Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Democratic
Speaker 1: Party leadership in the House and the Senate has to go,
Speaker 1: and the leaders in the States have to get active
Speaker 1: or they have to go. And the first you can
Speaker 1: go is Gavin Newsom. You're out. I'll get to him.
Speaker 1: In a moment. During a pit stop at the Indianapolis
Speaker 1: five hundred car race in nineteen eighty one, some methanol
Speaker 1: was sprayed into and on driver Rick Mears and his crew,
Speaker 1: and suddenly there was literally an invisible fire. Methanol flame
Speaker 1: does not produce smoke. It is virtually invisible in sunlight.
Speaker 1: Rick Mears and his crew were on fire, and nobody
Speaker 1: could see it, literally invisible fire. People thought, perhaps they
Speaker 1: were kidding. Right now, this nation is on fire, also
Speaker 1: an invisible fire, and Democratic leadership is saying, oh no,
Speaker 1: it isn't because Akeem Jeffries and Gavin Newsom and the
Speaker 1: others can't e fing see it, or because they personally
Speaker 1: are not yet on fire yet yet, because Trump hasn't
Speaker 1: gotten to them yet to set them on fire. Axio
Speaker 1: supports that Jeffries, the Minority Whip Catherine Clark, and Caucus
Speaker 1: Chair Pete Aguiar, the top three Democrats in the House
Speaker 1: summoned a dozen rank and file members to what was
Speaker 1: called a come to Jesus meeting about the disruptions during
Speaker 1: Trump's I'm God Right speech last week. You're thinking Jeffries
Speaker 1: and Clark and Aguiar should have been awarding the disruptors
Speaker 1: medals of some kind, or maybe scolding them for not
Speaker 1: disrupting enough. No, sir, leadership is quote unhappy that congressmen
Speaker 1: and congresswomen who see the invisible fire consuming our nation
Speaker 1: had the audacity to react to it, raps like Jasmine Crockett,
Speaker 1: Maxwell Frost, Maxine Dexter of Oregon, Melanie Stansbury of New Mexico.
Speaker 1: You had a lot of nerve straying from our plan,
Speaker 1: Jeffries told them, and reminded them of his dear colleague
Speaker 1: letter he sent them before the speech, insisting on a
Speaker 1: quote strong, determined and dignified democratic presence in the chamber,
Speaker 1: and how they violated that by making themselves the story. Seriously,
Speaker 1: if it came, Jeffries thinks, limiting protests, holding up those
Speaker 1: pathetic little signs that they all had, and to what
Speaker 1: was called quote outfit coordination and refusal to clap on quote.
Speaker 1: If he thinks that was a sign of strength, or
Speaker 1: that it was determined, or that it was somehow dignified,
Speaker 1: he should be marched out of the House Chamber faster
Speaker 1: than al Green was, and in fact, Jeffrey should be
Speaker 1: marched out of the House Chamber by Democrats. They're not
Speaker 1: being talked to like they are children. One Democrat leaked
Speaker 1: to Axios for a story that made the protesters look
Speaker 1: like children. We are helping them understand why their strategy
Speaker 1: is a bad idea. Ah, I think I've just located
Speaker 1: the source of the problem here. Their strategy is not
Speaker 1: a bad idea, given that their strategy is, unlike the
Speaker 1: one apparently dreamed up by a Keem Jeffreys, an actual strategy,
Speaker 1: while the one dreamed up by a Keem Jeffries is
Speaker 1: holding up signs the size of ping pong paddles and
Speaker 1: not offending the dictator nor angering his Republican slave masters
Speaker 1: in the House. It doesn't surprise me. Leadership is very upset.
Speaker 1: They gave specific instructions not to do that, one anonymous
Speaker 1: Democrats said, showing exactly the lack of courage Trump is
Speaker 1: counting on. Trump will count on. Trump has always counted on.
Speaker 1: Would they have ever done that to Nancy Pelosi? You
Speaker 1: know the answer. Never. So you've got to put the
Speaker 1: hammer down. Yes, put the hammer down. Put the hammer
Speaker 1: down right on top of that anonymous Democrat's head. F
Speaker 1: him or her, f them. The country is on fire
Speaker 1: and Trump is doing his best, well, putin's best to
Speaker 1: next set the world on fire. And the keen Jeffries
Speaker 1: is worried about making sure his Democrats in the House
Speaker 1: are absolutely consistent in doing absolutely nothing about it. Invisible
Speaker 1: fire everywhere, and he has become a living meme. It's fine,
Speaker 1: he says from the table, sipping his coffee. And by
Speaker 1: the way, you invoke Nancy Pelosi to encourage this silent appeasement,
Speaker 1: this obeying in advance. What did Nancy Pelosi do again?
Speaker 1: After Trump's last State of the Union address in twenty twenty,
Speaker 1: she tore up her copy of his speech on camera,
Speaker 1: slowly and methodically. And do you remember that, or do
Speaker 1: you remember the Democratic response speech that followed Trump's State
Speaker 1: of the Union in twenty twenty, or who gave that
Speaker 1: speech or what that speech was about. I understand that
Speaker 1: democratic lawmakers are hamstrung. They don't know what to do
Speaker 1: at the moment. Democracy seems to be a bad campaign basis.
Speaker 1: They only have a few options at this point. They
Speaker 1: could literally act outside of the law, I suppose, since
Speaker 1: bribes by foreigners are no longer going to be investigated anywhere,
Speaker 1: you could get foreign billionaires to buy Republicans to vote
Speaker 1: to impeach Trump. I mean, it's one Republican, Michael, what
Speaker 1: could it cost ten million dollars? You could go a
Speaker 1: little bit more immediately and more direct. You could interrupt
Speaker 1: fascist rallies like Trump's next verbal version of mind komp
Speaker 1: with I don't know reasons to evacuate the area in
Speaker 1: which the speech is being given. That's probably contraindicated Democratic leadership,
Speaker 1: and Democrats could act symbolically and metaphorically and maybe get
Speaker 1: themselves punished inside the house or maybe even arrested by
Speaker 1: you know, getting up and leaving with Al Green when
Speaker 1: he is escorted out, or going along with the progressives
Speaker 1: who saying we shall overcome while this latest crazy Republican
Speaker 1: speaker Mike Johnson read out Green's censure motion. Or if
Speaker 1: they're not willing to do any of that, they can
Speaker 1: do whatever the hell teme Jeffries thinks he's doing, and
Speaker 1: I'm really not sure what holding up little paddles that
Speaker 1: make them all look like wile e Coyote in the
Speaker 1: road rudder cartoons with his signs reading help and that's
Speaker 1: all folks does. But I believe the technical term for
Speaker 1: what he's doing is I think this is the technical
Speaker 1: term nothing. While the nation burns invisibly by the way,
Speaker 1: Andy Ogles and insane man who represents Insane County is
Speaker 1: pushing privileged motions to remove all the protesting Democrats from
Speaker 1: their committee assignments. And you know, if the King Jeffries
Speaker 1: votes for those resolutions, I would only be mildly surprised, because,
Speaker 1: of course, ten Democrats in the House, elected as Democrats
Speaker 1: by Democratic voters, they voted with the Republicans to censure
Speaker 1: Al Green and they did this because, bluntly, these ten
Speaker 1: Democrats are assholes. Amy Barra asshole, Ed Case asshole, Jim asshole,
Speaker 1: Laura Gillen asshole, Jim Himes asshole, Chrissy Hulahan asshole, Marcy
Speaker 1: Capture asshole, Jared Moskowitz asshole, Marie Glusen camp Perez asshole,
Speaker 1: and Tom Swazi asshole. In fact, here's another asshole to
Speaker 1: take home with you. Some of those are not actually surprises.
