Speaker 1: Hi, Welcome back to this episode.
Speaker 2: I'm so crazy.
Speaker 1: I'm so crazy. I'm so crazy.
Speaker 2: I'm so crazy. You should be scared of me. You
Speaker 2: hear my voice and if you close your eyes, it's
Speaker 2: like I'm in your car, in your bed, and you
Speaker 2: should be scared of me because I'm crazy. I wonder
Speaker 2: if anybody is like falling asleep listen to the podcast
Speaker 2: and hearing our voices and then it like starts off
Speaker 2: like a dream with us in it.
Speaker 1: Well, it's just a dream to be listening to us anyways.
Speaker 1: We just have dreamy energy.
Speaker 2: It's a nightmare. It's literally like a form of torture.
Speaker 1: It's awaking night.
Speaker 2: Like I know somewhere out there there's a couple that
Speaker 2: lives together, and like one of the people in that
Speaker 2: couple loves listening to us, and the other partner fucking
Speaker 2: hates it and then can't say anything. But then just
Speaker 2: like they like spat at each other about other things,
Speaker 2: when really the main problem is the partner hates hearing them.
Speaker 1: Literally, our podcast was described to us to our face
Speaker 1: as dead air filler, So like I don't even listen,
Speaker 1: I just put it on in the background, works on.
Speaker 1: Something is the.
Speaker 2: Person said they could imagine it being that for other people,
Speaker 2: but for him it was just too much.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but on the lowest of keys. He listens
Speaker 1: all the time, and I know that for a fact,
Speaker 1: Like he listens to every single episode.
Speaker 3: Who the folks said that? And also do you want
Speaker 3: me to beat them up?
Speaker 1: Yes? Please, yes please? But I genuine I was like, honestly,
Speaker 1: that's a compliment, like we're still getting paid, like I
Speaker 1: know you.
Speaker 2: He was like, I don't watch all but I subscribe.
Speaker 2: I do what I can. And I was like, literally,
Speaker 2: subscribing does nothing for us, Like that's like the least,
Speaker 2: like that's actually nothing news.
Speaker 1: It's like boyd, But he meant it with full kindness,
Speaker 1: and that's how I took it, because I give people grace.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I'm really mad at my dad because he
Speaker 2: doesn't listen.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, love mortified.
Speaker 2: If your dad listens, I'm like, hello, I literally talk
Speaker 2: about like fingering butts and stuff like why don't you
Speaker 2: want to hear that?
Speaker 1: I literally talk about my wingbot vibe rater three thousand
Speaker 1: every single episode.
Speaker 2: I'll never forget. I think I've mentioned this before and
Speaker 2: I think I have it on recording somewhere, but I
Speaker 2: asked him if he listens, and he was like, you know,
Speaker 2: I think you guys are really funny, but I just
Speaker 2: don't think I need to hear that. And I was
Speaker 2: like oh, and then he was like yeah, like there's
Speaker 2: definitely things you say that as a dad, even as
Speaker 2: close as we are, I don't need to hear. And
Speaker 2: I was like, honestly, respect because my dad, I will say,
Speaker 2: I'm not even offended because one I understand, like you said,
Speaker 2: if he listened, I would be mortified, but my dad
Speaker 2: already thinks I'm funny, so I don't have anything to prove.
Speaker 1: I love that. Well, my dad did this like funny
Speaker 1: prank on me one time, where like we lived in
Speaker 1: a house that had a basement before, and no one
Speaker 1: ever went down there because it was like oogy, spooky,
Speaker 1: scary vibes, like we fucking hated it down there, and
Speaker 1: so like one day he asked me to go get
Speaker 1: some like cans of beans from the shelves downstairs because
Speaker 1: like that's cold air like kept them stable. Da da
Speaker 1: da da da. So I went down there and he
Speaker 1: shut the door behind me and locked it, and I
Speaker 1: was trapped in there for two weeks, and he would
Speaker 1: throw snakes and stuff down downstairs.
Speaker 2: Rank.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it was like funny. We were all laughing
Speaker 1: about it. You were laughing about it, even No I was.
Speaker 1: I was screaming and crying for the whole two weeks.
Speaker 1: But like, yeah, he pushed me down the stairs.
Speaker 2: Would be grateful he left you down there with some beans.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was. It was horrible. I'm scared of chickpeas now,
Speaker 1: even though there's such a great source of protein. Ye,
Speaker 1: everybody needs more chickpeas in their diet.
Speaker 2: No chickpeas, Like, I can't both have trauma.
Speaker 1: With you know what I'm thinking about, literally trauma.
Speaker 2: If chickpeas is a high source of protein for you
Speaker 2: in your diet, say the fuck away, get back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, actually that is true. Like any person that eats
Speaker 1: chickpeas is a dangerous person.
Speaker 2: Chickpeas are fucking nasty. Chickpeas are literally like.
Speaker 1: I actually did have my mom made chickpeas where she
Speaker 1: like covered them in like like spices and shit, and
Speaker 1: they were like crunchy, like fucking cheese its and they
Speaker 1: were so Youngersville. I was on TikTok and I stumbled
Speaker 1: across a couple videos that I genuinely think are the
Speaker 1: greatest thing that anybody has ever made for us, like
Speaker 1: point blank period. And they are these American girl doll animations.
Speaker 1: I'm literally obsessed with them. I'm not gonna be able
Speaker 1: to find them because I don't know the person's name
Speaker 1: and I like four thousand videos on TikTok a day,
Speaker 1: so well and them insert them here.
Speaker 2: A song of the week is literally just Ribs by
Speaker 2: Lord because that song is a fucking class dude.
Speaker 1: I love that song.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: They are so fucking good, and it reminds me of
Speaker 1: like when we were on like episode forty and someone
Speaker 1: made like a Lego animation. Oh yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: It kind of freaked me out.
Speaker 1: Actually, okay, let me say beheaded me when I fuck.
Speaker 2: When I first saw the account, I was like, this
Speaker 2: is really funny. But then what started to freak me
Speaker 2: out is their first two tiktoks were emergency intercom tiktoks,
Speaker 2: and then the next two were random clips from another show.
Speaker 2: And then for some reason, that's what made me feel
Speaker 2: a little funky because I was like, oh wait, this
Speaker 2: person was like really gonna make this like a variety channel,
Speaker 2: and like it's not even like an ego thing. For
Speaker 2: some reason, it would make more sense if it was
Speaker 2: just like one of our followers or like listeners who
Speaker 2: was just like thought it'd be funny to make us
Speaker 2: into American girl dolls, but spreading it out into a
Speaker 2: genre of like multiple things for some recent like.
Speaker 1: There's probably a million of those like American girl doll
Speaker 1: animations account and she just like tapped in at the
Speaker 1: right block and time and now she's popping off. I
Speaker 1: mean it makes.
Speaker 2: Because I remember like there was a channel on YouTube
Speaker 2: that did that with barbies, and it was really funny.
Speaker 2: There was like a whole thing. I don't know if
Speaker 2: you guys are gonna know, it's like it's girl that's girls.
Speaker 2: The girls know. But there was like this thing where
Speaker 2: like it was like a high school drama that somebody
Speaker 2: made a show of this. Yeah, and then one of
Speaker 2: the barbies was like pregnant and like like it was
Speaker 2: like this whole thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I genuine I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: And fuck what was one of the girls. No, of course,
Speaker 1: like duh, Kaya is not one of the girls.
Speaker 3: No, I know about this, so what is it? I
Speaker 3: didn't speak on it, but I totally know about everything
Speaker 3: these what is they're saying? It's like a show with barbies,
Speaker 3: and they they they made a show out of it.
Speaker 3: I get it. I totally get it, and I'll see it.
Speaker 1: They play the barbies play with each other's boobs and
Speaker 1: take baths.
Speaker 3: Oh I don't. I'm not watching that because that is disrespectful.
Speaker 2: Okay, I hate that. That just made me think of this.
Speaker 2: But one time me, Drew and Josie went home. We
Speaker 2: looked up We looked up Elson on a kissing.
Speaker 1: Oh, the greatest ever.
Speaker 2: We found the craziest, like three D render of somebody. Actually,
Speaker 2: I don't know if I think we were looking up frozen.
