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Speaker 1: The Bread Show is on. It's stay or go. Hi

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Speaker 1: Zandras here, Hi Xander, good morning, Hi, Good morning, Xandra.

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Speaker 1: Tell us what's going on, because obviously you would call

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Speaker 1: us to get our opinion on what's happening in your life.

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Speaker 1: What's going on with your boyfriend? We're all ears.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I am calling for advice. I just kind

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Speaker 2: of need a different perspective.

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Speaker 3: I guess.

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Speaker 1: Oh, we'll give you that. Don't worry, we'll give you

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Speaker 1: a seven or eight different perspective. Go ahead, please tell

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Speaker 1: us what's going on.

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Speaker 2: Sure, So recently, me and my boyfriend, we've just for contacts,

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Speaker 2: been together about a year. We got into a pretty

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Speaker 2: big fight, but we ended up making up like a

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Speaker 2: few days later, so that was fine.

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Speaker 3: But about a month or so after the fight, and this.

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Speaker 2: Was recently, I went through his phone, which I, you know,

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Speaker 2: to my better judgment, I guess it's I know, it's

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Speaker 2: like always a dangerous.

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Speaker 1: Thing talking about this. If you're looking for something, you're

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Speaker 1: gonna find it. What did you find? What did you find?

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Speaker 2: I ended up finding a conversation with him and his friends.

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Speaker 2: And it was during this whole fight that we were having,

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Speaker 2: and what he was saying to them.

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Speaker 3: I thought was really shocking. He was calling me names

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Speaker 3: like like the B word. You know, I can't. I

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Speaker 3: don't think I can say things on the radio.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we's just to be safe. Let's just not say so.

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Speaker 1: He was having a private conversation with what a friend

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Speaker 1: of his? Who was he saying these things.

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Speaker 3: To Yeah, to his friends and.

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Speaker 1: Multiple or was it a group chat or was it one?

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just trying to get an idea here

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Speaker 1: for like, how how widespread these comments were received.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I was a group chat with him and his bro.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so he's venting and he's calling you names, and

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Speaker 1: you read this, and this was a month ago or

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Speaker 1: so that this all happened, and since that, if you

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Speaker 1: and again i'm not gaslighting you here, I'm just you,

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Speaker 1: if you hadn't read these text messages, then in your

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Speaker 1: mind this problem was done and resolved and you were

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Speaker 1: satisfied with where you guys were today or yesterday or

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Speaker 1: whenever before you read them, right, Okay, so you read

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Speaker 1: these things and you're upset by the comments, and then

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Speaker 1: what do you do? Well?

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Speaker 3: I was devastated, Like I.

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Speaker 2: Ended up confronting him, and then he got upset, and

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Speaker 2: he said, oh, it's my fault because I never should

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Speaker 2: have gone through his phone. And I said, well, it

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Speaker 2: is your fault what you said, you know, And then

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Speaker 2: he told me that he was just heated and he

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Speaker 2: was venting to his friends and he didn't mean anything.

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Speaker 2: He wasn't actually thinking those things, you know.

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Speaker 3: All the all the stuff.

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Speaker 1: So now you're wondering how to deal with that because

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Speaker 1: you're not what you didn't think that he had it

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Speaker 1: in him to call you those names, or or you

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Speaker 1: think that it's a bad sign. I'm just trying to understand.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you're you're hurt by those words that he used.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and he was saying really nasty things, like he

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Speaker 2: was saying that he never should have dated me in

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Speaker 2: the first, you know, things that make me really question now,

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Speaker 2: like I would never even think those things about him,

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Speaker 2: let alone say them, you know.

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Speaker 3: And now I'm like, I don't know, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'd love to know what people have to thay,

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Speaker 1: obviously in this room, but at eight five five, five

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Speaker 1: nine one three five. In fact, we're going to debate

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Speaker 1: this right now and have your radio on your iHeart app,

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Speaker 1: and we're gonna talk about you behind your back. Okay,

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Speaker 1: but now we debate. So you told us a story,

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Speaker 1: Now we debate. But hey, good luck and I hope

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Speaker 1: this all works out for you. Okay, do did anyone

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Speaker 1: else have any questions?

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Speaker 4: I have that question for her? Does he call you

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Speaker 4: names like that to your face? Like during the argument?

