Speaker 1: The Craig Ferguson Pants on Fire Tour is on sale now.
Speaker 1: It's a new show, it's new material, but I'm afraid
Speaker 1: it's still only me, Craig Ferguson on my own, standing
Speaker 1: on a stage telling comedy words. Come and see me,
Speaker 1: buy tickets, bring your loved ones, or don't come and
Speaker 1: see me. Don't buy tickets and don't bring your loved ones.
Speaker 2: I'm not your dad.
Speaker 1: You come or don't come, but you should at least
Speaker 1: know what's happening, and it is. The tour kicks off
Speaker 1: late September and goes through the end of the year
Speaker 1: and beyond. Tickets are available at the Craig Ferguson Show
Speaker 1: dot com slash tour. They are available at the Craig
Speaker 1: Ferguson show dot com slash tour or at your local
Speaker 1: outlet in your region. My name is Craig Ferguson. The
Speaker 1: name of this podcast is joy. I talk to interest
Speaker 1: in people about what brings them happiness. My guest today
Speaker 1: is cool and the young, which to me asked the
Speaker 1: question what is she doing here talking to me?
Speaker 2: But she is. He's very interesting and funny. Natalie Cuomo.
Speaker 1: Weird as weird maggot infection and his ass and her ass,
Speaker 1: and it's like, oh my god. And I the bet said, no,
Speaker 1: it's quite serious. So you have to like, let's get
Speaker 1: him out now and then bring around them.
Speaker 3: Like to do it yourself.
Speaker 2: Apparently you know. Now I'm a millionaire, I have apparently.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was quite a rare thing, but I was
Speaker 1: pulling these little maggots out of my dog's ass.
Speaker 2: It's one of the most disgusting things I've ever done
Speaker 2: in my life. And I've done some prey disgusting.
Speaker 4: Thing now me too, And I can say I've never
Speaker 4: pulled maggots out of a.
Speaker 1: I'd say yeah, you say yeah, behind yeah, Like if
Speaker 1: you brush your dog's teeth. I'm guessing you love your dog, right,
Speaker 1: I love him? Yeah, all right, so you love your dog? Yeah,
Speaker 1: And then suddenly you get the diagnosed, I'm afraid your
Speaker 1: dog has maggot ass.
Speaker 3: I'm in there.
Speaker 2: It's good to talk about.
Speaker 1: Get the maggot ass conversation out first, because I am
Speaker 1: interested in like quite a lot on this podcast.
Speaker 2: We get young comedians on.
Speaker 1: I'm not I hope it's not patronizing to call you
Speaker 1: a young comedian, but you are, and you are a comedian,
Speaker 1: and I'm fascinated by it because the route that you
Speaker 1: guys take, the rount that you guys take, seems very
Speaker 1: different to what I did back in the day, because
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know this without me, I
Speaker 1: am an old comedian and it's a very different thing.
Speaker 1: Like correct me from wrong. Yeah, but you like start
Speaker 1: out wanting to be a comedian.
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course.
Speaker 2: See, I didn't want to do that.
Speaker 3: I just I just like, what do I want to do?
Speaker 2: I just I don't know, stay out of jail.
Speaker 1: It's like like, to me, being a comedian is like
Speaker 1: being a realtor or something.
Speaker 4: Yeah, to be fair, I did want to be an
Speaker 4: actor for most of my life.
Speaker 3: Okay, kind of failed at that.
Speaker 1: Right, So you've failed as something that's good, So you're
Speaker 1: you're now you're on your way beating yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And then I was like, all right, now it's time
Speaker 4: to do comedy.
Speaker 1: But wait, how can you fail at being an actor?
Speaker 1: You're are you even thirty yet?
Speaker 3: I'm nine?
Speaker 2: Okay, so that's not that's not failing yet, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean that's that's like you didn't you weren't up
Speaker 1: for it, Like did you do additions and stuff?
Speaker 4: I think what I mean by failing is I gave
Speaker 4: up on myself.
Speaker 2: Oh that's good.
Speaker 1: See now the darkness begins to emerge. Yeah, yeah, the
Speaker 1: specter begins to emerge from the fall because I my
Speaker 1: feeling is the most well adjusted, nice.
Speaker 2: People I've men show is that's that everybody?
Speaker 1: Are the people that make dark shit like Quinn Tarantino,
Speaker 1: Stephen King so nice, so upbeat, so kind of yeah, hey,
Speaker 1: how you doing, No, don't worry, I'll get it. The darkest,
Speaker 1: nastiest people. Actually, the nastiest people are the ones who
Speaker 1: make romantic comedies.
Speaker 2: They're like the worst.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like if anybody says I write I want to write
Speaker 1: and direct romantic comedies, run red flag.
Speaker 2: Yeah it's a red flag to me. I'm afraid.
Speaker 3: But do you want to do that romantic comedies?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: No, No, What did you want to.
Speaker 2: Do when you were an actress then? Or when you
Speaker 2: were when you were acting?
Speaker 4: I just wanted to be like in like a drama
Speaker 4: being just like the emotional teenage girl.
Speaker 3: That I was.
Speaker 2: That's our So what were you watching?
Speaker 1: But he wasn't Like, let's see, if you're twenty nine,
Speaker 1: I guess what were the things you'd be watching as
Speaker 1: a kid.
Speaker 4: Like, if I'm being completely honest, like I grew up
Speaker 4: this is an unexpected twist.
Speaker 3: I grew up a hardcore musical theater kid.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, yeah, so I don't think that. I don't
Speaker 1: think the dust is I don't think the game is
Speaker 1: over with musical theater.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the game's over with musical theater.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know at what point is the game over
Speaker 1: with musical theater. Like if somebody comes to you and go, okay, look,
Speaker 1: we're recasting Hamillton. We're doing Hambledon against an all female cast,
Speaker 1: and we want you to be George Washington.
Speaker 3: No, actually, do you know what This is a great
Speaker 3: idea me George Washington.
Speaker 2: I don't female Hamilton. I think that's awesome.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do think that's cool. I just think that.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I feel like I didn't find my voice until I
Speaker 4: started doing comedy because the confidence I gained from failing
Speaker 4: so much in comedy is what made me the person
Speaker 4: that I am.
Speaker 1: It's a failure based thing. And yeah, that's interesting. When
Speaker 1: did you first Did you do it like an open
Speaker 1: mic or something?
Speaker 3: Yes, I it's so funny.
Speaker 4: The first open mic I went to, it was canceled, like,
Speaker 4: so I walked to another one that day I was canceled,
Speaker 4: so I had to go to the third one that day.
Speaker 2: That's good joke, yes, right, okay.
Speaker 4: And I went to that one. I talked so fast
Speaker 4: it was horrible. But then I went every day since.
Speaker 1: And did the audience react poorly? Where they or were
Speaker 1: they just quiet?
Speaker 4: I kind of black the first one, I kind of
Speaker 4: blacked out, like I just talked.
Speaker 3: Really fast, got off station, was like I did it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But that's the thing I think that that is about
Speaker 1: that about being a real comedian is that when you fail,
Speaker 1: like a normal person would say, well that was so horrible,
Speaker 1: I never want to do that again. But when you
Speaker 1: die as a comedian, you're like, all right, well that
Speaker 1: wasn't what I planned, but I'll do it again. And
Speaker 1: your immediate thing is to go back and do it again.
