1 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:06,880 Speaker 1: This is my legacy. Welcome to this week's bonus dropped 2 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,800 Speaker 1: with more from our conversation with Patrick and Amy Kennedy. 3 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:13,760 Speaker 1: Patrick and Amy open up about navigating hard conversations with 4 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: their kids, from setting boundaries around social media to talking 5 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:20,759 Speaker 1: honestly about mental health and addiction at home. If you've 6 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: ever wondered how to parent with both honesty and hope, 7 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:26,319 Speaker 1: this one's for you. Let's jump in. 8 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 2: Now. 9 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:32,879 Speaker 1: One thing you said too as a parent, Amy, with 10 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:36,559 Speaker 1: five children and being extremely busy. I mean you all are, 11 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 1: you know, out there changing the world, being busy, but 12 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 1: you said the importance of connecting with your children. I mean, 13 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,600 Speaker 1: even just this morning on the way here, you know, 14 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:51,400 Speaker 1: before Yolanda was on her way to school, driving herself, 15 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 1: you know, but she wanted to talk about you know, 16 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,480 Speaker 1: you know, homework, and so I was trying to get ready, 17 00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,760 Speaker 1: but I made, you know, sure to just carve out time. 18 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 1: And you know, so I know that is different things 19 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 1: and it also depends on each child. But are there 20 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:07,600 Speaker 1: some things that you all can share for our listeners 21 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:11,120 Speaker 1: that you have found ways to connect. 22 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:15,440 Speaker 3: I kind of came to my realization of the importance 23 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:19,039 Speaker 3: of this after meeting Patrick so I didn't have the 24 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:23,959 Speaker 3: training as he mentioned, or the awareness, but if you 25 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 3: sit with Patrick long enough, you're going to be brought 26 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:31,200 Speaker 3: along on the mental health train. And it was a 27 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 3: realization for me that that was what was lacking in 28 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:39,959 Speaker 3: my classroom, that was something that was lacking for so 29 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 3: many young people. And then to have five kids and 30 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:47,160 Speaker 3: the statistics be one in five is going to struggle 31 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,120 Speaker 3: and it's not always going to be the same one. Yeah, right, 32 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,559 Speaker 3: because we can ebb and flow, as he said, through 33 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 3: wellness and illness, and for some it'll be chronic and 34 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 3: it'll be lifelong. So doing interventions, but then also what 35 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,840 Speaker 3: does a constant or consistent care look like throughout the 36 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 3: life course will be important. But within our own household, 37 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 3: we definitely talk very openly about addiction, about mental health. 38 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 3: We've tried to interview early when it was important. We're 39 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 3: lucky to have a network in this space, so we've 40 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,920 Speaker 3: made those calls. During COVID we had the telehealth going, 41 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 3: we were getting interventions because we weren't even though we 42 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 3: feel like we're being very proactive, we definitely weren't immune 43 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:41,640 Speaker 3: from having challenges with our kids. But also the social 44 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,679 Speaker 3: media and cell phones has been a big piece of 45 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 3: what we focus on, everything from TV and family dinners, 46 00:02:53,320 --> 00:03:01,920 Speaker 3: cell phones, having experiences together, taking time night. Now with 47 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 3: our second oldest, it's funny, I we're still kind of 48 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,760 Speaker 3: tucking him in. You know, he's going to be thirteen 49 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 3: in April, because it's as long as you can because 50 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:18,360 Speaker 3: what you realize is, you know, our oldest just turned seventeen. 51 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 3: Once you stop, you can't go back, and that's awkward. 52 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,320 Speaker 3: But that time at night, that is the time they 53 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:30,680 Speaker 3: want to talk. So that's when we are early to bed. 54 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 3: Patrick and I like to tuck in early, but that 55 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,760 Speaker 3: is when they are the chattiest and they want to 56 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 3: really connect with you, and you have to allow for 57 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,920 Speaker 3: that time on their terms when they want to connect. 58 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:48,800 Speaker 3: But with the social media, we know how addictive it 59 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,640 Speaker 3: is for us and that just sets them up for 60 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 3: that type of distracted needing to escape, and so limiting 61 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 3: that and making sure that they don't have access to 62 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 3: that has been really important. And then keeping them very 63 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 3: busy and active in the community has been a huge 64 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 3: piece of what we do well. 65 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:15,000 Speaker 2: What Amy and I try to do with intention, and 66 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 2: that's key. Intention is to try to be present for 67 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 2: our kids, and it's really hard because we have busy lives. 