1 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:05,480 Speaker 1: Oh, welcome back to another episode about me, this good 2 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 1: edition of your host, Kevin Paul. I guess that, Kevin. 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,720 Speaker 1: If you must know, my new morning jam is called 4 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: Morning Summer thanks to the sweet jerks at Costco. So 5 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,319 Speaker 1: I digress, let's me and I're gonna shall we know 6 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:25,279 Speaker 1: particular orders? Say Lord d James Heeny, Jimmy Heen? What 7 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: fruit can you still not get enough of? Uh? Strawberries? 8 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 1: I sometimes will buy them. I have a freezer full 9 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:34,559 Speaker 1: of strawberries that have cut up and frozen, and if 10 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 1: I see him on sale, I'll buy more. Oh, that's 11 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:43,200 Speaker 1: the correct answer. Back by popular demand, it's Jackie Gonzalez 12 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:53,479 Speaker 1: jack ge favorite sandwich. I love an Italian sub and 13 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: I specifically love the Godmother from Yes, Where's that? Basically, 14 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: that's it. That's the one one time my husband told 15 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:05,600 Speaker 1: me he had a surprise for me and he brought 16 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,319 Speaker 1: me back that sub and I and I fell to 17 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:14,120 Speaker 1: my knees. Yeah, try uh try the hot Italian at caprioties. 18 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:21,400 Speaker 1: Look out it's Christov Varado, Chris Doe and or do 19 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: worst moment on roller skates? Well, a little known fact. 20 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 1: I was an aggressive inland skater for a lot of years. Um, 21 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: that's what rollerblading, but aggressive inline skate James knows all 22 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 1: about that. Um, what's the aggressive part. Well, we're grinding 23 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:43,120 Speaker 1: rails and stuff and curves and everything, so it's been 24 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:48,360 Speaker 1: riding down handrails. Now. I was there for the public property. Yes, 25 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,000 Speaker 1: I was there for the birth of this movement though, 26 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 1: which was nice. I got to hang in Venice and 27 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 1: all the all the Senate guys, Arlo Eisenberg, uh Brook, 28 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 1: Howard Smith, all those guys. But I think the worst 29 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 1: part was I was always a chubby, short guy. I 30 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,160 Speaker 1: didn't grow to I'm six three now, I didn't grow 31 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 1: till after I graduated high school. So so I was 32 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 1: I was just frumpy and short, and it would be 33 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 1: very difficult for me to get up on a handrail 34 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:15,000 Speaker 1: without using my actual hands to like lift myself up. 35 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 1: So I had a lot of embarrassing uh days outskating. 36 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:21,079 Speaker 1: So I mean, you don't have much speed when you're 37 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: using your hands to get up. James, why don't you 38 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:27,080 Speaker 1: back the funk off? I'm sorry, he's a guy, so 39 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:31,079 Speaker 1: just now coming out the other end of the self 40 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 1: loathing to self loving, and you chime in, Now he's right, 41 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,400 Speaker 1: he's right, so yeah, it wasn't one embarrassing day. It 42 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 1: was embarrassing many constant thank you, James. Fuck and last 43 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,239 Speaker 1: but check your pants or pooh. If you think him lazy, 44 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,960 Speaker 1: it's Joey Greer uncle creep show. Any memory from your 45 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: time in Europe? Um, oh my gosh, let's see time 46 00:02:54,760 --> 00:03:02,640 Speaker 1: in Europe. Yeah, there's a yeah, actually, yeah, yeah, all right, 47 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 1: thank you, Let's do a damn show. Almost all of 48 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 1: our scene suggestions are gathered from listener emails or from 49 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 1: our patroon v I ps to become a patron supporter 50 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 1: of the show and enjoy exclusive content another suite perks. 51 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: Just head on over about patroon dot com slash alchemy this. 52 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 1: If you'd like to submit a scene suggestion via email, 53 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: please write to the podcast at your name here alci 54 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: me this dot com. That's your name here at scene one. 55 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:33,240 Speaker 1: It helps come from patroon v I P. Conrad, who 56 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 1: wrote Kevin has ignored my previous scene suggestions, but I'm 57 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 1: choosing to believe that it's because it was submitted through 58 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 1: email and not the Patreon messaging to which I'm entitled 59 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 1: as a v I fucking P. Anyway, in light of 60 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 1: today's pod and James's intro. I cannot be the only 61 00:03:55,800 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 1: person thinking of the following scene football down by the River. 62 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 1: Does that recall anything for you? James? Uh? Yeah, I 63 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:10,520 Speaker 1: was a legend. Ps. I also enjoy hearing your original 64 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 1: low volume and seemingly interminable audible ad read Kevin when 65 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 1: I run across it listening to old episodes. Any listeners 66 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 1: looking for it can find it easily. It is contained 67 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:26,400 Speaker 1: in any show that has a listed runtime of over 68 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 1: an hour. Oh this fucking kills me because it literally 69 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 1: adds five minutes to what would normally be a fifty 70 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:39,720 Speaker 1: seven or fifty eight minutes show. Stay healthy and keep 71 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:43,440 Speaker 1: up the good work. Conrad. Alright, guys, gather around, gather around, 72 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,160 Speaker 1: gather round. Knock it off. Come on, take a knee, 73 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,200 Speaker 1: Take a knee, Take a knee, everybody, Okay, hold on, 74 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 1: all right, I was told we were gonna play flat. Alright. Listen, boys, listen, boys. 75 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:56,839 Speaker 1: So you know I love you like you're my own children. Yeah, yeah, 76 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,120 Speaker 1: And I love you like you're my only dad. Sorry, 77 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 1: good coach, couldn't to people little kids. Excuse me, I'm 78 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: just real quick. We're all sorry that you're too, we 79 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 1: got cut and all that, and I'm not I'm not sorry. 80 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 1: I'm not sorry because what God couldn't give me in 81 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,359 Speaker 1: my sperm, he gave to me right here on the field. 82 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:20,400 Speaker 1: Appreciate that. But again, sorry about the bad dick. I'm 83 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,039 Speaker 1: really sorry about that. We think of you like a dad. 84 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 1: I know, I know you do. Dad was a bad dick. 85 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,800 Speaker 1: This is why it kills me, Dad, Yeah, this is 86 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,600 Speaker 1: what it kills me to say. Even though we all 87 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 1: have our own homes and all that, and like, well, 88 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 1: you know, we all come from father's, all of us. 89 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 1: At one point, Jake has his own baby on the way. 90 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 1: I wasn't gonna bring it up, is that right, Jake? Yeah, 91 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,720 Speaker 1: that's nice. That's really nice for you. That's really nice 92 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,240 Speaker 1: for you. That's really nice in accident. No, that's good. 93 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 1: That's good. And I don't know if we're gonna keep it. 94 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:53,800 Speaker 1: Oh you should? You should? You should? Should? You give 95 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:58,160 Speaker 1: it to coach? Alright? Alright, listen, listen up. I'm so 96 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,920 Speaker 1: responsible for it the baby to coach, all right, should 97 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:07,240 Speaker 1: give it to coach? Coaches. I'm not just gonna be 98 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:13,719 Speaker 1: coaching anymore. Whoa what what? What? What? What? The city 99 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:17,720 Speaker 1: of Carl's Bad. What City of Carl's Bad? What has 100 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:20,840 Speaker 1: decided to get rid of all sports fund? What did 101 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 1: you say? Wait? What what this city of Carlsbad? What what? Well? 102 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 1: The city of Carl's Bad has decided to remove all 103 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:40,359 Speaker 1: athletic funding and uh turning this filled into a shopping center. No, daddy, no, 104 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 1: you can't that. You guys can't hug me like that. 105 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 1: I of ideas. Okay, I don't know where else we 106 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 1: can play football, if I'm being honest. Okay, football belongs 107 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 1: on the football fields. We all know that we've got 108 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,040 Speaker 1: to be able to do something. Well, Listen, I'm gonna 109 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 1: go back to my apartment. Okay, you know where I live. 110 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,600 Speaker 1: Come up with any ideas, bring up six pack of 111 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 1: Miller High Life, and tell me all about it. I'm 112 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:10,160 Speaker 1: out of here. Boys, Thanks coach, see you later. You'll 113 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 1: always be a hero with a bad dick. Oh my god, 114 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:15,440 Speaker 1: you guys were gonna lose the team. We're gonna lose football. 