Speaker 1: Hello, yes, hi, Hello, Hello.
Speaker 2: How's it going?
Speaker 1: It's going all right? What's your name, sir? My name
Speaker 1: is Sam Sam, Well Sam. Uh I don't know if
Speaker 1: you've ever heard heard this Little Gecko show before, but
Speaker 1: uh I just kind of talked to people about whatever
Speaker 1: they want to talk about. So what do you want
Speaker 1: to talk about?
Speaker 3: I had a weird job a couple of years ago,
Speaker 3: and I think that's the reason why my girlfriend broke
Speaker 3: up with me, And and the job is real weird
Speaker 3: and have some stories to it, and uh I kind
Speaker 3: of wanted to talk about that weird time in my
Speaker 3: life for I had a people with them me all weird.
Speaker 1: What was the job?
Speaker 3: I was a crematory operator for pets.
Speaker 1: You think your girlfriend left you because it was your
Speaker 1: job to burn dead animals?
Speaker 3: That and also I was in school to become a
Speaker 3: funeral director.
Speaker 1: What drew you to the profession of dead dogs?
Speaker 3: So basically what had happened was is I was in
Speaker 3: funeral school and the teacher was like, Hey, my boss
Speaker 3: is looking for somebody to work at his crematory operations thing.
Speaker 3: And it's really good because it gets your foot in
Speaker 3: the door because he owned like a funeral home also,
Speaker 3: so I was like, oh, get your foot in the door,
Speaker 3: make a name for yourself, and I'll like okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: sure I'll work there. And then I ended up working there.
Speaker 1: What's your favor part about burning dead dogs?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 3: Literally nothing? It made me like to sensitize with like
Speaker 3: the whole thing. And then I'm like, I love animals?
Speaker 3: What am I doing?
Speaker 1: Yeah? What I mean?
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 1: Uh? Why did you decide to go into this profession?
Speaker 1: If you love animals, wouldn't that make you Wouldn't it
Speaker 1: be natural that that would make you sad?
Speaker 3: That was the thing. Like at first, when I first
Speaker 3: started the job, I was sad. I was like this
Speaker 3: is like awful. But then I started like being like
Speaker 3: annoyed by it. It's like like I don't know, people
Speaker 3: were like showing up and it was always just the
Speaker 3: same story, like people just coming up to me and
Speaker 3: like you know what, like you know, pets are actually
Speaker 3: like a pet dying is actually sadder than a human dying.
Speaker 3: And I'm just like what are you talking about? Like
Speaker 3: what what do you mean? And then I'm just like wait,
Speaker 3: like I understand, like I had a pet that path
Speaker 3: the way, and like it really sucks and like the end,
Speaker 3: the moment you just say whatever, and I don't know.
Speaker 3: I was just feeling like I was just losing entirely
Speaker 3: my whole empathy for like people's emotions, and it was
Speaker 3: just not right.
Speaker 1: Do you feel as though you've regained that empathy?
Speaker 3: I think so, because now I look at dead animals
Speaker 3: and I'm grossed out, when before I was like, oh, yeah, sure,
Speaker 3: like you know.
Speaker 4: There's some blood. It is what it is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a pretty gross job. There's pretty like funny
Speaker 3: stories though that had come from it, though, surprisingly enough.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like what.
Speaker 3: It was like my like second or third day of
Speaker 3: working there, and I'm just working under the ball because
Speaker 3: like she was trying to teach me everything, and so
Speaker 3: this like lady calls like in a hysterics, like I
Speaker 3: don't know, like what happened to my cat, Like my
Speaker 3: cat like she just died, Like do you guys do
Speaker 3: like autopsies? And my boss she said no, we just
Speaker 3: do a cremation. And then she's just like staying on
Speaker 3: the phone, was like Okay, well I'm gonna cut open
Speaker 3: my cat and see how she died. And then she's yeah,
Speaker 3: And then my boss was like, don't do that if
Speaker 3: you do that, we're not gonna like take your animal.
Speaker 3: And then she's like she just hangs up the phone,
Speaker 3: and then her husband calls back like ten minutes later
Speaker 3: and was like, yeah, so she cut open the cat
Speaker 3: and I can we still bring the cat? And I'm like,
Speaker 3: what is going on? And then my boss was just
Speaker 3: going and just goes tore them and it was like
Speaker 3: all right, you got to like put it in a
Speaker 3: bag and like put it in a box and like
Speaker 3: we're just gonna put the cat in there. And they
Speaker 3: completely did not do that. So they just showed up
Speaker 3: with the cat just completely desecrated, and it was very
Speaker 3: crazy to see. And this lady was so drunk, like
Speaker 3: so incredibly drunk. It was bad.
Speaker 1: She was she was drunk.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she was just hammered, like completely hand and it
Speaker 3: was like ten o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine drunkenly cutting open a cat? That sounds
Speaker 1: I mean, that's probably not the best moment in her life.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, no, that's definitely. I don't know. And her
Speaker 3: husband was like super chill about it, like and it
Speaker 3: made That's what creeped me out the most, how silver
Speaker 3: husband was about it.
Speaker 2: I feel like that.
Speaker 1: I feel like those two probably balance each other out.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, but that's I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know why, but that sounds like a good
Speaker 1: relationship actually, because that that lady needs him as her
Speaker 1: rock because she I can only imagine. I mean, I
Speaker 1: think that that guy sounds like he's keeping her from
Speaker 1: cutting up people.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I hope he's keeping a good eye on her,
Speaker 3: because I worry about them sometimes. I look back at
Speaker 3: that moment and I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Now now when you saw the cut open cat was
Speaker 1: just at a point where you were like, oh, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's just what it is, or where you like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's pretty fucked up.
Speaker 3: It was pretty fucked up because I love cats personally,
Speaker 3: and at that time my cat was still alive, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, great, now I'm gonna look at my
Speaker 3: hand and be like, oh, so that's what's inside of
Speaker 3: the cat. Huh Yeah, but yeah, I don't. I quickly
Speaker 3: got out of that profession. I am actually kind of
Speaker 3: glad that I did take that job because it really
Speaker 3: showed me that I don't want to be in funeral service.
Speaker 1: That was good. Do you uh, oh what was it, Oh, yes,
Speaker 1: your girlfriend broke up with you over it? What happened there?
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I noticed like when we would be like out,
Speaker 3: she didn't like it when I whenever like I would
Speaker 3: meet like someone like new that like you know, if
Speaker 3: she was like introducing me, and then they would be like, oh,
Speaker 3: so what do you do? And then I had mentioned like, oh,
Speaker 3: I am like in funeral service, and then like that
Speaker 3: always sparks up like a whole discussion. Like I started
Speaker 3: getting really annoyed by it. And that's when I was like,
Speaker 3: do I really want to do this the rest of
Speaker 3: my life? Have to explain why I did this and
Speaker 3: why I'm in this. And I just like saw her
Speaker 3: face and like she just looked like she because we
Speaker 3: when we first started dating, I was not in that.
Speaker 3: I was like just in community college. And then I
Speaker 3: made the switch in the middle of our relationship, and
Speaker 3: that's when I really saw the decline. I think she
Speaker 3: was like just skeeved out by the whole thing.
