Speaker 1: Welcome to How to Money. I'm Joel and I'm Matt
Speaker 1: and with me here is my wife Kate. And my
Speaker 1: wife's here too, Emily, And today we're talking about couples
Speaker 1: and money. That's right, Matt today on the podcast. I'm
Speaker 1: so excited that our wives are here and that we're
Speaker 1: gonna be able to talk about like our financial faux
Speaker 1: pause and the things that we've done well together kind
Speaker 1: of how we've built our finances as couples and hopefully
Speaker 1: with our wives. Yeah, and hopefully have some takeaways for
Speaker 1: the audience out there. And we actually have some audience
Speaker 1: questions that we're gonna feature in this episode that we
Speaker 1: got from our Facebook group, And if you are not
Speaker 1: a member of the Facebook group yet, you really should
Speaker 1: sign up. Yeah, man, And hopefully if this goes well too,
Speaker 1: we'll do some more episodes like this, or like a
Speaker 1: shorter version where we kind of answer some questions for
Speaker 1: folks that right in. I think that'd be awesome. If
Speaker 1: you've got some questions that you want answered on the show,
Speaker 1: feel free to shoot an email to us all and
Speaker 1: we should let people know obviously this is a special
Speaker 1: episode because our wives are here, right baby, I'm here. Well,
Speaker 1: we're also we're recording this at the beach on vacation
Speaker 1: with our families, and so this is kind of a
Speaker 1: fun treat to get to record an episode while we're
Speaker 1: chilling together for a week. Yeah. Man, this is the
Speaker 1: annual company retreat. Not quite a retreat, but we're all
Speaker 1: together here in an Airbnb. And this isn't the first
Speaker 1: time that we've shared an Airbnb as well, but I'll say, Kate,
Speaker 1: this is maybe one of the smaller airbnbs that we've
Speaker 1: been in. Yes, we have four kiddo's in one room,
Speaker 1: two sets abug beds. So this might be a super
Speaker 1: short podcast. We'll see how that goes. Yeah, let's hope
Speaker 1: they stay asleep. Are you guys a fan of the
Speaker 1: tomato motif that they have all over the house? Dude,
Speaker 1: there's tomatoes everywhere. Thank you even describe it really, but
Speaker 1: there's just lots more tomatoes than you would think they
Speaker 1: could actually include in one space explosion most definitely a
Speaker 1: tomato explosion. Oh man. And what's great about the house
Speaker 1: I too, is it does have a pool. So we're
Speaker 1: in We're at Jack's Beach down in Florida, and sweet
Speaker 1: pool it's heated, and it's got a little cabana and
Speaker 1: the name of the cabana is tomatoes spelled backwards, So
Speaker 1: we're not joking. Literally, they're tomatoes all over the kitchen,
Speaker 1: tomato plates and old tomato cans and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: And then they made the commando tomatoes spelled backwards that
Speaker 1: the people obviously enjoy tomatoes here, right. I'm it's impressive.
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like that's typical for like a
Speaker 1: standard beach rental. You know what you find on Airbnb.
Speaker 1: This isn't like the chic monotone. Tomatoes are all over.
Speaker 1: It's not typical. No, there's so many tomatoes. There's a
Speaker 1: tomato wreath. Yeah, literally, it's like a Christmas wreath. But
Speaker 1: tomatoes red and green. Well, you can't discriminate, right, you
Speaker 1: gotta have red and green tomatoes. I don't know, But
Speaker 1: for real, though, this is one way we like to,
Speaker 1: you know, hang out together as friends and save money
Speaker 1: at the same time. We were going together get a
Speaker 1: beach house together. We save a ton of money. We
Speaker 1: pool our resources, and I mean Kate does a ton
Speaker 1: of the cooking, which is awesome. You guys enjoyed some
Speaker 1: of the meals so far. Yeah, I would say Kate's
Speaker 1: cookie might be the highlight of our trip next to
Speaker 1: the beach. Yeah, it's great. Um. And the crazy thing
Speaker 1: is we have five girls total and then there's four
Speaker 1: of us. Are nine people in this house to three bedroom,
Speaker 1: one bath house. There is a small bathroom on the
Speaker 1: back side of the pool, like that's made of concrete
Speaker 1: and doesn't feel like a real bathroom. Um, but so
Speaker 1: it's kind of fun and camp be a little bit,
Speaker 1: but we were saving money having fun. Definitely can't be Ye,
Speaker 1: there's a drain in a bathroom and so the bathroom
Speaker 1: is a shower and so I don't exactly know how
Speaker 1: that works, but I think it does. Living that hashtag
Speaker 1: PNP life dog. Yeah. And something else man that we
Speaker 1: just scovered, uh totally randomly was the Southern Swells Brewing
Speaker 1: which is an amazing local craft brewery that has been
Speaker 1: open for about a year. Uh. Yeah, Joel and I
Speaker 1: were driving up to Publics to grab a few things
Speaker 1: that we forgot and totally stopped in. They were making
Speaker 1: some awesome beers. We got a flight which was very delicious,
Speaker 1: and we liked it so much that we we got
Speaker 1: some beers and brought them home. Yeah, I gotta feature
Speaker 1: some of these one of these Southern swell beers on
Speaker 1: the podcast after hitting up their tasting room. Um, and yeah,
Speaker 1: we hit up the Breweryfortunately the girls were mostly asleep
Speaker 1: or the wives might have been more upset. Maybe it
Speaker 1: was fortunate it was during naptime. But you know, we
Speaker 1: brought beer back, so I think all as well. So
Speaker 1: on that note, we should crack it. Yeah. So we
Speaker 1: got these sixteen ounce four packs, which means we each
Speaker 1: get a pint. Oh man, Okay, So if you have
Speaker 1: a vacation rental or an airbnb, just make sure you
Speaker 1: have at least pint glasses or I mean, ideally you'd
Speaker 1: have a tulip glass as well. But man, if you
Speaker 1: had a pint, just some basic pint glasses, I don't
Speaker 1: want to knocker our house here, but man, it would
Speaker 1: be great if the cups weren't just red plastic, proper glass.
Speaker 1: War would be a major plus. And so next time
Speaker 1: I'm putting that on our packing list, we're bringing our
Speaker 1: own toolip glasses. That's pretty nerdy, I know, alright, Matt,
Speaker 1: So this is pouring like a hazy orange grating up
Speaker 1: into like a yellow at the top, beautiful, beautiful color. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll go ahead and state that this is it's an
Speaker 1: I p A. But this is a New England style
Speaker 1: I PA. So it's got that quintessential sort of hazy, juicy,
Speaker 1: kind of orange juice looking look to it. So let's
Speaker 1: get the flavor reviews first from our wives. Okay, I'll
Speaker 1: go first. So I don't always love these hazy I
Speaker 1: p a s, but I really do love this one
Speaker 1: because I feel like it has more of a pine
Speaker 1: edge to it, and I'm more about the pine like
Speaker 1: West Coast I p a s, and this is a
Speaker 1: little more along that line where some of them, I
Speaker 1: feel like you're a little too Ora Geane, a little
Speaker 1: too sweet, a little too thick. This is not this
Speaker 1: is great. I love this. Yeah, I love it. I
Speaker 1: think it's great. I love hazy I p A. Actually,
Speaker 1: I pas are probably my favorite category of beer. It's
Speaker 1: nice and juicy, it's perfect to drink on the beach. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And Emily actually actually introduced me in I PA because
Speaker 1: when I first met her, I was slumming it with
Speaker 1: the brown ales and the stouts, and I feel like
Speaker 1: she kind of introduced me to some of the more
Speaker 1: bitter beers, and so thanks, thanks, baby, You're welcome. Is
Speaker 1: that kind of how it starts with like the brown
Speaker 1: nails and the stouts, like when you're in college. I
Speaker 1: feel like I think it starts with a Miller LIGHTE
Speaker 1: and light as far as getting into the craft beers,
Speaker 1: maybe even a smart off ice. You just got ice
Speaker 1: that has like no element of class to it. I think,
Speaker 1: do you remember turbot Dog? I bet you drink turbo
Speaker 1: dog Emily in Abida? No? Yes, did you really? Dude?