Speaker 1: Swazi is nothing more than a weather vane, and a
Speaker 1: mediocre one. Marie Perez too. It's a shame about Jared Moskowitz.
Speaker 1: He's useful, he was great against Comer, He's funny, and
Speaker 1: if he apologizes, I would say he gets a second chance.
Speaker 1: It's a shame Marcy Capture wants to end her career
Speaker 1: siding with Nazis. But there you go out, all of
Speaker 1: them out. And if he doesn't figure out that the
Speaker 1: country is on fire, Jeffreys out. Because what Jeffrey should
Speaker 1: be doing is threatening to shut the goddamn House of
Speaker 1: Representatives down. If any of those measures to throw those
Speaker 1: dozen or so Democrats who sang off their committees passes,
Speaker 1: walk out before the CR vote, let the Republicans destroy
Speaker 1: themselves and Trump and the economy with no Democrats in
Speaker 1: the House. Get yourself arrested. If need be a king,
Speaker 1: do something. Christ at least hold that weekly news conference
Speaker 1: every Sunday morning, just to steal the narrative away from Trump.
Speaker 1: It's a meaningless press conference. It's a manipulation of the media.
Speaker 1: At least you could do that are you good at
Speaker 1: anything risk something risk as much as that old man
Speaker 1: from Texas with the Caine risk and the members of
Speaker 1: the Black Caucus who sang risked, I mean, goddamn it, Jeffreys.
Speaker 1: Last month, Jim McGovern of Massachusetts suggested there was a
Speaker 1: constitutional crisis and that the respond should be quote, maybe
Speaker 1: a national strike. Saturday he held a town hall in Holliston,
Speaker 1: mass and he brought it up again, a national strike.
Speaker 1: We can't just sit back and let our democracy just
Speaker 1: fall apart, says Congress from McGovern. I can imagine Jeffrey's
Speaker 1: response to that. We're not letting it fall apart. We
Speaker 1: have outfit coordination. We have our cute little auction house
Speaker 1: bitter paddles with strong words written on them, but not
Speaker 1: too strong. The inside, off the record response from the Democrats,
Speaker 1: from the leadership, from the old wise men and women
Speaker 1: of the party is that the Democrats just haven't coordinated
Speaker 1: a strategy of response to all this yet still flat
Speaker 1: footed after the election. The election was one hundred and
Speaker 1: twenty six days ago. In that time, Trump has given
Speaker 1: a line a budget veto to a white supremacist, and
Speaker 1: he's given your personal info to a stoned narcissist. He's
Speaker 1: dangled the prospect of war against Canada, Panama, Mexico and Denmark.
Speaker 1: He has imperiled Ukraine and all of Europe. He has
Speaker 1: followed Putin's instructions to the letter. He has begun the
Speaker 1: process of staying in office past his expiration date. What
Speaker 1: he has not yet broken, he has threatened to break.
Speaker 1: The King Jeffreys has bought pickleball paddles and coordinated outfits
Speaker 1: and yelled at the only Democrats actually merely doing something
Speaker 1: symbolic out get him out of here and the others. Ordinarily,
Speaker 1: you wait for the Vhy government to take shape after
Speaker 1: the Hitler has defeated the France. The King Jeffries has
Speaker 1: already surrendered. Al green for Democratic House leader, or or
Speaker 1: bring back Nancy and start tearing shit again. By the way,
Speaker 1: the answer to the trivia question was that the year
Speaker 1: Nancy tore up the copy of Trump's speech was twenty twenty,
Speaker 1: and the Democratic response was by Governor Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan,
Speaker 1: and it had an audience and I had to go
Speaker 1: look it up. When you have nothing but symbolism, do
Speaker 1: the symbolism. No to a Keem Jeffries, Yes to Nancy
Speaker 1: Pelosi and no, not to Gavin Newsom as the new
Speaker 1: face of the Democratic Party. Not at all. I'm not
Speaker 1: as shocked as many were that he's suddenly uncertain about
Speaker 1: transgendered scholastic athletes. The whole issue, all sides of it,
Speaker 1: whereas it has taken on tragic and meaningful proportions, is
Speaker 1: not in fact gigantic. There might be in this country
Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty students high school college to whom
Speaker 1: this applies. If the amount of time spent on this
Speaker 1: issue were devoted to the amount of time that would
Speaker 1: be required to resolve each of these situations inside the
Speaker 1: league or the organization in which they are unfolding, they
Speaker 1: could have been solved in about two weeks. Because it's
Speaker 1: not about transgendered athletes, Gavin. It's not about whether or
Speaker 1: not it's fair to the girls. They don't give a
Speaker 1: damn about girls sports. They're going to eliminate them next month.
Speaker 1: Gavin Newsom did not surprise me with that. He surprised
Speaker 1: me with something else. He really didn't surprise me with anything,
Speaker 1: because I met Kimberly Gilfoyle twenty years ago when she
Speaker 1: was trying to get a show at MSNBC when Newsom
Speaker 1: was still mayor of San Francisco and Kimberly Gilfoyle was
Speaker 1: still Gavin Newsom's wife, and my only thoughts were, this
Speaker 1: is his wife, that's who he married, this this idiot.
Speaker 1: And the other thought was the dialogue from the movie
Speaker 1: The Graduate when the old guy mister maguire at the
Speaker 1: graduation party has that conversation that career advice with Dustin
Speaker 1: Hoffman and he says, I want to say one word
Speaker 1: to you, just one word, and Dustin Hoffman is Benjamin
Speaker 1: says yes sir, and mister McGuire says, are you listening,
Speaker 1: and Benjamin says, yes, yes I am, and mister McGuire
Speaker 1: says plastics. Newsom has given me another one of those
Speaker 1: first moments, not the Plastics moments, but you know, the
Speaker 1: he married this idiot. Newsom did a podcast with Charlie
Speaker 1: Kirk that's where the quote about transgendered athletes comes from,
Speaker 1: and he agreed with Charlie Kirk that there's an issue
Speaker 1: with transgendered athletes. He agreed with Charlie Kirk, racist, sexist, monstrous,
Speaker 1: Charlie Kirk to what point to try to get the
Speaker 1: vote from that vast middle out there, the middle between
Speaker 1: what Gavin Nazis who want to kill all the non
Speaker 1: Nazis and Nazis who merely want to imprison all the
Speaker 1: nun on Nazis. Is that your wheelhouse for the nomination
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty eight? And then it turned out, at
Speaker 1: least according to Kirk, that the podcast was arranged by
Speaker 1: Kim Gilfoyle. Kirk told the Fox station in La quote,
Speaker 1: I got a phone call from Governor Knew some two
Speaker 1: weeks ago. We connected through Kimberly Gilfoil. Obviously they have
Speaker 1: a shared past. So not only are you still working
Speaker 1: with Kirk, but you reached out via Kim Gilfoil because
Speaker 1: Lara Trump was unavailable. Alina Hobo wouldn't take your call.