Speaker 1: What's your background? Like, man, what you grew up in Queens?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: All right, so your musical theater kid. So you're like
Speaker 1: you're you're like doing Annie and stuff in high school
Speaker 1: that kind of thing.
Speaker 4: So up until like middle school, high school, I was
Speaker 4: pretty much bullied out of liking musical theaters.
Speaker 2: I can't imagine you're being bullied. You seem like you're
Speaker 2: on your game.
Speaker 3: Well it happened, all right, Okay, I believe it.
Speaker 4: And then I just got really into like the environment.
Speaker 4: I thought I was going to be a farmer. I
Speaker 4: went to college for Queens. Yeah, I did. Like this thing.
Speaker 4: It's called like gorilla gardening, where you find kind of abandoned.
Speaker 2: All right, yeah, it's not let you go.
Speaker 1: That gorilla helped me and my I'll put a hat
Speaker 1: on that gorilla and a bit of an overalls and
Speaker 1: it will help me.
Speaker 3: And it will be my boyfriend.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's all right. Dude, do you have a you married?
Speaker 3: I am married?
Speaker 2: All right? So how long you been married?
Speaker 3: Two weeks?
Speaker 2: Shut up?
Speaker 1: Congratulations lovely. Shouldn't you be on your honeymoon or something?
Speaker 3: We went away for like a week?
Speaker 2: Okay? Yeah? Is your husband in show business? Yes? Does
Speaker 2: he do comedy? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay? How's that? You guys write together and stuff we do.
Speaker 4: I think the only struggle is like I'll tell him
Speaker 4: a joke idea that I think is really good, and
Speaker 4: he'll be like, no, that's not good. And I'll be like, no,
Speaker 4: it is good. Yeah, I'll be like I can't let
Speaker 4: you do that.
Speaker 1: Did you meet him in the comedy world, Like did
Speaker 1: you see him as a stand up before you before
Speaker 1: you like you started going out?
Speaker 4: Yeah, we actually met. Like I was taping my special
Speaker 4: and the host canceled on me last minute, like that day, right,
Speaker 4: and he was my friend and I was like, I'm
Speaker 4: so mad at this girl she canceled on hosting. He's like,
Speaker 4: is there anything I could do? I'm like, you could
Speaker 4: host the show? And then we got together that night.
Speaker 2: Oh nice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you you have a I don't understand how
Speaker 1: that works.
Speaker 2: Like, you have a host for your special?
Speaker 1: What does that mean because I've done I've never had
Speaker 1: a host on any specially Yeah.
Speaker 3: No one does time up top.
Speaker 2: No fuck no, no, I don't do that. Like I
Speaker 2: used to have.
Speaker 4: You do the whole and that you don't you warm
Speaker 4: them up, you do the whole thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, well you're more of a badass. I don't
Speaker 3: know what to say.
Speaker 2: No, no, I'm cheap. It's what it is.
Speaker 1: Like I'll go out and say to the audience, I
Speaker 1: know you were probably expecting to warm up, but what
Speaker 1: I thought i'd do is just suck for the first
Speaker 1: ten minutes and charge myself a thousand dollars. And but
Speaker 1: I kind of like, I didn't used to do it.
Speaker 1: I used to have but I see what you mean now, right,
Speaker 1: But I didn't used.
Speaker 2: To do that. I used to do the other way.
Speaker 2: So he kind of opened for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's kind of an interesting power dynamic going on.
Speaker 1: You're like, okay, you open for me, and then you're like, hey,
Speaker 1: you want to go out, And.
Speaker 2: Then now you're married and he's telling you your jokes suck.
Speaker 3: No, it's great. We tour together, which is fun.
Speaker 2: So that's great, you know what.
Speaker 1: That's the way to save you know, or or keep
Speaker 1: your keep the love alive, because.
Speaker 2: You know, if you're a comic, you're going to be
Speaker 2: on the road.
Speaker 4: Yes, we so we both like we tour together and
Speaker 4: then at the end we'll like go on stage together,
Speaker 4: which is fun.
Speaker 2: Oh nice.
Speaker 1: So can you do things like a joke from your
Speaker 1: perspective something happened, and then he can do it and
Speaker 1: his say a joke from his persection the same thing happened,
Speaker 1: and then you can like argue about it in the end.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well argue.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great. I think I think this sounds like
Speaker 1: a great show. Yeah, and so are you doing clubs
Speaker 1: or are you? I guess younger comedians. Now everything's about
Speaker 1: social media, right, like that's the way up. Now, do
Speaker 1: you do you have all that the Instakart and instacart
Speaker 1: for sure?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Rights, yeahbrates you gotta have that Instagram? Yes, and tickety talk.
Speaker 1: You got the tickety talk and do you make them?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: You make original content for tickety Talk with your husbands.
Speaker 3: Well, it's more.
Speaker 4: Like I will just post my stand up clips on
Speaker 4: there and then I'll also make some content. But we
Speaker 4: don't really post content together.
Speaker 1: Okay, because somebody's gonna come at you and say, do
Speaker 1: you guys want to do a sitcom? That's how we'd
Speaker 1: go and know they're like, you guys are married in
Speaker 1: real life and your stand ups.
Speaker 3: This is a sitcom that would be nice.
Speaker 2: It is the nineteen eighty six.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to be you'd have to be like
Speaker 1: stand ups and detectives.
Speaker 2: Are you You could maybe do that?
Speaker 1: I think so, like you could be detectives and stand
Speaker 1: ups together, yeah, and then like soft crimes and then
Speaker 1: at the end you do jokes about it.
Speaker 3: Okay, I like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know it's working for me. I think it's good.
Speaker 1: So anyway you come up in Queen's what your family are?
Speaker 1: Your family in show business?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: No, no, no, So what you would your family do?
Speaker 4: My dad was an English teacher and my mom was
Speaker 4: a landscape architect and now she's a dog trainer.
Speaker 2: Dog trainer m hmm, like for a circus or just
Speaker 2: like regular for.
Speaker 3: Fun, like not like kind of like her retirement project.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, And I think if your dad's an English teacher,
Speaker 1: that's kind of being a show That's kind of like
Speaker 1: I always think teachers is.
Speaker 2: Kind of like being a stand up.
Speaker 1: So you go to go in front of hostile audience
Speaker 1: every day try to get them to listen to you.
Speaker 1: It's it's like the early day is a stand up
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 3: I definitely think he likes performing.
Speaker 2: Yeah do you do? You like it?
Speaker 1: You enjoy of course you enjoy it, But when did
Speaker 1: you know that you enjoyed it performing?
Speaker 3: In general?
Speaker 4: I really truly feel like since I was a kid, well,
Speaker 4: when I was a kid, I was afraid of everything, right,
Speaker 4: I was afraid of the auditorium in school. Okay, my
Speaker 4: mom signed me up for an acting class to get
Speaker 4: me over my fear of the auditor.
Speaker 2: You were just frightened of the actual room.
Speaker 4: Of like so many people being in there at once,
Speaker 4: just going in for every day.
Speaker 2: Where did that come from?
Speaker 3: Do you think I'm just over overly sensitive?
Speaker 2: Are you?
Speaker 1: Are you a very anxious person? Yes, it's interesting, you
Speaker 1: know so many stand ups are anxious.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 1: And then the weird thing is you choose such a crazy,
Speaker 1: high pressure career.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Why do you think that is? Why do we seek
Speaker 1: comfort in something that most normal people would find very frightening?