68 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,160 Speaker 2: Of course, we all have technology that's distracting us all 69 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 2: the time. But you know, spending time with our kids, 70 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:36,440 Speaker 2: holding them, paying attention to them, it lays the foundation 71 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,839 Speaker 2: for resiliency later on in life, because if I don't 72 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 2: pay as much attention now, I guarantee you I'm going 73 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,279 Speaker 2: to have to pay attention down the line because they're 74 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:49,039 Speaker 2: going to be struggling later on. I don't want to 75 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:52,159 Speaker 2: have to do that. Of course, they're all genetically predisposed 76 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 2: to addiction and depression and the like, but I want 77 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:03,040 Speaker 2: to help build resiliency. Amy really has highlighted this idea 78 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:06,720 Speaker 2: that we ought to teach kind of social emotional learning, 79 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:12,160 Speaker 2: resiliency skills, coping mechanism developments in school because these are 80 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 2: life skills that can help people not just trying to 81 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:21,160 Speaker 2: prevent these illnesses from taking hold and pathologizing, but help 82 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 2: us be more actualized and living out our full potential 83 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 2: as opposed to being kind of hostage to our stress 84 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 2: or depression, anxiety, addiction, which of course all take us 85 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 2: hostage when they're we're in the middle of these crises. 86 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:42,839 Speaker 2: We're not operating we're not our own people, We're a 87 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 2: shadow of our real self. 88 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,279 Speaker 1: Coming up on my legacy, what it looks like to 89 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 1: build trust with your kids through honest conversations even when 90 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 1: it's uncomfortable, Like follow and share this with anyone who's 91 00:05:55,760 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 1: navigating to sometimes choppy waters of parenting with more openness 92 00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:00,679 Speaker 1: and less fear. 93 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 4: Now back to my legacy, what would. 94 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 1: You say if you're a single mom and you don't 95 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: have ways to make ends, your ends meet every month? 96 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 1: What advice would you give some of our listeners who 97 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:24,119 Speaker 1: may not legitimately have access to some of the things 98 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 1: that we're talking about, where can they go to get help? 99 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 2: Well? I hear a lot of people come up and 100 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,520 Speaker 2: tell me that their families are suffering. What are they 101 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 2: going to do? What can we do? And I was 102 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,799 Speaker 2: just say, you know, like they say in the airplane, 103 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 2: put your own mask on first before helping others. If 104 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,400 Speaker 2: you're not in a decent place, you're going to be 105 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,400 Speaker 2: no help to the person you're trying to make a 106 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:49,279 Speaker 2: difference with. I often tell people about other kind of 107 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 2: twelve step programs where they can kind of not be alone. 108 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,920 Speaker 2: The kind of worst thing with these illnesses is when 109 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:58,680 Speaker 2: you feel that isolation. No one understands, there's no one 110 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,400 Speaker 2: I can talk to. I think so much of our 111 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:04,880 Speaker 2: mental health could be done if, as I said, we 112 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 2: empower each other to know a little bit about this, 113 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,240 Speaker 2: know how to start the conversation. 114 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 1: Are there any twelve step programs that are that are 115 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,240 Speaker 1: free or at costs? 116 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 2: They're all free, Okay, So that's the most amazing thing. 117 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,040 Speaker 1: So one of the first things is if you are 118 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 1: you're suffering in your home by yourself, get yourself healthy. 119 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 3: First, anything over reading, if you have addiction, if you 120 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:37,640 Speaker 3: are just the family member of someone who has addiction, alcoholism. 