1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:03,760 Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:07,000 Speaker 1: with I our radio. It's another episode of the Almost 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:11,040 Speaker 1: Famous podcast. Today we are very very fortunate, very lucky, 4 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: I would say, to have a very special host with me, Layton. 5 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 1: Welcome to the podcast. Man. Man, last time I saw you, 6 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:24,040 Speaker 1: you were kicking everyone's button golf, and now here we 7 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 1: are on a maybe a little bit more equal playing field. 8 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: I like my chances of speaking a lot versus playing golf, 9 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 1: so I might be able to hang with you this time. 10 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,000 Speaker 1: This is gonna be a good episode because you just 11 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 1: said the one compliment in the world to me that 12 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,480 Speaker 1: means the most to me. So thank you for recognizing 13 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:42,880 Speaker 1: that it's gonna be blast. Yeah. Last that we were together, 14 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:46,479 Speaker 1: you shot like one. We did go golfing at a 15 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 1: beautiful place. You surprised everybody because you don't play golf typically. 16 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:54,880 Speaker 1: You're a monstrous man. You make a club look very 17 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 1: small in your hands, although you're undersized clubs too, I 18 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: should say part of it. I think they were bigger 19 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 1: than mine and you make them look small. And then 20 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,279 Speaker 1: we went back to the house. I had to actually 21 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 1: head out of town for another event, and I'm on 22 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,840 Speaker 1: the plane and I'm on this plane, and all of 23 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: a sudden, your name is blowing up everywhere on my 24 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:23,199 Speaker 1: Google alerts, like everywhere. Walk us through what happened after 25 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:26,959 Speaker 1: the golf round that day? And did you expect your 26 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:32,360 Speaker 1: videos with Rachel and Michelle to do what they did? Ben, 27 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 1: You're coming out hot man, I wasn't. I was. I thought, 28 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: we're gonna warm up. We are warm enough. This is easy, 29 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,679 Speaker 1: this is easy stuff. Oh great, I can't even wait 30 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:44,040 Speaker 1: for what's gonna what's to come? Yeah, you know what 31 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 1: I mean. Well, you know, we were there for a 32 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:49,400 Speaker 1: couple of days and just feeling the situation out right. 33 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 1: Day one, when I came out of the airport and 34 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,440 Speaker 1: I first saw Rachel, I was like, do I need 35 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 1: to get ready to duck something a water bottle or 36 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 1: But now she was super sweet and and so we 37 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 1: were all having a good time. And then uh yeah, 38 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:03,960 Speaker 1: when you left, we were all sitting there and we thought, 39 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 1: you know, let's let's just have some fun with this, right, 40 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,160 Speaker 1: Like we've how far we've come, and now we can 41 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:14,120 Speaker 1: sit in a room together and and laugh and understand 42 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 1: one another, and we've made amends and let's just have 43 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 1: some fun with this. So uh, yeah, we as I 44 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 1: don't normally don't do anyways, but um, the ideas came 45 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: up with TikTok. And I'm not the visionary, but I 46 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 1: can usually add on to things here and there. So 47 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:31,920 Speaker 1: we started talking and so this would be fun if we, 48 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,920 Speaker 1: you know, set this up this way, and so we 49 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 1: did and then it popped off and then all of 50 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:39,080 Speaker 1: a sudden, I you know, then I just had to 51 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:42,520 Speaker 1: start answering to some things. And uh but you know again, 52 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,680 Speaker 1: for me, more than anything, it just showed that, um, 53 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: you know, how far we've all come and how we're 54 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 1: able to to look past kind of all the all 55 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: the pain that had presented itself years prior. So, um, 56 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 1: this is a fun moment. But of course people in 57 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: the Internet like to like to gas everything up and 58 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,519 Speaker 1: and just see if there's something more than what they're 59 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 1: is there, and so of course then all these questions 60 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 1: came and followed. I thought it was super fun. I 61 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 1: think it's really cool just to give perspective because I 62 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,040 Speaker 1: talk on this show every week, right, and so it's 63 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: always good for people to hear a different perspective. Two 64 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:18,639 Speaker 1: questions for you. One was just the first time you've 65 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:22,200 Speaker 1: ran into somebody on your season that was in the 66 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: top four other than Susie. And then two, can you 67 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:29,240 Speaker 1: just speak to a little bit because I know that 68 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 1: it's a very real thing, but some people watch the 69 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:34,240 Speaker 1: show and they don't think like real life and the 70 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:39,000 Speaker 1: show ever connect, Like how odd is it being around 71 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: like a Rachel or a Michelle even you know, what 72 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:47,880 Speaker 1: are the nerves? Like what are you feeling walking into 73 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: a room where you know you're gonna be around both 74 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 1: these people maybe for the first time. Yeah, So to 75 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 1: answer your first question, I have not I have not 76 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 1: run across Gabby yet. Uh and then um, then Serene 77 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,160 Speaker 1: would have been the other person. But yes, I've I've 78 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: run across three and a few times because Brandon and 79 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 1: I are very close. Um. And so that was funny 80 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: the dynamic when we uh well first like hung out together. 81 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,240 Speaker 1: He was like, whoa easy on the hug there, And 82 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 1: he'd be like, hey, hey, y'all are getting too close. 