115 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 1: First of all, Jake, shut it. Listen to me. Everyone 116 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:28,800 Speaker 1: huddle up. Okay, gotta give that baby coach YEA. I 117 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: swear to god, I'm gonna ramma rock right into your face. Listen, 118 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:37,160 Speaker 1: We're going to Coach's apartment in forty five minutes. Okay. 119 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 1: I don't know how we're going to get our twelve 120 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 1: year old hands on some high life, but if anybody 121 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:46,400 Speaker 1: has any ideas, now's the time. I mean, we could 122 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 1: stack up three of us, put an overcoat on. Oh great, 123 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 1: so we're seven ft tall? What the hell is wrong 124 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 1: with you? Man? This is yeah? Well know if one 125 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 1: of us doesn't go on the shoulders but goes on 126 00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,800 Speaker 1: the back, then we're like six ft tall with a hunchback. 127 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 1: That Jake looks the oldest. I mean, Jake's gonna be 128 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,120 Speaker 1: a dad. I bet you. I bet you when you're when, 129 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,400 Speaker 1: you're almost gonna be a dad. You've got a confidence 130 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 1: that gets you a Miller High Life six pack. I 131 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,720 Speaker 1: don't know if I'm gonna be a dad. Yeah, Jake, 132 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 1: I heard your older brother is the one who tapped Cynthia. Anyways, 133 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 1: so don't sweat it's a fucking rumor. Can kick you? 134 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 1: Welcome to seven eleven. Yeah, let me get some Scotch 135 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:37,280 Speaker 1: tape and some double A batteries, bottle of old Harper 136 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: and I'll take that Jugs magazine. Okay, all right, you 137 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:47,559 Speaker 1: are I gotta do this part of the thing. You 138 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 1: got any idea? Yep? Absolutely? Thanks? Oh you mean with 139 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:58,240 Speaker 1: me on me or just in general, because I have 140 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:03,720 Speaker 1: an idea? Yeah, okay, yeah, everybody down, man, everybody fucking damn. 141 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:10,079 Speaker 1: What's happening? Open that register? Open that register. Man, you're 142 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:15,959 Speaker 1: just supposed to be asking for Miller High Life. But 143 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,080 Speaker 1: that gun down. Put that gun down, sir, Give me 144 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 1: the register right now. Man. Oh my god, ship, Oh, 145 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,480 Speaker 1: get out of here. If I'm gonna catch one charge, 146 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,720 Speaker 1: I'm gonna catch another. Dude. Listen up, you dude, you dude, 147 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:41,760 Speaker 1: the guy buying the magazine. What magazine were you buying? Jugs? Magazine? 148 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:45,599 Speaker 1: Just pottery? What the fund is this, dude? Yeah, ceramics. 149 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,920 Speaker 1: All right, I need you to buy us Miller High 150 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 1: Life now now okay, course buy it. Pound this guy. 151 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,840 Speaker 1: We don't have. We need you to buy it. Let's 152 00:09:55,840 --> 00:10:03,200 Speaker 1: go go on. Hey, what's up fellas? Hey, coach, Hey, coach, 153 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:08,719 Speaker 1: what do you guys got a six pack? Can we 154 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 1: come in? Card and blood? Yeah, come on in, come on. Yeah. 155 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:17,600 Speaker 1: The smoke, don't mind the smoke. That's incense. It's incense. Jake, Jake, 156 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:20,800 Speaker 1: skin his knee on the way here because I told 157 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 1: him take a knee. Anyways, Um, we had we had 158 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:30,440 Speaker 1: some follow up questions if we could. Yeah, yeah, what's up? 159 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 1: Because one of us get one of those beers. Boys? 160 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,440 Speaker 1: You know I can't do that. Not the follow up 161 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:41,079 Speaker 1: question we talked about. Man, I have follow up question. 162 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 1: You just burning the follow up question? Man? Alright, guys, alright, 163 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 1: one of you. I didn't watch someone died. Didn't you 164 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,440 Speaker 1: funk up the follow No, we don't know if you died. 165 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:54,320 Speaker 1: We don't watch. If you didn't have a baby, what 166 00:10:54,400 --> 00:11:00,199 Speaker 1: would you name it? I'm not gonna have baby. Then 167 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:04,800 Speaker 1: you gotta give it a coach, Jake. Shut Jake, for 168 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 1: the seventeenth time. Shut it. He was asking, coach, if 169 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 1: you're gonna have a baby, what would you name it 170 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:12,880 Speaker 1: if it was a boy? And what would you name 171 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,960 Speaker 1: it if it was your girl? All right, take any 172 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:20,480 Speaker 1: take any everywhere, take any take any Okay, I'm gladio 173 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,680 Speaker 1: ass and I've thought about this long and hard. Sure, 174 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:26,680 Speaker 1: of course, of course, if it's a girl, Brooklyn, Brooklyn's great, 175 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:32,480 Speaker 1: can go by Brooklyn. Why not a boy's name too? Oh? Ship, 176 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:37,440 Speaker 1: give me the one set, give me one set. Guys. Hey, hey, 177 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: go over there and uh and running next flour great, yeah, 178 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 1: go run it next four? All right, every one second? Hello, 179 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 1: who whoa, whoa. If it isn't the coach of the 180 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 1: football team, there's gonna be no more. Look, we've updated 181 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 1: the zoning area. It looks like your apartment. Your apartment 182 00:11:56,679 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 1: is going to be part of the new mall. So 183 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:02,520 Speaker 1: we're gonna have to vict you. Listen, Luther, I can 184 00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:04,679 Speaker 1: smell how rich you are from here. Okay, you don't 185 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:07,000 Speaker 1: have to rub it in my face. That's gold, my man, 186 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,320 Speaker 1: you're smelling gold. But that get it out of my 187 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 1: face like dangle, d angle. So what are you saying. 188 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,600 Speaker 1: You're saying I'm losing my field and I'm losing my home. 189 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 1: I'm building a mall pipe right through your apartment. Telling 190 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 1: me the mall pipe is cann go right through here. 191 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:29,720 Speaker 1: That's right. Let me get a solid, solid gold pipe. 192 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 1: I bet you could do about it. You're forgetting something 193 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,200 Speaker 1: I have until midnight tonight. You come up with a plan. 194 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 1: So good. Look, yeah, thanks, I appreciate that. Man, I 195 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,719 Speaker 1: need it. And let me just tell you one more thing. 196 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:53,760 Speaker 1: I just had my seventeen kid, explore, explore, hike HIHI look, 197 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:57,679 Speaker 1: hike hi. That's good. Good's good work, good work boys, 198 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 1: good work boys. All I bring it in and bring 199 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,080 Speaker 1: bring it. Okay, here we go, here we go, all right, 200 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 1: here you can rinse with the high life. You can't 201 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:09,280 Speaker 1: swallow it. Okay, you promise, spottle around the past, bottle 202 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:13,400 Speaker 1: round and take a little sway. Gentleman of the board. 203 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:22,920 Speaker 1: This mall is going to be the biggest mall in Rivers. Alright, alright, 204 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,880 Speaker 1: right now. I want this mall to have one thing 205 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,760 Speaker 1: and one thing only, and I wanted to have nothing 206 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:33,080 Speaker 1: to do with football. Do you understand why? Why? Who 207 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:38,600 Speaker 1: said that? Said that said? We're all wondering. We're all wondering, Dad, 208 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:42,000 Speaker 1: Why don't you want to have anything to do with football? 209 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:47,600 Speaker 1: Football is evil? Football is a sport, and football has 210 00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:54,360 Speaker 1: coaches and players no more, there should be no food. Alright, guys, 211 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:58,440 Speaker 1: I'm your coach, Luther, how old you, little bud? Uh? 212 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,320 Speaker 1: All right? Unfortunately, you're not gonna be able to play 213 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,560 Speaker 1: this game. You'll probably never amount to anything. So you 214 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 1: go over there, everybody else X four. Yeah, what's the 215 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:19,440 Speaker 1: problem with her? The problem is football? I used to 216 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:22,920 Speaker 1: be a coach of the Nautical National football team of 217 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:27,880 Speaker 1: River City. How are you ever coaching? I played a 218 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,320 Speaker 1: day in your life. I lost that coaching job to 219 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:37,000 Speaker 1: coach who is now coach? Coaching? Coach? You know what? 220 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 1: Come here? Bring that that of liquid gold? Google. I 221 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 1: don't know if I should. You should? Okay, alright, somebody 222 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,520 Speaker 1: get that. You're the only one that has a cell phone. 