Speaker 1: Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred
Speaker 1: minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last
Speaker 1: remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
Speaker 1: He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as
Speaker 1: the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow. It's a
Speaker 1: clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special. The
Speaker 1: Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the
Speaker 1: air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny
Speaker 1: g Radio is back in your audio device, and we
Speaker 1: thank you for finding the podcast the global reach of podcasting,
Speaker 1: because four hours a night on the overnight not enough
Speaker 1: for me. And Danny's got his hands full with Covino
Speaker 1: and Rich, but he has more time, more hot takes
Speaker 1: to provide, even on a Saturday, Danny, even on a Saturday. Yeah, Man,
Speaker 1: we don't rast. We don't sleep. Actually, I guess we
Speaker 1: sleep in increments. I slept for three hours the other
Speaker 1: night straight. I fell asleep and I was so impressed.
Speaker 1: I was like, I didn't wake up once in those
Speaker 1: three hours. Congratulations. That's what has it been. As you
Speaker 1: get older, it is just harder and harder to sleep
Speaker 1: through a whole night. I've never been good at sleeping
Speaker 1: unless I drug myself. I blame my parents because my
Speaker 1: mom was not a good sleep. I think my dad
Speaker 1: was an okay sleeper, but yeah, I'm just a terrible,
Speaker 1: terrible sleeper. We have that in common. My mom would
Speaker 1: sleep for a couple hours when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: and she was good. She wandered around at night cleaning
Speaker 1: stuff like a weirdo. Yeah. I don't have the sleep gene.
Speaker 1: My wife does, my pal my buddy does. The little
Speaker 1: guy he's got a great sleep, but I don't. I
Speaker 1: do not have the ability to sleep more than more
Speaker 1: a little bit. I guess it enables us to do
Speaker 1: radio any time of the day or night. That's right,
Speaker 1: as we are both very proud. I think we've both
Speaker 1: done this. We've done the radio cycle, which is very
Speaker 1: rare to do these days because there's not a lot
Speaker 1: of radio stations that have that available to do the
Speaker 1: entire radio cycle. And you're saying, hey, stupid, what is
Speaker 1: the radio cycle? What's kind of obvious? There are how
Speaker 1: many hours in the day, Danny twenty five. I'm not
Speaker 1: a numbers guy, but that doesn't seem to add up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so every hour spanning the globe or spanning the clock
Speaker 1: from twelve to twelve. We have been on morning drive,
Speaker 1: mid day, afternoon drive, night show, overnight show. We've done
Speaker 1: every shift possible, every one of them, every one of them,
Speaker 1: and my least favorite was the morning show. And I'd
Speaker 1: say the shift. I love the overnight shift because they
Speaker 1: leave me alone management. But the midday shift is pretty
Speaker 1: good too, because that's you don't usually have to deal
Speaker 1: with too much. The only problem with the midday shift
Speaker 1: is you have traffic going in and traffic going out
Speaker 1: of salespeople wandering around in and out of your studio. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't think the salespeople would recognize me if I
Speaker 1: was in a police lineup, so I don't have to
Speaker 1: worry about that. Not at a national level, we don't
Speaker 1: have salespeople wandering around. But like, say you were just
Speaker 1: doing radio in I don't know, give me a city, Pittsburgh.
Speaker 1: If you were doing radio in Pittsburgh on an FM
Speaker 1: sports talk, you would have a local salesperson and general
Speaker 1: sales manager walk into your studio and bug you about
Speaker 1: stuff while you were doing your show. Oh yeah, no,
Speaker 1: we I had that, and I did the midday show
Speaker 1: in La at the old AM eleven fifty, which is
Speaker 1: now a conservative political station, but it was a sports
Speaker 1: station and sales guys would come in. It's like, hey,
Speaker 1: I've got a I got a potential advertiser. Can you
Speaker 1: meet with them or can you do a spec spot
Speaker 1: for them? Or yeah, kind of one lag up we
Speaker 1: have doing national radio is the salespeople that work with
Speaker 1: us all do it through email because they're in different cities. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're all over the place. But it's a it's a
Speaker 1: double edged sword, right, because you do local stuff, you
Speaker 1: get sometimes you actually get more opportunity to get goodies.
Speaker 1: Oh perks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we don't have as many opportunities,
Speaker 1: which you know, give some. It's to give and take
Speaker 1: because when we are both doing local radio. Half the
Speaker 1: ship we owned was traded with clients. Oh yeah, no,
Speaker 1: it was wonderful. Man, I got so much free ship
Speaker 1: back in the day. It was it was great. It
Speaker 1: was a barter blooza. Yeah, well it's really good all right. Anyway,
Speaker 1: on this podcast, we have the sixth sense radio trickery,
Speaker 1: the swing shift, backscratcher, pop goes the culture and if
Speaker 1: we have time, scientifically so a lot of content in
Speaker 1: one podcast, but we'll start with this. So this is
Speaker 1: one of the five craziest stories, one of the five
Speaker 1: craziest things that has happened to me. And I have
Speaker 1: not told this story before to anyone. I'm gonna tell
Speaker 1: you listening. I'm gonna tell Danny, obviously because he's on
Speaker 1: the show. But I've never told anyone in this story
Speaker 1: on any audio platform. And it starts like every fairy tale,
Speaker 1: once upon a time, like last week, it was a
Speaker 1: normal night. There wasn't anything magical about it. I got
Speaker 1: off the radio show. I was doing the show from
Speaker 1: the home studio. So I turned off the magic radio box.