Speaker 1: I sent those in to be on the fucking TVs,
Speaker 1: and you asked them. I wanted Elson make it out
Speaker 1: behind me, to have.
Speaker 2: It playing all the time. Yeah, but how did we
Speaker 2: look that? Did we look up Elson on?
Speaker 1: Josiah looked up Elson on his like and they kiss
Speaker 1: and it's.
Speaker 2: Beautiful, the weirdest video ever.
Speaker 1: But yeah, that is uh, the fucking sea of it all.
Speaker 3: Do you remember when a fan made a roadblock server? Yeah,
Speaker 3: Imber in singercom and then there was just a part
Speaker 3: where you could kill me.
Speaker 1: I did not remember that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there was a part we could shoot me with
Speaker 3: a fucking gun and I would explode.
Speaker 1: Someone came up to us and was literally like, honestly,
Speaker 1: you guys have gotten soft. Y'all are being too nice
Speaker 1: to Kayle, Like you need to go back to like
Speaker 1: bullying him.
Speaker 3: I know I missed when you used to like choke
Speaker 3: me and shit, fuck I miss that the way that.
Speaker 2: I think you got slapped last episode.
Speaker 3: No, that was like a couple episodes ago, but every
Speaker 3: episode the way that my toes girl. Yeah, we can
Speaker 3: go to the next subject. Sam Daniel, Wait, damn Daniel
Speaker 3: Alex Alex from Target, you.
Speaker 2: Were explaining something. Fuck oh, we were talking about that
Speaker 2: Rowing movie and you were talking about like, oh, how
Speaker 2: like it was such an intense movie because like these
Speaker 2: people were like kind of bred to do this spore
Speaker 2: and there was this one like Savant who was so
Speaker 2: good at it blah blah blah. And then I was
Speaker 2: like yeah, and then she ended up on Ellen because
Speaker 2: that is like the reality of what we I guess actually,
Speaker 2: Ellen is gone. Kids are growing up right now and
Speaker 2: they don't know that, Like, if you were tapped in,
Speaker 2: you would be on Ellen, like that was twenty sixteen.
Speaker 1: If you got one hundred thousand likes on fucking Instagram
Speaker 1: or Twitter, you are on Ellen.
Speaker 2: You're first class ticket to Ellen's studio.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Wait, is she done because she was mean or she
Speaker 3: just was like I'm done.
Speaker 1: I think she was getting called mean and then she
Speaker 1: was just like, Okay, I can't handle this. I'm like
Speaker 1: seven thousand years old in a fucking vampire so I'm
Speaker 1: gonna retire. And then it all came out afterwards that
Speaker 1: she was just mean and evil.
Speaker 3: Again. I like it when my bosses mean to me, but.
Speaker 1: I know more people need to like respect their mean bosses.
Speaker 1: Like okay, So my three biggest obsessions ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
Speaker 1: ever started with exotic animals, like I was fucking obsessed
Speaker 1: with like I wanted to have a fucking zoo in
Speaker 1: my house. And there was this girl named Janda Exotics
Speaker 1: and she still sells and flips like yeah no, she
Speaker 1: still sells and flips like rare fucking exotic animals. And
Speaker 1: like in Texas at the time, you didn't need licenses
Speaker 1: for this, so I was fully convinced. Like when I
Speaker 1: was like living on my own in Grandberry because I
Speaker 1: was so young, I didn't know, like you could move
Speaker 1: out of my hometown. You're ass fuck No, I know
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 2: You were weird as fuck, like thought daughter or weird
Speaker 2: ass Drew Phillips son like you.
Speaker 1: They're picking me every time, which.
Speaker 2: I would have put you up for adopted. I feel
Speaker 2: like my son is that you.
Speaker 3: You haven't changed it all. You're always from about bears
Speaker 3: and otters and like.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I've noticed.
Speaker 1: That too, and I don't know no, yeah, I love
Speaker 1: I love animals, bears and otters, big bears, otters, like
Speaker 1: like I love the way the otters swim.
Speaker 3: And he's always like hairy bears, like all bears are hair.
Speaker 2: We know that. Yeah, I guess are there hairless bears?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Hell no not in my life. Abs are fucking litely,
Speaker 1: not nasty.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Fuck miss Everty. You ate you to our thank you,
Speaker 1: but shut the fuck up. I'm just being into you
Speaker 1: to like get back in.
Speaker 3: No, I get it, bro, I fucking like it.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I was obsessed with like exotic animals, and
Speaker 1: there was this time in my life where we had
Speaker 1: an extra bedroom in my house that was like the
Speaker 1: guest room, and it had like a mini little porch
Speaker 1: that went into the backyard. And I'm not kidding. I
Speaker 1: went into like PowerPoint Excel, like I like started, I
Speaker 1: put it into like ms paint to like draw what
Speaker 1: like this cage would look like, because I was trying
Speaker 1: to convince my parents to let me adopt in albino
Speaker 1: Burmese python that they get like fucking twenty three feet long,
Speaker 1: their giant snakes, and like I was convinced that they
Speaker 1: were gonna let me retrofit this guest room into like
Speaker 1: an enclosure, an indoor outdoor enclosure, where like we would
Speaker 1: break the walls down and build up like an outside
Speaker 1: cage so it could go inside and outside and they
Speaker 1: would have like a pool and shit. And I was
Speaker 1: fully convinced that. I was like, Okay, this PowerPoint is
Speaker 1: gonna below their fucking mind. I wish I still had
Speaker 1: access to it, but like I was batshit fucking crazy,
Speaker 1: like I don't know why the fuck I thought that
Speaker 1: that was ever a possibility. And then also the thing
Speaker 1: that like because I was still obsessed after they said no,
Speaker 1: and I was like okay, like I just got to
Speaker 1: keep like chipping away, like eventually they're gonna fucking break.
Speaker 1: I was like nine years old and already a master manipulator, manipulator.
Speaker 1: I was a master manipulator. And I remember finding I
Speaker 1: saw a video of an albi I think my mom
Speaker 1: showed it to me, like trying to convince me that
Speaker 1: I did not need this thing. But I saw a
Speaker 1: video of an albino Burmese python eating and they fed it.
Speaker 1: They would feed it live rabbits, and like they would
Speaker 1: just let them hop into the enclosure and they would
Speaker 1: just bite it and wrap up and like squeeze it
Speaker 1: until the fucking eyes popped out of these little bunnies.
Speaker 1: And like after that moment, I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: do not need a fucking Burmese python, but a kinkaju
Speaker 1: I still have love for and I want I want
Speaker 1: that bad. I want that so bad.
Speaker 2: When I was nine, I was really praying that the
Speaker 2: lights would stay on and that I would have like
Speaker 2: a decent meal.
Speaker 1: You're poor, broke, and that I could find happiness that's
Speaker 1: never gonna happen, not with Kay in your life.
Speaker 3: Dude.
Speaker 2: I was waiting so long for you, and so I
Speaker 2: could reply with that. Like halfway through the story, I
Speaker 2: was like, I can't wait to John.
Speaker 1: Did you even hear what I said?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I did. You were wishing that you were gonna
Speaker 2: get a fucking killer ass snake for you're a freak.
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Like okay, Also, like why were you yearning so bad
Speaker 2: for a fucking snake? Like? I don't think there was
Speaker 2: anything I wanted that bad at nine years old.
Speaker 1: I just was obsessed with animals, like I wanted. I
Speaker 1: literally wanted a fucking zoo. Like I literally like wanted
Speaker 1: like a lizard enclosure with like drawers that you would
Speaker 1: pull out, and I wanted to like cross breed them
Speaker 1: and make new like genres of like leopard geckos and shit.
Speaker 1: Like I fully was convinced that that was gonna.
Speaker 2: Can't remember when what I was doing when I was
Speaker 2: nine was like fucking getting scared of Bloody Mary and
Speaker 2: then like in turn, putting that trauma onto other kids
Speaker 2: and teaching them about Bloody Mary and like freaking them
Speaker 2: the barkeep.
Speaker 1: Fuck, I was gonna make a joke about like the
Speaker 1: barkeep saying bloody Mary, Oh my.
Speaker 2: God, you're fucking rotted. Oh what it was when we
Speaker 2: were filming the Patreon episode, I was talking and you
Speaker 2: just could being like me when I'm a hacker and
Speaker 2: I'm hacking and everything I said. He was like me
Speaker 2: when I'm a BA and I'm blah blah blah. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we don't do that anymore. We used to like point
Speaker 2: to everything and be like me when and blah blah
Speaker 2: blah blah.
