Speaker 1: Would you lisillion pieces? Would you believe?
Speaker 2: Bana Bana Bana bana?
Speaker 1: Banana guys, gals, non binary pals, Welcome to a Bonusode episode.
Speaker 1: Oh you know, I always do it. It's episode I
Speaker 1: do say, a bonus Ode episode. It's baked into the word.
Speaker 1: It's baked into the word, and I still want to
Speaker 1: do it. A bonus episode of bananas.
Speaker 3: Hi, Scotty, Hey, Kurtie b Yeah, it's fine. We might
Speaker 3: have a new listener that today they started, they go,
Speaker 3: what is this Banan's podcast? I keep hearing about people
Speaker 3: are up on mountaintops, up on high screaming, listen to bananas,
Speaker 3: Listen to bananas? And so you know you have to
Speaker 3: hear or something seven times, maybe twenty times in today's
Speaker 3: content overloaded society. And so today they said, today I'm
Speaker 3: going to tune in. What is this? What is it?
Speaker 1: As soon as I said bonus Ode episode, they went
Speaker 1: not for me?
Speaker 3: It went no, thank you. These guys are not taking
Speaker 3: a hard enough stance on political issues one star.
Speaker 1: Speaking of that, speaking of hard enough stance on a
Speaker 1: political issue, Uh, can we talk about the banana's blood bonanza?
Speaker 3: Scottie, Oh, great idea, Curdie B called me out of
Speaker 3: the blue, no warning text, just a cold call.
Speaker 1: In this cold call, I cold call people. I've called
Speaker 1: called a lot this last week.
Speaker 3: Yep, And I just go.
Speaker 1: I know nobody likes this, so here it is. It's
Speaker 1: the Banana's Blood Bonanza. I think we're I think April's
Speaker 1: maybe a good time to do it. Yes, that gives
Speaker 1: everybody enough time to prep So for the month of April,
Speaker 1: we are all of us are going to be giving blood.
Speaker 1: So Scotty and I will hopefully go April first together.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 1: And and the Red Cross has a Bananimal group that
Speaker 1: you can join.
Speaker 3: Download the app and just it's Freda's sign and our
Speaker 3: team name are the Bananimals.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and in April, our plan is to be the
Speaker 1: number one blood donor in America for the month of April.
Speaker 1: So let's get the Bananimals up there. It's the it's
Speaker 1: the it will have graphics, maybe we'll make T shirts.
Speaker 3: We currently we have one hundred and seven Bananimal team
Speaker 3: members and we are currently ranked where are we ban
Speaker 3: Animals two hundred and fifty fourth. We are above the
Speaker 3: USC Trojans and we are below the irs. Literally we're
Speaker 3: below the irs.
Speaker 1: How many? How many? What's nownumber one? How many people
Speaker 1: do we have to get to sign up?
Speaker 3: We go top ten? Well one, we're never gonna beat
Speaker 3: the American Red Cross donor group and the American Red Cross.
Speaker 3: So we're going in for number three, which is the
Speaker 3: Church of Latter day Saints.
Speaker 1: Oh, let's beat them. How many?
Speaker 3: And the Boy Scouts? So those are four. Now, I'm
Speaker 3: not gonna lie. It's gonna be hard, but we even
Speaker 3: if we lose, I think we can easily crack the
Speaker 3: top top ten. Yeah, we could definitely do top twenty five.
Speaker 3: So like Clemson University is forty two, we can go
Speaker 3: get them. They they don't we can get them.
Speaker 1: Okay, But like.
Speaker 3: Teachers, just the just in Generals have saved fifty five
Speaker 3: thousand lives so far. The ban animals we've saved seven
Speaker 3: thousand lives. Okay, so we're gonna we can beat some blood.
Speaker 3: I'm going to donate platelet. I'm going straight platelet.
Speaker 1: You're going straight plate lit?
Speaker 3: Great, I'm going straight. I don't I've never done it before,
Speaker 3: but I was researching That's what I'm going to.
Speaker 1: Do, all right. I love that. I was just really
Speaker 1: inspired by that dad who donates blood every fifty eight days.
Speaker 3: And I love that, man. I want twenty.
Speaker 1: I want to do that. I want to donate blood
Speaker 1: every fifty eight days. I love that idea.
Speaker 3: I went back and asked that pananimal Pamela, what her
Speaker 3: dad's name was, her nameless father. His name is Jay.
Speaker 3: So thank you Jay for donating for like his entire
Speaker 3: his daughter's entire life. Basically, it's so cool over twenty
Speaker 3: gallons of blood.
Speaker 1: And if you don't know what we're talking about, that
Speaker 1: means you don't listen to the thumbs up. I know
Speaker 1: some of you're over there hitting the thirty second jump
Speaker 1: button on the top on the thumbs ups. Thumbs ups
Speaker 1: are beautiful. They're getting more beautiful by the day, folks.
Speaker 3: And I got to say, there's a horrible trend in
Speaker 3: our society. And I don't know when it started, but
Speaker 3: nobody cheers for anybody and more nobody roots for anybody,
Speaker 3: or more everybody tries to tear. As soon as something
Speaker 3: good happens, people start to negate it and they get sinic,
Speaker 3: they get bitter, they get jaded. Thumbs ups are just
Speaker 3: about celebrating good things. And so if you're skipping those.
Speaker 3: Look in the mirror and say, why am I not
Speaker 3: happy for other people getting a thumbs up? You want
Speaker 3: a thumbs up. You can comb yourself.
Speaker 1: Up to get a thumbs up is one of the
Speaker 1: easier things in life. Because Scotty really gets a very
Speaker 1: good list.
Speaker 3: It's long speaking with This is actually a good transition.
