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Speaker 1: Who's that knocking at the door. It's all your friends,

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Speaker 1: you filthy horse. Your husband's gone and we've got books

3
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Speaker 1: and a bottle of wine to kill.

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Speaker 2: It's Hollywood, it's books, it's gossip.

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Speaker 3: I'm shook. It's memoirs Martini.

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Speaker 2: Celebrity Book Club. Read it while it's hot.

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Speaker 4: Celebrity Book Club.

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Speaker 2: I'll tell your secrets.

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Speaker 1: We won't talk celebrity books. No, boys are a loud

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Speaker 1: cele book say it loud and poud. Celebrity Book Club.

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Speaker 2: Buzz me in. I brought the queer vow. Hey, best friends,

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Speaker 2: how are you?

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling so sexually satisfied and mature and you're innocent

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Speaker 1: at the same time.

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Speaker 2: I'm feeling so sexually unsatisfied, and I have so many

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Speaker 2: questions about why I feel that way.

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Speaker 1: Well, you came to the right place, because that's right.

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Speaker 1: Club Kids. It's the second annual.

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Speaker 2: Maybe third. Who knows, Honey, I don't even know how

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Speaker 2: old I am or how many years I've been married.

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Speaker 1: It's the club kid love line twenty twenty four.

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Speaker 2: Honey, Kiss Kiss, Okay, so crack open the ben and

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Speaker 2: Jerry's and some cheap champagne and like fuck your.

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Speaker 1: App melt some dove chocolate all over some strawberries and

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Speaker 1: shove them. You ass is a surprise for your third order.

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Speaker 2: Just like the most whatever sushi in your neighborhood. Get

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Speaker 2: completely nude, cover yourself in the sushi wave your roommate

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Speaker 2: to come home, but you have a crush on.

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Speaker 1: Cut to my roommate walking in on me eating the

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Speaker 1: heart shape pizza from Papa John's alone e I wanted

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Speaker 1: to kill myself.

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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yes, our illustrious pucer w masters on the line, hidrby.

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Speaker 2: Hello, I haven't heard any of the calls.

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Speaker 1: And she has selected the cream of the crop. If

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Speaker 1: yours was not selected, we'll.

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Speaker 2: Be doing it another time. We'll be you're also awesome sauce.

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Speaker 1: We'll be gating in the VIP lounge this very week.

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Speaker 2: And that doesn't mean on Friday you're not fream of

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Speaker 2: the crop.

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Speaker 1: No, it actually means you're like too hot for TV.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 6: I have to say all of the calls were so

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Speaker 6: so so good this time. It was really hard to

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Speaker 6: pick which ones to air.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so kudos, club kids, you did yourselves.

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Speaker 6: Okay, are you already for the first call?

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Speaker 1: I'm ready to go. Let's start dispensing some advice and

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Speaker 1: solving some problems and crimes.

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Speaker 5: Thea Stepan and Lily a big fan of the pod.

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Speaker 5: I was just calling for some advice on having a

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Speaker 5: friend with benefits when you're both in your mid twenties

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Speaker 5: and you both are living with your parents. Now we

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Speaker 5: are like living in rural Vermont, so you know, the

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Speaker 5: ideas we've tossed around so far are like truck sex,

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Speaker 5: but you can only go so far with that. So

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Speaker 5: I'm just helping for some fun ideas about like possibly

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Speaker 5: public or different fun sex ideas when you don't have

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Speaker 5: a home to bring your buddy and we're not trying

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Speaker 5: to date, so unfortunately I can't be introducing him to

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Speaker 5: my parents. But you know, I'm looking at your creatives here.

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Speaker 5: Girls got to eat, you know anyways, thanks.

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Speaker 2: So much by I'm imagining it's like a car heart

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Speaker 2: beanie fem and like a car heart butch and they're

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Speaker 2: like twenty five and living greater Berlinton.

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure that why you think she's less me.

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Speaker 2: I just for my aunt and just she said girls

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Speaker 2: got to eat in this way that's like pussy, right

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Speaker 2: or just enough Okay, can I say something crazy? You're

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Speaker 2: in your mid twenties, like this whole I don't want

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Speaker 2: to introduce you to my parents and they can't have

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Speaker 2: sex at our house.

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Speaker 1: I get that, though, are you know?

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Speaker 2: I mean I totally get it.

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Speaker 1: I remember that. I mean I introduced a lot of

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Speaker 1: boyfriends my parents in my twenties, but I kind of

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Speaker 1: didn't like it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not fun, But I guess I'm just kind

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Speaker 2: of like, do all the public things. I think movie

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Speaker 2: theaters will fun, movie theater sex.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm still just kind of laughing about this

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Speaker 1: whole situation. You've got a friends with benefits rural Vermont,

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Speaker 1: rural Vermont. You know, I love Vermont and I love you.

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Speaker 2: Have a home there. You actually have the opposite of

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Speaker 2: problem where You're like, I have three homes where, but

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Speaker 2: I don't want to introduce my friends with benefits to

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Speaker 2: my three homes.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know where she lives in Vermont,

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Speaker 1: but does maybe one of your parents' homes have a

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Speaker 1: sauna or is it part of like a community that

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Speaker 1: has access to a sauna. I mean, I guess like

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Speaker 1: it's a fun place.

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Speaker 2: Couldn't you be sexy? And so like parents go to bed.

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Speaker 1: There is a sneaking contemporary art museum in Waitsfield that's

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Speaker 1: never open, and I bet they have a bathroom. So

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Speaker 1: that's another thing.

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Speaker 2: You guess. There's tons of businesses with bathrooms. And it's

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Speaker 2: like really cold in Vermont right now.

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Speaker 1: I just think winter is really the issue. It's interesting

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Speaker 1: how she pronounced truck is trock.

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Speaker 2: Truck sucks when he goes that far.

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Speaker 1: That's another sign that to me, she's kind of like

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Speaker 1: a straight girl.

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Speaker 2: Chop, but it's not also kind of lesbian, like huh,

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Speaker 2: we're going to have somewhat draw.

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Speaker 1: You're just being weird in Canadian, but I don't think

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Speaker 1: that's actually like the Canadian lets me pronanuncy.

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Speaker 2: I do think, but this will get expensive. I do think,

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Speaker 2: like renting a motelephone night is fun.

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Speaker 1: Okay. I guess counterpoint is a little bit just like

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Speaker 1: why are you so hell bent on not introducing him

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Speaker 1: to your parents?

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Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. And it's like he or she

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Speaker 2: or they, we don't know what if like you just

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Speaker 2: come in, You're like, hey, this is my friend upstairs.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to be so dinner.

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Speaker 1: Or it's also just like I don't know grow a parent.

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Speaker 1: It's like when I first started dating my current boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: he awkwardly met my parents very early on in the

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Speaker 1: relationship because he was working on Nantucket and I was

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Speaker 1: like staying with my parents on Nantucket, kind of a

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Speaker 1: similar situation. And I said to my mom, I was like, listen, like,

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Speaker 1: this is this guy. I did not say that like

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Speaker 1: we're friends with benefits. I didn't say we're fucking. I

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Speaker 1: was just like, he's not my boyfriend, So don't like

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Speaker 1: say that word around him. Don't you know, make a

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Speaker 1: big deal out of it. You are going to meet him,

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Speaker 1: We are going to go to dinner, because let me

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Speaker 1: tell you what you're missing out on. You're missing out

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Speaker 1: on free dinners. Your parents could be taking you to

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Speaker 1: American flatbread with your fuck buddy, and then you can

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Speaker 1: still go fuck in the bathroom if you need to.

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Speaker 2: So why do I feel like these parents are not

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Speaker 2: so American flatbad American flatbreads, And.

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Speaker 1: There's not a lot of restaurants and Vermont, they have

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Speaker 1: to be dinner at some point. It's like they have

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Speaker 1: to eat.

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Speaker 2: And it's like if they're not to eat an American flatbread.

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Speaker 2: Maybe they're making like a tie noodle.

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Speaker 1: Either way, it's just like it's called dinner.

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Speaker 2: And they again, parents go to bed, and you're just like, oh,

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Speaker 2: like Casey and Robin are coming over.

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Speaker 1: And I think you can just literally like you're twenty six,

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Speaker 1: I think you can have an honor conversation with parents

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Speaker 1: that's not that revealing and say, listen, this isn't my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend or my partner, or may they friend or my girlfriend.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't sound so struggling in the call.

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Speaker 1: No, she's not like nervous to talk to us, so

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Speaker 1: why should.

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Speaker 2: She almost turned on? Yeah, and honestly, and maybe your

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Speaker 2: parents will open up to you, but their sexual activities

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Speaker 2: with each other, that would be fun.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure there's swinging with some other couple from Rutland

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Speaker 1: or something.

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Speaker 2: So I think, bottom line, move this into a sexy

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Speaker 2: kind of like ooh, we're being sneaky in high school,

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Speaker 2: like oh, we can't be too loud, we can't wake

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Speaker 2: up my dad, wrong up.

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Speaker 1: Although one last option, you buy a train ticket to

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Speaker 1: Saint Albans and you just like ainger each other and

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Speaker 1: your passenger seats and like it's like four hours there

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Speaker 1: four hours back.

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Speaker 2: You never get off.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't cross the border.

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Speaker 2: You get off, but you don't go off fellow. All right, great,

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Speaker 2: next call.

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Speaker 6: Okay, so I actually am switching it up. I had

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Speaker 6: a different call next, but after the conversation, I feel

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Speaker 6: like this one is very applicable to what you guys

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Speaker 6: are saying. Yes, throw out the r Derby perfect love

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Speaker 6: doing that.

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Speaker 7: Okay, hey those friends longtime listared not first time caller,

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Speaker 7: but I wanted to get your advice. You know, I

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Speaker 7: think a lot about how of sitcoms or Sex and

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Speaker 7: the City people are always having these kind of short,

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Speaker 7: one month's relationships and they're bringing this random person to

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Speaker 7: hang out with their friends, and I can't really figure.

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Speaker 3: Out how that is possible.

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Speaker 7: I either feel like there's someone that I've met that

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Speaker 7: I'm sleeping with and they're completely separate from the rest

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Speaker 7: of my life, or I'm fully married to this person.

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Speaker 7: We live together and they come to every single day

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Speaker 7: with my friends, get to that kind of chill place,

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Speaker 7: being like, oh, yeah, here's this girl. We've been on

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Speaker 7: three days. I'm bringing her to have dinner with my

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Speaker 7: best friends. Is it me or is it just a

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Speaker 7: cultural thing?

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Speaker 3: That's shifted.

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Speaker 2: In this situation.

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Speaker 1: Actually, the other day, somebody you went on three dates

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Speaker 1: with someone no, I.

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Speaker 2: Was pushing for a friend okay, to introduce me to

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Speaker 2: her non boyfriend okay, and to hang out with him

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Speaker 2: and his sister and her boyfriend and all go do

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Speaker 2: some sort of sport a family. I guess I'm just

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Speaker 2: saying like, it's actually a gift to your friends, because

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Speaker 2: it's fun for them. I think to see the person

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Speaker 2: you've been on three dates with for sure had a

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Speaker 2: hang and not like to put so much pressure on

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Speaker 2: this dinner to be like, well, now that you're having

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Speaker 2: my friends were married.

