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Speaker 1: I asked my friend to split cabin cost since his

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Speaker 1: girlfriend's joining us, but he's furious with May my friend

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Speaker 1: male forty seven and I female forty three booked to

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Speaker 1: go to an island we'd both been keen keen to

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Speaker 1: go to. We booked a tu bed cabin and because

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Speaker 1: of the popularity of the place, we had to book

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Speaker 1: and pay ten months in advance. We split the cost

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Speaker 1: fifty fifty. I'm seeing what the issue here is already.

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Speaker 1: If you know, put an ICU in the comments. By

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Speaker 1: the way, this comes from local Honeydew on the r

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Speaker 1: slash Okay storytime subwritt it. So, two months before we

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Speaker 1: were due to go, he meets someone and they commence dating.

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Speaker 1: The holiday comes up, and understandably, she was a bit

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Speaker 1: uncomfortable with him coming with me. I was given an

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Speaker 1: ultimatum either she comes or the entire holiday is called off.

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Speaker 1: I didn't say yes immediately because I needed to check

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Speaker 1: with the accommodation as the island has a limited number

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Speaker 1: of guests allowed and I needed the okay from them first.

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Speaker 1: My hesitation wasn't taken well. They thought I wasn't keen.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's pretty ridiculous. I understand to an extent saying, oh,

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Speaker 1: I want my partner to come with, because you know,

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Speaker 1: she doesn't necessarily want me going on a solo trip

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Speaker 1: with this other like another woman. But you can't just

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Speaker 1: expect that change to happen immediately, especially when you know

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Speaker 1: with airbnbs sometimes there's a limit to how many people

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Speaker 1: you can have, and if this is, you know, a

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Speaker 1: specific accommodation that only allows certain people a certain amount

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Speaker 1: of people, it's pretty rude that they're just expecting op

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Speaker 1: to immediately say yes. I got back to them within

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Speaker 1: twenty four hours and said I'd gotten me all clear

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Speaker 1: for his girlfriend to also come and she could book

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Speaker 1: plane tickets for her. A week later, he informed me

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Speaker 1: she had the tickets, and I asked him if we

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Speaker 1: could discuss rebalancing the accommodation costs now that there were

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Speaker 1: three of us coming, as it should now be a

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Speaker 1: three way split. Can we do a poll? Would you

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Speaker 1: guys do a three way split or keep the fifty

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Speaker 1: to fifty? Should they? You know, if they're the girlfriend

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Speaker 1: and him are sharing the same room, let's se yeah,

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Speaker 1: so do fifty to fifty or three way split? Addie,

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Speaker 1: I was surprised that he responded with anger. As far

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Speaker 1: as he was concerned, the accommodation was paid for, and

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Speaker 1: it was wrong and greedy of me to expect from

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Speaker 1: his girlfriend. He told me that he was paying for

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Speaker 1: the entire holiday for his girlfriend, so it was still

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Speaker 1: going to be just him and me paying, so it

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Speaker 1: was unfair of me to not pay for half. I

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Speaker 1: told him that there's three adults, three people, three way split.

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Speaker 2: Yep, I totally agree.

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Speaker 1: I agreed. If he chose to pay for his girlfriend's

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Speaker 1: third that was his choice and nothing to do with me.

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Speaker 1: And there is more to this story. Oh but John

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Speaker 1: is back here I am, so let's catch him up. Hello,

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Speaker 1: Basic Lee. Op was supposed to go on this trip

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Speaker 1: with one of her best friends or her close friends. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and they were going to split accommodations fifty to fifty

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Speaker 1: and I think everything on this trip fifty to fifty, right,

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Speaker 1: But then this guy gets a girlfriend and the girlfriend's like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want you going on a trip alone with

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Speaker 1: this female friend, and so she gives an ultimatum, either

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Speaker 1: you take me or we and we know we canceled

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Speaker 1: the trip, and so Op says, yeah, I'll check with

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Speaker 1: the accommodations, which makes them mad and agrees to the

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Speaker 1: girlfriend coming. And now he's saying we're going to keep

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Speaker 1: the fifty to fifty split, and ohp he is saying,

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Speaker 1: I want to do a three way split. Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: what are your thoughts?