Speaker 1: Kirk had another quote, this is another non surprise. This
Speaker 1: is a guy who wants to be president more than
Speaker 1: any other human being alive. Well that's not true. There's
Speaker 1: still Trump. But Gavin, if Kirk's right, by advice to
Speaker 1: you is this, get jd Vance to resign, Get Trump
Speaker 1: to appoint you vice president. Because even today, even now,
Speaker 1: to get the Democratic nomination for president, you have to
Speaker 1: have a minimum of one scruple, just one. I mean,
Speaker 1: here is where we are in this country. Josh Marshall's
Speaker 1: site TPM has gotten an email from management at the
Speaker 1: US African Development Foundation to the White House Presidential Personnel
Speaker 1: Office about the appointment of the acting chair of the
Speaker 1: Foundation's board. Seems like trivia, seems like legales, and it
Speaker 1: in fact is the next thing they are going to
Speaker 1: do to destroy the country. It gets around the reality
Speaker 1: that in this case, Trump's choice could never get confirmed
Speaker 1: by the Senate for this acting chair or full time
Speaker 1: chair of the foundational board. So the Foundation's solution, memorialized
Speaker 1: in an email to the White House Presidential Personnel Office,
Speaker 1: is very simple, the Foundation solution and Trump end Senate
Speaker 1: confirmation of presidential appointments. This email begins, quote, given the
Speaker 1: president's inability to supervise the activities of the board less USADF,
Speaker 1: he has inherent authority. Those are the keywords, inherent authority
Speaker 1: to designate an acting chairman of the board, and it
Speaker 1: ends quote. The President currently has no way of ensuring
Speaker 1: the agency is running or complying with his executive order
Speaker 1: unless he directs and temporary official using inherent authority under
Speaker 1: Article two bingo, you heard me. The next Trump maneuver
Speaker 1: will be that Senate approval of his appointments is unconstitutional
Speaker 1: according to the inherent authority in Article two, President B
Speaker 1: King advise and consent. This eliminate just restraints on Trump,
Speaker 1: no also eliminate criticism of him and questions to him.
Speaker 1: Eliminate the slightest protest by the outside world, whether it
Speaker 1: is Al Green swinging his cane, or a Keem Jeffery
Speaker 1: swinging his bat with the paddle ball attached to it
Speaker 1: by string, or just some senator asking a question about
Speaker 1: who this idiot is he wants to appoint to run
Speaker 1: the board of the USADF. And that's another reason why
Speaker 1: Al Green's mid speech protest was so essential. Trump long
Speaker 1: ago figured out that the easiest way to avoid criticism
Speaker 1: was to avoid critics. Keep the critics out out of
Speaker 1: your rallies, out of your speeches, out of your cabinet,
Speaker 1: out of your party, out of your sight. But there's
Speaker 1: one hole in that wall. You can't keep them out
Speaker 1: of your speeches. To Congress, Democrats at Trump's speeches, and
Speaker 1: the media at Trump events are literally the last people
Speaker 1: in this country, the last handful of people who pierce
Speaker 1: Trump's bubble. In the slightest al Green voiced opposition and criticism,
Speaker 1: and Trump almost imperceptibly has moved from being convinced he
Speaker 1: has overwhelming support to convincing himself he has nothing but support,
Speaker 1: to convincing himself that he has a complete mandate and
Speaker 1: is already king, to never even hearing any more criticism,
Speaker 1: to punishing the critics, to making critics and criticism of
Speaker 1: him illegal. That is the path. That's why the individual
Speaker 1: boycotts of his speech to Congress a week ago were
Speaker 1: well intentioned but stupid. That's why even the little ping
Speaker 1: pong ball paddles were better. That's why democratic leadership should
Speaker 1: have walked out with al Green, not warned others never
Speaker 1: to do anything again without written permission of a game Jeffreys.
Speaker 1: Most of them are of at best dubious value as
Speaker 1: elected congressmen and senators, utterly fungible, several buildings full of
Speaker 1: Tom Swazis. But as the last Americans allowed to literally
Speaker 1: speak truth to power. Their job is to interrupt Trump.
Speaker 1: Their job is to interrupt his feedback loop. Their job
Speaker 1: is to shake him and enrage him and provoke him.
Speaker 1: Their job is to use their right to shout cat
Speaker 1: calls from the Congressional Peanut Gallery until Trump eliminates the
Speaker 1: Congressional Peanut Gallery by eliminating Congress. They have to do
Speaker 1: this because when he eliminates Congress, all we will have
Speaker 1: left is the media. And I know it's a surprise
Speaker 1: to you that we still have media. I wouldn't have
Speaker 1: noticed either. Funniest dog one thing. Trump announced he was
Speaker 1: going to get tough on Russia and there'd be sanctions
Speaker 1: on Russia, and he would pressure Russia to settle with Ukraine.
Speaker 1: And then he cut off Ukraine's access to US satellite imagery.
Speaker 1: And then the Russians doubled the amount of bombs they
Speaker 1: were dropping onto Ukraine, and then the accuracy of those
Speaker 1: drops suddenly doubled two as if they were getting locations
Speaker 1: and other targeting information from American companies. And then NBC
Speaker 1: reported yesterday that even if Zelensky signs a rare Earth
Speaker 1: deal today, that does not mean Trump will restore American
Speaker 1: aid to Ukraine. He wants Zelensky to move towards resigning
Speaker 1: and holding elections. And yes, Trump's people have been caught
Speaker 1: talking to the opposition parties in Ukraine. You know the
Speaker 1: ones favored by Putin. Oh, and yes, he signs the
Speaker 1: Rare Earths and Minerals deal and seeds all the territory
Speaker 1: Russia wants. And after all that, the media is still
Speaker 1: reporting Trump is going to get tough on Russia about Ukraine,
Speaker 1: and there'll be sanctions on Russia. And he's pressuring Russia
Speaker 1: because the media now sucks. The only people who have
Speaker 1: not been muzzled or self muzzled are the ones who
Speaker 1: are too stupid to do the job well in the
Speaker 1: first place. And just when you are ready to give
Speaker 1: up on these idiots, you remember, oh my god, they
Speaker 1: are idiots, but they are our idiots, and they are
Speaker 1: the only idiots we have left. And you remember that
Speaker 1: Trump hates them more than we do, only he is
Speaker 1: hunting them now. I got scoffing blowback from last Thursday's podcast,
Speaker 1: especially the title Trump's plan to make it illegal to
Speaker 1: criticize him and his hunta. And I'd like to apologize
Speaker 1: for that title because it wasn't strong enough. The title
Speaker 1: should have been Trump's plan to make it illegal to
Speaker 1: criticize him and his hunta. And the media is collaborating
Speaker 1: so fast it may happen before summer. President, since you must.
Speaker 2: Talk about it yesterday, detail about if there happening.
Speaker 1: Bob Moskins, cautious secretary of.
Speaker 2: Movie, own secretary of no clash.
Speaker 1: I was there.
Speaker 2: You're just a trouble mecare and you're not supposed to
Speaker 2: be asking that question because we're talking about the World Cup.
Speaker 2: Gets along great with Marco and they both are fantastic.
Speaker 2: You have there is no clash Presidents inc. I'm wonder's
Speaker 2: NBC any of the questions of.
Speaker 1: The World Cup to I can't imagine why Trump got
Speaker 1: away with telling a reporter you're not supposed to ask
Speaker 1: that question. Maybe it's because when he expelled the Associated
Speaker 1: Press from the White House, not one other news organization,
Speaker 1: not one did anything about it. Nobody did a thing,
Speaker 1: even when simple self defense should have told the White
Speaker 1: House car Respondence Association to walk out on Moss that day.
Speaker 1: And maybe it's because when the White House Correspondence Association
Speaker 1: did not walk out on Moss that day, Trump knew
Speaker 1: he could take away its right to select the pool
Speaker 1: reporters and they again would not walk out on Moss.
Speaker 1: When he did that, he could threaten them with expulsion
Speaker 1: from the White House the way you just heard him
Speaker 1: do it to the NBC guide just there, without saying it,
Speaker 1: just by implying it and knowing the White Correspondence Association
Speaker 1: would do nothing. He also knew he could do that
Speaker 1: to mister NBC reporter there because v she Joe Scarborough
Speaker 1: and missus vsh Joe went to Mari Lago and begged
Speaker 1: for what passes for their pathetic professional lives. And he
Speaker 1: knew he could do that to NBC going forward, because
Speaker 1: NBC immediately spun off MSNBC as fast as they could
Speaker 1: file the business paperwork, and MSNBC then fired or demoted
Speaker 1: all of its hosts of color, and Trump would never
Speaker 1: have to explolicitly threatened NBC ever again. Okay, maybe you'd
Speaker 1: have to threaten them again once.