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Speaker 1: I do think that there's a keyword in there, which dinner.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, let's think take dinner out of it.

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Speaker 1: I think dinner is where the pressure comes in because

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Speaker 1: everyone's like, oh my god, read for dinner. We're feeding

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Speaker 1: him to the.

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Speaker 2: Wolves and being like guys would be nice.

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Speaker 1: I mean, bringing a straight guy into a ravenous pack

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Speaker 1: of cheekas is like always like terrifying him. Yes, but

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Speaker 1: he'll live.

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Speaker 2: This sounds like a guy bringing girls.

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Speaker 1: Sound like a guy bringing a girl to maybe his

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Speaker 1: like queer friend, his awesome dear friends, like apartment to

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Speaker 1: hang out, and I would say that, don't be afraid

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Speaker 1: to bring her to like a casual bagel brunch or

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Speaker 1: like movie night.

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Speaker 2: Right, or maybe like a fashion show.

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Speaker 1: Oh like an event.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like fashion afters.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Actually, let's rank it. I think event is the

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Speaker 1: easiest because you're there, You're just like and there's so

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Speaker 1: many people and you could know someone there. It's like

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Speaker 1: social and like you can do something after, you can

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Speaker 1: peel off and do something separately. After it's always oh,

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Speaker 1: we're getting food, We're all going to Vietnammese with like

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Speaker 1: six people.

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Speaker 2: And guys be like, oh, we're actually going to go

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Speaker 2: meet her friends uptown.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So I think event first.

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Speaker 2: Second is bar hang slash like kickback, like a party

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Speaker 2: of like.

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Speaker 1: More bar hang is. It's like a close group of

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Speaker 1: friends doesn't really do like scheduled bar hangs because that's weird,

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Speaker 1: like you and me, No, I guess yeah, you're not

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Speaker 1: just being like, hey, we're all getting drinks at six

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Speaker 1: pm at the Deuce on Thursday. It's like that's not

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Speaker 1: something we do. So like, yes, bring her like to

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Speaker 1: a bar like if people are out, Okay.

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Speaker 2: This is straight people, so maybe they're all watching, for instance,

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Speaker 2: quote unquote the game.

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Speaker 1: Oh wait, that's the separate reference I'm making TV from

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Speaker 1: like the early nineties.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely not, I'm joking about how straight people watch sports.

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Speaker 1: Oh the game, the game, the Big Game, the Big Game,

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Speaker 1: the Big Game.

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Speaker 8: Yes.

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Speaker 1: No, And that I'm putting in the category two, which

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Speaker 1: is intimate apartment hangs or.

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Speaker 2: Bar hags if you're someone who's skied.

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Speaker 1: Uels, which is watching the football game, watching the Oscars,

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Speaker 1: the Golden Globes, go warts, the.

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Speaker 2: Creative Arts Emmys. Hey, a group of my friends and

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Speaker 2: not that close friends are all watching the Creative Art semis.

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Speaker 2: I want to come by, bring anyone.

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Speaker 1: And then last of the ranking is dinner. Like, dinner

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Speaker 1: is the most high pressure and the most scary for everyone.

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Speaker 2: So I think where the friends are, Like, oh, now

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Speaker 2: we're gonna have to ask a lot of questions. Here's

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Speaker 2: an example. On my first date with my girlfriend, she

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Speaker 2: brought me to a bar hang, two different bar hangs

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Speaker 2: in the same night. One I thought with her friends,

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Speaker 2: and I thought they were her best friends. Turns out

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Speaker 2: they were her Risdy Summer Program friends. Like she I

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Speaker 2: was in my mind, like, it's kind of randomly meeting

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Speaker 2: her for best friends right now, and then we left

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Speaker 2: and she was like, Oh, I haven't seen those girls

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Speaker 2: in years, and like, I've never seen those girls in

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Speaker 2: my entire life.

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Speaker 1: Okay, that's cool. So maybe it would have been better

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Speaker 1: if you knew beforehand that it was less pressure because

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Speaker 1: you were being so like bow.

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Speaker 3: Tie and.

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Speaker 2: Well because I was actually coming from an art event

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Speaker 2: that you were hosting before. It was a night of

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Speaker 2: casual friend events. Yeah, so I was kind of like that.

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Speaker 2: Never cool.

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Speaker 1: You're pippin and popping. You're pipping and bopp him.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, gallery another event, Yes, similar to fashion.

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Speaker 1: So I would say to our dear caller, whose identity

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Speaker 1: is a total mystery to me, I would say events first,

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Speaker 1: intimid hank, second, dinner is last.

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Speaker 2: And also, like, I guess, ask yourself, why are you afraid?

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Speaker 2: Why are you afraid? Kind of and like, is it

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Speaker 2: because you really like this girl and you're afraid of

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Speaker 2: the wolves.

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Speaker 1: Or maybe don't really like this girl.

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Speaker 2: Or suddenly it will become in your mind, it will

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Speaker 2: suddenly become serious if you go to this intimates.

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Speaker 1: Actually, I do think that's actually at the core of

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Speaker 1: this scholar's question, because he's referencing like Miranda, like you know,

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Speaker 1: dating that cartoonist for three weeks and he's at whatever

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Speaker 1: lunch with Carrie or.

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Speaker 2: And I think he respects his friend's opinions so so

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Speaker 2: much and he's honestly in love with their opinions.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's scary for him to subject them to that.

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Speaker 1: But what he likes about the Miranda situation or like say,

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Speaker 1: you know, Jack, like sleeping with some guy and then

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Speaker 1: he's having breakfast with them all the next morning unwilling grace,

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Speaker 1: is that it's like there is a casualness there right,

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Speaker 1: so wants to keep it casual.

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Speaker 2: And it's New York City. Oh but you know sometimes

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Speaker 2: that casual that mister right now, that now just folts

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Speaker 2: right away.

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Speaker 1: I would say it's not something the last callor where

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Speaker 1: it's like you know what, you can have a conversation

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Speaker 1: with your friends and don't be frightened. Tell them you guys,

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Speaker 1: this is casual, keep it shell And obviously then we

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Speaker 1: would be like stickering in the corner and just be

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Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think everyone needs to say keep it chill and

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Speaker 2: like talk more. It's not nineteen twenties. Okay, if you

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Speaker 2: meet someone's lover. It's not instantly a wedding date.

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Speaker 3: Greed.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Next call Darby, amazing curation, Next.

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Speaker 6: Call perfect, I'm glad. Okay, here is our next caller.

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Speaker 3: Hi.

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Speaker 5: So, I'm a mom of two young children in my

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Speaker 5: mid thirties and married to the man whom I love deeply,

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Speaker 5: and I love my family very much. I recently have

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Speaker 5: been very attracted to a young woman not much younger

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Speaker 5: than me, two years younger, and I've told my husband

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Speaker 5: about it. We've kind of talked it through. I have

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Speaker 5: not need my feelings clear to this person, and he,

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Speaker 5: my husband's kind of like a little bit comfortable with

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Speaker 5: the idea, but not entirely. I don't know why I'm

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Speaker 5: calling him, just wondering if you have any advice.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I love you, guys, and I really just love hearing

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Speaker 5: your voice every week.

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Speaker 9: So thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: Bye, love you too, thank you, love you too.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for sharing this sexy actually na secret.

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Speaker 2: Well you've taken I would say some of the heat

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Speaker 2: even out of the crush already, because she talked about

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Speaker 2: her husband and he was probably like, Okay.

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Speaker 1: I am a modern I am.

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Speaker 2: Modern man, and that is it's sexy to me, but

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Speaker 2: not too sexy because I also respect you.

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Speaker 1: I'm open to honesty and I want to honor this

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Speaker 1: relationship and it's truth wherever that truth may take us.

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Speaker 2: I kind of can already see if you did act

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Speaker 2: on this crush or like it's kind I see it

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Speaker 2: kind of ending badly for our color.

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Speaker 1: Do you think they're both too like low pony brunettes.

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Speaker 2: I just think it's like she's gonna probably like have

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Speaker 2: more of a rush of emotions, but maybe it will

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Speaker 2: like activate you know something.

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Speaker 1: I feel like there's always the reverses possible, too, where

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Speaker 1: the girl that she's into like has all these feelings

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Speaker 1: and is like less seen after this object she can't have,

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Speaker 1: right this married woman, And then the married woman like

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Speaker 1: dabbles and is actually like, you know what, this was

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Speaker 1: actually kind of just like a fantasy. I needed to

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Speaker 1: traverse briefly, and.

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Speaker 2: Or they hook up. The married woman is so obsessed

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Speaker 2: breaks up her marriage, and then the other woman is like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I wasn't like asking for all that. I'm not ready

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Speaker 2: to be the mom who stepped up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh god, I could really go in.

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Speaker 2: And I also like, you do want you to have

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Speaker 2: an affair and like maybe like it is about being

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Speaker 2: so modern and being like telling the person and just

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Speaker 2: maybe also that's erotic enough and see what happens.

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Speaker 1: I'm torn because part of me thinks that she should

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Speaker 1: have just had this affair and never told the husband.

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Speaker 2: And that.

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Speaker 1: It would have been the sexiest part and she could

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Speaker 1: have gotten out of her system or discovered that maybe

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Speaker 1: she actually is more into girls and then ended her marriage. Anyway,

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00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:04,120
Speaker 1: But like, is the telling of it kind of like

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Speaker 1: deroticizing it? Or I'm also so proud of You've been honest,

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Speaker 1: and maybe having these conversations is the best way forward.

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Speaker 1: And maybe there are threesomes on the horizon. Maybe there

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Speaker 1: is an open marriage on the horizon, and.

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Speaker 2: Then you'll have to deal with whatever he wants.

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Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, in the open marriage, and you're gonna

377
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Speaker 1: have to sort of like allow everyone's desires to come

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Speaker 1: to the surface.

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Speaker 2: I guess the question is like, yeah, like so you

380
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Speaker 2: and your husband are processing it. He probably is like

381
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Speaker 2: it would hurt me, but I also don't want to

382
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Speaker 2: like stop you.

383
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I'm sure he's a feminist, Yeah.

384
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Speaker 2: Definitely a feminist. I think it's also like I imagine

385
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Speaker 2: like your two young kids in your thirties. Everything's perfect,

386
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Speaker 2: but you're like, wait a.

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Speaker 1: Second, Well, I know it's what's really going on in

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Speaker 1: the marriage, right.

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Speaker 2: I think it's just like she's probably getting her kind

390
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Speaker 2: of like VavaVoom back. Maybe the kids are now like

391
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Speaker 2: three or four.

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Speaker 1: Right, and you've gone through this hell of diapers for

393
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Speaker 1: two and a half years, and you're starting to regain

394
00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:04,120
Speaker 1: your sanity and like we gain a normal sleep cycle,

395
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Speaker 1: and like the kids are starting to go to like

396
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Speaker 1: preschool or something, and you're just like, Okay, oh wait, I.

397
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Speaker 2: Am a human sexual being and you want that affirmation

398
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Speaker 2: of like not the person you like stir at twenty

399
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Speaker 2: four hours a day.

