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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two case Storytime podcast hosts, and we have some ancient

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Speaker 1: wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want to

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Speaker 1: hear the wisdom from two old heads that know more

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Speaker 1: than they know what to do with, you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to wait for a quick message from our sponsors for

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Speaker 1: the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 2: My best friend ended our friendship for no reason.

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Speaker 3: Well, trash stick itself out.

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Speaker 2: Probably my best friend of fifteen years ended our friendship

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Speaker 2: for no apparent reason.

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Speaker 4: And it eats me up inside.

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Speaker 2: I'm a female, my best friend male. We're both thirty

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Speaker 2: two now, but he ended our friendship in late twenty nineteen.

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Speaker 2: We'd been best friends since we were thirteen. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from Bright Eyes twenty three.

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Speaker 4: And if you want to submit your own.

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Speaker 2: Stories, go to the our slash Okay Storytime Subredda. I'm Carly,

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Speaker 2: I'm Angie, and we're here to give good advice.

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Speaker 4: Goofully, But we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 2: We only know what we would do, So let us

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Speaker 2: know what you would do in the comments. And Opie

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Speaker 2: says we'd been through so much together over the years.

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Speaker 2: We'd always said we'd right or pass away together, even

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Speaker 2: making a pact to get together aged thirty if no

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Speaker 2: one wanted us. As we got older, we didn't always

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Speaker 2: hang out as much, but when we did it was always.

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Speaker 4: Like old times.

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Speaker 2: We bounced and thrived off each other, or at least

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Speaker 2: I thought we did. When we were thirteen to fifteen,

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Speaker 2: we fooled around a bit with snogging after we'd been

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Speaker 2: drinking a bit, but ultimately I wasn't attracted to him

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Speaker 2: like that, and we definitely made better friends than anything romantic.

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Speaker 2: When I was fifteen and we were really out of

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Speaker 2: our faces, I made embarrassing spicy related advance that he

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Speaker 2: really didn't appreciate. It was embarrassing for both of us

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Speaker 2: the next day, and we filed it away, never to

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Speaker 2: be spoken of. Over the following years, I dated various guys,

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Speaker 2: while he, on the other hand, was a late bloomer

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Speaker 2: and didn't have spicy sleep until late into his twenties.

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Speaker 2: To his current girlfriend, he's an ug but was clearly

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Speaker 2: awkward with other spicy sleep from the age of seventeen plus.

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Speaker 2: He was like my wingman. When we went to pubs

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Speaker 2: and such, people would either assume we were a couple,

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Speaker 2: or assume he.

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Speaker 4: Was my gay best friend.

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Speaker 2: We both seemed happy or not bothered by it in

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Speaker 2: our early twenties.

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Speaker 4: We even roomied together a couple times.

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Speaker 2: It was not spicy related at all, and we both

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Speaker 2: enjoyed living with each other, both reiterating how much we

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Speaker 2: got each other. My first indication that maybe he was

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Speaker 2: bothered by this setup was around twenty fourteen. We were

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Speaker 2: in a house share with a couple of other friends.

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Speaker 4: We went to the.

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Speaker 2: Local pub to play pool, and he got a little wasted.

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Speaker 2: He didn't drink much at this point, and he confessed

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Speaker 2: to me over a game of pool that when we

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Speaker 2: were teenagers, I had broken his heart by not realizing

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Speaker 2: he felt romantic towards me, and said it had taken

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Speaker 2: him years to come.

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Speaker 4: To terms with it.

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Speaker 2: This news took me by surprise. The very next day

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Speaker 2: he made it clear he was embarrassed that he got

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Speaker 2: a loose tongue and clarified just so you know, that

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Speaker 2: was the past and at present you're the furthest thing

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Speaker 2: from what I wanted a girlfriend.

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Speaker 4: Actually, I think you're gross.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, okay, cool, we make such

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Speaker 2: better friends.

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Speaker 4: Anyway, where would I be without you.

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Speaker 2: Brutal honesty was a hallmark of her friendship, so I

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Speaker 2: just took it in stride. In twenty fifteen, I rented

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Speaker 2: a flat near his home and we spent a lot

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Speaker 2: of time together again. One night, on Valentine's Day, I

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Speaker 2: got back to my flat from work and found he

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Speaker 2: had let himself in and set up some Valentine stuff

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Speaker 2: for me, which I found super cute and thoughtful, but

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Speaker 2: bearing in mind, he adamantly told me he wasn't attracted

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Speaker 2: to me. I interpreted it a friendship gesture.

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Speaker 4: It's since been pointed out to me that this was

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Speaker 4: stupid on my part.

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Speaker 2: Around twenty sixteen, we drifted a bit apart. I had

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Speaker 2: quit my job and actually had to live with other

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Speaker 2: friends for a while. He was hanging out with his

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Speaker 2: own workmates, and he had just discovered spicy flower and partying,

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Speaker 2: something I discovered years before but had since stopped.

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Speaker 4: He got really annoyed with me.

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Speaker 2: When I wouldn't sneak out of my friends regularly at

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Speaker 2: two am to do spicy flower with him. I explained

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Speaker 2: I can't do that while living under someone else's roof.

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Speaker 4: He was mad and said, but you love to party.

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Speaker 2: In the past, I suspected he was developing an issue

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Speaker 2: with the party lifestyle of his work pals, but brushed

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Speaker 2: off my concerns. In twenty seventeen, I got into a

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Speaker 2: serious relationship and moved one hundred miles away. He drove

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Speaker 2: down to visit me with housewarming gifts, and he disclosed

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Speaker 2: he had entered into his first proper relationship and was moving.

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Speaker 4: Into hers with her.

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Speaker 2: The new city didn't work out for me, and by

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Speaker 2: twenty eighteen I moved back to my hometown with my partner,

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Speaker 2: and me and bestie reconnected again.

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Speaker 4: He came round to mine.

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Speaker 2: To visit and disclose some relationship issues he was having.

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Speaker 2: We both laughed and joked over the ups and downs

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Speaker 2: of both our relationships. He disclosed that his girl friend

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Speaker 2: had control issues and she wouldn't allow friends to visit

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Speaker 2: them at all. She had snubbed her invite to my house. Also,

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Speaker 2: he was adamant she wouldn't control him. He also told

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Speaker 2: me she didn't really like me, as he told her

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Speaker 2: every gory detail of our friendship, even the embarrassing spicy

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Speaker 2: related thing I thought we'd.

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Speaker 4: Both forgot to see.

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Speaker 2: And this is his first relationship though, But buddy, good

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Speaker 2: for being open about it. Sure, sometimes you don't need

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Speaker 2: to be so open about it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it could really ask I guess, Yeah, it could

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Speaker 3: be like a just letting you know, but like yeah,

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Speaker 3: but like also her reaction is like definitely not the best,

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Speaker 3: so beware my guy please.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I personally would be uncomfortable if my boyfriend went

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Speaker 2: to visit someone one hundred miles away whom he had

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Speaker 2: prior to deep feelings for.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true because it said that her like behavior

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Speaker 3: a little controlling. Did we get the exact No, just that.

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Speaker 4: It was controlling.

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Speaker 2: She didn't want to go God, he was like, I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna go anyway.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, because I guess depending on what her exact

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Speaker 3: reactions were then.

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Speaker 2: Maybe not actually controlling, maybe just like why.

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Speaker 4: Are you going to visit your exit? Yeah, it was

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Speaker 4: just like.

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Speaker 3: Hey, no, weired about this, and he's God, you're so

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Speaker 3: good drug Yeah yeah, yeah, any details.

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Speaker 2: I scolded him and told him, you've got a female

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Speaker 2: best friend and neither of us feel romantically towards each other.

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Speaker 4: You should never have shared those details.

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Speaker 2: Also, the fact that I'm a female will make her uncomfortable,

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Speaker 2: and I want to get to know her, so she

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Speaker 2: knows she has nothing to worry about. By twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 2: he was clearly very depressed. When me and my partner

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Speaker 2: went to visit him at a pub he was working at.

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Speaker 2: He disclosed he was raising his girlfriend's son from a

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Speaker 2: previous relationship, but she was adamant she didn't want more,

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Speaker 2: which he found devastating. I hooked him up with a

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Speaker 2: new job at a new pub, hoping this might cheer

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Speaker 2: him up. He even took me on a road trip

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Speaker 2: to take care of some business as he drives and

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Speaker 2: I don't. She was aggressively blowing up his phone the

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Speaker 2: whole time, and I said.

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Speaker 4: Please answer her.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to be blamed for this, and he

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Speaker 2: was like, nah, she's being nuts, controlling and unhinged.

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Speaker 4: Let's just enjoy the trip.

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Speaker 2: From what I could glimpse on the messages, she relied

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Speaker 2: heavily on emotional blackmail, clearly mental health issues. Whatev's not

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Speaker 2: my business. This is how I resigned myself. A couple

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Speaker 2: of months later, they babysat my new daughter for me

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Speaker 2: once I was so pleased we had seemingly reached.

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Speaker 4: A turning point.

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Speaker 2: They were both then invited to my birthday drinks late

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Speaker 2: twenty nineteen. He said he was coming, but she wasn't

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Speaker 2: what we feeling.

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Speaker 3: I feel like, if he is calling her all of

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Speaker 3: these things, but like controlling and like overbearing and overreacting

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Speaker 3: all that kind of stuff, I feel like he just

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Speaker 3: doesn't want to be in the relationship with Herrea.

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Speaker 4: Doesn't sound like he does.

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Speaker 2: And I do kind of wonder, like if this girlfriend

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Speaker 2: is just kind of like, Hey, you're hanging out with

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Speaker 2: this girl that you admitted that you had, like a

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Speaker 2: crushed with a lot.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's like I feel like I would understand.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm with a being like very smart of you

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Speaker 2: to be like, no answer her, like be the reason

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Speaker 2: for this answer her. When me and my partner picked

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Speaker 2: him up to meet our other friends at the pub,

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Speaker 2: he looked depressed, baked, and grumpy. I assumed he was

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Speaker 2: so baked he would come to life later on throughout

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Speaker 2: the night, he didn't. Whilst I was at the bar

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Speaker 2: getting drinks in, I returned to our table to learn

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Speaker 2: he had stormed out without a word to any of

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Speaker 2: our mutual friends.

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Speaker 4: I searched the streets for him.

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Speaker 2: I called him nothing. His phone rang out for a month.

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Speaker 2: After a month, he finally texted me and said, isn't

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Speaker 2: it obvious? I hate you? Why can't you get the message?

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Speaker 2: And that was the last communication we ever had. I

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Speaker 2: genuinely felt like a lost limb, and the lack of

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Speaker 2: closure haunts me so so much. I don't think the

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Speaker 2: love I had for him will ever disappear.

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Speaker 4: We have some comments.

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Speaker 2: Comment to one, he obviously has been in love with

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Speaker 2: you forever and has never been able to come to

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Speaker 2: terms with it. Now, he's in an aweful relationship, looking

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Speaker 2: after a kid that isn't his, in a job he

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Speaker 2: hates and had to rely on you to get him

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Speaker 2: a new one, having adult beverages and taking substances, all

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Speaker 2: while he sees you happy, having children and likely having

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Speaker 2: the life that he always wanted with you as his partner.

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Speaker 2: It might not be worth it, and maybe it's too

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Speaker 2: late now, but a good message to him might be

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Speaker 2: I don't know why, but I've been thinking about you

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Speaker 2: a lot recently and I really miss you. I still

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Speaker 2: don't really understand what happened, but I feel like I

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Speaker 2: have hurt you in some way. I really want to

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Speaker 2: apologize for any hurt that I may have caused you,

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Speaker 2: as it was never ever intentional. I hope you're doing well,

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Speaker 2: and I understand if you still need your space. I'm

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Speaker 2: not expecting a reply. I wish you all the best.

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Speaker 2: Opie responds, thank you for your reply. Since my current

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Speaker 2: partner pointed out Valentine's Day should have been an obvious

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Speaker 2: indication he liked me romantically, it has been nagging at

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Speaker 2: the back of my mind that he he might have

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Speaker 2: actually been in love with me, but with him telling

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Speaker 2: me repeatedly he doesn't like me like that, and since

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Speaker 2: his girlfriend is quite obviously much prettier than I, don't

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Speaker 2: say that I'll pay. Yeah, God, I didn't want to

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Speaker 2: make any assumptions. My own relationship was far from perfect.

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Speaker 2: I actually broke up with that partner late twenty twenty,

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Speaker 2: and I desperately needed the emotional support from my friend,

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Speaker 2: who'd already cut me off. At that point, I did

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Speaker 2: desperately want to reach out and tell him we go

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Speaker 2: ahead with our plan aged thirty.

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Speaker 4: I'd happily have.

