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Speaker 1: You confession. I can't take back o arms.

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Speaker 2: Mouse speak text to sevent eighty five nine two says

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Speaker 2: I found some lumps on my cat's belly, so took

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Speaker 2: them to the vet to get them checked. Paid one

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Speaker 2: hundred and twelve dollars to be told that my cat

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Speaker 2: does indeed have nipples.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, that's a pretty cheap.

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Speaker 2: There's no cure for that, is there. Luckily, there is

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Speaker 2: a cure for any festering secrets that you might be

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Speaker 2: holding inside your body, and the remedy is sharing them

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Speaker 2: here anonymously on the mass speaker. And we have a

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Speaker 2: woman on the phone who wants to be cured of

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Speaker 2: all her secrets today. She's chosen Lisa as her fake name.

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Speaker 2: So Lisa, welcome to the show.

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Speaker 1: Hi, thank you guys.

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Speaker 3: I bet Lisa's you never had to go to the

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Speaker 3: doctor to ensure that her nipples are in fact nipples.

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Speaker 1: No? Never?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, maybe save up some money for your next

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Speaker 2: doctor's visit. But I need an inspection. I'm here, ye,

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Speaker 2: But the voice.

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Speaker 1: Changer is on.

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Speaker 2: You are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear

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Speaker 2: your confession.

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Speaker 1: So this is gonna sound kind of crazy and I

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Speaker 1: promise it's true. So a few years ago, when of

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Speaker 1: my older relatives passed away, like she was my great aunt.

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Speaker 2: Oh sorry about that, think.

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Speaker 1: I mean, obviously it was sad, of course, But a

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Speaker 1: little after, like everything was settled, I got a letter

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Speaker 1: from her lawyer telling me that her entire inheritance was

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Speaker 1: being all left to me.

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Speaker 3: WHOA did she not have kids?

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Speaker 1: No, she didn't have kids. And it was like a

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Speaker 1: very very large sum of money.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god. And that was the first time that

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Speaker 3: you were finding out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I just I found out like months after she died,

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Speaker 1: like I set a letter in the mail from her

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Speaker 1: lawyer and.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, she never told you, you know before, like, hey,

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Speaker 4: by the way.

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Speaker 2: But you know what, maybe that's part of the beautiful surprise.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I mean, and she left. I guess

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Speaker 1: everybody else was surprised because she left absolutely nothing to

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Speaker 1: the rest of the U.

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Speaker 3: Was there some drama there?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know why she chose me, Like, honestly,

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Speaker 1: I think she probably just likes that I laughed at

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Speaker 1: her really bad jokes, that likes the family gathering.

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Speaker 3: Well, guys, so you have cousins that got cut out yeah.

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Speaker 1: Tons of that in my parents, I mean, everybody else

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Speaker 1: got cut out. And the lawyer told me, like, your

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Speaker 1: aunt specifically doesn't want other people in your family to

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Speaker 1: know that you are the one getting all of her money.

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Speaker 3: Oh god, no, I mean that is so hard. Are

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Speaker 3: they going to ask who got the money?

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Speaker 1: Though? Up? So? I mean she did have like investments

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Speaker 1: and stuff, So I guess the rest of my family

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Speaker 1: was wondering, like what happened to all of those and

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Speaker 1: where do they go? And my uncle and cousins could

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Speaker 1: ask me, and yeah, I just I had to pretend

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Speaker 1: like I didn't know anything.

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Speaker 3: Whoa Oh my god.

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Speaker 4: Well, and then you can't go out and buy anything cool,

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Speaker 4: Like you can't go out and invest in a house,

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Speaker 4: you get a new car.

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Speaker 2: You can't show up wearing like all diamonds to the

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Speaker 2: next family gathering and be like, I don't know where

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Speaker 2: our great aunts money all went to.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's funny, but it's also like really hard.

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Speaker 1: For the past two years, I've been carrying this secret,

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Speaker 1: like every holiday and every family gathering, I have to

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Speaker 1: like watch myself. I can't dress up, I can't talk

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Speaker 1: about the vacations.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, because you're doing it, You're.

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Speaker 1: Spending that money. Well, I even started having to rent

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Speaker 1: a car for like Thanksgivings because I can't dress my

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Speaker 1: rain grove over there because my family rain Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: That's wild that you're even keeping that from your parents though,

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Speaker 3: Like I could see extended family not needing to know.

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Speaker 4: But no, you tell mom and dad because you want

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Speaker 4: to give them some of the money.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I just part of me feels guilty. I feel

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Speaker 1: like I'm a terrible person just for enjoying it. Part

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Speaker 1: of me wants to tell my family, but then that

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Speaker 1: would betray my great on twishes keep it a secret.

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Speaker 3: You know what, to make you feel better if you

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Speaker 3: give them money to us.

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, we won't tell anybody.

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Speaker 4: That was like insane request from your great aunt not

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Speaker 4: to tell it.

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Speaker 2: I know your great aunt is kind of petty, and

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Speaker 2: I kind of like it. She's like, I'll be watching

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Speaker 2: from above trauma.

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Speaker 1: At one point, I almost considered just donating all of

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Speaker 1: it to charity, just having to like carry the brand amazing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: at the same time, I kind of do like having it.

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Speaker 3: Giving them a tiny amount and just lied and like

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Speaker 3: that's all I got. Everybody gets too, Grid, But you get.

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Speaker 2: She didn't think that through.

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Speaker 4: Oh man, Well, hopefully it feels better to at least

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Speaker 4: tell us.

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Speaker 1: Yeah it does. I mean, I'm just worried that somebody

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Speaker 1: like my parents and my siblings are going to find

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Speaker 1: out and I'm going to like the villain and the family.

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Speaker 1: But I hope my great aunt is listening from up

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Speaker 1: above and understands the position that she hasn't hands.

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Speaker 4: What is never an issue in families, right, what's the

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Speaker 4: coolest thing you've purchased though?

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Speaker 1: I mean, my cat has like really fancy outfits now.

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Speaker 3: Oh I thought.

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Speaker 2: You were saying my cat is like a links from Australia.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, really nice outfits now.

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Speaker 2: So wow, that's the main benefactor now of the great

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Speaker 2: plants inheritance.

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Speaker 3: Okay, cat, hide your first coach. My mom's coming over here.

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Speaker 2: But on the Cuban Sirconi is the diamonds won't fly here. Well,

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Speaker 2: thank you for sharing your secret, Lisa, and congratulations on

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Speaker 2: your newfound riches.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, overall the stress that comes with them.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, thanks guys.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, text in the seven five nine too, if you

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Speaker 2: have a confession that you've been holding on to, will

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Speaker 2: hide your identity, mask your voice and make you our

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Speaker 2: next mass speaker. Your phone's apps coming up

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Speaker 3: Freaking Jeffrey in the morning,