WEBVTT - One, Four, ATE! (Featuring Star Amerazu) 0:00:00.600 --> 0:00:04.120 The Black Fat Fem Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio 0:00:04.320 --> 0:00:08.640 and Doctor John Paul LLC. Hey everyone, welcome to another 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:11.360 episode of the Blackfast and Podcast where all the intersections 0:00:11.400 --> 0:00:15.319 of identity are celebrated. My name is John, also known 0:00:15.360 --> 0:00:20.639 as Doctor John Paul, and will my sugar might be 0:00:20.680 --> 0:00:25.279 going up and down like the stock market. The one 0:00:25.320 --> 0:00:28.840 thing that is steady around here is mother is here 0:00:28.920 --> 0:00:32.360 for an app. How are you today, Joe? How are think? 0:00:32.960 --> 0:00:35.639 First of all, girl, I am in fluorescent lighting right now. 0:00:35.680 --> 0:00:38.519 This is criminal, This is nasty. 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:41.599 It's not giving. Girl, I think I look so nasty? 0:00:42.560 --> 0:00:45.840 Was the overhead light? We being uncunt? 0:00:46.040 --> 0:00:49.680 It's giving very uncundy Like I have the Kisminius talent. 0:00:49.760 --> 0:00:52.159 But the lights are not are not my friend today? No, 0:00:53.760 --> 0:00:55.720 poor lighty is giving a right my girl? 0:00:55.800 --> 0:00:57.720 Backup boss in the. 0:00:58.720 --> 0:01:02.720 Twenty five like, what is happening? But Anyoney's family is 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:04.720 your girls joining a cage shot. I'm here to tell 0:01:04.760 --> 0:01:10.039 you all that I am done with everything. The reason 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:12.520 I'm just done with it all because I can be 0:01:12.520 --> 0:01:16.240 because Peach I was tired. Oh my god, I am 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:18.920 so tired. Like I woke up today and I said, 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:20.759 why why am I why am I awake. 0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:25.000 I want to be invested like the world. The world's 0:01:25.000 --> 0:01:26.440 come too far, like Pope. 0:01:26.600 --> 0:01:29.360 Listen, the Pope is the Pope left. 0:01:29.600 --> 0:01:37.000 The Pope is not in the streets like that, because 0:01:37.040 --> 0:01:39.319 I will get, for sure, knock on my door by 0:01:39.360 --> 0:01:39.959 super service. 0:01:40.080 --> 0:01:42.120 But so Chris Bakes, you blew that part. But you 0:01:42.120 --> 0:01:44.520 know people are here killing people in the streets, okay, 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:46.280 because I'm not dragging my ass. 0:01:46.360 --> 0:01:53.200 God, because the Pope said, who what what somebody else? 0:01:53.680 --> 0:01:56.760 There's there's, there's there's. It was like a beam of 0:01:56.800 --> 0:01:58.080 like I want to say, it was like your housewives 0:01:58.080 --> 0:02:00.640 are the house are likely bad Backgrols club. But like 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:03.080 the girl straight hand some sugarhand. 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:05.760 And then she walked away and she was like sugarhand. 0:02:05.800 --> 0:02:09.440 Her spirit bit me she had and I said, that's 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:12.200 what's appropriates said, and I was taken out. 0:02:12.520 --> 0:02:13.160 But also. 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:19.679 But but you know what, you know what though even 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:22.040 though the Pope is up out of here, we are 0:02:22.160 --> 0:02:24.400 we are not alone by ourselves today. So what I 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:26.680 will say is this today we are joined in our 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:29.520 third seat by a doll that both you and your 0:02:29.560 --> 0:02:33.200 mama loves. She is a writer, composer, director, and activists 0:02:33.600 --> 0:02:36.400 whose work has gone her acclaim from both Billboard and 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:42.120 Outfast Girl. Now let's clock it, clock that tea. Not 0:02:42.320 --> 0:02:45.120 everybody gets on Billboard's radar. I just want to make 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:48.000 sure that everybody named Mama know that. So today we 0:02:48.280 --> 0:02:51.440 are joined by the one and only Star Amrazi. Did 0:02:51.480 --> 0:02:52.120 I say that right? 0:02:52.720 --> 0:02:55.320 You said you were close enough? Diva, it's star. 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:59.440 I'm I'm a ross Sue. Okay, I know that's right. Well, 0:02:59.440 --> 0:03:02.560 I tried, but thank you so much to be in here. 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:04.200 How is you slated? 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:07.040 I'm doing good, girl, I feel very much the same 0:03:07.760 --> 0:03:10.280 kind of like day by daying at this very moment 0:03:10.320 --> 0:03:10.720 in time. 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:15.239 Yes, yes, girl, as we all are right there. 