Speaker 1: She said she wants to go through the divorce. She's
Speaker 1: made it very clear. My question is how do I
Speaker 1: go about life and move on without her. We've been
Speaker 1: together seven to eight years and it seems like she
Speaker 1: doesn't want anymore. I'm lost, confused, and hurt. Christian Williamson
Speaker 1: on the podcast today, first time guest. Yeah, longtime friend.
Speaker 1: I'm talking months of friendship. We go way back. Christian
Speaker 1: is such a great dude, and I wanted him to
Speaker 1: be on this podcast to help me answer some of
Speaker 1: these questions with you guys, and to kind of walk
Speaker 1: through this. As you know, this style, if you've heard
Speaker 1: this before, is much like we're sitting around a campfire
Speaker 1: and there's three of us and you have a question,
Speaker 1: and me and Christian are here, and you go, man,
Speaker 1: thinking about something? Can I ask you guys something? What
Speaker 1: would you think about this? And without notes, without preparation,
Speaker 1: without an outline, We're just going to kind of walk
Speaker 1: through your questions. They could be lighthearted, they could be
Speaker 1: music related, they could be tour related. They could be
Speaker 1: relationship or job or or life. It really could be anything.
Speaker 1: Email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com, and we're gonna
Speaker 1: we're gonna get to that, and I have some today
Speaker 1: that I've pulled aside. Christian is an Alabama dude. First
Speaker 1: first guest on this podcast from Alabama. We've had a
Speaker 1: lot of different states, and I'm sure we have a
Speaker 1: lot of Alabama listeners. So are you a roll Tide
Speaker 1: or War Eagle? Guy, War Eagle or Eagle? That's right? Okay,
Speaker 1: aren't you glad to ask? I'm glad you have. You
Speaker 1: have to if that's it. And if you're from Alabama,
Speaker 1: you know you're either Roll Todt or war Eagle and
Speaker 1: you have to declare warn h what town are you from? From?
Speaker 1: Pel City, Alabama? Tale City, Hell City about thirty miles
Speaker 1: east burnam M. Does anyone know where that? It's comic
Speaker 1: below if you know where? Pale City? Hey you spelled
Speaker 1: Pale City, p e lll c C Pale City, gotcha? Yeah? Okay,
Speaker 1: that Alabama slaying in there, pale So you consider Birmingham
Speaker 1: kind of a home home base? Yeah, Birmingham's home base.
Speaker 1: I was raised in Bell City, but most of adult
Speaker 1: life was in Birmingham, and you know that's where I've
Speaker 1: worked at and did business there. So yeah, it's great.
Speaker 1: I'm met Christian through Celebration Church here in Georgetown, Texas.
Speaker 1: And we've actually had Pastor Joe or lead pastor. He's
Speaker 1: been on this podcast as a guest and h Amber
Speaker 1: and I. You might have seen Amber and I have
Speaker 1: done a lot of stuff with Celebration besides just attending.
Speaker 1: And you are a pastor there, what do you do
Speaker 1: at Celebration? Yeah, So my role Celebration is I'm the
Speaker 1: Georgetown campus pastor, so that's our broadcast campus and so
Speaker 1: I have the privilege of overseen the team and the
Speaker 1: dream Team there and leading them and it's a lot
Speaker 1: of fun. What's the dream Team? The Dream Team is
Speaker 1: the is the team of volunteers. It's church members that say, hey,
Speaker 1: I have a gift, I have a calling and I
Speaker 1: want to serve, I want to I want to use
Speaker 1: it in God's house. And so we steward that and
Speaker 1: we just allow them to come along and help us
Speaker 1: pull off Sundays so to speak. We can do without them.
Speaker 1: So how many are on the team, how many are
Speaker 1: on the Dream Team? Yeah, we're about five hundred active
Speaker 1: Dream Team Alan Georgetown Camp. That is amazing. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: that's amazing. We have we have like five here at
Speaker 1: the EE Farm volunteers staff. Yeah, stuff that stuff. So
Speaker 1: you are gonna help You're gonna switch gears today. You're
Speaker 1: doing the same business, really, you're just doing it on
Speaker 1: a different platform. And we're gonna go through some of
Speaker 1: these questions. I'm gonna I'm gonna have you help me
Speaker 1: with these, help me, help me pick some of these.
Speaker 1: But I should start, I should ease ourselves into these.
Speaker 1: You guys, let me say this when you when you
Speaker 1: ask these questions, I am I'm so humbled that you
Speaker 1: will trust Christian and I with these things. And we
Speaker 1: were talking, we had lunch right before this, and it's
Speaker 1: such it's such a a huge responsibility. But also I
Speaker 1: want you to know. You probably know that it's a
Speaker 1: big responsibility when you hear the questions. But what I
Speaker 1: do want you to know that you might not is
Speaker 1: that it's also such a privilege to be trusted with
Speaker 1: a sliver of your lives. As I don't like to
Speaker 1: consider us strangers for you listeners on here, but we
Speaker 1: have never met personally, most of us, and so I
Speaker 1: just I want to let you guys know that it's
Speaker 1: a huge privilege. So don't think of it as a burden.
Speaker 1: I enjoy it if I could help you in any
Speaker 1: way and give you some advice in any way, you
Speaker 1: don't have to take it. In fact, somebody emailed and
Speaker 1: said you better be prepared for lawsuits in case you're
Speaker 1: telling no, it's not about that. This is more of
Speaker 1: a friendship conversation. But I just want you guys to
Speaker 1: know that it is fulfilling to me to be able
Speaker 1: to talk through some of this stuff, though, right you
Speaker 1: understand that more than morning anywhere, Christian. How about this one?
Speaker 1: It says dreamcar. That's a subject. Hey, Grangeer, I'm justin
Speaker 1: from southeastern Michigan. My question is with money and need
Speaker 1: for family use aside, what would a vehicle be that
Speaker 1: you would like to buy and why? And then it
Speaker 1: says I do not want to hear about your sixty
Speaker 1: nine Charger right now. This is besides that, which is interesting.
Speaker 1: Justin has heard me talk before about a sixty nine
Speaker 1: Charger as being a dream car. But I'm confused at
Speaker 1: why he discounted that car right away this email. He
Speaker 1: must have a problem with that says thanks for your podcast.
Speaker 1: Has become my favorite to listen to because of the
Speaker 1: realness that you bring, love all the guests that you
Speaker 1: have on brother. Thank you so much. Shout out to
Speaker 1: Southeastern Michigan. Thanks for the email. I'm going to try
Speaker 1: to answer this without mentioning sixty nine charger, which is
Speaker 1: my favorite, because the duke's a hazard. Gosh, can you
Speaker 1: answer right on the top of your head. No, like
Speaker 1: the car, like, if there's any year, any make, any model, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's anything he says regards wardless of money, our need
Speaker 1: for the use for your family. Yeah, I mean it
Speaker 1: probably it might would be a Toyota Supro like that
Speaker 1: car like Brandon Jones who drove our stock car. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: So I'm thinking just being a nineties kid and growing
Speaker 1: up in the nineties, I just remember that was a
Speaker 1: cool sports car to have their twin turbo engine and
Speaker 1: six feet transmission, and in the nineties that was a lot.
Speaker 1: That was a big deal. Yeah yeah, all right, I
Speaker 1: think I'm gonna go with like a Ford F one
Speaker 1: hundred or some some older body square body or body Ford,
Speaker 1: or like a nineteen eighty three Chevrolet square body single cab.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go and I just what I just described
Speaker 1: was my granddad's truck. You bought it brand new in
Speaker 1: eighty three, which we still had that thing, but we don't.
