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Speaker 1: Oh John, Oh Sam, I love you so much.

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Speaker 2: I love you almost as much as the great stories

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Speaker 2: that are about to come up.

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Speaker 3: And you know what, I love equally as much as

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Speaker 3: the two minutes of sponsor is coming up, because they

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Speaker 3: support the show and make sure that we will have

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Speaker 3: our happily Ever after my.

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Speaker 2: Wife treats me like garbage while I raise our daughter alone.

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Speaker 4: Well, you know what people do with garbage.

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Speaker 1: What they take it out.

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Speaker 2: That's true. Trigger warning some physical emotional coming up. If

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Speaker 2: you want to skip that, go to the next one.

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Speaker 2: Let's dive in there we go. Okay, so things have

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Speaker 2: been steadily going south for a while now. So all

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Speaker 2: condensed as much as I can on mobile, so pardon

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Speaker 2: any errors of formatting issues. We had our daughter last

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Speaker 2: year while I was in the military. She was living

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Speaker 2: in another state due to her National Guard duties. Because

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Speaker 2: of that, I only saw my newborn daughter on the weekends.

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Speaker 3: All that's not a lot of time.

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Speaker 2: But this comes from owl feet And if you want

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Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

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Speaker 2: Okay storytime Subrendet's My wife had the full responsibility to

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Speaker 2: care for the baby, but her other kids from a

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Speaker 2: previous relationship. We're a big help, and some days took

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Speaker 2: care of the baby one hundred percent day. That's what

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Speaker 2: I call out sourcing. When I came up on the weekends,

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Speaker 2: of course I cared for her one hundred percent. I

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Speaker 2: did everything I could to help my wife rest. Fast

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Speaker 2: forward two and a half months. I got out of

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Speaker 2: the military, moved to her state, and then I basically

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Speaker 2: assumed full care of our daughter. She said that once

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Speaker 2: I felt how two and a half months of being

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Speaker 2: a single parent was, we could do a fifty to

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Speaker 2: fifty or as close as we could get. That time

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Speaker 2: never came. My daughter is now almost a year old.

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Speaker 2: I don't remember the last time she made a bottle

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Speaker 2: or change a diaper. Every time I bring it up,

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Speaker 2: she refuses to even watch her, even if I just

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Speaker 2: wanted a shower.

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Speaker 3: That's messed up. I hate that. I hate when we

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Speaker 3: have stories where the parent, like one parent is not

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Speaker 3: even letting the other parent do basic needs.

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Speaker 2: Now, she did have a month where she took care

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Speaker 2: of her while I had a job, but she mostly

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Speaker 2: used her kids until I got off. Now I was

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Speaker 2: working odd hours two to four am and one to

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Speaker 2: two pm. She made me quit, so she could get

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Speaker 2: a job. Now I'm back home being a dad to

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Speaker 2: three kids. I love my step kids like my own,

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Speaker 2: but still three kids are a handful. I haven't had

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Speaker 2: a night off in forever. While she goes out at

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Speaker 2: least once a week with her friends to the club,

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Speaker 2: and she's been out to lunch quote unquote with a

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Speaker 2: single male friend of hers a couple of times that

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Speaker 2: I know of. Multiple times she comes home way later

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Speaker 2: than she said, without even a call or a quick text,

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Speaker 2: and a few times she's almost missed work because of

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Speaker 2: her hangouts. She works on nights. If I ask to

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Speaker 2: go out, I get rid of fueleds man. Her excuse

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Speaker 2: is that she doesn't trust the other women out there,

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Speaker 2: and it's different with her because she mainly goes to

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Speaker 2: Spanish clubs. Since she can't speak Spanish, she can't be

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Speaker 2: tempted to cheat. This is horse crap, since she had

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Speaker 2: a Mexican boyfriend a couple of years ago and they

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Speaker 2: were together for a while. Not only is she controlling

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Speaker 2: in that regard, using me to watch the kids while

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Speaker 2: she goes and has fun, she forbids me from drinking

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Speaker 2: booze going out by myself. I need her permission, spending

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Speaker 2: any money on myself when all my checks went to her,

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Speaker 2: not necessarily to the family, and even having friends. I

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Speaker 2: had a friend at work that I was texting about

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Speaker 2: random crap, and she flipped out and forbade me from

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Speaker 2: texting him. My goodness, I am stressed out beyond all relief.

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Speaker 2: I have no release. I can't do the things I

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Speaker 2: used to enjoy playing guitar, for example, it gives her

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Speaker 2: a headache. Oh man, I am not happy. She is

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Speaker 2: harmful physically, verbally and emotionally. I am not a saint.

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Speaker 2: I call her names when we argue, but I've never

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Speaker 2: hit her. I was raised better than that. She has

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Speaker 2: no calms about getting physical, though she constantly tells me

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Speaker 2: I'm a crappy husband, but I don't see how I

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Speaker 2: can be better. I rub her feet when she asks

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Speaker 2: more like demands, usually daily. I stop what I'm doing

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Speaker 2: to make her food or run out to get her

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Speaker 2: what she wants. She calls me to come up and

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Speaker 2: change the movie on the TV that's seven feet away

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Speaker 2: from her because she doesn't want to get up.

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Speaker 1: You have to leave, dude.

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Speaker 2: Lee is just yeah, and also I'm sorry, but remotes

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Speaker 2: remotes remotes exists remotes.

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Speaker 3: And also actually have to leave her because this is

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Speaker 3: just terrible situation. And also she's got it's massively and

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Speaker 3: also I mean she's not helping in any way. No,

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Speaker 3: I mean, what even is there here for you to

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Speaker 3: stay for?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there's nothing. She is completely controlling. Yeah, I watched

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Speaker 2: the kids and I'm monitored to the noise so she

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Speaker 2: can sleep. I wash the clothes and make sure she

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Speaker 2: wakes up on time for work when she goes out.

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Speaker 2: I hardly even mentioned the fact that I would like

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Speaker 2: a break. Heck, even this morning, my daughter was fussing

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Speaker 2: because of her teeth and wouldn't stop for anything. I tried.

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Speaker 2: My wife got annoyed and came down. I'm allergic to

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Speaker 2: this woman, demanding to know what I was doing to her.

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Speaker 2: Once I explained why she was crying, I made the

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Speaker 2: mistake of saying, you take care of her, then I

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Speaker 2: could use a break. Her response, excuse me, A full

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Speaker 2: night's sleep should be enough of a break, dude, Come on.

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Speaker 3: A full night's She's like, you get to sleep, You

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Speaker 3: get to sleep.

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Speaker 2: Who needs you know when you shower, when you use

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Speaker 2: the bathroom, and you need me to hold the baby. No, no,

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Speaker 2: you've slept.

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Speaker 3: Is she amazon?

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Speaker 5: Like?

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Speaker 3: What are these work hours?

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Speaker 2: You know what? He needs to learn how to use

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Speaker 2: the bathroom and shower on the job when he's sleeping.

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Speaker 2: He needs to learn to train himself how to sleep walk.

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Speaker 2: So terrible, Oh my god. The only breaks I get

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Speaker 2: are the occasional weekend when my daughter goes to her

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Speaker 2: faux grandma's house. I guess maybe if a grandma figure

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Speaker 2: and the kids go with their grandma or to their

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Speaker 2: dads on those weekends, she goes out and I have

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Speaker 2: to stay home alone. I've been thinking about a divorce

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Speaker 2: since I don't see how this relationship can be salvaged.

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Speaker 2: She's diagnosed with being bipolar, having depression. Her personality screams

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Speaker 2: self absorbed. The old saying love is blind can't be

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Speaker 2: more true. The only thing stopping me is my daughter.

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Speaker 2: My wife has told me that if I try to

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Speaker 2: take her, she will label me as Wow, we're gonna

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Speaker 2: dive in more in a second. But yeah, just real

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Speaker 2: quick on that, I would start recording everything sad.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I get as much like go reach out to

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Speaker 3: your friends, find out, like find text messages wherever she

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Speaker 3: said things verbally, record you know, get as many receipts

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Speaker 3: as you can and then go get a lawyer.

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Speaker 2: She told me that she you will have her kids.

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Speaker 2: Our kids say whatever she tells them, and I would

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Speaker 2: never see my daughter again in good luck proving she

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Speaker 2: is an unfit mother.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, record, start recording. I mean like, there's not many situations,

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Speaker 3: Like there's some situations that we've read where people record,

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Speaker 3: and you're like, I don't know if we should do that.

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Speaker 3: This is a case where you should record.

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Speaker 2: It's beyond that point in safety. Yeah. Once it's a

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Speaker 2: matter of safety, the whole scenario is completely change.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely.

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Speaker 2: I have to try to compile evidence before I get

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Speaker 2: out with my daughter. Am I just being selfish? Can

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Speaker 2: this marriage be saved? Feel free to ask questions. I

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Speaker 2: will try to provide any answers I can And wouldn't

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Speaker 2: you know? We have an update we have. This marriage

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Speaker 2: cannot be saved, This marriage cannot be.

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Speaker 3: Why because you should h save yourself.

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Speaker 2: But ladies and gentlemen, we have the update where hopefully

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Speaker 2: wop he's getting out and about to live his best life.

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Speaker 2: So update. Not sure if anyone remembers my post or not,

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Speaker 2: I sure do from five seconds ago but I feel

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Speaker 2: I owe it to everyone who responded. So here's my update.

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Speaker 2: I am on my way to my parents with my daughter.

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Speaker 2: This is basically four weeks of a breather between us.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what will happen. I'm scared, physically sick,

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Speaker 2: and close to tears. However, I know this is what

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Speaker 2: needs to be done. Everyone I talked to said I

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Speaker 2: needed to at least go visit my parents. I have

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Speaker 2: discussed my wife's behavior and the consensus is that she

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Speaker 2: is a controlling aminipulative. The fact that I was paralyzed

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Speaker 2: by fear of her and physically sick shows how broken

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Speaker 2: I am and how emasculated. She made me the physical stop,

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Speaker 2: but the verbal only was increased. She would yell over

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Speaker 2: the smallest things, scream names at me in front of

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Speaker 2: the kids. The other day, I went to dinner and

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Speaker 2: forgot halapenos on her sandwich. She belittled me until I

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Speaker 2: went to go get her some.

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Speaker 3: I go get your own alpanias.

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Speaker 2: You see these, You see this, it's called hands.

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Speaker 3: In her mouth, these these legs, go walk over there

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Speaker 3: and get your own alpanions.

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Speaker 2: Use them. At that point she called me stupid, got

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Speaker 2: mad at me for going to get them. As I

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Speaker 2: shut the door of resounding, I effing hate you, followed

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Speaker 2: me after I got back. About five minutes later, she

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Speaker 2: refused to eat a sandwich and let it go to waste. Anyways,

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Speaker 2: I'm on my way and hopefully I can find my

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Speaker 2: masculinity in these four weeks. And we have update number two.

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Speaker 2: I think we've arrived at the parents place. Let's see

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Speaker 2: what happens. Hey, everyone, it's been a month or so

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Speaker 2: since the last update. Had to make a new account

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Speaker 2: since my old one got compromised. Okay, so a lot

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Speaker 2: of crap has happened. First and foremost, I feel that

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Speaker 2: the visit with my parents was extremely healing for both

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Speaker 2: my daughter and me.

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Speaker 3: Yes, this is why we need support systems. Yes, people

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Speaker 3: who love you and want to protect you and want

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Speaker 3: to help you.

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Speaker 2: Because imagine if OPI didn't have us.

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Speaker 3: Yeah back, and a lot of people don't have those

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Speaker 3: support systems, and that's why they think that this type

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Speaker 3: of treatment is okay and they stay in it.

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Speaker 2: It's like nope, yes, absolutely so she loves my mom

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Speaker 2: to She progressed incredibly fast after we got to my parents.