0:03:15.160 --> 0:03:16.280 With both of you both. 0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:20.959 I had to go outside, said I wanted a hike. 0:03:21.000 --> 0:03:22.320 I said, let me go ahead and talk to the 0:03:22.360 --> 0:03:23.560 spirits in the forest. 0:03:24.000 --> 0:03:28.600 And then come come come on Shinto about us, which 0:03:28.639 --> 0:03:31.120 we will get into later, because all about I know 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:32.280 all about Amatu. 0:03:32.360 --> 0:03:35.040 Okay, girl, we'll get into her later. 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:37.920 Episode. 0:03:37.920 --> 0:03:40.480 We're gonna give our girls some flowers with Sisha Campbell 0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:45.000 and are still here sing. I'm kicking off asking asking 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:48.120 you something that Star rebels in Daily want to ask 0:03:48.200 --> 0:03:50.800 the question for all of us here. What doesn't mean 0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:54.520 to serve ce un t cunt baby. I know, for me, 0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:57.440 it's just a whole presence. It's like it's a way 0:03:57.440 --> 0:03:59.680 of life, a way of being. It's one of those 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:02.200 things you you gotta talk about if you are about 0:04:02.240 --> 0:04:04.640 you know what I mean. Like, it's just you know, 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:07.280 you know you ain't gonna go traffic. Could you stay 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:09.760 in your lane? Did you feel your best? Everything that 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:12.200 you do and you look your best because you're feeling 0:04:12.280 --> 0:04:14.600 your best? You know, Like it's just like like like 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:18.279 if you have to try and explain it, you don't 0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:20.240 have it, you know what I'm saying, Like, not has it? 0:04:20.680 --> 0:04:22.320 So that's what means to me. I'm curious what means 0:04:22.360 --> 0:04:25.960 to y'all though, Yeah, you first and whist sean. 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:30.160 Okay, Serving cut is what we're talking about. I feel 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:33.599 like cut is a state of mind, and like your 0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:36.040 version of cut is your version of cunt. I think 0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:40.640 having that confidence to serve whatever you're serving. If it's 0:04:40.880 --> 0:04:43.640 I'm the garbage man, then that's your that's what you serve, 0:04:43.720 --> 0:04:46.520 and you see you better serve it well if you're serving. 0:04:46.720 --> 0:04:50.920 I'm the assistant manager to the regional manager at a 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:53.040 paper company, then that's what you're serving as well. And 0:04:53.160 --> 0:04:56.480 you know, for me personally, I just think that I 0:04:56.680 --> 0:04:59.480 am one of the most iconic dolls. Yes, I know, 0:04:59.560 --> 0:05:03.200 that's right of the modern edge, and so that gives 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:05.960 me a joint of pleasure to serve cunt really. 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:09.719 Yes, yes, yes, yes, wow, what a moment. 0:05:10.279 --> 0:05:10.440 You know. 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:14.760 I never understood what serving cunt was until I started 0:05:14.839 --> 0:05:16.840 realizing that a lot of the ways I felt about 0:05:16.839 --> 0:05:19.880 myself were rooted in anti blackness, fat phobia, and queer 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:21.720 phobia and so like, once I was able to get 0:05:21.760 --> 0:05:24.000 out of that mindset, I was like, oh, I'm that bitch, 0:05:24.600 --> 0:05:27.520 Like I really am that girl. And it just when 0:05:27.560 --> 0:05:30.520 I started to like really embrace my softness and my feminists, 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:32.800 when I was getting my nails done, when I got 0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:37.000 a good, good bag to carry, it just all started 0:05:37.080 --> 0:05:39.800 feeling like, oh, I'm that bit, like and you can't 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:43.600 take it. You you know you can't. So yes, So 0:05:43.760 --> 0:05:46.480 I agree that kunt is a state of mind. And 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:48.920 I see people look at me and try to compute 0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:51.960 my energy and it's like eat it, dull, chump, chom 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:55.640 chom chomp, chomp, chom chump, Like you can't the afterglow 0:05:55.760 --> 0:06:00.560 of my Louis Vauton perfuses. You can't take it right 0:06:00.839 --> 0:06:05.200 like you'll care, they'll me and you'll never be us 0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:07.960 on a good day, like all three of us. You'll 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:11.440 never be us. And that is the that's the that 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:13.080 is the moment, that is what kind is. 0:06:13.400 --> 0:06:15.560 They're not even on your best day? Will you be us? Okay? 