Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and Michael Kaufman and I'm
Speaker 1: her radio podcasts.
Speaker 2: All right, I'm excited for today's show because I want
Speaker 2: to have a debate with you and actually everyone here.
Speaker 2: I'm probably gonna lose, but that's fine. It is it
Speaker 2: just because you knew I was going to lose.
Speaker 3: I can't wait for this debate. I don't even know
Speaker 3: what it's about.
Speaker 2: So we have a guest today from Bling Empires, Sharie,
Speaker 2: And you know, I was kind of reading her background
Speaker 2: and you watched Blaning Empire, and you know, the background
Speaker 2: that I've heard from her is, you know, she proposed
Speaker 2: to her to her husband, and you know, they also
Speaker 2: went out of the traditions of the Asian culture, so
Speaker 2: you know, they had kids first before they got married.
Speaker 2: And it kind of leads me to traditions and what
Speaker 2: is expected of you and Wenning laughing.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm just anxious to see where this goes.
Speaker 2: Well, so, okay, so it's like, you know, traditions and
Speaker 2: where it's what's expected you when you're in you know,
Speaker 2: you go to school and then you go to college,
Speaker 2: and then you get a job and then it's like
Speaker 2: that is what you're supposed to do. And you know,
Speaker 2: I don't know if we've touched on this before in
Speaker 2: the podcast, and I think we probably have, but it
Speaker 2: just leads to, you know, why do we all have
Speaker 2: to follow that same mold? And as parents we have
Speaker 2: polar opposites of what that mold looks like. And you know,
Speaker 2: I kind of fear where that's gonna maybe cost some
Speaker 2: tension when the kids get older, because even you know
Speaker 2: I will say this too. I mean I potentially might
Speaker 2: be filming a movie in August and if there's quarantine stuff,
Speaker 2: I mean Jolie, because Michael is very much like, you
Speaker 2: will not miss like, okay, there's eight days that Jolie
Speaker 2: can miss in school, and I'm like, she can miss
Speaker 2: a month, Like it's fine, we'll bring the paperwork home,
Speaker 2: we can do the homework. And Michael's like, she will
Speaker 2: not miss a day.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, not that she won't miss a day.
Speaker 3: But it's like, when they get into organize school, you
Speaker 3: can't just be like, all right, well I got to
Speaker 3: shoot for three weeks. Let's bring a whole family up.
Speaker 2: That's what football people do, that's what other movie people do.
Speaker 2: We would unfortunately, have to bring put her in private school.
Speaker 2: But that's what that's what you do. The family travels together.
Speaker 2: So this is just a little cavy like this is
Speaker 2: a little like peep. Let's put a pin in that one.
Speaker 3: Get your pope ready, guys, so let's put a.
Speaker 2: Pin in that one. The big one for me is
Speaker 2: college because I personally don't feel like you have to
Speaker 2: go to college. And if it's something where you don't,
Speaker 2: if it's like, you know, if she wants to be
Speaker 2: an actress, yeah, think you gotta go to college. There's
Speaker 2: some great theatrical schools. Sure, but I don't think you
Speaker 2: need to go to college. And who am I to say?
Speaker 2: I didn't go to college? So how can I say
Speaker 2: to my kid you have to do something like when
Speaker 2: my dad said you have to go to college? I
Speaker 2: basically eam the finger, drove off in my green Saturn
Speaker 2: and went to LA.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna dream dad.
Speaker 2: But it's like, you know, you're very much like you.
Speaker 2: You are a very strict traditional This is how it goes.
Speaker 3: You're putting some words into my mouth.
Speaker 2: What are you not traditional?
Speaker 4: On?
Speaker 3: What I'm saying is, look if they if Joli and
Speaker 3: Jay's come to us. And they say they don't want
Speaker 3: to go to college, I'll say, okay, what's your plan?
Speaker 3: If they have a plan, say they want to be
Speaker 3: an actor. I want to be an actor. Okay. Have
Speaker 3: you thought about going to a theater school, a trade school,
Speaker 3: something specific for that trade?
Speaker 2: Okay? When if they go? Yeah, but I just want
Speaker 2: to go out to LA and just start auditioning. And
Speaker 2: mom has some friends that she can hook me up with.
Speaker 3: Okay, then I'll say, what job are you going to
Speaker 3: get in the meantime to help pay your bills while
Speaker 3: you're out there getting auditions? Did you do you? Are
Speaker 3: you going to be a waitress? Are you going to
Speaker 3: be that?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 2: What job did you have when you were playing football?
Speaker 3: Football? Job?
Speaker 2: But was it what bills?
Speaker 3: Was it paying all my bills?
Speaker 2: I'm not talking about NFL. I'm talking about in college.
Speaker 3: What do you mean you didn't have a job scholarship?
Speaker 2: I'm no, no, Okay, great, congrats, I'm saying, but did
Speaker 2: you have a job because you didn't know you're gonna
Speaker 2: be in the NFL?
Speaker 3: Yeah, every summer I worked. What's your point here? My
Speaker 3: point is that like I worked and played football and
Speaker 3: went to school.
Speaker 2: I understand that I wouldn't you know me, Like, I'm
Speaker 2: the kind of person where it's like, hey, you're gonna
Speaker 2: like they're going to buy their own car with their
Speaker 2: money that they get from work. Sure, but let them
Speaker 2: like you don't have to drill them into like, you know,
Speaker 2: like the last thing you want is like, what are
Speaker 2: you going to do for work? They got to figure
Speaker 2: that out.
Speaker 3: Right, But also our parents, as parents, our job is
Speaker 3: to put them in the best position to succeed. So
Speaker 3: we're not just going.
Speaker 2: To say ever asked me what I was going to
Speaker 2: do for work when I moved to La I just
Speaker 2: was like, I have to get a job because I'm
Speaker 2: eighteen and I've got zero money.