Speaker 1: I walked out of the home studio. I closed the
Speaker 1: door behind me. I walked down the hall. I made
Speaker 1: a left turn, and then I made another turn. I
Speaker 1: walked down some stairs and I went around the corner
Speaker 1: there and I arrived at the kitchen. And so at
Speaker 1: this point, Danny in the story, it was me morphing
Speaker 1: like a chameleon from gas bag to dishwasher. I was.
Speaker 1: I was Benny the dishwasher, the glamorous life of a
Speaker 1: big time radio guy. So yes, things have to be done.
Speaker 1: So I rinsed the dishes. I am methodical, I am surgical.
Speaker 1: When I'm doing the dishes, I make sure there's very
Speaker 1: little to any evidence that the dishes were even used before.
Speaker 1: I pretty much cleaned them before they go in the dishwasher.
Speaker 1: So I got all the pasta, all the sauce, all
Speaker 1: the gunk off the dishes and the plates and all that,
Speaker 1: cleaned everything put in the dishwasher. And we had some
Speaker 1: cast iron. But you know those cast iron pans that
Speaker 1: you cook in and stuff, So those were separate. So
Speaker 1: those the way you wash those, You can't put soap
Speaker 1: on them because it destroys the flavoring of the cast iron.
Speaker 1: So you clean them with just water and you have
Speaker 1: like this metal sponge thing you clean them. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: as a veteran dishwasher, I've done this many times. And
Speaker 1: then the final step to cleanse the dishes as you
Speaker 1: put them on the stove and then you turn on
Speaker 1: the stove and then the fire makes them good. Right,
Speaker 1: any kind of bacteria or anything is burned away from
Speaker 1: the fire. So that's the way to do it. So fine,
Speaker 1: So I did all that. I grabbed the car key,
Speaker 1: I got my gym stuff, I head all out the
Speaker 1: door to the gym. It's about a five to seven
Speaker 1: minute drive from the Mallard mansion to the gym. I
Speaker 1: would like you to know that it's now been multiple
Speaker 1: years since the treadmill that I I beloved treadmill Danny
Speaker 1: when we moved, and I had said on the podcast,
Speaker 1: I said, I don't think that treadmill is going to
Speaker 1: survive the move, and my wife and everyone said, oh no,
Speaker 1: it'll be fine. Still not working. So I'm still bummed
Speaker 1: about that. I love that treadmill. But anyway, so I
Speaker 1: go to the gym five to seven minute drive. I
Speaker 1: get there, I toss my stuff on the locker. They
Speaker 1: have these lockers that are like daylockers, hold whatever. So
Speaker 1: I hopped a story about those before. Exactly I've forgotten
Speaker 1: the code, so yeah, so I make sure to double
Speaker 1: check the code. So I hop on the treadmill and
Speaker 1: I am sweating. The gym is empty. There's some senile people,
Speaker 1: there's some drug addicts, and there's some random women wearing
Speaker 1: wearing way too much makeup that I don't know why
Speaker 1: they're there at that time whatever. So I'm in there
Speaker 1: doing my thing. I'm watching random YouTube videos on my phone,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, all right, this is a necessary evil.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll get a couple extra minutes of life out
Speaker 1: of this at some point down the line. Maybe not,
Speaker 1: who knows. So I'm unwinding, and I still remember I
Speaker 1: looked at the timer. I said, a timer to see
Speaker 1: how long I'm gonna be on the treadmill, and I
Speaker 1: I tried it about eighty minutes. So I'm twenty minutes in,
Speaker 1: twenty seconds into the timer, and all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: in my head, I see this image flash in front
Speaker 1: of my eyes and it was like a fire. It
Speaker 1: was like an inferno right pops into my head, Like
Speaker 1: what the fuck is that? You know, I'm just trying
Speaker 1: to work out, you know. And and as I was
Speaker 1: daydreaming or something like that, and it didn't leave my head,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm kept seeing these images of fire,
Speaker 1: and it got stronger, and then I had a come
Speaker 1: to Jesus moment, Danny, I had a quantum leap. And
Speaker 1: I don't know how this happened. It hit me, Holy fuck,
Speaker 1: I may have left the stove on at the Mallard mansion.