Speaker 1: How has this profession affected your view of your own death?
Speaker 3: Not really by much. I don't know. My uh.
Speaker 2: My view on.
Speaker 3: Death is just very like I mean, it's like, can
Speaker 3: you remember before you were born. I mean, I just think, like,
Speaker 3: after you die, it's just going to be like before
Speaker 3: you were born, Like it's not really going to be sad,
Speaker 3: because it's just going to be like.
Speaker 2: Nothing.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Does anything make you happy these days?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, A lot of things make me happy. I live
Speaker 3: a happy life, you know, just live in the moment
Speaker 3: kind of thing. Just be around friends and family. I've
Speaker 3: been doing pretty okay, like and then a new profession
Speaker 3: of much more easier to talk about professions.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but do you do now?
Speaker 3: I'm a plumber.
Speaker 1: You're a plumber.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, like a commercial plumber.
Speaker 1: That's almost it's not as depressing, but that's all it's also,
Speaker 1: I mean it's you went from dead dogs to diarrhea.
Speaker 3: No actually yeah no, commerci was all like new that's
Speaker 3: a service work.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, commercial like businesses.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: No, like just like like brand new buildings and stuff
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 1: Oh so you're working on toilets before anyone ever even
Speaker 1: ships in them.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'm like the first person to take a
Speaker 3: shit in it, if anything.
Speaker 1: Wow, you went from death to uh life of a
Speaker 1: toilet toilet life?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I give yeah, and provide life with the water
Speaker 3: and stuff.
Speaker 1: You know, you do you have a new girlfriend.
Speaker 3: Now, dating life has just been on and off. It's
Speaker 3: a lot of hinge and dating. I don't know. It
Speaker 3: sucks because like I look back at that and it's like, damn,
Speaker 3: if I just didn't make that switch in that profession,
Speaker 3: that would be with the ex girlfriend that was pretty
Speaker 3: day a cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I mean she really even if she was cool,
Speaker 1: she ultimately like it sounds like she didn't like accept
Speaker 1: you for who you were. I guess is that accurate
Speaker 1: or am I making that up?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: I get the sentiment, but it's like that was also
Speaker 3: not the guy who was dating and ultimately not the
Speaker 3: person I was, because I really went into it for
Speaker 3: the money. But like, they don't even make a lot
Speaker 3: of money, funeral directors. That is like a myth. They don't.
Speaker 3: They really don't make a lot of money. You got
Speaker 3: to own a home, but that's impossible nowadays.
Speaker 1: But so initially the plan was to just to graduate
Speaker 1: from dogs to people.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was like an entry level job pretty much.
Speaker 1: Was there a moment where you decided that you didn't
Speaker 1: want to do that anymore?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, when I just quit? Yeah, I just had enough
Speaker 3: and then my friend said you should just really get
Speaker 3: into plumbing, and I was like, all right, sure, that's
Speaker 3: pretty cool. I like legos growing up, and then I
Speaker 3: just got into that. I was like, all right, this
Speaker 3: job is like the coolest job I've ever had, and
Speaker 3: I still think of it. I like it.
Speaker 1: What's the deadest dog You've ever seen?
Speaker 3: The deadest dog? Oh my god?
Speaker 2: I should you know?
Speaker 3: All right, So I'm born in ninety eight.
Speaker 1: Right, I'm so excited that you have an answer to that.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if excited is the word,
Speaker 1: but I'm surprised that you haven't answer to this question.
Speaker 3: Go ahead, yeah, no, no, I have plenty, but this
Speaker 3: one's like not sad and gross. Okay, I'm born ninety eight.
Speaker 3: I'm twenty six years old. This person pulls up with
Speaker 3: a Chihuahua and it is like just bones, Like I'm like,
Speaker 3: what is this? And then she's like, oh, he was
Speaker 3: born in like nineteen ninety four, ninety three, and I
Speaker 3: was like, oh my god, like how old is this
Speaker 3: was this dog? And then uh, this is like a
Speaker 3: I also have a really fucked up story too, like
Speaker 3: this quick story.
Speaker 1: Wait would you do it? So she just she just
Speaker 1: had she was procrastinating on getting that dog cremated.
Speaker 3: Well no, no, it wasn't like like no, it was
Speaker 3: just like like imagine like a starving, starving dog, but
Speaker 3: it was just really old, like it didn't even look
Speaker 3: like a dog anymore.
Speaker 2: Like it was so old.
Speaker 3: But like I was like, this died today, Like she's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: put him down. I'm like I could have put him
Speaker 3: down like five years ago. Like this dog was so old.
Speaker 1: It was oh oh oh, I thought somebody was literally
Speaker 1: bringing you dog bones. So it was like a just
Speaker 1: a skeleton of a dog.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: And she just kind of like instead of putting him down,
Speaker 1: like let him wrote it out, let him write it out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, No, it was like the dog was so
Speaker 3: old and like, and she was like I would die today,
Speaker 3: Like they put it down, but it was way if.
Speaker 3: The dog was way way too old. They had one
Speaker 3: eye and everything. It was pretty bad, all right.
Speaker 1: You said you had one other dead dog story you
Speaker 1: wanted to tell.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this this didn't happen to me, luckily, because I
Speaker 3: would have told the person to get get out of here.
Speaker 3: But this lady had brought her dog in, who was
Speaker 3: like and she brought in the dog to one of
Speaker 3: my coworkers. His name was Steve was.
Speaker 4: So she brought the dog to Steve and put him
Speaker 4: put the dog on the table it's like a viewing table,
Speaker 4: and Steve, you know, take the dog from her, and
Speaker 4: then he notices that the dog is still breathing, and
Speaker 4: he's like.
Speaker 3: Whoa, whoa, the dog is still alive. And then she's like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 3: you guys don't like put them down. And he says
Speaker 3: like he was looking at the dog like dogs was
Speaker 3: like dying, Jesus and he was like, no, like, go
Speaker 3: to the vet down the street and put him down.
Speaker 3: And she's like, you don't think you could just like
Speaker 3: put the dog in there, and he's like, no, absolutely not.
Speaker 3: She wanted they.
Speaker 1: Wanted you to burn the fucking dog alive. Yeah, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3: You don't think you don't think you can just put
Speaker 3: him in there like he's already like dying.
Speaker 4: And he's like, no, absolutely not, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3: It gets the worst, it gets the worst, it gets worse.
Speaker 3: And then the woman he goes like, go to the
Speaker 3: vet down the street and then come back, and so
Speaker 3: she goes out to the car and he and you
Speaker 3: can see outside the car, never left. She's out there
Speaker 3: for five minutes and then she comes back in like Okay.
Speaker 1: No, no, no.
Speaker 3: No, I swear to you No.
Speaker 1: That's so fucked up. Yeah, that's one of the more
Speaker 1: fucked up things I think I honestly have heard on
Speaker 1: this on this podcast. That's really fucked up. She just
Speaker 1: went and she just fucking like took the dog into
Speaker 1: her car and killed it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 1: Jesus, Oh my god, wait, did your did your cowork
Speaker 1: did your co worker not? Was your coworker like all right,
Speaker 1: well I guess if he's dead to bring him in? Yeah?