Speaker 3: This isn't a thumbs up. This is something I did
Speaker 3: want to announce early in an episode. So we have
Speaker 3: ban animal named Jared Miller. He lives in Anaheim, California.
Speaker 3: He's been to too splitty in the city's kurt so he said,
Speaker 3: those are my bona fides. He did both la, I
Speaker 3: love these. So the recent wildfires and Altadena and the
Speaker 3: Palisades just happened to occur on the third anniversary of
Speaker 3: Jared's wife passing away. He says it occurred to him,
Speaker 3: it's very of course, very difficult. And Jared said it
Speaker 3: occurred to him that someone might have lost their wedding
Speaker 3: dress in that fire when they have to flee. So
Speaker 3: he has his wife's wedding dress. It is a beautiful
Speaker 3: size eight Jessica McClintock dress. It only needs a little
Speaker 3: dry cleaning and whatever custom tailor a bananimal might o.
Speaker 3: My god, but he is offering this wedding dress to
Speaker 3: any bananimal. So if you're a size eight or close
Speaker 3: or planning on being a size eight on your wedding day,
Speaker 3: email us with the subject wedding dress and I will
Speaker 3: connect you over email to Jared. He's giving it away.
Speaker 3: He just doesn't, you know, He thought somebody might have
Speaker 3: lost something for the big day and maybe they can't
Speaker 3: afford a new one. So, you know, thumbs up to
Speaker 3: Jared Miller for just a jaredod guy.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Bananimal of the month. Yeah, Bananimal of
Speaker 1: the month, Jared. Okay, that means the next three episodes
Speaker 1: we record, nobody gets to be Banana of the week
Speaker 1: because you already are a Bananimal of the week. My god, Jared,
Speaker 1: thank you so much.
Speaker 3: So Yeah, size eight, Jessica McClintock dress. It's a beautiful dress.
Speaker 3: I mean, as far as you can trust white Guy's opinion,
Speaker 3: it is a very lovely wedding dress that I think
Speaker 3: a lot of people so just get to us. This
Speaker 3: is not a competition. If you need a wedding dress,
Speaker 3: even if you're just if you didn't lose it in
Speaker 3: the wildfires. But you're in a place in your life
Speaker 3: where you need one and you can't get one, we
Speaker 3: might have one for you. That's all.
Speaker 1: That's great and this is this is that that's amazing,
Speaker 1: and this is why you need to listen to the bonusodes. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's a Honestly, I find that we talk about stuff
Speaker 1: pretty exciting stuff for the photoso because it's just us,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's not like there's no
Speaker 1: one to talk about or two.
Speaker 3: That's true, and we've just recorded so many episodes of
Speaker 3: Bananas with guests. We are loaded with guests. So if
Speaker 3: you like to just hear the bee boys just getting silly,
Speaker 3: bonusodes are for you. Jen Barbosa sent this in. Here's
Speaker 3: what would you rather to start us out of the gate,
Speaker 3: just splinting like thoroughbreds? Like it? Would you rather? KURTI
Speaker 3: Bee whisper sweet. Nothing's affectionately to your food. Before ever
Speaker 3: eating anything off your plate, or anytime you're offered anything
Speaker 3: to drink, you must cut your hands together and say
Speaker 3: thank you, I'm parched, and then sip and slurp it
Speaker 3: down loudly.
Speaker 1: Oh that's easy. For me, the first one I would
Speaker 1: in fact, I would like to begin doing that.
Speaker 3: I get.
Speaker 1: I think that's a great idea.
Speaker 3: It's so funny you just said that, because when I
Speaker 3: was screenshotting these and going through them, I was like, honestly,
Speaker 3: I should start whispering to my food more often. Yes, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm going to eat you so good?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, No, I love that idea because also there
Speaker 1: is a thing, there is a there's an act of
Speaker 1: mindfulness one, and there's an act of gratitude that has
Speaker 1: to happen there. You know that you're expressing that out loud,
Speaker 1: I think means something like we try and do a
Speaker 1: version of grace with the kids in which we thank
Speaker 1: the animals and the plants living their life for our meal,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't. It goes over their heads like they
Speaker 1: don't know, they go, they don't hair about it. But
Speaker 1: for me, I think, like down the road, that will
Speaker 1: have an impact on in some level.
Speaker 3: You use sixteen times, I'm going to use so slow.
Speaker 3: Isn't it funny that we grew up thinking that taste
Speaker 3: buds were in different places on your tongue, and now
Speaker 3: they're like, no, they're not. They're all to me.
Speaker 1: That was always crazy to me that because you don't.
Speaker 1: It's not how you experience food. You would you would
Speaker 1: have like a left side bitter taste and a sweet
Speaker 1: side right, Like, it doesn't make it never made any.
Speaker 3: Size to why did they lie? Just one of those lies.
Speaker 3: It was so common you could I'm sure you can remember.
Speaker 3: It was a picture of the top posters and there'd
Speaker 3: be a little thing and be like sour on the
Speaker 3: tip and it's sweet on the and you're like they
Speaker 3: were just lyned.
Speaker 1: They just made it up.
Speaker 3: One did big tongue win?
Speaker 1: But also it does how much that science is just
Speaker 1: throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks, like
Speaker 1: that is all science is doing. We take science as
Speaker 1: just this like well that's the truth, and there it is.
Speaker 1: And then it's like just go look at the food
Speaker 1: pyramid from like the fifties, Like cream was like the
Speaker 1: main thing you're supposed to.
Speaker 3: Eat the end the shipped cream. Big cream got in
Speaker 3: there hard man. They're like put sweet right on the
Speaker 3: tip of the tongue because big cream is here to stay.
Speaker 3: I know. It's like, yeah, you should eat five pieces
Speaker 3: of bread a day. You're like, yeah, where were we
Speaker 3: now with this?