Speaker 1: But yeah, i'mna go with that, and that's a good,
Speaker 1: good choice without answering sixty nine charter. Yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do one more. He's in us into it, and I'm
Speaker 1: preparing you, Christian for where we're going. I've seen some
Speaker 1: of these questions, this says playing overseas Grandeur. Have you
Speaker 1: ever had a chance to play for a non military
Speaker 1: crowd in Europe? If so, how is the pro America
Speaker 1: message and much of your music received. By the way,
Speaker 1: both of my boys are in the military, one station
Speaker 1: with one station in England. Let me know if you're
Speaker 1: planning to play at any bases in Europe, specifically England
Speaker 1: and our Let our oldest know he's a fan. Thank you, Mike, well, Mike,
Speaker 1: thank you for I have to say this, thank you
Speaker 1: for your service, which might might easily be overlooked. But
Speaker 1: as a father of two men that are serving, you
Speaker 1: are serving your country as well in a very important role.
Speaker 1: You're the father of these men, So thank you for
Speaker 1: your service. I have played many military shows in Europe
Speaker 1: and the Middle East, and only a few non military
Speaker 1: shows and that that was in France is the only
Speaker 1: country I've done non military shows in Western Europe, so
Speaker 1: not in England, but I want to do that. I
Speaker 1: would love to do that. We were actually planning, we
Speaker 1: had a tour planned for England in September of twenty twenty,
Speaker 1: and in March of twenty twenty. Obviously that got canceled.
Speaker 1: It got completely wiped out. So I haven't seen that
Speaker 1: same offer come back through, but we would love to
Speaker 1: do that. How about you, Christian, I know you've traveled
Speaker 1: a bunch. Yeah, I've traveled a pretty good bit, been
Speaker 1: to Europe a few times, in Africa and Central America.
Speaker 1: And I think the question was asking about the American
Speaker 1: Right's right, you brought me back here, yeah, And so
Speaker 1: I think it's we were talking about this a little
Speaker 1: bit at lunch, just the perspective that we have as Americans,
Speaker 1: just our worldview, and then when you travel, you you
Speaker 1: just it's a whole different perspective. It's not quite totally
Speaker 1: idled here, I think Americans. I think it's I do
Speaker 1: think it's the best. I think America's, particularly the United States,
Speaker 1: is the best country on the planet. But it's just
Speaker 1: so good to get outside of your perspective, outside of
Speaker 1: your worldview, and realized that we took a lot of
Speaker 1: things for granted. Absolutely, so I can I can't answer that, Mike.
Speaker 1: I could say this that, first of all, you're probably
Speaker 1: referring to there's a few songs that Earl Dibbles has,
Speaker 1: like a song called America. Right. America came out after
Speaker 1: I had already been to the Europe stuff and the
Speaker 1: Iraq and Kuwait stuff. But we have been since then
Speaker 1: to Australia and Canada. And it's funny because the first
Speaker 1: time I went to Canada and America was kind of
Speaker 1: semi viral on YouTube. I always didn't know what to do,
Speaker 1: like what do I do with this? You know, Mike's right,
Speaker 1: and thinking, now what do I do song? So I
Speaker 1: win and I took it off the set list. Thought
Speaker 1: that was an augous thing, which was weird because when
Speaker 1: we went there, it was like during the height of
Speaker 1: what this song was, how it was bubbling over on YouTube.
Speaker 1: So I did a meet and greet and I saw
Speaker 1: some good fans that I recognized from Canada, and I
Speaker 1: was like, guys, quick question, why should I do with America?
Speaker 1: And They're like play it and I was like, really,
Speaker 1: that seems weird, and they're like, no, we have the
Speaker 1: same kind of saying in Canada. It's Canada like instead
Speaker 1: of America Canada, they do the same thing. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: they said sing the song and replace it and I
Speaker 1: was like, that's a cool idea. So I did and
Speaker 1: they loved it. Then I went to Australia, same thing.
Speaker 1: I said, what should I do with this song American
Speaker 1: and they said, our phrase is Australia. So it just worked.
Speaker 1: I did Australia. So what I would usually do, and
Speaker 1: you know, salute to my home country, I would say
Speaker 1: America the first two times, first two choruses, and the
Speaker 1: last chorus Australia or Canada, and then they went nuts.
Speaker 1: So so, Mike, long story short, it's amazing how other
Speaker 1: countries are actually very accepting of the over the top
Speaker 1: pro America is because they all share that same sentiment
Speaker 1: at some level. So you guys also comment below if
Speaker 1: you are from Canada or America, I mean Australia, and
Speaker 1: and let me know what if you agree with that.
Speaker 1: And then if you're from Europe, what in the world
Speaker 1: would we say England. I don't know what it would
Speaker 1: be yeah to the king. I don't know. Are you
Speaker 1: ready Christian here at Buffalo, Let's go. I'm gonna let you.
Speaker 1: I'll let you get into some of these. I'll let
Speaker 1: you help me pick sure, So I'm gonna Here's a
Speaker 1: subject called marriage. Subject called advice. There's a subject that says,
Speaker 1: random question. I have the trouble with girls. My wife
Speaker 1: and I are thinking about moving. Let's go with advice.
Speaker 1: That's advice, says hi, mister Smith. For of all, I
Speaker 1: want to thank you for your inspirational music. When I
Speaker 1: have a bad day, I resort to your music and
Speaker 1: it speaks to me and it has saved my life
Speaker 1: many times. Wow, thank you, she says. My mother passed
Speaker 1: away almost six years ago and I can't find any
Speaker 1: way to cope with it. My project, vehicles and work
Speaker 1: are how I get distracted. But at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, it's still there. What do you recommend doing
Speaker 1: that might help cope with it? This is Danielle from Alberta, Canada.
Speaker 1: Oh well, some awody from Canada, Canada, Canada. Danielle, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you, thanks for emailing and I'm sorry. I'm so
Speaker 1: sorry about your mother. Where would you go. If you
Speaker 1: were talking with Danielle and she came to you Christian
Speaker 1: with this, where did you start? Where'd you start with? Well, first,
Speaker 1: I just want to affirm the grief is a real
Speaker 1: thing and regardless of it's if it's been six days
Speaker 1: or six years, that's still your mother and that's good.
Speaker 1: Grief is real and it's although it's is sometimes an
Speaker 1: emotion or something that has a mindset, it's also something
Speaker 1: that you physically feel and you physically experience. And I
Speaker 1: would just encourage you one is is just accept that
Speaker 1: and be okay that, Hey, six years later, if I'm
Speaker 1: still missing my mother doesn't mean something's wrong with me.
Speaker 1: It's just maybe maybe maybe there's a work that still
Speaker 1: needs to be done on the inside of me. And
Speaker 1: I would encourage you to get into some counseling, some
Speaker 1: grief share groups. I would also just remind you that
Speaker 1: to stay busy, you know, stay active, keep your mind occupied.
Speaker 1: You know, the Bible teaches us that an idle mind
Speaker 1: can be deceitful, an idle mind can it can be unhealthy.
Speaker 1: And if you find yourself sitting around just pondering and
Speaker 1: wondering what's next for you and missing your mother. I
Speaker 1: would encourage you to get busy and find something just
Speaker 1: to put some life into, find something to put some
Speaker 1: of your attention into, because I promise you I can
Speaker 1: tell you in my life that when I've experienced grief,
Speaker 1: when I've experienced pain, that when I find something that's
Speaker 1: greater than that pain that's worth investing into. Is when
Speaker 1: I begin to that's where my focus goes. That's where
Speaker 1: my attention goes, and I'll get distracted on you know,
Speaker 1: I forget, oh yeah, that was tough. But when I
Speaker 1: find something or someone to invest into, that's that's usually
Speaker 1: the game changer for me. That's so good and Christian,
Speaker 1: you have such a servant heart, and it's it's evident
Speaker 1: with that, with what you're saying to Danielle. And once
Speaker 1: again I'll say, my mother is still around. So I cannot,
Speaker 1: I cannot begin to understand what you're going through, Danielle.
Speaker 1: And but I'm sure a lot of people listening have
Speaker 1: lost a mother and everyone has a different story. This
Speaker 1: is this is what I could tell you with with grief.
