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Speaker 1: Welcome to How to Money. I'm Joel and I'm Matt

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Speaker 1: and with me here is my wife Kate. And my

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Speaker 1: wife's here too, Emily, And today we're talking about couples

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Speaker 1: and money. That's right, Matt today on the podcast. I'm

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Speaker 1: so excited that our wives are here and that we're

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Speaker 1: gonna be able to talk about like our financial faux

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Speaker 1: pause and the things that we've done well together kind

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Speaker 1: of how we've built our finances as couples and hopefully

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Speaker 1: with our wives. Yeah, and hopefully have some takeaways for

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Speaker 1: the audience out there. And we actually have some audience

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Speaker 1: questions that we're gonna feature in this episode that we

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Speaker 1: got from our Facebook group, And if you are not

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Speaker 1: a member of the Facebook group yet, you really should

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Speaker 1: sign up. Yeah, man, And hopefully if this goes well too,

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Speaker 1: we'll do some more episodes like this, or like a

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Speaker 1: shorter version where we kind of answer some questions for

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Speaker 1: folks that right in. I think that'd be awesome. If

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Speaker 1: you've got some questions that you want answered on the show,

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Speaker 1: feel free to shoot an email to us all and

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Speaker 1: we should let people know obviously this is a special

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Speaker 1: episode because our wives are here, right baby, I'm here. Well,

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Speaker 1: we're also we're recording this at the beach on vacation

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Speaker 1: with our families, and so this is kind of a

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Speaker 1: fun treat to get to record an episode while we're

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Speaker 1: chilling together for a week. Yeah. Man, this is the

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Speaker 1: annual company retreat. Not quite a retreat, but we're all

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Speaker 1: together here in an Airbnb. And this isn't the first

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Speaker 1: time that we've shared an Airbnb as well, but I'll say, Kate,

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Speaker 1: this is maybe one of the smaller airbnbs that we've

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Speaker 1: been in. Yes, we have four kiddo's in one room,

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Speaker 1: two sets abug beds. So this might be a super

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Speaker 1: short podcast. We'll see how that goes. Yeah, let's hope

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Speaker 1: they stay asleep. Are you guys a fan of the

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Speaker 1: tomato motif that they have all over the house? Dude,

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Speaker 1: there's tomatoes everywhere. Thank you even describe it really, but

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Speaker 1: there's just lots more tomatoes than you would think they

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Speaker 1: could actually include in one space explosion most definitely a

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Speaker 1: tomato explosion. Oh man. And what's great about the house

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Speaker 1: I too, is it does have a pool. So we're

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Speaker 1: in We're at Jack's Beach down in Florida, and sweet

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Speaker 1: pool it's heated, and it's got a little cabana and

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Speaker 1: the name of the cabana is tomatoes spelled backwards, So

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Speaker 1: we're not joking. Literally, they're tomatoes all over the kitchen,

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Speaker 1: tomato plates and old tomato cans and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: And then they made the commando tomatoes spelled backwards that

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Speaker 1: the people obviously enjoy tomatoes here, right. I'm it's impressive.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like that's typical for like a

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Speaker 1: standard beach rental. You know what you find on Airbnb.

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Speaker 1: This isn't like the chic monotone. Tomatoes are all over.

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Speaker 1: It's not typical. No, there's so many tomatoes. There's a

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Speaker 1: tomato wreath. Yeah, literally, it's like a Christmas wreath. But

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Speaker 1: tomatoes red and green. Well, you can't discriminate, right, you

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Speaker 1: gotta have red and green tomatoes. I don't know, But

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Speaker 1: for real, though, this is one way we like to,

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Speaker 1: you know, hang out together as friends and save money

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Speaker 1: at the same time. We were going together get a

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Speaker 1: beach house together. We save a ton of money. We

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Speaker 1: pool our resources, and I mean Kate does a ton

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Speaker 1: of the cooking, which is awesome. You guys enjoyed some

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Speaker 1: of the meals so far. Yeah, I would say Kate's

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Speaker 1: cookie might be the highlight of our trip next to

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Speaker 1: the beach. Yeah, it's great. Um. And the crazy thing

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Speaker 1: is we have five girls total and then there's four

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Speaker 1: of us. Are nine people in this house to three bedroom,

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Speaker 1: one bath house. There is a small bathroom on the

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Speaker 1: back side of the pool, like that's made of concrete

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Speaker 1: and doesn't feel like a real bathroom. Um, but so

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Speaker 1: it's kind of fun and camp be a little bit,

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Speaker 1: but we were saving money having fun. Definitely can't be Ye,

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Speaker 1: there's a drain in a bathroom and so the bathroom

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Speaker 1: is a shower and so I don't exactly know how

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Speaker 1: that works, but I think it does. Living that hashtag

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Speaker 1: PNP life dog. Yeah. And something else man that we

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Speaker 1: just scovered, uh totally randomly was the Southern Swells Brewing

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Speaker 1: which is an amazing local craft brewery that has been

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Speaker 1: open for about a year. Uh. Yeah, Joel and I

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Speaker 1: were driving up to Publics to grab a few things

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Speaker 1: that we forgot and totally stopped in. They were making

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Speaker 1: some awesome beers. We got a flight which was very delicious,

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Speaker 1: and we liked it so much that we we got

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Speaker 1: some beers and brought them home. Yeah, I gotta feature

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Speaker 1: some of these one of these Southern swell beers on

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Speaker 1: the podcast after hitting up their tasting room. Um, and yeah,

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Speaker 1: we hit up the Breweryfortunately the girls were mostly asleep

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Speaker 1: or the wives might have been more upset. Maybe it

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Speaker 1: was fortunate it was during naptime. But you know, we

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Speaker 1: brought beer back, so I think all as well. So

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Speaker 1: on that note, we should crack it. Yeah. So we

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Speaker 1: got these sixteen ounce four packs, which means we each

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Speaker 1: get a pint. Oh man, Okay, So if you have

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Speaker 1: a vacation rental or an airbnb, just make sure you

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Speaker 1: have at least pint glasses or I mean, ideally you'd

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Speaker 1: have a tulip glass as well. But man, if you

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Speaker 1: had a pint, just some basic pint glasses, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to knocker our house here, but man, it would

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Speaker 1: be great if the cups weren't just red plastic, proper glass.

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Speaker 1: War would be a major plus. And so next time

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Speaker 1: I'm putting that on our packing list, we're bringing our

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Speaker 1: own toolip glasses. That's pretty nerdy, I know, alright, Matt,

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Speaker 1: So this is pouring like a hazy orange grating up

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Speaker 1: into like a yellow at the top, beautiful, beautiful color. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'll go ahead and state that this is it's an

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Speaker 1: I p A. But this is a New England style

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Speaker 1: I PA. So it's got that quintessential sort of hazy, juicy,

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Speaker 1: kind of orange juice looking look to it. So let's

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Speaker 1: get the flavor reviews first from our wives. Okay, I'll

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Speaker 1: go first. So I don't always love these hazy I

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Speaker 1: p a s, but I really do love this one

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Speaker 1: because I feel like it has more of a pine

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Speaker 1: edge to it, and I'm more about the pine like

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Speaker 1: West Coast I p a s, and this is a

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Speaker 1: little more along that line where some of them, I

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Speaker 1: feel like you're a little too Ora Geane, a little

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Speaker 1: too sweet, a little too thick. This is not this

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Speaker 1: is great. I love this. Yeah, I love it. I

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Speaker 1: think it's great. I love hazy I p A. Actually,

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Speaker 1: I pas are probably my favorite category of beer. It's

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Speaker 1: nice and juicy, it's perfect to drink on the beach. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And Emily actually actually introduced me in I PA because

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Speaker 1: when I first met her, I was slumming it with

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Speaker 1: the brown ales and the stouts, and I feel like

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Speaker 1: she kind of introduced me to some of the more

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Speaker 1: bitter beers, and so thanks, thanks, baby, You're welcome. Is

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Speaker 1: that kind of how it starts with like the brown

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Speaker 1: nails and the stouts, like when you're in college. I

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Speaker 1: feel like I think it starts with a Miller LIGHTE

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Speaker 1: and light as far as getting into the craft beers,

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Speaker 1: maybe even a smart off ice. You just got ice

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Speaker 1: that has like no element of class to it. I think,

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Speaker 1: do you remember turbot Dog? I bet you drink turbo

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Speaker 1: dog Emily in Abida? No? Yes, did you really? Dude?

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Speaker 1: I drink turbo dog all the time when I was

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Speaker 1: living up in North Carolina. That brown ale legit. I

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Speaker 1: would have that. That's when I learned how to drink

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Speaker 1: beer in the shower, because that was the thing. So

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Speaker 1: I was like, you can you need to have a

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Speaker 1: cold beer in the shower. It's like it's called a

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Speaker 1: shower beer and you'll love it. And I did, what

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Speaker 1: else would you call a beer in the shower? Shower

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Speaker 1: beer sounds appropriate? Did you have a better name for it?

