WEBVTT - My Weight Loss Journey Pt. 2 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:10.200 Hello, Hello, and welcome back to Part two of my 0:00:10.320 --> 0:00:12.960 story on weight loss and how it's affected me over 0:00:13.000 --> 0:00:15.320 the years. If you haven't heard part one, go check 0:00:15.360 --> 0:00:17.440 it out. I talked about some of the lessons I 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:19.119 was taught as a kid and how it shaped me 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:21.880 as an adult, and today I want to expand on 0:00:21.960 --> 0:00:24.239 that and talk about what it's been like for me 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:27.479 over the last few years. There's been a lot of 0:00:27.520 --> 0:00:30.200 trial and error figuring out what works for me and 0:00:30.280 --> 0:00:33.640 my body because everyone is so different. I tried everything 0:00:33.680 --> 0:00:37.760 from keto to working out, to fasting, intermitute fasting. I've 0:00:37.760 --> 0:00:41.280 tried it all under the sun. I have tried diet pills, 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:44.600 Like I said in Part one, I've tried fenermine. I've 0:00:44.640 --> 0:00:47.879 tried just so many things. And I can tell you 0:00:47.960 --> 0:00:49.919 now that I'm in a place where I'm pretty comfortable 0:00:49.960 --> 0:00:52.000 with the way I look. But even though I've slimmed down, 0:00:52.040 --> 0:00:54.520 there are some things I continue to struggle with, which 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:56.080 is what I'm going to talk about in a bit 0:00:57.040 --> 0:00:59.880 right now. I have lost and I haven't said this 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:02.240 I think, well, at least not on the pod, but 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:05.080 I have lost about sixty five pounds. You guys, in 0:01:05.120 --> 0:01:10.920 the past year, I went from what a size twelve 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:16.160 to a size six And I said this in part one. 0:01:16.600 --> 0:01:18.280 The last time I was a size six, you guys, 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:18.679 I was. 0:01:18.760 --> 0:01:23.200 Six years old. Okay, so I don't know. Something just 0:01:23.280 --> 0:01:28.000 clicked in my mind. I went from thinking I want 0:01:28.040 --> 0:01:31.400 to look good to I want to be healthy. And 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:33.640 I say this in my Keto book, in the Cheek 0:01:33.720 --> 0:01:36.120 is Keto book, because Keto worked for me and I 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:39.280 loved it. I did lose weight, but then I would 0:01:39.360 --> 0:01:42.040 hit a plateau and I think I was just having 0:01:42.120 --> 0:01:45.319 way too much cheese and stuff like that. And again, 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:50.760 every body is different, literally, everybody is different. So it 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:53.720 was like everything else, it'll work in the beginning, but 0:01:53.840 --> 0:01:55.640 your body starts getting used to it, you know what 0:01:55.680 --> 0:01:58.160 I mean, So you have to continuously shock your body. 0:01:58.160 --> 0:02:01.920 And then I realized that it's control. It's not only 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:05.000 about eating the right things and eating the healthy things. 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:08.639 It's about eating smaller portions more frequently. And I had 0:02:08.680 --> 0:02:10.360 heard that before and over and over and over, but 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:13.080 not until I was like it really just It wasn't 0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:15.480 until it just clicked, until I was just like, wait, 0:02:15.520 --> 0:02:18.720 that makes so much sense that my body started changing. 0:02:18.760 --> 0:02:21.880 I've always worked out and that's another thing. I would 0:02:21.919 --> 0:02:24.600 work out, I think too much and too hard, so 0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:26.919 it would backfire on me. And you guys go read 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:29.480 on this. Don't take my word for it, but there 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:32.720 are studies that if you work out more than forty 0:02:32.720 --> 0:02:34.960 five minutes, like again, you have to Like so many 0:02:35.000 --> 0:02:36.720 people are like, O, I'm gonna ran really really fast 0:02:36.800 --> 0:02:38.560 and I'm gonna sprint, and that's what's gonna make me 0:02:38.639 --> 0:02:41.120 lose weight. That helps you, yes, lose weight. It helps 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:43.919 you burn more carbohydrates. But if you're trying to burn fat, 0:02:44.440 --> 0:02:47.000 you need to do intervals. You need to do like 0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:50.200 walking on an incline, like and sometimes even just twenty 0:02:50.240 --> 0:02:53.639 minutes thirty minutes I was doing like sometimes two hours 0:02:53.680 --> 0:02:55.600 of training, and I feel like it was kind of 0:02:55.680 --> 0:02:59.200 backfiring on me. And it all depends on your body again, 0:02:59.280 --> 0:03:01.400 so you have to figure out like your blood type, 0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:03.200 and it's like a whole thing. And I don't want 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:07.840 to get into that. But I do feel better, absolutely absolutely. 