Speaker 1: I know we need to bring that back. Me and
Speaker 1: when I'm seventy five thousand years.
Speaker 2: Old, okay, me when I'm forty eight drinking a beer
Speaker 2: at eleven am and I'm so sad and I'm weird.
Speaker 3: I just turned thirty. This is a liquid death. Okay.
Speaker 2: Thirty looks good on you?
Speaker 1: I know it does.
Speaker 2: You've been I don't have my glasses on.
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 1: Oh wow, wait yeah I put kaikim on, put kai
Speaker 1: kaim on. Thirty looks like really really good. You stop
Speaker 1: rising up the fucking camp.
Speaker 3: I know, dude, I'm literally just looking at.
Speaker 1: Wait no, we got kaya cam y'all are you guys happy?
Speaker 2: Does it look good? Let us know?
Speaker 3: Yeah, the team said it's gonna look good as fuck,
Speaker 3: so I'm so excited about it. It will be high definition?
Speaker 2: Is that what's called.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they shot the Earth series on this camera. It's IMAX,
Speaker 3: So yeah, little joke, Okay.
Speaker 1: You need IMAX.
Speaker 2: Well, you guys drooling?
Speaker 1: How about that? Like, what are you going to say?
Speaker 3: Oh look, I'm saying like there was a period where
Speaker 3: you guys were nice to me and I fucking loved it.
Speaker 3: But also you guys, I was never nice to you.
Speaker 2: There's I gave you grace.
Speaker 1: There's a video proof of the difference.
Speaker 3: There's video proof of it. But if you guys want
Speaker 3: to be mean to me, please please please mean to
Speaker 3: me because it was a long.
Speaker 1: Time, it's been a while. Well you are drooling right
Speaker 1: in your sleep. Yeah, well, me and Enya slept in
Speaker 1: the same bed like a couple of nights ago, snoring. No,
Speaker 1: it's on me. I did something very naughty and bad.
Speaker 1: I literally, like there's a video the video of me
Speaker 1: like snuggling up against you when I fell asleep, and
Speaker 1: I was literally overheating and like had like four layers
Speaker 1: of fucking sweat on my body. I woke up and
Speaker 1: my pj's were like moisty from how that, which I
Speaker 1: think I literally broke fever. I was like obviously sunburnt,
Speaker 1: but like I might have just like been sick with
Speaker 1: something and just not known because my immune system is
Speaker 1: just so powerful and strong and that's like a testament
Speaker 1: to of.
Speaker 2: Who I am, like immunity person ever, like you don't
Speaker 2: have immunity.
Speaker 1: H Rue Paul and the New All Stars. Yeah you
Speaker 1: don't look at yourself. But anyways, it was like nine
Speaker 1: am and like I don't know why, but in the morning,
Speaker 1: like when I like waking up, I start riding around.
Speaker 1: Yeah you, I know, I was gonna say. I literally
Speaker 1: like fucking like was writhing around and throwing my head
Speaker 1: in my pillow and shit, and I like went and
Speaker 1: like hit you in the like literally in the fucking
Speaker 1: face with my head, and like I was laying there
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, and I'm so sorry,
Speaker 1: and you just like fell back asleep like almost immediately.
Speaker 1: But I was sitting there and I was like, fuck, dude,
Speaker 1: that hurt me. Like it like felt like I had
Speaker 1: a not like I was concussed, and I was like,
Speaker 1: look I hit her heart.
Speaker 2: I'm such a heavy sleeper, Like I love my sleep
Speaker 2: so much. I remember waking up and like and then
Speaker 2: just like moving over and going back to sleep. I
Speaker 2: like I remember the sound I made like moving over.
Speaker 1: I like hit you hard as fuck, and I was like,
Speaker 1: holy shit, like I literally just like headbutted her like
Speaker 1: it felt like I had an actual concussion. But then
Speaker 1: I just got up and moved on and didn't bring
Speaker 1: it up because I wanted to bring it up on
Speaker 1: the podcast.
Speaker 2: And I think in that same sleep though, you were
Speaker 2: on my side so fucking crazy, because I know this
Speaker 2: one was that night. No bitch, you were pissing me
Speaker 2: off because he came so fucking close to me and
Speaker 2: his elbow at one point like nudged into me, and
Speaker 2: I this I remember, I went like, and then I
Speaker 2: moved over. Really yes, but you were like all of
Speaker 2: my ship and I woke up. I was like, mm,
Speaker 2: like trying to make a noise, so you move, and
Speaker 2: then you like kind of like nuzzled in like you
Speaker 2: were like not gonna move. So I literally like.
Speaker 1: You're beating the ship out of me. In my fucking sleep, bro,
Speaker 1: That's why I had a bruised kidney. I was wondering
Speaker 1: why my fucking back hurts so bad?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I know, my back hurts so fucking bad.
Speaker 2: I keep sleeping on my side and I'm not kidding guys,
Speaker 2: Like I'm like the old person in the room who's
Speaker 2: like getting out of br like stretching my back like
Speaker 2: eighteen times of a conversation, and I'm not gonna do
Speaker 2: anything about it. Actually, I want to get one of
Speaker 2: those pillows that keeps you on your back. But then
Speaker 2: I saw this girl talking about it like to prevent wrinkles,
Speaker 2: and bitch, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1: Like I was, it was always something. It's always something.
Speaker 2: Y'all are so scared to wait.
Speaker 1: Also, just when you're on your fucking deathbed and all
Speaker 1: you cared about in your life was looking beautiful, you're
Speaker 1: gonna regret all the time you spent trying to be
Speaker 1: beautiful and being insecure about not being beautiful. It doesn't
Speaker 1: and it does not matter. That goes without saying I'm sexy,
Speaker 1: hot and this is me without trying. I just imagine.
Speaker 3: I just want to say, you're like super privileged. Both
Speaker 3: of you guys are super privileged. You can say that's
Speaker 3: your privilege, and you guys are just like beautiful people. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's pretty privilege.
Speaker 1: Like hard for me. I get everything that was ugly
Speaker 1: as fuck growing up.
Speaker 2: This shiit didn't come easy. I grew up with a
Speaker 2: very easy for me sister compliments all the time, and
Speaker 2: I felt like an ugly duckling like crazy boots. That's
Speaker 2: literally why I'm funny is because I remember, like very
Speaker 2: vividly walking into school with my like three year old sister,
Speaker 2: four year old sister going to pre k and everybody
Speaker 2: being like, she's so, you're so beautiful, You're so beautiful.
Speaker 2: I'm right fucking here, and your forty eight years that's
Speaker 2: what I give me a compliment.
Speaker 1: That's literally what I keep thinking about with that fucking
Speaker 1: Sentia baby, like the yeah, there's another there's another fucking
Speaker 1: little girl that's like being ignored and abused, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: y'all need to start giving her attention, Like, y'all need to.
Speaker 2: Start giving her attention or she's gonna end up.
Speaker 1: With a podcast. Just didn't end up looking like Enya bro.
Speaker 4: Like, like no, I will never forget that because I
Speaker 4: remember like being like twenty and really sitting with myself
Speaker 4: and wondering why I have like all these weird insecurities
Speaker 4: about whether I am like perceived as beautiful or not.
Speaker 2: And it literally is because this forty eight year old
Speaker 2: woman would compliment my sister all the time. I'm right here,
Speaker 2: like I'm right here. Even give me a lie, be
Speaker 2: like you look cute today. And I know I look
Speaker 2: like shit because I didn't have a fucking mother figure.
Speaker 2: So I would literally like I had long ass hair
Speaker 2: that I would tie into a back ponytail, and all
Speaker 2: my fucking uniforms were thrift into the red and I
Speaker 2: looked like a I don't know, I looked like a fucking.
Speaker 1: Any This isn't funny.
Speaker 3: This is trauma.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is trauma.
Speaker 2: No, it's funny.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 3: I don't want this to have in a woman, So
Speaker 3: whenever I drive by one, I'll.
Speaker 5: Be like.