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Speaker 1: Good morning? Oh? No, I shower a night, so it's

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Speaker 1: a it's appropriate. Oh that's true. Yeah, I guess it's

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Speaker 1: good for you. That's why you shower at night so

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Speaker 1: you can have a beer. I mean, I don't have

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Speaker 1: beer in the shower like every single night, but every

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Speaker 1: now and then it's a it's a nice thing like

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Speaker 1: wine in the bathtub. Makes sense, it's my version of

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Speaker 1: wine in the bathtub. Are there candles and bubbles? No,

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Speaker 1: there is a lutha. So I think we need to

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Speaker 1: take the whole family to that tasting room because you

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Speaker 1: and I had some one by there twice now without

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Speaker 1: the family, while we've been hashtag dead beet dads. I mean,

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Speaker 1: we gotta we gotta pick up stuff at public How

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Speaker 1: many times have we been up? Oh, we should go

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Speaker 1: to that brewery. Maybe tomorrow and the next day. No,

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Speaker 1: for real, though, I think we're gonna take the whole

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Speaker 1: family because they've got a great tasting room. They've got

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Speaker 1: like that washer toss game. I saw. All I know

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Speaker 1: is I saw other kids running around there, and I

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Speaker 1: think it'll be a blast. Yeah, no, Dad left behind.

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Speaker 1: You can't leave us. We gotta be there. But seriously,

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Speaker 1: if you're in jack speech, totally check out Southern Swells,

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Speaker 1: great tasting room area and the beers like they've got

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Speaker 1: me a ton of New England style, I geays and

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Speaker 1: then some great sours and other stuff too that their

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Speaker 1: beers were phenomenal. Let's get in the subject in hand.

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Speaker 1: I think people want to hear what our wives think

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Speaker 1: about our oddities with money and uh, like I said,

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Speaker 1: we had some questions from the Facebook group. The first

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Speaker 1: one was about beer, so let's stick to the beer

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Speaker 1: theme for one second till we actually get into the money.

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Speaker 1: Why not? But Rob said, ladies, what are your favorite

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Speaker 1: beer styles and what styles do you detest? And you

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Speaker 1: want to take this one first? So typically, like I said,

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Speaker 1: I pads are one of my favorite, but currently the summertime,

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Speaker 1: I'm really into the Creature Comforence parody. So they're cherry sour,

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Speaker 1: so good. I love drinking one of those at the

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Speaker 1: porch on the porch at night after the kids are down.

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Speaker 1: It's perfect beer. I don't like is the Gooza, Goose Goose?

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Speaker 1: What is it the Goza or the Goose? Which one

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Speaker 1: that's really really funky? That's it. Yeah, I'm not into

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Speaker 1: the Goose. I just can't get on board with that funk,

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Speaker 1: which is sad because that's like one of my all

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Speaker 1: time favorite styles. That's the like super funky it takes

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Speaker 1: years to make Belgian style beer that spontaneously ferments, and

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Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan. But you know what, we still

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Speaker 1: be married, We still get along even though you don't

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Speaker 1: like the Goose. So as I mentioned before, West Coastyle,

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Speaker 1: I pas are rejum for sure. Least favorite detests is

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Speaker 1: a strong word, but least favorite beers are probably Belgian

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Speaker 1: beers in general. I just I can't get behind triples.

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Speaker 1: I really can't. It's just not my thing at all.

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Speaker 1: And I would have said I don't like any Belgian

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Speaker 1: beers at all, except that you recently had Oha Gosh

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Speaker 1: Curio at home and actually thought that was pretty great.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it was like a nostalgia thing because it's one

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Speaker 1: of the first bigger, more craft beers that I have

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Speaker 1: ever had, But it was pretty great. So maybe I

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Speaker 1: don't have a beer that I did test just a country,

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Speaker 1: just Belgium. Guys, don't ever go there. The beers are terrible.

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Speaker 1: And if you listen to this podcast, I'm pretty sure

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Speaker 1: you know what beer is Jewel and I like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's just move on. If you don't, there's twenty one

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Speaker 1: previous episodes and you can check those out. We've been

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Speaker 1: drinking a lot of good stuff. All right, So first question,

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Speaker 1: and we can alternate who starts first, but uh, I'll

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Speaker 1: ask him this one first. So, M, when did you

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Speaker 1: first realize that my relationship to money is just a

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Speaker 1: little bit different than the way most people relate to money. Well,

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Speaker 1: I think I kind of knew it right off the bat,

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Speaker 1: because you worked for Clark Howard and worked in the

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Speaker 1: financial realm, and you know, you just were always talking

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Speaker 1: about money, so I knew it was important. But then

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Speaker 1: as I started to meet your friends and family and

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Speaker 1: they would share some interesting stories about you, I kind

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Speaker 1: of got a better picture of Oh, please do tell

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Speaker 1: I need to hear these of how you thought about money,

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Speaker 1: and I just my favorite one was the one I

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Speaker 1: think you were in college, maybe even high school, and

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Speaker 1: you had invited maybe four or five friends over to

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Speaker 1: grill hamburgers. I will never live this one down, and

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Speaker 1: you should not ever. So as you had grilled hamburgers,

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Speaker 1: everybody had eating their food, just relaxing, sitting around, and

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Speaker 1: you're like, Okay, that'll be a few dollars for the

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Speaker 1: coal that we used. You charmed all of your friends charcoal, Yes,

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Speaker 1: charged all of your friends. The charcoal you had used

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Speaker 1: to grilled their burgers after they had eaten Kingsford Scrooge

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Speaker 1: over here. Man. No one knew it was coming before

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Speaker 1: you had invited them, So I just I thought, uh,

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Speaker 1: there's some interesting thoughts he's got about money. True story.

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Speaker 1: I'm ashamed of it now, I will admit, and I

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Speaker 1: think I've grown a little bit since those days, hopefully so.

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Speaker 1: But yes, Okay, that's a good that's a good place

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Speaker 1: to start. I like that. It's kay. How about you?

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Speaker 1: Were there any red flags that popped up early on

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Speaker 1: when we first uh I started dating, were engaged? Let's

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Speaker 1: hear it. Well, we're going to back up before dating

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Speaker 1: or engaged to the first time I met Matt. He

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Speaker 1: was wearing shoes that had previously been thrown away by

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Speaker 1: his dad. There are old gray new balances that Matt

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Speaker 1: had repurposed into sandals by cutting off the backs, and

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Speaker 1: does no the toes still existed. The toes were partially there,

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Speaker 1: so they had blown out, and you were like, who's

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Speaker 1: that hottie in the funky new sandals? Right? I mean?

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Speaker 1: I was like, how can how is no one saying

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Speaker 1: anything about this? What is his deal? And so I

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Speaker 1: found out right away that like he just needed some

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Speaker 1: shoes one day and just wanted them to be sandals.

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Speaker 1: But that's all he had at the moment, so he

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Speaker 1: just like made it happen. I will say I'm pretty

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Speaker 1: sure I was ahead of my time because I think

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Speaker 1: a couple of years after that, I saw some sneakers

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Speaker 1: that literally were created that way, that were manufactured without

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Speaker 1: the backs all the way down to the soul, and they,

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Speaker 1: you know, they look like the broken stock clogg sort of,

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Speaker 1: but they were tennis shoes. That was me. That was

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Speaker 1: my idea, You're welcome new balance. That's definitely true. It

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Speaker 1: became a thing after that, and it was clear that like,

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Speaker 1: he didn't choose to make these sandals because he couldn't

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Speaker 1: afford sandals. It was more because it was the principle here,

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Speaker 1: and these shoes were perfectly good and he was just

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Speaker 1: gonna wear them. I'm all about that principle. I respected

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Speaker 1: that even though it was just really bizarre. Did they

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Speaker 1: smell weird? I never got so close. This also might

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Speaker 1: explain my cut off shorts that I tend to. Dude,

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Speaker 1: We're in Florida and I did not bring my georts

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Speaker 1: missed opportunity wondering what they were. I do have my

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Speaker 1: other cut off shorts, but I mean, when you're done

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Speaker 1: with pants, repurpose them, right, That's just part of That's

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Speaker 1: one of the tenants recycle reusers. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: is it? Reduced users? Yes, that that I mean hopefully

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Speaker 1: you kind of you know, grown to love that and

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Speaker 1: who I am? Any other any other things you want

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Speaker 1: to share so many but I feel like we should

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Speaker 1: move on. Okay, okay, one more so. The first time Matt,

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Speaker 1: Matt used to take me in his car to church

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Speaker 1: on Sundays, and when we got in his jeep, I

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Speaker 1: realized there was like this live wire and this toggle

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Speaker 1: switch between the driver's seat and the passenger's seat. And

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Speaker 1: I reached for it and said, what does this do?

