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Speaker 1: I called out my sister's extreme jealousy. She did not

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Speaker 1: take it. Well. Well, that's all I got, and that's

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Speaker 1: all I have to say about that. Hi, I'll try

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Speaker 1: to keep it as short as I can. I promise

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Speaker 1: I'll clarify things if there are confusions, and sorry about

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Speaker 1: them in advance. I'm twenty one female, and I have

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Speaker 1: two siblings. My sister is twenty four and engaged. My

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Speaker 1: brother is twenty eight and married to my sister in

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Speaker 1: law who's twenty five. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 1: user mysterious stock nine four eight on the r slash

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Speaker 1: Okay storytime subreddit. My parents hosted a family luncheon to

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Speaker 1: celebrate my sister's engagement at their house. I went early

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Speaker 1: to help them set up my brother and sister in law,

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Speaker 1: a little bit later than everyone else. My sister and

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Speaker 1: her fiance arrived last. Everything was going well and everyone

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Speaker 1: was happy until my sister got a text and pulled

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Speaker 1: me aside. She asked me if I could go outside

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Speaker 1: and meet a friend of hers who's going to drop

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Speaker 1: off something for her. I did this. Something in question

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Speaker 1: was a big ball of pure happiness. A Saint Bernard

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Speaker 1: dog with a cute little formal tie around his neck.

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Speaker 2: Why can't anyone do that for me? A big ball

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Speaker 2: of energy and happiness.

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Speaker 1: As adorable as he was, I couldn't bring him in

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Speaker 1: because my sister in law is allergic. Her allergy is

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Speaker 1: not severe, but still everyone in the family knows of it.

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Speaker 1: I told the friend to please wait while I talked

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Speaker 1: to my sister. She did not. I texted my sister

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Speaker 1: that I can't bring him inside. She texted that it

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Speaker 1: was fine to bring it in because it's a surprise

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Speaker 1: and he's the newest addition to the family. Really quick,

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Speaker 1: as someone who is allergic to dogs, what do you

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Speaker 1: have to say about.

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Speaker 2: This bringing that dog? I'm like, you know what, I'll

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Speaker 2: keep my disc is My life is worth it. My

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Speaker 2: life is worth seeing a precious dog. I am allergic

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Speaker 2: to dogs, and it depends. But you've seen me. I

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Speaker 2: look I get ugly. Yeah, I look like one too.

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Speaker 2: What am I allergic? My allergies hit.

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Speaker 1: I insisted that I cannot bring the dog inside, and

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Speaker 1: then I texted my brother about it because it had

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Speaker 1: been ten minutes and I'm standing in the driveway with

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Speaker 1: a big dog that would not stop liaking my legs,

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Speaker 1: not knowing what to do about it from what I

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Speaker 1: was told inside. My brother pulled my sister aside and

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Speaker 1: asked her not to bring the dog in, that she

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Speaker 1: knows his wife is allergic, and she refused, saying that

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Speaker 1: it's an open space and that sister in law will

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Speaker 1: be fine. He then told her the news that sister

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Speaker 1: in law is pregnant. I already knew, and they were

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Speaker 1: waiting until she passed her first trimester. My sister then

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Speaker 1: went outside, dragged the dog, and then me in when

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Speaker 1: I resisted, my brother, seeing this, excused himself and left

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Speaker 1: with my sister in law. We tried resuming the lunch

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Speaker 1: after that, but it was awkward at best. When my

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Speaker 1: sister and her fiance cut the cake, she grabbed her

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Speaker 1: a glass of champagne to make a toast. The toast

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Speaker 1: was her rambling about how selfish my brother and his

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Speaker 1: wife were, that they couldn't let her have one day

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Speaker 1: to herself and had to ruin and overshadow it that

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Speaker 1: they were not the first or last couple to get pregnant.

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Speaker 1: Both of my parents tried to shush her, but she

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Speaker 1: was on a roll and went on to call sister

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Speaker 1: in law and attention seeker that just had to give

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Speaker 1: the family the first grandchild. I finally had enough and

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Speaker 1: told her that green isn't a good color on her ooh,

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Speaker 1: and that she was going to choke on her jealousy

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Speaker 1: one day, and then I got up and left. She

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Speaker 1: called me a be on my way out. My mom

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Speaker 1: called me after and told me that it was a

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Speaker 1: bit harsh, even if she was harsher. She also suggested

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Speaker 1: that the three of us siblings talk it out after

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Speaker 1: things settled a bit. My dad is staying neutral. I

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Speaker 1: haven't heard from relatives that were at the luncheon. Am

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Speaker 1: I the A hole and we do have an update,

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Speaker 1: I'm saying tentatively right now, not the A hole, not

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Speaker 1: the A hole. But again, because honestly, the fact that

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Speaker 1: she was pregnant and you brought the dog in anyway

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Speaker 1: and she has an alergie, because I'm pretty sure that

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Speaker 1: stuff can affect like the pregnancy and stuff. I don't

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Speaker 1: think it's very common, but it ken just in the

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Speaker 1: interest of being careful. I think it was really mad

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Speaker 1: disrespectful to after you were told specifically not to bring

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Speaker 1: the dog inside because she's pregnant, to bring the dog

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Speaker 1: inside anyway, and then of course they left. I would

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Speaker 1: leave if that happened.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the roles were reversed of my partner who was pregnant,

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Speaker 2: and I'd be like, yeah, I bring that dog in,

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Speaker 2: but I might okey my distance. But if this is

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Speaker 2: gonna affect my partner and like she's pregnant, no, I

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Speaker 2: would say no.

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Speaker 1: All right, let's get in the update. Hi guys, it's

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Speaker 1: been around a month or so, and to be honest,

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Speaker 1: I don't have that much of an update, but a

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Speaker 1: lot of people have been asking me about the dog

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Speaker 1: o and it's easier than telling people individually. So here

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Speaker 1: it is. First things first, the update on my sibling situation.

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Speaker 1: My brother and sister in law have gone low contact

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Speaker 1: with my sister until they get a proper apology, which

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Speaker 1: hasn't happened yet, but I think it'll happen soon. My

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Speaker 1: sister has been talking to my mom about wanting to

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Speaker 1: be in our future nephew and slash niece's life, so

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Speaker 1: there's that at least. Also, my sister in law is

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Speaker 1: officially out of her first trimester and she and the

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Speaker 1: baby are healthy and thriving. Thankfully. She has been having

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Speaker 1: a bit of a hard time when it comes to

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Speaker 1: smells and pregnancy stuff, but I think that's to be expected.

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Speaker 1: Don't come at me, That's just what I've read. We've

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Speaker 1: also been planning a gender reveal party for next month,

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Speaker 1: so we're just for focusing on the positive stuff for now.

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Speaker 1: As for my sister and I, I did send her

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Speaker 1: an apology for how harsh I was with her at

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Speaker 1: the party, and she accepted it and apologized for calling

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Speaker 1: me a bee. But it's been so dang weird when

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Speaker 1: it comes to our dynamic, especially since she's suddenly all

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Speaker 1: up been my business about who I'm sleeping with. But

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Speaker 1: that's a whole other issue. Now for the awaited update Barkley,

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Speaker 1: I wonder if they named him after Chuck Charles Barkley.

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Speaker 1: Turns out the big fluffball has an adorable bark, one

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't expect when seeing him, hence his name. Oh,

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Speaker 1: they didn't name him after Charles Barkley.

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Speaker 2: That's fine, Barkley is an adorable name.

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Speaker 1: As some of you predicted, my sister was not up

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Speaker 1: for the massive job that is taking care of a

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Speaker 1: Saint Bernard. In a week and a half after the party,

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Speaker 1: she called and asked me to find him another home.

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Speaker 1: I volunteer at a shelter and know a lot of

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Speaker 1: people who would love to adopt. By the way, we

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Speaker 1: want to adopt you into our family by and you

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Speaker 1: can do so by joining us live every weekday at

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Speaker 1: three PMPST. When we go live on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch,

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Speaker 1: and TikTok. Just tap our profile.

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Speaker 2: Easy on all four of them, even try yeh, do

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Speaker 2: it all four at the same time. Do it for Barkley.

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Speaker 1: I mean, might even be by right now, But before

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Speaker 1: you go check on that, we have a little bit

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Speaker 1: of story left.

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Speaker 2: It seems like everything was a heat of the moment

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Speaker 2: kind of thing then kind of blew out of proportion

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Speaker 2: when it shouldn't have. And things are still like settling.

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Speaker 2: But things will be fine. That's literally what I'm taking it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think things will inevitably chill out. I'm hoping

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Speaker 1: this story ends with Barkley going to ope A sa

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Speaker 1: Bernard is a lot. That's a lot of dog.

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Speaker 2: It's a lot a dog and a lot of fur.

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Speaker 2: I'll tell you that right now. I don't want to

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Speaker 2: live around that.

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Speaker 1: But man, they are so adorable. They're very cute. I

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Speaker 1: love big doufist dogs. Op not an ahole. I think

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Speaker 1: calling your sister jealous after she goes on a tirade

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Speaker 1: about your brother and his wife that she had already

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Speaker 1: just disrespected, I don't think that makes you an a

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Speaker 1: hole at all.

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Speaker 2: Guess what, this was just a sibling This is just

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Speaker 2: a sibling argument, and I think this is all going

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Speaker 2: to be fine.

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Speaker 1: I wonder if she's the golden child, because it was

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Speaker 1: weird to me too that her mom was like, it

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Speaker 1: was a little harsh, but it's like, did you just

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Speaker 1: hear how she went off on our brother?

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Speaker 2: And maybe because op just didn't like react as the

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Speaker 2: way the sister reacted, maybe your sister reacted like very

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Speaker 2: like out of pocket, and then like Opie was like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: this is just another argument that we usually have. So

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Speaker 2: I don't know, but this seems like a very like

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Speaker 2: on a scale of one to ten from arguments that

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Speaker 2: we always get, this seems like a three.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is gonna blow over for sure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone's gonna be fine as long as everyone is

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Speaker 2: communicating and everyone is on the same page, which it

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Speaker 2: seems like, which is good.

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Speaker 1: Good, let's finish this story. I honestly wanted to keep

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Speaker 1: him myself because I've grown attached. But I live in

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Speaker 1: an apartment right now, and not only would it be impossible,

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Speaker 1: it would also be cruel to keep him cooped up

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Speaker 1: like that, which a lot of people who live in

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Speaker 1: apartments could learn something about. Luckily, a friend of a

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Speaker 1: friend has this space for him to be happy and

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Speaker 1: safe and took him in with the promise of letting

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Speaker 1: me see him whenever we're both free, and now I

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Speaker 1: get random picks and videos of Barkley in his element,

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Speaker 1: all happy in bark fighting with the guys next doors,

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Speaker 1: neighbors yor key, don't worry, there's fences between them. So Yeah,

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Speaker 1: just wanted to say thank you guys for all the

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Speaker 1: advice and opinions. I appreciate all of you. And that

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Speaker 1: was good story. That's when I want a wonderful story.

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Speaker 2: That was I mean, there's always gonna be a little

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Speaker 2: spiciness in there, but that was mild.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think you know, no one's I mean

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Speaker 1: they're going low contact with the sister, which I would

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Speaker 1: do too if I found out. She made a whole

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Speaker 1: spiel about how weird like what, like, I literally disregarded

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Speaker 1: the health and well being of my pregnant wife and

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Speaker 1: her unborn child.

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Speaker 2: You need to say sorry, Yeah, you need to apologize,

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Speaker 2: but I think it's gonna be coming. I think just

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Speaker 2: some space was needed. Great apologies are in pursuit or

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Speaker 2: I already have been done. And everyone loves everyone and

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Speaker 2: Barkley is a nice home. Yeah. I think it's just

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Speaker 2: like a sibling argument. Yeah, there's like a simple sibling argument.

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Speaker 2: No one got hurt, everyone is okay. I think for

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Speaker 2: the baby, I think everyone just wants like, well, let's

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Speaker 2: just focus on that. After that's done, things are gonna

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Speaker 2: blow over. YadA, YadA, YadA. That's what I can say.

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Speaker 1: And that is the end of that story. My brother

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Speaker 1: is holding a fourteen year grudge and I don't think

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Speaker 1: it can be fixed.

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Speaker 2: That's literally a teenager.

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Speaker 1: That's a whole teenager.

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Speaker 2: Fix it.

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Speaker 1: This is gonna be a long one, even for Reddit standards.

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Speaker 1: I twenty three female, am the youngest in my immediate family.

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Speaker 1: I have two older brothers, twenty five male and twenty

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Speaker 1: seven male, and my parents fifty five male and fifty

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Speaker 1: four female. To make this easier for everyone involved, I'll

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Speaker 1: call my oldest brother Andy and the younger one ed

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Speaker 1: by the way. This comes from user mad bro throwaway

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Speaker 1: two on the r slash Okay Storytime subreddit. So Andy

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Speaker 1: has nearly a decade and a half grudge against most

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Speaker 1: of our family for something that happened around fourteen years ago.