121 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 3: So there's twelve steps for just about anything you can 122 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,920 Speaker 3: think of. But there's also other free resources. But I 123 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 3: think what your question really highlights is the one of 124 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,840 Speaker 3: the biggest challenges with our mental health system is the 125 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:57,920 Speaker 3: difficulty navigating it. And so it feels like confusing where 126 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:02,200 Speaker 3: do I start? You know? So if your child screens 127 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 3: for something on at a pediatric visit, they give you 128 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:11,400 Speaker 3: a list like here's all the providers in the area. 129 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 3: You're okay, So I'm just gonna call it, like do 130 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 3: they even have as Patrick mentioned before, that kind of 131 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 3: specialization I don't want just a generic therapy session. If 132 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,240 Speaker 3: it's a needing disorder, I want to make sure that 133 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,640 Speaker 3: I'm going to somebody that's going to get results, because 134 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 3: I think that's where some of the skepticism comes from too, 135 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:37,840 Speaker 3: is it's not personalized care, and so people aren't getting 136 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 3: the type of care specific to what their need is. 137 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 3: But there's definitely free resources. There's resources within the school, 138 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:49,319 Speaker 3: many faith communities offer resources and to check into that. 139 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 3: But also I would say there's a huge online offering, 140 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,600 Speaker 3: which is a blessing and a curse because you have 141 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:01,439 Speaker 3: to make sure that when you are finding tools online 142 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:05,760 Speaker 3: that they are evidence based and accurate. There's a lot 143 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 3: of misinformation online and unfortunately, that's what a lot of 144 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:15,400 Speaker 3: our teens are finding, and they're self diagnosing and even 145 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:20,880 Speaker 3: over identifying with some of those diagnoses, and so we 146 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,600 Speaker 3: have to be careful there and just make sure that 147 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 3: you're finding good resources. 148 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,439 Speaker 1: And Amy, I'm curious as to what would be some 149 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:32,679 Speaker 1: conversations that you would encourage parents to have with their 150 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:35,079 Speaker 1: children on mental health. 151 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:40,360 Speaker 3: One of the things that we've just started talking more 152 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:46,240 Speaker 3: about is not just the social media, but as marijuana 153 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:51,920 Speaker 3: becomes legalized and online gambling becomes legalized, talking more to 154 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:56,840 Speaker 3: our kids about that and about how they are being 155 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:01,240 Speaker 3: manipulated to be addicted, because because I think it is 156 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:06,640 Speaker 3: inherent in young people to want to be in control. 157 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 3: So when they realize that the systems are designed to 158 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:16,040 Speaker 3: get them hooked, to get them to not look away, 159 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:21,319 Speaker 3: it empowers them to say no, this is you won't 160 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 3: have my time, my attention, and that their attention is 161 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:29,160 Speaker 3: a really valuable commodity. And to be able to talk 162 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:34,000 Speaker 3: about it and lay out what all the risks are 163 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:37,559 Speaker 3: for them down the line has been important. But also 164 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:44,079 Speaker 3: Patrick's openness about his own experience comes up every day. 165 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,199 Speaker 3: You know, they live in a house where they see 166 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 3: and talk about where we're going, what our work is 167 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 3: on a daily basis, what the challenges we're seeing are 168 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:58,880 Speaker 3: and see it kind of lived out and know that 169 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 3: even if and there's a likelihood that they will have challenges, 170 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 3: that there's also help, yes, and hope and outcomes that 171 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 3: can be positive. And look at what your dad's done 172 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:14,760 Speaker 3: and how he's living today. 173 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,600 Speaker 1: I love that hint of ninja parenting in there, what 174 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 1: I call it. If teens want to if they want 175 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 1: to rebel against something anyway, just let them know, do 176 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,080 Speaker 1: you understand that when you're doing this, this and this, 177 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 1: you're doing what it is that these you know, these 178 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,800 Speaker 1: algorithms want you to do. So that'll make them like 179 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,040 Speaker 1: just rebel just on general principle. 180 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:38,319 Speaker 3: I was really unpopular when I, UH with my teenager. 181 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:44,520 Speaker 3: We took away her phone for a year and we 182 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:48,320 Speaker 3: just saw it was it was problematic. You know, the 183 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:53,080 Speaker 3: other kids don't have phones yet and the old estimate yeah, 184 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 3: she's seventeen now, but last year she was given a phone. 185 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 3: I gave her back a phone, but it was one 186 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 3: that just had. 187 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:05,000 Speaker 1: We did that two weeks. We did that for two weeks. 188 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 1: We gave her like this phone where a flip phone. 189 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 1: She was living and in fact, some day she would 190 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,240 Speaker 1: intentionally like leave it. I was like, well you know, 191 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah, yeah, how am I going to because 192 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 1: there were some teachers that would collect the phones, you know, 193 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 1: like when you're going you don't want any this flip phone. 