WEBVTT - Dwyane Wade ON: Letting Go of Validation to Become Your Best Self 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:02.719 I think I understand that my purpose is is bigger 0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:06.400 and whatever it is, whatever is on my heart, whatever 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:10.200 my experiences are, I'm going to speak out on them. 0:00:10.320 --> 0:00:13.040 To be in a position where you have resources, you know, 0:00:13.039 --> 0:00:16.400 where you have connections, where you have finances, where you 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:18.720 where you have all these things, and then you can 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:20.720 get a little bit more into it and not just 0:00:20.840 --> 0:00:24.119 be a voice. Now you can be an actor, participant 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:34.400 in the change. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:37.640 the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to 0:00:37.640 --> 0:00:39.760 each and every single one of you that come back 0:00:39.800 --> 0:00:43.720 every week to listen, learn and grow. And I am 0:00:43.760 --> 0:00:46.400 so excited to be talking to you today. I can't 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:49.640 believe it. My new book, Eight Rules of Love is 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:53.000 out and I cannot wait to share it with you. 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:56.240 I am so so excited for you to read this book, 0:00:56.360 --> 0:00:58.760 for you to listen to this book. I read the audiobook. 0:00:58.920 --> 0:01:01.360 If you haven't got it all ready, make sure you 0:01:01.440 --> 0:01:04.880 go to eight Rules of Love dot com. It's dedicated 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:08.360 to anyone who's trying to find, keep, or let go 0:01:08.480 --> 0:01:11.000 of love. So if you've got friends that are dating, 0:01:11.240 --> 0:01:14.200 broken up, or struggling with love, make sure you grab 0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:16.679 this book. And I'd love to invite you to come 0:01:16.680 --> 0:01:20.360 and see me for my global tour Love Rules. Go 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:24.720 to Jay shettytour dot com to learn more information about tickets, 0:01:25.040 --> 0:01:28.399 VIP experiences, and more. I can't wait to see you 0:01:28.480 --> 0:01:31.480 this year. Now, you know that I'm always seeking out 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:35.760 new stories ideas people who have an incredible purpose in 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:39.479 their life, have had immense success, but are sharing their 0:01:39.520 --> 0:01:44.040 story in a really beautiful, powerful way. And today's guest 0:01:44.480 --> 0:01:47.039 is going to blow your mind. I'm speaking about the 0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:50.720 one and only Dwayne Wade, of course, known from being 0:01:50.720 --> 0:01:53.880 an American professional basketball player, one of the best players 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:57.360 of his era, who won three NBA Championships as a 0:01:57.400 --> 0:02:00.680 member of the Miami Heat. He was a third time 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:04.600 NBA All Star, an eight time member of the All 0:02:04.800 --> 0:02:08.079 NBA Team, and a three time member of the All 0:02:08.320 --> 0:02:12.600 Defensive Team. And he recently released a photographic memoir with 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:15.120 more than a hundred photos from his life on and 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:18.359 off The quote and this book, I was just saying 0:02:18.360 --> 0:02:20.800 to Dwayne Dayne, welcome to the show. Is a work 0:02:20.800 --> 0:02:23.760 of art. Like it's so it's so beautiful. I mean 0:02:23.800 --> 0:02:28.400 the pictures, the choices, the words in between. It is 0:02:28.440 --> 0:02:30.560 a work of art. And I want to congratulate you, 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:36.080 Dwane on this incredible achievement and welcome Tom purpose Jay. 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:40.440 Thank you for the introduction. Man, that was listen you 0:02:40.840 --> 0:02:43.040 are you open for the Hall of Fame? Yeah, twenty 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:49.440 twenty three possibly that was that was amazing. Yeah, that 0:02:49.480 --> 0:02:53.000 would be an honor. That would be an honor, my honor. 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:55.440 So you you just let me know where I need 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:58.600 to be. I will be there all as good. Well, 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:01.359 you know, as we talked about, um, you know, this 0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:04.280 is this is my art. This is my photographer about 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:07.840 Metellus arts. This is just intensely who was a cowright 0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:10.239 on this this is his art as well. And so 0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:13.680 to be able to present a book that looks like art, 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:17.600 it shows you how much care and