223 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:54,080 Speaker 1: You're okay? Is this Luther? This is Luther? Who's calling? 224 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:59,120 Speaker 1: It's Gregory? Gregory. I told you not to call him 225 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 1: the line. No, but it's important. What is it I 226 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:09,000 Speaker 1: really need thirty? I just gave you a check for 227 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 1: five grand two weeks ago. What the hell do you 228 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:15,040 Speaker 1: need this surgery? We talked about this. You want to 229 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,720 Speaker 1: get Dolphin Lakes? It doesn't make any sense. It does 230 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,640 Speaker 1: make sense. What do you want, Finn? Do you want one? 231 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,800 Speaker 1: You want to make yourself to a mermaid? Two fins? 232 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 1: Two fans? Right? Fine, it's thirty alright, little fellas, Uh, 233 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,560 Speaker 1: it's getting late street, let's coming out. I'm sure your 234 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:40,240 Speaker 1: head hurt from all that. Miller. I told you that swallow, 235 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 1: You're not swallow. Listen, you guys, go home, You guys 236 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,080 Speaker 1: we all have the same walkie talkie frequency. So if 237 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:50,480 Speaker 1: you come up with any good ideas, shot ahead and 238 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 1: shoot me. Oh I have a good Hey, don't worry 239 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:01,000 Speaker 1: about don't worry about. Just but with your foot. Everybody, 240 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:03,000 Speaker 1: come on, we were rubbing in, rubbing into the carpet. 241 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 1: Nice job, Courtney. Sorry, all right, listen. Uh yeah, well 242 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,000 Speaker 1: I'll be on Channel two tonight in Milwaukee's if anybody 243 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,120 Speaker 1: gets any big ideas. Uh we until midnight to save 244 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 1: this program. Otherwise what channel? Shill we be on coach 245 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 1: on Milwaukee channel to everybody switch over to Channel two 246 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 1: and Jacob for some reason, the kid, you know, because 247 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 1: of for adoption or something. I love. I love first looks, 248 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:33,440 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. That's right. We got them 249 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,000 Speaker 1: all here right here in River City and man and 250 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,680 Speaker 1: A and two els. I'm all, I'm all here right 251 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 1: here in River City. No football, no fl O t B, 252 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:45,800 Speaker 1: a double L, no football, just them all, just a 253 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:49,120 Speaker 1: double el mall and River City. That's them all right here, 254 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:59,880 Speaker 1: River City. You guys, you guys know what you guys listen. 255 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but my neighborhood has been 256 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,639 Speaker 1: just loud as ship. I can't go to sleep. Someone's 257 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:10,439 Speaker 1: out there sitting singing in the bottom of spending a sign, singing, 258 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,480 Speaker 1: singing cheers for the ball. Yeah about them all right 259 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,960 Speaker 1: here in River City, they're right out. We must live 260 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,720 Speaker 1: really close to each other, because I see somebody right 261 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:25,960 Speaker 1: outside my window screaming about window. Maybe we're neighbors. Can 262 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,159 Speaker 1: you guys go to another channel and try. Hey, man, 263 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:33,080 Speaker 1: either you're in or you're out. I'm dealing with so 264 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,480 Speaker 1: much personal stress. I don't know if I'm want to 265 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:38,359 Speaker 1: have a kute or not. You keep saying no, So 266 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,679 Speaker 1: that's where we're really confused. Man, it seems like you 267 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:45,399 Speaker 1: do know. It seems like you neighbor. I'm gonna go 268 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,400 Speaker 1: to channel three for a second and see if anybody 269 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:52,359 Speaker 1: can hear me out there. If anybody can hear me 270 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 1: out there, this is just a lonely coach. Now. I 271 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,280 Speaker 1: haven't always been a good guy. Hell, some would say 272 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,520 Speaker 1: I've been a bad god. Oh my god, who is this. 273 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,200 Speaker 1: I'm with a group of survivors on in the Highland. 274 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:13,080 Speaker 1: Oh no, thank you. That same number one did get 275 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:17,560 Speaker 1: the kids, you know. I imagine that the song mall 276 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:21,200 Speaker 1: no football here in the city inspired the idea to 277 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:25,680 Speaker 1: play football by the river. Yeah, and the coach. Coach 278 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:33,040 Speaker 1: definitely got Jake's kid. See two is from Roofs, who 279 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,840 Speaker 1: wrote High Alchemist, long time listener, first time rider and 280 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:38,520 Speaker 1: all of that. I had my doubts as to how 281 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:41,639 Speaker 1: an improv podcast would work, but after hearing how the 282 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:45,399 Speaker 1: Murder and Puriat Turla's Diner played out, I knew my 283 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:49,360 Speaker 1: life had changed forever. Here's my scene suggestions employees at 284 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:52,320 Speaker 1: a company. All go to the funeral for the weird 285 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:56,120 Speaker 1: coworker no one really knew. Open casket, and all keep 286 00:18:56,160 --> 00:19:00,000 Speaker 1: doing your thing and brightening our days in these tough time. 287 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,919 Speaker 1: Tis best Rufus from Stockholm, the one in Sweden, not 288 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:10,280 Speaker 1: in Wisconsin. Oh, there's coffee in the waiting room and 289 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:14,399 Speaker 1: you can get yourself some orders while you wait for 290 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:18,720 Speaker 1: the viewing. Yes, thanks Lurch. Hey, you guys want to 291 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:24,080 Speaker 1: go up and see the dead gay? You're right? What's crazy? 292 00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:27,280 Speaker 1: I want to pay my respect? Yeah? I mean I've 293 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:33,040 Speaker 1: been drinking pretty heavy. Yeah, we can tell you. Did 294 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:37,280 Speaker 1: I come in that? Yes? Do you smell like gold schlager? Dude? Shit? Sorry, 295 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 1: So seriously though, can we go see the dead gay? 296 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,240 Speaker 1: I don't want to go with you. Man. Also, it's 297 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,879 Speaker 1: not just a dead guy. I mean I know no 298 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:46,840 Speaker 1: one here knew him. But he had a name. Yeah, 299 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:55,320 Speaker 1: what was that name? Okay, Durst? What seriously? Yes? Fuck geez? Coincidence. 300 00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:00,080 Speaker 1: So which are the Durst family members? We can go 301 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:04,000 Speaker 1: up and say how great he was at work? I mean, 302 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,399 Speaker 1: it's all that anyone wearing a red baseball cap as 303 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:10,920 Speaker 1: part of the Durst family. That sounds nice. Okay, I'll 304 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 1: go first. All right, Oh my god, Jesus tune. Sorry, 305 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 1: you can't go into You just threw up over your suit. Man. 306 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,239 Speaker 1: I don't do that. Don't do that, dude. I mean, 307 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:28,720 Speaker 1: it looks like you've got some some spiel, some vomit 308 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,680 Speaker 1: on your shirt. Let me let me use this tower. 309 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:40,200 Speaker 1: Get off me. Okay, um, yeah, listen, I heard Fred 310 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,760 Speaker 1: had a has got a widow. I just wanted to 311 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:46,040 Speaker 1: say a few things to her. Jesus Christ, I am 312 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:49,000 Speaker 1: so sorry. I run this funeral home here, and I 313 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,880 Speaker 1: don't appreciate the comments of Lurch. And if you're trying 314 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 1: to poach the widow of the deceased, I am a 315 00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:01,720 Speaker 1: guardian of this celebration of life. You must leave. Wasn't 316 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,280 Speaker 1: ask you are you two with this gentleman? You must 317 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,159 Speaker 1: leave too, You cannot stay. What are you serious? We 318 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:10,000 Speaker 1: worked with Fred at the office. Yeah, we wanted to say. 319 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,080 Speaker 1: I shipped to Fred Man. I just wonder where the 320 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:17,120 Speaker 1: widow is. I'm asking you all to leave. Don't make 321 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:22,159 Speaker 1: me escort you myself. Yeah, okay, I guess are you 322 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:25,560 Speaker 1: with them? You're leaving to all four of you? All 323 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:29,439 Speaker 1: four of you right this way, right? This is you 324 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:33,400 Speaker 1: guys get kicked out of the funeral. Yeah, you guys 325 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,159 Speaker 1: want to go to a real funeral. Huh? What are 326 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,359 Speaker 1: you saying? What I'm saying that I got a place 327 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:39,280 Speaker 1: that we can look at a body, touch of body, 328 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 1: you know what I mean? No? Thank you? Whose body? 329 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 1: I mean? Who is right? Co worker of mine? It 330 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:55,120 Speaker 1: depends on the body worker. I'd love to go bab 331 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,720 Speaker 1: Are you guys serious? I mean I would consider it 332 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,080 Speaker 1: for a certain body. Of these people, what are you 333 00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:04,320 Speaker 1: bringing them in? We're trying to dispose what's going on? 334 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:11,080 Speaker 1: This body paid good money to come up with this girl. Okay, 335 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,639 Speaker 1: now look you're going to my She sounds really disturbing. 