Speaker 3: Right, But I still want our kids to here. This
Speaker 3: is about not about tradition. This is about just my
Speaker 3: personality of being prepared. It's I want you to go
Speaker 3: and be able to whatever scenario comes your way. You
Speaker 3: have a response for there's some preparation instead of just
Speaker 3: flying by the seat of your pants with a life
Speaker 3: changing decision, be like, ah, we'll see what it pans out.
Speaker 2: So okay, why don't you apply that to your own life?
Speaker 2: What do you mean, mister fly By? The seat of
Speaker 2: the pants. What do you mean that's how you live
Speaker 2: your life? How can you? How can you say that
Speaker 2: and then not actually live that? That's That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: You shan't be a hypocrite to your kids.
Speaker 3: How am I hypocrite?
Speaker 2: You don't fly? You fly by the seat of your pants? How?
Speaker 2: How not?
Speaker 3: How? Please tell me? How?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: You just fly? You don't you just fly? You flutter?
Speaker 2: You're a flutterer. With our book, you know the schedule,
Speaker 2: we had a schedule Mark It's like no, I don't know.
Speaker 2: With the book, we have a schedule and it's like no,
Speaker 2: the last month ukram everything.
Speaker 3: That's different than having planned versus how I work better.
Speaker 2: But one's not living by a plan.
Speaker 3: No, that's not You're taking it into a different category,
Speaker 3: different context.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying.
Speaker 3: I'm talking about when you're a young adult, they.
Speaker 2: Have to make yes, and we can say.
Speaker 3: Right, we help push in the right direction. I'm a
Speaker 3: grown up.
Speaker 2: Now, Okay, then I have a question. You said that
Speaker 2: you were going to buy them their car, and I'm
Speaker 2: very against that. I think they should work for that.
Speaker 2: I worked my butt off from my redilero. I got
Speaker 2: a job when I was fourteen, and then at fifteen
Speaker 2: I started waitressing, and I bought myself at least a
Speaker 2: red alaer up. I maybe like signed. You know, my
Speaker 2: dad signed for it, right, but he didn't pay for it.
Speaker 2: I worked for it. I paid two hundred bucks a
Speaker 2: month on that damn thing. So I'm just saying, like.
Speaker 3: I want to give and guess what if you didn't
Speaker 3: make the payments? Guess whose credit hurts your dad's.
Speaker 2: Well, but he knew I would work for it. I
Speaker 2: just okay, and this might hurt a little bit I
Speaker 2: have Why are you looking at me? I'm strained in
Speaker 2: my soul.
Speaker 3: Let's hear it. We're all waiting.
Speaker 2: Stop it making me sweat. I think there is Oh
Speaker 2: my god, No, seriously, I'm just looking at you.
Speaker 3: No, seriously, No, don't give me that like patronizing tap,
Speaker 3: Like seriously, come on, I want to hear what you
Speaker 3: have to say.
Speaker 2: No, stop, now you're like actually being rude? Now was
Speaker 2: that because I like being like serious?
Speaker 3: I'm being serious too.
Speaker 2: No. I just think if I have spoken to someone
Speaker 2: who said that sometimes they regret helping because it makes
Speaker 2: them not be as responsible for or in the value
Speaker 2: of money. And I think if there's if you're helping
Speaker 2: your kids too much, it can hurt them in adulthood.
Speaker 3: Here's what Jane is getting at, because I'll tell you
Speaker 3: right now it wasn't because yes, my parents always made
Speaker 3: sure that I could cover my bills if I had
Speaker 3: a hard time, or food in food in my refrigerator
Speaker 3: in college or whatever. By no means it was a charity.
Speaker 3: But whatever my scholarship didn't cover because it really wasn't enough,
Speaker 3: especially when I was a walk on. They made sure
Speaker 3: I didn't go hungry. But my devaluing of a dollar
Speaker 3: didn't come from my parents being there to help me
Speaker 3: if I needed it. I admittedly say it was from
Speaker 3: making the money I did in my twenties. And here's
Speaker 3: I'll say this. I've said this to other people where
Speaker 3: because you and I are different when it comes to spending,
Speaker 3: right Like I'm a little bit more Liza Fair, a
Speaker 3: little bit more open to spending than you are. And
Speaker 3: we talked about numerous times on here, and I literally
Speaker 3: contribute that to in your twenties, your power was getting
Speaker 3: turned off. You're in taketos for dinner like I was.
Speaker 2: Stealing toilet paper from the wood Ranch Grill in West Hollywood.
Speaker 3: Right, that was your early twenties. My early twenties, I
Speaker 3: was making a ridiculous amount of money, especially for early
Speaker 3: twenty year old So my value of a dollar early
Speaker 3: after college, I had a different skew on things, and
Speaker 3: that still affects me now because I was used to
Speaker 3: being on my own, having money to buy whatever I
Speaker 3: wanted and just doing it because I could. And so
Speaker 3: that's where I admit that, that's where my appreciation of
Speaker 3: a dollar has downgraded is because of that. Not from
Speaker 3: my parents helping me in a time of need, not
Speaker 3: from them, you know, helping me at with other things.
Speaker 3: It came from my experience in my early twenties.