how much work 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:21.160 went into this, this project and this um you know, 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:23.760 this so something that's so personal for me. So thank 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:26.680 you for saying that. Yeah. Absolutely, absolutely, and I can't 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:29.359 wait for everyone who's listening and watching. I highly recommend 0:03:29.360 --> 0:03:32.519 you go and grab a copy. Whether you're a basketball 0:03:32.520 --> 0:03:34.760 fan or not, there is so much on and off 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:37.320 the court in this book that you're going to benefit 0:03:37.360 --> 0:03:39.480 so much from it. To Dwayne, let's let's dive right in. 0:03:40.320 --> 0:03:43.880 I want to start by asking you, when you're compiling 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:47.440 a book like this, when you're looking at pictures old 0:03:47.520 --> 0:03:51.200 and new, what is it doing for you emotionally? Like, 0:03:51.280 --> 0:03:53.800 tell me about not the physical journey of compiling, but 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:56.200 the emotional journey of putting a book together like this 0:03:56.840 --> 0:03:59.800 for me, like going through these photos, there's some very 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:03.560 person who photos inside this book. You know this, you know, 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:05.920 this is me trying to show Jay the human side 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:08.120 of me. You know, as someone who's a public figure, 0:04:08.640 --> 0:04:11.440 sometimes the human side of you get lost. And so 0:04:11.480 --> 0:04:14.320 what I wanted to capture is that that that part 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:17.039 of me. And so I'm able to go into these 0:04:17.040 --> 0:04:20.279 photos and some of them, you know, it showcased my childhood, 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:23.200 you know, whether it's showing up the complex that I 0:04:23.200 --> 0:04:25.880 grew up in on fifty nine and Prairie, or whether 0:04:25.880 --> 0:04:28.279 it's showing my kids or whatever it is. I'm able 0:04:28.279 --> 0:04:30.640 to go right back into that moment and I'm able 0:04:30.640 --> 0:04:34.040 to kind of relive some of those things. And you know, 0:04:34.320 --> 0:04:36.840 I love that. I love going back and remembering little 0:04:36.920 --> 0:04:39.279 Duane and the promises that he made and the dreams 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:41.599 that he had. I love going back and revisiting it. 0:04:41.839 --> 0:04:45.240 When when you were capturing all these memories since the 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:49.240 beginning of your career, did you ever have any idea 0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:51.120 that it was going to go this well and be 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:54.839 this great? And like, what was the process when? Because 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:57.760 I always feel like, you know, now everyone's lives are 0:04:57.800 --> 0:05:01.520 documented because of social media and video and content has 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:04.719 become so easy and cheap and free. But you know, 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:07.880 when you started documenting, it's like no one knew where 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:09.920 this was gonna go. How where did you feel it 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:12.600 was gonna go? I had no clue. And that's the 0:05:13.640 --> 0:05:17.200 That's the beauty of life as well, is the unknown. 0:05:17.600 --> 0:05:21.400 And so the only thing I knew was be a 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:25.640 good person, work hard, treat others the way that you 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:27.359 want to be treated and you want others to treat 0:05:27.560 --> 0:05:30.720 you know, your loved ones. Work hard, work hard. You know. 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:34.080 I just knew these small, these small things in life 0:05:34.080 --> 0:05:36.120 that I carry with me and I try to put 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:39.040 that in everything I did. And you know, I think 0:05:39.040 --> 0:05:41.520 Will Smith said it, and I'm gonna mess it up, 0:05:41.560 --> 0:05:45.560 but he said, you work hard every day, and you 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:48.320 get up every day and you just work hard and 0:05:48.400 --> 0:05:50.880 you mess around and you end up having a good life, 0:05:51.320 --> 0:05:54.200 you know, because just every day you choosing to work hard, 0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:57.000 and so I worked hard every day and I messed 0:05:57.000 --> 0:06:01.160 around and had a good life and a career. Yeah, 0:06:01.200 --> 0:06:03.520 a great A great career, man, a great career. And 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:07.120 now you you mentioned in the book. I love this, 0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:09.560 and I love even how you've structured the book. So 0:06:09.880 --> 0:06:12.760 for anyone who hasn't got the book yet, the book 0:06:12.920 --> 0:06:15.960 is structured in the same way a game is structured. 