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Speaker 3: All? We know, Sophia, one of my biggest pet peeves.

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Speaker 3: There's the great, the great unvenmode. Yeah, money sent incidences,

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Speaker 3: it's not good. It's twenty eighteen. Yeah, with me, it's

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Speaker 3: some people on the show have heard it many times.

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Speaker 1: We've heard it.

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Speaker 3: I do not like this at all. Yeah. Look, if

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Speaker 3: if everyone going is like cool with it, great, why not?

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Speaker 3: But yeah, generally I feel like if you're going to

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Speaker 3: go and like get to benefit everything, at least at

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Speaker 3: least offer.

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Speaker 1: I think I think I would always offer to pay. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, or I don't know. I do think

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Speaker 1: that even though you are splitting a room, I think

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Speaker 1: when there's three, when there's more people in an accommodation,

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Speaker 1: it just it like.

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Speaker 3: It just makes it all like like there won't be

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Speaker 3: any potential grudgment going into it, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Like for example, like I've been on a couple

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Speaker 1: of trips where you know, certain people get their own

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Speaker 1: room and I have to share with like five people

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Speaker 1: and we all split.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like it's just one person gets a room and

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Speaker 3: then you have to share with five people in a room.

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Speaker 1: No, no, like like for example, it's just it was beds.

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Speaker 1: It was like a couple was there and they had

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Speaker 1: and then there was like four bunk beds and so

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Speaker 1: we each got one bed. Actually I think I split.

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Speaker 1: I shared a bed.

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Speaker 2: You had to share a bed.

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Speaker 1: I just share a bunk bed.

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Speaker 2: Do we need to revisit this case?

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Speaker 1: And you know, I mean it wasn't a great trip,

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Speaker 1: but anyway, there.

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Speaker 2: Rather problems the problem at the end.

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Speaker 1: No, but I mean we split, we split it all

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Speaker 1: the causes.

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Speaker 2: Because yeah, yeah, totally.

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Speaker 1: He told me his girlfriend was going to buy me

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Speaker 1: a cocktail to say thank you for the accommodation. But

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Speaker 1: if I was going to insist on a split, that

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Speaker 1: I could forget it and buy my own damn cocktails.

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Speaker 1: As he couldn't believe I was being so selfish.

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Speaker 3: The cocktail makes me even more like I would almost

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Speaker 3: rather you just like.

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Speaker 2: Not even pay, like not pay like, oh hey here's

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Speaker 2: a cocktail.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, get your cocktail out of my goddamn face.

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Speaker 1: It's so funny that he's saying it as if she's,

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Speaker 1: you know, losing something massive. He's think, yeah, well, I thought,

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Speaker 1: because you were gonna be gracious, we were gonna get

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Speaker 1: your little cocktail. But now you're all selfish, No cocktail

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Speaker 1: for you.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, my mohedo is gone. Wha fly ever do?

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Speaker 1: The thing is a cocktail is fifteen dollars, and I

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Speaker 1: was currently covering half of her accommodation costs six hundred dollars.

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Speaker 2: Boom boom, bully stop it.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I was the a hole asking her

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Speaker 1: slash them to cover her share of accommodation. I haven't

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Speaker 1: even met her yet, but they thought I should cover

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Speaker 1: a cost because it was already paid for. Am I

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Speaker 1: the a hole for insisting she paid for her component

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Speaker 1: component of the cost? And there is an update?

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Speaker 3: Just send them the money. Okay, they've already paid for it. Great,

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Speaker 3: Just send money, send send, send them the money that

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Speaker 3: will turn it into a three waisplit?

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Speaker 1: I literally so like, just send the six hundred bucks.