Speaker 1: I drink turbo dog all the time when I was
Speaker 1: living up in North Carolina. That brown ale legit. I
Speaker 1: would have that. That's when I learned how to drink
Speaker 1: beer in the shower, because that was the thing. So
Speaker 1: I was like, you can you need to have a
Speaker 1: cold beer in the shower. It's like it's called a
Speaker 1: shower beer and you'll love it. And I did, what
Speaker 1: else would you call a beer in the shower? Shower
Speaker 1: beer sounds appropriate? Did you have a better name for it?
Speaker 1: Good morning? Oh? No, I shower a night, so it's
Speaker 1: a it's appropriate. Oh that's true. Yeah, I guess it's
Speaker 1: good for you. That's why you shower at night so
Speaker 1: you can have a beer. I mean, I don't have
Speaker 1: beer in the shower like every single night, but every
Speaker 1: now and then it's a it's a nice thing like
Speaker 1: wine in the bathtub. Makes sense, it's my version of
Speaker 1: wine in the bathtub. Are there candles and bubbles? No,
Speaker 1: there is a lutha. So I think we need to
Speaker 1: take the whole family to that tasting room because you
Speaker 1: and I had some one by there twice now without
Speaker 1: the family, while we've been hashtag dead beet dads. I mean,
Speaker 1: we gotta we gotta pick up stuff at public How
Speaker 1: many times have we been up? Oh, we should go
Speaker 1: to that brewery. Maybe tomorrow and the next day. No,
Speaker 1: for real, though, I think we're gonna take the whole
Speaker 1: family because they've got a great tasting room. They've got
Speaker 1: like that washer toss game. I saw. All I know
Speaker 1: is I saw other kids running around there, and I
Speaker 1: think it'll be a blast. Yeah, no, Dad left behind.
Speaker 1: You can't leave us. We gotta be there. But seriously,
Speaker 1: if you're in jack speech, totally check out Southern Swells,
Speaker 1: great tasting room area and the beers like they've got
Speaker 1: me a ton of New England style, I geays and
Speaker 1: then some great sours and other stuff too that their
Speaker 1: beers were phenomenal. Let's get in the subject in hand.
Speaker 1: I think people want to hear what our wives think
Speaker 1: about our oddities with money and uh, like I said,
Speaker 1: we had some questions from the Facebook group. The first
Speaker 1: one was about beer, so let's stick to the beer
Speaker 1: theme for one second till we actually get into the money.
Speaker 1: Why not? But Rob said, ladies, what are your favorite
Speaker 1: beer styles and what styles do you detest? And you
Speaker 1: want to take this one first? So typically, like I said,
Speaker 1: I pads are one of my favorite, but currently the summertime,
Speaker 1: I'm really into the Creature Comforence parody. So they're cherry sour,
Speaker 1: so good. I love drinking one of those at the
Speaker 1: porch on the porch at night after the kids are down.
Speaker 1: It's perfect beer. I don't like is the Gooza, Goose Goose?
Speaker 1: What is it the Goza or the Goose? Which one
Speaker 1: that's really really funky? That's it. Yeah, I'm not into
Speaker 1: the Goose. I just can't get on board with that funk,
Speaker 1: which is sad because that's like one of my all
Speaker 1: time favorite styles. That's the like super funky it takes
Speaker 1: years to make Belgian style beer that spontaneously ferments, and
Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan. But you know what, we still
Speaker 1: be married, We still get along even though you don't
Speaker 1: like the Goose. So as I mentioned before, West Coastyle,
Speaker 1: I pas are rejum for sure. Least favorite detests is
Speaker 1: a strong word, but least favorite beers are probably Belgian
Speaker 1: beers in general. I just I can't get behind triples.
Speaker 1: I really can't. It's just not my thing at all.
Speaker 1: And I would have said I don't like any Belgian
Speaker 1: beers at all, except that you recently had Oha Gosh
Speaker 1: Curio at home and actually thought that was pretty great.
Speaker 1: Maybe it was like a nostalgia thing because it's one
Speaker 1: of the first bigger, more craft beers that I have
Speaker 1: ever had, But it was pretty great. So maybe I
Speaker 1: don't have a beer that I did test just a country,
Speaker 1: just Belgium. Guys, don't ever go there. The beers are terrible.
Speaker 1: And if you listen to this podcast, I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: you know what beer is Jewel and I like, yeah,
Speaker 1: let's just move on. If you don't, there's twenty one
Speaker 1: previous episodes and you can check those out. We've been
Speaker 1: drinking a lot of good stuff. All right, So first question,
Speaker 1: and we can alternate who starts first, but uh, I'll
Speaker 1: ask him this one first. So, M, when did you
Speaker 1: first realize that my relationship to money is just a
Speaker 1: little bit different than the way most people relate to money. Well,
Speaker 1: I think I kind of knew it right off the bat,
Speaker 1: because you worked for Clark Howard and worked in the
Speaker 1: financial realm, and you know, you just were always talking
Speaker 1: about money, so I knew it was important. But then
Speaker 1: as I started to meet your friends and family and
Speaker 1: they would share some interesting stories about you, I kind
Speaker 1: of got a better picture of Oh, please do tell
Speaker 1: I need to hear these of how you thought about money,
Speaker 1: and I just my favorite one was the one I
Speaker 1: think you were in college, maybe even high school, and
Speaker 1: you had invited maybe four or five friends over to
Speaker 1: grill hamburgers. I will never live this one down, and
Speaker 1: you should not ever. So as you had grilled hamburgers,
Speaker 1: everybody had eating their food, just relaxing, sitting around, and
Speaker 1: you're like, Okay, that'll be a few dollars for the
Speaker 1: coal that we used. You charmed all of your friends charcoal, Yes,
Speaker 1: charged all of your friends. The charcoal you had used
Speaker 1: to grilled their burgers after they had eaten Kingsford Scrooge
Speaker 1: over here. Man. No one knew it was coming before
Speaker 1: you had invited them, So I just I thought, uh,
Speaker 1: there's some interesting thoughts he's got about money. True story.
Speaker 1: I'm ashamed of it now, I will admit, and I
Speaker 1: think I've grown a little bit since those days, hopefully so.
Speaker 1: But yes, Okay, that's a good that's a good place
Speaker 1: to start. I like that. It's kay. How about you?
Speaker 1: Were there any red flags that popped up early on
Speaker 1: when we first uh I started dating, were engaged? Let's
Speaker 1: hear it. Well, we're going to back up before dating
Speaker 1: or engaged to the first time I met Matt. He
Speaker 1: was wearing shoes that had previously been thrown away by
Speaker 1: his dad. There are old gray new balances that Matt
Speaker 1: had repurposed into sandals by cutting off the backs, and
Speaker 1: does no the toes still existed. The toes were partially there,
Speaker 1: so they had blown out, and you were like, who's
Speaker 1: that hottie in the funky new sandals? Right? I mean?
Speaker 1: I was like, how can how is no one saying
Speaker 1: anything about this? What is his deal? And so I
Speaker 1: found out right away that like he just needed some
Speaker 1: shoes one day and just wanted them to be sandals.
