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Speaker 1: It occurred to me that when I've talked about Megan Markel,

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Speaker 1: sometimes people are like, why are you so obsessed? Most

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Speaker 1: people agree with me, but I need to say something.

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Speaker 1: I need you know I am obsessed because it was

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Speaker 1: almost a career ender for me saying crimea River. You

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Speaker 1: do not understand. Sometimes I'm early. Sometimes i'm early. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I review a cool brand before anyone else, Then a

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Speaker 1: year later it becomes the it thing to do. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I talk about someone and it's unpopular, and then people

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Speaker 1: say it later. I remember secretly thinking, inside, Brittany is

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Speaker 1: going to be freed, right, but there seems to be

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Speaker 1: some questionable stuff going on with her, so like should

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Speaker 1: you know? Things are unpopular to say. So I was

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Speaker 1: all it was. I liked to Mega Markell. I was

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Speaker 1: team Meghan. I was down for the wedding, was into it,

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Speaker 1: was excited, the people's princess, the whole deal I was

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Speaker 1: all about. Then all of a sudden, she's going on

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Speaker 1: OPRAH and she's megs it and it's this whole thing,

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Speaker 1: and I thought, what the fuck? And all I said

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Speaker 1: was crime a River. Like it wasn't like I was

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Speaker 1: team not Meghan. I just thought crime a River got destroyed,

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Speaker 1: lost two major major brand deals like a lot of money,

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Speaker 1: and Piers Morgan lost his fucking job over it. Sharon

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Speaker 1: Osborne lost her job. Let's not forget that Sharon Osborne

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Speaker 1: and Piers Morgan lost their jobs over talking about Meghan

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Speaker 1: like they were just talking about it. And you're in

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Speaker 1: the Royal family, okay, you wanted to leave the way

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Speaker 1: they left, the clunkiness, the abruptness, their choice a disaster,

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Speaker 1: a pr disaster. Every move they've made has been a

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Speaker 1: botch job. I said this in my divorce. Every time

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Speaker 1: my ex would think something was important and wanted to

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Speaker 1: go back to court with all these divorce side shows,

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Speaker 1: it was a total fuck up. The judge was like,

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Speaker 1: what the hell? And he botched it. He botched everyone.

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Speaker 1: He at every branch on the Boch tree. Meghan and

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Speaker 1: Harry have hit every branch on the bach tree. Why

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Speaker 1: because you have a person. It is two insecure parties

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Speaker 1: that never were really in the main spotlight in their

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Speaker 1: own lives, that are colliding and aligning and getting married.

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Speaker 1: So Harry was the self proclaimed spare air. He wasn't

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Speaker 1: the one anyone cared about. He didn't get the attention

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Speaker 1: he's not the king to be. I feel for you.

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Speaker 1: I get it, but do not live out that insecurity

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Speaker 1: in everything you do. Okay, move over to Meghan great actress.

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Speaker 1: Did the briefcase game show? No problem? Did suits a

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Speaker 1: show that no one had heard of? No problem? Now

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Speaker 1: she got her moment. She wanted to be famous. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is her fame. Now she gets made up awards

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Speaker 1: so she can bring in money and fame and awareness

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Speaker 1: to events that we would never know know about. No problem.

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Speaker 1: But you have two people that were previously not that

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Speaker 1: relevant in the mainstream. They were sort of the Fredo

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Speaker 1: of their respective careers and lives, and they both got

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Speaker 1: together and now the world just catching up. They fucked

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Speaker 1: it up good. Now you gotta get out of it.

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Speaker 1: It's not my business, but I don't give a good fuck.

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Speaker 1: You fucked up a dream, turned it into a nightmare,

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Speaker 1: and you're the laughing stock. I would rather be disliked

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Speaker 1: like I am disliked by many. I would rather be

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Speaker 1: disliked than be a joke. To be thought of as

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Speaker 1: a joke is demoralizing, degrading. I may be disliked Piers

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Speaker 1: Morgan actually may be disliked, but he's not a joke,

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Speaker 1: Like he is not a joke. You may dislike him,

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Speaker 1: people dislike Candice Owens, and and then align that with politics,

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Speaker 1: like you have to align Megan Peers and cantic zones

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Speaker 1: of politics, which doesn't make any sense. There are three

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Speaker 1: individual people that are not married to each other, that

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Speaker 1: make different choices and different mistakes. And I'm not married

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Speaker 1: to any of them, but I will say they have

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Speaker 1: lost their base, they have lost celebrities. They are a disaster.