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:19.120 So you've got pregame, first quarter, second quarter, halftime, third 0:06:19.120 --> 0:06:22.160 and fourth and post game, which I love. I love 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:25.120 that thought of thought process and getting into your mindset 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:28.000 and your life in that way. One of the most 0:06:28.000 --> 0:06:30.600 beautiful things you mentioned is that in the book that 0:06:30.720 --> 0:06:35.479 every tip off you always close your eyes, bow your 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:40.000 head and you talk to God. And when I you know, 0:06:40.040 --> 0:06:41.920 when I when I read that, I was thinking, Wow, 0:06:41.960 --> 0:06:44.120 that is so special to be doing that in a 0:06:44.240 --> 0:06:47.440 tip off, which is like, you know, there's stress, there's pressure, 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:52.040 there's the fans, there's you know, everything's like quite heightened 0:06:52.080 --> 0:06:54.119 at that point, but you're able to close your eyes, 0:06:54.440 --> 0:06:56.680 bow your head and talk to God. I wanted to 0:06:56.720 --> 0:07:00.200 ask you, what do you say? Why has that been 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:04.000 an important routine for you? Yeah? Jay, it goes back 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:07.920 to you know my childhood, I'm not I'm I look 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:10.160 at myself as spiritual. I don't look at myself as 0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:12.720 as Christian or you know, any other terms. I look 0:07:12.760 --> 0:07:15.559 at myself as a spiritual person I felt. I've always 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:18.840 had a person relationship with the version of who I 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:21.600 feel my God is um since a very young age, 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:26.520 and I've always communicated very well with him. And He's 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:28.760 a hymn to me could be a hurt of someone else, 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:33.560 and so I've never lost sight of that. And and 0:07:33.640 --> 0:07:36.840 for me growing up as a young kid who who 0:07:36.880 --> 0:07:38.880 got a lot of things put in his path to 0:07:38.880 --> 0:07:42.360 try to stop him from getting to where I am now, 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:48.040 and knowing throughout throughout that process, my faith was so strong. 0:07:48.200 --> 0:07:50.600 You know, you know my wed number three probably because 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:54.760 of the Father of the Southern Holy Spirit. And at 0:07:54.800 --> 0:07:57.120 that moment before a game, I've done it since I've 0:07:57.120 --> 0:07:59.760 been since I started playing basketball. Is I always take 0:07:59.800 --> 0:08:03.960 him and just be thankful. I'm thankful for the places 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:06.480 that I'm allowed to go. I'm thankful for the places 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:09.600 that my God has taken me. I remember being little 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:13.960 Dwayne crying, going to bed with no food in my stomach, 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:17.320 you know, just crying trying, you know, asking God to 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:20.640 allow me to be the one to help get my 0:08:20.720 --> 0:08:24.200 family out of you know, poverty, and to be in 0:08:24.240 --> 0:08:26.800 that situation, to be on an NBA court, and to 0:08:26.880 --> 0:08:29.760 look around before every game and see twenty thousand fans, 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:32.520 see a little kid that's somewhere with your jersey, or 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:34.600 just trying to get a glimpse in a moment like 0:08:34.679 --> 0:08:36.600 to understand that you're one of the best players in 0:08:36.640 --> 0:08:39.720 this game. I'm thankful, and so before every tip off, 0:08:39.720 --> 0:08:42.520 I just wanted to express how thankful I was to 0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:45.960 my God. Yeah, that's beautiful, man. I love that as 0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:49.600 a centering and guiding principle for each and every one 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:51.840 of us, that even in that moment, you're able to 0:08:52.240 --> 0:08:56.000 have that stillness internally to set that intention and you know, 0:08:56.040 --> 0:08:58.480 whatever it means to you. I appreciate that that it's 0:08:59.360 --> 0:09:02.360 you making sense of what that word, what that feeling 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:06.040 means to you. It's not about any other external definition, 0:09:06.920 --> 0:09:09.760 but about your own. I wondered, did you ever talk 0:09:09.800 --> 0:09:12.640 to your God after the game or during the game, 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:19.719 the game, throughout the entire game, all the time, man, 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:25.080 all the time. Do you ever remember a specific game 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:28.760 or a specific moment where your conversation with God was 0:09:28.760 --> 0:09:31.720 was interesting, or that we could dive into that that moment. 