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Speaker 2: His babies, but I decided against it as it would

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Speaker 2: be inappropriate while he's with his girlfriend.

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Speaker 3: Smart.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think you should reach out to that

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Speaker 4: guy ever. Again. I let that lie where it is.

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Speaker 4: I really agree.

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Speaker 2: I am now in a new relationship two years in

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Speaker 2: and two hundred and fifty miles away. I heard through

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Speaker 2: the grapevine he works in a prison now. He asked

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Speaker 2: my mom about me once last year, and he still

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Speaker 2: has no kids of his own. I would sacrifice a

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Speaker 2: lot to have.

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Speaker 4: Him in my life again. And that is the end

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Speaker 4: of that story.

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Speaker 3: My best friend lied to me, and I think it's

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Speaker 3: because of her fiance.

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Speaker 4: What did her fiance do?

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Speaker 3: My twenty three female best friend from middle school twenty

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Speaker 3: five female has been acting a little strange lately. For backstory.

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Speaker 3: Post high school, we went to different colleges and she

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Speaker 3: stayed in the area, whereas I moved to a bigger

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Speaker 3: city in our state in order to go to the

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Speaker 3: college that I was attending. We have both graduated since

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Speaker 3: and have jobs. I just graduated this year and I

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Speaker 3: personally really hit my stride once I found a great

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Speaker 3: group of friends in college. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 3: from Wisdom Seeker zero and if you want to submit

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Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime,

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Speaker 3: Separate it and I'm Angie, I'm Carlin, and we're here

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Speaker 3: to give good advice. Goofy, but we don't have all

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Speaker 3: the answers. We're just gonna guess what we would do

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Speaker 3: in this situation. But let us know what you would

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Speaker 3: do in the comments. So Opie says, I used to

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Speaker 3: be a very isolated person, but I forced myself to

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Speaker 3: start doing things with my friend group since I knew

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Speaker 3: it would be great for my mental health. I love

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Speaker 3: my friends, and I'm a much more outgoing person because

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Speaker 3: of them. I came out of my shawl a lot,

265
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Speaker 3: but at the end of the day, I am still

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Speaker 3: the same person from high school, just with some more confidence.

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Speaker 3: My friend has also had some big changes in her life.

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Speaker 3: She also found a friend group in college, though it

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Speaker 3: doesn't seem like she hung out with them as much

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Speaker 3: or to the extent that I do with my friends.

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Speaker 3: She also has a fiance now, someone who I've met

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Speaker 3: on a couple of occasions. This guy was her very

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Speaker 3: first boyfriend. She didn't start dating until she was around

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Speaker 3: twenty two or twenty three. He's about three years older

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Speaker 3: than her and has some major family issues, something that

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Speaker 3: I always saw as a red flag. Since my friend

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Speaker 3: is a very family oriented person, I couldn't see that

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Speaker 3: being something that she would want in a partner. I

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Speaker 3: expressed this to her when they first started dating, when

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Speaker 3: she was ranting to me about his family. However, since then,

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Speaker 3: she seems very happy with him, and I haven't said

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Speaker 3: anything about it since. I still feel a little bit

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Speaker 3: off about the guy for some reason, but it's just

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Speaker 3: a weird gut feeling. At the end of the day.

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Speaker 3: He has never done anything that would make me think

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Speaker 3: he's a bad person. It just sounds like he doesn't

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00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,200
Speaker 3: have the best family, which is not his fault at all.

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Speaker 3: To me, my friend is still the same person, just

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Speaker 3: with different stressors in life. She's always been a very

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Speaker 3: introverted person, but would come out for Chelle to do

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Speaker 3: fun things with me that she would otherwise not do

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Speaker 3: by herself. I would imagine she has also come out

293
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Speaker 3: of her Shechelle to do fun things with her fiance too.

294
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Speaker 3: As I know, she has traveled with him to his

295
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Speaker 3: home stayed a few times just the two of them.

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Speaker 3: We always made it a priority to hang out at

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Speaker 3: an event we would always go to together, which happens

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Speaker 3: once a year in our hometown. We have not missed

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Speaker 3: a year as far as I know, and this summer

300
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:25,160
Speaker 3: was no exception. I always have such a fun time

301
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Speaker 3: hanging out with her, and I feel that she has

302
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Speaker 3: a good time as well. I told her that she

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00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,080
Speaker 3: should come to my college town I now live in

304
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Speaker 3: the area, since I love the community so much and

305
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Speaker 3: hang out with my friends sometime. She'd always tell me

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Speaker 3: that she would want to sometimes, but I always heard

307
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Speaker 3: a slight bit of hesitation in her voice. I'm not

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Speaker 3: sure if it's because she doesn't think she'd like my

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Speaker 3: friends or is too nervous to meet them. My friends

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Speaker 3: are a lot of fun to hang out with at

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Speaker 3: the bar, and when mentioning this to her, I get.

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Speaker 4: Sense that was not something.

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Speaker 3: That she wanted to do. I also told her sometimes

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Speaker 3: we hang out at a random friend's house, have fun,

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Speaker 3: play games, and with that I sensed less hesitation from her.

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Speaker 3: I just don't think she's into the bars. At the

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Speaker 3: event we went to this year, she also said we

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Speaker 3: should hang out anytime I'm in town, and we have

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00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,280
Speaker 3: done so once since then. I feel like I'm always

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Speaker 3: the one making plans, but it has always been that

321
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Speaker 3: way in our friendship. Okay, so now on to the story.

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Speaker 3: I mentioned to my friend that we should go to

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Speaker 3: a football game together this year at my college. She

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00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:22,360
Speaker 3: seemed to actually be really into the idea. Her father

325
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,960
Speaker 3: graduated from the same school I went to. She also

326
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:26,920
Speaker 3: mentioned that maybe he would like to go as well,

327
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Speaker 3: and I of course so that he's more than welcome

328
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Speaker 3: to join us and any of her other family that

329
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,840
Speaker 3: would want to go as well. I always have a

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Speaker 3: lot of fun to hang out with her family. She

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00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,560
Speaker 3: said she would love to go, and then it sounds

332
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,080
Speaker 3: like a super fun idea. I texted her the details

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00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,240
Speaker 3: about games that were coming up, and she would always

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00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,040
Speaker 3: tell me that she would get back with me on

335
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,440
Speaker 3: which game she could go to, but never got back

336
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,880
Speaker 3: to me. I sent a text reminding her and she

337
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,760
Speaker 3: said and she again said that she would get back

338
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:54,400
Speaker 3: to me. However, still nothing. My mom was planning on

339
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:57,240
Speaker 3: going to the big rivalry game my college was hosting,

340
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:59,600
Speaker 3: as we usually go together and it's been a tradition

341
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:02,920
Speaker 3: for the power two years. However, my dad's heart surgery

342
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,680
Speaker 3: was scheduled for the day before the game yikes, and

343
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,720
Speaker 3: my mom decided that she didn't want to go since

344
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,480
Speaker 3: she wanted to take care of my dad. Totally makes sense.

345
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,680
Speaker 3: My dad has hard heart surgery in the past, but

346
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,800
Speaker 3: this one was a very minor procedure, so it wasn't

347
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,120
Speaker 3: anything super serious that I felt that I needed to

348
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,120
Speaker 3: be around to help. My mom did feel bad, though,

349
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,320
Speaker 3: that we couldn't do our tradition this year, and offered

350
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:22,680
Speaker 3: to pay for me and my best friend to go.

351
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,480
Speaker 3: I was so excited to tell my friend for context,

352
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:28,040
Speaker 3: she did not know about my dad's heart procedure. I

353
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:29,560
Speaker 3: had a big plan in my head of how the

354
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,960
Speaker 3: day would go and how perfect it would be. I

355
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,400
Speaker 3: had some friends that were tailgating, and I would have

356
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,120
Speaker 3: loved to introduce them to my best friend. I texted

357
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,240
Speaker 3: her that my mom would pay for our tickets to go,

358
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,360
Speaker 3: and asked if she had anything planned for that day

359
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,480
Speaker 3: that could interfere with her going. She told me that

360
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,160
Speaker 3: she doesn't like going to places with big crowds anymore

361
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,720
Speaker 3: and that she would have to decline my offer. My

362
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,560
Speaker 3: jaw hit the floor when I saw her message. We

363
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:54,960
Speaker 3: used to go to concerts in massive venues together as

364
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,800
Speaker 3: recently as three years ago. Three years is a long time,

365
00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:58,840
Speaker 3: that's true.

366
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,960
Speaker 2: I'm just kind of like, is this person your best friend?

367
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:02,920
Speaker 4: That's what I'm feeling.

368
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,720
Speaker 3: I think she might be yours, right, Yeah, because I'm

369
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,760
Speaker 3: I'm kind of wondering, like, okay, well if they went

370
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,240
Speaker 3: to different colleges.

371
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,520
Speaker 4: Like she like moved on, Yeah, like maybe she moved on.

372
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,680
Speaker 3: I was wondering if like maybe something happened where like

373
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:20,240
Speaker 3: she adds a bad relationship with alcohol or something, or

374
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,040
Speaker 3: like something happened where she doesn't like big crowds anymore.

375
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,680
Speaker 3: But at the same time, like they have had like

376
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,560
Speaker 3: a yearly tradition, so that at least there's hanging out

377
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:31,720
Speaker 3: once a year, right, doing that like music festival or

378
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:32,440
Speaker 3: whatever they went to.

379
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:33,120
Speaker 4: Yeah.

380
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,720
Speaker 3: True, So yeah, I don't know. Maybe maybe the other

381
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,000
Speaker 3: friend is just not as committed as OP is.

382
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:40,400
Speaker 4: It's unfortunate.

383
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,040
Speaker 3: Sorry, girl. I didn't push it and basically said that

384
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,280
Speaker 3: I understood, and she told me that I should go

385
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,120
Speaker 3: with someone who would enjoy themselves more. I didn't really

386
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,840
Speaker 3: know what to respond to that with. I said, I

387
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,240
Speaker 3: might tailgate, but we'll see what I could do. All

388
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,520
Speaker 3: my college friends already had planned since it's the big

389
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,440
Speaker 3: rivalry game, so I had no one to go with.

390
00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,000
Speaker 3: I was planning on getting a ticket and going by myself,

391
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,480
Speaker 3: but it ended up being a night game, and I

392
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,760
Speaker 3: always feel nervous going out alone as a woman at night.

393
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,639
Speaker 3: I ended up coming home to watch the game with

394
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,680
Speaker 3: my parents. It was fun, but I was really sad

395
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,520
Speaker 3: that I couldn't have been there at the game. I

396
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:12,280
Speaker 3: am ninety nine percent positive that my friend is lying

397
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,080
Speaker 3: to me and that there was a different reason as

398
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,359
Speaker 3: to why she couldn't come or why she didn't want

399
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,840
Speaker 3: to come. I have a few theories as to what

400
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:23,200
Speaker 3: could have happened. I have them listed below from least

401
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:26,840
Speaker 3: likely to most likely. Fiance is making choices for her.

402
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,720
Speaker 3: Perhaps this one I don't believe is the most likely,

403
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,879
Speaker 3: and I hope to God it's not happening. There was

404
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,919
Speaker 3: a weird instance where at one of the times my

405
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,160
Speaker 3: friend and I hung out, he started calling her phone

406
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,800
Speaker 3: and asking where she was. She told him that she

407
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,320
Speaker 3: was hanging out with me. She was confused and shortly

408
00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:43,439
Speaker 3: after ended the call. We ended up going to a

409
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,520
Speaker 3: location to eat food, and he ended up showing up

410
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:48,399
Speaker 3: as a quote surprise to my friend. At the time,

411
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:51,080
Speaker 3: the situation didn't feel weird, but looking back, maybe it

412
00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:53,360
Speaker 3: was a red flag. I am also personally a big

413
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,560
Speaker 3: believer that someone's first relationship usually is not their last one.

414
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:59,639
Speaker 3: With my friend already being engaged in her first ever relationship,

415
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,000
Speaker 3: I just hope that she's not rushing into things. I

416
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,359
Speaker 3: know far too many people who get divorced after they

417
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,080
Speaker 3: marry their first relationship and first love. I do know

418
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,560
Speaker 3: sometimes these relationships can work out, and I really hope

419
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,880
Speaker 3: my friend is one of those cases if she does

420
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:15,639
Speaker 3: end up marrying him. Another reason would be for some reason,

421
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,840
Speaker 3: she doesn't want to come down to my college town

422
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:20,880
Speaker 3: as she has hesitated in the past. Maybe she knew

423
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,560
Speaker 3: there was a chance that she could meet one of

424
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,080
Speaker 3: my friends. Maybe she just doesn't feel comfortable in a

425
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,600
Speaker 3: place that I'm really familiar with. This one doesn't make

426
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,560
Speaker 3: a lot of sense to me either. Another reason could

427
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,520
Speaker 3: be she had other plans and didn't want to tell

428
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:35,399
Speaker 3: me the real reason. She also might have not wanted

429
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,479
Speaker 3: to go to the game without a quote adult. What

430
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,679
Speaker 3: this to me is the most likely reason. We have

431
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,120
Speaker 3: gone to a few concerts before, but we've always had

432
00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:47,000
Speaker 3: one of our parents there with us, as we had

433
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,119
Speaker 3: gone to big cities we are not familiar with. But

434
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,840
Speaker 3: we're in our twenties now and we were going to

435
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,959
Speaker 3: a stadium that I've been to before and going to

436
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,639
Speaker 3: a campus that I went to every day for years.