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Speaker 1: Let's talk about Jeff Bezos, who got engaged to Lauren Sanchez,

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Speaker 1: who I've met. I've talked about Lauren Sanchez because I've

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Speaker 1: met her, I know her, I know her ex husband.

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Speaker 1: She's always been nice. I like her. She's the anti

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Speaker 1: Megan Markle. She's the antithesis of Megan Markle. She's marrying

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Speaker 1: one of the richest humans on the globe and she

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Speaker 1: just wears tank tops. The two of them work out

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Speaker 1: all day, all night. She is moving into zena, the

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Speaker 1: princess warrior category. Like she her body is ripped and

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Speaker 1: she will cut a bit. You could tell she will

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Speaker 1: fuck you up. She could kick Jeff Bezos's ass. But anyway,

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Speaker 1: they're engaged. She grabbed the bag. She's been married to

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Speaker 1: Patrick Whitezel, one of the most powerful uber agents on

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Speaker 1: the planet Earth, who owns part of Endeavor. Fuck y'all, motherfucker,

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Speaker 1: it is not a game. She was married to an

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Speaker 1: NFL player. Oh and now she's getting married to Jeff Bezos.

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Speaker 1: Lauren Sanchez soon to be Bezos has to follow nobody's

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Speaker 1: fucking rules. She's a five hundred million dollar yacht. She

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Speaker 1: there's nothing to say. It's like, it's epic. Grab the bag,

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Speaker 1: bag the elephant, like he's hot, shit, he's smart, he's rich,

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Speaker 1: he's ripped. They give zero point zero fox. They are

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Speaker 1: Jesus Jesus Christ plus Jeff Bezos equals Jesus worship. Respect,

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Speaker 1: bowed down, drop dead. She could do whatever the fuck

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Speaker 1: she wants. Laurence Sanchez won close the ride. We will

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Speaker 1: no longer be accepting applicants. She won the game. Gotta

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Speaker 1: give her respect, gotstu, got no fucking choice. Started learning

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Speaker 1: how to fly a helicopter. Oh guess what Jeff Bezos

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Speaker 1: flies helicopters or is interested in helicopter I don't give

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Speaker 1: a good fuck. She saw the bag, she grabbed it.

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Speaker 1: The ride is now closed. Sorry, folks, park close. Jesus

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Speaker 1: won dead. Can't believe it, can't stop talking about it. Obsessed.

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Speaker 1: You think I'm obsessed with Megan Markle, I'm obsessed with

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Speaker 1: Laurence Sanchez and Jeff Bezos. I cannot stop talking about it.

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Speaker 1: I will not stop talking about it follows no fucking

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Speaker 1: rules and is now a billionaire game over obsessed. I

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Speaker 1: thought I was smart, I thought it was successful. I

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Speaker 1: thought I had choices in my own life. Then I

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Speaker 1: went to another one of Brin's middle school concerts the

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Speaker 1: last time. As I told you guys, I fucked it

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Speaker 1: up pretty good because I went there and I saw

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Speaker 1: somebody that I know who has a child and my

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Speaker 1: daughter's great and I made the fatal error of saying, oh, Brin,

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Speaker 1: you know such and such. No, oh my god, fu shit,

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Speaker 1: the mom, No, don't what are you doing? Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: what are you I'm like, oh my god, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: And the other girl, not just my own child, looked

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Speaker 1: at me like I had fifteen heads, like was like,

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Speaker 1: what are you doing? Like what? Yeah, I know your

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Speaker 1: kid and we're in the same class. You're WEIRDO. Why'd

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Speaker 1: you just bring that up? Like? Why would you like

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Speaker 1: make that obvious connection, like when they're four years old,

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Speaker 1: when there's seven years like yo, yeah, oh Jamie, this

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Speaker 1: is Brenn. You both are seven years old and you

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Speaker 1: both like frosting and ice cream and rain. But like, no,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't work. Now. Middle school is a fucking dangerous game.