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Speaker 1: It's gotten so bad that he limits contact with our parents,

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Speaker 1: a lot of uncles and aunts, some cousins, and nearly

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Speaker 1: didn't invite them to his wedding. A year back in

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Speaker 1: twenty ten, a lot of our family set up a

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Speaker 1: vacation trip abroad to the United States. Pretty Much everyone

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Speaker 1: was stoked to go since we were going to Florida

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Speaker 1: during the holiday season from my country. Since we were

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Speaker 1: all under sixteen at the time, we had to get

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Speaker 1: travel passports and applied months before the trip. Eventually all

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Speaker 1: the prepping was finished and we were just waiting for

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Speaker 1: our passports, which took some time to process through, but

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Speaker 1: eventually we got them in person by visiting home affairs.

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Speaker 1: The problem started when Andy's application had somehow gotten lost

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Speaker 1: during the process, and the only option at that point

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Speaker 1: was to restart the process entirely for him. This was

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Speaker 1: incredibly rare and no one knew how this happened. The

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Speaker 1: paperwork just vanished but we were already less than a

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Speaker 1: month out of actually heading out for the trip no

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Speaker 1: other options to get this right. So our family had

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Speaker 1: two options. We either canceled the entire thing and probably

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Speaker 1: lose some money and whatever time we invested in this,

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Speaker 1: or we go and do it without him, but leave

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Speaker 1: him with his aunt, who was pregnant with her first

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Speaker 1: kid and would be staying in our home country with

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Speaker 1: her husband. The family chose to go anyways, since everyone

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Speaker 1: was really looking forward to it and the kids would

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Speaker 1: be heartbroken if we all just up and canceled at

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Speaker 1: the last minute. Andy's happiness and excitement for the trip

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Speaker 1: did a complete one eighty into him being bitter and

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Speaker 1: angry about it, which is, you're all under the age

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Speaker 1: of sixteen, totally fair. Our parents, aunts and uncles and

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Speaker 1: grandparents really tried to explain that it wasn't personal and

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Speaker 1: was a complete accident, and that they'd make it up

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Speaker 1: to him in the future, but he was having none

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Speaker 1: of it. See I would have had that. I would

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Speaker 1: have been like, make it up to me in the future. Bet,

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Speaker 1: let's do that. He pretty much stopped talking to everyone,

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Speaker 1: and we all eventually left for the two week trip.

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Speaker 1: Our parents gave our aunt extra money to spoil him

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Speaker 1: and take him out during the two weeks to help

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Speaker 1: make it less unfair for him, but she told us

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Speaker 1: he didn't do anything but stay in her guest room

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Speaker 1: and play his instruments and go on his Xbox three sixty.

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Speaker 1: So our group of over twenty had fun and whatnot,

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Speaker 1: and I admit it was the best vacation we'd ever

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Speaker 1: had as a family. We never got something so extravagant

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Speaker 1: ever again, because all the adults pooled their Christmas bonuses

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Speaker 1: and vacation savings together for this trip. I feel bad

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Speaker 1: for my brother since we visited Disneyland here and just

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Speaker 1: spent the time eating out and at the beach. For

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Speaker 1: a nine year old girl, meeting all the Disney princesses

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Speaker 1: with something out of this world, and it's something I

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Speaker 1: still fondly remember ed. And our male cousins loved SeaWorld

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Speaker 1: and the rides at Disney. Mobile phones weren't as prevalent

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Speaker 1: back then, but we had cameras, so obviously pictures were taken.

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Speaker 1: We got back and my brother was completely ice cold

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Speaker 1: to every single person who went on that trip. He

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Speaker 1: refused to even speak to me or ed for weeks,

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Speaker 1: even after we went back to school. Our parents really

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Speaker 1: felt bad about this and hoped he would get over it,

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Speaker 1: so they tried really hard to talk it through with him.

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Speaker 1: Andy just called them traitorous and that he knew where

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Speaker 1: we all stood.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 1: His anger got so bad that he actually put a

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Speaker 1: few holes in a few doors in the house on

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Speaker 1: his bad days. Oh no, this is a villain origin story.

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Speaker 1: But it sounds like maybe Andy already needed some some guidance.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like, I mean, I don't think you just

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Speaker 1: go from neutral to putting holes in the wall because

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Speaker 1: like you missed one trip, even though it's like apparently

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Speaker 1: the trip trips holes and walls. It's no one's fault.

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Speaker 1: It's got lost. And he's I think, depending on how

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Speaker 1: old he is, I'm assuming he's like fourteen.

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Speaker 2: This is just home alone.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, except he's not happy. Yeah, he's really mad. He

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Speaker 1: wasn't home alone. He was home with his pregnant aunt.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is just home alone. But like realistically, and

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Speaker 2: this guy, everyone wanted to go have a good time

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Speaker 2: at Disney, at Sea World, go eat some good food,

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Speaker 2: and he just was home. Would I be holding this

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Speaker 2: grudge forever?

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Speaker 1: Fourteen years is a long time to be mad about this,

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Speaker 1: for sure, I don't know. Whenever our parents tried to

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Speaker 1: calm him down and reprimand him, he would just scream

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Speaker 1: at them and tell him they have nothing on him.

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Speaker 1: That became his go to instant argument ender. Even if

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Speaker 1: he was in the wrong, it always came back to

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Speaker 1: this trip and how he'd never be able to experience it. Ever,

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Speaker 1: whenever we were at family events from that point on,

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Speaker 1: he'd always scream at everyone to shut up. If anyone

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Speaker 1: even so much as brought that trip up. He ripped

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Speaker 1: up pictures we'd had printed and tore up one of

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Speaker 1: my plush he's from the trip. This is like guidance

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Speaker 1: counselor therapy type situations here for young Andy. He has

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Speaker 1: every right to be frustrated, and you know you should.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you did miss out and it would feel bad.

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Speaker 1: But he's not processing this correctly.

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Speaker 2: This is not the way to like again, this is

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Speaker 2: on the parents of trying to like make it up

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Speaker 2: to him, like, hey, we're gonna make up to you,

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Speaker 2: but like maybe you should have told him outright, like

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Speaker 2: what you're gonna do, But the kid's gonna be upset.

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Speaker 2: Like a kid adult child. He missed out and it

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Speaker 2: was due to literally like just crappy, crappy thing, like

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Speaker 2: he had no control over it.

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Speaker 1: The ding dang government lost his piper went at the

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Speaker 1: short end of the stick. He started using swear words

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Speaker 1: often around us all and even insult people in vulgar ways.

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Speaker 1: Our mom had enough and gave him a slap when

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Speaker 1: he insulted one of our female cousins. He called her

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Speaker 1: a selfish bee in an argument where she continued pressing

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Speaker 1: him after he played the left out on the vacation card.

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Speaker 1: He completely snapped on us and through the biggest freak

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Speaker 1: out I'd ever seen in my life. I'm talking thrown

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Speaker 1: glasses and plates, tables flipped with food on them. He

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00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,880
Speaker 1: ruined the day and scared a crap ton of our family,

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Speaker 1: including our baby cousin who was like three at that point,

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Speaker 1: where are the parents? Parents should be way more concerned

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Speaker 1: about this behavior.

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Speaker 2: I was like, the anger is justified?

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Speaker 1: Him?

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Speaker 2: Lashing out like this not justified.

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Speaker 1: He had to be restrained by some of the men

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Speaker 1: in the family and carried into his room after that,

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Speaker 1: and our parents got extremely worried about this behavior. Yes,

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Speaker 1: thank you parents. I never saw my brother get so

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Speaker 1: angry ever in my life, and I cried like a

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Speaker 1: baby when he did that. My mom to this day

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Speaker 1: still wishes she never set him off. They tried to

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Speaker 1: get him help for his anger issues, and it seemed

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Speaker 1: to work when he met his therapist, which he still

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Speaker 1: sees to this day. Some months later, after a lot

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Speaker 1: of trying and different sessions with different therapists, he didn't

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Speaker 1: have another outburst like that ever again, and my parents

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Speaker 1: never laid a hand on any of us after that.

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Speaker 1: It was common to get a spanking or smack for

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Speaker 1: most kids our age at that point if we really

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00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,320
Speaker 1: misbehavior did something bad, so please don't shout abuse in

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Speaker 1: the comments. And if I ever have kids, I won't

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00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,120
Speaker 1: be touching them like that at all. It's just different cultures.

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Speaker 1: He was just never the same ever again. He had

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00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:14,080
Speaker 1: no interest in family time anymore, and he outright quit

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Speaker 1: the marching band, much to my dad and grandfather's disappointment,

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00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,760
Speaker 1: though he still kept up the trumpet and learned guitar

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Speaker 1: by himself. Music runs in the family, but my oldest

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00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,280
Speaker 1: was the only one who wanted to play any instruments.

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00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:28,560
Speaker 1: Andy disassociated from us in church sitting by himself in

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Speaker 1: another section, which really stung from my parents, but to

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Speaker 1: pretty much everyone else, he was exactly the same. He

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00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:38,000
Speaker 1: had the aunt and her husband do his confirmation, which

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00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,880
Speaker 1: was really something else. It's pretty silly, but the most

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Speaker 1: accurate way to describe it was like Jackaline hide cold

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00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:45,920
Speaker 1: and hateful to anyone who was involved in the trip,

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Speaker 1: but his normal cheerful self to everyone else to maintain appearances.

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Speaker 1: Grow up, man, this guy really needs a therapist. I

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00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,200
Speaker 1: mean he has one, he needs a different one.

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00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,680
Speaker 2: The one that he's got is not Guess watching him,

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00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,360
Speaker 2: guess what what you put into therapy is you get

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00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,040
Speaker 2: out of it? And I don't think he's putting any

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00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,440
Speaker 2: of that in. He's just like, ah, I'm angrid done,

382
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Speaker 2: but I'll be fine.

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Speaker 1: This is why the doctor patient relationship in therapy is

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00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,960
Speaker 1: so important, because you know, this guy is probably a

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00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,320
Speaker 1: guy who needs to be pushed on his beliefs a

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00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:14,639
Speaker 1: little bit. He needs to be pushed out of his

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Speaker 1: comfort zone, and he might be seeing a therapist that

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Speaker 1: I mean, you know, therapists are just people. They're not

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00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,920
Speaker 1: all gonna be perfect. But it's like, it doesn't sound

390
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,000
Speaker 1: like he's being pushed in the right direction. It sounds like,

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00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,560
Speaker 1: if anything, the therapy is like or maybe his therapist

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Speaker 1: is pushing him to continue to continue to do this behavior.

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Speaker 2: I think the therapy was because of his anger and

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Speaker 2: his outbursts there, but I think they need family therapy.

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00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it'd be nice to have a joint session so that.

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00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:39,240
Speaker 2: I think that's what you can get here.

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Speaker 1: Everyone's perspective, in everyone's take, because I really feel like,

398
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Speaker 1: and I'm just it's kind of it's an assumption, but like,

399
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:50,280
Speaker 1: I feel like in therapy, he latched onto something that

400
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,639
Speaker 1: for him gave him the permission to be like this

401
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,200
Speaker 1: to his family, where he's like, he's justified in being

402
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,760
Speaker 1: this way, and it's really the only person that's hurting

403
00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,280
Speaker 1: is you. You're I mean, it's also hurting your other

404
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,560
Speaker 1: family members, but like the person you're doing the most

405
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 1: disservice to is yourself. There were a few dicey decisions

406
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:09,240
Speaker 1: my parents made that ruined the already strained relationship between

407
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,080
Speaker 1: us and him. Oh boy, I wonder what those are,

408
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:15,359
Speaker 1: namely letting me and my brother go abroad during school trips.

409
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,640
Speaker 1: When you reach grade nine, you choose three elective subjects

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00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,520
Speaker 1: to take during grades ten through twelve. This is pretty

411
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,440
Speaker 1: much the starting point of your career, so you have

412
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,680
Speaker 1: to choose wisely. He went for business, physics, and accounting

413
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 1: since he enjoyed those and had wanted to go into

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00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,399
Speaker 1: fields related to those subjects. Ed and I went for

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00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:35,399
Speaker 1: two subjects, namely tourism and geography, respectively, since they were

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00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,240
Speaker 1: easy and enjoyable to us. The thing with tourism and

417
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:42,280
Speaker 1: geography is that they introduced excursions abroad for those classes

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00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,479
Speaker 1: pretty much the year before my brother had matriculated. If

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Speaker 1: we didn't go, our parents would have had to let

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Speaker 1: us stay in school doing nothing, since most teachers and

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00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,320
Speaker 1: students would be on said trip. So they paid for

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Speaker 1: me to go to Vietnam and my brother to go

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00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:58,399
Speaker 1: to Prague. When my brother found out, he was livid,

424
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,119
Speaker 1: but didn't scream or anything. Our family couldn't afford to

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00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,840
Speaker 1: do another big Disney trip again, but they could afford

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00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:06,800
Speaker 1: to send us on smaller vacations like these. They could

427
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,479
Speaker 1: have sent him to do the exact same vacation alone,

428
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,600
Speaker 1: but he was under age. My parents offered to let

429
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,359
Speaker 1: him vacation on his own after he was eighteen, but

430
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,600
Speaker 1: he did not react well he just told him it

431
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,280
Speaker 1: was too little, too late, and some other colorful things,

432
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,720
Speaker 1: again paraphrasing, what the heck's the point of doing that

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00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,880
Speaker 1: crap alone? You know? Interesting thought, I wonder how old

434
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,160
Speaker 1: the brother was when they left on the trip.