Speaker 4: In my opinion, it's because being on stage is the
Speaker 4: only moment where I'm forced to be present. It's the
Speaker 4: only time where I can't be in my head overthinking
Speaker 4: every single situation because I have to be present.
Speaker 2: Okay, have you ever done a show where you like,
Speaker 2: how long you been doing this?
Speaker 3: Like seven years?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: So I've always had this idea that stand up is
Speaker 1: a ten year apprenticeship. Yeah, yeah, and that I have
Speaker 1: done shows now when i'm can have it, like, especially
Speaker 1: if I've done the routine a lot, like I'm you know,
Speaker 1: I go out a halfway to a shoe, I'm thinking,
Speaker 1: you know, I should probably get the car fixed.
Speaker 2: That oil life is now like fifteen percent, and I'm.
Speaker 1: Doing material, yeah that it's working, and I'm thinking about
Speaker 1: other stuff. You're an autopilot kind of a little bit,
Speaker 1: and I try not to do that because I think
Speaker 1: you're probably not doing a good show. So I break
Speaker 1: my I bust myself on it. But I've done it before,
Speaker 1: but I totally understand it. Do you ever do that
Speaker 1: thing where you write on stage?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great, isn't it. You get that zone you're
Speaker 1: kind of like, where did that come from? I don't
Speaker 1: know where that came from?
Speaker 4: And you get off stage, like what was you? Just
Speaker 4: like listen and write it down.
Speaker 2: Do you tape every show? Yes, yeah, you got it.
Speaker 1: That's one of the things that I think is so
Speaker 1: great about the technology now. The bad thing is you
Speaker 1: guys are giving away material all the time, Like young
Speaker 1: people are like Don Rickles, who is, like, I guess,
Speaker 1: forty years older than me. Rickles he'd had one routine
Speaker 1: his entire career. I know, is that crazy?
Speaker 4: The thing that really bothers me is that people think
Speaker 4: that people really think that every time they see a
Speaker 4: stand up comedian it's going to be different every night.
Speaker 4: They're doing something different, even though classically people should be
Speaker 4: working on the same jokes for years because that's how
Speaker 4: you develop the jokes, developed the confidence, and the jokes
Speaker 4: find new tags.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 4: But that is also sort of the nature of the
Speaker 4: game of selling tickets and putting things out online. And
Speaker 4: also if you're posting crowd work, I feel like people
Speaker 4: are like, oh, so you're just posting crowd work.
Speaker 3: You don't write.
Speaker 1: Now the crowd work thing is in session for those
Speaker 1: who don't know what crowd.
Speaker 2: Work is, and I imagine this's probably.
Speaker 1: Some crowd work is when you come out to a
Speaker 1: club everyone's there and you go, Hi, where are you from.
Speaker 1: The guy says I'm from Queen's and you go, ah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can tell cause you're hat or wherever, and then
Speaker 1: you start busting the guy for having a hat from
Speaker 1: Queens or or somebody's from Brazil, and you start asking
Speaker 1: about coffee or wherever you do you kind of riff
Speaker 1: on whatever information that person gives you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and a lot of comedians do it, right. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think it's tricky that stuff because I don't like
Speaker 1: it because when I started, there was a lot of hecklers,
Speaker 1: and I feel like if you start talking to the audience,
Speaker 1: they might start talking to you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, are you okay with cred work? Do
Speaker 2: you do a lot of it?
Speaker 3: I do CrowdWork.
Speaker 4: I think sometimes doing CrowdWork grounds me in the moment,
Speaker 4: Like if I start to find myself being on autopilot,
Speaker 4: I'll do a little bit of CrowdWork just to like
Speaker 4: ground myself back in the room and in the people.
Speaker 1: Right now, once you're on stage and once you've established
Speaker 1: your position, I think that's right. That's when I would
Speaker 1: do it, like i'd refine with the audience. But I
Speaker 1: have to establish in the first five minutes. Yes I'm
Speaker 1: fucking driving. Yeah, Daddy's talking into the big make your
Speaker 1: voice loud machine.
Speaker 2: And then when.
Speaker 1: When I say, you know, you get to come at
Speaker 1: the table, but not until then. And I think that
Speaker 1: I've seen guys in clubs who just open with CrowdWork,
Speaker 1: and I think you're asking for trouble. Now you're basically
Speaker 1: letting the audience uh, too close, too soon, do you.
Speaker 2: Know what I mean? It's like, you don't you don't
Speaker 2: want to do that.
Speaker 1: Who are the comedians you looked up to who are
Speaker 1: the people that you were like, I want to be
Speaker 1: like her or him or them.
Speaker 3: Well, Sarah Silvermantel.
Speaker 2: Was a genius.
Speaker 3: I love a Tell.
Speaker 2: I love a Tell.
Speaker 1: Yeah, He's like, oh my god, have you heard Skanks
Speaker 1: for the Memory?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I had to the first time I heard that album,
Speaker 1: I had to pull. I was listening to it like
Speaker 1: I had to pull off the road.
Speaker 3: I was like, I definitely missed an exit.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: When he talks about his little friend, I was like,
Speaker 1: did you ever see when David Tell and Jeff Ross
Speaker 1: were doing that bumping mic? I always thought that was
Speaker 1: like going to see like the Velvet Underground or something,
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: It's like they were kind of like not a lot
Speaker 2: of people knew about it.
Speaker 1: But the ones that knew about it were like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, this is changing the game totally. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: where did you first see those guys? They're because they're
Speaker 1: like Sarah is very well. Actually they used to go
Speaker 1: out together, David Tall and Sarah, so really yeah, they
Speaker 1: were they dated for years.
Speaker 3: But you know, I guess I didn't know that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you were probably in school when they were
Speaker 1: doing that. But yeah, they've been out for a long time,
Speaker 1: I think. But they're very they're both quite kind of edgy,
Speaker 1: underground vibe, particularly Dave, like they're kind of like you've
Speaker 1: got to kind of be on the inside a little bit.
Speaker 3: You've gotta be kind of cool to that's me just kidding.
Speaker 2: Well, you kind of are a little bit.
Speaker 1: I mean you kind of come off like that, like
Speaker 1: you know, you're wearing black clothing, you've got a lot
Speaker 1: of ink, which.
Speaker 3: Is I approve of that, thank you.
Speaker 1: But I'm also wearing dark clothing but light pants because
Speaker 1: I'm over sixty years old now and you have to
Speaker 1: wear light pants. You have to wear light pants. You
Speaker 1: have to wear light pants so that people can find
Speaker 1: you if you wander off on your own.
Speaker 2: Or Grandpa, go.
Speaker 3: Light pants, wear my pants.
Speaker 1: But I wasn't cool when I I I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: cool now, but oh you're very cool, very cool now.
Speaker 1: But I wasn't cool when I was young. But you
Speaker 1: seem quite cool. And I have met comedians who are
Speaker 1: cool like Dave. Actually, David Tail's kind of cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's certainly cool now.
Speaker 3: He's really cool.
Speaker 2: And Sarah was always cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she was always like very kind of shockingly beautiful
Speaker 1: and cool and yet very funny, which is kind of
Speaker 1: like a heady mix.
Speaker 2: Do you ever see John Rivers?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I always loved Joan Rivers, but I guess that's kind
Speaker 1: of a little in the before times.
