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Speaker 1: Good break it down. If you ever have feelings that

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Speaker 1: you just fons Amy and Cat, gotcha, Cob and locking

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Speaker 1: m brother, ladies and folks, do you just follow Anna

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Speaker 1: spirit where it's all the front and real stuff to

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Speaker 1: the chill stuff and the m but swaying. Sometimes the

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Speaker 1: best thing you can do it just stop you feel things.

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Speaker 1: This is feeling things with.

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Speaker 2: Amy and Cat. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm

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Speaker 2: Amy and I'm Cat and we both have feelings of

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Speaker 2: the day. You want an animating money mo or you just.

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Speaker 3: Go, I'll just go. Okay, it's not that exciting. I'm

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Speaker 3: feeling lethargic because my husband was out of town this weekend,

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Speaker 3: and I think I've consumed more TV in the past

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Speaker 3: three days than I haven't liked the past six months.

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Speaker 3: Like I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel right now.

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Speaker 3: I went back to watch The Real Housewives. I haven't

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Speaker 3: watched The Real Housewife probably since I was in college.

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Speaker 2: Okay, question, yes, are you watching Paradise? Yes? Okay, so

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Speaker 2: you're caught up? Are you watching Love Story?

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Speaker 3: Yes, you're caught up? Okay, pit caught up, Traders, caught up,

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Speaker 3: Love is blind, caught up, So that's why. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 3: so you really are you're looking for a fish? First

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Speaker 3: episode of broad Church great loved it. Started the second

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Speaker 3: episode or the second season Bridgerton. I don't think that's

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Speaker 3: my jam.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I also started the first episode of Tell Me Lies. Also,

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Speaker 3: don't think that's gonna be my job.

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Speaker 2: That's not my jam. I tried. I tried well, and

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Speaker 2: that's sort of my thing with Bridgerton. Okay, you're muffs

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Speaker 2: for kids?

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Speaker 3: Do you say?

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Speaker 2: Like sometimes if kids are listening? But this also isn't

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Speaker 2: bad at all. Some of these shows are highly physical sexual.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, and I'm like, I don't have to need it,

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Speaker 2: like okay, I can take it or leave it. But

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Speaker 2: like sometimes it's just like, Okay, I don't.

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Speaker 3: Really enjoy watch.

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Speaker 2: Scene is very long, and now I just we could,

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Speaker 2: which I know some people are like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: that's my favorite part.

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Speaker 3: I don't know. Okay, did you try to watch he

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Speaker 3: did Rivalry?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 3: I tried to watch that because one of my clients

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Speaker 3: was like, Catherine, you would love it. Meanwhile, she's like

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Speaker 3: twenty four to twenty five. She was like, you would

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Speaker 3: love it, you would binge it in like oh day

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Speaker 3: and I was like, Okay, I'll finally I'll watch it.

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Speaker 3: So I put on the first episode and I'm not kidding,

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Speaker 3: there was a sex scene that lasted fifteen twenty minutes. Oh,

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Speaker 3: I'm not kidding. I haven't fast forwarded it, but I

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Speaker 3: was like, well, now it feels like this is half

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Speaker 3: of the show. So I've just skipped through half of

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Speaker 3: the first episode.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, I already determined that probably wasn't gonna be

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Speaker 2: my thing. But that's why I haven't gotten I tried

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Speaker 2: and tell me lies, and then also and tell me lies.

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Speaker 2: They're in college. So then I feel like I'm watching

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Speaker 2: eighteen year.

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Speaker 3: Old Oh yeah, inappropriate? Sheels weird.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, and I guess now I'm a mom

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Speaker 2: of an eighteen year old, and I'm like thinking of

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Speaker 2: like my daughter if she were off at college, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, she better not meet a guy like that.

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Speaker 3: Geez. Well, I only watched the first forty minutes of

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Speaker 3: the first episode, so it's not too bad. But I

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Speaker 3: know I can tell you get going. Yeah, it gets there.

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Speaker 3: I just wanted to try something that wasn't reality TV,

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Speaker 3: and it backfired on me. Yeah, so that's why I'm

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Speaker 3: watching the Housewives.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, well I am feeling grateful, oh okay, specifically

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Speaker 2: for Anna Voss's newsletter. Now, she's a female country artist

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Speaker 2: and I signed up for her newsletter, which she calls

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Speaker 2: the Weekly Whimsy Newsletter.

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Speaker 3: That's right up your alley.

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Speaker 2: And I think it goes out on Wednesdays, So you know,

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Speaker 2: I love that.

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Speaker 3: A weekly Wednesday whimsy newsletter.

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Speaker 2: You know I love alliteration. Yeah, And I thought I

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Speaker 2: would share with y'all the most recent email I got

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Speaker 2: from Anna with three whimsies for the week, because I

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Speaker 2: thought these whimsies were great. And we've talked about being

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Speaker 2: whimsy here on the podcast for a long time, like

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Speaker 2: maybe even was that back on the fifth thing before

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Speaker 2: we even Yeah, so more whimsy, less worry. That's the

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Speaker 2: talk that I gave my health and wellness talk that

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Speaker 2: I gave on the cruise, And when I saw her whimsies,

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I'm going to pull this. Give

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Speaker 2: Anna Voss a shout out because not only is she

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Speaker 2: an awesome artist, her voice is great. You can google her,

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Speaker 2: check out her music, check her out on socials, and

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Speaker 2: then if you do find her, sign up for her

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Speaker 2: newsletter and you'll get her weekly Whimsy newsletter. And oh,

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Speaker 2: speaking of our newsletter, I will shout out before I

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Speaker 2: read the Whimsies. We got an email from Elizabeth from

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Speaker 2: our about our latest newsletter that went out about waiting

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Speaker 2: to worry. I believe that was the title of the newsletter,

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Speaker 2: was wait to worry. And she sent us an email

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Speaker 2: that said, oh my goodness, this newsletter came at the

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Speaker 2: perfect time. We are in a very hard season with

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Speaker 2: one of our children. I have so much to worry

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Speaker 2: about him, you know, like what will happen, when, what

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Speaker 2: will happen if? But I need to wait to worry,

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Speaker 2: take everything one dead day at a time. I truly

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Speaker 2: teared up when I read the email, as it hits

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Speaker 2: so close to home and was exactly what I needed today.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you, so shout out. If you haven't

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Speaker 2: signed up for our newsletter, you can.

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Speaker 3: You can help. He always forget on our Instagram in

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Speaker 3: the bio and then you can email us and I

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Speaker 3: can send you the link. It's also on the Facebook page.

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Speaker 2: So and our instagram is Feeling Things Podcast and then

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Speaker 2: if you want to email us, it's Hey, They're at

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Speaker 2: Feeling thingspodcast dot com, which we did also have an

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Speaker 2: email this week of someone and this isn't the first

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Speaker 2: time we've had this where they're like, I signed up

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Speaker 2: and I still haven't received an email. So our only

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Speaker 2: recommendation to that is to check your spam or your promotion,

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Speaker 2: you know, like on my Gmail it's divided like I've

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Speaker 2: got promotional emails and then junk mail.

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Speaker 3: And then I also will put say this, if anybody

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Speaker 3: has insider information on Shopify's marketing emails, let me know,

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Speaker 3: because it will say some of the people that are

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Speaker 3: emailing me, it says they're subscribed.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because you've checked.

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Speaker 3: Yes, And I'm like, I don't know how to fixed this.