0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:11.440 I feel better mentally physically, I have more energy. I 0:03:11.520 --> 0:03:13.799 do feel like I'm getting sick a little bit more 0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:17.560 frequently than before, and I'm one to take my medicine 0:03:17.639 --> 0:03:20.840 all the time. But I think because I lost so 0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:25.040 much weight that I don't know, maybe my immune system, 0:03:25.080 --> 0:03:26.800 my body's still trying to figure things out. But I 0:03:26.840 --> 0:03:29.400 do feel so much better, like emotionally, like I look 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:32.400 in the mirror and it's nice to go to the store, 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:36.160 you guys, and everything fits or I have my fittings 0:03:36.160 --> 0:03:38.080 and I don't have to worry about this hanging out 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:41.240 and that. And it's like again, like I've always loved myself. 0:03:41.240 --> 0:03:44.640 I've always been pretty confident, but I didn't really see 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:47.200 myself as big as I was, to be honest. Now 0:03:47.200 --> 0:03:50.680 I see videos and I see like they do comparisons 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:52.720 on TikTok, and I'm just like, oh shit. Like I 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:55.000 see pictures and Emilio and I will be going through 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:57.600 like you know, vacation pictures and I'm like damn. I'm like, 0:03:57.640 --> 0:03:59.160 did you see me like them? Like why didn't you 0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:01.520 tell me? And he's like, it's like You've always been 0:04:01.520 --> 0:04:03.760 so beautiful, Like I honestly didn't see that, Like now 0:04:03.800 --> 0:04:07.280 I see it's a drastic change. And even me, I'm like, damn, 0:04:07.480 --> 0:04:09.840 my neck was so thick. I didn't have this neck 0:04:10.240 --> 0:04:11.800 like right now, like I have the neck that I 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:14.640 had when I was freaking, I don't know, twenty four, Like, 0:04:14.880 --> 0:04:17.240 I feel like my neck has come back. It's longer, 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:20.320 you know, And I didn't really realize, to be honest, 0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:22.159 but now I look in the mirror and it's nice. 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:24.920 It's nice to be like sometimes I'm even a slice small, 0:04:25.160 --> 0:04:28.120 you know what I mean. And I'm happy. I'm very, 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:30.919 very happy. And I did it more for health, To 0:04:31.000 --> 0:04:34.239 be honest, I wanted to just finally just be different 0:04:34.600 --> 0:04:37.960 in my mindset and think about I want to be healthy, 0:04:38.160 --> 0:04:40.680 I want to live longer. I want to take care 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:43.240 of this temple that God has let me borrow this body. 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:46.120 I want to feed it good things. And I'm not 0:04:46.240 --> 0:04:48.960 saying that I don't have fun, because I still like 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:51.479 to have pizza, and I like sweets, and I like 0:04:51.560 --> 0:04:53.640 chocolates and bread, like I still have all that stuff, 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:55.040 but I have a lot. 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:55.960 Less of it. 0:04:55.960 --> 0:04:58.799 It was just really like portion control and really getting 0:04:58.800 --> 0:05:04.159 my hormones in line and my thyroid issue that comes 0:05:04.160 --> 0:05:07.599 from you know, for my family, it's hereditary and it's 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:10.080 something that now I'm controlling. And I wish I could 0:05:10.080 --> 0:05:13.000 stop taking that medicine every single day because I feel 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:15.480 like our bodies heal ourselves, so I want to find 0:05:15.480 --> 0:05:18.560 a more holistic way. But it's helped me, honestly, like 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:22.479 having your hormones in line and balanced help you so much. 0:05:22.560 --> 0:05:25.320 So that's one thing I'm so grateful for. And one 0:05:25.320 --> 0:05:28.480 thing I haven't really said is that another thing that's 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:31.440 helped me lose weight is ozembic. I'm sure you guys 0:05:31.480 --> 0:05:33.200 have heard about it. I made all these changes with 0:05:33.240 --> 0:05:35.200 my hormones, with my thyroid, all that stuff, and then 0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:37.240 I started getting that injection. When I was like, okay, 0:05:37.240 --> 0:05:38.360 I hit a plateau and I was like, I still 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:40.520 want to lose more weight. So I did go that route. 