400
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Speaker 7: No.

401
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:19,000
Speaker 2: So I guess what we're saying is like maybe just

402
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Speaker 2: like continue like flirting with this woman who's like three

403
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Speaker 2: years younger than you, and keep flirting, keep flirting, and like, honestly,

404
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Speaker 2: just see what happened.

405
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Speaker 1: I would say, keep flirting, and also like, yeah, I

406
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Speaker 1: mean here's what I don't think. I don't think that

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Speaker 1: like this other woman is like the love of your life.

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Speaker 2: No, that's right. I don't think and I don't think

409
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Speaker 2: you're leaving your husband honestly for maybe she.

410
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Speaker 1: Is, but maybe she's leaving her husband because she wants

411
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Speaker 1: to leave her husband.

412
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Speaker 2: Yes, you know, words for a different one.

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Speaker 1: Something that actually my good friend Judge Judy said getther

414
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Speaker 1: day was like, don't leave someone because you want to

415
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Speaker 1: be with someone else. Believe someone, if you're gonna be

416
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 1: happier being alone, that's actually genius advice. See, it's like,

417
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Speaker 1: so you have to be ready to be like I'm

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00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,359
Speaker 1: actually better off alone than I'm with this person. So

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Speaker 1: like the marriage, like whether or not that's gonna work out,

420
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Speaker 1: that's kind of its own thing.

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00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you're like, oh, it'd actually be happier even

422
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Speaker 2: if this younger woman breaks up with me and I'm

423
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Speaker 2: like a single mom and I'm like co parenting with

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Speaker 2: my awesome femily.

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Speaker 1: But I could see like this flirtation kind of like

426
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Speaker 1: continuing to simmer, and it actually opens up a little

427
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Speaker 1: sexual part of her you know pie chart that ends

428
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Speaker 1: up in her dming somewhat a third party, and then

429
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Speaker 1: maybe she fucks that person male or female, and the

430
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Speaker 1: rocks get off and that's like a little bit more

431
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Speaker 1: self contained and like not a big deal.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I was gonna say kind of bring alto that

433
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Speaker 2: eroticism into your marriage, and you're like whispering these fantasies

434
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:57,199
Speaker 2: in your husband's ear. Hmm yeah, and like kind of

435
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Speaker 2: imagining what you and this woman would.

436
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Speaker 1: Do to get Fantasy construction is such a major element

437
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:03,880
Speaker 1: of this because it's like.

438
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Speaker 2: She is clearly building a fantasy, building fantasy, building fantasy.

439
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,600
Speaker 1: And one thing that I tell a lot of my

440
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Speaker 1: clients who are in long term relationships, if you do

441
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 1: at a certain point when things are cool or staid

442
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 1: or boring or distant, you do need to start letting

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Speaker 1: your partner in on your fantasies and really being explicit

444
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 1: with them about what it is that you want.

445
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 2: Tickling feather, feather play. It's just would just literally be

446
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:35,399
Speaker 2: remembering this one any special with a sex therapist where

447
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,760
Speaker 2: it was like a really awkward Indiana couple who were

448
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,719
Speaker 2: married having a lot of trouble getting into it and

449
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:46,680
Speaker 2: they did feather play and like powder dusters and yeah no,

450
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,479
Speaker 2: they were both like, oh, these feathers worked.

451
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,080
Speaker 1: But I guess maybe my advice for you and all

452
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:56,280
Speaker 1: of this is try to stay light, try to like

453
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,520
Speaker 1: find what's pleasurable about the crush, Like crushes are great.

454
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:02,720
Speaker 1: Everyone should have crushes. Like find what's pleasurable about your

455
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 1: own like flirtatious power and your e eroticism. Find what's

456
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 1: pleasure about your marriage and that sex life. Just kind

457
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 1: of like find the pleasure to find the lightness and

458
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:11,720
Speaker 1: stay in that area.

459
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,840
Speaker 2: Like maybe you and this woman just like go out

460
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,560
Speaker 2: on the town. It's not a date, it's just like

461
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,720
Speaker 2: go hang out and feel the charge electricity.

462
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,560
Speaker 1: I'm plugged in already. Hello anyway, good luck collar.

463
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I really want to hear.

464
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,919
Speaker 1: I'm excited for you and your next chapter.

465
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,760
Speaker 2: Stay blast. Wow.

466
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:34,560
Speaker 6: I feel like I learned a lot wisdom from a bus.

467
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 1: I feel free to take that back into your home life, Derby,

468
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:37,719
Speaker 1: Thank you.

469
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:55,720
Speaker 2: Mm hmm okay, next call.

470
00:22:56,400 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 10: Hey, guys, my question is what's the approval amount of

471
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,359
Speaker 10: ball hair. I tend to keep my tubes kind of

472
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 10: long because I think it's lends a kind of Mediterranean

473
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 10: flair to my otherwise very Irish German frame. But with

474
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 10: ball hair, it's a little bit different. I feel like

475
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:17,120
Speaker 10: there's like a grossness factor there. No, but like at

476
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 10: the same time, I feel like gay guys tend to

477
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:22,480
Speaker 10: use ball play. It's like an escape valve when they're not.

478
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,879
Speaker 11: Hardy enough to keep sucking dicks.

479
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 10: So I don't mind like keeping a warning there.

480
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:28,320
Speaker 3: I don't know.

481
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:33,639
Speaker 10: It's a complicated, complicated topic, so any advice would be

482
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:34,440
Speaker 10: much appreciated.

483
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,679
Speaker 1: This, I mean, Lily, obviously, I'll let you.

484
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,879
Speaker 2: Feel this money, yeah, please, but say what you know

485
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 2: and then I'll go in with kind of mass parties.

486
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 1: I mean, this brings up a really interesting topic of

487
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:48,359
Speaker 1: balls made a scapeball for when you're too hard or

488
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,399
Speaker 1: not hard enough because you've been like doing too much

489
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,639
Speaker 1: drugs and like drinking too much. I'm kind of like,

490
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 1: I've never experienced this where you're like can't get hard

491
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 1: and then everyone's like, Okay, well we's all go to

492
00:23:58,600 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 1: the ball because it's ball.

493
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 2: We used to be sponsored by Manscaped, which was a

494
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:09,000
Speaker 2: shark tank razor for balls, and it was about like

495
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:12,320
Speaker 2: shaving your pubes and like using like amazing oils on

496
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:16,840
Speaker 2: your pubic hair. I think literally, if you're feeling also

497
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 2: like you want to be a hairier guy in this,

498
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 2: I feel like it's actually giving him confidence because he's

499
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 2: feeling pale.

500
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 1: And I'll just tell you this ball hair is not gross.

501
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 1: All hair is good. There's one thing I hate. It

502
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 1: is pretty much any maintenance of puper are at all.

503
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,879
Speaker 1: I think like trimming is gross. I hate guys have

504
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,960
Speaker 1: like shaved in the stubble and then it's always like

505
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:34,840
Speaker 1: rubbery and it's.

506
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 2: I don't thinking is.

507
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 1: Like such a little bit of trimming is fine, but

508
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 1: it should look natural, not.

509
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:46,360
Speaker 2: Like the hedges. I think when I see bald men

510
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,680
Speaker 2: down there, I think that's disgusting.

511
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:51,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, and if you aren't that, good for you. There

512
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,280
Speaker 1: is one scenario that I've seen. I've seen this in

513
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 1: real life, is what guys will shave just their balls

514
00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:59,679
Speaker 1: and so they still leave everything else there, but they

515
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 1: shave the balls. It achieves an almost alien like quality

516
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 1: that's kind of silken. Yeah, like kind of creepy and

517
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,640
Speaker 1: erotic in this way. So if you want to go

518
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 1: for that, maybe try that, like fully shaved with the razor.

519
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,440
Speaker 1: It's also that terrifies me because you know, if one

520
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,600
Speaker 1: slip down there and honey, you're never having kids. But

521
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,320
Speaker 1: I would say, you know, just like trimming, just don't bother,

522
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:25,400
Speaker 1: just let it roam wild and free. If I found them,

523
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 1: I would not be deterred. I'd be quite excited.

524
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 2: Except yourself. Yeah, but trim if you like a little bit,

525
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 2: if you do want to feel.

526
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:34,639
Speaker 1: Like the main reason you would ever trim is you

527
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 1: would trim around the base to make the dick look bigger.

528
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 2: That's what I'm thinking of. But I don't see about

529
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 2: specific ball hair.

530
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 1: Yes, so there is hair that's actually on the balls.

531
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,959
Speaker 2: I'm thinking of, kind of like the general muff.

532
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 1: I'm specifically talking about balls, you know, when I do

533
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,560
Speaker 1: Mate from his Hamburger trick and then I'm like, these

534
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 1: are the sesame seeds in the bun?

535
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, that actually is so weird to trim that. Yeah, God,

536
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 2: I'm so turned on. I wonder what our married mother

537
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 2: of two would think of this.

538
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:07,160
Speaker 1: Call thinking about balls now anyway, Yeah, I would say

539
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 1: keep long and strong, honey.

540
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:14,400
Speaker 12: Next hall, Hi, Stephen and Lily. I have a question

541
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,880
Speaker 12: that I feel like you guys could have some commentary on,

542
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 12: considering you are cultural critics. So basically, I am a

543
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 12: twenty three year old New York based lesbian and I

544
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 12: several months ago was in a four month relationship with

545
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 12: this older woman. She was thirty nine when I was

546
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:43,119
Speaker 12: twenty two. She was a painter from Austria, and I

547
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 12: toltally fell in love with her. We almost got engaged,

548
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:51,640
Speaker 12: and it became like a very toxic relationship, and then

549
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:56,200
Speaker 12: our relationship ended in flames basically, And now I'm trying

550
00:26:56,240 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 12: to start dating again. I promise I'm like not moving

551
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:02,520
Speaker 12: on like that fast. I gave it a couple of months.

552
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 12: But I feel like if I mentioned this two people

553
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 12: I'm like going out with that, they're gonna think it's

554
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 12: really weird.

555
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 13: And I mean, I don't have.

556
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 12: To talk about my exes, but I feel like this

557
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:14,920
Speaker 12: is one that has sort of like been a defining

558
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,880
Speaker 12: relationship for me. I don't know, like, do you think

559
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 12: it's weird to tell people this. I'm also writing a

560
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 12: play about it that's like honestly kind of like weird

561
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,680
Speaker 12: and creepy, and so I feel like, you know, if

562
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 12: I am going out with people, I want to invite

563
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,840
Speaker 12: them to my play. Like obviously, maybe I'm taking it

564
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:35,439
Speaker 12: too seriously. Maybe this is like happening all around me

565
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 12: all the time, But how do you think I should

566
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:40,440
Speaker 12: present it to my community? By the way, I feel

567
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,680
Speaker 12: like a lot of my lesbian friends and like queer

568
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,359
Speaker 12: friends were super against it. They said it was like

569
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 12: a really bad thing to do. Yeah, what can I say.

570
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 1: When she said my community mean like people she's dating.