Speaker 1: How could I. It's like, it's kind of hard to
Speaker 1: eat five pieces, to have two sandwiches and then also
Speaker 1: just one more piece of bread.
Speaker 3: I know. I was out with a friend that I
Speaker 3: knew he was on a doom date. It's probably fifteen
Speaker 3: twenty years ago, and he was like, Hey, meet this
Speaker 3: girl I've gone a couple dates with. We're grabbing a brunch.
Speaker 3: So I meet him in Brooklyn and he ordered a bagel,
Speaker 3: like a salmon big locks bagel or whatever. And she's
Speaker 3: the woman says, you know, eating a bagel is like
Speaker 3: eating six pieces of bread. And my friend goes, oh, really,
Speaker 3: I guess I should have ordered six pieces of bread then,
Speaker 3: and she goes, what do you mean? He goes, why
Speaker 3: I would rather eat six pieces of bread than one bagel?
Speaker 3: And I watched them, like all of a sudden, start
Speaker 3: to measure each other and be like, is he fucking
Speaker 3: with me? Or And I didn't know what side to take,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, why would you want to eat six
Speaker 3: pieces of bread? And they broke up soon after, But
Speaker 3: it was fun to see an argument just launch over
Speaker 3: you know what bagel is actually like eating six pieces
Speaker 3: of bread?
Speaker 1: I wonder if it's six pieces. I feel like it's
Speaker 1: less than six pieces. I feel like it's four or
Speaker 1: five pieces of bread. Let's look into it. I'm going
Speaker 1: to get into it right now. It's an educational podcast.
Speaker 1: Even in the bonusodes jin.
Speaker 3: Barbas, we're going with number one, whispering sweet, nothing's to
Speaker 3: our food before we eat anything off our plate. And
Speaker 3: it's I like the idea of putting your hands out
Speaker 3: like at a bar and cupping your hands and being like,
Speaker 3: I have a beer, sir, good.
Speaker 1: Here it is already. This is from wild grain dot com.
Speaker 1: Based on carbohydrates and calories, approximately three slices of bread
Speaker 1: are equivalent to one medium sized bagel.
Speaker 3: The other one you always hear is that remember people
Speaker 3: would be like, oh, drinking guinness is like eating five
Speaker 3: pieces of bread, and you're like, it's like, you know,
Speaker 3: it's not.
Speaker 1: It's calories, it's not bad. It's as far as like
Speaker 1: beers go, it's on the lower end. Like it's way
Speaker 1: better than any of you, like your micro bruise. Hmmm,
Speaker 1: I have Oh I got a story.
Speaker 3: Oh I love a story. Yeah. You can also send
Speaker 3: crazy banana stories to us. We don't mind. We just
Speaker 3: found when we did minis its back in the day
Speaker 3: that the variety was. The stratification was so great that
Speaker 3: some stories like the person doing acid for the first
Speaker 3: time hugging a dead manatee while too that story is
Speaker 3: so hard to be we didn't want people to ever
Speaker 3: feel like they had to try to live up to that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so this so we pivoted.
Speaker 1: This was sent him by Scarlett Estelle. It was just
Speaker 1: on the podcast and yeah, I'll let her tell her story.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's listen, so quick story about being a jazz
Speaker 2: club hostess. And I didn't say this on the show,
Speaker 2: mostly because I didn't feel like bringing up on the show.
Speaker 2: But this was before I became the hostess, but like
Speaker 2: just a little tiny bit before I had a show
Speaker 2: in Philly and apparently after the show just needed to
Speaker 2: eat and for some reason found our jazz club and
Speaker 2: our chef is really really well known, so he was like,
Speaker 2: I need to eat there. We were literally about to close.
Speaker 2: He gets there and the chef's like, hey, like how
Speaker 2: can I help, Like we are we are closing, And
Speaker 2: he goes and he gets he gets given him you
Speaker 2: you know, like like let's take care of whatever's happening.
Speaker 2: Let's give him a menu and he goes, no need,
Speaker 2: I want to lobster fiesta.
Speaker 1: The fuck is.
Speaker 2: A lobster fiesta. So everybody's just kind of like looking
Speaker 2: at each other being like, first of all, can he
Speaker 2: just like not read like and he just like wouldn't
Speaker 2: He wouldn't choose anything other than this random thing called
Speaker 2: a lobster fiesta. He wouldn't tell us what's in it,
Speaker 2: just I want a lobster fiesta. And had this midnight
Speaker 2: on a random weekday. Our chef had to go out
Speaker 2: source a lobster and come up with this concoction that
Speaker 2: was the lobster Fiesta, and apparently at the end of it,
Speaker 2: he goes, that was the best lobster fiesta I've ever.
Speaker 3: Held a lot.
Speaker 1: Oh man, what would be if you were making a
Speaker 1: lobster fiesta? What would be in your lobster fiesta? M Well,
Speaker 1: because it's not just a lobster party.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so I would. I would have the the
Speaker 3: chef boil or steam a lobster and deconstruct it where
Speaker 3: they cut the entire top off and filled in the
Speaker 3: shell of the lobster entirely with cooked and chopped up
Speaker 3: lobster meat and cheese and refried beans and then served
Speaker 3: on a sea of tortilla chips.
Speaker 1: I love this. This is a beautiful lobster fiesta. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go. I'm gonna go again. Same thing. Okay, main
Speaker 1: body of the lobster. All it's opened in such a
Speaker 1: way that it's opened like a like a space shuttle. Okay,
Speaker 1: like the space shuttle loading bay. All of the meat
Speaker 1: inside is taken out. Okay, it's then closed back up.