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00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:30,200
Speaker 2: I thought he was like fourteen.

436
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,080
Speaker 1: I think I assumed they just said that they were

437
00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:34,560
Speaker 1: all under the age of sixteen even then, because I

438
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,879
Speaker 1: wonder if he was like nine or eight. It's like

439
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,360
Speaker 1: that actually could be like a really traumatic, like core

440
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,000
Speaker 1: memory that you end up making like accidentally. You know.

441
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:43,680
Speaker 1: It's like, I mean, it's a core memory for sure,

442
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,520
Speaker 1: where it's like, yeah, clearly, this dude's entire you know,

443
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,840
Speaker 1: a huge part of this guy's personality is informed by

444
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,680
Speaker 1: this moment that he went through this experience. He's feeling

445
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:53,359
Speaker 1: left out.

446
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,640
Speaker 2: Been shaped by this, and it's the wrong shape. Again.

447
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,160
Speaker 2: I feel bad for him. There's so many like things

448
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,280
Speaker 2: here that is just he grew up in that mindset.

449
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like at some point, you know, the onus

450
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,800
Speaker 1: on this I feel like, is even less into his hands.

451
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:06,600
Speaker 1: It's more than the parents.

452
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 2: It's one hundred percent of the parents. Let's say even

453
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,520
Speaker 2: if he was fifteen. I don't think he was that old.

454
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,119
Speaker 2: But even if he was fifteen, this still because it

455
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:18,359
Speaker 2: sounds like he's still never got like repaid for his

456
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:21,359
Speaker 2: stubbornness got the best of him and made him blind.

457
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:24,080
Speaker 1: Anyway, He kept it that way all throughout high school,

458
00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:26,439
Speaker 1: even if it went online, and did pretty good for himself.

459
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,920
Speaker 1: He managed to finish in the top fifteen of the

460
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,440
Speaker 1: grade for his final year, which was a big deal,

461
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:35,000
Speaker 1: and he kept an a aggregate for most of his subjects.

462
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:39,560
Speaker 1: He scored a bursary for his university studies and just

463
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,960
Speaker 1: left to live on campus. That was pretty much the

464
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,919
Speaker 1: last time we saw him in a regular fashion. Literal

465
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,920
Speaker 1: years pass without any messages and my parents are watching

466
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:50,600
Speaker 1: his social media like a hawk to make sure he's okay.

467
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,960
Speaker 1: He only speaks to his grandmas on both sides of

468
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,640
Speaker 1: the family, and our aunt and her husband and their daughter.

469
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 1: He meets his now wife and they marry years later.

470
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 1: She invites us since he doesn't want to speak to

471
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:05,120
Speaker 1: us directly. Ed and I think we were only invited

472
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,120
Speaker 1: at the time because our grandma was on her last

473
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 1: legs with her cancer getting worse, and he didn't want

474
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,680
Speaker 1: her to feel miserable about this before she passed, so

475
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,440
Speaker 1: he probably invited us for her sake. He replaced in

476
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,680
Speaker 1: the middle of the section, which wasn't bad, I guess,

477
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:21,120
Speaker 1: and pause because that informs us that Andy's not a monster, right,

478
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,679
Speaker 1: He's like looking out for his sick grandma.

479
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 2: I know, he's just a deep, deep hatred that he

480
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,720
Speaker 2: has grown toward his family members that they had zero

481
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 2: control over. Again, if his family members and ope were

482
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,240
Speaker 2: teasing him about it this entire time, which was like,

483
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,199
Speaker 2: I don't think they were. They were just like, oh,

484
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 2: the trip was fun. But he was there in the

485
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 2: room and he's like, you brought it up to spite me.

486
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 1: You know what it feels like to me, It feels

487
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:46,200
Speaker 1: like he almost never believed it was just out of

488
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 1: anyone's hands. It feels like a part of him has

489
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 1: always believed that part of it was on purpose or

490
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,280
Speaker 1: that they did it wrong. Like he definitely wouldn't have

491
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 1: held onto it for that.

492
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 2: I guarantee you he used that the fuel. Like he's

493
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 2: like his drive to like I gotta get a's and

494
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 2: get the heck out of here, like I'm gonna show

495
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 2: him all up.

496
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,200
Speaker 1: Imagine, he's just like he becomes the most successful person

497
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:08,480
Speaker 1: of the thing.

498
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,359
Speaker 2: That's what I think, that's what he's trying to do.

499
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 1: Aren't you glad we excluded you from that vacation. Andy,

500
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 1: Look at you, You're on the Fortune five hundred list.

501
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,000
Speaker 1: He just grinds until he has enough money to take

502
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:20,400
Speaker 1: take a vacation.

503
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,560
Speaker 2: To Florida, go to Disney World, and go to Disneyland.

504
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,200
Speaker 1: We were placed in the middle of the section, which

505
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 1: wasn't bad. I guess what was really painful was seeing

506
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:32,080
Speaker 1: him act so nicely towards his wife's family. Since then,

507
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,600
Speaker 1: he showed up for our grandma's funeral, who did pass

508
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 1: a few months ago, but he clearly hates being around

509
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,800
Speaker 1: us and would rather be anywhere else. And now it's

510
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:44,280
Speaker 1: an occasional dry call my mom makes to him just

511
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:46,879
Speaker 1: to check on him. The family is still feeling raw

512
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 1: about this, and my parents keep talking about this with

513
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,000
Speaker 1: their siblings and our remaining grandparents. By the way, you

514
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 1: can talk with us about literally anything every weekday at well,

515
00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:01,640
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, pretty much within ree in three pmpst

516
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 1: every weekday on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch. Oh you

517
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,920
Speaker 1: gotta do is tap our profile and you're in the

518
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 1: live and before we finish this story. Where do we

519
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 1: think we could have gone right here?

520
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 2: I don't know, maybe some of the parents talking to

521
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 2: him rather than just talking about his back to like

522
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,560
Speaker 2: the aunts and uncles or what have you, or grandparents,

523
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 2: maybe you should have reached out to him. I know

524
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 2: he's being stubborn, but like even when you guys got

525
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 2: to a maturier age and you should have been like,

526
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:31,600
Speaker 2: hey man, we need to fix this. This is not right.

527
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 2: The fact that he is completely normal, yeah, with everybody

528
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:37,439
Speaker 2: else but the family.

529
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 1: One day, I just spoke my mind to my brother

530
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,920
Speaker 1: and said that he doesn't care about us anymore and

531
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,040
Speaker 1: that we should just move on from each other. I

532
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 1: understand why he's hurt, and I think it's better if

533
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,720
Speaker 1: we just let this relationship fizzle out if Andy wants

534
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:52,679
Speaker 1: it to. If he gets over it, we can all

535
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 1: chat and try to make sure we put it behind us.

536
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 1: My mom got really sad about it, and my dad

537
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 1: and a few others just argued with me for wanting

538
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,920
Speaker 1: to abandon him and that he'd come around eventually. Ed

539
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 1: is also leaning on leaving it up to Andy to

540
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 1: make the first move if he ever wants a relationship

541
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 1: with us again. So yeah, am I the a hole

542
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:13,440
Speaker 1: going to work, so I won't be able to add

543
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 1: info respond for a bit. Honestly, I don't think you're

544
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 1: the a hole for being like. Look, it's been fourteen years, man,

545
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,159
Speaker 1: Clearly you don't like us. I think we should just

546
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,879
Speaker 1: go our separate ways, all of us. And will you

547
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 1: decide you want to, you know, be brought back in.

548
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:30,879
Speaker 1: I guess because you just let him know that the

549
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,239
Speaker 1: invitation is open come back whenever. As of right now,

550
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,440
Speaker 1: clearly you don't want anything to do with us, So

551
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 1: let's not pretend.

552
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 2: Let's not waste the energy and make things awkward and

553
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,399
Speaker 2: like put you in an awkwards situation, put me in

554
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 2: an awkward situation.

555
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 1: Speaking for Repie, I can no longer tolerate my sister's insults,

556
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 1: so I put my.

557
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,440
Speaker 2: Foot down, two feet down, one thumbs up.

558
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:56,440
Speaker 1: Make that too. My twenty three male younger sister fifteen

559
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 1: female is currently in her phase where she thinks she's

560
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,159
Speaker 1: the most uniq and special person in the world. Because

561
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,480
Speaker 1: of this, she's also developed some sort of superiority complex

562
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:09,640
Speaker 1: against other people's hobbies, especially if she doesn't like them.

563
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user majestic advantage. Zero

564
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,879
Speaker 1: on the r slash Okay storytime celbrit It. So the

565
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 1: problem started when she started using the word in cell

566
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 1: to insult me and my hobbies out of nowhere. She

567
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,480
Speaker 1: seemed to notice that this word hurts and disturbs me,

568
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,360
Speaker 1: so she keeps calling me an inceel just to elicit

569
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 1: a reaction from me. I'm playing a video game, I'm

570
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,399
Speaker 1: an incell, I'm watching anime. I'm an inceell. I'm building

571
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,119
Speaker 1: a gundom. I'm an in cell. I've talked to her

572
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 1: about it and asked her if she knows the meaning.

573
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: She knows it perfectly well and she thinks I fit

574
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 1: the description.

575
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:47,119
Speaker 2: Well, this is just a sibling story. This is just

576
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 2: literally like the how my sister am I. I'm like,

577
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 2: shut up.

578
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 1: I asked her why she thinks this, and she just

579
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 1: tells me that she quote just knows that I'm an

580
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 1: in cell. Because of that, I've been ignoring her this.

581
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,960
Speaker 1: It seems to piss her off because she began to

582
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:04,639
Speaker 1: annoy me on a whole nother level, such as pulling

583
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,640
Speaker 1: my headphones off just to call me an in cell

584
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 1: and even just using in cell as a general nickname

585
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,159
Speaker 1: for me. I talked to my parents last night and

586
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 1: told them that if they don't do anything about her

587
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 1: behavior towards me, then I will move out of the house.

588
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,879
Speaker 1: My dad and I pay fifty to fifty for everything

589
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 1: because his salary alone can't sustain all the bills. My

590
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,359
Speaker 1: mom is a volunteer worker in an animal shelter and

591
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,680
Speaker 1: refuses to seek a job because we come from a

592
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,399
Speaker 1: culture where men are expected to be the sole providers.

593
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 1: My mom justifies my sister's behavior as just being a

594
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:36,680
Speaker 1: typical teenager and is begging me to be more understanding

595
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 1: because I'm the older and more mature one. My dad,

596
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 1: on the other hand, knew that I was serious and

597
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,200
Speaker 1: agreed that they need to punish my sister. I don't

598
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,680
Speaker 1: like ultimatums, but I feel like I don't have any

599
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 1: other choices anymore. I don't want to yell at my

600
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,960
Speaker 1: sister or even fight with her, because I know that

601
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,359
Speaker 1: it will simply make her attitude worse towards me. Shortly

602
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:57,080
Speaker 1: after I gave my ultimatum, my dad punished my sister

603
00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,399
Speaker 1: by taking away everything that I paid for her, like

604
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:03,399
Speaker 1: her laptop, her phone, her PC, and her switch. He

605
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 1: told her that quote, this is your life without your

606
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 1: brother and basically stored them away somewhere that even I

607
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 1: don't know where they are. Since then, my sister became

608
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 1: even more aggressive towards me. She calls me Daddy's boys, snitch, coward,

609
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,280
Speaker 1: and many other names whenever we passed by each other,

610
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 1: both in public and at home. She even started to

611
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,080
Speaker 1: throw things at me unprovoked, even when I'm not looking,

612
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 1: and in parentheses they were soft things like towels, socks,

613
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:34,160
Speaker 1: stuffed toys, or handkerchiefs. But still, my mom keeps making

614
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,439
Speaker 1: excuses for an even freaking consoleder when she was crying

615
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 1: over her things being taken away. That was when I

616
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:43,680
Speaker 1: fully realized and accepted that she was Mom's favorite. When

617
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 1: I finally told my dad that I wanted to move out,

618
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:49,119
Speaker 1: he was understanding. He kept apologizing to me for not

619
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 1: doing anything earlier because he was always at work. He's

620
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,440
Speaker 1: now making up to me by helping me look for

621
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,400
Speaker 1: an affordable renting space. My mom, on the other hand,

622
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 1: didn't take it very well. She's extremely cold to me now.