571
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:01,400
Speaker 2: No, I think she means like, Okay, one up says

572
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 2: that it's like, as cultural critics, we should answer this question. Okay,

573
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,440
Speaker 2: here's the thing. Most other people are going to be

574
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 2: dating are also probably writing plays about her ex.

575
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 1: That's like, you're a good company.

576
00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:21,159
Speaker 2: Yeah. I just think like, one, you're twenty two and

577
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 2: you dated something for four months, you don't need to

578
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:27,440
Speaker 2: waste Yeah, just get on lex and moving moving.

579
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 1: You're twenty two.

580
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 2: It's like, that's the point of being twenty two dating

581
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 2: a toxic thirty nine year old Austrian painter.

582
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 1: I never have dated like anyone older than me.

583
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 7: I know.

584
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 2: I'm also obsessed with her, being like I dated in

585
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 2: an older woman. That's someone well she.

586
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 1: Is literally even older than I'm.

587
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 2: Also just imagining this like Austrian like foots and like

588
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 2: big overalls painting, just being like, I can't go to

589
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 2: meet your friends at a casual event at a bar.

590
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 2: I'm painting And she's like, you said you were gonna come,

591
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:02,800
Speaker 2: And she's like, I'm doing.

592
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:06,480
Speaker 1: My work, do not disturb me. She likes her coffee black.

593
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think keep dating. I think be light, tell

594
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 2: them about the play. Don't talk about your ex the

595
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 2: first day's, second date, third day. Yeah, if someone is like, oh,

596
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 2: what are you working on, you can be like, it's

597
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 2: a play about someone I dated.

598
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 1: Okay, well that's not really Like then they're going to

599
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 1: ask a follow up question.

600
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:25,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, you could be like, it's a play about love

601
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 2: and relationships and X. But don't go on the first

602
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 2: day being like, hey, so, like my name is young,

603
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 2: twenty two year old lesbian.

604
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 1: I think there's an opportunity here to impart maybe some wisdom,

605
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 1: which is I do feel like there's a tendency, especially

606
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 1: in the queer community.

607
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 2: To call something toxic, Well tell me toxic.

608
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 1: But also to talk about yourself a lot, and to

609
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 1: talk about your exes a lot, And I do think

610
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 1: that it's good. Maybe it's just as a general rule

611
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 1: to try to avoid that. It doesn't mean you can't

612
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 1: talk about your exes or you can't talk about the

613
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 1: play you're writing, but like maybe have those as like

614
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 1: you know, nine or ten on your backup list of topics,

615
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 1: like and when you're going into that date, like really

616
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:06,160
Speaker 1: try and get into more like.

617
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,760
Speaker 2: Where are you from, Yeah, where are you from?

618
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:13,240
Speaker 1: And favorite music, like you know, restaurants and kind of

619
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:15,800
Speaker 1: sounding off on fun cultural.

620
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 2: Top topics Yeah, like Paul's drug Yeah, Nancy Pulos Swift,

621
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 2: like the Chiefs, memes, fast food fast in your exes

622
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 2: and like maybe you could say, oh, yeah, I got

623
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 2: out of a long term religionhip a few months ago,

624
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 2: Like that's maybe okay to get in there.

625
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 1: But like I would try to steer clear of that.

626
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,240
Speaker 2: Also, I think it's like the toxic thing is like

627
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 2: if someone is like, hey, what's up with you? Like,

628
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 2: if you're like not feeling a date, you don't instantly

629
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 2: also have to go into hey I just got out

630
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 2: of something really toxic a few months ago.

631
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 1: It's like I also like if I want to do

632
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 1: with someone and they say that their ex was toxic,

633
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 1: I'm kind of.

634
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 2: Red FuG Maybe you're a yeah.

635
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 1: Because I'm like, well, you dated them, so what's your problem?

636
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 1: Or you're just trash you know your exes, which means

637
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 1: they're going to trash me after we had this.

638
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 2: No doubt it could be this thirty nine year old

639
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,600
Speaker 2: painter who want to get engaged after three months could

640
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 2: be totally toxic. But let's just like put that word

641
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 2: on hold. Talking about the X literally talk about our podcast.

642
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 1: That's an amazing topic of conversation on the first date.

643
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 2: Just one thing I do feel like on the reason why. Also,

644
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 2: maybe she's feeling this is coming up because I feel

645
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 2: like the person probably she's on a date with is

646
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 2: probably being like, yeah, I'm just got a really toxic

647
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 2: thing that was seven months and then then you're gonna

648
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 2: like be like, ooh, I want to relate. That's not

649
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:34,480
Speaker 2: sexy for you. Guys both to like trauma dump on

650
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 2: each other for an hour. Yes, so someone says that,

651
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 2: maybe talk about it for a little and again pivot pavot.

652
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, but no, honestly challenge trying to say that we'd

653
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 1: toksic on a first date.

654
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 2: Just try and update us. All right, good luck, best okay,

655
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 2: next call.

656
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 5: Hey, best friends.

657
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:54,520
Speaker 3: This is a.

658
00:31:54,600 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 8: Lenny, a single and unfortunately straight female clove kid from

659
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 8: beautiful Sacramento, California. I've recently gotten really into reading old

660
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 8: eighties and nineties era New York magazine personal ads. I've

661
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:15,320
Speaker 8: even taken a stab at writing my own. I know

662
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 8: you're both in committed relationships, but if you had to

663
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 8: write your own three line newspaper style personal ads nowadays.

664
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 5: I'd love to hear what those would be.

665
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 7: All right, Belle, Oh.

666
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:34,680
Speaker 2: This is really fun.

667
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, first of all, I just want to say,

668
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 1: single and straight in Sacramento, Honey, the world's your oyster.

669
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 1: I'm so jealous of you, Like.

670
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 2: I feel like you're gonna meet a guy skydiving.

671
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 1: I know. I want to think that it's so outdoorsy

672
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 1: up there, but maybe it is just kind of like I've.

673
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 2: Been thinking more San Diego and Sacramento is a little

674
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 2: more like office hacienda park.

675
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just like companies that like can't afford to

676
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 1: be based in like Silicon Valley, and it's.

677
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 2: I still do see you going to like a guacamally

678
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:05,880
Speaker 2: making class though, and meeting your husband. I also think, like, okay, so.

679
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 1: In California they have avocato there do You're writing your

680
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 1: ad and like, I know, like that's how queer Applex started.

681
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 2: What if you were so random? This is so nineties movie.

682
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 2: Write an ad and photocopy it and put it around Sacramento.

683
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 2: I'm sure you're gonna get a lot of like creeps,

684
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 2: but like, just for fun, why not like school style.

685
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:31,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's very like there's a tweak coin

686
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 1: viral if someone's personally.

687
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 2: Okay, do you want to go first? Or should I

688
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 2: improv personal ad?

689
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 1: Okay, here's mine. Thirty four year old Nora Ephron type

690
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 1: seeks Dominic Dunn to slam her typewriter shut at the

691
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 1: end of the day.

692
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 2: Okay, I love it. Okay, thirty seven year old Wow

693
00:33:56,680 --> 00:34:03,640
Speaker 2: on this to the boots, blue eyed, dark haired motorcycle

694
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 2: butch looking.

695
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 1: Looking at Ski.

696
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:14,320
Speaker 2: Who is too afraid to drive a motorcycle, seeking them

697
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 2: to take out to a roum.

698
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,759
Speaker 1: Com Oh that's fun. Oh who wouldn't sign him for that?

699
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:20,719
Speaker 2: Right that I'd be lining up?

700
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,320
Speaker 1: That's really really cute.

701
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:25,240
Speaker 2: I love It's like, you know, saying you're a badass

702
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 2: but or not. Okay, wait now let me write one

703
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:27,319
Speaker 2: for you.

704
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:31,439
Speaker 1: Oh wait, maybe mine's more just like Daddy's Girl Otter,

705
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 1: like seeking.

706
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 2: Nasty Daddy's Girl Otter wants to be tied up and

707
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 2: taken to the chapel by a big daddy architects.

708
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 1: Just as Daddy like eight times. Oh wa wait, no,

709
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:46,680
Speaker 1: that's true. Okay, I do want to go to the

710
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 1: chapel with an architect and then at the end it's

711
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:49,879
Speaker 1: like thirty two.

712
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:53,359
Speaker 2: Maybe your mad ad is just thirty two. Thirty two. Hi,

713
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 2: I'm thirty two looking to be thirty two. I'm looking

714
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,839
Speaker 2: for a man who will call me thirty two.

715
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 1: Oh okay, good luck Sacramento.

716
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, Also, any straight man out there in Sacramento

717
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 2: listening right now, If you have an awesome dope cousin

718
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 2: who lives in Sacramento, let's try to hook her up.

719
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 1: I'd like to shout out to the straight club kid

720
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:14,719
Speaker 1: that I met this weekend at a party who is

721
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 1: from Allington, Massa and had such a beautiful Boston accent.

722
00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 1: Straight guy listener of the pod which I always like.

723
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:24,920
Speaker 1: Wait that exists, but maybe the Alwington guarn the Sacramento

724
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 1: Gulshul date mean in the middle Kansas City will sponsor it.

725
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 2: Maybe that's a wrong guy.

726
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:34,279
Speaker 14: Next call, Hey, Lily Hateskeeden.

727
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:35,760
Speaker 3: That's the CJ.

728
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 14: Like the letters from Alphabet, I am a trance dude

729
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,800
Speaker 14: and IX client dating to be really difficult.

730
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 3: Get the apps, don't want to tap in.

731
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,720
Speaker 14: I'd say I'm a pretty cutey, patuity little guy. However,

732
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:54,719
Speaker 14: I am very afraid of approaching women. You know, I've

733
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:57,279
Speaker 14: lived as a lesbian, did pretty well with that, but

734
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 14: you know, dudes can be really shitty, and so I

735
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:05,880
Speaker 14: find myself not putting myself out there, even though I

736
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:07,200
Speaker 14: would love to get.

737
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:08,280
Speaker 3: Back into the dating scene.

738
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:13,040
Speaker 14: Last relationship went pretty bad, especially once it started transitioning.

739
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 14: So any tips on moonlighting as a guy when you

740
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:23,920
Speaker 14: are actually more special than that. Much love, appreciate you

741
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 14: XOXOJJ for calling.

742
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:31,320
Speaker 1: Thanks for your vulnerability, and you know, I love your

743
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 1: honesty and your warmth, and I think that's super beautiful.

744
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 2: And I think, just off the bat, when you're like

745
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 2: saying I'm afraid to approach women because like most guys

746
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 2: are shitty and like women are afraid of scary men,

747
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 2: I think your light is gonna shine through pretty fast

748
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 2: and you're not going to come off as like a

749
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,759
Speaker 2: toxic Yeah. See, I know we're retiring netword, but like

750
00:36:57,800 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 2: you're probably not.

751
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,359
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, I think like that may be an

752
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:05,680
Speaker 1: excuse for some fear hiness. I think some shinness.

753
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,960
Speaker 2: Because approaching women is of course.

754
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:09,880
Speaker 1: It's terrified, you know, it's like we're all scared to

755
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,279
Speaker 1: do it. But I think that when you say, you know,

756
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:13,759
Speaker 1: I don't want to get on the apps. I don't

757
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,359
Speaker 1: want to do this. I kind of think that get

758
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 1: on the app, you're gonna have to get on the apps, honey.