Speaker 1: But before it inserted inside are little steamed clams. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you've got all the steamed clams inside the lops
Speaker 1: all right. Then you have like you know, your your uh,
Speaker 1: your your tray that has like the three things. Okay,
Speaker 1: but this one a little tower. But this one is
Speaker 1: a little longer metal piece on top because the lobster
Speaker 1: is then dangled like a pinata, and you have little
Speaker 1: forks uh that you then hit the lobster with until uh,
Speaker 1: until the clams pour out into your into the top tray.
Speaker 1: But then the bottom tray has the lobster, and then
Speaker 1: or the middle tray has the lobster from and then
Speaker 1: the bottom tray just has like uh, blue crab claws
Speaker 1: and oysters and shrimps. Now that is a fielt and
Speaker 1: everything has a little bit and everything has like a
Speaker 1: like a hot sauce that you can put with it,
Speaker 1: and a salt so that you can dip it with
Speaker 1: the so making the fiesta part as well.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's really nice. I mean, yeah, I've pitched this
Speaker 3: multiple times on the pod. But my invention that I
Speaker 3: will shark tank the Fiesta donkey. And I think you
Speaker 3: could easily replace the Fiesta donkey with a steamed lobster.
Speaker 3: And I think what you just described is a tower
Speaker 3: Fiesta lobster, which could also be you could just take
Speaker 3: your Fiesta donkey.
Speaker 1: Can you tell me the Fiesta donkey again?
Speaker 3: Sure, it's a it's the world's first entertainment tabletop party donkey,
Speaker 3: and it is. It's very simple.
Speaker 1: You sounds simple first and foremost. I see fiesta donkey
Speaker 1: on the menu, I'm like, this must be a simple
Speaker 1: dish to make.
Speaker 3: You lift up one of the donkey's ears and hot
Speaker 3: not your cheese comes out. You push down on the
Speaker 3: donkey's nose and fresh guacamole tableside, guacamole comes out.
Speaker 1: Of his vomits, Fresh squacam.
Speaker 3: Out his nose. Yeah. Yeah, mouth vomits very good Pico
Speaker 3: to guy a salsa. And then you lift that tail
Speaker 3: molet sauce perfect on its side. It's got two side pouches,
Speaker 3: just hot crispy tortill chips. And what I'm thinking is
Speaker 3: you just put the Fiesta lobster on the saddle like
Speaker 3: a little cowboy, have a little wearing a cowboy hat,
Speaker 3: and it the lobster. Fiesta rides the Fiesta donkey into
Speaker 3: your hearts and onto your tables.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'll be I'll be honest with you, Scottie.
Speaker 1: You have if you've ever pitched me Fiesta donkey, I
Speaker 1: have forgotten completely about it, because I am thrilled to
Speaker 1: the to the to my bodes about Fiesta donkey. If
Speaker 1: you will do it, Oh my god, it's great, that's
Speaker 1: what you want. And you look into the restaurant and
Speaker 1: it's just all donkeys are already at the table. You
Speaker 1: said that donkeys are ready to go.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they bring your waters and then they sit your
Speaker 3: Fiesta donkey and the millier table. The hat has salt
Speaker 3: for your margarita, so you can just as a little
Speaker 3: squerreo on it.
Speaker 1: Of course it does stupid it didn't.
Speaker 3: I mean Sharks, I'm looking for one million dollars for
Speaker 3: two percent equity and Fiesta donkey. Yeah. I think this
Speaker 3: is one hundred million dollar company right out of the gate.
Speaker 3: Put a little Fiesta lobster on it or lobster Fiesta.
Speaker 3: I mean, that is so good.
Speaker 1: Is there a way? Is there a way we could see?
Speaker 1: Fabrication is always such an interesting industry to me, because
Speaker 1: like that is something where my brain goes. I have
Speaker 1: no idea in my mind how you would fabricate the
Speaker 1: Fiesta donkey, but it could. It could be done, right,
Speaker 1: it has to be able to be done. But I
Speaker 1: don't know who to even approach to be like, can
Speaker 1: you make a prototype of our Fiesta donkey? And how
Speaker 1: much would that cost? Would that cost twenty thousand dollars
Speaker 1: or would that cost one thousand dollars?
Speaker 3: I mean, I think it's a garage at I think
Speaker 3: this is like Microsoft, this is like Apple Computers. I
Speaker 3: think you got to get out in the garage. You
Speaker 3: got to go to Joey and Fabrics before it goes
Speaker 3: out of business. Yeah, I think that somebody's going to
Speaker 3: have to start tinkering, and it might just be me.
Speaker 3: My passion for partying might lead me to create a
Speaker 3: really good like tech pack starter thing. Yeah, of a
Speaker 3: Fiesta donkey.
Speaker 1: Oh maybe you could. You might be able to I
Speaker 1: don't know how big those three D printers are, but
Speaker 1: you might be able to three D print the body
Speaker 1: of it. Yeah, I want to. I just I kind
Speaker 1: of want to make it. I would. That would be amazing.
Speaker 1: It would be the best merch ever to have Fiesta donkeys.
Speaker 1: They would be incredibly expensive.
Speaker 3: One hundred dollars a donkey, but then you could say
Speaker 3: I have I mean, we could put a little Banana's
Speaker 3: Hawaiian shirt on the Festa donkey just to set it off.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it's just so it's a perfect party magnifier.
Speaker 3: And really, if somebody here years ago, somebody reached out
Speaker 3: and said they were like an imagineer and they helped
Speaker 3: design stuff at Disney. So if you still listen to
Speaker 3: the podcast, let's talk Fiesta donkeys, let's at least make
Speaker 3: fix one.
Speaker 1: Let's at least make one. I would just like it
Speaker 1: to exist in the world, to have one meal with it.