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Speaker 1: Don't try it. Okay, don't try it. And I know

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Speaker 1: the kids in her middle school who are fans of

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Speaker 1: mine who listen to this podcast. Sorry for the cursing,

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Speaker 1: because they all are fans. They'll listen while they know. So, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I go to another middle school concert. No problem. I

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Speaker 1: will not bring you balloons, I won't bring flowers. I

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Speaker 1: won't make a big deal whatever I found out recently.

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Speaker 1: So she wants me to go to every concert. No problem.

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Speaker 1: I go to every concert now I found out. She

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Speaker 1: finds it boring. She finds, you know, the band boring.

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Speaker 1: They're good, by the way, nothing better than when your

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Speaker 1: money is put to work, Like you send your kids

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Speaker 1: to private school and you see that that band is amazing,

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Speaker 1: Like there are future like Yo Yoma's in her school. Okay,

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Speaker 1: they're freaking good. So they're good, Like there are solos

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Speaker 1: and I looked at the parent next to me, and

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Speaker 1: she's like, wow, this costs more than my medical school.

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Speaker 1: And I go, I know. We're both like, you know what,

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Speaker 1: when it's good, it's good. Okay. So that brings me

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Speaker 1: to my next point. There was a kid in eighth grade.

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Speaker 1: He did a gorgeous solo. He stood up, it was amazing.

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Speaker 1: I was like, what the hell I was sending clips

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Speaker 1: to Paul Brinn. Lets me know, Ah, it's kind of boring,

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Speaker 1: Like I don't care because I was like, no, band

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Speaker 1: is good, this is good, they're good. You should focus

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Speaker 1: on this. Like Taylor Swift plays many instruments. She's like,

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Speaker 1: it's boring, then what the hell do you need me

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Speaker 1: here for? Respectfully, you're a little p and a c

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Speaker 1: of little children that I could barely see, and I

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Speaker 1: would just come in to see each other, see each

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Speaker 1: other at home. If you don't find it interesting, then

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Speaker 1: I don't. I mean, if you find it interesting and

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Speaker 1: you want me to see all your wonderful great, But

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Speaker 1: if you don't care, I don't care. I'll put up

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Speaker 1: a fucking like one of those oscar is like pictures

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Speaker 1: of myself, like one of those like not plastic, like

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Speaker 1: a wood. It's my face on a like stick and

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Speaker 1: put it in my chair. I was there, Who cares?

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Speaker 1: She didn't even see her other parent there. She didn't

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Speaker 1: even know if they were there. All right, So I'll

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Speaker 1: get it. I'll get a stand and I'll hire an actor.

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Speaker 1: What are we doing here? You don't care? No problem.

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Speaker 1: I leave the concert. Then I go find her outside

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Speaker 1: and it's like we don't even know each other, Like

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Speaker 1: we're looking at each other and it's weird, and she

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Speaker 1: kind of like wants to find her friends, and I

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Speaker 1: want to find her friends too, because they're fans and

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Speaker 1: they'll give me attention. She doesn't give me. And so

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Speaker 1: like we're standing there outside, I came, okay, that was great.

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Speaker 1: Ew No, it wasn't okay. It wasn't great. It sucks.

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Speaker 1: I hate your school, I hate you, I hate instruments.

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Speaker 1: Fuck this, what are we doing? So now I'm standing outside,

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Speaker 1: just waiting to leave, because I would I want to go,

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Speaker 1: Like it's seven thirty at night on a Wednesday, Like

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Speaker 1: I'd rather be home in fuzzy pajamas eating potato chips.

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Speaker 1: Like I don't know what either of us would. You

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Speaker 1: didn't want to be there, don't drag me into your misery. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So we leavelast time. I fucked it up pretty good

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Speaker 1: by saying like that she and her friend, not her friend,

185
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Speaker 1: her classmate know each other. That's a disaster. I'm uncool.

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Speaker 1: So then we're leaving and I see the big kid

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Speaker 1: who did the solo, and I say that, oh, that

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Speaker 1: was great and nice job. No, ill, no, don't do that.

