WEBVTT - The Fifth Hour: Lighting Up the North Woods 0:00:00.680 --> 0:00:04.960 Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred 0:00:05.000 --> 0:00:08.559 minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:12.200 remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. 0:00:12.360 --> 0:00:15.360 He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as 0:00:15.360 --> 0:00:18.640 the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow. It's a 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:22.640 clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special. The 0:00:22.840 --> 0:00:29.200 Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:36.040 air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny 0:00:36.120 --> 0:00:39.479 g Radio is back in your audio device, and we 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:44.360 thank you for finding the podcast the global reach of podcasting, 0:00:44.440 --> 0:00:47.879 because four hours a night on the overnight not enough 0:00:47.960 --> 0:00:50.440 for me. And Danny's got his hands full with Covino 0:00:50.479 --> 0:00:53.080 and Rich, but he has more time, more hot takes 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:59.080 to provide, even on a Saturday, Danny, even on a Saturday. Yeah, Man, 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:03.680 we don't rast. We don't sleep. Actually, I guess we 0:01:03.800 --> 0:01:07.320 sleep in increments. I slept for three hours the other 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:12.440 night straight. I fell asleep and I was so impressed. 0:01:12.480 --> 0:01:14.880 I was like, I didn't wake up once in those 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:20.080 three hours. Congratulations. That's what has it been. As you 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:23.319 get older, it is just harder and harder to sleep 0:01:23.480 --> 0:01:26.639 through a whole night. I've never been good at sleeping 0:01:26.720 --> 0:01:29.840 unless I drug myself. I blame my parents because my 0:01:30.520 --> 0:01:32.280 mom was not a good sleep. I think my dad 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:35.760 was an okay sleeper, but yeah, I'm just a terrible, 0:01:36.319 --> 0:01:39.720 terrible sleeper. We have that in common. My mom would 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:41.640 sleep for a couple hours when I was a kid, 0:01:41.680 --> 0:01:45.040 and she was good. She wandered around at night cleaning 0:01:45.120 --> 0:01:48.760 stuff like a weirdo. Yeah. I don't have the sleep gene. 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:52.120 My wife does, my pal my buddy does. The little 0:01:52.160 --> 0:01:54.400 guy he's got a great sleep, but I don't. I 0:01:54.520 --> 0:01:57.200 do not have the ability to sleep more than more 0:01:57.240 --> 0:01:59.520 a little bit. I guess it enables us to do 0:01:59.680 --> 0:02:02.720 radio any time of the day or night. That's right, 0:02:02.840 --> 0:02:04.880 as we are both very proud. I think we've both 0:02:04.960 --> 0:02:09.480 done this. We've done the radio cycle, which is very 0:02:09.600 --> 0:02:11.720 rare to do these days because there's not a lot 0:02:11.800 --> 0:02:14.359 of radio stations that have that available to do the 0:02:14.560 --> 0:02:17.280 entire radio cycle. And you're saying, hey, stupid, what is 0:02:17.280 --> 0:02:20.120 the radio cycle? What's kind of obvious? There are how 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:23.799 many hours in the day, Danny twenty five. I'm not 0:02:23.919 --> 0:02:26.720 a numbers guy, but that doesn't seem to add up. Yeah, 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:32.560 so every hour spanning the globe or spanning the clock 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:38.520 from twelve to twelve. We have been on morning drive, 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:44.720 mid day, afternoon drive, night show, overnight show. We've done 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:48.799 every shift possible, every one of them, every one of them, 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:52.920 and my least favorite was the morning show. And I'd 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:55.560 say the shift. I love the overnight shift because they 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:58.880 leave me alone management. But the midday shift is pretty 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:02.640 good too, because that's you don't usually have to deal 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:04.320 with too much. The only problem with the midday shift 0:03:04.400 --> 0:03:07.440 is you have traffic going in and traffic going out 0:03:08.120 --> 0:03:12.119 of salespeople wandering around in and out of your studio. Yeah. 