0:05:40.880 --> 0:05:43.520 I'm not telling you guys to do it. It did help 0:05:43.560 --> 0:05:46.960 me lose weight, and I only did it for three months. 0:05:48.080 --> 0:05:52.880 I also got way, like, I don't know, four years ago, 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:56.000 I got that balloon that they put in your stomach, 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:58.960 a big ass pill that you swallow, and that helped 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:02.000 me lose weight as well. But again they remove that balloon. 0:06:02.120 --> 0:06:04.200 It was too uncomfortable for me. So I did lose 0:06:04.240 --> 0:06:05.880 weight and that I think that was the first thing 0:06:05.920 --> 0:06:08.400 that really started everything. And I was like, okay, well, 0:06:08.440 --> 0:06:10.039 if they're putting this balloon in my stomach. That means 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:12.200 I just have to eat less to shrink my stomach, 0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:14.240 you know what I mean. I'm like, duh, it's common sense, 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:16.720 you know. But it really just kind of opened up 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:19.520 and sparked that in my mind. So I did lose weight, 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:22.880 but I removed that. And then once you remove it, 0:06:22.960 --> 0:06:25.719 then your stomach goes back to its normal size, you know, 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:27.640 and you start putting more food in it. So again 0:06:27.680 --> 0:06:30.159 it's all portion control. So anyways, going back to ozempic 0:06:30.200 --> 0:06:32.440 so azempic is, I'm sure you've heard about it. It's 0:06:32.480 --> 0:06:35.920 like the Hollywood injection. It's like a medication that people 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:40.000 that have diabetes take to control their sugar levels. But 0:06:40.040 --> 0:06:42.039 then they found out that you can use it for 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:43.880 weight loss. So a lot of people have been using it. 0:06:43.960 --> 0:06:47.720 And I did it, and it helped me. I stopped it, 0:06:47.880 --> 0:06:50.400 and now it's just I need to just I want 0:06:50.400 --> 0:06:52.520 to have control of my body. I don't want to 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:55.240 have a stimulant or something that I have to take 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:59.200 all the time. I have to have self control and 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:03.039 eat better, make better choices, and eat less of everything. 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:05.560 And now I don't eat I don't drink soda, I 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:07.520 rarely drink beer. I think I've had, like in the 0:07:07.560 --> 0:07:10.440 past year, one beer, and that was at snow the Products. 0:07:11.240 --> 0:07:13.520 That's my first beer I think in like a year, 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:16.040 you guys, I had it there on her podcast. All 0:07:16.080 --> 0:07:19.360 that stuff, all that yeast, all like the sodas, any 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:22.560 type of anything that's carbonated. It expands your stomach. So 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:24.160 I started just reading on a bunch of that stuff. 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:24.559 So I stopped. 0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:26.440 I took that out of my diet or should I 0:07:26.480 --> 0:07:28.200 say my lifestyle, because I don't like to call it 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:31.040 a diet. It's a lifestyle. And right now I'm not 0:07:31.120 --> 0:07:33.920 necessarily super fixated on what I eat, and I don't 0:07:33.960 --> 0:07:36.360 eat because I don't like to deprive myself, and I 0:07:36.480 --> 0:07:38.800 like to just give myself that Lee way of saying, Okay, 0:07:38.840 --> 0:07:40.760 I'm gonna have a little bit of this, but instead 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:45.000 of having the entire pizza slice, I'll have half of it. 0:07:45.040 --> 0:07:47.400 I'll take a few bites just to get myself, like 0:07:47.680 --> 0:07:50.680 to satisfy that craving, but I won't have the whole thing. 0:07:50.720 --> 0:07:52.240 Before I used to eat three slices, you know what 0:07:52.280 --> 0:07:55.320 I mean. So I don't let it get to me 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:58.400 too much. But I now that I'm just getting older, 0:07:58.400 --> 0:08:00.480 I just want to be healthier. That's what it's like. 