83 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 1: So he was, you know, playing that dynamic of you guys, 84 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:22,479 Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep my eye on you guys. But it 85 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,600 Speaker 1: was it was playful and of course like him and 86 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: I are such close friends, and and and Serene and 87 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,719 Speaker 1: I had had a good um, you know, we have 88 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,920 Speaker 1: a good friendship now and I think things ended um 89 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,520 Speaker 1: a lot better with her on the show than like 90 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 1: with the with the final three. So there wasn't much 91 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 1: uh there to have to be baby concern about it 92 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:43,360 Speaker 1: or or have to overcome uh. So yeah, I guess 93 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 1: I've I've I've hung out with now three of the 94 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 1: four final yeah individuals. So um, who knows if olive 95 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,279 Speaker 1: across the pass a Gabby. I know she's super busy. 96 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:56,800 Speaker 1: But to answer the second half of your question, I 97 00:04:56,839 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 1: don't really like the nerves for me and and you 98 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 1: can answer. You could probably attest to this. I feel 99 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: like after you go through so much, you put your 100 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 1: entire life on display for everyone to judge every facet 101 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,200 Speaker 1: of you. They they're gonna look at how you kiss, 102 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 1: They're gonna look at your game, They're gonna look at um, 103 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,720 Speaker 1: you know how if you have empathy or not. They're 104 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,840 Speaker 1: going to judge your career, They're gonna judge what you're 105 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 1: doing after the show. After all this, these constant eyes 106 00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:23,960 Speaker 1: on you, it just kind of starts to become you 107 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 1: just be you, just kind of not I don't know 108 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 1: if hardens the right word, but you're kind of like 109 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 1: battle tested, and so you you just feel that then 110 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:35,600 Speaker 1: whenever you're faced with it with circumstance that maybe normally 111 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 1: would be uncomfortable for most I typically just think, here's 112 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,400 Speaker 1: all the things that you've went through and done um 113 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 1: and a lot of these things now just don't really 114 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,600 Speaker 1: incite fear in me or concern. My biggest thing is 115 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:48,840 Speaker 1: it's when I step into a situation like that, is 116 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,279 Speaker 1: just first off reading the room and making sure, hey, 117 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:55,000 Speaker 1: like do we have that mutual respect? And I want 118 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,360 Speaker 1: to make sure we're all good on this and then 119 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,279 Speaker 1: and then yeah, can we kind of be playful or 120 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 1: is it something that we need to like step aside 121 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,760 Speaker 1: to have a conversation with one another? And so that's 122 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 1: the way I look at it. But I wasn't necessarily 123 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,280 Speaker 1: nervous um when I first bumped into Rachel. You know, 124 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 1: it had been a year and the last time we 125 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:14,040 Speaker 1: talked was at Afar. But more than anything, you just 126 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,160 Speaker 1: want to make sure that person's okay and that and 127 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,360 Speaker 1: that you're cordial and if there's some beef you got 128 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 1: to settle, then it's like, okay, let's go do this 129 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:23,359 Speaker 1: as two mature individuals. Um. So that's the way I 130 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,040 Speaker 1: look at it. And with Michelle as well. I mean, 131 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,200 Speaker 1: the connection we never got to that place that I 132 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,839 Speaker 1: got with maybe someone like Rachel or Gabby or Susie. 133 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,279 Speaker 1: Right like with rachel Or, with Michelle, I was taking 134 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 1: out at number eight, So we never had that that 135 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 1: strong of a connection, and we've always been cordial in 136 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: that front. So um, I try not to overthink it 137 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,640 Speaker 1: these days, which is a big, big statement, but I 138 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,280 Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, you have you run into people 139 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,599 Speaker 1: from your final four and how do you approach that? Yeah, 140 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:53,920 Speaker 1: I have. I think at this point I've everybody but Kayla. 141 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:57,480 Speaker 1: I've seen or Ina the jojo at an airport okay 142 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:01,719 Speaker 1: um and the airports many dude it was and you 143 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 1: for me, I do get nervous. I'm with you where 144 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:08,920 Speaker 1: you're a little more hardened, you're a little more prepared. 145 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,800 Speaker 1: That stuff doesn't affect you. But when I know that 146 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 1: I'm going on a trip, or when i know that 147 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,240 Speaker 1: I'm going to be in the same place as somebody 148 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 1: that was on my season, I do get anxious. And 149 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,080 Speaker 1: I'll tell you why. And it might be my own issue, 150 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 1: but I always had this idea that all these women 151 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,760 Speaker 1: are on a text thread and all these women are 152 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 1: living in the house, and I'm kind of on my 153 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:33,400 Speaker 1: island alone, and You're really only gonna make one person 154 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 1: potentially happy on your season. Everybody else is going to 155 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 1: be mad at you for some reason, and also rightfully 156 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:43,480 Speaker 1: trying to like say whatever they can, you know, to 157 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 1: make themselves feel better about not, you know, the experience 158 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 1: not going the way maybe they thought it would, even 159 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 1: though they all end up very okay over the years. 160 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 1: And so I always walk into these like insecure, feeling 161 00:07:56,680 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 1: like kind of the the the enemy, the outsider, and 162 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,600 Speaker 1: especially when there's more than one of the women on 163 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,400 Speaker 1: my season in the same room at sometime, I just 164 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 1: feel like I'm gonna walk into this room and they're 165 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:10,600 Speaker 1: all like gonna be giggling, like you know, and making 166 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 1: fun of me, and I'm gonna be like, yeah, okay, 167 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,560 Speaker 1: now you know you can, and I'm taking it all in. 168 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,720 Speaker 1: So I do get nervous. Maybe not as much anymore, 169 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,640 Speaker 1: but at the beginning, I remember being very anxious for 170 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 1: these moments and very uncomfortable. I thought you handled it 171 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,800 Speaker 1: really well. I mean I watched it, you know, I've 172 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 1: been able to be around Rachel now a few times 173 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 1: since her season ended and catch up with her on 174 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:36,840 Speaker 1: her personal life and you know the things she's up 175 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,520 Speaker 1: to and her fears and how she's walking through the 176 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:43,959 Speaker 1: process post being a lead. And so I knew the 177 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 1: storyline going into that weekend, like I knew that was 178 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 1: gonna be a thing and kind of be awkward maybe, 179 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,840 Speaker 1: And I thought you just handled it well. I thought 180 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,640 Speaker 1: you rolled with it. The weekend ended up being a 181 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:55,640 Speaker 1: lot of fun. And I think a lot of that 182 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:59,080 Speaker 1: is how you and Michelle and Rachel handled yourselves, like 183 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,200 Speaker 1: you just made it one and you made it funny. 