194 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,440 Speaker 1: I was like, well, you know, so she would just 195 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,559 Speaker 1: do without it. So yeah, so it's good to know that. 196 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,040 Speaker 1: But now maybe I'll next time go a little bit 197 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 1: longer than it was. 198 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 3: It was really uh a change and you know, you 199 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 3: get a lot of pushback. But I got to a 200 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:44,559 Speaker 3: point where I said, if I am getting angry about 201 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:46,040 Speaker 3: this and I don't want you to do it, then 202 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:49,840 Speaker 3: why am I enabling you, you know, the tools to 203 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 3: do the very thing that I know isn't good for 204 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,840 Speaker 3: you and that I don't want you to do. And 205 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 3: unless you can rein it in, which we're asking them 206 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:03,480 Speaker 3: to rein in something that is addictive, it's it's addictive 207 00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 3: for us. So if I can't trust you to be 208 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,079 Speaker 3: able to dial it back, then I need to do 209 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:13,959 Speaker 3: that for you. You are still you know, young, and 210 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,280 Speaker 3: I have to be the adult, and I have to say, 211 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,720 Speaker 3: I know it's not good for you. I know it is. 212 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 3: I'm seeing it and the outcomes and so uh so 213 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:27,560 Speaker 3: we did it and it wasn't fun, and you know, 214 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:32,000 Speaker 3: we saw a big shift and when our oldest started 215 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 3: to show kind of more responsible behavior and more engagement 216 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:39,640 Speaker 3: and life was changing. And now you know, the phone 217 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:43,720 Speaker 3: is back, but the behaviors are different and it worked 218 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 3: so well. 219 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,160 Speaker 1: You and I can start our own life support. Have 220 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:51,119 Speaker 1: to do that because really, but yeah. 221 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:55,360 Speaker 2: But I so just the last night when or the 222 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:58,200 Speaker 2: night before last, I was talking our twelve year old 223 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:01,719 Speaker 2: in and he we'd played the memory game and he 224 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 2: was really good at it. So I said, oh, and 225 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:08,319 Speaker 2: you're so, you know, blessed, you can really how you're 226 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:12,360 Speaker 2: good at math, you're good at sports, he's terrific at basketball. 227 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:16,320 Speaker 2: I said. The skills you're really gonna need that really 228 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 2: are the ability to manage your emotions, because I said, 229 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,680 Speaker 2: you're about to go into puberty. You're going to have 230 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:27,520 Speaker 2: lots of ups and downs, and managing those is really 231 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,120 Speaker 2: what I spent my life trying to you know, perfect 232 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,000 Speaker 2: and work on. And he really paid attention because I 233 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:37,440 Speaker 2: put in the context of he's great at sports, he's 234 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:42,240 Speaker 2: great academically, he wants to be great, right, and then 235 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:47,840 Speaker 2: here's how you really become great, you know. And then 236 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,480 Speaker 2: you know, when I was leaving the room, I said, 237 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 2: you know, I make sure you say your prayers because 238 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 2: you never know when you're going to need God, and 239 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 2: it's better to keep those that channel of communication open. 240 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,960 Speaker 2: You know. You could just kind of see his eyes 241 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:06,360 Speaker 2: open up, like you know, and you don't know, like 242 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 2: we don't know. We have to work on it all 243 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:11,720 Speaker 2: the time so that it's not a pinch hit kind 244 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:15,760 Speaker 2: of prayer, we're open our hearts to kind of needing 245 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,600 Speaker 2: help all the time. In that way, it's not going 246 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,480 Speaker 2: to be so overwhelming when we're in that position. 247 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 4: Well, we actually recently spoke to an amazing psychologist. He 248 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:29,000 Speaker 4: was the Gentleman at Columbia University, of course, the head 249 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:31,440 Speaker 4: of the positive psychology department. He said that the number 250 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:35,040 Speaker 4: one tip for families to ensure that their kids have 251 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,720 Speaker 4: positive mental health is to have a practice of spirituality. Well, 252 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:42,960 Speaker 4: the number one tip spirituality equals mental health. If you 253 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 4: had one suggestion, one best suggestion for our listeners, and 254 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,600 Speaker 4: I know it's hard, but one best suggestion for our 255 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,320 Speaker 4: listeners to say, here's the one thing that they need 256 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,000 Speaker 4: to do on a consistent basis to maintain and to 257 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,000 Speaker 4: flourish with our mental health. What would that be. 258 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 2: Well, I think it's going back to that idea of service. 