336 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,280 Speaker 1: It might look like the lower part of his body 337 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,760 Speaker 1: turned into a dolphin. All right, the bot surgery not 338 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 1: a big deal, that right? So whyou we just take 339 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 1: a look, and that's a body I want to touch 340 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:29,000 Speaker 1: for yeah, go for it. What's gotten into you yet? 341 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,199 Speaker 1: This body? I don't know? Go ahead the funeral before. 342 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,639 Speaker 1: But in the office, you're so a great worker, you're 343 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:38,760 Speaker 1: a team player, and now you want to touch weird bodies? 344 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,840 Speaker 1: Is that not me being a team player and a 345 00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:44,120 Speaker 1: hard worker. I'm working hard at this funeral and I'm 346 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:48,399 Speaker 1: playing with the team of the funeral people. Oh so 347 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,480 Speaker 1: we're going to frame these guys. That's perfect. Your real smart, 348 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:54,600 Speaker 1: real smart. Yeah, I don't think of prints all over 349 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,679 Speaker 1: the body. That's how we're doing. Then it's not going 350 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,840 Speaker 1: to be our problem. You understand, you're so smart. Let's 351 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:02,000 Speaker 1: just the back door. Now, they can deal with it. 352 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,160 Speaker 1: One's got dolphin legs? What the fund is that many? 353 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:12,760 Speaker 1: Where is everybody? You tell me that you've kicked everybody 354 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:16,560 Speaker 1: out of the funeral? I am sorry, Mrs Jurst, but 355 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,000 Speaker 1: one of them was trying to use this as an 356 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,280 Speaker 1: opportunity to get close to you. It's what we call 357 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 1: a widow poacher and the funeral place. What do you 358 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,920 Speaker 1: mean someone was trying to grieve me. They wanted they 359 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:33,159 Speaker 1: wanted to grieve fuck you, yes, escorted them all down. 360 00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:37,000 Speaker 1: Oh I'm so sorry. I've I've already kicked them out. 361 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:43,840 Speaker 1: We could. I might still be sorry. A funeral slash 362 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:51,119 Speaker 1: birthday party? Okay what I'm so sorry. They might be 363 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,359 Speaker 1: in the park. Let me go, sir. Well, you better 364 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,640 Speaker 1: go find them, and you better bring every single one 365 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:59,080 Speaker 1: of them back here now, all four of them, the 366 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:06,199 Speaker 1: all four of them. Okay, Okay, my sister, I'm so sorry, Tracy, 367 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,040 Speaker 1: take that out of your mouth. Why are you putting 368 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,720 Speaker 1: the dead in your mouth? I just want to see 369 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,359 Speaker 1: tastes like Yeah, you two are on the same page 370 00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 1: over here. It tastes pretty good, right, have a good 371 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:24,520 Speaker 1: time over here? Yeah, yeah, give us a secto, sir? 372 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,479 Speaker 1: Were you eating a finn? Okay? Well, you know whatever. Alright, Uh, 373 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:32,840 Speaker 1: me and my um sister gotta go out for something 374 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 1: real quick and we'll be back. Okay, perfect, come on, 375 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,800 Speaker 1: let's go. Hey, you just you gotta go in there. 376 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:44,000 Speaker 1: Tell him that you also your brother. They're not gonna 377 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:46,800 Speaker 1: believe I'm your sister. It doesn't matter, say your sister 378 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:50,320 Speaker 1: and your brother. Let's just go. This is all out. 379 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:55,680 Speaker 1: Let's all right, I'll fix it already, buddy, everybody U 380 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,479 Speaker 1: my brother and I are gonna go with my sister 381 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:02,639 Speaker 1: and we're gonna go out. Okay, yeah, we care, Just go. 382 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,400 Speaker 1: We don't really care what what you guys are doing. 383 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:11,199 Speaker 1: Just get out of here already, all right. But we 384 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,440 Speaker 1: paid good money to see this body, and so that's 385 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:22,440 Speaker 1: what we're doing. How much? Well? Whoa, Okay, thank you? 386 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:26,960 Speaker 1: You know, geez, this is just this has been a 387 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,920 Speaker 1: weird day, guys. The first of all, we lost the 388 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,840 Speaker 1: coworker that we don't really know what we're going to 389 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,359 Speaker 1: do our past. Oh I don't really know. You knew 390 00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:37,439 Speaker 1: his name. That's it's about it. Remember you came in 391 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,240 Speaker 1: so hot, screaming, and people call him learns trying to 392 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:43,960 Speaker 1: fund the wife or whatever. And you're happy with this. Also, 393 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,400 Speaker 1: you haven't stopped throwing up since we left. I had 394 00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:54,520 Speaker 1: I had some bad us. What's happening? What is that weave? 395 00:25:56,040 --> 00:26:01,080 Speaker 1: Come out us? Oh? God? Leave us? Is being called 396 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:08,399 Speaker 1: by the dead. Do you guys know who? Grievous? Oh? Wait, 397 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:14,440 Speaker 1: I think he's saying we should grieve them, grieve us. 398 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:24,920 Speaker 1: I've found you, grievers? Are you not the grievers. Yeah, 399 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:28,560 Speaker 1: we paid to grieve. What's up? Widod On? Hold on? 400 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:34,880 Speaker 1: You were screaming with grievers, grievers? Why are you bring 401 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:38,439 Speaker 1: you back to the funeral? Were you not prepared to 402 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:43,119 Speaker 1: grieve your coworker freend? Yeah, but then we got kicked out, 403 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:46,280 Speaker 1: and then we each paid forty eight hundred dollars to 404 00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:50,359 Speaker 1: be here. Yeah, I don't. Oh my god, this body 405 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,440 Speaker 1: looks like it's from the island of talk. Tom Row. Yeah, 406 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,920 Speaker 1: that's that's what I was thinking. Yeah. Yeah, these two 407 00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:59,439 Speaker 1: keep putting it in their mouth. Tracy, you're I'm disappointed 408 00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:03,400 Speaker 1: you more than anybody. Listen, I'm gonna make this quick. 409 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:05,960 Speaker 1: I don't want any lurch jokes. But I made a 410 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:11,879 Speaker 1: mistake when I kicked you out. Apparently Mrs Durst wants 411 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:19,000 Speaker 1: to fuck so excuse me, I said, out of my way? 412 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,640 Speaker 1: Where's he going? But we don't go. We need all 413 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,720 Speaker 1: four of you. It's not gonna happen, oh ship, she 414 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:29,199 Speaker 1: cut away. Yeah, welcome to the police station. What can 415 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:32,920 Speaker 1: we do for you too? Yeah, this was to be 416 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,480 Speaker 1: a crime that was committed as some kind of crime. 417 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,520 Speaker 1: I recognize you to you two are the biggest criminals 418 00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,480 Speaker 1: in this town and you're here to report crime. Get out, 419 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:47,000 Speaker 1: sire's a crime. Now you're not doing this just for 420 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:51,919 Speaker 1: the reward money? Are you for any crime we tell 421 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,440 Speaker 1: you about? Any crime? I ever one? If you tell 422 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,280 Speaker 1: us a crime that leads to a conviction, you each 423 00:27:56,320 --> 00:28:02,359 Speaker 1: get more. Oh all right, well, then if I tell you, 424 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,560 Speaker 1: do I get? Do? I get forty eight hundred? No? No, no, 425 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:09,240 Speaker 1: I get. Whoever gives me the most information that leads 426 00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:12,480 Speaker 1: to a conviction gets the Okay, Well, there's a guy 427 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,800 Speaker 1: half of his body looks like a dolphin. Okay, there's 428 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 1: four people in there touching them, and they got us 429 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,040 Speaker 1: kill them. The guy's fingerprints on there they killed and fingerprints. Yeah, 430 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,760 Speaker 1: it looks like they did a botched surgery and the 431 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,879 Speaker 1: and the double fin legs didn't take right. Ye And 432 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,479 Speaker 1: then okay, I'm gonna get Finn throw up and Hope 433 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:32,920 Speaker 1: about to throw up too. And then I'm gonna give you. 434 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:36,720 Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you two checks, but I'm not gonna 435 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:39,920 Speaker 1: sign it. I'm not gonna sign it. Okay, I'm leaving 436 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:45,480 Speaker 1: that part, that part blank until a conviction is made. 437 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 1: You understand here, you go check until you know you 438 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,239 Speaker 1: hold onto it. You hold on to it. There you go. 439 00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:55,640 Speaker 1: I'm gonna leave the two part blank as well, so 440 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 1: I'm putting for I'm gonna put in the memo can 441 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:03,080 Speaker 1: action pending? Wait, what's the two pop blank? What is 442 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:07,920 Speaker 1: the blank? Other blank? But your name? Yeah, I can 443 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,600 Speaker 1: put that in. I don't mean that's what I'm saying. 