Speaker 1: I did not get a BBL. What don't worry abody,
Speaker 1: just go with it, dead ass.
Speaker 2: Bruh.
Speaker 3: Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's.
Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos with our boys.
Speaker 2: And reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.
Speaker 1: Wait, I make you need therapy most days.
Speaker 2: Wow. Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Speaker 1: Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open
Speaker 1: dialogue about some of Li's most taboo topics.
Speaker 2: Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 1: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
Speaker 1: is a term that we say every day. So when
Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred
Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 1: Were about to take philos off to our whole new level.
Speaker 2: Dead ass starts right now, all right, So you didn't
Speaker 2: get a BBL.
Speaker 1: What No, I didn't get a BBM is.
Speaker 2: The word on the street, because you know that's.
Speaker 1: Not the word on the street. But I had to
Speaker 1: bring that out because I'm a little offended, okay, because
Speaker 1: you would gain weight then you lost it, and everybody
Speaker 1: was just like oh, I think Kadeen got to BBL.
Speaker 1: She got to beat me down. I gain't wait, I
Speaker 1: lost it. Ain't nobody say nothing. Ain't nobody said, oh
Speaker 1: if I look good, he got a b BL.
Speaker 2: Nobody sawers.
Speaker 1: No, ain't nobody giving me my flowers?
Speaker 2: Was given a flowers.
Speaker 1: I'm tight. I'm tight.
Speaker 2: You should have did it before and after something I
Speaker 2: should have.
Speaker 1: You know, that's the problem. I didn't. I didn't do
Speaker 1: it before and after.
Speaker 3: You know what, you know, I had to post a
Speaker 3: receipt to for what after? For Mother's Day. If you
Speaker 3: go to my Mother's Day post, right, it's me, my grandmother,
Speaker 3: my mom. The very last slide of that post is
Speaker 3: your mom.
Speaker 1: I've seen it stacked.
Speaker 3: So if there was ever a question of where I
Speaker 3: got it from, I am the epitome of she get
Speaker 3: it from her mama, shout out to me.
Speaker 2: But anyway, back to your BBO.
Speaker 1: Yeah, pops, my pops are stacked. So that's what I
Speaker 1: got it.
Speaker 2: You don't want to be stacked like that?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no. So this is the story's a
Speaker 1: little serious, but it'll get a little funny funny after this. Right.
Speaker 1: Twenty twenty one was the first year we moved here,
Speaker 1: and yes, we went to go to the breakfast club. Yeah,
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one, we went to go to breakfast club
Speaker 1: for the first time. And I got a phone call
Speaker 1: from my mom about my dad and she's like, no,
Speaker 1: I got a call phone call from my brother. I
Speaker 1: was like, Yo, your father's not not looking good. Give
Speaker 1: your pops a call. So I called Scoop. He was
Speaker 1: not looking good. He had lost a ton of weight.
Speaker 1: He was like looked kind of like flush, like gray,
Speaker 1: and he could barely talk. His mouth was dry, which
Speaker 1: I already knew from doing exercise physiology and stuff that
Speaker 1: a lot of the warning signs we look for with
Speaker 1: clients who come in for training are signs of diabetes
Speaker 1: pre diabetes. And I could tell by the way he
Speaker 1: was talking in his Thursday he said he had to
Speaker 1: go to the bathroom every like ten to fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1: I said, that's and it's just a diabetic issue. So
Speaker 1: I told my mom to go. I said, YO, take
Speaker 1: dad to the hospital. And she was just like, I
Speaker 1: take on my wings. They got a hospital appointment on
Speaker 1: wins and said, Mom, if you don't take him to
Speaker 1: the hospital to mom or fly home mom and take
Speaker 1: him to the hospital. Myself.
Speaker 2: I remember that she was serious.
Speaker 1: I was dead serious.
Speaker 2: We were both going to be on the next thing,
Speaker 2: smoking out of here yep.
Speaker 1: And she was like, find I'll take him to the hospital.
Speaker 1: Chakes my mom to my dad to the hospital. Turns
Speaker 1: out my dad's A one C was like it.
Speaker 2: Was something ridiculous.
Speaker 1: It was something ridiculous. It was like sixteen, which and
Speaker 1: I think seven makes you diabetic. Yeah, but it was
Speaker 1: high and also his uh that was his A one c.
Speaker 1: But there was also his there was his sugar number
Speaker 1: or something was so high that the machine couldn't even
Speaker 1: register it. It was something crazy like that. And they
Speaker 1: ended up admitting him to the hospital and they found
Speaker 1: out that he was diabetic and he had to change
Speaker 1: his diet. And the reason why I'm telling you other
Speaker 1: stories because of this next part. When I flew to
Speaker 1: New York and I went to speak to my dad
Speaker 1: because I was upset at him because I always talk
Speaker 1: about being in shapeitness and being there for your family
Speaker 1: and being healthy. And I looked at my pops and
Speaker 1: I was just like, yo, why you never told me
Speaker 1: like you was feeling good and stuff like that, And
Speaker 1: for the first time ever in my life. My father
Speaker 1: leaned over and cried on me and said that he
Speaker 1: thought he was gonna die. Wow, changed my life. This
Speaker 1: karaoke song is dedicated to my family especially, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say especially my wife especially. Yes, but it's not
Speaker 1: gonna be for the reason that you think it is. Right.
Speaker 1: So here's the song.
Speaker 4: Then running right now, A work to it.
Speaker 2: Now, stop screaming and triples mike a bad trouble.
Speaker 1: We're gonna take a quick break and we're gonna come back,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna discuss. While I was singing the rocky theme, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, that's sure as hell wouldn't be feeling
Speaker 3: like up in this bitch after.
Speaker 2: Aast the funk out.
Speaker 1: Let's take a quick break.
Speaker 2: We'll be back, all right.
Speaker 1: So now we're back.
Speaker 3: Yes, maybe nobody's appreciating you a little fatty you got
Speaker 3: going on?
Speaker 2: Maybe?
Speaker 1: First of all, I don't got it fatty, all right, man,
Speaker 1: No man wants a muscle, Yeah, I got.
Speaker 3: It back there because I don't particularly like a flat ass,
Speaker 3: neither on the man. But I don't like a fat
Speaker 3: ass either. You're asking be in competition with mine.
Speaker 1: My ass could never be in competition with yours. Ever
Speaker 1: that thing back there, God, that's whoo one of my
Speaker 1: favorite things, said Maya. I'm actually in the zone right
Speaker 1: now thinking about it. If I can't sing you on Patreot,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about it right now. But no, I wanted
Speaker 1: to talk about this because the reason why I sang
Speaker 1: the Rocky theme is because when I look at the
Speaker 1: shape syl Vester Stallone was in and Buddy that played
Speaker 1: the Donna's creed, they that was like the most ripped
Speaker 1: people I've ever seen in my life as a kid
Speaker 1: growing up actual and I remember saying as like, as
Speaker 1: a young person, like that's the epitome of manliness to
Speaker 1: be like that ripped, that oiled up right, and it
Speaker 1: was like running through this running through the beach in
Speaker 1: the same.
Speaker 3: If Val had the opportunity to walk around shirtless every
Speaker 3: day of his life, you would.
Speaker 2: I would.
Speaker 1: But there's some problems here. What's that problems? Is your family?
Speaker 2: My family?
Speaker 1: Yes, your family. I'm glad we're talking about this so
Speaker 1: I can tell y'all how the sabotage happens in this house.