Speaker 2: I do appreciate you saying that, though, because you've never
Speaker 2: expressed that to me before that way, Like, you've never
Speaker 2: you've never So I'm like, and now I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: that makes sense now, Like I understand now why you
Speaker 2: value money different. I've never you've never explained it that
Speaker 2: way to me. Really, yeah, So I do appreciate you
Speaker 2: being able to explain it to me like that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, just yeah, I think, just like to circle back,
Speaker 2: I think there is just I think there's healthy ways
Speaker 2: of helping your kids. Like of course, if Jolie and
Speaker 2: Jace come to me, one thousand percent, I'm going to
Speaker 2: help them because I like to be able to have
Speaker 2: the means that my parents didn't have because I had
Speaker 2: to quit things. You know, I had to quit figure skating,
Speaker 2: that's something I loved because my parents got divorced. I
Speaker 2: had my mom had to work three jobs, and I
Speaker 2: had to work because my parents got divorced. And you know,
Speaker 2: there was a lot of things that I didn't have,
Speaker 2: but if I needed it, I had to work for
Speaker 2: And there's things I wish I could say, like mom,
Speaker 2: but I will say also when our power was getting
Speaker 2: my power was getting shut off in La, you know,
Speaker 2: my mom took money out of her retirement, and when
Speaker 2: I got really sick in Romania, you know, she took
Speaker 2: more money out of her retirement and you know, flied,
Speaker 2: fled me or flew me back home, you know. And
Speaker 2: so it's like a mother and a father are going
Speaker 2: to do whatever they are going to do with their
Speaker 2: for their children, and you know, hopefully we'll continue to
Speaker 2: have the means to be able to provide I just
Speaker 2: know the value of not having it. And and but
Speaker 2: also I will say too, that's affected my relationship with
Speaker 2: money because I'm so scared to lose it that I
Speaker 2: become very controlling of it.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 2: So I think that's, you know, an aspect that I'm
Speaker 2: constantly working on because it's it's so scary to be
Speaker 2: in that situation, because I don't want to ever have
Speaker 2: to look at, you know, to like I had my
Speaker 2: two girlfriends, my two best girlfriends from Michigan were in
Speaker 2: town when I was living in LA and my freaking
Speaker 2: power turned off, you know, like it's it was embarrassing,
Speaker 2: like here I am, I moved to LA to be
Speaker 2: this actress and like my's getting turned off, you know.
Speaker 2: So I just I just think there's a there is
Speaker 2: a healthy balance. But I really I want them to
Speaker 2: know that like they can't just like they gotta do
Speaker 2: everything they can before they like they know, they'll know
Speaker 2: that I was there. But I don't want to be
Speaker 2: like here.
Speaker 3: No, I agree, And I never said I wanted to
Speaker 3: be like here, here's this, here's that.
Speaker 2: But that's a car. And I'll tell and I'll tell
Speaker 2: you what I will let me, let me do what
Speaker 2: my grand and so I said, this is what my grandpa.
Speaker 2: What my grandpa did for my brother was the coolest
Speaker 2: thing ever. And it's something I've always thought of that
Speaker 2: I want to do for our kids because we do
Speaker 2: have them, you know, hopefully by then we have still
Speaker 2: the means. What my grandpa did for my brother was
Speaker 2: my my grandpa said, if you want this car, it's
Speaker 2: my car. You got to pay me. So every two weeks,
Speaker 2: and my brothers, my brother got you know, two jobs.
Speaker 2: He paid my brother. He paid my grandpa for this
Speaker 2: beat up even had a Mary Kay sign on it
Speaker 2: because my grandma used to sell Mary Kay. And I
Speaker 2: mean it was just like me and my friends just
Speaker 2: jump in the back seats because they were the bouncy
Speaker 2: like just a big old like car. It was a boat. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But my brother paid my grandpa every two weeks on
Speaker 2: a schedule, and my grandpa very german structured. He was like,
Speaker 2: you'll pay me every two weeks. This is how much
Speaker 2: it's going to be, and by this point it'll be
Speaker 2: paid off. And so when my brother paid him off,
Speaker 2: it was like fifteen thousand dollars, which would have been
Speaker 2: the blue book Kelly blue Book of what the car cost.
Speaker 2: My grandpa gave him all the money back and said,
Speaker 2: put this in your bank, and I was just like it.
Speaker 2: Like to this day, it still gives me chills because
Speaker 2: I'm like, now that's awesome because he still worked for it,
Speaker 2: but now it's go put this in your bank. You
Speaker 2: weren't laid on a payment and now you know, invest
Speaker 2: in this, Like what a gift. You know that you
Speaker 2: taught them hard work does pay off, you know, And
Speaker 2: I just love that, you.
Speaker 3: Know, And it's there's it's interesting because there's different ways
Speaker 3: to look at you know. I feel like people, depending
Speaker 3: on their experiences, they can go one of the one
Speaker 3: or one or either direction, one of two directions. Where
Speaker 3: like we have these friends that live across from us,
Speaker 3: that our neighbors. And he grew up with like I
Speaker 3: mean food stamps, like barely any food with like Jason.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and Jason our neighbor.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and like you know, he had like four other
Speaker 3: siblings and they didn't even know where next meal would
Speaker 3: come some days. So now him and his wife they
Speaker 3: make a little money and he'll like over buy groceries
Speaker 3: because he never wants his kids to ever have to
Speaker 3: know what it's like to not have food available, and
Speaker 3: she gets frustrated because she's like, we're wasting so much.
Speaker 3: But he just it's this childhood anxiety, like, no, I
Speaker 3: never want to I never want our kids to ever
Speaker 3: have to feel that ever. And so it's you know,
Speaker 3: kind of like that where it's people that grew up
Speaker 3: maybe without money or hard times, it's they'll maybe overcompensate,
Speaker 3: where it's like I never want my kids to ever
Speaker 3: come close to feeling that, Or it's the other end
Speaker 3: where it's just like, no, I worked for this, you
Speaker 3: gotta do the same thing. So it's fine in that
Speaker 3: happy medium of still teaching then the lesson, but also
Speaker 3: knowing that mom and dad got your back, you know.
Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like we got off a little bit,
Speaker 2: but like in a great way because the end of
Speaker 2: the day, you know, if the kids don't want to
Speaker 2: go to college, they do want to go to college.
Speaker 3: Almost support them no matter what. I just here's the thing.
Speaker 2: And what if Jolie wants to propose to somebody, what
Speaker 2: would you say? And what if Jolie wants to have
Speaker 2: a baby before she gets married.
Speaker 3: Look, that's down the road. I don't want to have
Speaker 3: to worry about that problem yet.
Speaker 2: Okay, but because I think the dream world as everyone
Speaker 2: you know, but some things just happen differently for people.
