1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:02,719 Speaker 1: I think I understand that my purpose is is bigger 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:06,400 Speaker 1: and whatever it is, whatever is on my heart, whatever 3 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 1: my experiences are, I'm going to speak out on them. 4 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:13,040 Speaker 1: To be in a position where you have resources, you know, 5 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 1: where you have connections, where you have finances, where you 6 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: where you have all these things, and then you can 7 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,720 Speaker 1: get a little bit more into it and not just 8 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:24,119 Speaker 1: be a voice. Now you can be an actor, participant 9 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:34,400 Speaker 1: in the change. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, 10 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 1: the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to 11 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 1: each and every single one of you that come back 12 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: every week to listen, learn and grow. And I am 13 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: so excited to be talking to you today. I can't 14 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:49,640 Speaker 1: believe it. My new book, Eight Rules of Love is 15 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:53,000 Speaker 1: out and I cannot wait to share it with you. 16 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 1: I am so so excited for you to read this book, 17 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 1: for you to listen to this book. I read the audiobook. 18 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,360 Speaker 1: If you haven't got it all ready, make sure you 19 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 1: go to eight Rules of Love dot com. It's dedicated 20 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 1: to anyone who's trying to find, keep, or let go 21 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: of love. So if you've got friends that are dating, 22 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 1: broken up, or struggling with love, make sure you grab 23 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,679 Speaker 1: this book. And I'd love to invite you to come 24 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: and see me for my global tour Love Rules. Go 25 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 1: to Jay shettytour dot com to learn more information about tickets, 26 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 1: VIP experiences, and more. I can't wait to see you 27 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,480 Speaker 1: this year. Now, you know that I'm always seeking out 28 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 1: new stories ideas people who have an incredible purpose in 29 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:39,479 Speaker 1: their life, have had immense success, but are sharing their 30 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:44,040 Speaker 1: story in a really beautiful, powerful way. And today's guest 31 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,039 Speaker 1: is going to blow your mind. I'm speaking about the 32 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 1: one and only Dwayne Wade, of course, known from being 33 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 1: an American professional basketball player, one of the best players 34 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 1: of his era, who won three NBA Championships as a 35 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: member of the Miami Heat. He was a third time 36 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 1: NBA All Star, an eight time member of the All 37 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:08,079 Speaker 1: NBA Team, and a three time member of the All 38 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: Defensive Team. And he recently released a photographic memoir with 39 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:15,120 Speaker 1: more than a hundred photos from his life on and 40 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:18,359 Speaker 1: off The quote and this book, I was just saying 41 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,800 Speaker 1: to Dwayne Dayne, welcome to the show. Is a work 42 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 1: of art. Like it's so it's so beautiful. I mean 43 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:28,400 Speaker 1: the pictures, the choices, the words in between. It is 44 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,560 Speaker 1: a work of art. And I want to congratulate you, 45 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:36,080 Speaker 1: Dwane on this incredible achievement and welcome Tom purpose Jay. 46 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:40,440 Speaker 1: Thank you for the introduction. Man, that was listen you 47 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,040 Speaker 1: are you open for the Hall of Fame? Yeah, twenty 48 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 1: twenty three possibly that was that was amazing. Yeah, that 49 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 1: would be an honor. That would be an honor, my honor. 50 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 1: So you you just let me know where I need 51 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: to be. I will be there all as good. Well, 52 00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:01,359 Speaker 1: you know, as we talked about, um, you know, this 53 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,280 Speaker 1: is this is my art. This is my photographer about 54 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:07,840 Speaker 1: Metellus arts. This is just intensely who was a cowright 55 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,239 Speaker 1: on this this is his art as well. And so 56 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:13,680 Speaker 1: to be able to present a book that looks like art, 57 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 1: it shows you how much care and how much work 58 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: went into this, this project and this um you know, 59 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,760 Speaker 1: this so something that's so personal for me. So thank 60 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 1: you for saying that. Yeah. Absolutely, absolutely, and I can't 61 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,359 Speaker 1: wait for everyone who's listening and watching. I highly recommend 62 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:32,519 Speaker 1: you go and grab a copy. Whether you're a basketball 63 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 1: fan or not, there is so much on and off 64 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 1: the court in this book that you're going to benefit 65 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 1: so much from it. To Dwayne, let's let's dive right in. 66 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 1: I want to start by asking you, when you're compiling 67 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 1: a book like this, when you're looking at pictures old 68 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 1: and new, what is it doing for you emotionally? Like, 69 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: tell me about not the physical journey of compiling, but 70 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 1: the emotional journey of putting a book together like this 71 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: for me, like going through these photos, there's some very 72 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,560 Speaker 1: person who photos inside this book. You know this, you know, 73 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 1: this is me trying to show Jay the human side 74 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,120 Speaker 1: of me. You know, as someone who's a public figure, 75 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 1: sometimes the human side of you get lost. And so 76 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 1: what I wanted to capture is that that that part 77 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:17,039 Speaker 1: of me. And so I'm able to go into these 78 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:20,279 Speaker 1: photos and some of them, you know, it showcased my childhood, 79 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 1: you know, whether it's showing up the complex that I 80 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 1: grew up in on fifty nine and Prairie, or whether 81 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,279 Speaker 1: it's showing my kids or whatever it is. I'm able 82 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 1: to go right back into that moment and I'm able 83 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:34,040 Speaker 1: to kind of relive some of those things. And you know, 84 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,840 Speaker 1: I love that. I love going back and remembering little 85 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,279 Speaker 1: Duane and the promises that he made and the dreams 86 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,599 Speaker 1: that he had. I love going back and revisiting it. 87 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 1: When when you were capturing all these memories since the 88 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:49,240 Speaker 1: beginning of your career, did you ever have any idea 89 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,120 Speaker 1: that it was going to go this well and be 90 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:54,839 Speaker 1: this great? And like, what was the process when? Because 91 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: I always feel like, you know, now everyone's lives are 92 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 1: documented because of social media and video and content has 93 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,719 Speaker 1: become so easy and cheap and free. But you know, 94 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: when you started documenting, it's like no one knew where 95 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,920 Speaker 1: this was gonna go. How where did you feel it 96 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,600 Speaker 1: was gonna go? I had no clue. And that's the 97 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 1: That's the beauty of life as well, is the unknown. 98 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 1: And so the only thing I knew was be a 99 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 1: good person, work hard, treat others the way that you 100 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,359 Speaker 1: want to be treated and you want others to treat 101 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,720 Speaker 1: you know, your loved ones. Work hard, work hard. You know. 102 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:34,080 Speaker 1: I just knew these small, these small things in life 103 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,120 Speaker 1: that I carry with me and I try to put 104 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 1: that in everything I did. And you know, I think 105 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,520 Speaker 1: Will Smith said it, and I'm gonna mess it up, 106 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 1: but he said, you work hard every day, and you 107 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,320 Speaker 1: get up every day and you just work hard and 108 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: you mess around and you end up having a good life, 109 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 1: you know, because just every day you choosing to work hard, 110 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:57,000 Speaker 1: and so I worked hard every day and I messed 111 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:01,160 Speaker 1: around and had a good life and a career. Yeah, 112 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 1: a great A great career, man, a great career. And 113 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 1: now you you mentioned in the book. I love this, 114 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: and I love even how you've structured the book. So 115 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 1: for anyone who hasn't got the book yet, the book 116 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 1: is structured in the same way a game is structured. 