Speaker 2: Frankly, what Nicole Wallace said, I've never been a fan
Speaker 2: of hers, and she's not very talented, but i'll tell
Speaker 2: you what she said the other day about that young
Speaker 2: man is disgraceful. She should be forced to resign, and
Speaker 2: Rachel Mattow should be forced to resign. Nobody watches her anyway.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's not possible they pay her
Speaker 2: as much money as I hear, but certainly she's lost
Speaker 2: all credibility, both of them.
Speaker 1: But would they said the other day they should be
Speaker 1: forced to resign? Thank you again, Joe Scarborough. Joe Scarborough is,
Speaker 1: as hl Mankin would have phrased, it not worth the
Speaker 1: oil with which to fry him in hell. You know
Speaker 1: my criticisms of Rachel Matdow ten million, Joe Scarborough's are
Speaker 1: not worth one Rachel Maddow. I'm sure though, when push
Speaker 1: comes to shove, NBC will defend her and Wallace and
Speaker 1: its White House reporter or that guy who is probably
Speaker 1: by now it's ex White House reporter and not the
Speaker 1: shady ex congressman who has gone from Trump critic to
Speaker 1: Trumps sanitizer, to would be Trump Vice president to never Trumper,
Speaker 1: to welcome her of Trump insect overlords, and has done
Speaker 1: all this in literally one decade. Laws against deep fakes
Speaker 1: that can be converted into laws against anti Trump videos,
Speaker 1: laws against campus protests nominally about the Middle East that
Speaker 1: can be converted into laws against campus protests about him,
Speaker 1: And the saddest part is none of these refined laws
Speaker 1: directed at the media directed at protests may be necessary
Speaker 1: because the media will have killed itself first. Quote. I
Speaker 1: am a member of several Tesla owner forums where widespread
Speaker 1: reports of similar attacks are being shared. Begins a post
Speaker 1: at a Facebook site user named Mike Miller, who knows
Speaker 1: if it's real, copying a letter he claims to have
Speaker 1: sent to his California congressman garrim Mendi. Quote. Owners are
Speaker 1: facing physical threats, vandalism, and intimidation simply because of their
Speaker 1: vehicle choice. Reports in the media highlight incidents of Tesla
Speaker 1: charging stations being burned, Tesla service centers being vandalized, and
Speaker 1: Tesla vehicles being spray painted or otherwise damaged. Unfortunately, law
Speaker 1: enforcement often has limited ability to hold perpetrators accountable. By
Speaker 1: the way, certainly that's not because the inpetrators got away
Speaker 1: in their Tesla vehicles. This is not just an issue
Speaker 1: of property damage. It is an issue of safety and
Speaker 1: targeted aggression. I urge you to consider legislative action that
Speaker 1: would increase penalties for these acts, potentially classifying them as
Speaker 1: hate crimes or enhancing legal consequences for individuals who engage
Speaker 1: in such behavior. You heard him, hate crimes he wants
Speaker 1: and again it could be a troll. Everybody who responded
Speaker 1: to him was in atrol. Everybody who said, yes, let's
Speaker 1: make it a hate crime. He wants any damage to
Speaker 1: a Tesla vehicle or a facility, or especially Seibetwak prosecuted
Speaker 1: as a hate crime. This is how far the madness
Speaker 1: of America twenty twenty five has gone. Protections for transgendered
Speaker 1: people erased and the debate over it endorsed by the
Speaker 1: governor of California who claims to be a Democrat and
Speaker 1: is still talking to that crazy woman Guilfoyle. Protections for
Speaker 1: transgendered people erased, the history of violence against blacks erased
Speaker 1: from government websites, libraries closed, history whitewashed, the interruption of
Speaker 1: a presidential speech, which is a Republican invention, incidentally interrupting
Speaker 1: a presidential speech bringing censure and possible removal from committees
Speaker 1: and ten Democrats supporting it. But if somebody writes, f
Speaker 1: you Musk with their finger on the dust on the
Speaker 1: back of your cyber truck, that should be a hate crime. Problem,
Speaker 1: of course, is what under hate crime statutes could you
Speaker 1: charge Musk with when he blows up another one of
Speaker 1: his own rockets like last week. Sadly we go from
Speaker 1: the ridiculous to the sublime. The New York Times has
Speaker 1: published a massive history of Sullivan, the Supreme Court case
Speaker 1: with which it was involved that is the protection for
Speaker 1: almost all journalistic investigations of and criticisms of elected officials
Speaker 1: and prominent public figures. The essence of Sullivan is that
Speaker 1: to be guilty of defamation or libel, a news organization
Speaker 1: has to be proved to be guilty of actual malice,
Speaker 1: knowingly printing falsehoods designed to damage a public or governmental figure.
Speaker 1: After laudable but probably way too detailed history of the ruling,
Speaker 1: the Times finally gets around the shattering conclusion paragraph nine
Speaker 1: thousand or so, that there are already two Supreme Court
Speaker 1: justices willing to hear a case that could repeal Sullivan,
Speaker 1: Gorstch and Thomas, and all you need is two more
Speaker 1: and Sullivan will be re litigated by an utterly compromised court,
Speaker 1: a Supreme Court that is itself a constitutional crisis. Worse hill,
Speaker 1: The Times peace concludes that the likeliest paintiff in such
Speaker 1: a case would be Trump, that his frivolous lawsuits against
Speaker 1: CNN and the ABC Stephanopoulos case about his quoting of
Speaker 1: the word rape and the stupid CBS lawsuit about the
Speaker 1: sixty minutes interview of Kamala Harris. Those are actually attempts
Speaker 1: on Trump's behalf, or maybe by him, if he's sane
Speaker 1: for an hour, to get one of his lawsuits in
Speaker 1: front of his Supreme Court to overturn Sullivan, and again
Speaker 1: not exactly being secretive about it. No stealth here. After
Speaker 1: he lost his twenty twenty two defamation case against CNN,
Speaker 1: Trump appealed last year, and his lawyers wrote, quote, Plaintiff
Speaker 1: respectfully requests that the court revisit the actual malice standard
Speaker 1: under New York Times v. Sullivan. New York Times v. Sullivan.
Speaker 1: Maybe that means they're going to try to repeal New
Speaker 1: York Times be Sullivan. No, it's not possible. If Sullivan disappeared,
Speaker 1: How much of the already terrified American news media run
Speaker 1: by shitthead billionaires would disappear with it? How shaky is
Speaker 1: the ground on which Sullivan stands? Well, if you'd really
Speaker 1: like to not sleep tonight. The Times notes that thirty
Speaker 1: two years ago, an academic paper was written by an
Speaker 1: assistant law professor at a Midwestern university which questioned the
Speaker 1: broadness of Sullivan, which questioned, especially how much it limited
Speaker 1: non governmental public figures from suing news outlets for damage,
Speaker 1: how it could someday if left to its own devices,
Speaker 1: tabloid eyes mainstream news, even though even thirty two years
Speaker 1: ago that had long since happened. The assistant professor with
Speaker 1: the nineteen ninety three doubts about Sullivan is still a
Speaker 1: prominent legal figure in twenty twenty five. Her name is
Speaker 1: Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan. And unless she's changed her mind,
Speaker 1: we're all in a boatload of trouble. Also of interest
Speaker 1: here in speaking of which, Gavin Newsom embraces Charlie Kirk
Speaker 1: and Stephen A. Smith. Sorry, that's President Stephen A. Smith.