437
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,760
Speaker 3: It's not like we need an adult with us at

438
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:00,920
Speaker 3: all times to go and have fun at a football game. Yeah,

439
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,639
Speaker 3: you guys aren't children. But is this why she wanted

440
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:06,639
Speaker 3: to bring her dad so we could have a quote

441
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,520
Speaker 3: adult with us for some reason? But there is a

442
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:10,879
Speaker 3: little bit more to the story.

443
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:14,200
Speaker 2: But I'm just overall a little confused by this one,

444
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,280
Speaker 2: Like it kind of feels like you guys just drifted

445
00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:19,159
Speaker 2: and it is Yeah, it's unfortunate and really sad.

446
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just kind of like this is weird.

447
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:23,640
Speaker 4: I feel like it's the fiance.

448
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,719
Speaker 3: I feel like that definitely could be a factor, but

449
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,560
Speaker 3: we just simply don't have enough info. But yeah, yeah,

450
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,480
Speaker 3: I think I think you're right. Like I think more

451
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,800
Speaker 3: than anything, they probably have just drifted. And I mean,

452
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,680
Speaker 3: like you said, you have a good, solid friend group

453
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,640
Speaker 3: that you found in college, she has a solid friend

454
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,280
Speaker 3: group that she found in college. I think that it's

455
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,160
Speaker 3: just kind of you know, they maybe you don't maybe

456
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:50,280
Speaker 3: didn't have time to water your relationship a bit, you know,

457
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,359
Speaker 3: and focus on that. But there is a little bit

458
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,320
Speaker 3: more to the story.

459
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:55,080
Speaker 4: Let's hear it.

460
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,080
Speaker 3: If anyone could shed light onto the situation, I would

461
00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:00,320
Speaker 3: be very thankful. I've talked to both my college friends

462
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:02,320
Speaker 3: and parents about the situation, and they both agree that

463
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:04,680
Speaker 3: it's very weird that she likely lied to me. Why

464
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,359
Speaker 3: would she tell me that she'd love to go to

465
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,280
Speaker 3: a game and then switch up on me a month later.

466
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,640
Speaker 3: I'm angry, but mostly really sad that she didn't want

467
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 3: to go and that she probably lied to me about

468
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,520
Speaker 3: her reasoning. I'm not sure about the next time I

469
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,240
Speaker 3: will see her in person, but when I do, or

470
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,520
Speaker 3: if she brings it up in text, I will give

471
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,520
Speaker 3: you guys an update. I'm just having a hard time

472
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,240
Speaker 3: wrapping my head around this situation, and unfortunately we don't

473
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:27,199
Speaker 3: get that update. Wow, and that's the end of this story.

474
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:28,600
Speaker 3: We're going on to the next one.

475
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 2: I was blamed for my best friend's breakup.

476
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,119
Speaker 4: And it cost me my job.

477
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 5: That's not good.

478
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,840
Speaker 2: So I twenty five female, was in a new city

479
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:43,479
Speaker 2: with a new job. I quickly became besties with Maria

480
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:47,200
Speaker 2: twenty three female, but not so much with her boyfriend,

481
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:51,920
Speaker 2: the everyone likes him funny guy Felix twenty seven male.

482
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,399
Speaker 2: They set me up with Felix's best friend Paul twenty

483
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,800
Speaker 2: seven male, and we were dating for a couple of.

484
00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 4: Weeks when everything went down.

485
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,359
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from a deleted user, and

486
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 2: if you want us to make your own stories, go

487
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:07,520
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay storytime Subreddy. I'm Carly, I'm Angie,

488
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,200
Speaker 2: and we're here to give good advice.

489
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 4: Goofully, But we don't have all the answers.

490
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:13,439
Speaker 2: We only know what we would do, So let us

491
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,280
Speaker 2: know what you would do in the comments, as Opie says. So,

492
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,240
Speaker 2: we were at work and Felix told me about something

493
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,640
Speaker 2: new he and Maria were trying in bed. I didn't

494
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,639
Speaker 2: think it was weird because people here are kind of open,

495
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:29,439
Speaker 2: but a coworker and friend of both overheard Felix and

496
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,639
Speaker 2: told him to shut up because Maria might want it

497
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:36,320
Speaker 2: to be private. Felix got defensive, saying that he knows

498
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 2: his girlfriend and isn't a bad boyfriend. Later that night,

499
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,400
Speaker 2: Maria and I were hanging out and she was all

500
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:46,200
Speaker 2: giggly talking about that same thing. I just went, yeah,

501
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,720
Speaker 2: Felix told me, that's really nice.

502
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:49,639
Speaker 4: She froze.

503
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,400
Speaker 2: Turns out she didn't want anyone to know I felt

504
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:56,119
Speaker 2: bad for her, told her Felix didn't mean any harm,

505
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 2: but I was honest that the coworker heard and knew.

506
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,359
Speaker 2: Maria said she'd talked to Felix, and I thought that

507
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,919
Speaker 2: was the end of it, but after the talk, she

508
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:08,399
Speaker 2: called to tell me Felix was mad at me. The

509
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:11,399
Speaker 2: next morning, Felix texted me that we will have to

510
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,960
Speaker 2: talk today. I cleared the conversation with Maria beforehand, as

511
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 2: she told me about other issues she was waiting to

512
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 2: share with him when he was in a better mood,

513
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 2: and I didn't want to talk to Felix about something

514
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:27,119
Speaker 2: she hadn't yet brought up. Also, Felix's ex once called

515
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 2: the cops on him because he refused to leave her

516
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:33,560
Speaker 2: yard without a talk. He said she was crazy and

517
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 2: hated him because he's a straight, CIS white male. But

518
00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 2: even if that's true, I preferred to be safe rather

519
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,960
Speaker 2: than sorry. He hated that I talked to Maria, saying

520
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,720
Speaker 2: it was between us. We met up afterwards and he

521
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:51,359
Speaker 2: basically lectured me for poisoning her and bringing my insecurities

522
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:55,240
Speaker 2: into their relationship. He said he shared something vulnerable for

523
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:58,399
Speaker 2: us to get closer, and I broke his trust. I

524
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 2: told him Maria can think for her and if she's mad,

525
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 2: that's on him, not me. He responded that it's exactly

526
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 2: what Maria told him, proving I fed her the lies.

527
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,680
Speaker 4: He then told me not to talk.

528
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,200
Speaker 2: To her about what he does and about our conversation.

529
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:17,560
Speaker 2: I said it was controlling, and he got mad. He left,

530
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,840
Speaker 2: saying he felt watched and couldn't reason with me, so

531
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:25,639
Speaker 2: he gave up. After that, he stopped touching Maria, saying

532
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 2: he felt judged by me. They broke up soon after,

533
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:32,959
Speaker 2: and Peel explained me openly for us.

534
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 5: Sure.

535
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 2: He started slamming stuff at work, ignoring me, which was

536
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 2: hard because we have to communicate for work, and told

537
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:46,399
Speaker 2: everyone I poisoned Maria against him. I asked coworkers to

538
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,400
Speaker 2: be witnesses to file a complaint, but they said everyone

539
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:53,520
Speaker 2: knows he cannot handle his emotions. Anne has anger issues,

540
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 2: but I don't, so I should be the bigger person

541
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 2: and apologize for breaking them up and getting involved in

542
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 2: a relationship that I had nothing to do with. I

543
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:05,119
Speaker 2: didn't apologize because it's against my values to enable that

544
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:08,600
Speaker 2: kind of behavior, and because Paul and Maria agreed I

545
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:12,199
Speaker 2: did nothing wrong and shouldn't apologize. One day, I was

546
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:15,879
Speaker 2: talking to Maria about my bedroom so whispering, and he

547
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:19,400
Speaker 2: assumed we were talking about him. We weren't, since we

548
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 2: were banned from talking about it at work. He snapped

549
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 2: and yelled two inches from my face, fist rays and

550
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 2: finally got reported. Until then, Paul had been trying to mediate,

551
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,159
Speaker 2: but after that he confronted him. Felix said, Paul chose

552
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,160
Speaker 2: my side, so Felix cut him off just like that,

553
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:40,199
Speaker 2: ending a twenty plus year friendship. He also warned new

554
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 2: hires against me, but I couldn't do anything because new

555
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 2: hires were scared Felix would treat them the same way

556
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:50,159
Speaker 2: he treated me. I kept reporting him for slamming things,

557
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:55,160
Speaker 2: ignoring me, sending unprofessional texts, and making work impossible, but everyone,

558
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,479
Speaker 2: including the bosses, grew tired. It had been seven to

559
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,440
Speaker 2: eight months since the incident, saying I ruined his life

560
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 2: enough as it was. He told everyone I made Paul

561
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:07,439
Speaker 2: stop talking to him. They said I shouldn't have meddled

562
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,360
Speaker 2: in a relationship I wasn't in and should just leave

563
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:13,880
Speaker 2: him alone. Later, Felix quit his job because every time

564
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:15,400
Speaker 2: Maria and I talked happily.

565
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 4: He assumed it was about him.

566
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 2: And he'd start slamming things again, so I'd report it, etc.

567
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,639
Speaker 2: To be clear, he was my supervisor, close friends with

568
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 2: all the bosses, and the star salesman of the place.

569
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,200
Speaker 2: I could not have mistreated power or made his job

570
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:33,200
Speaker 2: hard even if I wanted to. I'm really good at

571
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 2: compartmentalizing my emotions and would act professional, even offering to

572
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 2: help him if he needed, like I'd do with any

573
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,119
Speaker 2: other colleague. I do think me being okay and looking

574
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 2: unaffected pissed him off, though, but I also know if

575
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 2: I didn't act that way, I would have gotten in

576
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 2: trouble at work.

577
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 4: Now everyone still.

578
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:55,120
Speaker 2: Thinks I ruined his life for was really into the drama.

579
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 2: I even had supervisors disregarding harmful clients because everybody knows

580
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,160
Speaker 2: I'm dramatic and sensitive or looking for trouble, so they

581
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:07,639
Speaker 2: assumed I exaggerated. I always felt isolated at work because

582
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 2: everyone kept saying how I ruined his life, or updating

583
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 2: me teasing me that Paul would probably go back to

584
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:17,160
Speaker 2: him the second we broke up. So I also quit

585
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 2: that job at the first opportunity I got, Thank God.

586
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, This is just crazy.

587
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,399
Speaker 2: Should I have just apologized or moved on? I don't

588
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,080
Speaker 2: feel like an a hole, but an a hole rarely does.

589
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,440
Speaker 2: And the fact that they kept in touch with him

590
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,399
Speaker 2: but not me makes me think I might want to

591
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:35,439
Speaker 2: reconsider No, because they all sound like a holes.

592
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, like, I think it's everyone here.

593
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 4: Right, it's except for you? Yeah, except for you and Maria.

594
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:41,400
Speaker 3: Yeah.

595
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,760
Speaker 4: It's like the fact that you're worried that you're the

596
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 4: a hole.

597
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:46,640
Speaker 3: Come on, dude, Yeah, Like, I feel like that.

598
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 4: Is very telling.

599
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:51,200
Speaker 2: I don't think that Felix is worried that he yeah,

600
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 2: like was rude when he was.

601
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:54,440
Speaker 3: Yeah.

602
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,239
Speaker 2: I can't understand if I'm not the a hole and

603
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 2: I did, right, how come I lost a job, friend

604
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,280
Speaker 2: and my boyfriend doesn't have his childhood friend anymore. Out come,

605
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 2: everyone is so chill around him and resents me. Also,

606
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 2: I don't think you lost your job because of it.

607
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:10,440
Speaker 2: You quit because they all suck.

608
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 6: Yeah.

609
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:14,480
Speaker 3: I think it really just like showed you how sucky

610
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:17,680
Speaker 3: these people are. And then yeah, you chose to leave. Yeah,

611
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,760
Speaker 3: FIRS was good for you. That was in sanity of

612
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,080
Speaker 3: your better judgment for sure.