Speaker 1: But that's all he had at the moment, so he
Speaker 1: just like made it happen. I will say I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure I was ahead of my time because I think
Speaker 1: a couple of years after that, I saw some sneakers
Speaker 1: that literally were created that way, that were manufactured without
Speaker 1: the backs all the way down to the soul, and they,
Speaker 1: you know, they look like the broken stock clogg sort of,
Speaker 1: but they were tennis shoes. That was me. That was
Speaker 1: my idea, You're welcome new balance. That's definitely true. It
Speaker 1: became a thing after that, and it was clear that like,
Speaker 1: he didn't choose to make these sandals because he couldn't
Speaker 1: afford sandals. It was more because it was the principle here,
Speaker 1: and these shoes were perfectly good and he was just
Speaker 1: gonna wear them. I'm all about that principle. I respected
Speaker 1: that even though it was just really bizarre. Did they
Speaker 1: smell weird? I never got so close. This also might
Speaker 1: explain my cut off shorts that I tend to. Dude,
Speaker 1: We're in Florida and I did not bring my georts
Speaker 1: missed opportunity wondering what they were. I do have my
Speaker 1: other cut off shorts, but I mean, when you're done
Speaker 1: with pants, repurpose them, right, That's just part of That's
Speaker 1: one of the tenants recycle reusers. I don't know what
Speaker 1: is it? Reduced users? Yes, that that I mean hopefully
Speaker 1: you kind of you know, grown to love that and
Speaker 1: who I am? Any other any other things you want
Speaker 1: to share so many but I feel like we should
Speaker 1: move on. Okay, okay, one more so. The first time Matt,
Speaker 1: Matt used to take me in his car to church
Speaker 1: on Sundays, and when we got in his jeep, I
Speaker 1: realized there was like this live wire and this toggle
Speaker 1: switch between the driver's seat and the passenger's seat. And
Speaker 1: I reached for it and said, what does this do?
Speaker 1: And men that don't touch it? It's live, that's the
Speaker 1: shock wire. Don't touch that. Turns out the radiator fan
Speaker 1: was now working in his jeep, so instead of getting
Speaker 1: it fixed at the dealership or at any other place,
Speaker 1: he rigged it himself to a little toggle switch between
Speaker 1: the seats and he would turn it on himself to
Speaker 1: cool down the engine when it needed it. It's just
Speaker 1: one of many they're just so many. I don't even
Speaker 1: know where to go with it. That's right, I mean,
Speaker 1: you don't need the fan to run all the time,
Speaker 1: just when the temperature starts creeping up towards the pink
Speaker 1: the orange. I think we could just change the name
Speaker 1: of this episode to Kate's List and just just run
Speaker 1: through it real quick. You want to do that? Uh,
Speaker 1: now we'll move on. You got Emily's. You have a
Speaker 1: one more thing that you want to share about Joel?
Speaker 1: Anything weird. We've had a recent adventure in car wrapping.
Speaker 1: Those of you who may not know, like I did
Speaker 1: not know, you can actually take your car to go
Speaker 1: get wrapped in an advertisement and then you get paid
Speaker 1: for however many miles you put on your car. So
Speaker 1: Joel had been talking about this for a while and
Speaker 1: he decided to go with it, and we got our
Speaker 1: car wrapped, a little Nissan leaf wrapped in a big,
Speaker 1: huge advertisement for Salesforce. And it's like, shout out Salesforce.
Speaker 1: You don't get paid for that, there's no bonus there.
Speaker 1: And so I see him pull up and you know,
Speaker 1: are black, small, tiny and conspicuous car is now blue
Speaker 1: with this giant bear on the back. And some fluffy
Speaker 1: clouds that on the side. Big advertisement. Dude, it's cute.
Speaker 1: Though I saw it. I was like, when I saw it,
Speaker 1: I was just like, that's actually not that bad. It
Speaker 1: looked prety cute. If you're going to be a mobile advertisement,
Speaker 1: it's not bad. It's it's somewhat classy. It could be
Speaker 1: a lot worse. Uh, it could be a lot worse.
Speaker 1: But you're just probably used to me, my hair brained
Speaker 1: ideas to make a little bit of extra money or
Speaker 1: save a little bit extra money, like those come along.
Speaker 1: How often would you say, oh, I mean daily, I
Speaker 1: mean I really can't even keep counting. I should keep
Speaker 1: a little notebook. But it was kind of like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: we'll give this experiment a try for these two months
Speaker 1: and see how it goes, and we'll report back on
Speaker 1: that the other way. So okay, I will say it's
Speaker 1: garnished a lot of attention. Kids like it. The girls
Speaker 1: like it. They think it's cute because there's these little
Speaker 1: stuffed animal looking things on the very back of the car,
Speaker 1: and they're like, Daddy, your car is like blue now
Speaker 1: and it's got these little animals, and so they kind
Speaker 1: of dig it um. But if they were a little
Speaker 1: bit older, they might be completely embarrassed. Our neighbors are
Speaker 1: just mostly confused, So we've had playing a few times
Speaker 1: what's going on. But they're down with it, so that's good.
Speaker 1: They also know how weird I am. I think, so
Speaker 1: it flies. Then the next question is from Chelsea, and
Speaker 1: this is also posted on our Facebook group, and so
Speaker 1: she asked, do you have any advice for newlyweds in
Speaker 1: handling finances together? I'm go ahead to mention this as well.
Speaker 1: I mean, this is a big reason why we we're
Speaker 1: having our wives on to to talk with us as well,
Speaker 1: is because talking through finances with your spouse or with
Speaker 1: a significant other, it's just kind of tricky sometimes, and
Speaker 1: you know, we don't have it all figured out. But
Speaker 1: I think it's definitely helpful for folks to hear from
Speaker 1: our wives kind of how we talk about things, and
Speaker 1: at least there will be some insights that you folks
Speaker 1: can kind of maybe garner from these conversations. But yeah, Kate,
Speaker 1: so do you have any advice maybe for newlyweds who
Speaker 1: are talking about their finances together for the first time together.
Speaker 1: I think if you have just gotten married or you're
Speaker 1: just dating. I think it's good to take that time
Speaker 1: to do the hard work in the beginning, like go
Speaker 1: ahead and hash out where you've been financially, how you're
Speaker 1: raised financially, what that makes you think when it comes
Speaker 1: to spending your money, how you spend your money and why.
Speaker 1: And I just think like talking through you can't talk
Speaker 1: about it enough, really, like you've got to really get
Speaker 1: everything on the table so that when it comes time
Speaker 1: to make a budget, you know where the other person
Speaker 1: is coming from and you can be sensitive and kind
Speaker 1: when it comes to setting amounts for certain things or
Speaker 1: making goals or coming together on a certain vision. Yes,
Speaker 1: I totally agree with Kate. I think self awareness is
Speaker 1: a big part of talking about money because really money
Speaker 1: represents a lot of things, security, or the way you
Speaker 1: were raised. Like, money is not just about numbers, obviously,
Speaker 1: it's it comes with a lot of attachments. So you
Speaker 1: need to be aware of kind of how you view
Speaker 1: money and what's important to you, and then just communicate, communicate, communicate.
Speaker 1: I mean I feel like we had to talk about
Speaker 1: things and then go back and think about what the
Speaker 1: other person said and then come back and talk about
Speaker 1: them again. And I think a perfect example of that
Speaker 1: when we were newly married is that I had wanted
Speaker 1: a new pair of running shoes and because mine were
Speaker 1: completely worn out and like my great new balances. Only
Speaker 1: if only I had known that were available, maybe it
Speaker 1: would have taken those um but I had wanted a
Speaker 1: new pair of shoes and I was going to the
Speaker 1: store to buy them, and you kind of jumped on
Speaker 1: me and was like, you know, you need a research
Speaker 1: and find a good deal. You can't just go out
Speaker 1: and buy the shoes. And that hurt my feelings because
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I need this. I'm not just
Speaker 1: being frivolous. What about you know these new geans that
Speaker 1: you just bought in the speer that you just bought
Speaker 1: and two Joel, what it was important when you were
Speaker 1: shopping is that you got a discount. And to me,
Speaker 1: I was just thoughtful about my purchases. So it wasn't
Speaker 1: as personal as it felt in the moment. It's not
Speaker 1: really as personal. You know, we're on the same team
Speaker 1: and that's important to remember. We just had to talk through,
Speaker 1: well what did the shoes represent to me and what
Speaker 1: did it represent to you? And so yeah, I just
Speaker 1: totally agree with Kate said, be self aware and communicate
Speaker 1: continually about what the money is actually attached to, because
Speaker 1: that's really where the fights go. That's awesome. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think that. Uh, Like for me, when I was like
Speaker 1: super young and we weren't married, it was easy to
Speaker 1: not have a budget and to just kind of be
Speaker 1: frugal and and know that, you know, most of my
Speaker 1: money was going into savings and planning for future events.