Speaker 2: Maybe.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4: I just feel like there's definitely a certain era of
Speaker 4: stand up comedians whose albums I would just like listen
Speaker 4: to on Spotify, and I don't know, I just like
Speaker 4: got really into listening to it all the time. I
Speaker 4: feel like, even though it is a visual format, I
Speaker 4: really prefer listening to it than watching it if it's
Speaker 4: not live.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would agree with you. I don't know that.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it is that visual a forma.
Speaker 4: I guess it is like with specials nowadays and stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know about that though. I mean there's
Speaker 1: a lot of people doing specials. I'm like, oh care
Speaker 1: about this guy. I mean, some specials are great, some
Speaker 1: of them are great, and some of the young comedians
Speaker 1: are very exciting and very different. But there's a little
Speaker 1: bit of hating on people broke type comedians.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know that. I feel like.
Speaker 1: We've covered this. I'm not against that as a style
Speaker 1: of comedy. I just think it's kind of oversubscribed, and
Speaker 1: there's some very good people doing it. But you know,
Speaker 1: do what I'm saying, Yeah, that might communicating of course. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so is do you have rules for yourself about you
Speaker 1: boil them? Because you're a younger generation comic, so you've
Speaker 1: got all the rules that you have to follow about
Speaker 1: pronouns and gender identities and racial manners and all that
Speaker 1: stuff that older comedians complain about but actually don't really.
Speaker 1: You know, they complain about being restricted by it, but
Speaker 1: actually while they're enjoying their Netflix whatever, ye like, Wait,
Speaker 1: nobody's telling you to not say that's you made that up?
Speaker 1: Do you feel like the world is trickier? Is it
Speaker 1: tricky for a stand up com Do you have to
Speaker 1: watch out? Is there is there danger and subjects you
Speaker 1: think I probably shouldn't talk about that.
Speaker 4: It's weird because I don't feel inclined to talk about
Speaker 4: those things just because they're not my experience, Like, those
Speaker 4: are not the things that are coming up for me
Speaker 4: that I'm like, I really want to write a joke
Speaker 4: about race, because that's just not I'm not at that
Speaker 4: point in my career where I want to really be
Speaker 4: writing about that. I want to be writing about my experiences.
Speaker 2: What are your experiences? Then?
Speaker 3: I don't know. I've definitely I try a lot.
Speaker 4: I write a lot about like trying to make mental
Speaker 4: health funny in a way I'm really trying. Sometimes I
Speaker 4: feel like I'm pushing it a little too much, Like
Speaker 4: people don't really come to a comedy show to hear
Speaker 4: about me talk about that therapy.
Speaker 1: But I think that's fair. Look, people talk about therapy
Speaker 1: all the time. Are you in therapy?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what are you talking about in the therapy?
Speaker 2: Imagine I'm your therapist. Do you want me to put
Speaker 2: on a German accent?
Speaker 1: I feel like it helps sometimes, so listen, tell me,
Speaker 1: says Natalie. You are coming here today, and I feel
Speaker 1: that you are feeling sensitive and a little guarded. Yeah,
Speaker 1: why are you a little guarded? Do you feel under
Speaker 1: threatned anyway?
Speaker 3: No? No, I don't feel that way.
Speaker 2: All right? Are you just shy?
Speaker 3: I'm shy? Yeah.
Speaker 2: Most comedians I know are quite shy.
Speaker 4: You know. It's funny because you know, when I was
Speaker 4: a kid and I couldn't sleep, I would go into
Speaker 4: my dad's room and watch your show.
Speaker 2: Shut up?
Speaker 4: Really, that was like we would watch either your show
Speaker 4: or Celebrity Poker.
Speaker 2: Celebrity Poker is the way to go. Well, see that.
Speaker 2: Now here's the thing that's weird.
Speaker 1: And when I was doing the late night show, I
Speaker 1: would meet people that were I'd seen on TV a lot,
Speaker 1: and it would kind of freak me out a.
Speaker 2: Little, Yeah, are you there right now? A little? I
Speaker 2: understand that.
Speaker 1: I get it, Like when I first when you first
Speaker 1: start meeting famous people, did you get.
Speaker 2: Your heart would be a little faster. Stuff I would
Speaker 2: get like that.
Speaker 1: I feel like a little adrenaline, like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's like oh.
Speaker 2: But then after time you get Jada's are you jaded yet?
Speaker 2: You probably?
Speaker 3: I don't know. I honestly, it's funny.
Speaker 4: I almost didn't get into acting school because I told
Speaker 4: them I don't like movies. I'm very particular with the
Speaker 4: things that I actually have seen, so I feel like
Speaker 4: I'll meet famous people and I'm like, I haven't seen
Speaker 4: your stuff, so I really don't care.
Speaker 3: But when I've seeing their stuff, then I'm like, WHOA.
Speaker 1: Yes, I understand that as well, because that if you
Speaker 1: haven't seen sometuff, then they're not famous to you. The only
Speaker 1: thing is I Why I noticed sometimes is when you
Speaker 1: get famous, is that people will come up to you
Speaker 1: and say, I don't know who you are, and I'm like.
Speaker 2: Why the fuck are you coming to talk to me?
Speaker 1: Then I don't walk up to people I don't know
Speaker 1: and tell them I don't.
Speaker 2: Know who they are. That's most people.
Speaker 1: I'd be there all day and anyway, if you didn't
Speaker 1: know who I was, then.
Speaker 3: Why the fuck are you coming up and talking to me?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think it's a it's kind of a
Speaker 1: power thing. It's like reclaiming the equilibrium, you know, to
Speaker 1: say to a famous person, I don't know who you are,
Speaker 1: so that you're not better than me, we're not starting
Speaker 1: off there. And I think what helped me with that
Speaker 1: is that I met so many famous people that I
Speaker 1: admired and stuff when I was doing Late Night that
Speaker 1: I kind of forgot. I forgot about them being famous,
Speaker 1: and it was just like what I did do. One says,
Speaker 1: do you ever watch Game of Thrones?
Speaker 2: All Right?
Speaker 1: So in Game of Thrones there was a guy who
Speaker 1: played Jamie Lanister, super handsome actor and like really good actor,
Speaker 1: and at Comic Con I was introduced in the Game
Speaker 1: of Thrones people. It was a big thing and all that,
Speaker 1: and we were backstage. I had never met this guy
Speaker 1: in my life, but I had forgotten. I hugged him
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. Anyway,
Speaker 1: he went, it's Harry. Actually happens more than you people.
Speaker 3: Just because they feel like they know that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I also, he's so handsome, you want to h Oh
Speaker 1: my god, he was too handsome. I was like, I
Speaker 1: gotta hug it. You're so handsome, but I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't hug everybody who's handsome. But it just it only
Speaker 1: happened once, and he was nice about it.
Speaker 3: I've bugged a few handsome people.
Speaker 1: Well, I fugged a few handsome pieces of myself too,
Speaker 1: but usually it's not the first thing I did. Yes,
Speaker 1: So do you get intimidated by? Who would you get
Speaker 1: intimidated by? If you were like working in a club
Speaker 1: and there was a drop in a comedian coming in?
Speaker 1: Who who would be like you'd be like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I don't want to go on after that.
Speaker 2: That'd be too much.
Speaker 3: It's weird. I don't know. Let me think. I feel
Speaker 3: like Nicki.
Speaker 4: Glazer is that I really really She's actually the first
Speaker 4: comedian I saw live.