Speaker 1: What I'd be on the treadmill, your pops, come tap
Speaker 1: me on the shoulder. Let me buy you a drink.
Speaker 1: I'm on the treadmill. He wants me to have a
Speaker 1: drink with him. So the minute I get off the treadmill,
Speaker 1: you know what he got in his hand a drink,
Speaker 1: a drink, and you know, rum be adding stuff to
Speaker 1: my stomach.
Speaker 2: That he'd be like, let me buy you a drink
Speaker 2: from my bar.
Speaker 1: To buy me a drink, right, but it don't stop there.
Speaker 2: He'd be stocking it though.
Speaker 1: It don't stop there, stock it. When I come home
Speaker 1: from my trips, Who'll be in the kitchen making oxtail,
Speaker 1: lesign ya.
Speaker 2: All his favorites, your fish, stewl chicken.
Speaker 1: Your moms be.
Speaker 2: Be taking good care of you, your moms.
Speaker 3: She'd be like, what do you think the al will
Speaker 3: want when he gets back home from filming?
Speaker 2: Because he was in Toronto.
Speaker 1: For six weeks.
Speaker 2: She rolled out all of it. She sent me to
Speaker 2: go buy dog. Still to do all this feet for
Speaker 2: your guy. She's just like, you gotta hold it down,
Speaker 2: you know, whole my guy down.
Speaker 3: It's been away all this time, and and gett no
Speaker 3: home cooked food, trying to have Jamaican food, but they
Speaker 3: don't have home cooked foods.
Speaker 1: It's not like yes, so when I walk in the house,
Speaker 1: I gotta deal with all this home cooked food all
Speaker 1: the time, right, and I'm not complaining? What is?
Speaker 3: What is?
Speaker 1: Then your pops want to buy me drinks with my
Speaker 1: own alcohol after coming off the treadmill, right, still not complaining?
Speaker 1: Then your kids? Your kids? Why am I missing it?
Speaker 1: Your kids got all these snacks in the pantry, bro.
Speaker 3: It's a detriment to me too, though not just you,
Speaker 3: because as much as I try to eat clean now,
Speaker 3: it's just like snacks being there. Our little pantry mouse
Speaker 3: aka Dakota always finds a way to want to be
Speaker 3: just feeding me snacks.
Speaker 1: Feeding Will you be feeding me snacks late at night?
Speaker 1: I go in there take my hit from my blunt
Speaker 1: because I want to sleep good at night. But the
Speaker 1: Munchi's be calling me and them freaking rice Chrispy cheeks,
Speaker 1: the rice crisp rice Krispy cheeks. That's I'm about to
Speaker 1: start telling you rice Krispy cheeks, because that's why you
Speaker 1: got all them cheeks back there, because you eat them
Speaker 1: rice Krispy trees. Them. Shit's got a hold on me, yo.
Speaker 1: It don't matter what night it is, it don't matter
Speaker 1: what type of night it is. After I smoke, I'll
Speaker 1: be chilling their mind in my business, trying to be disciplined.
Speaker 1: And I hear them. I hear them in the pantry
Speaker 1: going snap crackle pop, snap crackle pop, snapcragle pop, and
Speaker 1: I just gotta go get one or two, like.
Speaker 2: The devil's on your shoulder.
Speaker 3: It is.
Speaker 1: It's bad.
Speaker 3: And the kids more recently, like Jackson came out one day,
Speaker 3: was like, oh, Mom, can you get rice krispby trees?
Speaker 2: They hadn't been eating them.
Speaker 3: I don't know. You know, how do you go to
Speaker 3: school when somebody has it? You're like, oh, I want
Speaker 3: to try it. So I got a forty count box
Speaker 3: and I was getting ready to blast the kids because
Speaker 3: the forty count box that I had bought on like
Speaker 3: a Tuesday. By Thursday was almost done. And I literally
Speaker 3: went over there and I said, you know, I caught
Speaker 3: myself because I'm like, I know I've seen de Vow
Speaker 3: munching on it. I seen some rappers in the garbage
Speaker 3: in our bedroom. I'm like, it couldn't have been the kids.
Speaker 3: I said, before I fast on these kids, let me
Speaker 3: ask the Vow if he did this did you you.
Speaker 2: Almost eight half that box by yourself?
Speaker 1: Yep, they got a hold on me. I ain't gonna
Speaker 1: lie because because I go into the pantry at night, right,
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, I'm gonna just have one, right,
Speaker 1: And then I see one and it'll be next to
Speaker 1: another one, and I'll be like, I might as well
Speaker 1: just have five pop, because if I'm gonna eat it,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna eat it. Like I'm not gonna just taste it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna eat it. So then there you go, snap,
Speaker 1: crackle pop. And now I didn't have five Rice Christy
Speaker 1: Trees at one in the morning, but bruh. And then
Speaker 1: my my lovely wife here, who does not believe in
Speaker 1: my journey.
Speaker 2: At all, of course I do.
Speaker 1: You'll be watching Rain and Kanan and Raisin Raisin Kane.
Speaker 1: I can't even talk. I'm so thinking about this fucking
Speaker 1: Rice Christy Trees. We watching Raisin Kane, and she gonna
Speaker 1: look over at me and she'd be like, you know
Speaker 1: what I could use right now? A big mac, y'all.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute, you're gonna,
Speaker 1: I said, I go where you gonna find a big mac?
Speaker 1: In one in the morning, She pick up her phone
Speaker 1: and go.
Speaker 3: Guys, this is coming from two people who don't even
Speaker 3: eat McDonald.
Speaker 1: Don't eat we don't eat McDonald We don't eat that ship.
Speaker 2: We don't And out of nowhere.
Speaker 3: I again, it was a snapcackle pot, but it was
Speaker 3: Ronald McDonald's. And what's the other the purple dude? What's
Speaker 3: the purple dude? I don't know it was, Yeah, thanks John,
Speaker 3: dumb dumb to be on my shoulder, like you know,
Speaker 3: you want to be bad.
Speaker 1: They don't say that. You know what they say to
Speaker 1: old beef. Literally, that's exactly what they said when your shoulder.
Speaker 2: That and some hot fries and a coke maybe. And
Speaker 2: I'm ashamed.
Speaker 1: I'm not ashamed.
Speaker 2: I'm ashamed.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not ashamed. I'm giving a barbecue sauce.
Speaker 2: I like that barbecue sauce.
Speaker 1: You do have some more sugar. I'm not ashamed. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tell you why. I'm not ashamed. You know why,
Speaker 1: because I'm human, all right. I am entitled to indulge
Speaker 1: as hard as our work. But the truth of the
Speaker 1: matter is I work. I gotta work like ten times
Speaker 1: harder because I know I like to eat that stuff.
Speaker 1: But I say all of this to say, the main
Speaker 1: reason why I bust my ass working out is because
Speaker 1: I want to look like how Rocky and a Donna's
Speaker 1: creed looked in a movie.