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:15.639 I don't think the salespeople would recognize me if I 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:17.840 was in a police lineup, so I don't have to 0:03:17.919 --> 0:03:20.679 worry about that. Not at a national level, we don't 0:03:20.760 --> 0:03:24.519 have salespeople wandering around. But like, say you were just 0:03:24.760 --> 0:03:29.480 doing radio in I don't know, give me a city, Pittsburgh. 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:34.280 If you were doing radio in Pittsburgh on an FM 0:03:34.400 --> 0:03:38.600 sports talk, you would have a local salesperson and general 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:42.040 sales manager walk into your studio and bug you about 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:45.480 stuff while you were doing your show. Oh yeah, no, 0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:47.400 we I had that, and I did the midday show 0:03:47.720 --> 0:03:50.160 in La at the old AM eleven fifty, which is 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:53.040 now a conservative political station, but it was a sports 0:03:53.080 --> 0:03:56.480 station and sales guys would come in. It's like, hey, 0:03:56.560 --> 0:03:59.640 I've got a I got a potential advertiser. Can you 0:03:59.760 --> 0:04:02.480 meet with them or can you do a spec spot 0:04:02.600 --> 0:04:06.360 for them? Or yeah, kind of one lag up we 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:09.920 have doing national radio is the salespeople that work with 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:14.440 us all do it through email because they're in different cities. Yeah, 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:16.080 they're all over the place. But it's a it's a 0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:19.440 double edged sword, right, because you do local stuff, you 0:04:19.520 --> 0:04:23.960 get sometimes you actually get more opportunity to get goodies. 0:04:24.440 --> 0:04:28.320 Oh perks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we don't have as many opportunities, 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:31.000 which you know, give some. It's to give and take 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:33.840 because when we are both doing local radio. Half the 0:04:33.920 --> 0:04:38.600 ship we owned was traded with clients. Oh yeah, no, 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:41.320 it was wonderful. Man, I got so much free ship 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:43.680 back in the day. It was it was great. It 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:48.040 was a barter blooza. Yeah, well it's really good all right. Anyway, 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:53.000 on this podcast, we have the sixth sense radio trickery, 0:04:53.720 --> 0:04:57.120 the swing shift, backscratcher, pop goes the culture and if 0:04:57.160 --> 0:05:02.400 we have time, scientifically so a lot of content in 0:05:02.560 --> 0:05:06.120 one podcast, but we'll start with this. So this is 0:05:06.200 --> 0:05:08.960 one of the five craziest stories, one of the five 0:05:09.120 --> 0:05:13.120 craziest things that has happened to me. And I have 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:17.520 not told this story before to anyone. I'm gonna tell 0:05:17.600 --> 0:05:20.520 you listening. I'm gonna tell Danny, obviously because he's on 0:05:20.600 --> 0:05:23.479 the show. But I've never told anyone in this story 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:27.479 on any audio platform. And it starts like every fairy tale, 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:32.400 once upon a time, like last week, it was a 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:36.599 normal night. There wasn't anything magical about it. I got 0:05:36.640 --> 0:05:39.000 off the radio show. I was doing the show from 0:05:39.040 --> 0:05:41.960 the home studio. So I turned off the magic radio box. 0:05:42.800 --> 0:05:47.200 I walked out of the home studio. I closed the 0:05:47.240 --> 0:05:50.360 door behind me. I walked down the hall. I made 0:05:50.400 --> 0:05:53.760 a left turn, and then I made another turn. I 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:59.040 walked down some stairs and I went around the corner 0:05:59.160 --> 0:06:02.920 there and I arrived at the kitchen. And so at 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:07.240 this point, Danny in the story, it was me morphing 0:06:08.240 --> 0:06:13.000 like a chameleon from gas bag to dishwasher. I was. 