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Speaker 2: And then we feel bad, So I don't know, don't

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Speaker 2: give up, keep trying. Okay, Now do you want Anna's

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Speaker 2: whimsies for the week. Yeah, okay, whimsy won She said,

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Speaker 2: go for a flower walk and see how many different

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Speaker 2: kinds of flowers you can spot. This whimsy is from

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Speaker 2: my mom. It's amazing how many different kinds of flowers

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Speaker 2: are hiding in plain sight and joy. So shout out

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Speaker 2: Anna's mom for that whimsical activity. My therapist once gave

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Speaker 2: me an activity to go when I'm on a walk

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Speaker 2: intentionally look for leaves that are shaped like hearts.

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Speaker 3: I know who said that, Yeah, yeah, shout out.

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Speaker 2: And it was crazy how many I found.

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Speaker 3: And how many because she's always been that way. She

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Speaker 3: used to collect rocks in the shape of hearts. She

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Speaker 3: probably still does. She'd have him in her office and

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Speaker 3: now she I'll see all kinds of things in the

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Speaker 3: shape of heart, like spill like you spill something, like

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Speaker 3: a splatter of something, or like, I don't know, random

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Speaker 3: shapes that you just look at differently.

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Speaker 2: In my hardwood in my kitchen there's a little smiley

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Speaker 2: face cute, like it's really cute. And so I think

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Speaker 2: that's the point of this one is while it's a

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Speaker 2: flower walk activity, you could turn it into any kind

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Speaker 2: of walk that you want, of like looking for specific things.

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Speaker 3: I went on a date with somebody a long, long

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Speaker 3: time ago. It was my worst date I've ever been on.

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Speaker 3: Do you know what I'm gonna say?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember he was like that target guy, Yes, yeah, yeah. He.

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Speaker 3: I asked him what he liked to do for fun,

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Speaker 3: and he he said, I like to walk around and

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Speaker 3: smell flowers. It's like we have different ideas of fun.

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Speaker 3: He also called me a basic white B word because

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Speaker 3: I shop at Target and he said he doesn't shop

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Speaker 3: he only shops local, and I was like, okay, wow.

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Speaker 3: He also flip flops and it was like February, Oh no,

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Speaker 3: it was cold outside. Yeah. Interesting.

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Speaker 2: I think it's the overall vibe, which just terrible. I

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Speaker 2: mean those reasons alone are a little weird. I mean

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Speaker 2: going around and smelling flowers for fun is fine in itself,

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Speaker 2: but I think he had stuff other things that made that, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: made that a bigger ew than it is.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. At the end of the day, I said, well,

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Speaker 3: this is fun and he said was it? And I said, no,

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Speaker 3: it wasn't. He knew when I said this was one.

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Speaker 3: It was just kind of like I haven't notice to say.

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Speaker 3: He was like, was it? And I was like, you're right, No,

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Speaker 3: this was not fun.

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Speaker 2: So I take it. Did y'all ever talk again after

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Speaker 2: that at all?

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Speaker 3: I think that I like blocked him after that. It

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Speaker 3: was like not did. He was very combative. It was

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Speaker 3: very weird.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like it if you're like, oh, I shop

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Speaker 2: at Target and he was.

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Speaker 3: Like, uh yeah from the jump, basic whitebe Yeah, you

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Speaker 3: just call me a name.

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Speaker 2: Whimsy number two a whimsy event for the week. Piggybacking

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Speaker 2: off of last week's wimsy, she wrote, Shoot, I don't

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Speaker 2: know what that was because I wasn't signed up for

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Speaker 2: her newsletter yet I missed out on a whimsy watch

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Speaker 2: the sunset one day this week? What do you notice

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Speaker 2: that's different about the sun as it sets later? What

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Speaker 2: about yourself? How has your evening routine changed with the

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Speaker 2: light m which I could make I could watch? Try

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Speaker 2: to be intentional about watching the sunset or going on

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Speaker 2: a sunset walk double whimsy looking for heart shaped leaves

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Speaker 2: or flowers while I walk into the sunset. I bet

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Speaker 2: if I had to guess, the one from the week

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Speaker 2: before was to watch a sunrise.

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Speaker 3: Oh what time would that be? Well, now it's later. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: but you could do it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you could still do it, even if it was

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Speaker 2: the earlier one.

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Speaker 3: You could do it, But a sunset would be better

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Speaker 3: for the schedule.

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Speaker 2: Okay, final whimsy for the week. Write an email to

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Speaker 2: your and schedule it to send a year from now.

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Speaker 2: What do you think your future self needs to hear?

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Speaker 2: What do you hope your future self is experiencing that

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Speaker 2: you're not Plus include your current favorite song so that

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Speaker 2: you can go back and listens like yourself. No, that's separate.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, sorry, I thought she was saying put that

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Speaker 3: in the email. I love that. Have you ever done

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Speaker 3: that before email myself? No, like had a letter. You've

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Speaker 3: written a letter and then later it's sent to you. No.

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Speaker 3: I did it when I did training to be an

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Speaker 3: adventure therapist, something I never thought I would be doing.

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Speaker 3: And when we did our training, it was like in

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Speaker 3: the woods and they had us like go out somewhere

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Speaker 3: by ourselves and like write a letter to ourselves experience.

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Speaker 3: And then I forgot about it and they mailed it

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Speaker 3: to us a year later. I think I still have it.

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Speaker 3: It was really special because I was also I think

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Speaker 3: a dark place too when I wrote that letter. It

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Speaker 3: was cool to see like a year later.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I can see how that would be very therapeutic.

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Speaker 2: I'm actually like trying to think. Have it sounds like

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Speaker 2: an activity? Surely with all my therapy that I've done.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, a lot of people will do it. We did it,

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Speaker 3: I don't recall. We did it in treat. When I

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Speaker 3: worked in treatment, we would have people write a letter

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Speaker 3: a year from now to themselves. Want two letters. Actually,

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Speaker 3: we would send both of them. One if they relapse,

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Speaker 3: what do you need to hear from yourself from your

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Speaker 3: recovery yourself now? And two if you're still in recovery, like,

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Speaker 3: how do you want to cheer yourself onto? So that

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Speaker 3: was really cool. And those letters when because we would

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Speaker 3: send them a year later, sometimes clients would come back

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Speaker 3: to treatment after they got their letter because it would

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Speaker 3: like reawaken them up. Yeah, so oh pretty cool.

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Speaker 2: No, I like that, And I like that she said,

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Speaker 2: include your current favorite song, which what is? You know what?

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Speaker 2: I am jamming out to right now so hard. I

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Speaker 2: listened to it while I was getting ready this morning.

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Speaker 2: Ella Langley be her.

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Speaker 3: So I don't listen to a lot of country music,

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Speaker 3: so I don't know that song. Okay, so maybe I

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Speaker 3: all listened to it.

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Speaker 2: I just want to be her so bad.

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Speaker 3: It hurts so bad.

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Speaker 2: It hurts so bad. I just want to be hurt. No, well, well,

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Speaker 2: I don't know that it's sad. But she drinks one

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Speaker 2: by the glass, not by the bottle. Good, I can't.

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Speaker 3: Is it about being somebody else? Like is it like

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Speaker 3: somebody who's dating somebody she loves, or is it like

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Speaker 3: about being a different version?

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Speaker 2: I think when I heard Ella like maybe explaining it

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Speaker 2: in an interview when they sat down for the right

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Speaker 2: it was like they were describing some girl and they

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Speaker 2: already had a title of like be her or a

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Speaker 2: line like that, and she just started like singing along,

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Speaker 2: like oh, I just want to be her so bad

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Speaker 2: at her. It's like describing like someone that you look

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Speaker 2: to them and you're like, oh, I want to be them. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: she drinks one by the glass, she smokes one on vacation,

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Speaker 2: rolls over every morning to the love of her life.