Speaker 3: For you, though, I appreciate that as you should, because
Speaker 3: you know why I'm just saying, and I appreciate you
Speaker 3: acknowledging that looking good for me because there's always a
Speaker 3: lot of pressure put on women, regardless of the phase
Speaker 3: or stage that they're in their life. You could just
Speaker 3: have a baby, you could be five years. There's a
Speaker 3: lot of pressure for us to snap back and get
Speaker 3: back to and be skinny again, and all that pressure
Speaker 3: on us. I'm just saying, it's nice to know that
Speaker 3: you're acknowledging the fact that you need to still look
Speaker 3: good for us, because I enjoy the man that I met. Well,
Speaker 3: actually you kind of look like I always say, a
Speaker 3: pot spoon when we met you at the Big Head
Speaker 3: and you weren't as full. It's beautiful and it's amazing
Speaker 3: to look at, trust me, especially like when you be
Speaker 3: like you be here Hatreon gang. When he be here,
Speaker 3: I'll be on my back and he'd be here's.
Speaker 1: Nasty ce Nancy, go ahead, telling what uni your back
Speaker 1: doing well, spread eagle. But anyway, yeah, she'd be out
Speaker 1: here just doing whatever. For me. I love it period,
Speaker 1: but that's what gives me the passion to want to exactly.
Speaker 3: So I appreciate you acknowledging that because I just feel
Speaker 3: like women are always the ones that are The rhetoric
Speaker 3: is always spewed for women to be back in shape
Speaker 3: and to be back to what they were before, but
Speaker 3: I think it goes both ways. Both men and women
Speaker 3: need to be being what they need to be for
Speaker 3: their spouse or their partner.
Speaker 1: And we're gonna be clear, We're not saying that in
Speaker 1: order to be a good husband you have to have
Speaker 1: a six pack. What I'm saying is my wife likes
Speaker 1: me with a six pack. I'm busting my ass for
Speaker 1: my wife with a six pack. Now, if my wife
Speaker 1: likes men who look like Rick Ross, I would be
Speaker 1: growing out of beer and be eating Big Max every day,
Speaker 1: because that's just what it is. But I think I
Speaker 1: think Rick Ross got more healthy. He's lost some weight too. It. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but the whole point of the whole point of it
Speaker 1: is it's okay to know what your spouse likes. And
Speaker 1: I'm gonna speak to the gentleman on this because this
Speaker 1: is about This is about me and my bbl that
Speaker 1: didn't have It is okay to know what your wife
Speaker 1: likes and to work hard for that. Right of course,
Speaker 1: I want to be in shape for myself, Like I
Speaker 1: say it all the time. I want to one day
Speaker 1: be a sex symbol to the whole world. I want
Speaker 1: to be bigger than the Rock and Kevin Hard and
Speaker 1: Will Smith and Denzel. I want to be bigger than
Speaker 1: all of them. So I want to be a sex symbol.
Speaker 1: But most importantly, I want to come home and my
Speaker 1: wife look at me like you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: Like that matters to me, and I feel like it should.
Speaker 1: It should matter to people who are married. I don't
Speaker 1: care how how long y'all been together. And I'm gonna
Speaker 1: read some facts and stats that my girl put together here.
Speaker 2: Love that for us.
Speaker 1: A twenty twenty one survey found that nearly a third
Speaker 1: of men aged twenty five to forty five said that
Speaker 1: they were very active and exercised five or more times week.
Speaker 1: In comparison, only four percent said they were not physically
Speaker 1: active at all and never exercised. That's a really good
Speaker 1: stat and you know, I think that actually went up
Speaker 1: after the pandemic was up.
Speaker 3: Baby No, I was just looking at the second one.
Speaker 3: I'm listening to you, but don't finish your thought, and
Speaker 3: then I'll read the second one.
Speaker 1: It's rumored that men lose weight faster than women. It's true,
Speaker 1: but only in the short term, since men tend to
Speaker 1: have more lean muscle tissue, which burns more calories and
Speaker 1: body fat even during rest. And when men and women
Speaker 1: cut the same number of calories, men usually do lose
Speaker 1: more weight. This is why whenever I start breaking out,
Speaker 1: you see results.
Speaker 2: It goes fast. We say it all the time.
Speaker 3: My best friend Bianka and her husband Keith very similar
Speaker 3: situation where Bianca had five kids, I had four. Keith
Speaker 3: used to play ball with de Val and she's just
Speaker 3: like Yoda. Minute he touches a weight, he drops right
Speaker 3: back down. Me and Harroby over here struggling. Is that
Speaker 3: she actually started to supplement in that line. Recently HeLa healthy,
Speaker 3: which I've been doing for Lion's Man because child my brain,
Speaker 3: baby brain be lingering. But there's just so many things
Speaker 3: that we as women have to take. And I've recently
Speaker 3: heard that as you get older, and I'm not sure
Speaker 3: if this is true, so we may have to look
Speaker 3: this up. But the testosterone that women have sometimes too
Speaker 3: will drop as you get older, and sometimes you need
Speaker 3: to get a healthy dose of testosterone in your body
Speaker 3: to be able to.
Speaker 1: I got mad dose of testosterone for you. You let
Speaker 1: me know when you need it. I'll drop it off immediately.
Speaker 1: You should not ever go without testosone. Let me know.
Speaker 2: I'm not talking about it in that sense.
Speaker 1: Deval Okay, I'm talking about health people. She's not trying
Speaker 1: to be healthy. I'm trying to do this for you.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to think of the way that it's most
Speaker 3: effective for me to ingest it or get it into
Speaker 3: my body. I will then retain muscle and cause me
Speaker 3: to then burn.
Speaker 1: I just told you the best way to ingest it.
Speaker 3: Well, if that's the case, I should be all muscle
Speaker 3: bodybuilder vibes.
Speaker 1: You are all muscle.
Speaker 2: I mean, listen, I guess.
Speaker 3: Y'all far on my back, deep squat, all that, working
Speaker 3: my way up to my dead lifts again.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. That's because you have enough
Speaker 1: t stom true, yes, so we should keep it up.
Speaker 1: I've gained three pounds of muscle over the past four months,
Speaker 1: but I've lost but I've lost three inches on my waist.
Speaker 3: You did have your fitting and you were on the scale,
Speaker 3: which is crazy to me because I with the way
Speaker 3: I've been training lately. Right, I've been doing a lot
Speaker 3: more protein because it's a fact too that women typically
Speaker 3: don't eat as much protein as men or in general. Right,
Speaker 3: I've been doubling down on my protein. So I will
Speaker 3: eat a big mac at night with the val but
Speaker 3: that's after drinking a couple of egg whites during the
Speaker 3: day and being on my I forgot the name that
Speaker 3: Tripple dubbed me now after gust on the female version
Speaker 3: from Beauty and the Beasts about chugging my egg whites,
Speaker 3: She's just like you, you're a little meat head vibes.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I am, but I'll do that because I
Speaker 3: know I want to have my big mag at the
Speaker 3: end of the day.
Speaker 1: So many sexual windows I could have gone there. I
Speaker 1: just let you rock out though, because it was just
Speaker 1: too easy. You caught yourself a meathead. You take meat
Speaker 1: to the head, you'd be deep throating egg whites, getting
Speaker 1: heavy protein. Listen, I'm loving this for you. Be healthy,
Speaker 1: be healthy, you feel me, be healthy.
Speaker 3: Had all that to say that I was on the
Speaker 3: scale maybe like two weeks ago, I want to say
Speaker 3: before you definitely.
Speaker 2: I think that was when I was going to Cabo.
Speaker 2: So it's like two or three weeks ago before Sweden
Speaker 2: too on.