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Speaker 1: And men that don't touch it? It's live, that's the

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Speaker 1: shock wire. Don't touch that. Turns out the radiator fan

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Speaker 1: was now working in his jeep, so instead of getting

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Speaker 1: it fixed at the dealership or at any other place,

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Speaker 1: he rigged it himself to a little toggle switch between

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Speaker 1: the seats and he would turn it on himself to

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Speaker 1: cool down the engine when it needed it. It's just

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Speaker 1: one of many they're just so many. I don't even

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Speaker 1: know where to go with it. That's right, I mean,

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Speaker 1: you don't need the fan to run all the time,

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Speaker 1: just when the temperature starts creeping up towards the pink

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Speaker 1: the orange. I think we could just change the name

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Speaker 1: of this episode to Kate's List and just just run

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Speaker 1: through it real quick. You want to do that? Uh,

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Speaker 1: now we'll move on. You got Emily's. You have a

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Speaker 1: one more thing that you want to share about Joel?

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Speaker 1: Anything weird. We've had a recent adventure in car wrapping.

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Speaker 1: Those of you who may not know, like I did

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Speaker 1: not know, you can actually take your car to go

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Speaker 1: get wrapped in an advertisement and then you get paid

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Speaker 1: for however many miles you put on your car. So

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Speaker 1: Joel had been talking about this for a while and

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Speaker 1: he decided to go with it, and we got our

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Speaker 1: car wrapped, a little Nissan leaf wrapped in a big,

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Speaker 1: huge advertisement for Salesforce. And it's like, shout out Salesforce.

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Speaker 1: You don't get paid for that, there's no bonus there.

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Speaker 1: And so I see him pull up and you know,

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Speaker 1: are black, small, tiny and conspicuous car is now blue

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Speaker 1: with this giant bear on the back. And some fluffy

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Speaker 1: clouds that on the side. Big advertisement. Dude, it's cute.

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Speaker 1: Though I saw it. I was like, when I saw it,

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Speaker 1: I was just like, that's actually not that bad. It

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Speaker 1: looked prety cute. If you're going to be a mobile advertisement,

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Speaker 1: it's not bad. It's it's somewhat classy. It could be

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Speaker 1: a lot worse. Uh, it could be a lot worse.

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Speaker 1: But you're just probably used to me, my hair brained

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Speaker 1: ideas to make a little bit of extra money or

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Speaker 1: save a little bit extra money, like those come along.

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Speaker 1: How often would you say, oh, I mean daily, I

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Speaker 1: mean I really can't even keep counting. I should keep

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Speaker 1: a little notebook. But it was kind of like, okay, well,

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Speaker 1: we'll give this experiment a try for these two months

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Speaker 1: and see how it goes, and we'll report back on

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Speaker 1: that the other way. So okay, I will say it's

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Speaker 1: garnished a lot of attention. Kids like it. The girls

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Speaker 1: like it. They think it's cute because there's these little

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Speaker 1: stuffed animal looking things on the very back of the car,

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Speaker 1: and they're like, Daddy, your car is like blue now

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Speaker 1: and it's got these little animals, and so they kind

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Speaker 1: of dig it um. But if they were a little

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Speaker 1: bit older, they might be completely embarrassed. Our neighbors are

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Speaker 1: just mostly confused, So we've had playing a few times

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Speaker 1: what's going on. But they're down with it, so that's good.

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Speaker 1: They also know how weird I am. I think, so

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Speaker 1: it flies. Then the next question is from Chelsea, and

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Speaker 1: this is also posted on our Facebook group, and so

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Speaker 1: she asked, do you have any advice for newlyweds in

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Speaker 1: handling finances together? I'm go ahead to mention this as well.

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Speaker 1: I mean, this is a big reason why we we're

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Speaker 1: having our wives on to to talk with us as well,

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Speaker 1: is because talking through finances with your spouse or with

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Speaker 1: a significant other, it's just kind of tricky sometimes, and

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Speaker 1: you know, we don't have it all figured out. But

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Speaker 1: I think it's definitely helpful for folks to hear from

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Speaker 1: our wives kind of how we talk about things, and

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Speaker 1: at least there will be some insights that you folks

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Speaker 1: can kind of maybe garner from these conversations. But yeah, Kate,

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Speaker 1: so do you have any advice maybe for newlyweds who

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Speaker 1: are talking about their finances together for the first time together.

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Speaker 1: I think if you have just gotten married or you're

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Speaker 1: just dating. I think it's good to take that time

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Speaker 1: to do the hard work in the beginning, like go

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Speaker 1: ahead and hash out where you've been financially, how you're

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Speaker 1: raised financially, what that makes you think when it comes

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Speaker 1: to spending your money, how you spend your money and why.

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Speaker 1: And I just think like talking through you can't talk

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Speaker 1: about it enough, really, like you've got to really get

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Speaker 1: everything on the table so that when it comes time

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Speaker 1: to make a budget, you know where the other person

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Speaker 1: is coming from and you can be sensitive and kind

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Speaker 1: when it comes to setting amounts for certain things or

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Speaker 1: making goals or coming together on a certain vision. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I totally agree with Kate. I think self awareness is

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Speaker 1: a big part of talking about money because really money

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Speaker 1: represents a lot of things, security, or the way you

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Speaker 1: were raised. Like, money is not just about numbers, obviously,

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Speaker 1: it's it comes with a lot of attachments. So you

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Speaker 1: need to be aware of kind of how you view

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Speaker 1: money and what's important to you, and then just communicate, communicate, communicate.

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Speaker 1: I mean I feel like we had to talk about

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Speaker 1: things and then go back and think about what the

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Speaker 1: other person said and then come back and talk about

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Speaker 1: them again. And I think a perfect example of that

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Speaker 1: when we were newly married is that I had wanted

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Speaker 1: a new pair of running shoes and because mine were

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Speaker 1: completely worn out and like my great new balances. Only

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Speaker 1: if only I had known that were available, maybe it

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Speaker 1: would have taken those um but I had wanted a

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Speaker 1: new pair of shoes and I was going to the

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Speaker 1: store to buy them, and you kind of jumped on

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Speaker 1: me and was like, you know, you need a research

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Speaker 1: and find a good deal. You can't just go out

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Speaker 1: and buy the shoes. And that hurt my feelings because

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, I need this. I'm not just

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Speaker 1: being frivolous. What about you know these new geans that

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Speaker 1: you just bought in the speer that you just bought

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Speaker 1: and two Joel, what it was important when you were

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Speaker 1: shopping is that you got a discount. And to me,

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Speaker 1: I was just thoughtful about my purchases. So it wasn't

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Speaker 1: as personal as it felt in the moment. It's not

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Speaker 1: really as personal. You know, we're on the same team

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Speaker 1: and that's important to remember. We just had to talk through,

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Speaker 1: well what did the shoes represent to me and what

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Speaker 1: did it represent to you? And so yeah, I just

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Speaker 1: totally agree with Kate said, be self aware and communicate

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Speaker 1: continually about what the money is actually attached to, because

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Speaker 1: that's really where the fights go. That's awesome. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think that. Uh, Like for me, when I was like

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Speaker 1: super young and we weren't married, it was easy to

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Speaker 1: not have a budget and to just kind of be

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Speaker 1: frugal and and know that, you know, most of my

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Speaker 1: money was going into savings and planning for future events.

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Speaker 1: So then when we got married, I wasn't keeping a

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Speaker 1: very good budget because I was only buying things really

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Speaker 1: that were meaningful to me. And then so when we

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Speaker 1: got married, it was your completely taking into account someone else.

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Speaker 1: And that takes a lot of talking, and that takes

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Speaker 1: a lot of intentionality, and it also I think for

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Speaker 1: us took a lot of actually putting numbers down on

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Speaker 1: paper because we were talking past each other. Or I

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Speaker 1: think the fact that we didn't have a good budget

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Speaker 1: to go off of that that really hurt us for

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Speaker 1: the first year of marriage because we couldn't point to

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Speaker 1: specific things. It was it was more theory. It was

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Speaker 1: more you know, oh, this happened yesterday or last week,

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Speaker 1: but we didn't actually you know, have numbers to go on.

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Speaker 1: That kind of solidified where we were putting our funds,

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Speaker 1: and so yeah, I think for us it really helped

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Speaker 1: to communicate about money when we actually saw things on paper. Hey,

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Speaker 1: you're spending this much on this, and that's important to you.