Speaker 1: Whenever I saw women on the sidewalk and it just rained,
Speaker 1: I go towards the puddle to fucking soak them. I'm
Speaker 1: an in cell girl. I saw a femme cell like
Speaker 1: that doesn't know she's a femme cell yet on TikTok,
Speaker 1: and I was like, WHOA, she might be the next killer,
Speaker 1: she might be the first killer. Anyways, we don't have
Speaker 1: to fucking go there. No, No, Andrew is very I
Speaker 1: think it is powerful and good. But my second episode,
Speaker 1: what are we gonna say?
Speaker 2: I'm trying to remember because I was going to say
Speaker 2: something so stupid, but it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: My second obsession growing up was roller coasters, So I
Speaker 1: vividly remember.
Speaker 2: What do you ever play Thrillville? Oh? Of course I
Speaker 2: got throa was so fucking.
Speaker 1: And what was the other roller coaster game? Like roller
Speaker 1: Coaster Tacoon? Yeah, Tycoon? And then down the other game dude,
Speaker 1: Oh my god. In high school, that just unlocked a
Speaker 1: memory like I played, No, I didn't you so much Roadblocks.
Speaker 1: There was a day where I literally played nine hours
Speaker 1: of Roadblocks on the weekend with one of my best friends.
Speaker 1: Time for us, No, it was it was dead ass
Speaker 1: nine hour straight and we played Cops and Robbers and
Speaker 1: we just like literally just played that game for like
Speaker 1: it was horrible. It was like looking, we like like
Speaker 1: left and we were like the next day we like
Speaker 1: linked up again and we were like, why the fuck
Speaker 1: did we do that? Like we were the same.
Speaker 3: Dude. I think as recently as two years ago, you
Speaker 3: were playing a Roadblocks game every day and all you
Speaker 3: did in this fucking game, and you know was did
Speaker 3: you ever see him play this show? I think? So
Speaker 3: you would just lift to weight and get bigger you
Speaker 3: just click on the screen and lift weights.
Speaker 2: There's another game he was playing for a long time
Speaker 2: that it was just a clicking game. It was like
Speaker 2: it was like you have to get like big, like
Speaker 2: your like your circle to be bigger. And he would
Speaker 2: just like click there all day. And I would come
Speaker 2: into his room and he's clicking, and I was like,
Speaker 2: are you gonna win anything? And he was like no,
Speaker 2: but I just need to keep my ranking. And he
Speaker 2: would like get addicted to that kind of shit, and
Speaker 2: I was like, dude, you were weird as fun.
Speaker 1: Dude, Cookie Clicker was my ship. Like I love Tycoons,
Speaker 1: but that's what I was gonna say, is like I
Speaker 1: that unlocked the memory of like me playing a bunch
Speaker 1: of taycos UNEs on roadblocks for like two years straight.
Speaker 1: But I was saying roller coasters. There was a website
Speaker 1: and I cannot find it, but on my old laptop
Speaker 1: it's still saved as like a booked mark icon for
Speaker 1: some reason. But there was a website of the top
Speaker 1: one hundred roller coasters in the world with like just
Speaker 1: the names. And I would go on that website and
Speaker 1: I would go watch YouTube videos on it, and then
Speaker 1: I had an Excel sheet where I would rank them,
Speaker 1: like based on which one I wanted to ride the most.
Speaker 1: Obviously King de Ka was like the number one, like,
Speaker 1: and then there was like the Titans.
Speaker 2: Have you ever been free?
Speaker 1: Huh?
Speaker 2: Have you ever just like been free of whatever you're
Speaker 2: talking about?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: No, Like what?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: This is my life. I've become hyper obsessed with something
Speaker 1: for like a very long time, and now that I'm
Speaker 1: an adult, those time periods are shortened because I can
Speaker 1: actually do it or buy it. Like for a while
Speaker 1: it was like music equipment.
Speaker 2: I guess. Yeah, it's like the yearning. Like there's a
Speaker 2: certain kind of yearning you have as a child that
Speaker 2: now in your adulthood you don't get anymore because if
Speaker 2: you really wanted it, you could just like make sure
Speaker 2: it happens.
Speaker 1: I was trying to escape the basement.
Speaker 2: You did all of this in that two weeks. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I hit a record high. I didn't hit my puff
Speaker 2: bar for twenty six minutes of this episode or twenty five, wow,
Speaker 2: or however long it's been.
Speaker 1: That's actually really impressive. And then my current obsession is tornadoesop.
Speaker 1: I have seen every single fucking tornado video and now
Speaker 1: it's to the point where I'm buying radar software and
Speaker 1: I've learned the velocity maps, I'm learning reflex maps, like
Speaker 1: I'm like studying mediology meteor how do you say meteorology
Speaker 1: right now? Actively, Like I have like twenty tabs open
Speaker 1: with like all of like the different type.
Speaker 2: That's kind of like an impressive thing when you like something,
Speaker 2: you actually learned about it. When I like something, I
Speaker 2: just look at it.
Speaker 1: No, you do that like with fashion and shit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess with fashion and like maybe with like
Speaker 2: certain musicians, and that's kind of it.
Speaker 1: Like I don't do that with musicians. I love magicians, y'all.
Speaker 1: Like I could tell you all about it, like I
Speaker 1: brought it was.
Speaker 2: I think it was like Suki and Bobby and Off
Speaker 2: on their podcast on Bobby's podcast where she asked her
Speaker 2: like what she felt about being a musician, and Suki
Speaker 2: misheard her and she was like, I'm not a magician,
Speaker 2: a magician, I'm not a manipulator.
Speaker 1: Wait, oh yeah, Kai, you went to the manipulator. I did.
Speaker 3: Oh. I forgot to edit down the audio because I
Speaker 3: recorded it, Okay, I got so nervous that I accidentally
Speaker 3: stopped recording halfway through but we might be able to
Speaker 3: answer it next time. But basically, I entered the psychic's
Speaker 3: house thinking that she was going to say the same
Speaker 3: exact shit to me, and she did not. Dude, she
Speaker 3: did not say that I was surrounded by evil energy
Speaker 3: she said. She said. She did say I was weak,
Speaker 3: which is true. That's facts. I am weak, but she
Speaker 3: didn't say I kept asking. I was like, is there
Speaker 3: any evil surrounding me? She's like, no, there's like good
Speaker 3: people surrounding you. And I was like, okay, oh, you.
Speaker 2: Know what's happening right now.
Speaker 1: You're the evil motherfucker, evil motherfucker, you're the killer and
Speaker 1: we're the good people.
Speaker 2: Wow. So I have to go, and she's gonna be
Speaker 2: like there's one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well let's confirm that when Enya goes, because we
Speaker 3: need like that triple confirmation because I lowkey I feel
Speaker 3: like I'm a super good person.
Speaker 2: Be like you're so amazing, Like you've really like navigated
Speaker 2: this life so clearly, like you have so much grace
Speaker 2: and empathy and love, and like I think, well bautreine
Speaker 2: and lithium would do you wonders.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm hoping. Well, I'm gonna go back and
Speaker 1: they're just gonna say I can just tell you have
Speaker 1: a giant fucking cock. I can see it through your pants.
Speaker 2: Okay, so she said you were a good person.
Speaker 3: She said, well, she was like, fear dictates your life.
Speaker 3: And I was like, I actually agree with that one
Speaker 3: hundred percent. So she was like, right, she said fear fear,
Speaker 3: And she was like, you need to like unlock your
Speaker 3: full potential by like overcoming things that are within yourself.
Speaker 3: There's no external like obstacles. It's all from within. I
Speaker 3: was like, because I was expecting her to just be like,
Speaker 3: you're surrounded by evil people. There's a curse.
Speaker 1: Did she try to recruit you for the church?
Speaker 3: She did try to recruit like every single time. I said, Look,
Speaker 3: I've done a lot of work on myself. I've gone
Speaker 3: a lot of help from other people, whatever me from Drew.
Speaker 3: And I was like, can I do this on my own?
Speaker 3: Like I really want to feel empowered, I want to
Speaker 3: feel autonomy. And she'd be like, no, absolutely not, absolutely not.
Speaker 3: You can't do it on your own. But I will
Speaker 3: give her this. She said, I was gonna get married
Speaker 3: and then I get a fucking divorce. I'm gonna have
Speaker 3: two marriages.
Speaker 1: Damn.