184 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,880 Speaker 1: You can have to laugh at it. Maybe that's a 185 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 1: you know, a piece of advice or anybody going through 186 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,760 Speaker 1: a breakup and you run into that person again is 187 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,840 Speaker 1: maybe if you just can put a smile on your 188 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 1: face and try to have the best time possible, it 189 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 1: makes a lot easier. But yeah, I thought the whole 190 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:20,360 Speaker 1: weekend went well because of the way you three handled yourselves. 191 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 1: You could have gone south. And I will say, yes, 192 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:28,960 Speaker 1: those text threads do exist. I've seen them to some degree, 193 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:33,679 Speaker 1: I've heard of them. But beyond that, though I agree 194 00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 1: with you, I went through the same thing that you 195 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,400 Speaker 1: went through, where I started to a lot of times, yeah, 196 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,600 Speaker 1: project what I thought people were going to how they 197 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 1: would react when they saw me, because I was like, okay, 198 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 1: that they're talking this way about me, so when I 199 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,080 Speaker 1: get into a room with them, they're going to be 200 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:50,199 Speaker 1: thinking these thoughts internally. But what I've found a lot 201 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 1: of times and where I've gotten to today, and I 202 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,839 Speaker 1: went through everything that you just said that you went through. 203 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 1: I went through the exact thing. But I finally told 204 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 1: myself a lot of times I will project, and then 205 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 1: the outcome will never occur that projecting. So I thought, 206 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,200 Speaker 1: if I just go in with an open mind and 207 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 1: with a smile on my face, and I approach it 208 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: and say like, let's just speak like like let me 209 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 1: go in here and really just try to be who 210 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:14,480 Speaker 1: I am authentically, but show that I'm willing to just 211 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: try to make this work out and establish this this 212 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:20,960 Speaker 1: friendship or whatever it may be. I feel like, what 213 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,800 Speaker 1: however you carry yourself is what is going to then 214 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,120 Speaker 1: project and rub off onto that other individuals. So if 215 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 1: I'd have walked in with that first interaction and I 216 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: would have you know, avoided eye contact and just kind 217 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:34,400 Speaker 1: of like gotten the car right away without saying hello 218 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,800 Speaker 1: that entire week it would have been awkward. Right, Like, 219 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,280 Speaker 1: whatever energy you project is probably going to be received, 220 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 1: And so I just thought, hey, I'm just gonna walk 221 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: out with a smile and just be like, hey, how's 222 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,080 Speaker 1: it going, but like in a kind of a humorous 223 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,560 Speaker 1: light way of you know, how how are we? But 224 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:52,560 Speaker 1: you know? Again, I think like that energy reads and 225 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:54,199 Speaker 1: and then I found that when you do that a 226 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 1: lot of times it will put someone's guard down and 227 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 1: they go okay, I mean we both. I also did 228 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,599 Speaker 1: ask ahead of time, does she know I'm coming or 229 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,560 Speaker 1: like she does? I said, okay, well if she hated me, 230 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: then as she knows I'm coming, unless she's gonna just 231 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:11,000 Speaker 1: hurl something at me, we're probably okay because she's aware. 232 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,440 Speaker 1: So I did check. And then from that point forward, 233 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:16,000 Speaker 1: I thought their interaction is going to be whatever you 234 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,120 Speaker 1: make it. So if you decide to be awkward about 235 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,920 Speaker 1: it'll be awkward. If you decide to be rude, it'll 236 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 1: be rude. But if you decide to be kind, caring 237 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 1: and attentive, that's the way it'll take it received. And 238 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:37,520 Speaker 1: it was that's what she gave back to me, Well, 239 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:40,559 Speaker 1: I was really glad that we get to spend h 240 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,720 Speaker 1: that I get to meet you in person. Right, There's 241 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:46,800 Speaker 1: there's a quality about you obviously that's done. Um, that 242 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: there's a quality about you that displays a lot of wisdom. 243 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,080 Speaker 1: I think this is just one, you know, for the 244 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 1: TikTok video that came in up. Fans watch it and 245 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 1: they react and they, like you said, they blow it up. 246 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,160 Speaker 1: They have their which tektok video because I keep having 247 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 1: more come out. Oh the one with the with Rachel 248 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 1: and Michelle, Well, the one that really got popular. Um. 249 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:12,920 Speaker 1: You know, but I always, especially on this show, like 250 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: to go to the behind the scenes and you just 251 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 1: explained it like your mental preparation, how you how you 252 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:22,320 Speaker 1: prepared yourself to meet somebody that you didn't exactly know 253 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,840 Speaker 1: how the response would be. And so there's a lot 254 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,640 Speaker 1: of wisdom. Um, there's a lot of care um for 255 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 1: your mental state, uh and and how you handle yourself. 256 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 1: And it also displays in your newest project. And we're 257 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 1: gonna get to the show and this episode and we're 258 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 1: gonna you know, blab on about what happened on this episode. 259 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,319 Speaker 1: I say, I got a lot a lot to talk 260 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 1: about Man and that show episode and it deals with 261 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 1: with it with the mental aspect side of it too, 262 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:49,640 Speaker 1: the mental health side. So I care, yeah your opinion, Yeah, 263 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:52,160 Speaker 1: well your perspective is going to be great. But before 264 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,839 Speaker 1: we get to that, I do want to take a 265 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,719 Speaker 1: second and highlight, um, a project that you just came 266 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,520 Speaker 1: out with your book. Um, something that we got to 267 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,720 Speaker 1: speak about out on the way to the golf course, 268 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,240 Speaker 1: something that matters and means a lot to you, that 269 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:08,280 Speaker 1: you worked on very hard for a long time. So 270 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,200 Speaker 1: just give your best promo and kind of what people 271 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 1: can expect out of this book before we get to 272 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:17,160 Speaker 1: the opinions of the episode. Yeah, well, I put a 273 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,040 Speaker 1: lot into that book. It