Speaker 1: Ask him he's reluctant to run, but ask him if
Speaker 1: he's going to run and make the great sacrifice. Gavin
Speaker 1: Newsom embraces Charlie Kirk and Stephen A. President Smith embraces
Speaker 1: Candae Owens. And that sound you heard is not the
Speaker 1: Overton window shifting. It's the Overton window being dropped by
Speaker 1: the movers and shattering into a million pieces on the
Speaker 1: effing floor. That's next. This is countdown. This is countdown,
Speaker 1: with Keith Olberman still ahead on this edition of Countdown,
Speaker 1: the newspaper The Columbus Dispatch notifies us that Thurber House,
Speaker 1: the museum former Thurber family home, the literary nonprofit operation
Speaker 1: supporting writers and perpetuating the work of America's most versatile
Speaker 1: humorist and satirist, is in financial trouble needs two hundred
Speaker 1: thousand to keep going, in large part because fewer and
Speaker 1: fewer people know who James Thurber was. I have done
Speaker 1: my best to keep him prominent. We had a brief
Speaker 1: recive's urgents when I used to read his stories on TV.
Speaker 1: But here I have failed him. I haven't done one
Speaker 1: Thurber story since we switched to two podcasts a week.
Speaker 1: So in hopes that you will help bring him front
Speaker 1: of mind again, I will bring you today not just one,
Speaker 1: but two Thurbers, and not just two Thurbers, but my
Speaker 1: favorite Thurber and my late father's favorite Thurber story. Fitting
Speaker 1: since this Thursday, it will have been fifteen years since
Speaker 1: my father died, and I was reading it to him
Speaker 1: when he died. Now, honestly, it went better than that.
Speaker 1: Souths James Thurber forever first, believe it or not, There's
Speaker 1: still more new idiots to talk about. The Roundup of
Speaker 1: the miscrants, morons, and Dunning Kruger effects specimens who constitute
Speaker 1: two Day's other worst persons in the world. And this
Speaker 1: episode is dedicated to the new rule they are experimenting
Speaker 1: with in baseball spring training, the automatic Balls and Strikes system,
Speaker 1: in which a batter, catcher, or pitcher can appeal the
Speaker 1: umpire's ball or strike call and you get a computerized
Speaker 1: review in like fifteen seconds on the scoreboard. I like it.
Speaker 1: It's terrific, but I think they may have to change
Speaker 1: the name because it's already known by its acronym. It
Speaker 1: is the ABS system, which, if you were mean spirited
Speaker 1: and I am, you could alter your pronunciation of that
Speaker 1: and simply call it a BS system. Fix the acronym anyway.
Speaker 1: Here the nominees the Bronze Worse once again, Stephen A. Smith.
Speaker 1: I hope he has learned that getting into politics means
Speaker 1: more than putting your fingers to your lips pensively and
Speaker 1: trying to look serious, but I don't think so. ESPN
Speaker 1: is giving him, reportedly a five year, one hundred million
Speaker 1: dollar new contract, and cool. I am all for the
Speaker 1: talent having the money, and the owners not having the
Speaker 1: money should have held out for one hundred and one million,
Speaker 1: my friend. But part of this deal will allow Stephen
Speaker 1: to talk even more politics in venues other than ESPN.
Speaker 1: And I swear to you when I was at ESPN,
Speaker 1: I insisted that I would not and should not be
Speaker 1: allowed to do it. Nobody else should be allowed to
Speaker 1: do politics in other venues while doing sports at ESPN.
Speaker 1: Not don't, and I didn't. We did this at MSNBC
Speaker 1: and on NBC Football Night in America years ago, ending
Speaker 1: in two thousand and nine, twenty ten, And basically that
Speaker 1: was the last time it didn't end in utter disaster.
Speaker 1: Even before that, Rush Limbaugh tried it and it ended
Speaker 1: in utter disaster. And it ended in utter disaster at ESPN.
Speaker 1: This with Stephen a will end in tears, especially if
Speaker 1: Steven lets himself get played like a two dollars banjo
Speaker 1: every time he steps into the arena. This is him
Speaker 1: about an interview guest on one of his podcasts quote,
Speaker 1: and I'll spare you my impression of him. When that
Speaker 1: young lady speaks, don't even think about challenging her intelligence.
Speaker 1: Don't even think about challenging her ability to articulate her
Speaker 1: point of view. You better know what the hell you're
Speaker 1: talking about when you come at her. That's what I
Speaker 1: take away just as much as anything else. You get
Speaker 1: the idea that Stephen is paid by the word. I
Speaker 1: can't wait until she and I sit face to face
Speaker 1: one day and bolly back and forth about what we feel,
Speaker 1: what we believe, what we stand for, and why. Because
Speaker 1: I'm certainly different than her when it comes to some
Speaker 1: political position She's taken and beyond, there is no doubt
Speaker 1: about that. But I can't deny she's sharp as attack,
Speaker 1: and you damn well better be if you're going to
Speaker 1: come for her. Because ladies and gentlemen, this went on
Speaker 1: for another seventeen days. Who is she is he talking about?
Speaker 1: Who is the she in this equation? Candace Owens? Candace
Speaker 1: Effing Owens, the woman that the fascist site The Daily
Speaker 1: Wire fired because they said she was too anti Semitic
Speaker 1: even for them. Candace Effing Owens, who ten years ago
Speaker 1: was writing about quote the batshit crazy antics of the
Speaker 1: Republican Tea Party, and then she discovered the real money
Speaker 1: was being one off of the batshit crazy Republican Tea Party. Stephen,
Speaker 1: if you want to cover politics or run for office,
Speaker 1: pro tip, take some of that one hundred million dollars
Speaker 1: and buy a guide dog the runner up or sir elong,
Speaker 1: I'm just going to quote Politico about Musk. Here. Elon
Speaker 1: Musk defended himself to a room full of House Republicans
Speaker 1: saying that he can't bat a thousand all the time.
Speaker 1: According to four people present for his remarks, Okay, I
Speaker 1: realize Elon is an immigrant, possibly an immigrant who gained
Speaker 1: the system and the laws and has no right to
Speaker 1: be here. I don't know, and he probably was impaired
Speaker 1: when he said that, so he doesn't exactly get you know,
Speaker 1: America or American things like baseball. But let me revisit
Speaker 1: that one phrase in there where he said he quote
Speaker 1: can't bat a thousand all the time. In point of fact,
Speaker 1: to bat a thousand, to have a baseball batting average
Speaker 1: of a thousand that is one point zero zero zero.
Speaker 1: That means you are batting one thousand all the time.
Speaker 1: It means you did not make any outs, no mistakes,
Speaker 1: nothing but hits. There are no degrees of batting a thousand.
Speaker 1: If you don't bat a thousand all the time, you
Speaker 1: are instead batting nine eighty nine or something. Because the
Speaker 1: world divides into just two categories e long batting one
Speaker 1: thousand and not batting a thousand and guess which category
Speaker 1: you fall into, you torp. Also, Elon is not batting
Speaker 1: nine eighty nine or something. He's batting about ninety one.
Speaker 1: But our winner the worst the Prime Minister of New Zealand,
Speaker 1: Christopher Luxon. Now New Zealand used to have a thoughtful, brilliant, brave, humane,
Speaker 1: though sometimes unintelligible because of that accent, prime minister named
Speaker 1: Jacinda Ardern. Now it has a bald right winger named Luxon.
Speaker 1: New z Willand's senior envoy to the United Kingdom, former
Speaker 1: head of their Labor Party, Phil Goff, got up an
Speaker 1: event in London after Trump started his war crimes against
Speaker 1: Zelenski and Ukraine, and mister Goff compared what Trump did
Speaker 1: to what the British government and Prime Minister Nevil Chamberlain
Speaker 1: and the then outsider Winston Churchill did after Chamberlain sold
Speaker 1: out Czechoslovakia to Hitler at Munich in nineteen thirty eight.