Speaker 3: The scale and I said it was at one fifty seven, right,
Speaker 3: ideally in my mind when I'm thinking about a number,
Speaker 3: even though I try not to pay too much attention
Speaker 3: to the scale because again, you're trying to outfit. I've
Speaker 3: tried on so many outfits over the course of the
Speaker 3: past few weeks, and I'm like, this didn't fit me
Speaker 3: before this up and now it's just zipping right up.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: So, having done all that, I was at one fifty seven.
Speaker 3: My goal ideal weight was between one forty five and
Speaker 3: one fifty. I got on the scale this morning after
Speaker 3: eating soup we're clean for the past couple of days
Speaker 3: and taking down a ton of protein.
Speaker 2: I'm at one sixty three.
Speaker 1: Big.
Speaker 2: How did I get up?
Speaker 3: Big?
Speaker 2: How did I gain five pounds?
Speaker 3: But then you know, muscle they say weighs more than fat,
Speaker 3: so I'd like to think that I'm burning the fat
Speaker 3: gaining the muscle. I'm all legs for the most part,
Speaker 3: posterior chain and I love that for.
Speaker 2: Me and for you.
Speaker 1: Oh, I love it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I don't get caught up in like the
Speaker 2: weight and the number.
Speaker 1: Weight, like that weight don't really matter and like.
Speaker 2: Laying my face now too, do y'all see it?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You look?
Speaker 2: You look trying to get popping again.
Speaker 1: According to these facts and stats, the easiest way to change,
Speaker 1: the easiest change you can make to your diet to
Speaker 1: lose belly fat is to eat enough protein, which that
Speaker 1: you just talked about. Your protein makes you full, make
Speaker 1: you feel full faster period. Adding vinegard to your diet
Speaker 1: can increase weight loss. One study found that a mere
Speaker 1: fifteen to thirty milli leads one to two tablespools of
Speaker 1: vinegar daily reduce his body weight, belly fat, and waste
Speaker 1: circumference over a three month period. According to one study,
Speaker 1: adding vinegar to your diet will reduce your daily caloric
Speaker 1: intake by two hundred and seventy five calories.
Speaker 2: That's the fact.
Speaker 3: I used to do shots of apple sided vinegurance in
Speaker 3: the morning.
Speaker 2: But be careful with that, y'all.
Speaker 3: Make sure that when you do drink it now and
Speaker 3: you brush your teeth right after or rinse your mouth.
Speaker 2: Teeth. Yep.
Speaker 1: While it may seem counterintuitive, eating healthy fats can help
Speaker 1: burn belly fat by making you feel full of faster,
Speaker 1: which mitigates the risk of future weight gain. That's what
Speaker 1: people say keto is or the Atkins diet. But it
Speaker 1: also makes weight loss easier because you will be less
Speaker 1: tempted to overreach. Try adding fatty food to your diets,
Speaker 1: such as fatty tuna, salmon, almonds, olive oil, and whole milk.
Speaker 3: I love a quarter avocado. That's also really good. Yes,
Speaker 3: you do have peanut butter two.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: Another simple change you can make to burn belly fat
Speaker 1: is to make healthier beverage choices. Drinking more water is
Speaker 1: also wow, Josh, Wow, Josh, y'all heard that. I hope
Speaker 1: we keep all of this stuff in here, so y'all
Speaker 1: can hear what be going on here? Doing this podcast
Speaker 1: to feel like.
Speaker 2: You're in the room, so you clearly are getting all
Speaker 2: the room tones.
Speaker 1: Yeah, triubled with slamming toys on the ground, kicking our
Speaker 1: kids toys. They're going off now, Josh here taking phone
Speaker 1: calls in the middle of the podcast sorright.
Speaker 2: He's watching YouTube.
Speaker 1: Okay, drink Drinking more water is always a good idea,
Speaker 1: especially since often especially since often we mistake thirst for hunger.
Speaker 1: You've been drinking a ship of water.
Speaker 3: It's true, y'all. It's true. And it's to the point
Speaker 3: now where my I feel feel like my my palette
Speaker 3: is starting to shift where I will. I can't even
Speaker 3: drink juice like I used to, even some wines like
Speaker 3: things like that.
Speaker 2: I can't.
Speaker 3: Is it either too sweet or certain foods or too salty.
Speaker 3: Now it's like when you start to kind of train
Speaker 3: your body and train your mind. But again, I don't
Speaker 3: deprive myself. Like I said, I'm gonna eat the big bag.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna eat the rice crispy treat all.
Speaker 1: If I'm gonna let you finish, and the barbecue chips
Speaker 1: Kanye west'nna let you finish. But this is about my bee.
Speaker 1: Yeah sorry, And this is for the gentleman. Is for
Speaker 1: the gentleman, because I also get a lot of dms
Speaker 1: from men and women, women asking me, Hey, I want
Speaker 1: my husband to get back in shape. What can I
Speaker 1: do to help him feel the need or want to
Speaker 1: get back in shape without offending him. And then I
Speaker 1: get it from men too, just like yo, what's your
Speaker 1: workout plan? So realistically, there are a lot of people
Speaker 1: who are asking for men as well, but we don't
Speaker 1: talk about it a lot. Like you said before, it's
Speaker 1: always seemed like the own this is always on women
Speaker 1: to like snap back right, and it's almost like dad bodes.
Speaker 1: And there was also a picture that came out on
Speaker 1: Instagram of a man and his girl and she was
Speaker 1: just like before we started dating and now that we're engaged.
Speaker 1: And in the first part he had a six pack
Speaker 1: and he was smiling, and in the second part he
Speaker 1: didn't have a six pack no more. He was smiling,
Speaker 1: and people were just like, oh, you can tell he's happy.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. Come, why is it okay for
Speaker 1: a man to fall out of shape? And they say
Speaker 1: it's because he's had But if a woman does it,
Speaker 1: it's like, nah, she got to keep herself together for
Speaker 1: her man. And the truth of the matter is is
Speaker 1: that this idea that women don't mind you falling out
Speaker 1: of shape when you're happy is not real. It's not
Speaker 1: like some women like a different type of man in
Speaker 1: the way they look and I'm not talking about those women.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about the women who met a man who
Speaker 1: was in shape in the gym all the time, and
Speaker 1: now he chooses not to go anymore because he'd rather
Speaker 1: be at home and be with his girl, which I understand.
Speaker 1: But that woman still wants you to look the way
Speaker 1: that she saw you, the way she fell in love
Speaker 1: with you, the way she lusted for you. And I
Speaker 1: think it's okay for men to be like, nah, I'm
Speaker 1: keeping myself up because I want my wife to still
Speaker 1: look at me that way. I am not gonna lie
Speaker 1: to you. Yo. When I had gained weight and kind
Speaker 1: of got out of shape and looked at myself in
Speaker 1: the mirror, I didn't like the way I looked. I
Speaker 1: just didn't feel strapping. I didn't feel like it's gonna
Speaker 1: sound crazy, but I didn't feel like a protector, right.
Speaker 1: I felt like a little soft, like if somebody came
Speaker 1: in the house and I had to wrest with some
Speaker 1: guys for something, I would lose, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So I was like, I gotta get back into my bag,
Speaker 1: and I want to talk to the gentleman and be like, yo,
Speaker 1: it is okay to get back in your bag. It
Speaker 1: is okay to take an hour out of your day
Speaker 1: every day and be like, yo, baby, you got the kids,
Speaker 1: or it's just you. I gotta go to the gym,
Speaker 1: or if you got a gym downstairs, or if you're
Speaker 1: gonna go run or ride a bike or take a
Speaker 1: swim or jump rope. You need that, gentlemen, you need that,
Speaker 1: and more importantly than just the way you look, you
Speaker 1: need that to be present for your family as you
Speaker 1: get older. Like watching my pops the way he was,
Speaker 1: I was like, I never seen my father look this
Speaker 1: week before. And he's changed his lifestyle around. He eats
Speaker 1: differently and he's lost weight. But I was just like,
Speaker 1: I could have lost my dad. I have friends who've
Speaker 1: lost their dads. I have friends who I've lost you know.