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:21.640 And you're still going to be at the bottom, like 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:22.679 literally you'll. 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:23.520 Not saying. 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:25.960 Yes. 0:06:26.960 --> 0:06:31.520 I always think of that song Gucci Gucci, that like 0:06:31.720 --> 0:06:36.400 this old ass song by Kreas this girl but when 0:06:36.480 --> 0:06:39.200 she but when when she said, why are you looking better? 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:41.719 I'd be looking better. I'm just like, girl, that's exactly 0:06:42.279 --> 0:06:42.920 all the time. 0:06:43.520 --> 0:06:44.799 You're looking big and I'm looking. 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:48.599 Better, bitch, okay, why are you looking better and better? 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:52.320 I was thinking about this because recently, too, I like 0:06:52.440 --> 0:06:55.200 went viral and then I get a lot of weird 0:06:55.320 --> 0:06:58.520 comments from the fans, and I'd be like, oh my god, 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:00.800 this is so crazy because and and they're kind of 0:07:00.880 --> 0:07:02.800 me and like they want me to be constantly producing. 0:07:02.920 --> 0:07:05.520 They want like all this stuff, and I'm like, girl, 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:07.279 you all need to calm down because. 0:07:07.520 --> 0:07:08.880 I could take it or leave. I don't have to 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:09.160 do this. 0:07:09.760 --> 0:07:13.880 I'm beautiful. I've had sugar daddies have had like man like. 0:07:14.000 --> 0:07:16.080 I don't have to like do any of this. I 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:17.960 will leave this all behind and move on to a 0:07:18.000 --> 0:07:20.800 different world like the girl. I also could get a job. 0:07:20.880 --> 0:07:22.560 I'm just like a lot of these people do not. 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:26.480 They can't go from my idea, the conception of the projects. 0:07:26.880 --> 0:07:28.600 And that's that's the skill in itself. 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:30.760 Yeah, I love that. 0:07:32.360 --> 0:07:32.600 Weak. 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:35.840 Okay, sorry, we know that. What I'm screaming. You said, 0:07:36.600 --> 0:07:38.560 the only concession you got is when you were born girl, 0:07:38.680 --> 0:07:38.960 that's it. 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:39.520 Wow. 0:07:43.360 --> 0:07:43.640 Okay. 0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:47.560 Another and that we have gathered the girls but serving 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:50.120 but serving charisma. 0:07:50.240 --> 0:07:53.120 You needless nerve and talent they give them. Maru, we 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:54.920 have to get a quick break to play some mills. 0:07:54.960 --> 0:07:56.840 Be back with a que Conbo will start more, and. 0:07:57.000 --> 0:08:09.960 Justin said, all right, y'all. So as we dive into 0:08:09.960 --> 0:08:13.640 today's conversation, I wanted to understand one thing I had 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:16.440 when I was doing my Instagram stalking, which I always 0:08:16.520 --> 0:08:19.040 do before a guest comes on. There's something that you 0:08:19.480 --> 0:08:21.880 talk a lot about in your work, which is the fantasy, 0:08:22.040 --> 0:08:25.000 right and talking about the future and talking about all 0:08:25.080 --> 0:08:27.080 of those things right, how they connect. And so you've 0:08:27.160 --> 0:08:29.200 mentioned that you strive to live the fantasy in a 0:08:29.280 --> 0:08:32.920 world that's actively working against you, which I absolutely love 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:37.240 and adore, and so that term the fantasy and all 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:39.760 of all of these words, right, these all the things serving, 0:08:40.040 --> 0:08:41.600 all of these things have been things that we as 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:44.800 the queer community and trans community have used to kind 0:08:44.840 --> 0:08:47.520 of express ourselves and to talk about who we are. 