Speaker 1: Mister Goff said, quote, President Trump has restored the bust
Speaker 1: of Churchill to the Oval Office, but do you think
Speaker 1: he really understands history Goff then quoted Churchill to Chamberlain
Speaker 1: and his government in Parliament after the infamous war starting
Speaker 1: betrayal of Czechoslovakia, quote, you had the choice between war
Speaker 1: and dishonor you chose dishonor yet you will have war.
Speaker 1: New Zealand's Foreign Minister, Winston Peters, who turns eighty next
Speaker 1: month and is the head of New Zealand, first immediately
Speaker 1: fired mister Goff. His Prime Minister Luxem, who he did
Speaker 1: not inform of the firing, backed him up. Why did
Speaker 1: they fire Golf because diplomats are supposed to talk diplomatically.
Speaker 1: It sounds like mister Luxan could be running the Democratic
Speaker 1: Party in this country anyway. Before he became Prime Minister
Speaker 1: of New Zealand, Luxon was on the Unilever Company executive ladder,
Speaker 1: where he rose to the position of swear. I swear
Speaker 1: this is true. He was director of the global deodorance
Speaker 1: and grooming category. All right, which part of that sounds
Speaker 1: the most embarrassing? And what do you do for the
Speaker 1: company here? I'm in charge of grooming. What do you
Speaker 1: do for the company here? I'm in charge of global deodorance.
Speaker 1: All the deodorans in the world I know that's more
Speaker 1: of an Australian accent. I apologize New Zealand. Now this
Speaker 1: is bad enough. GoF is quoting Winston Churchill, is pointing
Speaker 1: out reality and is doing what real political leaders they
Speaker 1: are supposed to do, giving a middle finger to desk
Speaker 1: spots like Donald Trump. And they fired him for making
Speaker 1: New zealand diplomatic efforts look bad in England. But just
Speaker 1: to add to this, he was fired for doing what
Speaker 1: I did after the Trump ambush of Zelenski quoting Winston
Speaker 1: Churchill and you had the choice between war and dishonor
Speaker 1: you chose dishonor yet you will have war. So I'm
Speaker 1: taking this personally. Bro New Zealand's Prime Minister Christopher, you
Speaker 1: need more global deodorance because your spit does two stink
Speaker 1: lux on two days. Other worst person and Lord, as
Speaker 1: I've mentioned many times, I read this story first aloud
Speaker 1: in a class in college in nineteen seventy nine, and
Speaker 1: a friend of mine came up to me and said,
Speaker 1: you should forget that sportscasting thing. You should read Thurber
Speaker 1: for a living, and I said, yeah, that'll ever happen.
Speaker 1: This is, for some reason salvation for me. Catharsis, and
Speaker 1: every other emotion that is appropriate after it has been
Speaker 1: a long week. A Box to Hide In by James Thurber.
Speaker 1: I waited till the large woman with the awful hat
Speaker 1: took up her sack of groceries and went out, peering
Speaker 1: at the tomatoes and the lettuce on her way. The
Speaker 1: clerk asked me what mine was. Have you got a box,
Speaker 1: I asked, A large box. I want a box to
Speaker 1: hide in. You want a box, he asked, I want
Speaker 1: a box to hide in. I said, what do you mean?
Speaker 1: He said, you mean a big box. I said, I
Speaker 1: meant a big box, big enough to hold me. I
Speaker 1: haven't got any boxes, he said, only cottons that cans
Speaker 1: come in. I tried several other groceries, and none of
Speaker 1: them had a box big enough for me to hide in.
Speaker 1: There was nothing for it but to face life out.
Speaker 1: I didn't feel strong, and I'd had this overpowering desire
Speaker 1: to hide in a box for a long time. Well,
Speaker 1: what do you mean you want to hide in this box?
Speaker 1: One grocer asked me. It's a form of escape. I
Speaker 1: told him, hiding in a box. It circumscribes your worries
Speaker 1: in the range of your anguish. You don't see people either.
Speaker 1: How the hell do you eat when you're in this box,
Speaker 1: asked the grocer. How don't the hell do you get
Speaker 1: anything to eat? I said I had never been in
Speaker 1: a box and didn't know, but that that would take
Speaker 1: care of itself. Well, he said, finally, I haven't got
Speaker 1: any boxes, only some pasteboard curtains that cans come in.
Speaker 1: It was the same every place. I gave up when
Speaker 1: it got dark and the groceries closed, and hid in
Speaker 1: my room again. I turned out the light and lay
Speaker 1: on the bed. You feel better when it gets dark.
Speaker 1: I could have hit in a closet, I suppose, but
Speaker 1: people are always opening doors. Somebody would find you in
Speaker 1: a closet. They would be startled, and you'd have to
Speaker 1: tell them why you're in the closet. Nobody pays attention
Speaker 1: to a big box lying on the floor. You could
Speaker 1: stay in it for days and nobody'd think to look
Speaker 1: in it, not even the cleaning woman. My cleaning woman
Speaker 1: came the next morning and woke me up, and I
Speaker 1: was still feeling bad. I asked her if she knew
Speaker 1: where I could get a large box. How big a
Speaker 1: box you want? She asked, I want a box big
Speaker 1: enough for me to get inside of, I said. She
Speaker 1: looked at me with big dim eyes. There's something wrong
Speaker 1: with her glands. She's awful, but she has a big heart,
Speaker 1: which makes it worse. She's unbearable. Her husband is sick,
Speaker 1: and her children are sick, and she is sick too.
Speaker 1: I got to thinking how pleasant it would be if
Speaker 1: I were in a box now and didn't have to
Speaker 1: see her. I'd be in a box right there in
Speaker 1: the room, and she wouldn't know. I wondered, if you
Speaker 1: had a desire to bark or laugh when someone who
Speaker 1: doesn't know walks by the box you were in, maybe
Speaker 1: she would have a spell with her heart. If I
Speaker 1: did that would die right there. The officers and the
Speaker 1: elevator man and mister Grammage would find us funny. Dog gone,
Speaker 1: thing happened at the building last night. The doorman would
Speaker 1: say to his wife, I led in this woman to
Speaker 1: clean up ten f and she never come out. See
Speaker 1: she's never in there more in an hour, but she
Speaker 1: never come out. See when got time for me to
Speaker 1: go off duty? Why, I says to Credic, who was
Speaker 1: on the elevator, I says, what the hell you suppose
Speaker 1: happened to that woman cleans tenf. He says he didn't know.
Speaker 1: He says he never seen her after he took her up.
Speaker 1: So I spoke to mister Grammage about it. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: to bother you, mister Grammage, I says, but there's something
Speaker 1: funny about that woman cleans tenf. So I told him
Speaker 1: so he said we better have a look, and we
Speaker 1: all three goes up and knuts on the door and
Speaker 1: rings the bells, seeing nobody answers, so he said we'd
Speaker 1: have to walk in. So Crenic opened the door and
Speaker 1: we walked in and here was this woman cleans the apartment,
Speaker 1: dead as a herring on the floor, and the gentleman
Speaker 1: that lives there was in a box. The cleaning woman
Speaker 1: kept looking at me. It was hard to realize she
Speaker 1: wasn't dead. It's a form of escape, I murmured, wat say.
Speaker 1: She asked, Dully, you don't know of any large packing boxes,
Speaker 1: do you? I asked, now, I don't. She said, I
Speaker 1: haven't found one yet, But I still have this overpowering
Speaker 1: urge to hide in a box. Maybe it will go away,
Speaker 1: maybe I'll be all right, Maybe it will get worse.
