Speaker 1: The Nick Greiser Podcast. O n Here's Nikky. Hello here.
Speaker 1: I am welcome to the show, this Nick Laser Podcast.
Speaker 1: How the hell are you? Um? I am here in St. Louis, Missouri.
Speaker 1: Noah is in Arizona. I'm sitting on the opposite side
Speaker 1: of the room that I normally do, and I just
Speaker 1: spilled zevia all over me because I'm not used to
Speaker 1: navigating this. Mike's standing. Um, I got all wet, and
Speaker 1: uh it feels good for once in my thirty eight
Speaker 1: year old life to get wet because it doesn't happen
Speaker 1: as much anymore. Do you feel do you feel the
Speaker 1: dryness happening? I definitely am the way less hornier than
Speaker 1: I was in my twenties. That's it. That's like I
Speaker 1: feel crazy because of it, because it just feels I
Speaker 1: just it's too soon for that to start. I want
Speaker 1: to be I I don't know. I still get get
Speaker 1: you know what. I got horned up by like some
Speaker 1: certain things. I sometimes feel like a man because I
Speaker 1: rarely am just like so turned on by something that
Speaker 1: it inspires me to do something. But once in a
Speaker 1: while it gets me. Okay, have you been watching White Lotus?
Speaker 1: I have not been, but I hear it's very sexy. God, Okay,
Speaker 1: you're gonna love it so much. I'm excited for you
Speaker 1: to see it. It's just beautifully shot. It's written by
Speaker 1: this guy who just like he just gets women. I
Speaker 1: don't know. It just feels feminist and it's creepy. But
Speaker 1: it's beautiful and all the actors are so good except
Speaker 1: for a couple. I won't name names, but just like
Speaker 1: I didn't name names for the dahm Er thing, but
Speaker 1: some people guessed who I thought was the worst actor
Speaker 1: ever because it was so glaringly bad. Um, No, pretty
Speaker 1: much everyone's a good actor on White Lotus And who
Speaker 1: am I to say? Because I would probably be the
Speaker 1: weakest link on there, But I want to get on
Speaker 1: season three. I think I'm just well known enough, but
Speaker 1: not known enough to get on there anyway. They're a
Speaker 1: gie ony theo James. You want to give him a
Speaker 1: little goog He's I feel bad like I. It's it's
Speaker 1: it's it's a lot like the thing, like the show alone.
Speaker 1: When I said, I was watching that with Chris and
Speaker 1: I was so attracted to that guy Clay that I
Speaker 1: had to tell Chris because I just felt like it
Speaker 1: was the elephant in my pants. Like it was just
Speaker 1: every time he came on screen, I would be like,
Speaker 1: oh God, he's so hot, and I just felt like
Speaker 1: I was almost like not cheating, but like I had
Speaker 1: to share it with him. Like there's something emotional that
Speaker 1: happens when you're like have a crush on someone on
Speaker 1: TV that feels like I just want to share it
Speaker 1: with my partner. That's so much of TV watching was
Speaker 1: to be like, oh my god, he's so even if
Speaker 1: it was like I try to um, because if you
Speaker 1: white watch why Lotus, most people do um, No, you're you're, you're,
Speaker 1: you're out of the loop. Um. But there's a girl
Speaker 1: on there too that's a h L prostituto. That's not
Speaker 1: the Italian for it, but she's a prostitute and or
Speaker 1: sex worker and um, Lucia Lucia, and she is so
Speaker 1: hot and much like CEO James, whenever she comes on screen,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god. But Theo James, there's something
Speaker 1: about a extremely hot douchebag character that like really gets me.
Speaker 1: And I was trying to like look at pictures of him.
Speaker 1: First of all, he has no Instagram, so there's no
Speaker 1: way to see, Like I just wanted to get like
Speaker 1: footage of him to like I was eventually gonna end
Speaker 1: up watching like hardcore porn, but like I wanted to
Speaker 1: like maybe grease the wheels because I've just been He's
Speaker 1: just the hottest thing I've seen in a really long time. Um,
Speaker 1: besides my fucking boyfriend. But you know, the thing that
Speaker 1: I saw that I don't have with me, and that
Speaker 1: you know, adds a little bit of like, oh, just
Speaker 1: more desire to it. And he um, he has no
Speaker 1: presence online and he's kind of like an unknown and
Speaker 1: he uh yeah that he's that he has no Instagram
Speaker 1: is so hot. His Instagram him People must think it's
Speaker 1: him because it's got like two hundred something thousand followers.
Speaker 1: But it's made by a fan, and I know most
Speaker 1: people that follow him, I think it's him, But it's
Speaker 1: not official. It's not it doesn't have a blue check mark.
Speaker 1: It's called THEO James Official. But all of the captions
Speaker 1: it's definitely by a fan because the captions are like, um,
Speaker 1: it says like my DearS in three days. It's just
Speaker 1: a picture of him like wistfully sitting by a thing
Speaker 1: he would never owe. Another one is life is not
Speaker 1: the days that have passed, but those that are remembered.
Speaker 1: It seems like he's writing these captions, so hundreds of
Speaker 1: thousands of people think this guy is worse than his character,
Speaker 1: and his character is scummy. I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1: The other guy that did this to me, the only
Speaker 1: one in the past on a TV show is and
Speaker 1: I'm watching it again. I'm rewatching Veep is Dan's character
Speaker 1: on Veep, and it's another character that is just a
Speaker 1: rapscallion is never to be trusted, will never love one woman,
Speaker 1: will always cheat, And I don't really want these people
Speaker 1: to like love me. But it was funny. I was
Speaker 1: sharing with my friends on the chat that THEO James.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, the guy in White
Speaker 1: Lotus is so fucking hot, and all of them were like,
Speaker 1: he's too hot. I wouldn't I couldn't be with someone
Speaker 1: that hot. And I'm like, what do you mean and
Speaker 1: they're like, I need him to have like discolored teeth
Speaker 1: or something like a crooked like a scar or you know,
Speaker 1: big ears. Something needs to offset him so that I
Speaker 1: know other women won't like that. Everyone doesn't want him.
Speaker 1: It would drive me crazy to think everyone wanted him,
Speaker 1: whereas I was like, it would drive me fucking crazy.
Speaker 1: It would be like so hot to think everyone wanted him,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I got him. That made me feel amazing.
Speaker 1: What do you think, like, Chris, Yes, I see you
Speaker 1: to him all the time. And Chris is just kind
Speaker 1: of like you're just saying that so you can get
Speaker 1: away with saying he's hot. But I'm like, no, he
Speaker 1: does look like you. Um, it's like dark features. Um.
Speaker 1: A picture that made me super horned up lately. Yes, please,
Speaker 1: you posted a photo of you and Esther Pavitski at
Speaker 1: the awarding and you you're holding her hand and she
Speaker 1: looks like it's like dumb and slave. It was so
Speaker 1: it's so I was that was so fun to the
Speaker 1: People's Choice Awards last night. It came up out of
Speaker 1: sucking nowhere. Um, over the weekend, things always come up
Speaker 1: last minute for me. So grateful that someone thought to
Speaker 1: plug me into this show because it was so much fun.
Speaker 1: But um, I presented for Best Late Night Hosts, which
Speaker 1: is a really cool a word to present. And I
Speaker 1: love going to these awards shows because you see crazy,
Speaker 1: big celebrities. You get to like walk amongst them. Um,
Speaker 1: red carpets are always fun. Um you get to see
Speaker 1: cool performances, which I didn't get to see. Shania Twain performed,
Speaker 1: and I love her. I watched her documentary and I'm
Speaker 1: just so obsessed with her journey and like just how
Speaker 1: powerful she is and just um, she writes all her
Speaker 1: own songs and her voice is just cool and she
Speaker 1: worked so fucking hard to get where she is. That's that.
Speaker 1: Shania Dock is pretty Uh, you can tell she had
Speaker 1: a heavy hand, and it doesn't really delve into her divorce,
Speaker 1: which is super interesting because he cheated on her with
Speaker 1: her best friend and then she ended up marrying the
Speaker 1: guy who was used to be married to her best
Speaker 1: friend because they both got cheated on and started hanging
Speaker 1: out like God, our partners are together, and then they
Speaker 1: ended up together so good, but they barely touched on that.
Speaker 1: And she also had lime disease and like it fucked
Speaker 1: up her voice, like all of her vocal cords and like,
Speaker 1: you know, lime disease fox with you neuro logically, and
Speaker 1: so much of singing is neurological, like it's just your
Speaker 1: brain doing stuff that you can't really even you don't
Speaker 1: even know how or why it's happening. So anyway, Um,
Speaker 1: she sounded great last night she performed, but my person
Speaker 1: I was presenting like forty minutes after she performed, so
Speaker 1: they pulled me backstage. I was seated in the audience
Speaker 1: at first, and I missed. I was like backstage in
Speaker 1: this little holding tent where Heidi Klum was there, and um,
Speaker 1: trying to think of who else, little rel some housewives. Um,
Speaker 1: but it was so I got asked to do this,
Speaker 1: and then I was like Chris was flying back from
Speaker 1: l A. He was there for a couple of days
Speaker 1: after I moved out. So I moved out to l A,
Speaker 1: came back here. I supposed to have some time off,
Speaker 1: and then I got I know, and then it is
Speaker 1: one of those things where they ask and you kind
Speaker 1: of go, I wish this would have not been. I
Speaker 1: wish they didn't think of me, because now I have
Speaker 1: to do it. I have to do this because it's
Speaker 1: such a cool opportunity. You can't say no, but I
Speaker 1: do want the time off. You know. It's like when
Speaker 1: your friend has a party or something. You just want
Speaker 1: the night off. But you're like, well, it's I gotta
Speaker 1: go to this party, like you just do you relate
Speaker 1: to that of like, I gotta go because it's going
Speaker 1: to be a good experience, but god, I don't want
Speaker 1: to and I just want to sleep, and I didn't
Speaker 1: want to go back to l A and travel, and
Speaker 1: I just I've been feeling like uncomfortable in my own
Speaker 1: body a little bit, and I just didn't want to
Speaker 1: go to a fitting because everything is always so tight
Speaker 1: and so nice. Whenever it's tight, they're just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is a weird designer. They make things like super
Speaker 1: like the sizes are all different, and like, honestly, this
Speaker 1: is a dumb garment, Like they shame the garment. It's
Speaker 1: so nice. They're always like you, we don't even like this.
Speaker 1: It would never have worked. I hate this color. They
Speaker 1: always it clearly is like I'm not the size I
Speaker 1: used to be and they were taking a gamble. But
Speaker 1: then they always make it the dress's fault and I
Speaker 1: love them for it. What was your question? Did you
Speaker 1: okay your outfit? Let's talk about it was a lavender dress?
Speaker 1: Was that a tribute to Taylor Swift? No, I didn't
Speaker 1: even think to put lavender Hayes as my caption for
Speaker 1: the pictures until my second post because a bestie, I
Speaker 1: think a bestie wrote me like, this is your Lavender
Speaker 1: Hayes moment, and I go there. I was searching through
Speaker 1: bejeweled lyrics to try to find something that like resonated
Speaker 1: with the look, and then Lavender Hayes is staring at
Speaker 1: me the whole time. Um. It was the first dress
Speaker 1: I tried on. When I was the second, there was
Speaker 1: a couple of things that didn't sit, um, a boostier thing,
Speaker 1: but there was the second thing I tried on. I
Speaker 1: was drawn to it. It reminded me of something Porsche
Speaker 1: would wear on white Lotus. If you're watching it, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like this, it's balm and I've never worn
Speaker 1: bomb me. I think it just to say like a
Speaker 1: bomb and ball men um, and it was like tweed
Speaker 1: And yeah, it was totally a tailor swift moment. I
Speaker 1: didn't even think about that. It felt like I felt
Speaker 1: young in it, you know, it felt like a young look.