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:03.840 I just want to feel good. I just want, yes 0:08:03.920 --> 0:08:05.800 to look good, but I want to feel good. I 0:08:05.840 --> 0:08:09.120 want to feed myself good things, you know. And working 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:12.040 out just has been a part of my life since 0:08:12.200 --> 0:08:14.160 oh since I can remember. I mean, my mom would 0:08:14.200 --> 0:08:16.640 make me work out when I was freaking twelve years old, 0:08:16.680 --> 0:08:17.840 you know what I mean. So it's like it's been 0:08:17.840 --> 0:08:21.560 a part of my life forever, and now as an adult, 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:23.840 it just helps with my stress. I love boxing, I 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:26.920 love the bike, I love treadmill, I love hiking. I 0:08:27.120 --> 0:08:31.120 just like to be active because it helps release toxins 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.559 and they say at least sweat at least twenty minutes 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:35.760 a day. It helps with your mental clarity, it gives 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:38.719 you more energy, the endorphins, you know, like all that 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:43.880 helps you on a mental level, and it's just a 0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:45.559 part of my life. For me, it's like I have 0:08:45.679 --> 0:08:47.560 to at least work out, and that's one thing that 0:08:47.600 --> 0:08:49.640 I'm a little bit more. When I got sick this 0:08:49.720 --> 0:08:52.040 last time, it was so tough because it just really 0:08:52.320 --> 0:08:54.400 threw me off track. But I wasn't able to work 0:08:54.400 --> 0:08:56.920 out obviously, so getting back into it was a little tough, 0:08:56.960 --> 0:08:58.920 but I'm like, I push myself. That's one thing that 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:01.439 I'm like, working out is part of my job. That's 0:09:01.480 --> 0:09:04.560 one thing I can't stop doing because it really does 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:07.720 help me with my sanity. So I try to do 0:09:07.760 --> 0:09:10.280 it at least no less than three times a week. 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:12.080 If I can do five, that's like my goal. I 0:09:12.160 --> 0:09:14.040 like to have two rest days in the week. So 0:09:14.080 --> 0:09:16.080 that's one thing that it's like, I need a sweat, 0:09:16.120 --> 0:09:18.280 and the more I sweat, the sexier I feel. It's 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:27.120 crazy now, Like when I look in the mirror, I 0:09:27.120 --> 0:09:29.240 can tell you, like I'm very happy with what I see. 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:31.199 I see, like I have less cellulite, Like I'm always 0:09:31.240 --> 0:09:33.280 gonna have sella light like that's just I've learned to 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:35.360 just come to terms with it and accept that because 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:38.640 again that's something that's more hereditary. I have creams like 0:09:38.679 --> 0:09:41.160 even a like on my skincare line, I have an 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:44.800 antisellulite cream. So but I'm happier now to see less 0:09:44.840 --> 0:09:46.400 of it, you know what I mean. So I like 0:09:46.520 --> 0:09:48.200 using things like that. I've always used them. It's something 0:09:48.240 --> 0:09:50.360 that I've struggled with it since I was freaking I 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:53.080 don't know, thirteen years old. It's something that's just a 0:09:53.120 --> 0:09:56.000 part of my body. But I look in the mirror 0:09:56.080 --> 0:10:02.200 and I'm happy. Sometimes though my stylist will tell me 0:10:02.280 --> 0:10:06.240 Cheeky's I don't think you realize how much you've lost, 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:09.120 because I'll still go for the size like eight, and 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:10.840 he's like, wait, you're not an eight anymore, Like you 0:10:10.840 --> 0:10:13.840 can wear six, you can wear this small. Like I 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:16.319 think it's been so many years that maybe I don't 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:19.439 see myself like other people see me or the way 0:10:19.480 --> 0:10:21.920 I look. I don't know, but I do look in 0:10:21.960 --> 0:10:23.840 the mirror and I'm like, Okay, now I can go 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:25.920 back to like I don't know, because for a while, 0:10:25.960 --> 0:10:29.000 I was a little bit more shy to walk naked 0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:30.960 around Emilio, you know what I mean. Like I was 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:32.800 just like a little bit more shy, and because he's 0:10:32.800 --> 0:10:35.160 all he's thin, you know, and he's younger and whatever. 0:10:35.440 --> 0:10:38.040 And now I'm like, Okay, I'm pouncing around with my 0:10:38.120 --> 0:10:40.800 ass out and cute little shorts and I don't care, 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:43.199 like I'm I feel good and I feel like it's 0:10:43.240 --> 0:10:46.560 happened at the right time because I at this age, 0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:49.560 I am learning to value that and appreciate it on 0:10:49.600 --> 0:10:52.880 a different level. And in a different way. So I'm 0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:56.520 glad it happened now. And one thing that's crazy, because 0:10:57.040 --> 0:10:59.320 I mean I think as women, we all have our 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:02.000 little insecure the little things that we worry about. And 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:04.559 for me, because I have gotten plastic surgery, you guys, 0:11:04.960 --> 0:11:09.600 I've gotten liposuction, I've gotten breast augmentation, breast reduction, breast augmentation. Again, 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:11.400 I took out the implants and put it back in. 