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Speaker 1: And you know what, we each have our own separate

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Speaker 1: amounts that we can spend each month now, and that

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Speaker 1: just gives a lot of freedom as opposed to, you know,

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Speaker 1: questioning every purchase that each other makes. Now we have

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Speaker 1: a fund or a certain amount allotted right that it

426
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 1: doesn't matter how you spend that. And if you need

427
00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:42,679
Speaker 1: help finding a deal or whatever, I'm happy to help you.

428
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,919
Speaker 1: But if you just want to go out and do

429
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:48,160
Speaker 1: your thing, that's great. And I buy an eighteen dollar

430
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,719
Speaker 1: bottle of beer or something, and you're probably think that's crazy,

431
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,720
Speaker 1: but it's part of my budget, so it works. I

432
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,720
Speaker 1: just like to mention that Emily shook her head, yes

433
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 1: when you said by an eighteen dollar Bolli beer and

434
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:02,200
Speaker 1: you think that's crazy. So I was just gonna say,

435
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,439
Speaker 1: just don't date anyone with us credit score less than

436
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,880
Speaker 1: like seven. I mean, that would just be an easier

437
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 1: way to do it, right. There's no doubt that I

438
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 1: had a credit score less than that when we started

439
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 1: dating actually would be reasonable advice to think. I mean, no,

440
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 1: I agree with y'all. I think what y'all said is great.

441
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 1: Can you touch on this as well? You mentioned goals.

442
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,639
Speaker 1: I think that's so huge, right, and so Joel. I mean,

443
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 1: we've we've done an episode recently about the why behind money.

444
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,720
Speaker 1: I think when you identify what it is that you're

445
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 1: working towards, you've you've created a goal essentially, right, And

446
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 1: then when you when you have a spouse or a

447
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 1: significant other and you're working towards that goal. And so

448
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,280
Speaker 1: I mean, so if you've achieved that goal together, then

449
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,760
Speaker 1: your team you're working together, and you can achieve so

450
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 1: much more when you're both on the same page. You're

451
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:47,920
Speaker 1: both going after something, and that changes everything. I totally

452
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 1: agree with Matt. And to flip the inverse of that

453
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 1: is to say, you know you're not when you disagree,

454
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 1: you're not working against each other. It's not personal these disagreements.

455
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,640
Speaker 1: That's why it's so important to communicate because I think

456
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,199
Speaker 1: sometimes if Joelda don't want to spend money on me,

457
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 1: or spend money the way I want to spend it,

458
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,919
Speaker 1: it can feel personal. But it's not. We're on the

459
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,400
Speaker 1: same team. You know, we're not only working towards these

460
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,119
Speaker 1: goals together. If there's a disagreement, we're still on the

461
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,560
Speaker 1: same team. And so it's so important to communicate because

462
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:18,120
Speaker 1: it's it's not personal necessarily. Yeah, Joel just doesn't hate

463
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 1: your tennis shoes, right right. He doesn't want me to

464
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 1: not run. He just wanted me to get a deal.

465
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 1: And I will say to the conclusion of that story

466
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:29,160
Speaker 1: was that I said, Okay, that's fine, you have two

467
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 1: days to find me a pair of tennis shoes at

468
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 1: a discount, and if you can't, then I'm going to

469
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 1: buy the shoes that I want. And he came through,

470
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,440
Speaker 1: and in two days he found me the exact pair

471
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:39,119
Speaker 1: of tennis shoes that I wanted specifically with like a

472
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 1: twenty five dollar off keupon So I was really impressed.

473
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 1: I mean, that's kind of my gift. I'm not gonna

474
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:49,360
Speaker 1: lie keeper, which I think I mentioned at one point

475
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:51,760
Speaker 1: in the previous episode. The most difficult thing I had

476
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:53,920
Speaker 1: to deal with money wise was I loved finding a deal,

477
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:55,680
Speaker 1: and so sometimes I would buy things that I didn't

478
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 1: need just because they were a deal. And that's a

479
00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:59,399
Speaker 1: terrible way to live as well. And so I've really

480
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,679
Speaker 1: cut down on a lot and just kind of avoiding

481
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:06,119
Speaker 1: purchasing and and also sometimes spending more on things that

482
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:07,919
Speaker 1: I think will ask me a lot longer. But that

483
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:09,359
Speaker 1: is my gift. If you need a deal, if you

484
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,480
Speaker 1: need a coupon code, if you need to find something cheaper,

485
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 1: let me know. I'll hunt it down for you. Man,

486
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,680
Speaker 1: it is a gift. You're like all about the chase, right,

487
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 1: like the you like the thrill of the hunt, like

488
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,000
Speaker 1: a cheetah in that way. What do I do when

489
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,880
Speaker 1: I get it? I don't know, it goes in the closet.

490
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 1: I know we've passed it or a syncrasies question, but

491
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 1: this does remind me at the time you ordered like

492
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,640
Speaker 1: ten boxes of cheese it's on the internet because they

493
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 1: were on sale. They were delivered to the front door

494
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 1: and I opened it up and was like, what is

495
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:39,879
Speaker 1: this and where do I keep these cheese its? You

496
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 1: don't even have kids then, right, no, no, but two

497
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:48,720
Speaker 1: adults gonna eat tin boxes and cheese. I love cheesus

498
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 1: the perfect snack with craft. So piggybacking sort of off

499
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 1: that question, then do you feel like our conversations about

500
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:59,520
Speaker 1: money have progressed over the years. Yes, definitely. I feel

501
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 1: like they are more factual now, less emotional honestly, because

502
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 1: we've dealt with a lot of the baggage that we

503
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 1: have regarding money, and so I feel like when we

504
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 1: talk about it now we know, like and we were saying, like,

505
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,119
Speaker 1: we're on the same team no matter what, so we

506
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:21,680
Speaker 1: don't really need to feel as personally offended if if

507
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 1: we disagree. So yeah, I feel like they've gotten the

508
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:29,639
Speaker 1: conversations have gotten less emotional and shorter because it's just like, oh, wait,

509
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:34,360
Speaker 1: the grocery budget isn't working out because there's so many diapers,

510
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 1: so we need to up by twenty bucks a month. Okay,

511
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:41,440
Speaker 1: cool done. Yeah, I completely agree. I feel like our

512
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:45,359
Speaker 1: conversations have become a little more automated because, like you said,

513
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,159
Speaker 1: we know that we are on the same team, and

514
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 1: then if something if there is something that kind of

515
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 1: pops up, it's sort of automatic. We just know that like, okay,

516
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 1: this this sort of needs to be done now. There

517
00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 1: isn't a huge conversation that needs to take place, and

518
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:58,640
Speaker 1: we just kind of make a quick decision and then

519
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:02,679
Speaker 1: move on. Yes, and that comes from shared goals that

520
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:06,719
Speaker 1: we've hashed out over hours and hours and have agreed on.

521
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,439
Speaker 1: And so those goals are stated now and we can

522
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,880
Speaker 1: kind of look back at them and kind of assess

523
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 1: what changes we want to make how it lines up

524
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:17,880
Speaker 1: with those goals, and we can do that pretty analytically

525
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 1: at this point. So that's actually a lot easier. It's

526
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 1: a lot less like philosophical and broad than it was

527
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:27,359
Speaker 1: in the beginning, where we really had to have conversations

528
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 1: about how we feel about certain things, and those conversations

529
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:33,120
Speaker 1: were super important, and I'm glad that we spent so

530
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 1: much time having those conversations, But now it doesn't really

531
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,680
Speaker 1: look like that for the most part. I will say

532
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,880
Speaker 1: that the hours and hours thing is like really important,

533
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 1: right If you want to be really good at something,

534
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 1: it takes a lot of time, and so those conversations,

535
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,880
Speaker 1: having them over time, like the first year, you probably

536
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 1: won't be very good at them, um, but hopefully you

537
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:55,160
Speaker 1: can learn quickly and gather wisdom from other other places.

538
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,159
Speaker 1: But the more you talk, the more you keep the

539
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 1: lines of communication open, the more you you're probably gonna

540
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,439
Speaker 1: out down here and there, But the more you can

541
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 1: reopen them quickly and start talking about those things again.