Speaker 1: And there were some other looks that I was dying for.
Speaker 1: I mean they you we usually go through about ten
Speaker 1: to twenty looks in a fitting and then we always
Speaker 1: know like kind of which one is the one like
Speaker 1: it's just so easy to choose, But this time it
Speaker 1: was ironic because I went into the fitting being like, guys,
Speaker 1: I really don't like my body right now. I'm I'm
Speaker 1: just being honest with you. Don't try to like tell
Speaker 1: me that I'm the same, so I know I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm not used to being this feeling this way. I'm
Speaker 1: about to start my period today tomorrow, and um, so
Speaker 1: I felt like nothing was going to feel right. And
Speaker 1: then there were four things that I was like, I
Speaker 1: could wear any of these, but you also kind of
Speaker 1: don't know how it's good, how how other people are
Speaker 1: gonna be dressed. You don't want to be overdressed. I
Speaker 1: also wasn't nominated for a word I'm presenting one, so
Speaker 1: I don't want to get too sparkly, like this is
Speaker 1: my night. So I settled on a fun dress and
Speaker 1: it was just totally glammed out on my GLAMs. So
Speaker 1: my fitting was at twelve in the afternoon. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: got my nails done in eleven. That was worthless because
Speaker 1: I put on this sparkly number and I couldn't get
Speaker 1: it off, so I had to like claw at it
Speaker 1: and then all my nails got just like you know
Speaker 1: when they're like dry and they just those gummy streaks
Speaker 1: you get in them, and you're just like, that was
Speaker 1: just a waste of my fucking hour. And and he
Speaker 1: just waited in that saloon and there was this woman
Speaker 1: talking on her fucking speaker phone so loud it was
Speaker 1: so annoying. Um But anyway, uh so my day started
Speaker 1: like a ten forty five. I stayed in bed until then.
Speaker 1: I was like, I've been listening to these um mantra
Speaker 1: meditations by Louise Hay and they're all over YouTube. She's
Speaker 1: dead now, but she does these meditations where she has
Speaker 1: you do positive reinforcement. I think I've talked on the
Speaker 1: show before about her. What she says is that if
Speaker 1: you are grateful for the things that the world is
Speaker 1: giving you, why would the world ever keep giving you gifts?
Speaker 1: If you every year gave a gift to someone and
Speaker 1: they said I don't like it, it's not good enough,
Speaker 1: would you keep giving that person gifts? So you must
Speaker 1: be grateful for what you have. And so she also
Speaker 1: believes in subliminal message. So I've been playing these as
Speaker 1: I go to sleep because I've just been having some
Speaker 1: like self esteem issues rearing up lately, and this one
Speaker 1: has really helped me. And it's I approve of myself,
Speaker 1: and I just say I approve of myself all day long.
Speaker 1: I approved it just in my head, I approve of myself.
Speaker 1: I approve of myself. And if you say it eight
Speaker 1: hundred to times a day, just like in your head,
Speaker 1: I approve myself. I've proved myself, proven myself to proven myself.
Speaker 1: Just whispering it to yourself or not even say, but
Speaker 1: just like saying it in your head, it starts to
Speaker 1: fucking work. And it doesn't even have to mean anything
Speaker 1: to you. Like I said so many times another day,
Speaker 1: it started just to sound like approve myself like an
Speaker 1: a PRONAMU self an apronymus Like it didn't sound like anything,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, how is my brain even gonna know
Speaker 1: that that means I approve of myself. But um, it
Speaker 1: has worked for me. And I don't know why I
Speaker 1: didn't come up with this earlier, because I cured my
Speaker 1: back injury on Dancing with the Stars by saying I'm
Speaker 1: strong and prepared. This is easy, So why wouldn't I
Speaker 1: just say I approve of myself and it's just a
Speaker 1: perfect thing to do because it's not like I am beautiful.
Speaker 1: You can do anything like things that I'm kind of
Speaker 1: like rolling my eyes. I approved myself. It's not asking much,
Speaker 1: so I've been just repeating I approved myself over and
Speaker 1: over and um, and it worked and I felt really Um.
Speaker 1: I almost wanted to tag Louise Hey and my pictures
Speaker 1: to be like and confidence by Louise Hey, like r
Speaker 1: I P bitch. So if you ever anyone's feeling low
Speaker 1: put on just go to YouTube and type in Louise
Speaker 1: Hey and she has meditations or like little speeches for
Speaker 1: like anything you're struggling with. It's pretty great. Um And
Speaker 1: then um, did you like something there? Yes, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: it was so nice. Because so I got a plus one,
Speaker 1: which is actually controversy today because Chris shell Strauss, who
Speaker 1: is nominated, did not get a plus one. So I
Speaker 1: guess if you're nominated, you don't get a plus one.
Speaker 1: But if you're presenting, you're actually part of the show.
Speaker 1: But if you're nominated you unless you win, you're not
Speaker 1: a part of the show. But I got a plus one,
Speaker 1: which is a coveted thing. Who knew um and I
Speaker 1: was like struggling with like who to invite, Like, I
Speaker 1: just wanted someone who would appreciate all the celebs, someone
Speaker 1: who would be low maintenance, someone who would be good
Speaker 1: arm candy, all the things and um and Chris. I
Speaker 1: was like asking Chris, like who should I take? Because
Speaker 1: this is I don't want to waste it. But I
Speaker 1: also don't necessarily need to go with anyone. If there's
Speaker 1: not someone that's a good fit, I can totally be
Speaker 1: fine on my own. And he was like, what about
Speaker 1: Esther Fitzky And he's never really even met Esther, but
Speaker 1: he just knows that I like yearn for her to
Speaker 1: be like closer to her, And man, it was the
Speaker 1: best choice because I wrote her. She was down, she
Speaker 1: had to go get COVID tested, she had to like
Speaker 1: you know, get a cute outfit and all the stuff.
Speaker 1: So it's like a lot of work and she was
Speaker 1: my plus one and we walked the red carpet together
Speaker 1: and it was just so perfect because man, I just
Speaker 1: wish everyone had someone like Esther in their life. I think, God,
Speaker 1: I have so many girlfriends like this that are just
Speaker 1: don't say anything shady, they're just completely nice and honest
Speaker 1: and easy, easy, easy, easy, And I don't think I
Speaker 1: don't think that many girls have this in their lives.
Speaker 1: Like she's just a stable person who has a lot
Speaker 1: of confidence and that confidence, but she just like talking
Speaker 1: about accepting herself. She's Louis Louise Hay the ship out
Speaker 1: of herself. Like she's someone I really looked to for
Speaker 1: advice when I'm going through stuff because she just she
Speaker 1: loves herself in a healthy way. She's so funny, she
Speaker 1: just is who she is. She also so we rocked
Speaker 1: the red carpet and we're walking out and it was
Speaker 1: kind of like do we do with this alone? And
Speaker 1: I was like, let's do a few alone and then
Speaker 1: I was like, but let's go together. And then we
Speaker 1: were like can we hold hands? And I was like yes,
Speaker 1: let's like create buzz who knows. And it just felt
Speaker 1: so good to be with a friend. And I I
Speaker 1: always bring friends with me on the carpet when I can,
Speaker 1: because these photographers, I mean, esther is a big deal.
Speaker 1: She's on um doll face that show. She's had her
Speaker 1: own show on Uh that I was on that she
Speaker 1: put me in. Thank God. It was so nice of her.
Speaker 1: Um called together alone together, yes, and um, she's just
Speaker 1: done a ton of stuff. If you don't follow follow
Speaker 1: esther monster on um, Instagram and TikTok, you're crazy. She's
Speaker 1: I was just like I couldn't get enough of her.
Speaker 1: I went home last night and just kept watching her
Speaker 1: on TikTok and I was like, she's so amazing and um, yeah,
Speaker 1: we decided to hold hands and it just felt safe
Speaker 1: and good and low stress, like she didn't need any caretaking.
Speaker 1: I wasn't like having to make sure she didn't feel
Speaker 1: like she wasn't feeling special enough because she some people
Speaker 1: didn't know her name on the red carpet or whatever,
Speaker 1: like they only knew my name because there was like
Speaker 1: a sign with it with a woman like taking me
Speaker 1: through because I was a presenter, you know. But there
Speaker 1: was no ego involved. She doesn't have any There's nothing
Speaker 1: like that and that can be rare to find in
Speaker 1: a a female industry friend. Um, and I just loved
Speaker 1: her for it was so nice and yeah, we just
Speaker 1: were like freaking out about celebrities. I put it on
Speaker 1: the Instagram. Olivia Wild just suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
Speaker 1: It was like seeing a like Bambi she is so stunning.
Speaker 1: She's just as like beautiful as you'd want. She did
Speaker 1: not have hair extensions, in which I respected. I definitely did.
Speaker 1: Let me just say my my whole thing of like
Speaker 1: never doing hair extensions again because I wanted to like
Speaker 1: normalize having normal hair. That's gone, okay, just no, I
Speaker 1: want to keep you guys, I want to keep it honest.
Speaker 1: No one, no one is not wearing hair extensions, including me.
Speaker 1: I am wearing. I had so much of some woman's hair.
Speaker 1: I don't know where she is. She had a great
Speaker 1: life though, because it was so conditioned and so beautiful
Speaker 1: and silky, and I just kept feeling it all night long.
Speaker 1: And it's gone now and now it feels so coarse.
Speaker 1: But I'm back on the extension train. It was so
Speaker 1: fun to have them, and it's like who cares, you know.
Speaker 1: But I did see a girl getting the one kind
Speaker 1: that you have the other day at the salon. Noah.
Speaker 1: It's like such an intense she was like getting her
Speaker 1: head sewed into. It's honestly, it's worth the It's it's
Speaker 1: not even painful. It's just like a little bit of discomfort.
Speaker 1: It's worth it. Though. Have you ever thought of doing
Speaker 1: clippings because they're so fucking easy. Um well, I had
Speaker 1: clippings before this, and I thought they were hard to maintain.
Speaker 1: I just want something like more permanent and unless worry
Speaker 1: about it. Yeah yeah, like these last way longer than
Speaker 1: the clippings and all that stuff easier to manage. I
Speaker 1: can't do the last extensions either, where they just grow out.
Speaker 1: I just anything that's like stuck to the thing, I
Speaker 1: get nervous. I just want to be able to take
Speaker 1: it out. Then tonight I like strip lashes. I peeled
Speaker 1: them off. Chris thinks they're little bugs all over the
Speaker 1: house every single time. I also got a spray tand
Speaker 1: I mean I was faked up my spray tan. It
Speaker 1: was so funny. The next day Chris was like, do
Speaker 1: you have a handprint on you? Because he came over
Speaker 1: to like rub my back because I was feeling sick
Speaker 1: the other day and um, he came over to rob
Speaker 1: it back and he showed me his hand and it
Speaker 1: looked like you know, like when people like vote in
Speaker 1: foreign countries and they're like they have like their hands staying.