Speaker 1: Let me go to a couple places here. One, it
Speaker 1: will get better. It's good, it just will. And and
Speaker 1: almost regardless of what you do, regardless of how you
Speaker 1: just how much or how little you distract yourself time,
Speaker 1: day by day, week by week, month by month, year
Speaker 1: by year, it will get better. And that's not always
Speaker 1: the answer we want to hear, because we're living in
Speaker 1: the present. We're living in this moment. So how do
Speaker 1: I deal with it right now? I don't. It's fine
Speaker 1: if I'm going to be better in five years, but
Speaker 1: I want to deal with it right now. I look
Speaker 1: at it as grief is a thief. It's good grief
Speaker 1: is a thief because because the grief that you feel
Speaker 1: for your mother has nothing to do with your mother
Speaker 1: and who she was. Now, the amount of grief you've
Speaker 1: had you have for her equals the amount of love
Speaker 1: you had for So you're by you saying that six
Speaker 1: years later you still hurt, you still grieve means you
Speaker 1: loved her a lot, a lot. Yeah, you loved her
Speaker 1: that much that it still hurts all after these several years.
Speaker 1: And in the long run, Danielle, that's a good thing.
Speaker 1: Meaning losing a mother that you loved that much at
Speaker 1: your age now I don't know how old you are,
Speaker 1: but is so much better than a lifetime with a
Speaker 1: worthless mother. And so you're you're very blessed that you
Speaker 1: have a mother that you loved that much and you
Speaker 1: have those memories because not everyone can say that. So
Speaker 1: there's a massive positive right there that you have that.
Speaker 1: And let me go back to grief as a thief,
Speaker 1: because I've thought a lot about this in my life,
Speaker 1: but grief, grief will come in to your mind and
Speaker 1: steal your the positive thoughts about your mother, take that
Speaker 1: away from you. When when you want to think of
Speaker 1: your mother and smile, and then you do smile because
Speaker 1: of something great thought you had about her, and then
Speaker 1: you feel guilty for smiling because you shouldn't. You shouldn't
Speaker 1: be feeling happy you lost your mother, And that that's
Speaker 1: a lie, that grief is stealing, stealing that that good
Speaker 1: moment that you're trying to have with your mother and
Speaker 1: trying to smile by telling you you shouldn't be smiling,
Speaker 1: you should be sad, and just realizing that helps you
Speaker 1: go so sad. Oh wait a minute, this is my
Speaker 1: This is that thief Grangel was talking about. And just
Speaker 1: imagine think about you said that about it being a thief.
Speaker 1: Think about how grief has distracted you from so many
Speaker 1: positive things in your right, Like it's stealing so many
Speaker 1: great moments and so many great memories, right and delaying
Speaker 1: you from starting what you talked about, getting into something
Speaker 1: that's more valuable than that grief. And we're and we're
Speaker 1: not at all suggesting that grief again, that isn't real
Speaker 1: and it's just a choice where you just wake up
Speaker 1: one day and it's gone. That's not it. That's not
Speaker 1: the case. It's a process and it's a journey. But
Speaker 1: it is also a thief and it will rob from
Speaker 1: you and rob from others and those that are around
Speaker 1: you that you're there, you're meant to invest into. If
Speaker 1: this is a different piece of advice than I would
Speaker 1: tell you if this was six weeks, it's be different,
Speaker 1: Oh for sure. But six years I say this, Danielle.
Speaker 1: After six years, I say, when that comes up in
Speaker 1: your mind and you start feeling super sad and thinking
Speaker 1: of maybe the last moments with your mom, you recognize,
Speaker 1: right there, no not going there. Yeah, no, I'm going
Speaker 1: to good memories. Yeah. And I would say too that
Speaker 1: in those moments where you're grieving her, to Granger's point,
Speaker 1: like just honor her in that movement and like, and
Speaker 1: if you're having a day that you're missing her more
Speaker 1: than ever, then make it a point that day to
Speaker 1: share with someone that you're in relationship with, someone at work,
Speaker 1: someone you know at the office or at school. We
Speaker 1: don't know what season of life you're in, but just
Speaker 1: share a moment of your mother that honors her, like
Speaker 1: your best memory growing up. And it's gonna be hard
Speaker 1: to really, you know, when you share a positive memory
Speaker 1: like that, you're not gonna be that sad about it,
Speaker 1: you know. Absolutely. It's been seven years since I lost
Speaker 1: my dad, and I love that now. I could go,
Speaker 1: I could drive past a restaurant and I can go,
Speaker 1: I could smile. Dad love that place, you know, and
Speaker 1: it's all smile. I've never lost a sibling or a
Speaker 1: child or a parent, but I've lost grandparents and I've
Speaker 1: lost aunts and uncles, And yeah, that's the clothes I
Speaker 1: can closest. I can relate to what she's going through,
Speaker 1: but I can tell you now, I'm in a season
Speaker 1: of life and we celebrate them like we like. I
Speaker 1: honor my grandparents for I think the investment they made
Speaker 1: into me, and so of course I missed them I
Speaker 1: miss them every day, but I'm also honored it I
Speaker 1: had the time you know that I had with them
Speaker 1: here on earth. So it's good hanging there. Danielle. I
Speaker 1: appreciate the question. Seek, seek wise counsel, seek good friends,
Speaker 1: and seek those those moments of serving others, because when
Speaker 1: you start serving others, and maybe there's someone in your
Speaker 1: in a circle around you that lost their mother this year,
Speaker 1: and you can go to them and go do you
Speaker 1: want to talk about this? Tell me about your mother?
Speaker 1: Could you have any pictures of her? Show? And you'll
Speaker 1: watch yourself as you're investing in that, watch yourself start
Speaker 1: healing from the inside. So that's I think that's pretty solid.
Speaker 1: And thank you for emailing back up to you. Christian.
Speaker 1: We're spinning the wheel here. We have I'll go to
Speaker 1: the bottom. We have faith and friends. We have need
Speaker 1: some advice. We have if you were seventeen. Let's do
Speaker 1: the faith and friends. Faith and friends. Okay, it says,
Speaker 1: hey Granger, I'm going to give you the same paragraph
Speaker 1: that you that you read all the time. But I
Speaker 1: love your music, I love watching your podcasts and vlogs,
Speaker 1: I love your sweet family. Thank you so much. So
Speaker 1: here it is it says. I know religion is not
Speaker 1: new to your life, but in the past couple of
Speaker 1: years it's become a part of your storyline and I
Speaker 1: love it. My question is does your religious views are
Speaker 1: writing the word affect your everyday life when it comes
Speaker 1: to other people. Do you talk about Christianity to others
Speaker 1: all the time, like everywhere you go or do you
Speaker 1: find that you have to be more reserved with some
Speaker 1: And have you ever had a fan or a family
Speaker 1: try to discredit your faith in any way by saying
Speaker 1: something negative about you and talking about your faith? And
Speaker 1: so how do you handle it? In this day and time?
Speaker 1: It seems that if you say I'm a Christian, people
Speaker 1: want to judge your every step. For example, if you drink,
Speaker 1: you're a sinner. If you show anger, you're a sinner.
Speaker 1: If you dance, you're a ciner. I get really discouraged
Speaker 1: from statements like this or in general just saying negative
Speaker 1: comments about being religious. How does a person in the
Speaker 1: public I deal with this? Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: your time, Angie from Georgia, but your neighbor Georgia. Yeah,
Speaker 1: kind of good stuff. Good stuff. I'm Angie, and I
Speaker 1: want to start I want to start here. I want
Speaker 1: to start by saying, because I see this in emails
Speaker 1: a lot from you guys, I want to kind of
Speaker 1: squash the word religion. That's good, let's do it. I
Speaker 1: just don't kind of rebuke that word because I'm really
Speaker 1: I'm very religious about waking up in the morning and
Speaker 1: eating and eating, eating, and watching watching Aggie football, going
Speaker 1: to the restroom. Yeah, pretty religious about that. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: going to happen. Yeah, I'm religious about having my cup
Speaker 1: of coffee every morning, though. And uh, and sometimes that
Speaker 1: word just gets it gets kind of muddled. And there's
Speaker 1: a big difference between loving Jesus and being religious. And
Speaker 1: I don't want to I just want to clear that
Speaker 1: up before we even get into this. And Christian and
Speaker 1: I talked a little bit about this even at lunch today.
Speaker 1: But let's get into the to the meat of your question.