Speaker 1: I have a buddy of mine who just recently had
Speaker 1: a stroke, Bake, who played He was a world class athlete.
Speaker 1: He played for the Redskins, just recently had a stroke
Speaker 1: and he's chronicling his comeback after the stroke. And Bake
Speaker 1: is thirty seven. You know what I'm saying, Men have
Speaker 1: to do a better job of taking our health into
Speaker 1: our own hands. And it starts with those simple things.
Speaker 1: Drink more water, get your ass up, and at least
Speaker 1: walk twenty minutes every day.
Speaker 2: It's the little changes.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell y'all those little changes, and that's great,
Speaker 3: a great message for men. I think women can pull
Speaker 3: from it too. It's taking the small steps that then
Speaker 3: become bigger steps. That's how it was for me, because
Speaker 3: everyone knows I've said it before, consistency was never my thing.
Speaker 3: When it came to the gym and being out there
Speaker 3: working out and eating and writing any of that, it
Speaker 3: just wasn't. I think part of the motivation for me
Speaker 3: was just knowing, Okay, I know I was in the
Speaker 3: trenches pregnant with the last baby. When I'm finally out
Speaker 3: of the postpartum woods, which is around eighteen months for me, now,
Speaker 3: it's like, okay, things start to set in. But then
Speaker 3: there's also me knowing that internally I need to be
Speaker 3: fighting against or preventing myself from getting those hereditary running
Speaker 3: the family type things like the diabetes and the hygh
Speaker 3: pertension and all that. It's easy to just start with
Speaker 3: each other, like Deval and I have some of the
Speaker 3: best time together when we block out, you know, hour
Speaker 3: and a half during the day we go to the
Speaker 3: gym and sometimes we're not side by side doing the
Speaker 3: same workouts at the same time. But it's kind of
Speaker 3: knowing that you have a gym buddy there, you know,
Speaker 3: somebody that can just kind of check you. Devo will
Speaker 3: come make sure I'm doing the right things, and you know,
Speaker 3: just having the camaraderie. We have some good times together
Speaker 3: just going to the gym now and that was never
Speaker 3: a thing for me. So it's become a change in
Speaker 3: the mindset, changing the lifestyle and doing it together. That's
Speaker 3: been great.
Speaker 1: Look at you smiling a smiling because like it's so
Speaker 1: funny how we always say we over me, but it
Speaker 1: really comes back to we over me. Right when you
Speaker 1: weren't feeling like yourself, going through postpartum, going through all
Speaker 1: of these things, it was like, if I get go
Speaker 1: to the gym with her, do this with her, make
Speaker 1: her feel blah blah blah blah blah. But now as
Speaker 1: a man, I'm going through my you know, phase of
Speaker 1: where I'm seeing my body change a little bit and
Speaker 1: I want to be more healthier and things aren't the
Speaker 1: same for me. And it's like when Kay was just
Speaker 1: like babe let's go to the gym. She got her
Speaker 1: tights on, and I'm like, all right, let's go. Like
Speaker 1: it does make me feel a little bit more like
Speaker 1: I want to do it if I know you're doing
Speaker 1: and you lost a ton of weight over the last
Speaker 1: four months, and watching you do that, that inspired me
Speaker 1: because I don't want to be the dadbod while you
Speaker 1: on the beach when we're on vacation. Like a lot
Speaker 1: of insecurities that come from men comes from us watching
Speaker 1: our bodies change. Men don't like to talk about this stuff.
Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck. Right, everybody knows I'm thinning.
Speaker 1: That's a part of life, right, I'm thinning. What are
Speaker 1: you going to do as a man to help prevent
Speaker 1: your life from just going away from you? And you
Speaker 1: can't see it? Right, So for me dealing with the
Speaker 1: thinning and stuff like that, people just like, well, why
Speaker 1: don't you just let it go and go bald? I
Speaker 1: don't mind doing that, you know what I'm saying. I don't.
Speaker 1: Part of the issue is I play a character on
Speaker 1: TV that has hair, so I have to maintain a
Speaker 1: certain level of hair while I'm on television. That doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that when you wake up in the morning and
Speaker 1: you realize that your hair is thinning, and my hair
Speaker 1: has been thin for about six years now, that you
Speaker 1: don't feel away as a man, right, I've already been contemplating, like,
Speaker 1: you know what if I cut all my hair off
Speaker 1: and I go with beard, that's also a good look.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. I could be bored with
Speaker 1: a beard.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I'm not a hat guy. Yeah, but I say all
Speaker 1: this to say to gentlemen, like, as you watch your
Speaker 1: youth go away the same way women watch, it's okay
Speaker 1: to say I want to maintain my youth. I want
Speaker 1: to maintain a certain measure of confidence in myself. The
Speaker 1: gym is always the right way to start, Like, the
Speaker 1: gym is always the right way to start, mainly because
Speaker 1: the endorphins that you get and you produce from going
Speaker 1: to the gym just make you feel better. You go
Speaker 1: to gym, you come back, You're like, I just I
Speaker 1: did that. Like what's what's next? Like, let me go
Speaker 1: pink started the house, Let me let me fix the gutters,
Speaker 1: you know, let me let me you know, the transmission
Speaker 1: needs to be fixed. I value you have an electric Porsche.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna change the battery on it. Like you just
Speaker 1: want to do stuff because the endorphins.
Speaker 3: You know, though, Remember when I came back from Toronto
Speaker 3: and I was just like, yo, aside from missing you,
Speaker 3: I was like, man, I hadn't worked out in like
Speaker 3: three days. I think we were juggling the kids in Toronto.
Speaker 3: You were filming. I didn't have a chance, any chance
Speaker 3: really to get to get a good workout in. And
Speaker 3: I came home and I was like, Yo, I feel like.
Speaker 1: Crap, crap. Yeah, I remember, and I was.
Speaker 3: Like, well, what's the last time you worked out? And
Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, I haven't worked out
Speaker 3: for like a good three days. Yep, got my ass up,
Speaker 3: went to the gym. Instant mood shifts, so you felt good.
Speaker 2: It was like instant. It was like taking an energy drink.
Speaker 2: It was just it was. It was insane.
Speaker 1: Speaking of taking energy drinks, this is not one of
Speaker 1: the facts and stats, but this is also something I've learned,
Speaker 1: even from being a workout gout. If you become dependent
Speaker 1: on energy drinks to get you to workouts and through workouts,
Speaker 1: when you don't have them energy drinks, your body crashes
Speaker 1: and it's almost like you become dependent, and it can
Speaker 1: also lead to depression if you don't feel that spark
Speaker 1: on the day you're not working out. I've noticed that
Speaker 1: with a lot of Yeah, with a lot of my
Speaker 1: my friends who use energy drinks or they used them.