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:18.000 I was Benny the dishwasher, the glamorous life of a 0:06:18.120 --> 0:06:22.200 big time radio guy. So yes, things have to be done. 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:26.360 So I rinsed the dishes. I am methodical, I am surgical. 0:06:27.400 --> 0:06:29.600 When I'm doing the dishes, I make sure there's very 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:32.680 little to any evidence that the dishes were even used before. 0:06:32.680 --> 0:06:35.080 I pretty much cleaned them before they go in the dishwasher. 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:38.640 So I got all the pasta, all the sauce, all 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:41.960 the gunk off the dishes and the plates and all that, 0:06:42.600 --> 0:06:45.840 cleaned everything put in the dishwasher. And we had some 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:50.120 cast iron. But you know those cast iron pans that 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:53.400 you cook in and stuff, So those were separate. So 0:06:53.680 --> 0:06:56.120 those the way you wash those, You can't put soap 0:06:56.200 --> 0:06:59.920 on them because it destroys the flavoring of the cast iron. 0:07:00.600 --> 0:07:03.080 So you clean them with just water and you have 0:07:03.200 --> 0:07:06.600 like this metal sponge thing you clean them. Yeah, and 0:07:06.760 --> 0:07:09.640 as a veteran dishwasher, I've done this many times. And 0:07:09.760 --> 0:07:14.840 then the final step to cleanse the dishes as you 0:07:14.960 --> 0:07:17.080 put them on the stove and then you turn on 0:07:17.200 --> 0:07:20.640 the stove and then the fire makes them good. Right, 0:07:20.680 --> 0:07:23.360 any kind of bacteria or anything is burned away from 0:07:23.360 --> 0:07:24.760 the fire. So that's the way to do it. So fine, 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:29.440 So I did all that. I grabbed the car key, 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:32.640 I got my gym stuff, I head all out the 0:07:32.720 --> 0:07:35.680 door to the gym. It's about a five to seven 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:41.120 minute drive from the Mallard mansion to the gym. I 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:43.200 would like you to know that it's now been multiple 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:47.800 years since the treadmill that I I beloved treadmill Danny 0:07:48.280 --> 0:07:51.760 when we moved, and I had said on the podcast, 0:07:51.840 --> 0:07:53.480 I said, I don't think that treadmill is going to 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:56.280 survive the move, and my wife and everyone said, oh no, 0:07:56.360 --> 0:08:01.040 it'll be fine. Still not working. So I'm still bummed 0:08:01.040 --> 0:08:02.920 about that. I love that treadmill. But anyway, so I 0:08:02.960 --> 0:08:05.520 go to the gym five to seven minute drive. I 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:09.480 get there, I toss my stuff on the locker. They 0:08:09.520 --> 0:08:13.400 have these lockers that are like daylockers, hold whatever. So 0:08:13.480 --> 0:08:16.520 I hopped a story about those before. Exactly I've forgotten 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:19.080 the code, so yeah, so I make sure to double 0:08:19.120 --> 0:08:21.880 check the code. So I hop on the treadmill and 0:08:22.120 --> 0:08:25.320 I am sweating. The gym is empty. There's some senile people, 0:08:25.440 --> 0:08:29.360 there's some drug addicts, and there's some random women wearing 0:08:29.480 --> 0:08:32.160 wearing way too much makeup that I don't know why 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:34.439 they're there at that time whatever. So I'm in there 0:08:34.520 --> 0:08:38.240 doing my thing. I'm watching random YouTube videos on my phone, 0:08:39.480 --> 0:08:42.280 and I'm just like, all right, this is a necessary evil. 0:08:42.480 --> 0:08:44.760 Maybe I'll get a couple extra minutes of life out 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:46.520 of this at some point down the line. Maybe not, 0:08:46.640 --> 0:08:50.719 who knows. So I'm unwinding, and I still remember I 0:08:50.800 --> 0:08:53.120 looked at the timer. I said, a timer to see 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:55.400 