117 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,120 Speaker 1: So you've got pregame, first quarter, second quarter, halftime, third 118 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:22,160 Speaker 1: and fourth and post game, which I love. I love 119 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:25,120 Speaker 1: that thought of thought process and getting into your mindset 120 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 1: and your life in that way. One of the most 121 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,600 Speaker 1: beautiful things you mentioned is that in the book that 122 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 1: every tip off you always close your eyes, bow your 123 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 1: head and you talk to God. And when I you know, 124 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:41,920 Speaker 1: when I when I read that, I was thinking, Wow, 125 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,120 Speaker 1: that is so special to be doing that in a 126 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 1: tip off, which is like, you know, there's stress, there's pressure, 127 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:52,040 Speaker 1: there's the fans, there's you know, everything's like quite heightened 128 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,119 Speaker 1: at that point, but you're able to close your eyes, 129 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 1: bow your head and talk to God. I wanted to 130 00:06:56,720 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 1: ask you, what do you say? Why has that been 131 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 1: an important routine for you? Yeah? Jay, it goes back 132 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:07,920 Speaker 1: to you know my childhood, I'm not I'm I look 133 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,160 Speaker 1: at myself as spiritual. I don't look at myself as 134 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 1: as Christian or you know, any other terms. I look 135 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:15,559 Speaker 1: at myself as a spiritual person I felt. I've always 136 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,840 Speaker 1: had a person relationship with the version of who I 137 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 1: feel my God is um since a very young age, 138 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 1: and I've always communicated very well with him. And He's 139 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,760 Speaker 1: a hymn to me could be a hurt of someone else, 140 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 1: and so I've never lost sight of that. And and 141 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,840 Speaker 1: for me growing up as a young kid who who 142 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,880 Speaker 1: got a lot of things put in his path to 143 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: try to stop him from getting to where I am now, 144 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:48,040 Speaker 1: and knowing throughout throughout that process, my faith was so strong. 145 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 1: You know, you know my wed number three probably because 146 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:54,760 Speaker 1: of the Father of the Southern Holy Spirit. And at 147 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 1: that moment before a game, I've done it since I've 148 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 1: been since I started playing basketball. Is I always take 149 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 1: him and just be thankful. I'm thankful for the places 150 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:06,480 Speaker 1: that I'm allowed to go. I'm thankful for the places 151 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 1: that my God has taken me. I remember being little 152 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:13,960 Speaker 1: Dwayne crying, going to bed with no food in my stomach, 153 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 1: you know, just crying trying, you know, asking God to 154 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 1: allow me to be the one to help get my 155 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:24,200 Speaker 1: family out of you know, poverty, and to be in 156 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 1: that situation, to be on an NBA court, and to 157 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 1: look around before every game and see twenty thousand fans, 158 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,520 Speaker 1: see a little kid that's somewhere with your jersey, or 159 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 1: just trying to get a glimpse in a moment like 160 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 1: to understand that you're one of the best players in 161 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,720 Speaker 1: this game. I'm thankful, and so before every tip off, 162 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 1: I just wanted to express how thankful I was to 163 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:45,960 Speaker 1: my God. Yeah, that's beautiful, man. I love that as 164 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 1: a centering and guiding principle for each and every one 165 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:51,840 Speaker 1: of us, that even in that moment, you're able to 166 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 1: have that stillness internally to set that intention and you know, 167 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,480 Speaker 1: whatever it means to you. I appreciate that that it's 168 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 1: you making sense of what that word, what that feeling 169 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 1: means to you. It's not about any other external definition, 170 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:09,760 Speaker 1: but about your own. I wondered, did you ever talk 171 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 1: to your God after the game or during the game, 172 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:19,719 Speaker 1: the game, throughout the entire game, all the time, man, 173 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:25,080 Speaker 1: all the time. Do you ever remember a specific game 174 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:28,760 Speaker 1: or a specific moment where your conversation with God was 175 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: was interesting, or that we could dive into that that moment. 176 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:35,200 Speaker 1: I mean, let's let's pick any Let's pick losing Game 177 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:39,560 Speaker 1: two or the NBA Finals in twenty eleven. Up, I 178 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:41,680 Speaker 1: think fifteen points, you know what I mean, in the 179 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,959 Speaker 1: fourth quarter, let's take that. You're like, ah, what's up? 180 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,719 Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like you have conversations all 181 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:53,760 Speaker 1: the time, but you know, ultimately, um, you know, for me, 182 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:57,320 Speaker 1: it's just always been about like, look, look, look where 183 00:09:57,320 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 1: I am. Like, you know, and I think sometimes you know, 184 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,599 Speaker 1: going through the process, Jay, like you lose yourself a 185 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:09,120 Speaker 1: little bit, you lose sight of like important you know, principles, 186 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:13,320 Speaker 1: important things. And I was and I'm one of those 187 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,960 Speaker 1: people who forget, you know, at moments. And then so 188 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 1: when I would try to always bring myself back to 189 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:19,959 Speaker 1: the moment, even if we lost some finals, even if 190 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 1: someone hit a game winner, even if I played terrible, 191 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 1: you know, you're trying not to question, You're trying not 192 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,080 Speaker 1: to ask why. It's a part of the journey. And 193 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:31,440 Speaker 1: so I tried as much as possible to stay off God, 194 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 1: get off his case. I love them. I love that 195 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,160 Speaker 1: One of the things you talk a lot about in 196 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,920 Speaker 1: the book. That comes through with the images and pictures 197 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 1: is you know the foundation you had through coaching and 198 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 1: the people you add in your life. And you say 199 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,200 Speaker 1: something beautiful, you say, as a professional athlete, you have 200 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 1: to trust a lot of people with your body. And 201 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 1: I thought that this was fascinating because you know, as 202 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,320 Speaker 1: an athlete, of course you have trained your coaches, and 203 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:02,920 Speaker 1: even in our lots, we trust people with parts of ourselves, 204 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:06,600 Speaker 1: whether it's our mind, our body, our life friendship. How 205 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:09,440 Speaker 1: did you know in the beginning or how did you 206 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:12,959 Speaker 1: develop an approach to finding out who you could trust 207 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 1: with your body and your career versus those you couldn't trust. 208 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 1: Was there a way that you sensed or started to 209 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:24,920 Speaker 1: learn and know how to make those choices and decisions. Yeah, 210 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,040 Speaker 1: I think it's gut. You know, if you don't have 211 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:31,080 Speaker 1: someone in your life that can help you know, put 212 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:35,160 Speaker 1: you with certain people people and like a big mentor 213 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,439 Speaker 1: throughout your life, or a big or father figure who 214 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,120 Speaker 1: has certain relationships and all these things, then a lot 215 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 1: of it is going to be on your your gut feeling. 216 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:45,400 Speaker 1: And so for me, I've been one of the luckiest 217 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:51,040 Speaker 1: human beings in my eyesight for the sense of having 218 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:54,720 Speaker 1: people put in his life that have really made huge impacts, 219 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:57,160 Speaker 1: who have really been there for the good and not 220 00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 1: for the bad. And it just really helped me, you know, 221 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 1: And I'm not that I have not always been the 222 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 1: most confident man in the world. And to have all 223 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 1: these individuals who have been there to be able to 224 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 1: give me the nudge to be able to push me 225 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 1: back up, for me to have the common sense to 226 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:15,480 Speaker 1: allow them to do it is the reason that you 227 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,440 Speaker 1: and I right now are on the number one help 228 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 1: podcast in the world because of it. Right So, I'm 229 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 1: very appreciative of everybody alone his journey that really nudge 230 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,280 Speaker 1: me and lift me up. Yeah. No, I love that, 231 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,840 Speaker 1: and I think that's so important. I think what I 232 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 1: love is then the book, you talk so much about 233 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,160 Speaker 1: the coaches, the mentors, the people who nudged you along, 234 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 1: the players that you work alongside. There's this brilliant picture 235 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,840 Speaker 1: of I believe it's with you and Lebron James, and 236 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 1: you're just saying that it was from a workout where 237 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,200 Speaker 1: you both just went fall out on each other and 238 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 1: just encourage each other to just you