542
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 1: You know, the more likely you are to get on

543
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,679
Speaker 1: the same page more quickly, and so uh spending time

544
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 1: doing the hard work talking about those things. Sitting down

545
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,639
Speaker 1: with a good beer and chatting about money and where

546
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 1: what your goals are right like that? Those are those

547
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:22,800
Speaker 1: are huge things in the process of becoming better at

548
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:25,359
Speaker 1: communicating as a couple about money. Yeah, I think maybe

549
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 1: a cup of coffee rather than that beer. It's probably

550
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 1: my we could do pour over not poor. And one

551
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 1: final thing I want to say to newlyweds. I think

552
00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:41,159
Speaker 1: it's a big question of whether you have everything in

553
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 1: the same account or separate accounts, and kind of how

554
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,119
Speaker 1: you handle those things. And I think part of that

555
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 1: depends on the couple in particular. If you're older getting married,

556
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 1: usually like let's say you're in your late twenties, thirties, uh, forties, whatever,

557
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,959
Speaker 1: and you've been living on your own for quite some

558
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 1: time and used to spending money in your own way

559
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 1: and handling your own finances, I think it's okay to

560
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:04,199
Speaker 1: keep your accounts separate, but I think ultimately it is

561
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,080
Speaker 1: a good goal to strive for in marriage to have

562
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 1: your accounts together. I know, it just can be harder

563
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 1: to to marry those accounts. Like the older that you get,

564
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 1: you know, the more time you've had living on your

565
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:17,879
Speaker 1: own under your own uh financial rules and regulations. But

566
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:20,960
Speaker 1: that's definitely a conversation that you should have talk about

567
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 1: the pros and cons of combining into one account or

568
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 1: keeping your finances separate. But really, when you're entering into

569
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 1: a marriage, you're combining so many things. You're creating a

570
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,640
Speaker 1: new family, and so I think ultimately the best thing

571
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 1: to do is to work towards having a one account

572
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 1: and everything flowing together. But certainly that comes down to

573
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 1: a personal decision. That's what we have both chosen to

574
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 1: do as couples. But you know, definitely think through it.

575
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 1: That's an important decision that needs to be made as

576
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 1: newlyweds okay a newly wed or otherwise. Like, you can

577
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 1: make this decision at any point in your relationship. You

578
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 1: don't have to be newlywed or dating or even recently married. Like,

579
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 1: if you've decided that this is the direction we're going

580
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 1: to go together, you start whenever you start, and you

581
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 1: just pick up. You start having hard conversations. It doesn't

582
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 1: matter if you're ten years in, you just decide together

583
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 1: that you're going to do it, and then you just

584
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 1: go for it. You just dive right in, have those

585
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 1: conversations and start figuring some things out. You don't have

586
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 1: to be newly with. I know this was a newly

587
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 1: wedd advice question, but I really think you can start

588
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 1: this at any point and and it can so be beneficial. Yeah,

589
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 1: and I totally agree with Kate and to kind of

590
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,720
Speaker 1: tie together what Kate Angel are saying. I think the

591
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 1: reason we think it's important is because trust is really

592
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 1: important when it comes to combining money. You're living your

593
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 1: life so closely with your partner, whether you have separate

594
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:40,920
Speaker 1: accounts or not, you have to trust your teammate, and

595
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 1: so you need to start asking those questions, as is

596
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 1: Kate saying. At any point you can do that, but

597
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:50,280
Speaker 1: trust is pretty fundamental to combining your finances and communicating

598
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 1: about it and self awareness. These are all really important

599
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 1: factors for anyone in any relationship dealing with their income together.

600
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,200
Speaker 1: Nice man, that's so true. I love that, all right.

601
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 1: Next question comes from Katie also on our Facebook page.

602
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 1: She wants to know what's been our biggest financial disagreement.

603
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:12,520
Speaker 1: M this is kind of a tough one, I would

604
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 1: say so again being newly married. I don't think we

605
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 1: had huge blow ups over money, but we had a

606
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 1: lot of small, little TIFFs where we had to continue

607
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 1: to communicate and work things out. So that kind of

608
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,239
Speaker 1: comes to mind. But the biggest disagreement that I can

609
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 1: think of recently is probably over whether or not we

610
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:39,960
Speaker 1: should buy Atlanta United season tickets. All snap we are

611
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 1: and so many of our friends had tickets, and we

612
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 1: went back and forth and back and forth, and Joel

613
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 1: really wanted him, and I just did not feel like

614
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 1: it was a wise decision for where we were at

615
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 1: the time to spend money on that. Plus I just

616
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 1: don't know that much about soccer. I'm really getting into it,

617
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 1: and I love Atlanta United. It just was not my

618
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 1: passion like it was Joels necessarily, So it just took

619
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 1: a lot of conversations. I wouldn't say it was a

620
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 1: huge fight or this huge disagreement. We just probably talked

621
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:10,240
Speaker 1: about it every three days for a few weeks as

622
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:11,560
Speaker 1: to whether or not we should do it, and we

623
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 1: just finally decided no. If we weren't both on board,

624
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 1: It was not a great decision. Yea. I mean I

625
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 1: think it was good for us too. It's good for

626
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,800
Speaker 1: us to you know, talk through something like that for

627
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 1: a long time and come to a conclusion that, you know,

628
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 1: it works for both of us because we're both in it.

629
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 1: That's a big purchase and uh, I certainly don't have

630
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 1: enough in my line item of the budget to justify that,

631
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 1: and so it would have been something both of us

632
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 1: would have had to really take on and consider. And

633
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 1: so we came to the right conclusion for us. And

634
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 1: so I think we ended up with some of my

635
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 1: like birthday money or something. I bought a four pack

636
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 1: of cheap seats and so that was kind of like

637
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,239
Speaker 1: the middle ground for us. And you know, I got

638
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 1: to go to a few games this year, and um,

639
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 1: it's been a lot of fun, and you know, not

640
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 1: having season tickets, really it hasn't been that big of

641
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:04,160
Speaker 1: a deal. Kind of you might cry a little bit

642
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:07,400
Speaker 1: on game date. I mean seriously, though, that's a conversation

643
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 1: we had to have. We also talked about it every

644
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 1: three days for three weeks. Yeah, that's right. But I

645
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 1: mean ultimately we spent a lot of time talking about it,

646
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 1: and we identified that this was something that we both

647
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 1: wanted to do right. It's something that we were both behind.

648
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 1: It was just more of a matter of how much

649
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 1: we're willing to spend right, and so we were both

650
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 1: wanted to do it, and it was just like, well,

651
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 1: we're gonna spend this much, We're gonna spend double this

652
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 1: for better seats, and for us that was a tougher

653
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 1: conversation because it kind of came down to the numbers.

654
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 1: I think our biggest financial disagreement recently. I feel like

655
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 1: this is what Emily was saying to It's not necessarily

656
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 1: that we had this big disagreement, just that it was

657
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 1: more of something we had to talk about a lot

658
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 1: longer then maybe it seems like we should have talked

659
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:52,680
Speaker 1: about it, but we've talked for a long time about

660
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:56,479
Speaker 1: having Airbnb and our basement we're thinking about adding an

661
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 1: apartment to our basement is no longer apartment that Matt

662
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 1: is going to egg out by hand, thankfully. I don't

663
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 1: know if you listen to that episode, but we're not

664
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 1: doing that anymore. Somebody's going to build an apartment in

665
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 1: our basement, which is a shame because Worth the Beach

666
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 1: and Matt has been digging like math. He's so good

667
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 1: at digging. I really like digging guys, and he's really

668
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 1: taught the girls. I mean, you could have some little

669
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 1: four year old helpers, and that made by example that

670
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 1: might be against child labor laws. I don't know. Our

671
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 1: family isn't going to dig out our basement but someone else's.

672
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 1: And so we talked for a long time about airbnb

673
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 1: and the incompetential with it, as well as the drawbacks

674
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 1: of it, and I was more on the I had

675
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 1: problems with the privacy of it, and I was a

676
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 1: little worried about the noise issues. I didn't want our

677
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,239
Speaker 1: girls to feel like they're walking on eggshells if there

678
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:45,479
Speaker 1: was someone in our basement. So we've talked through a

679
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 1: lot of that and worked out some privacy solutions and

680
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 1: um drawn some lines of responsibility of who's going to

681
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 1: do what, and it made me comfortable finally to go

682
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 1: ahead and pull the trigger to start that process. So

683
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 1: I think that's something that we didn't necessarily disagree about,

684
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,720
Speaker 1: but we didn't both understand how it is going to

685
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 1: work best for our family or agree what we needed

686
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 1: to do. That's probably most recently what we've disagreed slash

687
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 1: talked about most. Yes, So I will say these are

688
00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 1: these things that are are big disagreements that seems pretty trivial,

689
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:20,440
Speaker 1: I think, probably compared to what a lot of people

690
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 1: are going through, have gone through, or what they've seen,

691
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 1: you know, modeled by you know, their parents or other

692
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:27,239
Speaker 1: people that they look up to, even who have had

693
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:31,560
Speaker 1: big financial struggles. And I've seen those financial struggles in

694
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:33,640
Speaker 1: other people and in people that I look up to

695
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 1: and admire, and so yeah, we've been really fortunate that

696
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:41,799
Speaker 1: we haven't had any major, knockdown, drag out financial disagreements. Uh.