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:50.960 And so sometimes, you know, I do know one thing 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:52.360 that I've been thinking a lot about is how the 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:55.760 fantasy can be lethal for our trans siblings. And so 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:58.400 I wanted to ask you in this moment, you know, 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:01.000 what does it mean for you to eg xist and 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:06.400 thrive in the fantasy? In this current moment, I think, 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:10.040 like it's so interesting because I do feel like I 0:09:10.120 --> 0:09:13.760 live in my own world sometimes, and I live in 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:16.040 a place like I'm in California, I'm in LA where 0:09:16.600 --> 0:09:20.600 like I don't feel othered, super othered walking around as 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:21.400 a transperson. 0:09:21.559 --> 0:09:22.760 I don't really feel that way. 0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:27.200 And I also have privileges having being like more surspassing 0:09:27.640 --> 0:09:30.120 like I have privileges so I don't necessarily on my 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:32.680 day to day deal with sort of like actor transphobia 0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:34.959 I think what I did with more than anything is 0:09:35.040 --> 0:09:42.280 anti blackness and like misoge noire, and I think the 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:45.120 fantasy for myself is really I just sort of built 0:09:45.200 --> 0:09:48.840 in my mind this idea that like, I am sickening, 0:09:49.280 --> 0:09:53.319 and sometimes when people are hateful, it is because I 0:09:53.400 --> 0:09:56.600 am just so sickening that they cannot simply take as 0:09:56.679 --> 0:09:59.160 we said earlier. And I think that is something that 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:02.000 really does help me sleep at night though, because it's 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:04.920 like I could be upset about something happening. For example, 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:07.559 even today, I was like this, I've recorded a song 0:10:07.640 --> 0:10:10.160 with somebody and I gave them all these ideas and 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:12.439 I was like, you should use the sample of like 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:15.560 Tyra yelling at be quiet Tiffany, like that that would 0:10:15.600 --> 0:10:18.600 eat in a track. Why when I asked the boy 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:20.559 for the track, I didn't get the track, but I 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:22.200 look on Instagram and the. 0:10:22.280 --> 0:10:23.360 Song is made. 0:10:24.000 --> 0:10:27.120 Yea, my vocals are gone and the Tyra is in this. 0:10:27.720 --> 0:10:29.199 The thing that I told him to do is in 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:31.960 the thing. And I was thinking to myself, like, girl, 0:10:32.000 --> 0:10:33.880 I'm just so sick. My ideas are just so good. 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:37.200 My it really is really just like, oh, my ideas 0:10:37.240 --> 0:10:39.839 are just so good, Like I should really just like 0:10:40.160 --> 0:10:41.920 use them for myself anyway. 0:10:44.760 --> 0:10:46.840 So no, but is that shally a great segue into 0:10:47.000 --> 0:10:50.120 into my question because it's like it's about your about 0:10:50.280 --> 0:10:53.280 you being a music artist. So I love I love 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:54.760 like I'm just so sicking that people will take my 0:10:54.800 --> 0:10:57.160 ideas like I love that. I love the mindset because 0:10:57.240 --> 0:11:00.839 like like it's like you like like you could say 0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:02.160 mad bi or be like, I'm just so sick that 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:04.120 people just love people that love just taking my shit. 0:11:04.720 --> 0:11:08.040 Like so I am thinking about how you take up 0:11:08.120 --> 0:11:11.040 space in the electron pop lane as well, because I 0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:13.200 know that you're a music artist. You have done done 0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:15.960 electron pop, you electron and pop, you work with folks 0:11:16.000 --> 0:11:20.160 still music, especially as black artists, when people don't always associate. 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:23.599 Like like this lane with blackness. I want to know 0:11:23.679 --> 0:11:24.880 how do you thrive in this space? 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:28.560 And also like how like how how do you navigate 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:31.080 being a black artist when people do take your shit 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:31.400 like this. 0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:34.560 I think it's just it's so funny if you think 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:36.240 about it, because it's like a lot of white boys 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:39.319 and I'm like a white boy can never a straight 0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:41.160 white boy especially it's not going to think about like 0:11:41.280 --> 0:11:44.719 the fat things that our community creates. And that's why, 0:11:45.920 --> 0:11:49.440 if you like, think about internet language right now, everybody 0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:53.000 talks like they're adult from nineteen ninety yep. 