Speaker 1: It sounds like and you sounds like you are a
Speaker 1: Christian that is struggling with the world around you, and
Speaker 1: you've it sounds like you've had some some people try
Speaker 1: to discredit your faith, saying some negative things, maybe calling
Speaker 1: you out for what they think that they think you
Speaker 1: would judge them for that, right, and you're doing it,
Speaker 1: so then we'll call you out on that. And this
Speaker 1: is all basic normal, it's normal world. You know. Have
Speaker 1: you do you Christian? Do you deal with this people's
Speaker 1: people coming to you and saying something similar to what
Speaker 1: Angie's saying. Yeah, I mean, I think we've all as
Speaker 1: a believer, I think we've all had days where we
Speaker 1: have people questioning our relationship with the Lord or critiquing
Speaker 1: us and criticizing what it is that we believe in,
Speaker 1: or maybe our character as far as like hey, why
Speaker 1: you know you don't you shouldn't have to do that
Speaker 1: as a Christian or But I mean, I think what
Speaker 1: I would say to is it Angie? Is that right? Angie?
Speaker 1: Angie from Georgia, Angie, I would I just want to
Speaker 1: encourage you. One is is uh what Grander and I
Speaker 1: was talking about lunch, and that is is that you know,
Speaker 1: our our relationship with Christ is really not something that
Speaker 1: we have to defend and know is it something we
Speaker 1: have to prove? And the kind of the thing we
Speaker 1: talk about often is is that we just want to
Speaker 1: be someone that has something. There's something in us that
Speaker 1: other people desire like we don't. We don't have to
Speaker 1: go around sharing you know, memory versus and scripture and
Speaker 1: you need that's right. Yeah, Like our goal is, like
Speaker 1: we've talked about this day of lunch, I just want
Speaker 1: to see something. I just want to be someone that
Speaker 1: someone sees, Hey, I want what they have, Like I
Speaker 1: know what they're walking through in life, and look at
Speaker 1: the strength that's on that, look at the joy that
Speaker 1: they have, look at the peace that they have. And
Speaker 1: I will tell you that when you're someone that, when
Speaker 1: you're someone that's walking like that, people are going to
Speaker 1: desire that, regardless of what religion they're from, what faith
Speaker 1: background they have, And you can't critique that, like you
Speaker 1: can't you can't criticize peace. If you ever see somebody's just,
Speaker 1: they're just. They come in and there's joy in their
Speaker 1: life and they're peace. They're peaceful in the middle of
Speaker 1: a storm. No one's critiquing that. Everyone's desiring that. I
Speaker 1: think that's perfect. Like the person that is that in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty, the people that are walking in peace were
Speaker 1: walking in confidence and assurance while the rest of the
Speaker 1: world was falling down around us and in chaos. That
Speaker 1: was what everyone was desiring. Yeah, yeah, that's so good. Well,
Speaker 1: I've heard it said that you don't have to worry
Speaker 1: about saying the message so much. When you are the best,
Speaker 1: you have to live it. You live the message. And
Speaker 1: so Angie, that's perfect. And I don't even I don't
Speaker 1: totally know this is what you're even asking. I'm just
Speaker 1: kind of assuming that this is happening to you, which
Speaker 1: is why you're asking it to me. So you say,
Speaker 1: my question is does your religious views are spreading the
Speaker 1: word affect your everyday life when it comes to other people? Yes,
Speaker 1: and it should. It should for everybody because when it
Speaker 1: is when you are the message, when you are living this,
Speaker 1: when you're living by that word, that it should just
Speaker 1: permeate everything that you do. I'm not talking about everything
Speaker 1: you say. I'm not talking about the weird on the
Speaker 1: street corner that's that's saying Hell's Coming and holding the
Speaker 1: Bible and screaming at people that it's not what I'm
Speaker 1: talking about. I'm talking about exactly what Christian said, where
Speaker 1: you go, there's something different about that guy. There's like
Speaker 1: a piece that I can't describe what's going on with you.
Speaker 1: It's how you treat the lady of the chuck outline
Speaker 1: like it's it's how you treat your your waitress or
Speaker 1: your waiter. It's it's how you interact with people at
Speaker 1: the ball field, and you know, it's it's just how
Speaker 1: you live your life to the So it's always on
Speaker 1: my mind everywhere I go. I'm thinking about the people
Speaker 1: I'm interacting with and the friendships that I have, and like,
Speaker 1: I want there to always be fruit on my life
Speaker 1: that I'm a follower of Christ in all. Yeah, second
Speaker 1: part of the question, how do you deal with people
Speaker 1: judging and giving you negative comments about being religious? Well,
Speaker 1: I think it's that that kind of stuff. It's anything
Speaker 1: else in life that starts with it's any negative comment,
Speaker 1: it starts with you being confident with your your views
Speaker 1: and your your way of life. The way I look
Speaker 1: at any negative comments in anything in my world is
Speaker 1: and I read this in a I saw this in
Speaker 1: a Brene Brown book called Daring Greatly. But it was
Speaker 1: basically the idea that we're all in this arena and
Speaker 1: if we're down, if we're the gladiators on the dirt,
Speaker 1: the only advice or criticism where we can take is
Speaker 1: from people in the dirt with us that are sweating
Speaker 1: and bleeding with us. But the person up in the
Speaker 1: nose bleeds up in the top, I'm not listening to that.
Speaker 1: So not listening to that criticism because you're not down here. Now.
Speaker 1: If you're down here and we're brothers and you say, man,
Speaker 1: you got straightened up. Okay, we're bleeding together, I understand,
Speaker 1: but not from you way up in the top of
Speaker 1: the nose bleeds in the arena. And I think that's
Speaker 1: the same with you. And by the way, drinking is
Speaker 1: not a sin. Dancing is not a sin. So we'll
Speaker 1: go ahead and clear that up. Does say show your anger,
Speaker 1: So there's there's there's a fine line there. But but
Speaker 1: if you've named two out of your three that aren't
Speaker 1: even sins that people are calling you out on, that's
Speaker 1: just weird. That's that's someone that's that doesn't understand ceremonial
Speaker 1: and civil and moral laws of the Old Testament and
Speaker 1: the difference between them. So keep doing what you're doing, Angie.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Georgia. We're gonna take a quick break
Speaker 1: and be right back. Podcast Today is brought to you
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Speaker 1: your ritual today. I'm gonna get back into these questions.
Speaker 1: If you guys have anything you want to ask me,
Speaker 1: email Granger Smith podcast at gmail dot com. Could be
Speaker 1: about any subject, I'm gonna answer it here. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go through the rest of these right now. I only
Speaker 1: have one request, and I don't say this too often,
Speaker 1: but if you have a question, try not to make
Speaker 1: your whole life story in the body of the email,
Speaker 1: because it's just harder. It's harder for me in this
Speaker 1: content to read through a very long email. Just try
Speaker 1: to keep it where we can get the main points
Speaker 1: and if that makes sense. So Christian, we have top
Speaker 1: to bottom, we have marriage, we have advice. Random question
Speaker 1: trouble with girls. The wife and I are thinking about moving,
Speaker 1: let's do that one. This question comes from Jeremy. It says,
Speaker 1: my wife and I and our four year old son
Speaker 1: want to move to Texas, but we don't know where
Speaker 1: in Texas. Where do you think would be a good
Speaker 1: town or community and would be a good small town
Speaker 1: from us in northern Maine. Your music is awesome. A
Speaker 1: crank caller in my yoda, and that's why I love
Speaker 1: dirt roads when I'm out goose hunting. Keep up the
Speaker 1: great work. Your family's awesome well, and here's a shout
Speaker 1: out to Jeremy, Melissa, Jensen, Tuck and Houlton. That's some
Speaker 1: awesome names from Maine. My first reaction to this femail, Christian,
Speaker 1: is you're leaving northern Maine. Beautiful there. You're gonna come here.