Speaker 1: So then when we got married, I wasn't keeping a
Speaker 1: very good budget because I was only buying things really
Speaker 1: that were meaningful to me. And then so when we
Speaker 1: got married, it was your completely taking into account someone else.
Speaker 1: And that takes a lot of talking, and that takes
Speaker 1: a lot of intentionality, and it also I think for
Speaker 1: us took a lot of actually putting numbers down on
Speaker 1: paper because we were talking past each other. Or I
Speaker 1: think the fact that we didn't have a good budget
Speaker 1: to go off of that that really hurt us for
Speaker 1: the first year of marriage because we couldn't point to
Speaker 1: specific things. It was it was more theory. It was
Speaker 1: more you know, oh, this happened yesterday or last week,
Speaker 1: but we didn't actually you know, have numbers to go on.
Speaker 1: That kind of solidified where we were putting our funds,
Speaker 1: and so yeah, I think for us it really helped
Speaker 1: to communicate about money when we actually saw things on paper. Hey,
Speaker 1: you're spending this much on this, and that's important to you.
Speaker 1: And you know what, we each have our own separate
Speaker 1: amounts that we can spend each month now, and that
Speaker 1: just gives a lot of freedom as opposed to, you know,
Speaker 1: questioning every purchase that each other makes. Now we have
Speaker 1: a fund or a certain amount allotted right that it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter how you spend that. And if you need
Speaker 1: help finding a deal or whatever, I'm happy to help you.
Speaker 1: But if you just want to go out and do
Speaker 1: your thing, that's great. And I buy an eighteen dollar
Speaker 1: bottle of beer or something, and you're probably think that's crazy,
Speaker 1: but it's part of my budget, so it works. I
Speaker 1: just like to mention that Emily shook her head, yes
Speaker 1: when you said by an eighteen dollar Bolli beer and
Speaker 1: you think that's crazy. So I was just gonna say,
Speaker 1: just don't date anyone with us credit score less than
Speaker 1: like seven. I mean, that would just be an easier
Speaker 1: way to do it, right. There's no doubt that I
Speaker 1: had a credit score less than that when we started
Speaker 1: dating actually would be reasonable advice to think. I mean, no,
Speaker 1: I agree with y'all. I think what y'all said is great.
Speaker 1: Can you touch on this as well? You mentioned goals.
Speaker 1: I think that's so huge, right, and so Joel. I mean,
Speaker 1: we've we've done an episode recently about the why behind money.
Speaker 1: I think when you identify what it is that you're
Speaker 1: working towards, you've you've created a goal essentially, right, And
Speaker 1: then when you when you have a spouse or a
Speaker 1: significant other and you're working towards that goal. And so
Speaker 1: I mean, so if you've achieved that goal together, then
Speaker 1: your team you're working together, and you can achieve so
Speaker 1: much more when you're both on the same page. You're
Speaker 1: both going after something, and that changes everything. I totally
Speaker 1: agree with Matt. And to flip the inverse of that
Speaker 1: is to say, you know you're not when you disagree,
Speaker 1: you're not working against each other. It's not personal these disagreements.
Speaker 1: That's why it's so important to communicate because I think
Speaker 1: sometimes if Joelda don't want to spend money on me,
Speaker 1: or spend money the way I want to spend it,
Speaker 1: it can feel personal. But it's not. We're on the
Speaker 1: same team. You know, we're not only working towards these
Speaker 1: goals together. If there's a disagreement, we're still on the
Speaker 1: same team. And so it's so important to communicate because
Speaker 1: it's it's not personal necessarily. Yeah, Joel just doesn't hate
Speaker 1: your tennis shoes, right right. He doesn't want me to
Speaker 1: not run. He just wanted me to get a deal.
Speaker 1: And I will say to the conclusion of that story
Speaker 1: was that I said, Okay, that's fine, you have two
Speaker 1: days to find me a pair of tennis shoes at
Speaker 1: a discount, and if you can't, then I'm going to
Speaker 1: buy the shoes that I want. And he came through,
Speaker 1: and in two days he found me the exact pair
Speaker 1: of tennis shoes that I wanted specifically with like a
Speaker 1: twenty five dollar off keupon So I was really impressed.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's kind of my gift. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: lie keeper, which I think I mentioned at one point
Speaker 1: in the previous episode. The most difficult thing I had
Speaker 1: to deal with money wise was I loved finding a deal,
Speaker 1: and so sometimes I would buy things that I didn't
Speaker 1: need just because they were a deal. And that's a
Speaker 1: terrible way to live as well. And so I've really
Speaker 1: cut down on a lot and just kind of avoiding
Speaker 1: purchasing and and also sometimes spending more on things that
Speaker 1: I think will ask me a lot longer. But that
Speaker 1: is my gift. If you need a deal, if you
Speaker 1: need a coupon code, if you need to find something cheaper,
Speaker 1: let me know. I'll hunt it down for you. Man,
Speaker 1: it is a gift. You're like all about the chase, right,
Speaker 1: like the you like the thrill of the hunt, like
Speaker 1: a cheetah in that way. What do I do when
Speaker 1: I get it? I don't know, it goes in the closet.
Speaker 1: I know we've passed it or a syncrasies question, but
Speaker 1: this does remind me at the time you ordered like
Speaker 1: ten boxes of cheese it's on the internet because they
Speaker 1: were on sale. They were delivered to the front door
Speaker 1: and I opened it up and was like, what is
Speaker 1: this and where do I keep these cheese its? You
Speaker 1: don't even have kids then, right, no, no, but two
Speaker 1: adults gonna eat tin boxes and cheese. I love cheesus
Speaker 1: the perfect snack with craft. So piggybacking sort of off
Speaker 1: that question, then do you feel like our conversations about
Speaker 1: money have progressed over the years. Yes, definitely. I feel
Speaker 1: like they are more factual now, less emotional honestly, because
Speaker 1: we've dealt with a lot of the baggage that we
Speaker 1: have regarding money, and so I feel like when we
Speaker 1: talk about it now we know, like and we were saying, like,
Speaker 1: we're on the same team no matter what, so we
Speaker 1: don't really need to feel as personally offended if if
Speaker 1: we disagree. So yeah, I feel like they've gotten the
Speaker 1: conversations have gotten less emotional and shorter because it's just like, oh, wait,
Speaker 1: the grocery budget isn't working out because there's so many diapers,
Speaker 1: so we need to up by twenty bucks a month. Okay,
Speaker 1: cool done. Yeah, I completely agree. I feel like our
Speaker 1: conversations have become a little more automated because, like you said,
Speaker 1: we know that we are on the same team, and
Speaker 1: then if something if there is something that kind of
Speaker 1: pops up, it's sort of automatic. We just know that like, okay,
Speaker 1: this this sort of needs to be done now. There
Speaker 1: isn't a huge conversation that needs to take place, and
Speaker 1: we just kind of make a quick decision and then
Speaker 1: move on. Yes, and that comes from shared goals that
Speaker 1: we've hashed out over hours and hours and have agreed on.
Speaker 1: And so those goals are stated now and we can
Speaker 1: kind of look back at them and kind of assess
Speaker 1: what changes we want to make how it lines up
Speaker 1: with those goals, and we can do that pretty analytically
Speaker 1: at this point. So that's actually a lot easier. It's
Speaker 1: a lot less like philosophical and broad than it was
Speaker 1: in the beginning, where we really had to have conversations
Speaker 1: about how we feel about certain things, and those conversations
Speaker 1: were super important, and I'm glad that we spent so
Speaker 1: much time having those conversations, But now it doesn't really
Speaker 1: look like that for the most part. I will say
Speaker 1: that the hours and hours thing is like really important,
Speaker 1: right If you want to be really good at something,
Speaker 1: it takes a lot of time, and so those conversations,
Speaker 1: having them over time, like the first year, you probably
Speaker 1: won't be very good at them, um, but hopefully you
Speaker 1: can learn quickly and gather wisdom from other other places.
