Speaker 1: We need a socialism jingle. We talk about it so much,
Speaker 1: we're gonna need your help choosing one. It's one more thing.
Speaker 1: I'm strong and getty, one more thing. So, Michael, are
Speaker 1: we going to just listen to one and give it
Speaker 1: a thumbs up or thumbs down? Or do we have
Speaker 1: different ones to choose from?
Speaker 2: Just one? Here?
Speaker 1: Okay, got avoided your.
Speaker 2: Knighte and no hope for the future?
Speaker 3: Are you tired of being all? Find out the solution.
Speaker 3: It's called socialism. It's got hugs, lots of hugs.
Speaker 2: Let's coffee and conversation with radomstrations who want to be
Speaker 2: a fan socialism?
Speaker 3: This time it's really.
Speaker 2: Gone work socialism.
Speaker 1: So did you type in write me a song about
Speaker 1: socialism that sounds like the theme song to a nineteen
Speaker 1: seventy eight TV show. Yes, because that's what it sounded like.
Speaker 1: This is gonna be the worst sitcom I've ever seen,
Speaker 1: but a couple of friends who hang out together because
Speaker 1: they believe in socialism.
Speaker 2: As a songwriter, I found the lyrics a little rambling,
Speaker 2: but that was funny.
Speaker 1: It was funny. We'll have to use that tomorrow. I'm
Speaker 1: the radio show. Yes, Laziest One More Thing podcast. Ever,
Speaker 1: I just went through the recent several days of the
Speaker 1: Babylon being picked out a bunch of their jokes, which
Speaker 1: are pretty dang funny.
Speaker 2: Smeone.
Speaker 1: Be's good. Their writers are good. They're they're I think
Speaker 1: they're hit and missus better than the people who write
Speaker 1: for uh, you know, Jimmy Kimmel. I don't know what
Speaker 1: kind of money they're making compared to Jimmy Kimmel's writers.
Speaker 2: But how about Jimmy fallon the funnier Jimmy.
Speaker 1: Here's from the Babylon Bee. I hope you don't need
Speaker 1: the picture for this woman with micro bangs wondering how
Speaker 1: everyone knows she hates her father basically any woman with
Speaker 1: an extreme haircut.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I saw that.
Speaker 1: How do you know you I hate my father? Like
Speaker 1: woman kicked out of Walmart for not wearing pajama bottoms.
Speaker 1: Freaking Walmart man.
Speaker 2: See, I almost never am in the walley and my
Speaker 2: wife shops there a lot, like for groceries because it's
Speaker 2: you know, good.
Speaker 1: Pricess and they got everything.
Speaker 2: I find the whole parking lot walking to the store,
Speaker 2: the crowds, that's it's stressful to me. I'll pay an
Speaker 2: extra few bucks not to do that.
Speaker 1: If you're in a super Walmart, you need to know
Speaker 1: the layout because it's so giant. If you park at
Speaker 1: the wrong end of the parking lot, you know, I
Speaker 1: hope you have your walking shoes on. Yeah, it's going
Speaker 1: to a town, Yeah it is. You're a long way
Speaker 1: away from the stuff you might be wanting.
Speaker 2: Hey, you know, I'm picturing some of the Like I
Speaker 2: lived in Verden, Illinois for a couple of years, very
Speaker 2: small town in central Illinois. Now Saline is a pretty
Speaker 2: big town. I'm thinking of some of the smaller towns
Speaker 2: I've lived in. Passed through a super Walmart in terms
Speaker 2: of square footage, how does that compare with like the
Speaker 2: town square where most of the businesses are in a
Speaker 2: little American bigger more Yeah? Yeah, back to the Babylon Bee,
Speaker 2: absolute psychopath. It's microwave counting down all the way to zero?
Speaker 2: Is that a common thing?
Speaker 1: I do that because I hate the beeping. I hate
Speaker 1: beeping out of electronics. Who decided we needed that? Why
Speaker 1: can't you turn it off all the time? I don't eed,
Speaker 1: bit bit, bit bit bit? Why so many beeps to
Speaker 1: let me know you got to zero on my freaking
Speaker 1: pop tart. God, dang it.
Speaker 2: Wow number one. Put it in a toaster.
Speaker 1: Oh it pierces my brain.
Speaker 2: Oh interesting.
Speaker 3: Ah.
Speaker 2: My wife used to make fun of me speaking of
Speaker 2: a microwaves because I would regularly heat some something for
Speaker 2: seventeen seconds or twenty three or whatever, because I would.
Speaker 1: Say, Hey, here's the question. Is it always an odd number? No,
Speaker 1: because I'm always an even number on my what I
Speaker 1: set my microwave for. I can't even imagine setting it
Speaker 1: for an odd number.
Speaker 2: I have confessed in the past that I used to
Speaker 2: only change my air conditioning in my car by even numbers.
Speaker 2: If I was at seventy two and it was, you know,
Speaker 2: it was chillier than I needed, I'd move it up
Speaker 2: to seventy four. I would never do odd numbers. And
Speaker 2: because OCD runs in my family a lot of family,
Speaker 2: I convince myself, Nope, you've got to fight it. I'm
Speaker 2: talking to myself now, You've got to fight that sort
Speaker 2: of impulse. You've got to regularly do the opposite of it,
Speaker 2: realize everything's great, and move on with your day.
Speaker 1: You think that's helpful.
Speaker 2: It feels like it is.