how long I'm gonna be on the treadmill, and I 0:08:55.800 --> 0:08:58.839 I tried it about eighty minutes. So I'm twenty minutes in, 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:02.400 twenty seconds into the timer, and all of a sudden, 0:09:02.480 --> 0:09:05.640 in my head, I see this image flash in front 0:09:05.640 --> 0:09:08.480 of my eyes and it was like a fire. It 0:09:08.520 --> 0:09:12.000 was like an inferno right pops into my head, Like 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:13.680 what the fuck is that? You know, I'm just trying 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:16.319 to work out, you know. And and as I was 0:09:16.440 --> 0:09:21.080 daydreaming or something like that, and it didn't leave my head, 0:09:21.160 --> 0:09:24.360 and I'm like, I'm kept seeing these images of fire, 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:28.800 and it got stronger, and then I had a come 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:35.000 to Jesus moment, Danny, I had a quantum leap. And 0:09:35.280 --> 0:09:39.240 I don't know how this happened. It hit me, Holy fuck, 0:09:39.840 --> 0:09:42.880 I may have left the stove on at the Mallard mansion. 0:09:43.840 --> 0:09:48.120 Oh no, yeah, like I wasn't I wasn't sure you 0:09:48.160 --> 0:09:50.440 know you you thought of something, but you're not really sure, 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:55.520 like the moment it hits you too. Yeah, I then 0:09:55.720 --> 0:09:58.280 flashed back. I was a cub Scout and a boy Scout, 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:00.319 and I learned in the boy Scouts it's to be 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:04.599 safe and sorry. So I jumped off the treadmill, and 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:08.040 this thing's just going through my head like there's fire 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:11.000 and I'm thinking of fire and smoke, and so I 0:10:11.120 --> 0:10:15.160 grabbed my car key, I empty the locker, I sprint 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:19.000 out the door. It's raining. I go to the mallarmobile 0:10:19.679 --> 0:10:21.520 at a little sweat because I just kind of got 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:25.199 a little sweat going. It's raining. I'm driving through the rain. 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:28.199 It's no one's on the road, pedal to the metal. 0:10:29.080 --> 0:10:32.199 It's like speed racer. I get to the house and 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:35.959 I break the spacetime continuum. I roll in to the 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:39.400 front door. I have just like in the movies, Danny, 0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:41.400 I have trouble opening the front door to the house, 0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:44.920 right because I'm so flustered. And yeah, you dropped the keys. 0:10:45.400 --> 0:10:49.760 Yeah yeah, So I screwed that up and then opened 0:10:49.800 --> 0:10:55.319 the door and the smell of burning, I don't know what, 0:10:55.679 --> 0:11:04.720 was overwhelming burning, And sure enough, my dumb ass. Danny 0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:09.800 had left the stove on to clean the pot, and 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:13.800 fortunately I made it there. If I had not had 0:11:13.880 --> 0:11:16.959 that pop into my head, I can only imagine what 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:22.080 kind of horrific situation would have happened at the At 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:24.520 the Mallard mansion, there was no fire, but it was 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:28.959 this nasty smell of like chemicals. I don't know what 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:32.560 it was from the pot and the blistering hot pan, 0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:36.720 and I avoid the fire. The moral of the story, Danny, 0:11:37.679 --> 0:11:40.280 it's a teachable moment here is, do not do the 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:43.719 dishes when you're half asleep and about to go to 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:48.880 the gym, and always double check you turned the stove off. Dot. 