444 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:14,960 Speaker 1: So I'm handing you each put your hands out. You're 445 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 1: handing out checks here. If it leads to a conviction, yeah, absolutely, 446 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,960 Speaker 1: just it's he means pay to the order of nub nuts. 447 00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:28,440 Speaker 1: Let me know if you want anything from Taco Tuesday? Uh? 448 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,280 Speaker 1: Are you going to to Taco Tuesday? I'm going right now, 449 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:34,880 Speaker 1: but it's Wednesday. Honestly, that's crazy talk, right, all right, 450 00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:39,040 Speaker 1: I'll think I'll take the use okay, little the old alright, fellas, 451 00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:46,840 Speaker 1: I'm gonna head over there now the Taco Tuesdays. I mean, 452 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:49,160 Speaker 1: you look at this. It's this is an acting case. Man. 453 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:51,880 Speaker 1: We talked about a murder and you're going, okay, all right, 454 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:54,720 Speaker 1: it's a it's an acting case. Yeah, that we we're 455 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,160 Speaker 1: talking about so much fucking dead. Can I get a 456 00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:04,240 Speaker 1: ride what from us? Cause it's not really appropriate for 457 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:08,760 Speaker 1: visitors in the back. Yeah yeah, it's it's dirty yet. 458 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:13,719 Speaker 1: All right, just give me the address. Um, oh I 459 00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:19,680 Speaker 1: don't remember the address. No no, no, no, no no. 460 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:29,040 Speaker 1: Thank you all for coming to this funeral. Um. Sorry, 461 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:36,240 Speaker 1: is that better? Okay? I can hear you for a second. Okay, sorry, um, 462 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:42,880 Speaker 1: thank you all for coming to this funeral. Um. Fred 463 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:49,880 Speaker 1: was a great uncle, a stand up citizen. I'm sorry 464 00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:56,680 Speaker 1: for interrupting. I'm sorry. I I run this funeral home. 465 00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:03,440 Speaker 1: It's just we've got the the widow banger here. I'm sorry, 466 00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:06,280 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt this speech, 467 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:11,800 Speaker 1: but I made a promise. The Durst funeral is over there, sir. Shit, 468 00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:20,680 Speaker 1: Oh shit, shit, shit, sorry, go on. Fred Flintstone was 469 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:26,680 Speaker 1: a hard worker. Okay, so what do we so there? 470 00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:28,640 Speaker 1: We would just walk in there, say a few words 471 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:32,840 Speaker 1: and I don't start banging, start banging, we start banging. 472 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:34,960 Speaker 1: It's a good thing we didn't go into that room. 473 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:41,560 Speaker 1: That room was a different freend. Okay, I'm out of here. 474 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:47,680 Speaker 1: This is this has been sick fucking experience. I'm going. 475 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:53,800 Speaker 1: I'm going, I mean, actually, oh my god, we want 476 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,240 Speaker 1: to Tracy and I want to meet Mrs the durst 477 00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:58,760 Speaker 1: the widow. Well, I'll see you guys. I'm just missed 478 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:06,520 Speaker 1: now it's not married. Alright, fine, thank you? All right, 479 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:12,520 Speaker 1: Well this is this is not good and uh with 480 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:14,560 Speaker 1: the quarterlies, we can tell that there's going to be 481 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:18,760 Speaker 1: enough funds to put in another mallpipe on the other 482 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,560 Speaker 1: side of the building. Why is it called funds Because 483 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,440 Speaker 1: we're gonna have a good time. Let's not interrupt. So, uh, 484 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:27,760 Speaker 1: it's actually a good opportunity to take a pause in 485 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:31,240 Speaker 1: the meeting. Um My, first off, I want to just 486 00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:36,520 Speaker 1: say that there's a company wide loss with Fred and 487 00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:39,200 Speaker 1: I understand that we're all grieving in different ways and 488 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:43,520 Speaker 1: that's totally appropriate, but that grieving period should only be 489 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:48,640 Speaker 1: for twenty four hours. Question enough, Yeah, when is it 490 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:56,160 Speaker 1: appropriate to start banging the widow immediately? Thanks? So that's fun, right, 491 00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:00,760 Speaker 1: don't don't interrupt. Grieve us? Can I talk to all 492 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:09,480 Speaker 1: the griev us here, all the grieve us us. Grieve us. 493 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,600 Speaker 1: Your head out of your ash, She's saying, grieve us, 494 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,560 Speaker 1: the grieve us, the people who are grieving. To grieve 495 00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:16,880 Speaker 1: us people, Yes, please come on. So this is a 496 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:21,920 Speaker 1: sensitivity program here, y'all. We have brought in miss turn Berber, 497 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:24,400 Speaker 1: and she's going to be able to kind of help 498 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:28,560 Speaker 1: us through this moment. And I didn't even work with Fred. 499 00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:34,960 Speaker 1: Let her speak full. Sometimes you don't work with somebody 500 00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:37,480 Speaker 1: and you don't even know how much they've affected your 501 00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:41,400 Speaker 1: life until you lose them. That's not fun. And then 502 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:44,640 Speaker 1: you feel the whole and you can't even put your 503 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,800 Speaker 1: finger in it because you don't know where it is. 504 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:53,000 Speaker 1: Wait for it's on? I'm sorry, keep going, Okay, are 505 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:57,239 Speaker 1: you telling me to wait for the what? Alright? Alright, look, look, 506 00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,040 Speaker 1: why don't we just calm down? Obviously a lot of 507 00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:02,640 Speaker 1: grieving going on here. I'm not grieving. Everybody keeps saying 508 00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:07,680 Speaker 1: I'm grieving. I don't care, you don't care. I don't 509 00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:12,640 Speaker 1: even know who the guy was. Anger is a lot 510 00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:18,120 Speaker 1: of anger. A lot of people show their grieving through 511 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:24,040 Speaker 1: anger all day long. I have to deal with this 512 00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:29,280 Speaker 1: grieving period. I mean, if that's the kind of grieva 513 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,680 Speaker 1: that you are, then that's the kind of grieva that 514 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:35,439 Speaker 1: you are. You're the grieva that gets angry. Some other 515 00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:39,280 Speaker 1: people are grievas who get sad. Some griev us get hungry. 516 00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:45,520 Speaker 1: Some griev us. Get horny. He's coming through. Please coming through, 517 00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:53,160 Speaker 1: Please come through, Come through, police, coming through. Police. We're 518 00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:57,319 Speaker 1: looking for a Tracy and her closest pals here at 519 00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:05,520 Speaker 1: this office. Yeah, okay, what's right? They're here in the boardroom. 520 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,440 Speaker 1: Which one? Which one? Tracy? Raise your head for Tracy? 521 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,759 Speaker 1: Really short? Sorry? Okay? And who would you say your 522 00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:18,000 Speaker 1: two closest friends here? Um? Probably Bob and Leroy. Don't 523 00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:21,440 Speaker 1: say don't what do you mean what about me? I'm 524 00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:23,640 Speaker 1: not blaming anyone. I'm just saying I'm not one of 525 00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:28,080 Speaker 1: your closest friends friends. I wouldn't say the closest. All right, Listen, 526 00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:29,560 Speaker 1: what I'm trying to get out of here is we 527 00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:33,680 Speaker 1: found fingerprints all over a dead body. We also found 528 00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:40,160 Speaker 1: teeth impressions in the person's lower area. Um, we're gonna 529 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:41,759 Speaker 1: have to take you guys down to the station because 530 00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:46,080 Speaker 1: you are all being arrested from Sorry but doing Christopher walkin? 