took me nine months to write, 274 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:22,400 Speaker 1: so it was my baby basically, right, So, and it 275 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 1: really boils down to a story of how an individual 276 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,960 Speaker 1: can go from self doubt to self belief and how 277 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:34,040 Speaker 1: individuals can harness that hope that if I've went through that, 278 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,960 Speaker 1: then they can as well. So I open up and 279 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,800 Speaker 1: just get very candid and try to destigmatize the conversations 280 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:43,040 Speaker 1: around mental health. And the book is for anybody else 281 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 1: who is struggling with depression. Anxiety, comparison, culture, social media, 282 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:53,440 Speaker 1: cyber bowling. It's if anyone's going through a struggle in 283 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,040 Speaker 1: their life and feels that they're walking down this path 284 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,880 Speaker 1: that's a dark path, and they don't feel like they 285 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,400 Speaker 1: can see the light, then, to me, this is what 286 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:03,360 Speaker 1: that book's about. It's it's meant to show somebody, Hey, 287 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,960 Speaker 1: I'm I was, I'm walking alongside you right now, you're 288 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,439 Speaker 1: not alone in this. Uh. And and as you hear 289 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:12,679 Speaker 1: my story, you may start to see these connections, and 290 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,720 Speaker 1: then you'll be able to start pivoting the way that 291 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:18,400 Speaker 1: you view your own reality, and then we can hopefully 292 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,800 Speaker 1: get you to a place where you start to see 293 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 1: that light off in the distance and you start walking 294 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,800 Speaker 1: toward it. So, um, that's essentially what the book is. 295 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:27,960 Speaker 1: In a nutshell, I've had to get really good at 296 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,680 Speaker 1: trying to nutshell it because it's just so much that 297 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,600 Speaker 1: I'm passionate about that's in the book. But uh, it's 298 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 1: a story of self doubt to self belief and that 299 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,280 Speaker 1: that that path and how to get there. Um and 300 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,360 Speaker 1: and just yeah, that's that's the best way I can 301 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,800 Speaker 1: describe it. What's the name of the book? Where can 302 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,080 Speaker 1: people pick it up and find it. I don't know 303 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 1: A agrees uh, And it's if you go on my Instagram, 304 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,960 Speaker 1: I keep everything funnel there. Click on the link in 305 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:54,040 Speaker 1: my bio and it'll take you to that Amazon link. 306 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 1: It's on Amazon um for purchase. So to close here, 307 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,680 Speaker 1: Why why is this topic important to you? I mean, 308 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:05,200 Speaker 1: it's obviously important for you personally. You saw that this 309 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,880 Speaker 1: was your story. You wanted to work on things and 310 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 1: move through things and grow as a human. But why 311 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 1: do you I mean, why do you care if anybody 312 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:17,280 Speaker 1: else does it? Because I think we're all more alike 313 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 1: than we realized. We all have these insecurities, but I 314 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 1: think where a lot of us struggle as we don't 315 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:27,760 Speaker 1: address them, we just continue to suppress them. And the 316 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 1: more we suppress them, we don't know if anyone else 317 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 1: is going through it because we're not willing to have 318 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 1: the conversations. This will tie into the episode from last 319 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,240 Speaker 1: night because it's I saw a lot of it and 320 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:40,440 Speaker 1: it really hit home with me where I was relating 321 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:43,280 Speaker 1: to a lot of the women relating to Zach as well, 322 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:47,200 Speaker 1: and where these insecurities can start to bubble up and 323 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 1: when you feel that you're not able to talk about 324 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,000 Speaker 1: it because you're afraid of how it might be received. 325 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,440 Speaker 1: Then you end up getting into your own head, you 326 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:58,640 Speaker 1: end up projecting, you end up making these assumptions, and 327 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,680 Speaker 1: you can't be your one hundred percent authentic self and 328 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:05,680 Speaker 1: you either close off or you have an outburst of emotion. 329 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:09,760 Speaker 1: And so that's why I'm having these conversations. I thought 330 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,760 Speaker 1: it was just very timely and and you know, to 331 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 1: watch the episode and to see this happening with a 332 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:18,000 Speaker 1: few within the individuals and the show, and I thought, 333 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,680 Speaker 1: this is not just show related though, this is real 334 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:25,640 Speaker 1: life related. Right. We oftentimes we struggle, but we just 335 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,000 Speaker 1: don't talk about it. And if we did, we'd realize 336 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,560 Speaker 1: that if you open up to the right people, it 337 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,520 Speaker 1: brings you closer together, it doesn't tear you farther apart. 338 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 1: So that's why I'm talking about it because I'm like, hey, guys, 339 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,480 Speaker 1: look look at me. I'm happy and after everything I 340 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 1: went through, and I'm opening up and I continue to do. 341 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 1: So why am I opening up? Because I must be 342 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 1: getting some type of positive response and it's helping me. 343 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 1: So that's if someone sees that, they go, well, maybe 344 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,400 Speaker 1: I can do it too. And everyone that I talked 345 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:51,640 Speaker 1: to you. They do it and they feel a lot 346 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:54,200 Speaker 1: better and they think, why didn't I open up years ago? 347 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,600 Speaker 1: So that's why I'm having this conversation, just to get 348 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 1: more people to feel comfortable with doing it. Yeah, well 349 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:04,480 Speaker 1: for me to you, you know my opinion. Um, we're 350 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,119 Speaker 1: probably close to the same age. How do you twenty 351 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:12,920 Speaker 1: nine three zero? Yeah, some thirty three okay, so we're 352 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 1: not too far apart. But you know, I've I was 353 00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:17,280 Speaker 1: young when I went on the show and have had 354 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:20,320 Speaker 1: you know, six and a half seven years of going 355 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:24,200 Speaker 1: through this process. And um, it's always interesting when you 356 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:27,119 Speaker 1: get to meet a lead. We didn't get to speak 357 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,400 Speaker 1: before your season, but it's always interesting for me when 358 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,879 Speaker 1: when I get to meet the lead post show, because 359 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,920 Speaker 1: things change. No matter if you believe there are going 360 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,359 Speaker 1: to or not right, the criticism happens. That's part of 361 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,400 Speaker 1: what you sign up for. You don't know it at 362 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,159 Speaker 1: the time, but you sign up to be criticized, and 363 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 1: you sign up to be celebrated, and you signed up 364 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,440 Speaker 1: to be critiqued. Then you sign up for all these 365 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,560 Speaker 1: things because people watch the show for entertainment, and after 366 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,840 Speaker 1: a while, you kind of just accept that because it happens, 367 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 1: and it happens to Everybody's happened to me, it's happened 368 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:57,120 Speaker 1: to you, it's happening to zac Um. But it's one 369 00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:59,640 Speaker 1: of the coolest questions that I get to hear somebody ask, 370 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,800 Speaker 1: or maybe I get to ask to a lead Bachelor 371 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,679 Speaker 1: or Bachelor post show, is what do you want to 372 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:08,840 Speaker 1: do with this? Like you have, necessarily, the world's not 373 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,880 Speaker 1: your oyster right. You don't have every opportunity in the world. 