Speaker 2: I know Nicky very well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, she's she's really great. Yeah that's good. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm glad to hear you say that. I used to
Speaker 1: worry about Nikki when she was younger in her career
Speaker 1: because she would be so brutally honest about things.
Speaker 2: I'd be like, Ni, you don't tell me that.
Speaker 3: I love that though. That's like, course, that's what I
Speaker 3: believe in. It is always just like, that's what I
Speaker 3: feel like.
Speaker 4: If you can just be like completely fearless and like
Speaker 4: not give a truly not give a fuck, that's when
Speaker 4: you can really be yourself and accept that people might
Speaker 4: actually love.
Speaker 3: You for you.
Speaker 2: They might but they might not.
Speaker 3: But if they don't, then welcome.
Speaker 2: Well it is.
Speaker 1: True you're not going to make everyone happy, but that
Speaker 1: I remember that with nick Do you remember to Mass
Speaker 1: when NICKI used to come in the and we would
Speaker 1: always say, like, Nikki, you're saying you're saying things people
Speaker 1: are knowing too much about me, and she's like, I
Speaker 1: don't give So I'm very excited to hear you say
Speaker 1: that because I've always really liked her and she's doing
Speaker 1: really well now as well.
Speaker 4: Yes, I had this moment one time where like, so
Speaker 4: I messaged her in twenty seventeen being like I love you,
Speaker 4: and then I just remember when she talked about me
Speaker 4: on her podcast briefly something about tattoos, like a year ago,
Speaker 4: and I.
Speaker 3: Was like, this is a full circle moment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great. You've got a lot of tattoos. When
Speaker 1: did you start getting inked?
Speaker 4: I actually used to tattoo myself when I was like
Speaker 4: in high school, with like a little needle and pencil
Speaker 4: and okay stuff, and then I got a real one
Speaker 4: when I was eighteen.
Speaker 2: Uh wait, you tattooed yourself? Yeah? What did your parents
Speaker 2: make of this?
Speaker 3: Well, my parents didn't know this.
Speaker 2: So where did you tattoo yourself?
Speaker 3: Like my feet?
Speaker 2: Okay, I guess they're still there.
Speaker 3: They are unfortunate.
Speaker 2: What are they? What did you tattoo yourself with? Left
Speaker 2: and right?
Speaker 3: So no, it would be helpful.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: No, I My best friend and I we tattooed each
Speaker 4: other's initials to each other. Okay, we don't talk anymore
Speaker 4: really unfortunately.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you know what, I love that about tattoos.
Speaker 2: I always loved it.
Speaker 1: You know, Johnny Depp tattooed when he had Winona forever
Speaker 1: and they broke up and he's just got whit know forever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it changed. I was like, yeah, let's go. I guess.
Speaker 1: But I think part of the deal with having tattoos
Speaker 1: you were fascinated by.
Speaker 3: Young then yeah, yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1: Why everyone's a little different with tattoos, So I'm kind
Speaker 1: of intrigued.
Speaker 4: I don't know, it's so weird. There's a few elements
Speaker 4: of it. I just feel like it. It just like
Speaker 4: made me feel like me like I really liked that
Speaker 4: form of self expression. And I mean I think when
Speaker 4: I was younger, it made me feel it like a
Speaker 4: rebel kind of doing it myself.
Speaker 2: It has got a little bit of that about it.
Speaker 3: Especially like being in my room secretly doing it.
Speaker 4: And I think as I got older, I think it
Speaker 4: it felt like a form of self expression. I really
Speaker 4: always felt like I never fit in and I just
Speaker 4: felt like tattoos were like my external expression of that.
Speaker 1: I think it's a way of Billy Connolly, who's my
Speaker 1: Nicky Glazer, told a great story when he turned fifty,
Speaker 1: which is a long time ago. When he turned fifty,
Speaker 1: he got his nipples pears, right. Yeah, I mean he's
Speaker 1: got a couple of tattoos as well. He is Nepple
Speaker 1: spears in a tattoo parlor and when the guy did it,
Speaker 1: at first when he said it was excrutionally painful, but
Speaker 1: when he got it, the guy said, the guy who
Speaker 1: did it said, well, that's one less of them, one
Speaker 1: more of us.
Speaker 2: I was like, that's kind of what it feels like.
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean? It's like you kind
Speaker 2: of move into a different area.
Speaker 1: It's not like I feel inn affinity with everyone who
Speaker 1: had tattoos. I don't, you know, but it does feel
Speaker 1: more like I know what you mean when you say
Speaker 1: more like me, Like when I see still see parts
Speaker 1: of my body that don't have tattoos on them, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, that doesn't look right.
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 4: One thing that I told my therapist, and we're going
Speaker 4: to go back to this link to tattoos is so like,
Speaker 4: you know, being online, you get a million negative comments, right,
Speaker 4: And one comment that I get consistently is like how
Speaker 4: much people hate my tattoos. But that's never one's face me.
Speaker 4: It's never once maybe'd be like, oh do these suck?
Speaker 4: And I feel like I want I said this to
Speaker 4: my therapist recently, I was like, I want to feel
Speaker 4: that confident about every other element in my life. Of right,
Speaker 4: people say shitty things about me, and I want to
Speaker 4: feel the same way as when they're like, your tattoo
Speaker 4: suck and it just doesn't FaZe me.
Speaker 2: This is interesting to me because the comments.
Speaker 1: Thing is I think of the internet this is generational,
Speaker 1: I'm sure, but I think of the Internet as kind
Speaker 1: of like the audience, Like, so, why would I pay
Speaker 1: attention to one fucking heckler? I'm busy, fucking busy, and
Speaker 1: I'm not talking to you, so get out. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: looking at the comments, I feel as like, you know,
Speaker 1: we're talking earlier about inviting crowd work, I'm like, why
Speaker 1: would I invite you into my fucking life? You know,
Speaker 1: It's different if you're at a show and you're talking
Speaker 1: to someone afterwards, or you're talking to someone who likes
Speaker 1: your work or what's to talk to you about your work.
Speaker 1: That's that's fine and cool and you should do that
Speaker 1: and it's polite and nice and fun. But to invite,
Speaker 1: you know, judgment from strangers, I don't know, Like because
Speaker 1: my kids do that too. They look at the comments sex.
Speaker 3: I'm like the masochistic tendency.
Speaker 1: I think it is a little bit. It's like narcissism
Speaker 1: and reverse. It's like, at least we are talking about me, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, like, well, let's maybe not talk about you. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Do you pour over the comments a little bit? Or
Speaker 2: do you.
Speaker 1: Try and protect yourself from them because you said, like
Speaker 1: people say negative stuff about your tattoo.
Speaker 4: I definitely will pour over a lot. Like there's certain
Speaker 4: I feel like it depends on the app. Like certain
Speaker 4: apps I just won't even look at the comments, but
Speaker 4: certain apps like I use more, I'll like look at
Speaker 4: the comments a little bit, but I definitely watch. I
Speaker 4: feel like Instagram, it's more like sometimes people will like
Speaker 4: comics communicate on there, like I'll book people on my
Speaker 4: show through that.
Speaker 3: Sometimes a little more collegiate.
Speaker 4: It feels more like I'm talking to my peers sometimes,
Speaker 4: So sometimes I will look at the comments my peers
Speaker 4: will comment on things versus like Facebook, YouTube, TikTok.