0:09:32.679 --> 0:09:35.200 I mean, let's let's pick any Let's pick losing Game 0:09:35.280 --> 0:09:39.560 two or the NBA Finals in twenty eleven. Up, I 0:09:39.640 --> 0:09:41.680 think fifteen points, you know what I mean, in the 0:09:41.720 --> 0:09:44.959 fourth quarter, let's take that. You're like, ah, what's up? 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:49.719 You know what I mean? Like you have conversations all 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:53.760 the time, but you know, ultimately, um, you know, for me, 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:57.320 it's just always been about like, look, look, look where 0:09:57.320 --> 0:10:01.880 I am. Like, you know, and I think sometimes you know, 0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:04.599 going through the process, Jay, like you lose yourself a 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:09.120 little bit, you lose sight of like important you know, principles, 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:13.320 important things. And I was and I'm one of those 0:10:13.360 --> 0:10:15.960 people who forget, you know, at moments. And then so 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:18.040 when I would try to always bring myself back to 0:10:18.080 --> 0:10:19.959 the moment, even if we lost some finals, even if 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:22.720 someone hit a game winner, even if I played terrible, 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:25.280 you know, you're trying not to question, You're trying not 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:28.080 to ask why. It's a part of the journey. And 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:31.440 so I tried as much as possible to stay off God, 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:36.400 get off his case. I love them. I love that 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:39.160 One of the things you talk a lot about in 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:41.920 the book. That comes through with the images and pictures 0:10:42.040 --> 0:10:45.720 is you know the foundation you had through coaching and 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:47.280 the people you add in your life. And you say 0:10:47.280 --> 0:10:50.200 something beautiful, you say, as a professional athlete, you have 0:10:50.320 --> 0:10:53.800 to trust a lot of people with your body. And 0:10:54.200 --> 0:10:57.160 I thought that this was fascinating because you know, as 0:10:57.200 --> 0:10:59.320 an athlete, of course you have trained your coaches, and 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:02.920 even in our lots, we trust people with parts of ourselves, 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:06.600 whether it's our mind, our body, our life friendship. How 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:09.440 did you know in the beginning or how did you 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:12.959 develop an approach to finding out who you could trust 0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:17.160 with your body and your career versus those you couldn't trust. 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:20.600 Was there a way that you sensed or started to 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:24.920 learn and know how to make those choices and decisions. Yeah, 0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:28.040 I think it's gut. You know, if you don't have 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:31.080 someone in your life that can help you know, put 0:11:31.120 --> 0:11:35.160 you with certain people people and like a big mentor 0:11:35.280 --> 0:11:37.439 throughout your life, or a big or father figure who 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:40.120 has certain relationships and all these things, then a lot 0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:42.240 of it is going to be on your your gut feeling. 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:45.400 And so for me, I've been one of the luckiest 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:51.040 human beings in my eyesight for the sense of having 0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:54.720 people put in his life that have really made huge impacts, 0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:57.160 who have really been there for the good and not 0:11:57.280 --> 0:12:00.679 for the bad. And it just really helped me, you know, 0:12:00.920 --> 0:12:03.040 And I'm not that I have not always been the 0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:05.480 most confident man in the world. And to have all 0:12:05.520 --> 0:12:08.120 these individuals who have been there to be able to 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:09.920 give me the nudge to be able to push me 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:12.520 back up, for me to have the common sense to 0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:15.480 allow them to do it is the reason that you 0:12:15.600 --> 0:12:18.440 and I right now are on the number one help 0:12:18.520 --> 0:12:23.160 podcast in the world because of it. Right So, I'm 