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Speaker 2: She went there on the bottle crawling and had major

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Speaker 2: separation anxiety with me. She is now off the bottle,

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Speaker 2: using sippy cups, eating real Foo food, walking, and is

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Speaker 2: totally comfortable if I leave the room, though sometimes she

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Speaker 2: tries to follow me. That's cute and yes. A couple

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Speaker 2: of days after we got there, I received a letter

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Speaker 2: in the mail from a lawyer soliciting his services, referencing

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Speaker 2: a case number and telling me divorce is hard, but

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Speaker 2: I don't have to do it alone. Yep. The very

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Speaker 2: next day after I left, she filed for divorce, and

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Speaker 2: I found out days before I got served the papers day,

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Speaker 2: but she.

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Speaker 3: Filed for divorce.

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Speaker 2: She filed for divorce, So I don't understand the logic,

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Speaker 2: but this is actually I feel like great. The fact

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Speaker 2: it was done so fast means she had this planned

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Speaker 2: and waiting. So my vacation turned into a game of catchup,

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Speaker 2: finding a lawyer, figuring out what to do, and basically

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Speaker 2: being stressed out. Being away from that toxic environment, away

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Speaker 2: from the ridicule, I saw how bad it really was.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't just me and the kids, but other people

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Speaker 2: in my wife's life as well. I was basically a prisoner,

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Speaker 2: but I loved her still even after all she did

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Speaker 2: and said, A part of me still does and probably

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Speaker 2: always will. Is honestly sounds like Stockholm syndrome. Now that

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Speaker 2: I'm away, hopefully the damage can be healed.

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Speaker 3: It will be. It just takes time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it takes time and life. Yeah. Oh, man, OPI

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Speaker 2: you should. I would highly recommend getting a therapist. Elpie says,

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Speaker 2: I found out from some sources that she has been

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Speaker 2: demonizing me to everyone here. I almost read demonetizing this, demonetize.

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Speaker 4: Getting any money from this post good.

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Speaker 2: She's been bad mouthing me and trying to get my

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Speaker 2: step kids to hate me. Apparently my stepdaughter, six female,

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Speaker 2: has been having nightmare since I left. She's always asking

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Speaker 2: Weenelby back and voiced her concerns that her sister won't

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Speaker 2: remember her. Oh, that is so sad. When asked why

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Speaker 2: she thought that, she said, that's what my wife told them.

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Speaker 2: She's six years old. That is not the right thing

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Speaker 2: to tell her. It broke my heart to hear how

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Speaker 2: she had been treated, how she has to listen to

245
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Speaker 2: her mom yell about me. What's fed up is that

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Speaker 2: I was coming back on the seventh of April. My

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Speaker 2: wife knew. I emailed her my flight information. I pushed

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Speaker 2: my return date back about a week to get there

249
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Speaker 2: right before the court date. After I found out she

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Speaker 2: had filed for divorce, she removed me from our joint

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Speaker 2: bank account. Don't know how she did that, but when

252
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Speaker 2: I log in, it says I have no account linked

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Speaker 2: to my profile and sold one of our cars.

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Speaker 3: I mean, just take stock of all of that and say,

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Speaker 3: you know, when you get to the court hearing, you

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Speaker 3: say she removed me from the bank account that is

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Speaker 3: that both of us have been putting money in, and

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Speaker 3: show that you've been putting money in or that you

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Speaker 3: talked about it mm hmm, and then say like we

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Speaker 3: had this car that we both bought. You know that

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Speaker 3: maybe both of our names were on she sold that.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it all helps like tell the true story of

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Speaker 2: what she's putting you through. So you know, a terrible

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Speaker 2: thing to happen, but the silver lining of using that

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Speaker 2: to get the best divorce for you possible, get as

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Speaker 2: much custody and everything for you. I have no family

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Speaker 2: in Indiana, few friends that are all my wife's friends

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Speaker 2: or family, no money, no transportation, and no place to stay.

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Speaker 2: She did all of that after she filed for divorce.

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Speaker 2: She seems to think I have no rights and she

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Speaker 2: will get everything while I get fed, make sways the Sunday.

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Speaker 2: Don't know what will come of that. I kept in

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Speaker 2: contact with her only over email, so I have a

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Speaker 2: record of our conversations. There we go. Yeah, email smart,

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Speaker 2: that's a good way to keep track. Every few days

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Speaker 2: she would ask me how's the baby. She never responded

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Speaker 2: to what I said. She never asked to talk to

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Speaker 2: her or see pictures, and didn't even wish her a

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Speaker 2: happy first birthday. I would have done all of that

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Speaker 2: for her if she had asked. Other people asked, and

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Speaker 2: I gave it to them right away. If y'all remember

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Speaker 2: from my first post, I was a staying home dad.

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Speaker 2: I took care of the house and the kids. She slept, partied,

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Speaker 2: and worked. Apparently the entire spring break. She pawned off

285
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Speaker 2: my step kids to their grandma and never once even

286
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Speaker 2: called to talk to them.

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Speaker 3: What she just seems like a pretty neglectful parent.

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Speaker 2: Yeah all round.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I don't think we've seen any sign Yeah.

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Speaker 2: No redeeming qualities. Also get grainy on the stands absolute.

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Speaker 3: I was about to say, yeah, like this is all evidence,

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Speaker 3: This is all evidence you could use.

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Speaker 2: But back to the story. But that's the grandma's I

294
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Speaker 2: and my wife thinks a eight and six year old

295
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Speaker 2: can be left alone all night bikes. The grandma had

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Speaker 2: been doing all the cleaning and caring for the kids

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Speaker 2: as soon as she got off work, basically doing what

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Speaker 2: I did while my wife slept. She stopped cleaning and

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Speaker 2: coming over early after she went over one day a

300
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Speaker 2: week ago and found a man there whoa yep, not

301
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Speaker 2: even a month into my vacation, and she had a boyfriend.

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Speaker 4: Well, she probably had the boyfriend beforehand.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but he only speaks Ben.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it doesn't beg anglish. Okay, so it's not

305
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Speaker 2: cheating exactly if she hooks up with him, as long

306
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Speaker 2: as he cheating, As long as he only speaks in Spanish,

307
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Speaker 2: it's not cheating. Fine, that's how it works. She brought

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Speaker 2: a man into our house and is effing him in

309
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Speaker 2: our bed. The pain I feel, the worthlessness I feel.

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Speaker 2: It kills me. It really does. I know she is

311
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Speaker 2: harmful and she never really loved me. I suspected she

312
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Speaker 2: was cheating on me, but to have proof and for

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Speaker 2: a flaunt it, it really does hurt. Now, both Grandma

314
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Speaker 2: and faux Grandma a family friend are really I lived

315
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Speaker 2: with my wife and what she was doing. Granny's on

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Speaker 2: the stand, Ye, let's run it. Let's run it, especially

317
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Speaker 2: since it's in front of the step kids. I hate

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Speaker 2: that as well. I mean, what example does that set

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Speaker 2: for the kids? Cheating is okay? My stepdaughter is six,

320
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Speaker 2: She is seeing this and will think it's normal when

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Speaker 2: she grows up. For f six, the grandma has told

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Speaker 2: me that after all this is said and done and

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Speaker 2: my wife calms down, she will realize what she had

324
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Speaker 2: and what she gave up, since just over a year ago,

325
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Speaker 2: I was the best thing to happen to my wife.

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Speaker 2: Her words. Grandma said, not to be surprised if she

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Speaker 2: calls up trying to get me to watch the kids.

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Speaker 2: All my wife's and my friends who know me and

329
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Speaker 2: my part of the story are secretly rooting for me.

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Speaker 2: Part of the my wife gives them is threatening to

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Speaker 2: keep the kids from seeing them, saying that they are

332
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,240
Speaker 2: not allowed to help me at all. The friends all

333
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,480
Speaker 2: say I am the best man she ever had, and

334
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,440
Speaker 2: in a roundabout way, insinuated I was too good for her.

335
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Speaker 2: I see that now. I realize now it wasn't my

336
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,040
Speaker 2: fault for the fights, the arguments or the abuse. Hold on,

337
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,920
Speaker 2: just quick, it's very proud of got out of the

338
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,320
Speaker 2: vortex and you're seeing I couldn't have done anything to

339
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Speaker 2: prevent this, aside from me standing up for myself exactly. Yeah,

340
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,840
Speaker 2: one hundred percent. I allowed this to happen by thinking

341
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Speaker 2: if I changed, she would love me like she used to.

342
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Speaker 2: I see that it was all an act now. But

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Speaker 2: ladies and gentlemen, we have the third and I think

344
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Speaker 2: final updates.

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Speaker 3: Let's get into it.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Sorry I didn't post the first part. Yesterday was busy,

347
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Speaker 2: A lot of crap went down. If you're still reading,

348
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,880
Speaker 2: thank you. I know it's a long one and temporary

349
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:30,880
Speaker 2: custody decision. Yesterday started rough. I had been hearing about

350
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Speaker 2: how my wife was planning to come at me. Pew

351
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:37,160
Speaker 2: Pew's hot blasted me as a deadbeat dad and not

352
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Speaker 2: fit to care for her daughter. My wife was convinced

353
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Speaker 2: that I wasn't going to be there since she had

354
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Speaker 2: said that I could call into court for my appearance,

355
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Speaker 2: she thought she would get the judge to order me

356
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Speaker 2: back with my daughter. She also was convinced and told

357
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Speaker 2: everyone that I was stupid to hire a lawyer.

358
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Speaker 3: Too stupid.

359
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,440
Speaker 2: Oh that I was too stupid to hire a lawyer.

360
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:56,640
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have hired a lawyer.

361
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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, guys and girls, I came back to Indiana

362
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Speaker 2: with my daughter Let's go. My mom flew out with

363
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:07,240
Speaker 2: me to help. My dad took out a loan against

364
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,920
Speaker 2: his retirement to pay for my lawyer, and he also

365
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,160
Speaker 2: set up a crowdfunding page to help with the leak fees.

366
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,560
Speaker 2: Let's go. It was for family and friends. I'm not

367
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,480
Speaker 2: going to plug it, but I'm thankful for all the

368
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,360
Speaker 2: people who donated. I had never even met some of them.

369
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Speaker 2: The morning of the hearing, on the way to the courthouse,

370
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:25,480
Speaker 2: I spent vomiting up stomach acid and bile for five minutes. Ooh,

371
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,200
Speaker 2: I haven't eaten in two days. By then, I cleaned

372
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Speaker 2: up and we went to the courthouse. As we arrived

373
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Speaker 2: on the second floor, I saw her, my wife. I

374
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,680
Speaker 2: was holding my daughter. I walked straight up to her

375
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,640
Speaker 2: and said, hey, wife's name, here's your mommy baby girl.

376
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,360
Speaker 2: My wife looked at me with the most perfect expression

377
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:45,080
Speaker 2: on her face, total deer in headlights look. She didn't

378
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,200
Speaker 2: say hi to her daughter, who she hadn't seen in

379
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,360
Speaker 2: four weeks, by the way, She returned to what she

380
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:52,640
Speaker 2: was doing, finishing writing her lawyer at check before taking

381
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,680
Speaker 2: her daughter. She held her for about four to five

382
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,440
Speaker 2: minutes before putting her on the ground. My daughter looked

383
00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:00,200
Speaker 2: at her, waiting for more interaction before coming back to

384
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,800
Speaker 2: My wife and her lawyer left to discuss their plan

385
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,840
Speaker 2: that I assume centered around me not being there. A

386
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,280
Speaker 2: few minutes later, my lawyer came in and walked right

387
00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:10,199
Speaker 2: up to them and asked if they were ready to

388
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:14,400
Speaker 2: review my counterpetition. I will never forget their reaction. They

389
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:19,320
Speaker 2: both said, hit it, Sophia, cool, That's what they said.

