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Speaker 1: It's a fresh show. It's Kiki's court rise. The honorable

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Speaker 1: judge kikys here take it away.

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Speaker 2: Please all right, let's step into the courtroom. The gavel

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Speaker 2: has been hit, it says Kiki. My name is Casey.

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Speaker 2: I went through a horrible divorce with my ex of

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Speaker 2: nine years. I caught him in our home with our nanny.

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Speaker 2: He later divorced me for the nanny and rolled off

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Speaker 2: into the sunset, leaving me to raise our kids alone.

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Speaker 2: Since I break up, he's become more of a FaceTime

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Speaker 2: father instead of a hands on dad that he used

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Speaker 2: to be. He left me with basically no money, and

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Speaker 2: I had to work extremely hard to rebuild my life

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Speaker 2: for myself and my kids. Now, three months ago, he

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Speaker 2: found out that he's sick and he was forced to

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Speaker 2: leave his job. He began chemo treatments, but shortly after

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Speaker 2: his diagnosis, his little miss nanny packed up her bags

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Speaker 2: and left him.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, yeah, so I got a text. I got

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Speaker 1: a text.

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Speaker 2: From my ex last week asking me if he can

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Speaker 2: move back in with me and the kids until he's

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Speaker 2: done with his chemo treatment and he is back on

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Speaker 2: his feet. He's drowning in medical bills and has no

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Speaker 2: one to support him. He said he just wants to

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Speaker 2: be near his kids during this time. To be honest, Kikey,

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Speaker 2: I don't want him anywhere near me. I've worked too

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Speaker 2: hard to heal and I'm in a new healthy relationship.

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Speaker 1: But I do feel bad for my kids. What should

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Speaker 1: I do? What do you think?

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Speaker 2: Well, I've thought about this case all weekend. Okay, I'm

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Speaker 2: at La Llapaloo's. I'm like, it's Casey gonna do it

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Speaker 2: because my heart right, Like I'm a punk, I'm a

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Speaker 2: sucker sometimes, and I will would allow this man back

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Speaker 2: in my life for my kids because and she said, chemo,

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Speaker 2: so you just never know what he's dealing with. I

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Speaker 2: would have let him back in, But after much consideration

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Speaker 2: and thought, I think she should not let him back

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Speaker 2: in the house. I think you make choices in life,

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Speaker 2: and sometimes you have consequences as a repercussion of your decisions.

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Speaker 2: He made his decision, he made his bed. He needs

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Speaker 2: to lie in it now, and I don't think it's

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Speaker 2: on her to interrupt her life and her healing and

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Speaker 2: her new relationship by allowing him back into the home.

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Speaker 1: You guys are the jury eight five nine, one three five,

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Speaker 1: you can call him text the same number. See, because

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Speaker 1: here's the thing. Of course, my initial reaction, Kiki, is

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Speaker 1: to say, no, you know, you don't get to come back.

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Speaker 1: You betrayed this family. You're not a contributing member of

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Speaker 1: this family. And frankly, maybe the only reason that you're

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Speaker 1: looking for a place to go is because the girl

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Speaker 1: who you cheated on me with left you. Right where

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Speaker 1: were you before? Where were you trying to make a

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Speaker 1: contribution before? You weren't? Now you're doing it because you're

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Speaker 1: lonely and scared. Yes. On the flip side, that is

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Speaker 1: the father of your children, And so it's like, do

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Speaker 1: you do you show grace simply because that is what's

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Speaker 1: best for the kids. But I don't even know if

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Speaker 1: that's what's best for the kids because it doesn't even

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Speaker 1: sound like he's a very active father, right, So, like

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Speaker 1: that's a really hard one because you know, maybe he

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Speaker 1: wants redemption and maybe maybe maybe this is his chance to,

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Speaker 1: you know, at the end, do the right thing, But like,

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Speaker 1: should you have to take that risk emotionally considering what

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Speaker 1: you've had to battle to get through it?

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Speaker 2: Exactly? And this is the mess that he created, This

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Speaker 2: is the life. He chose yes, so I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Yes, ravel I would allow him to have the kids

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Speaker 3: back in his life, but not at not bringing him

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Speaker 3: into the house, you know what I'm saying, Like, if

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Speaker 3: he wants to be if he wants his kids around,

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Speaker 3: he could go to his parents' house where his parents at.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, live with your parents. The

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Speaker 1: kids could go over there.

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Speaker 3: But you ain't coming into my house after all that

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Speaker 3: stuff you did and say, oh, but it's it's for

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Speaker 3: the kids, right.

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Speaker 1: Kids could be in.

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Speaker 3: Your life somewhere else, not here at my house. You

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Speaker 3: ain't moving in back with me.