Speaker 1: Oh no, yeah, like I wasn't I wasn't sure you
Speaker 1: know you you thought of something, but you're not really sure,
Speaker 1: like the moment it hits you too. Yeah, I then
Speaker 1: flashed back. I was a cub Scout and a boy Scout,
Speaker 1: and I learned in the boy Scouts it's to be
Speaker 1: safe and sorry. So I jumped off the treadmill, and
Speaker 1: this thing's just going through my head like there's fire
Speaker 1: and I'm thinking of fire and smoke, and so I
Speaker 1: grabbed my car key, I empty the locker, I sprint
Speaker 1: out the door. It's raining. I go to the mallarmobile
Speaker 1: at a little sweat because I just kind of got
Speaker 1: a little sweat going. It's raining. I'm driving through the rain.
Speaker 1: It's no one's on the road, pedal to the metal.
Speaker 1: It's like speed racer. I get to the house and
Speaker 1: I break the spacetime continuum. I roll in to the
Speaker 1: front door. I have just like in the movies, Danny,
Speaker 1: I have trouble opening the front door to the house,
Speaker 1: right because I'm so flustered. And yeah, you dropped the keys.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, So I screwed that up and then opened
Speaker 1: the door and the smell of burning, I don't know what,
Speaker 1: was overwhelming burning, And sure enough, my dumb ass. Danny
Speaker 1: had left the stove on to clean the pot, and
Speaker 1: fortunately I made it there. If I had not had
Speaker 1: that pop into my head, I can only imagine what
Speaker 1: kind of horrific situation would have happened at the At
Speaker 1: the Mallard mansion, there was no fire, but it was
Speaker 1: this nasty smell of like chemicals. I don't know what
Speaker 1: it was from the pot and the blistering hot pan,
Speaker 1: and I avoid the fire. The moral of the story, Danny,
Speaker 1: it's a teachable moment here is, do not do the
Speaker 1: dishes when you're half asleep and about to go to
Speaker 1: the gym, and always double check you turned the stove off. Dot.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It was like a sixth then says
Speaker 1: that happened he Danny, It just popped into my head randomly,
Speaker 1: And my wife said it was probably my subconscious that
Speaker 1: popped in. Hey, dumbass, I don't know it was a
Speaker 1: higher power or what back of my brain, but me
Speaker 1: and am I grateful Danny because that could have really
Speaker 1: gone a bad, bad place. I have the solution for
Speaker 1: that never happening. What's that, Danny, I do not do
Speaker 1: the dishes. Well, that is a way to avoid it. Now,
Speaker 1: who does the dishes at the at the house there,
Speaker 1: do you now? My wife he loads the dishwasher. But
Speaker 1: what we do to help her is we clean our
Speaker 1: dishes really well and then put them in the What
Speaker 1: is it? Do you have a sink rack? I do
Speaker 1: have a nice rack. Tire Iraq hi iraq dot com.
Speaker 1: There you go. You know they test their own tires.
Speaker 1: Did you know that? Yeah? There you go, and they've
Speaker 1: got over ten thousand This is amazing, Danny, ten thousand
Speaker 1: uh tires from may you wake up sometimes reciting tire
Speaker 1: rack reads. I know all the names of tires. I
Speaker 1: only knew like two names of tires when this started.
Speaker 1: The sponsorship with Tirak, I can now name Brettisteine and
Speaker 1: Kumo and all the different kinds of tires that are out.
Speaker 1: We die laughing. Still, Rob Parker's still trying to pronounce
Speaker 1: most of the tires. Whenever there's a fill in host
Speaker 1: for Chris Brussard, Parker says, you go ahead and do
Speaker 1: the tire irak reads. Oh yeah, yeah. When I filled
Speaker 1: in for Broussard at the Super Bowl, I was the
Speaker 1: tire rat guy. Yep, that was that was my gig.