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:55.200 Like what like everybody talks. 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:57.920 Like adult Like I'm like, oh you you're all literally 0:11:58.040 --> 0:12:01.960 regurgitating everything that you heard that has made it into 0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:04.240 your ears. And I think it's just it is a 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:08.800 symptom of the times, like people are so desperate for 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:12.319 something that makes them feel different. And I think we 0:12:12.480 --> 0:12:13.839 live in a world and this is a lot I 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:15.599 have a larger thought about this, but I feel like 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:19.040 post Black Lives Matter, we are living in like a 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:22.319 reactionary phase to that because people realize that like most 0:12:22.320 --> 0:12:23.760 of their culture and most of the things that they 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:28.240 love all came from black people specifically, and now they 0:12:28.280 --> 0:12:31.440 felt othered, and so they're just going to take our 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:35.920 culture without having us yep. And in the conversation. And 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:38.079 I think that is why, because they don't want to 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:40.000 feel bad. They don't want to feel bad about themselves. 0:12:40.040 --> 0:12:42.240 They want to feel like, oh my God, like oh 0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:44.320 I'm wrong or something. And that's why we have all 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:47.080 of these white people who are all sorts of identities. 0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:49.600 Now I'm playing identity politics with each other and policing 0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:53.480 each other in order to absconde themselves from any feeling 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:57.240 of being the bad guy. And so when it comes 0:12:57.240 --> 0:12:59.079 to my music and my ideas, it's like, oh, like, 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:01.240 I don't really like the music industry. I'm actually really 0:13:01.280 --> 0:13:04.360 happy that I'm working in other art forms because I 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:07.240 know that film people. Film people always are like, oh, 0:13:07.360 --> 0:13:10.439 film is like the most toxic industry. I'm like, actually, music, 0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:12.319 I think is one of the most toxic industries. 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:18.000 Agree. I agree, reareheartedly yeah, and we can we can 0:13:18.080 --> 0:13:19.839 talk for days. I mean, we've had folks on the 0:13:19.840 --> 0:13:23.079 show talk about why they've intentionally stayed independent and why 0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:26.600 they've you know, refused to sign contracts and YadA, YadA, YadA, 0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:28.640 and so I appreciate you uplifting that. And I can 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:31.760 only imagine what it's like to be, you know, to 0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:33.800 be I don't want to say this for it to 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:36.360 come across as it being like dismissive, but I can 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:39.920 imagine what it's like for you to be. So I 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:42.000 love the energy you give. I don't want to say 0:13:42.000 --> 0:13:44.040 that you're full of yourself because you're not. I want 0:13:44.080 --> 0:13:46.839 to say that you love you more than other people 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:50.319 could ever fathom and I love that. I love when 0:13:50.360 --> 0:13:52.520 people are like, I'm that girl and you just have 0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:54.760 to deal with it. And I think the industry and 0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:56.880 I think society wants to break that down. And I 0:13:56.960 --> 0:13:59.000 think that that's one of the reasons why I'm so 0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:01.360 happy that you're on the show show because that's something 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:03.520 I feel like we tell all of our listeners that 0:14:03.600 --> 0:14:06.120 we want folks to really listen to the show and 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:08.520 to get that message as well, like you have the 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:12.120 right to love yourself unapologetically. You have the right to 0:14:12.200 --> 0:14:14.120 have the audacity, and so I love that you're pouring 0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:18.720 into yourself. Yeah, so I'm going to ask this question. 