Speaker 3: If you think you're the kind of person that can design,
Speaker 3: I don't know, like a twenty one inch maybe maybe
Speaker 3: sixteen inch tall donkey. That's just the ultimate snacking party animal.
Speaker 3: Please let us know reach out. We will. We're very serious.
Speaker 3: We love Yes.
Speaker 1: Look, TJI Fridays is dead, Okay. TGI Fridays used to
Speaker 1: be the place. Yep, we can make a new version
Speaker 1: of TJI Fridays. Does Caliente Cab Company want to have
Speaker 1: a fiesta donkey? They could take over the market, is
Speaker 1: what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Make a corner of the market, and that's fine. We
Speaker 3: will sell out immediately once we get one in action,
Speaker 3: once we get Mark Cuban on board, we will sell
Speaker 3: out immediately. Here's another one. This is from Jacqueline G.
Speaker 3: Thank you Jacqueline G. She wants to know do mermaids
Speaker 3: primarily communicate via American sign language or any sign language?
Speaker 3: They're an international species. You know, those wet folks cannot
Speaker 3: speak or hear each other underwater.
Speaker 1: Mermaids.
Speaker 3: Do you think mermaids only communicate with sign language? Is
Speaker 3: jacquelinees No.
Speaker 1: We have proof of this the movie Splash. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: see it with Darryl Hannah. It's a horrible voice that
Speaker 1: sounds like a dolphin dying. That's how mermaids talk.
Speaker 3: That's true, but I don't know. I mean, your voice
Speaker 3: carries underwater, Kurt. You can hear Kurt's voice underwater. We've
Speaker 3: had been animals not only say they take baths and
Speaker 3: they go underwater and they can still understand Kurt. But
Speaker 3: we've had people say since we've said that that it
Speaker 3: is true that they tested it. So Kurt's voice carries underwater.
Speaker 1: Wait, yours doesn't, though.
Speaker 3: No, mine just sounds like a tug boat going overneath
Speaker 3: their heads.
Speaker 1: Oh that's interesting. My voice is higher, so it's got
Speaker 1: like lessa. It doesn't have such a big sigin wave,
Speaker 1: so it doesn't get interrupted by the water. I like that.
Speaker 3: Mermaids. I mean, it's cool to think that mermaids do
Speaker 3: have their own sign language. I'm sure they're signing something
Speaker 3: to each other. So sure they're using their tail fins
Speaker 3: in some way, just like whales to communicate things.
Speaker 1: I think they're clicking. I think it's mostly clicks.
Speaker 3: And just how horny were these sailors. Yeah, they were
Speaker 3: just looking in that ocean, seeing.
Speaker 1: A narwall and being like, I want a bucket.
Speaker 3: Yeah, at best they saw dolphin. At very best, most
Speaker 3: likely amanatee, and they had just been so starved for
Speaker 3: that that special touch that they were like, that's the
Speaker 3: most beautiful house I've ever seen. Oh, I wish. I'm
Speaker 3: actually surprised as they're a good scary movie about mermaids.
Speaker 3: That seems like a very there must be a cheap
Speaker 3: sci fi channel movie version.
Speaker 1: Oh look at them.
Speaker 3: It should be scary. They should. Mermaid should go the
Speaker 3: way of vampires, and there should be a twilight for mermaids,
Speaker 3: is what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It's just difficult to film underwater. But you know what
Speaker 1: you like, just like all the any good vampire thing,
Speaker 1: you put a twist on it, right so they can
Speaker 1: like just walk onto land and like dry off their
Speaker 1: legs and walk and then they just like jump back
Speaker 1: in and swim away, you know, like that sort of thing.
Speaker 3: There was for years spoilers did it come out. There
Speaker 3: was for years of Splash reboot with Chris Hemsworth and
Speaker 3: Rebel Wilson where it was flipped he was gonna be
Speaker 3: a merman and Rebel found Chris Hemsworth as a merman.
Speaker 3: Same movie, just it's God Splash. They were going to
Speaker 3: do a reboot with Chris Hemsworth as a merman and
Speaker 3: Rebel Wilson likes character.
Speaker 1: I know that would have been great.
Speaker 3: The number of movies that I hear about, like cause
Speaker 3: sometimes I'll pitch something to a producer or studio and
Speaker 3: they'll be like, oh, there's something in development for that
Speaker 3: there was and then nothing ever and then I don't
Speaker 3: hear about it. Also, like the night before Thanksgiving in
Speaker 3: the United States, a lot of people go home visit
Speaker 3: their parents or families, and then the night before Thanksgiving
Speaker 3: they go part with people they used to go to
Speaker 3: high school with. Yes, and some people call it Hell Night.
Speaker 3: Some people there's a lot of different things.
Speaker 1: Thought hell Night was right before Halloween.
Speaker 3: I think that exists too, the night before Halloween.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Devil's Night.
Speaker 3: We used to call it. Uh. But there's like a
Speaker 3: lot of And there was a comedy in development with
Speaker 3: some big names attached, like a Game Night type of comedy,
Speaker 3: but then they didn't sell it because they were like,
Speaker 3: Thanksgiving is only an American holiday, and this tradition of
Speaker 3: the night before won't play in China, won't play in Brazil,
Speaker 3: won't play in India. And I'm like, certainly a party
Speaker 3: movie will play everywhere and killed it. But I think
Speaker 3: like big people were attached to it.
Speaker 1: Because people know about Thanksgiving. I feel like it's like.
Speaker 3: It's like they know about high school reunions everywhere. Everybody
Speaker 3: knows to go back to your hometown and you finally
Speaker 3: have sex with the person that was four years older
Speaker 3: than you. She was the hottest senior and you were
Speaker 3: the nerdy freshman and you're cool. Like there's it's super bad.