Speaker 1: I was mister tire rack. I was like, wow, he
Speaker 1: wants me to do the read. That's right kind of
Speaker 1: that's a that's a big thing. Uh yeah, yeah, well
Speaker 1: Rob should do Nanny is a little radio trickery, That's
Speaker 1: what he ought to do, because then you can nail
Speaker 1: the commercial if you do that radio trickery. You know,
Speaker 1: this is an old radio trick that I'm about to
Speaker 1: talk about, and I've heard you do it on your
Speaker 1: live radio show. Now. I haven't told any stories about
Speaker 1: the classroom recently, and you know, it's been a wet,
Speaker 1: rainy wonderland at the school. The kids, I think have
Speaker 1: gotten used to it, although one of them told me
Speaker 1: last week, is it ever gonna stop raining? And I
Speaker 1: told him, yeah, you're gonna look back at this and
Speaker 1: you're gonna say, man, that one year I was in
Speaker 1: sixth grade, it rained like crazy and there was even
Speaker 1: a tornado in La And I said, because you're never
Speaker 1: gonna see rain like this again for the rest of
Speaker 1: your lifetime if you hang around southern California. So the
Speaker 1: room has very much been a warm hiding spot kids
Speaker 1: in the morning, you know, they'll come in, shake their
Speaker 1: umbrellas off, take their raincode off, and they b line
Speaker 1: right to the Wii, right to the video games where
Speaker 1: they battled each other every morning. Now I've told the
Speaker 1: story about how competitive some of these kids get with
Speaker 1: the video games in my morning classroom. Not a super
Speaker 1: hard job, but I gotta make sure that there's no
Speaker 1: bad language that obviously these kids are all getting along
Speaker 1: with each other. And you know, other than that, I
Speaker 1: leave them alone. I let them do their thing. As
Speaker 1: you know, Ben, when they get to be sixth, seventh,
Speaker 1: eighth grade, just kind of be cool with them, let
Speaker 1: them have fun. And when you need to interject, you know,
Speaker 1: you take action. And with me, I can just give
Speaker 1: him a look and they know, oh shit, he heard
Speaker 1: what I just said. They'll they'll kind of get in line. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But this one girl, and I will change her name
Speaker 1: to protect the innocent and the guilty. Let's let's say
Speaker 1: her name is give me a girl's name, Daisy, All Daisy,
Speaker 1: Let's call her Daisy. She comes in and she has
Speaker 1: a grand entrance every single morning. Her backpack is actually
Speaker 1: a roller bag, like she is in a hurry at
Speaker 1: an airport. She wheels this bag in, slams the door open,
Speaker 1: runs with the bag into the classroom, slams the bag
Speaker 1: down by one of the desks and says, I'm here, bitches.
Speaker 1: But she's going to be a piece of work the
Speaker 1: rest of her life. Man, that's not going to change.
Speaker 1: That's only gonna get worse. That's too Yeah. So it
Speaker 1: is the loudest entrance every morning, and every time she
Speaker 1: says bitches, she turns and looks at me because she
Speaker 1: knows she shouldn't be saying that as her entrance. But
Speaker 1: it's the same thing every morning. So when I see
Speaker 1: her or hear her rather entering the classroom, I'm like, oh, man,
Speaker 1: here comes Daisy. This nice, relaxed morning is about to
Speaker 1: take a turn. Instantly, she's like, give me one of
Speaker 1: the controllers. They know her, so they're like, oh, wait,
Speaker 1: your turn. You know, I'm almost done with this game.
Speaker 1: You could be in line after so and so. And
Speaker 1: she's like, yeah, yeah, but I'm a seventh grader. You're
Speaker 1: just a little shitty sixth grader. I'm next. Oh boy.
Speaker 1: She gets a controller and as she's battling one of
Speaker 1: the other kids on this video game, she says, you
Speaker 1: stupid homosexual, oh boy, And bet I don't know how
Speaker 1: a lot of these kids have been raised, but the
Speaker 1: look on their faces was like she said the C word,
Speaker 1: blank my, blank and blank you. They all in Unison
Speaker 1: turned and looked at me at my desk like she
Speaker 1: said the worst word they had ever heard in their lives.
Speaker 1: And I said, okay, I know, and she's like, what
Speaker 1: what's wrong with that word? She's like, there's nothing wrong
Speaker 1: with being homosexual? Is there? And then she turned and
Speaker 1: looked at the kids that were offended. So now it's
Speaker 1: the old Segnfeld bit, right, not that there's anything wrong
Speaker 1: with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. And I told her,
Speaker 1: I said, Daisy, I know I've said this too before,
Speaker 1: but find a different way to express yourself. And she's
Speaker 1: like all right. And so she continues on playing the
Speaker 1: video game and the next time she gets into it
Speaker 1: with whoever she was battling on her controller, she says, Ben,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna appreciate this an old radio tricks, you
Speaker 1: stupid Homo one one thousand two, one thousand, Stapien. That's great.
Speaker 1: That's a sharp kid, Now, get Daisy. Yeah, yeah, the
Speaker 1: old radio trick. Yeah, you used it for asshole a lot, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: Because I was told you can't say asshole, but you
Speaker 1: can't say ass one one thousand and two, one thousand three,
Speaker 1: that hole, you can do that. Yeah, and uh oh yeah.
Speaker 1: Back in the old days, we used to have such fun.
Speaker 1: We would be like, uh, there was a local radio
Speaker 1: show in LA that was a hockey show, and the
Speaker 1: boss thought it would be funny to call the big pucking'
Speaker 1: uh you know, a hockey show or whatever. Well, even
Speaker 1: with Eddie, we have a segment on the show we
Speaker 1: call puck the world yea, which is it's great because
Speaker 1: people hear the word puck and they think of something else.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the other word is. And yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's always fun. That's it was just I gotta
Speaker 1: kick out of it because when she did that pause,
Speaker 1: she's gonna be on the radio someday. She just pulled
Speaker 1: a radio trick that she didn't even know it was
Speaker 1: an old radio trick. That's hilarious. That's funny. That's good.