623
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:05,440
Speaker 1: She told me that I'm abandoning her. According to my dad,

624
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:08,359
Speaker 1: she cries every night because she can't accept the fact

625
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:12,639
Speaker 1: that I'm moving out. Yeesh. For now, I'm temporarily staying

626
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 1: with a kind friend. My dad encouraged me to detach

627
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 1: myself from my mom and my sister as soon as possible.

628
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,639
Speaker 1: When I told him that, she started to throw stuff

629
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,920
Speaker 1: at me. But by the way, I want you to

630
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,920
Speaker 1: throw yourself over to our live streams when we go

631
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 1: live every weekday at three pm PST on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok,

632
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:35,879
Speaker 1: and Twitch. Just tap our profile and you're in. And

633
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 1: you know what, if you're watching this in the future,

634
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 1: we might be live right this very moment. But before

635
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 1: you go check on that, let's collect our thoughts before

636
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:46,240
Speaker 1: we finish this story. I don't know if I really

637
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 1: support anyone's perspective in this all stories like as.

638
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 2: A family whole. I mean, how old is oh p,

639
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 2: he's twenty three, Okay, sister is fifteen. You can move out.

640
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 1: Your parents are in their fifties.

641
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can move out. I don't see perspective of

642
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:03,480
Speaker 2: you moving out as a bad thing. Great, you're an adult.

643
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 2: You can do whatever you want. You don't need to

644
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 2: deal with your little sister being a little annoying to you.

645
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 1: However, I feel like moving out specifically because you're like,

646
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 1: my sister is menacing me that I don't know. I

647
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 1: think you have.

648
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 2: I want you to say it out loud. I moved

649
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:19,960
Speaker 2: out of the house because my sister is torturing me.

650
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 1: Like it'd be different if she was like a grown woman.

651
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 1: A fifteen year old is about to bully you out

652
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 1: of your own living situation?

653
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 2: Again, is she gonna make fun of you all the

654
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 2: entirety of your life at some point?

655
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:35,200
Speaker 1: Look, you're not fifteen. If you were fifteen, i'd be like,

656
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 1: all right, we're not fully developed yet, we're not emotionally

657
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 1: matured yet. We don't know how to deal with this stuff.

658
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 1: You're twenty three. I'm trying to think of a way

659
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 1: to put this delicately that doesn't sound mean, But it's

660
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 1: like you're kind of being a pushover right now. Exactly.

661
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 2: You're letting her win because guess what the sibling is

662
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 2: getting you out of the house. She's winning because she's

663
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 2: getting under your skin. And she may be sad because

664
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 2: she got her stuff taken away, but guess what she won.

665
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 1: So now she's learned that this behavior can get her

666
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 1: exactly what she wants. If she wants someone to go away,

667
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 1: she can bully them into you know, non existence, dad

668
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 1: telling you that it's okay to move out because she

669
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 1: threw socks at you. I don't agree with the mom

670
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 1: taking her side and saying that you just literally have

671
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 1: to deal with it. Somebody here needs to be like,

672
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 1: why don't you throw a little why don't you snap

673
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 1: back a little bit? I don't know, though, It's hard,

674
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,680
Speaker 1: like the only person who's really truly tapped into this

675
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 1: dynamic is OP and I was just guess his sister.

676
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 1: I don't think I would be having any sort of

677
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:36,479
Speaker 1: relationship with my mom or my sister anytime in the future.

678
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 1: I do feel really bad for my dad for having

679
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 1: to deal with my mom and my sister alone. Thank

680
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 1: you for the kind comments in my original post. This

681
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 1: is probably the last time that I'll talk about this issue,

682
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 1: and we do have some relevant comments. Can you ask

683
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:52,520
Speaker 1: your dad for the stuff you paid for so you

684
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 1: can sell it. I told my dad that he can

685
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 1: give back the things I bought for her only if

686
00:30:57,040 --> 00:31:00,200
Speaker 1: she shows real remorse or genuinely apologize this to me.

687
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 1: If nothing changes by January first, then I might take

688
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 1: you up on your advice and just keep everything to myself.

689
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 1: Or seldom. My dad's being a real champ right now

690
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 1: for wanting to pay for the first two months worth

691
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 1: of rent despite me telling him that he doesn't need to.

692
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 1: I have my own savings after all. He feels really

693
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 1: guilty for not being able to notice my sister's behavior

694
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 1: towards me for so long, and he thinks that it's

695
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 1: the least he could do for me. Your dad needs

696
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 1: a divorce, oh, he responds. I'd be happy if he could,

697
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 1: but unfortunately divorce isn't legal in the Philippines, so he's

698
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 1: basically stuck with my mom for the remainder of his life.

699
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 2: Shout out to the Philippines. Wow, I already know. I

700
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 2: already have cousins who are like this.

701
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 1: That sucks well, how is that? Oh?

702
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 2: But yeah, the Philippines sucks. Well.

703
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 1: We'll never get married in the Philippines.

704
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 2: The regulations in the Philippines are brutal crazy, that's wild.

705
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 2: But shout out to Philippinos.

706
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,959
Speaker 1: Slammuch in response to a now deleted comment. The following

707
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 1: two comments provide some more information on op which is

708
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 1: why I'm including them, even though they are in response

709
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 1: to heavily downvoted comments. I live in the Philippines, we're

710
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 1: even up to five generations of families live under one roof.

711
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 1: In fact, it's expected for children to take care of

712
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:09,080
Speaker 1: and financially support their parents and their grandparents as soon

713
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 1: as they have their own jobs there. For me, living

714
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 1: with my parents at my age is the most normal

715
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 1: thing for me in my culture. And I don't pay rent.

716
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 1: It's our house. I don't rent there. I pay for

717
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 1: all the bills since I have a bigger salary than

718
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 1: my dad, while my dad buys all the groceries. My

719
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 1: mom doesn't work and she doesn't want to. I still

720
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 1: respect my mom despite her obvious favoritism towards my sister.

721
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:36,240
Speaker 1: She's still my mother after all, my sister not anymore. Also,

722
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 1: I truly hope you have a very sophisticated, manly and

723
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 1: adult like hobbies, because you keep insulting the things I

724
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 1: like to do. Well, why are people getting so mean

725
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 1: with Ope? He's already getting it from his sister. Why

726
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 1: why do you gotta be mean to op guys?

727
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 2: He's like, oh, dude, you like Gundam and you like anime. So.

728
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: One last comment from Ope, in response to a deleted comment,

729
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 1: I am a teacher, so teenagers being pieces of crap

730
00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,680
Speaker 1: every day are normal to me. I don't want the

731
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 1: same behavior in my own home. I don't want to

732
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 1: deal with the same teenage tantrums that I've been dealing

733
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 1: with at work, especially when I'm trying to rest or

734
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 1: just minding my own business. So I guess that kind

735
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 1: of pokes a hole in our like you should prank

736
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 1: her plan because because op just wants peace and tranquility.

737
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 2: It's the eye for eye thing. But you need to

738
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 2: also just well, it's.

739
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 1: Not even an eye for an eye. I don't think

740
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 1: putting post it notes in her bathroom is tantamount to

741
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 1: calling her an in cell. You know, that's like she's

742
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,600
Speaker 1: truly trying to demean him at that point. At school,

743
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 1: I have some sort of authority over the teens that

744
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 1: I'm handling. I can call their parents, the guidance counselor

745
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 1: or anyone who can correct their behavior. But at home,

746
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 1: I don't have that same authority. I'm just her brother.

747
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 1: I can't force her to behave, and my mom doesn't

748
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 1: do anything to correct her behavior either. I've had a

749
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: heart to heart talk with my mom, and she thinks

750
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:49,280
Speaker 1: that my sister is innocent she thinks that my sister

751
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 1: is just joking. She genuinely doesn't think that she needs

752
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 1: to discipline my sister. I get that siblings being annoying

753
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 1: is normal. However, my sister, as well as many other teenagers,

754
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:03,960
Speaker 1: are old enough to know that her actions have consequences.

755
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 1: Not only that, but her words can ruin me and

756
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 1: my career. I work at the same school my sister's

757
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 1: enrolled in. Ooh, that changes a lot. Now I'm considering

758
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:15,759
Speaker 1: transferring to another school, which I would definitely recommend. That's

759
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:18,759
Speaker 1: so messy. What if she calls me an insel in

760
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 1: front of my students, Then you're screwed, buddy, I'll say

761
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 1: that right now. What if she spreads false rumors about

762
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:27,359
Speaker 1: me abusing her if I ever discipline her. That's where

763
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,919
Speaker 1: I'd be more worried. What if she tells people? Yeah,

764
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:33,920
Speaker 1: what if she just spreads really devastating, horrible rumors about me?

765
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:37,800
Speaker 1: How many years does my sister have left at the school. Thankfully,

766
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 1: she's only here until May June, until she has to

767
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 1: move to a different school for senior high Despite the

768
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:46,480
Speaker 1: small timeframe, I'm still considering being transferred to another school. Now,

769
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 1: I wouldn't transfer at that point, I thought she'd be

770
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 1: there longer.

771
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:50,879
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure she's cognizant him not to do that, though.

772
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 2: I think she just wants to tease you at home.

773
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 2: Maybe she's just trying to hang out with you.

774
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,880
Speaker 1: But that is the end of this story. I wrongly

775
00:34:57,160 --> 00:35:02,560
Speaker 1: accused my boyfriend of cheating. I ruined our relationshow.

776
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, we never do that here. We never wrongly accuse.

777
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:06,959
Speaker 1: My boyfriend and I have been dating for over two years.

778
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: I'll save everyone the long description and just say that

779
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 1: he's an incredible boyfriend and I constantly feel like I

780
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,080
Speaker 1: won the lottery with him and want nothing more than

781
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:16,239
Speaker 1: to marry it. But I've totally thrown it all down

782
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 1: the toilet, and I don't know if there's any way

783
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 1: I can fix this. By the way, this comes from

784
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:24,919
Speaker 1: user throwaway ruined my life on the r slash Okay

785
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 1: storytime stubborn it. So last week on Friday, we were

786
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 1: hanging out at my place. He was going to head

787
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 1: back to his place, and while he was in the bathroom,

788
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 1: his phone chimed. It was a message from Jennifer, which

789
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 1: was not a real name, saying quote just checking that

790
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,719
Speaker 1: we're still on for tomorrow night, you're picking me up right.

791
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,960
Speaker 1: My heart dropped. He doesn't have a pass on his phone,

792
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:48,800
Speaker 1: so I checked the message history. It started recently with

793
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:52,400
Speaker 1: her saying, quote, it's me and is it okay that

794
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 1: I'm texting you, to which he said something like of

795
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,560
Speaker 1: course and some emojis. He said he was going to

796
00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:59,879
Speaker 1: take her out on Saturday and she could pick where

797
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,919
Speaker 1: where ever they were going to go. He came back

798
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,319
Speaker 1: from the bathroom and I quickly turned off the phone

799
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,800
Speaker 1: and was just frozen. I should have said something, but

800
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 1: I was just like totally numb. My heart was beating

801
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:13,160
Speaker 1: so fast. He said TTYL and headed out. I was

802
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 1: completely sick all night. The next day, I decided I

803
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:20,080
Speaker 1: wouldn't confront him immediately, which was another mistake. So around

804
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 1: noon I texted him and asked what are we going

805
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 1: to do tonight? To see what he says. He said

806
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:27,799
Speaker 1: he forgot to tell me that he had plans over

807
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,640
Speaker 1: at his brother's house, which is about ninety minutes away,

808
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:32,880
Speaker 1: and that we could do something on Sunday. I did

809
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 1: it right back. I was just watching it all fall apart.

810
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,919
Speaker 1: Finally I sent him something asking when he was going

811
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:40,880
Speaker 1: to his brother's and he said he was already in

812
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 1: the car on his way and that he'd text me later.

813
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,239
Speaker 1: So I got in my car and drove over to

814
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 1: his brother's house, knowing that he'd have a head start

815
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 1: on me, and when I arrived, he should be there

816
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 1: if he's telling the truth. I get there and sure enough,

817
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 1: his car is nowhere to be found. I should have

818
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:57,439
Speaker 1: gone up to the door and spoken to his brother,

819
00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,279
Speaker 1: but I was a wreck. So I drove home one night.

820
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:02,440
Speaker 1: I put all his crap in a box, and in

821
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:04,279
Speaker 1: the morning I drove over to his place. I had

822
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:06,400
Speaker 1: rehearsed what I was going to say and how calm

823
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 1: I wanted to say it in my head, like a

824
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:10,719
Speaker 1: thousand times. But when I pushed the box into his

825
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 1: chest and said I knew about Jennifer and we're done,

826
00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:15,320
Speaker 1: he had a kind of smirk on his face, like

827
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,879
Speaker 1: he thought I was joking, and I just lost all

828
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 1: my cool. I said so many terrible things. I told

829
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 1: him I'll get a better, hotter boyfriend, no problem, and

830
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 1: I should have upgraded from him a long time ago. Wow,

831
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:29,920
Speaker 1: And I'm going to find someone who doesn't require me

832
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,840
Speaker 1: to fake it when we're having spicy sleep.