Speaker 3: And it's okay, right, here's my only thing about Okay,
Speaker 3: say you know they want to become an actor, right,
Speaker 3: whe of the kids want to go out there, Jolie
Speaker 3: wants to become an actor.
Speaker 2: I mean I will, I will gladly tell them they
Speaker 2: should not do that.
Speaker 3: Right. But say say she wants to write, Okay, fine,
Speaker 3: you know how hard it is to be successful at
Speaker 3: it and to make any kind of living at it, right,
Speaker 3: And so okay, say she does that, Say unfortunately it
Speaker 3: doesn't pan out, and she didn't go to college or
Speaker 3: any kind of school. Then she comes home and she's
Speaker 3: twenty five. What career path does she have? Where it's
Speaker 3: like it's like, what you think she's just going to
Speaker 3: go get a job somewhere. Well, guess what. Nowadays to
Speaker 3: get a job, it's like everyone you like have to
Speaker 3: have a master's Before, Like when I got out of college,
Speaker 3: it's like, yeah, you know, bachelor's degree is fine. Nowadays
Speaker 3: it's like masters dot Like it's insanely competitive. So what
Speaker 3: is she going to do?
Speaker 2: Then well, I didn't go to college because I didn't
Speaker 2: want to fall back plan because in my brain, I'm
Speaker 2: like that way, I wouldn't fall back.
Speaker 3: No, I'm with you, trust me. I was the same
Speaker 3: way when I did the NFL. It's like it was
Speaker 3: NFL or nothing. People are like, oh, what are you
Speaker 3: gonna do after you know football? I was like, I'm
Speaker 3: not worried about that because this is my plan A
Speaker 3: through Z. So I get it. And with sports you're
Speaker 3: able to go through the route of going to college
Speaker 3: because that's part of the process.
Speaker 2: I will say though, that even if you don't have
Speaker 2: a backup plan, and you know, if you didn't have radio,
Speaker 2: you might have found that you're always going to find
Speaker 2: something else, whether some you're going to find something that
Speaker 2: you will end up finding your passion. And I do
Speaker 2: believe that if you set you up, set out your goal,
Speaker 2: I think you'll always land. You're gonna land among the stars.
Speaker 3: Or you'll land up at the bottom of a bottle.
Speaker 2: O what Jesus.
Speaker 3: Okay, there's other people that go that route.
Speaker 2: I will say too, I'm not an advocate for not
Speaker 2: going to college. I just want to say that I
Speaker 2: think you know, having an education and a degree is
Speaker 2: very valuable. But if you do have a you know,
Speaker 2: acting or you want to open a pl you know.
Speaker 2: I obviously if you want to go into business, it's
Speaker 2: great too, you know, for a studio. But I just
Speaker 2: think there are certain situations where maybe it isn't like
Speaker 2: the route and that's what.
Speaker 3: And that's fine.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I believe that college isn't for everybody. I do believe that.
Speaker 3: But you know, again, I just want to plan, that's all.
Speaker 2: I'm excited to just find out the proposal thing.
Speaker 3: Well yeah, so on that topic, speaking of money and everything,
Speaker 3: let's uh, let's take a quick break and then I'll
Speaker 3: intro our guests. Sure, all right, So we have a
Speaker 3: great guest today. You know, it's it's wildfire right now
Speaker 3: Bling Empire on Netflix, and so we have the wonderful,
Speaker 3: amazing sweet Cherie on the show today to talk everything
Speaker 3: Bling Empire, her baby, her mother or her baby. Sorry,
Speaker 3: her fiance Jesse was not able to join us, but
Speaker 3: let's bring her in.
Speaker 2: Hi, Hello, adorable, thank you.
Speaker 3: You know, I just binged Bling Empire this morning actually,
Speaker 3: and you know, I thought I was just going to
Speaker 3: watch a little bit Schari just to watch you and
Speaker 3: Jesse since we were supposed to have you and him on.
Speaker 3: I know he couldn't make it today, but I really
Speaker 3: enjoyed the show. It's very entertaining.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I have a lot of friends too that
Speaker 2: are so you know, just like they that's all they
Speaker 2: talk about what was for you? Like what was the
Speaker 2: deciding factor for you to be on a reality show?
Speaker 4: At first, I actually wasn't going to be a part
Speaker 4: of it because I was so busy with my mom
Speaker 4: and I was pregnant. And I told Jesse and he
Speaker 4: was like, no, I'm not going to do it, and
Speaker 4: he didn't even know who Jeff Drinkins was. I didn't
Speaker 4: know who Jeff Drinkings was, but I knew his work.
Speaker 4: And then my friend told me, and then I went
Speaker 4: to meet with Jeff and I thought it was too
Speaker 4: good to be true. And I came home. I told
Speaker 4: Jesse and he's like, no, that's that's too good to
Speaker 4: be true, like an all Asian cast reality show. And
Speaker 4: we just didn't think anything of it, and then you know,
Speaker 4: he must down the road.
Speaker 5: Jeff was like, hey, good news. You know we're gonna
Speaker 5: do the show.
Speaker 4: And all of my friends were like, oh, my gosh, Urea,
Speaker 4: like they're all like happy, but I was like really depressed.
Speaker 4: I was, you know, taking care of my mom and
Speaker 4: being pregnant and really just trying to breathe because every
Speaker 4: every day I went to the hospital was bad. And
Speaker 4: I didn't think I was going to do the show
Speaker 4: at all, really, and I spoke to my mom about
Speaker 4: it and she was just she was at first, she was,
Speaker 4: you know, against it, and she was just you know,
Speaker 4: a very typical Chinese mom. But then later on she's like,
Speaker 4: you know what, sure, you want to do the show,
Speaker 4: you should do it. And then it's crazy because literally
Speaker 4: a few weeks before the show started filming, she passed away,
Speaker 4: and that gave me my Actually, the show really helped me,
Speaker 4: helped me with a lot of grief. I think without
Speaker 4: me being pregnant, and maybe even without the show, I
Speaker 4: would just probably end up where my mom's at. Really,
Speaker 4: like I couldn't. I couldn't think anything other than you know,
Speaker 4: my mom not in my life, like but to me
Speaker 4: that this doesn't make sense, Like even till this day,
Speaker 4: I have trouble, especially during the holidays like today's Chinese
Speaker 4: me Eve, and it's a big holiday in our family
Speaker 4: and just you know, when I woke up in the
Speaker 4: morning and she wasn't here, it just kind of shocked
Speaker 4: me a little bit, and you know, the holidays are
Speaker 4: really difficult for me.