390
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,840
Speaker 2: He responded that he was my lawyer and we were

391
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:26,399
Speaker 2: ready if they were. My wife apparently assured her lawyer

392
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:29,040
Speaker 2: that I wouldn't get a lawyer myself. He flashed me

393
00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,879
Speaker 2: a big wink with a crap eating grin. He enjoyed

394
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,720
Speaker 2: that ambush just as much as I did. While the

395
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:37,159
Speaker 2: lawyers talked, I could see how angry my wife was.

396
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,240
Speaker 2: I could almost hear her teeth grinding. After they talked,

397
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:43,000
Speaker 2: they brought us to separate rooms. My lawyer told me

398
00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:45,160
Speaker 2: that they would try to settle since we got one

399
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,160
Speaker 2: over them. They didn't prepare for me being there or

400
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,280
Speaker 2: having a lawyer. Their whole case was they didn't even

401
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,080
Speaker 2: come back in person for court. We settled in mediation.

402
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:58,320
Speaker 2: I got three four seventy five percent custody of my daughter.

403
00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,960
Speaker 2: My wife gets her every week from two pm to

404
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,760
Speaker 2: eight pm and alternating weekends. I completely ruined her plan

405
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,560
Speaker 2: of getting one hundred percent child support. She had been

406
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,119
Speaker 2: bad mouthing me and talking me down to her friends

407
00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:12,960
Speaker 2: and her family, telling them lies about me. But anyone

408
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,080
Speaker 2: who knew me and my side of the story knew

409
00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:17,760
Speaker 2: she was full of crap. I'm curious to see how

410
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:21,000
Speaker 2: she explains to them how an irresponsible idiot got more

411
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:24,280
Speaker 2: custody of my daughter than she did. It seems like

412
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,280
Speaker 2: more than twenty.

413
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,879
Speaker 3: Five Oh yeah, I like this way more more than

414
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,120
Speaker 3: twenty five percent every weekday from.

415
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:29,600
Speaker 1: Two to eight.

416
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,320
Speaker 2: But I guess maybe he's working from that toy. But

417
00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:35,239
Speaker 2: I guess technically, if you have her the other what

418
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,320
Speaker 2: would that be sixteen hours or something like.

419
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,159
Speaker 3: That, So you have her like when she's asleep.

420
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,720
Speaker 2: Basically, yeah, which is kind of I don't know.

421
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,440
Speaker 3: That's a weird custody agreement.

422
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:47,360
Speaker 2: She has had her since after the hearing. I'm already

423
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,840
Speaker 2: going insane with worry. I don't know how she could

424
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,480
Speaker 2: have gone and partied a day or two after I left.

425
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:54,920
Speaker 2: I can't eat, her sleep, and all I think about

426
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,960
Speaker 2: is my daughter. I get her back Sunday night. This

427
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,240
Speaker 2: will be the longest weekend of my life.

428
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,320
Speaker 3: I will say, I think this is temporary custody. I

429
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:05,159
Speaker 3: think they mentioned that this was a temporary custody agreement,

430
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:08,720
Speaker 3: which makes a little bit more sense. Why it's like this. Yeah, yeah,

431
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,840
Speaker 3: So maybe in the future, when they have the actual

432
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,159
Speaker 3: custody agreement, it'll be a little different.

433
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:16,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe that seventy five or yeah, maybe the seventy

434
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,159
Speaker 2: five is part of the temporary nine percent. Sure, but

435
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:19,960
Speaker 2: let us know what you think in comments. This is

436
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,679
Speaker 2: only a small win in a long battle. I have

437
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,560
Speaker 2: close to an impossible road ahead of me. I have

438
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,760
Speaker 2: until Tuesday to find a place to live. I have

439
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:32,239
Speaker 2: no money, no job, no car. But I do have

440
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 2: love for my daughter, and with that I will move

441
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,400
Speaker 2: mountains for her and we will prevail.

442
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:42,080
Speaker 3: I mean, it's shocking that op got seventy five percent

443
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:45,119
Speaker 3: custody with no job, no car, no house.

444
00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:48,200
Speaker 2: You are bringing up a very good point, Mike.

445
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,840
Speaker 4: I mean it kind of to me shows how bad

446
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:53,000
Speaker 4: she is.

447
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,919
Speaker 2: I also wonder how if he got money back from

448
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,800
Speaker 2: the joint account, because I would assume legally you're entitled

449
00:19:58,880 --> 00:19:59,400
Speaker 2: to well.

450
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,240
Speaker 3: I think these are the divorce hearings. These are just

451
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:03,760
Speaker 3: the custody hearings.

452
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,320
Speaker 2: Maybe just move back to the parents' house to plan

453
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,360
Speaker 2: everything out, you know, like you know, I think, just

454
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,399
Speaker 2: trying to get a job lining things up and you know.

455
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,800
Speaker 2: But we have another update. I lied, I'm a big

456
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:15,320
Speaker 2: fat liar.

457
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:16,080
Speaker 4: Let's read it.

458
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,679
Speaker 2: There's more. Okay, So, picking up off the last post,

459
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,359
Speaker 2: I found a place for us to stay nice. That's great.

460
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,320
Speaker 2: One of the daughters of the foe grandma and her boyfriend,

461
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,280
Speaker 2: have opened up their house to me and my daughter.

462
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,879
Speaker 2: That's awesome. We are both really grateful to them. We

463
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,760
Speaker 2: currently go on one to two walks a day, and

464
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,680
Speaker 2: earlier today we spent close to an hour just playing outside.

465
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:40,000
Speaker 2: My daughter's mom started out strong with the custody hours,

466
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:43,320
Speaker 2: but as I guessed, she started coming later and later.

467
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 2: Now it's an average of once a week that she

468
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,080
Speaker 2: gets her and she's all but given up on the weekends.

469
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,760
Speaker 2: So it's like I have full and total custody.

470
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,480
Speaker 3: I think someone mentioned that earlier. They were saying, like,

471
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,480
Speaker 3: she's probably gonna like kind of just stop it out, yeah,

472
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 3: fade out, because she it doesn't seem like she wants

473
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 3: to take care of the kid in the first place.

474
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,320
Speaker 3: It seems like she mostly just wanted custody to spite him.

475
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 2: I totally agree. She brings her boyfriend every time she

476
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,160
Speaker 2: comes to get our daughter. She refused to be cordial,

477
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,879
Speaker 2: ignoring my wishes that she have a good day. Somehow

478
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,639
Speaker 2: it's my fault that she has to drive out and

479
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,679
Speaker 2: get our daughter. Her being inconsistent has really hindered me

480
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,960
Speaker 2: though I have my daughter ready to leave before her

481
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 2: pickup time, but I have to wait three plus hours

482
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,560
Speaker 2: to see if she really shows up, which, like you know,

483
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,520
Speaker 2: OPI's probably working now or getting a job. That's very

484
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,280
Speaker 2: you know, that's tough. She is inconsistent and may even

485
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,640
Speaker 2: be doing it on purpose. I'm trying to be good

486
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,920
Speaker 2: and have already on time, but it's really cutting into

487
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,399
Speaker 2: my appointments. I now take my daughter with me to

488
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:41,920
Speaker 2: my physical therapy because more often than not, my ex

489
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 2: won't pick her up. She is refusing to give me

490
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,080
Speaker 2: my stuff, my clothes and other important items that I

491
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 2: left when my daughter and I took our trip to California.

492
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,239
Speaker 2: She is also claiming that she has no money, so

493
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 2: she hasn't made her payments. She owes me a four

494
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,879
Speaker 2: hundred dollars lump sum of child support. We agreed on

495
00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 2: seven hundred and fifty in lieu of weekly child support,

496
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 2: but she somehow has money for new clothes, a new phone,

497
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 2: and a new smart watch.

498
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:06,919
Speaker 3: I feel like this is all information that you can

499
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 3: be taking stock of and bring back to another child.

500
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,639
Speaker 2: I have to imagine, and then the price goes up,

501
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,480
Speaker 2: like all right, you interest, you decided not to pay me? Now,

502
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,680
Speaker 2: all right, price going up? This is for our daughter.

503
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:21,160
Speaker 2: I wonder how that works. Thankfully, I have people who

504
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 2: love my daughter, so she will never go without. I

505
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,919
Speaker 2: have no money, and no one has given me a

506
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,320
Speaker 2: callback for the jobs I've applied for, not that I

507
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,520
Speaker 2: could work since I basically have my daughter twenty four

508
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 2: to seven, I have applied for unemployment. That was another

509
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,399
Speaker 2: thing I'm gonna mention too, and am currently rolled in

510
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 2: school full time, but I've hit some roadblocks regarding my

511
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 2: gi bill.

512
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 3: I also forgot. Oh he is a vet.

513
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, so maybe there's some opportunities there or something. He's

514
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,400
Speaker 2: working on getting the GiB full school, which is great, hope,

515
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 2: maybe that should hopefully help. Maybe that a living stipend

516
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:51,320
Speaker 2: or something.

517
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,320
Speaker 3: Usually, yeah, you can get like, you know, if you're

518
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 3: a better and you can get some sort of stipend

519
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 3: and some sort of funding. It's a bit hard, I

520
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,400
Speaker 3: you know. Yeah, yeah, maybe like reaching out to.

521
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 2: Worth looking into. But you know what else is worth

522
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,160
Speaker 2: looking into? Sofia?

523
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:07,200
Speaker 1: What there are.

524
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:11,439
Speaker 2: Two thousand episodes of Okay story Time? But for some reason,

525
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 2: you right now haven't pulled out your phone gone to Spotify,

526
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 2: Apple or iHeart Podcast your favorite podcast app and search

527
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 2: Okay Storytime.

528
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:21,640
Speaker 3: That's so strange.

529
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 2: What is wrong with you?

530
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,919
Speaker 3: You're telling me you're only listening to one episode of

531
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 3: Okay Storytime right now when you could be listening to

532
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 3: fifty four days worth of episodes at the same time.

533
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,120
Speaker 3: Do better, It's too better.

534
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 2: All right. So we have a little bit left in

535
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,520
Speaker 2: the story here. So Opie says, my daughter's doing amazing.

536
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,080
Speaker 2: She's surrounded by people who love her. She's walking so

537
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 2: good now and communicates more and more. She's getting so big.

538
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,640
Speaker 2: It's night and day from before we left them. Now

539
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 2: she's getting more and more independent too, and she likes

540
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 2: to be in control. I'm hopefully not like your mother.

541
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:53,960
Speaker 2: Oh god.

542
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:54,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

543
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:56,960
Speaker 2: My daughter is happy though, so I just need to

544
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 2: be strong for her. As for my divorce, I haven't

545
00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 2: gotten to the next court yet, and my lawyer said

546
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 2: it isn't worth trying to change any temporary custody order,

547
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 2: so I just need to wait this out. It's hard

548
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 2: since I have to stay here in Indiana. If I

549
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:12,879
Speaker 2: was in California, I would have my family, a job,

550
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,080
Speaker 2: free college, and everything would be easier.

551
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,400
Speaker 3: Well, because probably he might be like in state because.

552
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 2: The kid in access to the kid yeah yes, yeah, yeah,

553
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,320
Speaker 2: So he can't leave to California with the kid to

554
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,359
Speaker 2: be able to get all that stuff exactly because she's

555
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:29,199
Speaker 2: still some custody, right.

556
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,160
Speaker 3: I'm just like, can you get more custody?

557
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,960
Speaker 2: I have to imaginef he says that to a judge like.

558
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,880
Speaker 3: Judge Jay, like, I have all of this access to stuff.

559
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 3: She doesn't even want the kid. She's not showing up

560
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:40,119
Speaker 3: to pick up our child.

561
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 2: So I'm stuck here probably for next sixteen years.