259 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:06,920 Speaker 2: It's such a paradox that by being there for others 260 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:11,560 Speaker 2: you are relieved, but the response that others gives you 261 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:15,160 Speaker 2: is sustaining and affirming. So if you want to have 262 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:20,280 Speaker 2: high self esteem, do esteemable things, like when we talked 263 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 2: about cognitive behavioral therapy, just practice today opening the door 264 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:28,400 Speaker 2: for someone asking how they are, looking them in the eye, 265 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,160 Speaker 2: giving them a smile. All of a sudden, your day 266 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:35,200 Speaker 2: will change because they'll be, oh, thank you, their eyes 267 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:38,880 Speaker 2: will lighten up, they will have appreciation for you. You'll 268 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:43,560 Speaker 2: feel better about it yourself. It's kind of a chemistry 269 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,920 Speaker 2: that we have the ability to do in our own lives. 270 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:51,160 Speaker 2: By being around for others, you'd be amazed you're inviting 271 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:55,760 Speaker 2: them to be there for you too. And again, loneliness 272 00:16:55,800 --> 00:17:00,840 Speaker 2: and isolation pathologize as mental health and addiction and just 273 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:04,359 Speaker 2: a general health. So this is the universal thing, is 274 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:05,560 Speaker 2: social connection. 275 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:10,560 Speaker 3: And I would say, you know, to Patrick's earlier point, 276 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:16,280 Speaker 3: vote on this issue and also make yourself known. It's actually, 277 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:19,680 Speaker 3: you know, kind of counterintuitive, but the more vulnerable you are, 278 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,280 Speaker 3: the more you attract people to you. So when you 279 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:25,639 Speaker 3: can share your story, it's amazing how many people will 280 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:30,720 Speaker 3: gather around and feel free to share with their experience. 281 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,600 Speaker 1: I love, too, what you said about the being of service, 282 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:38,679 Speaker 1: because as your father said, anybody can be great because 283 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:43,679 Speaker 1: anyone can serve, And there is something about doing something 284 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:47,919 Speaker 1: for others that really in turns fulfills you and fills 285 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:48,280 Speaker 1: you up. 286 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:53,240 Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that's the key to our nation's recovery, 287 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,679 Speaker 2: and your family's legacy of call to service is so 288 00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:02,760 Speaker 2: timely because if you want to reduce social isolation, if 289 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,919 Speaker 2: you want to reduce anxiety, depression, and addiction, if you 290 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,720 Speaker 2: have people involved in the lives of their neighbors and 291 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:13,280 Speaker 2: their friends and their community, they will get connected and 292 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,920 Speaker 2: feel better about themselves and the country will heal as 293 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:20,439 Speaker 2: a result. The most powerful part of recovery is that 294 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:25,280 Speaker 2: you our main mission is to help the next suffering person. Yes, 295 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,720 Speaker 2: and what a relief that is to ourselves that we 296 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:32,399 Speaker 2: have a purpose. Imagine people thinking about how powerful it 297 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 2: is to have a purpose. 298 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,520 Speaker 1: That certainly is one of the intentions of realizing the 299 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:39,320 Speaker 1: dream that we all are doing together is to really 300 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:43,560 Speaker 1: help to find healing to ourselves, to each other, and 301 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:47,200 Speaker 1: for the nation. So we certainly invite any of our listeners. 302 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,680 Speaker 1: I know that you all will be working with us 303 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,560 Speaker 1: in the next four years to get this one hundred 304 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,800 Speaker 1: million hours of service done, and so we invite everyone 305 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,080 Speaker 1: listening to be a part, to be a part of this. 306 00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:00,000 Speaker 4: I love that tangible challenge to parents. 307 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:05,280 Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us. If you enjoyed today's conversation, subscribe, Share, 308 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,560 Speaker 1: and follow us at my Legacy Movement on social media. 309 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:12,840 Speaker 1: New episodes drop every Tuesday, with bonus content every Thursday. 310 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:16,840 Speaker 1: At its core, this podcast honors doctor King's vision of 311 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:20,960 Speaker 1: the beloved community and the power of connection. A Legacy 312 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:26,920 Speaker 1: Plus Studio production distributed by iHeartMedia creator and executive producer 313 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:31,560 Speaker 1: Suzanne Haywood co executive producer Lisa Lyle. Listen on the 314 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Until next time, 315 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 1: may you find inspiration to live your legacy.