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:21.960 I know, Joho, I'll be transparent and saying this is 0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:25.680 not a me question, Joho put this question here, so 0:14:25.800 --> 0:14:29.520 I'm a rock with it. I know your last name 0:14:29.640 --> 0:14:32.000 was inspired by the Shinto goddess. I don't want to 0:14:32.040 --> 0:14:33.840 pretend like I know what I'm talking about what I 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:36.120 really don't. So you're gonna educate me in this smoke 0:14:37.320 --> 0:14:40.040 inspired by the Shinto goddess. And I'm curious what the 0:14:40.120 --> 0:14:43.800 process of choosing that name was like, and like when 0:14:44.160 --> 0:14:46.800 folks transition and choose their name, like what is the 0:14:46.880 --> 0:14:49.880 process like, given how different the process may look for 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:53.200 you or for other people specifically in this administration, what 0:14:53.360 --> 0:14:55.480 advice would you give to folks who are in the 0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:58.480 process of trying to figure out who they are and 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:00.520 what their name might be and how they want to 0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:01.720 kind of show up in the world. 0:15:02.440 --> 0:15:04.440 That's so funny. I love that question. Thank you. 0:15:05.120 --> 0:15:08.400 Thank you both for the combo effects of this question. 0:15:09.640 --> 0:15:12.760 When I was a teenager, like sixteen seventeen, I started 0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:18.040 going by star and I always liked star Shine, Like 0:15:18.200 --> 0:15:19.840 for some reason that stood out to me. I think, 0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:23.840 there's a musical hair and they say star Shine. You know, 0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:26.840 they think about star Shine that it says hello, And 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:31.320 so I wanted to be star Shine. When I was nineteen, 0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:34.040 I had left Austin, Texas, where I was, and I 0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:37.800 moved to San Francisco and there was this queer youth 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:41.200 center called Lyric and they had like a lawyer who 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:43.720 would go with you to the courthouse to follow your 0:15:43.800 --> 0:15:47.840 name change paperwork. So I was like star Shine kind 0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:49.960 of at the time, and I was trying to find 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:53.120 words that meant shining or to shine or something like that. 0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:54.720 Like I was like, I want a new I want 0:15:54.760 --> 0:15:58.800 something that means shining. So when I was on a 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:02.280 baby naming website, I seen Amatarassu, like it was like 0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:05.560 lots of goddesses names and Matarassu was there and I 0:16:05.640 --> 0:16:08.400 was like, oh, that's beautiful, like, oh, it's shining one 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:10.480 in heaven. I think it is what it translates too 0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:13.360 similar to that. I was like, yes, I'm star shining 0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:18.360 one in heaven and so okay, I like thought about 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:20.840 the name. Then a couple of weeks later, I missed 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:24.760 my first appointment to go to the courthouse. It's okay. 0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:27.720 The lawyer got back with me. He rocked with me. 0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:28.920 He was like, I know the dolls. 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:30.880 I know the dolls are on all time. So the 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:32.880 second appointment, I go, I know this is a long story. 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:35.760 I'm sorry, but it's not at all. Tell the story, baby, 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:38.360 I love it. The second appointment, I go, right, so 0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:42.960 I'm there. I'm like, I'm Morassu. I fill out the paperwork. 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:45.080 We filed the court work paperwork. 