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:27.800 very appreciative of everybody alone his journey that really nudge 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:30.280 me and lift me up. Yeah. No, I love that, 0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:33.840 and I think that's so important. I think what I 0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:36.000 love is then the book, you talk so much about 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:38.160 the coaches, the mentors, the people who nudged you along, 0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:41.520 the players that you work alongside. There's this brilliant picture 0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:44.840 of I believe it's with you and Lebron James, and 0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:47.520 you're just saying that it was from a workout where 0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:50.200 you both just went fall out on each other and 0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:52.840 just encourage each other to just you know, keep pushing 0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:56.320 on and keep going on. Can you walk us through 0:12:56.920 --> 0:13:01.880 the hardest workout or the hardest pregame that you ever did, 0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:04.080 mentally or physically. Could you just walk us through what 0:13:04.120 --> 0:13:06.800 it's really like? Because I always feel as someone like 0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:10.320 I'm not an athlete, I don't really know how hard 0:13:10.400 --> 0:13:14.040 that is physically. Could you walk us through that? I 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:17.600 guess the easiest way to say it is we all have. 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:21.240 We all reach a point in whatever we're doing where 0:13:21.240 --> 0:13:23.720 we reach that boiling point where we feel we have 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:27.520 nothing else to give. And as an athlete, you reach 0:13:27.600 --> 0:13:32.120 that point constantly, And the hardest part is it is 0:13:32.160 --> 0:13:35.640 pushing yourself and allowing others to push you to give 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:38.280 more than you know that you have to give. And 0:13:38.320 --> 0:13:41.040 it's so easy to quit on yourself. It's so easy 0:13:41.040 --> 0:13:44.280 to say I have nothing left. But when you go 0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:46.480 past that level and you go to it, you tap 0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:49.000 into another place that you didn't think you had. You 0:13:49.000 --> 0:13:51.040 didn't know you had another fifteen reps, You thought you 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:54.120 was maxed out a team, and you push yourself to there. 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:57.760 Now you've shown yourself that you have another level, and 0:13:57.880 --> 0:14:00.400 that another level helps you in those moments, right that 0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:02.760 another level helps you in a fourth quarter when everyone's 0:14:02.760 --> 0:14:06.360 tired because you know you've went to another level, and 0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:10.319 so just man the whole training aspect of it. Lebron 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:14.240 and I being two great players and being two great friends, 0:14:14.760 --> 0:14:17.520 pushed it each other. You know, that photo was right 0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:21.440 before Game one of the twenty thirteen NBA Finals, and 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:25.080 we knew that it was gonna be on us to 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:27.520 lead this team, and we knew we were about to 0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:29.080 be in a dog fight because we were playing at 0:14:29.120 --> 0:14:31.280 San Antonio Spurs, and he was going to test us 0:14:31.280 --> 0:14:35.040 physically and mentally and emotionally in all the fields, and 0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:38.880 so that was getting ourselves stealed and prepared for what 0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:43.000 the series was about to hand us. Yeah, that's amazing. 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:45.960 I love hearing that because you're so right. We always 0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:49.320 quit on ourselves. I mean, I remember the closest thing 0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:51.960 I can compare is just when I lived as a monk. 0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:56.640 You know, you'd always think that you'd meditated enough for 0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:59.600 you'd pushed yourself, and our teachers would push us a 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:01.360 little more, a little more, a little more, and then 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:04.960 you get today where you meditated for like eight hours 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:07.440 and you're like, oh wow, Like I didn't think I 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:09.680 could do eight minutes if I was left to do 