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Speaker 1: I just I just think it's weird because he's saying, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm paying for her whole trip. No you're not you

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Speaker 1: you're just paying for your trip and making a pee

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Speaker 1: pay for hers.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Sophia, this is insane thing. Are you ready for this? No,

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Speaker 2: it's called a calculator.

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Speaker 1: I've never heard of such a thing.

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Speaker 2: I know it's insane. Just like, stay with me for

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Speaker 2: a second.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, you can use this alleged calculator to figure

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Speaker 3: out how they can split the money around, so it

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Speaker 3: could be a three wais split.

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Speaker 2: It is a possibility. You can do it, Sophie.

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Speaker 1: Okay, update, I update though, here we go. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: Thank you everyone. Interesting to see various lines of thought.

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Speaker 1: It seems there's a split. Also, wait, what was the

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Speaker 1: we had a pole? What was the poll?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yes, see what the answer to that poll was. It

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Speaker 1: seems that we have one hundred hundred percent of people

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Speaker 1: say three ways split, which we agree with.

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Speaker 2: If someone asked to come on now easy do it anyways.

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Speaker 1: But thank you everyone. Interesting to see various lines of thought.

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Speaker 1: It seems there's a split between people that think everyone

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Speaker 1: pays equally no matter what, those that think a couple

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Speaker 1: sharing a bedroom are treated as one person cost wise,

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Speaker 1: and those that think the cost should be split taking

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Speaker 1: into account the shared areas, one third per bedroom, one

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Speaker 1: third shared spaces. With this in mind and everything else

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Speaker 1: going on, I called the accommodation discussed options, then called

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Speaker 1: my friend. I explained to him that we'd made the

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Speaker 1: agreement to split everything equally when there was only two

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Speaker 1: of us going, but I no longer felt that agreement

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Speaker 1: was fair. I suggested the third option, splitting the cost

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Speaker 1: of the communal areas three ways, but set cost per bedroom,

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Speaker 1: and also stated that any food slash activities, et cetera

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Speaker 1: wouldn't be split anymore. Oh wait, that's even more interesting

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Speaker 1: because it means I want to read that again. I

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Speaker 1: suggested the third option, splitting the cost of the communal

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Speaker 1: areas three ways, but set cost per bedroom, and also

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Speaker 1: stated that any food activities, et cetera wouldn't be split anymore.

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Speaker 1: We'd each be responsible for our own and they could

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Speaker 1: decide as a couple how they were paying for themselves.

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Speaker 1: Which also implies that OPI was paying for food and

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Speaker 1: other activities for the.

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Speaker 3: Girlfriend maybe, or maybe that they were like fifty fifty fifty, So.

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Speaker 1: I'm saying paying half of those food activities, which is

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Speaker 1: a completely like different argument than just you know, are

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Speaker 1: we splitting at three? Are we splitting housing free a

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Speaker 1: or fifty? Because now it's like you're literally paying specifically.

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Speaker 3: For her, yeah, not just for the room. And also

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Speaker 3: she was saying like, oh we split it up by

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Speaker 3: the car. Is she almost almost like a like a

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Speaker 3: like a square footage kind of a situation.

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Speaker 1: Which is funny because that is something that you do

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Speaker 1: for like rent, you know, when you're renting a planting

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Speaker 1: makes total sense, that makes sense. Yes, yeah, but I

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Speaker 1: think I've ever done.

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Speaker 2: Like like for a trip. This seems like like we're

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Speaker 2: just getting so deep in the weeds.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, guys, let's just split it three ways.

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Speaker 1: No, that that is why I think that just splitting

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Speaker 1: it equally is the easiest thing to do.

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Speaker 2: It's just it just gets to it's like not even

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Speaker 2: worth it, but it just split it three ways, just

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Speaker 2: split it.