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:52.120 I don't know. It was like a sixth then says 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:54.880 that happened he Danny, It just popped into my head randomly, 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:59.079 And my wife said it was probably my subconscious that 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:01.839 popped in. Hey, dumbass, I don't know it was a 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:06.240 higher power or what back of my brain, but me 0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:08.640 and am I grateful Danny because that could have really 0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:13.760 gone a bad, bad place. I have the solution for 0:12:13.880 --> 0:12:17.199 that never happening. What's that, Danny, I do not do 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:23.000 the dishes. Well, that is a way to avoid it. Now, 0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:24.920 who does the dishes at the at the house there, 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:28.079 do you now? My wife he loads the dishwasher. But 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:30.600 what we do to help her is we clean our 0:12:30.679 --> 0:12:34.000 dishes really well and then put them in the What 0:12:34.240 --> 0:12:36.719 is it? Do you have a sink rack? I do 0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:44.480 have a nice rack. Tire Iraq hi iraq dot com. 0:12:44.679 --> 0:12:47.400 There you go. You know they test their own tires. 0:12:47.480 --> 0:12:50.000 Did you know that? Yeah? There you go, and they've 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:53.160 got over ten thousand This is amazing, Danny, ten thousand 0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:58.360 uh tires from may you wake up sometimes reciting tire 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:02.000 rack reads. I know all the names of tires. I 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:04.920 only knew like two names of tires when this started. 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:08.679 The sponsorship with Tirak, I can now name Brettisteine and 0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:14.280 Kumo and all the different kinds of tires that are out. 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:19.080 We die laughing. Still, Rob Parker's still trying to pronounce 0:13:19.200 --> 0:13:23.720 most of the tires. Whenever there's a fill in host 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:27.079 for Chris Brussard, Parker says, you go ahead and do 0:13:27.160 --> 0:13:29.840 the tire irak reads. Oh yeah, yeah. When I filled 0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:32.319 in for Broussard at the Super Bowl, I was the 0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:35.800 tire rat guy. Yep, that was that was my gig. 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:38.719 I was mister tire rack. I was like, wow, he 0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:40.199 wants me to do the read. That's right kind of 0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:44.000 that's a that's a big thing. Uh yeah, yeah, well 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:46.760 Rob should do Nanny is a little radio trickery, That's 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:48.440 what he ought to do, because then you can nail 0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:51.000 the commercial if you do that radio trickery. You know, 0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:53.959 this is an old radio trick that I'm about to 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:57.240 talk about, and I've heard you do it on your 0:13:57.400 --> 0:14:00.920 live radio show. Now. I haven't told any stories about 0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:04.760 the classroom recently, and you know, it's been a wet, 0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:09.319 rainy wonderland at the school. The kids, I think have 0:14:09.480 --> 0:14:11.439 gotten used to it, although one of them told me 0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:15.520 last week, is it ever gonna stop raining? And I 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:18.160 told him, yeah, you're gonna look back at this and 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:20.920 you're gonna say, man, that one year I was in 0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:24.200 sixth grade, it rained like crazy and there was even 0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:27.680 a tornado in La And I said, because you're never 0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:29.960 gonna see rain like this