531 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:49,959 Speaker 1: What kind of you could do all the jokes you want? 532 00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:55,839 Speaker 1: In the hole? Fuck? Yeah, in the hole. All right, y'all, 533 00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:59,360 Speaker 1: welcome to the whole one of the premier present comedy 534 00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:04,960 Speaker 1: spots here in River County. So mixed up, we got 535 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:08,000 Speaker 1: a newcomer to the whole. She's fantastic. She's got a 536 00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:09,839 Speaker 1: lot of humor, a lot of edge, and a lot 537 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,120 Speaker 1: of light at the end of that tunnel. Uh serving 538 00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,279 Speaker 1: what is back to back life sentences? Let's give it 539 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:24,319 Speaker 1: up for Tracy Shittenhower dressing. Have you ever had a 540 00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:31,319 Speaker 1: dolphin fin in your mouth? Your mouth? Let me tell 541 00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,839 Speaker 1: you about a little bit about having a dolphin fin 542 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:42,799 Speaker 1: in your mouth? Okay, not as fun as you think 543 00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:49,480 Speaker 1: it is. Flipper. I should know because that's the jinga. 544 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:55,200 Speaker 1: That's a new catchphrase. How's it going, guys? Okay, so 545 00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:57,919 Speaker 1: it's great. Okay, So I'm gonna keep going for my set. Okay, 546 00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:02,479 Speaker 1: have you okay? So you're checking into this hotel room, sir, 547 00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:07,399 Speaker 1: you're looking lurch by the way. Um, I don't appreciate that. 548 00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:11,359 Speaker 1: It's the lack of sunlight. I work during the night 549 00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:17,239 Speaker 1: and sleep during the day. The room, Oh, it's just 550 00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:22,800 Speaker 1: the three of us. Make sure the rooms three of us? Yes, okay, 551 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:24,360 Speaker 1: of course the room is gonna have a window. What 552 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:28,400 Speaker 1: do you think was gonna just some rooms are subterranean 553 00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,640 Speaker 1: every time. She's right, She's right now, ma'am, Are you open? 554 00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:36,080 Speaker 1: She seemed to be upset. Oh yeah, I'm a little upset. 555 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:42,080 Speaker 1: My birthday party was ruined. Okay, God, it's not over yet. 556 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:45,799 Speaker 1: It's not over yet. No, it's over. It's been over. Okay, Well, 557 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:49,680 Speaker 1: here is this room? Does this room come with beef? 558 00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,680 Speaker 1: You wanted to beef room? I will. I assumed that 559 00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:57,759 Speaker 1: there was going to be beef in the room. This 560 00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,840 Speaker 1: this room does not have beef. I'm happy to give you. 561 00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:03,719 Speaker 1: Room one thirteen thirteen is the beef patty room. So 562 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:07,959 Speaker 1: you'll find patties underneath your pillows. Nice. So we only 563 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,200 Speaker 1: have two pillows, those two patties. There's three of you. 564 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:13,280 Speaker 1: I can get Patricia to bring you one more patty. 565 00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:19,279 Speaker 1: And Patricia, yeah, we're gonna need So we have two 566 00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:21,040 Speaker 1: patties and the two pillows. We're gonna need one more 567 00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:24,440 Speaker 1: patty that's already the are patricious. And then we need 568 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,240 Speaker 1: you to bring extra pillow, extra patty, extra pill extra patty, 569 00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:31,719 Speaker 1: but not a patty like Patricia. You gotta stop saying that. Also, 570 00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:34,840 Speaker 1: you don't know where you're going? Is room one thirteen? Oh? Okay, 571 00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:39,560 Speaker 1: other way way? Okay, So yeah, I'll be three patties, 572 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:43,279 Speaker 1: three pillows, one bed, one person who seems to be 573 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,759 Speaker 1: upset because of her birthday party. One guy looks like 574 00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:54,080 Speaker 1: Lurch dead. Oh are you Agreeva? And that's the same too. 575 00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:02,080 Speaker 1: C three comes of us from patron v I P. McCoy, 576 00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:06,040 Speaker 1: who wrote heylmniacs. I was listening to a recent episode 577 00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:10,160 Speaker 1: in which Chris relentlessly plugged his website, Chris dash Ovarado 578 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,920 Speaker 1: dot com. Like a good listener, I went to the website. 579 00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:15,920 Speaker 1: It was pleasantly surprised at how well the web page 580 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:21,880 Speaker 1: was designed. Really. Upon reading Chris's bio, however, I was 581 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,799 Speaker 1: taken aback. Chris had performed in a show with the 582 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:29,279 Speaker 1: Second City called date Me hashtag date Me. I had 583 00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:32,279 Speaker 1: to think about where I knew that name of that 584 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,040 Speaker 1: show from, but I figured it out. That was the 585 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:38,440 Speaker 1: show I saw with my first girlfriend on our last 586 00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:42,520 Speaker 1: date together. We had dinner, saw hilarious show, and then 587 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,759 Speaker 1: broke up about eleven o'clock that night. It was the 588 00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:50,239 Speaker 1: day after Valentine's But I digress from the fact that 589 00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:55,480 Speaker 1: Chris and my life are inexplicably interlinked. I have a 590 00:39:55,520 --> 00:40:01,200 Speaker 1: scene suggestion. You are settlers of Catan. Haven't played the game? 591 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:07,000 Speaker 1: I just played? It for the first time this weekend. Oh, 592 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:10,759 Speaker 1: we gotta play together. Parenthetically, he added, haven't played the game. 593 00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:16,520 Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. It's for nerds. Much love, He's right, 594 00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:21,040 Speaker 1: He's right, he's right. Much love and stay healthy, McCoy m. 595 00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:24,400 Speaker 1: I would just like to trade some of these bricks, 596 00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:28,560 Speaker 1: if you know. We don't need any more bricks. We 597 00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,600 Speaker 1: have the grain we need. We have sheep if you like, 598 00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:34,280 Speaker 1: and some wood we need to bricks, need those things. 599 00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,640 Speaker 1: I just need some grain. I have got bricks, these 600 00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:40,360 Speaker 1: bricks lit. We all know you, sir. You have the 601 00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:43,840 Speaker 1: longest road in this area. Okay, you don't need to 602 00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:48,560 Speaker 1: rub it in now. Next, who's gonna help next? Yeah? 603 00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:52,800 Speaker 1: I got some turn ups. I need to uh turns. 604 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:56,600 Speaker 1: This guy. This guy turn ups turps. We can help 605 00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:58,799 Speaker 1: you with wheat, we can help you with bricks, we 606 00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:00,600 Speaker 1: can help you with wood, and we can help you 607 00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:04,279 Speaker 1: with sheep and occasionally cold. Is that right? That's what 608 00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:08,240 Speaker 1: I meant cold, not turn ups? Is this? I got cold? Cold, cold, 609 00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:12,920 Speaker 1: cold congres Okay, okay, okay, you got cold here? And 610 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:19,680 Speaker 1: what do you want for it? Sheep? Okay, okay, I 611 00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:22,120 Speaker 1: think I do know what here? You go here to sheep. 612 00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:26,560 Speaker 1: Yeah that that coal? Is it cold stone? And perhaps 613 00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:30,360 Speaker 1: this this thing? Okay, great, you have a you have 614 00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:34,239 Speaker 1: a great day. Next next, I'm back up. Excuse me. 615 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,920 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I saw you didn't even I waited 616 00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,439 Speaker 1: in line and I got nothing from him. Okay, we're 617 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:45,640 Speaker 1: waiting on line to man, you had a deal. Get 618 00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:47,440 Speaker 1: out of here. Man, he didn't even know what he 619 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,440 Speaker 1: was trading for coals, turnips for what. I don't know. 620 00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:54,560 Speaker 1: I have these bricks were made by my family. Get 621 00:41:54,560 --> 00:42:03,120 Speaker 1: at next. Yes, um, I was gonna do a big 622 00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:11,000 Speaker 1: reveal and I feel like, now that's stupid. But basically, listen, 623 00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:16,440 Speaker 1: I'm I'm the FBI, and you've been busted. You've been 624 00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:18,920 Speaker 1: busted for doing a faulty deal. You know that this 625 00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:24,000 Speaker 1: town does not deal in coal stones. It's or sir. 626 00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:26,960 Speaker 1: That's the only tradeable good that we have here of 627 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:30,399 Speaker 1: that type in Catan. So if you're gonna be coming 628 00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,000 Speaker 1: and bringing coal and trying to make that a deal, 629 00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:36,760 Speaker 1: you just swindled that poor man out of lots of sheep. 