833
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,080
Speaker 2: Why did you why did you put all your eggs

834
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 2: in one basket in one go without fully knowing the context.

835
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:42,879
Speaker 1: I don't fake it. I really enjoy our spicy sleep,

836
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,879
Speaker 1: and I do find him very attractive. I also made

837
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:49,360
Speaker 1: some comments about him being small. She says in parentheses,

838
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:52,040
Speaker 1: his size is fine. And the reason I said this

839
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:54,719
Speaker 1: is because I know he's self conscious about this nice

840
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:58,319
Speaker 1: and I knew it would hurt. Why cause, well, she's

841
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 1: doing this because she thought he was about cheating on

842
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:03,359
Speaker 1: her with Jennifer. But it looks like I just let's

843
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:05,719
Speaker 1: get to the part where a conclusion is jumped to. Okay,

844
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 1: here we go. I wanted him to hurt like I

845
00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 1: was hurting, and I know it's fed up and I'm

846
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,439
Speaker 1: a terrible person. He's totally in shock at this point,

847
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,759
Speaker 1: jaws open, tears in his eyes. I told him that

848
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: when Jennifer gets sick of his terrible spicy sleep, don't

849
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:20,919
Speaker 1: come crawling back to me, and I started to leap.

850
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,960
Speaker 1: This is when he tells me that Jennifer is his

851
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 1: twelve year old niece. Call it.

852
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:26,880
Speaker 2: I mean, we obviously knew from the title, but I

853
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:28,840
Speaker 2: called it. I was like, Jennifer could be a cousin

854
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:30,839
Speaker 2: or something. Op good job.

855
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,279
Speaker 1: I've only met her a few times, and as far

856
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:36,080
Speaker 1: as I knew, her name was May May, which is

857
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,160
Speaker 1: not a real name. But it turns out that it's

858
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:41,840
Speaker 1: a Chinese nickname that has some specific significance to her family.

859
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:44,640
Speaker 1: My boyfriend's sister in law is from China. I don't

860
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 1: know for sure if I ever knew or was told

861
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:49,759
Speaker 1: specifically that Jennifer was her real name, but I've heard

862
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,000
Speaker 1: her called May May, and I've called her that myself,

863
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 1: So WTF. She turned twelve recently and got a phone

864
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,960
Speaker 1: for the first time, hence the new text conversation. I

865
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:01,600
Speaker 1: knew she just turned twelve. He had a work conflict

866
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:03,520
Speaker 1: and couldn't make the party. I knew that he had

867
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 1: a promise to take her out for a night sometime

868
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 1: to make up for missing her party. I knew all

869
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:09,840
Speaker 1: of this, but I just didn't put any of the

870
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 1: pieces together. He shut the door and went no contact

871
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 1: on me. I banged on his door until I was

872
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,400
Speaker 1: pretty sure he had left out the back and had

873
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,840
Speaker 1: taken off. I tried showing up at his work the

874
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,400
Speaker 1: next day, but they have security in the entrance and

875
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 1: you need an employee to get you in. He refused

876
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 1: the call from security when I asked them to call

877
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 1: him at his desk. I've tried reaching out some mutual friends,

878
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 1: but I get told that he saw how I really

879
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:32,480
Speaker 1: felt about him and can't stay with someone who pretends

880
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:35,400
Speaker 1: to care but secretly is desperate for something better. But

881
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 1: I'm not at all desperate for better, and I am

882
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 1: desperate for him. I know this A million percent is

883
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:43,719
Speaker 1: on me. He's done absolutely nothing wrong, but I said

884
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:45,600
Speaker 1: things to hurt him because I was sure he was

885
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 1: cheating on me, and I said things that were not true.

886
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 1: The thing is, op is, you weren't sure he was

887
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 1: cheating on.

888
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 2: You, and you said the things, and you knew what

889
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:55,799
Speaker 2: you were saying. Eh, you wanted to hurt him.

890
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 1: You did no due diligence on this, No you Yeah,

891
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,319
Speaker 1: you didn't have the facts, didn't try to have one

892
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,839
Speaker 1: difficult conversation. You just tried to give him a box

893
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:05,200
Speaker 1: of his stuff and told him it's over.

894
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, And he just smirked because you like, oh, I

895
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 2: know about Jennifer, and he smirked. He's like, oh this

896
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:11,160
Speaker 2: is cute, like you thought.

897
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 1: He's like, aha, I know saying things to hurt him

898
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:17,280
Speaker 1: is terrible, and I am terrible, and I hate myself

899
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 1: for ruining both of our lives. But he needs to

900
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:21,600
Speaker 1: know that I didn't mean that, and that it's not

901
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:24,359
Speaker 1: how I ever have felt about him at all. If

902
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:26,879
Speaker 1: I had just been an effing adult about the whole thing,

903
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 1: none of this would have happened. But I lost it,

904
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:31,480
Speaker 1: and now I feel like my entire future that I

905
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:33,840
Speaker 1: had is gone. I don't know how I can possibly

906
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:36,719
Speaker 1: convince someone that something I said is not true. I've

907
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 1: actually looked into paying for a polygraph test to try

908
00:40:39,239 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 1: to get it to him. There are some places in

909
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:42,719
Speaker 1: the city that charge a few hundred bucks for one.

910
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:45,320
Speaker 1: If that sounds desperate, it's because it is, and I

911
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 1: am absolutely desperate at this point. I seriously want to

912
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 1: just not exist. Two weeks ago, I was thinking he

913
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 1: was going to propose at Valentine's Day based on the

914
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 1: plans he was making, And today I'm crying my eyes

915
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,840
Speaker 1: out as my life falls apart, and I'm hearing that

916
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:00,840
Speaker 1: his friends are taking him out tomorrow to be his

917
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,840
Speaker 1: quote unquote wingman and help find someone for him to

918
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: help him get over me. Every time I think about it,

919
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm going to vomit, and we do

920
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:10,520
Speaker 1: have an update. Before we read the update, what would

921
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:11,920
Speaker 1: you tell op she needs to do.

922
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to be in her situation, but I

923
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 2: can't like you done messed up. Give it some space.

924
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 2: Give him some space. That's the best thing you can do,

925
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:21,359
Speaker 2: because now you're suffocating him, and now he's even more

926
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 2: tired of seeing your name pop up. I don't like

927
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 2: the fact that his friends say I'm gonna work an

928
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:27,360
Speaker 2: a wingman him. That would make me even more concern

929
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 2: but you did let this happen. The best thing you

930
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:30,880
Speaker 2: can do is space.

931
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 1: I just want to say that I totally agree with

932
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 1: all of the comments blasting me. I made all of

933
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 1: the wrong decisions. I acted like a psycho and an

934
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 1: immature piece of crap, and I have no one to

935
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 1: blame here at all but myself. I also completely realized

936
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:46,239
Speaker 1: that I've done terrible damage to him, and I feel

937
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 1: disgusting for having done this. I sent him a letter

938
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 1: telling him that I'll no longer try to contact him

939
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:53,839
Speaker 1: so he doesn't have to worry about me showing up.

940
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 1: I told him that I'm beyond sorry for blowing up

941
00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 1: his life. With my outburst and immature behavior. But I

942
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 1: told him to please believe me that I didn't mean

943
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:06,360
Speaker 1: anything I said for his own peace of mind in

944
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:08,800
Speaker 1: the future. But you know what I see in your future?

945
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:10,440
Speaker 2: What's that you me?

946
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:11,000
Speaker 1: Right there?

947
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:11,440
Speaker 2: Oh?

948
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 1: Joining us live every weekday at three pm PST. When

949
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:19,840
Speaker 1: we go live on YouTube, on Facebook, on TikTok, on Twitch.

950
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:22,399
Speaker 1: All you gotta do is tap our profile on any

951
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:24,439
Speaker 1: one of those platforms and you are in the live

952
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 1: and if you're watching this in the future, we might

953
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:29,279
Speaker 1: be live right now. Honestly, I think we kind of

954
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 1: went over our position a little and she did it.

955
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:36,120
Speaker 2: She's like, I'm gonna give you some time. I'm gonna

956
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,360
Speaker 2: go no contact or like not try and push it.

957
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 1: It's really the only thing you can do in that position.

958
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,239
Speaker 2: The it's all, honestly, all the balls in his court,

959
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:44,960
Speaker 2: and it depends on if he wants to play ball. Like,

960
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:46,840
Speaker 2: you can't do anything else here. You said it and

961
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 2: in what set is said, then you just gotta wait

962
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 2: for his response and see how he feels.

963
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:52,839
Speaker 1: One of the great cheat codes of how to get

964
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 1: under a dude's skin, especially if you were dating him.

965
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:59,520
Speaker 1: As you say, you got little your your junior is

966
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 1: no good and I fake it. And then on top

967
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,480
Speaker 1: of that, you already know he's insecure about that, even

968
00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 1: though it's normal. Like you said, don't think he's coming back. Man, Sorry, sorry, Op,

969
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,320
Speaker 1: I don't know i'd want to feel bad for you,

970
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 1: but I kind of do because I can understand this.

971
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 1: It was a moment of like it was just all

972
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:18,160
Speaker 1: he just assumed you fully, fully, fully assumed. And it's

973
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 1: a hard lesson to learn.

974
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:21,359
Speaker 2: It was the heat of the moment, but in the moment,

975
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:24,399
Speaker 2: you knew what you were saying is going to hurt him. Wow,

976
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,440
Speaker 2: and you're like, there's no coming back from this.

977
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 1: Imagine what would have happened if her partner didn't think

978
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:31,719
Speaker 1: it was funny, because the reason she blew up, I mean,

979
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 1: the reason she got so mad is because he smirked.

980
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,080
Speaker 1: That was what kicked it off. Is because he was like,

981
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 1: you're breaking up with me because of my little niece,

982
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 1: my twelve year old niece. That's that's a good joke.

983
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:42,600
Speaker 2: He could have told, He could have told Op from

984
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:44,759
Speaker 2: the very get go, but he she did ask like, hey,

985
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:46,360
Speaker 2: what are you doing, and he's like, I'm going to

986
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:47,759
Speaker 2: my brothers that's it. But he could have been like,

987
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:49,800
Speaker 2: I'm going to my brothers, I'm bringing my cousin or

988
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 2: my cousin my niece.

989
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 1: Again, I wasn't saying that to like put any level

990
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:57,239
Speaker 1: of blame on him. I was saying that just in like,

991
00:43:57,520 --> 00:43:59,360
Speaker 1: the butterfly effect is crazy.

992
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 2: Actually, before we get back to the story, can you

993
00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:02,800
Speaker 2: put a little bit of blame on him? No?

994
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 1: Okay, where's the blame. I was contemplating following through with

995
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,799
Speaker 1: the polygraph and just sending the results as a way

996
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:10,759
Speaker 1: to try to help his state of mind in his

997
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 1: future relationships, as opposed to using the results to try

998
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 1: to convince him to give me another chance. But I

999
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:18,000
Speaker 1: think maybe because it seems too crazy of a thing

1000
00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:20,360
Speaker 1: to do that I'm just going to leave it. I

1001
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:22,800
Speaker 1: told him the time we had together was the greatest

1002
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:24,920
Speaker 1: time of my life, and I'm sure whoever it is

1003
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:27,319
Speaker 1: the girl that is lucky enough to be with him

1004
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:30,360
Speaker 1: next will probably feel like she won the lottery, just

1005
00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:33,319
Speaker 1: like I always did. I realize that I've destroyed my life,

1006
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:35,799
Speaker 1: but I hope that he can recover from what I've done,

1007
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:38,840
Speaker 1: so at least the destruction can be somewhat limited to

1008
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:41,239
Speaker 1: me more than him. And that is the end of

1009
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:41,720
Speaker 1: that story.

1010
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 2: And I guess what. Only time will tell You're.

1011
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,840
Speaker 1: Gonna be all right. There really was a Jennifer that

1012
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:47,759
Speaker 1: wasn't his twelve year old niece. Yeah, you would have

1013
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,399
Speaker 1: had great reason to. However, this is just a lesson.

1014
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:52,879
Speaker 1: You got to learn where you got to. You gotta

1015
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 1: do your due diligence.

1016
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:56,720
Speaker 2: You learn from your mistakes. But this was a big mistake.

1017
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:58,080
Speaker 2: That and you can find someone else.

1018
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:00,120
Speaker 1: There's somebody else out there that you can I have

1019
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,319
Speaker 1: a fulfilling relationship with that's not this guy.

1020
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:05,200
Speaker 2: It's possible, but that's hard. That's the end of that story.

1021
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:08,360
Speaker 2: I disapprove of my mother's toxic relationship, but she won't

1022
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:08,840
Speaker 2: listen to me.