613
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:26,199
Speaker 2: Comments Comment one, This job sounds so sickly toxic. I

614
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,880
Speaker 2: definitely don't think you are the ahole whatsoever. Sometimes when

615
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 2: people do good things, they receive bad consequences, but that

616
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:37,119
Speaker 2: should never stop you from being a good person. This

617
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 2: Felix guy is toxic as heck and sounds like a

618
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 2: dangerous person. You don't want to work for people who

619
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 2: protect their friends over everything else and don't even care

620
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 2: about the safety of their workers. How foul and shameful

621
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:53,359
Speaker 2: on their end. I'm glad Maria and your boyfriend have

622
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:56,760
Speaker 2: at least a shred of common sense. Although all this

623
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 2: will hurt for a while. In the end, you need

624
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 2: to be happy that you don't have dangerous and toxic

625
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 2: people in your life anymore.

626
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 4: OPI responds. The reason I.

627
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 2: Still doubt is because the bosses are incredibly amazing.

628
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 4: To like everyone.

629
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 2: People stay there. Many people say they're the best bosses ever.

630
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 2: Like that dude, everyone loved him. I feel like I'm

631
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:20,440
Speaker 2: missing something, But you might be right that doing good doesn't.

632
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:21,360
Speaker 4: Equal good outcome.

633
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 2: Thanks for your input, someone replies, see, but that is

634
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 2: the issue. Bosses which everyone loves usually just means bosses

635
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,639
Speaker 2: who cover a hoerendous bus. They allow this type of

636
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 2: behavior for so long and did not even try to

637
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:38,160
Speaker 2: switch his department or anything. To be honest, I would

638
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,160
Speaker 2: grab a copy of every single complaint you made and

639
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 2: then send them.

640
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,280
Speaker 4: To whatever workers board.

641
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 2: You have in your country or state to review. Well

642
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 2: after you have lined yourself up a new job, of course,

643
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 2: because it is not gonna end well, but hopefully the

644
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 2: job will be better for people afterwards. Opie responds, I've

645
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 2: already quit the furthest the bosses went was making sure

646
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,440
Speaker 2: we did not work together often, which resulted in my

647
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 2: having less hours because of his seniority. I don't have

648
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 2: any paper trails except for the text requests to meet

649
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 2: with the bosses. During those meetings, they told me they'd

650
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 2: contact workers norm to see what to do, and would

651
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 2: issue a written warning to both parties for paper trail.

652
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 4: Never heard about it again, and they'd act really.

653
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 2: Uninterested and board when I'd mention or ask about it.

654
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like it is it hard to

655
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 3: just ignore these people because if you quit your job

656
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:30,720
Speaker 3: and you're like away from it already, I mean like

657
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 3: I feel like that's all you can do. I feel

658
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 3: like that solves the problem.

659
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 2: No, Yeah, like, yeah, I feel like it's been handled

660
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 2: right like, I don't think you got it.

661
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 4: Sounds like Felix is a little cuckoo.

662
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 3: Yep, for sure.

663
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 4: We haven't edit.

664
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 2: Since there were questions asked on the first post, I'll

665
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 2: answer those now. I made sure to be vague about

666
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 2: the place because in my city it's a known business,

667
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:54,880
Speaker 2: but it's not an office or HR job. It's a small,

668
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:58,680
Speaker 2: locally owned business with a discord group, and the bosses

669
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 2: often invite employees for tabletop game nights or gaming sessions together. Also,

670
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 2: the coworkers seem really harsh and rude, and it was hurtful.

671
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 2: But to their defense, Felix told them what he's convinced happened.

672
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 2: That I told Maria that he is a bad boyfriend

673
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,720
Speaker 2: and exposed her bedroom life on purpose, rather than how

674
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 2: it actually happened.

675
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 4: I learned this because people made.

676
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 2: Comments like, yeah, but you shouldn't have accused him, And

677
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 2: when I told my side, they say everyone's minds were

678
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 2: already made up. Hearing the other perspective, weeks later became

679
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 2: a he said, she said story. They decided to stay

680
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 2: neutral and out of it and told me to do

681
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 2: the same, and that is the end of that story.

682
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 5: Sam here we're.

683
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 1: Gonna get back to the stories, but here's three of

684
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 1: bus bads from our sponsors.

685
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 5: I hate tattoos and my fiance got one in the

686
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 5: worst place possible forehead buttthead, butthead I Mayo thirty one.

687
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 5: Don't like tattoos. I don't think you're special for having one.

688
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 5: I don't think you're a deep person for getting a

689
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 5: random Chinese character on your skin. And I especially don't

690
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 5: like those intricate, big tattoos that cover a lot of skin.

691
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:04,520
Speaker 5: I just don't like them.

692
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 6: That's kind of that's kind of rude.

693
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from muser dial like Philosopher,

694
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 5: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

695
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 5: to our slash Okay storytime. STU about it. I'm Dakota,

696
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 5: I'm Keon, and we're here to give you a good

697
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 5: advice goofy. But we don't have all the answers. We

698
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 5: only know what we'd do, and if you'd do something different,

699
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 5: let us know in the comments. And Nop says, having

700
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:25,520
Speaker 5: said that, I have friends who have all of the above,

701
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 5: and that's fine. It's not on my skin, doesn't bother me.

702
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 5: No skin off my back. As long as we can

703
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 5: talk about anything else. It's all fine. Enter my soon

704
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 5: to be wife.

705
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:37,200
Speaker 6: Want me to enter your soon to be wife?

706
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 5: Thirty females.

707
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 6: Oh no, I don't think I want to do that.

708
00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:43,520
Speaker 5: We've been together for five years. She's painfully aware of

709
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:45,719
Speaker 5: my feelings, but she still wanted to have a tattoo

710
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 5: before we marry, a symbol of us to carry with her.

711
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 5: I didn't really like the idea, but what can I

712
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 5: really do? I love her and what harm could a

713
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:55,520
Speaker 5: tattoo do. We talked about where she should have it done,

714
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 5: and the back of the wrist came as a suggestion,

715
00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:01,560
Speaker 5: the shoulder, her leg or her back, rampstamp, et cetera.

716
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 5: She goes and has it done, and I can't be

717
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 5: there with her because I have an important client visiting

718
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 5: at work and time off is impossible. She text me

719
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 5: during work, tells me it's done and that she loves me.

720
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 5: I ask for a picture of the end result, and

721
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 5: she tells me tonight it will be a surprise. So okay,

722
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 5: so funny. So I finally get home. She's dawled up,

723
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 5: super tight black dress, stockings, everything for a night of fun.

724
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 5: She tells me to go have a shower and she'll

725
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 5: have dinner ready in the meantime.

726
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 6: What okay, why are we actually like this? Tattoos like

727
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 6: a brand new car. That's weird.

728
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 5: It feels like the wrong order of Yeah today, show

729
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,320
Speaker 5: up with the dress and the stockings, and then you're like,

730
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 5: I'll make dinner. Go shower, Look, take a shower now, Okay.

731
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 5: I ask to see the tattoo, she tells me later.

732
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 5: I'm frustrated. So I go have a shower, come back

733
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 5: and have dinner. Then we go to the fun stuff.

734
00:32:57,760 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 5: I didn't see the tattoo on her wrist, her legs,

735
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 5: I think MYSELFA is the other on her back, upper thigh,

736
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 5: her shoulder. I'm fine with that. I undo her zipper

737
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 5: in the back. Then she turns and lets her dress down.

738
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 5: Instant mood change. She had it done on her chest,

739
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:17,719
Speaker 5: above her chesticles. It's big and in your face. It

740
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 5: leaks above them like on top of them. It has

741
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 5: thick contours. Yeah, this didn't go well with me. She

742
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 5: completely ignored my opinions, disregarded the places where we agreed

743
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 5: she could have it done. And it's a monstrosity of

744
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 5: a tattoo in a place where I will always have

745
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:35,680
Speaker 5: to see it if we make love or she wears

746
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 5: a bikini or something that has cleavage. It's also something

747
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 5: that is personal to me. Of all the things she mentioned,

748
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 5: the tattoo will be. She never told me about this.

749
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 5: She said she wanted it to be a gift to me,

750
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 5: to show me me her dedication.

751
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 6: What is this? What is this gift?

752
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 2: Like?

753
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 6: This is a gift from me to you. I'm gonna

754
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 6: put a tattoo on my body where it is. I'm

755
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 6: gonna put you right here where you look at. I'm

756
00:33:58,840 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 6: gonna put it right.

757
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 5: On my eyes. Oogas oogas one.

758
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 6: I think nobody sure you can do it personally. I

759
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:08,359
Speaker 6: don't think you should get a tattooed for somebody else.

760
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 6: I think you should get a tattoo.

761
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:12,840
Speaker 5: That's especially not for someone who hates tattoos bingo.

762
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 6: I think you should get tattooed for you or symbolized

763
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,839
Speaker 6: to something that you want. If it symbolizes a bond

764
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,359
Speaker 6: that you have with somebody, yeah, maybe you shouldell them

765
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 6: where you're getting it or what you're getting of. If

766
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:24,840
Speaker 6: she was playing a game of you could have to guess,

767
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 6: You're going to have to guess, And I'm gonna do

768
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:30,240
Speaker 6: it for you and you're gonna love it. Not not

769
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 6: my cup of tea. You can do it. Surprises are fun,

770
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 6: not a very fun surprise for me. Again, just do

771
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 6: tattoos for you. But also, I agree, Opie, what are

772
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 6: you to do now? Huh? The thing you hate? What

773
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 6: a crossroads you're at. You love this woman, but you

774
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 6: don't love that.

775
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 5: I feel disrespected and ignored, like my wishes and desires

776
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 5: have no meaning to her. To me, it shows what

777
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:58,319
Speaker 5: she thinks my status will be in our relationship, that

778
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 5: she would just be able to go over anything I

779
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 5: say and take drastic decisions without caring about the consequences. Well,

780
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:06,840
Speaker 5: a consequence of this is that I'm calling off the

781
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 5: wedding and she is in freak out mode.

782
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 6: Ah I saw that coming. Wow over a simple tattoo.

783
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 6: I mean, I guess you really hate tattoos.

784
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:16,719
Speaker 5: I don't know, bro, you' all both sound like red

785
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:17,960
Speaker 5: flags to me at this point.

786
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 6: Giant.

787
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:20,960
Speaker 5: She says she thought I would like it, and that

788
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 5: she wanted to show her dedication to me that she'll

789
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:26,719
Speaker 5: have it removed. Basically anything she thinks I want to hear.

790
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 5: My side of the family is understanding of my reaction.

791
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 5: Let me guess they don't like tattoos.

792
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:33,520
Speaker 6: I think they hate tattoos too.

793
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 5: They know my standing on this matter. They know it

794
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 5: wasn't something I just liked to pretend I hate but

795
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 5: secretly love. Her side of the family is split. Her

796
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 5: mother is more conservative, so her motives are not too straightforward.

797
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 5: Her father is on my side, her sister is all

798
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:53,680
Speaker 5: in on dear sister's side. Her brother's neutral and doesn't

799
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 5: want to get involved. To me, even if she does

800
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:59,280
Speaker 5: get the tattoo removed, it shows her willingness to ignore

801
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:02,320
Speaker 5: my side of things, do things her way, then scramble

802
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,520
Speaker 5: and try to fix the eventual f up. I can't

803
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:06,879
Speaker 5: have that in a relationship.

804
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:09,880
Speaker 6: Dude, you sound a little controlling.

805
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:13,239
Speaker 5: What do you guys think? The wedding is definitely off

806
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:16,359
Speaker 5: that decision I won't revert. What steps would you take

807
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 5: regarding the relationship? Is there anything worth saving here? Is

808
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 5: this how she'll always be? Or was this a spur

809
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:25,360
Speaker 5: of the moment decision? We got comments. We got comments

810
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 5: come at one out of curiosity. What was the tattoo?

811
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:31,800
Speaker 5: Opie says, wings with a heart in the middle. Inside

812
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 5: the heart, there's a symbol. That's a birth sign I

813
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 5: have on my body. Reply says, what like an actual

814
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 5: birthmark you have? That's really weird her tattoo not you

815
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,800
Speaker 5: having a birthmark, Opie says, Yes, I have a birthmark

816
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:47,160
Speaker 5: that looks like a flower. Oh yeah, that's the weirdest

817
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 5: thing ever to get a flower tattoo. Think five petals.

818
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 5: If you'd saw it, you'd think I had a flower

819
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 5: form pressed on my skin and it left a mark there.

820
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 5: She had the tattoo with wings on the side symmetrical

821
00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:01,959
Speaker 5: above her buzzing goes over her chest. The wings grow

822
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 5: from the shape of a heart, and in the middle

823
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:05,680
Speaker 5: of the heart is the flower. That's a replica of

824
00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 5: my birthmark. And that's unmistakably what it is.