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Speaker 1: What are you doing? Do not do that. I'm like,

190
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Speaker 1: I could do whatever I want. I could do whatever

191
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Speaker 1: I want. She's like, no, don't. I'm like, no, you

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Speaker 1: you don't. You shut up? Like there's a shits creek

193
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Speaker 1: with her. She's like, you shut up, dude, you shut up.

194
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Speaker 1: I was like, brin, she was like nothing. I'm like, no,

195
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Speaker 1: I could do what I want as a grown ass

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Speaker 1: woman who's paying this goddamn bill. And so she's like, no,

197
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Speaker 1: you can't, Like she needed to drive home that I

198
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Speaker 1: can't not. Five minutes later do I run into one

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Speaker 1: of her friend's parents, who says, oh, great job. Rain

200
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Speaker 1: Bin's like, cank you. I'm like, what the heck? What

201
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Speaker 1: was that? I just did that two minutes ago? I

202
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Speaker 1: got dreamed. So I did a TikTok, and I told

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Speaker 1: my people and they were like, oh, no, middle school.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know this. I didn't know this was a thing.

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Speaker 1: They're like, oh, no, middle school is relentless. Don't look

206
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Speaker 1: in their face, don't talk to them, they said. Parents

207
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Speaker 1: were saying like, I'm not allowed to talk to people

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Speaker 1: in the back seat of my car. I'm like, wait,

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Speaker 1: I'm now a fucking driver. What You're not allowed to

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Speaker 1: talk to them? Don't make eye contact, You're not cool.

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Speaker 1: Everything you say is wrong. You're a loser. I was like, what,

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Speaker 1: what the what? So I left there demoralized, disinterested. I

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Speaker 1: felt duped. She wants me to drag it to her

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Speaker 1: mad like, I'm not coming. If you're not interested, I'm

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Speaker 1: not going. So guess what. You can have my seat

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Speaker 1: at the contract. Oh, we also have to listen to

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Speaker 1: two other grades play music that many of those kids

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Speaker 1: don't care about either. So wait, my own kid's not interested.

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Speaker 1: Now I gotta sit there and wait there like it's

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Speaker 1: all It's like, this is a performance for us to

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Speaker 1: know that our money as well spent because the music

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Speaker 1: is phenomenal, and they should just be like, no, don't

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Speaker 1: give a shit. Kids, fire Brint. She should be fired

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Speaker 1: from this instrument. If you don't give a shit, let's

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Speaker 1: focus really hard on the give a shit kids. Because

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Speaker 1: that fucking kid who did a stand up solo that

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Speaker 1: I complimented, I will. I'll go there to see him perform.

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Speaker 1: I don't need to see my own listless, lackadaisical middle

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Speaker 1: schooler who thinks I'm uninteresting and doesn't have to even talk.

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Speaker 1: Get her out of the way. Fire Brint, Fire her

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Speaker 1: and all the other kids that think it's boring. They're

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Speaker 1: not gonna suddenly get interested in this. That dog and

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Speaker 1: that that horse has left the barn. Give us caviar,

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Speaker 1: give us champagne, Get those other kids out of the way.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to spend money on teaching my kid

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Speaker 1: sell her flute. Put it towards the caviar a budget.

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Speaker 1: I'll watch that kid, okay, or I don't have to

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Speaker 1: go inf I ten people. Take them to Hawaii on

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Speaker 1: the budget to get like we're we're fucking around here,

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Speaker 1: get to the meat of the matter. Give them money.

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Speaker 1: I'll pay the money too. I am interested in music.

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Speaker 1: I love it. We're making future tailor swifts. Don't make

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Speaker 1: me go to see my kid, who doesn't even care.

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Speaker 1: Get that. I don't give a shit. Kids out of

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Speaker 1: the goddamn way. Get the soloist, the cute girl who

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Speaker 1: did the who does the violin, who does the two?

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Speaker 1: Who cares? Who stands up? Who does a solo? A

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Speaker 1: lot of people, she's like a celebrity in the band.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people go up to her. I want

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Speaker 1: to watch those kids. Get it out of the way.

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Speaker 1: Make my kid watch that kid. Fine, but like, don't

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Speaker 1: waste the money.