Speaker 1: It's so hot. It's hot, beautiful in the northeast. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've toured Maine. You usually tour Maine once a year,
Speaker 1: and it's just unreal. Now you're leaving for the reasons
Speaker 1: that you haven't said, or you want to leave for
Speaker 1: reasons you haven't said. But don't whatever you do, don't
Speaker 1: leave because you think the grass is greener in Texas
Speaker 1: because it's not greener from Birmingham. It's it's not greener
Speaker 1: in Texas. I mean it's great, but the grass is
Speaker 1: liter Birmingham is very not greener. Yeah, Burnham's a lot
Speaker 1: of rain, so yeah, Birmingham is a beautiful town. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1: So have you been to main I half once. Did
Speaker 1: you get lobster? Uh? No. It was a quick trip
Speaker 1: with family, so it was in and out really quick,
Speaker 1: so I wasn't able to get lobster. I'll just see
Speaker 1: a moose. I did not see a moose. I want
Speaker 1: to go back, like it's one of those trips that
Speaker 1: I want to go back. So Jeremy, here's the deal,
Speaker 1: me and Christian, we're going to trade with you. You
Speaker 1: come on down and you will just switch houses and
Speaker 1: we'll go uh we'll go up and start a celebration
Speaker 1: in church. And it absolutely I could do the podcast
Speaker 1: there on my back porch with the moose. In all seriousness,
Speaker 1: if you actually are coming for business reasons or whatever else,
Speaker 1: I am. I am have a sweet place in my
Speaker 1: heart for Central Texas in Georgetown and the Square, just
Speaker 1: like many places in the country, the real estate market
Speaker 1: is ridiculous right now that everyone seems to be moving,
Speaker 1: but I think everyone's moving everywhere off the coastal states
Speaker 1: right and going into the interior. So what do you have?
Speaker 1: Would you say Central Texas? Would say, I would say
Speaker 1: Central Texas And he's asking a boy the city I
Speaker 1: would I mean, I would say Georgetown. Any any suburb
Speaker 1: of Austin. Yeah, any suburb of Auston I think would
Speaker 1: be a great you know, being new to town and
Speaker 1: being from Birmingham, it's it's Central Texas is amazing. There's
Speaker 1: a ton for family. I mean, he mentioned his family,
Speaker 1: and I think in Williamson County they have some of
Speaker 1: the fastest growing cities in America, the most appealing, Like
Speaker 1: I think it's the number two city in America to
Speaker 1: raise a family. So just with all the parks and
Speaker 1: the education. Yeah, uh, outskirts of Houston, you're gonna see
Speaker 1: some really tall pine trees. Might make you feel a
Speaker 1: little bit like Maine. You're gonna have that coastal air,
Speaker 1: that salt air that it might remind you made. But
Speaker 1: it's a lot hotter, that's and you're gonna deal with hurricanes.
Speaker 1: But but yeah, thanks for the question, buddy, what do
Speaker 1: you think Christian we have I need some advice. We
Speaker 1: have faith in friends, We have trouble with girls. Podcast question,
Speaker 1: Random question, the random question, Random question. I like how
Speaker 1: you're picking the ones that didn't stand it, says, hey,
Speaker 1: Granger in My name is Gavin Holsworth from Stillwater, Oklahoma.
Speaker 1: And your song the Country Boy song, you mentioned being
Speaker 1: a quarter Cherokee. Is this true? If not, I totally understand.
Speaker 1: I'm just curious. In your podcast you said we could
Speaker 1: ask anything and I'm Cherokee. That says, thank you, Gavin, Dude,
Speaker 1: great question. I say in that song, I say quarter
Speaker 1: Cherokee blood from my mom's half, So I don't think
Speaker 1: that's the old Devil's math there. And the reality of
Speaker 1: the truth is my grandmother is a quarter Cherokee, my
Speaker 1: grandmother's so my grandmother's father was half, so she's a quarter,
Speaker 1: which makes my mom in eighth, which makes me a sixteenth.
Speaker 1: And I believe that a sixteenth is almost nothing. It's
Speaker 1: not worth bragging about or claiming, because I think a
Speaker 1: lot of people are probably sixteenth of some kind of
Speaker 1: Native American. Yeah, what about you? You You got Irish? Irish,
Speaker 1: got that Irish a lot more than sixteenth What is
Speaker 1: it now? I don't know these actus Williams and clann
Speaker 1: but Williamson Clinn. Yeah, we're definitely we're Irish. And my
Speaker 1: actually my grand my granddad, my grandmother was half Cherokee,
Speaker 1: but I didn't quite didn't quite make it my way.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's in you. Similar, it's in there, It's
Speaker 1: just not in my complexion. Yeah, and you could tell,
Speaker 1: like my brother Tyler actually has no I don't have
Speaker 1: much facial hair, but Tyler doesn't have any. Yeah, which
Speaker 1: is any? That's usually the big indication of how much
Speaker 1: Native American the genetics you have in you? Is the
Speaker 1: facial hair? Really? I didn't know that. Yeah, thank you, Kevin.
Speaker 1: That's a good question. Where do we go now we have?
Speaker 1: How about this one? Because this one kind of been
Speaker 1: popping out. There's no body to it. It's just a
Speaker 1: subject and it says, and there's actually not even a name.
Speaker 1: It's ask God. It says, what would you do if
Speaker 1: you were seventeen and your parents were trying to destroy
Speaker 1: your relationship. I'm happy with the girl, and I don't
Speaker 1: want to lose her do to my parents. B s
Speaker 1: ooh wow, no name, no contact, just that well, one
Speaker 1: is I don't know if he wants to know what,
Speaker 1: I'm going to say, Yeah, I don't know. If I
Speaker 1: want to know what you're first, I would say one
Speaker 1: is being seventeen. I'd have to ask the question, you know,
Speaker 1: are you living under their roof? And how do you
Speaker 1: determine what's your definition of destroy? Is it something that
Speaker 1: they see in her or in you that is unhealthy
Speaker 1: and is leading you down maybe a path they don't
Speaker 1: want you to go down. And so is this mom
Speaker 1: and dad destroying your relationship? Or is this mom and
Speaker 1: dad parenting you in a direction that you may not
Speaker 1: see is the most beneficial for you? Right now, let
Speaker 1: me tell you my morning reading today. Proverb six It says,
Speaker 1: this is proverb six point twenty, this is my son,
Speaker 1: Keep your father's commandment, and for sake, and not forsake
Speaker 1: your mother's teaching. Bind them on your heart, always tie
Speaker 1: them around your neck. When you walk. They will lead you.
Speaker 1: When you lie down, they will watch over you when
Speaker 1: you awake. They will talk with you. For the commandments
Speaker 1: as a lamp, and the teaching a light, and the
Speaker 1: reproofs of discipline and the way of life, to preserve
Speaker 1: you from the evil woman one from the smooth tongue
Speaker 1: of the adulterys. Do not desire her beauty in your heart.
Speaker 1: Do not let her capture you with her eyelashes. Right
Speaker 1: it is. I think love and Dad might be looking
Speaker 1: out for you. And you know, I think you have
Speaker 1: to ask too. You have to ask yourself, is this
Speaker 1: what's the character of mom and dad? You know, I
Speaker 1: think if you you know, again, we don't know your name,
Speaker 1: but you're seventeen years old, and if you're sitting here
Speaker 1: going man, this is just completely out of character for
Speaker 1: my parents. And I would say it's probably just something
Speaker 1: the piece of it you're missing. Yeah, for the past
Speaker 1: seventeen years, mom and dad has been incredible. Mom and
Speaker 1: dad incredible. Parents, have instilled so many great things into you.
Speaker 1: And now all of a sudden, you feel like they're
Speaker 1: coming out of left field. They may not be coming
Speaker 1: out of left field. It might just be a you know,
Speaker 1: you ever heard the saying love is blind? Yeah? Yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 1: The trick to this question is you say, what would
Speaker 1: you do if you were seventeen and your parents were
Speaker 1: trying to do? Yeah? Well, so that's a different deal
Speaker 1: because if I was seventeen, I would be seventeen and
Speaker 1: I would be you. But I'm not anymore, and I'm
Speaker 1: looking back on it, and I'm saying I'm saying, brother,
Speaker 1: regardless of what your parents are doing. You guys know
Speaker 1: on this podcast that I'm always going to go back
Speaker 1: to a biblical foundation and this is not it is
Speaker 1: not supported biblically for me to tell you to forget
Speaker 1: what your parents are saying, because it's bs as you said,
Speaker 1: So my advice to you, as a brother, as a buddy,
Speaker 1: as in a campfire setting with me and Christian, I'd say, brother,
Speaker 1: you need to consider what they're saying, and you need
Speaker 1: to take it to heart. And you don't have many
Speaker 1: more years under their roof, like you said, you don't.