Speaker 3: And when that one died, I was like, Oh, comedy
Speaker 3: movies are truly dead.
Speaker 1: They're dead now. It's so it's such a bummer. And
Speaker 1: also when I see one that sneaks by, and they
Speaker 1: usually sneak by as rom coms, and when I see one.
Speaker 1: I tried to watch that new one with Will Ferrell,
Speaker 1: and I just shut it off after the first five
Speaker 1: minutes because I couldn't deal with the dialogue. The dialogue
Speaker 1: was so cheesy. It was.
Speaker 3: Oh, I got stories, man, it's I I rewrote act
Speaker 3: one of Ferdinand the Bull animated movie fernand the Bull. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I got the job. I was on another TV show
Speaker 3: almost in and at it, and I got a call
Speaker 3: because my buddy was gonna maybe be the voice of Ferdinand.
Speaker 3: They're like, hey, let's do act one in his voice,
Speaker 3: I said sure. By the time I drove home, they
Speaker 3: sent me the pages. They were like, here, just rewrite this,
Speaker 3: rite alternative right, al alternative jokes for everything. So sure,
Speaker 3: and they were gonna pay me pretty good amount of money.
Speaker 3: So I was excited. Did by the time I got home,
Speaker 3: so maybe like a twenty five minute drive, they already
Speaker 3: had called once and emailed once saying can we see pages?
Speaker 3: Like yeah, So before I could even get to my
Speaker 3: computer leaving a job, I was like, yeah, I'll take
Speaker 3: a look at it tonight. Within thirty minutes, let's say,
Speaker 3: they were like, hey, yeah, we were just wondering if
Speaker 3: you could send us like the first five pages. I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, I'm sitting down to it right now.
Speaker 3: They're like great, we're just standing by for those, huh.
Speaker 3: And so they kept checking in every fifteen minutes for
Speaker 3: two days, like they would start checking in at seven am.
Speaker 3: And so I rewrote twenty five pages in two days
Speaker 3: and then got paid. And that my friend didn't get
Speaker 3: the part. And I never heard another thing.
Speaker 1: That is so crazy. Yeah, that's so crazy, and that
Speaker 1: that that that that matches like the your Pokemon rewrite
Speaker 1: thing too. Pokemon, just like people are just waiting in
Speaker 1: a room for you.
Speaker 3: Just me and Bo burn them. But I Bo didn't
Speaker 3: know I was there, but I knew BO was in
Speaker 3: the other room and we were writing the same scene.
Speaker 3: And then they just took what they liked from his
Speaker 3: and took what like mine and smashed into one scene
Speaker 3: which you can feel because mine is a certain tone
Speaker 3: and BO has a certain tone. And yeah, and when
Speaker 3: I readd Sonic, I rewrote all the Sonic the Hedgehog lines.
Speaker 3: I at least wrote alts, so they were all recorded
Speaker 3: in two days, every single thing Sonic said. But also
Speaker 3: shout out to Josh Miller and Pat They are great writers.
Speaker 3: They wrote the movie. I'm not trying to take anything
Speaker 3: from them at all. But I sat in the room
Speaker 3: by myself with a sixty inch TV screen and the
Speaker 3: final draft script and wrote two joke lines for every
Speaker 3: single line of dialogue for Sonic. And then the director
Speaker 3: is like thanks man, and then I never heard anything
Speaker 3: ever again I got paid.
Speaker 1: Do you know if any of them got in?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Some did, actually, yeah quite a few did. But yeah, no,
Speaker 3: Josh Patter, great dudes. They deserved all the credit for it.
Speaker 3: But it was an interesting thing to like really work,
Speaker 3: and then nobody's even like so funny or great you
Speaker 3: know or yea, I love to have you back. It
Speaker 3: was just like you did your job, get get out,
Speaker 3: and you're.
Speaker 1: Like, okay, thank you, I will bye bye.
Speaker 3: Thank you for putting me inside your room and feeding
Speaker 3: me lunch for two days. I'll never forget that PRISTROMI sandwich,
Speaker 3: give me a way. Steed has a good one. This
Speaker 3: is more just like advice question, I think, Catherine from
Speaker 3: Raleigh says Banana Boys. I recently started learning how to
Speaker 3: bend glass to make neon signs. Oh wow, pretty good?
Speaker 3: WHOA Okay, still in the beginning stages, and I need
Speaker 3: a problems from.
Speaker 1: The beginning stages of that. Just a pile of broken glass.
Speaker 3: Yeah, burnt hand, no eyebrows, just high as a kite
Speaker 3: from inhaling neon. I'm still in the beginning stages, but
Speaker 3: I need a project to work on. Words are very
Speaker 3: difficult and beyond my current capabilities, but I can handle
Speaker 3: fair simple shapes right now, like I recently did a shark,
Speaker 3: which sounds pretty good. That would have been a good
Speaker 3: one to recommend. Wow, uh, but any ideas for what
Speaker 3: my next neon sign should be. Thank you Katherine from Raleigh,
Speaker 3: Thank you Katherine from Leigh. First of all, coolest hobby
Speaker 3: I've ever heard in my life, and if it's going
Speaker 3: to be a career also so cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah. My first thought is a rainbow cat's butthole. That's
Speaker 1: my first thought, first thought, best thoughts, So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say it, you know, like the classic Kurt Vonneget cat's
Speaker 1: buttthole where it's just like straight line down, straight line
Speaker 1: across then to a smaller X in the middle.
Speaker 3: From Breakfast of Champions, I think, or whatever. Yeah, so Katherine,
Speaker 3: if you don't know, we're talking about in two or
Speaker 3: multiple Kurt Vroonicut books, but I think it was first
Speaker 3: and Breakfast.