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sure. I was just going to ask you,
Speaker 3: did you know and you kind of answered it. It
Speaker 3: seemed like the show was almost a healthy distraction for you,
Speaker 3: and the fact that you got kind of your mother
Speaker 3: is blessing there at the end, you know, before she
Speaker 3: passed away. I think you're eight and a half months.
Speaker 3: It was just before Javon was was born, correct, Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's that's unfortunately, very very pregnant. Yeah, before he was born. Sorry,
Speaker 3: if there's any.
Speaker 2: M hmm. Yeah. You know, I'm curious when you say,
Speaker 2: you know, like a typical Asian mom and the Asian culture,
Speaker 2: what is I guess what is that? Because I don't
Speaker 2: obviously I don't know much about the Asian culture and
Speaker 2: how are you going to raise your kids? Like, what
Speaker 2: are some of the the amazing attributes of the Asian
Speaker 2: culture that you're going to bring in as a mother yourself?
Speaker 5: I think you don't.
Speaker 4: Yvonne definitely know a lot about Chinese food and just
Speaker 4: Asian food in general, because we eat a lot of
Speaker 4: it at home and out before COVID happened, and Judo
Speaker 4: was very lucky. She actually got to travel everywhere. You know,
Speaker 4: one baby, you can travel with them. Was easier now
Speaker 4: with two babies and COVID, like, forget it, we're not traveling.
Speaker 4: We're eating at home or we're buying to go right.
Speaker 4: And so I think your Door has a lot of
Speaker 4: Chinese values in her, more than I expect that she would.
Speaker 4: I mean, she loves everything about the Chinese language and
Speaker 4: learning it.
Speaker 5: And actually every language. She's like a language girl, and she.
Speaker 4: I don't know. I just hope I can be the
Speaker 4: type of mom my mom was to me to Judor,
Speaker 4: because it's just been so hectic without her, and I
Speaker 4: feel that, you know, when she was here, I was
Speaker 4: just like kind of being lazy, I guess, lazy mom,
Speaker 4: but my first baby.
Speaker 5: I was definitely there for Judor.
Speaker 4: But I leaned a lot my mom because you know, Mom,
Speaker 4: she came in, she did everything for me and was
Speaker 4: really close to her. And I don't think your Door
Speaker 4: knows my mom is gone, Like she knows that she's
Speaker 4: not here, but she doesn't know where she's at like,
Speaker 4: she'll ask me even today, she's oh, Popost coming in
Speaker 4: and goole, is you know grandma Grandpa? And I told
Speaker 4: her no, they're going to come tomorrow and she's like, okay.
Speaker 4: But even if she doesn't see my mom, she's still like,
Speaker 4: for some reason, feels that my mom is here.
Speaker 5: Doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 3: No, it definitely does.
Speaker 5: She could feel it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that that definitely makes sense. How old are the
Speaker 3: kids now?
Speaker 5: Judor is four and a half and Japan is eighteen months?
Speaker 3: Wow, that's that's crazy, because I guess you guys were
Speaker 3: filming obviously a while back, because I mean, you know,
Speaker 3: she had the birth of her of your son on
Speaker 3: the show, which was a pretty cool experience. Was that
Speaker 3: something that you were open to doing or did it
Speaker 3: you know, did it just kind of it seemed to
Speaker 3: happen that way or did you have any issue with that?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: I actually no, I didn't want to film my birth
Speaker 4: on TV, not on Netflix. But then I thought about
Speaker 4: it hard with Jesse and we're I and I told him, hey,
Speaker 4: you know what I don't have any footage of because
Speaker 4: when was born, he was really nervous.
Speaker 5: He did.
Speaker 4: I told him, like let's hire a photographer, let's have
Speaker 4: a videographer. He's like, no, we're not doing any that.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna do my iPhone. So he took an iPhone video,
Speaker 4: but the whole video is in slow motion. So I
Speaker 4: reminded him myself, are you sure you want you want
Speaker 4: to have a slow motion like video of Javon?
Speaker 5: Like, I don't want that.
Speaker 4: And so we we you know, obviously talked to the producers.
Speaker 4: We're like, okay, well make sure you know it's not
Speaker 4: like PG thirteen. It has been PG like really clean,
Speaker 4: like nothing, you know, grided r. And they're like, oh,
Speaker 4: of course, not sure. Why would we do that to you,
Speaker 4: Like it would totally be PG. And then to the
Speaker 4: clip and then showed me and they're like, oh do
Speaker 4: you approve? And I'm like, yeah, it's beautiful. I mean
Speaker 4: the fact that I saw Javon's first breath on TV
Speaker 4: like that just takes my.
Speaker 5: Breath away every time I watch it.
Speaker 4: Well, next cry and actually all of my family members,
Speaker 4: all my friends cried too.
Speaker 2: Well if you ever want to feel uh, we had
Speaker 2: our son actually live podcast and I regret that just
Speaker 2: because I mean, I'm like huking it I'm like throwing up.
Speaker 2: I'm having a panic attack because when I was getting
Speaker 2: like the epidural like there was the spinal tap or whatever.
Speaker 2: I mean, it was just like ridiculous. So major props
Speaker 2: to you for showing, you know, actually showing it.
Speaker 5: You only have one baby.