562
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:45,520
Speaker 1: I think you.

563
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,679
Speaker 3: Should go back get that little. I mean, you settled

564
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,239
Speaker 3: in mediation, but like, is there any way that I

565
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,680
Speaker 3: feel like you could have gotten more if you hadn't settled.

566
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:54,400
Speaker 3: Maybe because it was cheaper.

567
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,639
Speaker 2: But that is it. That is literally all she wrote.

568
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,439
Speaker 4: I was spot having lunch with a co worker.

569
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,719
Speaker 1: My wife is furious have divorced for dessert.

570
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,960
Speaker 3: First of all, my workplace has three floors. One floor

571
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,880
Speaker 3: has an evenish number of guys and girls. The other

572
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 3: two have mainly women. This new girl, Alice, joined a

573
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,880
Speaker 3: few months ago. I didn't really know a whole lot

574
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 3: about her, but we have hung out in a few

575
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 3: Friday evenings after work drinking sessions. Not a whole lot

576
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 3: of interaction prior to that. We just chat on occasion

577
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 3: when we see each other at work, or if she

578
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,439
Speaker 3: has to come to the floor I work on, or

579
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,479
Speaker 3: I have to go down there. By the way, this

580
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 3: comes from Throwaway Just got food And if you want

581
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:35,879
Speaker 3: to submit your own stories, go to the r slush

582
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:40,160
Speaker 3: Oaki Storytime subburt it. So she is oware I am married?

583
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:43,679
Speaker 3: They met briefly at a company event shortly after Alice

584
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 3: started working there. This was when I really first got

585
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 3: introduced her. Hell, most everyone here knows I'm married. Two

586
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:53,119
Speaker 3: pictures on my desk or my family. Anyway, the other day,

587
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,240
Speaker 3: I was heading to lunch when Alice asked me to

588
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 3: grab some lunch with her because she needed some advice.

589
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:00,679
Speaker 3: I said, no problem. We went to Life. There's a

590
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 3: food court a couple of buildings away, so we went

591
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 3: there and I paid for both of us to grab

592
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 3: some Tai food. We chatted for a while, then she

593
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 3: began asking for advice, which was the purpose of grabbing

594
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,080
Speaker 3: lunch together. She has a boyfriend. He's into fishing and

595
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,120
Speaker 3: hiking and rock climbing that sort of thing.

596
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 1: Ie.

597
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:17,919
Speaker 3: I like rock climbing.

598
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 1: Too, so am I, so am I so am aw

599
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 1: not me.

600
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,159
Speaker 3: I don't like fishing though. Fishing is boring to me.

601
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:28,920
Speaker 3: Oh couch, it's something my brothers and I, as well

602
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 3: as our sister grew up doing. One of the girls

603
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 3: on her floor mentioned that I'm into these things and

604
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 3: she should ask me because she wanted advice about what

605
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 3: kinds of gear to buy him for his birthday. She

606
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 3: wanted to buy him a compilation of equipment, some fishing gear,

607
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 3: some hiking, some climbing. So we chatted for a while

608
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 3: about that, and on her phone. I showed her some

609
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:47,719
Speaker 3: supplies she could pick up for him and told her

610
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,360
Speaker 3: if she needed more help, just ask. Then we went

611
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,920
Speaker 3: back to work and that was it. So I came

612
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 3: home and forgot all about it, played with the kids,

613
00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:58,919
Speaker 3: watched television for a bit, washed the dishes, and that

614
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 3: was it. It wasn't something significant for me, so I

615
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 3: didn't mention it. Two days later, my wife Karen asks

616
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 3: me where I was for lunch that day, so I

617
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,480
Speaker 3: told her, grabbing lunch with a coworker. She's angry, and

618
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 3: I'm pretty surprised as to why I just told her

619
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 3: Alice and I grabbed lunch. She wanted to help picking

620
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,399
Speaker 3: presents for her boyfriend, who has similar interests that I

621
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 3: also have told her. I bought her lunch, We chatted,

622
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 3: I showed her some stuff she could buy on her phone,

623
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,239
Speaker 3: and then we went back to work. I might as

624
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:30,680
Speaker 3: well have dug my own grave, saying that she's been

625
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 3: absolutely furious the past couple of days, throwing scathing comments

626
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,120
Speaker 3: and that sort of thing. I'm pretty hurt. I don't

627
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 3: see what I did wrong. Maybe not telling her immediately

628
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 3: was wrong, I guess, but I didn't do anything with

629
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,679
Speaker 3: ill intent toward her or our marriage, so it just

630
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,680
Speaker 3: didn't bother me. It also didn't help that her friend

631
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,679
Speaker 3: saw us at the food court eating lunch, which was

632
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,840
Speaker 3: who she heard it from. Now, the thing about Alice,

633
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,359
Speaker 3: she's younger than Karen by eleven years and is a

634
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 3: typically attractive girl, perky and fairly cheerful.

635
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:03,640
Speaker 2: That's a weird word.

636
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,120
Speaker 3: Quite a few guys hit on her when we're at

637
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 3: those after work drinking sessions. So I guess this is

638
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 3: a factor because on Saturday, when I asked my wife

639
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 3: if she wanted to grab some dinner, I got a

640
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 3: very sullen.

641
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:19,400
Speaker 4: Maybe you should get lunch with Alice.

642
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 3: In response, ewen nice a rock. Another time she did

643
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 3: mention maybe you just want a younger woman or something.

644
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 3: I don't. I love my life, I love my marriage.

645
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 3: I'm a faithful man. I don't think what I did

646
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:33,320
Speaker 3: was wrong. I get her. Hearing it from a friend

647
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 3: made it sound much worse than it really was. Yes,

648
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 3: Alice is attractive and younger, but that doesn't matter to me. However,

649
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 3: it seems to bother my wife a lot. Was I

650
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:47,240
Speaker 3: really wrong here? How can I address the situation? And

651
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 3: edit since this is apparently so important. Yes, I paid

652
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 3: for my coworkers lunch. I did it to break one

653
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 3: hundred dollar bill, and she did, in fact, repay me

654
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 3: immediately after. Okay, so Opie didn't even.

655
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 2: Pay Nope is the gesture, Oh my goodness, and he

656
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 2: pulled out one hundred dollars bill to say like, hey,

657
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 2: I can take care of you. I am a male provider.

658
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 2: I even though you just paid me back a video.

659
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 3: I didn't include this because where I'm from it's pretty

660
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 3: common for one person to pay for everyone's food. If

661
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 3: everyone is buying from the same place, then everyone else

662
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 3: just reimburses the cash afterward. Hope this clears up stuff

663
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 3: a little. That's what I do. That's what we always do.

664
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 3: Little venmo after situation. I didn't think it would be

665
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 3: such a huge issue. Edit too. Also, yes, I have

666
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 3: had lunch with coworkers before, sometimes in groups, sometimes just

667
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:37,440
Speaker 3: one on one. Sometimes they're with guys, and sometimes they're

668
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 3: with female coworkers. This has never been an issue before,

669
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 3: which is also why I didn't mention it. It wasn't

670
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 3: important and it's not something that's bothered my wife before.

671
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 3: Just thought i'd put that in as well, and there

672
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 3: are some comments.

673
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 4: But do you have any of your own comments?

674
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 3: Because I sure do.

675
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 2: I got an ICU.

676
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 3: What's your ICU?

677
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,720
Speaker 2: I think maybe the old wife you o over there

678
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 2: has been seeing a Oh.

679
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 4: You think a little bit of projection.

680
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,720
Speaker 2: Oh, like a classroom in the early two thousands.

681
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 3: Hmm, that's true.

682
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 2: I had projectors, that's true.

683
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got it, we were there.

684
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 3: Never had that. Do you guys ever have the smartboard?

685
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 1: Oh?

686
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, old shout out.

687
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 1: To that common one.

688
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 3: It sounds to me like her friend who spotted you

689
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 3: as given her a danging description of what you were

690
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 3: up to, which is coloring her reaction probably less oh

691
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 3: I saw your husband having lunch with some woman the

692
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 3: other day, and more like, hey, I saw your husband

693
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 3: at lunch with some hot young girl the other day.

694
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,959
Speaker 3: They look pretty friendly, That's what I'm thinking. It sounds

695
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 3: like your wife is also possibly a bit insecure. I

696
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 3: mean the fact that she's saying like, oh, you want

697
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 3: a younger woman. Is that what you want?

698
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

699
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 3: Whereas men have the stereotype of getting more attractive with age,

700
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 3: women are often seen as past their best once they

701
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 3: hit a certain point. She may be feeling sensitive about

702
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 3: her own appearance and declining youth, so hearing that you

703
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 3: got lunch with someone much younger likely prodded in already

704
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 3: sore spot for her. I just think about that today.

705
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 3: It's really messed up that like all these men they're like,

706
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 3: oh a silver fox, and every women are like either

707
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 3: too much boatox the commentary is either too much botox,

708
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 3: they look old.

709
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 1: You can't win. Guys, stop it.

710
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 3: Stop Stop giving women insecurities because then they accuse their

711
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 3: husbands of cheating on them.

712
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 2: Can I tell you something? Men are ugly and.

713
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 4: Are Wait that's not the takeaway.

714
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 2: Yes it is. Yeah, I said it, and not taking

715
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 2: it back.

716
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 1: Wait, John, are we ugly?

717
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 2: Not us?

718
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 1: Not us?

719
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 2: The other men guys? So the other guys.

720
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:35,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, other men.

721
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 3: I'm gonna say more of the story. Yes, I would

722
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 3: sit down with her and try to get her to

723
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 3: open up about why she's reacting like this. Does she

724
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 3: feel secure in the marriage? Is she genuinely worried that

725
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 3: she might be looking elsewhere? Or was she just embarrassed

726
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:49,600
Speaker 3: that a friend thought you were up to no good?

727
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,640
Speaker 3: Whatever it is, it helped to find the root of

728
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 3: why she feels like this, So you can work it

729
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 3: out with her, and comment too, did you ask her

730
00:31:57,840 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 3: why she was asking? It seems a bit odd to

731
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 3: ask days later. I personally don't think you did anything wrong.

732
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 3: I imagine you would have told her if she had asked

733
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 3: you that that evening how your day was. But I

734
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,280
Speaker 3: wonder if a friend or colleague of hers saw you

735
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,720
Speaker 3: two together, gave her a heads up and she's embarrassed

736
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 3: for one reason or another, and we already know that

737
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 3: the friend did ope. Another comment says you seem like

738
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 3: a very nice guy, but perhaps a bit oblivious. Your

739
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 3: wife's friend saw you with a younger woman mentioned it

740
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 3: to your wife because you never said a word to

741
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 3: her about it. Again, a valid mistake. And also I

742
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 3: think it happened like day of I think it's yeah,

743
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:31,880
Speaker 3: like Opie got home and his wife was like, what

744
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:33,400
Speaker 3: did you get up to today, and he's like, oh,

745
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 3: I had lunch with a coworker.

746
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 2: Yeah.

747
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 3: So I don't even think that's like admitting anything.

748
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:40,520
Speaker 2: That's just And I believe when he says like, I

749
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 2: didn't think I did anything wrong?

750
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, you didn't. Yeah, it's like you don't have

751
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 3: anything to apologize for. You didn't do anything. Now, she

752
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 3: looks like a fool in front of her friends. Adding

753
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 3: on to the fact that she knows exactly who this

754
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 3: woman is. Anne has met her before and was already

755
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:58,720
Speaker 3: feeling insecure about it. Another time, she did mention maybe

756
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 3: you just want a younger woman or something in her mind.