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Speaker 1: Okay, so he's kind of quiet. So this guy's known

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Speaker 1: to be a decent human being, Like he's not mistreating you.

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Speaker 1: He's not. He's kind to you for the most part.

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Speaker 1: I mean, people have disagreements and squabbles and whatever else,

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Speaker 1: but like you guys are able to fight in a

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Speaker 1: healthy way and and then heal from it. It sounds

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Speaker 1: like it. It's not like everything was okay until you

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Speaker 1: read these text messages, right right?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Do you now one more question? Do you do you

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Speaker 1: stand by you're just I mean maybe you do now,

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Speaker 1: but if you're able to be objective, do you stand

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Speaker 1: by your decision to go through his phone to do

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Speaker 1: you know? Because in some ways I'm not excusing what

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Speaker 1: he said to you, but like a phone can be

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Speaker 1: an extension of like your brain sometimes, right, Like there's

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Speaker 1: stuff that I've surged and stuff that I've said and

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Speaker 1: you know whatever that I probably wouldn't say out loud.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of like an inner monologue just because I

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Speaker 1: think those things are because I vent and get them

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Speaker 1: off my chest to someone who's not you, who I trust,

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Speaker 1: who's also another woman, or you know, a bunch of

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Speaker 1: other areas that would be sort of gray areas at best.

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Speaker 1: Does that make me a bad person or does that

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Speaker 1: just make me a human? You know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Like he wanted to get these things off its chest.

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Speaker 1: They were mean things. People say mean things when they're

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Speaker 1: angry that they don't mean. I would say that His

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Speaker 1: response you probably should have been I was really angry

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Speaker 1: and I said a bunch of stuff I don't mean,

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Speaker 1: and I'm sorry. But he was probably more focused on

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Speaker 1: the fact that you went through his phone behind his

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Speaker 1: back and found this stuff, which is an invasion of

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Speaker 1: privacy and fairness. Now again, you found it, so I

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Speaker 1: guess it can be addressed. But I mean, you never

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Speaker 1: would have known this happened, and you just said that

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Speaker 1: you don't have any sort of character issue with this guy.

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Speaker 1: So what if he'd said those things and you never

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Speaker 1: you never knew about it, then you just move on

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Speaker 1: with your life. And everything's okay, right, Well, yeah, because.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't have known.

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Speaker 2: But I mean, I want to know the truth about

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Speaker 2: what my boyfriend thinks about me.

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Speaker 1: But argument, you've never said anything in a heated argument.

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Speaker 1: I'm not defending him saying derogatory things about you. I'm not.

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Speaker 1: But what I am defending is people's right to get

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Speaker 1: angry and react. And it doesn't make their reaction right,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't make the words right. But he should have

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Speaker 1: apologized again though the only reason you know is because

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Speaker 1: you kind of betrayed him and again, not gaslighting you,

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Speaker 1: but like that shouldn't have happened either. That's an invasion

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Speaker 1: of privacy. I should have a right to event to

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Speaker 1: my friends and work through an issue, because in some

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Speaker 1: ways that's healthy, right, because then you're getting that stuff

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Speaker 1: off your chest, you're not directing it at the person

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Speaker 1: you're angry with, and then you go solve the problem,

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Speaker 1: which it sounds like they were able to do and

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Speaker 1: communicate and move forward in a healthy way. You cannot

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Speaker 1: tell me people in this room, people calling you. Cannot

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Speaker 1: tell me that you have not said something about someone

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Speaker 1: else to someone else and then realize after the fact

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Speaker 1: that should I never would have said that to that person.

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Speaker 1: I shouldn't have said it at all. Yeah, I'm the

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Speaker 1: queen of low blows.

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Speaker 5: You guys know that, so I might have to say

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Speaker 5: this one out. But I feel like as long as

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Speaker 5: he apologizes and owns it and says, like, listen, I'm

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Speaker 5: sorry that I said that, and he doesn't do it again,

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Speaker 5: I think that's where I'm at because I think if

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Speaker 5: you're really sorry, then you're going to change your behavior.

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Speaker 5: I'm going through the phone. I'm not mad at that.

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Speaker 5: I know that's really unpopular. I'm not mad at that idea.