Speaker 1: I don't know, it does seem because I have one
Speaker 1: kid who's got OCD to a pretty high degree, and
Speaker 1: it can kind of take over your life. So maybe
Speaker 1: fighting it at the lower level is better so it
Speaker 1: doesn't grow.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't want to out anybody, but I have
Speaker 2: been very, very surprised to learn fairly recently how prevalent
Speaker 2: it is in my family.
Speaker 1: H Yeah, it comes in different sizes, like I have
Speaker 1: a little bit of it, but nothing that has any
Speaker 1: effect on my life. But I can't imagine choosing an
Speaker 1: odd number on the microwave.
Speaker 2: I think I was in my middle ages. Yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 2: That's funny. I was in my middle ages before I
Speaker 2: realized how much depression there was in my mom's family.
Speaker 2: I mean, like back in the day when treatments were
Speaker 2: not very good, people hospitalized and shock treatments and stuff
Speaker 2: like that, just a lot of it.
Speaker 1: My mom's adopted, so yet half do half the knowledge
Speaker 1: of that sort of thing. I don't know at all.
Speaker 2: She ever pursued the uh birth family thing just for
Speaker 2: medical purposes.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. Babel unbee Man introduces himself to
Speaker 1: next door neighbors who just recently moved in nine years ago.
Speaker 1: My neighbors all came and introduced themselves to me, and
Speaker 1: I'm glad they're that kind of people because I like
Speaker 1: knowing them and I talked to them on a regular basis.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I would have done that if
Speaker 1: they hadn't been the kind of people they are.
Speaker 2: We had neighbors move in, and like that day there
Speaker 2: was a dog running around the neighborhood and I texted,
Speaker 2: I got the number. I texted, I said, hey, there's
Speaker 2: dog running around. Do you happen to have a black
Speaker 2: lab or whatever it was? And they said no, no
Speaker 2: we don't, but thanks. I said, yeah, no worries, looking
Speaker 2: forward to getting to know you. Welcome to the neighborhood.
Speaker 2: Never exchanged a word since.
Speaker 1: And now it's at the awkward right stage.
Speaker 2: So you've been here for a year and a quarter.
Speaker 2: Thought i'd say, loof.
Speaker 1: Boomers prepare for church by setting cell phone to maximum volume.
Speaker 1: When your phone goes off at a meeting, why is
Speaker 1: it set to so loud? And how do you not
Speaker 1: know the button to press to make it stop? How
Speaker 1: do you not know that a third that fourth ring,
Speaker 1: and God help us, that fifth ring. And I always
Speaker 1: say this because this is what drives me crazy. People
Speaker 1: always check and see who it's from before they turn
Speaker 1: it off. The most important that you've interrupted this entire
Speaker 1: whatever we're at, still got to check and see who
Speaker 1: it is because it might be important. How often is
Speaker 1: it important? Really, it's not important. Wife begins pre bedtime
Speaker 1: ritual of chilling feet in freezer. I liked this one.
Speaker 1: Battlon b is a religious organization. That's why you get
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff about religion and God and stuff
Speaker 1: like that. The Bible or or church. God will never
Speaker 1: give you more than you can handle in life, says
Speaker 1: man unfamiliar with God, Comma life. Oh that's perfect, it
Speaker 1: really is.
Speaker 2: Oh beautiful.
Speaker 1: I got a lot of these, friend, as sure as you.
Speaker 1: TV show gets really good if you can just push
Speaker 1: through nine bad seasons dealing with a book like this
Speaker 1: right now. One of the most famous books in the
Speaker 1: last thirty years, Infinite Infinite, just by David Foster Walls.
Speaker 1: It's a nine, it's almost a thousand pages, one all
Speaker 1: kinds of prizes. It's legendary that it's a cult favorite.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he was a hero until he killed himself.
Speaker 1: It sucks so hard, and I'm about halfway through it.
Speaker 1: It's my least favorite book I've ever read in my wife.
Speaker 1: But everybody says you gotta get at least halfway through
Speaker 1: before it all comes together and makes sense. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get to halfway.
Speaker 2: Oh god, it sucks, you know, obviously that's the point
Speaker 2: of the joke. But I have had people say, now,
Speaker 2: the third season really takes off, but you ought to
Speaker 2: work watch the first two in the first three episodes
Speaker 2: of the because it's really the fourth episode of the
Speaker 2: third season that really takes off.
Speaker 1: This is a good one for this time of year.
Speaker 1: Collapsible carnival ride operated by toothless meth addict. Probably fine.
Speaker 1: Newly transitioned woman proudly runs over first curb. Wow, doctor
Speaker 1: reassures nervous patient this procedure will make him truckload of money. Yeah,
Speaker 1: plane crashes after no one tells the passengers to fly safe.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to decide which one because you want to
Speaker 1: end on a good joke.
Speaker 2: Right, very important show business?
Speaker 1: Uh, civil engineer really starting to regret building city on
Speaker 1: rock and roll.
Speaker 2: Oh didn't see that coming.
Speaker 1: I know what I'm gonna end on. These are both too,
Speaker 1: These last two are both good. Texas approves death penalty
Speaker 1: for anyone who starts an email with Happy Monday Team.
Speaker 1: Oh man, if you start your email with that to
Speaker 1: start the week, you and I probably aren't going to
Speaker 1: hang out a lot. And I like this one man
Speaker 1: who ate at Taco Bell getting more Baja Blast than
Speaker 1: he bargained for.
Speaker 2: Oh that is so good. Well done, Babylon be You
Speaker 2: guys are great. Poor Taco Bell, they're taking a beating
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 1: Well, I guess that's it. That's a little more Baja
Speaker 1: Blest than I needed.