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Speaker 1: It is interesting that he now wants back in now

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Speaker 1: that he has no he'sically no one else in his life. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's managed to alienate himself from everyone in favor of

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Speaker 1: this woman who didn't stand by him, and so now

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Speaker 1: he wants back in. But again, you know, I always

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Speaker 1: I respect so much the parents who are able to

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Speaker 1: put their parenting above their adult issues, but sometimes that's

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Speaker 1: just not possible. And by the way, that tends to

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Speaker 1: be the case when the parents are still doing their

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Speaker 1: job as parents, right, Like, if you still want to

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Speaker 1: parent your kids and be a great parent, But you

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Speaker 1: screwed over your partner, that's one thing. And I can't

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Speaker 1: imagine how hard it would be to rise above that.

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Speaker 1: But I know people to do it because it's best

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Speaker 1: for the kids, right right, Because that was an adult

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Speaker 1: fracture and it didn't have anything to new with the children.

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Speaker 1: This dude wasn't even doing that though. No, he wasn't

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Speaker 1: even active with his kids. Now all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: he wants all of it because he's got nowhere to go.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know. I guess I'm inclined to say

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Speaker 1: no FaceTime dad, right? Is that what you said? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, she said he turned into a FaceTime that's terrible.

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Speaker 4: And somebody shows you who they are. I'm sorry, you

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Speaker 4: have to believe them. And yes, I know people change,

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Speaker 4: I understand that, but it shouldn't take a chronic illness

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Speaker 4: or just something that you know could potentially end your

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Speaker 4: life for you to step up and be like, I

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Speaker 4: want to be a part of my kids lives again.

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Speaker 1: I want to be this again. Yeah, and Pauline, it

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Speaker 1: doesn't sound like he's like she's blocking access to the kids.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like he doesn't. He doesn't, he doesn't attempt

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Speaker 1: access to the kids. Right, So this isn't about whether

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Speaker 1: he can see the kids or not. It doesn't sound

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Speaker 1: like he was ever forbidden from that. But I agree

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Speaker 1: with rufiel I. I don't think that they need to

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Speaker 1: live together for this. That sounds like it benefited him

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Speaker 1: more than her. Hey, Tiffany, good morning, Good morning, Tiffany.

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Speaker 1: You just heard it Kiki's court. What do you think.

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Speaker 5: I think that it role models bad behavior to the

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Speaker 5: children to allow this man back into the house. Not

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Speaker 5: only did he leave, but he brought the nanny who

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Speaker 5: had so much support to these children out of these

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Speaker 5: children's flying.

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Speaker 1: That's true if you.

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Speaker 5: Turn around and then say, oh, because he's sick, everything's

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Speaker 5: magically better when these children grow up, or are they

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Speaker 5: going to think a partner can do whatever they want

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Speaker 5: and walk all over them, but when they're sick it's

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Speaker 5: magically better.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Tiffany, he put a lot of stuff ahead of

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Speaker 1: his family already. And it's not to say you can't

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Speaker 1: forgive someone, but how much forgiven to you offer in

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Speaker 1: favor of your peace of mind?

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Speaker 6: Right?

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Speaker 2: And then she's in a new relationship, how does her

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Speaker 2: partner feel about this?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, when he's going to move back in the house,

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Speaker 1: and she's trying to move on with her life based

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Speaker 1: on circumstances that that that more more than not he

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Speaker 1: presented exactly. I mean, look, people, you know fractures in

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Speaker 1: relationships are caused by both people. But it doesn't give

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Speaker 1: you the right to cheat. Doesn't give you a right

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Speaker 1: to cheat with the nanny. No, it doesn't give you

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Speaker 1: a right to ignore your children and family and your

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Speaker 1: obligations until you get sick and then now you need

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Speaker 1: them right and you.

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Speaker 5: Will be forced to participate as a caretaker. The children

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Speaker 5: will be forced to very outside of their world of

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Speaker 5: child the children.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree. Thank you, Tiffany, have a great day,

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Speaker 1: thanks for calling being part of the thirteen. Hey Lewis,

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Speaker 1: good morning, Welcome. How are you done, Lewis, you're going

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Speaker 1: through something like this, I'm sorry to hear it.

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Speaker 6: So my ex wife, she we went to a really

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Speaker 6: bad divorce, but I wanted up but so custody of

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Speaker 6: my son and I actually brought it back to for

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Speaker 6: child support in the midst of sport. She shows up

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Speaker 6: one day and I'm like, she's in a hospital and

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Speaker 6: why not say stage four cancer, she's now terminal. But

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Speaker 6: for the previous five years. She had no inclination to

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Speaker 6: be regular in her son's life. So a part of

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Speaker 6: me would like screw her, but then a part of

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Speaker 6: me said, okay, well it's still his mom. But at

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Speaker 6: the end of the day, I think it's really calmer,

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Speaker 6: Like you don't get to come along now that you're

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Speaker 6: sick and realize you messed up in life if you

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Speaker 6: weren't there for your children. You know, you made your choice.