757
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:04,040
Speaker 3: I bet she thinks Slash knows that this friend didn't

758
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 3: just mention it to her. She's probably feeling embarrassed because

759
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 3: she has to admit to her friend that the two

760
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,160
Speaker 3: of you don't communicate because she has no idea this

761
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 3: was going on. Maybe that's in her mind, is what

762
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 3: the comment are saying. Add it on to the fact

763
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 3: that you never mentioned to her. I think this commentary

764
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 3: didn't really read a piece post is. I feel like

765
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 3: Opie mentioned that this all happened in the.

766
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 2: Same day commenter, get it together, Get it together.

767
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:27,160
Speaker 3: I'm not saying what you did was wrong, but looking

768
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 3: at it from her perspective I think will help you

769
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:31,880
Speaker 3: moving forward. Opie says, I have looked at it from

770
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,239
Speaker 3: her perspective, but talking to her about the situation has

771
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 3: been difficult because she's been pretty aggressive the last few days.

772
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 3: Another poster said I should just wait for her to

773
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 3: mellow down before talking it out, and there is an update. Oh,

774
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 3: but I do have one thought. I think this is

775
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,959
Speaker 3: not at all anywhere near a divorce, Like we're not

776
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 3: in that territory.

777
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 2: At all, or or are we?

778
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 3: Wow, John's got a strong I see you there. But

779
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 3: I think that right now, this this is just like

780
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 3: your wife is clearly dealing with some insecurities. I don't

781
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,720
Speaker 3: think this is a point where we need to belittle her.

782
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 3: She's not doing a good job at communicating. But I

783
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 3: think you can go to her and be like, I

784
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,359
Speaker 3: love you. I don't have eyes for anyone else. I

785
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 3: just want to like really affirm that. So it's been

786
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 3: a few days since everything happened, and Karen and I

787
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 3: have talked things out. One of the first things I

788
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 3: asked was why she got so angry about me having

789
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,200
Speaker 3: lunch with my coworker. The op and its responses pretty

790
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 3: much gave me a solid idea, but I wanted to

791
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,000
Speaker 3: hear it from her. At first, she said she didn't know,

792
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,680
Speaker 3: but after a while of not saying anything, she admitted

793
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 3: that she'd been having a hard time at work lately,

794
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,920
Speaker 3: and given that we'd both been busy, plus hearing from

795
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 3: her friend that she saw me with some young, hot

796
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:45,840
Speaker 3: girl laughing at lunch made me feel like crap. She

797
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 3: admitted that she got really insecure and afraid at the

798
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,759
Speaker 3: thought of me carrying on with the coworker and the

799
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,720
Speaker 3: fact that she was younger and that her friend described

800
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:55,759
Speaker 3: Alice as hot didn't help at all.

801
00:34:55,920 --> 00:35:00,560
Speaker 2: Oh no, she's hot, good re friend John.

802
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 3: She said that having kids, plus a hard time at work,

803
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,399
Speaker 3: plus gaining a few pounds nothing significant at all, made

804
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,799
Speaker 3: her feel threatened at the thought of someone younger who

805
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:09,880
Speaker 3: hadn't been through.

806
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 1: All of that.

807
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,800
Speaker 3: She said she should have known I'd never do something

808
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:14,799
Speaker 3: like that, and that never once in her marriage had

809
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,319
Speaker 3: I ever given a reason to think that. I told

810
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:19,279
Speaker 3: her that once again, the reason why Alice and I

811
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 3: had lunched that day, and even showed her some of

812
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:23,919
Speaker 3: the stuff I showed Alice to purchase for her ESSO.

813
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 3: By the way, I can show you how to listen

814
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 3: to full episodes and stories just like this. All you

815
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 3: need to go do is go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

816
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:35,799
Speaker 3: or iHeartRadio and search a Pocus story time.

817
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:36,319
Speaker 2: I love it.

818
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,359
Speaker 3: I've showed you how, But there is a literle bit

819
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 3: left to the story, do me final thoughts?

820
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:41,799
Speaker 2: You know what we communicated.

821
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 3: I love to see a little tiff turns into nothing

822
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:45,799
Speaker 3: with a little bit of communication.

823
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 2: So you're feeling, so I feeling And then yeah, you

824
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 2: always anytime when someone said, you're like, oh, yeah, I

825
00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 2: get that.

826
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 5: You know.

827
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 3: It didn't exactly go back to normal asap, but she

828
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,480
Speaker 3: did apologize for lashing out and not giving me an

829
00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 3: opportunity to explain myself, as well as not trusting me.

830
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 3: Since then, we've had a couple of date nights in

831
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 3: the past five days left, the kids with the sitter,

832
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 3: had some thinner et cetera, et cetera. All in all,

833
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,240
Speaker 3: things are back to normal and are better than before.

834
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:14,040
Speaker 3: In other news, Alice mentioned that her boyfriend loves the

835
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:17,440
Speaker 3: gear I suggested she buy for him, and comments comment

836
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:19,880
Speaker 3: one says, by the way, your wife's friend sounds to

837
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,840
Speaker 3: me like a catty witch. I would never say yours

838
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 3: et thou was out with a young hot chick. I

839
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:26,839
Speaker 3: would say, oh, by the way, I saw your esso

840
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:30,160
Speaker 3: at lunch yesterday, and then slowly introduce it to prevent

841
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 3: automatic suspicion. Part of this was caused by her being

842
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:36,520
Speaker 3: a bad friend. I agree but that is also the

843
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:37,720
Speaker 3: end of this story.

844
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,560
Speaker 2: Oh hey, it's Sam. We're going to get back to

845
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 2: the stories, but here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors.

846
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 3: I had an affair with my brother's girlfriend. It tore

847
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:47,760
Speaker 3: my family apart.

848
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 1: You're the cheater, I mean, no, you're the cheaty. No,

849
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:51,680
Speaker 1: you're the worst person.

850
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 3: When I was in my mid twenties, my younger brother,

851
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 3: Ezra nineteen, went away to an out of state school.

852
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 3: I had just finished my own stay at my university,

853
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 3: so I went back home to find an apartment close

854
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:08,240
Speaker 3: to my family. Ezra's girlfriend, Melanie nineteen, also stayed behind

855
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:10,879
Speaker 3: to study at a local college. She and I would

856
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 3: hang out once in a while. I didn't realize at

857
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 3: first that I was playing with fire by doing this.

858
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,359
Speaker 1: Yes you did, Yes you do.

859
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,080
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from husband, father, brother, and

860
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

861
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:27,640
Speaker 3: the r slash. Okay, story time suffered at so Haufabrethor

862
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,000
Speaker 3: Melanie and I got closer. We would go to the movies,

863
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:34,320
Speaker 3: grab a bite, and hang out at family dinners. Ezra

864
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 3: couldn't be there, but my dad would extend invites to Melanie,

865
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:41,319
Speaker 3: who Ezra dated all throughout high school. They planned to

866
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 3: be married after school, so she was family. My dad

867
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:47,280
Speaker 3: also remarried, so we were trying to build new bonds

868
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:50,479
Speaker 3: with his new wife and her kids, one of whom

869
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,720
Speaker 3: was close in age to Melanie. I guess things began

870
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 3: to get messy when my dad's new wife started to

871
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 3: comment that I looked better with Melanie.

872
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:01,399
Speaker 1: You know what you do? You shut that down.

873
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 3: I had a stable job and was ready to start

874
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 3: my life and settle down. Melanie was offended at first,

875
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,799
Speaker 3: but as we grew closer, she began to make similar comments.

876
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 1: What you shut this down?

877
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:15,719
Speaker 3: I'm sorry?

878
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 1: Why are we not shutting this down?

879
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 2: Why are we?

880
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:17,879
Speaker 5: Yeah?

881
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 3: She began to make similar comments about she looked better

882
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 3: with you than her boyfriend, Ezra would come down for

883
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,440
Speaker 3: the summer or some weekends where they would still sleep

884
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 3: together and function like a couple because they are a couple,

885
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 3: because they're dating each other. Stop like a couple. Oh man,

886
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:40,719
Speaker 3: there's no similes here. When he would leave, she would

887
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:42,919
Speaker 3: be with me, you suck.

888
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

889
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 3: Things got physical one night after I reacted jealously at

890
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 3: her and Ezra snuggling up her snuggling up with her boyfriend.

891
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 3: It was the turning point that I'd been waiting on.

892
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 3: I know now that I was wrong, and I'm not

893
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,719
Speaker 3: proud of any of this. My dad and his wife

894
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 3: were at odds over our life relationship. My dad was

895
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 3: actually furious with me and demanded we stop good on

896
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:08,400
Speaker 3: your dad unless he doesn't tell your brother. Melanie was

897
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 3: disinvited from family dinners smart and my dad reached out

898
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 3: to my mom to inform her about us. My dad's

899
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 3: wife had an opposite opinion. I have another sibling six

900
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:21,359
Speaker 3: in total, all brothers, Aaron, who suspected something was off.

901
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 3: Things came to a head when Aaron took Ezra aside

902
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,600
Speaker 3: during a visit to let him know what he learned

903
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:30,759
Speaker 3: from who knows where. Aaron has always had it out

904
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:34,160
Speaker 3: for me, or so I believe, another story for another day.

905
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:38,279
Speaker 3: Get over yourself, Ophie, I'm sorry Aaron has it out

906
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 3: for you. So he told Ezra that you are cheating

907
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:43,440
Speaker 3: with his girlfriend.

908
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 1: Get over yourself.

909
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:46,960
Speaker 2: What are you doing?

910
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 3: But what happened after set my whole life in motion

911
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 3: in the direction it's been for the last decade. It's

912
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:56,880
Speaker 3: been just over ten years since Ezra discovered what we

913
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,080
Speaker 3: had done. And set the whole family on fire.

914
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 1: Oh ten years, ten years?

915
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:05,239
Speaker 5: What?

916
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 1: Wow?

917
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:08,320
Speaker 3: He had to go at our parents and my dad's

918
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,799
Speaker 3: wife for her involvement, and there's silence, and then he

919
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:13,360
Speaker 3: just left. Yeah, I'd be pretty pissed if my parents

920
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:15,400
Speaker 3: didn't tell me that my sibling.

921
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:18,400
Speaker 1: Was cheating with my partner. Oh, it sounds like a

922
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:19,320
Speaker 1: personal problem.

923
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:21,440
Speaker 3: It sounds like a NDS like you need to get over.

924
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:22,719
Speaker 1: It sounds like a skill issue.

925
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 3: It took a while, maybe a few months, eight but

926
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 3: he left and I have yet to ever see him

927
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 3: again because you betrayed him those eight months. I was

928
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:32,600
Speaker 3: not a kind person.

929
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 2: I was just cheating.

930
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 3: After Melanie was embarrassed and mistreated by Ezra for cheating,

931
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:45,759
Speaker 3: I immediately took her in. Wow, that's so unexpected of you.

932
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:47,440
Speaker 3: You took it in the person that you were cheating me.

933
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 1: This has to be bait. This is crazy.

934
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,160
Speaker 3: And we became official. Did we find this on am?

935
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 3: I the devil? Our family disapproved for a while, but

936
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:59,480
Speaker 3: eventually they came around. She felt pregnant and I proposed

937
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 3: her parents and my parents learned of this and agreed

938
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 3: that it was best for the baby that we marry,

939
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:07,800
Speaker 3: so they paid for everything. It was a humble wedding,

940
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 3: but my family pulled through for me and showed up.

941
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 3: During this time, Aaron continued to lecture my parents about

942
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 3: their involvement with our relationship and abandonment of Ezra. I

943
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 3: understood that he was in pain and needed them. I

944
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:23,880
Speaker 3: did too. I was becoming a new father and husband.

945
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:28,360
Speaker 1: What is this story? Is this story? What is this story?