Speaker 1: I don't know. There's an episode of Veep where they
Speaker 1: like voted in their thumbs were green. His hand was
Speaker 1: staying brown on his palm and it looked like, um,
Speaker 1: I don't know what it looked like. It looked he
Speaker 1: had brown, he had black hand, um, and he could
Speaker 1: have been canceled. Although I think black people's hands are
Speaker 1: actually like lighter colored, like on their pumps. So I
Speaker 1: don't even know what he had. But he was like
Speaker 1: the mark. He was like, I can't get it off,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, it's gonna be about three days, babe,
Speaker 1: it sloughs off. UM, But yeah, I was faked up.
Speaker 1: We'll talk more about the peoples choice towards because I've
Speaker 1: got more to say right after this. And we're back.
Speaker 1: So we get through the red carpet. We go to
Speaker 1: our seat. I am seated at a table. It's just
Speaker 1: me and esther, but the um, we're seated right next
Speaker 1: to the housewives. So there's like Kathy Hilton, Lisa, Renna,
Speaker 1: Crystal uh I forget her last name, mink Goff, Crystal
Speaker 1: mink Goff something. Um, I should know her name because
Speaker 1: she's my favorite, and we used to we hosted an
Speaker 1: E show one day, or co hosted, and she was
Speaker 1: really nice to me. UM. And then one of some
Speaker 1: of the other ones. I don't care about the Housewives.
Speaker 1: I never have. I've never followed it, but my mom,
Speaker 1: I know, would have freaked out. Um it was a shot.
Speaker 1: They were like in the table right next to you,
Speaker 1: right next to us. You can here exciting should I
Speaker 1: we could hear them, but I don't think they were.
Speaker 1: I wasn't trying to hear them, actually I was. We're
Speaker 1: mostly just like whispering about our lives, me and esther
Speaker 1: and like just talking about like we're really catching up,
Speaker 1: as you know. Ryan Reynolds was like accepting an award.
Speaker 1: We would be like I'd be like, so, like are
Speaker 1: you still into podcasting? Like how do you feel about
Speaker 1: and like what do you think I should do on TikTok?
Speaker 1: Like we were just talking about like like we were
Speaker 1: just in the back of a school bus and Ryan
Speaker 1: Reynolds is like crying about his family or whatever. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I like running Ryan Reynolds a lot. He's a class act.
Speaker 1: Lizzo also class act her her award. She like got
Speaker 1: a bunch of time and she gave it all to
Speaker 1: these like women that are all running organizations to help
Speaker 1: with women. And it was like she and they were
Speaker 1: like thirty twenty five of them, and she went through
Speaker 1: each of them and give a biography. And these are
Speaker 1: women that like everyone's like, everyone's clapping, but like really,
Speaker 1: this is like people want star power, and so I
Speaker 1: know that Alizzo did something where she could. They were like,
Speaker 1: we're gonna give you an icon award and she's like,
Speaker 1: the only way I'll except this is if you let
Speaker 1: me give time to these women. Because this was unheard.
Speaker 1: I've never seen people who are not celebrities celebrated for
Speaker 1: so long and like a big I mean it was
Speaker 1: probably six minutes of her just reading off people's bios
Speaker 1: of like this woman removed land mines from an area,
Speaker 1: this person fights for transgender rights. But you would give
Speaker 1: like a detail, bigraphy and there's this whole robe women,
Speaker 1: so you're kind of counting, like, oh my god, we're
Speaker 1: gonna want long to go. It was awesome and um
Speaker 1: and you could tell. So then Lizzo later on accepted
Speaker 1: an award for the best Song of the Year or whatever,
Speaker 1: and she comes out and because she didn't use her
Speaker 1: icon a word time to like sing, which they probably
Speaker 1: wanted her to do a song. And she was like no,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this instead, either to take it or
Speaker 1: leave it. They could probably go, okay, we'll take it.
Speaker 1: I think she gave them a little bit of a
Speaker 1: song because at her expectance speech, she was like she
Speaker 1: gave she sang a little bit. She's saying acapella and
Speaker 1: it was amazing. She's saying this staring banner, just kidding, um,
Speaker 1: just getting and um. So I just like, like looking
Speaker 1: at the politics of everything. And then Ryan Reynolds his speech.
Speaker 1: If you listen carefully, he name drops his production company
Speaker 1: like eighteen times, even though it's all about like we
Speaker 1: need to come together, but you know, Moonlight Ride, we're
Speaker 1: doing amazing things. Like he would just kept saying as
Speaker 1: dumb production company over and over and maybe they are
Speaker 1: doing great things, but like everyone has a bottom line,
Speaker 1: they're all trying to make money, but Lizzo was not.
Speaker 1: Lizzo was just actually using her time for good and
Speaker 1: I thought it was really cool and the people's champion.
Speaker 1: She is a people's champion. She's fucking awesome And I
Speaker 1: just loved watching her video montage made me like cry,
Speaker 1: what was that? What was it like to see her
Speaker 1: in person? She was so far away that it felt
Speaker 1: like I'm more intimate with her on TikTok, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like she's more close up, like I
Speaker 1: see her asked temples every single day I see her,
Speaker 1: Like her side feels like it is like wrapped around
Speaker 1: my head every day because it's so close up, so
Speaker 1: from far. Even in the same room as her, I
Speaker 1: will say that she's just I don't know, I'm just excited.
Speaker 1: I was excited to be in the same room as her,
Speaker 1: but um and I was excited to hear her sing
Speaker 1: that little bit. She's just got an amazing voice. But
Speaker 1: then there was this one woman who sang Lauren Conrad
Speaker 1: Spencer I think that's her name. She sang a song
Speaker 1: called Oh God, what's the the sweatsuit? Yes, stressed like
Speaker 1: Billie Eyelash Elash, Billie Eilish, Billy she Yeah, she was.
Speaker 1: She was Billy fake eyelash and um no. I saw
Speaker 1: her on the red carpet. I was like, who's this
Speaker 1: kind of like Billie Eilish wanna be And then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, she has like the most amazing voice,
Speaker 1: and she has this song called Fingers Crossed, So it's
Speaker 1: all about like I wish you said you love me
Speaker 1: without your fingers crossed. It's so good and I instantly esther.
Speaker 1: Came back to the table from the bathroom and the
Speaker 1: s girl was singing. She goes, who is this? And
Speaker 1: I go, I just looked up on Spotify. I'm adding
Speaker 1: her now, this is incredible. So I love discovering that
Speaker 1: new artist. Um. At one point, Heidi Klum walked by
Speaker 1: my table and like bumped into my chair in a
Speaker 1: way that it shook me. But I didn't think anything
Speaker 1: of it because we're really like all kind of crowded
Speaker 1: into this section where all the tables tables are. And
Speaker 1: then I heard excuse me, sorry, and I'm like and
Speaker 1: I turned around, I'm like, oh my god, it's Hykling
Speaker 1: just said sorry. Like she's good in my book the
Speaker 1: rest to my life because she apologized to me when
Speaker 1: she didn't need to. I wouldn't have even been like,
Speaker 1: who's that bitch bumping into me? I just was like
Speaker 1: on my phone and didn't care. But she made a
Speaker 1: point to be like, I'm sorry, excuse me, Um you
Speaker 1: are out and then um oh, and then I saw
Speaker 1: her backstage after I had said clean slate, like that
Speaker 1: girl can do no wrong. She could spit in my
Speaker 1: face and I'd still be like, she's a good person.
Speaker 1: She Um, I left my purse like on this couch
Speaker 1: backstage in this like holding area, and I had to
Speaker 1: go to the bathroom. I went and like you know,
Speaker 1: took care of business, and I came back and my
Speaker 1: I felt so bad because she had moved to the
Speaker 1: couch I was, my purse was on, and you could
Speaker 1: tell she kind of like moved it to the side
Speaker 1: so she could sit, so my person was just like
Speaker 1: taking up a seat. When I left, there was like
Speaker 1: no one in the room, and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: she's like sitting next to my person. I could tell
Speaker 1: she had to like touch it. Sometimes I feel like
Speaker 1: so burdened when like people have to like touch and
Speaker 1: move my things, like she probably was wearing like a
Speaker 1: lip glass would fall out or something. And I felt
Speaker 1: so bad that she even had to like look at
Speaker 1: my purse, even though it was beautiful and expensive, and
Speaker 1: I had to give it back and I was very
Speaker 1: worried I was gonna spill bronze are in it. Um.
Speaker 1: But then I went up and I go, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, and like moved it, and she looked
Speaker 1: at me very confused, and I go, okay, we're back
Speaker 1: to We're back to net zero. Like she just like
Speaker 1: whatever goodwill I had given her, I was like taking
Speaker 1: it away. But she was very personal. She was making
Speaker 1: eye contact with people and smiling and being like they're
Speaker 1: like hi, Hello, Hi, like she's and she looked stunning.
Speaker 1: And then Chris Jenner. Yes, I'm glad you bring up
Speaker 1: Chris Jenner, because I was gonna say, um, Heidi Quim's
Speaker 1: dress looked really hard to manage, but I think Chris Jenner,
Speaker 1: if you give a prize for like the most unmanageable dress,
Speaker 1: it was really Chris Jenner. I didn't even see her
Speaker 1: dress well, apparently when I got up to go backstage
Speaker 1: to the holdings area before I presented esther said that
Speaker 1: Chloe and and Chris sat at our table with us,
Speaker 1: and I missed it because I was in the bag.
Speaker 1: I missed Shanaya and I missed sitting at the same
Speaker 1: table as Chloe and Chris. And she said that Chloe
Speaker 1: and Chris did not look to make eye contact with anyone,
Speaker 1: like with her or anyone, so I think they're so
Speaker 1: used to like everyone wanting something from them, they probably
Speaker 1: just shut off eye contact and like avoid it. Because
Speaker 1: I found that if you don't make eye contact with people,
Speaker 1: you don't have to talk to them. That's how people
Speaker 1: have an ind where they go, oh hi, you know,
Speaker 1: they wave. But if you just kind of avoid it,
Speaker 1: you can get away with like I just didn't see you.
Speaker 1: But then I was walking back to my seat and
Speaker 1: Chris Jenner was crossing kind of in the backstage area
Speaker 1: and I saw her and I go, I love you,
Speaker 1: and she goes, oh, hi, hi, and like kind of
Speaker 1: and we almost like had a moment and like talked.
Speaker 1: She definitely knowledged me, definitely said hi, and it was thrilling.
Speaker 1: And then a camera caught it and I go, did
Speaker 1: you catch that? Please? Will you send me that footage?
Speaker 1: So the footage is out there somewhere of me freaking
Speaker 1: out um, And then we went to I did my part.
Speaker 1: I flubbed a line like right away. It was so
Speaker 1: scary because I walked out on stage. There was no rehearsal.
Speaker 1: By the way, They're just like, here's your mark. Walk there.
Speaker 1: They're very you know, tell you exactly where to go
Speaker 1: and how to stand and whatever. But I walk up
Speaker 1: and my my speech, what I'm to say, is not
Speaker 1: on the prompter. It's just blank. And I'm walking and
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, the laughter or the clap
Speaker 1: clapter claps dies down and there's still nothing on things.
Speaker 1: So I am panic mode, and then all of a
Speaker 1: sudden it comes up, and I'm so like overwhelmed by
Speaker 1: having to like I was about to just start and go, well,
Speaker 1: there's nothing on the prompter, but I'm gonna wing it
Speaker 1: listen every night, like I was getting ready to just
Speaker 1: go into that, and then all of a sudden it
Speaker 1: showed up. Because so it kind of like made me,
Speaker 1: uh stumble over my words a little bit, but I
Speaker 1: always stumble in these scenarios, Like I don't mind it.