Speaker 3: No, he was just like Okay.
Speaker 1: This fucking Christ. What's the fuck is wrong with everyone
Speaker 1: in that situation? God damn.
Speaker 3: I you know, I've had a lot of like this
Speaker 3: was like a couple of years ago. It's hard to
Speaker 3: like remember like a lot of it. But I've had
Speaker 3: like so many just like crazy stories, just like not
Speaker 3: nothing as crazy as that. It's just the only one
Speaker 3: I experienced was like that lady with cutting open her cat.
Speaker 3: But that has to be like hand down, like the work.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the let me let me kill my
Speaker 1: dog real quick lady is probably the worst Jesus, that's
Speaker 1: so fun. That's insane. Man. Yeah, well, congratulations on switching
Speaker 1: professions to toilets.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, honestly, the worst, the worst diarrhea, taking a
Speaker 6: ship on the rim of the toilet seat, whatever thing
Speaker 6: is not as bad as that.
Speaker 1: And you don't even deal with that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're you're you're.
Speaker 1: Cleaning Ikea toilets. Now you're not cleaning them, You're I don't.
Speaker 1: I just still know what you're doing. Well, thanks for sharing.
Speaker 1: I know. I I think you know, by the way,
Speaker 1: I like dogs. I love dogs a lot, have had
Speaker 1: dogs growing up. I think I don't. I think my
Speaker 1: eagerness for you to tell me dead dog stories maybe
Speaker 1: comes off like I don't like dogs, but I do.
Speaker 1: And I would never kill a dog in my car,
Speaker 1: and I hope you wouldn't either, And I hope everyone
Speaker 1: listening wouldn't do that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, please don't kill dogs.
Speaker 1: What's your name again?
Speaker 3: Sam?
Speaker 1: Sam? Is there anything else you want to say to
Speaker 1: the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 3: No, hope.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 3: Everyone has a good life.
Speaker 1: Hey, take care, Sam, Take care. That actually might be
Speaker 1: one of the most fucked up things I've heard on
Speaker 1: the show. That's that's just insane. I have I don't
Speaker 1: know what to make of that. People are crazy, Like
Speaker 1: I don't know, Well, it kind of makes sense when you, like,
Speaker 1: like you ever go on Facebook and you see crazy people.
Speaker 1: They're not just in your computer, they're in real life,
Speaker 1: and real life there's crazy, fucked up people. That's wild.
Speaker 1: That's that's insane. Yeah, I don't know. I'm glad that
Speaker 1: that guy got out of killing dogs. That's gotta be what.
Speaker 1: It's gotta be, a not particularly desirable profession, but somebody
Speaker 1: has to do it. So I respect the dog cremation
Speaker 1: people because someone has to do it, and no one,
Speaker 1: I don't think wants to. Attention listeners of the Therapy
Speaker 1: Gecko podcast, do you know that I do a live
Speaker 1: version of this podcast on stage in person, in front
Speaker 1: of real people, That I'm doing this live show in
Speaker 1: several cities across the United States this year, and that
Speaker 1: tickets are available right now at therapy geckotour dot com
Speaker 1: or at the link in the episode description. It is
Speaker 1: all true. I'm currently on my third tour doing Therapy
Speaker 1: Gecko live all around the country and it is the
Speaker 1: most fun, sick, amazing thing ever. And you should come
Speaker 1: out and be a part of it. The shows involve
Speaker 1: a mix of material and presentations from myself combined with
Speaker 1: a group Gecko therapy session where members of the audience
Speaker 1: come on stage to share things from their lives in
Speaker 1: front of a big group of people, just like we
Speaker 1: do here on the podcast. Whether you're a fan of
Speaker 1: the podcast or you have no idea what this is
Speaker 1: and you clicked on it by accident, you're gonna have
Speaker 1: a great time at the live show once again. Tickets
Speaker 1: are available right now at therapy geckotour dot com or
Speaker 1: at the link in the episode description. These are really
Speaker 1: fun shows. They're always wild, they're always unpredict the bull
Speaker 1: and I hope to see you guys there.
Speaker 2: Hello, Yo, who's this?
Speaker 1: This is a gecko?
Speaker 5: Oh shit? Oh my bad. I was like, who is
Speaker 5: calling me in the middle of the night.
Speaker 1: No, you didn't do anything wrong. What's uh? What's your name?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you a name. I like doing that better.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call you, uh uh John? What's up? John?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 5: Damn, nothing much. Just sentrum my apartment, hanging out with
Speaker 5: my cat, smoking weed.
Speaker 1: You know, that's that's a good life. That's a good life.
Speaker 1: Hell ya, that's a good life.
Speaker 5: Super lucky.
Speaker 1: I was. I got I did a physical today and
Speaker 1: they drew my blood and I passed out and I
Speaker 1: thought I was dying because and I thought I was dying.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, oh, I think like if
Speaker 1: you get shot and you're losing a bunch of blood,
Speaker 1: that's I guess that's what it feels like, you know
Speaker 1: what I.
Speaker 5: Mean, But like, yeah, more like maybe a water fall.
Speaker 1: Though, yeah, you know. And so I was like, well,
Speaker 1: it just kind of I was just just thinking about
Speaker 1: it because I was like, I wasn't like, you know,
Speaker 1: it was, I wasn't close. I wasn't anywhere near close
Speaker 1: to dying. I just passed out from getting my blood drawn.
Speaker 1: I wasn't a big deal, but I did kind of.
Speaker 1: I was kind of a little but I was. I
Speaker 1: was kind of like, oh, this is like a little
Speaker 1: this is like a little taste of what it would
Speaker 1: be like to bleed out and die. And the rest
Speaker 1: of the day I was like, you know, I think
Speaker 1: anytime you're not bleeding out and dying, you're doing pretty
Speaker 1: damn good. So good because you're not bleeding out and dying.
Speaker 5: Yeah, not yet, so.
Speaker 1: Uh so, what's up, John, what do you want to
Speaker 1: talk about?
Speaker 5: Well, I just texted you. So my job is kind
Speaker 5: of like yours, right, So people like they treated me
Speaker 5: like a therapist, and actually I think there's probably a
Speaker 5: lot of other people who related. So I'm a tattoo artist.
Speaker 5: So I don't know if you've heard about this, but
Speaker 5: people like to get tattooed, and they're like, oh yeah,
Speaker 5: ink therapy, blah blah blah blah, and then they just
Speaker 5: like they tell you some crazy shit and like, I
Speaker 5: don't have training for any of that. I got my
Speaker 5: own shit going on. I'm down to listen. But like,
Speaker 5: sometimes like people are telling me shit that they probably
Speaker 5: wouldn't even tell their therapist, you know, like all.
Speaker 1: Day ink therapy. It's OK. I guess it's kind of
Speaker 1: like the barber shop where like you go to you
Speaker 1: go to gab a little bit.
Speaker 5: Yeah, definitely, except like, well, I mean, I guess you're
Speaker 5: sitting there for a long time, but when you're getting tattooeds.