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Speaker 5: I know, I know you hate it. I don't hate it,

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Speaker 5: And don't people have a right to be angry and

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Speaker 5: say things they don't mean? And again, yeah, I don't

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Speaker 5: know this guy, and I wasn't there for that. I

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Speaker 5: wasn't there for the confrontation, Sandra. But do you think

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Speaker 5: maybe he was just more stunned that he was caught

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Speaker 5: because you went through his stuff without him knowing.

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Speaker 1: Do you think maybe he would have apologized if he

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Speaker 1: if you had found out a different way.

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Speaker 3: I mean, how else would I have found out?

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Speaker 1: Well, okay, and do you think the relationship would have

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Speaker 1: suffered or would you have thought anything differently of him

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Speaker 1: if you didn't know that he said those things? Probably not.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I would have been living in blissful ignorance,

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Speaker 2: like if I didn't know this. But the fact of

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Speaker 2: the matter is, like we could say all day long,

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Speaker 2: oh what.

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Speaker 3: If this with this? But this is a situation.

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Speaker 1: But people have a right to scrubbed, don't they. Yes,

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Speaker 1: But and self correct.

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Speaker 4: I think the issue is more so like, you're disrespecting

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Speaker 4: me to another group of people, Like I would almost

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Speaker 4: prefer that he had said this in the argument to

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Speaker 4: her and they could have worked out their issues there.

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Speaker 4: But you're literally disrespecting me to a whole other group

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Speaker 4: of people, taking our fight to a whole other level,

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Speaker 4: involving other people, and you're feeling this way about me.

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Speaker 4: I'm your partner, I'm your spouse. You should be able

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Speaker 4: to get that off your chest to me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but there's in any relationship, there's a certain group

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Speaker 1: of people on my side and her side that I

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Speaker 1: just assume when things aren't going well, that there's communication

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Speaker 1: going on there. And in fact, in some ways I

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Speaker 1: might argue beyond even what he said and the fact

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Speaker 1: that she found it I would I might argue that

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Speaker 1: it's it might be unfair for him to say a

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Speaker 1: lot of these things if he expects the relationship to

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Speaker 1: be resolved, because depending on the depth of what he said.

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Speaker 1: Now these people you know now that have gotten back together,

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Speaker 1: are things are working out and now everyone's going to

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Speaker 1: get together again, and like people are, you know, their

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Speaker 1: thoughts are clouded, which is why it can be tough

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Speaker 1: to really go in on the person you're dating with

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Speaker 1: friends because like maybe your version, your heated version, your

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Speaker 1: emotional version, is not exactly how it happened, and you're

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Speaker 1: getting it off your chest and you're feeling better and

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Speaker 1: you're venting. But then whatever you said is now something

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Speaker 1: that weighs on people's minds. And then when you call

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Speaker 1: them and go I got back together with them, now

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Speaker 1: they're thinking only of the I don't know. It can

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Speaker 1: be convoluted. But at the same time, who else do

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Speaker 1: you go to? Who else do you go? You have

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Speaker 1: a right to communicate to other people in a way

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Speaker 1: that can be forgiven.

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Speaker 4: You have a right, but now you've tainted our relationship

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Speaker 4: to everybody else.

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Speaker 1: And the same way you just explained, like with.

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Speaker 4: My brothers, I don't go to them about every time

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Speaker 4: Big Tim pisss me off, because they're not going to

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Speaker 4: forget that me and have to be fine in five minutes.

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Speaker 1: You're not going to forget. I don't go to my

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Speaker 1: sister either, But I do have friends that have heard everything,

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Speaker 1: and I know those people. I know who to go to,

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Speaker 1: and they're able to moderate. Those people are able to

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Speaker 1: go okay, because look, I've got buddies who have vented

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Speaker 1: about their wives to me, and I'm friends with their wives.

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Speaker 1: But I'm able to stay in my mind, Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: you were my friend first, and you're upset, and so

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna hear you because you want to be

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Speaker 1: heard right now. I'm not internalizing that, and I think

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Speaker 1: you know. They the next day they wake up, or

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Speaker 1: two days later, a week or a month, they go,

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Speaker 1: I don't feel that way anymore, and then they're able

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Speaker 1: to communicate in a helpful way because they got it

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Speaker 1: off their chest.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: But as your partner, if I see this communication, then

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Speaker 4: now my feelings have changed towards you, because now I

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Speaker 4: feel betray You're having this discussion with somebody else about

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Speaker 4: our relationship when you haven't even approached me that way.