Speaker 1: I think it's Breakfast Champions.
Speaker 3: He would draw what a cat's buttthole look like, and
Speaker 3: it kind of looked like a more complicated asterisk a longer.
Speaker 3: So when you learn to do lettering, you can put
Speaker 3: so it goes underneath and then it'll be the perfect
Speaker 3: Kurt von Nugut companion piece.
Speaker 1: So great.
Speaker 3: I like see as a as a capitalist, as a
Speaker 3: as an entrepreneur doing things like Fiesta donkey. Yeah, right,
Speaker 3: with a lopster.
Speaker 1: I mean a lot of people talk about you and
Speaker 1: the first word out of their mouth is entrepreneur, capitalist.
Speaker 3: True. Uh so, I think you should do a really
Speaker 3: cool faucet with a really cool drop coming out of
Speaker 3: the faucet, A classic, right, classic? I love that, and
Speaker 3: then go sell it to a local plumber, or go
Speaker 3: sell it to a local bar, or go sell it
Speaker 3: to a local water company, because as water becomes, like
Speaker 3: in La, we just have water companies all over the
Speaker 3: place where you buy bottled water. So prack it seems
Speaker 3: like a fairly easy shape eight looking fawcet ye with
Speaker 3: a drop coming out. That would be my guess.
Speaker 1: That's great or just or just a beer bottle or
Speaker 1: like an alcohol bottle shape with if I don't know
Speaker 1: if three x's are possible in the middle, you know,
Speaker 1: I guess that would be a different piece. But that's
Speaker 1: that would be a classic, you know, rum bottle with xxx.
Speaker 3: Ooh, you could sell that to any local bar. That
Speaker 3: would be a fun one. I like that one. That's
Speaker 3: our advice for that one. Okay, here's a fun one
Speaker 3: from Fallen Harrington, and gosh, don't we just uh love
Speaker 3: that Fallon Harrington? That is a great name.
Speaker 1: Fallin f A L l O N F A l
Speaker 1: O N amazing.
Speaker 3: I believe it Fallon might be an Australian ban animal.
Speaker 1: Okay, that would make sense because I've never heard Fallon
Speaker 1: is a first name in a.
Speaker 3: Possibly fallen If you're not my apologies, I'm not a
Speaker 3: super weirdo, I swear, but I have a would you rather?
Speaker 3: Would you see? Yeah, we will be the judge of that.
Speaker 3: Would you rather? Every time you throw up get sick
Speaker 3: from drinking stomach flu, you name it your puke gun? Okay?
Speaker 3: When it comes out, it is either accompanied by the
Speaker 3: Seinfeld theme song or the Friend's theme song on volume
Speaker 3: full ten blast, even when you're dry heaving. Great, that's it,
Speaker 3: that's great. I would you rather have the Seinfeld theme
Speaker 3: song while you're bar fin or the Friend's theme song
Speaker 3: while you're bar fin?
Speaker 1: So the so the because for me Seinfeld I can
Speaker 1: just hear the bass riff of in between scenes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's all it was.
Speaker 1: That's all it was. That seems funnier to me than
Speaker 1: sign than friends.
Speaker 3: Yeah. The only thing about the Friends Them song is
Speaker 3: the clap. It would be fun to in between your
Speaker 3: first clap to go.
Speaker 1: Uh huh, yeah, yeah, I hear that.
Speaker 3: Also, the first lyric is so no one told you
Speaker 3: life was going to be this way, you're just barfing.
Speaker 1: Also, what I don't understand too is does the song
Speaker 1: play out of your own mouth or does it just
Speaker 1: kind of play in the in the universe, in the
Speaker 1: world that you're in.
Speaker 3: You know, if everybody can hear it, I would go Seinfeld. Also,
Speaker 3: I'm pretty lucky. I don't throw up that often meany there. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I really have to be actual sick like flu. I
Speaker 3: don't throw up from drinking, and if I have food poisoning,
Speaker 3: it's it's pretty rare too, So I'm gonna go Seinfeld. Also,
Speaker 3: even though I think I'll be there for you while
Speaker 3: you're really going hard is very funny and the clap
Speaker 3: is very funny, and found says follow up, if you
Speaker 3: had to pick one throw up soundtrack song, what would
Speaker 3: it be? Oh?
Speaker 1: Okay? Also, it would it because of the rarity of
Speaker 1: throwing up, I think this question is better done for
Speaker 1: the opposite of throwing up for the old the d
Speaker 1: for the old do rio uh, that would be very
Speaker 1: funny because of bathroom and then you go into the
Speaker 1: public bathrooms like boom, but don't boom boom.
Speaker 3: Again because then there's a lot of strangers. Bathrooms have
Speaker 3: a soundtrack going on, play Highway to the danger Zone
Speaker 3: the whole time in every public bathroom in America, and
Speaker 3: people be having such a great time.
Speaker 1: Amount of times you walk into a bathroom like a
Speaker 1: costco or something is just dead. Silence is insane. There
Speaker 1: should be loud noises happen at like broadcast into every bathroom.
Speaker 3: Know that there are greatest hits CDs of one man bands,
Speaker 3: self recorded guys with kazoos and bells and triangles, and
Speaker 3: just play that. Just give everybody the privacy they deserve.
Speaker 1: I imagine it would be fun if it was the intro
Speaker 1: to She's a Runaway by bon Jovi, and then when
Speaker 1: it goes but that's when you vomit, so you're feeling
Speaker 1: nauseous and it's yeah.
Speaker 3: I think Neil Diamonds were coming to America would be mine.
Speaker 3: If we were around the world, we're coming to America today,
Speaker 3: that would be mine.
Speaker 1: I think that great question is a really delightful question.