0:15:09.720 --> 0:15:12.400 it on my own, and you start to realize the 0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:16.080 value of association, the value of those minds around you 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:19.440 that help you see more than yourself, and that really 0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:22.520 leads to you. Know you said about Tom creen you 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:25.800 said he believed that I could be something more than 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:30.000 just a basketball player. And when I hear that, I'm 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:33.560 like wow, Like when people around us see us becoming 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:37.040 more than we see for ourselves. What were some of 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:40.520 the lessons you believe that he taught you off the court. 0:15:40.720 --> 0:15:43.000 What were some of those And why was it so 0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:46.280 important for you to see yourself as more than a 0:15:46.320 --> 0:15:51.280 basketball player. I don't know why it was. I just 0:15:51.400 --> 0:15:55.560 know it just always has been and it always has 0:15:55.680 --> 0:15:58.840 mattered for me. And I don't know the reason, Jay, 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:01.720 But Tom Crean came to my house, and this is 0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:03.680 something that he probably did. You know, this was his 0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:05.440 first year been a head coach, but this is something 0:16:05.480 --> 0:16:08.800 he probably seen and had done before. But when he 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:10.440 came to my house and he resented me with a 0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:13.880 cap and gown, at that moment, no one ever talked 0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:17.920 to me as as an inner city kid about graduating college. 0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:21.000 I just started thinking about going to college. It was 0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:23.760 not like no like, it's not a lot of people 0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:27.480 my family who have graduated college. This is not a thing. 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:30.640 This is not something that you just do. So when 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.240 he presented that to me, at that moment, I started 0:16:33.240 --> 0:16:36.040 looking at him differently. It wasn't just about what I 0:16:36.040 --> 0:16:37.720 can do for him on a basketball floor. He was 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:40.360 talking about my future. He was talking about me actually 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:44.480 building something bigger than just a basketball player. And that continued, 0:16:44.640 --> 0:16:46.440 you know, being in college and having a son at 0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:49.920 the age of nineteen years old, you know, he became 0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:53.200 a huge figure in my life as a father, as 0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:56.560 an example, and just a shoulder to cry on and 0:16:56.640 --> 0:17:01.239 lean on, you know, and so roll my those mentors 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:05.240 obviously filed the figures, and these people are so important. 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:08.240 Um you know, alone this journey of life for so 0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:10.400 many little kids, and I know so many little kids 0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:14.080 like Dwyane Wade that's growing up in broken homes and 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:18.760 um you know, inv in poverty, um where not a 0:17:18.760 --> 0:17:21.639 lot of resources, not a lot of opportunities. They need something, 0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:24.680 they need someone, And to be able to have those 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:26.920 individuals in my life is the only reason once again 0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:28.720 that I'm able to sit up here and even have 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:31.560 a voice of a microphone to even talk about it. Yeah, 0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:33.880 when when you look at that time when and you've 0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:36.119 referenced in this interview and of course in the book, 0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:38.639 but like you know, growing up in poverty, growing up 0:17:38.680 --> 0:17:44.240 with very little opportunities or resources, not having those options, 0:17:44.359 --> 0:17:48.800 What was the first time you felt that there could 0:17:48.840 --> 0:17:51.160 be more, that you could do something with your life. 0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:53.600 What was it? Who was it that right in that 0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:55.760 very moment, in that beginning, when you were in that 0:17:55.800 --> 0:17:58.800 pain and in that struggle, that made that feel possible. 