697
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,880
Speaker 1: The key, uh, you know, if there are major student

698
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 1: loans or you know, big credit card debt they're getting

699
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 1: into a relationship with is to be open and honest

700
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:52,319
Speaker 1: about it so that you can tackle it together. And

701
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 1: I think that's probably the biggest thing that hinders a

702
00:34:55,760 --> 00:35:00,400
Speaker 1: relationship is dishonesty. And so if you are not honest

703
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:03,800
Speaker 1: with your partner about the financial struggles of your past,

704
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 1: or the debt that you're bringing into the relationship, or

705
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 1: your credit score, whatever it is, those things you should

706
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 1: be brought up over time. Your partner, if they're a

707
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:17,920
Speaker 1: good committed partner, They're not going to run away from you.

708
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,839
Speaker 1: When you come with honesty, they will want to meet

709
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 1: you there and we'll want to work on it together.

710
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 1: And so becoming a team when it comes to finances. Uh,

711
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 1: that's the goal. Again, we don't do it perfectly, but

712
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:31,719
Speaker 1: you know, we're working on it and we're getting there,

713
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 1: and we have to have these long drawn out discussions

714
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:37,040
Speaker 1: about you know, building an airbnb in our basement or

715
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 1: buying soccer tickets, whatever it may be. But ultimately honesty

716
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:44,520
Speaker 1: is the best policy and is crucial when it comes

717
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: to some of these financial discussions. Yeah, so that was

718
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 1: the biggest you know, sort of disagreement, or at least

719
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 1: the access that we sort of go through when we

720
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:05,760
Speaker 1: are faced with opposing opinions at least. So for you guys,

721
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 1: what joy have you experienced from the way that you

722
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 1: guys handle your finances. Yeah, that's a great question. The

723
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:17,839
Speaker 1: first thing that comes to mind is this, we've had

724
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:20,880
Speaker 1: some freedom to travel, and because we've been smart and

725
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,799
Speaker 1: cut back in particular areas, it's allowed us to do

726
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:25,880
Speaker 1: things like go on vacation like we are now, or

727
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 1: to just kind of enjoy go out to dinner when

728
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,040
Speaker 1: we want and not be stressed about it. So that's

729
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 1: just kind of like small daily joys. But I think

730
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 1: a huge joy that it's provided me is that Joel

731
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,959
Speaker 1: being smart about money and being willing to work hard

732
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 1: with the Reynolds and kind of hustle where he does.

733
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 1: I'm able to stay at home. My income isn't relied upon,

734
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 1: and so I do work outside of the home, but

735
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 1: very very part time. And that's actually just a really

736
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 1: huge joy that we don't have the burden of needing

737
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:58,319
Speaker 1: two incomes, that I have an incredibly flexible schedule. If

738
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 1: something's one of my kids are and they can't go

739
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:03,520
Speaker 1: to school, there's just I'm really flexible to be there.

740
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:07,840
Speaker 1: It's just a lifestyle I really appreciate and really and

741
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:12,520
Speaker 1: thankful for his foresight. That's kind of allowed me really

742
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,919
Speaker 1: some kind of financial independence, which I know we'll talk about,

743
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,080
Speaker 1: but that's it's kind of allowed that for me already

744
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 1: in a sense, and that's a huge joy. Yeah, that's

745
00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 1: what I'm truly thankful about with the way we handle

746
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 1: our finances more than anything more than a vacation or

747
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 1: you know, and we talked about on the way of money,

748
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,080
Speaker 1: there's a few things that Emily and I value the most.

749
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:34,520
Speaker 1: And and those are the things that other people might

750
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 1: not care about at all, like travel or folk art

751
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,719
Speaker 1: I mentioned in that episode. Uh, And we put some

752
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,640
Speaker 1: of our money towards those things every year. But ultimately,

753
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 1: in my opinion, nothing matters more than being able to

754
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:50,319
Speaker 1: choose whether you work or not. And and um, you know,

755
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 1: I always want you to work if you want to work,

756
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:55,759
Speaker 1: but the great thing is you don't have to. And

757
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,680
Speaker 1: so it's been really awesome for you to be home

758
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 1: with our girls for the most part. And and what

759
00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:05,279
Speaker 1: that's done for us lifestyle wise and community wise, how

760
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 1: we've been able to participate in our community as opposed

761
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 1: to you know, both working fifty hours a week. Rental

762
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,799
Speaker 1: properties were a huge part of that has just been

763
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 1: the greatest joy for me in in finances and and

764
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:19,879
Speaker 1: the way we handle our money. All right, Kay, what's

765
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,879
Speaker 1: the biggest joy you have experienced from the way your

766
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:26,080
Speaker 1: family handles your money? I think rather than joy, I

767
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:28,720
Speaker 1: might say freedom, which I think you guys mentioned too.

768
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 1: I think there's been a lot of freedom that has

769
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:35,359
Speaker 1: come from the way we handle our finances. I think

770
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 1: it's been for me I before we came into this relationship,

771
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 1: I kind of had this perspective that you like, spend

772
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: as little as you can, and anytime I did spend money,

773
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:46,799
Speaker 1: I kind of felt guilty about it. Anytime I went out,

774
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 1: I didn't really enjoy myself because I felt like I

775
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,399
Speaker 1: should spend as little as I could. But I think

776
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 1: with with the way that Matt views money, we get

777
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 1: to choose an amount to spend on something, and the

778
00:38:57,239 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 1: way I view it is more like, this is the

779
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 1: amount of money I have to spend on this, And

780
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,520
Speaker 1: I think that's been a huge shift for me in

781
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:06,840
Speaker 1: the way I have view money like this is what

782
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,799
Speaker 1: I have decided to spend, and I can spend it

783
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 1: guilt free. And money is not about gil is about

784
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 1: the decisions that we've made together and the goals that

785
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:18,400
Speaker 1: we've set together and us achieving those. And so there's

786
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 1: been so much freedom in that for me that I

787
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 1: don't feel this skill all the time when I go

788
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 1: out and and spend money. Yeah, I just I so

789
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 1: appreciate what Kate just said, because I remember we talked

790
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 1: about this a long time ago. Kate just saying there's

791
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 1: freedom and and spending this amount you need to spend

792
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:36,040
Speaker 1: this amount because you've budgeted. And that's just been really

793
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,160
Speaker 1: helpful for me to know that you don't need to

794
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:39,840
Speaker 1: feel guilty. You don't need to feel guilty about this,

795
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:41,440
Speaker 1: Like it's in the budget and this is the purpose,

796
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 1: So go for it. Okay, I'm glad you mentioned that too,

797
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,880
Speaker 1: because it actually makes me think of so the practical

798
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,840
Speaker 1: advice for the newlyweds. This is sort of maybe a

799
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 1: more practical thing for folks to consider. But I would

800
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 1: even suggest going to some sort of financial seminar or

801
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,239
Speaker 1: something like that, right, like you go, but if you're

802
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:01,160
Speaker 1: looking at marriage, you're you go through pre marriage counseling.

803
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 1: I mean, with money being the number one reason why

804
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:08,359
Speaker 1: couples fight and get an arguments and and why relationships suffer, like,

805
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,720
Speaker 1: that's something that you need to invest time and effort

806
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:14,320
Speaker 1: and energy into. And we didn't mention this earlier, but

807
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:15,600
Speaker 1: this is something I mean, that's something that Kate and

808
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 1: I did before we got married. We went this is

809
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 1: sort of why I have the Dave Ramsey drop out moniker,

810
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:22,719
Speaker 1: uh you know on my name. But Kate and I

811
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 1: went to the Dave Ramsey like event and I was, man,

812
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,840
Speaker 1: I was all about the Dave Ramsey planned and that

813
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,879
Speaker 1: was sort of how we started talking about money. Since then,

814
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 1: we have changed. We definitely do things that don't align

815
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 1: with the Dave Ramsey way. Uh, and that's fine, but

816
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:39,920
Speaker 1: for us that got us. That was a huge way

817
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:43,040
Speaker 1: that got us talking about money and sort of put

818
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:45,440
Speaker 1: it on the table as something that we could address.

819
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:48,959
Speaker 1: It wasn't just this thing that was unspoken and something

820
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,800
Speaker 1: that we never talked about. So yeah, I don't know,

821
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 1: I just wanted to mention that real quick, because that's

822
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:55,400
Speaker 1: maybe a practical thing to to consider as uh, a

823
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:58,560
Speaker 1: financial counseling session or a financial seminar or something like

824
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 1: that where the basics are addressed. Yeah, or listening to

825
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:03,960
Speaker 1: a great podcast together, or reading a good book together,

826
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:07,720
Speaker 1: Like there are some fantastic financial resources, many of which

827
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 1: are free at your local library or on your podcast app.

828
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 1: And going through something like that together, going through some

829
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:19,359
Speaker 1: specific topic ideas when that in relation to money, I mean,

830
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 1: that's a great way to then you know, discuss them afterwards.