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Speaker 1: Fair enough, fair enough, Exandra, all right, now I'm going

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Speaker 1: to let you go have a great morning, and thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for calling. Good luck.

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Speaker 3: Thank you. I appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, Jay, what do you think.

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Speaker 7: I don't like going through the phone, that is, not

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Speaker 7: unless I need to do unblock myself.

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Speaker 1: But because she wouldn't have known about this, and she

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Speaker 1: admitted that this sort of stuff does not permeate into

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Speaker 1: their relationship. It's not like he's calling her names and

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Speaker 1: abusing her and being admits that that's not how he operates.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I don't know. I'm very big on like, I'm

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Speaker 7: very open. I have to talk things out. So like

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Speaker 7: everyone around me, like I'm sure you've heard me say

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Speaker 7: things about Mike and I get into an argument or whatever,

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Speaker 7: it's not really fair because I think it does change

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Speaker 7: your view of him. But I also think like people

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Speaker 7: that really know me know, like like you said, Fred,

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Speaker 7: like I'm angry. I'm just like you know, I wouldn't

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Speaker 7: stay with someone if he was like fundamentally a bad person, right,

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Speaker 7: So like, I don't know, but it is unfair to

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Speaker 7: the other person. So I see your point, Kiki, where

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Speaker 7: it's like you know, it's not fair to bring other

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Speaker 7: people in and they're looking at you all crazy, because

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Speaker 7: like Mike and I went through a very hard time

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Speaker 7: and I never thought my parents were ever going to

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Speaker 7: like forgive him, Like I thought it was like a

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Speaker 7: done relationship with them, and and you know, we worked

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Speaker 7: through it, talked through it.

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Speaker 1: They're good.

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Speaker 7: But like you know, it's times like that where it's

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Speaker 7: like they it could have went the other way, and

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Speaker 7: now you're tarnishing how your significant other looks to people

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Speaker 7: that are important to you.

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Speaker 1: So that's a very slip. There are a ton of

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Speaker 1: variables here, but I will I think I've pointed most

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Speaker 1: of them out. But I also I think you're right

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Speaker 1: about the parents. Like once my mom has made a decision,

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Speaker 1: once I've involved her in something bad and she's made

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Speaker 1: a decision, it is admittedly going to be very difficult,

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Speaker 1: which is why I don't involve certain people in my

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Speaker 1: life unless I'm very positive about the way that I feel,

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Speaker 1: because you know, my mom and my sister are not

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Speaker 1: people to flippantly vent to because they're just not because

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Speaker 1: they're not going to forget. But some of my friends are.

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Speaker 1: They can hear it and go okay, all right, And

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Speaker 1: then if I make the judgment call to then go

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Speaker 1: back to that person or forgive them or work it out, well,

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Speaker 1: then they do too because I did. Now, there's only

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Speaker 1: so many times you can do that, and when it

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Speaker 1: starts to get into really abusive stuff or really really

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Speaker 1: bad stuff, I think there is an expiration day on

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Speaker 1: people's patients. But like you have a right to vent,

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Speaker 1: you have a right to say things you don't mean

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Speaker 1: and say that you're sorry. Hey, Veronica, good morning. What

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Speaker 1: do you think?

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Speaker 3: Good morning?

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Speaker 8: I am coming from a sentiment of place.

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Speaker 9: Now.

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Speaker 8: I was married for twenty years to my late husband.

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Speaker 8: We lost him in twenty nineteen. Yeah, he's battling cancer.

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Speaker 8: But we were together through our high school years. We

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Speaker 8: got married I was twenty three, and so I'm very

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Speaker 8: well versed in this type of situation. There were a

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Speaker 8: lot of things that I would vent to my sister,

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Speaker 8: to my friends about during an argument that I would

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Speaker 8: never say or.

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Speaker 3: Disrespect him to his face.

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Speaker 8: Did I really mean them at the time, Maybe, but

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Speaker 8: I wouldn't. I didn't really mean them, Like I didn't

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Speaker 8: really hate him.

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Speaker 1: I didn't really you know.

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Speaker 8: The things that I would say to my sister or

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Speaker 8: my friends are not things that I would typically say

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Speaker 8: to his face. And then like we always had healthy arguments.