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:04.119 You know, Jay, I've always felt it, like I did. 0:18:04.280 --> 0:18:07.199 I didn't know what it was, but I've always I 0:18:07.280 --> 0:18:11.400 just never felt like I've I don't want to say 0:18:11.400 --> 0:18:16.160 that I fit in. I just always felt that I 0:18:16.240 --> 0:18:19.880 thought differently, and I looked at things differently. That's it. 0:18:20.080 --> 0:18:22.640 You know, Like even a game of basketball, how as 0:18:22.640 --> 0:18:24.760 a young kid, how I was able to read the 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:28.120 game and knew that the ball is either going inside 0:18:28.200 --> 0:18:30.679 or it's going along in perimeter. Okay, that's it. The 0:18:30.720 --> 0:18:34.200 game is easy, like right, like I just I just 0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:37.400 you know, it's just as it's a part of God's 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:40.679 you know, uh and my parents you know, to getting 0:18:40.680 --> 0:18:43.880 together to be able to create create this right, and 0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:47.359 so I always had that looking around, like this is 0:18:47.400 --> 0:18:50.000 not it, this will not be it for me. Like 0:18:50.400 --> 0:18:53.879 even now I'm I love life and my family and 0:18:53.920 --> 0:18:56.359 everything we're accomplishing, I still look around and I'm like, 0:18:56.840 --> 0:19:00.720 this is for now, this is not it. It's it's more. 0:19:00.880 --> 0:19:04.399 It's more living to do, it's more life. And I 0:19:04.440 --> 0:19:06.800 just didn't know how to get it done. Then I 0:19:06.840 --> 0:19:08.360 just know how to get it done now because I've 0:19:08.400 --> 0:19:11.359 been through it all. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, and and and 0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:14.400 again what you just said is it's that perfect balance 0:19:14.440 --> 0:19:18.960 between being present now in what there is, but recognizing 0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:22.320 there's more and being open to that. Right. It's like 0:19:22.600 --> 0:19:24.560 when I hear you speak and when I'm looking at 0:19:24.600 --> 0:19:28.680 your book, there's deep presence, like when you go back 0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:31.800 to these memories in the book, like you're fully absorbed 0:19:31.840 --> 0:19:35.080 and immersed, like we're there with you. You do that beautifully. 0:19:35.280 --> 0:19:38.679 But at the same time, you have this expansive vision 0:19:38.800 --> 0:19:41.399 that there's more. There's more to do, more to achieve, 0:19:41.480 --> 0:19:44.159 more to grow, more to learn. And I feel like 0:19:44.200 --> 0:19:46.720 that balance is really rare. You don't you know, people 0:19:46.720 --> 0:19:48.680 are either in the future or they're in the present, 0:19:48.760 --> 0:19:51.879 but being able to go between the two is a 0:19:51.920 --> 0:19:55.119 really powerful skill and knowing that you know you've been 0:19:55.160 --> 0:19:58.920 able to spot those patterns and see that from the beginning. Yeah, 0:19:58.960 --> 0:20:01.680 what do you think was one of the best decisions 0:20:01.720 --> 0:20:06.280 you ever made in your personal life or professional life 0:20:06.480 --> 0:20:11.200 that made a huge impact or decision in your overall life. Well, 0:20:11.280 --> 0:20:14.480 I think, going back to the last point, in this 0:20:14.520 --> 0:20:18.199 point I wanted to make was the ability to be 0:20:18.280 --> 0:20:24.320 able to appreciate the past, enjoy and really focus in 0:20:24.480 --> 0:20:28.879 living the now and not be satisfied with that, and 0:20:29.880 --> 0:20:33.000 be able to visualize and look towards the future. And 0:20:33.160 --> 0:20:35.640 having all three of those, my mind is always moving 0:20:35.680 --> 0:20:37.760 and I'm going from I'm going back here, and I'm 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:41.359 coming here and then I'm going there right and to 0:20:41.560 --> 0:20:46.080 be I thank God and I thank everybody for the 0:20:46.160 --> 0:20:51.120 ability to have openness, like to be open. If you're 0:20:51.160 --> 0:20:54.080 open in this world, you will have experiences that you 0:20:54.200 --> 0:20:58.600 never could have imagined. But if you're close minded, you 0:20:58.640 --> 0:21:01.000 know you're going to live in a bout. And I 0:21:01.080 --> 0:21:02.840 just never wanted to live in a box. And so 0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:08.159 my decision was to be open to do to my 0:21:08.280 --> 0:21:12.520 first in issue, reaction is out of fear, and it's 0:21:12.520 --> 0:21:14.919 out of something that I don't I've never experienced before, 0:21:15.160 --> 0:21:17.080 or I may not have a lot of knowledge on 0:21:17.200 --> 0:21:19.200 so I'm immediately going to be fearful and say no, 0:21:19.640 --> 0:21:21.520 I don't want to do it because it's uncomfortable. Who 0:21:21.600 --> 0:21:26.159 wants to look stupid? Who wants to be wrong? But somewhere, somehow, 0:21:26.160 --> 0:21:28.520 alone his journey, someone gave me a smack me on 0:21:28.560 --> 0:21:31.639 the head and said, here, take this openness and go 0:21:31.720 --> 0:21:35.640 off and live life. I love that. I love that man, 0:21:35.680 --> 0:21:38.879 and I hope everyone who's listening and watching right now 0:21:39.320 --> 0:21:42.200