1023
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:12,839
Speaker 1: Mama, just dump that guy.

1024
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 2: I don't know if this should be posted elsewhere, as

1025
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:18,680
Speaker 2: I don't know if this really works for the relationship

1026
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,120
Speaker 2: or am I the a whole subreddits, But I have

1027
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 2: seen the community offer great help and advice to others.

1028
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 2: I'm sorry if this is long. I mid twenties female

1029
00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:29,440
Speaker 2: live with my mother mid fifties. Due to being on

1030
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 2: the autistic spectrum and other medical issues, that doesn't make

1031
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:34,439
Speaker 2: it very safe for me to live on my own.

1032
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user I don't know anymore.

1033
00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 2: Am I the a hole on the r slash okay

1034
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 2: storytime subreddit. So I had moved across the country with

1035
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 2: her due to getting a job promotion. We have no

1036
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 2: family back where we came from, and I wanted to

1037
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,320
Speaker 2: try restarting my life by my mother's side and start fresh.

1038
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:52,399
Speaker 2: I have a decent job that pays enough to pay

1039
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 2: my share of rent, and I buy my own essentials

1040
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 2: and contribute to groceries. I do not drive again due

1041
00:45:57,560 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 2: to medical reasons, and the area I live in is

1042
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 2: very vast and distant from one place to another, so

1043
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 2: I depend on others and provide gas money. Driving apps

1044
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 2: do not work with my area for some reason. My

1045
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 2: mother and I have polar opposite personalities. She's extroverted and

1046
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:12,800
Speaker 2: as an adult who deserves to go out and have

1047
00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 2: fun after being a dedicated mother for so long. She

1048
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:18,960
Speaker 2: is divorced from my biofather, who we are no contact with,

1049
00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:22,160
Speaker 2: and with him being abusive. I am more introverted. I

1050
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,400
Speaker 2: do not really find joy in going out to clubs

1051
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:26,719
Speaker 2: or parties, rather would like to spend my time alone

1052
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:28,520
Speaker 2: with a book or something quiet. We used to spend

1053
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:31,760
Speaker 2: weekends doing stuff together, such as going on hikes, baking, slash,

1054
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:35,879
Speaker 2: cooking together, movies, museums, festivals, et cetera. She makes time

1055
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:37,799
Speaker 2: for herself to do what she likes as well, going

1056
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 2: to busy bars and parties, going out to spas, and

1057
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:42,840
Speaker 2: self care trips with her friends or coworkers. And I

1058
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:44,880
Speaker 2: do find being able to take care of myself for

1059
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:46,800
Speaker 2: a few days with being able to call her for

1060
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 2: any emergencies at any time. Last year, she met Bee Bob,

1061
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:53,319
Speaker 2: he's in his forties or fifties at a bar. Mom

1062
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 2: had gone on some dates before that were flunks or

1063
00:46:55,719 --> 00:46:59,760
Speaker 2: produced no sparks. She claims herself to be a very independent, strong,

1064
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:02,400
Speaker 2: take no crap woman who doesn't need to be in

1065
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:04,719
Speaker 2: a relationship at this point, but she gave Bob a

1066
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:07,320
Speaker 2: chance and immediately became smitten by the amount of attention

1067
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 2: she was given by Bob. From the start, he seemed

1068
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:11,440
Speaker 2: to be right from what she told me. He compliments

1069
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:13,440
Speaker 2: her and treated her right, takes her out to places,

1070
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 2: and showed her around the area we recently moved to.

1071
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:17,360
Speaker 2: I'd only met him a couple of times when he

1072
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 2: would pick her up and we would exchange pleasantries and

1073
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:22,719
Speaker 2: small conversation, but that was about it. At some point,

1074
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:25,480
Speaker 2: it became apparent that he had some problems when it

1075
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:28,279
Speaker 2: came to what was expected of a woman to do

1076
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:31,400
Speaker 2: for her man in a relationship. Their first big fight

1077
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:34,240
Speaker 2: happened over something that I can't recall. This was within

1078
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:36,400
Speaker 2: the first few weeks they started casually going out, but

1079
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 2: he was upset about something and she offered advice and

1080
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,879
Speaker 2: he just exploded. I don't remember the specifics of the fight,

1081
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:44,239
Speaker 2: but my mother pretty much went on the mindset that

1082
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:46,800
Speaker 2: this guy was a big heck no, going on a

1083
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:48,839
Speaker 2: spiel about how I need to make sure I don't

1084
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 2: find a man like him. She ignored him for a

1085
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:53,560
Speaker 2: week of his constant calls and texts begging for her

1086
00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:56,120
Speaker 2: back in another chance, which we both agreed was a

1087
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:59,440
Speaker 2: red flag when he persisted when she told him no

1088
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:02,000
Speaker 2: before telling me she was going to break it off

1089
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:04,600
Speaker 2: with him while everything was still fresh. Well, as you

1090
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:07,359
Speaker 2: can tell by the title, this didn't happen. After three

1091
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:09,839
Speaker 2: months of dating and my mother constantly having him stay

1092
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:12,719
Speaker 2: overnight without asking if I was comfortable, she came to

1093
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:14,759
Speaker 2: me and essentially said that Bob was going to stay

1094
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:17,960
Speaker 2: with us while he was in between apartments. She phrased

1095
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:21,080
Speaker 2: it like she was asking what I thought of the idea.

1096
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 2: I already had a gut feeling of where it was

1097
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 2: going and told her that it wasn't something I was

1098
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 2: comfortable with, but would be fine if it was two

1099
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 2: weeks as she said. She agreed and promised, as they

1100
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:32,279
Speaker 2: were still not entirely committed and wanted at least to

1101
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:34,480
Speaker 2: help him out. I ran polite and tolerant of him.

1102
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:36,920
Speaker 2: Whenever we cross paths, would have some conversations with him

1103
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:38,799
Speaker 2: about whatever I was reading or was on the TV,

1104
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:41,399
Speaker 2: but I otherwise stayed in my room while they spent

1105
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 2: time together in the communal areas and went out. Two

1106
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:46,799
Speaker 2: weeks came and went, so did a couple months until

1107
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 2: she took me out of our planned bonding time. That

1108
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:51,880
Speaker 2: took a while to happen because other plans would come

1109
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 2: up between them, and said that she and Bob had

1110
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 2: came to an agreement to try living together. Oh no,

1111
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:02,240
Speaker 2: she was soft launching, she honeybatter. Oh no, she soft

1112
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:04,279
Speaker 2: launched her live in boyfriend with you.

1113
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no no no.

1114
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:07,200
Speaker 2: She was like we got to see how this goes.

1115
00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:09,600
Speaker 2: For two weeks and you didn't say anything. Excuses of

1116
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:12,239
Speaker 2: getting the apartment falling through came up. How they wanted

1117
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 2: to try living together as a couple, but they wanted

1118
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:17,279
Speaker 2: my input before proceeding. I essentially told her that I

1119
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:19,920
Speaker 2: wasn't comfortable and that she promised that this was a

1120
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:23,319
Speaker 2: temporary thing. She didn't really respond to that and said, mention,

1121
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:26,880
Speaker 2: how well, what happened if we eventually wanted to move

1122
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:27,320
Speaker 2: in together?

1123
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:28,000
Speaker 1: What about you?

1124
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:30,319
Speaker 2: I want you and I to say together as we plan,

1125
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 2: maybe with a basement where you could live separately from us.

1126
00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:35,719
Speaker 2: I want to try to make this work. I wasn't

1127
00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 2: expecting this to really happen. The thing to mention why

1128
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:41,719
Speaker 2: I was not so inclined. They would have a week

1129
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:44,359
Speaker 2: of lovey dovey bliss, and then bam, an all out

1130
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:48,080
Speaker 2: nuclear showdown of screaming, door slamming, cussing intension that you

1131
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 2: couldn't even cut with a steak knife. What was once

1132
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:53,160
Speaker 2: my comfort space of home became the place where I

1133
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:55,560
Speaker 2: would lock myself in my room and only come out

1134
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 2: to grab myself a quick meal and run back whenever

1135
00:49:58,160 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 2: my mom would have vent to me about it all.

1136
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:02,000
Speaker 2: I I would often give comfort and my only advice

1137
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 2: of this sounds a lot of like what it was

1138
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:06,440
Speaker 2: like with my dad, and you should know that you

1139
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 2: don't deserve this and you don't need to settle with him.

1140
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:10,560
Speaker 2: She would seem to sigh and agree with me and

1141
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:12,799
Speaker 2: thank me for being honest and being here for her.

1142
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 2: Then they go back to lovey dovey Rinson repeat with

1143
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:18,080
Speaker 2: the kisses and the flirts to three am door slams

1144
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:20,440
Speaker 2: and screaming matches. I had gotten to the point of

1145
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:22,800
Speaker 2: just keeping my distance from Bob. I would remain polite

1146
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:24,719
Speaker 2: but not really engage with him. He once tried to

1147
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:27,439
Speaker 2: vent to me about my mom being effing insane during

1148
00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:29,439
Speaker 2: one of their fights and wouldn't let me leave until

1149
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 2: I physically left the room and shut the door. My

1150
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:33,840
Speaker 2: mom confronts me and tells me I was being childish

1151
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:36,040
Speaker 2: and rude for no reason, and I told her that

1152
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 2: I wasn't comfortable at this point. I wasn't comfortable with

1153
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 2: him living with us. I wasn't comfortable seeing her constantly

1154
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:44,240
Speaker 2: cater to him in every way like a maid, laundry

1155
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:47,000
Speaker 2: making and serving him meals. It's only her and I

1156
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:50,000
Speaker 2: cleaning the household while he's out somewhere else with buddies

1157
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:52,160
Speaker 2: or bars. How I don't feel comfortable in what was

1158
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:54,320
Speaker 2: supposed to be my home, and the only place I

1159
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:56,879
Speaker 2: feel remotely safe is my own bedroom. Within the years

1160
00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:58,759
Speaker 2: of him staying with us, she has called the cops

1161
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:01,800
Speaker 2: on him twice. He's been in seven big screaming matches

1162
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:03,120
Speaker 2: that wake me up in the middle of the night,

1163
00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 2: and I'm very tired of it. She asked, what would

1164
00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 2: make me feel better if we went out to dinners

1165
00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:08,960
Speaker 2: or movies so I can feel like a child or

1166
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:12,280
Speaker 2: a third wheel. How he wants my acceptance in approval,

1167
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 2: I tell her nothing, and that I have given him

1168
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 2: chances at my own pace, and that he has ruined

1169
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:19,680
Speaker 2: those chances with how he handles himself in situations in general,

1170
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:22,360
Speaker 2: and I honestly don't think I will be ever comfortable

1171
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:24,640
Speaker 2: around him. I tell her that I wish that she

1172
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:26,759
Speaker 2: treated me like an adult that she tells me to

1173
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:29,200
Speaker 2: be and took in my opinion and concerns when I

1174
00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:31,120
Speaker 2: said I didn't want him moving in with us, But

1175
00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:34,120
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm falling on deaf ears. At this point,

1176
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:37,360
Speaker 2: she tells me relationships take work, and I wouldn't understand

1177
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:39,239
Speaker 2: as I've never had a relationship. She tells me that

1178
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:41,920
Speaker 2: being the way I am to him is evident that

1179
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,759
Speaker 2: I will be very lonely. They continue to fight. It's

1180
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:46,239
Speaker 2: gone to the point where he pins my mom to

1181
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 2: the ground or wall and refuses to get off her

1182
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:50,400
Speaker 2: while she yells at him to get off, and I

1183
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:52,359
Speaker 2: come out and yelled him to get the f off,

1184
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:54,279
Speaker 2: and my mom tells me she should give it all.

1185
00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:57,360
Speaker 2: Then they're all affectionate and calling each other babe, like

1186
00:51:57,480 --> 00:51:58,200
Speaker 2: nothing happened.

1187
00:51:58,560 --> 00:51:59,799
Speaker 1: This is not good.

1188
00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:03,960
Speaker 2: This makes no sense. Why if this is what it is,

1189
00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:06,080
Speaker 2: but OPI can't be I was gonna say Opie leave,

1190
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:08,080
Speaker 2: but Opie can not really like.

1191
00:52:08,239 --> 00:52:11,400
Speaker 1: Opie can't, or you've set the stage that it's not

1192
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:13,520
Speaker 1: a good idea for OPI to live by themselves. It's this,

1193
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:16,040
Speaker 1: This just sounds like the cycle.

1194
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 2: Of abuse again, like you said, it just it keeps rinsing, repeating,

1195
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:21,680
Speaker 2: and recycling itself over and over again, where it's just

1196
00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:23,279
Speaker 2: getting more and more extreme, and.