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Speaker 8: We never you know, he was never abusive. He never

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Speaker 8: called me out of my name to my face, at

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Speaker 8: least that I know of. But I mean, I did

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Speaker 8: that and I didn't really mean that. And it's like,

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Speaker 8: I would never tell this girl. I would tell this

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Speaker 8: girl that it's you know you said, Fred, you have

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Speaker 8: a right to vent? And did she have a right

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Speaker 8: to go through this phone?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 8: I never, ever, in the twenty years that my husband

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Speaker 8: and I were married, I never he never gave me

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Speaker 8: the reason to have to go through his phone because,

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Speaker 8: like she said, he doesn't disrespect her to her face.

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Speaker 8: He doesn't like abuse her and.

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Speaker 3: Do stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: But maybe quietly.

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Speaker 8: He did to his friends, but I never knew about it,

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Speaker 8: and it was okay because I did it too. So

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Speaker 8: I think, like you said, Fred, I think a lot

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Speaker 8: of people they have the right to vent. And do

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Speaker 8: you really mean those things.

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Speaker 1: Maybe in the moment, in.

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Speaker 8: The heat of the moment, yeah, but I would never

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Speaker 8: ever do that to his face.

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Speaker 3: And I think she's she's.

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Speaker 8: Not overreacting, but she had a right to feel the

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Speaker 8: way she does. But I'm telling you, coming from the

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Speaker 8: place that I've been and losing my husband, I would

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Speaker 8: I just wish couples would be more forgiving and not

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Speaker 8: so quick to just call it quits all the time nowadays.

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Speaker 1: You know, Vernica well said, thank you, have a great

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Speaker 1: day here too. There are just so few circumstances where

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Speaker 1: I think going through the phone is a good idea.

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Speaker 1: I mean, and yeah, you know, there's what do they

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Speaker 1: call that of the term right now, but it's like

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Speaker 1: you were looking for something, you found it, so you

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Speaker 1: feel justified, and it's like, okay, was a confirmation bias.

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Speaker 1: It's I don't know. There's so few circumstances where I

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Speaker 1: think you are justified in going through people's stuff behind

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Speaker 1: their back. And again, I know people who are like, well,

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Speaker 1: I did it and I found out he was cheating

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Speaker 1: or I found out she was cheating, So I'm justified maybe,

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Speaker 1: But how about all the times that people do it,

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Speaker 1: they don't find anything, or they find something benign, or

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Speaker 1: they find something that they didn't need to. I mean,

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Speaker 1: trust me, I've had conversations about loved ones to people,

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Speaker 1: and I've said things that I regret saying and that

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Speaker 1: I would never say if I weren't angry, but I'd

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Speaker 1: rather say it to someone else and have them go

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Speaker 1: all right, now, let's like, Okay, you said it, now,

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Speaker 1: let's talk about it. Then say it to the person,

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Speaker 1: because that could end everything. I might say something in

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Speaker 1: the heat of the moment that I'm never forgiven for.

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Speaker 1: It's why I don't get into big fights with people

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Speaker 1: very often, because what happens is the big fights they

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Speaker 1: turn into you know, do they turn into something about

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Speaker 1: something else, and before long you're not even fighting about

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Speaker 1: the thing you were fighting about anymore. Now you're just

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Speaker 1: hurting each other. And you got to undo all that

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Speaker 1: before you can solve the actual problem. Ana, how you doing?

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Speaker 1: Good morning?

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Speaker 6: Hi, good morning are you guys?

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Speaker 1: Hey? Thanks for carling, Thanks for listening. What do you

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Speaker 1: want to say?

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Speaker 6: So? I've been in a sixteen year plus relationship with

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Speaker 6: my current fyance and we have this agreement that you know,

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Speaker 6: when we have arguments, it's between him and I only

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Speaker 6: if I need advice or anything like that. I don't

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Speaker 6: really go up to friends or family and about it

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Speaker 6: because I think personally, when it comes to relationships is

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Speaker 6: between you, you and the spouse are your partner.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, because that was the other point that we

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Speaker 1: were making as we're kind of going back and forth

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Speaker 1: here at different scenarios. Is you know it is it

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Speaker 1: can be unfair to involve you know, your inner circle,

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Speaker 1: because you know, if you're just temporarily mad, or you

380
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Speaker 1: have some personal opinions, or you suspect some things and

381
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Speaker 1: then maybe they're not true. Your friends don't forget that stuff.