Speaker 3: I don't really look at the comments.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: It's funny because I think maybe it's a vestige because
Speaker 1: I think I was like maybe one of the last
Speaker 1: people who really worked in broadcast television before it all
Speaker 1: kind of collapsed and became something else. And people used
Speaker 1: to write letters before it was like or they would
Speaker 1: call up the switchboard to complain about things. So I'd
Speaker 1: go out and I do I don't know Bill Clinton impersonation,
Speaker 1: and like fifty people would call up and say, we
Speaker 1: hate that you did that resident They no one ever,
Speaker 1: very few people ever called to say that was great.
Speaker 2: I loved it because nobody does that.
Speaker 1: You know, say, let me call the TV station because
Speaker 1: I really like that guy.
Speaker 3: You know, they watch it, they buy the product advertised.
Speaker 2: That's all I asked.
Speaker 1: But when people would call up and I would get
Speaker 1: concerned about it, and I would talk to the particularly
Speaker 1: the producer I had who who was a genius and
Speaker 1: was kind of a legend in late night television, and.
Speaker 2: He would say, fuck them, why would you care? Why
Speaker 2: would you why would you care?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And I kind of that seeped in to me, and
Speaker 1: now I'm like, people like you suck and I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't fucking care what you think.
Speaker 2: Why would I care what you think?
Speaker 1: But it But I think the social aspect of social media,
Speaker 1: it's kind of the crowd work. Thank you, you're inviting
Speaker 1: the man that's true. Has there ever been a point
Speaker 1: where you think it's affected.
Speaker 4: Your work, Yes, I definitely. I definitely used to do
Speaker 4: like a little bit more crowd work. I felt like
Speaker 4: I got in my head about doing CrowdWork because I
Speaker 4: do feel like I'm I'm good at it when I'm
Speaker 4: like present, and then I kind of got in my
Speaker 4: head about it and I was like, I need to
Speaker 4: be so I wanted to be so strict.
Speaker 3: On just having material because of that.
Speaker 4: Then I went on the road and I was like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, I'm just doing material, and I feel
Speaker 4: like some people actually do want to see my crowd work, right,
Speaker 4: And so then I went into just trying to like
Speaker 4: do like nice fair mix of both. But I feel
Speaker 4: like that got into my head a little bit.
Speaker 1: At a point I think that that that's understandable. There
Speaker 1: is a you know, the actress it's a lamper. It's
Speaker 1: a lamper is like a stage ledge. Great actress in
Speaker 1: the musical theory world actually worry about it. And Uta
Speaker 1: Lemper said something about performance, which I think is so
Speaker 1: perfect for stand up that I always kind of quote it,
Speaker 1: which is your job is to create the illusion of spontaneity.
Speaker 1: And I'm like yeah, Like you don't go and see
Speaker 1: a magician and say you just you just practice that
Speaker 1: in your room and then did it.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Good.
Speaker 1: You go and you ask for a little bit of
Speaker 1: suspension of disbelief from the audience and you perform. And
Speaker 1: I think sometimes particularly rookies or people who shouldn't really
Speaker 1: be stand ups, but it's kind of like a job now,
Speaker 1: they go out and they think that it's not performance.
Speaker 1: It's just like being cool and saying things and going, no, motherfucker,
Speaker 1: it's performing.
Speaker 2: It's as legit as everything else.
Speaker 1: It's like being an actor or being a sportsman even
Speaker 1: or women or being h you know, any kind of
Speaker 1: performance are. It's an odd one though, because the whole
Speaker 1: idea is if they can see how you're doing it,
Speaker 1: you're not doing it right.
Speaker 4: See that's I heard this once. It's an invisible art.
Speaker 4: Like if you're doing a good job, it looks easy.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And not only does it look easy, it shouldn't look
Speaker 1: like you're doing anything. Yeah, it should look like he
Speaker 1: just came on and started talking.
Speaker 2: To us exactly.
Speaker 3: That's like I could do that.
Speaker 4: It's like no, that's because it's if someone's bombing, then
Speaker 4: you're like.
Speaker 2: Oh it looks bad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right, but you only notice it when it's shit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: which is fucking terrifying because I say, oh, I saw
Speaker 1: you do that show.
Speaker 2: You looked a little nervous. I'm like, ah, God, what's
Speaker 2: the suck? What do you say?
Speaker 1: Because I think with comedians that, like you're married to
Speaker 1: a comedian, Comedians kind of are a little more friendly
Speaker 1: with each other than were when I was starting. When
Speaker 1: I was starting out, there was kind of like lone
Speaker 1: wolf situation, like, yeah, nobody was.
Speaker 2: Really or maybe it's just me, it's like that.
Speaker 1: I don't know, But now it seems like people are
Speaker 1: a little friendlier with each other.
Speaker 2: Yeah, is that? Have you ever know? Is that not true?
Speaker 4: I hate people, especially I mean I don't mean to
Speaker 4: be rude here, but it is rudes.
Speaker 3: You like, medians are terrible people.
Speaker 2: Are but you're married to one.
Speaker 3: That's the thing is I just feel like he's a
Speaker 3: particular he's.
Speaker 4: A good I do feel like he's a good person.
Speaker 4: But I really like one thing I talk about a
Speaker 4: lot is I just don't feel like I have any friends.
Speaker 4: I don't have, and it's a form of like protecting myself.
Speaker 4: Sometimes I joke about it so much on stage. Audience
Speaker 4: members will come up to me and be.
Speaker 2: Like, do you need a friend? You need a friend?
Speaker 1: Like you definitely don't need anyone to your friend who
Speaker 1: says do you.
Speaker 2: Need a friend?
Speaker 4: But I definitely keep It's something I've learned to keep
Speaker 4: an arm's length from most comedians.
Speaker 2: Okay, why competitiveness.
Speaker 4: No, I mean, I'm like friendly with them, they'll be
Speaker 4: like my acquaintances, but I just I don't. I just
Speaker 4: feel like everyone's out for themselves and I don't know.
Speaker 4: I don't know why. I just don't trust people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good, it's going to work for you in
Speaker 1: show business, I think. No, I'm fucking one percent serious.
Speaker 1: I'm very careful about Like when I was doing that
Speaker 1: late night show every fucking night, Yeah, every fucking night
Speaker 1: for ten years. We shot the show between five and
Speaker 1: six o'clock. By six thirty, every fucking night, I was
Speaker 1: home Bathe mckead's putting them to bed, having dinner. Yeah,
Speaker 1: every fucking night. I wouldn't go to anything. I didn't
Speaker 1: go into anything, Like even if I was in a movie,
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 2: Like, I don't want to go a fucking premier.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 4: I don't want to hang like, that's not what I'm for.
Speaker 4: I'm also like, I'm not here to impress other comedians.
Speaker 4: I'm here to build a connection with the audience and
Speaker 4: the people in the room. I'm not here because I
Speaker 4: want this random comic to like me, because the way
Speaker 4: they feel about me has nothing to do with me.
Speaker 3: It has everything to do with them.
Speaker 1: But what if you really admire the comic and you
Speaker 1: will you want like you don't want NICKI glazy.
Speaker 2: I go to be fair.
Speaker 4: All the comics I admire I've never met and don't know,
Speaker 4: and that's probably why I admire them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that there's something in that you never
Speaker 1: met a tell I.
Speaker 3: Mean, I've met him, but I've never had like he
Speaker 3: wanted to see.
Speaker 2: He's nice, It's like he's pretty.
Speaker 4: I feel pretty jaded about like comedians and their narcissism.