831
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 1: That's super helpful. They can often give you kind of

832
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 1: a base level of information and then something to then

833
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 1: discussed together as a couple. I would say, also just

834
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 1: talking about money with friends has been really huge and

835
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 1: very helpful for us as well. Money can be a

836
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:40,839
Speaker 1: really sensitive, kind of taboo topic, but to be able

837
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:43,480
Speaker 1: to put it on the table and to talk to

838
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 1: friends has really taken out some of the mystery and

839
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:49,359
Speaker 1: stress from it. So like, for example, Kate is just

840
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 1: amazing in the kitchen and is great with a budget

841
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 1: on what she spends with food, and I've just asked

842
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,360
Speaker 1: for a lot of help like how do you cook

843
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 1: what and how do you combine this and what do

844
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 1: you spend? And that has been and really insightful and helpful.

845
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,920
Speaker 1: And it's just there's great expectations of as friends who

846
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:07,360
Speaker 1: have kids who are a little bit you know, further

847
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,799
Speaker 1: along than we are. What do I expect for expenses

848
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:12,480
Speaker 1: here there? You know? What purchases do I really need

849
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:15,000
Speaker 1: for my kids? What do I not need? So community

850
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:19,040
Speaker 1: really has been invaluable, and and knowing how to talk

851
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,640
Speaker 1: about money together as a couple too. It's really has

852
00:42:21,719 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 1: been a group process in a lot of ways. And

853
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:26,600
Speaker 1: by the way, there were some great questions on the

854
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 1: Facebook group about kids and meal planning and saving money

855
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:33,120
Speaker 1: on groceries, and we'll get to those hopefully in future episodes,

856
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,800
Speaker 1: but we really wanted to stick to kind of the

857
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:38,720
Speaker 1: core topic of couples and money and so on that note,

858
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 1: Connor had a question and said, do you guys agree

859
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:47,319
Speaker 1: as a couple on the goal of financial independence? Matt,

860
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 1: I'll let y'all take that one first. Yeah, Connor, that's

861
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 1: an awesome question. And so first I think we'll go

862
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 1: ahead and sort of define at least what financial independence

863
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 1: is for Kate and I, which is for us, it's

864
00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 1: having the option to continue working and the work that

865
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:04,520
Speaker 1: we're doing, or to potentially scale back and have more

866
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:07,759
Speaker 1: time to ourselves. For us, it's really about having the

867
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 1: option to do the kind of work that we want

868
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,719
Speaker 1: to do, and and and even to do as much

869
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:14,719
Speaker 1: or as little work as we want to do. I

870
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:16,279
Speaker 1: don't know if that's the best definition, but I mean

871
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,320
Speaker 1: that's the definition we're going to work from for this question.

872
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:21,319
Speaker 1: For us, it's okay, what are your thoughts? I think

873
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 1: we do agree on what financial independence looks like for us, Like,

874
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,319
Speaker 1: it doesn't look like not working anymore, it doesn't look

875
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 1: like retirement. It it looks like working where we want

876
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:34,440
Speaker 1: to work as often as we want to and having

877
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:38,279
Speaker 1: our time at our own fingertips and not sacrificing that

878
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 1: for financial independence a little bit earlier, where we could,

879
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:47,320
Speaker 1: you know, we could work harder now and be financially independent,

880
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,520
Speaker 1: be willing to be in the position to choose what

881
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,400
Speaker 1: we do and how often we do it a little

882
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:56,040
Speaker 1: bit sooner. But um, we're choosing to balance that a

883
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:58,920
Speaker 1: little bit with the time we have with our girls now.

884
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 1: At the ages that they are, I think they need

885
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:03,919
Speaker 1: a lot of physical presence and that's something that we've

886
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,799
Speaker 1: had to discuss, not necessarily because we disagree, but just

887
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:09,960
Speaker 1: because we needed to figure out for our family what

888
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 1: made the most sense for the ages that we're dealing

889
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 1: with right now. Yeah, okay, I mean that's awesome. That's

890
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:19,919
Speaker 1: something we have talked about and we are in agreement there.

891
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 1: It's financial independence is something that we want to achieve,

892
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:26,760
Speaker 1: but not at the expense of the short term goals.

893
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:29,840
Speaker 1: This isn't something we have to revisit and talk about

894
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:31,719
Speaker 1: because we feel that our goals have changed. It is

895
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 1: just because sometimes it's easy to lose that vision of

896
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:37,279
Speaker 1: what we want our life to look like now. And

897
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 1: so what I mean by that is, like you hear

898
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,480
Speaker 1: about vision leak when it comes to like marketing and

899
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:43,280
Speaker 1: things like that, you have to kind of remind people

900
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:45,160
Speaker 1: what the goal is, what what you want to do,

901
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 1: what message you want to send out with marketing, I

902
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,880
Speaker 1: mean for our lives. It's the same thing. We stated

903
00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 1: that there are certain values and certain goals that we

904
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:58,800
Speaker 1: want to prioritize now. But the world and our jobs

905
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 1: and just everything around us pulls on us and in

906
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:04,839
Speaker 1: the other direction to to spend our time elsewhere, and

907
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:08,640
Speaker 1: so it's easy to find ourselves in this cycle of

908
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:12,920
Speaker 1: buzziness and NonStop schedules and work and just everything that

909
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 1: kind of comes along with life. And so the discussions

910
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,799
Speaker 1: we have are essentially to kind of recenter us, not

911
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,879
Speaker 1: to have these discussions for the first time. So it's

912
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,359
Speaker 1: just like a tune up. The discussions we have tend

913
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 1: to be more of a I would say, like a

914
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:27,839
Speaker 1: tune up. Yeah, I agree with that. I think it's

915
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:31,920
Speaker 1: interesting when you have a variable income and when you

916
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 1: work for yourself. I think we have the potential of

917
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 1: overworking ourselves just by choice of going for this financial

918
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 1: independence goal as hardness fast as we can. We can

919
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 1: make that decision to work a lot more than we do,

920
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:49,920
Speaker 1: so It is a very it's an active conversation that

921
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,480
Speaker 1: we're kind of always engaged in. We talked about it

922
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 1: a lot, and we're constantly looking at the calendar. When

923
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 1: can Matt book? When can Matt not book? And so

924
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:01,160
Speaker 1: I think it's for us. It's just is very tangible

925
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:04,919
Speaker 1: thing that we're constantly talking about because when we don't work,

926
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: we don't make money, and when we do work, we

927
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:08,719
Speaker 1: do so it seems like, oh, we could work all

928
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:12,919
Speaker 1: the time, but choosing to network has been super valuable

929
00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:17,879
Speaker 1: for us, and I think, um a really hard decision, honestly. Yeah,

930
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:21,120
Speaker 1: Kate Will said, how about you guys. So I think

931
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 1: we agree on the goal of financial independence when we

932
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,880
Speaker 1: define that as freedom right. Freedom is a gift really

933
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:30,880
Speaker 1: in so many different ways. So when you have the

934
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 1: freedom to choose how you want to work and how

935
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:35,799
Speaker 1: you want to make money and what you can kind

936
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 1: of do with your time, I think we're all for that.

937
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,560
Speaker 1: I don't think financial independence is the idol in which

938
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 1: we sacrifice everything on our all of our budget and

939
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:48,440
Speaker 1: all of our energy is not directed towards that, Like,

940
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:51,720
Speaker 1: we aren't on that train a percent, because life happens

941
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 1: and we need to we have unexpected expenses, or sometimes

942
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 1: we want to go over budget for this trip, and

943
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:01,439
Speaker 1: that's more important than reaching finance independence by a certain date.

944
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:04,400
Speaker 1: So I do think it is the goal we have

945
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:06,239
Speaker 1: in mind, and we agree upon that, and I think

946
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 1: we are more frugal in some areas because we do

947
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 1: want that to happen. But we have to be human

948
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:14,480
Speaker 1: about it. There's a lot of humanity in that as well.

949
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 1: And sometimes, you know, you have to take your two

950
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:20,759
Speaker 1: year old to the doctor and two dollars to get

951
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:22,880
Speaker 1: X ray to be told that she can't poop. So

952
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 1: life happens, you know, and you just have to be

953
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 1: able to ride that train and not be deep railed.

954
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:32,560
Speaker 1: So wait, you're two year old or Joel, Well, I

955
00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:38,239
Speaker 1: don't want to embarrass them or two year old. So yes,

956
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 1: we agree on that goal, but it's not what dictates

957
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 1: all of our budget in all of our life. Yeah,

958
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 1: I think, you know, the financial independence space is growing

959
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,000
Speaker 1: so much. It's such a popular thing to talk about,

960
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 1: and it's such a noble goal. I think first we

961
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 1: have to realize that we live in a time and

962
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:59,960
Speaker 1: a place, in an age where it's possible for some people,

963
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 1: and that's kind of amazing and magnificent in this way

964
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:06,239
Speaker 1: that you know, for a lot of human history and

965
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:08,800
Speaker 1: for a lot of people right now, it's not possible.