Speaker 1: It's never really come back to bite me. It's never
Speaker 1: made me feel like I'm a failure. I don't like,
Speaker 1: I don't walk away from it being like I sucked
Speaker 1: it up, like I'm never gonna work again, which I
Speaker 1: think I used to be like. But I think every
Speaker 1: time I presented an award, which has been maybe twice,
Speaker 1: I have stumbled over the lines. And I'm good at
Speaker 1: reading teleprompter, but it just I don't know, I didn't
Speaker 1: get a chance to practice it enough or whatever. It
Speaker 1: was fine, but then um, and then that was over
Speaker 1: and I was like, good to go. And then Esther
Speaker 1: and I watched the rest of the show and then
Speaker 1: we went to the after party where we hung out
Speaker 1: with Um. No, David wasn't there. It was pre taped.
Speaker 1: So if you see the video of me on Betches
Speaker 1: that I posted on my Instagram and it's David presenting
Speaker 1: to Adam Sandler, it cuts to me and you could
Speaker 1: hear me whispering to or telling Esther full volume. This
Speaker 1: was pre taped, and so you like, right, we saw
Speaker 1: my face up on the screen and I go, oh no,
Speaker 1: like thank god, no one could. You can't really read
Speaker 1: my lips. But if you watch it again, you will
Speaker 1: totally know what I'm saying. This was pre taped because
Speaker 1: I saw it. Um, David was either nominated or something,
Speaker 1: and I was like, are you gonna be there? And
Speaker 1: he was like no, And so I think Sandler wasn't available,
Speaker 1: so they had to. But it was so funny because
Speaker 1: the in the place where the wards were it was
Speaker 1: like it was in an airplane hangar, so it wasn't
Speaker 1: like a typical like seating. Then we're all facing one direction.
Speaker 1: There were rewards being presented all around us. So when
Speaker 1: David came up on screen, people were like looking for
Speaker 1: like what stages he on, Like it took about thirty
Speaker 1: seconds to realize, like, oh, he's not here. Um. The
Speaker 1: funniest thing though, was that the one of the biggest
Speaker 1: applause moments in the whole show was when someone casually
Speaker 1: mentioned Taylor Swift. They were like artists like Ed Sheer
Speaker 1: and Taylor Swift, like and then Taylor Swift and people
Speaker 1: fucking lost their minds, like she was there, and like
Speaker 1: this is the power of this woman? Is that just
Speaker 1: the mention of her name. She wasn't there, There was
Speaker 1: no way she would be there. It was like someone
Speaker 1: listing a bunch of artists, and but people still like
Speaker 1: freaked out, and it just made me, Uh, it made
Speaker 1: me happy. But also like, oh, I can tell how
Speaker 1: annoyed everyone is with Taylor Swift fans, Like people are
Speaker 1: just kind of like I've been seeing a lot of
Speaker 1: people just I guess I saw esther post something last
Speaker 1: night on on TikTok, and she was she was She
Speaker 1: had posted something on TikTok about evidence that she's or
Speaker 1: things about her that make her a pick me girl,
Speaker 1: but that she's not actually a pick me girl. Do
Speaker 1: you know what to pick me girl is? Pick me girl?
Speaker 1: It's it sounds like I'm saying pig me. A pick
Speaker 1: me girl is like a girl that's like me, me, me,
Speaker 1: me me, like look at me, like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I hate the word moist. Oh my god, I'm always
Speaker 1: cold or like just trying to get attention, like a
Speaker 1: girl that's just desperate and like trying to be quirky
Speaker 1: and doesn't really have that much going for her otherwise,
Speaker 1: so she has to come up with the little things
Speaker 1: that make her interesting. So Esther was like doing this
Speaker 1: really funny list on TikTok, I really recommend following her.
Speaker 1: And I'm not even into TikTok, but I'm about to be.
Speaker 1: I'll get to that a second. And um, but Esther.
Speaker 1: One of Ester's was like, I have small feet. I
Speaker 1: know that seems like a pick me girl thing because
Speaker 1: anytime it comes up people, it seems like I'm trying
Speaker 1: to get attention because they're very small. I'm a women's
Speaker 1: size five. Like it's just the way it is, and um,
Speaker 1: she's like and then her other one was like, I
Speaker 1: don't really like Taylor Swift and that's almost like a
Speaker 1: pick me girl thing of being like, I'm different than
Speaker 1: other girls. I don't like Taylor Swift. And she was like,
Speaker 1: I know, it sounds like a pick me girl thing.
Speaker 1: I just don't have that much enthusiasm for her. But
Speaker 1: it was really cute because I was like, I had
Speaker 1: just been with her, and she was like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I'm not one of these girls that when someone mentioned
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift, I like get really excited and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. She she filmed this, like, you know,
Speaker 1: weeks ago. But then she was with me all night.
Speaker 1: Anytime Taylor was mentioned, I was like, oh my god, wait,
Speaker 1: so wait, what's your favorite song? Like what, so what
Speaker 1: are you thinking about? Like what's the next album? Like
Speaker 1: I was being that all night long, and um, it
Speaker 1: is obnoxious and I, um, I admit to it. So
Speaker 1: the after party was cool though, because it was chill,
Speaker 1: it was there weren't a lot of big celebs there.
Speaker 1: It was just like low key, it wasn't super loud
Speaker 1: and um, so we just ended up esther and I
Speaker 1: talked for a little bit, like alone, and we just
Speaker 1: got to like hang. It was so fun. I love
Speaker 1: a good girl. Hang. All I want to do is
Speaker 1: it in a corner with my girlfriends and talk about
Speaker 1: life and like real things and like sex and feelings
Speaker 1: and not even sex, Like we just talked about feelings
Speaker 1: and our issues and I don't know, it's just awesome.
Speaker 1: I just I feel so bad for men. They never
Speaker 1: have those conversations, but I think they're they're they're almost
Speaker 1: like the way Esther feels about Taylor Swift, like good.
Speaker 1: I don't want to have those. But uh, Nick Vile
Speaker 1: was there from The Bachelor. He's an old friend of mine,
Speaker 1: so it was so good to see him and his
Speaker 1: girlfriend and um he it was yeah. I love running
Speaker 1: into him and it had been a while. And then
Speaker 1: he was He Wells from The Bachelor in Paradise was
Speaker 1: also there with his wife, Sarah Highland from Modern Family,
Speaker 1: and she was so cool because when they came and
Speaker 1: joined us, and then there was this other girl with
Speaker 1: them who was just so I mean, I can't I
Speaker 1: don't even understand where these people come from. Apparently this
Speaker 1: woman latched onto Wells and Sarah at the show and
Speaker 1: then they were kind of shuttle bus is going to
Speaker 1: the party, and she demanded to get in their ride,
Speaker 1: not even their bust their car, like their car service,
Speaker 1: and she's like, I'm just gonna go with you guys.
Speaker 1: Is that cool? Like and didn't really give them an option.
Speaker 1: She's some drunk girl that's like claiming to be like
Speaker 1: a high powered lawyer and just talks the entire way.
Speaker 1: She comes over to our table and she's like, I
Speaker 1: know who you are. She sidles up next to me.
Speaker 1: Then she's like, oh my god, I know who you are.
Speaker 1: Your esther, she's she's she knows who everyone is. Then
Speaker 1: she says to Nick, she's like my friend in front
Speaker 1: of Nick's girlfriend. It's just like, no one wants to
Speaker 1: hear this. My friend actually dated you and said you
Speaker 1: were so dumb. But the truth is she's dumb, Like
Speaker 1: you're one of the smartest people ever. I watch you
Speaker 1: and she was like, he's so boring, And I was like,
Speaker 1: none of this needs to be said. Why Why do
Speaker 1: people do this where they go, where they they How
Speaker 1: do people not know that sharing something that someone else
Speaker 1: said about this person is not going to win you
Speaker 1: points with this person. People do it to me all
Speaker 1: the time. My fucking wife hates you, but I think
Speaker 1: you're so funny or like. That doesn't feel good. It
Speaker 1: don't make me think you're cooler. It doesn't give you
Speaker 1: any points to tell me how much someone else doesn't
Speaker 1: like me. It happens all the time, though, And I
Speaker 1: wanted to fucking punch this woman when she was like,
Speaker 1: but seriously, you're one of the smartest men ever. And
Speaker 1: my friend is like, and I go, first of all,
Speaker 1: you're a bad friend when you're talking about your friend
Speaker 1: and how dumb she is. And secondly, she's one of
Speaker 1: these girls too, who like needs to tell people they're
Speaker 1: so smart, like you're so intelligent, like I know, like
Speaker 1: because I'm smart. Oh she was the worst and um
Speaker 1: and then yeah, oh wait, hold on, So you were
Speaker 1: just talking about how you had this wonderful time sitting
Speaker 1: in the corner with esther, and then a couple of
Speaker 1: other people joined and you're still having a great time,
Speaker 1: and then it all it takes that one toxic person
Speaker 1: to come and then you guys have to kind of
Speaker 1: like disperse to get rid of her. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: a fly, like it takes a couple of swats like
Speaker 1: not mean, but like it's going to take a little bit.
Speaker 1: I know enough now that these people aren't gonna stay
Speaker 1: forever because I'm not a push over anymore and I
Speaker 1: really won't tolerate that anymore. And I don't think anyone
Speaker 1: else at the table was really going to tolerate it
Speaker 1: past a moment, like a certain like minute, I think
Speaker 1: we all would have like gotten her out of there.
Speaker 1: But it was like I just felt bad for this woman,
Speaker 1: like how does she exist in life where she thinks
Speaker 1: everything's about her? And then she hands Nick her phone
Speaker 1: and was like, you need to take a picture of
Speaker 1: me and Nikki, And I go, okay, professor because she
Speaker 1: kept taking so smart, I was like, Professor, take a
Speaker 1: picture of us, since she's already insulted him, but also,
Speaker 1: you know, blanketed it with like I know you're so smart.
Speaker 1: My friend is an idiot, but she thought you were
Speaker 1: really dull. It's just like you are the fucking worst.
Speaker 1: And then she was like I wouldn't say her friend's
Speaker 1: name so he couldn't be like who was this? She
Speaker 1: was just sucked. But then out of nowhere, this woman
Speaker 1: sitting next to me, Sarah Highland who has just sat
Speaker 1: down across the table, who I had said high to
Speaker 1: on the red carpet. But we don't know each other,
Speaker 1: and I don't know if she knows me. I definitely
Speaker 1: know who she is. She's the oldest daughter in modern family.
Speaker 1: I've been following her for some time. I think she's
Speaker 1: like so funny and cute and um. And I knew
Speaker 1: she was married to Wells, and Wells I knew from
Speaker 1: before he was on the Bachelor. I remember going to
Speaker 1: a radio station in Nashville to just promote my Zany shows,
Speaker 1: probably ten years ago, eleven years ago, and he was
Speaker 1: this hot DJ that had like a bulldog, and I
Speaker 1: remember being like, oh my god, Wow. Usually they're not
Speaker 1: like this attractive. So I noted him, and then when
Speaker 1: he showed up on the batch, I was like, I
Speaker 1: know that guy. So anyway, Mary, Sarah and I since
Speaker 1: I had to Sarah on the red carpet. Um. But
Speaker 1: then at the after party, she she's just sitting across
Speaker 1: the table. We had just kind of said hello, but
Speaker 1: this woman is sitting next to me, still talking, and
Speaker 1: she just comes over. She was Nikki, I have to
Speaker 1: tell you something. Oh my god, you're gonna freak out,
Speaker 1: and she was like, hold on, I have to tell
Speaker 1: Nikki something. So she sits down next to me and
Speaker 1: like leans over me, and it's like a girl, it
Speaker 1: is so good to see you. I have been dying
Speaker 1: to tell you, like seriously, you're gonna die. Like she's
Speaker 1: such obviously such a good actress, but this girl did
Speaker 1: not feel like it was it was. It wasn't obvious.