Speaker 2: I feel like being a divorce is kind of coinn.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's trauma.
Speaker 1: I want to be married in the divorce. Who was that?
Speaker 1: Who was saying that for a long time?
Speaker 2: Rain, Rain like went through this whole year being like,
Speaker 2: it'd be so cut to get married for like two
Speaker 2: days and then get a divorce immediately after, just so
Speaker 2: she can like and she she would be like, I
Speaker 2: don't want it to be anybody who I have like
Speaker 2: a serious relationship with. I just want to be somebody
Speaker 2: who's like almost a friend. But we like kind of
Speaker 2: flirted and nothing ever happened, but we got married and
Speaker 2: then got divorced. With that when I saw them in
Speaker 2: public and be like, my ex husband.
Speaker 3: Is here, but yeah, basically she did not tell me
Speaker 3: the same thing. I thought she was like fully a
Speaker 3: scammer and was just going.
Speaker 1: To say, like that reignited my fears that she's she's
Speaker 1: a magician. Yeah, where's the other ship that you guys?
Speaker 1: I haven't been able to sleep after that.
Speaker 2: I know Drew keeps like freaking out and thinking that
Speaker 2: he's actually fucking cursed, and I don't know what to
Speaker 2: do about it because usually when Drew's just freaking out
Speaker 2: about something that I know isn't real. I just ignore
Speaker 2: it because I can't feed into it. But he cursed.
Speaker 3: I was nervous too, like I left that ship. I'm
Speaker 3: always nervous around powerful women, so this isn't like anything new.
Speaker 3: But I did have this shooting pain in my prostate
Speaker 3: when I left, and I was like, you anyway, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: So I need to go and see what she says
Speaker 2: about me.
Speaker 3: I think so we need the final confirmation.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm in the mental state for
Speaker 2: her to say some function to me. I think i'd
Speaker 2: freak out.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm in the state for the
Speaker 3: conclusion of this. Is that me being the evil person? Yeah,
Speaker 3: you might be the evil So because I'm so sweet,
Speaker 3: I feel like we can all agree.
Speaker 2: Okay, so I'll go tomorrow. What time did you go?
Speaker 1: I want to eleven tomato potato chicken, But that old
Speaker 1: Jack and LGBT Lettuce Wait, hold on, LGBT late Lettuce bisexual.
Speaker 1: Wait fuck LGBT gaycin bisexual but wait no, no buttato.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Oh no, I said potato.
Speaker 1: You said potato.
Speaker 2: Potato lettuce, get bacon potato.
Speaker 1: Girl, I'm like rotted right now, it's over for me.
Speaker 2: I know I took a I took sleeping medicine last night,
Speaker 2: like nothing like fucking crazy. But I never take like
Speaker 2: an advil PM or anything like. That's very rare, and
Speaker 2: I it was so hard to wake up this morning.
Speaker 2: And now I feel like there's like a layer over
Speaker 2: my brain that's going to be there for the rest
Speaker 2: of my life.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be there for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1: You should freak out, you should panic.
Speaker 2: Actually, don't give a fuck. Caviars pushing it. That's my
Speaker 2: final take, Penny our Caviar is pushing it like you're
Speaker 2: eating fucking sperm from fish, Like that's crazy. You're eating
Speaker 2: fucking eggs like for some reason, Caviar is just pushing it. Also,
Speaker 2: like why the fuck is it so expensive? Is it
Speaker 2: really hard to like get it?
Speaker 1: I think you have to like kill the mother goose
Speaker 1: to like get it out of them.
Speaker 2: That's fucking crazy, and that shit is not that good.
Speaker 1: I've seen them like squeeze the belly of the girls
Speaker 1: and they like piss out of their vagina and the
Speaker 1: eggs like I've seen those videos. I watch those like
Speaker 1: all the second nerve. I love watching those videos. Yeah no,
Speaker 1: literally the the fucking blasters, the gel blasters.
Speaker 2: And y'll do that.
Speaker 1: Not doing it, You're just I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying. Well,
Speaker 1: I've been sobbing at twin announcement videos and I want
Speaker 1: twins so fucking bad, y'all. I went on like an
Speaker 1: hour rampage of watching every single video of twins being
Speaker 1: announced to their friends, family, extended family, and loved ones,
Speaker 1: and like they were making me cry my fucking eyes out.
Speaker 1: They are so cute, just like them being like, yeah,
Speaker 1: they're the gender is a girl, and then they're like,
Speaker 1: but also we're having a boy. And then the grandma
Speaker 1: will start sobbing and excitement and like all their friends
Speaker 1: will be like, are you fucking kidding me? Like that's
Speaker 1: not good, and it's just cute. Just seeing like the
Speaker 1: different relationships people have with their loved ones.
Speaker 2: It's crazy. I'm never gonna get that feeling.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm like, we'll have twins. I don't have
Speaker 1: I have twins, ferm. I don't want kids.
Speaker 2: I literally don't want kids. Like it's actually sometimes it
Speaker 2: bums me out because I'm damn, I just have no
Speaker 2: maternal calling. But I have come to the conclusion that
Speaker 2: it is because I feel like and this isn't me
Speaker 2: being like, oh, I care you so much, but I
Speaker 2: genuinely do feel like I care like such a motherly
Speaker 2: role in a lot of people's lives already, and I
Speaker 2: have been for so long that I can't imagine having
Speaker 2: my own kids because I'm like, what then I have
Speaker 2: to abandon all my other children who were like grown adults.
Speaker 1: No, that's like it's like the same idea as like
Speaker 1: why I don't seek like a romantic partner's because I
Speaker 1: get all the fucking love I need from the people
Speaker 1: I have in my life. I don't need another fucking
Speaker 1: person to like what like be annoyed by and do
Speaker 1: s with, Like girl, that's boring. Like literally, I have
Speaker 1: my literal left hand, somebody, it's literally like actually both hands.
Speaker 1: I have to use both hands, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Somebody to like getting caddy arguments with every now and
Speaker 2: then and then have to act like that didn't happen.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, bruh. I don't need that.
Speaker 2: I don't need I was saying to somebody yesterday. I
Speaker 2: was like, I really don't know what any partner in
Speaker 2: my lifetime is going to think is gonna fucking happen.
Speaker 2: But I'm not living with someone other than Drew, like,
Speaker 2: and that's gonna be a really hard like line to cross,
Speaker 2: because why the fuck would I want to live with you? Like,
Speaker 2: are you actually kidding me? Like I get so much
Speaker 2: joy to living with Drew and Josh when whatever he's around,
Speaker 2: like that is like my ideal situation is like living
Speaker 2: with my friends. I'm not living with your funky, fucking
Speaker 2: weird ass.
Speaker 1: They hit the lottery and make eighty seven billion dollars
Speaker 1: so I can build a compound for all of us
Speaker 1: to all have our own houses, but they're like within
Speaker 1: like a mile of each other, or like within like
Speaker 1: three hundred yards of each other, so we can just
Speaker 1: like come over every day and key like this and
Speaker 1: walk through the like fields with like all the flowers
Speaker 1: and my sheep roaming around.
Speaker 3: That's what Charles Manson did.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but we're doing it with love, Okay, It's well, no,
Speaker 1: I want I want us to like kill people and
Speaker 1: have sex.
Speaker 2: Yes with just me everyone, bro, We've literally I like
Speaker 2: we've made this joke to each other. But I was like,
Speaker 2: I don't know what's gonna happen when we're old as
Speaker 2: fucking We're too lazy to go fuck somebody else's gonna
Speaker 2: have with our bund Like we're just gonna have to
Speaker 2: make it work.
Speaker 1: Like I don't know what's gonna happen. We'll figure it out.
Speaker 2: But yeah, that just I've been thinking a lot about
Speaker 2: like traditionalism and how fought removed. I feel like we
Speaker 2: are from it, and I feel like this generation in general,
Speaker 2: like there's been there's always been a shift in view
Speaker 2: of like family versus chosen family. But I feel like,
Speaker 2: oddly enough, all of our close friends are very close
Speaker 2: to their like birthed family and their chosen family. And
Speaker 2: I've just been thinking a lot about how like that
Speaker 2: is actually so intense of like a balance to be
Speaker 2: weighing for people, and like we just naturally do it.