1197
00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:25,160
Speaker 1: Then it always goes and then it goes back to

1198
00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:27,880
Speaker 1: lovey dovey and everything's perfect, And that's like one of

1199
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 1: the hallmarks of this baffled is that it all goes

1200
00:52:31,200 --> 00:52:33,879
Speaker 1: back to literal like every Oh, it's a fairy tale

1201
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:35,960
Speaker 1: and we're in love and everything's perfect, and then it's

1202
00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:39,239
Speaker 1: just like bad, bad, bad, bad, bad bad bad. Oh. Wait,

1203
00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 1: but it's good again for just a little bit, and

1204
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:42,600
Speaker 1: then it's a bad, bad bad.

1205
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:45,800
Speaker 2: She doesn't explain to me how it's fixed and everything

1206
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:48,560
Speaker 2: is fine. Mom and I no longer really do anything together.

1207
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:50,880
Speaker 2: She'll ask about my day at work and stuff, but

1208
00:52:51,280 --> 00:52:53,080
Speaker 2: I otherwise just go to my room so she can

1209
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,160
Speaker 2: continue to do her own thing and then go be

1210
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:57,719
Speaker 2: with Bob. I've spoken to my therapist about this, I've

1211
00:52:57,719 --> 00:52:59,880
Speaker 2: spoken to my friends back home about this, and they

1212
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:02,080
Speaker 2: all tell me I'm valid in my feelings and my

1213
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:04,759
Speaker 2: mom is in the wrong and in a toxic relationship.

1214
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:07,120
Speaker 2: I feel awful telling others about what's been happening and

1215
00:53:07,239 --> 00:53:09,400
Speaker 2: how I feel, because it doesn't give my mom the

1216
00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:11,560
Speaker 2: chance to defend herself. But I'm at the point where

1217
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:14,040
Speaker 2: I don't care. I've tried everything under the sun to

1218
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:16,800
Speaker 2: tell her my feelings from suggestions of my therapist, and

1219
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:19,040
Speaker 2: she either gets mad or brushes it off. But you

1220
00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:21,040
Speaker 2: know what, you can't brush off. Never brush us.

1221
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 1: Off, yeah, never brush us off, or will get mad.

1222
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll get very upset because we go live every

1223
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:31,880
Speaker 2: weekday at three pm PSD. We go live on Facebook, TikTok, Twitch, YouTube,

1224
00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:33,000
Speaker 2: just tap our profile.

1225
00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:37,440
Speaker 1: Mom needs help. Clearly, Mom is stuck in the cycle

1226
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 1: of abuse, and it is really really difficult to get

1227
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,400
Speaker 1: someone out of that without them wanting to be a

1228
00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:44,840
Speaker 1: proactive part of it or.

1229
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:47,120
Speaker 2: Wanting to listen just like they seems like Mom, just

1230
00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:48,759
Speaker 2: like okay the other.

1231
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 1: Right, It's like they either have to deflect it or

1232
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:53,440
Speaker 1: they have to get mad about it and delegitimize it,

1233
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:56,040
Speaker 1: because then their whole worldview falls apart.

1234
00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:58,680
Speaker 2: While I feel validated to a point, I feel like

1235
00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:01,440
Speaker 2: an absolute a hole towards my own mother, both for

1236
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 2: her telling me I don't understand and secretly confiding in

1237
00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:07,120
Speaker 2: others about their relationship problems when has nothing to do

1238
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:08,920
Speaker 2: with me. At the end of the day, I want

1239
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:11,520
Speaker 2: her to be happy and have the companionship she desires

1240
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:14,759
Speaker 2: that isn't just from me or friends. But I absolutely

1241
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:17,440
Speaker 2: despise this man and their relationship. I am supposed to

1242
00:54:17,440 --> 00:54:19,600
Speaker 2: be an adult about this, but am I really just

1243
00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:24,239
Speaker 2: being childish overall? Am I the A whole? No? No, no,

1244
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:26,480
Speaker 2: And I hate that that's what you're thinking. You already

1245
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 2: talked the relationship to your mom at least, and I

1246
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:30,600
Speaker 2: feel like you're scared to tell this to Bob because one,

1247
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:32,759
Speaker 2: you guys have no connection, and two I feel like

1248
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:34,439
Speaker 2: Bob's gonna be like, what are you talking about.

1249
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:36,839
Speaker 1: Bob doesn't seem to be a guy who handles being

1250
00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:39,359
Speaker 1: pressed on the issue. He doesn't take that very well.

1251
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:41,600
Speaker 2: So the fact that you already went to the main source,

1252
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 2: one to your therapist and two to your mother, your

1253
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:47,000
Speaker 2: very own mother, and your very own mother is not

1254
00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:48,480
Speaker 2: listening to you. You've got to have to tell other

1255
00:54:48,520 --> 00:54:51,359
Speaker 2: people and you're like, am I crazy? Like this is bad? Right,

1256
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:53,719
Speaker 2: and they're like, yes, this is bad. They have outside views.

1257
00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:55,600
Speaker 2: Get out of it, but OPI not the A whole.

1258
00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:57,960
Speaker 2: Definitely get out of that situation as soon as possible

1259
00:54:58,000 --> 00:54:59,600
Speaker 2: because you don't deserve that, and try to get your

1260
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:01,279
Speaker 2: mom hope. But at the end of the day, you

1261
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:02,680
Speaker 2: have to do what's best friend for yourself.

1262
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:04,600
Speaker 1: Honestly, I wish you and your mom the best. The

1263
00:55:04,640 --> 00:55:07,080
Speaker 1: only one who's the real a hole there is is Bob.

1264
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:09,400
Speaker 1: But that is the end of that story. My friend's

1265
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:12,799
Speaker 1: girlfriend hates me. Now I thought I was just being

1266
00:55:12,880 --> 00:55:13,720
Speaker 1: a caring friend.

1267
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:14,840
Speaker 2: She's just jealous of you.

1268
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:17,400
Speaker 1: Please don't judge first, let me finish my story. Do

1269
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:20,800
Speaker 1: you see, don't judge. I've been thinking for quite a

1270
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 1: long time about this whole shenanigan. Now I just think

1271
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:27,600
Speaker 1: maybe you guys can help. Sorry for any grammatical mistakes

1272
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:31,040
Speaker 1: or misuse of words, since English is not my first language.

1273
00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:34,439
Speaker 1: It's kind of long because I'm kinda sad. I twenty

1274
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:37,680
Speaker 1: seven female, have been friends with let's call him Zed,

1275
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:41,399
Speaker 1: twenty five male for about six years now. I met

1276
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:43,480
Speaker 1: him my first year of UNI. We are in the

1277
00:55:43,560 --> 00:55:47,600
Speaker 1: same UNI, studying the same subject. We both are really extroverted,

1278
00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:50,239
Speaker 1: like to try new things, make new friends, love to

1279
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:54,120
Speaker 1: attend all sorts of events going on, et cetera. By

1280
00:55:54,120 --> 00:55:56,680
Speaker 1: the way, this comes from user Sassy Missy Sissy on

1281
00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:59,960
Speaker 1: the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I was really happy

1282
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,640
Speaker 1: to find a friend like him who really matches my

1283
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:05,360
Speaker 1: vibes and he felt the same. So I started texting

1284
00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:08,200
Speaker 1: him quite a lot because I was just excited to

1285
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:11,080
Speaker 1: share new things with my new friend. By the way,

1286
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:13,879
Speaker 1: I am really a very caring type of person. Since

1287
00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:16,320
Speaker 1: I am the elder daughter of the house, I always

1288
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:18,400
Speaker 1: liked to be there for my friends and family whenever

1289
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:20,600
Speaker 1: they need me. So one day, it was raining cats

1290
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:23,279
Speaker 1: and dogs outside and I asked him if he needed

1291
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:25,759
Speaker 1: an umbrella or a ride maybe. He all of a

1292
00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:28,239
Speaker 1: sudden told me that he has a girlfriend, which was

1293
00:56:28,280 --> 00:56:29,960
Speaker 1: the first time he had ever mentioned it. I was

1294
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:32,680
Speaker 1: kind of feeling weird why he would mention this now,

1295
00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:35,960
Speaker 1: then came to the realization that this is very inappropriate

1296
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:39,640
Speaker 1: of me asking him such questions because he is not single.

1297
00:56:39,719 --> 00:56:42,920
Speaker 1: Maybe I understood the hint and started not sending him

1298
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:46,680
Speaker 1: so many messages until it was something important. This was

1299
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:48,840
Speaker 1: when I first met him after half a year. I

1300
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,719
Speaker 1: was looking for someone to go with me to see

1301
00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:53,040
Speaker 1: a horror movie. He sent me a message and said

1302
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:55,040
Speaker 1: he'd like to go. Then I made sure to ask

1303
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:57,160
Speaker 1: him if his girlfriend was okay with it. He said

1304
00:56:57,160 --> 00:56:59,560
Speaker 1: he broke up with her and he was devastated about it.

1305
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:02,719
Speaker 1: We started talking again because he was really sad and

1306
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:05,520
Speaker 1: kind of wanted to change the mood. So I made

1307
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:07,200
Speaker 1: sure to take him out a lot with my other

1308
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:09,880
Speaker 1: friends to make him comfortable. This went on for about

1309
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:12,880
Speaker 1: a month, and all of a sudden, my best friend,

1310
00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:16,760
Speaker 1: twenty five male, started asking me if I liked Zed.

1311
00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:19,680
Speaker 1: I felt really funny because I wasn't even that close

1312
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:22,120
Speaker 1: to Zed at that moment because of exam pressure. I

1313
00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 1: made sure he met new friends and went on to

1314
00:57:24,440 --> 00:57:26,600
Speaker 1: do my own things. I asked my best friend why

1315
00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:29,080
Speaker 1: he would ask such a question, and he said it

1316
00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:31,720
Speaker 1: was because Zed was suspecting that I'm into him and

1317
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:34,360
Speaker 1: was asking my best friend how he could politely tell

1318
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:36,480
Speaker 1: me that he would prefer to be friends with me.

1319
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:40,240
Speaker 1: I felt really humiliated because Zed not only presumed so

1320
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:43,600
Speaker 1: many things about me without even having the courtesy to

1321
00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:46,040
Speaker 1: ask me, but he also was kind of bothering my

1322
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:50,160
Speaker 1: friends with these kinds of questions, which is totally not true.

1323
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:53,080
Speaker 1: So I was really sad and decided not to talk

1324
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:56,360
Speaker 1: with Zed anymore. Zed understood that I was very unhappy

1325
00:57:56,400 --> 00:57:58,880
Speaker 1: with what he had done and was truly apologetic about

1326
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:02,200
Speaker 1: the whole situation. Apologized many times, and we decided to

1327
00:58:02,240 --> 00:58:04,800
Speaker 1: be on good terms again. Throughout this whole procedure, we

1328
00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:07,560
Speaker 1: get to know each other more and become close friends.

1329
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:09,840
Speaker 1: He has a code that he does not want to

1330
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:12,480
Speaker 1: be close to any girls when he's in a relationship,

1331
00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:14,480
Speaker 1: and I totally respect that. So when he is in

1332
00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:17,320
Speaker 1: a relationship, we only talk when he contacts me. During

1333
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:19,920
Speaker 1: quarantine period, I went back to my country and he

1334
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:22,560
Speaker 1: got a long term girlfriend, so we were kind of

1335
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:24,840
Speaker 1: out of touch, but knew about each other's big events

1336
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:27,160
Speaker 1: in life. I came back recently and he was super

1337
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:29,880
Speaker 1: excited to introduce me to his girlfriend, which he is

1338
00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:33,240
Speaker 1: thinking of marrying now. I am super happy for him

1339
00:58:33,360 --> 00:58:35,680
Speaker 1: because he is a really nice person and friend, and

1340
00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:38,560
Speaker 1: his love life was not always very smooth. Our first

1341
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:41,160
Speaker 1: meeting after I came back was just me and him.

1342
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 1: I asked him about his girlfriend, but he said she

1343
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:45,840
Speaker 1: was busy with work, which is fine. I asked him

1344
00:58:45,840 --> 00:58:48,080
Speaker 1: if she knew that he was meeting a female friend

1345
00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:50,320
Speaker 1: and was okay with it. He said, yes, she does,

1346
00:58:50,560 --> 00:58:52,520
Speaker 1: so I didn't think a lot about it. We had

1347
00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:54,440
Speaker 1: a great time, talked about all the things in our

1348
00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:57,520
Speaker 1: life in detail. It was really nice meeting a longtime

1349
00:58:57,600 --> 00:59:00,800
Speaker 1: friend after a long time. Later, on several events, I

1350
00:59:01,040 --> 00:59:04,480
Speaker 1: asked him about his girlfriend and he always had excuses,

1351
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:07,360
Speaker 1: which I felt really weird about and had a gut

1352
00:59:07,440 --> 00:59:10,000
Speaker 1: feeling that something was wrong. He was preparing for a

1353
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:13,080
Speaker 1: very important exam. So one day I was just asking

1354
00:59:13,160 --> 00:59:16,280
Speaker 1: how everything was going on, blah blah blah, and he

1355
00:59:16,440 --> 00:59:19,160
Speaker 1: said he was very confident about it. So I, as

1356
00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:21,400
Speaker 1: any good friend would do, said that's the zet. I

1357
00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:24,360
Speaker 1: know you can do it. You'll nail it. He suddenly

1358
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:26,080
Speaker 1: told me that I should maybe change the way I

1359
00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:28,240
Speaker 1: talked to him, and to be exact quote, be more

1360
00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:31,080
Speaker 1: rough and manly, not so girly, because his girlfriend might

1361
00:59:31,120 --> 00:59:34,360
Speaker 1: be angry to see those kinds of messages. I was shocked.