759
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:21,040
Speaker 2: I think do you both. It's get on the apps especially,

760
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 2: and I say this to all my clients. Take the

761
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:25,920
Speaker 2: edge off if you're like, well, I don't want to

762
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:27,799
Speaker 2: get in the apps. And the other option is like

763
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:29,920
Speaker 2: going to a bar and just like going up to

764
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:32,279
Speaker 2: a woman and being like, hey, they're a pretty lady.

765
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 2: It's like, get on the apps.

766
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 1: Can go on way easier than yeah, doing that.

767
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 2: Go on some random dates, and then you're gonna be like, yeah,

768
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,400
Speaker 2: I am cute. People are responding to me, and like

769
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 2: the dates may be like bad or boring or like

770
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 2: mostly their probably is gonna be kind of like whatever,

771
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 2: or they'll be good.

772
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:54,360
Speaker 1: You know. The apps are just one piece of the puzzle.

773
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 1: But I think the issue here is not other girls

774
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:00,360
Speaker 1: and it's not the apps. I think the isue is

775
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:04,160
Speaker 1: just you having to remind yourself the things that you're

776
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 1: able to that are already so obvious. You know. The

777
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,319
Speaker 1: second we start to hear your call, which is that

778
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,080
Speaker 1: you are really sweet and you are warm, and you

779
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,200
Speaker 1: or do you have like a light and a humor

780
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 1: in a charm that or oh people would like And

781
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 1: I feel like thet yeah, to just let that openness

782
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:20,839
Speaker 1: come out because it's already there.

783
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 2: I feel like also maybe like the hurt that he's

784
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 2: feeling now of dating as a trans guy is the

785
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 2: rejection I'm guessing he felt from from the X maybe

786
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 2: rejected him once he started transitioning.

787
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 1: But you know that's again, it's like that's one person.

788
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,320
Speaker 1: If that's why that relationship ended, then that's like good

789
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:39,840
Speaker 1: because now that you can go find.

790
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 2: It, you're living your life child, and then you can go.

791
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:46,760
Speaker 1: Find someone except you accepts you for CJ. Yeah, for CJ.

792
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 1: So I know there has been a ton of acclainable

793
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:52,279
Speaker 1: advice in here yet, but I'm gonna say, like, you

794
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:54,400
Speaker 1: do need to get on the apps. I mean, listen,

795
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 1: you know you're gonna go where the community is right.

796
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,480
Speaker 2: It's also I'll say this unless I mean, maybe you

797
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 2: do want like a totally like straight girl who is

798
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:08,360
Speaker 2: just fully seeing you as a like cisman from like

799
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:10,919
Speaker 2: the get go. But like I would say, like most

800
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 2: queer fems are orny.

801
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:17,799
Speaker 1: Does Yeah, they're out there. Alex app. It seems like

802
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 1: there's a lot of first for that.

803
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:21,759
Speaker 2: So I mean from when I see IRL, it's like

804
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 2: all girls want Yeah, they're out there. You need to

805
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,160
Speaker 2: put yourself out there. And I think it's just like

806
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:30,839
Speaker 2: hanging out with your sea friends. This is like your

807
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:32,480
Speaker 2: friends who are not your best friends.

808
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:34,000
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, sea friends are huge.

809
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, like text your friends You're like, oh, we do

810
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:39,400
Speaker 2: have fun together, but like maybe you're not, you know,

811
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 2: going to moves one on one together. Be like, wait,

812
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:43,839
Speaker 2: what are you up to tonight? Just see if there

813
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:44,920
Speaker 2: is the random party.

814
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:46,320
Speaker 1: You know, I got a text receiver.

815
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:47,480
Speaker 2: It's the sea friends.

816
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:49,240
Speaker 1: And you've got to put yourself up there on social

817
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 1: media too, Twitter, Instagram, Like just little things have to

818
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 1: be that much. But just give somebody something to grab onto.

819
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:59,320
Speaker 2: Right now. I want you to post the most random

820
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:01,840
Speaker 2: dump that's it's like cute selfie view and a jacket,

821
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,879
Speaker 2: funny sign on the side of the road yep, and

822
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 2: like screen grab of a TV.

823
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's like something funny. That's yeah. And then

824
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:17,719
Speaker 1: and then let's maybe let's get an animal picture in there,

825
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:21,320
Speaker 1: because people love those. Lead with either animal or face.

826
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 2: I think lead with face. Animals like third picks a

827
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:26,719
Speaker 2: blurry picture of a cat.

828
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 1: First, Who's that is blurry?

829
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,720
Speaker 2: When people do those? That's always blurry either way? Photo

830
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 2: dump apps, text, see.

831
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 1: Friends, Yeah, casts a wide net, honey done, update us

832
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 1: yeah and keep us updated? All right? Good luck? We

833
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:42,400
Speaker 1: love you, CJ, We love you best.

834
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:44,120
Speaker 6: Okay, ready for the next one?

835
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:50,200
Speaker 9: Yes, Hi, bes friends A long time listener, first time caller.

836
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:56,799
Speaker 13: So, I know you're both in loving, committed partnership, but

837
00:40:56,880 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 13: I'm wondering if you can share some and to maybe

838
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:04,080
Speaker 13: how you met your partners or how your friends have

839
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 13: met their partners. I've been actively unhinge for a long

840
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:11,439
Speaker 13: time now, and I do believe hinge is the tenth

841
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:15,759
Speaker 13: circle itself. It is a nightmare. It can't be it.

842
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:19,280
Speaker 13: And I know the obvious answers to like meet just one.

843
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 9: Person, but like out of bars, I just don't feel

844
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:26,759
Speaker 9: like people are engaging in that way like they used

845
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,279
Speaker 9: to five ten years ago. Like it doesn't seem like

846
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:33,960
Speaker 9: anyone's like looking up from their phone anymore. So I

847
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:35,520
Speaker 9: don't know. Maybe the answer is.

848
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 5: I need to get a hobby, but wanted to hear

849
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 5: your insights.

850
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:44,320
Speaker 9: Huge fan of you role and the pod.

851
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:46,480
Speaker 5: Thanks so much Happy.

852
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:49,800
Speaker 2: VD, Happy Vont. I say thank you for calling and sharing.

853
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:53,040
Speaker 2: It does feel so Christian now that I know you

854
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:56,759
Speaker 2: guys are in loving, committed Christian relationship. I will say

855
00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:58,799
Speaker 2: this back to the sea friends thing, I feel like

856
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 2: I did meet my current beloved by kind of doing

857
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 2: a sea friend activity.

858
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:08,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, although this was I mean this was before cell

859
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 1: phones though.

860
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 2: I mean we had iPhones in.

861
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 1: Nineteen ninety six. So I think the problem with Hinge

862
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:19,760
Speaker 1: and Tinder is that they have too much pressure built

863
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 1: in from the get go. When I was on Hinge

864
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:25,280
Speaker 1: and Tinder at times when I've been single, like everyone

865
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:26,960
Speaker 1: there has a job, which is weird if you don't

866
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,440
Speaker 1: have a job, and then everyone is so just like

867
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,040
Speaker 1: even if they're pretending that they're not looking for marriage,

868
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 1: like it's just the undercurrent of the first meeting is

869
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 1: so just like, so is this gonna work out? And

870
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 1: there's too much tension there.

871
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like Hinge results are more marriage than Tinder,

872
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:44,920
Speaker 2: but like Tinder results are like kind of crazy.

873
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:46,719
Speaker 1: Tinders me a little bit crazy and it's like too

874
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,759
Speaker 1: chaotic now and like spam. But again it's also so job.

875
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:51,120
Speaker 1: But maybe she's probably a job.

876
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 2: I think she's a job. I think Tinder is way less.

877
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:55,400
Speaker 2: Job hinge is all about jobs.

878
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 1: I met my current boyfriend on Scruff. I met my

879
00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:00,200
Speaker 1: previous boyfriend on Twitter. I met my previous boyfriend for

880
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:05,160
Speaker 1: that on scrap. A lot of flings that I've had,

881
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 1: I've met sort of like in real life. But I

882
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:11,240
Speaker 1: would say like in all those situations, I was meeting

883
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:14,279
Speaker 1: someone in a pretty casual way at first, and there

884
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 1: wasn't all this built in expectation that it was going

885
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:19,040
Speaker 1: to be a relationship, and so I think that that

886
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 1: allowed feelings to develop more organically because no one was

887
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:27,440
Speaker 1: came in like expecting this to be a thing and

888
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:30,680
Speaker 1: judging the very first interaction you have with someone as

889
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:32,880
Speaker 1: to whether or not they were going to become here forever.

890
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 2: Well, I will say this, I think there is more

891
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 2: of a marriage that marriage pressure feeling.

892
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 3: Oh.

893
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:40,759
Speaker 1: I mean, if you're a woman, If you're woman in.

894
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 2: Your thirties and you're all day with the guy, and

895
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 2: that the guy is even more afraid, probably because he's like,

896
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:48,360
Speaker 2: oh God, I'm gonna go on this date and it's

897
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 2: like does she want marriage or maybe he wants marriage.

898
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:55,720
Speaker 2: I met my girlfriend literally through doing a dear friend's

899
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:59,439
Speaker 2: web series, but even I didn't even know the girl then.

900
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:01,920
Speaker 2: Now I'm friends with her did the web series, but

901
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:05,399
Speaker 2: then we would just see each other at events later

902
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:09,279
Speaker 2: because then I was kind of like more friendly with

903
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:11,319
Speaker 2: her circle. And there'd be like a screening and then

904
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 2: a bar thing and then like a barbecue. So it's

905
00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:19,640
Speaker 2: like hobby, but it is like saying yes to doing

906
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,760
Speaker 2: random stuff. And like when we shot that web series,

907
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 2: I mean, hell, I was in character and dreads the

908
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,560
Speaker 2: whole time. Side Girls Club check it out. Yeah it's

909
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 2: on the web, but you know, and it's like you

910
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 2: never know who you're going to meet, and some people

911
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:32,719
Speaker 2: are right under your nose.

912
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:34,960
Speaker 1: But I think that social media is great. Like I'll say,

913
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:36,880
Speaker 1: like my previous boyfriend, we went on Twitter and like

914
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:40,360
Speaker 1: had DM and about like stuff, and then like eventually

915
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:42,239
Speaker 1: we're like we should meet up and like went on

916
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:46,640
Speaker 1: a date or something. And then like Alison Roman, friend

917
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:49,400
Speaker 1: of the Pot, like she met her husband like via DM,

918
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:51,440
Speaker 1: like and she said to her dms.

919
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:55,360
Speaker 2: Quo, she was just living her life like it's golden

920
00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:59,400
Speaker 2: and thriving and he noticed that, so do post do

921
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 2: po as we said to c J. And also like

922
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 2: if there is like someone cute on Instagram. Yeah, you know,

923
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:12,920
Speaker 2: throw the story of flame and moj.