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Speaker 1: It didn't go well at all. He didn't see why

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Speaker 1: he should be out of pocket because I decided to

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Speaker 1: go against our agreement that I'm paying fifty percent of everything. Again,

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Speaker 1: this is an agreement that they made before you added

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Speaker 1: someone to the trip, kind of strong armed someone to

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Speaker 1: the trip. Totally actually said either we don't go or

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Speaker 1: my partner comes it stuck to it. It said that

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Speaker 1: I'd belling to negotiate the accommodation costs, but there was

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Speaker 1: no way I was going to pay half for his

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Speaker 1: girlfriend's activities or her dinners and drinks. That's ridiculous. That's

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Speaker 1: even more ridiculous than just that housing. Yeah, and it

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Speaker 1: was ridiculous for him to think I should be paying

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Speaker 1: half of his girlfriend's costs, especially since she's a complete

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Speaker 1: stranger and he'd already asked me to change all of

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Speaker 1: our previous plans to suit her. He called me a

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Speaker 1: B word and told me I was acting crazy, which

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Speaker 1: is when you end the friendship.

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Speaker 2: Dude, I think that if kidding me.

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Speaker 1: I think that if you're especially a male friend ever

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Speaker 1: calls you the B word in anything that is not

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Speaker 1: es that is, I think that's like very strongly considering

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Speaker 1: end ending that friendship.

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Speaker 2: I I totally agree.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's like this guy, He's he's you. You've

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Speaker 3: had this friendship with OP, You're getting into this new

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Speaker 3: relationship one the new relationship sounds terrible.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sorry. Had to take my glasses off for

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Speaker 2: it. It was so terrible, So I didn't even want to

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Speaker 2: look at it, look.

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Speaker 3: At it, and you're like, I don't know, Like it's

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Speaker 3: it seems like a classic case of like changing for

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Speaker 3: the person in the relationship.

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Speaker 1: It is. It's prioritizing this new relationship over your friendship.

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Speaker 1: And I think there is to a certain extent, you know,

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Speaker 1: something to making your partner feel comfortable and stuff.

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Speaker 2: Totally.

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Speaker 1: You know they're going on a solo trip with a

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Speaker 1: female friend. But I mean also, you should be able

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Speaker 1: to trust your partner. You shouldn't be sacrificing this friendship.

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Speaker 1: I personally, if my partner went on like a solo

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Speaker 1: trip with a longtime friend that had before me, I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't be like I need to be on that trip.

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Speaker 2: But Sophia, you're a secure person in a secure relationship.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's totally different. What they've never heard of that before?

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Speaker 2: What is this? Well?

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Speaker 1: I didn't Yeah, I didn't know you could even have that.

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Speaker 2: In a relationship. Beats me. Doesn't everyone just cheat on you?

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Speaker 1: What?

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Speaker 2: That's what the girlfriend thinks.

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Speaker 1: I stopped him and said that from that, I don't

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Speaker 1: think this holiday is going to work. And I had

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Speaker 1: spoken to the accommodation and I was going to cancel

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Speaker 1: as of today. I told him if he still wanted

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Speaker 1: to go, then the accommodation would hold open the booking

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Speaker 1: for him for seventy two hours, and if he confirmed

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Speaker 1: with them, I'd instructed them to hold on to eighteen

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Speaker 1: hundred dollars as what he'd contributed to the booking and refund.

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Speaker 1: Oh and as that was what he contributed and refund

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Speaker 1: me the rest as and his girlfriend and him would

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Speaker 1: have to pay the hotel to finalize. Okay, So basically

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Speaker 1: saying she was going to cancel, but if he still

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Speaker 1: wanted to get the accommodation he could. She wouldn't completely

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Speaker 1: take that away from Totally fair, very nice of her. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: completely taking that option.

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Speaker 2: Away, absolutely absolutely.