Speaker 1: You're at the end of your time, but you're still
Speaker 1: in their time. You're still under their clock. And I
Speaker 1: would think why Christian said, there's more to this story.
Speaker 1: There's something they're seeing with this girl. You say, I'm
Speaker 1: happy with her. But happiness doesn't have anything to do
Speaker 1: with it, buddy, it doesn't. Happiness is fleeting. Happiness happens
Speaker 1: when the sun comes out and shines on your shoulders
Speaker 1: and the rain stops and you go, I'm kind of
Speaker 1: happy right now, but that's nothing that drives something as
Speaker 1: big as this. So that's my advice. That's not what
Speaker 1: you wanted me to say. It's probably not what you
Speaker 1: expected me to say, but I did read that in
Speaker 1: Proverbs six. When I said twenty six this morning, I
Speaker 1: think that might be a sign for you. Trouble with
Speaker 1: girls again. Advice marriage podcast question. Let's go marriage. See
Speaker 1: what that is? Hey, Grandeura, It's Dalton from Pennsylvania. How
Speaker 1: are you? My wife and I got married last year
Speaker 1: on August first. Well, now seven months into it, she
Speaker 1: doesn't want to work on things anymore. She walked out,
Speaker 1: barely talks to me anymore. She said she wants to
Speaker 1: go through the divorce. She's made it very clear. My
Speaker 1: question is how do I go about life and move
Speaker 1: on without her. We've been together seven to eight years
Speaker 1: and it seems like she doesn't want anymore, lost, confused
Speaker 1: and hurt. Hope to hear from you soon, Dalton, man,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, brother. That that's uh, that's that's a that's
Speaker 1: a marriage question right there, and that is a quick turnaround.
Speaker 1: The seven months into it, I've heard of this before.
Speaker 1: I don't know anybody personally that has been only into
Speaker 1: it seven months. Yeah, I think. I think. What's interesting
Speaker 1: because he asked the question how do I go on
Speaker 1: with life without her? And I would you said, y'all
Speaker 1: have been together seven eight years and clearly you love her.
Speaker 1: I would just encourage you. Now, don't like you made
Speaker 1: a commitment, you made a covenant. Don't give up. Fine,
Speaker 1: go seek some counsel, Go seek some help, learn to
Speaker 1: understand how she receives love. Maybe listen to what she's saying,
Speaker 1: are the reasons why she's leaving or wanting to be
Speaker 1: with someone else? And then ultimately remember that you can't
Speaker 1: control her, you can't change her, but you can fight.
Speaker 1: And what I hear in the what I hear in
Speaker 1: this email is that you may have given up a
Speaker 1: little bit, like it's how do I live life without her?
Speaker 1: So it sounds like you're in the driveway ready to
Speaker 1: pull out, and I would tell you get out of
Speaker 1: the car, go back in the house, fight, stand firm, stand,
Speaker 1: stand confident, and don't give up on your marriage. It's
Speaker 1: not gonna be easy. You know. What's interesting is that
Speaker 1: I wonder if this is a product of the pandemic
Speaker 1: a little bit. They said they got married August first,
Speaker 1: last year. Yeah, that's a tough time, said terribly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they get married. Man, that's tough. That's you guys. Maybe
Speaker 1: I'm assuming you had it planned for a long time.
Speaker 1: It just fell right during the pandemic. I'm assuming you
Speaker 1: guys in Pennsylvania had heavy restrictions on the actual ceremony
Speaker 1: you've had. That's a tough go at a world when
Speaker 1: you're dealing with problems that most married couples hadn't deal
Speaker 1: dealt with in the last fifty years. I wonder if
Speaker 1: that's not part of it. I hope it's not. You
Speaker 1: would hate to think the divorce is going to come
Speaker 1: out to something that is fleeting, like the pandemic, that's
Speaker 1: gonna eventually go away. I love everything Christian said that.
Speaker 1: I love the analogy of you're you're already in the
Speaker 1: driveway waving goodbye, and you need to get back in
Speaker 1: the house. And I say, when you go back in
Speaker 1: the house, start digging into what are the reasons that
Speaker 1: she wants to walk out and barely talks to you.
Speaker 1: What kind of concessions can you be making instead of
Speaker 1: thinking that this is her problem, this is she's walking out,
Speaker 1: she doesn't want to talk. What are you doing that?
Speaker 1: You could then turn to her and go, I want
Speaker 1: to I want to meet in the middle. I want
Speaker 1: to come to you with this. I want to surrender
Speaker 1: to this marriage in a way that I haven't before.
Speaker 1: And Babe, how can I do that for you? How
Speaker 1: can I how can I help save this? Do I
Speaker 1: need to quit my job? Do we need to move?
Speaker 1: Do we need to have a second conversation about this
Speaker 1: the child we were thinking about having. Do we need
Speaker 1: to do we take a vacation? I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of things that I think if you
Speaker 1: go down fully, commit fully to the path of giving
Speaker 1: everything to it, then if she's adamant and walking out,
Speaker 1: your heart is gonna be a lot better off. I
Speaker 1: think you've just got to know you you gave it
Speaker 1: everything you've got. You can't you can't have any regrets. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I would also encourage him. I remember that as
Speaker 1: a man of the house, you're the leader of the house,
Speaker 1: and so she's looking at you potentially lead lead you
Speaker 1: guys through this, like lead you guys into counseling. Don't
Speaker 1: wait on her to make the appointment, don't wait on
Speaker 1: her to reach out for help. Interesting, listen to what
Speaker 1: she's saying and go and get some help and get
Speaker 1: some advice. Also I would encourage you is don't allow
Speaker 1: how she's responding to anything that you're doing to affect
Speaker 1: the decisions that you're making. Like don't so go bira
Speaker 1: a dozen roses and bring them home, And don't let
Speaker 1: the fact that she wasn't excited, didn't smile, change the
Speaker 1: fact that you wanted to get her some chocolate or
Speaker 1: do something nice like the next day, like you just
Speaker 1: you got to commit, man, and you've got to predetermine it.
Speaker 1: I'm making these decisions because I'm committed to my marriage,
Speaker 1: not how she's going to respond to her. Wow. I
Speaker 1: love that. So then also you said listen to her,
Speaker 1: So in the listening, it's the same thing regardless of
Speaker 1: what she's saying, regardless of how she's just chewing you out.
Speaker 1: That's right, letter, Listen, listen to hear it out because
Speaker 1: maybe you could learn something from it. Maybe she's telling
Speaker 1: you something that you need to hear. Right, there's that,
Speaker 1: oh for sure. And I think if she's chewing you out.
Speaker 1: Then she's hurt. She's angry. So there's either a reason
Speaker 1: why she's angry, which you need to lean into and
Speaker 1: discover what that is, or this is the reason why
Speaker 1: she's hurt, so you need you know both. You've been
Speaker 1: with her seven or eight years. You didn't You didn't
Speaker 1: marry someone who was angry and yelling all the time
Speaker 1: something's happened. And again, just I think it's your role
Speaker 1: and your responsibility to lead her through this, lead the
Speaker 1: two of you through this. Don't weigh on her. I
Speaker 1: think too often in relationships and every relationship we move
Speaker 1: forward in those relationships, but I think we have heart
Speaker 1: time being vulnerable. So we're always like, hey, are they
Speaker 1: gonna are they gonna take this step too? Are they
Speaker 1: going to do this too? And it doesn't matter whether
Speaker 1: it's a friendship or someone you're married to, But I
Speaker 1: would encourage be vulnerable, tell her how you feel, and again,
Speaker 1: do things expecting no response, Like it doesn't matter whether
Speaker 1: she is thankful that I did things for or not.