924
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:17,560
Speaker 1: Yeah not just a flame, maybe even a message. One

925
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:20,880
Speaker 1: thing I love to do is to respond to like

926
00:45:21,239 --> 00:45:25,160
Speaker 1: a hot selfie, but reference something else in the photo

927
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:28,960
Speaker 1: that's not them being hot, because like other people will

928
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:29,879
Speaker 1: be like, oh you look great.

929
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 2: It's actually so pick up artist of you to be

930
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:35,320
Speaker 2: so like, hey, nice sucks.

931
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 1: No obvious, clearly you're not responding to a self face.

932
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 2: No, because I'm being faithful.

933
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,960
Speaker 1: Faithful Christian. But like I'll just be like, oh, like

934
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:50,960
Speaker 1: you know, nice antique mirror in the background.

935
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:58,239
Speaker 2: Classic I pickup artists to move, nice roacco wallpaper. I

936
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:03,040
Speaker 2: would love to get a cocktail with you sometimes tonically. Also,

937
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 2: this is so random. Ask your gay guy friends if

938
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:07,440
Speaker 2: they have brothers.

939
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:09,840
Speaker 1: I'm sure they do.

940
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:13,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, brothers of gay guys might be kind of fun.

941
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:17,080
Speaker 1: Because the gay is really the firstborn. Yep, brothers of gays.

942
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:19,440
Speaker 1: I think you'll get there. But maybe like less hinge

943
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:23,759
Speaker 1: and more social is tinders the grinder for three people,

944
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,680
Speaker 1: then maybe do the tinder, But like as if it's

945
00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:28,520
Speaker 1: going to be like a one night stand.

946
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 2: Wait, Also, like I mean field is being a little.

947
00:46:32,239 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 1: Oh maybe it's Field that's the grinder for street.

948
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 2: People, that is. But also go on field and like

949
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:39,839
Speaker 2: literally say what you like sexually on it and then

950
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:40,720
Speaker 2: see what happens.

951
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, but don't be like too explicit, like be cute

952
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:43,800
Speaker 1: about it.

953
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 2: Hey, miss Christian over there.

954
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:47,880
Speaker 1: I feel like if your profile is just like rigging,

955
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:49,320
Speaker 1: like this girl.

956
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 2: Is not gonna say rigging.

957
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 1: I think she could go on and be like, hey,

958
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,640
Speaker 1: like looking for my big spoon, Yeah.

959
00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 2: Wanting my Travis Kelsey to throw me around.

960
00:46:58,400 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly that.

961
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 2: I think that's the be cute and open a field.

962
00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 1: Use some metaphors.

963
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 2: She's like, Okay, well the host of CBC don't need

964
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:14,200
Speaker 2: to go on field looking for a nine anti alcohol.

965
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 1: No metaphors, only on field and then respond to other

966
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 1: things in self fees and post post post post.

967
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:23,759
Speaker 2: Posts, keep on posting, hang out with see friends.

968
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:26,560
Speaker 1: Good luck, keep us updated.

969
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:27,200
Speaker 4: Celebrity.

970
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:43,799
Speaker 2: Okay, next call, we have time for a few more.

971
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 6: Yes, Okay, So, speaking of meeting people on socials, here

972
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 6: is another caller who has also met someone on a social.

973
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:58,839
Speaker 3: Okay, so I have a kind of a dilemma. There's

974
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:03,520
Speaker 3: this guy that I have been friends with for not

975
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:04,080
Speaker 3: that long.

976
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 11: I mean we talked on Twitter for like a lot

977
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:08,720
Speaker 11: of time, but we just started hanging out in person

978
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:10,440
Speaker 11: sort of like six months ago.

979
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 3: And it was his birthday recently, and we went out

980
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:19,719
Speaker 3: like we usually do. He's straight, or so I thought, and.

981
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 15: He got really drunk and you can guess what happens next.

982
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:29,319
Speaker 15: He kissed me when we were watching a movie at

983
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:31,840
Speaker 15: the end of the night, and then he started crying

984
00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:36,120
Speaker 15: and having like a total fucking breakdown because he's like.

985
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 3: I never kiss the guy.

986
00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 11: But then he sort of started like drunkenly professing his

987
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:45,359
Speaker 11: love for me, like how we could be together, how

988
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:46,799
Speaker 11: like he thinks that we.

989
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:50,239
Speaker 3: Could get married and what. Yeah, it's like this whole

990
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:53,759
Speaker 3: thing and I don't really know what to do with

991
00:48:53,920 --> 00:49:02,839
Speaker 3: it because he's hot and I don't know. I think

992
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:05,840
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna leave the drama of it and.

993
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 11: Just see where that takes me. Like, what's your thoughts

994
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:12,839
Speaker 11: on d L guys for being someone's first gay jack

995
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:14,719
Speaker 11: or love experience?

996
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:16,840
Speaker 1: My joys on the floor.

997
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 2: I'm in shock.

998
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:18,840
Speaker 3: I am so.

999
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 2: Friend. You're watching TV and he's like oh wait oh,

1000
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:28,880
Speaker 2: and also just being like I want to marry you what,

1001
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:33,759
Speaker 2: that's insane on Twitter. You're saying about guys like they

1002
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 2: always say, like women are obsessed with marriage, but I

1003
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 2: actually think men are more obsessed with marriage. WHOA, yeah,

1004
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:43,440
Speaker 2: what do you mean You're just gonna leave the drama.

1005
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:47,280
Speaker 2: I'm just like, I'm just like, fuck him, get married,

1006
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:49,320
Speaker 2: break up, like let's sucking go.

1007
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:54,280
Speaker 1: Like I'm like, strap in for the drama, your fucking

1008
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:55,759
Speaker 1: seatbelt because.

1009
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:57,960
Speaker 2: I have my popcorn okay, and I'm eating.

1010
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 1: I can not wait for this relationship to either end

1011
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:06,319
Speaker 1: in marriage or divorce or hopefully both. This is so hot.

1012
00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:08,239
Speaker 2: Well, so you made it. I just want to happen

1013
00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:11,759
Speaker 2: single and like what why not You're like, oh no,

1014
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:13,120
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna leave it there.

1015
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:15,279
Speaker 1: He did ask for opinion on But it's like to

1016
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:17,840
Speaker 1: be someone's first, but I actually think you could have

1017
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 1: had some experience in this.

1018
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:23,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I will say that's happened to me multiple times.

1019
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:25,840
Speaker 2: But it's always.

1020
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:30,759
Speaker 1: Like, obviously it's the dream to like turn a straight guy.

1021
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:34,240
Speaker 2: It's like as legends will have it. I've always considered

1022
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:37,319
Speaker 2: it's much easier to turn a fem than for gay

1023
00:50:37,440 --> 00:50:40,719
Speaker 2: guy to turn his straight guy because of masculinity in

1024
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 2: the patriarchy and the power of butchers.

1025
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:47,040
Speaker 1: Absolutely, it's so rare for this to happen, Like you

1026
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:48,279
Speaker 1: should just be you have.

1027
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:51,680
Speaker 2: To go for it and just dive in, but also

1028
00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:54,520
Speaker 2: like have some drauma yourself, be like I don't want

1029
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:56,800
Speaker 2: to be your fucking experiment, but you're so hot.

1030
00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 1: I mean this guy from his voice, he sounds kind

1031
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:01,440
Speaker 1: of mask. I do feel like it's like kind of

1032
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:03,560
Speaker 1: a mask on mask, kind of a mask on mask.

1033
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:05,840
Speaker 1: And I feel like that happens more often, Like I

1034
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:07,799
Speaker 1: don't think that's ever happening to me, because I don't

1035
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:10,200
Speaker 1: think a straight guy is going to be like spending

1036
00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 1: so much time with me if he's sexuality I.

1037
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:17,719
Speaker 2: Quote unquote straight man hypothetically is spending a lot of

1038
00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:18,640
Speaker 2: time with you.

1039
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:21,480
Speaker 1: I think that tends to mean that they know they're straight.

1040
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:24,160
Speaker 2: They're not lifelong confused.

1041
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 1: Maybe they are lifelong confused. I mean, I'm thinking about

1042
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 1: some of my college roommates and I wonder, you know,

1043
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 1: what was the connection there?

1044
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 2: You have things going for you that's other than just

1045
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 2: a gay guy. You bombed over weed and Seinfeldts.

1046
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 1: Right, And I plan on doing that with many more

1047
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:43,520
Speaker 1: straight men in my career.

1048
00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:45,919
Speaker 2: Oh and I wanted the same thing when straight chicks

1049
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 2: want to hang out with me.

1050
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 1: Almost sounds like he's asking if there's like an authenticity issue, like, oh,

1051
00:51:50,719 --> 00:51:53,439
Speaker 1: are you just their training wheels? Is there something kind

1052
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 1: of like, I don't know, embarrassing or not authentic to

1053
00:51:57,040 --> 00:51:59,640
Speaker 1: your own gay experience by just shepherding this person through

1054
00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:02,959
Speaker 1: and then be so, yeah, so this is rue, Paul,

1055
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:04,480
Speaker 1: and you're like doing such a.

1056
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:09,319
Speaker 2: I personally, in my personal life have never felt, you know, that, like, oh,

1057
00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:11,880
Speaker 2: I don't want to just be your experiment. I've always

1058
00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 2: been like, I'm happy, I would love to be your experiment.

1059
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:18,400
Speaker 2: But this might be more different with the guy and

1060
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:21,520
Speaker 2: I can see him. Maybe the fear is that he

1061
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:24,160
Speaker 2: professes all this stuff and all of a sudden, you know,

1062
00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:27,520
Speaker 2: you leave your boudoir, he's made all this promises, you've

1063
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:30,120
Speaker 2: made love, and then you know he's joshing you and

1064
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:32,839
Speaker 2: then takes it back and breaks your heart and then

1065
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:33,839
Speaker 2: you feel like the fool.

1066
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:36,640
Speaker 1: Well, and that's the fear of every relationship. But you

1067
00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:38,359
Speaker 1: missed one hundred percent of shots you don't take.

1068
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:40,880
Speaker 2: But I guess I think not just the breakup, more

1069
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:44,040
Speaker 2: of just like whoa dude and then the flip of like, wait,

1070
00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:45,080
Speaker 2: Europe sayes with me.

1071
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 1: I love the idea of them like trying to be like, so,

1072
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:48,880
Speaker 1: I guess I've never had like such with the guy.

1073
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:51,800
Speaker 1: How does this work? My Dick's like too big to

1074
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:53,840
Speaker 1: fit in. I don't get it, and be like no,

1075
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:54,919
Speaker 1: like we'll make it work.

1076
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:58,160
Speaker 2: No, there's all these ways I can make it fit.

1077
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:00,680
Speaker 1: Then like he takes him to like a drag race

1078
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:05,040
Speaker 1: watch party and he's so confused, and then they were

1079
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:07,000
Speaker 1: just like, oh my god, can you believe Changela did that.

1080
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:10,480
Speaker 1: He's like hah, totally, like she's such a tiger, and

1081
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:12,799
Speaker 1: they're just like, what did you just say? And he's like, oh,

1082
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:14,239
Speaker 1: I don't know. I thought there was the phrase you

1083
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:15,799
Speaker 1: guys said. And they're like, oh my god, he's such

1084
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:16,240
Speaker 1: a loser.