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Speaker 6: Now you got to deal with it, whether you're dying

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Speaker 6: or not. I mean, I wish you the best, but

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Speaker 6: like now, I don't force my son to go see

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Speaker 6: his mother. If he wants to hear her, then yeah,

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Speaker 6: that's his choice. He's a little bit older now, but

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Speaker 6: it still affects him emotionally immensely. So the toilet takes

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Speaker 6: on your child is it's hard to watch them go

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Speaker 6: through that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm Lewis. I'm sorry you're going through it

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Speaker 1: and thanks for thanks for sharing. Lewis. See, the hard

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Speaker 1: part is like somehow the person who wants to do

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Speaker 1: right is the person who winds up feeling the most guilty. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not going like I'm being vague because it's

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Speaker 1: not really well for me to talk about. But I

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Speaker 1: can relate to this situation not romantically but familiar, familiarly

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Speaker 1: when someone's sort of an outcast and they earned it,

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Speaker 1: they earn they earned the right to be an outcast.

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Speaker 1: And then something happens and and what's interesting is instantly

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Speaker 1: I start to feel guilty, like, well, what would the

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Speaker 1: what's the right thing to do here? Well, the right

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Speaker 1: thing to do here I suppose based on you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't know general the general rule would be that

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Speaker 1: you you let all your stuff go to help the

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Speaker 1: person who's in need. But then, honestly, you have to

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Speaker 1: circle back and then say to yourself, did this person

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Speaker 1: make any effort when they were well? Nor did this

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Speaker 1: person contribute when they were well?

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Speaker 6: No?

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Speaker 1: And what is the cost to me? You know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, like, like, what did my relationship with this person

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Speaker 1: do to me? How hard have I had to work

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Speaker 1: to get past it? And why should I have to

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Speaker 1: give up on all that work to make sure that

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Speaker 1: you feel better? For what? For this? For this floating

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Speaker 1: concept of what's right right? You can try and try

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Speaker 1: and try, and you're gonna get the same results. At

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Speaker 1: what point do you just give up even when it's

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Speaker 1: a sad situation and not have to feel bad about it.

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Speaker 2: It has to be hard because you you think about

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Speaker 2: who this person was when they were on their feet,

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Speaker 2: when he was healthy, and he wasn't a great guy, right,

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Speaker 2: And so it's like, what if I sacrifice my new relationship,

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Speaker 2: my piece, my happiness and try to help help you

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Speaker 2: get through this, then you get back on your feet

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Speaker 2: and show my kids again that you don't love them

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Speaker 2: or you don't really support them.

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Speaker 7: You know.

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Speaker 1: It's like pie in the face twice.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, girl, you got to put yourself first.

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Speaker 2: And I know it's going to be hard, and God

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Speaker 2: for I hope he beats his situation.

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Speaker 1: No one wishing, yeah, you know.

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Speaker 8: But.

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Speaker 2: I would be like, now, this is the opportunity for

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Speaker 2: you to show that you are truly a changed person,

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Speaker 2: not when you're and it's your you know, yeah the bottom.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, go ahead.

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Speaker 4: I'm just more heated than I was five minutes ago,

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Speaker 4: because now that I think about it, he's looking for

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Speaker 4: a caregiver, which a lot of listeners have said too

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Speaker 4: as well.

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Speaker 1: But the's scared undred percent.

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Speaker 4: But didn't he break those vows like when he cheated,

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Speaker 4: and when he moved down, he did all of this. So,

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Speaker 4: like they say, what it well through sickness and through health, right, yeah,

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Speaker 4: I think that's what they say. I don't even know

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Speaker 4: what I'm here health and took to do not with him,

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Speaker 4: but has to my own volt. He broke his vowels

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Speaker 4: and he cheated, left his family. Now he wants his

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Speaker 4: family back, and he wants a caregiver. And it's typical

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Speaker 4: as women, we always have to be expected to care

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Speaker 4: for others. So I'm proud of her for standing her ground,

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Speaker 4: and I.

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Speaker 1: Hope she doesn't go back and let him in the house.