Speaker 1: Well, it's it has a kind of an element of that.
Speaker 1: I guess it's a kind of part of it. But
Speaker 1: by the very nature of being one yourself, you kind
Speaker 1: of yeah, I mean I suck too well, you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just kind of you don't need to
Speaker 1: beat yourself up for being what you are.
Speaker 2: It's just you're a little bit different.
Speaker 1: Like if you say, you know, I never felt like
Speaker 1: I fit that was you weren't wrong. You fucking didn't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know you didn't fit in. Yeah, but now you
Speaker 1: kind of do a little more because you find well, look,
Speaker 1: you at least find one person you fit in with, right,
Speaker 1: and you fit in in a world where you know,
Speaker 1: somebody comes to me and says, we like this this girl.
Speaker 1: Look at her stand up, and I look at it. Go,
Speaker 1: that's an interesting comic. Let me talk to her. That's
Speaker 1: something that is going to happen to you. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: then you're gonna be asked to fit in, and you
Speaker 1: will fit in a little bit. But I don't think
Speaker 1: that talk to you. I feel like I'm talking to
Speaker 1: myself a little bit. I don't think you're ever gonna
Speaker 1: feel like you fit in, right, because when I was
Speaker 1: doing Late Night, there's only like five people that do that.
Speaker 1: I think in the history of television, maybe ten fifteen,
Speaker 1: mostly men that have done it. I didn't hang with
Speaker 1: any I'm Dave, and I weren't in the fucking hot tub.
Speaker 1: I mean I hang with Jay a little bit sometimes.
Speaker 2: But it's weird but it's not like that. It's like,
Speaker 2: you know, actors go on like trips together and stuff,
Speaker 2: and you.
Speaker 4: Know, because that's like a collaborative process. I feel like
Speaker 4: there's this misconception that like your peer succeeding is going
Speaker 4: to take away from you succeeding, and that's not the case.
Speaker 4: Would stand up, but I do feel like people act
Speaker 4: that way.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 1: I think it feels like that, you know, gor Vidal said,
Speaker 1: it's not enough that I succeed, it's also that my
Speaker 1: friends have to fail.
Speaker 2: But gore Vidal was awesome. Actually I did.
Speaker 1: Meet my man once, but it was he was very,
Speaker 1: very old at the end, at the end of his life.
Speaker 1: Most if you're lucky, you are old at the end
Speaker 1: of your life. But I think that the idea of
Speaker 1: being friendly with groups of people I don't really get.
Speaker 1: I have a small group of people. I tour to
Speaker 1: mas and I tour and that's it. We have a
Speaker 1: truck and the merch from the trucks in the back,
Speaker 1: and we hire people to sell the merch when we
Speaker 1: get to the gig, and that's it.
Speaker 2: It's just big gigs. But I'm like, and then when
Speaker 2: we turn up the they're like what this is? Fucking it?
Speaker 2: I'm like, ah, this is it means.
Speaker 1: To mass Yeah, and if I could persuade him to
Speaker 1: do it ten minutes, but he won't do that.
Speaker 2: He's a tour manager. He's not interesting.
Speaker 4: I feel like I was just a little too cynical
Speaker 4: about comedians in the SAYSM.
Speaker 1: I think is an essential component of a comedic mind, though,
Speaker 1: isn't it? You have to It's almost like being a scientist.
Speaker 1: Like if someone presents what they see as an obvious truth,
Speaker 1: your job is someone who watched in humor it is to.
Speaker 2: Go, is that an obvious truth?
Speaker 1: Let me come at that from a different angle and
Speaker 1: see if it is, or or fuck around with it
Speaker 1: a little bit. I have this thing right now. I
Speaker 1: started this about three or four years ago. When I'm
Speaker 1: doing stand up, I never talk about politics.
Speaker 2: Never do you do that? No, No, you don't do politics,
Speaker 2: So you do.
Speaker 3: I don't do politics.
Speaker 2: That's interesting.
Speaker 1: I wonder if that's if more and more people are
Speaker 1: doing that, because it feels like it feels like it
Speaker 1: separates you from the audience a little bit. Maybe because
Speaker 1: the country is separated a little divided right now. People
Speaker 1: are a little Maine you'se always been that way. I
Speaker 1: think it always has. So what did you study when
Speaker 1: you were at university? Did you go to university?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I studied environmental science with a focus on agriculture.
Speaker 2: Right, okay, Because you wanted to be get a gorilla
Speaker 2: to help you.
Speaker 3: Start farm, I just wanted to start.
Speaker 2: Is your husband fairy hairy?
Speaker 3: No, he's not.
Speaker 2: Okay, I just wondered if he was.
Speaker 1: Doesn't look like doesn't look like a gorilla? Okay, I
Speaker 1: just wondered. I just wondered if it was a gorilla
Speaker 1: was a theme.
Speaker 4: But he does love animals and that was important to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, who doesn't like a lot of people? Oh? Stopo? Everybody? People?
Speaker 2: Bad people? Yeah, but most people like like their dog.
Speaker 2: Do you have animals? You have a dog?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay? Is your dog fairy hair? Just look like a gorilla?
Speaker 3: He doesn't look like what does he look like?
Speaker 1: He's a little black dog, little black dog with is
Speaker 1: he a terrier?
Speaker 4: He looks like a bigger version of a menpen but
Speaker 4: not a Doverman.
Speaker 2: What's an like?
Speaker 3: Is a mini Doberman?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: But he looks like a mini Doberman?
Speaker 2: All right? So is he a little person? Though, you
Speaker 2: know he like I guess, so do you dress him
Speaker 2: up a little some fun do?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I was joking and then I saw
Speaker 1: your fad with you dress up lev Fision, You fucking
Speaker 1: do dress.
Speaker 3: The world like my dog my everything.
Speaker 2: What do you make your dog wear?
Speaker 4: Just occasionally wear a whole like a little bow tie,
Speaker 4: little T shirt, a little something.
Speaker 3: All right, that's fighting.
Speaker 2: There's a dog. Have any feelings about this?
Speaker 4: I mean, he's he doesn't care because me and him,
Speaker 4: it's me and him against the world.
Speaker 3: He doesn't care.
Speaker 1: So if he's wearing a little pair of spangly pants, he's.
Speaker 2: Like, this is fine.
Speaker 3: As long as I'm with Natalie, I'm good, he said.
Speaker 3: As long as I get some peanut butter. I don't
Speaker 3: give a fuck.
Speaker 1: Wait, you give your dog peanut butter? Yeah, but that's
Speaker 1: that's that makes them go do that licky.
Speaker 2: Thing. Yeah? Oh you like that.
Speaker 3: He's an occupied Yeah, I guess you can.
Speaker 1: Get a ball and throw it for him or something
Speaker 1: to give him peanut bar and the teacher him to
Speaker 1: use an iPad. So are you, like, are you like
Speaker 1: an animal person that you like? You know, you're like
Speaker 1: an animal activist.
Speaker 4: I'm not an animal activist. I eat them, although I feel.
Speaker 3: Bad about it.
Speaker 1: Would you eat your dog if, oh my god, no,
Speaker 1: it's your starvist. I would It was like the zombie
Speaker 1: apocalypse and it was just you and your dog.
Speaker 4: I would come to terms with my deep existential crisis
Speaker 4: and I would let my dog eat my finger.