Speaker 1: I never got into energy drinks like the endorphins, and
Speaker 1: the high I got was from just going and you know,
Speaker 1: let's go, ET's building myself up. So I never had
Speaker 1: that issue. But this is also a fact that that's
Speaker 1: not on here. But your testosterone really does start to
Speaker 1: drop at a certain age. Right, there is no one
Speaker 1: age where all the testosterone drops for men, but your
Speaker 1: testops from does start to drop. What people don't know
Speaker 1: is that you can continue to boost your testosterone by
Speaker 1: doing certain key exercises, which is why I came went
Speaker 1: to the chiropractor last night, and the chiropractor was like,
Speaker 1: you still squat, You're still deadlift, Like why, Like why
Speaker 1: would you do that? What are you training for? Was
Speaker 1: like life?
Speaker 2: Life?
Speaker 1: You are you are so invested in this wife life
Speaker 1: training for backshots. I fucking love it. Your nasty girl,
Speaker 1: you are so nasty, but I love it. But I
Speaker 1: still do squats and dead listen, I'm not training for backshots.
Speaker 1: I'm training to give backshots. That's why I also do
Speaker 1: hip thrusts, but doing squats and deadlifts right and one
Speaker 1: of the the well two of the largest muscle groups
Speaker 1: in your body your back, your poster of your chain,
Speaker 1: your legs, your glutes, your hamstrings. When you work out
Speaker 1: those areas, your body pushes testosterone through to help you
Speaker 1: rebuild those muscles back. So the more weights you lift
Speaker 1: more consistently, if you do it properly and healthily, you
Speaker 1: can continue to increase your testosterone output as a man.
Speaker 1: That's why when you see dudes who are in the
Speaker 1: gym and they're like in their forties and fifties and
Speaker 1: they're still like chasing after these young girls, it's because
Speaker 1: their testosterone is still pumping because they didn't get into
Speaker 1: the rut of oh, now i'm thirty, I gotta slow down.
Speaker 1: So many men get into this rut when they like,
Speaker 1: I just turned thirty, on my back gonna start hurting
Speaker 1: on my knees, so they stop working out as much,
Speaker 1: and then every it's like a self fulfilling prophecy you
Speaker 1: told yourself when you are thirty. Stuff is gonna hurt,
Speaker 1: so you stop working out. So your muscles got weaker,
Speaker 1: your joints got a little bit more weaker. Everything is sore.
Speaker 1: And now you're thirty five and it's getting worse. Now
Speaker 1: your testosteron's dropping, so when you start to get back
Speaker 1: into workout, it's that much harder. Now you're forty. Now
Speaker 1: your hair's falling out because your testosterone is dropped. You
Speaker 1: got a belly. And that's that depressing phase that men
Speaker 1: get into if they don't keep it up. And I
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about this because that happens to all
Speaker 1: of us. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. It does
Speaker 1: the same way. You can get on here and talk
Speaker 1: about being depressed because of childbirth sometimes and postpartum depression.
Speaker 1: I can honestly say, as a man, you wake up
Speaker 1: in the morning and you look at yourself. You've been
Speaker 1: going NonStop for years to feed your family, and you're tired,
Speaker 1: and you look at your eyes, and your eyes are
Speaker 1: dark and puffy, and you just don't look the youthful
Speaker 1: self anymore. You know. You look in the mirror and
Speaker 1: now you got more gray hairs in your beard and
Speaker 1: in your hair, and then parts of your hair is thinner,
Speaker 1: and you're just like, what is happening to me?
Speaker 3: And some of it you think it's just like stresses
Speaker 3: of life, Like, oh, y, stresses of life. Because with women,
Speaker 3: I think we can pinpoint certain times when we have
Speaker 3: those ships i e. Pregnancy, you know, menstruation, all that
Speaker 3: we have like certain moments when we pinpoint it. And
Speaker 3: then usually men are just like we look at you'all like, oh, well,
Speaker 3: y'all never have any changes because y'all never go through
Speaker 3: those really, you know, big changes in the hormones and
Speaker 3: all that because you don't carry children. But I can't
Speaker 3: take for granted that you don't just have natural changes
Speaker 3: that happen over the course of your life. Just as
Speaker 3: you age and depending on what you have going on
Speaker 3: in life.
Speaker 1: We have changes to we go through. We don't have
Speaker 1: like a post partum depression phase or a prenatal phase.
Speaker 1: We don't have a menstrual phase. That people have created
Speaker 1: a leniency in a space for women to go through
Speaker 1: that and have those discussions from men, it's like, y'all
Speaker 1: don't go through nothing, so be a man and deal
Speaker 1: with it. But I'm telling you right now that's why
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about this is that men do
Speaker 1: go through this. Like I got friends that we're all
Speaker 1: middle aged, we're all going to be forty, we're all
Speaker 1: turning forty this year, are going to be forty next year,
Speaker 1: and all of the topics of conversations are hairlines, male pattern, baldness,
Speaker 1: body weight gain, performance in the bedroom. That's another thing, gentlemen,
Speaker 1: if you knew how much your libido would sustain by
Speaker 1: working out, I guarantee you would work out. Had a
Speaker 1: young lady DM me and say hey, just send me
Speaker 1: this long thing and say I know I would ask
Speaker 1: you this question because I see you and don't mind
Speaker 1: being honest. But her husband has been struggling with a
Speaker 1: rectile dysfunction. This could have been a listener letter was
Speaker 1: struggling with a rectile dysfunction when he turned thirty five,
Speaker 1: and she was just like, you know, like, what is
Speaker 1: it me? She hard question was is it me? As
Speaker 1: a woman? Am I not turning him on enough? Like
Speaker 1: she was pretty much she's putting it on herself, like
Speaker 1: something's wrong with me, the same way I put it
Speaker 1: on myself when your sex drive wasn't as high, not
Speaker 1: knowing that it was birth control and Postparliament, and I'm
Speaker 1: just like, what's wrong with deval? She did the same thing,
Speaker 1: and you know, as I do sometimes and I'm not
Speaker 1: telling you all this to do this, but sometimes I
Speaker 1: get DMS and I respond with give me a phone call,
Speaker 1: or we'll text people back and forth, and I'd be like,
Speaker 1: I really want to help some people. So I was
Speaker 1: just like, yo, like what is his workout plan? And
Speaker 1: the first thing she said was workout? He don't work out.
Speaker 1: Now she's older in him, So what is she in? Oh,
Speaker 1: she's in her forties. She's in her forties and she
Speaker 1: works out. She's had I think I think she said
Speaker 1: she had three kids and she got into this work.
Speaker 1: I think after having her last child, because she was
Speaker 1: just like, I want to get my body back, because
Speaker 1: she said she started following us. She followed your journey.
Speaker 1: But he can't keep up. He's thirty five. He's suffering
Speaker 1: from erect out dysfunction. Some days of good days, some
Speaker 1: days are not good days. He was taking the pain
Speaker 1: medication for blood pressure. She I was about to say,
Speaker 1: you see what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Blood pressure medication will completely take it away.
Speaker 1: So I said, the issue to me, doesn't sound like,
Speaker 1: it's just the working out. If he's taking blood pressure
Speaker 1: medication is probably because his health is off, so he's
Speaker 1: taking the medication to subsidize that. And now that's messing
Speaker 1: with his libido, which is why most black men don't
Speaker 1: like taking blood pressure medication because it affects your libido
Speaker 1: and they're like, you're not going to take away my manhood,
Speaker 1: and then they end up having issues with health because
Speaker 1: you don't want to take.