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:14.480 Like I have scars. You know, I have LiPo suction scars, 0:11:14.480 --> 0:11:17.960 and I'm not one to heal very nicely, so I 0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:20.640 keyloid and all this stuff. So I think, and it's 0:11:20.640 --> 0:11:22.560 always been since I started, like since I got my 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:25.240 first like boob job, Like I have scars, you know 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:26.920 what i mean. Like and now I'm like whatever, I 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:28.679 just got to embrace them. But they are a little 0:11:28.679 --> 0:11:30.160 bit like they make me feel a little insecure, like 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:32.079 when I'm in a bikini or something, you know what 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:33.760 I mean. Like I want to be able to wear 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:37.000 those like string ones you know, around the breast, but 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:39.199 I have to wear a little bit thicker so my 0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:42.080 my scars are covered. So it's like little things like that, 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:44.160 you know. Now, I'm just like before I used to 0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:46.079 be so insecure about my toes, you guys, because I 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:48.040 had a friend that would always tell me, she's like, 0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:50.800 oh my god, girl, like you're so cute like your face, 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:52.920 your body, your booty, and then you go down to 0:11:52.960 --> 0:11:55.360 your toes and it's like, damn, what happened to that? 0:11:56.240 --> 0:11:58.559 So she made me feel so like insecure about them. 0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:01.559 But now I'm like, whatever, I don't necessarily have to 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:03.200 wear open to shoes all the time. That's what I 0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:05.480 tell my stylist. I'm like, don't buy me or get 0:12:05.520 --> 0:12:08.560 me open to shoes, because you know they came for 0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:10.679 me to on social media once when I did, and 0:12:10.760 --> 0:12:12.320 I just now, I'm just like, I just want to 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:14.600 avoid that. And not only that, like I like closed 0:12:14.600 --> 0:12:17.600 toe shoes anyways, but I do try my best to 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:20.640 not talk so much crap to myself in the mirror. 0:12:20.640 --> 0:12:22.000 I'm just like, you know what, like I have to 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:24.199 be grateful for what I have. I have to be thankful, 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:25.760 like I've come a long way. Like if I have 0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:28.960 a little bit of loose skin on my stomach, okay, whatever, 0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:31.480 because before I didn't have that much loose skin on 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:34.480 my stomach. Now that I've lost to weight, like you 0:12:34.480 --> 0:12:36.240 could tell a little bit like in my tummy that 0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:38.200 I'm like, damn, do I need like a tummy tuck, 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:39.640 you know. And I brought it up to a media 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:41.160 and he's like, you're crazy. You know you're not gonna 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:43.520 do that. But even today, like I posted a video 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:45.640 of my post workout, you know, that I was sweating 0:12:45.720 --> 0:12:47.160 or whatever, and I was like, ah, whatever, I have 0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:49.240 loose skin. And I even told I was like I 0:12:49.280 --> 0:12:51.320 put it there. I'm like, don't talk shit, you know. Whatever, 0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:53.480 it is what it is. And I'm learning to just 0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:55.760 love my body in a different in a different way. 