know, keep pushing 239 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:56,320 Speaker 1: on and keep going on. Can you walk us through 240 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 1: the hardest workout or the hardest pregame that you ever did, 241 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,080 Speaker 1: mentally or physically. Could you just walk us through what 242 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,800 Speaker 1: it's really like? Because I always feel as someone like 243 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:10,320 Speaker 1: I'm not an athlete, I don't really know how hard 244 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:14,040 Speaker 1: that is physically. Could you walk us through that? I 245 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 1: guess the easiest way to say it is we all have. 246 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,240 Speaker 1: We all reach a point in whatever we're doing where 247 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,720 Speaker 1: we reach that boiling point where we feel we have 248 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 1: nothing else to give. And as an athlete, you reach 249 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 1: that point constantly, And the hardest part is it is 250 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:35,640 Speaker 1: pushing yourself and allowing others to push you to give 251 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 1: more than you know that you have to give. And 252 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,040 Speaker 1: it's so easy to quit on yourself. It's so easy 253 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 1: to say I have nothing left. But when you go 254 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 1: past that level and you go to it, you tap 255 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,000 Speaker 1: into another place that you didn't think you had. You 256 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,040 Speaker 1: didn't know you had another fifteen reps, You thought you 257 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:54,120 Speaker 1: was maxed out a team, and you push yourself to there. 258 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,760 Speaker 1: Now you've shown yourself that you have another level, and 259 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,400 Speaker 1: that another level helps you in those moments, right that 260 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 1: another level helps you in a fourth quarter when everyone's 261 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:06,360 Speaker 1: tired because you know you've went to another level, and 262 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:10,319 Speaker 1: so just man the whole training aspect of it. Lebron 263 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:14,240 Speaker 1: and I being two great players and being two great friends, 264 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:17,520 Speaker 1: pushed it each other. You know, that photo was right 265 00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 1: before Game one of the twenty thirteen NBA Finals, and 266 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 1: we knew that it was gonna be on us to 267 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,520 Speaker 1: lead this team, and we knew we were about to 268 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 1: be in a dog fight because we were playing at 269 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,280 Speaker 1: San Antonio Spurs, and he was going to test us 270 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 1: physically and mentally and emotionally in all the fields, and 271 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:38,880 Speaker 1: so that was getting ourselves stealed and prepared for what 272 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 1: the series was about to hand us. Yeah, that's amazing. 273 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 1: I love hearing that because you're so right. We always 274 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 1: quit on ourselves. I mean, I remember the closest thing 275 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,960 Speaker 1: I can compare is just when I lived as a monk. 276 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:56,640 Speaker 1: You know, you'd always think that you'd meditated enough for 277 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 1: you'd pushed yourself, and our teachers would push us a 278 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,360 Speaker 1: little more, a little more, a little more, and then 279 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 1: you get today where you meditated for like eight hours 280 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,440 Speaker 1: and you're like, oh wow, Like I didn't think I 281 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,680 Speaker 1: could do eight minutes if I was left to do 282 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,400 Speaker 1: it on my own, and you start to realize the 283 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:16,080 Speaker 1: value of association, the value of those minds around you 284 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:19,440 Speaker 1: that help you see more than yourself, and that really 285 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:22,520 Speaker 1: leads to you. Know you said about Tom creen you 286 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:25,800 Speaker 1: said he believed that I could be something more than 287 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:30,000 Speaker 1: just a basketball player. And when I hear that, I'm 288 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:33,560 Speaker 1: like wow, Like when people around us see us becoming 289 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:37,040 Speaker 1: more than we see for ourselves. What were some of 290 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 1: the lessons you believe that he taught you off the court. 291 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:43,000 Speaker 1: What were some of those And why was it so 292 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,280 Speaker 1: important for you to see yourself as more than a 293 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 1: basketball player. I don't know why it was. I just 294 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 1: know it just always has been and it always has 295 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,840 Speaker 1: mattered for me. And I don't know the reason, Jay, 296 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 1: But Tom Crean came to my house, and this is 297 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,680 Speaker 1: something that he probably did. You know, this was his 298 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,440 Speaker 1: first year been a head coach, but this is something 299 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,800 Speaker 1: he probably seen and had done before. But when he 300 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,440 Speaker 1: came to my house and he resented me with a 301 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,880 Speaker 1: cap and gown, at that moment, no one ever talked 302 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:17,920 Speaker 1: to me as as an inner city kid about graduating college. 303 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 1: I just started thinking about going to college. It was 304 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,760 Speaker 1: not like no like, it's not a lot of people 305 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 1: my family who have graduated college. This is not a thing. 306 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,640 Speaker 1: This is not something that you just do. So when 307 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,240 Speaker 1: he presented that to me, at that moment, I started 308 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,040 Speaker 1: looking at him differently. It wasn't just about what I 309 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:37,720 Speaker 1: can do for him on a basketball floor. He was 310 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:40,360 Speaker 1: talking about my future. He was talking about me actually 311 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:44,480 Speaker 1: building something bigger than just a basketball player. And that continued, 312 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,440 Speaker 1: you know, being in college and having a son at 313 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,920 Speaker 1: the age of nineteen years old, you know, he became 314 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:53,200 Speaker 1: a huge figure in my life as a father, as 315 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 1: an example, and just a shoulder to cry on and 316 00:16:56,640 --> 00:17:01,239 Speaker 1: lean on, you know, and so roll my those mentors 317 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:05,240 Speaker 1: obviously filed the figures, and these people are so important. 318 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,240 Speaker 1: Um you know, alone this journey of life for so 319 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:10,400 Speaker 1: many little kids, and I know so many little kids 320 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 1: like Dwyane Wade that's growing up in broken homes and 321 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:18,760 Speaker 1: um you know, inv in poverty, um where not a 322 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:21,639 Speaker 1: lot of resources, not a lot of opportunities. They need something, 323 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:24,680 Speaker 1: they need someone, And to be able to have those 324 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:26,920 Speaker 1: individuals in my life is the only reason once again 325 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 1: that I'm able to sit up here and even have 326 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 1: a voice of a microphone to even talk about it. Yeah, 327 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,880 Speaker 1: when when you look at that time when and you've 328 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,119 Speaker 1: referenced in this interview and of course in the book, 329 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,639 Speaker 1: but like you know, growing up in poverty, growing up 330 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:44,240 Speaker 1: with very little opportunities or resources, not having those options, 331 00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:48,800 Speaker 1: What was the first time you felt that there could 332 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,160 Speaker 1: be more, that you could do something with your life. 333 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 1: What was it? Who was it that right in that 334 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:55,760 Speaker 1: very moment, in that beginning, when you were in that 335 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,800 Speaker 1: pain and in that struggle, that made that feel possible. 336 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:04,119 Speaker 1: You know, Jay, I've always felt it, like I did. 337 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:07,199 Speaker 1: I didn't know what it was, but I've always I 338 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:11,400 Speaker 1: just never felt like I've I don't want to say 339 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:16,160 Speaker 1: that I fit in. I just always felt that I 340 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,880 Speaker 1: thought differently, and I looked at things differently. That's it. 341 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,640 Speaker 1: You know, Like even a game of basketball, how as 342 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,760 Speaker 1: a young kid, how I was able to read the 343 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:28,120 Speaker 1: game and knew that the ball is either going inside 344 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,679 Speaker 1: or it's going along in perimeter. Okay, that's it. The 345 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:34,200 Speaker 1: game is easy, like right, like I just I just 346 00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:37,400 Speaker 1: you know, it's just as it's a part of God's 347 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,679 Speaker 1: you know, uh and my parents you know, to getting 348 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,880 Speaker 1: together to be able to create create this right, and 349 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:47,359 Speaker 1: so I always had that looking around, like this is 350 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,000 Speaker 1: not it, this will not be it for me. Like 351 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,879 Speaker 1: even now I'm I love life and my family and 352 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,359 Speaker 1: everything we're accomplishing, I still look around and I'm like, 353 00:18:56,840 --> 00:19:00,720 Speaker 1: this is for now, this is not it. It's it's more. 354 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:04,399 Speaker 1: It's more living to do, it's more life. And I 355 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,800 Speaker 1: just didn't know how to get it done. Then I 356 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:08,360 Speaker 1: just know how to get it done now because I've 357 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,359 Speaker 1: been through it all. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, and and and 358 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:14,400 Speaker 1: again what you just said is it's that perfect balance 359 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:18,960 Speaker 1: between being present now in what there is, but recognizing 360 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 1: there's more and being open to that. Right. It's like 361 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 1: when I hear you speak and when I'm looking at 362 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:28,680 Speaker 1: your book, there's deep presence, like when you go back 363 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,800 Speaker 1: to these memories in the book, like you're fully absorbed 364 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:35,080 Speaker 1: and immersed, like we're there with you. You do that beautifully. 365 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:38,679 Speaker 1: But at the same time, you have this expansive vision 366 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,399 Speaker 1: that there's more. There's more to do, more to achieve, 367 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,159 Speaker 1: more to grow, more to learn. And I feel like 368 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,720 Speaker 1: that balance is really rare. You don't you know, people 369 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,680 Speaker 1: are either in the future or they're in the present, 370 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,879 Speaker 1: but being able to go between the two is a 371 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:55,119 Speaker 1: really powerful skill and knowing that you know you've been 372 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:58,920 Speaker 1: able to spot those patterns and see that from the beginning. Yeah, 373 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:01,680 Speaker 1: what do you think was one of the best decisions 374 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 1: you ever made in your personal life or professional life 375 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:11,200 Speaker 1: that made a huge impact or decision in your overall life. Well, 376 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,480 Speaker 1: I think, going back to the last point, in this 377 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:18,199 Speaker 1: point I wanted to make was the ability to be 378 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:24,320 Speaker 1: able to appreciate the past, enjoy and really focus in 379 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:28,879 Speaker 1: living the now and not be satisfied with that, and 380 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:33,000 Speaker 1: be able to visualize and look towards the future. And 381 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,640 Speaker 1: having all three of those, my mind is always moving 382 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,760 Speaker 1: and I'm going from I'm going back here, and I'm 383 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:41,359 Speaker 1: coming here and then I'm going there right and to 384 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 1: be I thank God and I thank everybody for the 385 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:51,120 Speaker 1: ability to have openness, like to be open. If you're 386 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 1: open in this world, you will have experiences that you 387 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:58,600 Speaker 1: never could have imagined. But if you're close minded, you 388 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:01,000 Speaker 1: know you're going to live in a bout. And I 389 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:02,840 Speaker 1: just never wanted to live in a box. And so 390 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:08,159 Speaker 1: my decision was to be open to do to my 391 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 1: first in issue, reaction is out of fear, and it's 392 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,919 Speaker 1: out of something that I don't I've never experienced before, 393 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,080 Speaker 1: or I may not have a lot of knowledge on 394 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,200 Speaker 1: so I'm immediately going to be fearful and say no, 395 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,520 Speaker 1: I don't want to do it because it's uncomfortable. Who 396 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:26,159 Speaker 1: wants to look stupid? Who wants to be wrong? But somewhere, somehow, 397 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,520 Speaker 1: alone his journey, someone gave me a smack me on 398 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,639 Speaker 1: the head and said, here, take this openness and go 399 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:35,640 Speaker 1: off and live life. I love that. I love that man, 400 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,879 Speaker 1: and I hope everyone who's listening and watching right now 401 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:42,200 Speaker 1: feels that they're getting that openness thrown at them through 402 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,720 Speaker 1: Dwayne as well of like, you know, just just being 403 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,000 Speaker 1: more open to it. And one of the things though 404 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:50,240 Speaker 1: that another I was, you know what, I love this 405 00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:53,760 Speaker 1: juxtaposition between images and woods like to me, all the 406 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,679 Speaker 1: art in my house as well, it's images and woods 407 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,760 Speaker 1: Like I feel like a lot of people just like 408 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:00,520 Speaker 1: to look at pictures and images, a lot of people 409 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,679 Speaker 1: obviously fascinated by words and lyrics. To me, when I 410 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,480 Speaker 1: see this book, I love it because it's it's it's 411 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 1: both together and there's this beautiful statement that you made 412 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:14,239 Speaker 1: that patience is always the hardest virtue to learn. We 413 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 1: always hear patience is a virtue. But you go and say, 414 00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:19,199 Speaker 1: patients to is the hardest virtue to learn. And I 415 00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:22,119 Speaker 1: was like, what made you realize that? Like where did you? 416 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:26,440 Speaker 1: Where was patience hard to learn in your life? In 417 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:31,840 Speaker 1: every aspect like sitting in traffic, it's hard to have patience, 418 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 1: you know. I mean, I live in La now, it's 419 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,879 Speaker 1: hard to have patients of traffic, right. Like That's but 420 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:41,119 Speaker 1: I think we, especially now in twenty twenty one, we 421 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:45,240 Speaker 1: are we are a world that we want to get there. 422 00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:47,520 Speaker 1: We want to, we want to, we want everything like this, 423 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:49,840 Speaker 1: when we get in our car, we want to get 424 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:53,720 Speaker 1: it our destination right away. We don't. We don't enjoy 425 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:57,399 Speaker 1: the journey. We're not enjoying the journey no more. And 426 00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,000 Speaker 1: it's like even like with our phones, you know, we 427 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,800 Speaker 1: could be in a car and it's our driving. Your 428 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,840 Speaker 1: head is down the entire time, and you've missed so 429 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,240 Speaker 1: much about the world, you know what I mean that 430 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:11,960 Speaker 1: we're just not looking up anymore. And so to me 431 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,879 Speaker 1: having patience and even someone when I get in the car, 432 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, it's an hour drive. Cool, let me enjoy 433 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,119 Speaker 1: this hour. Let me get my music right, let me 434 00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:22,640 Speaker 1: get my podcasts right, let me put my top down 435 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,800 Speaker 1: and see the mountains or see the sun or whatever 436 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,960 Speaker 1: it is. Right, we want to get to things right away, 437 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,840 Speaker 1: and we don't want to have patience and let things 438 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:35,080 Speaker 1: happen the way that they're supposed to happen. What was 439 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:37,600 Speaker 1: the hardest thing in your life to be patient about, 440 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,560 Speaker 1: like with your achievement in basketball, Like what was the 441 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,840 Speaker 1: thing you were most impatient about? If there was something 442 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,080 Speaker 1: you were really impatient about and that you had to 443 00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:47,080 Speaker 1: realize you had to slow down and work towards. What 444 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:50,480 Speaker 1: was that achievement in basketball? I wanted it right away, 445 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,720 Speaker 1: Like when I was in school, I wanted to be known. 446 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:58,160 Speaker 1: I wanted to have scholarship offers. I wanted I want 447 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 1: to praise through man like I wanted that. I needed it, 448 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 1: I felt, and that was something that now that it 449 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,959 Speaker 1: didn't happen for me that way, my journey was a 450 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,359 Speaker 1: little slower. And now I look at my journey and 451 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:14,000 Speaker 1: I'm like, man, that journey built character. And without that journey, 452 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:17,439 Speaker 1: I don't have this. You know, I'm not able to 453 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,760 Speaker 1: look at it from this perspective, and its perspective makes 454 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,679 Speaker 1: me appreciate, you know, everything and so I have the 455 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,040 Speaker 1: same conversation Jay with my son who's going through his 456 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:29,159 Speaker 1: own journey and he wants it now. He wants to 457 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:32,399 Speaker 1: be a superstar now, he wants to you know, he 458 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,359 Speaker 1: wants everybody to like the way he played now. And 459 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:39,200 Speaker 1: it's like, YO, have patience, appreciate the journey, because this 460 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,760 Speaker 1: is creating a story. You're creating your own legacy, right, 461 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,400 Speaker 1: you have a We're all born with a blank canvas 462 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,119 Speaker 1: and we're able to go out and find the paint 463 00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:51,679 Speaker 1: and we're able to paint our own paint your own story. 