825
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 6: And there is an update straight into it.

826
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 5: I would like to thank those who provided feedback and

827
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,239
Speaker 5: perspective and have not straight out called me an a hole.

828
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:19,439
Speaker 5: Will continue with the wedding as plan? What?

829
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 2: What?

830
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 6: Okay?

831
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:24,320
Speaker 5: Well, op I don't know if she should stay with you, because,

832
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 5: as you said, you were going to call the wedding

833
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 5: off and that was your non revocable circumstance. So really

834
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:33,359
Speaker 5: you're coming off as oh wishy washy person, and you

835
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 5: can't have that in a relationship. I don't think I go.

836
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 5: I don't think you should get married. I don't think

837
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 5: you're ready to be a partner like that to somebody.

838
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 5: We realized we still need to work on our communication,

839
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 5: but we're also painfully aware of how miserable we both

840
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 5: were during this whole arteal. This has been our first

841
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:55,239
Speaker 5: serious fight, and what happened is in security. She had

842
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:58,319
Speaker 5: this idea that I don't think she's dedicated to our relationship,

843
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 5: so she wanted to prove it somehow. Turns out the

844
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:03,600
Speaker 5: end result wasn't something she was that happy with either.

845
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:06,319
Speaker 5: My initial reaction didn't help, and for the next few

846
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:10,239
Speaker 5: days things spiraled out of control. After the pros here

847
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:12,799
Speaker 5: on Reddit, I decided we needed to sit down and

848
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 5: put our ducks in order again. Not that's another phrase

849
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 5: that's wrong. It's ducks in a row. Ducks in a

850
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:24,400
Speaker 5: row are affairs in order, Ducks in a row?

851
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 6: We have what's going on? I think ever since we

852
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 6: got to BALI that all these sayings and phrases have

853
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:34,919
Speaker 6: really flipped upside down.

854
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 5: I love her and she loves me, and there was

855
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 5: no reason why we would not be able to untangle

856
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 5: this mess. Why I hate tattoos, Well, all she knew

857
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 5: is that I'm not a fan of them, but not

858
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 5: the reason. When I was younger, a lot younger, I

859
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 5: was horribly mistreated by someone that had many tattoos. Well,

860
00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 5: Geeve freaking willkers Man, maybe you should tell her that

861
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:03,919
Speaker 5: before you know yet you have communication problems. It's time

862
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 5: to work on that one. I don't associate people that

863
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:10,239
Speaker 5: have tattoos with abusers, but I'm also not a fan

864
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,319
Speaker 5: of the tattoo culture because of it. She didn't know

865
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:16,120
Speaker 5: because I never talked about it with her. I suppose

866
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 5: I never wanted her to think I'm vulnerable or that

867
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 5: I was. You want to marry this boe.

868
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,279
Speaker 6: Dude, you want to marry this woman, and you be like,

869
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,280
Speaker 6: I don't think I can be vulnerable around this person.

870
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 6: I'm gonna be living with her for the rest of

871
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 6: my life, and I don't want to be vulnerable with

872
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 6: this person. I'm sorry for that, shark, I'm out.

873
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 5: You can imagine after these many years, my thoughts on

874
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 5: the matter are still mixed. Anyway, she was horrified to

875
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:42,279
Speaker 5: learn about this and started crying. She will have the

876
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:45,440
Speaker 5: tattoo removed after the original post. I've come to the

877
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 5: conclusion that her new skin decoration is something I will

878
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 5: have to live with. But at the end of the day,

879
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:52,319
Speaker 5: she's the one I want, and a mild annoyance will

880
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 5: not define our relationship. I told her this, but she

881
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:57,880
Speaker 5: will get it removed anyway. I think she is horrified

882
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:01,239
Speaker 5: by this revelation. We also decided on couples counseling to

883
00:40:01,239 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 5: see if that is something that will work for us.

884
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,359
Speaker 5: If either of us will be uncomfortable, we will not

885
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:08,240
Speaker 5: continue with it. We also decided not to be ales

886
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:11,200
Speaker 5: to one another in petty matters. I will wear shorts again.

887
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:14,600
Speaker 5: God Nan, that was a funny conversation. We won't impose

888
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:17,240
Speaker 5: restrictions on one another. I will go out with friends

889
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,920
Speaker 5: and watch football with them again. She can go and

890
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 5: meet her girlfriends. We will put a lot of work

891
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 5: into ourselves individually and as a couple. Turns out we

892
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:28,239
Speaker 5: have a problem with communication, but the prospects are positive.

893
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,360
Speaker 5: Her insecurities didn't want me to go out with friends

894
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,399
Speaker 5: because some of them are single and what if they

895
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,480
Speaker 5: bring women there that tempt me? So she always had

896
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 5: to be there. But she doesn't like football, so you

897
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 5: can see where this is going. I'm happy with the

898
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 5: results of the original post. She's happy I took the

899
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 5: initiative and broke the ice. My fears were that she

900
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,719
Speaker 5: had the tattooed done as a power play, but there

901
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 5: was no malice. I want a relationship of equals where

902
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 5: a decision can be made as a couple. We will

903
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 5: see where this is going. But the last two days

904
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 5: have been amazing. I don't think y'all are ready for marriage.

905
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 6: I think yeah, I think maybe things are being postponed.

906
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 6: At least you guys are working on couple's therapy, couples counseling.

907
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:11,480
Speaker 6: I think again, solo stuff is good. I think the

908
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,080
Speaker 6: notion we both called it out is the fact that

909
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 6: she needed to get a tattoo to prove her love

910
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 6: to you. Huge thing that should have been communicated. Yeah,

911
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 6: that's crazy. The fact that this is what drew the

912
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:25,760
Speaker 6: line of how to communicate all of this ah crazy,

913
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,239
Speaker 6: but it you know, it came. It came to that.

914
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:31,320
Speaker 5: It seems to be a lot of control on both sides,

915
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:33,840
Speaker 5: where it's like, dude, if she can't trust you to

916
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:35,759
Speaker 5: hang out with your friends because some of them are

917
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,080
Speaker 5: single and might bring women to tempt you. So she

918
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 5: has to be with you at all times. That means

919
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:44,000
Speaker 5: you're not ready for marriage.

920
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:46,480
Speaker 6: And you have to get a tattoo. The tattoo of

921
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 6: this significance, like if it was a little thing cute,

922
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:52,240
Speaker 6: but like if that significance to prove that you love somebody.

923
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 6: I don't know, man, I don't know.

924
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:58,839
Speaker 5: But and it could have just gotten that somewhere else

925
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 5: that was agreed to, is okay, and you just went

926
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:03,839
Speaker 5: overboard And yeah, I don't know.

927
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:05,560
Speaker 6: I don't know. Personally, I all do.

928
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:07,799
Speaker 5: Have a listening and communication problem, I think.

929
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 6: But they're working on it, which is good.

930
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's good.

931
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,239
Speaker 6: I think. Sure you should also ask her, like, hey,

932
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 6: do you actually want a tattoo for you? Because you

933
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 6: can get something that you want, maybe a small thing.

934
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:20,920
Speaker 6: I don't know. We can see how that works. But

935
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 6: if you only got a tattoo for you for the relationship, okay, great,

936
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:27,399
Speaker 6: But I would ask her. But I think you guys

937
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,440
Speaker 6: are working through this. I think you guys need to

938
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,200
Speaker 6: take a couple steps back and just work things slower

939
00:42:32,719 --> 00:42:35,359
Speaker 6: at a and just see how things work.

940
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 5: Agreed. I was asked this question so here's the answer.

941
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:42,400
Speaker 5: We live together. We own a house. Fifty to fifty

942
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 5: night of the tattoo reveal, I went to my parents.

943
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:48,359
Speaker 5: She went to her parents. Essentially until two days ago,

944
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 5: none of us lived at home, and she said she

945
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 5: doesn't want to be there if I'm not there. As

946
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,720
Speaker 5: a closing note, this could have been a huge mistake

947
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:59,600
Speaker 5: for both of us. Communication is key. I urge couples

948
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:01,400
Speaker 5: out there learn from my story and open up to

949
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 5: one another, and I've done that sooner I would have

950
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:06,400
Speaker 5: never been here. Thank you. And that is the end

951
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 5: of that story.

952
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:10,960
Speaker 6: My wife excluded my son from their tradition, so I

953
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:17,560
Speaker 6: snap losing my tradition. My wife thirty four female let's

954
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 6: call her Jessica, and I male thirty two recently got

955
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:24,399
Speaker 6: into a heated argument because she excluded my son eight

956
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 6: let's call him Joe, from what I feel should be

957
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:29,799
Speaker 6: a family event. I end up yelling at her, and

958
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:32,120
Speaker 6: now she doesn't want me to participate in this event too.

959
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:34,959
Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from user throwaway eight six'

960
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:36,719
Speaker 6: two seven nine Eight and if you want some of

961
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:38,879
Speaker 6: your own, stories go to the r slash okay story Time.

962
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:42,320
Speaker 6: Supreddit i'm Keon I'm dakota and we're here to give good. Advice,

963
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 6: goofley but we don't have all the. Answers we only

964
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 6: know what we, Do so let us know what you

965
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:49,719
Speaker 6: do in the, comments pretty pretty, Please op. Says my

966
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:52,279
Speaker 6: wife is an avid runner and has been for almost a.

967
00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 6: Decade it's very important to her because it helps her

968
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:57,480
Speaker 6: maintain her physical and mental, health and she has had

969
00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 6: a lifelong struggle with. Both each, year she and her

970
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:03,400
Speaker 6: son male, seven let's call Him, teddy run an annual

971
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 6: ten kit seven year olds running a ten. K. Cool

972
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:10,359
Speaker 6: good for, That good For, teddy big. Seven she's been

973
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:12,399
Speaker 6: taking her son to this race since he was a year,

974
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:14,919
Speaker 6: old pushing him in a, stroller and he's been able

975
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:16,719
Speaker 6: to run with the whole thing with her without a

976
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 6: stroller since last. Year that's. Crazy that's. Insane teddy's six

977
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 6: years old running a ten K.

978
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:24,279
Speaker 5: Maybe a little too insane for my.

979
00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 6: Taste teddy has always loved running With, jessica so it's

980
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:30,800
Speaker 6: always been their. Thing last, YEAR i showed up to

981
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,719
Speaker 6: Support jessica at the ten case since it was the

982
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:35,760
Speaker 6: first one she did since we got. Together it looked.

983
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 6: FUN i asked her IF i could do the race

984
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 6: with her the next. Time she was, ecstatic but said

985
00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 6: THAT i would need to train since it's always been

986
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,920
Speaker 6: a personal goal of hers to run the entire. Distance

987
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 6: he has never walked during this, race even while pregnant

988
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:51,680
Speaker 6: or while pushing him in a. Stroller she And teddy

989
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:54,400
Speaker 6: trained last year and they both ran the entire distance

990
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:57,719
Speaker 6: with no walk. Brakes She teddy AND i have been

991
00:44:57,719 --> 00:45:00,360
Speaker 6: training together and we can all run AT la that

992
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 6: distance this. Year here's where my son comes. IN i

993
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 6: have him half the, time and he doesn't run with

994
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 6: me when it's my. Week he hasn't been interested in,

995
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,480
Speaker 6: running and neither of us will force him to participate

996
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 6: in any physical activity if he isn't interested in. It,

997
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:17,200
Speaker 6: honestly he hasn't been very interested in anything that involves

998
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 6: physical activity and has been known to whine a lot

999
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 6: when he's. Tired, recently she mentioned the race is in

1000
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 6: front Of. Joe she wasn't mentioning it to be. Mean

1001
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:28,399
Speaker 6: she was running through the family calendar for the month

1002
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:30,600
Speaker 6: and informed me that she had registered the three of

1003
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:33,839
Speaker 6: us for the. Race joe perked up and asked if

1004
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:36,239
Speaker 6: he could do the race. TOO i spoke up and

1005
00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 6: said it would be fun and that we look into,

1006
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:41,560
Speaker 6: it and he got so. EXCITED i could already tell

1007
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 6: she'd want to talk about, that SO i told him

1008
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:46,240
Speaker 6: to grab a snack and go play with his. BROTHER

1009
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:48,680
Speaker 6: i asked her if she could register him for the race.