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Speaker 1: And I do think you have to People may disagree

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Speaker 1: with him, but I do think you have to ask

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Speaker 1: the question would he have done this otherwise? And based

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Speaker 1: on his previous behavior, The answer is no, no, Based

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Speaker 1: on his previous behavior, he would have put himself first,

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Speaker 1: and he still is in doing this. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this has nothing to do with her and nothing to

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Speaker 1: do with his kids. This has to do with his

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Speaker 1: fear and his regret and and and his selfishness. And

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Speaker 1: I know that's a horrible thing to say about somebody

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Speaker 1: who's sick, but I think that's your answer is, would

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Speaker 1: he have come to this conclusion short of it being

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Speaker 1: a very scary situation, and based on what you're telling me,

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Speaker 1: he never would have now.

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Speaker 2: And I think the nanny would have never left. She

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Speaker 2: was happy living a life with him. But the moment

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Speaker 2: he lost his job and he was down on his luck,

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Speaker 2: she got right up out of there. Yeah, and now

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Speaker 2: he's looking.

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Speaker 1: At well there you go. Yeah, so that he gave

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Speaker 1: it all up for her and that didn't work out. Angelica, Hi, Hi,

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Speaker 1: good morning guys. Hey, what do you want to say?

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Speaker 1: Good morning? Thanks for listening. By the way, of course,

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Speaker 1: I think.

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Speaker 7: You guys are all on the right track. I think

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Speaker 7: everyone's in agreement, and not to say because we're all

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Speaker 7: best people and we don't wish well on this guy

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Speaker 7: who's you know, doing horrible. But like going back to

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Speaker 7: the whole vows that you're married, they're divorced, and he's

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Speaker 7: no longer her obligation.

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Speaker 8: She's moved on. She's moved on. He's definitely made it

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Speaker 8: clear that he's moved on. And going back to what

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Speaker 8: Rufio said, I think the best case scenario would be

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Speaker 8: you know, fine, you don't I can't take care of you,

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Speaker 8: but I'll bring the kids to you wherever you may be.

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Speaker 1: But see again and kid. Yeah, and I'm sorrying to

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Speaker 1: rupt you, but like, based on the story that I

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Speaker 1: just heard the way that I understand it from Kiki,

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Speaker 1: she was never preventing him from seeing his kids. He

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Speaker 1: was choosing not to because he was absent and you know,

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Speaker 1: the best he could do is a FaceTime because he

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Speaker 1: was too busy with the nanny or whatever. He was

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Speaker 1: putting everybody else first. And so I agree with you,

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Speaker 1: But again, it's not as though she was saying, you

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Speaker 1: can't see the kids and now they now she can.

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Speaker 1: He was always open to see the kids. He just

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Speaker 1: didn't do it right.

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Speaker 8: And depending on how old the kids are, maybe give.

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Speaker 1: Them that option. Yeah, yeah, I mean yeah right, just

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Speaker 1: a song, just a song, but again, a very adult

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Speaker 1: thing to put on children. Hey, do you want to

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Speaker 1: see your absent minded father because he's dying right Well,

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Speaker 1: they're going to say yes because that's because that seems

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Speaker 1: like the right thing to do. But after how many

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Speaker 1: attempts do we then put our own piece first? Is

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Speaker 1: my question? And I feel like we're beyond the point

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Speaker 1: of putting our own peace first. Because you know, God

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Speaker 1: forbid me. I don't wan anything bad to happen to

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Speaker 1: this guy. But you bring him back into your life

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Speaker 1: and he does all the same stuff all over again

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Speaker 1: that he's been doing, and then he tears you guys

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Speaker 1: all down again and you got to rebuild all simply

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Speaker 1: because something bad happened to him. So it's part for

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Speaker 1: the course, it's more about him. Yeah, right, you know, right,

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Speaker 1: And I'm.

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Speaker 8: On my own journey of boundaries, so I think everyone

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Speaker 8: should set boundaries at some point. But it's hard.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I know it's hard, right because you feel

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Speaker 1: like the bad person because the right thing and I'm

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Speaker 1: doing the air quotes thing. The right thing to do

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Speaker 1: is always to forgive and get people what they need

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Speaker 1: because they're going through a hard time. It's like, but

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Speaker 1: at what point is that no longer the right thing?

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Speaker 1: Because you you you've you've done enough that I don't

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Speaker 1: have to consider the right thing anymore. That's a hard

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Speaker 1: question to answer. But Angelica, good luck to you, thanks

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Speaker 1: for calling. Thank you all right, So Kiki decided there

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Speaker 1: it is.

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Speaker 2: I just want to I mean, I'm telling you I

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Speaker 2: was stressed over the weekend.

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Speaker 1: I felt.

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Speaker 2: That's how that's a hard one, but girl, you got

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Speaker 2: to put yourself first. I'm sorry, that's a hard one.

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Speaker 1: The Space, yeah,