464 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,200 Speaker 1: Don't let no one else paint on your canvas. It's 465 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 1: it's yours. It's blank painted the way that you see fit. 466 00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,480 Speaker 1: And so you know, that's just that's just how I 467 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:01,560 Speaker 1: approach it. I don't know if that makes sense. It 468 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,240 Speaker 1: makes a lot of sense. I mean, I was about 469 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:06,600 Speaker 1: to say that is such beautiful advice for a young man. 470 00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,680 Speaker 1: Congratulations to him, by the way on the recent news. 471 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,800 Speaker 1: But like, for you know, to hear that from your father, 472 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:14,840 Speaker 1: I think is so powerful. And I'm sure that if 473 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,399 Speaker 1: there's any mothers or fathers listening right now, or anyone 474 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:21,199 Speaker 1: listening right now, hearing that from you is massively empowering 475 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:25,240 Speaker 1: right because I feel you're spot on. We're living in 476 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:29,399 Speaker 1: that culture driving social media technology n f T S. 477 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,080 Speaker 1: I mean anything, everyone just wants it now, crypto like 478 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:36,399 Speaker 1: whatever it is, the six pack, abs, the incredible body, 479 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,359 Speaker 1: whatever that means, Like, you know, we all want it 480 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,360 Speaker 1: right now. How is your relationship Dwayne? Do you think 481 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:46,480 Speaker 1: how did your relationship with praise and fame and validation 482 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:50,640 Speaker 1: change over time? I'm always intrigued as to, you know, 483 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:56,840 Speaker 1: how did your relationship evolve with fans, with criticism, with 484 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,679 Speaker 1: good games, bad games? Like? How is your relationship with 485 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:04,800 Speaker 1: praise and validation evolved or changed over time? I feel 486 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:08,439 Speaker 1: that the more of my life has gotten to a 487 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:11,239 Speaker 1: place where it feels more complete in a sense that 488 00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:13,359 Speaker 1: my mom's in my life, she's healthy, we have a 489 00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:16,320 Speaker 1: great relationship. My dad's in my life, he's you know, 490 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,439 Speaker 1: he's healthy. We have a great relationship. I have a 491 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,840 Speaker 1: great relationship with my wife. I'm I have great relationships 492 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,239 Speaker 1: with my kids, and I'm building better relationship with my 493 00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,320 Speaker 1: with my kids as well. And so the closest, the 494 00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:28,960 Speaker 1: closer I've got to the things that I've always wanted 495 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:34,879 Speaker 1: and needed, you know, I've gotten better about what people 496 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:38,200 Speaker 1: say about me or the perception of who I supposed 497 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:41,040 Speaker 1: to be or But when I was younger, I needed that, 498 00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:44,120 Speaker 1: Like I like I said, I wanted praise through man, 499 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:47,919 Speaker 1: like I needed attention. I wanted to be famous. I 500 00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,760 Speaker 1: wanted to have my jersey's been a number one selling jersey. 501 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:54,600 Speaker 1: Like the insecure little boy in me needed that from others, 502 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:56,480 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And then I got to 503 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 1: the point as things started becoming better in love and 504 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:02,280 Speaker 1: family and the friends, and I started feeling more whole, 505 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:05,280 Speaker 1: I stopped needing that, I stopped caring about it. And 506 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,399 Speaker 1: so I understand the journey of a young kid of 507 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,320 Speaker 1: like my son who's nineteen, who can read thirty three 508 00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:12,840 Speaker 1: comments under his photo and feels like the world is 509 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,639 Speaker 1: coming down on him. I understand it. But at the 510 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:17,720 Speaker 1: same time, I'm thirty nine, and I'm able to look 511 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:20,760 Speaker 1: back and say, that's not going to matter, you know 512 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,960 Speaker 1: what I mean. What matters is you. What matters is 513 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:26,080 Speaker 1: what is what you put into what it is that's 514 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:28,360 Speaker 1: your dreams is and what you want to do. Yeah, well, 515 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:32,440 Speaker 1: said man, really really beautifully sad. You know, I often 516 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:36,400 Speaker 1: feel the same way that when you know that the people, 517 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,159 Speaker 1: And it's what we started with when I was sharing 518 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:41,280 Speaker 1: with you the intention at the beginning. It's that you 519 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,240 Speaker 1: realize that ultimately, the only opinions that matter are the 520 00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,719 Speaker 1: people that deeply know you, Like most people don't know 521 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,159 Speaker 1: you deeply, and now you're giving us an opportunity to 522 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:53,360 Speaker 1: get to know you deeply through your through this beautiful 523 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:57,119 Speaker 1: book a memoir. But it's the people that know you 524 00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:00,359 Speaker 1: truly and deeply at the heart. They're the ones that matter. 525 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,959 Speaker 1: And you can't take someone who's uh, you know, behind 526 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,239 Speaker 1: the keyboard seriously because you don't really know who they 527 00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,280 Speaker 1: are and they don't know who you are. But we 528 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:12,480 Speaker 1: do outsource our validation and our self assurance and our 529 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,720 Speaker 1: self esteem to everyone else. And I love hearing that. 530 00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:18,520 Speaker 1: You know, I wonder how does your son react? But 531 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:20,639 Speaker 1: be honestly, how does he react to that? Does he go, 532 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,240 Speaker 1: how does he hear that? Does he go, oh Dad, 533 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,280 Speaker 1: it's all right for you because you're so successful, or 534 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:29,119 Speaker 1: how does he respond to that? I'm intrigued. You know, 535 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:31,560 Speaker 1: he receives it. You know, the one thing I love 536 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:36,400 Speaker 1: about Zaire is he receives things and he decides how 537 00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:40,280 Speaker 1: you know, he wants to um pursue, pursue things from 538 00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,760 Speaker 1: from there. But he receives the things I say. But 539 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,600 Speaker 1: at the same time, he also understands that, you know what, Dad, 540 00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,640 Speaker 1: You've never been zaire Away. You know what I mean, 541 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,360 Speaker 1: You've never really lived this lifestyle as I've lived. No 542 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:55,120 Speaker 1: one is really that we know in our family, no 543 00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,920 Speaker 1: one has lived a zire Away life. You know. I come, 544 00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,560 Speaker 1: I know what it's like to be come from nothing 545 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,840 Speaker 1: with no expectations, but I don't know what it's like 546 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:08,280 Speaker 1: to come from something with expectations. Yeah, and so I 547 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,640 Speaker 1: get it, and so I don't I don't say these 548 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:12,720 Speaker 1: things to my son. I'm like, Hey, this is this 549 00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:14,000 Speaker 1: is how it's supposed to be, and this is how 550 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,560 Speaker 1: it's gonna This is just me communicating with him and 551 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:18,600 Speaker 1: past trying to pass down to knowledge that I know. 552 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,560 Speaker 1: But I also understand his journey and I'm able to 553 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:23,800 Speaker 1: you know, I'm able to listen, I'm able to be, 554 00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:26,080 Speaker 1: you know, have empathy towards what he what he goes through. 555 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:30,080 Speaker 1: But at the same time, I know that ultimately that's 556 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:33,360 Speaker 1: not ultimately going to matter in a sense of you know, 557 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,600 Speaker 1: where you trying to get in your future, you know. 558 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:40,000 Speaker 1: And so I just don't want him to ever use 559 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:43,480 Speaker 1: things as excuses. And that's me and that's what I've 560 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,360 Speaker 1: always fought. Again, So I could have used my mom 561 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,880 Speaker 1: as an excuse a hug going to prison, and when 562 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:49,720 Speaker 1: I was nine years old, I could have used not 563 00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 1: getting an act score to go to college as an excuse. 564 00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:57,719 Speaker 1: But if I if I allow those things to be excuses, 565 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:01,719 Speaker 1: then I'm I'm I'm allowed myself to be defeated. Um, 566 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,720 Speaker 1: you know, and and and and it's like we already 567 00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,200 Speaker 1: are behind the eight ball. Life is already hard enough. 