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Speaker 2: She's a mother. Now, I can't catch the tune in

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Speaker 2: my head right now if you can't tell, which I've been,

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Speaker 2: I know, but someone's listening right now and they're like,

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Speaker 2: I know that song, you sound nothing like it. But

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Speaker 2: I was listening to it all weekend and then this

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Speaker 2: morning I put it on repeat. But I'm still not

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Speaker 2: over Ella's choosing Texas because that song is also such

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Speaker 2: a jam and I'm not over that one being amazing.

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Speaker 2: But she's already put out this next banger, so I'm like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I think I'm loving what Ella Lingley has going on.

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Speaker 2: So do you have a favorite song right now?

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Speaker 3: So I'm actually in a weird spot with music where

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Speaker 3: it all is annoying me right now.

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Speaker 2: Well, maybe you could email yourself your favorite TV show

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Speaker 2: instead of song your emails.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I can do that.

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Speaker 2: And you just said you watch so much TV, but

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Speaker 2: you get like.

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Speaker 3: That where like all music annoys me because I like

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Speaker 3: all the same stuff. I've like listened to too much

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Speaker 3: of it. So I've been driving in silence because I'm

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Speaker 3: just like, I don't want to hear that song again.

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Speaker 3: But I also don't know where else to go because

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Speaker 3: I like have my like I listened to this playlist

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Speaker 3: or about the radio, I've never thought to turn on

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Speaker 3: my radio.

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Speaker 2: Cool silence. It's just my main job.

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Speaker 3: But you' have a podcast too.

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Speaker 2: You show it's on a podcast by Bread and Butter

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Speaker 2: is a radio show, like if you that's where like.

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Speaker 3: But I listened. But if I've listened to that show,

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Speaker 3: I would listen to it on your podcast version.

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Speaker 2: True, it is that same and on the podcast you

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Speaker 2: can't hear music though.

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Speaker 3: Oh but also country music isn't where I'm going to

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Speaker 3: want to go.

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Speaker 2: We'll turn on the river, turn on pop. Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: mean I get it. There's commercials. There's a different way

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Speaker 2: of consuming music, but it's still a way to like

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Speaker 2: get introduced to what does popular or hear a fun throwback?

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Speaker 2: Like there's a I don't know if it's like HD

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Speaker 2: two HU three, it's an option in my car where

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Speaker 2: I can listen to what's HD mean. It's like the

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Speaker 2: type of I don't know how to explain it. It's

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Speaker 2: not I don't know if it's necessarily quality related or

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Speaker 2: just it gives you access like on like say, locally,

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Speaker 2: we're the Big ninety eight, which is ninety eight point

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Speaker 2: nine on the FM dial, but you can go to

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Speaker 2: ninety eight point nine on HD two and it's a

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Speaker 2: totally different station, and then on HD three a totally

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Speaker 2: different station that plays like classic country. So I like

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Speaker 2: to turn that one on because it's like I'm listening

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Speaker 2: to the same radio dial, but I'm going back to

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Speaker 2: country classics like nineties.

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Speaker 3: Do all cars have out?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I haven't turned the radio on in so long.

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Speaker 2: I would imagine you have a newer car, so I think, so, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'll test it out. I feel like I'm just picturing

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Speaker 2: that like movie where he was like done Indokio. You

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Speaker 2: probably don't know that one either I don't know that

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Speaker 2: one's really old, but kids these days probably don't even.

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Speaker 3: They for sure aren't listening to the radio, right, I.

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Speaker 2: Mean, unless they're listening with their parents. Now, my son

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Speaker 2: is in eighth grade and some of his friends listen

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Speaker 2: to our radio show. But that's because their parents listen

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Speaker 2: while they're driving to school. And I assume they're actually

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Speaker 2: listening to the radio dial and not the podcast while

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Speaker 2: they're driving to school, right if it's their parents, because

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Speaker 2: they're probably.

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Speaker 3: To listen to it as it's happened.

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Speaker 2: Like the two quotes that Anna Boss put in her

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Speaker 2: newsletter that I was just going to share that are

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Speaker 2: good are in March, the earth remembers its own name.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what that means.

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Speaker 3: Wait what I was about to ask you what it meant?

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Speaker 4: I thought you had some like insider info.

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Speaker 2: I read the second line. Now I just was like, okay, spring, okay,

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Speaker 2: the quote spring will okay, this is the quote that

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Speaker 2: I actually read, and I assumed that they would both

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Speaker 2: go with the flow. But I mean, and you thought

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Speaker 2: they were part of what you're the email to yourself, Okay,

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Speaker 2: spring will come, and so will happiness. Hold on, life

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Speaker 2: will get warmer.

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Speaker 3: That's beautiful because he goes back to the other.

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Speaker 2: Maybe this is from a book. Is there a book

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Speaker 2: called warm? In March, the earth remembers its own name?

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Speaker 3: Why if you had to guess what that meant, if

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Speaker 3: it was your life depended on it, you have to

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Speaker 3: tell me what does that mean?

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Speaker 2: In March the earth remember? Maybe are things thawing out

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Speaker 2: in March and like flowers are blooming and the earth

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Speaker 2: is remembering who I am, Like you've gone through winter

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Speaker 2: and new things are sprouting. I don't know. That's my

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Speaker 2: best guess with yours, ye warm, She says, it's from

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Speaker 2: Mary Oliver Warm Worm Moon.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, but there is a quote by Mary

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Speaker 3: Oliver that really helped me out in a dark time.

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Speaker 3: May I share it with you?

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Speaker 2: Obviously?

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Speaker 3: And actually a therapist who was my boss at the

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Speaker 3: time said this to me when I was going through

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Speaker 3: a breakup. I'm gonna I might not say exactly correctly,

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Speaker 3: but it's someone once handed me a box full of darkness.

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Speaker 3: I found out this too is a gift. So he

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Speaker 3: was saying, like, somebody gave you this box full of darkness.

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Speaker 3: Somebody broke your heart in time. You're going to find

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Speaker 3: out that was a gift, and boy was it the

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Speaker 3: best gift anybody has ever given me.

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Speaker 2: That reminds me of a a Dan Harris thing, like

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Speaker 2: he was interviewing somebody and it popped up as a

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Speaker 2: real option for me, and I guess Dan was interviewing

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Speaker 2: a guy who uses the phrase yes, thank you and

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Speaker 2: all things, and that reminds me of that, where like

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Speaker 2: he used example of maybe you're at the airport in

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Speaker 2: your flight gets canceled and he just says, oh, yes, yes,

380
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Speaker 2: thank you. Yes my flight is canceled, Yes, thank you,

381
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Speaker 2: Because is something in that is a gift? Like okay,

382
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Speaker 2: well we have that question what's now possible from this

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Speaker 2: or what is this sparing me from? Or what is

384
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Speaker 2: this teaching me? Like it's either a moment to practice

385
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Speaker 2: patients or to avoid who knows what if you had

386
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Speaker 2: been on that flight, which maybe it wasn't even gonna

387
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Speaker 2: happen on the flight, but it would get you on

388
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Speaker 2: the road that would take you somewhere else, or does

389
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,600
Speaker 2: it give you an opportunity to meet somebody that you

390
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:40,920
Speaker 2: otherwise wouldn't have met, Like either way, there's a even

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00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 2: the box of darkness is a gift. So that simple

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Speaker 2: statement for this particular guy that Dan was interviewing, and

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Speaker 2: I don't know who it was, but he just said, yes,

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Speaker 2: thank you has transformed his life three words, yes, comma,

395
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Speaker 2: thank you in all things.