0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:47.440 I go to court. 0:16:47.640 --> 0:16:50.240 Then a few weeks later and the judge is like, okay, 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:52.960 I'm Arassu. My name is side. They notarize the paper. 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:57.000 Why I googled my last name A Morassu and nothing 0:16:57.040 --> 0:16:59.800 shut up. I was like, no, I'm Marasu and it's 0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:03.960 and then I look and I'm like, Ahma Terasu, and 0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:06.399 I was like, oh my god, like I totally spelled 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:09.960 it wrong. And then I was like, that's fab actually, 0:17:10.040 --> 0:17:16.600 because now I have my own name. Yeah, I have 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:19.399 the name that a nineteen year old went and filed 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:22.960 paperwork for not realizing that and not double checking that 0:17:23.040 --> 0:17:26.159 she spelled it right. And I honestly I feel like 0:17:26.280 --> 0:17:29.359 it's so iconic because I know it really is like 0:17:29.440 --> 0:17:32.720 real baby Japanese culture anyway, So I'm like, girl, I'm 0:17:32.720 --> 0:17:36.320 not Japanese. I'm literally just Amarasu and it's a completely 0:17:36.359 --> 0:17:36.920 made up name. 0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:37.639 So there we go. 0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:41.520 There. I love it. I love it. That was so cute. 0:17:43.359 --> 0:17:44.800 You so much? 0:17:45.400 --> 0:17:48.920 Yeah, so because I first because like so it's like 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:52.240 I'm also I'm like hugely into gIBIS culture. Manga anime 0:17:52.920 --> 0:17:55.800 were all watch my growing up, and so I wish 0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:57.800 I thought it was inspired by Nut, which is like 0:17:57.880 --> 0:18:01.440 which is an anime where they're they're like one of 0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:04.240 one of the special moods is is Ama Terasu. And 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:06.919 it's like like it's it's a star shaped like uh 0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:09.560 like ninja art. It's a lot of low Than'm not 0:18:09.600 --> 0:18:11.560 gonna get into. But I first I was inspired by that, 0:18:12.119 --> 0:18:14.720 and so hearing this is sending me because it's just 0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:18.800 so not what I was expecting you to say at all. 0:18:19.359 --> 0:18:22.000 And then when you when you said that you signed it, 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:24.800 I'm around su. My first off was like did she 0:18:25.000 --> 0:18:25.840 just did she? 0:18:26.160 --> 0:18:26.280 Oh? 0:18:26.400 --> 0:18:26.440 No? 0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:31.080 That is iconic. 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:35.480 That is like a behavior like like everything everything you're 0:18:35.480 --> 0:18:38.280 saying doing, I'm like, okay, like this, like this is 0:18:38.280 --> 0:18:40.040 what it means, like like the joy of living in. 0:18:40.080 --> 0:18:41.840 Your world, like the joy living in your own world. 0:18:42.520 --> 0:18:43.360 It's so powerful. 0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:46.760 Also, like it's like such a direct response of like 0:18:46.920 --> 0:18:49.040 this is what menverstation looks like like when you truly 0:18:49.520 --> 0:18:52.680 trust and believe in yourself fully and you can do 0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:54.200 anything and you're fucking doing it. 0:18:54.200 --> 0:18:56.200 And I just I live. I live so much. 0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:02.080 You know, your content is so fun and imaginative and different, 0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:04.560 and I want to and like different different sense of 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:07.159 like you do so many things that you are multifascitude, 0:19:07.680 --> 0:19:09.440 So I want to know, like what inspires you for 0:19:09.760 --> 0:19:11.159 like for it when in Surpas you make content, when 0:19:11.440 --> 0:19:13.360 you make music, what inspise you to like just show 0:19:13.480 --> 0:19:15.280 by your full self, what moves you into. 0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:19.600 These different lanes, you know, being so multi hibernated and 0:19:20.000 --> 0:19:20.520 all that you do. 0:19:20.560 --> 0:19:25.800 And our well, often I just kind of go with 0:19:26.040 --> 0:19:29.399 my gut. I think we've sort of danced around that 0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:32.080 in this conversation. But like my intuition really is like 0:19:32.200 --> 0:19:36.000 what I'm followed, I lead, I lead myself by it, 0:19:36.080 --> 0:19:37.800 and I follow it, you know what I mean. It's 0:19:37.840 --> 0:19:41.040 like I'm just going through I forgot one part to 0:19:41.119 --> 0:19:43.680