568 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,280 Speaker 1: I cannot allow those things to happen if I want 569 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,480 Speaker 1: to be successful. And so I'm just trying to show 570 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,440 Speaker 1: him that and understand it. It's going to take him 571 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,000 Speaker 1: in his own time to really understand it in that way. 572 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,400 Speaker 1: I love that you and you and your wife obviously 573 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,800 Speaker 1: are trying to have such healthy relationships with your kids. 574 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:24,440 Speaker 1: As you just said there when you know, when you 575 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:26,520 Speaker 1: go through this experience with your parents, but now you 576 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:31,120 Speaker 1: have good relationships with them, how did you reconstruct those 577 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:33,600 Speaker 1: relationships as time has gone on? You said, one of 578 00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,400 Speaker 1: the happiest things is you have a good relationship with 579 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 1: your mom, she's healthy, father healthy. What was it that 580 00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:43,600 Speaker 1: helped you rebuild those relationships in healthy ways based on 581 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:51,280 Speaker 1: the difficult childhood you'd had, well growth having kids, realizing 582 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:55,360 Speaker 1: your parents are not that crazy. Um, but outside of that, 583 00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,479 Speaker 1: getting to know them. I really you don't when you're 584 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,320 Speaker 1: a kid, really don't know your parents. You know these 585 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:05,400 Speaker 1: rule setters, you know, you know people who take care 586 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,160 Speaker 1: of you and say no or yes, you know whatever, 587 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:11,080 Speaker 1: you don't know your parents. And so what I've been 588 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:13,200 Speaker 1: trying to do and what I'm what I just got 589 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,000 Speaker 1: done doing, Yester this weekend we just came from Utah, 590 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:19,800 Speaker 1: is I'm getting to know my parents and I'm getting 591 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:21,920 Speaker 1: to know each one individually, and I'm also getting to 592 00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:24,880 Speaker 1: know them around each other. And they've been knowing each 593 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:27,000 Speaker 1: other since my dad was like fifteen, sixteen years old, 594 00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:29,280 Speaker 1: and so they know so much about each other. So 595 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:30,880 Speaker 1: what I'm doing is I'm learning them. And as I 596 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,480 Speaker 1: learned them, I have a better appreciation of Jolinda and 597 00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 1: Duane and not just mom and dad. I think that's 598 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:40,400 Speaker 1: such beautiful advice for everyone. I think, as you just said, 599 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,959 Speaker 1: there's a there's a famous quote. I can't remember who 600 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:46,200 Speaker 1: it's fun. But it's a beautiful statement that says, Uh, 601 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,680 Speaker 1: the day you realize your parents were right, your kids 602 00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:54,160 Speaker 1: are telling you that you're wrong, you know, it's it's 603 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,480 Speaker 1: that kind of feeling like and what you just said, like, 604 00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:59,040 Speaker 1: that's exactly it. Like, And I'm not the father yet, 605 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,360 Speaker 1: but I often think about that, and you're so right. 606 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:05,480 Speaker 1: That we never get to know our parents. That's such 607 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:09,440 Speaker 1: a deep and powerful statement because we expect that their 608 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,560 Speaker 1: job is to get to know us, and their job 609 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,480 Speaker 1: is to help us, and their job is to make 610 00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:17,320 Speaker 1: our lives good. But most our parents have never been asked, 611 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,080 Speaker 1: how are you? How are you doing? Like, what do 612 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,239 Speaker 1: you care about? What's you know, what's been happening in 613 00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:24,920 Speaker 1: your life? So I really, I really appreciate that. I 614 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:28,720 Speaker 1: hope that after this podcast a lot of people go 615 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,480 Speaker 1: off and make those calls, ask those questions. The holidays 616 00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,480 Speaker 1: are coming up, like you know, this is a great 617 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:37,239 Speaker 1: time to start reconstructing a lot of those you know, 618 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:41,840 Speaker 1: wounded relationships or painful places. You know you mentioned in 619 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:44,800 Speaker 1: the book, Dwayne, you said, I try to tell everyone 620 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:48,560 Speaker 1: how much they mean to me while they're still here, 621 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:53,440 Speaker 1: because I know one day they won't be And that 622 00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,920 Speaker 1: is such a brilliant way to live. Was there someone 623 00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:00,479 Speaker 1: that you recently did that weird or texted or called? Well, 624 00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,600 Speaker 1: had that moment with that? You really were trying to 625 00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,560 Speaker 1: embody that I do it all the time. Day. Um. 626 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,360 Speaker 1: You know, I just got off my book tour and 627 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:12,320 Speaker 1: you know, my chief of staff someon capers, she's twenty 628 00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:16,560 Speaker 1: seven years old, and she's she she did she she 629 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:19,160 Speaker 1: handled the book to us so gracefully. You know, this 630 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,320 Speaker 1: was her first time handle this and she just handled it. 631 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,480 Speaker 1: She handled it so gracefully, and I had to acknowledge it. 632 00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:28,360 Speaker 1: I had to let her know. Um, And you know, 633 00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,840 Speaker 1: I really I really try to embody that. My wife 634 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:33,680 Speaker 1: and I really try to embody that. I think if 635 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,800 Speaker 1: you if you ask anyone that's in our inner circle, 636 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:38,960 Speaker 1: that's in our friend and family group, they would tell 637 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,000 Speaker 1: you we are we don't like to eat alan, we 638 00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:45,400 Speaker 1: don't like to celebrate alan. M you know, we want 639 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:49,880 Speaker 1: to make sure that we all are experiencing life, because 640 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,000 Speaker 1: it's we're all experiencing something. Me and my wife are. 641 00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:55,840 Speaker 1: We're experiencing something that you know, most of our family 642 00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:58,960 Speaker 1: and friends haven't, and we're going places that most people haven't, 643 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,840 Speaker 1: and it's on us to make sure we show them. 644 00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:03,640 Speaker 1: It's on us to make sure we move the curtains 645 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:05,600 Speaker 1: and move the buildings and move the trees out the way, 646 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:07,680 Speaker 1: to make sure that our friends and family who have 647 00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:10,359 Speaker 1: not been to places that we're being that they get 648 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,080 Speaker 1: a chance to see it, you know. And so I'm 649 00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:17,960 Speaker 1: all about creating moments, creating memories because at the end 650 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,319 Speaker 1: of the day, when it's all said and done, when 651 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:22,600 Speaker 1: someone that you lose that's so close to you, when 652 00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:24,880 Speaker 1: they're gone, all you have is those memories that they 653 00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:27,120 Speaker 1: left you, and those are the stories that you're going 654 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:30,560 Speaker 1: to tell. And so we all are about creating memories together, 655 00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:32,680 Speaker 1: and that's that's how we roll. Did you did you 656 00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:35,040 Speaker 1: ever not live that way and regret that? Was there 657 00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:37,719 Speaker 1: anyone that you wish you got to deal with that way? 658 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,279 Speaker 1: Or do you feel like you've been like that the 659 00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:43,120 Speaker 1: whole time? Have you always just felt that you've tried 660 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,000 Speaker 1: to live that way? Or was that someone that kind 661 00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:48,720 Speaker 1: of like snucked through the cracks. Yeah? I wasn't always 662 00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:52,320 Speaker 1: open minded, you know. I didn't have a great relationship 663 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:56,600 Speaker 1: with my mom, my dad's mom, or my dad's father, 664 00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:00,239 Speaker 1: and it didn't. I didn't really affect me when I 665 00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:02,400 Speaker 1: was younger because it was just it was what it was, 666 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:06,040 Speaker 1: and I really didn't care to have it. And then 667 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,080 Speaker 1: they both passed away within you know, I think a 668 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:12,000 Speaker 1: year and a half of each other, and I remember crying. 669 00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,000 Speaker 1: I remember driving in my car when I got the news, 670 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,000 Speaker 1: and I remember just crying. And I never felt any 671 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,680 Speaker 1: emotions towards my grandparents because I didn't grow up with 672 00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:21,520 Speaker 1: a relationship with them. And at that moment, I felt 673 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:24,440 Speaker 1: I felt bad because I felt like, you know what, 674 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,400 Speaker 1: you could have been the bigger person you could have 675 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:31,400 Speaker 1: You never took time to understand, to sit down with 676 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:33,880 Speaker 1: them and ask questions and understand why the relationship was 677 00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:37,000 Speaker 1: the way it was anyway you know better. And so 678 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,360 Speaker 1: I think after that I kind of woke up a 679 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,880 Speaker 1: little bit and I kind of I started trying to 680 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:45,200 Speaker 1: put beef in certain things to the side. I view 681 00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:47,800 Speaker 1: someone in my life that's gonna affect my emotions, on 682 00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:51,719 Speaker 1: my mood, You're gonna make me cry, And so it 683 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,799 Speaker 1: became important to me around around the time. Yeah, no, 684 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,640 Speaker 1: that's that's really special. Thank you for opening up and 685 00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:00,640 Speaker 1: sharing that too, because I think off and you know, 686 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,680 Speaker 1: we always hear the side of like, yeah, remember people, 687 00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:04,719 Speaker 1: but we always forget that there are people in our 688 00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:07,160 Speaker 1: life that we didn't think like that then, we didn't 689 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,399 Speaker 1: have that mindset then, and you know, we missed out 690 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,120 