Speaker 2: We have two. We have a five year old girl
Speaker 2: and a two year old little boy. So yeah, they're
Speaker 2: they're fun, They're they're awesome kids. But I'm I'm curious
Speaker 2: because you know, I've you know, I haven't watched the
Speaker 2: show yet. I'm going to now because I love you
Speaker 2: and you're so cute, and you know, Michael was saying
Speaker 2: how much he really enjoyed it too. But what he
Speaker 2: told me was that you proposed, And I was just like, wait, what,
Speaker 2: Like she proposed to him? And I'm curious, like how that,
Speaker 2: like a what was your deciding factor? And then was
Speaker 2: there anything in you being like because if that was me,
Speaker 2: I'd be like, well, why wouldn't you propose to me?
Speaker 2: Like don't you like am I not good enough? Am
Speaker 2: I not worth it?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: What did any of those thoughts go through your head
Speaker 2: at all?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 4: I never felt that way with Jesse. I never felt
Speaker 4: I wasn't good enough or not worth it, because he
Speaker 4: always he's always there for me, he like physically, emotionally everything,
Speaker 4: Like even with my mom which is in the hospital,
Speaker 4: he came with me all the time.
Speaker 5: He drove me.
Speaker 4: He didn't want me to drive, and I never felt
Speaker 4: that he didn't want me. It was never about that.
Speaker 4: And I think with Jesse, he just like kind of
Speaker 4: like a snail. He takes his time and to his
Speaker 4: I mean to back him up a little bit, he
Speaker 4: was actually going to propose, uh, right before we found
Speaker 4: that my mom, you know, is ill, was ill, and uh,
Speaker 4: he had planned on it. He put like a big
Speaker 4: trip to Japan and I don't think I was pregnant yet.
Speaker 5: Yeah I wasn't.
Speaker 4: I wasn't pregnant yet, and he planned a big trip
Speaker 4: to stripand he me there with my mom there. But
Speaker 4: then you know, we heard the bad news and he
Speaker 4: obviously didn't.
Speaker 5: Want me to He knew how sad it was.
Speaker 4: My mom was everything to me, and so he just
Speaker 4: you know, stopped the whole plan. He canceled the trip,
Speaker 4: and he thought maybe he was going to post me
Speaker 4: like in between that he was hoping my mom will
Speaker 4: get better, like we're all hoping that, but she just
Speaker 4: every day it was like a downfall for her. And
Speaker 4: so with that being said, then he was gonna propose
Speaker 4: like after but then there's this like Chinese like functory
Speaker 4: thing where you're not supposed to do it. I don't
Speaker 4: I don't really know what the story is. But yeah,
Speaker 4: it's just like he told me. And then I was,
Speaker 4: g that's so slow. I'm just gonna do it like whatever.
Speaker 4: I don't care, you know, and not I don't care,
Speaker 4: I do care, but yeah, I just w my that feeling,
Speaker 4: and at that moment, I felt my mom. She's still
Speaker 4: here in spirit and she would have loved to know that,
Speaker 4: you know, we were engaged.
Speaker 3: That's so great. I was anxious to ask both of you.
Speaker 3: You know, when your kids get older and they get
Speaker 3: to that point of relationship, you know, is that something
Speaker 3: with Jesse? You know, because like what he was saying
Speaker 3: on the show, he was like, why does everything have
Speaker 3: to be so traditional? Like, you know, we have this family,
Speaker 3: we love each other, like yeah, we'll get married. But
Speaker 3: he didn't want to feel rushed or whatever it was.
Speaker 3: I know there's a lot around it, Like you're just saying,
Speaker 3: but when it comes to your kids. Is that something
Speaker 3: that you guys are going to kind of teach or
Speaker 3: preach to be, like, hey, be married before you have kids,
Speaker 3: or are you going to be more open because y'all
Speaker 3: story is a little different.
Speaker 5: I think my life was meant to be this way.
Speaker 4: But definitely for my children, I want them to get
Speaker 4: married first and then have babies.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I.
Speaker 4: Want to be there for the wedding really important to me.
Speaker 2: So what was that for you that you know where
Speaker 2: you didn't feel like you had to do it the
Speaker 2: traditional way.
Speaker 4: I think maybe that lucky. I don't know, DoD o
Speaker 4: get lucky or unlucky. I have no idea. I never
Speaker 4: in my life thought I would post to someone, I guess,
Speaker 4: and the ideas kind of came to me out of
Speaker 4: the blues. And I remember telling my friend and she's like, wait,
Speaker 4: are you okay? Like did you drink religion tequila? I? No,
Speaker 4: I didn't drink religion tequila? And yeah, she's yeah. She
Speaker 4: thought was crazy.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, good for you because you know it
Speaker 3: came across in such a positive way where it wasn't
Speaker 3: like you were demanding it or just making the move.
Speaker 3: When he didn't want to. You're like, hey, this is
Speaker 3: what I want. I'm a I'm a strong, you know,
Speaker 3: woman that wants to marry this man. He wants to
Speaker 3: marry me. I know that. So I'm just gonna step
Speaker 3: up and do it. So I love the way I
Speaker 3: thought they framed it in such a good way, And
Speaker 3: I thought you delivered it in such a good way
Speaker 3: that it wasn't out of a again, a distress. It
Speaker 3: was out of just because of you guys loved and
Speaker 3: connected with each other. So I thought it was really beautiful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm curious, And first of all, I'm so
Speaker 2: sorry about your mom, you know, for our listeners, are
Speaker 2: there any tips for you that you do like to
Speaker 2: deal with grief or someone that's lost a loved one,
Speaker 2: Like what what helps you? Do you meditate? Do you
Speaker 2: write things down? Do you distract yourself? Like what are
Speaker 2: some of the ways that you've been able to to
Speaker 2: kind of put one foot in front of the other.
Speaker 4: Dealing with the grief was not easy when I was
Speaker 4: still pregnant. Every day I had to tell myself like,
Speaker 4: don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't affect baby jabbon.