1010
00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 6: Too she reminded me that she told me that IF

1011
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:53,279
Speaker 6: i wanted to run with, HER i would have to

1012
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 6: train to be able to keep up with her And

1013
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 6: teddy for the entire, distance and That joe hasn't done

1014
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:01,359
Speaker 6: any of. THAT i told her that if he gets,

1015
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:03,759
Speaker 6: tired he could get out and, walk OR i could

1016
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:06,080
Speaker 6: push him in her old running. Stroller she told me

1017
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:07,759
Speaker 6: THAT i didn't realize WHAT i was signing up, for

1018
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:10,360
Speaker 6: because adding that amount of weight a stroller plus an

1019
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 6: eight year old would add way more strain THAN i would.

1020
00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:15,080
Speaker 6: Expect she said that IF i really wanted to do,

1021
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 6: it she would sign him, up but THAT i should

1022
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 6: plan on not running with her And teddy as they

1023
00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:22,479
Speaker 6: would be keeping up with their no walking. Tradition here's

1024
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 6: Where i'm THINKING i may have turned into THE a.

1025
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:27,400
Speaker 6: HOLE i didn't agree with her. SUGGESTION i told her

1026
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 6: that since we're a family, now we should make new.

1027
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 6: Traditions to include, everyone even if that includes changing one

1028
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:37,360
Speaker 6: that's important to. Her here's some additional. Context my wife

1029
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 6: has autism and sometimes changes to important things like that

1030
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 6: really upset. Her she got upset and said that she

1031
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,440
Speaker 6: offered a compromise where everyone could do the same, race

1032
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,440
Speaker 6: but not, together because it's important to her to keep

1033
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:52,680
Speaker 6: up with the no walk. Tradition she also reminded me

1034
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:55,759
Speaker 6: that a ten k is a long, distance especially for

1035
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:59,360
Speaker 6: a kid who doesn't run at. ALL i again mentioned the.

1036
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,920
Speaker 6: Stroller she pushed back and said that a kid that

1037
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 6: age should be able to go the entire distance if

1038
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:06,759
Speaker 6: he's going to participate at, all and said it was

1039
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:09,560
Speaker 6: unlikely That i'd be able to push the stroller the whole,

1040
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 6: distance as she had to train a lot when she

1041
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:13,360
Speaker 6: first started using the shroller For.

1042
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:17,000
Speaker 5: Teddy did she how old is this? Child teddy is,

1043
00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 5: seven and then the other, CHILD i Believe.

1044
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:22,359
Speaker 6: Joe's eight or maybe ten something of. THAT i think

1045
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 6: he's around that eight to ten.

1046
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:28,280
Speaker 5: Range it's JUST i don't, know man' that's. Crazy she's

1047
00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:33,120
Speaker 5: she's basically saying, that, uh that, child a child should

1048
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:36,759
Speaker 5: be able TO i don't, know it's this. Extreme that's.

1049
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:39,759
Speaker 6: Extreme to think when you've been training your entire life for,

1050
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:42,840
Speaker 6: THIS i don't. KNOW i also don't think it's smart

1051
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 6: to apply your son op to. This yeah it sounds,

1052
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:49,719
Speaker 6: fun but like, YOU i would have a top like

1053
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,440
Speaker 6: before you even, like, yeah let's do. It it's, like, Wait,

1054
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:56,239
Speaker 6: joe this is like an extreme. Thing should like like

1055
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 6: like let's go for like a little, Walk like let's

1056
00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 6: go for a one k right, now and see how

1057
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,520
Speaker 6: you like? That did you like that one? K? Joe,

1058
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:06,759
Speaker 6: okay let's keep doing. THIS i, say let's eat like

1059
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:08,759
Speaker 6: maybe not this, year but let's do it next year

1060
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:11,640
Speaker 6: or maybe like we can do. This, okay you and

1061
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:15,920
Speaker 6: me will do, This mom And teddy will go do

1062
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 6: it at their own. Pace how about that two different

1063
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 6: things like.

1064
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:22,719
Speaker 5: Exactly it shouldn't be like a thing where it's, like

1065
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 5: well you have to do it exactly our way or

1066
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 5: it's not gonna. Happen you shouldn't do.

1067
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 6: It, exactly or it shouldn't be like it should be

1068
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:30,719
Speaker 6: my way and we have the stroller and like we

1069
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:32,800
Speaker 6: hold you. Back it's like all, right we're gonna do

1070
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,840
Speaker 6: this as a. Family but guess, What mom And teddy

1071
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 6: are really good at this they're gonna go at their own,

1072
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:41,239
Speaker 6: Pace joe and myself where we haven't done, This we're

1073
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:43,560
Speaker 6: gonna go at our. PACE i could see how she

1074
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 6: was getting, upset BUT i THOUGHT i could get her

1075
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 6: to see my. Side she finally snapped and, SAID i

1076
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 6: am not going to change up a tradition that's this

1077
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 6: important to. Me you know how much change bothers me

1078
00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:57,440
Speaker 6: WHEN i value something so, Much and, HONESTLY i can't

1079
00:48:57,440 --> 00:49:02,239
Speaker 6: handle the whining for six. MILES i was. FLOORED i

1080
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:05,439
Speaker 6: know that some repetitive noises overstimulate, her but she has

1081
00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 6: worked on that and has as coping, mechanism SO i

1082
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:11,040
Speaker 6: didn't think that would be an. Issue that's WHEN i

1083
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:14,239
Speaker 6: raised my. VOICE i told her that she needed to

1084
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 6: get over herself because him having fun with all of

1085
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:20,000
Speaker 6: us is more important than some stupid goal to avoid.

1086
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:23,759
Speaker 6: Walking she started. Crying she walked off and said she

1087
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:25,760
Speaker 6: no longer wants me to go with her And. TEDDY

1088
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:28,960
Speaker 6: i feel bad THAT i made her, cry BUT i

1089
00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:31,680
Speaker 6: don't feel bad for trying to make Sure joe's. Included

1090
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:34,600
Speaker 6: so read. It AM i the a hole for yelling

1091
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 6: at my wife because my son didn't get included and

1092
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 6: we have some. COMMENTS i think you are an a.

1093
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:43,600
Speaker 6: HOLE i think this like this situation like you're doing

1094
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:45,640
Speaker 6: trying to do one, Side she's trying to do one,

1095
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:48,680
Speaker 6: side and none of you are. Compromising it's like either

1096
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:50,759
Speaker 6: for both of, you your mentality is my way or

1097
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:53,640
Speaker 6: the highway kind of. THING i, think, YES opi you

1098
00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:57,840
Speaker 6: should include your. Son you should Include. Joe but this

1099
00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:01,520
Speaker 6: should be a whole conversation before you even like register him.

1100
00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 5: NOW i don't, Know, YEAH i think it should. BE

1101
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:07,400
Speaker 5: i DON'T i don't. KNOW i think everyone kind of sucks.

1102
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:11,480
Speaker 5: HERE i think when you've got multiple children from multiple,

1103
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 5: families you know that you can have you can have

1104
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:18,879
Speaker 5: like separate traditions and, stuff but you also don't want

1105
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:21,359
Speaker 5: to make them feel like they're like. Othered you want

1106
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 5: them to do as equal as. Possible you.

1107
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:26,640
Speaker 6: Know, yeah she was excited that, you but you were

1108
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:28,279
Speaker 6: training for, this like she did, Say he's, like, oh

1109
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 6: you want to join, us you want to Join teddy AND.

1110
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 6: I you have to train for. This it's not like

1111
00:50:32,239 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 6: a walk in the. Park but she should also be,

1112
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:36,440
Speaker 6: like if you, don't, like if you can't keep up with,

1113
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:39,440
Speaker 6: us that's. Okay just registering you and you want to

1114
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:41,080
Speaker 6: be a part of this is really sweet of. You

1115
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 6: we can go at our, pace you can go at your.

1116
00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:45,640
Speaker 6: Pace same thing With. JOE i feel like this needs

1117
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:47,680
Speaker 6: to be a full on conversation before this thing's got

1118
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:51,839
Speaker 6: things got. Heated, yeah but we have some. Comments Comm

1119
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:54,760
Speaker 6: at number, one you mentioned your wife struggling with changing

1120
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:58,080
Speaker 6: important things a few. Times how many of your wife's important,

1121
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:01,200
Speaker 6: things preferences and traditions have you already stomped all? Over

1122
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 6: you are the a? Hole come my number, two you

1123
00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:08,000
Speaker 6: are the a. Hole this is her tradition she's had

1124
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:10,799
Speaker 6: with her son since before you came. Along you asked to.

1125
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 6: Join she told you the. Stipulations she shouldn't have to

1126
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:17,400
Speaker 6: change her traditions because your, son whom you admitted doesn't

1127
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:20,959
Speaker 6: like physical activity and can be very, whiny suddenly thinks

1128
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:23,319
Speaker 6: this will be. Fun running a ten k is not

1129
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:26,280
Speaker 6: for an eight year old whiny kid who doesn't like physical. Activity,

1130
00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 6: also she's learned to adjust to your son's whiny behavior

1131
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:33,000
Speaker 6: on a normal, day not a day she's doing extreme physical.

1132
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:36,399
Speaker 6: Activity she didn't tell you that you two couldn't. Join

1133
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:38,840
Speaker 6: she told you her and her son would not be

1134
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 6: waiting on you and your son if he decides to.

1135
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 6: Join there is zero reason why she should have to

1136
00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 6: compromise in this, event especially when she's made her expectations

1137
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:51,000
Speaker 6: clear from the. Start, also her being autistic has nothing

1138
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:53,440
Speaker 6: to do with. This i'm not, autistic AND i make

1139
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:56,279
Speaker 6: my expectations very clear to people WHEN i have a,

1140
00:51:56,360 --> 00:51:59,200
Speaker 6: goal such as a ten, k and there's a reply

1141
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:03,400
Speaker 6: and he wants to make new traditions by taking traditions

1142
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 6: away from his wife And, teddy not by actually making new.

1143
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 6: Ones that's going to lead to a massive resentment Of.

1144
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:12,920
Speaker 6: Joe i'm at number. THREE i see a lot of

1145
00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:15,480
Speaker 6: very true comments about How joe will have to. Walk

1146
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 6: he will be, miserable he will, whine he will ruin

1147
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:22,680
Speaker 6: the race for. Everyone but it's also not safe for,

1148
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:25,719
Speaker 6: him even if the wife and step kid were not

1149
00:52:25,760 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 6: in the picture at. All Op if your eight year

1150
00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:30,719
Speaker 6: old comes up to you and SAYS i want to

1151
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:33,560
Speaker 6: run a ten, k you as the, adult are responsible

1152
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:37,040
Speaker 6: for guiding him on how to do. That, okay that's.

1153
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:40,120
Speaker 6: Great This, saturday let's go for a one mile run.

1154
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:43,120
Speaker 6: Walk we'll start doing that every week and we'll gradually

1155
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:44,920
Speaker 6: be able to go farther and then when we can

1156
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:46,880
Speaker 6: run a ten k, together we'll sign up for a.

1157
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:50,800
Speaker 6: Race you do not, say, okay let's sign up for

1158
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 6: a race that's happening in a week or. Two, again

1159
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:57,919
Speaker 6: back to my exact. Thing you said it, Yourself, op

1160
00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:00,719
Speaker 6: he hates physical, activity what are we?

1161
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:01,840
Speaker 3: Doing that is?

1162
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:05,319
Speaker 6: True you are setting him up for, misery, failure and most,

1163
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 6: importantly possible. Injury it is simply not a good idea

1164
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:11,719
Speaker 6: for a sedimentary person to run ten k off the

1165
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:15,239
Speaker 6: couch with no. Preparation not only, that but if the

1166
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:17,560
Speaker 6: first ever run he goes on is a, big organized,

1167
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 6: race there's a lot of added stress and pressure to

1168
00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 6: keep up and to. Finish lots of adult runners experienced

1169
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:26,000
Speaker 6: in running the distance in training really bog during their

1170
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,440
Speaker 6: first race because it's so hard to run at your

1171
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:31,359
Speaker 6: own pace when surrounded by a crowd running at their.

1172
00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:34,800
Speaker 6: Pace he's also a small child and much more susceptible

1173
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:38,320
Speaker 6: to dehydration and heat exhaustion than adult bodies, are in

1174
00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:41,640
Speaker 6: much less experienced understanding with physical activity and taking care

1175
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:45,160
Speaker 6: of his own. Body encourage his interest in. Running take

1176
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:47,440
Speaker 6: him out to the park for a short run slash,

1177
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:51,360
Speaker 6: Walk take it at his, pace make it fun if

1178
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 6: he remains. Interested build gradually from, there take him to

1179
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 6: a race that has a one mile Gets fun run

1180
00:53:57,640 --> 00:54:00,920
Speaker 6: as a starting point when he's ready for. That you

1181
00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 6: are the a, hole but not just to your wife

1182
00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:05,960
Speaker 6: and step. Son you're the ale To joe most of.

1183
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,960
Speaker 6: All and there is an update anything to.