Speaker 5: I mean I'll be sitting with some of these people
Speaker 5: for like three hours, give or take. And like I'm
Speaker 5: telling you, like, people tell me some crazy shit, Like
Speaker 5: I remember I had this girl come in. I had
Speaker 5: been tattooing her for a while, and you know, without
Speaker 5: going into the gory detail, she's in a very bad
Speaker 5: relationship and you know we talk about here there, like
Speaker 5: you could, you know, emphasize on certain things. So one
Speaker 5: day she comes in with this dude and I was like, oh,
Speaker 5: this is this dude. She's like, yeah, this is so and
Speaker 5: so I'm like, it's not the asshole, right. She's like,
Speaker 5: oh no, And I was like, oh, you guys are
Speaker 5: cute blah blah blah. So like this dude's quiet, and
Speaker 5: I'm about to tattoo this girl and he's like, all right,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna go hang out outside. She's like all right,
Speaker 5: and then like as soon as she hears the bell
Speaker 5: in the door, she's like, oh my god, that's actually
Speaker 5: the dude. And you know, he actually tried to unlive
Speaker 5: me last week. And I don't know what to do
Speaker 5: and I need your help, and I was like what
Speaker 5: the fuck. I'm like, I can't do any of that,
Speaker 5: Like like people just like I want to help people
Speaker 5: and I want to listen, but like I can't do
Speaker 5: that shit.
Speaker 1: You know, Uh yeah, no, I mean that's way more
Speaker 1: than what you signed up for.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So, like I don't want to sound ungrateful because
Speaker 5: it's like I am honored that people are going to
Speaker 5: open up to me, but sometimes I'm like, yeah, no.
Speaker 1: I for like, seriously, if you I really do, if
Speaker 1: you make the decision and you're like, look, I'm here
Speaker 1: to give people tattoos. I can't come. I can't get
Speaker 1: involved in their lives and you know, give them psychiatric evaluations.
Speaker 1: That's not what I signed up for. You don't have
Speaker 1: to feel bad about that, like I don't. I don't.
Speaker 1: You don't have to beat yourself up about that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I appreciate that. I mean, like again, I
Speaker 5: don't want to sound selfish because I know we all
Speaker 5: got shit going on, but it's like part of when
Speaker 5: you've got shit going on your own life and then
Speaker 5: like people are getting like real personality and it's like
Speaker 5: oh man, like like two things at once. I don't
Speaker 5: know how to explain it.
Speaker 1: But.
Speaker 5: Yeah, people go through some crazy shit and I gotta
Speaker 5: give the human race a lot of credit.
Speaker 1: No, I mean you don't. I mean you don't have
Speaker 1: to like like even I guess for me with this podcast,
Speaker 1: you know, I think I I used to a lot
Speaker 1: more kind of beat myself up for not having like
Speaker 1: the perfect stuff to say all the time, you know.
Speaker 1: And then and then I kind of and then I
Speaker 1: made a decision where I was like, well, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: try my best to navigate this thing, and uh, if
Speaker 1: I fall short of perfect, I'm not gonna you know,
Speaker 1: feel bad about it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, No, you're right. I'm definitely I'm definitely perfectionist
Speaker 5: and definitely people pleaser. So it really does like leak
Speaker 5: into every part of your life. I always figured because
Speaker 5: of my profession, like people are like trusting you to
Speaker 5: put them in a vulnerable physician. So it's like, you know,
Speaker 5: like these accommodating as you can, but sometimes you like
Speaker 5: accommodate way too much.
Speaker 1: By the way, guilty you said. By the way, I'm
Speaker 1: just looking at these texts that you sent me. You
Speaker 1: sent me, I'm just going to read a few of
Speaker 1: these because you've you've got Yeah, the first time you
Speaker 1: texted me on this on this line was a year ago,
Speaker 1: and you sent me so many different things. I want
Speaker 1: to talk about how hard it is to date with
Speaker 1: Can I can I can I say these things? I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess if you texted me, then you want to
Speaker 1: talk about.
Speaker 5: Yeah, which whatever.
Speaker 3: You want to start with.
Speaker 1: I don't know if we'll be able to get through
Speaker 1: all these, but I guess just at a glance, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna I'm just gonna read off some things and
Speaker 1: if there's anything that you want to get into, let
Speaker 1: me know. You said, I want to talk about how
Speaker 1: hard it is to date with genital herpes. I want
Speaker 1: to talk about spilling my dad's ashes.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about my ex moving down the
Speaker 1: hall to try to convince me to marry him. Uh,
Speaker 1: my ex used to pee on my stuff. I met
Speaker 1: somebody on vacation who wants to help me traffic people
Speaker 1: help him.
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, No, I'm not trying to trap anything.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, No, sorry, that's that's probably that's an
Speaker 1: important detail.
Speaker 5: No, no, yeah.
Speaker 1: I like that. I like this one. I'm afraid of Australia.
Speaker 1: That one's kind of why are you afraid of Australia?
Speaker 5: Like, all right, because you've been there, right, yeah, I've
Speaker 5: like I've never been there, but I see these fucking
Speaker 5: bugs and like, like, yo, I I just think about
Speaker 5: seeing one of those fucking giant spiders. In the upper
Speaker 5: corner of my room, and I just like I had
Speaker 5: a client and well, like I guess she originally moved
Speaker 5: there from India and then she came visiting some family
Speaker 5: in America and she was like, I guess they moved
Speaker 5: to Australia about like twenty years ago. And she said
Speaker 5: her first night there, they were in a hotel room
Speaker 5: and she saw one of them in the corner and
Speaker 5: it fucking scurried behind like the window whatever. I just like,
Speaker 5: you know, there's so many bugs like that and fucking
Speaker 5: kowala's piece through their skins, kangaroos or like fucking bodybuilders.
Speaker 5: Like it's just like, yeah, I mean, so I don't
Speaker 5: know that that shit. I don't know why Australia and
Speaker 5: then like the deep sea freaks me out like that.
Speaker 1: You know what the good news is is you never
Speaker 1: ever ever have to go there. Yeah, you never you
Speaker 1: unless if you want to, Unless if you want to,
Speaker 1: You will never have to go to Australia or the
Speaker 1: deep sea. Like when you're get like when you get
Speaker 1: your license renewed, they're not gonna make you go to
Speaker 1: the deep sea. You'll never have to do it.
Speaker 5: Well, we'll see how that goes to global warming?
Speaker 1: Where do you?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: Can I ask you? What state you're in?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: I'm in New Jersey, New Jersey, Okay, New Jersey debatably
Speaker 1: scarier than Australia.
Speaker 5: Well, I grew up here, So I don't know, like
Speaker 5: it is the way that it is.
Speaker 1: You know, you you text you, you texted me a
Speaker 1: bunch of things. You said, You're you feel like you're
Speaker 1: becoming agoraphobic. This was a month ago. Do you still
Speaker 1: feel that way?