again for the rest of 0:14:30.040 --> 0:14:34.080 your lifetime if you hang around southern California. So the 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:38.160 room has very much been a warm hiding spot kids 0:14:38.200 --> 0:14:41.040 in the morning, you know, they'll come in, shake their 0:14:41.120 --> 0:14:46.320 umbrellas off, take their raincode off, and they b line 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:49.200 right to the Wii, right to the video games where 0:14:49.240 --> 0:14:52.200 they battled each other every morning. Now I've told the 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:55.920 story about how competitive some of these kids get with 0:14:56.160 --> 0:15:00.280 the video games in my morning classroom. Not a super 0:15:00.360 --> 0:15:03.600 hard job, but I gotta make sure that there's no 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:07.400 bad language that obviously these kids are all getting along 0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:11.080 with each other. And you know, other than that, I 0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:13.680 leave them alone. I let them do their thing. As 0:15:13.760 --> 0:15:15.960 you know, Ben, when they get to be sixth, seventh, 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:19.720 eighth grade, just kind of be cool with them, let 0:15:19.800 --> 0:15:23.720 them have fun. And when you need to interject, you know, 0:15:24.000 --> 0:15:26.640 you take action. And with me, I can just give 0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:29.560 him a look and they know, oh shit, he heard 0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:33.360 what I just said. They'll they'll kind of get in line. Yeah. 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:36.640 But this one girl, and I will change her name 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:40.880 to protect the innocent and the guilty. Let's let's say 0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:46.360 her name is give me a girl's name, Daisy, All Daisy, 0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:51.920 Let's call her Daisy. She comes in and she has 0:15:52.080 --> 0:15:57.640 a grand entrance every single morning. Her backpack is actually 0:15:57.720 --> 0:16:00.680 a roller bag, like she is in a hurry at 0:16:00.720 --> 0:16:06.760 an airport. She wheels this bag in, slams the door open, 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:11.200 runs with the bag into the classroom, slams the bag 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:16.640 down by one of the desks and says, I'm here, bitches. 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:21.800 But she's going to be a piece of work the 0:16:21.880 --> 0:16:23.520 rest of her life. Man, that's not going to change. 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:27.160 That's only gonna get worse. That's too Yeah. So it 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:31.080 is the loudest entrance every morning, and every time she 0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:34.720 says bitches, she turns and looks at me because she 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:38.680 knows she shouldn't be saying that as her entrance. But 0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:40.960 it's the same thing every morning. So when I see 0:16:41.040 --> 0:16:46.040 her or hear her rather entering the classroom, I'm like, oh, man, 0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:50.440 here comes Daisy. This nice, relaxed morning is about to 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:53.880 take a turn. Instantly, she's like, give me one of 0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:57.360 the controllers. They know her, so they're like, oh, wait, 0:16:57.440 --> 0:17:00.280 your turn. You know, I'm almost done with this game. 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:03.040 You could be in line after so and so. And 0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:05.640 she's like, yeah, yeah, but I'm a seventh grader. You're 0:17:05.680 --> 0:17:10.200 just a little shitty sixth grader. I'm next. Oh boy. 0:17:10.920 --> 0:17:14.359 She gets a controller and as she's battling one of 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:18.000 the other kids on this video game, she says, you 0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:24.680 stupid homosexual, oh boy, And bet I don't know how 0:17:25.359 --> 0:17:28.080 a lot of these kids have been raised, but the 0:17:28.240 --> 0:17:32.480 look on their faces was like she said the C word, 0:17:33.000 --> 0:17:37.640 blank my, blank and blank you. They all in Unison 0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:40.800 turned and looked at me at my desk like she 0:17:41.040 --> 0:17:44.520 said the worst word they had ever heard in their lives. 