Speaker 2: And humans have just been freaking me out because I'm like, Wow,
Speaker 2: this life is really just like filling your time with
Speaker 2: people you love.
Speaker 1: And what magic. It's magical. We're startups. We're meteorites combined
Speaker 1: with gases from the star, spinning on a ball. My
Speaker 1: family inside of a meat sack controlled by our subconscious.
Speaker 2: Also, I don't feel like I need kids because I'm
Speaker 2: already like mourning the like the growing into adulthood that
Speaker 2: my little siblings are experiencing, which is freaking me out.
Speaker 2: Like yeah, all I could think about is that my
Speaker 2: little sister is going to be seventeen next year, and
Speaker 2: that freaks me out. Like it's so beautiful because like
Speaker 2: she's grown into her own person and like she doesn't
Speaker 2: listen to the podcast so I can say this, and
Speaker 2: she didn't tell me your business, and I won't tell
Speaker 2: her business because she didn't fucking tell me it. But
Speaker 2: it was actually really sweet, like she I think like
Speaker 2: got her heart broken a little bit, and she called
Speaker 2: me and she facetimeed me, and she's like she's a
Speaker 2: very like interesting character. She reminds me a lot of
Speaker 2: me when I was younger, where like I wasn't very vulnerable,
Speaker 2: but obviously I wanted to keep people close until I
Speaker 2: got to that point. But it was really sweet. She
Speaker 2: like called me and she was like crying and she
Speaker 2: had her camera off on FaceTime and she was like
Speaker 2: where are you know. It's like, oh, I'm in a car,
Speaker 2: like headed to my blah blah, blah, and she was
Speaker 2: like okay, and then she was like, I have like
Speaker 2: a problem with like a boy or whatever. And I
Speaker 2: was like, do you want to talk about it? She's like, no,
Speaker 2: I really don't want to cry again. I just wanted
Speaker 2: to tell you. And I literally like started tearing up.
Speaker 2: I was like, it's okay, whatever, like tell me whenever
Speaker 2: you're ready. And then I just like started to try
Speaker 2: to talk to her about like stupid shit something get
Speaker 2: her mind off of it. But it freaks me out
Speaker 2: that like, but I guess in that sense, that's when
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh damn, I would like to have a
Speaker 2: kid because it is sweet and I do think I
Speaker 2: could be a good mother. I could be a good mother.
Speaker 1: I think the way I feel about my nephew right now,
Speaker 1: like where he was like wanted to be my best
Speaker 1: friend for like three years of his life from like
Speaker 1: eight to eleven or whatever, and now he's like hitting
Speaker 1: that age where he's like getting too cool and like
Speaker 1: doesn't want to hang out with me. That hurts more
Speaker 1: than anything in the world. And if my fucking kid
Speaker 1: did that to me, I'd kicket in the fucking mid
Speaker 1: It's like a fucking play don't fucking play with Literally
Speaker 1: that's since I have that rhetoric in my head, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I can't have a kid, like, I literally can't not
Speaker 1: right now.
Speaker 3: I want children because you're afraid of getting cool guy.
Speaker 2: But yeah, d I feel like it's inevitable because I
Speaker 2: had that with all my siblings, like of every eight,
Speaker 2: like there just came a point, especially because I by
Speaker 2: fall like I play. I felt like I played such
Speaker 2: a like parental role in all my siblings' lives. So
Speaker 2: even with my older siblings, there was like a three
Speaker 2: year span where they felt like they couldn't talk to
Speaker 2: me because I was such a like parental figure in
Speaker 2: terms of when they would speak to me. I would
Speaker 2: try to give them advice and try to help them
Speaker 2: and like help them traverse through certain issues. And I
Speaker 2: think that kind of bit me in the ass, where
Speaker 2: they felt a distance for me because I wasn't able
Speaker 2: to be a friend. I was so busy trying to
Speaker 2: like help parent them. And I feel like that's the
Speaker 2: thing with kids, is like they want to be your
Speaker 2: friend whatever, but then once it gets to the like
Speaker 2: authoritarian role that you have to play in those people's lives,
Speaker 2: they just naturally will turn away from it because they
Speaker 2: don't want that. They just want somebody to like be around.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's like the hardest part of parenthood
Speaker 2: is having to navigate that and like pick your like
Speaker 2: parenting style and like what works for you and your kid.
Speaker 2: But also I feel like a lot of people just
Speaker 2: get lucky and they get really close to their kids.
Speaker 2: Like my mom is like one of those people who
Speaker 2: she's been really good with being friends with her kids.
Speaker 2: Sometimes almost too good at being a friend, but like
Speaker 2: I feel.
Speaker 1: Like that works until we were eighteen to be friends.
Speaker 2: I'deel like there's a balancing act you have to play
Speaker 2: with it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was cool, we just had one of those.
Speaker 1: We exist inside of the context of falling out of
Speaker 1: the coconut tree or whatever the fuck you think.
Speaker 2: You just fell out of a coconut tree. You exist
Speaker 2: within the context of everything that has happened.
Speaker 1: And everything which you are, yeah, or whatever the fuck
Speaker 1: it is. Well, there's a fucking fake waterfall in China, y'all,
Speaker 1: Like there is an act and playing it like it's real.
Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck. No, That's what I was
Speaker 1: saying out The people are like losing their fucking minds
Speaker 1: over this waterfall, Like basically it's a real waterfall, but
Speaker 1: during the dry season they pump water out of a
Speaker 1: tube at the top of the waterfall and make it
Speaker 1: look like it. And in the people's defense, they didn't
Speaker 1: say anything about it. They come lely, we're just lying
Speaker 1: and acting like it was a real waterfall, sprang over
Speaker 1: the edge. So then, like everybody, when they found out
Speaker 1: that this waterfall and it's a gorgeous waterfall, then when
Speaker 1: they found out it was fake, they were like, bro,
Speaker 1: what the fuck We've been lied to. We've been tricked.
Speaker 1: And then all of the fucking like flat eartha, flat,
Speaker 1: I'm a flat eartha. Where in the comments like being like, see,
Speaker 1: the world is a stage and we're just playing.
Speaker 5: Officials have apologized after a video emerged that appears to
Speaker 5: show China's tallest waterfall being fed by a pipe in
Speaker 5: the rock. The oneenty twenty four foot tall Yuntai Mountain
Speaker 5: waterfall features formations that date back more than a billion years,
Speaker 5: drawing in millions of tourists, but it is seemingly fed
Speaker 5: by a pipe in the rock. What happened next was weirder.
Speaker 5: Officials made a bizarre social media post apologizing as the waterfall.
Speaker 5: I didn't expect to meet everyone this way. I made
Speaker 5: a small enhancement during the dry season only so I
Speaker 5: would look my best to meet my friends.
Speaker 2: I don't think that shit is that deep. But also
Speaker 2: like my special interests bodies of water, and I don't
Speaker 2: give a fuck where the body of water came from.
Speaker 2: I'm getting in that bit like I'm literally unless it's
Speaker 2: like a puddle.
Speaker 1: Body of tea.
Speaker 2: My special interest was cruise ships, and I know about
Speaker 2: every cruise crash cruise ships. What is that I'm going
Speaker 2: cruising later tonight.
Speaker 1: I have a stand up joke with that bit in there. Ship.
Speaker 1: Are you already cat got your tongue? We'll get him
Speaker 1: out of your mouth. That's unsanitary. Beat around the bush?
Speaker 1: They say, why the fuck am I seeing a guy
Speaker 1: a jerk off and blast rope around the bush? Beat
Speaker 1: around the bush? Uh, why are you punching my dick?
Speaker 1: When I'm on the airplane, Oh, this is more impressions.
Speaker 1: When I'm on the airplane, I always hear the pilot
Speaker 1: on the intercom saying, dude, this is your captain's speaking.
Speaker 1: Expect some turbulence in the next three minutes and his
Speaker 1: mom is walking down the aisle. I was on a
Speaker 1: cruise ship, not that type of cruise weirdohs.
Speaker 2: That?
Speaker 1: And the boat was rocking like crazy. It rocked the boat, Hey,
Speaker 1: rock the rock the boat. And I look out of
Speaker 1: the window and I see Kai's mama swimming next to
Speaker 1: the ocean or in the ocean next to the boat.