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Speaker 3: And that's that's easy to do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I would imagine too, the more you do it.

398
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Speaker 2: So yeah, like even in a breakup, a simple yes

399
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Speaker 2: thank you.

400
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Speaker 3: Can you imagine if somebody broke up with you and

401
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Speaker 3: you're like, yes, thank you, you'd say to yourself, not

402
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Speaker 3: to the person out loud.

403
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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I don't know that. I mean you also

404
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,120
Speaker 2: don't I don't know that. I would always say it

405
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Speaker 2: with such gratitude like yeah, such like.

406
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Speaker 3: Yes thank you. Yeah.

407
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Speaker 2: Sometimes I might say begrudgingly sort of like but still,

408
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,879
Speaker 2: just the discipline of saying it, maybe making it a

409
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Speaker 2: little mantra till it becomes true, because you may not

410
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 2: believe yourself at first, like of course this isn't a yes,

411
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,000
Speaker 2: thank you, this is a huge inconvenience and this hurts

412
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Speaker 2: and it's painful and it's disruptive and I'm annoyed and

413
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Speaker 2: frustrated and yes, thank you, yes, thank you.

414
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Speaker 3: Yeah.

415
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Speaker 2: Well I'm so glad that something fruitful came from the

416
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Speaker 2: fact that I just threw those well, I really wanted

417
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,399
Speaker 2: to read the whimsies, and I was like, oh, I'll

418
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:57,720
Speaker 2: throw those two quotes in because she just threw them

419
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Speaker 2: at the end of the email, like two quotes to

420
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Speaker 2: tuck away. But now Shannon has looked up the meaning

421
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:05,399
Speaker 2: of in March, the Earth remembers its own name, and

422
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,440
Speaker 2: I'm sure it's going to be powerful and we're gonna

423
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:13,280
Speaker 2: be like, maybe the Earth remembers its own name signifies

424
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:18,120
Speaker 2: the seasonal awakening of nature. We're thawing soil and reappearing

425
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:22,200
Speaker 2: earthworms signal the end of winter. It captures the quiet,

426
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:26,600
Speaker 2: inevitable return of life, growth, and identity to the land

427
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 2: after a long, cold, dormant, icy period.

428
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Speaker 3: You were kind of right, It's kind of right.

429
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Speaker 2: Huh. Deep very it was just too deep for us

430
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Speaker 2: at the beginning. I think we got there. Well, maybe

431
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:43,840
Speaker 2: in the full poem there's more we would if that

432
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Speaker 2: that's a line from the yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd be interested. I guess she included it because

434
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:53,080
Speaker 3: this was in the email, right, this is in the newsletter.

435
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:58,120
Speaker 3: She included it because its spring is springing, and because

436
00:21:58,119 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 3: it's March.

437
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 2: Yeh it's March, and maybe she like I mean. Also,

438
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 2: Anna's a songwriter.

439
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 3: So she probably gets things a little bit differently. She's deep.

440
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,680
Speaker 2: Words are her thing, so I could see like her

441
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:15,960
Speaker 2: in a song being like in March. It's a name.

442
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:22,360
Speaker 2: Spring will come and soul will happiness. So hold on.

443
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,640
Speaker 3: That's her next big song, Life.

444
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 2: Will get warmer. That quote is from the second quote,

445
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:30,760
Speaker 2: the spring will come and so will happiness. Hold On,

446
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,680
Speaker 2: Life will get warmer? Is Anika Krisan.

447
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,600
Speaker 3: I would have said Anka, but I don't think I'm right.

448
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,120
Speaker 2: Oh no, you could totally be right.

449
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 3: But Anna Cody two ends right, We'll never know.

450
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:44,159
Speaker 2: Well, we have we have it covered.

451
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:49,919
Speaker 3: Speaking of that, I can't pronounce, Yes, I don't say.

452
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,440
Speaker 3: Speaking of names, I can't pronounce. I came across something

453
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 3: very interesting and I would like to share with you,

454
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,200
Speaker 3: and you don't know what I'm gonna say.

455
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:56,680
Speaker 2: No, I do know.

456
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 3: So I found this study, you know, we love studies,

457
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:04,159
Speaker 3: and it was in an article the Good Deaths of

458
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 3: people who never marry. So this caught my eye. This

459
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 3: is on psychology today, The Good Deaths dea t the

460
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 3: good deaths. Yes, okay, I feel like there is this

461
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:21,240
Speaker 3: rhetoric or there are these responses or there are these

462
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:25,000
Speaker 3: things that people assume and think of people who are

463
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 3: married versus single in life in an old age, and

464
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,239
Speaker 3: people who have kids and who don't have kids, Like

465
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,639
Speaker 3: I hear a lot when people are talking about like

466
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,320
Speaker 3: because not everybody wants kids, and when people are talking

467
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:41,400
Speaker 3: about like I don't want to have kids, like that's

468
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 3: not part of my story. Whatever. People will say to them, well,

469
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,240
Speaker 3: who's going to take care of you when you're older?

470
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:48,000
Speaker 3: Have you heard this?

471
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:48,920
Speaker 1: Yeah?

472
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 3: Which is very rude, but I get where they're coming from.

473
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 3: So this study it was in again, this is an

474
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,719
Speaker 3: article and we'll link in the show notes. The article

475
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 3: is just talking about the study that was done at

476
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 3: Boston University. There were two social scientists and this is

477
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 3: what I can't pronounce. I'm gonna try my best. Kefayatte

478
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 3: My Mound, I mean, your guess is as good as mine,

479
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,960
Speaker 3: and Devra Carr. That one was easy. So they analyzed

480
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 3: data from twelve years of nationally representative samples of US

481
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:28,440
Speaker 3: Medicare beneficiaries who were sixty five or older when they died.

482
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 3: So they took twelve years of data from people who

483
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 3: were sixty five or older when they died, and they

484
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:38,160
Speaker 3: reported that people who have never married generally fared as

485
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:42,280
Speaker 3: well as, if not better than married people. What, yes,

486
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:45,119
Speaker 3: I'm shocked. They also found that people who had no

487
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 3: children were no different from parents in the quality of

488
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 3: their life in their last month. So this was so

489
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:52,639
Speaker 3: interesting to me.

490
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,680
Speaker 2: But who cared for them? Really? I will get to Okay, well, good, Well,

491
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 2: I I don't have biological children, but we adopted, and

492
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 2: I I still wonder who's gonna care for me?

493
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:04,119
Speaker 3: Well, okay, I don't know.

494
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,600
Speaker 2: I mean maybe they will, maybe they will. I as

495
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 2: someone where my sister and I were the caregivers to

496
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 2: our parents towards the end of their life, like I'm talking. Yes,

497
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 2: we had to bathe them, we had to clothe them,

498
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 2: carry them, like. There's a lot that goes into that.

499
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:20,880
Speaker 2: So of course, when I was doing that with my parents,

500
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,359
Speaker 2: I was thinking, my sister's good, she has four biological children.

501
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:28,400
Speaker 2: They're all like it. They're great, They're gonna they're gonna

502
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 2: be awesome. My kids are great. However, I don't know

503
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 2: where we are for sure, for sure on that attachment,

504
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:38,119
Speaker 2: So I often wonder what that will look like for

505
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 2: me down the line.