Speaker 1: It was so real. And also I was like, are
Speaker 1: we best friends? Like she was think it's so hard
Speaker 1: and like kind of laying all over me. I was like,
Speaker 1: this is my night of like trying out being gay,
Speaker 1: like just girls are like holding hands and this girl
Speaker 1: like flapping over me and like just like I don't
Speaker 1: have girlfriends that are super touchy feeling like a girl
Speaker 1: like and she was like playing that way, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, we're best friends. But she
Speaker 1: saved me. It was awesome and I was like, you
Speaker 1: are incredible. Me and Esther were both like that was
Speaker 1: the smoothest move. So then the girl kind of left
Speaker 1: and then um and then we would just started talking
Speaker 1: to Sarah and man, she had such great stories. I
Speaker 1: can't get into them because but man, I was like
Speaker 1: I just got to ask questions that I've always wanted
Speaker 1: to ask of like someone who's been in the business
Speaker 1: for a while, of like who she's been around, people
Speaker 1: who have since been canceled, who I know she has
Speaker 1: probably been on their shows or worked with and she
Speaker 1: was just telling amazing stories. It was like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: it was just so I want that girl to write
Speaker 1: a book someday. She's really smart, really funny, and I
Speaker 1: was just very impressed and made a new friend. And
Speaker 1: you're just kind of sitting there going like is this real?
Speaker 1: Like is this person really someone that would like be
Speaker 1: my Like, how am I going to see this person?
Speaker 1: I don't know I should, but it felt it felt real.
Speaker 1: And this is what I kind of like about these
Speaker 1: nights is that I was telling us here like it
Speaker 1: just makes you realize how small all of this is
Speaker 1: and how it's kind of like a high school play,
Speaker 1: Like we're all just putting on a production and being
Speaker 1: like everything's perfect here presenting the next award, Like we're
Speaker 1: using this voice and we're on the red carpet like Hi,
Speaker 1: I've went to fake hair. It's like it's all we're playing.
Speaker 1: We're playing pretend we're playing movie stars. Like nothing. It's
Speaker 1: just as fake as if you were trying to pretend
Speaker 1: to be that. You know what I'm saying, Like there's
Speaker 1: and everyone's just wants to be loved and seen and
Speaker 1: feel beautiful. And it's not much different than my twenty
Speaker 1: year reunion. It felt kind of the same, and her
Speaker 1: cheet to be honest, and really it was like it
Speaker 1: just there are certain people though, that have this aura
Speaker 1: you're like, oh my god, like Shania Twain, like I
Speaker 1: just didn't even want to be I just didn't want
Speaker 1: to get in her way. Heidi Klum same way, where
Speaker 1: you're just like I don't want them to have to
Speaker 1: waste any energy on me because they're just so busy
Speaker 1: and so precious. Um. But it was a really fun
Speaker 1: night and I'm glad that I did. I couldn't sleep
Speaker 1: last night. I got home and uh, I was on
Speaker 1: the way home and I have not been able to
Speaker 1: like really sing Midnight's in a car alone. Um, And
Speaker 1: I have. I've had in St. Louis, like a couple
Speaker 1: of days where I've been able to put my air
Speaker 1: pods in, But singing with your air pods in, you
Speaker 1: don't get to hear your voice with the music. And
Speaker 1: my mom's car that I drive does not have a
Speaker 1: way for me to play the music on this system.
Speaker 1: So last night she, this woman was my driver, and
Speaker 1: I was just like, can I put on my music
Speaker 1: and do you mind if I sing? And I just
Speaker 1: sang the funk out of songs. It felt so good.
Speaker 1: And I got home and I was like, God, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't played guitar so badly. It sucks. Why didn't I
Speaker 1: bring my guitar? Always bring your guitar and always. I
Speaker 1: walked to the lobby to pick up my food that
Speaker 1: I had ordered and there's a guitar sitting there and
Speaker 1: I go, can I bring this to my room? And
Speaker 1: they go, no, but we have ones you can rent.
Speaker 1: So I got to rent a tiny baby Taylor guitar
Speaker 1: and take it up to my room and make sweet
Speaker 1: sweet love to it. No, definitely, whatever I had to
Speaker 1: do it Um. It didn't like. UM, it became a
Speaker 1: worst guitar from what I did do it, but um,
Speaker 1: and then returned it this morning. I was like, that's
Speaker 1: just a cool thing to have. UM. Because I was like,
Speaker 1: what am I gonna do? And I just I couldn't
Speaker 1: sleep last night, partly adrenaline, part partly just my times
Speaker 1: being so fucked up. Um, and I don't know what
Speaker 1: to do. I have an audition, that's do. It was
Speaker 1: due Monday and it's Wednesday, and I was supposed to
Speaker 1: do Um. I was supposed to have it in Monday,
Speaker 1: and I told him I would. And it's for a
Speaker 1: role in a movie where I would play the wife
Speaker 1: and the guy cast as the husband. Role is like
Speaker 1: one of my favorite like actors where it'd be like, oh,
Speaker 1: this would be a dream to like get to work
Speaker 1: with this person and like just look at them up
Speaker 1: close and maybe even like fake kissed them. Did you
Speaker 1: hear Margot Robbie like asked to kiss Brad Pitt? And yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't care. And everyone's like, what if the roles
Speaker 1: were reversed? Can you imagine? Well, you know what, fuck
Speaker 1: you shut up? Listen the reason why you can't do
Speaker 1: this all the time where you go like there were
Speaker 1: the roles were reversed if Brad Pitt editor Stune, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it would be more predatory. You know why, because Brad
Speaker 1: Pitt is a man who can hold women down and
Speaker 1: make them feel uncomfortable and she's a light little woman.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I definitely know that women can make men
Speaker 1: feel sexually uncomfortable. I've seen it happen before. I am
Speaker 1: disgusted by it. I am very outspoken about it. But
Speaker 1: I don't think Margot Robbie being like I think those
Speaker 1: news are kissing. I don't think that really inconvenience Brad
Speaker 1: Pitt single Brad Pitt too much. But everyone's like playing
Speaker 1: like ohlipped around. The reason why you can't do that
Speaker 1: with everything is because men can hold you down and
Speaker 1: rape you. Women can't. Women aren't strong enough to incapacitate
Speaker 1: a man. And that's why you don't get to flip
Speaker 1: all these scenarios and be like, well if a man
Speaker 1: did that, if a man did that, or if a
Speaker 1: woman did that to a man, he'd push her off.
Speaker 1: If a man did that to a woman, we can't
Speaker 1: push you off. That's what it comes down to. And
Speaker 1: I know that Noah does jiu jitsu. Is she could
Speaker 1: do a body slam roll and flip you off and
Speaker 1: no matter how big you are, but most women are
Speaker 1: not like that. So that is the difference. Come at me. Um, So, yeah,
Speaker 1: I gotta get this audition in. But I just I
Speaker 1: don't know. Auditioning is so awkward. I don't know how
Speaker 1: to do it right. Giving me tips last night? Can
Speaker 1: can you talk about how you got the Backstreet Boys thing?
Speaker 1: Because you have to audition for that, you talk about acting? No,
Speaker 1: I don't get I don't know audition for anything because
Speaker 1: it never goes well for me. I've auditioned every I've
Speaker 1: never booked anything I've auditioned for ever. I repeat, I
Speaker 1: have never booked anything I've auditioned for. How many auditions
Speaker 1: have I been on my life? Hundreds of guys, hundreds
Speaker 1: rejection after rejection. No, just you don't even hear back,
Speaker 1: no callbacks. I'm not I don't even get callbacks. And
Speaker 1: that's like, I'm just bad at auditioning. I get nervous.
Speaker 1: I'm not my best self, so I wait for people
Speaker 1: to put me in things I had to get famous
Speaker 1: other ways where people go, oh, you would be great
Speaker 1: in this role, and once I get it, I'll fucking
Speaker 1: kill it. But I'm not going to be good at
Speaker 1: auditioning for it. I auditioned for train Wreck for the
Speaker 1: role that was written for me called Nikki, and I
Speaker 1: didn't even get that. And Vanessa big Bear got it
Speaker 1: and she definitely deserved it over me. But this is
Speaker 1: the kind of thing I'm talking about, so UM, I
Speaker 1: don't normally audition anymore. This is the one I'm talking
Speaker 1: about today. I'm only doing it because the actor in it.
Speaker 1: I'm just like this, you can't not throw your hat
Speaker 1: in the fucking ring. So um. Backstreet Boys, though, I'm
Speaker 1: in their Christmas special coming up. I don't know what
Speaker 1: the date is, four Bay, thank you December baby. UM,
Speaker 1: it'll be on ABC. It's a Backstreet Boys special Christmas
Speaker 1: special and it's funny and UM, I got how did
Speaker 1: that come about? I got a text from a comic
Speaker 1: who was writing on it. This is how this happens.
Speaker 1: People go, we need this role field and if you're
Speaker 1: just nice to people, you don't know who is going
Speaker 1: to end up in places where they can give you
Speaker 1: a fucking job like I just wrote about. Um, I
Speaker 1: just didn't interview for my UM carpool Karaoke with Wilco.
Speaker 1: I guess that's coming out at some point. I taped
Speaker 1: it back in March, but it's coming out. And they
Speaker 1: asked me, like, how did that happen? I go because
Speaker 1: I knew a producer Conan, who had great experiences with
Speaker 1: working with her. She liked me. We text, We text
Speaker 1: back and forth because we're just friendly. I'm not like
Speaker 1: sucking her dicks. So she likes me like I'm just
Speaker 1: a nice person. And then it comes back to you
Speaker 1: because they go, oh, I'd like to work with this
Speaker 1: girl again. So that's you gotta be nice to people.
Speaker 1: It's come back to help me so much in life.
Speaker 1: And this girl, Aaron Uh, Aaron Dewey Lennox, she hit
Speaker 1: me up, just texted me being like, hey, they're gonna
Speaker 1: send this offer for you. It's for a Backttery Boys
Speaker 1: Christmas special. And I'm like, say no more, I will
Speaker 1: pay to be in this, Like I I will. What
Speaker 1: what do I need to do? Um? How new do
Speaker 1: I need to get? And she was like it's an
Speaker 1: easy You're like a sycophanic fan, like you play a fan.
Speaker 1: And then I got to do it with Ron Funches,
Speaker 1: so me and Ron Funches are like uber fans of
Speaker 1: Backstreet Boys. I got to set this was. I filmed
Speaker 1: this to last week Wednesday. Last Wednesday. It was crazy
Speaker 1: because I'm like, usually you film Christmas things in like August,
Speaker 1: and you have to be like happy Holidays, and you're
Speaker 1: like it's a hundred and four degrees. But this time
Speaker 1: it was like, whoa, this is like actually Christmas. And
Speaker 1: you walk on set and it's just like this beautiful
Speaker 1: Christmas set. And I got there and I'm excited because
Speaker 1: I don't know your relationship with the back Street Boys.
Speaker 1: You probably were like not into that, so not into them? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was, like I was aware. I was. I went
Speaker 1: to a back Street Boys concert at the Keel Center
Speaker 1: with Kursen, I think at one point because my dad
Speaker 1: got free tickets. I like Backstreets back all right. I like, um,
Speaker 1: show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely? I love that song.