Speaker 5: Yeah? I like I just got like, okay, well, I
Speaker 5: don't want to bore you with the details, but with
Speaker 5: whatever you want to bore you with. Okay. Well, all,
Speaker 5: so I have multiple crazy exes. One like just did
Speaker 5: some unforgivable ship like tortured me like for a year
Speaker 5: like all this other ship was going on my dad
Speaker 5: died and ship. No, no, it's okay. I'm not trying
Speaker 5: to like, but yeah, he was like cheating on me
Speaker 5: with my dad died and like just very like uh
Speaker 5: you know, and you know I ended things with him
Speaker 5: and he likes a little stocky, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: And is this the guy who moved in down the
Speaker 1: hall from you to try to convince you to marry him.
Speaker 5: No, that's a different guy. He was fucked up. Yeah,
Speaker 5: So like this dude, I me and him were together
Speaker 5: for like three years. We were like living in like
Speaker 5: not like a trailer home, but you know one of
Speaker 5: those mobile trailers you attached to the back of your car.
Speaker 5: We're living in one of them, in a parking lot
Speaker 5: at a gas station. We lived there for about a
Speaker 5: year and a half and then I started making more
Speaker 5: of like a livable wage, so we moved into an
Speaker 5: actual apartment. I ended things with him, like I guess
Speaker 5: a year and a half after that, because he's kind
Speaker 5: of like a raging alcoholic. So I broke up with him.
Speaker 5: This is a couple of months before my dad died.
Speaker 5: And I was just like gonna stark spiral, I guess
Speaker 5: you could say. And my sister was like, uh, it's
Speaker 5: so effective. Actually have these episodes, and you know some
Speaker 5: like I get asked to help a lot. Anyway, all
Speaker 5: this shit's going on, and after a couple of months,
Speaker 5: like I don't know why, I unblocked him on Instagram
Speaker 5: and he like immediately messaged me, which should have been
Speaker 5: a red flag. But if I became friends with him,
Speaker 5: were you were.
Speaker 1: You were you were you just feeling.
Speaker 5: Lonely, I guess. So part of me is like I
Speaker 5: miss like, you know, we we used to have like
Speaker 5: a I don't know, and certainly as we had a
Speaker 5: sense of humor in that match with each other, like
Speaker 5: to me, like somebody you can laugh with is like
Speaker 5: one of the most important things. So I became friends
Speaker 5: with him, and then I had to block him. It
Speaker 5: would be on and off, but like friends, if that
Speaker 5: makes sense. And then over the summer I had unblocked
Speaker 5: him again, like we talked, we hung out once or twice,
Speaker 5: and then two weeks after like messaging me, he's like, hey,
Speaker 5: how would you feel if I moved into your building?
Speaker 5: I'm like, well, that would be weird.
Speaker 1: I mean a different guy from the guy who you
Speaker 1: said you who you said tortured you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, because it's different. This is a guy before that. Yeah,
Speaker 5: my bad is confusing. So yeah. So two weeks after
Speaker 5: we became friends again, he fucking messages me and he's like,
Speaker 5: how did you feel about me moving down the hall?
Speaker 5: And I was like, well, it'd be kind of weird,
Speaker 5: but whatever, And then he was like, oh good because
Speaker 5: I already talked to the land where lord and she says,
Speaker 5: I can move in this Saturday. Yeah, and like, you know,
Speaker 5: I remember, like when I became friends with him again.
Speaker 5: He like he's like yeah, Like every so often I
Speaker 5: try to come back and see you, and you know,
Speaker 5: I would leave things by your car, Like I found
Speaker 5: a ferbie and I put it like near your car
Speaker 5: because I wanted you to see it. But then I
Speaker 5: saw you didn't have like this rose I gave you
Speaker 5: a year ago inside, so I turned the ferbie on
Speaker 5: you on your car to make it all creepy. I
Speaker 5: was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? So
Speaker 5: are you?
Speaker 1: Are you? Are you still friends with this guy?
Speaker 5: No? No, so he lives three three doors down, he
Speaker 5: still lives here. I don't know.
Speaker 1: How do you guys run into each other.
Speaker 5: There haven't a few times. I just like so like
Speaker 5: I wear glasses, so like if I see him, I'll
Speaker 5: like take mine off because in my brain I'm like, oh, well,
Speaker 5: if he sees me not wearing my glasses, I see him.
Speaker 1: You know, I thought I thought it was gonna be
Speaker 1: like a Clark Kent thing, where like if you're lots
Speaker 1: of disguise to not wear glasses.
Speaker 5: Yeah, except like like not at all, Like it does
Speaker 5: not fucking work at all.
Speaker 1: So I mean you started talking about all this when
Speaker 1: I asked you if you about you feeling agoraphobic is
Speaker 1: like as part of the reason you don't want to
Speaker 1: leave the house because you're afraid to like run into
Speaker 1: this dude, Yeah, which.
Speaker 5: I feel like sounds a little ridiculous, but I'm just like, again,
Speaker 5: I guess this as time has gone on, just all
Speaker 5: the stress from life kind of builds up and I
Speaker 5: get home from work and I'm like, uh, yes, my
Speaker 5: little heidie hole, but.
Speaker 1: This is like this is like super annoying. But would
Speaker 1: you ever move? You know?
Speaker 5: I would, but I can't afford it. So because I
Speaker 5: have thought about it, but I mean what I've been
Speaker 5: I just I just can't afford it. So, I mean
Speaker 5: there been times where I'm trying to like figure shit out,
Speaker 5: but then I just kind of give up because I'm
Speaker 5: like I got one hundred and ten million other things
Speaker 5: to take care of, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Well, so I mean agoraphobic. I mean you're the way
Speaker 1: you just said it, where you were like after being
Speaker 1: stressed out from working and whatnot. I just like to,
Speaker 1: you know, be in my hidie hole and chill.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 1: I mean that sound that sounds pretty normal.
Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm not a real therapist. I'm just
Speaker 1: chit chacking.
Speaker 5: No, no, no, I get what you mean. I get what
Speaker 5: you mean. Like like, okay, if I don't have to
Speaker 5: leave my apartment, I can stay in here for days
Speaker 5: and like not walk out my front door once. Like
Speaker 5: is that something?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 5: Hopefully it is normal? What is that? Like?
Speaker 1: Here's what I mean. Here's the thing, And this is
Speaker 1: what I really believe is like are do you?
Speaker 6: Are you?
Speaker 1: I mean, look you you. I asked you what you
Speaker 1: were doing. You said, I'm smoking weed. I'm hanging out
Speaker 1: with my dog. Right, you have a dog.
Speaker 5: I got three cats.
Speaker 1: You got three cats. You're hanging out with your cats.
Speaker 1: You're smoking weed, your watching You're hanging like are The
Speaker 1: bottom line is are you enjoying life? Because if you
Speaker 1: were to tell here's the thing, if you were to
Speaker 1: tell me, I long for greater fulfillment in my life
Speaker 1: by going out into the universe and doing stuff, but
Speaker 1: I'm terrified to do it, I would say that's bad.
Speaker 1: I think that would be bad. But I don't know
Speaker 1: if that's your situation.