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Speaker 1: If they didn't confirm, I'd get the refund for the

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Speaker 1: whole amount and then forward him his share. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: forwarded him the fifty percent. M He went quiet, then

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Speaker 1: told me that since I was changing the rules at

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Speaker 1: the last minute, I should leave the entire accommodation payment

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Speaker 1: because it wasn't his fault that I no longer wanted

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Speaker 1: to go, leaving them in the lurch, and I would

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Speaker 1: be ruining his holiday with his girlfriend. So now he's like,

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Speaker 1: since you're changing the plans and you're not coming, you

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Speaker 1: should still pay fifty percent.

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Speaker 3: And also he's like, because now you're ruining the holiday

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Speaker 3: with me and my girlfriend.

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Speaker 2: This was literally a trip.

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Speaker 1: For Yeah, this wasn't your holiday with your girlfriend.

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Speaker 2: What are we talking about?

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Speaker 1: You actually owe me emotional damages now. I told him

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Speaker 1: I was canceling and I would definitely not be paying

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Speaker 1: for any accommodation. I wouldn't be using good I might

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Speaker 1: have been a little petty when I told him he'd

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Speaker 1: still be paying for his girlfriend's costs. It'll just be

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Speaker 1: a little bit more that he was expecting because I

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Speaker 1: was no longer going to subsidize them. I canceled my

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Speaker 1: flights and the accommodation and emailed him all the details

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Speaker 1: and there are some relevant comments. But before we get

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Speaker 1: into them, John, do you have any do you any

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Speaker 1: thoughts any advice for Pee? What did they do anything

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Speaker 1: wrong here?

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Speaker 3: I mean not only did they do nothing wrong, I

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Speaker 3: feel like they did everything right. And I agree, Hey,

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Speaker 3: look I'm going to cancel it, but I'll forward you

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Speaker 3: over the details so that way you can.

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Speaker 1: Like still go on this if you want to.

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Speaker 3: And that's it, and then you end the friendship because

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Speaker 3: clearly this person has like com change to the D word.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it is prioritizing their girlfriend over you.

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Speaker 3: Like insanity, absolute in sanity, but you know it's not insanity.

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Speaker 3: These donations, these donations from m J grow thanks are

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Speaker 3: to five bucks. H move over, Miss Rachel, make way

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Speaker 3: for Queen and so field highness.

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Speaker 2: Then another find donation from j Grow.

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Speaker 3: She needs to ask why do I need to pay

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Speaker 3: for you to get your peepee wet?

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Speaker 2: A great question?

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Speaker 1: Literally, yeah, come on, come on.

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Speaker 3: Also, I just I just had a funny thought from

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Speaker 3: m J GROW's comment. What if Wo's like, you know what,

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Speaker 3: I am gonna pay? Uh, we're all gonna do the

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Speaker 3: fifty fifty split. They're my girlfriend now, my girl, Oh yeah,

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Speaker 3: all the vacation.

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Speaker 1: It's my girlfriend now as long as she's yeah, she's

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Speaker 1: also I get fifty percent of time with her.

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Speaker 2: Yeah you have to feel with that. Yep.

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Speaker 1: But there are some Otherwen comments, so let's get into them.

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Speaker 1: Jewels meet ten says, Wow, I am so sorry. They

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Speaker 1: both are immature. I bet you she is young offering

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Speaker 1: a cocktail and then taking it back. She is young,

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Speaker 1: or broke or cheap, not someone you want to go

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Speaker 1: on a nice trip with I would say, since there

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Speaker 1: are so many requests by her, this has become a

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Speaker 1: trip more about her and therefore needs to be split

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Speaker 1: three ways. How is it fair she gets to kick

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Speaker 1: me out of the cabin. Sadly, you may lose a

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Speaker 1: friend over this. He is obviously siding with his two

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Speaker 1: minute jealous girlfriend over a long term friend. Opie says,

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Speaker 1: she's fifty one, so the oldest. I don't know her

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Speaker 1: at all, never met her, so can't say whether she's

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Speaker 1: cheap or broke, and Tippy Tippy Slappy says, who is

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Speaker 1: this guy to you? How did you meet him? How

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Speaker 1: long have you known him? I cannot fathom someone expecting

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Speaker 1: this from someone else. It sounds like an oblivious, self

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Speaker 1: centered sibling taking advantage of a family bond type of entitlement.