Speaker 1: I like a lot of their songs. But and I
Speaker 1: always thought, out of all of them, who do you
Speaker 1: think is the hottest? Um? I played the fifth? You
Speaker 1: don't know, okay. I always was into Kevin. It was
Speaker 1: the first, but I was too young. It was like
Speaker 1: eighth grade, and I was like, these are men, like
Speaker 1: they even they didn't feel like boys back then. They
Speaker 1: were in their twenties and I'm, you know, fourteen. It
Speaker 1: just didn't feel like right to pine after these guys.
Speaker 1: I wasn't in that place in my life. Even in sync,
Speaker 1: I was just like no um, but Kevin was the
Speaker 1: is the oldest. He's a decade older than the youngest
Speaker 1: person in the group. But there was something about him,
Speaker 1: and I couldn't tell anyone that I felt feelings for
Speaker 1: Kevin because he was just like he was just a man,
Speaker 1: and it felt like naughty that I was like a
Speaker 1: acted this like man in the group. He was tall,
Speaker 1: dark and handsome, and so he was my favor and
Speaker 1: he I got there. I go into hair and makeup
Speaker 1: and I can like hear the Baxter boys are walking
Speaker 1: through my makeup the makeup room to get to their
Speaker 1: like holding area, and I swear to god, a J
Speaker 1: is so nice and so funny. A J from the
Speaker 1: Backter Boys. He Um walked in and I swear to god,
Speaker 1: he uh put on his phone before he entered the room.
Speaker 1: He queued up Backstreets Back all right, and then he
Speaker 1: walked in. He was like it and he like walked up.
Speaker 1: He was like hey, he was like they were so
Speaker 1: freaking nice, so grateful for me to be there, thanking
Speaker 1: me profusely, telling me like how big of fans they are,
Speaker 1: and like really proving it too. And then Kevin walks
Speaker 1: in statue as Kevin. He looked like an oracle. He
Speaker 1: had this. He's so tall, he has this long black
Speaker 1: hair that's shiny. His face is exactly like it. He's
Speaker 1: so tall. He looks like a wise man, like one
Speaker 1: of the Christian wise men, and he had uh, he
Speaker 1: just looks he looks like Keanu Reeves. I'm like, this
Speaker 1: guy cannot go anywhere without being stopped. He looks so famous.
Speaker 1: He looked like some kind of like I don't know,
Speaker 1: maybe that he like was the leader of some kind
Speaker 1: of cult too. I didn't know. I was ready to join.
Speaker 1: He came up and he was so nice. He put
Speaker 1: his arm around me. He was like, I just want
Speaker 1: to let you know we were on this pastor. We
Speaker 1: watched f Boy Island. I am obsessed with it. I'm
Speaker 1: obsessed and it was so nice. And then we did
Speaker 1: the scenes and God, these guys were just like so
Speaker 1: kind and appreciative. That goes such a long way when
Speaker 1: people are just like, thank you for doing this, thank
Speaker 1: you for taking me. I'm like, you're a backstreet boy.
Speaker 1: I would do anything to me. I would be like
Speaker 1: a lighting guy on set, Like you guys are the
Speaker 1: back Street Boys. There's that is a level of fame
Speaker 1: that you don't see anymore. That's so only like so
Speaker 1: few people get to touch and Ron and I were
Speaker 1: just kind of marveling at it, like looking at them
Speaker 1: like this is it's rare to be in the company
Speaker 1: of people who went through that. Like I don't think
Speaker 1: even last night I was mean beat Lizzo out of
Speaker 1: all those people have know anything about like how being
Speaker 1: that famous? It's just a different level. And um, my
Speaker 1: biggest fear all day though, was accidentally calling Nick Carter Aaron.
Speaker 1: That was my biggest fear because his brother just died.
Speaker 1: I don't want to say his brother's name, but he
Speaker 1: was on my mind of like don't say Aaron. And
Speaker 1: then I'm like, wait a second, what if I say it?
Speaker 1: Because I'm trying not to. So I was so scared.
Speaker 1: I had to do a couple of lines with him.
Speaker 1: But he was so nice and so sweet and they
Speaker 1: were all just like funny and cool. It was a
Speaker 1: great day and I'm excited to see it. Um, and yeah,
Speaker 1: that was That's been my last couple weeks. It's been
Speaker 1: it's been NonStop and I'm really tired. But I'm so
Speaker 1: glad that I get to do this stuff. I'm it's
Speaker 1: not lost on me. It's still fun. F Boy Island
Speaker 1: did get hanceled. It was announced that we got canceled
Speaker 1: a couple of days ago. I got all these calls
Speaker 1: from the um, one of the co producers of the
Speaker 1: show Bill, and he was like, I don't know if
Speaker 1: you've seen Variety, and I don't. I haven't. He's like,
Speaker 1: I'm sure your phone's blowing up. I'm like, by you
Speaker 1: And he's like, I don't believe anything you're reading. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, i'm not, haven't read anything. Tell me what
Speaker 1: you're talking about. And he's like, it's said that Variety
Speaker 1: says f By Islands canceled. And then the next day
Speaker 1: in my Google alerts, it's like I have a Google
Speaker 1: alert from my name and it's like cancer. Like people
Speaker 1: are so exciting. Either people are excited it's canceled because
Speaker 1: they're like, yeah, it's sucking doom shows going away, or
Speaker 1: people are devastated. It's mostly devastated because it's a hit show.
Speaker 1: Why is it canceled? There was no indication of this happening,
Speaker 1: but I just want to say, is not done you
Speaker 1: guys know how this stuff works. At this point, when
Speaker 1: network gives up on a show, it jumps to something else,
Speaker 1: so it will find a home. F boy will never die,
Speaker 1: I hope ever. Um, But the truth is, like things
Speaker 1: have changed. I think Discovery Network bought HBO Max and
Speaker 1: it's just budget things, you know, Like it's just it's
Speaker 1: a very expensive show to make, not because of me necessarily,
Speaker 1: but it's just that's why it looks so fucking good.
Speaker 1: It's expensive to make, and I think the producers don't
Speaker 1: want to like skimp on on production, and so it's
Speaker 1: going to find another home. Just you wait, I cannot wait.
Speaker 1: And um, but that was kind of sad to just
Speaker 1: be like, oh, it's canceled, um and just see that word,
Speaker 1: because guess what. Discovery also didn't pick up a ton
Speaker 1: of other shows on the HBO Max slate, but they
Speaker 1: weren't announced as canceled. We just weren't picked up. It
Speaker 1: doesn't mean canceled. And this has happened to me for
Speaker 1: every show I've ever done in my entire life. Anything
Speaker 1: you do will go away at some point, it will
Speaker 1: find another network, but everything will be canceled. And it's
Speaker 1: kind of nice because I've had so many shows can
Speaker 1: unsold that. I don't care it don't I don't take
Speaker 1: it personally. I do take many things personally. And there
Speaker 1: are some things in life that hold me up so much,
Speaker 1: like a bad comment, someone just being like she thinks
Speaker 1: she's cool, or someone not understanding my motives of something,
Speaker 1: or I don't know, someone saying I look old. There's
Speaker 1: little things that can set me off. But you know,
Speaker 1: flooding a line at the People's Choice Awards or um
Speaker 1: or having a show canceled. I can get through it.
Speaker 1: I can get through that because I approve of myself.
Speaker 1: I approve of myself. I approve of myself. Until she
Speaker 1: says that, go listen to Louise Hey, We'll be right back. Alrighty,
Speaker 1: let's get to good old fashioned fan tracks. Hell, Yes,
Speaker 1: what do the people have for us? No? Uh, what
Speaker 1: are the best? He's up to? Okay, we got a
Speaker 1: lot of really great messages. I think I'll start off
Speaker 1: with Annie Hey, Nikki, Noah, and hopefully Joel's because honestly,
Speaker 1: Jewels is my favorite gasco host on the pod Um.
Speaker 1: I'm literally just calling because I'm right right now, I'm
Speaker 1: watching the mass Singer and de Honest, I already knew
Speaker 1: Snowstorm with NICKI, Um, I'm only twenty four minutes into
Speaker 1: this episode, so like anything could happen in this However,
Speaker 1: I'm convinced this is Nicky Snowstorm the house, uh, welcome
Speaker 1: home Nicky Glazer and the unsafe box not safe, It's
Speaker 1: all there. I mean, we all know it, all of us,
Speaker 1: all of us besties know this is. It's so awesome.
Speaker 1: I don't know how you pulled this off. I'm so
Speaker 1: excited for you, Like they're comparing you to uh Sabrina
Speaker 1: Carpenter and Olivia Roun. You go, you're freaking probably gonna
Speaker 1: win this episode, which means you're probably gonna met I'm
Speaker 1: assuming that Middler because I'm pretty sure that Pumpkin had
Speaker 1: is that Middler. Like this is so awesome and I'm
Speaker 1: just so excited and good job, Nikki. I literally saw
Speaker 1: this clue say and I was like, fuck, yeah, okay, anyways,
Speaker 1: have a good day and happy mass Singer and Jack
Speaker 1: the Jackalope, Oh my god, I'm sorry. Oh you're so great.
Speaker 1: I love it that there She's like, should I for
Speaker 1: record it? Do a better one? No, Jack, lobes are awesome,
Speaker 1: though they're like bunnies with like horns. Um, thank you
Speaker 1: so much. I felt like a message I got from
Speaker 1: like a friend who was like, we haven't talked since college,
Speaker 1: but I'm watching a singer. I'm freaking out. It's too
Speaker 1: like that just felt like sometimes I would say, most
Speaker 1: of the time I meet besties, I'm like, you just
Speaker 1: have the same cadence and compassion that I sense from
Speaker 1: like my best friends. So it's so nice to hear that.
Speaker 1: And uh, yeah, I don't know how I pulled it
Speaker 1: off either. It's hard to keep a secret. Um, And
Speaker 1: how did I pull off that mask? Well, with a
Speaker 1: lot of help from people who like were very gentle
Speaker 1: because it was so fucking heavy and I didn't get
Speaker 1: to keep it and um, and I am on a
Speaker 1: Christmas special tonight, which by the time this podcast comes out,
Speaker 1: I'm sure it's already aired, but you can go watch
Speaker 1: me sing. Um. There's a mass singer Christmas special Wednesday
Speaker 1: night on Fox, which is tonight, And I'm singing Ariana
Speaker 1: Grande's Santa Wait, Santa, tell me that song? Do you
Speaker 1: know that song? Noah, No, it sounds beautiful, so good
Speaker 1: at first, when they gave it to me, I was like,
Speaker 1: oh God, can I just do like Deck the Halls?
Speaker 1: Like can I just do a song that's like Frosty
Speaker 1: the Snow and like just basic easy. I have to
Speaker 1: learn because I didn't know the song at all, and
Speaker 1: you have to learn a new song, and it's it's
Speaker 1: kind of it took a minute, and I you know,
Speaker 1: it took like a day for me listening over and
Speaker 1: over and now it's my favorite Christmas song. If you
Speaker 1: don't add Santa, tell me it should be an instant classic.
Speaker 1: It is as good as Mariah carries Um. You know
Speaker 1: that one that she sings a lot. Uh that that
Speaker 1: that one movie made famous? It's Santa. Tell me watch
Speaker 1: me on the mass sing or sing it, but then
Speaker 1: actually go back and listen to the real version. But
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed. I'm learning it on a guitar. I love
Speaker 1: it so much. Thank you for guessing it was me.