Speaker 3: What's that, Selene Denswer, I'm your lady. That would also
Speaker 3: be really funny to me because I'm your lame and
Speaker 3: I'm just vomiting, so you are don't impress me. What
Speaker 3: should I have? Twains that don't impress me much while
Speaker 3: you're just getting really sick, so you're a brad pitt.
Speaker 1: What about baby elephant Walk, Henry Mancini's baby Elephant Walk?
Speaker 3: You know, I'm a huge fan of that. That was
Speaker 3: panic in pitches when Kurt and I would pitch TV
Speaker 3: shows and movies together, if we both would promise each other,
Speaker 3: if we ever got stuck and just had a brain
Speaker 3: fart and couldn't remember what came next to the pitch,
Speaker 3: I would just start doing. Kurt would start dancing just
Speaker 3: like arms in the air, like thumbs in his arm pits,
Speaker 3: arms out like wings, and just strutting around just to
Speaker 3: be like, these guys are fun and funny. We never
Speaker 3: had to do that. We were always well prepared. We
Speaker 3: did wave pitching together, and maybe one day, if television
Speaker 3: ever comes back, we'll pitch again.
Speaker 1: If it ever exists again, all right, send us home one, Scottie.
Speaker 3: Here's one that actually seems like real advice. Audrey. I'm
Speaker 3: not going to say your last name, but Audrey, this
Speaker 3: is for you. I have a request of advice. My
Speaker 3: oldest son is twenty three and he still lives with us.
Speaker 3: He's a fantastic kid. He goes to community college. He
Speaker 3: works summer jobs as a house painter, which is a
Speaker 3: great job. Yeah, and he helps her out around the house.
Speaker 3: He's a lot of fun. He even pays monthly rent.
Speaker 3: But he's twenty three and he seems to have little
Speaker 3: interest in moving out. How the heck do we get
Speaker 3: this twenty three year old son to move out?
Speaker 1: Kurt just constantly walking into his room without knocking. That's
Speaker 1: how you do it. Just constant invasion of privacy. That's
Speaker 1: the easiest, simplest way to do it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true. There was a years ago, twenty year
Speaker 3: old joke. Judifried Lander had the joke that it was like,
Speaker 3: you think your mom walking into your well into your
Speaker 3: room while you're masturbating is the worst thing that can
Speaker 3: happen to you, But the actual worst thing can happen
Speaker 3: to you is when she walks in two rooms for
Speaker 3: the second time that day and catches you masturbating again.
Speaker 3: That is college level joke, and it is so funny.
Speaker 3: The first time you said that, I just like fell
Speaker 3: out of my chair the second time she walked. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so bombarding him. You know this is interesting When we
Speaker 3: had Lauri kil Martin and we talked about this too.
Speaker 3: We've talked about this with a lot of our guests
Speaker 3: who have teenage kids. Yeah, that they don't want to
Speaker 3: get their driver's licenses. They just happy to be driven around. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and where you and I just could not wait to
Speaker 3: drive to Freedom and just make trouble and go, honestly,
Speaker 3: go buy French fries with our friends.
Speaker 1: It yes, incredible, exactly, and they go make make make
Speaker 1: a drink at the taco bell that had all the
Speaker 1: flavors in it.
Speaker 3: I guess my real ish advice would be divert the
Speaker 3: money he pays to you and rent into an apartment
Speaker 3: without him knowing, one bedroom, simple a studio apartment nearby
Speaker 3: in a nice building, and slowly start moving one item
Speaker 3: over a day until he notices. And when he goes,
Speaker 3: hey have you seen my guitar? Hey have you seen
Speaker 3: my whatever? My overhauls he's a painter who knows maybe
Speaker 3: he's in the band Dexy's Midnight Runners. Ye go, yeah,
Speaker 3: I have here. Let me show you and then put
Speaker 3: him in your car and drive him over to and
Speaker 3: already moved into semi moved into apartment, and buy him
Speaker 3: a new bed. I always feel like, if there's a
Speaker 3: nice get this kid. He's twenty three, get this kid
Speaker 3: a queen. He doesn't need a king yet, he hasn't
Speaker 3: a king status.
Speaker 1: No he's not.
Speaker 3: Get him. I mean, if you have to get him
Speaker 3: a double do it. Get a bed, an actual bed frame,
Speaker 3: so that if he ever has somebody come over, they go,
Speaker 3: oh cool is mattress and box spring arno on the floor.
Speaker 1: This is amazing, This is an amazing man.
Speaker 3: I'm going to marry this adult man. So yes, I
Speaker 3: would divert the rent he's paying into a nice apartment
Speaker 3: nearby that you have a hunch he's gonna like, and
Speaker 3: then one item a day, just move it in there
Speaker 3: until he notices, and then he's already he's already halfway there.
Speaker 1: He's already there. And folks, that is a bonus.
Speaker 3: Sod.
Speaker 1: That's our advice, that's our answers to your questions, and
Speaker 1: those are your stories. Thank you so much for listening.
Speaker 1: Thank you to everyone, and exactly right. Thank you to
Speaker 1: Lisa Maggot, Thank you to Katie Levine. Thank you to you,
Speaker 1: Scottie Landis.
Speaker 3: Thank you to you, Kurt Brown Oler. We love you guys.
Speaker 3: Keep your heads up, keep moving forward. Bananas Bananas just
Speaker 3: a passionate roller skate dancer. Bananas is an exactly right
Speaker 3: media production. Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine. The
Speaker 3: catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahan.
Speaker 1: Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
Speaker 3: And our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen Kilgareff and
Speaker 3: Georgia Hertstart.
Speaker 1: And Lisa get As our full human not a robot
Speaker 1: intern
Speaker 3: Mhm