Speaker 1: on that. So that's always a beautiful thing to hear 691 00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,000 Speaker 1: one of the one of the things that you've done 692 00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:16,840 Speaker 1: a lot day, which is really admirable. I do believe 693 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:20,160 Speaker 1: it is because it shows a sense of risk, a 694 00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:25,080 Speaker 1: sense of confidence, a sense of integrity. You know, we're 695 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,160 Speaker 1: all aware of the police brutality that's been happening in 696 00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:33,080 Speaker 1: you know, black communities for for far too long, and 697 00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:36,759 Speaker 1: for you speaking up about this topic, supporting conversations around it, 698 00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:40,040 Speaker 1: trying to make change, using your platform for that purpose 699 00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:43,360 Speaker 1: has been an important part of your work. And you 700 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:44,800 Speaker 1: say that, you know, what's the point of having a 701 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,520 Speaker 1: platform if we're not using it for this. Can you 702 00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,680 Speaker 1: walk me through what that experience has been like from 703 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,640 Speaker 1: going from a young black man growing up in an 704 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,640 Speaker 1: inner city like having that pain and pressure yourself to 705 00:36:56,840 --> 00:37:00,680 Speaker 1: now being obviously a powerful, influential individual. You tell me 706 00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:04,000 Speaker 1: about how it feels different and what's changed, if anything. 707 00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:06,359 Speaker 1: You know, what I was just talking about this the 708 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:10,640 Speaker 1: other day, and I hope this analogy makes sense to 709 00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:15,120 Speaker 1: all your listeners. Sometimes and I'll talk to my son 710 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:19,680 Speaker 1: about this thing called impostor syndrome. Right, Sometimes I feel 711 00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:23,480 Speaker 1: like I'm like I'm an imposter, Like I feel like 712 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,919 Speaker 1: I'm I feel like I'm that kid that snuck behind 713 00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:29,040 Speaker 1: the tall kid you know too, and no one has 714 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:31,640 Speaker 1: called me and like i'm and it's like no one 715 00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:34,000 Speaker 1: has seen, like no one is like saying, hey, kid, 716 00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:37,200 Speaker 1: get back here, you're going too far. And I feel 717 00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,799 Speaker 1: like people are just still letting me go, right, And 718 00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:45,200 Speaker 1: I'm like, it's a reason that these opportunities that I've been, 719 00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:47,560 Speaker 1: that I've that I have, it's a reason for him. 720 00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:51,160 Speaker 1: It's not just because I'm talented as a basketball player. 721 00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:54,279 Speaker 1: I've seen a lot of talented basketball players not have 722 00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:59,000 Speaker 1: the the microphone that even people will even listen. It 723 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,960 Speaker 1: doesn't matter about that. So I think I understand that 724 00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:05,680 Speaker 1: my purpose is just bigger and whatever it is, whatever 725 00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:09,000 Speaker 1: is on my heart, whatever my experiences are, I'm gonna 726 00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,759 Speaker 1: speak out on them. That's the world we live in. 727 00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:13,719 Speaker 1: It's called freedom of speech. Where I'm going to speak 728 00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:15,840 Speaker 1: out on them. And then at the same time to 729 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,400 Speaker 1: be in a position where you have resources, you know, 730 00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:21,560 Speaker 1: where you have connections, where you have finances, where you 731 00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:23,680 Speaker 1: have when you have all these things, and then you 732 00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:25,440 Speaker 1: can get a little bit more into it and not 733 00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:28,200 Speaker 1: just be a voice. Now you can be an active 734 00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:32,520 Speaker 1: participant and the change. And so that's what I've tried 735 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:36,320 Speaker 1: to do in my Waste Family Foundation Waste Royal Foundation 736 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,759 Speaker 1: before that, That's what Carmelo, Anthony, Chris Paul and I 737 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:42,320 Speaker 1: are trying to do in our social change funds. We're 738 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:44,440 Speaker 1: trying to make sure that you know, we be active 739 00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:47,040 Speaker 1: in the change that's that's happening in our communities. What 740 00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:48,960 Speaker 1: have been some of the changes? Drink, Can you walk 741 00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:51,000 Speaker 1: us through that? And I know you're a very humble individuals, 742 00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:52,440 Speaker 1: so you're not gonna go off and took about all 743 00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:54,880 Speaker 1: the massive change you've made and you know, but I'd 744 00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,279 Speaker 1: love to hear about some of the work that you're 745 00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,239 Speaker 1: doing that you feel is really having an impact in 746 00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:01,839 Speaker 1: the communities, in the lives of young young people in 747 00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:05,320 Speaker 1: those communities, because I think it's so fascinating people to realize, 748 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:07,440 Speaker 1: like you said, it's not just about a voice, it's 749 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:10,360 Speaker 1: not just about social media it's about actual change in 750 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,120 Speaker 1: these uh in these cities. Could you could you walk 751 00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:15,840 Speaker 1: us through some of that stuff, yeah, you know, without 752 00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:18,759 Speaker 1: going into oh wait, well we've done this and we've 753 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,960 Speaker 1: done this. I think the best, the best thing that 754 00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:24,839 Speaker 1: I know that I can do. And Mellow and CP 755 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:30,000 Speaker 1: has the same mindset is I have about nine jobs, 756 00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:32,520 Speaker 1: j and I'm a father of a lot of kids, 757 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:36,880 Speaker 1: and I'm a husband and all these things. I understand 758 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:39,280 Speaker 1: where my strengths are and my weaknesses. So I understand 759 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:42,279 Speaker 1: where my limitations are. But I also understand that I 760 00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:46,239 Speaker 1: have a passion and we have a passion for our community. 761 00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:48,560 Speaker 1: And so it's people that's out there on the ground 762 00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:51,680 Speaker 1: that's actually doing the real work. And what I've tried 763 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:53,840 Speaker 1: to do, what I've tried to do throughout my entire 764 00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:58,920 Speaker 1: charitable efforts is support the people who are doing the work, 765 00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:01,600 Speaker 1: the programs that are doing the work, the individuals that 766 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:05,040 Speaker 1: are on the ground going to jail for this, boots 767 00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:08,439 Speaker 1: on the ground in the community. Those are the people 768 00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,520 Speaker 1: we want to support. Those are the people. That's why 769 00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:12,320 Speaker 1: the Social Change That's one of the reasons the Social 770 00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:14,680 Speaker 1: Change Fund was formed. That's one of the reasons why 771 00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:16,759 Speaker 1: the ways where a foundation was formed. It wasn't for 772 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,520 Speaker 1: me to get any acknowledgement. It was for us to 773 00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,200 Speaker 1: be able to raise enough money to be able to 774 00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:23,680 Speaker 1: pull our resources together to get back to the people 775 00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:26,520 Speaker 1: in the community that's doing the actual work. Yeah. No, 776 00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:28,680 Speaker 1: And I knew that. I just wanted to hear more 777 00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:32,920 Speaker 1: because I genuinely just I genuinely admired that work so 778 00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:36,960 Speaker 1: much and hearing you speak about it, you know, is 779 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,359 Speaker 1: really impactful for a lot of individuals because I think 780 00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:41,520 Speaker 1: sometimes you know, it's like what you're saying, but being 781 00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:44,680 Speaker 1: more than a basketball player, Like and today I'm not 782 00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:48,280 Speaker 1: focusing on the basketball because I think I love seeing 783 00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:51,680 Speaker 1: everything else that you've done by building this incredible empire 784 00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:54,160 Speaker 1: and this incredible impact and the heart that you do 785 00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:57,120 Speaker 1: it with. And I want to understand how your experience 786 00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:59,919 Speaker 1: has been so far being a business person and having 787 00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:02,480 Speaker 1: ownership of the Utah Jazz as well, Like that's a 788 00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:04,800 Speaker 1: whole other part of you as well. What's the biggest 789 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,600 Speaker 1: thing you've learned so far from that shift? Are there 790 00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:10,480 Speaker 1: are there certain things that you're using from the sport 791 00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,160 Speaker 1: in the business or are you learning completely new skills? 792 00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:17,279 Speaker 1: They say, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. And 793 00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,759 Speaker 1: so you know, and I talk about this in my 794 00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,319 Speaker 1: book a lot too, right, I feel that, you know, 795 00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:27,000 Speaker 1: the sport that I played, basketball is so many lessons 796 00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:30,919 Speaker 1: in there that are metaphors for life, that are life experiences. 