Speaker 1: It was so nice. Are you back in your snowstorm
Speaker 1: costume or you bring something else? Yes? So I filmed,
Speaker 1: let me be honest, I filmed it and July so
Speaker 1: this was filmed like before I got kicked off the show.
Speaker 1: But we just did it as an added episode, and
Speaker 1: I got a little choreography going in this one too,
Speaker 1: so I danced a little, a very very little bit
Speaker 1: um which made it so much more fun because most
Speaker 1: of the time I'm asking or I didn't know what
Speaker 1: to do with my body. I wasn't really given much
Speaker 1: notes about what to do. And then all of a
Speaker 1: sudden we did this Christmas one and this woman comes
Speaker 1: out and started choregraphing me, and I go, where have
Speaker 1: you been? Can I get you for the other stuff?
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do with my hand, I
Speaker 1: don't know anything. I don't know how to move in this.
Speaker 1: It would have been so nice because it felt so
Speaker 1: good to have something to do while I sang. And
Speaker 1: you can't really do much in that costume, so you're limited.
Speaker 1: So it was very simple steps. But I'm excited to
Speaker 1: see it tonight because, um, it was my favorite song
Speaker 1: to sing of all the ones I sang. And yeah,
Speaker 1: it's such a good song. Added to your playlist for
Speaker 1: Christmas time, don't fight it. Just let a new Christmas
Speaker 1: song in your heart. All right? Next mant Rex, All right,
Speaker 1: here's one from Alexis with something that I think a
Speaker 1: lot of besties can relate to. I know that I can. Hi, Nicki, Andrew,
Speaker 1: and Noah. This is Alexis. I'm actually from Gavenport, Iowa,
Speaker 1: where just did a show. Unfortunately couldn't go because I'm
Speaker 1: actually living in Australia for my job for a year.
Speaker 1: I just do that. I have been talking to friends
Speaker 1: and family on the phone a lot more now that
Speaker 1: I live across the world, and I found myself that
Speaker 1: when I start to say my goodbyes on the phone,
Speaker 1: that I want to say, don't be cause Jack podcast
Speaker 1: every single day. So I just love to call that
Speaker 1: in and tell you that that's always in the back
Speaker 1: of my mind when I hang up the phone with
Speaker 1: my literally stop myself from Oh my god, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for all that you do. I love listening
Speaker 1: to you when the time zone is off and I
Speaker 1: can't talk to friends and family at home and I
Speaker 1: feel like I have friends here, So thank you so much,
Speaker 1: Jackaroo Jack Arru. Oh my god, is that a really animal? Um?
Speaker 1: That was so nice? And um No, that doesn't happen
Speaker 1: to me. I feel like it's very like I need
Speaker 1: to be in this room. It's very situational for me.
Speaker 1: I need to be in the setting. So does happen
Speaker 1: to you? Noah? Do you almost say it? Sometimes? Okay?
Speaker 1: What I found myself doing lately is I'll start talking
Speaker 1: like Julie, Oh yeah, in what way? Like where does
Speaker 1: it come up? I don't just like, oh my goodness,
Speaker 1: like if kidding me with that ship? Oh god, what
Speaker 1: I'll tell you it's fine, But I'm not doing it
Speaker 1: all right, Mac, I just a Julie app with just
Speaker 1: her juliasms. Yeah, we need to do that, with like
Speaker 1: all of her catchphrases. I truly, she is so fucking funny.
Speaker 1: I love her so much. She makes me laugh so hard.
Speaker 1: She wrote me this morning, and she wrote, I asked
Speaker 1: her to the pod today, but she couldn't. She's working,
Speaker 1: you know, she's stage in homes with her friend Debbie. Um,
Speaker 1: that's the next stray. I go, stop taking these jobs, mom,
Speaker 1: I don't want you working anymore. I will. I told
Speaker 1: my mom, I will pay you whatever Debbie is paying you.
Speaker 1: I will pay you to stay home and not do it.
Speaker 1: And she goes, you're ridiculous, I'm not taking that, and
Speaker 1: I go, it matters to me because you're not gonna
Speaker 1: try to hang up a heavy painting or move some
Speaker 1: bureau that you're too. You know, when people get older,
Speaker 1: it must be very hard to relinquish the things you
Speaker 1: used to just be able to move so easily as
Speaker 1: a younger person. I can understand how you would fight that.
Speaker 1: But my mom is getting injured on these jobs and
Speaker 1: I'm just like, why are you doing it? But my
Speaker 1: dad goes she likes it. I'm like, she's getting injured
Speaker 1: and you're gonna lose her faster than you would like.
Speaker 1: But she wrote me today she said, you looked amazing
Speaker 1: last night and you did such a great job. So
Speaker 1: proud of you. I mean, if I don't know what
Speaker 1: the funk I'm going to do when my parents die.
Speaker 1: I was telling Esther this last night. I only do
Speaker 1: things so they're proud of me. I literally don't. I
Speaker 1: all my biggest joy in life is telling them I
Speaker 1: got something and then doing it and hearing them go.
Speaker 1: Like like, even last night after I presented, I was
Speaker 1: just looking at my phone being like, I know they're watching.
Speaker 1: Did I do that bad? Why haven't they wrote me
Speaker 1: written me yet? Like what's going on? And I'm like,
Speaker 1: why do I need this? And Esther was like, do
Speaker 1: you think that's maybe like bad that you need that approval,
Speaker 1: and I go, no, I need It's not even about
Speaker 1: like I need to feel like a star and like
Speaker 1: I'm the best. I want people to be proud of
Speaker 1: me Like that is I think. My that's what I
Speaker 1: get off on, Like I want. I don't need you
Speaker 1: to go like you're so pretty, you're so funny, you're
Speaker 1: so like I just want people to go like wow,
Speaker 1: from what I know of you, like this is what
Speaker 1: it matters both to me too when besties say that.
Speaker 1: It when my best friends and my lover and like
Speaker 1: my family, because you guys and all these other people
Speaker 1: know the real me, which is a little bit insecure,
Speaker 1: a little bit quirky, a little bit like more normal
Speaker 1: than maybe your average celebrity I would think, not normal,
Speaker 1: but like a little bit flawed and a little bit
Speaker 1: maybe just just brought down to earth in a way.
Speaker 1: So when you see me all glitz and glamoder on
Speaker 1: mass singer, when you're like, I'm so proud of you, Bustie,
Speaker 1: that means so much more to me than like you
Speaker 1: like you're I don't know, and that the it's I
Speaker 1: just pinpointed it and it's like pride. What is that?
Speaker 1: And is it sad that I need that validation? I
Speaker 1: need pride. I need people to be like, I'm proud
Speaker 1: of you, even if it's like, wow, you went on
Speaker 1: a run like my mom's always just like you ran
Speaker 1: four miles, Oh my god, you're amazing, and like that
Speaker 1: does something for me? Why why can't it be enough?
Speaker 1: Would I still do these things in a vacuum? Probably not?
Speaker 1: Do you think most artists would still produce their art
Speaker 1: in a vacuum? I don't know. You probably didn't get
Speaker 1: to hear what she said last night, but she said
Speaker 1: she say she said something very similar to vacuum. Sorry.
Speaker 1: She She praised her fans for supporting her and kind
Speaker 1: of being that encouragement through sick and thin and and
Speaker 1: all that stuff. It's it's it sounded very similar to
Speaker 1: what you just said. Yeah, like just yeah, believing it,
Speaker 1: just being like but it's so it feels so selfish
Speaker 1: to want that and to need that of like I
Speaker 1: want like all my I've talked about this so much
Speaker 1: of like you know, I don't feel like my parents
Speaker 1: are I've complained about to my girlfriends so much that
Speaker 1: anytime I do something. They're like, Nicky, We're so proud
Speaker 1: of you, and I'm like, oh god, I've trained them
Speaker 1: so well, and they're like posting all the links so
Speaker 1: that they can watch everything, because I'm like, I feel
Speaker 1: like my parents don't even care to watch it. I'll
Speaker 1: like complain about someone not watching something and they're like
Speaker 1: so over the top about it. But I need that.
Speaker 1: I think I just need that, like some girls like
Speaker 1: need I don't know, to get their nails done or
Speaker 1: some ship like I just need people to be proud
Speaker 1: of me. And I don't think it necessarily depends on
Speaker 1: being famous. I will say that I need my loved
Speaker 1: ones and people who know the real meat I eat. Besties.
Speaker 1: You guys are the only ones I would say in
Speaker 1: my fan base who like know me on a personal level,
Speaker 1: like my family, Does you really do know me like
Speaker 1: my family does? I would? I would. I would venture
Speaker 1: to guess you probably know more about me than my
Speaker 1: family does at this point, if you've been listening to
Speaker 1: the show long enough. I need. I want those people
Speaker 1: to go like, WHOA, that's impressed. I want people to
Speaker 1: be impressed. This goes back to also what I want
Speaker 1: in bed. I want to be an impressive whore. I
Speaker 1: want to be such a whore that people go, I
Speaker 1: didn't even know you were capable of phorring this much.
Speaker 1: I just want people to go, wow, um. I don't
Speaker 1: know what that is, and I don't know if I
Speaker 1: need to lose it. But there's some things I don't
Speaker 1: want to lose. I think there's a lot of things
Speaker 1: that we discover about ourselves. Our character defects are things
Speaker 1: that like we need like validation, and it seems like
Speaker 1: self serving and it seems like it's keeping you from
Speaker 1: loving yourself, and you're supposed to be able to love
Speaker 1: yourself without getting things from the outside world. I don't
Speaker 1: need massive amounts of likes. I don't need massive amounts
Speaker 1: of fans. I don't care if I go to a
Speaker 1: theater and it's half sold. I don't give a ship.
Speaker 1: I'm just happy that half people came there. I think
Speaker 1: I'm not like, Wow, this down fucking sucks. They don't
Speaker 1: get what's up. I just go no, this half of
Speaker 1: people do get what's up. I'm only sad because like
Speaker 1: the people working there, like people aren't making money off me,
Speaker 1: and I want to like theater half kind of gal yes,
Speaker 1: thank you. Yes, I just feel embarrassed. I don't feel
Speaker 1: I don't feel embarrassed, just feel bad for people who
Speaker 1: are like God, we're supposed to make money tonight and
Speaker 1: we did it. That's where I feel bad. But I
Speaker 1: don't feel bad in my soul. If I'll take one
Speaker 1: fan who's proud of me. So UM, I really appreciate
Speaker 1: that message, is what I'm trying to say. Final thought.
Speaker 1: Uh So, Nikki, you want to give some advice? Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: he would love to a question from someone who's wants
Speaker 1: to be kept anonymous. Hi, no jerky, I'm calling you
Speaker 1: in to ask for some relationship advice. Um. Months ago,
Speaker 1: my husband gave me the password to his phone and
Speaker 1: said he has nothing to hide. UM, and I just
Speaker 1: was feeling kind of suspicious, like something was off the
Speaker 1: other day and I went through his phone while he
Speaker 1: was sleeping with the password that he gave me, and
Speaker 1: I found this app called Telegram, And on the app
Speaker 1: there were all these chats of like nudes and like
Speaker 1: videos of girls. And they were all like local girls,
Speaker 1: like from the towns around us and where we live,
Speaker 1: so they're like real life girls who's knuds are probably
Speaker 1: unknowingly being sent back and forth between all these chats,
Speaker 1: and it just was really fucking like disturbing to me.
Speaker 1: And I didn't see any evidence of him talking to
Speaker 1: any girls on his phone at all. I think it's
Speaker 1: just like creepy guys sending the ship back and forth. UM.