Speaker 1: But the more you talk, the more you keep the
Speaker 1: lines of communication open, the more you you're probably gonna
Speaker 1: out down here and there, But the more you can
Speaker 1: reopen them quickly and start talking about those things again.
Speaker 1: You know, the more likely you are to get on
Speaker 1: the same page more quickly, and so uh spending time
Speaker 1: doing the hard work talking about those things. Sitting down
Speaker 1: with a good beer and chatting about money and where
Speaker 1: what your goals are right like that? Those are those
Speaker 1: are huge things in the process of becoming better at
Speaker 1: communicating as a couple about money. Yeah, I think maybe
Speaker 1: a cup of coffee rather than that beer. It's probably
Speaker 1: my we could do pour over not poor. And one
Speaker 1: final thing I want to say to newlyweds. I think
Speaker 1: it's a big question of whether you have everything in
Speaker 1: the same account or separate accounts, and kind of how
Speaker 1: you handle those things. And I think part of that
Speaker 1: depends on the couple in particular. If you're older getting married,
Speaker 1: usually like let's say you're in your late twenties, thirties, uh, forties, whatever,
Speaker 1: and you've been living on your own for quite some
Speaker 1: time and used to spending money in your own way
Speaker 1: and handling your own finances, I think it's okay to
Speaker 1: keep your accounts separate, but I think ultimately it is
Speaker 1: a good goal to strive for in marriage to have
Speaker 1: your accounts together. I know, it just can be harder
Speaker 1: to to marry those accounts. Like the older that you get,
Speaker 1: you know, the more time you've had living on your
Speaker 1: own under your own uh financial rules and regulations. But
Speaker 1: that's definitely a conversation that you should have talk about
Speaker 1: the pros and cons of combining into one account or
Speaker 1: keeping your finances separate. But really, when you're entering into
Speaker 1: a marriage, you're combining so many things. You're creating a
Speaker 1: new family, and so I think ultimately the best thing
Speaker 1: to do is to work towards having a one account
Speaker 1: and everything flowing together. But certainly that comes down to
Speaker 1: a personal decision. That's what we have both chosen to
Speaker 1: do as couples. But you know, definitely think through it.
Speaker 1: That's an important decision that needs to be made as
Speaker 1: newlyweds okay a newly wed or otherwise. Like, you can
Speaker 1: make this decision at any point in your relationship. You
Speaker 1: don't have to be newlywed or dating or even recently married. Like,
Speaker 1: if you've decided that this is the direction we're going
Speaker 1: to go together, you start whenever you start, and you
Speaker 1: just pick up. You start having hard conversations. It doesn't
Speaker 1: matter if you're ten years in, you just decide together
Speaker 1: that you're going to do it, and then you just
Speaker 1: go for it. You just dive right in, have those
Speaker 1: conversations and start figuring some things out. You don't have
Speaker 1: to be newly with. I know this was a newly
Speaker 1: wedd advice question, but I really think you can start
Speaker 1: this at any point and and it can so be beneficial. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I totally agree with Kate and to kind of
Speaker 1: tie together what Kate Angel are saying. I think the
Speaker 1: reason we think it's important is because trust is really
Speaker 1: important when it comes to combining money. You're living your
Speaker 1: life so closely with your partner, whether you have separate
Speaker 1: accounts or not, you have to trust your teammate, and
Speaker 1: so you need to start asking those questions, as is
Speaker 1: Kate saying. At any point you can do that, but
Speaker 1: trust is pretty fundamental to combining your finances and communicating
Speaker 1: about it and self awareness. These are all really important
Speaker 1: factors for anyone in any relationship dealing with their income together.
Speaker 1: Nice man, that's so true. I love that, all right.
Speaker 1: Next question comes from Katie also on our Facebook page.
Speaker 1: She wants to know what's been our biggest financial disagreement.
Speaker 1: M this is kind of a tough one, I would
Speaker 1: say so again being newly married. I don't think we
Speaker 1: had huge blow ups over money, but we had a
Speaker 1: lot of small, little TIFFs where we had to continue
Speaker 1: to communicate and work things out. So that kind of
Speaker 1: comes to mind. But the biggest disagreement that I can
Speaker 1: think of recently is probably over whether or not we
Speaker 1: should buy Atlanta United season tickets. All snap we are
Speaker 1: and so many of our friends had tickets, and we
Speaker 1: went back and forth and back and forth, and Joel
Speaker 1: really wanted him, and I just did not feel like
Speaker 1: it was a wise decision for where we were at
Speaker 1: the time to spend money on that. Plus I just
Speaker 1: don't know that much about soccer. I'm really getting into it,
Speaker 1: and I love Atlanta United. It just was not my
Speaker 1: passion like it was Joels necessarily, So it just took
Speaker 1: a lot of conversations. I wouldn't say it was a
Speaker 1: huge fight or this huge disagreement. We just probably talked
Speaker 1: about it every three days for a few weeks as
Speaker 1: to whether or not we should do it, and we
Speaker 1: just finally decided no. If we weren't both on board,
Speaker 1: It was not a great decision. Yea. I mean I
Speaker 1: think it was good for us too. It's good for
Speaker 1: us to you know, talk through something like that for
Speaker 1: a long time and come to a conclusion that, you know,
Speaker 1: it works for both of us because we're both in it.
Speaker 1: That's a big purchase and uh, I certainly don't have
Speaker 1: enough in my line item of the budget to justify that,
Speaker 1: and so it would have been something both of us
Speaker 1: would have had to really take on and consider. And
Speaker 1: so we came to the right conclusion for us. And
Speaker 1: so I think we ended up with some of my
Speaker 1: like birthday money or something. I bought a four pack
Speaker 1: of cheap seats and so that was kind of like
Speaker 1: the middle ground for us. And you know, I got
Speaker 1: to go to a few games this year, and um,
Speaker 1: it's been a lot of fun, and you know, not
Speaker 1: having season tickets, really it hasn't been that big of
Speaker 1: a deal. Kind of you might cry a little bit
Speaker 1: on game date. I mean seriously, though, that's a conversation
Speaker 1: we had to have. We also talked about it every
Speaker 1: three days for three weeks. Yeah, that's right. But I
Speaker 1: mean ultimately we spent a lot of time talking about it,
Speaker 1: and we identified that this was something that we both
Speaker 1: wanted to do right. It's something that we were both behind.
Speaker 1: It was just more of a matter of how much
Speaker 1: we're willing to spend right, and so we were both
Speaker 1: wanted to do it, and it was just like, well,
Speaker 1: we're gonna spend this much, We're gonna spend double this
Speaker 1: for better seats, and for us that was a tougher
Speaker 1: conversation because it kind of came down to the numbers.
Speaker 1: I think our biggest financial disagreement recently. I feel like
Speaker 1: this is what Emily was saying to It's not necessarily
Speaker 1: that we had this big disagreement, just that it was
Speaker 1: more of something we had to talk about a lot
Speaker 1: longer then maybe it seems like we should have talked
Speaker 1: about it, but we've talked for a long time about
Speaker 1: having Airbnb and our basement we're thinking about adding an
Speaker 1: apartment to our basement is no longer apartment that Matt
Speaker 1: is going to egg out by hand, thankfully. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you listen to that episode, but we're not
Speaker 1: doing that anymore. Somebody's going to build an apartment in
Speaker 1: our basement, which is a shame because Worth the Beach
Speaker 1: and Matt has been digging like math. He's so good
Speaker 1: at digging. I really like digging guys, and he's really
Speaker 1: taught the girls. I mean, you could have some little
Speaker 1: four year old helpers, and that made by example that
Speaker 1: might be against child labor laws. I don't know. Our
Speaker 1: family isn't going to dig out our basement but someone else's.