Speaker 4: And up until the day he finally came out. I
Speaker 4: thought I was gonna go home and drink and just drink,
Speaker 4: but I don't even drink much.
Speaker 5: But I never did any of that.
Speaker 4: I thought I was just gonna drink and be sad
Speaker 4: and cried out, but I actually never did any of that.
Speaker 4: Do I cry, yes, especially during your holidays.
Speaker 5: I cry a lot. Even today I cried.
Speaker 1: And.
Speaker 5: I think just I don't think too much of it.
Speaker 4: You know, know that you're whoever that passed away in
Speaker 4: your life is in a better place, and that they're
Speaker 4: they're still here with you, Like I know my mom
Speaker 4: is like in heaven, but I feel that she's around,
Speaker 4: and I don't know.
Speaker 5: How to explain it. I don't know how. I think
Speaker 5: everyone deals with a grief differently, but definitely don't drink
Speaker 5: when you're grieving. And and don't.
Speaker 4: You know, I think I was very lucky to have Japan.
Speaker 4: He helped me a lot, like he is the happiest baby.
Speaker 5: I don't know how that.
Speaker 4: Baby went through like nine months of with me being sad,
Speaker 4: going to the hospital, going on ambulance rides, like taking
Speaker 4: care of my mom, be a caretaker, a bookkeeper, like
Speaker 4: a like a want to be doctor, like a nurse,
Speaker 4: like he did everything with me and he popped out
Speaker 4: just like the happiest baby like he. I don't know.
Speaker 5: He he was a gift for me, like a gift
Speaker 5: from taught to me to help me with my mom.
Speaker 5: Literally that's how I feel.
Speaker 4: And he he just is always smiling around me. I
Speaker 4: can't like if I'm sad, I just look at him.
Speaker 5: I'm done.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 5: I don't know I feel sad anymore. He's a gift.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it. You know you're you're just mentioning
Speaker 3: drinking a little bit chery and you mentioned religious tequila
Speaker 3: and uh, you know, I know that's something that you
Speaker 3: and Jesse have worked on in a business that you started.
Speaker 3: Tell us and our listeners kind of some about the
Speaker 3: entrepreneurial endeavors that you and Jesse are doing.
Speaker 4: Right. Religion tequila another one of our babies. We actually
Speaker 4: started the from scratch and it's one hundred percent worgan
Speaker 4: in tequila. We have a Manuka honey tequila which is
Speaker 4: really delicious and that Nuka honey. I mean, people are
Speaker 4: crazy about it because they think, you know, if you're
Speaker 4: not feeling well and you take a shot of Manukahan
Speaker 4: in tequila. You're good to go, and we never marketed anything,
Speaker 4: but we're grateful for the company. Yeah, we work so
Speaker 4: hard on it. The bottles are are triangular shape, they're
Speaker 4: very beautiful. Actually, we're having a private label come out
Speaker 4: at the end of the month, and what it is
Speaker 4: is you can it's a special bottle for you and
Speaker 4: you can put your name on it and there's.
Speaker 5: Only one hundred bottles and.
Speaker 4: It's like a special private label for whoever that wants
Speaker 4: to win one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so awesome. And where can our listeners find
Speaker 2: you and find this Religion Tequila?
Speaker 4: For me, it would be Surey Official on Instagram, and
Speaker 4: for Religion Tequila it would be Tequila Religion on Instagram.
Speaker 2: Amazing. Well, thank you so much for coming on our show.
Speaker 2: Sorry that there was a little bit of delay, but
Speaker 2: thank you for coming on our show and just sharing
Speaker 2: your story with us and being open with us and
Speaker 2: authentic and vulnerable, especially with your mom. And I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: And I'm excited to watch Bling Empire because yeah, you're
Speaker 2: just You're so sweet and I'm pumped to watch it.
Speaker 2: So thanks for coming on our show.
Speaker 3: Thanks for for your time.
Speaker 5: Bye.
Speaker 2: She was so sweet.
Speaker 3: Oh she was great. You know, I wish we had Jesse,
Speaker 3: her her fiance, onto but no, she was super sweet.
Speaker 3: She came across just as she does in the show,
Speaker 3: just very like kind.
Speaker 2: You know. What's interesting is she doesn't seem like someone
Speaker 2: that would be on a reality show, do you know
Speaker 2: what I mean? Okay, because yeah, I was expecting because
Speaker 2: you see the billboard, right, and that's all I've seen
Speaker 2: pretty much, you know, because I haven't had a chance
Speaker 2: to watch yet. You know, you said you would watch
Speaker 2: it and kind of you know, fill me in on that,
Speaker 2: and and it just was like, eh, like I loved
Speaker 2: Crazy Rich Asians, like the movie, but I was just like,
Speaker 2: I just don't know if I can deal with another
Speaker 2: out there reality show, you know, like a Housewives. I
Speaker 2: just like, I cause I don't I'm not a really
Speaker 2: big Housewives fan. I mean I watch a few shows,
Speaker 2: but you know what I mean, Like, I'm just like,
Speaker 2: but she was just normal and like nice.
Speaker 3: Nor and her and her fiance Jesse are definitely the
Speaker 3: calmest out of the crew. But even so it's not
Speaker 3: as it's not as dramatic as some of the Housewives
Speaker 3: shows have been. Yeah, there's some drama, but it's like
Speaker 3: everyone's still connected and still friends. But no, Cherie and
Speaker 3: Jesse are so sweet, are such nice gentle people on
Speaker 3: the show, and she I mean, that's exactly what I expected.
Speaker 2: You know, And now I want to watch it because
Speaker 2: that's because that's the kind of reality TV I like, like,
Speaker 2: I like like if we were to ever do a
Speaker 2: reality show, I would want to be with like friends
Speaker 2: or where it's like happy and it's not just like
Speaker 2: drama and throwing tables and like hitting each other. Do
Speaker 2: you know what I mean?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 3: Unless it's like a contest to see who can throw
Speaker 3: a table further, then well I'm in.