Speaker 1: It's hard to say. A Box to Hide In by
Speaker 1: James Thurber, and I don't know when I went to
Speaker 1: Sullivan became my father's favorite Thurber story. I suspect it
Speaker 1: was in the hospital when I was reading to him
Speaker 1: in the last six months of his life. I know
Speaker 1: I read it to him at least half a dozen times,
Speaker 1: the first five by his request. The last time he
Speaker 1: did not request it, in fact, and this is the
Speaker 1: most perverse kind of compliment I think any restriter has
Speaker 1: ever received. I read this story to him. It was
Speaker 1: the last thing that I read to him. In fact,
Speaker 1: it was the last thing he did on earth, was
Speaker 1: to listen to this story in a state of semi consciousness.
Speaker 1: He waited till the end of it. He took one deep,
Speaker 1: satisfied breath, and he died. I don't recommend this, but
Speaker 1: I think it does speak to the quality of the writing.
Speaker 1: I went to Sullivant by James Thurber. I was reminded
Speaker 1: the other morning by what I don't remember, and it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, of a crisp September morning last year when
Speaker 1: I went to the Grand Central to see a little
Speaker 1: boy of ten get excitedly on a special coach that
Speaker 1: was to take him to a boys' school somewhere north
Speaker 1: of Boston. He had never been away to school before.
Speaker 1: The coach was squirming with youngsters. You could tell after
Speaker 1: a while the novitiates shining and tremulous and a little
Speaker 1: awed from the more aloof boys who had been away
Speaker 1: to school before. But they were very much alike at glance.
Speaker 1: There was for me, in case you thought I was
Speaker 1: leading up to that, no sharp feeling of old lost
Speaker 1: years in the tense atmosphere of that coach. Because I
Speaker 1: never went away to a private school when I was
Speaker 1: a little boy. I went to Sullivant School in Columbus.
Speaker 1: I thought about it as I walked back to my hotel.
Speaker 1: Sullivant was an ordinary public school, and yet it was
Speaker 1: not like any other I have ever known of. In
Speaker 1: seeking an adjective to describe the Sullivant School of my
Speaker 1: years nineteen hundred and nineteen hundred and eight, I can
Speaker 1: only think of tough. Sullivant School was tough. The boys
Speaker 1: of Sullivant came mostly from the region around Central Market,
Speaker 1: a poorish district with many families of the laboring class.
Speaker 1: The school district also included a number of homes of
Speaker 1: the upper classes, because at the turn of the century
Speaker 1: one or two old residential streets still lingered near the
Speaker 1: shouting and rumbling of the market, reluctant to surrender under
Speaker 1: their fine old houses to the encroaching rabble of commerce,
Speaker 1: and become as a last. They now have more vulgar
Speaker 1: business streets. I remember always first of all, the Celibant
Speaker 1: baseball team. Most grammar school baseball teams are made up
Speaker 1: of boys in the seventh and eighth grades, or they
Speaker 1: were in my day, But with Sulibant it was different.
Speaker 1: Several of its best players were in the fourth grade,
Speaker 1: known to the teachers of the school as the terrible fourth.
Speaker 1: In that grade you first encountered fractions and long division,
Speaker 1: and many pupils lodged there for years, like logs in
Speaker 1: a brook. Some of the more able baseball players have
Speaker 1: been in the fourth grade for seven or eight years. Then, too,
Speaker 1: there were a number of boys who had not been
Speaker 1: in the class past the normal time, but were nevertheless
Speaker 1: deep into their teams. They had avoided starting to school
Speaker 1: by eluding the truant officer until they were ready to
Speaker 1: go into long pants, but he always got them in
Speaker 1: the end. One or two of these fourth graders were
Speaker 1: seventeen or eighteen years old, but the dean of the
Speaker 1: squad was a tall, husky young man of twenty two
Speaker 1: who was in the fifth grade. The teachers of the
Speaker 1: third and fourth had got tired of having him around
Speaker 1: as the years rolled along and had pushed him on.
Speaker 1: His name was Dana Wayeney, and he had a mustache.
Speaker 1: Don't ask me why his parents allowed him to stay
Speaker 1: in school so long. There were many mysteries at Sullivans
Speaker 1: that were never cleared up. All I know is why
Speaker 1: he kept on in school and didn't go to work.
Speaker 1: He liked playing on the baseball team, and he had
Speaker 1: a pretty easy time in class because the teachers had
Speaker 1: given up asking him any questions at all years before.
Speaker 1: The story was that he had answered but one question
Speaker 1: in the seventeen years he had been going to classes
Speaker 1: at Sullivant, and that was what is one use of
Speaker 1: the comma? The kami, said Dana, embarrassedly, unsnarling his long
Speaker 1: legs from beneath a desk much too low for him,
Speaker 1: is used to shoot marbles with. Kami's was our word
Speaker 1: for those cheap ten percent marbles in case, it wasn't yours.
Speaker 1: The Sullivant School baseball team of nineteen hundred and five
Speaker 1: defeated several high school teams in the city and claimed
Speaker 1: the high school championship of the state, to which title
Speaker 1: it had, of course, no technical right. I believe the
Speaker 1: boys could have proved their moral right to the championship, however,
Speaker 1: if they had been allowed to go out of town
Speaker 1: and play all the teams they challenged, such as the
Speaker 1: powerful Dayton and Toledo Nines. But their road season was
Speaker 1: called off after a terrific fight that occurred during one
Speaker 1: game at Mount Stirling or Picquah or Zenia, I can't
Speaker 1: remember which. Our first baseman, Dana Whaney, crowned the umpire
Speaker 1: with a bat during an altercation overcalled strike and the
Speaker 1: fight was on. It took place in the fourth inning,
Speaker 1: so of course the game was never finished. The battle
Speaker 1: continued on down into the business section of the town
Speaker 1: and raged for hours, with much destruction of property. But
Speaker 1: since Sullivan was ahead of the time seventeen to nothing,
Speaker 1: there could have been no doubt as to the outcome.
Speaker 1: Nobody was killed. All of us boys were sure our
Speaker 1: team could have beaten Ohio State university that year, but
Speaker 1: they wouldn't play us. They were scared. Wayney was by
Speaker 1: no means the biggest or toughest guy on the Grammar
Speaker 1: School team. He was merely the oldest, being about a
Speaker 1: year the senior of Floyd, the center fielder who could
Speaker 1: jump five feet straight into the air without taking a
Speaker 1: running start. Nobody knew, not even the Board of Education,
Speaker 1: which once tried to find out whether Floyd was Floyd's
Speaker 1: first name or his last name. He apparently only had one.
Speaker 1: He didn't have any parents, and nobody, including himself, seemed
Speaker 1: to know where he lived. When teachers insisted that he
Speaker 1: must have another name to go with Floyd, he would
Speaker 1: grow sullen and ominous, and they would cease questioning him
Speaker 1: because he was a dangerous scholar in his schoolroom brawl,
Speaker 1: as mister Harrigan, the janitor found out one morning when
Speaker 1: he was called in by a screaming teacher. All our
Speaker 1: teachers were women to get Floyd under control. After she
Speaker 1: had tried to whip him and he had begun to
Speaker 1: take the room apart, beginning with the desks. Floyd broke
Speaker 1: into small pieces the switch she had used on him.
Speaker 1: Some said he also ate it. I don't know, because
Speaker 1: I was home sick of the time with mumps or something.