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:58.840 And I will say I've gotten a lot more attention 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:00.120 from God. 0:13:01.880 --> 0:13:02.439 Then go bay. 0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:06.040 I've always had like you know, guys after me or whatever, 0:13:07.120 --> 0:13:09.160 but now guys have come out of like the woodworks 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:10.920 and I'm just like trying to slide in the dms 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:12.560 or whatever, and like I don't open them. I just 0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:14.320 see like the beginning, to be honest, like I'm not 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:18.120 trying to get myself into any type of situation or 0:13:18.440 --> 0:13:22.559 what an entanglement or anything like that, so I kind 0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:24.640 of just ignore it. But like now it's like, oh, 0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:28.440 you know, I've gotten comments like from even reporters. Okay, 0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:31.160 you guys, well, now I WoT I see stas want 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:34.719 to eat that. Now you're pretty straight up and now 0:13:34.760 --> 0:13:37.280 it's like, oh they see me like wow, it is big. Yeah, 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:41.079 Like what was I not pretty before? Like without no shame, 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:43.600 Like they straight up just say it, Oh my god, 0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:45.040 now you're beautiful. Mm hmm. 0:13:45.400 --> 0:13:47.600 Now that you've lost weight, now we accept you. They 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:48.320 don't have to say it. 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:50.280 It's kind of like in their face and the way 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:51.720 they say it and their tone of voice. 0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:54.280 Then I'm like what And I'm like, huh. 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:57.120 If you didn't love me before, I'm not going to 0:13:57.200 --> 0:13:58.800 let you into my life. Now you want to love 0:13:58.840 --> 0:14:00.000 me now you want to be a part of my 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:02.480 Now you could be my friend. Now you could support 0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:05.960 me because I've lost weight. No, thank you, Michelkonnach and 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:07.200 think us to work on me when I was at 0:14:07.200 --> 0:14:09.520 my worst. I will stay with the people that were 0:14:09.559 --> 0:14:11.040 with me when I was at my worst. And that's 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:13.400 one thing that I love about Emilia because I met 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:15.240 him at the biggest I had ever been. I didn't 0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:16.880 even realize how much I had weighed. You, guys, I'll 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:20.160 be honest with you when I weighed myself and I 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:23.760 had stayed away from the freaking scale for years. For years, 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:25.680 I had this bad relationship with the scale, And now 0:14:25.760 --> 0:14:28.640 it's become my friend. We're homies now. Now it's like, okay, 0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:30.160 I got to weigh myself once a week so I 0:14:30.160 --> 0:14:32.720 can stay accountable. But when I finally got on that 0:14:33.080 --> 0:14:36.520 freaking scale after years and I realized that I was 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:40.560 two hundred and six pounds, two hundred and six pounds, 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:44.480 I'm five to two, I was like, no wonder, no wonder. 0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:46.720 My feet hurt, no wonder, my knees hurt, no wonder, 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:50.120 no wonder. People or I didn't see myself at two 0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:51.160 hundred and six pounds. 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:52.560 I thought, okay, maybe I'm pushing one. 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:57.120 Nighty, No bitch. I was two o six and Emilia 0:14:57.200 --> 0:14:59.000 loved me and he thought it was the sexiest thing 0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:01.720 on earth. So now I'm like, uh huh, boys are 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:03.520 going to try to come out of the woodworks and 0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:05.920 try to like swoop me up. I'm like, uh uh, 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:07.360 you did not like me when I was two hundred 0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:10.160 and six pounds. Wuld you now that I'm one hundred 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:12.880 and forty five pounds, guys, Yes, I'm so happy and 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:15.520 proud to say that now you want to come into 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:17.960 my life? Uh huh. And right now I'm fine. I'm 0:15:18.000 --> 0:15:20.040 comfortable at one hundred and forty five pounds. I've never 0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:22.920 shared my weight you guys. Ever, I always light on 0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:24.600 my dad. I d it still says one hundred and 0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:26.600 