1184
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:11,400
Speaker 5: Add, YEAH i mean those comments are pretty pretty.

1185
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:13,440
Speaker 6: SOLID i, mean you, know same THING i.

1186
00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:17,800
Speaker 5: Said it's, uh it's just LIKE i think the stroller,

1187
00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:22,200
Speaker 5: THING i don't, KNOW i THINK i think, yeah.

1188
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:23,600
Speaker 6: Yeah AND i also think you're. RIGHT i think that

1189
00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:26,040
Speaker 6: comment on the tradition thing was, like, yeah you didn't

1190
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 6: really make a new. Tradition you just took what she

1191
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:30,680
Speaker 6: had and you're, Like i'm gonna be a part of.

1192
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:31,200
Speaker 6: That let's make.

1193
00:54:31,239 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 5: That you're just trying to plug it. In and it's just,

1194
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 5: like you, know it's not like get an afternoon tea.

1195
00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:42,240
Speaker 5: Somewhere it's like a little more, involved.

1196
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:43,960
Speaker 6: Really easy thing you could, Do. Opie you have your family,

1197
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:45,920
Speaker 6: there you Have, teddy you Have, joe you Have. Jessica

1198
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:48,920
Speaker 6: all in the. Room, hey, guys To joe And, teddy

1199
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:51,400
Speaker 6: what's something you both want to do that like we

1200
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 6: can do on like like movie nights easy cooking, nights

1201
00:54:55,520 --> 00:55:00,319
Speaker 6: easy baking. Nights, easy let's start. There, yeah we do

1202
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:04,000
Speaker 6: have an. Update, yeah you guys are. RIGHT i fd.

1203
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:06,279
Speaker 6: UP i can't go through and respond to all of

1204
00:55:06,280 --> 00:55:08,879
Speaker 6: you in, general but the majority of you are. RIGHT

1205
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:11,799
Speaker 6: i owe her a massive, apology And i'm going to

1206
00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:14,239
Speaker 6: talk to my son so he understands why this isn't

1207
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:17,880
Speaker 6: AN us. Thing my wife is a, wonderful patient, woman

1208
00:55:17,960 --> 00:55:19,520
Speaker 6: And i'm going to do WHAT i can to try

1209
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:22,280
Speaker 6: and make this right and not cause any more resentment

1210
00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:25,560
Speaker 6: THAN i already. Have let's just go ahead and finish

1211
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:29,920
Speaker 6: up this story to add some additional. Details, no she

1212
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:32,680
Speaker 6: does not Exclude joe from. ANYTHING i GUESS i just

1213
00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:35,239
Speaker 6: expected her to include him in, this just like she

1214
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:38,600
Speaker 6: has with everything. Else BUT i assume that part without

1215
00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:41,840
Speaker 6: taking the effort required to train for and run a

1216
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:44,600
Speaker 6: race into. CONSIDERATION i can keep up with them IF

1217
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 6: i don't have a. Stroller that MUCH i have done

1218
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:50,399
Speaker 6: during plenty of runs with. Them she was, right, though

1219
00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:53,160
Speaker 6: with a Stroller i'd probably passed away on the course

1220
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:55,800
Speaker 6: in a mile or. Two and that's the end of that. Story,

1221
00:55:56,239 --> 00:56:00,319
Speaker 6: Op all, right you gotta owe it up to.

1222
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:04,480
Speaker 5: Her break new ground, ohp it's time for something. New

1223
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:06,600
Speaker 5: if you want a new, tradition make.

1224
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:09,680
Speaker 6: One, yeah don't copy and paste it and add your

1225
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:12,279
Speaker 6: little flare to. IT i think you guys needed to

1226
00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:17,560
Speaker 6: make a tradition movie, night simple, belief tracing something something

1227
00:56:17,640 --> 00:56:19,800
Speaker 6: cute for. Everyone BUT i think you need to Ask

1228
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:22,640
Speaker 6: teddy And joe what they both like so you can

1229
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:26,520
Speaker 6: go from, there easy and. Simple, Agreed and.

1230
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:27,040
Speaker 5: That's the end of this.

1231
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:28,759
Speaker 6: Story let's head to the next.

1232
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:31,160
Speaker 5: One hey, all It's john Og host.

1233
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:32,719
Speaker 1: Here we're gonna get back to the, stories but here's

1234
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:34,120
Speaker 1: a quick three minute break From as for more.

1235
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:37,919
Speaker 5: Sponsors my husband co signed a one million dollar home

1236
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:40,360
Speaker 5: loan for his family without telling.

1237
00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:41,640
Speaker 6: Me that's your ex. Husband.

1238
00:56:41,719 --> 00:56:45,080
Speaker 5: Now my, husband thirty eight, male AND i thirty nine,

1239
00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:47,600
Speaker 5: female have been happily married for a little over two.

1240
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:51,080
Speaker 5: Years we own a home and do quite well for ourselves.

1241
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:55,040
Speaker 5: Financially he generally maintains the finances for our. Family my

1242
00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:57,879
Speaker 5: husband's mother and sister live a few hours, away AND

1243
00:56:57,960 --> 00:57:01,239
Speaker 5: i have always felt they were very awful towards. Him

1244
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:04,960
Speaker 5: they speak down to, him disrespect, him and essentially make

1245
00:57:05,040 --> 00:57:08,040
Speaker 5: him feel as if it's his responsibility to clean up their,

1246
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:12,400
Speaker 5: messes financial mishaps and poor. Choices by the, way this

1247
00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:15,920
Speaker 5: comes from User queen. Fourteen and if you want to

1248
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 5: submit your own, stories go to the our Slash okay

1249
00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:18,520
Speaker 5: storytime subbered.

1250
00:57:18,520 --> 00:57:21,920
Speaker 6: It I'm, Dakota I'm, keon and we are here to

1251
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:22,400
Speaker 6: give you good.

1252
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 5: Advice, gooofully but we don't have all the, answers so

1253
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:26,840
Speaker 5: if you would do something, different let us know in the.

1254
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:30,840
Speaker 5: Comments and op, says now onto the M i the

1255
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:33,840
Speaker 5: a whole. Part my husband's sister and mother have been

1256
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:37,200
Speaker 5: renting a home from another family member well under market,

1257
00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:40,040
Speaker 5: value at least three thousand dollars less than what it

1258
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:43,840
Speaker 5: would rent. For now the owner slash family member has

1259
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:46,520
Speaker 5: decided to sell this. Home mind, you it has been

1260
00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:50,040
Speaker 5: trashed and not maintained by the sister and. Mother they

1261
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:52,200
Speaker 5: have little to no respect for the fact that they

1262
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:55,280
Speaker 5: have had it so good for so. Long the owner

1263
00:57:55,280 --> 00:57:58,680
Speaker 5: gave them ninety days to vacate the. Premises, immediately the

1264
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:02,040
Speaker 5: sister and mother began asking my husband to help them

1265
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:04,600
Speaker 5: buy a. Home they live and work in one of

1266
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:08,280
Speaker 5: the most expensive housing markets in THE. Us, additionally they

1267
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:10,920
Speaker 5: do not qualify for the type and amount of loan

1268
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:13,560
Speaker 5: they would need to even buy a modest home in the,

1269
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:16,240
Speaker 5: area and they refuse to move to a more affordable

1270
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 5: area that will accept a lower credit score without any major,

1271
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:21,560
Speaker 5: assets et. Cetera blah blah, blah blah.

1272
00:58:21,560 --> 00:58:24,040
Speaker 6: Blah you know WHAT i do? THERE i tell my,

1273
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:26,640
Speaker 6: husband don't help. Them if they are really to be this,

1274
00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:31,680
Speaker 6: stubborn that that's not your. Responsibility that's their problem to figure. Out,

1275
00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:34,120
Speaker 6: sorry you can give them, references you can try and

1276
00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:36,800
Speaker 6: help in that, way but you are not doing much

1277
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 6: more than. That.

1278
00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:40,720
Speaker 5: Yep after a lot of back and, forth they finally

1279
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 5: asked my husband to co sign on a very, basic

1280
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:47,800
Speaker 5: older home that costs a million. Dollars my immediate reaction

1281
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:50,800
Speaker 5: was to tell, them absolutely, not AND i voice my

1282
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:54,000
Speaker 5: concerns to my. Husband he is usually very level headed

1283
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:56,280
Speaker 5: and financially, savvy BUT i had to be the one

1284
00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:58,640
Speaker 5: to push him and his family for some sort of

1285
00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:01,520
Speaker 5: plan of how the would all. Work to go from

1286
00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:04,000
Speaker 5: paying one thousand dollars a month in rent to well

1287
00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:07,360
Speaker 5: over six thousand a month on a mortgage not even including,

1288
00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:11,400
Speaker 5: bills seems questionable at, best and a terrible decision at.

1289
00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:14,560
Speaker 5: WORST i asked my husband why they can't move into

1290
00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:16,480
Speaker 5: a modest apartment and make a plan to buy in

1291
00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:18,680
Speaker 5: a year or. Two but he didn't really have an.

1292
00:59:18,720 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 5: Answer he agreed that they absolutely need a plan in

1293
00:59:22,280 --> 00:59:25,960
Speaker 5: order for him to engage. Again after several weeks of

1294
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:28,560
Speaker 5: back and forth with his, family they had yet to

1295
00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:31,640
Speaker 5: provide any solid plan on how they would pay the

1296
00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:34,960
Speaker 5: mortgage and the bills and avoid. Default who would be

1297
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:39,880
Speaker 5: responsible for, repairs no. Idea, finally last, week BEFORE i

1298
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:42,240
Speaker 5: left for a work, trip my husband told me he

1299
00:59:42,240 --> 00:59:44,360
Speaker 5: would not be co signing on the home and that

1300
00:59:44,400 --> 00:59:49,240
Speaker 5: they had done zero. Planning did he now real? Interesting

1301
00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:51,760
Speaker 5: i'm excited to see AND i. GUESS i guess that's

1302
00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 5: the end of the, story and they lived abbly ever ask,

1303
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:57,400
Speaker 5: wait we have. MORE i was so relieved and was

1304
00:59:57,440 --> 01:00:00,360
Speaker 5: able to relax on my trip well. Return he turned

1305
01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:02,040
Speaker 5: home at the end of the week and was taking

1306
01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:04,640
Speaker 5: a shower when he walked in and told me he

1307
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:07,720
Speaker 5: co signed for the. Home to, SAY i was taken

1308
01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:10,760
Speaker 5: aback as an. UNDERSTATEMENT i went through all the range

1309
01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:12,920
Speaker 5: of emotions in a short amount of, time but it

1310
01:00:12,960 --> 01:00:15,840
Speaker 5: wasn't until the next morning that what he had done

1311
01:00:15,960 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 5: really hit. Me he chose to make a risky investment

1312
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:21,680
Speaker 5: with people who didn't respect him and did it behind

1313
01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:25,160
Speaker 5: my back after assuring me he. Wouldn't he kept trying

1314
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:27,840
Speaker 5: to tell ME i was safe from any potential. Impact

1315
01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:32,120
Speaker 5: BUT i don't understand how that could. Be, yeah because

1316
01:00:32,160 --> 01:00:36,520
Speaker 5: it's not. True as soon as these people stop paying

1317
01:00:36,560 --> 01:00:39,560
Speaker 5: for this, house which they will, do all of that

1318
01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:40,960
Speaker 5: responsibility falls upon your.

1319
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:43,720
Speaker 6: Husband and guess what does it come to you? Too

1320
01:00:44,200 --> 01:00:47,680
Speaker 6: your hubby's gonna be, like oh, man, Ope i'm. Stressed

1321
01:00:48,040 --> 01:00:49,160
Speaker 6: can you lend me some? Money?

1322
01:00:49,240 --> 01:00:51,360
Speaker 5: YEAH i, mean last TIME i, checked he's your freaking,

1323
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:55,680
Speaker 5: husband so that does relate to. You Uh. OH i

1324
01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:58,520
Speaker 5: asked him to walk me through the conversation and the

1325
01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:02,360
Speaker 5: plans and any assurance that our own assets were. Saved he.

1326
01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:05,800
Speaker 5: Couldn't he then had the audacity to tell me at

1327
01:01:05,840 --> 01:01:09,320
Speaker 5: LEAST i decided to tell you shut. Up you Literally

1328
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:13,760
Speaker 5: that's WHEN i lost. IT i felt absolutely betrayed and.