797 00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:36,120 Speaker 1: And so if if I can be successful in a 798 00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:39,359 Speaker 1: sport that is very hard to be to crack, if 799 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,960 Speaker 1: I could be one of the one of the players 800 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:43,839 Speaker 1: to get drafted out of four hundred and fifty, why 801 00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:45,680 Speaker 1: I could be one of the greatest players of all time, 802 00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,600 Speaker 1: then I know what it takes to be successful. I've 803 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:52,920 Speaker 1: already cracked that code. And so don't reinvent it. Just 804 00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:56,239 Speaker 1: take the lessons that you've learned alone this journey and 805 00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:59,520 Speaker 1: apply to them to you to this life. And That's 806 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,080 Speaker 1: what I'll try to do. And so for me, Jay, 807 00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:04,319 Speaker 1: if my jumper was off, if I didn't know how 808 00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:06,360 Speaker 1: to dribble, if I wanted to learn a move, I 809 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:07,960 Speaker 1: would go out. Or I want to get stronger, I'm 810 00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,040 Speaker 1: gonna go out and hire a trainer. I'm gonna go 811 00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:12,160 Speaker 1: out and hire somebody to help me right, fix that 812 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:14,600 Speaker 1: or work on this. So I'm gonna do the same 813 00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:16,480 Speaker 1: thing in this life. I'm gonna come out here and 814 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:19,440 Speaker 1: I'm gonna think, Okay, what is my trainer, therapist, trainer, 815 00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:23,040 Speaker 1: vocal coach, trainer. All these different people are trainers to 816 00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:26,200 Speaker 1: help me become the best version of me, same way 817 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,200 Speaker 1: I would have done on the basketball For now, That's 818 00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:32,920 Speaker 1: how I've decided to approach Yeah, the pregame of business 819 00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:36,640 Speaker 1: and you know, being doing Yeah, No, I love that. 820 00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:39,000 Speaker 1: What a great mindset. And I love the analogy with 821 00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:41,560 Speaker 1: the trainer. That's such a such a brilliant way of 822 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,600 Speaker 1: thinking about it. I have to ask you this because 823 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:46,799 Speaker 1: you know you have a whole section here that in 824 00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:50,719 Speaker 1: the book that's dedicated to Kobe Bryant. We will I 825 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:54,360 Speaker 1: was fortunate enough to interview him on the podcast. You 826 00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:56,440 Speaker 1: always said how much of a find you were, how 827 00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:59,000 Speaker 1: much you admired him, you had at a beautiful brotherhood 828 00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:02,400 Speaker 1: with him. Was what was the biggest thing that you 829 00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:05,200 Speaker 1: feel you took away a len from Kobe consciously or 830 00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:09,240 Speaker 1: unconsciously that you felt impacted you deeply till this day. 831 00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:12,880 Speaker 1: You know what, I think the basketball side of it 832 00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:19,040 Speaker 1: is watching someone who was has a God gifted ability, 833 00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:23,680 Speaker 1: like God blessed Kobe Bryants with so much ability, but 834 00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:26,640 Speaker 1: to be able to watch him work that ability, Yes, 835 00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:30,239 Speaker 1: like that right there. I've seen a lot of people 836 00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:33,480 Speaker 1: who has been gifted with just talent and they don't 837 00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:36,200 Speaker 1: do anything with it from the standpoint of working their talents. 838 00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:39,760 Speaker 1: And so to watch him as an athlete really get 839 00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:42,920 Speaker 1: the best out of all his God given ability, I mean, 840 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:48,480 Speaker 1: that's inspiring. But for me, watching Kobe Bryant retire was 841 00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:51,640 Speaker 1: probably the most impactful part of the whole journey. That's 842 00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:55,360 Speaker 1: for me. It hurt as having he was a leader, 843 00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:58,120 Speaker 1: Like I retired after him and I'm like, okay, I'm 844 00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:00,480 Speaker 1: gonna follow Kobe, like I'm gonna see what he doing it. 845 00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:04,040 Speaker 1: And we all like to have those people to chase, 846 00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:06,560 Speaker 1: and so he was that person that we can look 847 00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:08,839 Speaker 1: at and say, you can you can retire differently, you 848 00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:12,520 Speaker 1: can do this differently. You want to ask her? Well, 849 00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:15,160 Speaker 1: I think one or two years after retirement, like the 850 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:16,840 Speaker 1: things that he was a part of, the books that 851 00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:19,480 Speaker 1: he was writing, the universe he was taking us in, 852 00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:22,800 Speaker 1: I mean, the body armor of it all, it was amazing. 853 00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:24,880 Speaker 1: And so what I learned from him is that it 854 00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:28,759 Speaker 1: is another way to do it. It is greatness at 855 00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:33,040 Speaker 1: their basketball and you do not have to wait on it. Yeah, absolutely, 856 00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,279 Speaker 1: I think you know and I see that. You know, 857 00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:37,319 Speaker 1: I remember when when I when I interviewed him, I 858 00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:42,799 Speaker 1: remember he was so satisfied and peaceful and blessed in 859 00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:46,160 Speaker 1: your words, in retirement, there wasn't you know, there wasn't 860 00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:49,400 Speaker 1: this feeling. And I feel similar to talking to you today, 861 00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:53,799 Speaker 1: like you're joyful in retirement, you're excited, you're passionate, Like 862 00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:57,480 Speaker 1: you know, there's there's not a loss of that from 863 00:44:57,520 --> 00:45:00,279 Speaker 1: the loss of a part of your biggest ident entity 864 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:02,879 Speaker 1: that you've played in your life. Where has that come 865 00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:06,719 Speaker 1: from for you? Where is that starting from for you? 866 00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:09,880 Speaker 1: I see you today, like you know, we're laughing. There's passion, 867 00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:14,000 Speaker 1: there's drive, there's ambition, there's great parenting. There's all these 868 00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:16,719 Speaker 1: things that you're inspired by and growing for. And that 869 00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:20,319 Speaker 1: shows me that even though you've let go of the 870 00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:24,280 Speaker 1: longest part of your career identity, there's an identity beyond 871 00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:28,920 Speaker 1: that man that was Thank you for that. I you 872 00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:31,439 Speaker 1: know what, My wife makes fun of me all the time. 873 00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:36,279 Speaker 1: She says that I every morning I flee out of bed. 874 00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:42,520 Speaker 1: I'm talking about covers, back go and and my wife 875 00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:44,000 Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to stand it. Why are 876 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,840 Speaker 1: you so happy in the morning? And I'm like, because 877 00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:51,560 Speaker 1: every every day I wake up, I get to create something, 878 00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:57,040 Speaker 1: I get to imagine something, I get to inspire someone 879 00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:01,319 Speaker 1: Like I'm I'm I'm a little black kid from inny 880 00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:04,480 Speaker 1: city of Chicago. And that just got me. I just 881 00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:06,840 Speaker 1: got a little motion like like I'm a I'm a 882 00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:09,879 Speaker 1: black kid from any city of Chicago that no one's seen, 883 00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,799 Speaker 1: no one gave a chance to and to be able 884 00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:15,560 Speaker 1: to have the opportunity every day when I wake up, 885 00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:20,160 Speaker 1: and it's it's it's everything, Jesus Christ, that's right there. 886 00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:24,920 Speaker 1: It's crazy, you know, it's it's important. It's beautiful that 887 00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:26,839 Speaker 1: it comes through in the book. It comes through even 888 00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:28,720 Speaker 1: more when I'm speaking to you today. I've been watching 889 00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:31,399 Speaker 1: all your other interviews and I love seeing someone who 890 00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:35,719 Speaker 1: just is, you know, sharing that blessing with so much 891 00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:39,320 Speaker 1: grace and so it's really powerful and it's someone getting 892 00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:40,960 Speaker 1: a tissue on that side. I would give you one 893 00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:44,520 Speaker 1: if we were in passing. Man. That hit me. I 894 00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:46,440 Speaker 1: don't even know. I don't even I don't think I've 895 00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:50,240 Speaker 1: ever teared up besides one of the championship or TV 896 00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:52,759 Speaker 1: or you know, on any platform like this, like it was, 897 00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:55,239 Speaker 1: that's real. You know, I don't, I don't. I don't 898 00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:57,360 Speaker 1: know how. You know, people don't get a chance to 899 00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:58,680 Speaker 1: talk to a lot of little black kids in a 900 00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:01,879 Speaker 1: city of Chicago. They don't get a voice. You don't 901 00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:03,920 Speaker 1: get to hear their stories. You know, you get to 902 00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,840 Speaker 1: hear a little bit of oh it's gain infested, drug infested, 903 00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:09,399 Speaker 1: whatever the case may be. You don't get to really 904 00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:13,239 Speaker 1: hear their stories. Man. And it's not lost on me 905 00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:18,880 Speaker 1: that I was that kid. I can clearly remember little Duyne. 906 00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:22,279 Speaker 1: I can clearly remember. And so man, I'm just thankful. Bro. 907 00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:26,239 Speaker 1: I'm just really thankful for all the blessings, but most 908 00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:28,319 Speaker 1: importantly just to people I get to share it all with. 909 00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:29,920 Speaker 1: To me, that's everything