fifty pounds, and I don't. I was not one hundred 0:15:26.600 --> 0:15:29.640 and fifty pounds for sure. So now I'm sharing. I'm 0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:32.320 comfortable now. I've always weighed more than I look. My 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:34.400 doctors would always say, like, oh my god, you always 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:38.360 you weigh more, like I'm hefty, Like I'm freaking thick, 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:40.200 you know what I mean, I'm thick bone how they 0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:42.160 call it. I think I just want to lose, like 0:15:42.200 --> 0:15:44.040 I want to be one forty just for ships and 0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:46.280 giggles like. And now I'm like, okay, my birthday's coming up. 0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:48.800 I'm going to grease. I want to be one forty 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:51.680 just to challenge myself. So That's where I'm at right now. 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:55.120 But I can tell you I'm definitely happy with my weight. 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:57.080 You know, Johnny lives with me, and my brother lives 0:15:57.080 --> 0:15:58.840 with me, so he's saying that. In twenty eighteen, it 0:15:58.880 --> 0:16:00.520 was so bad that I didn't want to get on 0:16:00.560 --> 0:16:02.680 the scale ever at the doctor's office. You guys, I'm 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:05.240 not joking. I would say, I'm going to turn around, 0:16:05.640 --> 0:16:07.400 you write down the number. I don't want to see it. 0:16:07.400 --> 0:16:09.040 I don't want you to repeat it. And it so 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:11.120 happened to be that Johnny went with me. He's saying, 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:13.640 in October of twenty eighteen, this guy, his freaking memory 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:16.320 is crazy. He went to the doctor's office with me, 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:19.000 and they, you know, the doctor says the number out loud, 0:16:19.040 --> 0:16:20.600 and I look at Johnny and I'm like, if you 0:16:20.720 --> 0:16:23.520 ever fing say anything and repeat that, I'm I'm going 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:25.200 to ask you to move out osat Like I don't 0:16:25.200 --> 0:16:27.080 remember saying that, but I know he's not lying because 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:28.560 it sounds like something I would say. 0:16:29.120 --> 0:16:30.160 But it was bad, you guys. 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:32.560 And now I've learned to just love the scale and say, okay, 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:34.760 I have to hold myself accountable, like I have to 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:37.240 get on it so that I'm like, Okay, if I 0:16:37.280 --> 0:16:39.600 gain two pounds, it okay. Then this week I need 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:42.360 to eat a little bit better, you know what I mean, 0:16:42.400 --> 0:16:45.120 or drink more water, or just make small changes. So 0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:54.960 now I've learned to love the scale. Now that I've 0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:58.920 lost weight. I can tell you guys that I have 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:04.600 gotten more work up oportunities. It's crazy, brands are seeing 0:17:04.760 --> 0:17:08.040 me in a different way, in a different light. That's 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:10.720 insane to think about. And I haven't said that out loud, 0:17:11.320 --> 0:17:15.520 but it makes me sad because it's just we live 0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:22.679 in such an artificial, superficial world that it's just the 0:17:22.720 --> 0:17:26.040 thinner you are, the more perfect you are, the more 0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:29.760 accepted you are, you know. And I have gotten more 0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:34.159 opportunities and more people reaching out like big brands, like big, big, 0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:39.000 big brands, And I'm grateful. I'm definitely grateful, absolutely, But 0:17:39.240 --> 0:17:42.000 in my heart, I'm just like damn, and I still 0:17:42.000 --> 0:17:45.879 feel like I represent thick, curvy women. But imagine, like 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:51.399 there are so many women like me, like us that 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:54.480 are more of a normal I guess size, you know 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:56.760 what I mean. Like it's like it's there are so 0:17:56.840 --> 0:18:00.280 many more of us, and I want to always represent that. 0:18:00.480 --> 0:18:05.120 So anyways, I mean, I'm grateful, no make oh, I'm 0:18:05.119 --> 0:18:08.280 not complaining. But I have seen the difference. I have 0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:11.119 noticed a difference. I feel the difference with people in 0:18:11.160 --> 0:18:15.679