Speaker 1: And so we talked for a long time about airbnb
Speaker 1: and the incompetential with it, as well as the drawbacks
Speaker 1: of it, and I was more on the I had
Speaker 1: problems with the privacy of it, and I was a
Speaker 1: little worried about the noise issues. I didn't want our
Speaker 1: girls to feel like they're walking on eggshells if there
Speaker 1: was someone in our basement. So we've talked through a
Speaker 1: lot of that and worked out some privacy solutions and
Speaker 1: um drawn some lines of responsibility of who's going to
Speaker 1: do what, and it made me comfortable finally to go
Speaker 1: ahead and pull the trigger to start that process. So
Speaker 1: I think that's something that we didn't necessarily disagree about,
Speaker 1: but we didn't both understand how it is going to
Speaker 1: work best for our family or agree what we needed
Speaker 1: to do. That's probably most recently what we've disagreed slash
Speaker 1: talked about most. Yes, So I will say these are
Speaker 1: these things that are are big disagreements that seems pretty trivial,
Speaker 1: I think, probably compared to what a lot of people
Speaker 1: are going through, have gone through, or what they've seen,
Speaker 1: you know, modeled by you know, their parents or other
Speaker 1: people that they look up to, even who have had
Speaker 1: big financial struggles. And I've seen those financial struggles in
Speaker 1: other people and in people that I look up to
Speaker 1: and admire, and so yeah, we've been really fortunate that
Speaker 1: we haven't had any major, knockdown, drag out financial disagreements. Uh.
Speaker 1: The key, uh, you know, if there are major student
Speaker 1: loans or you know, big credit card debt they're getting
Speaker 1: into a relationship with is to be open and honest
Speaker 1: about it so that you can tackle it together. And
Speaker 1: I think that's probably the biggest thing that hinders a
Speaker 1: relationship is dishonesty. And so if you are not honest
Speaker 1: with your partner about the financial struggles of your past,
Speaker 1: or the debt that you're bringing into the relationship, or
Speaker 1: your credit score, whatever it is, those things you should
Speaker 1: be brought up over time. Your partner, if they're a
Speaker 1: good committed partner, They're not going to run away from you.
Speaker 1: When you come with honesty, they will want to meet
Speaker 1: you there and we'll want to work on it together.
Speaker 1: And so becoming a team when it comes to finances. Uh,
Speaker 1: that's the goal. Again, we don't do it perfectly, but
Speaker 1: you know, we're working on it and we're getting there,
Speaker 1: and we have to have these long drawn out discussions
Speaker 1: about you know, building an airbnb in our basement or
Speaker 1: buying soccer tickets, whatever it may be. But ultimately honesty
Speaker 1: is the best policy and is crucial when it comes
Speaker 1: to some of these financial discussions. Yeah, so that was
Speaker 1: the biggest you know, sort of disagreement, or at least
Speaker 1: the access that we sort of go through when we
Speaker 1: are faced with opposing opinions at least. So for you guys,
Speaker 1: what joy have you experienced from the way that you
Speaker 1: guys handle your finances. Yeah, that's a great question. The
Speaker 1: first thing that comes to mind is this, we've had
Speaker 1: some freedom to travel, and because we've been smart and
Speaker 1: cut back in particular areas, it's allowed us to do
Speaker 1: things like go on vacation like we are now, or
Speaker 1: to just kind of enjoy go out to dinner when
Speaker 1: we want and not be stressed about it. So that's
Speaker 1: just kind of like small daily joys. But I think
Speaker 1: a huge joy that it's provided me is that Joel
Speaker 1: being smart about money and being willing to work hard
Speaker 1: with the Reynolds and kind of hustle where he does.
Speaker 1: I'm able to stay at home. My income isn't relied upon,
Speaker 1: and so I do work outside of the home, but
Speaker 1: very very part time. And that's actually just a really
Speaker 1: huge joy that we don't have the burden of needing
Speaker 1: two incomes, that I have an incredibly flexible schedule. If
Speaker 1: something's one of my kids are and they can't go
Speaker 1: to school, there's just I'm really flexible to be there.
Speaker 1: It's just a lifestyle I really appreciate and really and
Speaker 1: thankful for his foresight. That's kind of allowed me really
Speaker 1: some kind of financial independence, which I know we'll talk about,
Speaker 1: but that's it's kind of allowed that for me already
Speaker 1: in a sense, and that's a huge joy. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: what I'm truly thankful about with the way we handle
Speaker 1: our finances more than anything more than a vacation or
Speaker 1: you know, and we talked about on the way of money,
Speaker 1: there's a few things that Emily and I value the most.
Speaker 1: And and those are the things that other people might
Speaker 1: not care about at all, like travel or folk art
Speaker 1: I mentioned in that episode. Uh, And we put some
Speaker 1: of our money towards those things every year. But ultimately,
Speaker 1: in my opinion, nothing matters more than being able to
Speaker 1: choose whether you work or not. And and um, you know,
Speaker 1: I always want you to work if you want to work,
Speaker 1: but the great thing is you don't have to. And
Speaker 1: so it's been really awesome for you to be home
Speaker 1: with our girls for the most part. And and what
Speaker 1: that's done for us lifestyle wise and community wise, how
Speaker 1: we've been able to participate in our community as opposed
Speaker 1: to you know, both working fifty hours a week. Rental
Speaker 1: properties were a huge part of that has just been
Speaker 1: the greatest joy for me in in finances and and
Speaker 1: the way we handle our money. All right, Kay, what's
Speaker 1: the biggest joy you have experienced from the way your
Speaker 1: family handles your money? I think rather than joy, I
Speaker 1: might say freedom, which I think you guys mentioned too.
Speaker 1: I think there's been a lot of freedom that has
Speaker 1: come from the way we handle our finances. I think
Speaker 1: it's been for me I before we came into this relationship,
Speaker 1: I kind of had this perspective that you like, spend
Speaker 1: as little as you can, and anytime I did spend money,
Speaker 1: I kind of felt guilty about it. Anytime I went out,
Speaker 1: I didn't really enjoy myself because I felt like I
Speaker 1: should spend as little as I could. But I think
Speaker 1: with with the way that Matt views money, we get
Speaker 1: to choose an amount to spend on something, and the
Speaker 1: way I view it is more like, this is the
Speaker 1: amount of money I have to spend on this, And
Speaker 1: I think that's been a huge shift for me in
Speaker 1: the way I have view money like this is what
Speaker 1: I have decided to spend, and I can spend it
Speaker 1: guilt free. And money is not about gil is about
Speaker 1: the decisions that we've made together and the goals that
Speaker 1: we've set together and us achieving those. And so there's
Speaker 1: been so much freedom in that for me that I
Speaker 1: don't feel this skill all the time when I go
Speaker 1: out and and spend money. Yeah, I just I so
Speaker 1: appreciate what Kate just said, because I remember we talked
Speaker 1: about this a long time ago. Kate just saying there's
Speaker 1: freedom and and spending this amount you need to spend
Speaker 1: this amount because you've budgeted. And that's just been really
Speaker 1: helpful for me to know that you don't need to
Speaker 1: feel guilty. You don't need to feel guilty about this,
Speaker 1: Like it's in the budget and this is the purpose,
Speaker 1: So go for it. Okay, I'm glad you mentioned that too,
Speaker 1: because it actually makes me think of so the practical
Speaker 1: advice for the newlyweds. This is sort of maybe a
Speaker 1: more practical thing for folks to consider. But I would
Speaker 1: even suggest going to some sort of financial seminar or
Speaker 1: something like that, right, like you go, but if you're
Speaker 1: looking at marriage, you're you go through pre marriage counseling.