Speaker 1: The waves were huge, Bob Whish, you know how communie
Speaker 1: zoo sound effects like washing socks is like reverse gambling.
Speaker 1: Every time I put two in, I get one out.
Speaker 2: I feel like that could apply to just regular gambling.
Speaker 1: Some people look at me and think I'm gay. Well
Speaker 1: I say, yes, of course i am. I'm so happy
Speaker 1: and I love love.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Donald Trump is so orange. I get hungry when I
Speaker 1: see him, and I almost ate him because he looks
Speaker 1: like a cheeto. Oka Safari is crazy. How does the
Speaker 1: Internet and the animals co exist? I think they'd be
Speaker 1: attacking each other and eating the Internet cable. You know,
Speaker 1: the sharks that ate the Internet cable try to take
Speaker 1: us down. I think that was it. Straight mail listeners,
Speaker 1: I am with you. We are in this together. Oh wait,
Speaker 1: I'm like looking right here, like the cameras right there,
Speaker 1: straight mail listeners. I am with you, we are in
Speaker 1: this together. A lot of people like to comment like, oh,
Speaker 1: why are you listening to this podcast? It's like for
Speaker 1: the girls and the gays, like, no, we're here and
Speaker 1: we're doing this together. This one had let you know
Speaker 1: you scare me? Hm, well since it wrote a whole
Speaker 1: album about me and I didn't even realize it. I
Speaker 1: didn't even realize it. Bro hold on, look what's it called.
Speaker 1: It's controlling s O S. She wrote two albums about me.
Speaker 2: Those were all about you.
Speaker 1: Yes, this song Tuesday, Faday, Saturday, she was cheating on me? Saturday, Saturday, Sunday.
Speaker 1: What is the boys? Saturday, Honday, Monday, Monday?
Speaker 2: Hey, what are the Saturdays for?
Speaker 1: Saturdaysday? Monday? No?
Speaker 2: What are the saturdays for?
Speaker 1: Philday?
Speaker 2: Phil? What are Saturdays for? Sunday? Saturday, Monday?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: What else are they for?
Speaker 2: Saturday?
Speaker 5: Saturdays are for the Saturday?
Speaker 1: No, Monday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday Sunday.
Speaker 2: Like was he like on a fucking like kalannapin? Why
Speaker 2: was he like so da?
Speaker 1: He was probably drunk as fuck because they were at
Speaker 1: the bar Okay, I have a hypothetical for you and ya.
Speaker 1: Would you rather kill me or take two of Azol's
Speaker 1: legs from him?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: No, and you have to eat the legs.
Speaker 2: Oh I have to eat the legs. No, I'm not
Speaker 2: doing I'm killing myself.
Speaker 1: No, you have to eat kill me or as well?
Speaker 1: I love you legs, so you're killing me?
Speaker 2: Well, no, if I don't have to eat the legs,
Speaker 2: I'll take Azol's fucking legs. Oh, that's be so annoying.
Speaker 1: Which one is it?
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take Azol's legs? Like, like, why do you
Speaker 2: think of that?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think I saw like a handicapped
Speaker 1: cast a little shit on my bed. Oh, yeah, he's over, y'all.
Speaker 1: Azola's dead ass over.
Speaker 2: Like I literally came home from a day that was
Speaker 2: already like taxing whatever, boohoo, Karma river, and I go
Speaker 2: into my room and there's a fuck turred on my
Speaker 2: bed and now I'm terrified, and I haven't replaced my
Speaker 2: covers because I'm scared for shitting on it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sorry, And you know that's like really hard.
Speaker 1: My life is really well, I forget what we were watching,
Speaker 1: but they mentioned the idea that like or like when
Speaker 1: the first movie premiered on the silver screen, it was
Speaker 1: like it was like a recording of a train Median. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like a recording of a train, and the
Speaker 1: people in the audience literally ran out of the audience
Speaker 1: because they thought the train was gonna like hit them
Speaker 1: because they'd never seen I mean, it makes sense they'd
Speaker 1: never seen a moving picture before in their life, but
Speaker 1: just the idea of that was like fucking killing us.
Speaker 2: Like that is so embarrassing too, Like, imagine how those
Speaker 2: people fell after I'm.
Speaker 1: Gonna I'm gonna run at the camera and they're gonna
Speaker 1: jump out of the way.
Speaker 2: Are you gonna do that right now? You're probably gonna
Speaker 2: trip on fucking I looked and.
Speaker 1: Saw, I saw, I didn't trip.
Speaker 2: You tripped.
Speaker 1: I didn't trip.
Speaker 2: You attacked me and then tripped.
Speaker 1: Well you deserved it.
Speaker 2: I was just trying to be.
Speaker 1: Nice and I don't give a fuck because it hurt me.
Speaker 2: I love chapel Rone.
Speaker 1: Don't fucking look at me cause I won't.
Speaker 3: I won't look at you.
Speaker 1: Chapel Rone more like chapless or apples chap aciles chaps
Speaker 1: inside of a chapel.
Speaker 3: In Rome.
Speaker 1: That's a good one.
Speaker 3: That was really good.
Speaker 1: Can I get the chapel Roneberger hold the statue of
Speaker 1: Liberty Sauce extra joint.
Speaker 2: Burger h O T t O g O h O
Speaker 2: T t O t O O g oh fuck like bitch,
Speaker 2: she literally does it with her arms. How do you
Speaker 2: not know?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just don't know. Well, okay, I
Speaker 1: drink two days in a row.
Speaker 3: Are you serious?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: You probably, bitch.
Speaker 2: When he said is that, he means he had a
Speaker 2: sip of a fucking whiskey sour and was like, whoa,
Speaker 2: I was crazy, and then immediately got hired and went
Speaker 2: up to the room. And then the next day, I
Speaker 2: will say he chugged a drink by the pool and
Speaker 2: then complained about it for an hour. I was like,
Speaker 2: I hate that. I don't know why I did that.
Speaker 2: I hate that. I hate it.
Speaker 1: I drink for two days in a row. That's technically
Speaker 1: I went crazy. I went crazy. I lost my fucking mind.
Speaker 1: And Loki was three nights in a row because I
Speaker 1: did have a sip of your whiskey sour the night before.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 1: I was black out, guys. It's a slippery slope.
Speaker 3: Y'all.
Speaker 1: All I can think about is wanting to drink.
Speaker 3: I can't do it anymore. I had three drinks this weekend,
Speaker 3: and then I woke up the next morning and I
Speaker 3: wanted to blow my brains out.
Speaker 2: Back to Yeah, I really don't like alcohol. That's it.
Speaker 2: I don't have much else to say.
Speaker 1: I love alcohol. I think alcohol is a good thing
Speaker 1: for everybody, everybody involved.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't remember if I've told this story before,
Speaker 2: but I was thinking about how last year when me
Speaker 2: and a and We're in Portugal for our trip. I
Speaker 2: was really high and we were saying at this like
Speaker 2: this home that had like a little ledge and pillars
Speaker 2: inside of it. And then she was like, she was like,
Speaker 2: for some reason, this home gives me like Sharon Tate vibes.
Speaker 1: And I was like what.
Speaker 2: And I didn't know how Sharon Tate died, and she
Speaker 2: told me, and I have never been so scared in
Speaker 2: my whole fucking life, Like I was actually petrified. I
Speaker 2: was so scared. Wait, something else scared me the other night.
Speaker 2: Oh fuck, I was talking about something. Oh no, actually no,
Speaker 2: that wasn't the other night. I was really scared recently
Speaker 2: when I was high because I was convinced I was
Speaker 2: going to go to hell.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah you are. I didn't do any Let's talk
Speaker 1: about what you do in front of the church.
Speaker 2: That's what was freaking me out. But we don't need
Speaker 2: to get into details. But I actually was really like.
Speaker 2: One of my friends was like, oh, do you believe
Speaker 2: in heaven and Hell? And I was like no. And
Speaker 2: then she was like, but if hell is real, that's
Speaker 2: an eternity. Do you understand how long that is? And
Speaker 2: that thought carried into me being really high that night,
Speaker 2: and I was like.
Speaker 1: Religion is so fucking scary, bro, Like, bitch, you're scaring
Speaker 1: it's scary. You're scaring me. You're scaring me. That's why
Speaker 1: I started Druth the Truth, and I am the leader.