630 00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:44,120 Speaker 1: Are you with the FBI? Good? No, there's been a 631 00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:48,120 Speaker 1: burglar coming to town every so often. He just locks 632 00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:51,680 Speaker 1: my whole property down. Could you you never respond to 633 00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:57,279 Speaker 1: my calls? Oh um, I'm so sorry. I actually just 634 00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:00,960 Speaker 1: recently changed my number, but just remember, yeah, let me 635 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,040 Speaker 1: get your numbers. How can I help you, sir? I'd 636 00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:10,440 Speaker 1: like to trade these um fully automatic weapons and anti 637 00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:16,800 Speaker 1: tank guns for maybe some week. Holy yes, yes, yes, 638 00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:24,200 Speaker 1: yes yes wow Holy Holy are heavy. Yeah they're made 639 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:28,239 Speaker 1: in uh they made a monopoly and you just want 640 00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:32,640 Speaker 1: some wheat for these? How many weeks? One week, two weeks, 641 00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:36,760 Speaker 1: three weeks. I'm looking at esterday's supply of four week. Okay, 642 00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:38,480 Speaker 1: I made four in a week. That would take all 643 00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:42,080 Speaker 1: the week we have in the shop here, sir, Look, 644 00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:47,160 Speaker 1: I'm giving you an arsenal to take over Katan. Okay, okay, okay. 645 00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,759 Speaker 1: Now listen that that person behind you over there talking 646 00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:52,640 Speaker 1: to gentlemen, she's an ABI agent. So we can keep 647 00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:54,560 Speaker 1: this on the low. Babe, Yes I am, and I 648 00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:56,680 Speaker 1: might have had my back turned, but I've been listening 649 00:43:56,760 --> 00:44:00,360 Speaker 1: this whole time. You've been double busted. But can I 650 00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:04,640 Speaker 1: just say your reveals reveal wonder reveal too very soft. 651 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,440 Speaker 1: I understand that, and it's something that I personally need 652 00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:11,520 Speaker 1: to work on. I feel like the first reveal agent 653 00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:15,440 Speaker 1: Menendez getting my goddamn office. Yes, okay, what the hell 654 00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:17,400 Speaker 1: is this? I sent you to Content, which was a 655 00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:21,279 Speaker 1: big expense on the FBI. That's another goddamn country we're 656 00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:24,000 Speaker 1: sending you to, all right, and you're telling me you've 657 00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:29,640 Speaker 1: got two major busts. You're gonna do two big busts bust. 658 00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:32,719 Speaker 1: I trusted you. I didn't even ask what those buscks were, 659 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:34,640 Speaker 1: and I knew that you were going to find out 660 00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:36,919 Speaker 1: what those busts we're gonna be when you got there. 661 00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:40,000 Speaker 1: All right, I trust your instincts. Well, here I did 662 00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:44,719 Speaker 1: get a double bust. There's no rests. You just came 663 00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:46,640 Speaker 1: over here and started bragging about you told people they 664 00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,319 Speaker 1: were busted, and then you immediately got on a boat 665 00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:54,200 Speaker 1: and you came back. I don't understand, agent, Agent, we're 666 00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:56,640 Speaker 1: going out for talking Tuesday. Did you want anything? Um 667 00:44:56,719 --> 00:45:01,360 Speaker 1: carne asada uh to Carneta's uh three being burritos and 668 00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:07,920 Speaker 1: aside of right, I couldn't eat anything in Catan. I 669 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:12,759 Speaker 1: was talking to Asian cauliflower actually, but sure, and be 670 00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:20,160 Speaker 1: happy to get those items for you. Agent. I'm here 671 00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:24,959 Speaker 1: to lock up your land. Nothing's coming night. I listen 672 00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,320 Speaker 1: to you, son, of a bitch. I've already called the FBI. 673 00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,200 Speaker 1: They're probably watching. I wouldn't be surprised if this place 674 00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:33,640 Speaker 1: is being cased right now, Burglar, the only thing you 675 00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:35,840 Speaker 1: can do against me is rolling a sad and motherfucker. 676 00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:40,640 Speaker 1: I don't think you have it in you. No, you 677 00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:44,520 Speaker 1: don't think I do well. I'm married, lucky, My wife's 678 00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:48,680 Speaker 1: a lucky lady. Hold on a second, she's gonna roll 679 00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:58,399 Speaker 1: for me. The burglars back. I'm gonna leave you. No, no, no, no, 680 00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:00,600 Speaker 1: don't you go anywhere. You sign up a bit. Wait, 681 00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:05,319 Speaker 1: come on, I need you to roll a seven. You 682 00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:07,560 Speaker 1: want me to rosa seven? You couldn't even sell the bricks. 683 00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:11,279 Speaker 1: Come on, please please roll a seven. The burglars here, 684 00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:13,080 Speaker 1: and if we just get shut down one time, our 685 00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:16,120 Speaker 1: kids are gonna eat. Dude, gives us it about the burglar. 686 00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:19,880 Speaker 1: If you get Southern Brooks, what doesn't matter. We're lockdown. Please. 687 00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:26,080 Speaker 1: This is the father of my children. This is the 688 00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:29,680 Speaker 1: father of my children. This I would we just they 689 00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:31,759 Speaker 1: wouldn't give us any more weed. I don't know what 690 00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,040 Speaker 1: to tell you. It's because we keep getting locked down 691 00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,160 Speaker 1: by the burglar. You won't do nothing. I just need 692 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:40,440 Speaker 1: one of those lucky seven. Wow, what a beautiful port 693 00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:46,279 Speaker 1: area you have here, sir? Why thank you? Tons of 694 00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:50,960 Speaker 1: goods come in? I imagine, oh tons is an appropriate description. 695 00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:54,440 Speaker 1: How men I help you? I was thinking of buying 696 00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:57,880 Speaker 1: this property, perhaps turning this small development into a large city. 697 00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:03,359 Speaker 1: Keep talking. Oh okay, well no that's about it. It's 698 00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:07,240 Speaker 1: all I a. Are you interested in turning this small 699 00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:10,120 Speaker 1: settlement into a large city? What do you have to 700 00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:15,920 Speaker 1: offer in exchange? What do I have to offer one 701 00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:28,359 Speaker 1: of the christ Oh? Um, excuse me, sir, sir with 702 00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:31,960 Speaker 1: the with the semi automatic. Yes, I just wanted to 703 00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:35,160 Speaker 1: let you know that. Um, I've been actually here in 704 00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:38,600 Speaker 1: this gilly suit and uh, I'm a part of the FBI, 705 00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:43,560 Speaker 1: and sir, you've been You've been busted like you hit 706 00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:47,200 Speaker 1: that you hit the emphasis the wrong part of the sentence. 707 00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:53,239 Speaker 1: Um yeah, maybe maybe maybe I did. Uh, But regardless, 708 00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:56,520 Speaker 1: you know, regardless, that's a big bust. That's a big 709 00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:58,480 Speaker 1: old bus on you. You can't just get you can't 710 00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:01,759 Speaker 1: get louder. Now if feels like he came in solid 711 00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:07,000 Speaker 1: because I'm busting you, Okay, busting isn't just hold on? 712 00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:13,040 Speaker 1: Don want O where and now? I've got a visual 713 00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:19,319 Speaker 1: on this homicide as well. See that's another boss, that's yeah. Man, 714 00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:21,200 Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell you. You You know, marriage 715 00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:24,799 Speaker 1: is hard, and you know sometimes you know, fights are inevitable. 716 00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:27,560 Speaker 1: But I don't know what to tell you. I can't 717 00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:29,719 Speaker 1: trade those bricks for anything, man, I have enough bricks 718 00:48:29,719 --> 00:48:33,840 Speaker 1: of my own, so you don't understand I need to 719 00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:36,759 Speaker 1: unload some of these bricks. Look at this, Look at 720 00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:39,839 Speaker 1: this is reddit solid. They're heavy. They're like, yeah, yeah, no, 721 00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:43,480 Speaker 1: I mean I got my own. I'll trade with anything. 722 00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:45,680 Speaker 1: What else do you got? Like? What what do you have? 723 00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:52,000 Speaker 1: Extra brick? I don't can't if I show back up 724 00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:54,840 Speaker 1: home with bricks, like just what do you want? I 725 00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:56,719 Speaker 1: can't give handouts, man, I'm trying to. I'm trying to 726 00:48:56,719 --> 00:49:00,319 Speaker 1: get my own victor points three bricks for every one 727 00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:07,920 Speaker 1: blade wheet. Please don't make me leave here without just 728 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:11,600 Speaker 1: like one bustle of wheat. All right, look, let's let 729 00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:15,440 Speaker 1: let's let this out this without I'll give you one week, Okay. 730 00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:20,239 Speaker 1: I don't want to I don't want any break, Okay, Okay, 731 00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:25,600 Speaker 1: I um, I do want you to do me a favor, Okay, yeah, sure, absolutely, 732 00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:28,640 Speaker 1: thank you so much, thank you so much. I'm sorry. 