Speaker 1: See the next generation, the generations after us there, they're
Speaker 1: continuing the tradition. Danny, I'd love to hear it. So
Speaker 1: the swing ship thing real quick, this is not gonna
Speaker 1: be a long thing. I just wanted to mention. I
Speaker 1: baked a ton of cookies. We talked about. I sent
Speaker 1: a fair amount of photos. There were three different types
Speaker 1: of cookies that I made. My wife had a Saint
Speaker 1: Patti's Day weekend party thing, and so I made some
Speaker 1: green frosted cookies. Yeah, they came out pretty good. I
Speaker 1: was happy with how they came out. I loved those
Speaker 1: ones with the frosty, and that's my go to cookies.
Speaker 1: So my wife had a party. Was her family, None
Speaker 1: of my you know family was there whatever, So that's fine.
Speaker 1: You know, we're through marriage. We're all family. We get
Speaker 1: along with everybody at a good time. But I was
Speaker 1: on the swing shift, Danny. I I pulled the ultimate
Speaker 1: Uncle Benny move, and me and my fellow uncle gentleman
Speaker 1: named Chris, we determined that we needed to go down
Speaker 1: to the neighborhood park with all the kids. So we
Speaker 1: we riled up. We got all the kids together and
Speaker 1: there was a pack of four kids and we wandered
Speaker 1: down the street, cross a big, big thoroughfare there and
Speaker 1: then hung out at the park and trying to keep track.
Speaker 1: I can only imagine what you do, Danny at work,
Speaker 1: because these are kids that I know, their family, and
Speaker 1: there's like a kid over here, a kid over there,
Speaker 1: a kid in the back. Like they're all over the place.
Speaker 1: They're running wild. Some kids want to be on the
Speaker 1: swing set, others want to be playing in the sand.
Speaker 1: Then there's a kid on some kind of play set
Speaker 1: over here. They're like all over the place. It was nuts,
Speaker 1: So I'm trying to keep track. But I did do
Speaker 1: the ultimate on the swing shift in order to get
Speaker 1: them to take a photo because I was like, this
Speaker 1: would be a great photo. These kids are gonna be
Speaker 1: all the annoying teenagers and adults soon. So I said,
Speaker 1: the way to do. I gotta get a good photo.
Speaker 1: So I bartered to deal with them, and I told
Speaker 1: them Danny, I said, listen, we're about to leave right now,
Speaker 1: but if you take a photo together, you get an
Speaker 1: extra thirty minutes. Oh wow. Yeah, And you know, Danny,
Speaker 1: on kid time, thirty minutes is a long oh yeah,
Speaker 1: a lout of time when you're on kid time. And
Speaker 1: so they were like totally cool, and it was It
Speaker 1: was great because they I had them all kind of
Speaker 1: standing on these rocks sitting. A couple of kids were
Speaker 1: sitting on the rocks and my nephew. He was like
Speaker 1: pouring sands. So it was he's a little, you know,
Speaker 1: a little a little ball of trouble there. So it
Speaker 1: was cool. It was a lot of fun. It was
Speaker 1: my Now, what a difference right between the equipment they
Speaker 1: have on the playground these days and what we had
Speaker 1: with those rusted slides and some of those death traps. Yeah, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: we had. I'll never forget growing up in Irvine. We
Speaker 1: had a there was this slide I think it was
Speaker 1: Heritage Park and it was this massive thing that you
Speaker 1: could tell was probably built with extra construction stuff that
Speaker 1: they just had left over, and they're like, we want
Speaker 1: to make a park, and so it was this long,
Speaker 1: it was this large tower and it had it was
Speaker 1: way too high for little kids, but it had chain
Speaker 1: link so you couldn't fall through. But it had become
Speaker 1: rusted and they had this giant slide and it was
Speaker 1: all just it smelled like disgusting bodily fluids and and
Speaker 1: that was our That was our playground. That was like
Speaker 1: where we hung out. And yeah, now everything's got those
Speaker 1: little rubber tire pieces and every safe. Oh dude, everything
Speaker 1: is totally safe. No more. I'm looking it up right now.
Speaker 1: Jungle gyms, metal slides, log swing, sand pits, rusted seesaws,
Speaker 1: ball pits. Remember you try to touch the like the stuff,
Speaker 1: and it would your hands would burn from the if
Speaker 1: it was during the summer. Yeah, they've even figured out
Speaker 1: a way to avoid it from getting too hot. Remember
Speaker 1: those things you would ride that had the coils, Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember a kid getting his fingers caught in the coils.