506
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:40,919
Speaker 3: But also like, what if you didn't have kids, like

507
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,400
Speaker 3: then that's what that thing. Well, I think that's that

508
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,400
Speaker 3: like assumption that like, if you don't have kids, there

509
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,240
Speaker 3: will be nobody, and that's proven to not be true.

510
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:53,159
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll see. But my dad was even once I

511
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,200
Speaker 2: put him sounds like I put him somewhere. We all

512
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 2: agreed as a family, including him, that he needed to

513
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 2: move to Intsville and live in an assisted living home.

514
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 2: He could still take care of himself, but I would

515
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,880
Speaker 2: still go by there sometimes if it was a rough week.

516
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 2: I would go almost every day and help with stuff.

517
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 2: But there was still caregivers there, but we just didn't

518
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 2: have that full package, you know. So I guess it

519
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,239
Speaker 2: depends on what you pay for, yeah, you know.

520
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 3: And if he didn't have the if you weren't available too,

521
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,359
Speaker 3: he probably would have figured it out, right. So I

522
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 3: want to read what they defined as a good death

523
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 3: to help kind of explain some of this. They said,

524
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 3: a good death is described as free from avoidable distress

525
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:38,119
Speaker 3: and suffering for the patient, family and caregivers in general,

526
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 3: with the patient and family's wishes. So that would be

527
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 3: like a good death, Like I'm not feeling stress and

528
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:46,640
Speaker 3: anxiety and pain and all that.

529
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 2: So this is where I mean, I know, I'm sorry,

530
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 2: I'm going to like a good death to me is

531
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,639
Speaker 2: like I die in one second without even knowing I'm

532
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:54,439
Speaker 2: about to die.

533
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 3: Okay, but before you die. I think they're talking about that,

534
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 3: like the process before or that, Like if you're older.

535
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 3: This isn't like people who die when they're like forty five,

536
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:05,680
Speaker 3: got it? This is like people who are older who

537
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:11,639
Speaker 3: are near death, what their process of transitioning to the

538
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 3: other side. I was like, does that that makes sense?

539
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 3: So with emotions, this is so interesting to me. So

540
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 3: I just want to know if this is blowing your

541
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 3: mind as much as a blue my mind. During the

542
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 3: last month of their lives, people who had never married

543
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 3: were by far the least troubled by sadness or anxiety.

544
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 3: Sixty two percent of them experienced no problems with sadness

545
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:34,920
Speaker 3: or anxiety. In the other marital status groups, between forty

546
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 3: one percent and forty four experiences no problems. So, like

547
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 3: twenty percent higher satisfaction. Isn't that just not what you

548
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:41,959
Speaker 3: would assume?

549
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 2: No, I would assume that you have more life satisfaction

550
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,240
Speaker 2: if you have a love a partner.

551
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:51,000
Speaker 3: Because you assume that those relationships are healthy and happy

552
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,879
Speaker 3: and that which I would hope that they are. But

553
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 3: some are, some are, Yeah, I mean forty four percent

554
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 3: still are happy in a good experience.

555
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 2: So now I'm like rethinking, do I do you want

556
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 2: to get married? Do I get remarried?

557
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 3: So this is also interesting. People who had never been

558
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 3: married were most likely to be free of pain, which

559
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,359
Speaker 3: I don't know why during the last month of their lives.

560
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:16,879
Speaker 2: Well, maybe because you don't have the heartache of leaving

561
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,679
Speaker 2: behind your loved one, Because I would imagine if you

562
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,359
Speaker 2: are still alive and the love of your life is

563
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:26,639
Speaker 2: still alive and you know you're dying, there's got to

564
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:30,439
Speaker 2: be heartache associated that you're leaving them, you know. Like

565
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 2: there are some of those stories where like they're older

566
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:36,640
Speaker 2: and they die within a certain time of each other

567
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,719
Speaker 2: because they die of a heart break of broken heart.

568
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 2: That's my hypothesis is that maybe it's less painful because

569
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 2: you're not attached to somebody.

570
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 3: No, And that actually breaks my heart. It was like, oh,

571
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 3: I wish I loved my husband a little less.

572
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you love Patrick so much, you like

573
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 2: don't want to live without him at all, whatsoever.

574
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 3: I will die of a broken heart if he I.

575
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 2: Don't think you're going to die. I think you will

576
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 2: be you will be okay, But you don't. I if

577
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 2: I'm nine, you're like looking at me. I'm like, you

578
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 2: will be okay, and you're looking at me like, no, no, won't.

579
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 2: I'm going to fall over dead? And don't you say otherwise?

580
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 3: Yeah?

581
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 2: You just want to. You're like, I really feel like

582
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 2: the vibes I get from you. You're like, if something

583
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,560
Speaker 2: happens to Patrick, like bury me with them, you.

584
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:25,880
Speaker 3: Get those vibes. Because I've probably said that too far.

585
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 3: But also, if I'm ninety five, I've lived my yes,

586
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,200
Speaker 3: so like it's if my husband dies, take me with him.

587
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:39,960
Speaker 3: If I'm thirty six, if something happens to him today,

588
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I have to knock on wood. I

589
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 3: don't want to also die. But I also that would

590
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 3: be a box full of darkness that I don't think

591
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 3: would end up being a gift.

592
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 2: That wouldn't be a yes, thank you.

593
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 3: No, So I think I would. I would hope that

594
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 3: I would still live my life, but I think it

595
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 3: would it would take some time for me to get there,

596
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,480
Speaker 3: so this is all so interesting. It was saying that

597
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 3: because people who are single don't have the one, they

598
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 3: end up having the ones multiple so their relation they

599
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 3: have they have deeper, stronger and more like relationships in general,

600
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 3: friends and stuff like that community because they aren't tied

601
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 3: to the one. So in later in life, sometimes being

602
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 3: single ends up being more of a blessing because you

603
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 3: have more people around you.

604
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:31,360
Speaker 2: Interesting.

605
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, so do you guys, do you really want to

606
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,440
Speaker 3: find somebody and get married?

607
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 2: I have the ones, Yeah, I have the ones plural.

608
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:46,360
Speaker 3: And it was saying like people who are like alone

609
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 3: later in life, they can't assume somebody's going to take

610
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 3: care of them, so they do kind of have that

611
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,120
Speaker 3: forethought of I want to put things in order, so

612
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,520
Speaker 3: I am taking care of well. So like you were

613
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 3: saying with like the assisted living, they've thought more about

614
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 3: those things than somebody who just assumes that their kids

615
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:03,720
Speaker 3: or that their spouse is going to take care of them.

616
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 2: This is taking me back to The Correspondent, which is

617
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:12,960
Speaker 2: a book that I read before the latest book, like

618
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 2: I shard it a few weeks ago.

619
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 3: Are you done with it?

620
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 2: And it's so good? Without giving anything away, because I

621
00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 2: highly recommend y'all read it. It is about an older

622
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:26,600
Speaker 2: woman and she obviously correspondents, she writes a lot, but

623
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 2: she's alone for her later years in life. But now

624
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 2: that I'm thinking about it, she did have this community,

625
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 2: but she had to be intentional about it. But she

626
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 2: was intentional about staying in touch and corresponding with people

627
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 2: and having these relationships with people. And you know, she

628
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 2: was pursued in certain ways, but she had to make

629
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 2: certain decisions that were best for herself. But anyway, it

630
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 2: just makes me think of how she lived and.

631
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 3: She had that community, so she was yeah, most of.