946
00:41:28,719 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 3: I was looking into buying my first home or starting

947
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:34,440
Speaker 3: my first big job, and planning a wedding. I didn't

948
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:36,400
Speaker 3: expect Ezra to suck it up, but they are my

949
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:40,359
Speaker 3: parents too. My parents were preoccupied with us, so much

950
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:42,560
Speaker 3: so that Ezra moved a few towns over and we

951
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,360
Speaker 3: didn't notice until a month or so. We used to

952
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:48,240
Speaker 3: see him around town where he worked, but we noticed

953
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:50,959
Speaker 3: we stopped seeing him. I reached out, only to find

954
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 3: his number was changed. Aaron was no help, just criticisms

955
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 3: and warnings about Ezra's well being, no kind.

956
00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 4: Words for me, Melanie or our child.

957
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 3: Although what he lost to brothers in actuality, what do

958
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:03,800
Speaker 3: you expect?

959
00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:10,760
Speaker 1: Congrats on taking my girlfriend and having a baby with her. Dude.

960
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,879
Speaker 3: Eventually, our wedding grew closer and the invitations were sent out.

961
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 3: No response from Ezra and aeron this is bait, which

962
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 3: I expected, so I asked my mom to verify with them.

963
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 3: I understood if the answer was no. If if, what

964
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,880
Speaker 3: we found was they were completely gone. Aaron had a

965
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:34,640
Speaker 3: longtime girlfriend who RSVP'd no to our wedding and clammed

966
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:38,319
Speaker 3: up about where my brothers went off to. Yeah, I'm

967
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:40,879
Speaker 3: sure your brother Ezra doesn't want you to find out

968
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:43,480
Speaker 3: if he has a new partner given what you did

969
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 3: with the last one.

970
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 1: I mean, she wasn't doing ith One.

971
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 3: Aunt, the one who would often echo Aaron's comments and

972
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,399
Speaker 3: skipped out on my wedding, let us know that they

973
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:55,960
Speaker 3: were safe and that we needed to move on. So

974
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 3: that was that. Sad to say, I haven't seen them

975
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:02,920
Speaker 3: in ten years. My parents were obviously distraught and regretful.

976
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 3: It put a huge damper on our wedding and the

977
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 3: birth of my child. We thought about combining their names

978
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 3: as a middle name for my son, but ultimately decided no.

979
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:16,759
Speaker 3: They would likely never meet my kids, so no need

980
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:22,360
Speaker 3: to confuse them. However, watching my parents break down whenever

981
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 3: family would get together took its toll.

982
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 4: Anyone who knew where they were.

983
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:29,719
Speaker 3: Did not say. It remains a great cloud over our

984
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:32,360
Speaker 3: lives to this day. I thought we had moved on

985
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:34,680
Speaker 3: by the time Mel and I had another kid. My

986
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:37,440
Speaker 3: parents seemed happy to be with me and my remaining brothers,

987
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 3: and they saw that Mel and I were serious about

988
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:42,360
Speaker 3: our relationship. An ideal match.

989
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:45,800
Speaker 1: Now they saw it was serious.

990
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 3: Soon enough, though, my mom decided to voice her regrets

991
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 3: to me and Melanie personally. When she found out about

992
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:55,040
Speaker 3: our relationship, she was staunchly against us, but came around

993
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:56,760
Speaker 3: when Mel felt pregnant.

994
00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:00,879
Speaker 1: Came around.

995
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,239
Speaker 3: Now she believes that she made a mistake where she

996
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:07,200
Speaker 3: lost two sons. Her relationship with mel has suffered greatly.

997
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:10,480
Speaker 3: My dad's family is much more welcoming to mel She's

998
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:13,000
Speaker 3: one of their own. My dad does miss his sons,

999
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:16,359
Speaker 3: but also loves his grandkids. He was content with this

1000
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,560
Speaker 3: for a long time until my mom went ahead and

1001
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 3: located erin in Ezra. It hurt to feel that she

1002
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 3: would prefer to have held on to them and lose

1003
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:26,640
Speaker 3: me and my sons in the process. She found that

1004
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 3: they were both married, Aaron to his longtime girlfriend who

1005
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 3: eventually moved away years ago, and Ezra to an unknown woman.

1006
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:36,440
Speaker 3: Both have a good amount of children, more than I have.

1007
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 3: In fact, my mother got some therapy and reached out

1008
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:42,239
Speaker 3: to my brothers and has made contact with Ezra. Aaron

1009
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 3: declined to reconcile, so she's been in contact with him

1010
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 3: for a year, even going as far as taking my

1011
00:44:48,719 --> 00:44:51,840
Speaker 3: youngest brothers with her to spend Christmas with Ezra and

1012
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:55,400
Speaker 3: his family. I've seen pictures of his sons and daughters

1013
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 3: and his wife too. I thought to keep a lot

1014
00:44:58,040 --> 00:44:59,880
Speaker 3: of this from my dad, but I come from he

1015
00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:03,240
Speaker 3: gossipy family, so I did show them what I found

1016
00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:07,120
Speaker 3: on my mom's Facebook. Before they could, my dad was

1017
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 3: overcome again, as if the wound was freshly exposed. He

1018
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:14,640
Speaker 3: felt he missed a lot and couldn't bear it. He

1019
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 3: looked at the images for a long time and eventually

1020
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:21,000
Speaker 3: called my mom and they spoke for hours. By the way,

1021
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 3: you can listen to full episodes with stories just like

1022
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 3: this for hours. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast, or

1023
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:30,919
Speaker 3: iHeartRadio and search a Pokey story time. So I sit

1024
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 3: here with fractured relationships everywhere, and that you caused.

1025
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 5: Good job.

1026
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:38,600
Speaker 3: My mom does not approve of me and my family.

1027
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:41,799
Speaker 3: Mel and my mom do not speak my dad is heartbroken.

1028
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 3: Ezra and Aaron took off and build a life with

1029
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:47,120
Speaker 3: their own families. From pictures, it seems they are still close,

1030
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 3: and though Aaron does not speak to our mother, his

1031
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:52,759
Speaker 3: wife and kids do the rest of my siblings are

1032
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:55,359
Speaker 3: young men just coming into their own I love them

1033
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:58,040
Speaker 3: so much, but I can't relate to them like I

1034
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 3: relate to my brothers, who are closer in aid, It's

1035
00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:02,400
Speaker 3: been years since I've had to deal with what my

1036
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 3: actions have caused. At least you know they're caused by

1037
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:08,480
Speaker 3: your actions. My wife is beginning to get insecure about

1038
00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:11,560
Speaker 3: my feelings towards her. She wonders if I regret her

1039
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:14,920
Speaker 3: and the kids. I want to fix this. I failed

1040
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 3: to fix it before, but I need to now. I

1041
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:19,600
Speaker 3: don't know how to repair it, though. How can I

1042
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:22,400
Speaker 3: make amends for a marriage and life I don't regret.

1043
00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:27,480
Speaker 1: We have comments, We have comments, we have comments, and

1044
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:30,240
Speaker 1: it's literally mister Frog from smiling friends. He goes, hello,

1045
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:31,240
Speaker 1: but I'm not sorry.

1046
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:32,560
Speaker 4: Comment one.

1047
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:35,400
Speaker 1: Do I apologize for this thing? I'm not sorry for it.

1048
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 3: I it took you ten years to realize you may

1049
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 3: have fed up, and you still sound entitled. How do

1050
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 3: you even manage that. The whole story is a But you,

1051
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,799
Speaker 3: your now esra' is the bad guy because he wasn't there.

1052
00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:52,680
Speaker 3: I say, why would he be there for.

1053
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:54,240
Speaker 1: A stake like you.

1054
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:56,359
Speaker 3: You were the one who implode your family. Not only

1055
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:59,040
Speaker 3: you betrayed him as a brother, but also your darling

1056
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:02,719
Speaker 3: wife with who you cheated on him with. Why would

1057
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:05,320
Speaker 3: he want anything to do with you? You both betrayed

1058
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:07,680
Speaker 3: him in so many ways that it really effed him up.

1059
00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 3: I'm glad for him he had Aaron to look after him.

1060
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 3: And then then when he moved at you didn't even notice.

1061
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 3: You didn't care. You don't even care now. You don't

1062
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:20,000
Speaker 3: want to reconcile for his well being or your parents

1063
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:24,320
Speaker 3: well being. No, you want to reconcile so nobody bothers

1064
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:26,359
Speaker 3: you about what happened and you and your wife can

1065
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:29,640
Speaker 3: live with no burden on your conscious I could go

1066
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:31,840
Speaker 3: on and on about how trash you are, but really

1067
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 3: it's a waste of time. Good for your brothers to

1068
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:37,520
Speaker 3: cut out as toxic person as you are from their lives.

1069
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 3: Leave them alone. You will continue to live with the

1070
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:44,080
Speaker 3: consequences of your actions even if you do contact them.

1071
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:48,319
Speaker 3: Comment two did you ever apologize for betraying him in

1072
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:51,240
Speaker 3: the worst way a brother can. Personally, you come across

1073
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:55,440
Speaker 3: as unapologetic. Ope, he says, a lot of people seem

1074
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 3: to think I'm not sorry, or that I'm playing the victim.

1075
00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:01,080
Speaker 1: I swear I'll I'm not sorry, no regrets, not sorry.

1076
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,279
Speaker 3: I swear I didn't mean to. I will bring this

1077
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 3: post to my therapist so she can show me what

1078
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:07,920
Speaker 3: I can't see. You can't get a new therapist if

1079
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:10,000
Speaker 3: you don't if you haven't already gone over.

1080
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:11,400
Speaker 1: This therapist you've been lying to.

1081
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 3: I tried to apologize so many times before he left.

1082
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:16,480
Speaker 3: I admit that I was a butt during that time

1083
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:18,359
Speaker 3: as well, so maybe the way I tried to make

1084
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:19,840
Speaker 3: amends didn't work because of that.

1085
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 1: I'm sorry I took your girl and now I have

1086
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:26,280
Speaker 1: kids with her. I'm so sorry you coulabreak up with her. Sorry,

1087
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:28,520
Speaker 1: probably agree more a lot.

1088
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:31,160
Speaker 3: Of emotionally charged responses here. Going to try a less

1089
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:35,880
Speaker 3: angry Appliply, Unfortunately, you can't put the toothpaste back in

1090
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 3: the tube. Though you may have failed to think the

1091
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 3: decision through at the time, you made a decision to

1092
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:44,400
Speaker 3: have a relationship with your now wife, and give up

1093
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:48,440
Speaker 3: your relationship with your brother. Realistically, I don't see how

1094
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:50,440
Speaker 3: you could have expected a different outcome.

1095
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:52,879
Speaker 1: He thought everyone was gonna you know, Yes, we're one big,

1096
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:54,279
Speaker 1: happy family. Kumbaiah.

1097
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:55,040
Speaker 2: This is great.

1098
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 3: Betraying your brother also had the consequences of making your

1099
00:48:58,040 --> 00:48:59,120
Speaker 3: family members two.

1100
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:00,959
Speaker 1: Sides impossible task.

1101
00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:04,520
Speaker 3: In your conflict, again, you decided tearing your family apart

1102
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:06,319
Speaker 3: was worth it if you could be with your with

1103
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:10,680
Speaker 3: your brother's girlfriend now your wife. Looking back, you seem

1104
00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:13,439
Speaker 3: to be realizing the actual choices you made. I would

1105
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 3: regret the casualties of my family relationships as well. If

1106
00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:19,320
Speaker 3: you want to write your brother some letters, by all means.

1107
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 1: Go ahead.

1108
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:21,880
Speaker 3: I think your best bet is to move on and

1109
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,720
Speaker 3: try to be the best you you can be, best dad,

1110
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:28,120
Speaker 3: best husband, best son. You can't unmake the past, but

1111
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 3: you can make your future. I feel for you, dude,

1112
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 3: even if you were a gigantic a hole ten years ago.