Speaker 5: You know what I because I I really do, like I
Speaker 5: want to travel and I want to do like all
Speaker 5: this crazy shit like I recently worked, Like it's have
Speaker 5: too convention, which they can get crazy, but you get
Speaker 5: to meet other people and like go out and socialize
Speaker 5: and like I want to like see new places and
Speaker 5: try new shit, like I don't know, try to just
Speaker 5: be a person of the world, like you know what
Speaker 5: I mean. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm like
Speaker 5: it's like I can find joy in both. So like
Speaker 5: on one hand, I'm like super happy just chilling here,
Speaker 5: trying to be in the moment, being in my space,
Speaker 5: like recharging, nobody disturbing my peace. But then I just
Speaker 5: have to keep in mind, like this is not all
Speaker 5: there is. You gotta go out and get that other ship,
Speaker 5: you know. Yeah, does that make any sense?
Speaker 1: It does make sense. I mean so yeah. I mean
Speaker 1: that I've been to a tattoo convention before. I made
Speaker 1: a little video one yeah what fun fuck? What is
Speaker 1: it calls? It was was the Philadelphia one Philadelphia was
Speaker 1: in Philadelphia, Oh yeah one. Yeah. I think it's like
Speaker 1: a traveling one. I went there in twenty eighteen. Yeh,
Speaker 1: I met this clown that talked about eating kids.
Speaker 5: Oh nice, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's fun. Uh yeah, I mean so Bill
Speaker 1: is a real good one. So I mean, listen, I don't,
Speaker 1: I don't. I mean, I don't know you. We've just
Speaker 1: been chit chatting. But you sound like you're doing I mean,
Speaker 1: this is a blanket statement that I'm gonna make, but
Speaker 1: you sound as though you're doing better than you seem
Speaker 1: to give yourself credit for.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I guess, so do you are?
Speaker 1: I mean to what you just said where you were like,
Speaker 1: I want, I liked going out to the convention and
Speaker 1: I liked doing this and like that, are you like,
Speaker 1: are you afraid to put yourself out there to do
Speaker 1: more of that?
Speaker 5: I guess, well, now that I worked it, I'm like, yes,
Speaker 5: I want to work more and more and more, and
Speaker 5: I'm getting like really antsy to do it. But I think,
Speaker 5: I guess in that particular area, I'm like, I see
Speaker 5: all these other great artists there, and then I like,
Speaker 5: you know, I try to say as like humble as
Speaker 5: I can, because you know, you want to you want
Speaker 5: to get better and shit, But I also know that like,
Speaker 5: you know, I'm not the pinnacle of perfect tattooing, and
Speaker 5: there's all these other artists here and they're like fucking
Speaker 5: incredible or people have been following on the internet for years.
Speaker 2: Funtle.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's great, but it can definitely be a little intimidating.
Speaker 5: But you know, like after I kind of like, I
Speaker 5: don't know, it's that's.
Speaker 1: That's a really sorry, I'll finish your I had a thought,
Speaker 1: but I want you're good, That's what I was gonna say.
Speaker 1: It's a really annoying thing to have in you. I
Speaker 1: have it in me too, a little bit like like
Speaker 1: I can't go to like if I go to like
Speaker 1: a comedy show or something, uh, and it's good. I
Speaker 1: don't like it because I have this thing in me
Speaker 1: where I'm like, oh, but I want to you know,
Speaker 1: like what you're just described where like it makes you
Speaker 1: feel a little bit secure about yourself, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I have not resemful And it's not it's mild,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's malignant. It's not but like you see,
Speaker 1: you see something really good and it makes you feel
Speaker 1: kind of bad about yourself. I really I know exactly
Speaker 1: what you're talking about I think it's such a bad
Speaker 1: It's like I wish I didn't have it at all.
Speaker 1: You see people who are just like, uh oh, I
Speaker 1: just like stuff. I don't see everything. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: see people making good stuff as any reflection of me.
Speaker 1: You know. So I'm with you.
Speaker 5: I know what you're talking about, and I don't know
Speaker 5: about you, but it's like yeah, well probably yeah, probably not.
Speaker 5: But like also like I don't know about you. But
Speaker 5: for me, it's like like I have so much or
Speaker 5: like I feel like I have like so much reverence
Speaker 5: for all these other artists, and then I just feel
Speaker 5: like I'm not equal to any of them, like save
Speaker 5: us or not, like you know what I mean, just
Speaker 5: any and every other chatsyo artists. But then it's like, well,
Speaker 5: I got to give myself some credit because I'm working it. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I got clientele. I this is my full time job.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, you know, don't I guess I don't. Why
Speaker 1: does I don't Why does whether or not you are
Speaker 1: as good as them whatever that means? Because you know,
Speaker 1: artists subjective and all that, all that all that stuff.
Speaker 1: Uh well I guess what, but but like your that
Speaker 1: doesn't in the context of your in the context of
Speaker 1: your goal being I want to go out into the
Speaker 1: world and do fun stuff and be around other people.
Speaker 1: You know, that doesn't it doesn't matter whether or not
Speaker 1: you're as good as some tattoo grand master person thing.
Speaker 5: Yeah it's sucking the mega ultimate.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean you're if you're if you're living
Speaker 1: in an apartment that you pay for by injected, by
Speaker 1: drawing stuff on people. I don't know, I said, yeah,
Speaker 1: kind of kind of are injecting people with It's you.
Speaker 5: Know, the pa of thissconception. It's it's like poking. It's
Speaker 5: not like intervenous. I'm not going.
Speaker 1: POCU is a mild injection. I mean, look, you're not
Speaker 1: You're not tying up their arm and putting a syringe
Speaker 1: of ink in their veins. But it's a.
Speaker 5: Little you know what it is. But it works more
Speaker 5: like like one of those fucking tens you dip in ink,
Speaker 5: like it's just doing like a small puncture and then
Speaker 5: like the ink is like flowing into it. So technically
Speaker 5: it's not injected. But I'm just fucking seeing that yet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But I mean, look, you live in a house
Speaker 1: that you pay for by injecting people with with ink,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean that's pretty that's a lot. I really,
Speaker 1: I mean that's a lot. That's oh yeah, that's trust me.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm super grateful. I am super, super, super fucking grateful.
Speaker 5: You know, life was a lot, very very different, and
Speaker 5: tattooing really changed my life and I'll never take that
Speaker 5: ship for granted. And I'm again, I'm just super fucking grateful,
Speaker 5: you know. Yeah, And I know that I worked hard
Speaker 5: to get here and I just gotta like give myself
Speaker 5: the credit for that.
Speaker 1: What's uh, what would you say is the is the
Speaker 1: weirdest tattoo you have been asked to give somebody?
Speaker 5: Are we talking about like ones that were requested but
Speaker 5: I never got to do? Or the one? Oh yeah,
Speaker 5: I guess I have some that I did end up doing,
Speaker 5: but they're not as weird as Okay, I'll tell you
Speaker 5: the ones that got sent, but the.
Speaker 1: Ones where you were like that's a bit too much
Speaker 1: for me.
Speaker 5: Okay, So actually was that? My boss is like, no,
Speaker 5: you can't do it, and I was.
Speaker 1: Like, what was it?