Speaker 1: I mean, with money being the number one reason why
Speaker 1: couples fight and get an arguments and and why relationships suffer, like,
Speaker 1: that's something that you need to invest time and effort
Speaker 1: and energy into. And we didn't mention this earlier, but
Speaker 1: this is something I mean, that's something that Kate and
Speaker 1: I did before we got married. We went this is
Speaker 1: sort of why I have the Dave Ramsey drop out moniker,
Speaker 1: uh you know on my name. But Kate and I
Speaker 1: went to the Dave Ramsey like event and I was, man,
Speaker 1: I was all about the Dave Ramsey planned and that
Speaker 1: was sort of how we started talking about money. Since then,
Speaker 1: we have changed. We definitely do things that don't align
Speaker 1: with the Dave Ramsey way. Uh, and that's fine, but
Speaker 1: for us that got us. That was a huge way
Speaker 1: that got us talking about money and sort of put
Speaker 1: it on the table as something that we could address.
Speaker 1: It wasn't just this thing that was unspoken and something
Speaker 1: that we never talked about. So yeah, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I just wanted to mention that real quick, because that's
Speaker 1: maybe a practical thing to to consider as uh, a
Speaker 1: financial counseling session or a financial seminar or something like
Speaker 1: that where the basics are addressed. Yeah, or listening to
Speaker 1: a great podcast together, or reading a good book together,
Speaker 1: Like there are some fantastic financial resources, many of which
Speaker 1: are free at your local library or on your podcast app.
Speaker 1: And going through something like that together, going through some
Speaker 1: specific topic ideas when that in relation to money, I mean,
Speaker 1: that's a great way to then you know, discuss them afterwards.
Speaker 1: That's super helpful. They can often give you kind of
Speaker 1: a base level of information and then something to then
Speaker 1: discussed together as a couple. I would say, also just
Speaker 1: talking about money with friends has been really huge and
Speaker 1: very helpful for us as well. Money can be a
Speaker 1: really sensitive, kind of taboo topic, but to be able
Speaker 1: to put it on the table and to talk to
Speaker 1: friends has really taken out some of the mystery and
Speaker 1: stress from it. So like, for example, Kate is just
Speaker 1: amazing in the kitchen and is great with a budget
Speaker 1: on what she spends with food, and I've just asked
Speaker 1: for a lot of help like how do you cook
Speaker 1: what and how do you combine this and what do
Speaker 1: you spend? And that has been and really insightful and helpful.
Speaker 1: And it's just there's great expectations of as friends who
Speaker 1: have kids who are a little bit you know, further
Speaker 1: along than we are. What do I expect for expenses
Speaker 1: here there? You know? What purchases do I really need
Speaker 1: for my kids? What do I not need? So community
Speaker 1: really has been invaluable, and and knowing how to talk
Speaker 1: about money together as a couple too. It's really has
Speaker 1: been a group process in a lot of ways. And
Speaker 1: by the way, there were some great questions on the
Speaker 1: Facebook group about kids and meal planning and saving money
Speaker 1: on groceries, and we'll get to those hopefully in future episodes,
Speaker 1: but we really wanted to stick to kind of the
Speaker 1: core topic of couples and money and so on that note,
Speaker 1: Connor had a question and said, do you guys agree
Speaker 1: as a couple on the goal of financial independence? Matt,
Speaker 1: I'll let y'all take that one first. Yeah, Connor, that's
Speaker 1: an awesome question. And so first I think we'll go
Speaker 1: ahead and sort of define at least what financial independence
Speaker 1: is for Kate and I, which is for us, it's
Speaker 1: having the option to continue working and the work that
Speaker 1: we're doing, or to potentially scale back and have more
Speaker 1: time to ourselves. For us, it's really about having the
Speaker 1: option to do the kind of work that we want
Speaker 1: to do, and and and even to do as much
Speaker 1: or as little work as we want to do. I
Speaker 1: don't know if that's the best definition, but I mean
Speaker 1: that's the definition we're going to work from for this question.
Speaker 1: For us, it's okay, what are your thoughts? I think
Speaker 1: we do agree on what financial independence looks like for us, Like,
Speaker 1: it doesn't look like not working anymore, it doesn't look
Speaker 1: like retirement. It it looks like working where we want
Speaker 1: to work as often as we want to and having
Speaker 1: our time at our own fingertips and not sacrificing that
Speaker 1: for financial independence a little bit earlier, where we could,
Speaker 1: you know, we could work harder now and be financially independent,
Speaker 1: be willing to be in the position to choose what
Speaker 1: we do and how often we do it a little
Speaker 1: bit sooner. But um, we're choosing to balance that a
Speaker 1: little bit with the time we have with our girls now.
Speaker 1: At the ages that they are, I think they need
Speaker 1: a lot of physical presence and that's something that we've
Speaker 1: had to discuss, not necessarily because we disagree, but just
Speaker 1: because we needed to figure out for our family what
Speaker 1: made the most sense for the ages that we're dealing
Speaker 1: with right now. Yeah, okay, I mean that's awesome. That's
Speaker 1: something we have talked about and we are in agreement there.
Speaker 1: It's financial independence is something that we want to achieve,
Speaker 1: but not at the expense of the short term goals.
Speaker 1: This isn't something we have to revisit and talk about
Speaker 1: because we feel that our goals have changed. It is
Speaker 1: just because sometimes it's easy to lose that vision of
Speaker 1: what we want our life to look like now. And
Speaker 1: so what I mean by that is, like you hear
Speaker 1: about vision leak when it comes to like marketing and
Speaker 1: things like that, you have to kind of remind people
Speaker 1: what the goal is, what what you want to do,
Speaker 1: what message you want to send out with marketing, I
Speaker 1: mean for our lives. It's the same thing. We stated
Speaker 1: that there are certain values and certain goals that we
Speaker 1: want to prioritize now. But the world and our jobs
Speaker 1: and just everything around us pulls on us and in
Speaker 1: the other direction to to spend our time elsewhere, and
Speaker 1: so it's easy to find ourselves in this cycle of
Speaker 1: buzziness and NonStop schedules and work and just everything that
Speaker 1: kind of comes along with life. And so the discussions
Speaker 1: we have are essentially to kind of recenter us, not
Speaker 1: to have these discussions for the first time. So it's
Speaker 1: just like a tune up. The discussions we have tend
Speaker 1: to be more of a I would say, like a
Speaker 1: tune up. Yeah, I agree with that. I think it's
Speaker 1: interesting when you have a variable income and when you
Speaker 1: work for yourself. I think we have the potential of
Speaker 1: overworking ourselves just by choice of going for this financial
Speaker 1: independence goal as hardness fast as we can. We can
Speaker 1: make that decision to work a lot more than we do,
Speaker 1: so It is a very it's an active conversation that
Speaker 1: we're kind of always engaged in. We talked about it
Speaker 1: a lot, and we're constantly looking at the calendar. When
Speaker 1: can Matt book? When can Matt not book? And so
Speaker 1: I think it's for us. It's just is very tangible
Speaker 1: thing that we're constantly talking about because when we don't work,
Speaker 1: we don't make money, and when we do work, we
Speaker 1: do so it seems like, oh, we could work all
Speaker 1: the time, but choosing to network has been super valuable
Speaker 1: for us, and I think, um a really hard decision, honestly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Kate Will said, how about you guys. So I think
Speaker 1: we agree on the goal of financial independence when we
Speaker 1: define that as freedom right. Freedom is a gift really
Speaker 1: in so many different ways. So when you have the
Speaker 1: freedom to choose how you want to work and how
Speaker 1: you want to make money and what you can kind
Speaker 1: of do with your time, I think we're all for that.
Speaker 1: I don't think financial independence is the idol in which
Speaker 1: we sacrifice everything on our all of our budget and
Speaker 1: all of our energy is not directed towards that, Like,
Speaker 1: we aren't on that train a percent, because life happens
Speaker 1: and we need to we have unexpected expenses, or sometimes
Speaker 1: we want to go over budget for this trip, and
Speaker 1: that's more important than reaching finance independence by a certain date.