Speaker 1: What you could have cut off two fingers and you
Speaker 1: won each and then you could eat them together. I
Speaker 1: saw an interview with Stephen King once and he said,
Speaker 1: I don't know if he ever wrote this story, but
Speaker 1: it was so awesome. He said his next door neighbor
Speaker 1: was a doctor and he kept asking weird questions, but
Speaker 1: he was kind of used to because he wants he
Speaker 1: wants to.
Speaker 2: Write a story. He said.
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask him how much it was possible
Speaker 1: of a human being to eat of their own body
Speaker 1: before they died. He had an idea for a story
Speaker 1: that someone was washed up in a desert island and
Speaker 1: there was fresh running water but no food, and eventually
Speaker 1: they had to chop off and eat bits of their
Speaker 1: own body.
Speaker 2: And how far a person could go doing that? Wow?
Speaker 1: Yeah, how far do you think that would be? It'll
Speaker 1: be done at one arm. I guess wouldn't it?
Speaker 3: Uh? I guess?
Speaker 4: I mean I feel like that, like maybe if you're
Speaker 4: like drunk or something that sounds like I really.
Speaker 2: Can get drunk though there's there's only running water.
Speaker 1: There's only running water and a sharp knife, maybe a.
Speaker 2: Microwave ove it?
Speaker 3: Could you perment your own blood?
Speaker 1: Wow, it's really important for you to get drunk. Care
Speaker 1: I guess.
Speaker 3: I know it's not important for me to get drunk.
Speaker 4: I just having consciousness while trying to eat my own
Speaker 4: body is kind of tough.
Speaker 1: Right, But if like if you saw it to eater
Speaker 1: or something, or you know, diced it into some kind
Speaker 1: of freak as.
Speaker 2: Say, it might work. Maybe do you eat meat? Right?
Speaker 3: I do?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: I go in and out of eating meat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't eat meat for like four and a
Speaker 2: half five years? Was it?
Speaker 3: Why did you stop eating meat?
Speaker 1: I saw a fucking documentary on Netflix forks over Night.
Speaker 3: Yeah it's a good one.
Speaker 2: Oh it's a great one. And I was like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, what am I doing?
Speaker 4: It's we have to suspend so much disbelief to eat meat.
Speaker 4: The only thing that's making me feel okay about eating
Speaker 4: meat is like my dog eats meat. So you know, yeah,
Speaker 4: that is part of the circle of life. Yeah, but
Speaker 4: I still feel really guilty about eating meat.
Speaker 2: Well have you tried nought eating meat? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I go through faces.
Speaker 2: Yeah I do too, I kind of.
Speaker 1: I was vegan for a long time and then during
Speaker 1: the lockdown, I was in Scotland. My wife and kids
Speaker 1: are not They weren't interested in vegetarianism in any way.
Speaker 1: And I my wife made a roast beam. It smelled
Speaker 1: so good. I said, what would happen if I ate
Speaker 1: some of that? She went, just have a little bit.
Speaker 2: I was like, all right. We were all sitting around
Speaker 2: the table and the kids have watched me and stuff.
Speaker 1: I just took a little bit and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I went crazy. They said the color
Speaker 1: came back in at me.
Speaker 3: You know that stuff chicken is delicious.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 2: It is gross to look at though. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have chickens, like live chickens. Oh, I don't have
Speaker 1: them with me. They live at my house. Live chickens
Speaker 1: don't eat them, but I eat their eggs, eggs, eat
Speaker 1: their eggs. The eggs are okay because they won't have
Speaker 1: a rooster, so like the eggs would just like drop out.
Speaker 2: And like nothing. But happen.
Speaker 4: There's an amazing book called Eating Animals by Jonathan Saffron Foyer,
Speaker 4: and it's basically every single argument for being a vegetarian,
Speaker 4: and it does make you feel bad even about eating
Speaker 4: the eggs.
Speaker 1: Well, why is like, I get the health implications about
Speaker 1: eating eggs that is bad for particularly man, I think
Speaker 1: it's bad to eat eggs. It's bad for your prostate
Speaker 1: and stuff.
Speaker 3: But I eat a lot of eggs. But it's essentially,
Speaker 3: you have a prostate.
Speaker 1: You can let the dream, you can ome let your
Speaker 1: way into fucking glory. You could have scrambled eggs every
Speaker 1: day in your prostate would never be bothered because you
Speaker 1: don't have a prostate.
Speaker 4: That's true. Yeah, I've had cholesterol.
Speaker 1: Though, Oh well, then you better lay off the fucking
Speaker 1: eggs because is that what it says in the in
Speaker 1: the thing.
Speaker 4: No, basically says like the hormones that well, a lot
Speaker 4: of times the factory farming, they're injected with more hormones
Speaker 4: that makes them produce eggs more often. So they're just
Speaker 4: like constantly producing eggs, which is really for that.
Speaker 3: Let me, I know you don't do that.
Speaker 2: I don't eat that shit. Yeah, I don't eat that shit.
Speaker 1: Ever, I don't eat stuff that's factory and farming are
Speaker 1: two words that shouldn't be together.
Speaker 2: Like, I don't fucking touch that.
Speaker 1: If I eat an egg, I know where it came from,
Speaker 1: Like I saw where it dropped out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's fine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I don't feed my chickens hormones.
Speaker 1: I do wrestle with this though. Sometimes the leftovers, I'm like,
Speaker 1: can we put egg in the leftovers? Well, the chickens
Speaker 1: eat the egg, It's like they will eat it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it feels like it feels wrong.
Speaker 2: It feels a little weird.
Speaker 4: I know sometimes I feel weird when I'm eating chicken
Speaker 4: and egg because I'm eating the mother baby.
Speaker 2: You can't do that. Yeah, you can't do that. That's
Speaker 2: like it's it's some kind of reach around. I think
Speaker 2: it's just like, you can't do that.
Speaker 1: That's what the Paul Simon song The Mother and Child
Speaker 1: Reunion is about.
Speaker 3: No, yeah, apparently.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it just kind of gross and ruins that song.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: All right, Well we were at time.
Speaker 1: So to conclude, Okay, you're seven years in. Okay, you're
Speaker 1: an interesting comic. I had a lot of tattoos. All right,
Speaker 1: you're weird. You feel like you don't fit in. You're
Speaker 1: gonna be fine, all right? I think I think you're
Speaker 1: gonna be fine. Do you have a motorcycle?
Speaker 2: No? Good?
Speaker 1: I feel like you look like you might have had
Speaker 1: one or be thinking about getting one.
Speaker 4: I used to be a bit embedded in the motorcycle world,
Speaker 4: but I've I'm no longer.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Did you have an accident?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: No, see I had mostly on that really. Yeah. No,
Speaker 2: I don't want to do this again. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It is scary, it's horrible. It's horrible. I still feel
Speaker 1: it every day. It was twenty years ago.
Speaker 3: That's horrible.
Speaker 2: It is. But what are you gonna do it? Okay?
Speaker 2: I'm not okay.
Speaker 1: I'm a long fucking way from okay, but I'm functioning. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think it's okay to.
Speaker 2: Not be okay.
Speaker 3: That's true.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's maybe good for mental health. And I say,
Speaker 1: you know what, it's okay to not be okay.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm just gonna leave here being like, Wow, he
Speaker 4: told me it's paid enough be okay.
Speaker 3: You must have really think I'm not okay?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I'm I was committed. I wasn't talking
Speaker 2: about you at all. I was just talking about me
Speaker 2: all right, get out of here.