Speaker 5: So one of them was this dude emails and like,
Speaker 5: who knows, it could have been a prank. I really
Speaker 5: hope it wasn't. But this dude emailed and he's like, Hey,
Speaker 5: I want to get a realistic dragon going from my
Speaker 5: asshole all the way up my booch to like the
Speaker 5: base of my balls or whatever. And me and my
Speaker 5: coworker are like, yo, let's let's like tag team that.
Speaker 5: Let's do that shit together. And my boss was like, no,
Speaker 5: don't do that shit. But we emailed him back anyways,
Speaker 5: and he never answered, so I guess it doesn't matter,
Speaker 5: but that would have been really funny, getting really funny.
Speaker 1: Getting getting a tattoo on your gooch. Do people do
Speaker 1: that to people? Tattoo They're yes, yes, I'm gonna. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just stay on the line real quick. I'm on
Speaker 1: a Google. Oh don't worry, I paint tattoo. Also, I
Speaker 1: just turned the filter off. Oh oh god, Oh Jesus
Speaker 1: fucking Christ. This lady got a but if you googled
Speaker 1: this lady got a bunch of This lady got a
Speaker 1: bunch of spiders tattooed around her vagina. That's crazy.
Speaker 5: The lady knows what she likes.
Speaker 3: So oh this I like this one.
Speaker 1: I just this is some guy got a tattoo of
Speaker 1: the seven wharves marching into his ass. That's pretty great, right,
Speaker 1: that's pretty good. Well, what's your name? What's your name again?
Speaker 1: I gave you a name, John, John John. Is there
Speaker 1: anything else you want to say to the people of
Speaker 1: the computer before we go?
Speaker 5: Actually, yeah, real quick, sure, I know ever in the chat.
Speaker 5: I don't know if you remember it, but at the
Speaker 5: Bell House show last year, I was a girl with
Speaker 5: the split tongue in the back piece, and I felt
Speaker 5: like it acted really weird because I took a bunch
Speaker 5: of mushrooms and I went there by myself, and I
Speaker 5: also smoked a bunch of weeds. I'm sorry if I
Speaker 5: was weird. I felt like that was too much.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, you you got high and went to
Speaker 1: one of my shows? Yes, I actually, and I remember
Speaker 1: I remember you, And yeah, I remember because when I
Speaker 1: when I when I met you, I was like, man,
Speaker 1: she was really high and acting super weird. No, I've
Speaker 1: I don't remember that. I'm fucking that. Thanks for coming
Speaker 1: to which one? Which one did you come to?
Speaker 5: It was the Bellhouse in Brooklyn. It was on Tuesday.
Speaker 1: Twenty twenty two or twenty twenty three.
Speaker 5: Well, I went to it on twenty twenty two and
Speaker 5: twenty twenty three. Yeah, and then I went to your
Speaker 5: Philly show in twenty twenty three, like the cool day
Speaker 5: before that.
Speaker 1: Cool.
Speaker 5: Yeah, thanks man, Yeah yeah, I already got tickets to
Speaker 5: your next show.
Speaker 1: So fuck yeah. Awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome, thanks man. Okay,
Speaker 1: well if well now, well now, well now if I
Speaker 1: if I meet you at this show, you'll be like,
Speaker 1: I'm the lady who talked about.
Speaker 5: I'll be like you, I'm John.
Speaker 1: No, no, I don't remember anyone's name. We could have
Speaker 1: a conversation about for three hours and I won't remember
Speaker 1: your name. But if you tell me, you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm the lady.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's right, I on.
Speaker 1: Taints. Yeah, I'll remember that.
Speaker 5: Okay, taint tattoo, all right, I remember that. Shit.
Speaker 1: Hey, thank you very much for calling John. I have
Speaker 1: a good night.
Speaker 5: Thank you. You two have a great one. Fight.
Speaker 1: That was a nice call. That was fun. That was
Speaker 1: a nice chit chat. You know, I felt like a
Speaker 1: good chit chat. I like chit chat. I don't have
Speaker 1: any tattoos, not for any real reason. It's just because
Speaker 1: I don't know will will the tattoo of master shake
Speaker 1: on my ankle be relevant to me? When I'm eighty
Speaker 1: years old. Probably not. That's well, that's why. That's just
Speaker 1: why I can't get into tattoos is because like, uh,
Speaker 1: I mean, the posters I had on my wall when
Speaker 1: I was twenty one are much different from the ones
Speaker 1: I desire to have now, as the t shirts I wear,
Speaker 1: as you know, any kind of a detic thing about myself.
Speaker 1: So I think to make some kind of aesthetic permanent
Speaker 1: on your body forever, I guess it just never made
Speaker 1: I mean ever, I mean, you do you. I don't
Speaker 1: give a fuck what other people do, but just for me, like,
Speaker 1: it never made sense because my you know, tastes are
Speaker 1: constantly changing. I can't think of anything I'd want to
Speaker 1: have on myself forever. I don't know. Maybe I'll get
Speaker 1: a lady with tits on my.
Speaker 4: Arm.
Speaker 1: A lot of people seem to have that. That sounds
Speaker 1: that's cool? Yeah, okay, all right, well hello the gecko guy,
Speaker 1: No fucking way, what's going on?
Speaker 2: Wait for real?
Speaker 1: It's me? Who is this? Enough about me? Enough about me?
Speaker 1: What's up with you?
Speaker 5: Gabe?
Speaker 1: What's up with you?
Speaker 2: Gabe?
Speaker 1: How can I get you? Today?
Speaker 2: Sir? Okay? So, like I do trades working all but
Speaker 2: like I kind of hate it, especially when they have
Speaker 2: me go out of town, and I just like I
Speaker 2: don't know if I should keep doing it. And I'm
Speaker 2: contemplated like going to college to be a chef.
Speaker 1: So you're asking me if you should quit doing trades
Speaker 1: school to go to college to be a chef.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because like I don't know if feels like a
Speaker 2: bad idea, But at the same time, like I just
Speaker 2: want like unbiased like advice on it.
Speaker 1: You know, why do why do you think it's a
Speaker 1: bad idea?
Speaker 2: Because like the job pays well, and like it's it's union,
Speaker 2: so so I get good insurance and all that. It
Speaker 2: pays really good. And I've barely been doing it, but
Speaker 2: like kind of miserable when I go out of town
Speaker 2: for work because I got no friends around me. I
Speaker 2: got like none of my hobbies, and like it's it
Speaker 2: just blows.
Speaker 1: Do you have a passion for astronomy?
Speaker 2: I love cooking, like you ever, like chefed up a
Speaker 2: good meal for someone and like watches someone smile when
Speaker 2: they eat the food you cooked is immaculate.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't know, dude. I microwave rotisserie chickens. That's what
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 2: That's nuts. That's wild.
Speaker 1: What's your what's your magnum opus dish? What's your big uh?
Speaker 1: Your big dish?
Speaker 2: Oh big?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm so.
Speaker 2: I'm like the widest person to ever step foot on
Speaker 2: the earth. But I make this chicken tika masala every
Speaker 2: now and then. Dude, it's good.