Speaker 1: It's nasty. Oh man, there was so much unsafe stuff
Speaker 1: at the parks we went to when we were little kids.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but you know we got hair on our
Speaker 1: chest because of that, right true, very true. We landed
Speaker 1: on tree bark and got you remember that tree bark
Speaker 1: everywhere at these old parks. Oh yeah. And I I
Speaker 1: was like, we just run through orange groves and where
Speaker 1: I grew up, and we just have orange fights, which
Speaker 1: is really awesome when you're a kid and you had
Speaker 1: you were in an orange fight, a chucking oranges each other,
Speaker 1: like you're Nolan Ryan and you have endless amounts of
Speaker 1: oranges like every nuts. Yeah, all on the ground. It's
Speaker 1: just it's just amazing. So that's where you got that
Speaker 1: thirty mile per hour softball pitch we saw you throw
Speaker 1: at the Bakersfield game. Well again, there is more one
Speaker 1: more than I learned this as a child. There's more
Speaker 1: than one way to peel an orange. There's more one
Speaker 1: way to get a batter out. The accuracy and the
Speaker 1: deception of the Mallard Bugs, Bunny lollipop efis pitch knuckleball.
Speaker 1: It's almost like you're one of the Necro brothers. I
Speaker 1: don't know what you're talking about. More like Tom Candiotti,
Speaker 1: I would say more like that. Yeah, there are no
Speaker 1: knuckleball pitchers left in baseball. What's up with that? You're right,
Speaker 1: they're all gone. They've killed the knuckleball pitcher. The nerds
Speaker 1: have killed the knuckleball pitcher. That used to be the
Speaker 1: thing when I was a kid. And if you were
Speaker 1: a pitcher that was kind of a tweener. You couldn't
Speaker 1: make it in the major leagues, but you had some ability.
Speaker 1: You were kind of in between. They called them a
Speaker 1: four A player, where you were better than triple A,
Speaker 1: but you weren't good enough for the major leagues. The
Speaker 1: two tricks, you remember, the two tricks they would do.
Speaker 1: The one of them was the knuckleball. The other one
Speaker 1: was they would try to have you throw like either
Speaker 1: underhand or sidearm oh side arm yeah, yeah, yeah, try
Speaker 1: to make you a sidewinder. And I don't even know
Speaker 1: that they do that much anymore. Yeah. I was gonna say,
Speaker 1: are there even any sidewinders left? There's no more Dennis
Speaker 1: Eckersley's yeah, or even There was a guy named Mark
Speaker 1: Korn Do you remember him? Pitched in the eighties. There
Speaker 1: were a few guys like that in the in the
Speaker 1: eighties and nineties. Yeah, one of the great closers of
Speaker 1: that year for the Royals, This guy named Dan Quisenberry.
Speaker 1: I haven't heard that name in years. Holy shit. I
Speaker 1: actually heard his name a couple weeks ago because we
Speaker 1: did a story and I don't know that we mentioned
Speaker 1: it on this podcast, but there was a story that
Speaker 1: they had determined a bunch of baseball players in the
Speaker 1: nineteen eighties died from brain cancer, right, a bunch of
Speaker 1: Philadelphia Philly players died of brain cancer, and they were
Speaker 1: trying to figure out what had happened. Like there was
Speaker 1: this pack of Philly players played the eighties and the nineties,
Speaker 1: and they determined the reporter in Philly for the newspaper
Speaker 1: that the Inquirer. I think it was they got a
Speaker 1: sample of the turf from Veteran Stadium. They sent it
Speaker 1: to a lab and they determined that the AstroTurf of
Speaker 1: the nineteen eighties had all these chemicals. It was like
Speaker 1: the AstroTurf equivalent of asbestos. Yeah, but it gets even
Speaker 1: stranger than that, Danny. It only happened to the baseball players.
Speaker 1: It didn't happen to the football players. So they were like, well,
Speaker 1: wait a minute. The Eagles played there, and nobody on
Speaker 1: the Eagles suffered from this. Why is it only a
Speaker 1: baseball And so they determined that it had to be
Speaker 1: a really hot day and if if it was really
Speaker 1: hot in the summer, the chemicals would be released from
Speaker 1: the AstroTurf. Yeah. And when they say not to drink
Speaker 1: from a water bottle, plastic water bottle when it's been
Speaker 1: in the hot sun because the heat can release chemicals, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: And I talked to my friend Bob Fesco in Kansas City.
Speaker 1: He pointed out the Royals in the nineteen eighties, who
Speaker 1: used to have really good teams. They had their manager
Speaker 1: Dick Howser and Dan Quissenberry both died of cancer, and
Speaker 1: they think they don't know for sure, but they think
Speaker 1: it's the same thing. They used the same There was
Speaker 1: one company that made the AstroTurf back in those days,
Speaker 1: and they think that's the same thing that happened. Is
Speaker 1: really hot in Kansas City. I don't know if anybody
Speaker 1: in the Saint Louis Cardinals. He gets hot in Saint Louis, Cincinnati,
Speaker 1: places like that, but pretty wild. Backscratcher, backscratcher. Did we
Speaker 1: get any reviews this week? Danny? Did we get zero, one,
Speaker 1: two or four? That's quite the range. Yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say two, Danny, come on down. The price is right,
Speaker 1: you win, yeah, yeah, well you win the chance to
Speaker 1: hear me read the reviews, and you know these are
Speaker 1: very serious reviews. This one comes from DJ Hung Well Hung, well,
Speaker 1: what's up? Yeah? Yeah, my favorite DJ, the man enjoy Me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's a DJ on one of the porn sites. Anyway.