632
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 2: It through her letters and then later when she needed

633
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 2: more help, she had to help there because she had

634
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 2: some health stuff going on. But I don't know, just

635
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 2: made me think of corresponding with people, staying in touch

636
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 2: with people, being intentional, and that's what she would sit

637
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 2: down every morning at ten am with her pen and

638
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 2: paper and write. And maybe that's not your thing, but

639
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 2: is it? How are you going to be intentional about

640
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 2: keeping in touch with people.

641
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:24,080
Speaker 3: And maintaining a community.

642
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 2: So this is the older we get it. It's easy

643
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 2: to isolate and be alone and not have or and

644
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 2: die very lonely.

645
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 3: And the more comfortable. Yeah, I can see myself like

646
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 3: I like to stay in my house a lot, and

647
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:40,480
Speaker 3: I can see myself like, I'm happy with my husband,

648
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 3: So I'm just gonna like stay at my house and

649
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:45,719
Speaker 3: not purposely isolate. But I can see that easily happening,

650
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 3: especially later in life when it's harder to do things.

651
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 3: So this is just a word to the wise that

652
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 3: just because you have a partner, it doesn't necessarily mean

653
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 3: that that's going to translate to what you hope. And

654
00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 3: so keeping those relationships is.

655
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 2: Very important, making sure that you have relationships outside of

656
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 2: your yeah, Pardmary partner, because that can be your best friend. Yeah,

657
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 2: but like you need other friends. Yeah, well that's interesting, Kat.

658
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 3: Yeah. And the next time, if you're talking to somebody

659
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 3: about how you don't want kids and they ask you

660
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 3: who's going to take care of you, you can say, well,

661
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 3: there's the study done at Boston University and turns out

662
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 3: people who have kids end up faring far worse than

663
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:34,960
Speaker 3: people who don't have kids. So take that. Yeah, which

664
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 3: it was sad because they were saying how like they

665
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:42,480
Speaker 3: didn't explain why the people without kids had better death experiences,

666
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 3: but they like assumed that people just assume because you

667
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:47,520
Speaker 3: have kids, they're gonna do it, and a lot of

668
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 3: times they don't.

669
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 2: They're not. Yeah, they may not. Yeah, So shout out

670
00:33:51,840 --> 00:34:06,719
Speaker 2: to my parents, you were lucky. Shout out to my parents,

671
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 2: you were lucky you had daughters that took care of you.

672
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,240
Speaker 2: Even though my sister, Oh, I wish I had her permission.

673
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 2: Maybe one day I'll get it to read a letter

674
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,760
Speaker 2: that she wrote. I think it could be very healing

675
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:23,480
Speaker 2: and therapeutic for someone listening if you had a relationship

676
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 2: with one of your parents where you're refrustrated at like

677
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,120
Speaker 2: your childhood, the version you got of them as a child,

678
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 2: and then later as adults you were having to take

679
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 2: care of them because like our dad left, he moved

680
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 2: out when I was nine and my sister was thirteen,

681
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:42,640
Speaker 2: moved out, like sure took care of us in certain ways,

682
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:44,399
Speaker 2: but like we lived with our mom the entire time.

683
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:46,920
Speaker 2: There wasn't like shared custody. There wasn't.

684
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 3: Your sister probably has a very different memory of that

685
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:54,120
Speaker 3: because thirteen, I feel like you would really really remember. Yes,

686
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 3: mine is like can see you can forget some of it.

687
00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:00,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, And my sister, speaking of writing things, like she

688
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 2: will write stuff just for herself like that nobody else

689
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:08,359
Speaker 2: will ever see, because that's therapeutic for her. She'll write songs,

690
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 2: she will write poems, she'll write letters, just stuff that's

691
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 2: art to her, but it's not meant for public consumption.

692
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 2: But maybe I could get her permission in this case,

693
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 2: although it might be too long, and then some people

694
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 2: were like what, But I do think it could be powerful,

695
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,160
Speaker 2: And that's why I wish it's almost like one day

696
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:30,479
Speaker 2: my sister she should publish like a book that's full

697
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:35,400
Speaker 2: of just all this stuff, because I think while it

698
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 2: was therapeutic for her, could be therapeutic to others. But

699
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:41,279
Speaker 2: that's one way where my sister expressed her frustration in

700
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 2: the time that we had to take care of my dad.

701
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:44,480
Speaker 2: And it's easy for me to say now because he's

702
00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 2: passed away, but like we were in the thick of

703
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,279
Speaker 2: it with him at times, like it was so hard

704
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 2: and emotional, and then the stuff comes up from childhood

705
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:56,840
Speaker 2: where you're angry and we're like, what you like straight

706
00:35:56,920 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 2: up left us for another woman, and you know, our

707
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 2: mom did her best, and yeah he didn't, Like I

708
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:07,440
Speaker 2: always feel like I have to, you know, pump him

709
00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 2: up a little bit, like he didn't like totally walk

710
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 2: out and never talk to us again and paid for

711
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 2: college and stuff like that where it really counted now,

712
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:17,719
Speaker 2: he abandoned us and he walked out, And I think

713
00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 2: he could have done it in a better way. I

714
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 2: get it. People followed love You maybe want to move on,

715
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:24,239
Speaker 2: that's fine. It was just how it was done was

716
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 2: so ill. But they were working with the tools that

717
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:31,279
Speaker 2: they have, which were clearly clearly no tools at all.

718
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 2: But that during that season, I remember us both being

719
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:39,160
Speaker 2: very angry, and my sister wrote a whole letter about it,

720
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 2: and I don't know if she ever gave it to

721
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:42,719
Speaker 2: him or it was just she.

722
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:44,239
Speaker 3: Shared it with you at the time, or she shared

723
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 3: it with you later.

724
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:46,879
Speaker 2: She shared it with me later of like, oh, well,

725
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 2: here's something I wrote during that season. And I remember

726
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 2: the exact season of it being like because we were

727
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 2: I was living in Nashville, our dad was living in Austin.

728
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 2: She was living in Colorado. So we were tag teaming like, hey,

729
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:58,560
Speaker 2: I'm playing to Austin. I can take these dates and

730
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:00,319
Speaker 2: I'll go into the studio and do the show there,

731
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 2: pipe up with Nashville, like we were still working, she's

732
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 2: got four kids. They have a full time business in Colorado,

733
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:10,279
Speaker 2: like a design firm, a coffee shop, like, she's a husband, like,

734
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 2: she's got multiple things. So it's sort of like, well,

735
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,879
Speaker 2: you cover these dates, we'll tag team. Like I would

736
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:17,319
Speaker 2: like fly into Austin like high five my sister and

737
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:19,719
Speaker 2: she'd go to the airport and leave. So it was

738
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,520
Speaker 2: like she had just had a rough go and she

739
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:24,759
Speaker 2: was like, FYI, this has been rough.

740
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:26,880
Speaker 3: So you weren't even there together to like be with

741
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:27,279
Speaker 3: each other.

742
00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:29,359
Speaker 2: Out of it. I guess we were maybe a little bit,

743
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 2: but yeah, much of it was in passing, and that's

744
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 2: when eventually we had to decide to just move him.

745
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 2: We were like, we have to move him somewhere, and

746
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:39,879
Speaker 2: Colorado didn't make sense because of the super cold, icy

747
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 2: weather for an elderly person isn't or an elderly sick person.

748
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,880
Speaker 2: Nashville has seasons, but it just seemed a little more doable.