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Speaker 1: This can't have been the first time he has done

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Speaker 1: something this inconsiderate. Opie says, I'd known him for five

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Speaker 1: years as a friend. Yes, I'd had some issues with

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Speaker 1: him for lack of empathy regarding others and some general selfishness.

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Speaker 1: He was a mid forties guy that basically never had

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Speaker 1: a long term girlfriend. I just sort of went with

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Speaker 1: the two used to doing his own thing to pay

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Speaker 1: much attention to it. We have traveled together before, together

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Speaker 1: and in larger groups. I have issues in the past

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Speaker 1: with his lack of planning, leaving a lot up to me,

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Speaker 1: but his entire personality seemed to change overnight when he

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Speaker 1: started seeing this new girlfriend. Nothing was good enough before

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Speaker 1: he'd at least discuss things, talk options. This time was

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Speaker 1: like hitting a brick walk his way or no way,

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Speaker 1: decided this was what was going to happen without talking

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Speaker 1: to me, and then got angry when I wanted to

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Speaker 1: discuss it. First and last comment from Op says I

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Speaker 1: haven't kept in contact with them for obvious reasons, but

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Speaker 1: through some mutual type of friends, I found out the

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Speaker 1: following They planned to go but try to find cheaper

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Speaker 1: accommodation on the island, So let the hold expire without

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Speaker 1: making any contact with the accommodation. Which does that mean

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Speaker 1: you got to get.

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Speaker 2: The refund there?

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Speaker 3: So I from my understanding, so Op had already gotten

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Speaker 3: her refund. But it's like, yes, here's the like accommodation detail,

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Speaker 3: so you could book it if you do it in

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Speaker 3: time or something along those lines, and they let that

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Speaker 3: time expire case gotcha both.

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Speaker 1: From my understanding, everything was booked up completely that weekend

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Speaker 1: and for the next six months. They lost the option

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Speaker 1: to use the cabin and someone else immediately booked it

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Speaker 1: when it became free. There's a wait list. I received

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Speaker 1: back the full deposit and immediately transferred his portion to him,

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Speaker 1: as I stated I would never got an acknowledgment. He

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Speaker 1: received it, but it was an account I had paid

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Speaker 1: into previously, and my bank assured me it was good.

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Speaker 1: But I want to assure you that you can join

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Speaker 1: us every weekday at three PMPST. Just tap her profile, sued.

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Speaker 1: A mutual friend told me the ex friend was pissed

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Speaker 1: off as against my advice, he had bought non refundable,

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Speaker 1: non transferable plane tickets and refused to buy travel insurance.

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Speaker 1: So he's out the cost of those fairs about thirty

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Speaker 1: two hundred dollars.

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Speaker 2: Suit.

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Speaker 1: I mean, should have just paid the extra six hundred. Dude.

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Speaker 3: Also like, like, I don't know five some other just

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Speaker 3: take the plane tickets and find some other commoday.

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Speaker 1: It could have found anything else. The thing is that

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Speaker 1: op said that she has to plan most of the things,

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Speaker 1: so it seems like he's just a really poor planner.

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Speaker 3: I mean that is like Olympic level, Olympic level poor plan.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thirty two hundred dollars is crazy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And that because I pulled out, his holiday with his

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Speaker 1: girlfriend was totally ruined once again. This was supposed to

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Speaker 1: be his holiday with Op, not his girlfriend, and I

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Speaker 1: owed him an apology and the cost of the fair

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Speaker 1: is not going to happen myself. I booked a holiday

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Speaker 1: back at the Island where I am in a single

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Speaker 1: apartment by myself and plan to have an awesome time.

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Speaker 1: Good for you, Op, leave these stupid people behind, get

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Speaker 1: out of here. But that is the end of that story.