1329
01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:17,680
Speaker 5: DISRESPECTED i cried and screamed and told him how he

1330
01:01:17,760 --> 01:01:20,480
Speaker 5: can't see how they use. HIM i told HIM i

1331
01:01:20,560 --> 01:01:24,439
Speaker 5: was questioning his integrity and our. Relationship we are also

1332
01:01:24,480 --> 01:01:26,920
Speaker 5: in the midst of THE ivf, process and it's been

1333
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:29,720
Speaker 5: extremely hard on me and my. BODY i told HIM

1334
01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:31,640
Speaker 5: i didn't think he deserved to be the father of my,

1335
01:01:31,720 --> 01:01:34,680
Speaker 5: children and if we did have, them his family would

1336
01:01:34,680 --> 01:01:38,000
Speaker 5: have limited contact and not be allowed around. Them there

1337
01:01:38,080 --> 01:01:40,280
Speaker 5: are other incidents of how they have treated me with

1338
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:43,960
Speaker 5: such disrespect that EVEN i have distanced myself from. Them

1339
01:01:44,400 --> 01:01:46,880
Speaker 5: that is also another reason why my husband decided for

1340
01:01:46,960 --> 01:01:49,880
Speaker 5: us to move away from. Them back to the subject at,

1341
01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:52,680
Speaker 5: Hand at first he was, remorseful but then he got

1342
01:01:52,720 --> 01:01:56,320
Speaker 5: defensive for his, family even though myself and many others

1343
01:01:56,520 --> 01:01:59,720
Speaker 5: have tried to show him how harmful they. ARE i told,

1344
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:03,200
Speaker 5: HIM i told him if he wanted any chance of

1345
01:02:03,240 --> 01:02:06,560
Speaker 5: making our relationship, right he was to immediately work with

1346
01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:09,440
Speaker 5: his mother and sister to write a contract that he

1347
01:02:09,520 --> 01:02:12,160
Speaker 5: had majority ownership in the, home so that if they

1348
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:15,680
Speaker 5: continued to make poor decisions and, default he could sell the. House.

1349
01:02:16,280 --> 01:02:18,600
Speaker 5: Well to no one's, surprise his family wouldn't agree to

1350
01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:21,120
Speaker 5: these terms because they believe living there is enough to

1351
01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:21,920
Speaker 5: solidify it's.

1352
01:02:21,960 --> 01:02:23,400
Speaker 6: Theirs are they?

1353
01:02:23,600 --> 01:02:27,360
Speaker 5: Stupid, no but your husband certainly. Is these people are

1354
01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:29,760
Speaker 5: smart enough to know that they could sucker your husband

1355
01:02:29,960 --> 01:02:33,280
Speaker 5: into giving them basically a free house because guess, what

1356
01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:36,560
Speaker 5: they don't have to pay for. Anything if they, don't

1357
01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:41,640
Speaker 5: guess who's, Responsible i'll be. Right for the last three,

1358
01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:45,200
Speaker 5: Days i've asked over and over again why he made

1359
01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:48,840
Speaker 5: this drastic decision without a. Plan my friends agree that

1360
01:02:48,920 --> 01:02:52,600
Speaker 5: this is a divorce worthy, offense but the reality, is besides,

1361
01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:56,160
Speaker 5: this we have a wonderful life together AND i love him.

1362
01:02:56,160 --> 01:02:58,680
Speaker 5: Dearly So, reddit AM i the ahole for calling my

1363
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:01,560
Speaker 5: husband stupid and threatening divorce over co signing the. Loan

1364
01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:05,440
Speaker 5: some additional details for anyone. Interested his sister is actually.

1365
01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:09,000
Speaker 5: Older he has managed to keep his financial success fairly

1366
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:11,479
Speaker 5: well hidden from his, family but due to the co sign,

1367
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:14,480
Speaker 5: process they now know exactly what assets he, has And

1368
01:03:14,560 --> 01:03:17,120
Speaker 5: i'm certain they will expect more from.

1369
01:03:17,200 --> 01:03:20,200
Speaker 6: Him you're not be, able you know you're, not especially

1370
01:03:20,200 --> 01:03:23,240
Speaker 6: when he said straight to your face That i'm not

1371
01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:27,120
Speaker 6: going to co. Sign don't worry about, It, bubba you go,

1372
01:03:27,240 --> 01:03:29,600
Speaker 6: On i'll go do, this you go do, that you

1373
01:03:29,680 --> 01:03:33,600
Speaker 6: come back, home and he's, like, so co, Sign.

1374
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:38,439
Speaker 5: Yeah funny. Story actually you think it's really. Funny, yeah,

1375
01:03:38,720 --> 01:03:43,600
Speaker 5: great this weird thing. Happened erm, erm SO i kind

1376
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:47,200
Speaker 5: of made it. Shined a million dollar, loan especially a

1377
01:03:47,360 --> 01:03:49,160
Speaker 5: million dollar loan.

1378
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:53,480
Speaker 6: Yeah especially with how his family treats. THEM i know

1379
01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:55,760
Speaker 6: for a, fact there was like guilt tripping, him, like,

1380
01:03:56,040 --> 01:03:58,280
Speaker 6: oh you don't do anything for this, family, YadA, YadA.

1381
01:03:58,360 --> 01:04:00,440
Speaker 6: YadA and he was just, LIKE i gotta a you,

1382
01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:02,600
Speaker 6: know cowboy up for. Them, yeah what is he.

1383
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:05,680
Speaker 5: Doing he's he's a victim of his own, family and

1384
01:04:05,720 --> 01:04:08,920
Speaker 5: then you are a victim of his victimization.

1385
01:04:08,520 --> 01:04:11,040
Speaker 6: Of his own. Family, yeah making that guys are about

1386
01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:11,320
Speaker 6: to have a.

1387
01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:12,760
Speaker 5: Baby you know what would come in a lot of

1388
01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:15,080
Speaker 5: handy when you have a. BABY a million.

1389
01:04:15,160 --> 01:04:18,520
Speaker 6: Dollars, man it's the family seception over. Here.

1390
01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:22,960
Speaker 5: Crazy let's finish this story before asking my husband to co.

1391
01:04:23,120 --> 01:04:25,760
Speaker 5: Sign they didn't even attempt to take out the loan

1392
01:04:25,880 --> 01:04:28,800
Speaker 5: for the home on their. OWN i assume they expect

1393
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:31,320
Speaker 5: that having him on the loan will give them carte

1394
01:04:31,360 --> 01:04:34,680
Speaker 5: blanche on destroying the home or defaulting on the, loan

1395
01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:37,280
Speaker 5: because he will pay in order not to mess up

1396
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:40,320
Speaker 5: his own credit and. Assets his family doesn't care for

1397
01:04:40,400 --> 01:04:42,960
Speaker 5: me and are likely jealous of the LIFE i have

1398
01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:45,640
Speaker 5: with my husband and how they get less from. Him

1399
01:04:46,040 --> 01:04:49,040
Speaker 5: though my husband maintains the, finances we bring in roughly

1400
01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:51,240
Speaker 5: the same, income so this is not a case of

1401
01:04:51,280 --> 01:04:55,000
Speaker 5: my husband having full control over financial. Choices AM i

1402
01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:58,640
Speaker 5: the a hole? Again? No, no we have some. Comments

1403
01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:02,440
Speaker 5: read those. Comments, one, no not the a. Hole he

1404
01:05:02,480 --> 01:05:05,280
Speaker 5: has just committed you and your family consisting right now

1405
01:05:05,320 --> 01:05:07,479
Speaker 5: of you and your, husband to a million dollar debt

1406
01:05:07,520 --> 01:05:10,160
Speaker 5: in an asset he has absolutely no ownership stake. In

1407
01:05:10,560 --> 01:05:13,560
Speaker 5: this is not an. Investment it's assuming the responsibility of

1408
01:05:13,600 --> 01:05:17,160
Speaker 5: paying for their. House it is grossly irresponsible on his.

1409
01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:20,439
Speaker 5: Part and here is the worst. Part your husband has

1410
01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:23,640
Speaker 5: incurred a debt in many, States california And New york,

1411
01:05:23,720 --> 01:05:26,800
Speaker 5: included And i'm assuming from the description the home and

1412
01:05:26,880 --> 01:05:29,920
Speaker 5: therefore the debt is In california Or New. York debt

1413
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:33,000
Speaker 5: is a community. Property if you go out and finance a,

1414
01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:36,200
Speaker 5: car your husband is responsible for half that, debt whether

1415
01:05:36,240 --> 01:05:38,960
Speaker 5: he's signed on the dotted line or. Not put another,

1416
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:42,000
Speaker 5: way if your husband were to suddenly pass away, tomorrow

1417
01:05:42,240 --> 01:05:44,560
Speaker 5: you would still be on the hook for that. Mortgage

1418
01:05:44,960 --> 01:05:48,520
Speaker 5: this was an historically bad decision on his. Part you

1419
01:05:48,640 --> 01:05:51,840
Speaker 5: need to be contacting an attorney to protect. Yourself to

1420
01:05:51,880 --> 01:05:55,800
Speaker 5: say absolutely nothing of any community property assets you and

1421
01:05:55,840 --> 01:05:58,880
Speaker 5: your husband own in the event of a, divorce barring

1422
01:05:58,920 --> 01:06:02,439
Speaker 5: an incredibly generous act from your. Husband your combined net

1423
01:06:02,480 --> 01:06:06,280
Speaker 5: worth just effectively declined by a million dollars unless he

1424
01:06:06,480 --> 01:06:10,680
Speaker 5: accepts full and unconditional responsibility for the debt during your divorce.

1425
01:06:10,760 --> 01:06:14,600
Speaker 5: Proceedings he royally forked you both with. THIS a reply,

1426
01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:16,800
Speaker 5: says and she needs at least a million dollar life

1427
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:19,640
Speaker 5: insurance policy on. Him that's not a. Joke she needs

1428
01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:22,360
Speaker 5: to do that, immediately like as in within the next few.

1429
01:06:22,440 --> 01:06:25,640
Speaker 5: Days divorce takes. Time if he passes away before they get,

1430
01:06:25,640 --> 01:06:28,680
Speaker 5: divorced she could be facing massive. Issues, hope he should

1431
01:06:28,680 --> 01:06:31,640
Speaker 5: probably go with two million. Minimum husband needs to pay

1432
01:06:31,640 --> 01:06:34,000
Speaker 5: for it until the divorce is completed and take all

1433
01:06:34,040 --> 01:06:37,120
Speaker 5: debt liability during the. Divorce hopefully he doesn't go a

1434
01:06:37,120 --> 01:06:40,800
Speaker 5: spine during the divorce. Proceedings they absolutely will default on the.

1435
01:06:40,800 --> 01:06:43,400
Speaker 5: Loan husband absolutely will be on the hook for an

1436
01:06:43,440 --> 01:06:47,200
Speaker 5: asset he has no ownership. Of and there is another comment.

1437
01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:50,520
Speaker 5: HERE i think you'd be justified in divorcing him over.

1438
01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:53,840
Speaker 5: This it's as bad as cheated in some. Ways, honestly it's.

1439
01:06:53,920 --> 01:06:57,120
Speaker 5: Worse he is completely broken your trust and needs to

1440
01:06:57,160 --> 01:07:00,480
Speaker 5: earn it. Back if you are even inclined to give

1441
01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:03,000
Speaker 5: him the. Opportunity you only get one, shot and that

1442
01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:04,840
Speaker 5: is the end of that. Story AND i agree a

1443
01:07:04,920 --> 01:07:10,240
Speaker 5: million dollars a million dollars and just just him, saying you're.

1444
01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:13,480
Speaker 5: LUCKY i told, you, yeah that would be the thing

1445
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:16,120
Speaker 5: that would be the final. Nail i'm already over the.

1446
01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:20,480
Speaker 6: Edge but that's him like like laughing at. You over the.

1447
01:07:20,600 --> 01:07:23,360
Speaker 5: Edge we're about to have a, kid we're trying for a,

1448
01:07:23,440 --> 01:07:26,720
Speaker 5: kid we're trying to DO, ivf which is already, expensive

1449
01:07:26,800 --> 01:07:29,600
Speaker 5: and then we have to raise a. Child and these

1450
01:07:29,680 --> 01:07:32,880
Speaker 5: people are and it's not like it's, like, well it's

1451
01:07:32,920 --> 01:07:34,760
Speaker 5: not very likely that this is going to, happen and

1452
01:07:34,960 --> 01:07:37,960
Speaker 5: it's a small amount of, risk but still a million

1453
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:41,720
Speaker 5: dollars worth of. Risk these people just thrash the house

1454
01:07:41,760 --> 01:07:44,440
Speaker 5: so heavy you can. Go it sounds like their relative was,

1455
01:07:44,480 --> 01:07:46,920
Speaker 5: Like i'm selling it just so you have to.

1456
01:07:47,040 --> 01:07:49,200
Speaker 6: Leave your husband's an.

1457
01:07:49,240 --> 01:07:49,560
Speaker 5: Idiot