Speaker 2: Okay, Mark, Do we have any emails?
Speaker 3: We do?
Speaker 1: This is from Hannah.
Speaker 3: She's frustrated.
Speaker 1: She says, my boyfriend went on a hunting trip with
Speaker 1: some friends after I asked him not to go. We
Speaker 1: live together and I'm a full time photographer. Well, four
Speaker 1: days later, he tests positive COVID. I now have to
Speaker 1: postpone all of my photo sessions for two weeks and
Speaker 1: I'm taking a huge income loss. I'm so hurt and
Speaker 1: angry with him, and I'm feeling so much resentment, even
Speaker 1: though he has apologized many times. Neither of us can
Speaker 1: leave the house to get any space from each other.
Speaker 1: How would you handle working through this?
Speaker 3: And I feel bad, as she asked, and I feel
Speaker 3: bad for him because of course he goes. He's never
Speaker 3: living this though never.
Speaker 2: Poor guy, poor guy.
Speaker 3: And poor hair, poor both of them, because this is
Speaker 3: just an unfortunate because think of all the people that
Speaker 3: have done. I did my buddy's weekend in North Carolina
Speaker 3: last year during COVID and you know, knowing there's fourteen
Speaker 3: of us there, no one got anything. And you know
Speaker 3: which now, granted was all of our fears that we
Speaker 3: would come home because all of our wives would have
Speaker 3: been like, I told you not to go, But that
Speaker 3: didn't happen. So I feel bad for him.
Speaker 2: I will say though too. You know that was a
Speaker 2: conver station that we had because it was sure in
Speaker 2: the COVID times. I also knew it was with June, July, August,
Speaker 2: September was that it was it was and July, so
Speaker 2: I mean it was definitely during you know, still COVID times,
Speaker 2: and I mean obviously it's all COVID times right now,
Speaker 2: but you know it's still where it was. You should
Speaker 2: really probably stay home, and but I knew he needed it,
Speaker 2: and I knew that it would be good for him,
Speaker 2: but I did say it. We did have a conversation
Speaker 2: that if either I changed my mind like unsafe for whatever,
Speaker 2: is it okay? Like would you can you stay home
Speaker 2: if for some reason I just don't feel comfortable with it?
Speaker 2: And he was like, one thousand percent if you want
Speaker 2: me to stay home, no issues at all, And I
Speaker 2: feel like that's that. And once he said that, I
Speaker 2: was like, no, babe, go like go, go, go, like
Speaker 2: you need it. Go. I think he probably would have
Speaker 2: She probably would have been just as open to it
Speaker 2: if if he was just as like, if you don't.
Speaker 3: Want me to go, well, well she said no.
Speaker 2: Yeah. But how did she say no though, because she
Speaker 2: might have been like you're not going like a controlling way.
Speaker 3: H Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I make
Speaker 3: up that she might have. She might have. She might've
Speaker 3: been like, no, you're not going, and then that's why
Speaker 3: he was probably likes, screw it, I'm going.
Speaker 2: And if she would have maybe expressed it in any
Speaker 2: more be like.
Speaker 3: Look, I know you want to go, it's just right
Speaker 3: now is not a good time. Because of COVID, I
Speaker 3: got all these shoots coming up. How much would that
Speaker 3: suck if you the off chance you came back with
Speaker 3: it right? So can we just wait it out a
Speaker 3: little longer and then I promise you and your buddies
Speaker 3: can go, you know, as soon as you can after that.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean, all sounds good in hindsight, and
Speaker 3: it sound and it's a lot harder to do in
Speaker 3: the moment we get it.
Speaker 2: So how do they deal with it now?
Speaker 4: Though?
Speaker 2: Because I feel like he totally just disrespected her by
Speaker 2: just going against her wishes.
Speaker 3: Yes, he did, and she probably disrespected by the way
Speaker 3: that she said no, and like probably didn't even make
Speaker 3: it a discussion.
Speaker 2: What if she did do it right, Let's give her
Speaker 2: the benefit of the doubt. Let's give her the benefit
Speaker 2: of the doubt that she did it right and was
Speaker 2: just like, I really don't want you to go, and
Speaker 2: he still went. How would she deal with that because
Speaker 2: I'd be like, I feel disrespected.
Speaker 3: That's really hard because I have a hard time thinking
Speaker 3: she did it that way because he went. But let's
Speaker 3: say he's just that big of an asshole and still went.
Speaker 3: Even if she came from a good place, then she
Speaker 3: has every right to. I mean, she has every right
Speaker 3: to be upset anyway, but like she just needs to
Speaker 3: continue to express it.
Speaker 2: Be like, dude, in the future, when I'm.
Speaker 3: Still sitting with me, just please, in the future, can
Speaker 3: we agree that we can talk about it and you
Speaker 3: can just come to me and tell me. So just
Speaker 3: blatantly disrespecting me and leaving because that's not cool.
Speaker 2: And let the resentment go. Don't let it stay, and
Speaker 2: you talk about it and then let it go.
Speaker 3: Yeah and yeah, Hannah, the more you remind him, though,
Speaker 3: the more it's just gonna create a bigger divide, you know,
Speaker 3: So the more you just keep rubbing it in his face,
Speaker 3: So just try to Yeah, like Janna said, try to
Speaker 3: let it go. We know it's hard. He's owning that
Speaker 3: he messed up, so we just gotta swallow it.
Speaker 2: Guys, I feel like that was a great show.
Speaker 3: Great show.
Speaker 2: Come a little close, baby, you can come closer to.
Speaker 3: Me now I can like being kind of road.
Speaker 2: You were just getting like too close to me. I
Speaker 2: need my personal space.
Speaker 3: Oh now you're too close. You don't walk intimacy, you know,
Speaker 3: the guy actually tries to get close and intimate and
Speaker 3: you're being roaded, So that's our show for today later