Speaker 1: Do it anyway, do it just out of a servant's heart,
Speaker 1: just the server. Think about this question, Dalton, Think about
Speaker 1: if you asked her with a full heart, babe, what
Speaker 1: can I do to save this? Yeah? And and mean
Speaker 1: it and let her know that you mean it. What
Speaker 1: can I, dude, save this? Yeah? And I mean and
Speaker 1: you can't. And it's got to be You've got to
Speaker 1: be you hearing from her. So if she says, well,
Speaker 1: I need you to do this, this, and this, your
Speaker 1: response can be well, I need you to do this
Speaker 1: this and yes. Your respond is like, Okay, I'll work
Speaker 1: on that. I'm on it. I'll go I don't know
Speaker 1: how to do that, but I'm gonna go get some help.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go talk to my dad, talk to my brother,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk to someone who might have been through
Speaker 1: something like this, and yeah, I'm on it. Yeah. Shout
Speaker 1: out to Pennsylvania and Dalton. Thanks for the question, brother, Yeah,
Speaker 1: great question. Appreciate the vulnerability to absolutely. Please email back
Speaker 1: in and let me know keep us updated on what
Speaker 1: happens with this. All right, we got we got maybe two,
Speaker 1: maybe one more, so we're here to the final stretch
Speaker 1: of faith and friends. Need some advice podcast question trouble
Speaker 1: with Girls and then another just advice. Let's do the
Speaker 1: I think the podcast Trouble where Girls are the last two.
Speaker 1: We haven't done. Do the podcast questions. Podcast question It says,
Speaker 1: good morning, Granger Smith. I'm Jake, eighteen years old. Just
Speaker 1: moved to Florida from Kentucky. Moved here to continue my
Speaker 1: education at the Universal Technical Institute to be a master mechanic.
Speaker 1: I moved here to get closer with a girl that
Speaker 1: I had been with for three years in Kentucky, and
Speaker 1: she moved to Florida. Then we had a big falling
Speaker 1: out not long after. Five months later, I still might
Speaker 1: find myself getting upset and thinking about her a lot.
Speaker 1: I missed that girl a lot. I love your podcast
Speaker 1: and enjoy listening to them. I always love your answers
Speaker 1: that you give to people. Any chance you can give
Speaker 1: me a little advice that might get me closer to
Speaker 1: getting over this girl. If you read this and talk
Speaker 1: about it, thank you, Thank you. Jake shout out to
Speaker 1: Kentucky and Florida. It's a different variation of the last questions.
Speaker 1: So this is it sounds like it's done. He has.
Speaker 1: He made a big step leaving Kentucky and going to
Speaker 1: Florida to be closer to her, and now she's gone.
Speaker 1: The first thing I think of, and this is always
Speaker 1: from that, you know, outside looking in, I don't not
Speaker 1: in the trenches with you, Jake. But the first thing
Speaker 1: I think of is you move there to be with her,
Speaker 1: But you also continued your education to be a master
Speaker 1: mechanic that you might not have had that kind of
Speaker 1: opportunity or that boost right without moving there for her.
Speaker 1: So there's already a big plus you're getting out of this.
Speaker 1: I know that doesn't make you feel any better, but
Speaker 1: it will later, oh for sure. And then you have
Speaker 1: to ask yourself too, what did you learn through that
Speaker 1: whole experience and through that relationship? You know, I'm sure
Speaker 1: there's there's value in everything that we go through, Granger,
Speaker 1: and so I realized it didn't work out the way
Speaker 1: that you wanted it to. But you're specifically asking the question,
Speaker 1: how do I get over her and how do I
Speaker 1: move on? I think it's very similar to it's grief.
Speaker 1: It's still grief. Grief is grief, whether it's a loss
Speaker 1: a love war and a loss of a relationship, And
Speaker 1: you know, you hold onto the fond memories and just
Speaker 1: understand that life is in this situation, Life is moving forward,
Speaker 1: and you've learned a lot, You've grown a lot. You're
Speaker 1: not the same person you were at the beginning of
Speaker 1: that relationship, and you know there's again there's value in everything.
Speaker 1: And here you are. You've got your degree, got a
Speaker 1: great career in front of you, you have your whole
Speaker 1: life ahead of you. And so that's a really encouraging thing.
Speaker 1: Something positive did come out of it. Yeah, and there's
Speaker 1: going to be so many more positive things you don't
Speaker 1: even know of. Jake and me and Christian consider and
Speaker 1: tell you a million stories between us and friends and other.
Speaker 1: This is this, this story, your story is thousands of
Speaker 1: years old. You know you fell in love and you
Speaker 1: lost her and now you miss her. The first thing
Speaker 1: I would say to you is if you say, how
Speaker 1: do I get over? It's a little a little more
Speaker 1: time go by. It's been five months, just hasn't been
Speaker 1: enough time yet you're still it's still fresh, the wound
Speaker 1: is still open, and just got a little little more
Speaker 1: time go by. And you've got to be you have
Speaker 1: to be open to move moving on, not closed and
Speaker 1: sad and lost, but you got to be more open
Speaker 1: to well, I'm here, I'm finishing my education. That's awesome.
Speaker 1: I'm meeting new relationships, new friends. You have now the
Speaker 1: opportunity to go back to Kentucky. Maybe you're free. Hey,
Speaker 1: you're free, dude, you're free. You can go back to Kentucky.
Speaker 1: You go back to your old friends, and you got
Speaker 1: to this awesome degree out of it. So you're going
Speaker 1: to see that as more months go by. But you're
Speaker 1: only five months in, so you're just you're just not there.
Speaker 1: So that's yes's for my advice. That's it. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: interesting you said something there. You said you got to
Speaker 1: be open to moving on. And I think that's an
Speaker 1: interesting statement because I believe any anytime we have to
Speaker 1: overcome something emotionally that we're going through our first choices,
Speaker 1: we got to choose to want to overcome it, like
Speaker 1: because sometimes I think when we're going through something, it's
Speaker 1: easier to sit in it, right, It's easy to be like, man,
Speaker 1: this hurts, this is painful. But somewhere because that hurts,
Speaker 1: is hurt too, and that hurt. Guess what, It's easier
Speaker 1: to be in the hurt than it is to overcome.
Speaker 1: But somewhere you've got to choose like, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to be I'm not staying like this, I'm going I'm
Speaker 1: going to overcome this. So that was a great I
Speaker 1: love that you shared that being in that hurt. He's
Speaker 1: still feeling the remnants of the love. So he's still
Speaker 1: kind of in a relationship with her. She's just not there.
Speaker 1: He's just instill in it. So you're gonna be You're
Speaker 1: gonna be just fine, Jake, just fine. Yep, let's do
Speaker 1: let's do one more. Christian. We have advice. We have
Speaker 1: troubled girls. We have need some advice, and we have
Speaker 1: faith and friends do advice, it says, Hang on a second,
Speaker 1: I'm messed up. This is Danielle. Shout out to Danielle.
Speaker 1: We love your girl. We love that. We love you
Speaker 1: so much that I didn't delete your email the first time,
Speaker 1: so that makes it easier. We have we have trouble
Speaker 1: with girls. Need some advice. Faith and friends. Faith and
Speaker 1: friends says, hey, grangew would you would you Christian? Would
Speaker 1: you believe I did this twice? Did you do it twice?
Speaker 1: But twice? That's Angie. When we got when we got
Speaker 1: off the break, I h hit some weird button on
Speaker 1: my iPhone in it unarchived things. Okay, now it's much easier.
Speaker 1: Trouble with girls or I need some advice. Trouble with girls.
Speaker 1: Trouble with girls. This is like a girl's episode. Is
Speaker 1: I was just thinking, we're episode. By the way, you
Speaker 1: knew I had repeated those subjects, didn't You said it early?