Speaker 2: Them because they don't take it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's like a viciousious cycle.
Speaker 1: And when she issue, say one more time putting band
Speaker 1: aids over gun wounds, can't hear you can't heal a
Speaker 1: gun wound with a band aid. You gotta first take
Speaker 1: the bullet out. And you got to heal a womb.
Speaker 1: You can't just put a band aid over it. So
Speaker 1: she was like, Okay, thank you for the advice. I'll
Speaker 1: work with him on it. She gives me updates. She
Speaker 1: said he stopped taking the blood pressure medication, but he
Speaker 1: changed his dyet. He watches his salt intake and his
Speaker 1: sugar intake and he goes to see the doctormal offering
Speaker 1: so that they can manage it without him taking the medication,
Speaker 1: So he found a doctor who was willing to work
Speaker 1: with him to do those things. After he stopped, he
Speaker 1: checked his blood pressure, he stopped taking a medication, his
Speaker 1: libido started to come back. As his libido started to
Speaker 1: come back, he didn't like the way he looked like
Speaker 1: he was naked, so he started going to the gym
Speaker 1: with her. He started to lose some weight and now
Speaker 1: she was like they started to get back to the
Speaker 1: way they were. But the whole point of the story
Speaker 1: is there are things we as men go through that
Speaker 1: we don't ever express to our wives. Right. For example,
Speaker 1: We're going to do a whole other podcast on this.
Speaker 1: Some of the regret, Now, no I don't want to
Speaker 1: drop this on you, but some of the regret I
Speaker 1: feel about having a esected me. Right, Men, we don't
Speaker 1: discuss that with our wives. I do, and we can
Speaker 1: do a whole we can do a whole podcast. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll do a whole podcast on it. And it's not
Speaker 1: it's not a regret towards you, like you made me
Speaker 1: do it. I am still one hundred percent in agreement
Speaker 1: that I should have been the one to do it,
Speaker 1: and I did it because you sacrifice so much for me,
Speaker 1: but there still is a little bit of peace in me,
Speaker 1: just like damn, I can't have kids no more. And
Speaker 1: I never thought that I would feel that way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. I never thought that way.
Speaker 1: But we'll we'll have a whole podcast on it, cause
Speaker 1: I want to unpack that in how I've been trying
Speaker 1: to work through that journey, because I know men feel
Speaker 1: like that too, but they don't never express it, and
Speaker 1: it's like we're never there's never a place for us
Speaker 1: where we can talk about this. I do want to
Speaker 1: talk about it.
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll do that.
Speaker 1: But having this conversation was about health, but also telling
Speaker 1: the man it's okay to be vain and say that
Speaker 1: you also want to be young and stay young. You
Speaker 1: want to stay in that twenty two to twenty five
Speaker 1: range where the minute you wake up, your dick just
Speaker 1: hard for no reason. You know what I'm saying. You
Speaker 1: can't even pee in the toilet because you dig just hard,
Speaker 1: like when you twenty two, matter of fact, eighteen, from
Speaker 1: eighteen to like twenty five, it's like no matter what
Speaker 1: you did, gonna be hard. Like you start falling asleep
Speaker 1: in class and you wake up middle class, like want
Speaker 1: my dick card. I'm tired, Like what the fuck is happening?
Speaker 1: Like that? That goes away if you don't continue to
Speaker 1: move like you're that age. That's why I'm excited that
Speaker 1: I have sons. I work out with him every single day.
Speaker 3: Oh man, They're gonna keep you on your toil. Man,
Speaker 3: I do the whole family affair over here.
Speaker 1: Cairo gonna want to and work. He wants to work out.
Speaker 1: He wants me to work out with him. Then Caves
Speaker 1: was like, Daddy, can you get in the pool and
Speaker 1: swim with me? Then Jackson is you know, can you
Speaker 1: take me to shoot? And I'm every day I'm just moving, moving,
Speaker 1: And the more I've dedicated myself to my family, I've
Speaker 1: noticed the more weight that I've lost in, the better
Speaker 1: I look. So I wanted to I'm gonna say some
Speaker 1: things my moment of truth, but I did want to
Speaker 1: tell you that the reason why I picked that Rocky
Speaker 1: theme is because I'm fighting. I'm fighting. I'm in this
Speaker 1: battle to be exactly who it is you lusted for
Speaker 1: and you fell in love. I'm fighting to be that
Speaker 1: person still. So I got you, baby, I got you.
Speaker 3: Where you can stand on. I'm over here working too.
Speaker 3: You want, baby, I got receipts. I got receipts. All right,
Speaker 3: y'all to take a quick break and we're gonna jump
Speaker 3: into listen to Maybe I'll do one since we already
Speaker 3: kind of did one with that story you gave about. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so we'll keep it short for letters this time, and
Speaker 3: we will get back to it.
Speaker 1: We good, I'll wait for you. You good, all right? Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: do what you gotta do, bro. Yeah, that's right, that's green.
Speaker 3: Actually, all right, all right, ready, I'll do the second
Speaker 3: one because the first one is kind of like we've
Speaker 3: spoke about fitness stuff already. All right, we're back and
Speaker 3: we're gonna do one listener letter just because we kind
Speaker 3: of went through a story with the young lady that
Speaker 3: you've been dming and stuff. So here we are. I've
Speaker 3: been in a long distance relationship for six months. My
Speaker 3: boyfriend recently moved here with me. I went through his
Speaker 3: phone and found some disturbing text messages along with the
Speaker 3: video ooh. Although the video has a date and time,
Speaker 3: he's still denying it. He says that I'm focused on
Speaker 3: the wrong aspect of our relationship, but I believe our
Speaker 3: relationship was built on deception. He left his family, kids,
Speaker 3: and job to be with me. But I can't get
Speaker 3: over what I saw. What would you do in my situation? Well, girl,
Speaker 3: what'd you see?
Speaker 1: Fuck that? Like? Why would you want to be with
Speaker 1: somebody who would leave their kids, family, in job?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: Clearly his priorities are not in order, Like I don't
Speaker 1: give a shit. I'm not leaving my kids for nothing,
Speaker 1: Like I don't care, Like you could be the worst
Speaker 1: person in the world. Could you could? You could right,
Speaker 1: and there could be another woman who would be perfect
Speaker 1: for me. Ma'am, you're gonna have to take me with
Speaker 1: these kids. I'm not leaving my kids for nobody.
Speaker 2: Guess that same.
Speaker 1: That's all I saw in this all the other stuff
Speaker 1: to me, don't marry anybody who's willing to leave his
Speaker 1: family and kids and not for nothing. He got a
Speaker 1: family and kids and jobs. Was you a side chick
Speaker 1: before that?
Speaker 3: That's what it's giving? Long distance for six months? Did
Speaker 3: you not know that he was in a relationship? But
Speaker 3: I'm not sure. I'm not sure what the video is
Speaker 3: or the text messages that you.
Speaker 2: Tried were disturbed deception.
Speaker 1: Clearly his wife like I'm just being honest, Like, what
Speaker 1: are we waiting? Right?
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know if he was married, but he
Speaker 3: left his family, kids and everything. So if you hid
Speaker 3: dry left him, then there was definitely something going on
Speaker 3: that you were then an additive too.
Speaker 1: This is what is given only, and I don't judge people,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't judge on the paragraph that she sent.
Speaker 2: Girl.