374 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,920 Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna hire you to host the coolest, biggest show 375 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,119 Speaker 1: on TV, and most of the time you have to 376 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,960 Speaker 1: kind of figure out your own lane, which we talked 377 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 1: about as well. But the big question is what do 378 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,679 Speaker 1: you want out of all of this or what do 379 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,880 Speaker 1: you want the world to benefit from from you having 380 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 1: this platform? And it's it's incredible. Not everybody does it, 381 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 1: and I didn't do it at first. I kind of 382 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,919 Speaker 1: had to learn the hard way, but it's incredible to 383 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 1: see somebody a year out from their season, spending your 384 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:43,040 Speaker 1: platform in your time to try to benefit not only 385 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:46,879 Speaker 1: yourself but the fans and the people that have followed 386 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,600 Speaker 1: your story and our interest in your story. So that's 387 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:52,280 Speaker 1: kudos to you because the world will be a better 388 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:55,120 Speaker 1: place because of this book and because of having these conversations. 389 00:18:56,240 --> 00:19:08,600 Speaker 1: And I think that's a big deal. I was going 390 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:10,920 Speaker 1: to ask you for me. I feel like I found 391 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,480 Speaker 1: my why. Um, and it's really cool to have gotten 392 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:15,639 Speaker 1: to that point. Did you did you feel like you 393 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,000 Speaker 1: found your why after the show? It? Did it kind 394 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,199 Speaker 1: of push you into figuring out who I am and 395 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,080 Speaker 1: what I want in life? Or were you already did 396 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,720 Speaker 1: you already know that prior to the show? Um? What 397 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 1: what did the show kind of do for you outcome wise? 398 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,199 Speaker 1: When when you came off it? Because I know I 399 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 1: know your backstory. I mean, I I guess I beat 400 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,520 Speaker 1: your record a record. I wasn't trying to be. You 401 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,879 Speaker 1: told two people that you love them, and I decided 402 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,560 Speaker 1: to I decided to go to the extra mile. So, um, 403 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 1: but I I know you're well. I heard you were 404 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:46,120 Speaker 1: well received. But I mean, overall, what did the experience 405 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:47,639 Speaker 1: do you afterwards? I mean, did you have to do 406 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,719 Speaker 1: a deep dive as well and to your identity and 407 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,760 Speaker 1: figure out like what am I going to take from 408 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,600 Speaker 1: this and where do I go from here? It's a 409 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:58,879 Speaker 1: great question. Um. At first, I became very excited about 410 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,199 Speaker 1: the fame, and I didn't realize I was being excited 411 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,760 Speaker 1: about the fame, right, You'd be invited to these red carpets, 412 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,760 Speaker 1: you'd be at these parties, you'd still be on the 413 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,040 Speaker 1: cover of magazines. People will be talking about you. You'd 414 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:13,280 Speaker 1: be getting emails every day and turning down opportunities, and 415 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:18,000 Speaker 1: that slowly, not slowly, that quickly goes away, kind of like, yeah, 416 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 1: it goes quick. But I was still doing cooler stuff 417 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:25,000 Speaker 1: than I'd ever done before. And there was a moment 418 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,000 Speaker 1: in time that it hit me. I was in an 419 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,720 Speaker 1: airport after an event where I met I forget who 420 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,439 Speaker 1: what actor. I think it was Samuel L. Jackson, And 421 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,000 Speaker 1: I called up my family and I was telling him 422 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:37,480 Speaker 1: this and they were like, that's awesome, Like how was he? 423 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,520 Speaker 1: And I was like, wait, that's not the response I 424 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,800 Speaker 1: was expecting. Like I don't know what I was expecting, 425 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,320 Speaker 1: but I was expecting you to think I was super 426 00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:45,159 Speaker 1: cool for being at the same party as Samuel L. 427 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:48,399 Speaker 1: Jackson and like celebrating me because I was at the 428 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,320 Speaker 1: same party and now I've made it, and like they didn't. 429 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 1: And then I called my friends kind of expecting the 430 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 1: same response. And they didn't at all give me the 431 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:59,800 Speaker 1: same response. They never could. They never cared about what 432 00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,639 Speaker 1: I was doing. They just wanted to hang out and 433 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:07,880 Speaker 1: watch football and group, yeah, I do. And I got 434 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,440 Speaker 1: very lonely, and so I called up one of my buddies, 435 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,800 Speaker 1: who's a good counsel to me and a very wise friend, 436 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,199 Speaker 1: and I I was telling him my feelings and my 437 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:20,000 Speaker 1: emotions here and like what I was expressing, and how 438 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,359 Speaker 1: I was getting angry at my family and my friends 439 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,960 Speaker 1: because they weren't celebrating me like I thought they should 440 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,400 Speaker 1: or would. And he goes, Ben, what if this whole 441 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,959 Speaker 1: thing was meant to be for something bigger than yourself? 