966
00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 1: And so I think it takes a lot of humility

967
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:14,839
Speaker 1: and perspective just to understand the fact that it's kind

968
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:18,920
Speaker 1: of a modern convenience and possibility that financial independence at

969
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:21,440
Speaker 1: an early age and your you know, thirties or forties

970
00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:25,560
Speaker 1: or fifties is is possible. That's kind of crazy and new,

971
00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:28,240
Speaker 1: and so I think that that needs to be said.

972
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 1: And so I think for us, you know, knowing that

973
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:33,279
Speaker 1: that's the case, but seeing that it is a possibility,

974
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 1: I think it is you know, a worthwhile aim for

975
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:38,399
Speaker 1: us and for a lot of people. Really it's it's

976
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:41,880
Speaker 1: not terribly hard to seek under the constraints of a

977
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,680
Speaker 1: normal salary with you know, you know, one income or

978
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 1: one and apart income. And I think that's amazing, Like,

979
00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:51,919
Speaker 1: that's that's really really crazy and cool. But again I think,

980
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:54,520
Speaker 1: just like Emily said, like, if that's your your end goal,

981
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:56,480
Speaker 1: if that's the end all be all in my life

982
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:59,680
Speaker 1: will be fantastic. Once I am financially independent, once I

983
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:02,120
Speaker 1: am tired early at the age of forty two, or

984
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:04,880
Speaker 1: whatever it is, if that's your goal and your sole focus,

985
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:08,040
Speaker 1: once you hit that market forty two, you're gonna be

986
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 1: pretty bummed out because it's not going to meet all

987
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 1: your expectations. And so, you know, I think it is

988
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:16,799
Speaker 1: a worthy aspiration, but I think, just like we've been

989
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 1: talking about, it is something that needs to be changed

990
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:22,839
Speaker 1: over time and discussed with your partner. And and if

991
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,920
Speaker 1: you need to delay financial independence because you've got a

992
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:28,720
Speaker 1: crazy doctor, Bill, or because you just have other decisions

993
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:30,719
Speaker 1: you need to make in your life that work best

994
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:34,360
Speaker 1: for your family, man, those are decisions that are important

995
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:37,880
Speaker 1: and you shouldn't, you know, sacrifice the well being of

996
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:41,520
Speaker 1: your family just for you know, reaching that financial independence

997
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,920
Speaker 1: number at an earlier time. For the record, I just

998
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:47,279
Speaker 1: want to say that Bill was two nineteen dollars to

999
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 1: find out she was constipated. So do you guys have

1000
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 1: any other I guess some final thoughts before we wrap

1001
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:57,520
Speaker 1: this up. My final thoughts would just be really a

1002
00:49:57,560 --> 00:49:59,880
Speaker 1: summary of what we've said in so many different ways.

1003
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,160
Speaker 1: It is just to take the time to communicate, to

1004
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:05,920
Speaker 1: communicate with yourself what you think about money, your expectations,

1005
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 1: your own goals, and then communicate with your partner as well,

1006
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 1: because the way you spend money is not just about

1007
00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 1: the money. It's really indicative of a lot of things

1008
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:16,239
Speaker 1: of the way you view the world, of way you

1009
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:18,440
Speaker 1: view your time, of the way you view yourself. And

1010
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:20,919
Speaker 1: so that just takes a little bit of extra communication

1011
00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 1: and and that's that's just gonna take some time, and

1012
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 1: that's going to take some processing, and it's probably gonna

1013
00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:28,440
Speaker 1: be a little messy and maybe uncomfortable when you do

1014
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:30,920
Speaker 1: with your partner or even friends, but it's worth the

1015
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:34,440
Speaker 1: effort and just jump in. Yeah, I mean, I think

1016
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 1: that's great advice. I think to it, it's going to

1017
00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:40,359
Speaker 1: take humility on both sides of the coin. And so

1018
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 1: whether it's your previous money mistakes or something that your

1019
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 1: partner has done that you disagree with or you think

1020
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:50,759
Speaker 1: was a terrible idea, and it affects both of you,

1021
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:53,279
Speaker 1: it takes a lot of humility to enter into those

1022
00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:56,279
Speaker 1: conversations and to be gracious to the person that you

1023
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:58,640
Speaker 1: love and care about. But you have to enter into

1024
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:02,240
Speaker 1: those conversations about mone me with that perspective and remember

1025
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 1: that money issues, obviously, as Matt mentioned earlier, are one

1026
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 1: of the major reasons that lead to fights among couples,

1027
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 1: and the only way to kind of back that down

1028
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:13,640
Speaker 1: is to remember that this is the person I love

1029
00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:16,480
Speaker 1: the most, and so the money problem that you're having

1030
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:19,239
Speaker 1: right now, you can get through it. The person is

1031
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:21,640
Speaker 1: more important than the problem that's right in front of

1032
00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:24,120
Speaker 1: your eyes. Guys, that's that's some awesome stuff. And I

1033
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:27,279
Speaker 1: will say to listen back to episode twelve. Uh, that's

1034
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 1: the episode we talked about the why behind money and

1035
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:31,879
Speaker 1: some of the stuff too. You may not even know

1036
00:51:32,560 --> 00:51:34,839
Speaker 1: yourself and so it's hard to talk about it with

1037
00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:37,960
Speaker 1: your spouse or a significant other when you're not totally

1038
00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 1: sure why you are even doing this yourself, right, Like

1039
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 1: what are your goals yourself? You need to have thought

1040
00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:45,359
Speaker 1: about these things some when you come to that conversation

1041
00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:47,799
Speaker 1: so you can kind of be willing to share and

1042
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:50,520
Speaker 1: to have these goals that you can both work towards.

1043
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:53,640
Speaker 1: It takes a lot of self awareness to even have

1044
00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:56,959
Speaker 1: these discussions. So back to the beer. Yeah, so again

1045
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:01,040
Speaker 1: tonight we drank bulletproof Denali from Southern Swells Brewing Company,

1046
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:03,160
Speaker 1: a local brewery right down the street from where we're

1047
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:05,800
Speaker 1: staying here in Jack's Beach. This is a New England

1048
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:11,400
Speaker 1: style India, pale ale and absolutely delicious. We all finished

1049
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:15,200
Speaker 1: them something quicker than others. And uh, I was very thirsty,

1050
00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:19,359
Speaker 1: I think is again I'm hydrated from the beach and beer.

1051
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:24,399
Speaker 1: Kirsty hydration rights beer and coffee. That's what I heard. Yeah,

1052
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:26,920
Speaker 1: I was delicious. Man, that was so good. And uh,

1053
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:29,279
Speaker 1: this definitely makes me want to take our next beach

1054
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:31,960
Speaker 1: vacation here in Jack's Beach again. When can you go

1055
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:35,200
Speaker 1: to the beach and have legit fantastic beer. And I

1056
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 1: don't think it's just because we happen to stumble upon it,

1057
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:39,279
Speaker 1: you know when we were going to the store and

1058
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:40,839
Speaker 1: just we're like, oh, what's that, let's go check it out.

1059
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:43,560
Speaker 1: I think I can honestly say that this is very

1060
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:46,719
Speaker 1: good beer. This is very very good stuff. It totally is.

1061
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:48,600
Speaker 1: I might have to go pick them up to take

1062
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:51,239
Speaker 1: home with me. Yeah, ladies, thank you all so much

1063
00:52:51,280 --> 00:52:54,000
Speaker 1: for recording with us. This is totally awesome and a

1064
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:56,839
Speaker 1: fun way to spend a night uh here at the beach, right,

1065
00:52:56,960 --> 00:53:00,200
Speaker 1: what do y'all think? Yes, it was great. Yeah, that

1066
00:53:00,239 --> 00:53:01,560
Speaker 1: was a lot of fun. And like I said, there's

1067
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 1: gonna be other topics you know, from kids to groceries

1068
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, and we'll bring our wives back

1069
00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 1: on for some of those conversations because it's been a

1070
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:10,319
Speaker 1: lot of fun. Thanks so much for listening everyone, We

1071
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 1: really appreciate it. Our home on the web is how

1072
00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 1: to money dot com. As always, we'll have some notes

1073
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:18,279
Speaker 1: up there for this show, and don't forget to review

1074
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:21,240
Speaker 1: our podcast on Apple Podcast that just helps other people

1075
00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:24,200
Speaker 1: find out about how to Money. We'd really appreciate it. Also,

1076
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:26,720
Speaker 1: hit the subscribe button while you're there. Yeah, So until

1077
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:31,879
Speaker 1: next time, Cheers, guys, Cheers, cheers. Best Friends Out, Best

1078
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:32,439
Speaker 1: Friends Out.