0:17:45.720 --> 0:17:49.600 And I said, okay, I know, and she's like, what 0:17:50.320 --> 0:17:53.280 what's wrong with that word? She's like, there's nothing wrong 0:17:53.400 --> 0:17:56.960 with being homosexual? Is there? And then she turned and 0:17:57.040 --> 0:18:01.400 looked at the kids that were offended. So now it's 0:18:01.400 --> 0:18:04.800 the old Segnfeld bit, right, not that there's anything wrong 0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:08.399 with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. And I told her, 0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:11.480 I said, Daisy, I know I've said this too before, 0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:15.840 but find a different way to express yourself. And she's 0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:20.200 like all right. And so she continues on playing the 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:23.240 video game and the next time she gets into it 0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:27.040 with whoever she was battling on her controller, she says, Ben, 0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:31.600 and you're gonna appreciate this an old radio tricks, you 0:18:31.920 --> 0:18:40.119 stupid Homo one one thousand two, one thousand, Stapien. That's great. 0:18:43.240 --> 0:18:48.280 That's a sharp kid, Now, get Daisy. Yeah, yeah, the 0:18:48.359 --> 0:18:53.600 old radio trick. Yeah, you used it for asshole a lot, right, Yeah, 0:18:53.600 --> 0:18:57.040 Because I was told you can't say asshole, but you 0:18:57.160 --> 0:18:59.920 can't say ass one one thousand and two, one thousand three, 0:19:00.280 --> 0:19:04.480 that hole, you can do that. Yeah, and uh oh yeah. 0:19:04.560 --> 0:19:06.720 Back in the old days, we used to have such fun. 0:19:06.800 --> 0:19:11.680 We would be like, uh, there was a local radio 0:19:11.760 --> 0:19:14.000 show in LA that was a hockey show, and the 0:19:14.119 --> 0:19:16.840 boss thought it would be funny to call the big pucking' 0:19:17.840 --> 0:19:20.480 uh you know, a hockey show or whatever. Well, even 0:19:20.560 --> 0:19:22.920 with Eddie, we have a segment on the show we 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:26.480 call puck the world yea, which is it's great because 0:19:26.520 --> 0:19:28.640 people hear the word puck and they think of something else. 0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:31.480 I don't know what the other word is. And yeah, 0:19:31.600 --> 0:19:34.440 so that's always fun. That's it was just I gotta 0:19:34.520 --> 0:19:37.320 kick out of it because when she did that pause, 0:19:38.400 --> 0:19:40.960 she's gonna be on the radio someday. She just pulled 0:19:41.000 --> 0:19:43.440 a radio trick that she didn't even know it was 0:19:43.520 --> 0:19:47.720 an old radio trick. That's hilarious. That's funny. That's good. 0:19:47.760 --> 0:19:50.520 See the next generation, the generations after us there, they're 0:19:50.560 --> 0:19:55.320 continuing the tradition. Danny, I'd love to hear it. So 0:19:55.480 --> 0:19:57.720 the swing ship thing real quick, this is not gonna 0:19:57.720 --> 0:20:00.040 be a long thing. I just wanted to mention. I 0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:02.560 baked a ton of cookies. We talked about. I sent 0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:05.440 a fair amount of photos. There were three different types 0:20:05.440 --> 0:20:08.639 of cookies that I made. My wife had a Saint 0:20:09.040 --> 0:20:12.359 Patti's Day weekend party thing, and so I made some 0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:17.440 green frosted cookies. Yeah, they came out pretty good. I 0:20:17.520 --> 0:20:19.600 was happy with how they came out. I loved those 0:20:19.680 --> 0:20:22.400 ones with the frosty, and that's my go to cookies. 