442 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:32,800 Speaker 1: What if this was never meant to be about you? 443 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:37,560 Speaker 1: And that statement alone changed everything for me. Now, my work, 444 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:42,280 Speaker 1: my passions, and the things I really cared about existed 445 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:46,240 Speaker 1: before the show. But what the show did was it 446 00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:49,320 Speaker 1: handed me a platform that allowed that why to be 447 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:56,399 Speaker 1: kind of catalyzed to a bigger like purpose. And so 448 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,960 Speaker 1: now I had this platform that wasn't about me standing 449 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,879 Speaker 1: relevant and wasn't about me staying famous, and wasn't about 450 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:05,760 Speaker 1: me making headlines. But now that platform allowed me to advocate, 451 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:11,520 Speaker 1: to share, to connect to build community around things that 452 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:15,400 Speaker 1: I already had a purpose in, but I just didn't 453 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:17,040 Speaker 1: feel like I can make the impact, Like I didn't 454 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:20,400 Speaker 1: know what my impact was within those organizations or those 455 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,679 Speaker 1: social causes until really the show and now I have, 456 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 1: you know. Luckily, for me, I don't know where I 457 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,119 Speaker 1: would have been without the show. Luckily, that platform has 458 00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:30,480 Speaker 1: handed me a the ability to have a skill set 459 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,399 Speaker 1: like I can now, you know, with a push of 460 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:35,679 Speaker 1: a button advocate on behappy people. So I think the 461 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:39,000 Speaker 1: show helped me afterwards just feel like I had a 462 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:42,240 Speaker 1: purpose in my why where I don't know. I hope 463 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,560 Speaker 1: I would have found that purpose without the show. I 464 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:46,919 Speaker 1: think I could have. I just don't I don't know 465 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:51,760 Speaker 1: how that journey would have looked. So Yeah, I mean 466 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,199 Speaker 1: the show helped a lot in my why, but it 467 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,359 Speaker 1: helped it was for the most part, it was it 468 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,800 Speaker 1: was a growing process for me, which it sounds like 469 00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,520 Speaker 1: it is for you and you hope it is for 470 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,800 Speaker 1: every person that comes off the show, cast, member, or 471 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:07,119 Speaker 1: lead that the show helps them grow at some level. Yeah, 472 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:11,440 Speaker 1: I think what I've seen in my own as I've 473 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 1: observed individuals as there's two ways you can go about it. 474 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,080 Speaker 1: You can become more egotistical because you can come off 475 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 1: the show and say I was the guy or the 476 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,359 Speaker 1: gal and I'm the big time and everyone's been kissing 477 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:25,239 Speaker 1: my butt and they'll continue to and I'm I'm up 478 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:27,800 Speaker 1: here right. I've seen people just go completely through the 479 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:30,879 Speaker 1: roof with their ego, and then I've seen other individuals 480 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,360 Speaker 1: that have sacrificed to ego more than ever. They they 481 00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:35,840 Speaker 1: see it and they say, this is bigger than me. 482 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:39,119 Speaker 1: You know, this is what I have now, I'm grateful for. 483 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,240 Speaker 1: But I'm going to stay humbled and I'm going to 484 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 1: be able to use this for good however it may go. 485 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,480 Speaker 1: So it's hard, though, I don't blame anybody for getting 486 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,640 Speaker 1: a little egotistical. When everyone's patting you on the back 487 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,840 Speaker 1: and you're getting all these backstage events and everyone's telling 488 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,359 Speaker 1: you how great you are and how you know you're 489 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:57,160 Speaker 1: you're you know what doesn't stink, and everyone's just right 490 00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,360 Speaker 1: there beside you, and so you get pumped up, pump 491 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,399 Speaker 1: up up, pump up. You're used to it, and then 492 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:02,800 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, like you said, it gets pulled 493 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,679 Speaker 1: out from you under you very quickly, and then you 494 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,920 Speaker 1: start to question like, well, am I just not who 495 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,840 Speaker 1: I used to be? Am I not worthy of that 496 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:13,760 Speaker 1: those compliments anymore? In reality was is people were probably 497 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,679 Speaker 1: pushing you up a little bit more than what you know. 498 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,320 Speaker 1: They probably treated you a little bit more in a 499 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,720 Speaker 1: higher regard than like what they maybe should have, because 500 00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,240 Speaker 1: it was all a lot of those individuals who just 501 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:22,640 Speaker 1: around you and maybe want to be in the same 502 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,359 Speaker 1: room as you. But to your point, you know you 503 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,520 Speaker 1: got good friends when the entire time they're just like, 504 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,520 Speaker 1: I don't care, man, let's watch football. I don't want 505 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:30,840 Speaker 1: to want. I don't care about the fact that you 506 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:32,480 Speaker 1: met so and so or that you got this back. 507 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:35,560 Speaker 1: That's cool, buddy, But like you know, let's just talk life. 508 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,120 Speaker 1: But it's hard because you, as the lead, you balance 509 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,600 Speaker 1: that of you know, everyone puts me up here, So 510 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,400 Speaker 1: where do I land? Am I up here? Or am 511 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,119 Speaker 1: I here? Where do I? Where do I fit? And 512 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,680 Speaker 1: what are the expectations of me? Too? And there seems 513 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,439 Speaker 1: like there's so many especially being the lead, it's like 514 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,720 Speaker 1: perfection or nothing. If you're not perfect, good luck. And 515 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,200 Speaker 1: we can jump into that because I know we were 516 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,520 Speaker 1: talking about it. We'll talk about it coming up here, 517 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 1: but I've was you know, I've seen some of the 518 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,520 Speaker 1: things that he's done and people have ripped him to 519 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,280 Speaker 1: shreds for and I'm opinionated on that and I got 520 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:07,760 Speaker 1: something to say about it when we get to that point, 521 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,600 Speaker 1: because I'm like, what do you expect out of someone 522 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,960 Speaker 1: to be perfect for two months? I mean, I'd love 523 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,160 Speaker 1: to see the relationships of everybody that seems to be 524 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,879 Speaker 1: condemning individuals, because I'm like, let's put a camera on 525 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,000 Speaker 1: you for two months and see if if we catch 526 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,680 Speaker 1: you at your lowest moment one time. Chances Sorry, we 527 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:26,840 Speaker 1: got sixty days to do so I'm sure we can. Yeah. Well, 528 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:31,199 Speaker 1: as we've teased, we're going to you can you can 529 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,200 Speaker 1: follow in the almost famous thread right after this episode, 530 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,359 Speaker 1: we're going to break down the Bachelor and the Bachelor headlines. 