Speaker 1: It is giving that she was a side chick and
Speaker 1: he left his family and his wife, probably because his
Speaker 1: wife caught him his dumb ass with a picture in
Speaker 1: the video of her, So he left them and went
Speaker 1: to go be with her and forgot to delete the
Speaker 1: stuff with his wife is a dumb mess right, and
Speaker 1: got caught with his side check. But she's only and
Speaker 1: she was probably deceived because she probably didn't know he
Speaker 1: had a She knows he had a wife because you know,
Speaker 1: he had kids and.
Speaker 2: A job and it was period. Can you send us
Speaker 2: a follow up a little more detail.
Speaker 3: I want to know what the video was and the
Speaker 3: text messages because I'm partners and I part need more
Speaker 3: context to give you some sound advice because I don't
Speaker 3: know what I would do in your situations after this,
Speaker 3: or bro, I don't know who wrote in here, but
Speaker 3: it's giving very much like we need more details, so
Speaker 3: sending a dundum.
Speaker 1: I will say this though, even without the details, I
Speaker 1: would not be with anybody who left their kids to
Speaker 1: be with me. I don't care. She could be the
Speaker 1: most beautiful woman in the world, right it could be
Speaker 1: you right now. And if he was like the villa,
Speaker 1: I love you, but I have four kids at home
Speaker 1: with it, I'd be like, well, you need to go
Speaker 1: be a mom, Like you can't be with me and
Speaker 1: not be with them kids and asks to be here.
Speaker 1: Fact to me, that's that's first and foremost that kids here.
Speaker 2: Pull up with the kids at least, right, pull up
Speaker 2: with the kids.
Speaker 1: I'll take you with the kids, like I'm on the.
Speaker 2: Job to like you just dropped everything.
Speaker 1: With the kids and your job, the job. What we're
Speaker 1: not gonna do is be unemployed.
Speaker 2: No unemployed, but we're together together. This is going to
Speaker 2: pay these bills.
Speaker 1: So that's what she should have said, don't leave your
Speaker 1: kids all your job.
Speaker 2: You can come and bring all of those in to Yeah,
Speaker 2: let's get let's get some more context here.
Speaker 3: Isn't that that's the one that we circle back, But
Speaker 3: we'll circle we'll spend the block on that one when
Speaker 3: we get more details. All right, y'all, keep writing in
Speaker 3: listening to letters. Very good time. We love y'all again,
Speaker 3: no judgment. We're just gonna give you the two cents
Speaker 3: because you asked so. Email us at the advice at
Speaker 3: gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: That's D E A D A S S A D
Speaker 1: V I C E at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: Moment of truth time. I think mine is pretty simple.
Speaker 2: Do you have one? Mine is is.
Speaker 3: Fight fight for yourself, fight for your family, fight for
Speaker 3: your spouse, fight for your health, fight for the things
Speaker 3: that matter, because ultimately you're in control of that and
Speaker 3: no one can do it but you. Because ultimately, Deval
Speaker 3: has always been, over the course of our twenty years,
Speaker 3: either the inspiration for me to want to work out.
Speaker 2: He's been the motivation. He's been the drill sergeant.
Speaker 3: He's been the kick in the ass, he's been the
Speaker 3: accountability partner, he's been a lot of things, a lot
Speaker 3: of different roles. The fact that he's even still here
Speaker 3: with me on this journey to this healthy lifestyle, it's commendable.
Speaker 1: Give yourself some credit, because no, it's.
Speaker 2: Commendable because I got that.
Speaker 3: I gave you a hard way to go a lot
Speaker 3: of times, and ultimately you only had my best interest
Speaker 3: at heart every single time, and you knew my body.
Speaker 1: Better in your thighs that far.
Speaker 3: That part you true did, but you were just ultimately
Speaker 3: holding me accountable to the things that I wanted. But
Speaker 3: it didn't happen until I wanted to fight for myself.
Speaker 3: Fight for yourself first and foremost, and you'll be surprised
Speaker 3: at how so many other aspects of your life improve
Speaker 3: when you put your health first and you invest in that.
Speaker 3: Your mood, clarity of mind, the way your body functions,
Speaker 3: your quality of sleep, just so many different things skin here.
Speaker 3: I mean, there's so many benefits to just taking care
Speaker 3: of yourself. So if it means that much to you,
Speaker 3: if your family means that much to you, fight yep,
Speaker 3: because we're not getting any younger. Getting older is inevitable,
Speaker 3: and you don't want the responsibility to then be placed
Speaker 3: on your family members to have to take care of
Speaker 3: you when you're in a position where you can't do
Speaker 3: it for yourself. So start, start somewhere, Start now.
Speaker 2: Period.
Speaker 1: I feel you. Those are great words, thanks, actually really
Speaker 1: really great words. My moment of truth is this my
Speaker 1: man's don't lose yourself, yo, Stop making excuses for not
Speaker 1: doing what's right for you. Your family can't be your
Speaker 1: excuse for you not doing what's right for you, because
Speaker 1: ultimately then you're not doing right for your family if
Speaker 1: you can't be here them, work out, drink water, get sleep,
Speaker 1: love yourself. I got one question before we go. Yeah,
Speaker 1: is it a fact that women want their men to
Speaker 1: look a certain way? Is that a fact for me? Yes?
Speaker 1: For me, yes, feel a way when men lose themselves
Speaker 1: in relationships, like when they don't look the same.
Speaker 2: Way, I would think so. I would absolutely think so.
Speaker 1: The reason why I'm saying that is because this idea
Speaker 1: that men get to just go bald and get fat
Speaker 1: and be lazy and still have a wife and kids
Speaker 1: and take care of them is okay. It's not okay.
Speaker 1: It's not okay. We have obligations that we require of
Speaker 1: the women that we love. It is okay that they
Speaker 1: have obligations for us. You love that woman and she
Speaker 1: wants you to look a certain way, and you chose
Speaker 1: to be with her and ask her for her hand
Speaker 1: in marriage, own up to that obligation. Do what you
Speaker 1: have to do. Like a thing said, and fight to
Speaker 1: be everything that your wife, or your girlfriend or your
Speaker 1: baby mother wants you to be, so that you can
Speaker 1: be a better version of yourself for you and your kids.
Speaker 1: Don't let the depression go unheard. We all go through it.
Speaker 1: We all wake up one morning look at ourselves and like, dang,
Speaker 1: I do not look the way I used to look,
Speaker 1: the more we all go through it.
Speaker 3: Yes, fight for it, for it, go get it d
Speaker 3: with your partner, whatever your partner looks like.
Speaker 2: Do it all right, y'all.
Speaker 3: Be sure to follow us on Patreon to see exclusive
Speaker 3: dead Ass Podcasts video.
Speaker 2: Thank y'all for watching.
Speaker 3: If you are and you can find us on social media,
Speaker 3: follow our Instagram page. We do lots of chatting and
Speaker 3: stuff there as well. Dead Ass to the podcast and
Speaker 3: you can find me on my social media page Kadean
Speaker 3: I am.
Speaker 1: And I am Deval And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: be sure to rate, review and subscribe.
Speaker 3: Keep doing that, y'all. We love you, dead Ass. Now
Speaker 3: get that ass up.
Speaker 1: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network, and
Speaker 1: it's produced by Donor Opinion and Triple Follow the podcast
Speaker 1: on social media at dead Ass the podcast and never
Speaker 1: miss a thing