1085
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 2: And then he goes home and he's like he's like,

1086
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:20,480
Speaker 2: I don't think I can hang out with your friends.

1087
00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:22,360
Speaker 2: I'm an idiot. I don't know all the terms you

1088
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:26,360
Speaker 2: guys use. And he's like, just forget them. Okay, they're idiots.

1089
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:30,440
Speaker 2: All that matters is us, and I want to be

1090
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 2: in a long term, loving, committed relationship with you. Yeah, Yeah,

1091
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:36,960
Speaker 2: let's go for it.

1092
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 1: Send us photos and video even just send.

1093
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:42,480
Speaker 2: Video, just like put up a few cameras in your

1094
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:43,440
Speaker 2: room for Stephen.

1095
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:44,160
Speaker 3: Cool.

1096
00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:45,879
Speaker 1: Here we celebrate your next call.

1097
00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 16: Hi, Lilian, Stephen, it's a question more for Stephen. Lily

1098
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 16: shout out if you have opinions. I'm wondering if you

1099
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 16: could plan a romantic evening for me.

1100
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:03,920
Speaker 3: For my boyfriend and I. We're going to Paris in April.

1101
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:07,400
Speaker 16: But I will do every single thing you tell me

1102
00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:07,759
Speaker 16: to do it.

1103
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:12,280
Speaker 2: Okay, we don't need twenty minutes.

1104
00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:16,400
Speaker 1: Maybe right to her, Okay, we're meant to give me

1105
00:54:16,480 --> 00:54:19,680
Speaker 1: in Paris. I think that you should get a table

1106
00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:24,320
Speaker 1: at sept Team obviously, then go for a walk on

1107
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:27,440
Speaker 1: the set on the sete. But before you do that,

1108
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:30,840
Speaker 1: you should get a bag at in a bottle of wine.

1109
00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 1: I could have said that, no, and you should go

1110
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:38,200
Speaker 1: to like the Canal where everyone hangs out like in

1111
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:40,359
Speaker 1: the eleventh Or you should go to Park but Chumon

1112
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:41,840
Speaker 1: because it's the most beautiful park in the world and

1113
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:42,960
Speaker 1: it's in the twentieth.

1114
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:47,880
Speaker 2: Flip feminism on its head. Go to Versailles. Proposed Tom

1115
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:55,239
Speaker 2: with a watch inspired by George Matthew, propose to him

1116
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:57,080
Speaker 2: that's my advice in Paris.

1117
00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:00,360
Speaker 1: Wait, that is really cute. I mean Paris in April. Perfect.

1118
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:02,880
Speaker 1: Anything you do, it's gonna be amazing. Oh a, and

1119
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 1: Paris April.

1120
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:08,080
Speaker 2: And make him watch all three staysons of family in

1121
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:09,360
Speaker 2: Paris before.

1122
00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:13,640
Speaker 1: That's a really good idea.

1123
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:19,560
Speaker 2: And then give him like the longest strip tees. It's

1124
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:22,480
Speaker 2: really long to retro French music.

1125
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:23,799
Speaker 1: Really kill some time.

1126
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:27,320
Speaker 2: That yeah, and then be like buy the tickets and

1127
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:29,360
Speaker 2: it's this whole thing. He's in kayak dot com and

1128
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:32,360
Speaker 2: you're stripping, and then you finally reveal when he purchases

1129
00:55:32,440 --> 00:55:33,040
Speaker 2: the tickets.

1130
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:35,040
Speaker 1: What are the tickets to Paris.

1131
00:55:36,480 --> 00:55:40,040
Speaker 2: But Kayak strip show. I just thought of that.

1132
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:45,240
Speaker 1: That's your next trip to the Kayak stript show. Absolutely, okay,

1133
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:45,960
Speaker 1: next call.

1134
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:48,640
Speaker 6: Okay, so this will be the last call.

1135
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:53,279
Speaker 5: Hello everybody. I'm a big fan. I planned all of

1136
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:55,000
Speaker 5: this and then I froze. Okay, so here we go

1137
00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:59,000
Speaker 5: speak Hi club parents. I'm a big fan. I'm desperately single,

1138
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:02,439
Speaker 5: so let's get into it. I'm very one bisexual girl

1139
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:06,520
Speaker 5: in Chicago, you know, like indoor hobbies, cottage core kind

1140
00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:09,800
Speaker 5: of stuff. I feel like, you know, the vibe. I

1141
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:14,920
Speaker 5: have dated almost exclusively online, and it's just not working

1142
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:17,440
Speaker 5: out there. It's not good. Now I'm trying to do

1143
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:19,759
Speaker 5: the thing where I go out in public and talk

1144
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:22,360
Speaker 5: to people, and I'm like, I don't know, like literally

1145
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:25,480
Speaker 5: what to say to people. Okay, I get being out

1146
00:56:25,520 --> 00:56:28,439
Speaker 5: in public and like trying to coort with people, I guess,

1147
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:30,200
Speaker 5: but I'm like, I don't know how to initiate if

1148
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:32,640
Speaker 5: you go to a bar with like a group of people,

1149
00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:34,759
Speaker 5: other people there with a group of people, and then

1150
00:56:34,880 --> 00:56:37,320
Speaker 5: like you're not hanging out if you go alone, you

1151
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:38,680
Speaker 5: have to have like a book, and it's like, do

1152
00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:40,360
Speaker 5: I want to be with somebody who would like interrupt

1153
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:42,600
Speaker 5: me if I'm trying to like read a book in

1154
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 5: a bar. I don't know. So I'm looking for like

1155
00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:47,840
Speaker 5: script concrete. Maybe you guys can kind of do a

1156
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:49,759
Speaker 5: little improv show me how it goes, cause I'm just

1157
00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:52,080
Speaker 5: kind of stuck there. And I know it sounds like

1158
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:55,440
Speaker 5: I have like never spoken to another person before, have

1159
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:57,319
Speaker 5: like no social schools. But I promise I do. It's

1160
00:56:57,400 --> 00:57:01,560
Speaker 5: just I freeze up before any sort of like possible

1161
00:57:01,840 --> 00:57:06,680
Speaker 5: romantic approach. So send help, please, please, please, thank you

1162
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:08,400
Speaker 5: so much, and goodbye.

1163
00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:11,200
Speaker 1: That's what the Microsoft Outlook email coming from.

1164
00:57:11,239 --> 00:57:15,200
Speaker 2: I'm obsessed with you. I want to call you Windy City.

1165
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:18,840
Speaker 1: By, Hey, your Windy City by like can you be

1166
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:22,040
Speaker 1: my friend? Alcohol is going to really help you out.

1167
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:25,400
Speaker 2: Okay, look, I know how Chicago is. One it's cold,

1168
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:29,600
Speaker 2: and you're already like an indoor person. I mean when

1169
00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:32,800
Speaker 2: I lived in Chicago and I was single, like I

1170
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:36,880
Speaker 2: was so terrified of like going up to people like

1171
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 2: quote unquote at bars. But that's also what I thought

1172
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:42,600
Speaker 2: like dating was. And here's the thing that's actually.

1173
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:45,280
Speaker 1: Not, Like no one f those like three different scenes

1174
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:46,960
Speaker 1: in Sex in the City where they're like go talk

1175
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:49,120
Speaker 1: to that guy and they're all at like a hotel

1176
00:57:49,240 --> 00:57:52,120
Speaker 1: lobby bar. It's like that isn't really how you need

1177
00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:55,240
Speaker 1: to go to avent events, social gatherings that aren't just

1178
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:56,600
Speaker 1: a random bar.

1179
00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 2: If you're not going to like the clause in Andersonville.

1180
00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:01,600
Speaker 1: And like, don't I don't having a birthday party every

1181
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:04,600
Speaker 1: week because there are constant birthday parties in this world or.

1182
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:07,320
Speaker 2: Like I feel like Chicago, so like maybe you're indoor,

1183
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:10,160
Speaker 2: maybe you're more like gaming. Like I feel like there

1184
00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:11,840
Speaker 2: must be like a center for.

1185
00:58:12,360 --> 00:58:17,440
Speaker 1: A center for bisexual. Gaming, Yeah, I feel like.

1186
00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:23,760
Speaker 2: Gaming's yeah, board gaming, yeah, like get together, like because.

1187
00:58:24,360 --> 00:58:26,840
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to host the board game night, host

1188
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:29,840
Speaker 1: a risk cat night. Okay. I actually think the real

1189
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 1: problem here is not that like you're single. The real

1190
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:35,320
Speaker 1: problem is here is your shy. It's shy. It's like

1191
00:58:35,400 --> 00:58:37,360
Speaker 1: a little bit of social anxiety. And I think an

1192
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:40,439
Speaker 1: amazing way to get over that is to literally host.

1193
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:42,400
Speaker 1: Because when you're hosting, you have a built in role.

1194
00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:44,640
Speaker 1: Part of the reason you have this anxiety is because

1195
00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:46,400
Speaker 1: you're like I don't know what to do. It's like

1196
00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:47,720
Speaker 1: I need the book, I need the prop or I

1197
00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:49,120
Speaker 1: need the group of friends, and I don't know what

1198
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:51,840
Speaker 1: to say. It's like you're worried about like what role

1199
00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:53,880
Speaker 1: you're gonna play, what lines are gonna say, what character

1200
00:58:53,880 --> 00:58:56,840
Speaker 1: are gonna be When you're hosting something that's all built in.

1201
00:58:57,080 --> 00:59:00,479
Speaker 2: You're cooking, you're picking up cups, you're getting more. I also,

1202
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:01,520
Speaker 2: what's funn.

1203
00:59:01,520 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 1: If they like their drink?

1204
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:04,960
Speaker 2: Like you never like have to you know, maybe to

1205
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,680
Speaker 2: commit to one conversation. Yeah, Like you may have that

1206
00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:09,560
Speaker 2: fear of like Okay, I can talk to someone for

1207
00:59:09,640 --> 00:59:12,560
Speaker 2: a minute and then I feel awkward, like, oh, what's next,

1208
00:59:12,680 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 2: It's like yeah, then you move on and you, you know,

1209
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:17,560
Speaker 2: freshen up, you know the chips.

1210
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:19,840
Speaker 1: So I think it's like time for you to start

1211
00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:24,400
Speaker 1: hosting your monthly bisexual Settles of Catan evening Chi.

1212
00:59:24,720 --> 00:59:27,160
Speaker 2: I'm also going to say something so crazy that you

1213
00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:28,800
Speaker 2: could go to with your friend that I feel like

1214
00:59:28,920 --> 00:59:31,800
Speaker 2: is a very Chicago thing to do, and you sound smart.

1215
00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:35,600
Speaker 2: Trivia Night. I feel like you seem trivia coded.

1216
00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:38,280
Speaker 1: And like I think that she would excel at trivia Night.