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Speaker 9: Nope.

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Speaker 1: And there does come a time and maybe it's not

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Speaker 1: the first time or the second or the tenth, but

385
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Speaker 1: there does come a time where people are getting a

386
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Speaker 1: little tired of hearing about the stuff that's going on

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Speaker 1: that you're not doing anything about, or that you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. Like, there's only so many times you

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Speaker 1: can go to the well before people are like, I

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Speaker 1: love you and I'll support you, but I can't hear

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Speaker 1: this stuff anymore because it's like, yeah, if it's all true,

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Speaker 1: then do something handle your business, right.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, Because I've had friends who come to me for advice.

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Speaker 8: For relationships, which I don't mind.

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Speaker 6: You know, I don't mind doing.

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Speaker 3: That for you.

397
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Speaker 8: But at the end of the day, it's your decision.

398
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Speaker 8: You decide what you want to do with your relationship.

399
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Speaker 1: Yeah, you come to me fifty times and tell me

400
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Speaker 1: that your spouse is the enemy. At some point I'm

401
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,360
Speaker 1: going to be like, there's a theme here, and it's

402
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Speaker 1: only so many times. There's only so many times I

403
00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:47,679
Speaker 1: can support you here. I'm not not your friend, I

404
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:50,080
Speaker 1: don't not love you, but like, if all that's true,

405
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Speaker 1: then you got to handle this. Yeah, And then.

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Speaker 6: They come tell me they're going to break up with them,

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Speaker 6: And then like at a weekend party and I see

408
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Speaker 6: him with her, I'm like.

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Speaker 1: What happened? That can be hard. That can be hard

410
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Speaker 1: because if you're a friend, I don't.

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Speaker 8: Want to judge the guy either.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and thank you, Anna, thank you for calling. If

413
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Speaker 1: you're a friend, then you oftentimes take on the weight

414
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Speaker 1: of your friend's dilemma. And like, how many times do

415
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Speaker 1: I have to to bear, you know, the herd and

416
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Speaker 1: the you know what I mean? How many times do

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Speaker 1: I have to like be in the trenches with you

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Speaker 1: before it's like, all right, well, are you gonna do

419
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Speaker 1: something about this? Hey? Elizabeth, Hi, Hi, good morning, stay

420
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Speaker 1: or go? This woman called us She went through her

421
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Speaker 1: boyfriend's phone. After a few weeks after a fight to friend. Yeah,

422
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Speaker 1: can you hear me? Okay, yeah, hold on, hold on, Elizabeth,

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Speaker 1: hold on, let me do my job real quick. So

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Speaker 1: I'm just recapping here. She went through her her boyfriend's

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Speaker 1: phone a few months, a few weeks after a fight,

426
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Speaker 1: only to find that he had been venting to his

427
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Speaker 1: friends in a very negative way about her. And now

428
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Speaker 1: she's she has access to this information. She's upset. What

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Speaker 1: do you think, Elizabeth.

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Speaker 5: I think I.

431
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Speaker 10: Need to a breath and just give themselves, you know,

432
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Speaker 10: a little bit of space. But I don't think that

433
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Speaker 10: either one of them should go necessarily. And you know,

434
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Speaker 10: I was hearing somebody else that was awful. A widow,

435
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Speaker 10: I'm a widow. She looked back at things with a

436
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Speaker 10: whole different view when the person's not there anymore, and

437
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 10: things in the heat of the moment, in the acute situation,

438
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,720
Speaker 10: you need to explode. But overall, that doesn't mean that.

439
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:28,360
Speaker 3: You hate that.

440
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, I agree with you.

441
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,240
Speaker 10: At the same time, with the text messages, she's also

442
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,840
Speaker 10: a person, and if she in the moment was getting

443
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,919
Speaker 10: a vibe that someone wasn't right, it's killing you to

444
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,240
Speaker 10: not try and figure.

445
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:41,920
Speaker 1: Out what that is.

446
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:44,520
Speaker 10: So I don't blame her. I don't like the idea,

447
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,960
Speaker 10: but I don't blame her for going through a text message.