749
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,839
Speaker 2: So we decided to move him to Nashville because we

750
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 2: were exhausted. We were like, we can't keep this up,

751
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:55,440
Speaker 2: and he clearly isn't going to be able to take

752
00:37:55,440 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 2: care of himself. But that our child anger reared its head,

753
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,440
Speaker 2: and in those moments, it was it's almost like you

754
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,720
Speaker 2: kind of wanted to just like I mean, I wouldn't,

755
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:09,279
Speaker 2: but I just wanted to like throw everything down, yeah,

756
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,759
Speaker 2: walk out and be like, yeah, where were you? But

757
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:13,439
Speaker 2: now we're here.

758
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well it's like he knew that your mom was

759
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 3: going to take care of you, versus like you were like,

760
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:21,479
Speaker 3: well if we don't do it, who will?

761
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 2: Yeah?

762
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:24,800
Speaker 3: Is that? And I imagine you had a different experience

763
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:27,719
Speaker 3: taking care of your mom than your dad. Yeah.

764
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 2: I never had those feelings of where were you? No,

765
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 2: I had to do the same exact things for my mom.

766
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 2: It was just as taxing. But you're right, I never

767
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 2: had what would be the word resentment.

768
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:38,000
Speaker 3: Yeah.

769
00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't have the moments of resentment. I had

770
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 2: more of like, oh my gosh, Mom, I'm so sorry,

771
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,319
Speaker 2: Like I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And sometimes when

772
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 2: i'd be doing the exact same thing to my dad,

773
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 2: I'd be like, it's so freaking annoyed. Yeah, but I

774
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:54,319
Speaker 2: mean I felt bad for him too, but it was

775
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,200
Speaker 2: a different You're right, I didn't have it with my

776
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:59,400
Speaker 2: mom like I did my dad. So anyway, they got lucky,

777
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 2: I guess because we did. But you're right, there's your

778
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,320
Speaker 2: dad can't you wouldn't.

779
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:06,960
Speaker 3: And that's also fair, Like it's complicated. So if you

780
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,800
Speaker 3: do have a family member that completely abandoned you, I

781
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,919
Speaker 3: wouldn't blame you for not taking care of them later

782
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 3: in life, Like it doesn't have to be like, well

783
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:17,720
Speaker 3: you have to do that. So your dad did get lucky.

784
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 3: Now I know you had a relationship with him at

785
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:21,880
Speaker 3: the time too. Yes, so it's a little bit different.

786
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:26,120
Speaker 3: But Maggie, my cat just walked in. But yeah, your

787
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:28,720
Speaker 3: your family was lucky to have you and your sister.

788
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 2: Oh, well, thank you. I'm sort of joking when I

789
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:35,200
Speaker 2: say that, but I do they realize that they they were,

790
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:37,720
Speaker 2: And I guess in a way, yes, thank you. I

791
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:41,759
Speaker 2: was lucky to get to do that for them, as

792
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:46,360
Speaker 2: difficult as it was, like, yes, thank you. It taught

793
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:50,799
Speaker 2: me so much about what unconditional love can look like

794
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:52,279
Speaker 2: and humility.

795
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, look at you turning that around. Well the more

796
00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 3: you know, just trying to keep you up to day

797
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:00,960
Speaker 3: on them latest research.

798
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 2: When I got to figure out, like, do you want

799
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:04,240
Speaker 2: to carry it again?

800
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:06,920
Speaker 3: It's risky we.

801
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,719
Speaker 2: Do have I know we were laughing earlier and then

802
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:12,120
Speaker 2: it got a little serious, but we do have a

803
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:16,359
Speaker 2: fun voicemail from a listener talking about some of the

804
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 2: background noise. I know we just mentioned Maggie walked in,

805
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 2: and I don't know if y'all could hear that at all,

806
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 2: but we'll just give y'all some behind the scenes. I

807
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 2: have a door that sometimes she'll push open and it

808
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:29,440
Speaker 2: goes and it creaked, and so we knew Maggie walked in,

809
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:32,680
Speaker 2: but maybe y'all couldn't hear that. But sometimes behind the scenes,

810
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 2: we've got laughter in the room. And so there's Cryocat

811
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 2: running the cameras, and then Shannon, who's googling stuff for

812
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:42,360
Speaker 2: us or looking up other things, or handling the recording,

813
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:44,799
Speaker 2: or maybe even trying to handle the animals. Because this

814
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 2: is an open studio, all all are welcome, so sometimes

815
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:52,839
Speaker 2: you may hear the pets, but you also may hear

816
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:56,280
Speaker 2: Cat and Shannon laughing. And so that's what this voicemail

817
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 2: is about.

818
00:40:57,239 --> 00:41:00,759
Speaker 5: I just wanted to call to say who I think

819
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:05,320
Speaker 5: it has to be, Shannon. I'm assuming, but periodically throughout

820
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 5: your episodes, we can hear somebody bust out laughing in

821
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:15,879
Speaker 5: the background. Please never change that, never edit that out

822
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:19,240
Speaker 5: because it is amazing. It makes me smile, it makes

823
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 5: me laugh out loud. Obviously. I love hearing both of

824
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,759
Speaker 5: you as an Amy and cat laugh. I love all

825
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 5: of your giggles. But when you hear Shannon's again, I

826
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:33,880
Speaker 5: think if Shannon, when you hear Shannon's laugh from the distance,

827
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:38,800
Speaker 5: it makes it even more plenty. So please, please, please,

828
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:42,320
Speaker 5: never ever ever edit her out. It's amazing.

829
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:47,560
Speaker 2: So it's definitely Shannon's laugh and Cryocat's laugh a lot

830
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 2: of the times. So Shannon, do we have her name?

831
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 2: Did she say it Lindsey, So shout out lindsay. We

832
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 2: will not edit that out.

833
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks for making the podcast better. Guys.

834
00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:01,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love kryle Okat goes. I think it's charming.

835
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:04,840
Speaker 2: It is. I thought Maggie was going to come and

836
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:06,480
Speaker 2: sit my lap here for a second, but she went

837
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:07,399
Speaker 2: over to the other chair.

838
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 3: She wanted to be alone.

839
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:11,480
Speaker 2: She wanted to have her own chair in the studio.

840
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 2: But we love hearing from y'all, and we love hearing

841
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 2: what y'all are enjoying or maybe even not enjoying. We

842
00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:21,360
Speaker 2: can take constructive feedback as well.

843
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:24,279
Speaker 3: So very recently we got some and we shared it

844
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:27,759
Speaker 3: with you guys, send it on over. That was constructive.

845
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 2: That one wasn't really, but I will gladly take it.

846
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:32,799
Speaker 2: Like if you or if there's something we've done in

847
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:34,799
Speaker 2: the past that maybe we are not doing, they're like,

848
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 2: oh I missed this, you know, like I know we

849
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:39,279
Speaker 2: shared Anna's quotes, but on the fifth thing, we still

850
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:42,239
Speaker 2: always do a quote. Y'all may have things in your

851
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:45,719
Speaker 2: mind that we're not thinking of. So we want to

852
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 2: hear from you. This is your podcast.

853
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 3: As well, so everybody's podcast.

854
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, so hit us up. Hey, they're at Feeling Things

855
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 2: podcast dot com, or you can call and leave us

856
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:01,200
Speaker 2: a voicemail eight seven seven two oh seven to seven seven.

857
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:04,719
Speaker 2: We would absolutely love to hear from you. And we

858
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 2: got a voicemail from I thought you'd freak out. It's

859
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 2: not one we'll play on the show, but I'll have

860
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:11,919
Speaker 2: to play it for you later because you haven't gotten

861
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:13,919
Speaker 2: to hear it yet. But shout out if you happen

862
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:17,000
Speaker 2: to be listening. One of our listeners sent us a

863
00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:19,839
Speaker 2: quick little voicemail about how her nephew is on Love

864
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:22,920
Speaker 2: is Blind and that's your show. I don't ever watch it,

865
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,239
Speaker 2: so I didn't know you may know who her nephew is,

866
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:28,680
Speaker 2: but I wish it was our show, ours together, we

867
00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:29,799
Speaker 2: could share watch it.