0:20:22.440 --> 0:20:24.800 So my wife had a party. Was her family, None 0:20:24.840 --> 0:20:28.160 of my you know family was there whatever, So that's fine. 0:20:28.160 --> 0:20:30.239 You know, we're through marriage. We're all family. We get 0:20:30.240 --> 0:20:33.040 along with everybody at a good time. But I was 0:20:33.160 --> 0:20:36.879 on the swing shift, Danny. I I pulled the ultimate 0:20:37.040 --> 0:20:42.040 Uncle Benny move, and me and my fellow uncle gentleman 0:20:42.160 --> 0:20:45.480 named Chris, we determined that we needed to go down 0:20:45.640 --> 0:20:49.359 to the neighborhood park with all the kids. So we 0:20:49.800 --> 0:20:53.200 we riled up. We got all the kids together and 0:20:53.400 --> 0:20:58.040 there was a pack of four kids and we wandered 0:20:58.160 --> 0:21:02.359 down the street, cross a big, big thoroughfare there and 0:21:02.760 --> 0:21:07.040 then hung out at the park and trying to keep track. 0:21:07.480 --> 0:21:09.360 I can only imagine what you do, Danny at work, 0:21:09.440 --> 0:21:12.639 because these are kids that I know, their family, and 0:21:13.160 --> 0:21:15.440 there's like a kid over here, a kid over there, 0:21:15.760 --> 0:21:17.960 a kid in the back. Like they're all over the place. 0:21:18.160 --> 0:21:20.399 They're running wild. Some kids want to be on the 0:21:20.440 --> 0:21:22.480 swing set, others want to be playing in the sand. 0:21:22.800 --> 0:21:24.800 Then there's a kid on some kind of play set 0:21:24.840 --> 0:21:27.879 over here. They're like all over the place. It was nuts, 0:21:28.520 --> 0:21:30.560 So I'm trying to keep track. But I did do 0:21:30.680 --> 0:21:34.880 the ultimate on the swing shift in order to get 0:21:34.920 --> 0:21:36.320 them to take a photo because I was like, this 0:21:36.400 --> 0:21:38.080 would be a great photo. These kids are gonna be 0:21:38.680 --> 0:21:42.720 all the annoying teenagers and adults soon. So I said, 0:21:42.760 --> 0:21:44.119 the way to do. I gotta get a good photo. 0:21:44.640 --> 0:21:48.040 So I bartered to deal with them, and I told 0:21:48.080 --> 0:21:51.960 them Danny, I said, listen, we're about to leave right now, 0:21:52.280 --> 0:21:55.840 but if you take a photo together, you get an 0:21:55.880 --> 0:22:00.320 extra thirty minutes. Oh wow. Yeah, And you know, Danny, 0:22:00.400 --> 0:22:03.560 on kid time, thirty minutes is a long oh yeah, 0:22:03.960 --> 0:22:06.280 a lout of time when you're on kid time. And 0:22:06.480 --> 0:22:10.080 so they were like totally cool, and it was It 0:22:10.200 --> 0:22:13.119 was great because they I had them all kind of 0:22:13.160 --> 0:22:15.719 standing on these rocks sitting. A couple of kids were 0:22:15.720 --> 0:22:19.520 sitting on the rocks and my nephew. He was like 0:22:19.680 --> 0:22:22.240 pouring sands. So it was he's a little, you know, 0:22:22.240 --> 0:22:24.720 a little a little ball of trouble there. So it 0:22:24.800 --> 0:22:26.600 was cool. It was a lot of fun. It was 0:22:26.680 --> 0:22:30.040 my Now, what a difference right between the equipment they 0:22:30.119 --> 0:22:32.600 have on the playground these days and what we had 0:22:33.080 --> 0:22:39.120 with those rusted slides and some of those death traps. Yeah, yeah, exactly, 0:22:39.200 --> 0:22:43.399 we had. I'll never forget growing up in Irvine. We 0:22:43.600 --> 0:22:47.240 had a there was this slide I think it was 0:22:47.400 --> 0:22:52.159 Heritage Park and it was this massive thing that you 0:22:52.240 --> 0:22:55.080 could tell was probably built with extra construction stuff that 0:22:55.160 --> 0:22:57.480 they just had left over, and they're like, we want 0:22:57.480 --> 0:22:59.520 to make a park, and so it was this long, 0:22:59.600 --> 0:23:03.600 it was this large tower and it had it was 0:23:03.760 --> 0:23:06.840 way too high for little kids, but it had chain 0:23:07.000 --> 0:23:11.000 link so you couldn't fall through. But it had become 0:23:11.160 --> 0:23:15.119 rusted and they had this giant slide and it was 0:23:15.320 --> 0:23:22.560 all just it smelled like disgusting bodily fluids and and 0:23:23.000 --> 0:23:25.119 that was our That was our playground. That was like 0:23:25.160 --> 0:23:27.439 where we hung out. And yeah, now everything's got those 0:23:27.480 --> 0:23:33.000 little rubber tire pieces and every safe. Oh dude, everything 0:23:33.160 --> 0:23:36.399 is totally safe. No more. I'm looking it up right now. 0:23:36.960 --> 0:23:43.400 Jungle gyms, metal slides, log swing, sand pits, rusted seesaws, 0:23:44.000 --> 0:23:51.280 ball pits. Remember you try to touch the like the stuff, 0:23:51.320 --> 0:23:54.280 and it would your hands would burn from the if 0:23:54.280 --> 0:23:57.280 it was during the summer. Yeah, they've even figured out 0:23:57.320 --> 0:24:00.359 a way to avoid it from getting too hot. Remember 0:24:00.440 --> 0:24:04.080 those things you would ride that had the coils, Yes, yeah, 0:24:04.320 --> 0:24:07.280 I remember a kid getting his fingers caught in the coils. 0:24:09.480 --> 0:24:15.040 It's nasty. Oh man, there was so much unsafe stuff 0:24:15.080 --> 0:24:17.359