Speaker 2: The idea of some of the things that people think
Speaker 2: will get you sent to hell though, is crazy, bitch.
Speaker 2: I'm just having on the.
Speaker 1: Book Adam and Steve more like Florence in the Machine.
Speaker 2: Floren's in the Machine, like, because I like Florence.
Speaker 1: No, you're a vibrator.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, my back hurts so bad, but I like
Speaker 2: refuse to go to a chiropractor because I do not
Speaker 2: believe in chiropractors. Like I think that was their biggest
Speaker 2: dam of all. They're fine, they just beat you the
Speaker 2: fuck up and not supposed to help.
Speaker 1: Like there's actually that occurred from chiropractors.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm looking that up.
Speaker 1: I need to, Like it's gotta be in the thousands.
Speaker 3: Yeah, when they crack people's necks, it looks it looks
Speaker 3: you could easily.
Speaker 1: Fuck that up.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, And like when I was there, like I was
Speaker 1: getting backshots like crazy, like they kept breaking my back
Speaker 1: and like bnding me over and shit, it was like crazy.
Speaker 3: Dude, I'm not a chiropractor. I'm not a license.
Speaker 2: Twenty six fatalities were published in the medical literature, and
Speaker 2: many more might have remained unpublished since I don't know,
Speaker 2: because if that's in a year, twenty five deaths per
Speaker 2: seventy five years would mean that roughly thirty three deaths
Speaker 2: occur each year.
Speaker 1: Oh my fucking god, that's a lot.
Speaker 2: Like damn, bitch, and I would be the bitch to
Speaker 2: fucking die.
Speaker 1: No, it's not worth it, for real. I went to
Speaker 1: one for like a year, and all they did was
Speaker 1: just put me through fucking radiation and take like a
Speaker 1: fucking X ray scan in my body and just tell me, yep,
Speaker 1: everything looks good, but we have to do this, this
Speaker 1: and this, and they would just do that like every
Speaker 1: two months, and it was just completely useless because my
Speaker 1: back still hurts and now I'm out of a lot
Speaker 1: of money. So like it was it was your magnets.
Speaker 3: Because I put your ankles behind your ears the other day.
Speaker 1: Well fixed me that, like gave me relief. On Mysiatica.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that scene in Challengers at the very beginning, do
Speaker 3: you remember that?
Speaker 2: No, we only saw it once because you saw it
Speaker 2: eight times, so you know every scene, Like I could
Speaker 2: probably write out like the full script of Challengers by
Speaker 2: like memory, including the detailed of like so and so
Speaker 2: walked into the room interior day.
Speaker 3: I honestly, it is getting to that point. I just
Speaker 3: there's a scene where he gets stretched out at the beginning,
Speaker 3: he gets all stretched out, Oh I.
Speaker 1: Think I do. Oh yeah, and his bullege was out
Speaker 1: and yeah yeah yeah yeah, mm hmm. Chicken in the media.
Speaker 2: Chicken and media. That's what it's like, he said, chicken the.
Speaker 1: Media again, my media is controlled by Sissa. She wrote
Speaker 1: it about me. So uh and then what's that one
Speaker 1: Taylor Swiss song Drew looks at me. I write a
Speaker 1: note so he won't see.
Speaker 2: I actually don't know.
Speaker 1: Fuck drew me fakes mess.
Speaker 2: He will so he will see.
Speaker 1: Okay, here drops on my guitar because that's the other
Speaker 1: song I was written about me. And then that fucking
Speaker 1: Sabrina Carpenter. Wait was that one about me?
Speaker 2: No, you're thinking of Billie Eilish, Yeah is it?
Speaker 1: I'm so drew Yes, I forget.
Speaker 2: And then.
Speaker 1: The whole Drake and Kanye joint concert experience.
Speaker 2: That's your media of the week, Like what are you saying?
Speaker 2: How are you trying to how is he trying to
Speaker 2: make the week about him?
Speaker 1: Because that was that was all about me? They did
Speaker 1: that for me.
Speaker 3: Oh I totally forgot about that.
Speaker 1: They did it to battle out like a who want me?
Speaker 1: Who want me? Who want me? Well, my media of the.
Speaker 2: Week is please Please Please Sabrina Carpenter.
Speaker 1: And then that's said Taylor Swift song right bruh.
Speaker 2: He is asked that Taylor's of like eight times on
Speaker 2: ironically Sympathy is a knife and everything is romantic and
Speaker 2: girls so confusing Off the Charlie.
Speaker 1: X X album.
Speaker 3: Did you hear the two new ones that just dropped? There.
Speaker 3: I think they're some of the best songs.
Speaker 2: Damn.
Speaker 3: I think it's uh yeah, they're both. Yeah, they're both
Speaker 3: about you.
Speaker 2: Actually, I'm okay good and now he'll listen.
Speaker 3: They're about a mean girl. No, it's guess. And then
Speaker 3: the one that she was teasy on TikTok spring Breakers.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, sick, yeah No. That album's rollout
Speaker 1: was so fucking sick, Like I haven't seen a good
Speaker 1: album rollout in like a couple of years. And that
Speaker 1: one eight down like that fucking wall, like her pulling
Speaker 1: down the fucking curtain at the concert what is it
Speaker 1: lo Lapolooza or whatever there Salona.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it was all for some reason. That
Speaker 2: clip cracked me up because she was standing at the
Speaker 2: wall for so long. But I love her so much,
Speaker 2: but it was cracking me up, like you're just standing
Speaker 2: and like waiting for the right moment. But yeah, the
Speaker 2: rollout is really good. The live stream of the wall
Speaker 2: has been really good. That album is just really good. Also,
Speaker 2: I'm bolding, I'm literally bold.
Speaker 1: I noticed that, and you know I'm bolding you see that.
Speaker 1: I do see that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Fuck, isn't it couldn't that just be from like ponytail. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you're saying she's she has male powdered.
Speaker 5: Girl.
Speaker 1: No, you know, you're just looking at it too much.
Speaker 2: Look at that though I could see it on the camera.
Speaker 2: Look how bad it looks on camera?
Speaker 1: Oh shit, it actually does look crazy on camera. Wait
Speaker 1: look at my hair? Oh my god, do you see
Speaker 1: that over there?
Speaker 2: I think I'm gonna get a breast for use.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that is your vibe for the summer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want small boobs. I'm tired.
Speaker 1: Well that's fucking boring and I'm not going to touch
Speaker 1: you with a ten foot pole. After you get your bobs.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to have my small boobs out and
Speaker 2: not get arrested for it.
Speaker 3: We can recover together. Because I'm getting bones stretching, I'm
Speaker 3: trying to hit six three three six three the perfect time.
Speaker 1: I was also getting that surgery.
Speaker 3: Are you actually yeah, where are you getting?
Speaker 2: That's so embarrassing?
Speaker 1: Turkey.
Speaker 3: I'm going to Turkey also.
Speaker 1: But I'm getting like seven inches added on because I'm like, oh, I.
Speaker 3: Could cut your hell is short and I'm not as short.
Speaker 1: So no, because I want to be an India.
Speaker 2: So we literally said in an episode, like so long ago,
Speaker 2: you're five foot three, I.
Speaker 1: Forget about it.
Speaker 3: I'm five four.
Speaker 1: I'm five four, five to four with the inserts.
Speaker 3: We gave you five five if I posture max.
Speaker 1: And but it's normally five to two without shoe without shoe.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: I barely lit hath one O tricks point never answers me.
Speaker 1: Arthur Russell. Oh bitch, I've been watching H two O
Speaker 1: by oh fuck, just add water the Mermaid TV show.
Speaker 1: I watched four episodes last night, fucking horrible, but like
Speaker 1: it was unlocking and doing things to my brain that
Speaker 1: I fully wasn't prepared for. And now I want to
Speaker 1: be a Mermaid, and I want a Mermaid Tale, and
Speaker 1: I want to be able to freeze, boil and move
Speaker 1: water with my mind.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you should be able to do that.
Speaker 1: They're basically water benders from Avatar.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I love Arthur Russell trying to find the the
Speaker 2: song that he has a lyric that like I feel
Speaker 2: like Charlie sampled, but I can't remember. Fuck whatever. All right,
Speaker 2: thank you guys for watching a bye h b uh
Speaker 2: bu uh b b b bah bah