448
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I feel like if she'd never

449
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,119
Speaker 1: read that stuff, she never would have known. And she

450
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,040
Speaker 1: wasn't you know, we asked the question, she wasn't even

451
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:58,640
Speaker 1: getting the vibe like things were okay. So they had

452
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,040
Speaker 1: moved past it, you know, And so people make mistakes,

453
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:04,400
Speaker 1: people say things they don't mean, they move on, they cope.

454
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,960
Speaker 1: And now she's sort of re regurgitating an old fight

455
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,920
Speaker 1: that he's that everyone had moved past. So I don't

456
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,520
Speaker 1: know about this, but Elizabeth, I'm sorry for your lost

457
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:16,000
Speaker 1: and thank you for sharing. Have a great day.

458
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:17,840
Speaker 10: Thank you.

459
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,760
Speaker 1: Love me, Guys love you too. I don't Christina, Hi,

460
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:21,640
Speaker 1: good morning.

461
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,520
Speaker 9: Hi, Good morning everyone.

462
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,880
Speaker 1: Hey welcome. What do you want to say about stairgo.

463
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,359
Speaker 9: Oh man, what a drama filled morning?

464
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:29,960
Speaker 10: This is?

465
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:30,879
Speaker 8: Well.

466
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:32,960
Speaker 1: I think we're saying hold on for the record, Christina,

467
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,120
Speaker 1: I think we've stayed on the air. I think we've

468
00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:37,040
Speaker 1: stayed on the air the whole hour, So that's less

469
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:42,040
Speaker 1: drama than we've been experiencing. Okay, Yeah, you.

470
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,919
Speaker 9: Know, all I want to comment you is, I know

471
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:45,840
Speaker 9: the type of behavior that she was doing, just going

472
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 9: through his phone and whatnot. When I would argue with

473
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,159
Speaker 9: my boyfriend when I was much younger, I was just

474
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:53,160
Speaker 9: looking for a reason to be above him and keep

475
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,879
Speaker 9: fighting with him. And so I honestly believe that she

476
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,560
Speaker 9: was looking for a reason to continue the argument. And

477
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,920
Speaker 9: the fact that the trust is now broken, I don't

478
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,520
Speaker 9: think that she felt secure in this relationship. The fact

479
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 9: that she's already hurting her own feelings going through his phone,

480
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:14,000
Speaker 9: invading his privacy, like it's just very mature in my opinion.

481
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:17,280
Speaker 9: If you felt very secure and loved in your relationship,

482
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,359
Speaker 9: regardless of you know, the fight, then you wouldn't be

483
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 9: going through your partner's phone. And well, I know very

484
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,080
Speaker 9: well she's probably saying the same thing to her friends

485
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:27,560
Speaker 9: about him.

486
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:28,639
Speaker 3: She just hasn't been caught.

487
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,879
Speaker 1: Oh well, and again, Christie, I can only speak to

488
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 1: my perspective of what I would do. But I'm a

489
00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:37,359
Speaker 1: highly imperfect person. I've said any number of things in

490
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:40,520
Speaker 1: my life to other people about someone that I am

491
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 1: so glad I never said to them. I got it

492
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,440
Speaker 1: off my chest. I said it, I regret it, it's over,

493
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,360
Speaker 1: and it was better that I get I in fact,

494
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,199
Speaker 1: don't you have people in your life who are like calm,

495
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 1: Like when you're upset with that person, call me, like

496
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:54,680
Speaker 1: my therapist has said to me before, Like when I'm

497
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,840
Speaker 1: in relationships out that called me, don't say it to that.

498
00:21:58,040 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 9: Well done, You're like, you know what, I'm going back

499
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 9: to love my partner. But it's just a sheer fact

500
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:06,120
Speaker 9: that the privacy was invaded. And I can't imagine if

501
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:08,720
Speaker 9: she was in his shoes, and if he went through

502
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 9: her phone and saw like her girlfriend's conversations, if he

503
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,120
Speaker 9: were to Roboto and say, oh, look what you said.

504
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,119
Speaker 9: Now let me get mad at you, even though we

505
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 9: haven't gone past the first fight yet.

506
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 1: I hear you. Thank you, Christina, have a good day. No,

507
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:27,399
Speaker 1: well America, Well we're trying, but it's by America I

508
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:27,720
Speaker 1: mean to