Speaker 1: Oh well, all right, what's like our? I mean, here's
Speaker 1: the things why it's hard for me to give you
Speaker 1: unbiased advice because I don't really know what the career
Speaker 1: path of a chef looks like. You know, do you?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean, I just like I assume you like
Speaker 2: go to college for culinary school and then you go
Speaker 2: work at a restaurant and make food or like start
Speaker 2: your own restaurant.
Speaker 1: I can give you, I actually, I actually do think
Speaker 1: I can give you some some practical advice about this. Okay,
Speaker 1: you're you're nineteen, all right, that's what it says in.
Speaker 2: My Yeah, I'm ninety.
Speaker 1: What state do you live in?
Speaker 2: Alaska?
Speaker 1: You live in Alaska?
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, I'm I'm up here in Alaska. I'm I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm out of towna now. I'm in a town called Cordova.
Speaker 2: There's two thousand people here. There's no chain stores, which
Speaker 2: like I don't care, but like it's a way to
Speaker 2: measure like how populated it is.
Speaker 1: I mean, you live in Alaska, and none of your
Speaker 1: first of all, none of your decisions that you will
Speaker 1: ever make matter because you live in Alaska, which is
Speaker 1: not a real place. So I hope that and that
Speaker 1: that should give you some comfort. That should give you
Speaker 1: some comfort. You're not even a real person, so you
Speaker 1: can do whatever you want and it doesn't matter. My
Speaker 1: actual advice, though, is why don't you, like fucking do
Speaker 1: you are there? I assume there are chefs in Alaska? Correct, Yeah,
Speaker 1: why don't you go talk to like five different chefs
Speaker 1: and find out how they got to be where they
Speaker 1: got to be and then get their advice and use
Speaker 1: that information to inform your next move. Damn, that's what
Speaker 1: I would do if I was.
Speaker 2: A wise shp.
Speaker 5: FU.
Speaker 2: Damn. I don't really know how to reply to that.
Speaker 2: I was that was good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, go do that. I hope you do that.
Speaker 2: Man, really fucking.
Speaker 1: Well, that's what I I mean. So when I so,
Speaker 1: when I was in college, I used to go on Twitter.
Speaker 1: I used to try to like I wanted to be
Speaker 1: like a comedy writer, and so I just went on
Speaker 1: Twitter and I just found like that that like all
Speaker 1: the TV shows that I really liked, the writers of
Speaker 1: them were just on Twitter and they had like, you know,
Speaker 1: a couple thousand follow or so if I tweeted at them,
Speaker 1: they they would see it. And I got to do
Speaker 1: interviews with Like I interviewed the head writer of the
Speaker 1: Eric Andre show. I interviewed the creator of Nathan for You,
Speaker 1: not Nathan, but the other the guy who created it
Speaker 1: with Uh, interviewed the head writer ClickHole. This was all
Speaker 1: just like from like being in college and like screwing
Speaker 1: around on Twitter trying to talk to people. And so
Speaker 1: I mean that's what I would do if I was
Speaker 1: always find the people who do what you do, you know,
Speaker 1: to ask me for advice. I don't know fucking anything
Speaker 1: about being an Alaskan chef. Go ask five Alaskan chefs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, damn.
Speaker 1: And like I said, like I said, like I said,
Speaker 1: it's it really doesn't matter because U Alaska only really
Speaker 1: exists in theory. So you're good no matter what you do.
Speaker 2: Barely even a real place.
Speaker 1: I want to go there. I want to go. I
Speaker 1: want to go there. I want to do I've wanted
Speaker 1: to do a show there for a while.
Speaker 2: I would. I'd suck some homeless dick for you to
Speaker 2: do a show up here, like I do a lot
Speaker 2: of I'm not I'm not gonna make you do that
Speaker 2: come up here.
Speaker 1: I would never make you do that. I would never
Speaker 1: make you do that. To come to a show, you
Speaker 1: can just like that. Would just pay me twenty five
Speaker 1: to thirty dollars and we'll call it even what part?
Speaker 1: What city do you live in?
Speaker 2: So? I live in the town of Palmer.
Speaker 1: I don't know why.
Speaker 2: I almost at Florida, but I live in Palmer. It's
Speaker 2: like a smaller town, like seven thousand. But like, if
Speaker 2: you were to do a show, you probably want to
Speaker 2: go to like Anchorage, that's the biggest city.
Speaker 1: That's probably what I'm gonna do. Yeah, good Anchorage. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I keep emailing venues and then ever email
Speaker 1: me back. But we'll get there. I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try. Can I do it at your house?
Speaker 1: You have a house that I can do a show at.
Speaker 2: I still live with my parents, Like I can talk
Speaker 2: to them.
Speaker 1: All right, I'm you know what, I you know what.
Speaker 1: I I'm only I'm like thirty No, I'm really, I'm no,
Speaker 1: I'm not serious. I was gonna say I was like
Speaker 1: thirty percent serious. But I probably wouldn't do that. Oh
Speaker 1: if if you lived in Anchorage, maybe, but if you
Speaker 1: live in like far away from it, I probably probably
Speaker 1: wouldn't do that. I mean, it's honestly, even if you
Speaker 1: didn't live even if you didn't live an Anchorage, I
Speaker 1: don't think I would want to invite a bunch of
Speaker 1: strangers to your house to steal all your things.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'd be honored to have the get in
Speaker 2: my living room, Like that'd be a once in a
Speaker 2: lifetime opportunity.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's not just me. It would be like
Speaker 1: fucking Greg and stuff. Whatever.
Speaker 2: What's your name again, Gabe?
Speaker 1: Are you gonna do it? Are you gonna talk to
Speaker 1: the Alaskan chefs?
Speaker 2: Absolutely? That way cool, it's straight with.
Speaker 1: Let me know. Oh no, he fuck a damn it.
Speaker 1: The call disconnected because he lives in fucking Alaska. Should
Speaker 1: I call him back? We were pretty much at the end.
Speaker 1: There's a curb of Your Enthusiasm episode where Larry's on
Speaker 1: the phone with someone and the call drops, but like
Speaker 1: they were already at the end of the fucking conversation anyway,
Speaker 1: So he didn't call him back. Should I call him back?
Speaker 1: We were at the end of the cop I feel
Speaker 1: like we did it. I hope he I don't know.
Speaker 1: I guess. I mean we were at the end. I
Speaker 1: liked that guy. He was cool. I hope he dies.
Speaker 1: I hope if I if whoever, I forget what name
Speaker 1: I gave you or you gave me. But if you
Speaker 1: decide to call the Alaskan chefs, uh, let me know
Speaker 1: what they say. Maybe one day I'll go to Alaska
Speaker 1: and he can cook me a salmon at his house
Speaker 1: and I can steal some of his stuff. Do they
Speaker 1: have stuff in Alaska? I want to go. If you're
Speaker 1: listening to this and you own a venue in Alaska,
Speaker 1: let me know. I want to go there and do
Speaker 1: a show. All right, Thanks for calling, sir.
Speaker 2: Never be Kad goes on the line taking your phone
Speaker 2: calls every night, never goes to his side.
Speaker 1: He's teaching you aloud in the mot of your life,
Speaker 1: but he's not really an expert.