1217
00:59:38,480 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 2: And you could go and maybe you could find something

1218
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:45,480
Speaker 2: that's like, you know, thematic to what your interests are,

1219
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:50,640
Speaker 2: whether it be some sense or general trivia or movies

1220
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:55,320
Speaker 2: or music or Harry Potter and get an ipa that's

1221
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:58,360
Speaker 2: like nine point eight percent, but just have one, you know,

1222
00:59:58,400 --> 00:59:59,800
Speaker 2: because you don't want to get too drunk and they'd

1223
00:59:59,800 --> 01:00:03,520
Speaker 2: be like embarrassed. Sip on this ipa, get a little

1224
01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:06,560
Speaker 2: loosey goosey, go with a friend. I think it's more

1225
01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:10,440
Speaker 2: about also like getting your whistle wet socially, like just

1226
01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:14,880
Speaker 2: start being a little more social in general. Separate idea

1227
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:18,320
Speaker 2: that I have go to Canada, run into the people

1228
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:20,200
Speaker 2: who are and it'll get on the train.

1229
01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:23,720
Speaker 1: Activate study a broad mode, which is where you are

1230
01:00:23,840 --> 01:00:26,320
Speaker 1: more fearless because you're not in an environment where you're

1231
01:00:26,320 --> 01:00:29,400
Speaker 1: like my reputation matters. Literally take the bust of windsor

1232
01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:31,680
Speaker 1: or wherever is the closest town on the other side.

1233
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:35,000
Speaker 2: She's already so cold in Chicago, Canada just for.

1234
01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:38,280
Speaker 1: A fun weekend. What about Austin or Austin Okay, Austin

1235
01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:42,400
Speaker 1: can activate studying broad MODI. Maybe she likes being cold, Okay,

1236
01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:46,840
Speaker 1: San Francisco. Maybe she's comfortable in that environment. And literally,

1237
01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:48,840
Speaker 1: like you know, at the hotel room, like do a

1238
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:51,440
Speaker 1: shot of tequila before you leave the hotel room. That's

1239
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:53,120
Speaker 1: something that I used to do in my youth, like

1240
01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:55,640
Speaker 1: just to pregame, like going out to a bar alone,

1241
01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:58,560
Speaker 1: just to get it flowing, you know, and then you're like, oh,

1242
01:00:58,600 --> 01:00:59,920
Speaker 1: I got a spring of my step and then you're

1243
01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:01,640
Speaker 1: less afraid to like talk to that person.

1244
01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:04,960
Speaker 2: Also, just Chicago Base, there is that like very lesbian

1245
01:01:05,040 --> 01:01:07,480
Speaker 2: bookstore called like Women and Children's First, And I do

1246
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:09,720
Speaker 2: think they have a lot of events. I saw Sister

1247
01:01:09,800 --> 01:01:11,360
Speaker 2: Spit there. Iconic Michelle t.

1248
01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:16,920
Speaker 17: Show up to a reading wasted and show up to

1249
01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:20,600
Speaker 17: a reading drunk off only one shot of tequila, and

1250
01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:23,640
Speaker 17: just like, forget this nineties idea that you have to

1251
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,720
Speaker 17: go to a bar and like go up to someone

1252
01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:29,880
Speaker 17: and say like, hey, good looking, because like I don't know,

1253
01:01:29,960 --> 01:01:32,760
Speaker 17: you would have to be an amazing pickup artist like Steven.

1254
01:01:32,520 --> 01:01:34,600
Speaker 1: To do that. Yeah, but I'd like to see you

1255
01:01:34,640 --> 01:01:35,640
Speaker 1: try your hand at host sooner.

1256
01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:36,000
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1257
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:38,480
Speaker 2: Host, And if you do feel like I've remained some

1258
01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:41,880
Speaker 2: I'm too nervous, make a friend. Host to settlers of

1259
01:01:41,960 --> 01:01:42,520
Speaker 2: Catan Night.

1260
01:01:42,720 --> 01:01:45,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, share the co hosts, co host with the burden.

1261
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:49,480
Speaker 2: Give yourself this Chips job, Chancellor of the Chips, saw

1262
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:55,720
Speaker 2: of the soda, and luck really good luck udated. Okay.

1263
01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:57,720
Speaker 2: I just want to thank everyone for being so raw

1264
01:01:57,800 --> 01:02:00,720
Speaker 2: and calling in because I feel like, you know, I've

1265
01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:02,920
Speaker 2: been there to so many of these calls. I've been

1266
01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:06,160
Speaker 2: there too, whether it's trimming my pubic hair, being nervous

1267
01:02:06,200 --> 01:02:06,920
Speaker 2: talking to people.

1268
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:09,919
Speaker 1: I'd like to give it assignment to everyone who called

1269
01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:12,480
Speaker 1: in and everyone who's listening. Go watch the Rebel Wilson

1270
01:02:12,800 --> 01:02:16,280
Speaker 1: film How to Be Single. It's really funny, but it

1271
01:02:16,360 --> 01:02:19,040
Speaker 1: has a really beautiful lesson built into it, and I

1272
01:02:19,120 --> 01:02:21,160
Speaker 1: think the lesson there is that you really need to

1273
01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:23,320
Speaker 1: enjoy being single, because.

1274
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:25,000
Speaker 2: It's not about oh, I'm single. I think a lot

1275
01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:26,120
Speaker 2: of people are like onto the.

1276
01:02:26,280 --> 01:02:28,840
Speaker 1: Next yes, you know, they're worried about being single, though

1277
01:02:28,920 --> 01:02:30,840
Speaker 1: I can't be a single as a scar letter. It's like, no,

1278
01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:33,840
Speaker 1: single is a joyful thing, and the more you enjoy it,

1279
01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:36,400
Speaker 1: the more other people. It's a law of attraction whatever,

1280
01:02:36,880 --> 01:02:39,320
Speaker 1: because the thing is it ends so soon and then

1281
01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:40,400
Speaker 1: you miss it when it's gone.

1282
01:02:40,680 --> 01:02:45,000
Speaker 2: And then your mom married with two right, wondering the

1283
01:02:45,080 --> 01:02:46,800
Speaker 2: what ifs step and I saw how to be single?

1284
01:02:46,960 --> 01:02:48,920
Speaker 2: What a week after we were both out of relationships

1285
01:02:48,920 --> 01:02:50,080
Speaker 2: and it rocked our world.

1286
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:52,680
Speaker 1: And that isn't to dismiss your despair. I mean I

1287
01:02:52,840 --> 01:02:55,800
Speaker 1: have been out of relationships. I have been single and

1288
01:02:55,920 --> 01:02:58,400
Speaker 1: thought to myself, it's never going to happen for me.

1289
01:02:58,480 --> 01:02:59,960
Speaker 1: You've heard me say that so many times a day.

1290
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,120
Speaker 1: Different earlier stages in my romantic career.

1291
01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:07,080
Speaker 2: I remember before I got into my first seven year relationship,

1292
01:03:07,640 --> 01:03:10,200
Speaker 2: I literally thought I would die alone. I was like,

1293
01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:11,120
Speaker 2: I'm never gonna have sex.

1294
01:03:11,120 --> 01:03:12,560
Speaker 1: We were the biggest fucking version, you know.

1295
01:03:12,600 --> 01:03:14,960
Speaker 2: We were such loser virgins and it was like I

1296
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:17,280
Speaker 2: had slept with like two people within like a year

1297
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:18,520
Speaker 2: via both.

1298
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:21,960
Speaker 1: On people lose a virginia of anyone, and it was

1299
01:03:22,120 --> 01:03:22,520
Speaker 1: just like I.

1300
01:03:22,520 --> 01:03:26,560
Speaker 2: Remember sitting cold against Chicago and looking at like my

1301
01:03:26,760 --> 01:03:29,680
Speaker 2: coolest straight guy roommates being so like, oh, it's so easy.

1302
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:32,360
Speaker 2: You know, he's a guy, and you can go up

1303
01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:33,600
Speaker 2: to a girl and they're not going to be like

1304
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:37,160
Speaker 2: ow sketchy lesbian, right. And I would go to this

1305
01:03:37,280 --> 01:03:40,000
Speaker 2: ca club with my friend like every Sunday night. It

1306
01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:42,280
Speaker 2: actually we was a dance party, and I always was like, Oh,

1307
01:03:42,440 --> 01:03:45,160
Speaker 2: I should talk to a girl. I didn't, And then

1308
01:03:45,240 --> 01:03:48,760
Speaker 2: like you know, I really just thought it was never

1309
01:03:49,800 --> 01:03:51,960
Speaker 2: gonna happen. I'd be too shy and what do you

1310
01:03:52,040 --> 01:03:53,200
Speaker 2: even say? No?

1311
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:54,880
Speaker 1: I mean, for the last question about it, I was

1312
01:03:54,960 --> 01:03:56,640
Speaker 1: on the floor. I was dead. I thought I would

1313
01:03:56,920 --> 01:03:58,840
Speaker 1: never meet anyone. And I was just like, I'm just

1314
01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:00,520
Speaker 1: being so casual. And I went and I went on

1315
01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:02,640
Speaker 1: bad dates. I went on dates with people where it

1316
01:04:02,720 --> 01:04:04,360
Speaker 1: didn't work out, and I was trying to be casual

1317
01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:06,720
Speaker 1: and I couldn't be casual. I got ghosted, if you

1318
01:04:06,800 --> 01:04:10,360
Speaker 1: can believe it, just coasting you, I know, I've been

1319
01:04:10,440 --> 01:04:13,040
Speaker 1: in the absolute pits and then the second that you

1320
01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:17,520
Speaker 1: stop paying attention, it turns around. So just have faith

1321
01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:18,080
Speaker 1: and have fun.

1322
01:04:18,720 --> 01:04:22,360
Speaker 2: Just literally have fun on how to be single? Yeah,

1323
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:25,520
Speaker 2: watch that phone and Rebel Wilson, what is going on

1324
01:04:25,640 --> 01:04:25,880
Speaker 2: with her?

1325
01:04:25,960 --> 01:04:29,200
Speaker 1: Also? But we have to go which she's like a

1326
01:04:29,320 --> 01:04:32,320
Speaker 1: lesbian right, She's like she Hanaway became a lesbian.

1327
01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:35,160
Speaker 2: Yes, and they're married now, question Mark, I thought you

1328
01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:36,200
Speaker 2: haven't seen her or anything.

1329
01:04:37,240 --> 01:04:40,320
Speaker 1: I want to get away and like an Australian lesbian

1330
01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:42,840
Speaker 1: cage by her, toxic.

1331
01:04:43,440 --> 01:04:46,800
Speaker 2: Her, toxic painting perth. Butch okay, you.

1332
01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:54,080
Speaker 1: Guys have here Friday on the VIP Lounge over on

1333
01:04:54,120 --> 01:04:55,680
Speaker 1: our Patreon. Thank you so much.

1334
01:04:59,200 --> 01:05:03,240
Speaker 4: This sexy episode of Celebrity book Club but was executive

1335
01:05:03,280 --> 01:05:10,080
Speaker 4: produced by Christina Everett supervising producers. Abu Zafar, produced by Darby.

1336
01:05:09,920 --> 01:05:14,920
Speaker 2: Masters, are lovely themed songs done by Stephen Phillips, Horst

1337
01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:22,240
Speaker 2: Artword Teddy Blanks originally co creative prolonged Projects in Lover's

1338
01:05:22,320 --> 01:05:22,600
Speaker 2: Lane