531 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,040 Speaker 1: It's going to be great, And I'm gonna try to 532 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,720 Speaker 1: play in that episode a little Devil's advocate to you 533 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:45,000 Speaker 1: because i want you to come at the positive perspective 534 00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:48,399 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna push you a little bit so that 535 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,399 Speaker 1: we can really get to understand what it's like to 536 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,560 Speaker 1: be the lead and the good and the bad and 537 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,840 Speaker 1: the uglies and where you can mess up with all that. 538 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,400 Speaker 1: I'm excited to do that with you. I haven't done 539 00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,359 Speaker 1: it with a with a co bachelor in a long time. 540 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,880 Speaker 1: But a final question for you on our little catch 541 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,240 Speaker 1: up here, Clayton, something else I've respected about you that 542 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,000 Speaker 1: I've watched from a distance is something that I can't 543 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 1: claim to have had. I don't have a bad relationship 544 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:16,440 Speaker 1: with Lauren my X from the show. We have a 545 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,960 Speaker 1: good relationship right He's married, two kids, and I'm married, 546 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,359 Speaker 1: and we're living our two separate lengths. But there hasn't 547 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:25,760 Speaker 1: been really a place in time where there's been mutual 548 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:29,680 Speaker 1: public support. We never like really healed. We just kind 549 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,080 Speaker 1: of moved on, which is good and fine for where 550 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:35,640 Speaker 1: we're at now. But you and Susie seemed to support 551 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:39,680 Speaker 1: each other in a humorous way, also in a very 552 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:42,159 Speaker 1: real way, in a way that seems very healthy to me, 553 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,680 Speaker 1: like something I'm learning from from an outsider, and it's 554 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:47,520 Speaker 1: convicting me in a lot of ways that I wish 555 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,760 Speaker 1: I would have maybe done things differently, or at least 556 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:54,440 Speaker 1: tried to do things differently. So if you can, obviously 557 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:56,639 Speaker 1: people care and want to know what is your relationship 558 00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,320 Speaker 1: like with Susie today and also within that if you 559 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,280 Speaker 1: could speak to how you got to the Police of health, um, 560 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,679 Speaker 1: so that you could be like you two are today, 561 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,600 Speaker 1: How in the world did that happen? And was it 562 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:13,480 Speaker 1: intentional and unintentional? Just give us some insight. Yeah, you know, 563 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:17,960 Speaker 1: I think it took a conscious effort and decision to 564 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,919 Speaker 1: decide how are we going to move forward with this? 565 00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,160 Speaker 1: I think when you when you experience a breakup, there's 566 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,719 Speaker 1: so much pain that's involved, right, and usually we're at 567 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:28,560 Speaker 1: the height of our emotions, and that's when we can 568 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,960 Speaker 1: say things we don't mean we can we can go 569 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:35,000 Speaker 1: down this this dark path of attacking because we're hurt, right, Like, 570 00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:38,320 Speaker 1: we feel that a part of us was stripped from 571 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,159 Speaker 1: us when we weren't ready for it to be taken, 572 00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,919 Speaker 1: and so and then we start to think, well, what 573 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:45,919 Speaker 1: did I do wrong? It must have been my fault. Well, 574 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:47,919 Speaker 1: then we'll go from that to well, no, it's not me, 575 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,920 Speaker 1: it's them, they're the problem. And then it doesn't help 576 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:51,840 Speaker 1: that we have friends and family that say they don't 577 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,520 Speaker 1: know what they're looking for, they're missing out on a 578 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,439 Speaker 1: good person, and so then they validate, they validate that 579 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,560 Speaker 1: that belief of it's not my fault, it's their fault. 580 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,879 Speaker 1: And so then you start to think about all the 581 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,960 Speaker 1: things that they did that you didn't like, and you go, yeah, 582 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,800 Speaker 1: they're not worthy, and so then you start to think, well, yeah, 583 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,639 Speaker 1: this is their fault. And I think that's where in 584 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,920 Speaker 1: the past I've had this with relationships where then I 585 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:14,560 Speaker 1: start to point the finger. Somebody asked me why, you know, 586 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,280 Speaker 1: why why did so and so and you not work 587 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:20,160 Speaker 1: out because she had this issue or she did this 588 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,600 Speaker 1: and I couldn't put up with it. But I didn't 589 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,600 Speaker 1: like that. I never when I did that in my 590 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:29,879 Speaker 1: past relationships, I always felt that I harbored this motion, 591 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:32,320 Speaker 1: that I could never let go of it, and it hurts, 592 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:36,160 Speaker 1: and it closed me off to other relationships because I thought, 593 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:37,320 Speaker 1: I don't want to go back to that. I don't 594 00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,080 Speaker 1: want to experience that again. So then I thought, let 595 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:43,440 Speaker 1: me reframe this. How what is it I feel like 596 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:45,840 Speaker 1: I should be able to walk away from a relationship 597 00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:50,560 Speaker 1: and be grateful, because why do we have this negative 598 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,560 Speaker 1: view point on somebody that we spend years of our 599 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 1: life with and all of a a sudden we act like 600 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:56,080 Speaker 1: we hate them and we have nothing but bad things 601 00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:57,480 Speaker 1: to say about them. It's like, what about all the 602 00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,760 Speaker 1: good times you had three years or however many, how 603 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:01,960 Speaker 1: long it was, how about all the good times? You 604 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,800 Speaker 1: stayed with him for a reason. You loved him for 605 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:05,640 Speaker 1: a reason, You fell in love with him for a reason, 606 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,840 Speaker 1: So what are those reasons? And I think for me, 607 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,880 Speaker 1: I started to think about all that with Susie. I 608 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:12,560 Speaker 1: thought why did I fall in love with this woman? 