Speaker 1: I said it earlier, you didn't, So I'm going to
Speaker 1: tell you done that. He's done so many episodes. Surely
Speaker 1: he knows what he's doing. That's right, that's funny, Okay,
Speaker 1: trouble with girls. It says, hey, grade, your my name
Speaker 1: is Justin. I'm twenty I'm from Iowa. Shout out to
Speaker 1: Iowa says I've recently had a tough stretch of meeting
Speaker 1: some great girls and them leaving me because the timing
Speaker 1: wasn't right. I'm just lost because I feel like God
Speaker 1: is telling me that I'm ready to give someone all
Speaker 1: that I have to offer, but it keeps falling through.
Speaker 1: I was just wondering if you have any advice on dating,
Speaker 1: because I'm sure you've had you've dealt with similar similar situations.
Speaker 1: I love your music and what you do. Sincerely, Justin,
Speaker 1: Thank you. Brother twenty years old, Justin and Iowa. And
Speaker 1: he has had a series of girls that he really likes,
Speaker 1: great girls and then leaving him because the timing was
Speaker 1: all right, Okay, similar question to the last, but this
Speaker 1: is different. And here's the biggest reason why it's different, Justin,
Speaker 1: because there are a stretch of girls. There's several girls,
Speaker 1: meaning it's not their problem. Right, There's a common denominator.
Speaker 1: There's a common denominator, and that's you. Yeah, what would
Speaker 1: you tell to Justin if he came if he came
Speaker 1: to you and said Christian and he's dumped this on you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, first of all, Van Bro tough time, and
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to hear that, but you you know, again,
Speaker 1: there's a common denominator here, and listen to what they're saying. Listen,
Speaker 1: listen to their reasons for moving on, and and just
Speaker 1: grow from it and just on it. You know, as men,
Speaker 1: sometimes we've just got to take responsibility for the reasons
Speaker 1: why they felt like it wasn't going to work. And
Speaker 1: then two, I just want to encourage you and know
Speaker 1: that there is someone, there is someone out there for you.
Speaker 1: It's just clearly those ladies they weren't the right one.
Speaker 1: And again, be encouraged in that. And then the second part,
Speaker 1: what was the second question? He asked he asked this
Speaker 1: two questions. Oh, he said, I feel like I have
Speaker 1: so much to offer. What single person in their twenties
Speaker 1: isn't saying that right? You know? And that's kind of
Speaker 1: like I think of like immediately, I think, you know,
Speaker 1: there's tension that we fix and there's tension that we manage,
Speaker 1: and so I think that's just one of those so good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's one of those tensions that you just got to
Speaker 1: learn to manage that and there's tensions that we fix
Speaker 1: and tensions that we manage. Yeah, I love that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've never heard that. It's good advice. And so you've
Speaker 1: made you you're twenty, you're super young, you're maturing so
Speaker 1: exponentially right now, and I would this is a great
Speaker 1: season in your life to become the best version of
Speaker 1: yourself that you can be, because you need to be
Speaker 1: healthy to be in a healthy relationship. You can't take
Speaker 1: two unhealthy people put them in a relationship and have
Speaker 1: a healthy relationship. It requires two healthy people for a
Speaker 1: healthy relationship. So man again, you're still young. I imagine
Speaker 1: you're working on your education beginning of your career. Just hey,
Speaker 1: just be okay in the season of life that you're
Speaker 1: in and just work on the best version of yourself
Speaker 1: you can be right now, so good. And I know, justin.
Speaker 1: I know that's hard to hear Christians say that, because
Speaker 1: that doesn't just offer you a McDonald's happy meal solution
Speaker 1: right now, here and now and fix this craving. It
Speaker 1: doesn't solve it. But that's just the right advice. That's
Speaker 1: just what you're saying is just right. You have to
Speaker 1: be the best version of yourself, and now it's the
Speaker 1: perfect time. In a way, we all wish that we
Speaker 1: could be twenty again, not to be in a relationship,
Speaker 1: but to be the best version of ourselves and to
Speaker 1: work on us. There's two interesting things you say in
Speaker 1: this email. And I love it when when you guys
Speaker 1: help me answer yourself through your own question. I love
Speaker 1: it when you do that. So two things. One so
Speaker 1: I'm just lost or excuse me. One you say the
Speaker 1: girls have left me because the timing wasn't right. I'll
Speaker 1: tell you right now. The timing thing is a lie.
Speaker 1: It's always a lie in any relationship in life, at
Speaker 1: whatever age. It's never about the timing because if it
Speaker 1: was about the love, love would overcome time no matter
Speaker 1: what it's it's always I would just I'm not. It's
Speaker 1: not I'm not in the right place to be in
Speaker 1: a relationship, or I'm not I'm in this. I'm in
Speaker 1: school right now, and it's not there. It's never guts.
Speaker 1: If it's true love, it's if it's meaningful, If it matters,
Speaker 1: it overcomes, and it encompasses all of the life in between.
Speaker 1: It doesn't. Time does not matter. So if you hear
Speaker 1: that the time just in the timing's just not right,
Speaker 1: that means I just don't love you as Yeah, unfortunately
Speaker 1: it's an there's no easier way to say that. But
Speaker 1: the second thing is, and this is this is a
Speaker 1: kicker for me and you kind of I love how
Speaker 1: you kind of answered it. But you said I've lost
Speaker 1: because I feel like God is telling me I'm ready
Speaker 1: to give. I'm ready to give someone all of what
Speaker 1: I have that you know, he let us write to this,
Speaker 1: He led us to this. Let me say it again,
Speaker 1: you this is your words. I'm just lost because I
Speaker 1: feel like God is telling me I'm ready to give
Speaker 1: someone all that I have to offer. What if that's
Speaker 1: someone is God? What if God is calling you to
Speaker 1: give all of yourself to him, and what kind of
Speaker 1: blessing would you get out of that, including a relationship
Speaker 1: or or or things even greater than a relationship. But
Speaker 1: have you considered that? Have you considered that? That is
Speaker 1: what That's the reason you're lost. That's why you can't
Speaker 1: connect the dots and why these girls are not working out.
Speaker 1: And you feel like this, You feel this call from
Speaker 1: God and he's wanting you to give love. But it
Speaker 1: was not to give to a girl, it was to
Speaker 1: give to him. It's interesting. Yeah, and you and I
Speaker 1: both know Grange are that void that he's feeling can
Speaker 1: only be filled by the Lord. I can only be
Speaker 1: feeled by God. Is can never be filled by another
Speaker 1: relationship or by another girl. So truth is, until you,
Speaker 1: until you allow God to fill the God's size hole
Speaker 1: in your heart, they're never going to be that best
Speaker 1: version of yourself to be in that relationship. There is
Speaker 1: a God size hole in your heart and you could
Speaker 1: fill it with anything, you could feel it with any
Speaker 1: kind of substance or any kind of girl. And it's
Speaker 1: when you still feel lost, when you fill that hole
Speaker 1: with everything you can and you still feel empty, it's
Speaker 1: because only God could feel that. And that's why you
Speaker 1: feel lost. You don't feel lost because you've had some
Speaker 1: broken relationships here. That's not the reason. But you're the
Speaker 1: one justin that said God. You're the one that said it,
Speaker 1: not me. He set it up. He set it up.
Speaker 1: That's awesome. Appreciate you, buddy. That's all the time we have. Christian,
Speaker 1: you the man. I appreciate. Did you do this again?
Speaker 1: I'd love to if you guys, if you guys like Christian,
Speaker 1: please comment below. More Christians say more Christian. That's that's
Speaker 1: actually it's actually his name and he's William's son. That's right,
Speaker 1: there's some some William at some point had a son
Speaker 1: and that became your william son. I'm honored to be
Speaker 1: part of that for many of d That's right. Hey,
Speaker 1: thanks shout out to Alabama for Christian to see you
Speaker 1: guys more ego. Thanks for joining me on the Granger
Speaker 1: Smith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could
Speaker 1: help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If
Speaker 1: you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little
Speaker 1: like button and notification spell so that you never missed
Speaker 1: anytime I upload a video. If you have a question
Speaker 1: for me that you would like me to answer email.
Speaker 1: Granger Smith podcast a g mail dot com. Ye m HM,