733 00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:31,560 Speaker 1: I want you to tell your wife you love her. Oh, 734 00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:36,160 Speaker 1: because I m I had a couple of I had 735 00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:39,800 Speaker 1: a about two hundred wives, had a lot of wives, 736 00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:43,239 Speaker 1: and every time I had a wife, I, UM, I 737 00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:46,240 Speaker 1: always say I like you. I wouldn't say I love you. Okay, 738 00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:49,080 Speaker 1: Well we've always I've always told her. I was always 739 00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:50,879 Speaker 1: something that was always weighing at me that I never 740 00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:54,320 Speaker 1: I never told one of my two wives that I 741 00:49:54,360 --> 00:50:00,560 Speaker 1: love Chief Callahan. I just want to report you that 742 00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:03,799 Speaker 1: UM I have made another bust. And yes it was 743 00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:09,920 Speaker 1: another double bust, UM for acquiring holding UM many semi 744 00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:14,680 Speaker 1: automatic illegal weapons and then also homicide. UM I didn't 745 00:50:14,719 --> 00:50:18,200 Speaker 1: make the arrest this time, but I did get his 746 00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:22,719 Speaker 1: number and he swears that he will call me. That 747 00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:25,759 Speaker 1: I've been calling him. He told me he'd be calling 748 00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:31,040 Speaker 1: me back anytime soon. He's been texting back. Sorry, you 749 00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:33,960 Speaker 1: want some water. My throat gets really dry when I 750 00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:38,359 Speaker 1: get nervous. But I actually prefer to power through. UM. 751 00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:43,120 Speaker 1: So sorry, UM So, I just want to let you know, 752 00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:46,600 Speaker 1: take some just take someone. It's really it's better if 753 00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:51,360 Speaker 1: I power through. So anyways, So I just want to 754 00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:53,440 Speaker 1: let you know, like I'm working on it and I'm improving, 755 00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:58,040 Speaker 1: and that it is for drying you out. Don't eat 756 00:50:58,200 --> 00:51:00,680 Speaker 1: someone's going to I didn't eat chips so much as 757 00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:05,120 Speaker 1: I swallowed chips whole um. Sometimes I like to work 758 00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:08,239 Speaker 1: on my esophageal muscles, and the only way you can 759 00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:09,840 Speaker 1: do that is by putting a whole chip in and 760 00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:14,880 Speaker 1: just crushing it with your own throat um. People of Carton, 761 00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:20,320 Speaker 1: please exit your homes and meet me in the town square. 762 00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:25,000 Speaker 1: Every won't take any everyone, just you, but everybody come out? Everyone' 763 00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:29,200 Speaker 1: take any everybody? Everybody this guy again? Okay, everybody, come 764 00:51:29,239 --> 00:51:33,160 Speaker 1: on up, come on out, take any everybody going? Well, 765 00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:35,600 Speaker 1: not a lot of you came out. That's okay, it's okay. 766 00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:38,440 Speaker 1: Those of you who did. You are in for some 767 00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:45,160 Speaker 1: news that will change your lives. Am I blind? Am 768 00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:49,480 Speaker 1: I blind? What is that? Am I blind? Are you 769 00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:53,480 Speaker 1: going to eat my feet? Wait? Just be honest. Do 770 00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:56,680 Speaker 1: I need to prepare to have a life without feet? Oh? God? 771 00:51:56,719 --> 00:52:00,239 Speaker 1: Are you gonna eat your feet? Is he blind? Am 772 00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:04,400 Speaker 1: I blind? Am I getting my old legs back? What 773 00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:08,439 Speaker 1: happened to his legs? How many wishes do we get? 774 00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:13,319 Speaker 1: Do you not see dolphin's O God, I'm just trying 775 00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:19,040 Speaker 1: to make an announcement here. What's up? The announcement is 776 00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:24,759 Speaker 1: Cantan has been taken over? What what are they saying? What? 777 00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:39,919 Speaker 1: Time make sense? What? We are good people trading goods services? 778 00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:45,000 Speaker 1: Is that your strong? What? But a new man has approached, 779 00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:55,880 Speaker 1: A dark man has approached, an evil man. He has weapons, weapons, 780 00:52:56,520 --> 00:53:03,719 Speaker 1: destroy your homes? Is it weekends? Why your lives? Um? 781 00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:07,160 Speaker 1: The burglar actually never has anything that he uses against me. 782 00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:09,440 Speaker 1: I just take him for his word that he is 783 00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:13,000 Speaker 1: locking me down. Are you talking about the burglar? I 784 00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:23,560 Speaker 1: am not someone much worse worse burl Okay, you're blind 785 00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:34,239 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna eat your feet. Oh sir, sirs, open 786 00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:42,759 Speaker 1: your eye. That's our show for today, hotly Toledo. Oh man. 787 00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:47,960 Speaker 1: I want to thank all of our crazy, brilliant alchemists, 788 00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:51,239 Speaker 1: starting with Jackie Jackies, thank you so much for coming 789 00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:55,640 Speaker 1: back to How can folks find your incredible videos on Instagram? 790 00:53:55,880 --> 00:54:01,480 Speaker 1: Please spell it out for us? Yes, I am at Jackie, 791 00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:04,440 Speaker 1: j A. C K I E. D. Ruthy Diaz and 792 00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:08,759 Speaker 1: dog you are r U T h Y. I don't 793 00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:12,920 Speaker 1: believe there are many many out there right, but Chris 794 00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:18,640 Speaker 1: av Verado emails me, I think every second third day 795 00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:21,319 Speaker 1: of each month to tell me to go check out 796 00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:22,759 Speaker 1: the video. So I don't know if you're putting them 797 00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:25,720 Speaker 1: up early in the month or what. But oh, they're 798 00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:30,040 Speaker 1: very random. So if you want consistency, mine's not the place, 799 00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:33,200 Speaker 1: but it's probably maybe. I mean, hey, you never know. 800 00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:35,879 Speaker 1: Maybe once a week, maybe once a week, there's something fun. 801 00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:38,560 Speaker 1: I can't make that promise though, all right, no promise, 802 00:54:38,560 --> 00:54:40,719 Speaker 1: there's no threats. But thank you again for joining us, 803 00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:43,520 Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. Chris av Verado, bless you, 804 00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:47,880 Speaker 1: bless less it be your name, sir. Yeah, and the 805 00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:51,839 Speaker 1: surfing is coming along, surfings coming along. Anybody out there 806 00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:54,319 Speaker 1: has some real tubular tips. I'd love to hear them. 807 00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:57,799 Speaker 1: Be sure to check out Jackie's Ruthy's instagram for for 808 00:54:58,160 --> 00:54:59,920 Speaker 1: videos that come out every now and then. But listen, 809 00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:02,839 Speaker 1: here's the deal on the and yes, nobody knows it's 810 00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:06,719 Speaker 1: more than us. We are in a content creating culture. Yes, 811 00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:10,080 Speaker 1: it's the triple suits. You gotta create content in this culture. 812 00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:12,160 Speaker 1: And my girl is doing it. She's not my goos. 813 00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:15,680 Speaker 1: My friend Jackie's doing it. James Heaney is doing it 814 00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:18,600 Speaker 1: doing it. Joey Greer is doing it. You guys are 815 00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:21,640 Speaker 1: making the ship happen now. If you want to see 816 00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:25,560 Speaker 1: all that stuff and more, go to Chris Desk dot 817 00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:30,399 Speaker 1: com your website, Chris. You can get the A Good 818 00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:34,000 Speaker 1: Night album on my website. Get all my album. You 819 00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:37,200 Speaker 1: can all get Naked News with James all on my website, 820 00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:41,360 Speaker 1: Jackie Ruthie, I own that name, Chris Dashoper dot com. 821 00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:43,240 Speaker 1: I give the rest of my time up to you, Kevin. 822 00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:47,680 Speaker 1: Also of forty seven of the films I've done are 823 00:55:47,680 --> 00:55:55,040 Speaker 1: available at Chris which which would make what is that's 824 00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:59,560 Speaker 1: it's technically half Joey Garris, thank you so much for 825 00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:03,400 Speaker 1: being here. Thank you for having me. Uh and go 826 00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:10,000 Speaker 1: to Chris dash Alvarado dot com. That's so James John Ollheney, 827 00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:13,040 Speaker 1: thank you, pal Well. I wouldn't be surprised if I'm 828 00:56:13,080 --> 00:56:15,560 Speaker 1: Chris dash Alvarado dot com. There was a link to 829 00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:18,759 Speaker 1: the Instagram the alchemy this does. There's been a lot 830 00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:22,600 Speaker 1: of live Instagram events going they've been keep them up. Please, 831 00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:25,600 Speaker 1: let's get big shout out thanks to the engineer of 832 00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:29,840 Speaker 1: the stars and our producer to Dug Bean. Fine folks 833 00:56:29,840 --> 00:56:35,240 Speaker 1: that I hurt media. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock, thanking 834 00:56:35,360 --> 00:56:38,280 Speaker 1: each and every damn one of you. Please keep writing 835 00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:41,480 Speaker 1: to us. I apologize for the tardiness and replying to 836 00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:45,920 Speaker 1: the emails. They are greatly appreciated. I'm I'm, I'm a 837 00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:49,920 Speaker 1: person of one in this effort, and James has refused 838 00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:52,040 Speaker 1: to help out, so I'm doing the best I can. 839 00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:55,920 Speaker 1: Please keep writing. We love your scene suggestions on your comments, 840 00:56:56,440 --> 00:56:58,719 Speaker 1: and thank you for that. Be kind to each other 841 00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:33,920 Speaker 1: where a damn mask. Please until next time, Oh my one,