1113
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 3: If I could think of some advice to help you

1114
00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 3: put your family back together, I'd give it to you.

1115
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:40,040
Speaker 3: I just don't think it's possible.

1116
00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:41,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that is.

1117
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:42,560
Speaker 3: The end of that story.

1118
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam. We'll get back to the stories. But

1119
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:48,239
Speaker 2: here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1120
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:52,200
Speaker 4: My boyfriend's family is unsupportive of our relationship.

1121
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 1: They got cut off.

1122
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:57,160
Speaker 4: Get out of here and trigger warning there is some

1123
00:49:57,680 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 4: involved in this story. So I'm Indian descent. My boyfriend

1124
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 4: and his family are Filipino. He and I have been

1125
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 4: together for about five months.

1126
00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:09,960
Speaker 1: Shout out to no.

1127
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:13,319
Speaker 6: Boy behind the camera Keon. He is half Filipino, so

1128
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:14,560
Speaker 6: he can half relate to this.

1129
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:16,160
Speaker 1: I cannot half related.

1130
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:19,319
Speaker 4: No. By the way, this comes from random person, and

1131
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:20,880
Speaker 4: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

1132
00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 4: the r slash past storytime separated it. So now, I'm

1133
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 4: very from a multicultural city, so I've dated outside my

1134
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,399
Speaker 4: race before, but it's never really been a problem until now.

1135
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 4: I had reservations about dating him because I knew his

1136
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 4: family was devout Catholic, his parents and younger sister, not him.

1137
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:38,279
Speaker 1: I had a feeling it would be difficult to.

1138
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 4: Find common ground with them, but I decided to go

1139
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 4: for it despite that because I like him and I

1140
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,400
Speaker 4: can honestly see a future with him if things between

1141
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:47,680
Speaker 4: us stay on track. I'm fine with the occasional ignorant

1142
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:50,760
Speaker 4: remark when it comes to spicy food cab drivers, convenience

1143
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:53,840
Speaker 4: store clerks, and whatever other Indian stereotypes there are. But

1144
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:56,960
Speaker 4: his family doesn't make the occasional dumb joke. They make

1145
00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 4: it personal, as though they want me to be uncomfort

1146
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:04,000
Speaker 4: blatant racial discrimination. The things his family has said to me,

1147
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:06,560
Speaker 4: I don't even know where to start. His mother and

1148
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:08,640
Speaker 4: sister are very subtle about it, but at the same

1149
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 4: time not really. I'm a little darker than them, which

1150
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:13,040
Speaker 4: I don't think is an issue at all, but to

1151
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:15,839
Speaker 4: them it is. They always make remarks about how dark

1152
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:18,640
Speaker 4: I am, how interesting it is that I'm still considered

1153
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:20,480
Speaker 4: pretty even though I'm dark, et cetera.

1154
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:23,880
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, what oh. I have a feeling about

1155
00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:25,359
Speaker 1: this Filipino family.

1156
00:51:25,440 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 4: Being Indiana, I've dealt with colorism within my own culture before,

1157
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:30,319
Speaker 4: so I know how to brush it aside and not

1158
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:33,240
Speaker 4: take it personally. But then his mother gave me face

1159
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:36,200
Speaker 4: cream and soape that's the most to make your skin lighter.

1160
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:39,880
Speaker 4: She basically wants me to bleach my skin lmao. My

1161
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,640
Speaker 4: boyfriend was really embarrassed when that happened and had to

1162
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:45,880
Speaker 4: talk with his mother about never doing anything like that again,

1163
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 4: and she listened. At first, but then it started again.

1164
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:51,040
Speaker 4: She her husband and their daughter treat me like I

1165
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:53,560
Speaker 4: grew up in a jungle or something. They just assume

1166
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:56,800
Speaker 4: my parents are uneducated and don't speak proper English because

1167
00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:59,520
Speaker 4: of our race. The truth is, my parents are lawyers

1168
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:02,160
Speaker 4: and have lived in Canada since the seventies. Their English

1169
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 4: is better than mine, and I've lived here my entire life.

1170
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:06,719
Speaker 4: But even if they were fresh off the boat, what

1171
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 4: right does that give anyone to judge them. This type

1172
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:12,880
Speaker 4: of treatment is common from wealthy and or upper middle class.

1173
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 4: I'm just going to say it white people. But his

1174
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:18,319
Speaker 4: parents don't fit that description at all. They're Filipino. They

1175
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:20,640
Speaker 4: run a few Filipino grocery stores in the city, and

1176
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 4: they went through their own struggles when they immigrated here

1177
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:26,680
Speaker 4: in the early nineties, So why attack another minority.

1178
00:52:26,719 --> 00:52:27,640
Speaker 1: It doesn't make sense.

1179
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 5: Also, you know hot take here?

1180
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:31,600
Speaker 1: Okay it?

1181
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 2: Oh please?

1182
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:36,880
Speaker 6: I do see this remarks on the discriminatory Also, I

1183
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:39,719
Speaker 6: feel like it's hierarchy. Whenever some people are better off

1184
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:42,040
Speaker 6: than other people, they just want to put other people down,

1185
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:43,840
Speaker 6: and I feel like they have the right to do

1186
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:46,720
Speaker 6: it instead of being kind and loving people.

1187
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:49,440
Speaker 4: So maybe they're just grasping at straws of how to insult.

1188
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:50,440
Speaker 5: I think so.

1189
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 6: I think they just like putting people down, and you know,

1190
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:55,920
Speaker 6: probably from things from the past. They were put down before,

1191
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:57,960
Speaker 6: so it feels like, you know, it's a natural sackle

1192
00:52:58,000 --> 00:52:59,839
Speaker 6: to put other people down, and it's such a hard

1193
00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:01,759
Speaker 6: thing to break in such a you know, messed up

1194
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:04,879
Speaker 6: world we live in, sure, but it's just so sad

1195
00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:07,000
Speaker 6: to see that it's happening in real time.

1196
00:53:07,239 --> 00:53:08,120
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, ugh.

1197
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:10,799
Speaker 4: It's clear that they would prefer that he ate a

1198
00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:13,440
Speaker 4: light skin Asian girl, and that's fine, but at this

1199
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:16,960
Speaker 4: point they've attacked my skin color, my family's financial background,

1200
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 4: my morals, my hygiene, and my intelligence all because I'm Indian.

1201
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:22,600
Speaker 1: And darker than them.

1202
00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:23,720
Speaker 3: Ah.

1203
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:25,799
Speaker 4: My boyfriend is on the verge of cutting them off,

1204
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:27,680
Speaker 4: and even though I do think it would be a

1205
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:29,880
Speaker 4: good wake up call for them, I feel bad because

1206
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:32,560
Speaker 4: they're still his family. His dad isn't that bad, but

1207
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:35,040
Speaker 4: I'm sure half the things his mother said is on

1208
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:37,799
Speaker 4: his dad's behalf. His sister is a nightmare, and I'm

1209
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:40,040
Speaker 4: pretty confident that she's a little jealous of me. I

1210
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:42,400
Speaker 4: do well for myself career wise, and I drive a

1211
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:45,279
Speaker 4: nice car, and I don't have solid evidence, but I'm

1212
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:47,120
Speaker 4: about ninety percent sure that she.

1213
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 1: Keyed my car on Christmas.

1214
00:53:49,160 --> 00:53:51,239
Speaker 4: I dropped by his parents' house that afternoon to pick

1215
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:53,279
Speaker 4: him up on the way to my parents' Christmas party.

1216
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:55,719
Speaker 4: He needed help loading some gifts into the trunk, so

1217
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:57,759
Speaker 4: I popped inside for a minute. His sister was in

1218
00:53:57,800 --> 00:53:59,920
Speaker 4: the driveway at the time fixing something in her car.

1219
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:02,239
Speaker 4: When I came back, she was gone, and there was

1220
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:05,080
Speaker 4: a huge scratch on my car that ran the entire

1221
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:08,759
Speaker 4: length of the passenger side. Someone had to obviously keep it,

1222
00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:11,600
Speaker 4: and I know for sure the scratch was not there before.

1223
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 4: I feel bad for automatically thinking she's responsible, but I

1224
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,080
Speaker 4: wouldn't put it past any of them. At this point,

1225
00:54:16,160 --> 00:54:18,440
Speaker 4: I haven't told my boyfriend the truth. I led him

1226
00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:20,600
Speaker 4: to believe that someone had keeped the car outside of

1227
00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:22,399
Speaker 4: my building. I don't want to put him in an

1228
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:25,480
Speaker 4: even worse position than he already is in, because honestly,

1229
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:26,920
Speaker 4: I'm not losing sleep over this.

1230
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:28,240
Speaker 1: I've dealt with before.

1231
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:30,600
Speaker 4: I had the crap punted out of me in high

1232
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:33,799
Speaker 4: school because of my race, so this isn't really that

1233
00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:36,440
Speaker 4: huge to me. More of an inconvenience than anything.

1234
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:39,919
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, yeah, because it seems like you come

1235
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:42,480
Speaker 6: to this, this thing happens before. I've already got the

1236
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:44,799
Speaker 6: crap beat out of me before. This is nothing. But

1237
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:47,720
Speaker 6: it's gonna have to come to you every Christmas. Every Christmas,

1238
00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:49,040
Speaker 6: you're gonna have to deal with this family if you're

1239
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 6: still with this guy. Yeah, unless he decides stick up

1240
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:53,560
Speaker 6: for you and be like, hey, I'm I'm out of here.

1241
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:55,000
Speaker 6: We're done, We're not doing this anymore.

1242
00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:56,560
Speaker 3: You don't have to put up with it just because

1243
00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:57,760
Speaker 3: you've had worse in the past.

1244
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:00,200
Speaker 4: I don't think he's seen this side of them, for

1245
00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:03,080
Speaker 4: he is more hurt by all of this than I am.

1246
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:05,799
Speaker 4: And I understand why he brought someone home, thinking his

1247
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:08,279
Speaker 4: family would be supportive of the relationship. But all they've

1248
00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:10,359
Speaker 4: done is say and do things to make me feel

1249
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:14,080
Speaker 4: uncomfortable and at times disgusting. He was in shock at first,

1250
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:15,759
Speaker 4: he didn't know how to react or what to do,

1251
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:18,440
Speaker 4: but he's pretty much reached his limit. I don't want

1252
00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:20,560
Speaker 4: to steer him in either direction. I want him to

1253
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 4: decide on his own so he doesn't end up presenting

1254
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:24,880
Speaker 4: me later. He's tried talking to them about it, but

1255
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:27,759
Speaker 4: they don't take his concerns seriously. What's worse than the

1256
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:30,160
Speaker 4: way they treat me is the way that they treat him.

1257
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:33,239
Speaker 4: He's their flesh and blood and they still disrespect.

1258
00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 3: Him like this.

1259
00:55:33,360 --> 00:55:35,960
Speaker 4: It makes me angry just thinking about it. Should I

1260
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:38,520
Speaker 4: tell him about the keying incident? Or should I just

1261
00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:40,319
Speaker 4: go with the flow and stay out of it. I'm

1262
00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:43,080
Speaker 4: interested to know if anyone else has experienced a situation

1263
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,040
Speaker 4: like this, and if so, how did you handle it?

1264
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:46,560
Speaker 4: Did the relationship stay afloat?

1265
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:47,080
Speaker 5: Angie?

1266
00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:49,319
Speaker 6: If my family didn't like you, would you want to

1267
00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:51,160
Speaker 6: come to Christmas with us?

1268
00:55:51,239 --> 00:55:52,920
Speaker 1: I would definitely not feel welcomed.

1269
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:55,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, absolutely not? Yeah, absolutely no.