868
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:32,520
Speaker 3: I wonder if my nephew was on that show, would

869
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:34,360
Speaker 3: I watch it or I would be like, oh, I can't.

870
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 2: She did like it was like fun to sit down

871
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 2: and watch with like her daughter.

872
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:41,439
Speaker 3: I was like, that's die. Wouldn't that be her daughter's cousin? Yes,

873
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:42,320
Speaker 3: that fun.

874
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:44,080
Speaker 2: That her nephew's awesome.

875
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:48,359
Speaker 3: Okay, well as long as everything it just is like.

876
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,920
Speaker 2: If her nephew was the one guy that's like I

877
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 2: need to be with a girl that does pilates and

878
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:54,160
Speaker 2: CrossFit every day, I'd be mortified.

879
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:57,759
Speaker 3: But no, there's some just cringey parts of that show,

880
00:43:57,840 --> 00:43:59,919
Speaker 3: like when they're like falling in love in the pot,

881
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,919
Speaker 3: it's they like in this they can't see each other.

882
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 3: Some of it I have to fast forward because I'm like,

883
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:07,120
Speaker 3: I feel like I shouldn't be watching this. This is

884
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 3: like an intimate moment, you know. Yeah, so I think

885
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:11,120
Speaker 3: if I knew the person.

886
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 2: Or probably like what's the what they mean? Cat like,

887
00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:14,960
Speaker 2: we're I'm sure for some people are like I love

888
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,680
Speaker 2: stuff like that, or I love Bridgardton, or I love

889
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:19,840
Speaker 2: all these shows we're like fast forward.

890
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 3: Well, it's like not even sexually intimate. It's just like awkward.

891
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 3: You're saying it's awkward. You're saying I love you. You've

892
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,399
Speaker 3: never really met this person, and when they meet each other,

893
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:31,520
Speaker 3: they're all like sweaty and nervous, and I'm like, this

894
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 3: should be a moment that you get to have by.

895
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 2: Yourself, right, Like it feels weird to be watching it, but.

896
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:37,600
Speaker 3: I still watch it.

897
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:40,120
Speaker 2: That's what you love. Yeah, I don't know why I

898
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 2: haven't ever been able to get into.

899
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:44,399
Speaker 3: It, but I just had a thought that doesn't come up,

900
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 3: that did come up earlier, that I have to share

901
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:48,880
Speaker 3: it because I kind of blanked. I don't even know

902
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:50,759
Speaker 3: if it was on this episode, but I need to

903
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:52,880
Speaker 3: tell people. If you're trying to sign up for the

904
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 3: newsletter that comes out every other Wednesday, the link is

905
00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 3: in the show notes.

906
00:44:57,680 --> 00:44:58,240
Speaker 2: Oh sweet.

907
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, So if you don't know where, or you don't

908
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:03,600
Speaker 3: have social media so you can't sign up on Instagram,

909
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:04,840
Speaker 3: the link is in the show notes.

910
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,640
Speaker 2: Wait easier than Instagram, yeah, because a lot of people

911
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:09,719
Speaker 2: aren't on on the cruise, like, I met so many

912
00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:11,720
Speaker 2: people that are like, oh, I don't have social media,

913
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, but they still live their listeners.

914
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:19,680
Speaker 3: Good for them, I know, good for good for you.

915
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:20,720
Speaker 2: That's great.

916
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,000
Speaker 3: Was the demographic like those people were they.

917
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:25,960
Speaker 2: People of all ages there? I mean there wasn't kids

918
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 2: on the boat, but I mean there were people in

919
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:29,800
Speaker 2: their thirties and people in their eighties.

920
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,320
Speaker 3: Well, I just wonder the demographic of people saying I

921
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 3: don't have social media. Oh I'm more older. I don't

922
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:34,880
Speaker 3: don't know.

923
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 2: No, I mean they were. I mean I wasn't like

924
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:40,440
Speaker 2: I was like, oh that tracks, you know, Like I

925
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 2: was more like, oh, wow, you don't have social media.

926
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 2: So I would imagine they were around my age. Ish.

927
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:50,040
Speaker 3: So does Stevenson have social media? No? Okay, what is

928
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 3: your Do you have a rule on that?

929
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:53,759
Speaker 2: No? He just hasn't been into it. He for a

930
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:57,799
Speaker 2: long time was terrified of TikTok because of China, and

931
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 2: then somehow I conmitt to be scared of Snapchat because

932
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 2: I said it had something to do with Russia.

933
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:05,680
Speaker 3: It's great fair.

934
00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:09,240
Speaker 2: So now, I mean I don't know that his friends

935
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 2: are that into Instagram.

936
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:14,360
Speaker 3: I wonder I want to resit between boys and girls,

937
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:16,960
Speaker 3: because that is like has to be so hard to

938
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:17,480
Speaker 3: manage that.

939
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:19,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, he's definitely brought up that his friends have

940
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:23,600
Speaker 2: a lot of it, but he also has his own

941
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:28,400
Speaker 2: anxiety around people online. Like he got a text the

942
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:30,480
Speaker 2: other day because he does he has a cell phone.

943
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:36,600
Speaker 2: He's fifteen. Someone texted him a scammer was trying to

944
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,560
Speaker 2: text and start dialogue with him and said something about

945
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 2: asking his age, and Stevenson's response was that's classified. And

946
00:46:47,719 --> 00:46:49,920
Speaker 2: I was like, that's the perfect response. I said, actually,

947
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:52,200
Speaker 2: the best response is no response at all. You just

948
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:53,840
Speaker 2: don't even need to respond to lead it. But I

949
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:57,880
Speaker 2: guess if you're gonna reply, replying with that's classified is

950
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:01,160
Speaker 2: perfect because you're not giving them just like, make that

951
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 2: your blanket answer. That's classified. Yeah, that's classified.

952
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:05,720
Speaker 3: As it should be. He's a minor.

953
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:10,680
Speaker 2: Yeah weirdo. Okay, well, good for him, Good for him.

954
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,680
Speaker 2: So far it's worked, but I don't know how much

955
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 2: longer that's gonna last. And I do think it's right.

956
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:17,120
Speaker 2: I do think there's a different troomed boys and girls.

957
00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 3: I can't imagine being thinking about how middle school was

958
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 3: for me. I just can't imagine being in middle school

959
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 3: on having that. I don't want to think about it,

960
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:28,880
Speaker 3: and so I wonder like how certain people manage that

961
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:30,960
Speaker 3: because I know kids have it.

962
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:36,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't need that topic for another time, well

963
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:42,040
Speaker 2: another study, yeah yeah, okay. So takeaways practice your whimsies

964
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 2: this week and practice your yes, thank.

965
00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:50,000
Speaker 3: You, And if you don't want kids, that's okay. You

966
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 3: will be fine, more than fine.

967
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 2: Someone will take care of you somehow, and you apparently

968
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:57,799
Speaker 2: will be okay. You'll figure it out, You'll figure it out.

969
00:47:58,000 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna repeat everything.

970
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:02,800
Speaker 3: Okay.

971
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:04,320
Speaker 2: Well, wherever you are, we hope you have in the

972
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 2: day you need to have. Bye.

973
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:13,080
Speaker 3: Bye,