Speaker 1: I just don't know if I should like bring this
Speaker 1: up to him and have like have that difficult conversation
Speaker 1: of like, I went through your phone, you're sleeping and
Speaker 1: this is what I found, and like, can you explain
Speaker 1: this or or not? Like I get so scared and
Speaker 1: anxious about confrontation, and I don't know if I should
Speaker 1: just keep an eye on this or if it's worth
Speaker 1: bringing up right now. Um. Again, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for any advice that you have. Would love to hear
Speaker 1: your opinions on this, like Andrew from the guy's perspective,
Speaker 1: NICKI and Noah, Um, I love you all. And my
Speaker 1: husband said to jack Off, oh my god, Okay, so well,
Speaker 1: we don't have Andrew's perspective on this one. It would
Speaker 1: be good to have here, but we're going to try
Speaker 1: our best. Okay, Noah, I feel she definitely needs to
Speaker 1: confront of about it. What you need to do, though,
Speaker 1: what I would do is own your side of things
Speaker 1: of like, listen, I'm really sorry I fucked up, and
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this again, because what are
Speaker 1: your options? You either come say what you did, which
Speaker 1: was you went through his phone without asking while he
Speaker 1: was asleep or whatever, and he gets mad at you
Speaker 1: about that, or you keep doing that and that guilt
Speaker 1: that you have about doing that to collect information keeps
Speaker 1: building up. So you're gonna, at some point in this
Speaker 1: have to admit you did that, whether it's down the road, like,
Speaker 1: you're not going to get over this. You're not gonna
Speaker 1: get answers from this unless you get him from him.
Speaker 1: You know, there's nothing I don't think you're gonna get
Speaker 1: any more collecting more data that's going to make you go, oh, suddenly,
Speaker 1: I don't care about this, and we can just I
Speaker 1: can die without ever knowing. You're gonna eventually get to
Speaker 1: a point where you're like, what the fund is going on?
Speaker 1: Just do that sooner than later before you completely like
Speaker 1: I have done it so many times because you're just
Speaker 1: it's gonna make you feel bad, It's gonna make you
Speaker 1: feel like you have a lie going between you which
Speaker 1: you know he may have already started. Um, just go listen.
Speaker 1: I had a really weak moment. I felt things were
Speaker 1: off between us. I'm so scared of losing you because
Speaker 1: I love you so much. If that's true, you can
Speaker 1: present when you do things like this like go through
Speaker 1: someone's phone, a way to soften and I do, I
Speaker 1: do believe is to explain like this is all coming
Speaker 1: from a place of not wanting to lose you because
Speaker 1: I love you. I think that helps people because sometimes
Speaker 1: they feel so betray and you go it's a it's
Speaker 1: a it was a bad way to go about this,
Speaker 1: but I promise it was motivated because I just I'm
Speaker 1: so scared to lose you, and I know that's I
Speaker 1: should have done a different way in the future. I
Speaker 1: want to do it this way, but I shouldn't have
Speaker 1: done it because I found something and I don't even
Speaker 1: know how to approach you about the thing I found.
Speaker 1: So I'm just coming clean. You are allowed to be
Speaker 1: upset with me about this. It's a completely separate issue
Speaker 1: than the one I want to talk to you about
Speaker 1: what I found. But I just need you to know,
Speaker 1: like come clean about your thing, and just like without
Speaker 1: confronting him about it at first, and like, see what
Speaker 1: he does, work through that, and then go now, can
Speaker 1: we talk about what I saw and make it a
Speaker 1: separate issue. I think that might be my advice. But
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry you're going through this and you're feeling
Speaker 1: that way right now, because I hate. I hate in
Speaker 1: relationships when I've done something that I know I shouldn't
Speaker 1: have done and I have to carry it around, and
Speaker 1: especially when you also, on the other side, feel like
Speaker 1: he's done something that you don't really understand and I
Speaker 1: do not understand what that app could be. And it's
Speaker 1: nice to know that he has not written anything, but God,
Speaker 1: it just sucks to learn that your husband might be
Speaker 1: like looking at something that just kind of gives you
Speaker 1: the willies. What do you think? So? I love the
Speaker 1: advice you gave her. I think it's a very good
Speaker 1: way to start the conversation. Um. I guess when I
Speaker 1: first heard this, the local part didn't really stick out
Speaker 1: to me that much as much as it does this
Speaker 1: time around. But I honestly think it's just like a
Speaker 1: guy looking at porn or just wanting to have access
Speaker 1: to those kinds of images, very like easily I guess, like,
Speaker 1: I don't think it's anything against her or because she's
Speaker 1: not fulfilling something. I think it's just guys like to
Speaker 1: look at porn, and you know, it's separate from how
Speaker 1: he feels about you. So I hope that she goes
Speaker 1: into it not taking like a personal offense about it
Speaker 1: and just it's just like yeah that I guess. I
Speaker 1: didn't even touch on the porn part of it. Like
Speaker 1: I don't know though, like the local thing bothers me
Speaker 1: because it just feels like I get it because obviously
Speaker 1: there's something that is attractive to men about hearing about
Speaker 1: local horny women around you, like in your area, because
Speaker 1: it's all over point you watch porn, there's always like
Speaker 1: people fucking in your neighborhood waiting for you. And these
Speaker 1: guys are not actually meeting up with these women, but
Speaker 1: just the illusion that they're close makes them hornier. So
Speaker 1: I do believe that this is just a type of porn,
Speaker 1: like low local porn. So it doesn't mean he's like,
Speaker 1: oh I could funk these women, they lived on the street.
Speaker 1: It just makes it sexier to them, um to here local.
Speaker 1: But you gotta get some answers on this. I if
Speaker 1: it doesn't make you feel, right, I mean, like I'm
Speaker 1: someone who doesn't mind if my boyfriend watches Born. Um,
Speaker 1: I think I would mind this because it just feels
Speaker 1: like the next step of like you downloaded a weird
Speaker 1: app like or listen. If I found a weird app,
Speaker 1: I'd be like explained to me the hotness behind this
Speaker 1: and what turns you on about this? Yes, not that
Speaker 1: I need to start dressing like a local or something
Speaker 1: or like, because that's something he wants and he doesn't
Speaker 1: know how to bring up to her, Like I think
Speaker 1: you turn into something very positive and healthy for their relationship,
Speaker 1: maybe something she doesn't know that turns him on. Like
Speaker 1: you just said, I hope I do understand that thing
Speaker 1: of like being scared to bring up something that you
Speaker 1: think might embarrass him to you know, like you're showing
Speaker 1: him this thing that you found, and he you know
Speaker 1: that he's going to have to either make up a
Speaker 1: lie which is gonna be embarrassing to watch, or tell
Speaker 1: you the truth might which might really embarrass him and
Speaker 1: then might make emasculate him to you. Of like my
Speaker 1: husband's like admitting he like jerks off to these local
Speaker 1: women are like, um, but the fact that he gave
Speaker 1: you his password was really cool too. Yeah, that's why
Speaker 1: I don't think it's anything malicious. And I wonder if
Speaker 1: he needs to send you an invite to this app. Yeah,
Speaker 1: show on this app. You find this app and submit
Speaker 1: your headless photos and then have and have him like that.
Speaker 1: How crazy would that be to submit your own photos
Speaker 1: on the app that you know your husband's looking at
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden you come up on it.
Speaker 1: That would be amazing. That would be like the light
Speaker 1: Lotus scene with the condom rapper where she just leaves
Speaker 1: it out spoiler alert, like just throwing it the thing,
Speaker 1: you know, in his face. Oh, I love it. That's
Speaker 1: a good one. Um. I'm sorry though this sounds really
Speaker 1: that's shitty, and you know what, it's nice to know.
Speaker 1: I think it's they you for sharing that, because I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people did with the stuff in
Speaker 1: their marriages and they're ashamed of like we don't have
Speaker 1: complete communication and there might be some shadiness going on.
Speaker 1: Um that. Yeah, everyone just has shameful things that they
Speaker 1: even hide from their spouses. And it's the best case
Speaker 1: scenario that you're just like totally open with one another
Speaker 1: and share everything. But we're so we're so repressed around
Speaker 1: sex and our desires and and it's so hard to
Speaker 1: share the stuff with our partner. But I heard the
Speaker 1: sadness in your voice of like, I just don't know
Speaker 1: what to do, and I'm only sorry you're feeling that way.
Speaker 1: But I think this is very normal. I think it's
Speaker 1: very resolvable. Just own your side of the street, which
Speaker 1: is you funked up and went through his phone without
Speaker 1: you know asking, which makes sense why you did it.
Speaker 1: I guest why you did it, But just own it,
Speaker 1: because then you will have carte blanche to go after
Speaker 1: him for what he's done once you really like repent
Speaker 1: for what you did without getting accused story of him,
Speaker 1: like own your thing first, make sure that it is tidy, like,
Speaker 1: don't even accuse him of it. I would say I
Speaker 1: went through your phone, babe, but I just want to
Speaker 1: say I feel really rotten about it. I wish I
Speaker 1: wouldn't have done it. You were sleeping, and I just
Speaker 1: need to be honest with you. I don't want to
Speaker 1: do it again. I don't know what you know. Here's
Speaker 1: why I was compelled to do it, but did um
Speaker 1: and I hate. I hate that I did too, and
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. And then eventually he'll go and did
Speaker 1: you see anything, and you can go, I did, but
Speaker 1: we can talk about that at another time. Really like
Speaker 1: own it. I think that will give you so much
Speaker 1: more in the end, and it will you didn't do
Speaker 1: everything right. I think so often we just like a
Speaker 1: and you already know that, I hear it in your voice.
Speaker 1: But I think so often we approach fights like they
Speaker 1: did this. It's just like, find something that you did wrong,
Speaker 1: because it gives you so much more going into the
Speaker 1: part where you get to present them with what they
Speaker 1: did wrong. There's so much blessed defensive if you've already
Speaker 1: kind of shown them how to own up to ship.
Speaker 1: And women usually have to be the ones to lead
Speaker 1: that because we're smarter. Um, we're not necessarily, but in
Speaker 1: these relationships we read the books and everything like that. Um. Please, men,
Speaker 1: don't stop listening to me because I said that I
Speaker 1: love you so much and I you know you are
Speaker 1: smarter and we got to keep that eye going so
Speaker 1: that you believe it and still like us and let
Speaker 1: us live and have reproductive rights. Uh not all men,
Speaker 1: especially not Steve, love you guys so much. Thank you
Speaker 1: for listening to the podcast. We will see you next week.
Speaker 1: We're doing one episode a week till the end of
Speaker 1: the year, and then we will revisit and let you
Speaker 1: know of the new plan. But I'm very excited for
Speaker 1: everything to come for the podcast. I love you guys
Speaker 1: so much. If you're waiting a whole week, come see
Speaker 1: me on the road. I'm going to be in Waterloo,
Speaker 1: New York this week. I'm gonna be in Hershey, Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1: I'm going to be in the Atlantic City. Tickets still
Speaker 1: available Nick Glazer dot com. Plus so many more dates
Speaker 1: just came out arounding up the end of the year,
Speaker 1: Oklahoma City, Tulsa, and St. Louis New Year's Eve. Get
Speaker 1: those tickets soon. New Year's Eve St. Louis is selling
Speaker 1: out um quickly. And then I just released a bunch
Speaker 1: of new dates that you can check out at my Instagram.
Speaker 1: There's a whole graphic with all of them, and I
Speaker 1: would love to see you there. I love you guys
Speaker 1: so much. Thank you for your support, Thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: Have a great week, and don't be cool and g