Speaker 1: He says he heard me on Zabe. He says, get
Speaker 1: Zabe on the fifth hour. I loved the crossover. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so Steve Zaban before you were at Fox Sports Radio, Danny,
Speaker 1: he was our morning guy. Okay, And this goes back
Speaker 1: probably thirteen years or so, and we're radio friends. And
Speaker 1: Zabe is a big radio star in Milwaukee, and he's
Speaker 1: done a lot of stuff in Washington, d C. And
Speaker 1: he goes back and forth between those cities and he's
Speaker 1: been a long time morning guy and radio guy. And
Speaker 1: so he has his own podcast which is a spinoff
Speaker 1: of his morning show in Milwaukee, and it's called the Zabecast.
Speaker 1: And he didn't he didn't invited me on, and the
Speaker 1: schedule didn't really work out. We finally logistically worked everything out,
Speaker 1: so I did make a rare and appropriate appearance on
Speaker 1: the Zabecast. Had a blast. It's a lot of fun
Speaker 1: telling old stories with Steve and talking about some of
Speaker 1: the stuff so and Zabe said he's willing to do
Speaker 1: it to come on our show. So I do have
Speaker 1: to answer DJ Hungwell, I'm sure that's his real name.
Speaker 1: I will, Yeah, I will reach out to one of
Speaker 1: Zab's burner names. Yeah, that's true. That's a good point.
Speaker 1: Next up on the Backscratcher. You scratch our back, We'll
Speaker 1: scratch your back. And this is on the Apple podcast page.
Speaker 1: If you look at the description of the podcast on
Speaker 1: the main podcast page you're looking at on your device,
Speaker 1: It's very simple, and this is the thing that management checks,
Speaker 1: so it's a simple way. All you have to do
Speaker 1: is spend a couple of minutes filling out a quick review.
Speaker 1: And can you can even put a silly name in there,
Speaker 1: like DJ Hung, Well, it doesn't matter and that helps
Speaker 1: us out. Flagstaff Mike writes in he says five year
Speaker 1: teas the headline what wonderful shows. I listen to every
Speaker 1: podcast of the Ben Mallow Show in the fifth hour
Speaker 1: along with Danny g I have to because I'm waiting
Speaker 1: for Ben to finish a five year tease about Darryl
Speaker 1: Strawberry's reaction to La being surrounded by fire. He says,
Speaker 1: I happen to see that interview live. Very funny. That's
Speaker 1: from Flagstaff, Mike. Will you just keep listening, Mike, and
Speaker 1: at some point, at some point, we will make your
Speaker 1: dreams come true. Man, Now that is a professional radio tease. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just five years. You gotta leave it. You gotta leave
Speaker 1: them hanging a little bits. What you gotta do? All right,
Speaker 1: pop goes the culture A little time for popcos of
Speaker 1: the culture, and that means Ohio owl All right, thanks
Speaker 1: Ohio al. And what do you know about Beethoven. You
Speaker 1: know anything about Beethoven? Yeah, I saw that movie back
Speaker 1: in the day when we were little kids. Earth We're
Speaker 1: looking dog Beethoven, the the other Beethoven. Uh. It turns
Speaker 1: out they for some reason went back and analyzed Beethoven's DNA,
Speaker 1: the first ever analysis of Beethoven's DNA, and they have
Speaker 1: answered the mystery of how Beethoven died. See this, You
Speaker 1: want to take a guess what caused bee Beethoven, the
Speaker 1: legendary musician, all these years later that here we are
Speaker 1: and we're still talking about Beethoven. We talk about music,
Speaker 1: the Spanish flu. Uh yeah, No, So scientist had deciphered
Speaker 1: from Beethoven's genome from locks of his hair that he
Speaker 1: drank himself to death. Oh yeah, I should have thought
Speaker 1: of it. He is a musician, after all, the legendary
Speaker 1: composer had liver disease and hepatitis B, which were made
Speaker 1: worse by his heavy boozing. So Beethoven was an alcoholic,
Speaker 1: a functioning alcoholic who knew. And it's like if Paul
Speaker 1: and Rhode Island could compose music, if he could compose
Speaker 1: a phone call, that would be nice. Also, right, that
Speaker 1: would be solid well, here's something that's right out of
Speaker 1: a Star Wars or Star Trek type film. An alien
Speaker 1: mothership lurking in our Solar system could be watching us
Speaker 1: with tiny probes, according to what science fiction magazine? How
Speaker 1: about a Pentagon official. Ooh, a Pentagon official say what? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: a draft paper by a Harvard scientist had the head
Speaker 1: of the Pentagon's UFO office has has raised the idea
Speaker 1: of an alien mothership that could be in the Solar
Speaker 1: system right now, sending out tiny probes dubbed dandelion seeds
Speaker 1: to explore the planets. Went in, how about that? You
Speaker 1: think you think this is something? And you think this
Speaker 1: guy just did like ayahuasca with Aaron Rodgers and Joe Rogan.