1270
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:58,320
Speaker 6: I think you got to sit down, like, hey, boyfriend,

1271
00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:00,759
Speaker 6: I am not going to put up with all of

1272
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:04,239
Speaker 6: my holidays looking like this. I know, like I don't

1273
00:56:04,239 --> 00:56:07,320
Speaker 6: want my key to be card every Thanksgiving or Christmas?

1274
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:10,160
Speaker 5: And what are you gonna do about this? Yeah?

1275
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:10,759
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1276
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:12,439
Speaker 5: Are they gonna come off yeah, or at.

1277
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:14,400
Speaker 4: Least bring it up as like a possible thing, like

1278
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:16,120
Speaker 4: because I mean, it's hard because it looks like the

1279
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:18,279
Speaker 4: boyfriend is doing something which in a lot of the

1280
00:56:18,280 --> 00:56:20,279
Speaker 4: stories that we read, it's like the boyfriend is just

1281
00:56:20,680 --> 00:56:22,240
Speaker 4: you know, ignoring the problem.

1282
00:56:22,239 --> 00:56:22,880
Speaker 1: But he's not.

1283
00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:25,600
Speaker 4: He's like standing up to his parents, but they're.

1284
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:26,399
Speaker 1: Just dismissing him too.

1285
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:28,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, they're just out of this.

1286
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:31,799
Speaker 6: Is this relationship worth going no contact with that side

1287
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:34,520
Speaker 6: of the family. If not, might need a break up

1288
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:38,319
Speaker 6: or you know, kind of find other situations. But I'm

1289
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:40,840
Speaker 6: leading on either breaking up or he goes no contact.

1290
00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:42,880
Speaker 6: But that's huge ask for your partner.

1291
00:56:43,239 --> 00:56:45,640
Speaker 4: But anyway, there is an edit and an update here

1292
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:48,160
Speaker 4: edits things are getting ugly in the comments. There's no

1293
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:51,440
Speaker 4: reason to suggest an act of racial discrimination against his family.

1294
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:53,560
Speaker 1: Two wrongs don't make it right, et cetera.

1295
00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:56,440
Speaker 4: The issue is that his family is discriminatory, not that

1296
00:56:56,440 --> 00:56:58,480
Speaker 4: they're Filipino or that I'm.

1297
00:56:58,320 --> 00:57:00,480
Speaker 1: Dating down whatever the heck. That means.

1298
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:02,799
Speaker 4: I included their racial background in the OPI to give

1299
00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:05,319
Speaker 4: you an idea as to the social norms that could

1300
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:07,319
Speaker 4: very well play a part in all of this. I

1301
00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:09,520
Speaker 4: don't think I'm better than him or his family. Please

1302
00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:11,239
Speaker 4: keep that in mind. And with that, I think we

1303
00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:13,480
Speaker 4: should just roll right into the update.

1304
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:16,120
Speaker 5: Head first in a five foot deep pool.

1305
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:18,120
Speaker 4: Before the actual update, I'd like to touch on a

1306
00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:20,600
Speaker 4: few things boyfriend and I haven't been in a relationship

1307
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:23,520
Speaker 4: for long. It's only been five months, but we've known

1308
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:25,400
Speaker 4: each other for quite a while. We met two years

1309
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:27,840
Speaker 4: ago through mutual friends and went to the same parties,

1310
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:29,920
Speaker 4: get togethers, et cetera. So there is a level of

1311
00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:33,040
Speaker 4: history and understanding there. I'm from Vancouver. Over here, there

1312
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 4: isn't much of a difference between the average South Indian

1313
00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 4: and the average Filipino in terms of the socioeconomic scale.

1314
00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:42,080
Speaker 4: We're pretty much the same. Doesn't matter either way, just

1315
00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:45,400
Speaker 4: painting a more vivid picture. Our parents have never been introduced.

1316
00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:47,880
Speaker 4: There have been a few occasions where they could have met,

1317
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:50,000
Speaker 4: but I've tried my best to avoid it for now.

1318
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:52,400
Speaker 4: If I annoy his family so much, I can only

1319
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:55,160
Speaker 4: imagine how bad my lawyer parents would annoy them.

1320
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:57,480
Speaker 1: They annoy me half the time. Hahaha.

1321
00:57:57,840 --> 00:58:00,200
Speaker 4: Maybe it wasn't clear in the original post, but I'm

1322
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:03,120
Speaker 4: not around his family every day or even every other day.

1323
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:05,360
Speaker 4: I'd say about once or twice a month on average.

1324
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:07,560
Speaker 4: And he doesn't live with them, He has his own place.

1325
00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:09,520
Speaker 4: The reason I picked him up from their house on

1326
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:12,680
Speaker 4: Christmas is because he was staying there over the holidays.

1327
00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:13,800
Speaker 3: Last but not least.

1328
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:17,400
Speaker 4: Boyfriend has been sticking up for me throughout this whole ordeal.

1329
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:20,760
Speaker 4: He hasn't once led anything slide. I know for sure

1330
00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:23,240
Speaker 4: he would not have letting the keying slide had I

1331
00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:26,000
Speaker 4: told him from the jump. For that reason, I kept

1332
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:27,840
Speaker 4: it quiet. The last thing I wanted was for him

1333
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:30,720
Speaker 4: to confront her without evidence. What if she didn't actually

1334
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:32,720
Speaker 4: do it. I mean, I'm pretty sure she did, but

1335
00:58:32,920 --> 00:58:35,400
Speaker 4: still they don't get along to begin with. His sister

1336
00:58:35,480 --> 00:58:37,680
Speaker 4: has always been very competitive with him in terms of

1337
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:39,880
Speaker 4: who looks better to their parents. I'm sure that's a

1338
00:58:39,880 --> 00:58:42,080
Speaker 4: part of the reason that she has taken their parents' side.

1339
00:58:42,120 --> 00:58:44,720
Speaker 4: She wants their approval. Maybe that said, I ended up

1340
00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:47,280
Speaker 4: telling him about the kying incident last night, regardless of

1341
00:58:47,280 --> 00:58:49,760
Speaker 4: how weird it felt to talk about something that happened

1342
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:52,720
Speaker 4: a month ago. And the funny thing is he wasn't shocked.

1343
00:58:52,880 --> 00:58:56,080
Speaker 5: Oh no, oh no, that's just my mom. You know,

1344
00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:59,480
Speaker 5: we're all your tires filled up? Okay, good, good god?

1345
00:58:59,520 --> 00:59:00,680
Speaker 5: Oh okay?

1346
00:59:01,440 --> 00:59:02,520
Speaker 3: So doshabull of that.

1347
00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:06,200
Speaker 4: Even worse, he told me he hand suspected as much

1348
00:59:06,240 --> 00:59:09,000
Speaker 4: at the time, and had actually asked his sister about it.

1349
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,840
Speaker 4: A day or two after Christmas, she flat out denied it,

1350
00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:14,240
Speaker 4: and although he didn't believe her, there wasn't much he

1351
00:59:14,280 --> 00:59:16,560
Speaker 4: could do. I haven't seen his family since the holidays,

1352
00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:18,280
Speaker 4: but a cousin of his with whom I went to

1353
00:59:18,360 --> 00:59:21,280
Speaker 4: high school and have known for a really long time,

1354
00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:24,160
Speaker 4: she inmighted beat her engagement in her. I suspect I'll

1355
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:27,000
Speaker 4: see his sister and parents there. Kind of unavoidable, really,

1356
00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:28,880
Speaker 4: but yeah, we'll see how that goes.

1357
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:33,040
Speaker 1: And by the way, what's absolutely.

1358
00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:36,000
Speaker 4: Unavoidable is the fact that we have full episodes, more

1359
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:39,480
Speaker 4: stories just like this one on Spotify. iHeartRadio, Apple Podcast,

1360
00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:42,960
Speaker 4: whatever your favorite podcast app is. Just search okay, storytime.

1361
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:44,760
Speaker 4: I was on Audible the other day and I searched

1362
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:46,040
Speaker 4: us up and sure enough, we were there.

1363
00:59:46,680 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 1: We were there, were audible, We're run audible.

1364
00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:51,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a little bit more into the story, but

1365
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 4: what are our thoughts?

1366
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:54,200
Speaker 5: So I didn't get anything from that.

1367
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 4: It was kind of just like adding more to it's

1368
00:59:57,880 --> 00:59:58,760
Speaker 4: like what we already know.

1369
00:59:58,920 --> 01:00:01,240
Speaker 5: I was hoping some threat down, you know, he's gonna

1370
01:00:01,280 --> 01:00:01,960
Speaker 5: cut off family.

1371
01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:02,240
Speaker 2: Noah.

1372
01:00:02,320 --> 01:00:05,280
Speaker 5: I was like, basically, hey, mom, did you keep your car?

1373
01:00:05,600 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 2: Is its?

1374
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:06,440
Speaker 5: Hey?

1375
01:00:06,480 --> 01:00:09,840
Speaker 6: Sister, did you get your car No, Well, dang, all right,

1376
01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:11,120
Speaker 6: I guess I'm gonna see him soon.

1377
01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:11,919
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1378
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:14,440
Speaker 4: I feel like op is going about this in a

1379
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:17,480
Speaker 4: good way, though I think it definitely would come across

1380
01:00:17,520 --> 01:00:19,800
Speaker 4: like it would probably make things worse if she was

1381
01:00:20,280 --> 01:00:23,240
Speaker 4: like the sister did it, like everyone get get her,

1382
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:26,160
Speaker 4: get him, get him everyone, And then like, you know,

1383
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:27,040
Speaker 4: she didn't say anything.

1384
01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:28,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, she knows she's not the problem.

1385
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:31,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, and the boyfriend knew anyway. So it's like the

1386
01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:34,400
Speaker 4: problem is already being addressed, even though it's not solved.

1387
01:00:34,560 --> 01:00:38,360
Speaker 4: It being addressed, but she doesn't have any like part

1388
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:38,640
Speaker 4: in it.

1389
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:40,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, she's just the victim.

1390
01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:42,160
Speaker 1: But there is a little bit more to the story.

1391
01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:44,480
Speaker 4: So in the meantime, he told me he's one hundred

1392
01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:46,200
Speaker 4: percent done with his family's crap.

1393
01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:48,120
Speaker 1: No family dinners or visits.

1394
01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:50,640
Speaker 4: According to him, the only way to get the message

1395
01:00:50,640 --> 01:00:53,120
Speaker 4: across is to do something like this. He's tried talking

1396
01:00:53,160 --> 01:00:56,520
Speaker 4: sense into them multiple times, but they don't care. Hopefully

1397
01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:58,800
Speaker 4: all goes well, and thank you so much for all

1398
01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:01,480
Speaker 4: your advice. And it's a shaking my head. This is

1399
01:01:01,520 --> 01:01:04,400
Speaker 4: in India versus Philippines. If you want to take it there,

1400
01:01:04,840 --> 01:01:07,560
Speaker 4: kindly f off I know plenty of Filipinos who are

1401
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:10,120
Speaker 4: amazing people, and my boyfriend is obviously one of them.

1402
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:14,760
Speaker 1: So is key on. Let's go.

1403
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:24,520
Speaker 4: Oh and someone here does in the Philippines double edits.

1404
01:01:24,680 --> 01:01:27,760
Speaker 4: Let's not crap on an entire nation. Yeah, that's the

1405
01:01:27,800 --> 01:01:29,800
Speaker 4: basis of this entire issue.

1406
01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:31,040
Speaker 1: That people judge a whole group of.

1407
01:01:30,960 --> 01:01:34,520
Speaker 4: People based on a few crappy encounters. To any Filipinos out.

1408
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:37,439
Speaker 1: There, y'all are great. Your spaghetti is bomb, it is,

1409
01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:38,280
Speaker 1: it's so good.

1410
01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:41,120
Speaker 4: Do not take the negative comments to heart. Much love,

1411
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:42,360
Speaker 4: and that's the end of that story.