Speaker 1: Harrigan was a burly, iron muscle janitor, a man come
Speaker 1: from a long line of coal shovelers, but he was
Speaker 1: no match for Floyd, who had to be sure the
Speaker 1: considerable advantage of being more aroused than mister Harrigan. When
Speaker 1: their fight started, Floyd had him down and was sitting
Speaker 1: on his chest in no time, and Harrigan had to
Speaker 1: promise to be good and to say that's what I
Speaker 1: get ten times before Floyd would let him up. I
Speaker 1: don't suppose I would ever have got through Sullivant School
Speaker 1: alive if it hadn't been for Floyd. For some reason,
Speaker 1: he appointed himself my protector, and I needed one. If
Speaker 1: Floyd was known to be on your side, nobody in
Speaker 1: the school would dare be after you and chase you home.
Speaker 1: I was one of the ten or fifteen male pupils
Speaker 1: in Sullivant School who always or almost always knew their lessons,
Speaker 1: and I believe Floyd admired the mental prowess of a
Speaker 1: youngster who knew how many continents there were and whether
Speaker 1: or not the sun was inhabited Also, one time, when
Speaker 1: it came to be my turn to read to the class.
Speaker 1: We used to take turns reading American history aloud. I
Speaker 1: came across the word ducane and knew how to pronounce it.
Speaker 1: That charmed Floyd, who had been slouched in his seat
Speaker 1: idly following the printed page of his worn and penciled textbook.
Speaker 1: How you know that was ducane, boy, he asked me
Speaker 1: after class. I don't know, I said, I just knew it.
Speaker 1: He looked at me with round eyes. Oh that's something
Speaker 1: he said. After that word got around that Floyd would
Speaker 1: beat the tar out of anybody that messed around with me.
Speaker 1: I wore glasses from the time I was eight, and
Speaker 1: I knew my lessons, and both of those things were
Speaker 1: considered pretty terrible at Sullivan. Floyd had one idiosyncrasy, though.
Speaker 1: In the early nineteen hundreds, long, warm, furry gloves that
Speaker 1: came almost to your elbows were popular with boys, and
Speaker 1: Floyd had one of the biggest pears in school. He
Speaker 1: wore them the year round. Dick Peterson was an either
Speaker 1: greater figure on the baseball team and in the school
Speaker 1: than Floyd was. He had a way in the classroom
Speaker 1: of blurting out a long, deep, rolling be for no
Speaker 1: reason at all. Once he licked three boys his own size,
Speaker 1: single handed, really single handed, for he fought with his
Speaker 1: right hand and held a mandolin in his left hand
Speaker 1: all the time. It came out uninjured. Dick and Floyd
Speaker 1: never met in mortal combats, so nobody ever knew which
Speaker 1: one could beat, and the scholars were about evenly divided
Speaker 1: in their opinions. Many a fight started among them after
Speaker 1: school when the argument came up. I think school never
Speaker 1: let out at Sullivan without at least one fight starting up,
Speaker 1: and sometimes there were as many as five or six
Speaker 1: raging between the corner of Oak and sixth Streets and
Speaker 1: the corner of Rich and Fourth Streets, four blocks away.
Speaker 1: Now and again, virtually the whole school turned out to
Speaker 1: fight the Catholic boys of the Holy Cross Academy in
Speaker 1: Fifth Street near town for no reason at all, in
Speaker 1: winter with snowballs and ice balls, in other seasons with fists,
Speaker 1: brick bats, and clubs. Dick Peterson was always in the van, yelling, singing,
Speaker 1: being whirling all the way around when he swung with
Speaker 1: his right or if he hadn't brought his mandle in
Speaker 1: his left and missed. He made himself the pitcher on
Speaker 1: the baseball team because he was the captain. He was
Speaker 1: the captain because everybody else was afraid to challenge his
Speaker 1: self election except Floyd. Floyd was too lazy to pitch,
Speaker 1: and he didn't care who was captain because he didn't
Speaker 1: fully uncomprehend what that meant. On one occasion, when Earl Baddock,
Speaker 1: a steamfitter's son, had shut out Mound Street School for
Speaker 1: six innings without a hit, Dick took him out of
Speaker 1: the pitcher's box and went in himself. He was hit hard,
Speaker 1: and the other team scored, but it didn't make much
Speaker 1: difference because the margin of Sullivan's victory was so great.
Speaker 1: The team didn't lose a game for five years to
Speaker 1: another grammar school. When Dick Peterson was in the sixth grade,
Speaker 1: he got into a saloon brawl and was killed. When
Speaker 1: I go back to Columbus, I always walked past Sullivant School,
Speaker 1: and I have never happened to get there when classes
Speaker 1: were letting out, so I don't know what the pupils
Speaker 1: are like. Now, I am sure there are no more
Speaker 1: Dick Peterson's and no more Floyd's unless Floyd is still
Speaker 1: going to school there. The playyard is still entirely bare
Speaker 1: of grass and covered with gravel, and the sycamore still
Speaker 1: line the curve between the schoolhouse fence and the Oak
Speaker 1: Street car line. A street car line running past a
Speaker 1: schoolhouse is a dangerous thing as a rule, but I
Speaker 1: remember no one being injured while I was attending Sullivant.
Speaker 1: I do remember, however, one person who came very near
Speaker 1: being injured. He was a motorman on the Oak Street line,
Speaker 1: and once when his car stopped at the owner of
Speaker 1: six to let off passengers, he yelled at Cheudy Davidson,
Speaker 1: who played third base on the ball team and was
Speaker 1: a member of the Terrible Fourth, to get out of
Speaker 1: the way. Chudy was fourteen years old, but huge for
Speaker 1: his age, and he was standing on the tracks taking
Speaker 1: a chew of tobacco. Come on down off of that
Speaker 1: con I'll not get blocked off, said Shouty, and what
Speaker 1: I can only describe as a sullivant tone of voice.
Speaker 1: The motorman waited until Shooty moved slowly off the tracks,
Speaker 1: then he went on about his business. I think it
Speaker 1: was lucky for him that he did. There were boys
Speaker 1: in those days. I went to Sullivant by James Thurber
Speaker 1: Thurber House, Columbus, Ohio. I don't know. Maybe we can
Speaker 1: put out another book, audio book of Thurber's stories. I
Speaker 1: did one. It's available where audio books are available. I
Speaker 1: don't think it's on iTunes. It's called the Thurber Audio Collection.
Speaker 1: I don't think you can find it using my name,
Speaker 1: but it's there. They get all the money anyway. I've
Speaker 1: done all the damage I can do here more on
Speaker 1: Thurber later as I think of it. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1: Brian Ray and John Phillip Shanelle, the musical directors have Countdown, arranged, produced,
Speaker 1: and performed most of our music. Mister Shanelle handled orchestration
Speaker 1: and keyboards. Mister Ray was on the guitars, bass and drums.
Speaker 1: It was produced by Tko Brothers. Our satirical and pithy
Speaker 1: musical comments are by the best baseball stadium organist ever,
Speaker 1: Nancy Faust. The sports music is the Olderman theme from
Speaker 1: ESPN two, written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN Inc.
Speaker 1: Other music arranged and performed by the group No Horns Allowed.
Speaker 1: My announcer today was my friend Kenny Maine. Everything else
Speaker 1: was as ever my fault. Kenny and I are not
Speaker 1: running for president. That's countdown for today, Just four hundred
Speaker 1: and thirteen days until the scheduled end of his lame duck,
Speaker 1: lame brained term, unless Musk replaces him sooner or the
Speaker 1: actual aerial tables due. The next scheduled countdown is Thursday.
Speaker 1: As always, bulletins as the news warrants, remember impeach Trump.
Speaker 1: It won't work now, it will win the Democrats the
Speaker 1: midterms if there are midterms, and in the interim, put
Speaker 1: your paddles away and get out your canes and keep
Speaker 1: protesting until next time. I'm Keith Olverman. Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight,
Speaker 1: and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production
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Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.