Speaker 1: I don't know that's quite the story to make up
Speaker 1: out of thin air. Yeah, this comes from Harvard University
Speaker 1: and it has Sean M. Kirkpatrick, director of the Pentagon's
Speaker 1: All Domain Anomaly Resolution Office. Boy, that's a mouthful. A
Speaker 1: a ro O established in July of twenty twenty two
Speaker 1: by the Department of Defense the d D to direct
Speaker 1: and study objects of interest, and they released the draft
Speaker 1: earlier this month. It is not though an official Pentagon document,
Speaker 1: but was carried out in partnership with the Department of Defense,
Speaker 1: and they say it has not been pure reviewed. But
Speaker 1: that's pretty wild. This says aliens would likely want to
Speaker 1: explore rocky planets with an atmosphere in the soul. How
Speaker 1: you know this? Okay, So they don't think the probes
Speaker 1: are like gonna go inside humans. I don't think they're
Speaker 1: gonna go up your exit only. I don't think you
Speaker 1: have to worry about that. They are tiny. They are
Speaker 1: tiny probe, so it might not hurt. Oh man, I
Speaker 1: just took a big old probe. I understand, I understand.
Speaker 1: I think we're good on that. Right, We're we're up
Speaker 1: against the shitty way to end the show. It is
Speaker 1: definitely a shitty way to end the show. It is Saturday, Danny,
Speaker 1: anything specially you've got going on, anything you want to
Speaker 1: promote here. I've got a baby shower that I've been
Speaker 1: invited to. I'm very excited about that, Danny. I gotta
Speaker 1: tell you, make sure you dominate those games at the
Speaker 1: baby shower. Cannot wait. Will there be any games involving
Speaker 1: male genitalia? I do not know. I do not for
Speaker 1: our baby shower coming up in a couple of months.
Speaker 1: I told my wife, I said, make sure you include
Speaker 1: a game where you put a whole bunch of crunchy
Speaker 1: peanut butter inside disposable diapers. Oh, that's a good idea,
Speaker 1: and then you could What you should do is just
Speaker 1: have an inside joke and then you like say, I'll
Speaker 1: take care of that, and then you eat it. They
Speaker 1: want the people at the party. We're like, ohoa, man,
Speaker 1: that's disgusting. Oh I'm not even invited to her party.
Speaker 1: Her party is going to be women only. I don't
Speaker 1: understand how I'm invited to this. I thought I thought
Speaker 1: baby shower just supposed to be women all. Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: co ed ones and then there's ones where it's just
Speaker 1: the girls. Racist. She wanted to kind of keep it
Speaker 1: simple because I started booking a DJ, and I was
Speaker 1: gonna get like the dance floor you put together and
Speaker 1: you know, we're gonna bust out the caterpillar and the
Speaker 1: running man and all that. It started getting complicated. She said,
Speaker 1: you're out of this. It's all girls. Yeah, you just
Speaker 1: do You could do like the rain Dance, remember the race.
Speaker 1: What do you got going on today? Though? I got
Speaker 1: that going on? What do you got going on day? Oh,
Speaker 1: it's a simple Saturday for me. I am still working
Speaker 1: on Danny G Radio row Now. I cleaned a lot
Speaker 1: of the garage. You can't see it from your vantage
Speaker 1: point through our cameras here. But now that I've organized
Speaker 1: and cleaned, I need to buy a desk and start
Speaker 1: getting my workspace put together. Now, may I recommend offer
Speaker 1: Up and the free section. You'd be shocked at the
Speaker 1: kind of stuff you can get. You just have to
Speaker 1: have a truck to take it. Actually, the debt. One
Speaker 1: of the desks I have here in my in my
Speaker 1: studio I got for fifty bucks off offer Up. Nice
Speaker 1: great desk. It's like a you know, seven eight hundred
Speaker 1: dollars desk you have for fifty bucks. So great minds
Speaker 1: think alike. I was on that site last weekend looking around. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you'll find something, for sure. You gotta act fast though,
Speaker 1: that's the problem. I'll give you that stuff's not there.
Speaker 1: If it's good, it's gone pretty quick. So I will
Speaker 1: get out on that and don't forget the mail bag
Speaker 1: on Sunday, have a great rest of the day and
Speaker 1: enjoy the college hoops and the last weekend without real
Speaker 1: major League Baseball until late October. I guess yeah, pretty well, anyway,
Speaker 1: we'll catch you next time. Thank you, Austa Pasta bafolation