1362
00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:37,680
Speaker 1: I have not said anything any normal person would think

1363
00:59:37,720 --> 00:59:39,800
Speaker 1: twice about. I was just trying to cheer him up.

1364
00:59:39,880 --> 00:59:41,840
Speaker 1: But since he said, I owned it that I will

1365
00:59:41,880 --> 00:59:44,080
Speaker 1: not send him any messages like that again. But I'm

1366
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:46,720
Speaker 1: already pretty sure that his girlfriend might have some kind

1367
00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:49,400
Speaker 1: of misunderstanding about me. Fast forwarding to my birthday, I

1368
00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:52,640
Speaker 1: specifically asked him to bring his girlfriend with him, because

1369
00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:55,800
Speaker 1: I think all kinds of misunderstandings would go away once

1370
00:59:55,840 --> 00:59:58,440
Speaker 1: we're introduced to each other. She'll understand what kind of

1371
00:59:58,520 --> 01:00:00,720
Speaker 1: person I am and what kind of friendship I have

1372
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:02,800
Speaker 1: with Zed. I wanted to make sure I knew all

1373
01:00:02,840 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 1: her boundaries so that I can make sure I can

1374
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:06,640
Speaker 1: follow them so that my friend doesn't have to be

1375
01:00:06,720 --> 01:00:09,320
Speaker 1: in a bad position. It's a long friendship and it's

1376
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 1: very precious to me. But I don't mean to be

1377
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:14,000
Speaker 1: any kind of trouble. But she did not come, and

1378
01:00:14,080 --> 01:00:16,160
Speaker 1: I ended up confronting Zed in front of a couple

1379
01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:19,000
Speaker 1: other close friends of ours, and he finally admitted that

1380
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:23,000
Speaker 1: his girlfriend doesn't like me and doesn't like him being

1381
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:25,520
Speaker 1: close to me. It was kind of known to me

1382
01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:28,560
Speaker 1: at that point, but I was still confused because I

1383
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:32,000
Speaker 1: haven't even met her, so why would she not like me.

1384
01:00:32,240 --> 01:00:34,960
Speaker 1: All our other friends also think that she will have

1385
01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:37,880
Speaker 1: a change of mind if she meets me, but Zed said, unfortunately,

1386
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:40,480
Speaker 1: she just doesn't want to. So I decided not to

1387
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:42,880
Speaker 1: bother them anymore. Now I only talk to Zed when

1388
01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:46,280
Speaker 1: he asks me for something, nothing initiated from my side.

1389
01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:46,960
Speaker 2: I don't like that.

1390
01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:48,920
Speaker 1: I don't like that either. I mean, it sounds like

1391
01:00:49,040 --> 01:00:51,040
Speaker 1: it's not Zed, it sounds like it's his girlfriend on

1392
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:55,800
Speaker 1: and so he's like eh, and then you can't then

1393
01:00:56,120 --> 01:00:58,200
Speaker 1: make him choose between you and her.

1394
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:01,440
Speaker 2: Hope he's doing every thing that they're trying to like,

1395
01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:05,960
Speaker 2: I'm trying to be very particular here, be very nice

1396
01:01:06,240 --> 01:01:10,680
Speaker 2: and nice, respect boundaries and communicate that, and it's still

1397
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:11,280
Speaker 2: not working.

1398
01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:14,280
Speaker 1: Yeah. The funny thing is I met with Ze a

1399
01:01:14,360 --> 01:01:17,320
Speaker 1: couple more times with some other friends of ours, including

1400
01:01:17,480 --> 01:01:20,360
Speaker 1: female friends. They had all met his girlfriend, but she

1401
01:01:20,520 --> 01:01:24,520
Speaker 1: had no issues with them, only me. And by the way,

1402
01:01:24,960 --> 01:01:27,960
Speaker 1: do you know what I have no issue with me? Well,

1403
01:01:28,120 --> 01:01:32,040
Speaker 1: besides you what you joining us when we go live

1404
01:01:32,240 --> 01:01:35,920
Speaker 1: every weekday at three pm PST on Facebook, on YouTube,

1405
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:39,680
Speaker 1: on TikTok, on Twitch, Just tap our profile and you're

1406
01:01:39,880 --> 01:01:42,640
Speaker 1: in easy And if you're watching this in the future,

1407
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:47,479
Speaker 1: we might be live right now, Opie's high key doing

1408
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:48,439
Speaker 1: everything right.

1409
01:01:48,440 --> 01:01:52,120
Speaker 2: Right, everything right, And I don't see how it could

1410
01:01:52,160 --> 01:01:54,360
Speaker 2: be perceived as a bad thing or like, no, she's

1411
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:56,400
Speaker 2: doing the wrong thing, but it somehow is it.

1412
01:01:56,520 --> 01:01:59,360
Speaker 1: Has to have been like a misunderstanding about like some

1413
01:01:59,600 --> 01:02:02,400
Speaker 1: moment had in the past where she's like, oh, Op

1414
01:02:02,640 --> 01:02:06,080
Speaker 1: wants Zed so bad, so bad. It's like she can't

1415
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:07,680
Speaker 1: hang out with you because she just wants you.

1416
01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:10,480
Speaker 2: Do you think Zed has feelings for Op? That's why

1417
01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:12,440
Speaker 2: Zed is like also like I got to keep my

1418
01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:14,840
Speaker 2: distance because I can really hurt myself.

1419
01:02:15,040 --> 01:02:19,600
Speaker 1: No, actually I don't, because I think if he did,

1420
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:24,240
Speaker 1: he probably would have taken an opportunity, or he would

1421
01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:27,920
Speaker 1: have tried to explore that possibility earlier on.

1422
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:30,680
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe he just got afraid. I mean that happens

1423
01:02:30,680 --> 01:02:32,200
Speaker 2: all the time, Like, oh, it's one of my friends.

1424
01:02:32,200 --> 01:02:33,600
Speaker 2: I don't want to ruin the friendship. I want to

1425
01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:34,360
Speaker 2: keep maintaining this.

1426
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:36,240
Speaker 1: Well that's what he said too. Well that's the thing

1427
01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:38,080
Speaker 1: when when she was like, oh he thinks I have

1428
01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:40,080
Speaker 1: a crush, I mean, okay, that's fine. No, we'll just

1429
01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:40,439
Speaker 1: be friends.

1430
01:02:40,480 --> 01:02:42,480
Speaker 2: I don't know. That's what I want to think with

1431
01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:45,160
Speaker 2: like the oh a friend, a mutual friend of ours,

1432
01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:46,640
Speaker 2: like came out of the blue, and like do you

1433
01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:48,560
Speaker 2: like that? You kind of like that, don't you? And

1434
01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:49,880
Speaker 2: you're like it's gonna random.

1435
01:02:50,040 --> 01:02:53,320
Speaker 1: But Zed and his girlfriend are kind of going through

1436
01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:56,080
Speaker 1: a rough patch right now because of their different goals

1437
01:02:56,120 --> 01:02:58,720
Speaker 1: in life. She is a very ambitious gal and he

1438
01:02:58,880 --> 01:03:01,720
Speaker 1: is very easy going. I still talk with Zed whenever

1439
01:03:01,800 --> 01:03:04,480
Speaker 1: he contacts me, but I kind of feel bad because

1440
01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:07,720
Speaker 1: I think I'm stepping on some boundaries, even though they

1441
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:10,080
Speaker 1: never were shown to me. I don't want to ruin

1442
01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:12,000
Speaker 1: a good friendship. But I also don't want to be

1443
01:03:12,040 --> 01:03:15,040
Speaker 1: the reason for another girl to be unhappy. So am

1444
01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:17,920
Speaker 1: I the A hole? Please be gentle with words. I

1445
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:21,040
Speaker 1: know we're a loving community, not a hating one. Thanks, guys.

1446
01:03:21,360 --> 01:03:24,400
Speaker 2: I like op OPI seems really like he's cute. Oh

1447
01:03:24,480 --> 01:03:26,840
Speaker 2: he's cute. It's just like the way, Opie, you're Sweetie,

1448
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:29,160
Speaker 2: you're cute. On how you you wrote that, how you

1449
01:03:29,520 --> 01:03:32,120
Speaker 2: said everything, how you want to go about like boundaries.

1450
01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:36,640
Speaker 1: Oh, pie for sure, sweety sweety pie out of sweety

1451
01:03:36,680 --> 01:03:40,280
Speaker 1: pie max max max level sweetness level. No, I wouldn't

1452
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:43,280
Speaker 1: say you're the a hole here. No, I wouldn't even

1453
01:03:43,360 --> 01:03:46,040
Speaker 1: say there's Well, if there had to be one a hole,

1454
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:48,320
Speaker 1: I guess it would be the girlfriend. But she's sure

1455
01:03:48,440 --> 01:03:50,320
Speaker 1: she's operating from a place where she.

1456
01:03:50,520 --> 01:03:53,640
Speaker 2: Just it's it's a place of insecurity and fear right

1457
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:54,560
Speaker 2: and then control.

1458
01:03:54,720 --> 01:03:57,360
Speaker 1: From her point of view, it makes perfect sense for

1459
01:03:57,440 --> 01:03:59,400
Speaker 1: her to want nothing to do with someone who she

1460
01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:01,760
Speaker 1: thinks has like a big crush on her boyfriend, or

1461
01:04:01,840 --> 01:04:03,680
Speaker 1: that makes sense that she wouldn't want him to have

1462
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:05,960
Speaker 1: anything to do with her either, or that could be.

1463
01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:08,480
Speaker 2: A thorn in the side of a relationship. Hence why

1464
01:04:08,600 --> 01:04:11,560
Speaker 2: she's limiting it. We don't know. Maybe if we only

1465
01:04:11,640 --> 01:04:14,280
Speaker 2: know this is from op Yeah and Zed. We don't

1466
01:04:14,320 --> 01:04:16,680
Speaker 2: know if Zed is also doing this with every other female,

1467
01:04:16,680 --> 01:04:17,840
Speaker 2: but it seems like it probably is.

1468
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:20,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean they have other female friends that his

1469
01:04:20,640 --> 01:04:22,320
Speaker 1: girlfriend is not doesn't have any.

1470
01:04:22,200 --> 01:04:24,360
Speaker 2: Problems with That's what I'm saying. We don't know. We

1471
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 2: don't know the total like if it's just Ope strictly,

1472
01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:29,600
Speaker 2: or it's like a couple other girls, or like two girls,

1473
01:04:29,720 --> 01:04:31,640
Speaker 2: three girl. We don't know. But what I do know

1474
01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:34,800
Speaker 2: is that's very toxic to limit your partner from talking

1475
01:04:34,880 --> 01:04:37,400
Speaker 2: to people who is just a platonic friend. If it

1476
01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:39,720
Speaker 2: was a history of like an ex, I can see that.

1477
01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:42,720
Speaker 2: Or again, if there's a history of like them casually

1478
01:04:42,760 --> 01:04:43,760
Speaker 2: doing something, I don't know.

1479
01:04:44,000 --> 01:04:46,800
Speaker 1: I'm Here's what I'll say about that from personal experience

1480
01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:49,600
Speaker 1: is that, like, I agree with you most of the time,

1481
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:52,520
Speaker 1: but sometimes, I mean I don't. I can't speak for

1482
01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:55,040
Speaker 1: the ladies if they have this intuition, but sometimes the

1483
01:04:55,120 --> 01:04:59,560
Speaker 1: guys they have an intuition. That's fine. I dated somebody

1484
01:04:59,760 --> 01:05:02,080
Speaker 1: and I had a guy who started wanting to hang

1485
01:05:02,120 --> 01:05:04,240
Speaker 1: out with her frequently, and she was just like.

1486
01:05:04,280 --> 01:05:06,400
Speaker 2: Oh, he's a cool guy, and I was just like,

1487
01:05:06,760 --> 01:05:08,920
Speaker 2: he's trying, he's trying to be sly.

1488
01:05:09,160 --> 01:05:12,640
Speaker 1: He does come off pretty cool. That doesn't make a thing, hmm.

1489
01:05:13,520 --> 01:05:15,400
Speaker 1: But that's the end of that story and the end

1490
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:18,520
Speaker 1: of this episode. So if you love us, make sure

1491
01:05:18,560 --> 01:05:19,360
Speaker 1: you subscribe.

1492
01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:22,440
Speaker 2: We love you and see you tomorrow.