Speaker 1: So I do think it is the goal we have
Speaker 1: in mind, and we agree upon that, and I think
Speaker 1: we are more frugal in some areas because we do
Speaker 1: want that to happen. But we have to be human
Speaker 1: about it. There's a lot of humanity in that as well.
Speaker 1: And sometimes, you know, you have to take your two
Speaker 1: year old to the doctor and two dollars to get
Speaker 1: X ray to be told that she can't poop. So
Speaker 1: life happens, you know, and you just have to be
Speaker 1: able to ride that train and not be deep railed.
Speaker 1: So wait, you're two year old or Joel, Well, I
Speaker 1: don't want to embarrass them or two year old. So yes,
Speaker 1: we agree on that goal, but it's not what dictates
Speaker 1: all of our budget in all of our life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think, you know, the financial independence space is growing
Speaker 1: so much. It's such a popular thing to talk about,
Speaker 1: and it's such a noble goal. I think first we
Speaker 1: have to realize that we live in a time and
Speaker 1: a place, in an age where it's possible for some people,
Speaker 1: and that's kind of amazing and magnificent in this way
Speaker 1: that you know, for a lot of human history and
Speaker 1: for a lot of people right now, it's not possible.
Speaker 1: And so I think it takes a lot of humility
Speaker 1: and perspective just to understand the fact that it's kind
Speaker 1: of a modern convenience and possibility that financial independence at
Speaker 1: an early age and your you know, thirties or forties
Speaker 1: or fifties is is possible. That's kind of crazy and new,
Speaker 1: and so I think that that needs to be said.
Speaker 1: And so I think for us, you know, knowing that
Speaker 1: that's the case, but seeing that it is a possibility,
Speaker 1: I think it is you know, a worthwhile aim for
Speaker 1: us and for a lot of people. Really it's it's
Speaker 1: not terribly hard to seek under the constraints of a
Speaker 1: normal salary with you know, you know, one income or
Speaker 1: one and apart income. And I think that's amazing, Like,
Speaker 1: that's that's really really crazy and cool. But again I think,
Speaker 1: just like Emily said, like, if that's your your end goal,
Speaker 1: if that's the end all be all in my life
Speaker 1: will be fantastic. Once I am financially independent, once I
Speaker 1: am tired early at the age of forty two, or
Speaker 1: whatever it is, if that's your goal and your sole focus,
Speaker 1: once you hit that market forty two, you're gonna be
Speaker 1: pretty bummed out because it's not going to meet all
Speaker 1: your expectations. And so, you know, I think it is
Speaker 1: a worthy aspiration, but I think, just like we've been
Speaker 1: talking about, it is something that needs to be changed
Speaker 1: over time and discussed with your partner. And and if
Speaker 1: you need to delay financial independence because you've got a
Speaker 1: crazy doctor, Bill, or because you just have other decisions
Speaker 1: you need to make in your life that work best
Speaker 1: for your family, man, those are decisions that are important
Speaker 1: and you shouldn't, you know, sacrifice the well being of
Speaker 1: your family just for you know, reaching that financial independence
Speaker 1: number at an earlier time. For the record, I just
Speaker 1: want to say that Bill was two nineteen dollars to
Speaker 1: find out she was constipated. So do you guys have
Speaker 1: any other I guess some final thoughts before we wrap
Speaker 1: this up. My final thoughts would just be really a
Speaker 1: summary of what we've said in so many different ways.
Speaker 1: It is just to take the time to communicate, to
Speaker 1: communicate with yourself what you think about money, your expectations,
Speaker 1: your own goals, and then communicate with your partner as well,
Speaker 1: because the way you spend money is not just about
Speaker 1: the money. It's really indicative of a lot of things
Speaker 1: of the way you view the world, of way you
Speaker 1: view your time, of the way you view yourself. And
Speaker 1: so that just takes a little bit of extra communication
Speaker 1: and and that's that's just gonna take some time, and
Speaker 1: that's going to take some processing, and it's probably gonna
Speaker 1: be a little messy and maybe uncomfortable when you do
Speaker 1: with your partner or even friends, but it's worth the
Speaker 1: effort and just jump in. Yeah, I mean, I think
Speaker 1: that's great advice. I think to it, it's going to
Speaker 1: take humility on both sides of the coin. And so
Speaker 1: whether it's your previous money mistakes or something that your
Speaker 1: partner has done that you disagree with or you think
Speaker 1: was a terrible idea, and it affects both of you,
Speaker 1: it takes a lot of humility to enter into those
Speaker 1: conversations and to be gracious to the person that you
Speaker 1: love and care about. But you have to enter into
Speaker 1: those conversations about mone me with that perspective and remember
Speaker 1: that money issues, obviously, as Matt mentioned earlier, are one
Speaker 1: of the major reasons that lead to fights among couples,
Speaker 1: and the only way to kind of back that down
Speaker 1: is to remember that this is the person I love
Speaker 1: the most, and so the money problem that you're having
Speaker 1: right now, you can get through it. The person is
Speaker 1: more important than the problem that's right in front of
Speaker 1: your eyes. Guys, that's that's some awesome stuff. And I
Speaker 1: will say to listen back to episode twelve. Uh, that's
Speaker 1: the episode we talked about the why behind money and
Speaker 1: some of the stuff too. You may not even know
Speaker 1: yourself and so it's hard to talk about it with
Speaker 1: your spouse or a significant other when you're not totally
Speaker 1: sure why you are even doing this yourself, right, Like
Speaker 1: what are your goals yourself? You need to have thought
Speaker 1: about these things some when you come to that conversation
Speaker 1: so you can kind of be willing to share and
Speaker 1: to have these goals that you can both work towards.
Speaker 1: It takes a lot of self awareness to even have
Speaker 1: these discussions. So back to the beer. Yeah, so again
Speaker 1: tonight we drank bulletproof Denali from Southern Swells Brewing Company,
Speaker 1: a local brewery right down the street from where we're
Speaker 1: staying here in Jack's Beach. This is a New England
Speaker 1: style India, pale ale and absolutely delicious. We all finished
Speaker 1: them something quicker than others. And uh, I was very thirsty,
Speaker 1: I think is again I'm hydrated from the beach and beer.
Speaker 1: Kirsty hydration rights beer and coffee. That's what I heard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was delicious. Man, that was so good. And uh,
Speaker 1: this definitely makes me want to take our next beach
Speaker 1: vacation here in Jack's Beach again. When can you go
Speaker 1: to the beach and have legit fantastic beer. And I
Speaker 1: don't think it's just because we happen to stumble upon it,
Speaker 1: you know when we were going to the store and
Speaker 1: just we're like, oh, what's that, let's go check it out.
Speaker 1: I think I can honestly say that this is very
Speaker 1: good beer. This is very very good stuff. It totally is.
Speaker 1: I might have to go pick them up to take
Speaker 1: home with me. Yeah, ladies, thank you all so much
Speaker 1: for recording with us. This is totally awesome and a
Speaker 1: fun way to spend a night uh here at the beach, right,
Speaker 1: what do y'all think? Yes, it was great. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: was a lot of fun. And like I said, there's
Speaker 1: gonna be other topics you know, from kids to groceries
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, and we'll bring our wives back
Speaker 1: on for some of those conversations because it's been a
Speaker 1: lot of fun. Thanks so much for listening everyone, We
Speaker 1: really appreciate it. Our home on the web is how
Speaker 1: to money dot com. As always, we'll have some notes
Speaker 1: up there for this show, and don't forget to review
Speaker 1: our podcast on Apple Podcast that just helps other people
Speaker 1: find out about how to Money. We'd really appreciate it. Also,
Speaker 1: hit the subscribe button while you're there. Yeah, So until
Speaker 1: next time, Cheers, guys, Cheers, cheers. Best Friends Out, Best
Speaker 1: Friends Out.