609 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,240 Speaker 1: And I remember I always thought every time I was 610 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:18,440 Speaker 1: around her, she made me want to be a better person, 611 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:20,960 Speaker 1: and so I every time I woke up, I was 612 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,040 Speaker 1: trying to be a better version of myself. And she 613 00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:27,640 Speaker 1: pushed me, and she held me accountable, and she was 614 00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,400 Speaker 1: there and consoled me when I needed it. And there's 615 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:31,920 Speaker 1: so many things. I could sit here for an hour 616 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:33,400 Speaker 1: and say all the things that she did for me, 617 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:37,920 Speaker 1: But I had to reflect upon that every time I 618 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 1: would get emotional and think why did this not work 619 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,320 Speaker 1: out between us? Why couldn't you try harder to make 620 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:47,400 Speaker 1: this work? I had to take a step back and think, 621 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,960 Speaker 1: everything happens for a reason. I believe in that. But 622 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,200 Speaker 1: understand all the things that she did for you, and 623 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,160 Speaker 1: you wouldn't be the person you are today if it 624 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:58,200 Speaker 1: wasn't for her. And so I kept when I had 625 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:01,320 Speaker 1: negative self talk, I kept instantly putting positive self talk in. 626 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,000 Speaker 1: I was like, second I had a negative thought about it, 627 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,240 Speaker 1: I'm like, nope, nope, nope, don't replace that. And I 628 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,480 Speaker 1: kept fighting it until finally I thought, you know what, 629 00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:09,800 Speaker 1: I am a legitimately better person because of her, and 630 00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:11,760 Speaker 1: if I would have never met her, I would not 631 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:14,520 Speaker 1: be half the person I am today. And then I 632 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,800 Speaker 1: thought back to my other relationships previously, and I thought, well, 633 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:20,560 Speaker 1: she taught me, you know, the she taught me manners. This, 634 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:24,280 Speaker 1: this girl taught me the power of chivalry. This this 635 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:27,080 Speaker 1: she taught me the ability to show my emotions and 636 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,040 Speaker 1: open up. And so I thought, you know, there's all 637 00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:31,840 Speaker 1: this positive things that I've I've taken from people in 638 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,560 Speaker 1: my life. I just need to remember those when I 639 00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:38,040 Speaker 1: remember that person, so I have a positive association with them. 640 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:40,600 Speaker 1: And then what I found was all the negativity that 641 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:44,640 Speaker 1: I heart harbored m was just pain. But really I 642 00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:46,360 Speaker 1: let it all go. And so when I think of 643 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,120 Speaker 1: my exes now, I think all the lessons they taught me, 644 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:52,320 Speaker 1: not the pain that they caused me. And that's why 645 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,000 Speaker 1: I can always have a positive outlook on them and 646 00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:57,040 Speaker 1: I can speak highly of them because the first when 647 00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:58,800 Speaker 1: you say Susie, I think of all the things she 648 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:00,960 Speaker 1: did for me, not all the pain she caused me. 649 00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:06,680 Speaker 1: And so that reframe has been critical, and I've been 650 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 1: really grateful to have learned that, because now I mean 651 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:12,080 Speaker 1: I'm her biggest supporter, and I'll be you know, I'll 652 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,440 Speaker 1: be anyone else's bigges supporter that I've crossed paths in 653 00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:17,000 Speaker 1: the past, because I'm like, you helped me now, I 654 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:18,520 Speaker 1: want to be able to help you, and if I 655 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:21,680 Speaker 1: can build you up, I'm here for it. Because that 656 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:26,080 Speaker 1: positivity is contagious and otherwise more angry harbor. It just 657 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,600 Speaker 1: eats at you. And I got tired of that anger 658 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:31,120 Speaker 1: eating at me. It made me a miserable person. How 659 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,640 Speaker 1: in the world do you do that? Then? With the 660 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:38,000 Speaker 1: girl that said on TikTok that she met you one 661 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:40,600 Speaker 1: night on a couch or something, how in the world 662 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:45,200 Speaker 1: do you bring that positive perspective into that situation? You know, 663 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,640 Speaker 1: I guess I should say this in a fantasy land 664 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,280 Speaker 1: there you would love to have there always be a 665 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:53,760 Speaker 1: positive that comes out of every situation, right I'm not 666 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:55,840 Speaker 1: trying to tell people there's I think there's such thing 667 00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:58,200 Speaker 1: as like overdoing it, and there's a there's a term 668 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,920 Speaker 1: I'm just blanking on it when you are overtly positive 669 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:05,360 Speaker 1: and it's like you're just trying to force positivity. I'm 670 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:07,360 Speaker 1: not saying that everyone should just be like, oh, this 671 00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:10,080 Speaker 1: really bad circumstance to happen to me. I need to 672 00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,840 Speaker 1: find the positive. No, we should like sometimes there are 673 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:16,880 Speaker 1: just some unfortunate situations that happened to us, you know. 674 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,480 Speaker 1: I think though, in that it's circumstance. With that girl, 675 00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:24,000 Speaker 1: it taught me a lesson that there that people come 676 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:25,720 Speaker 1: from all different backgrounds and you have to understand that 677 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,600 Speaker 1: everyone you interact with has a different mindset. For me, 678 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:32,600 Speaker 1: it taught me that to practice, you know, forgiveness. She 679 00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:35,280 Speaker 1: taught me the power forgiveness because I thought, you know what, 680 00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:37,960 Speaker 1: this girl is out of line. But she's also young, 681 00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:41,680 Speaker 1: she's immature, and you know, five years from now, she 682 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:43,800 Speaker 1: won't be hopefully the same person. She'll look back and 683 00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 1: be like, yeah, you know, second thought, I probably shouldn't 684 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,920 Speaker 1: have done that. And so for me, that's the lesson 685 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,080 Speaker 1: she taught me was I need to look at people 686 00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:53,400 Speaker 1: and give them grace and understand that you know what, hey, 687 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:57,520 Speaker 1: you did this. It was dumb, whether or not I 688 00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,240 Speaker 1: believe like you actually believe it was me or you 689 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:02,120 Speaker 1: just made it up. One day, you know, I thought 690 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,320 Speaker 1: maybe she possibly made it up for just more more, 691 00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:07,640 Speaker 1: you know, more followers. But one day she'll look back 692 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:09,800 Speaker 1: at that and be like, you know, I wish I 693 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:12,040 Speaker 1: wouldn't have done that, and so and I feel bad 694 00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:14,400 Speaker 1: for it. And so I try to see people as 695 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:16,520 Speaker 1: not just one fixed point in time, but you know, 696 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:19,120 Speaker 1: how this individual can be over the how they can 697 00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:20,520 Speaker 1: grow the same way I did. And I'm like, you know, 698 00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:23,920 Speaker 1: people make mistakes. I should just forgive them for it, 699 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:25,760 Speaker 1: unless they continue to make the same mistake at some 700 00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,480 Speaker 1: point you say, okay, that's just who you are. But 701 00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,800 Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, forgiveness is what that situation taught me. 702 00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:33,240 Speaker 1: Because I was angry. I mean I really want I 703 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,040 Speaker 1: wanted to I wanted to see her to the high heavens, 704 00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,560 Speaker 1: like I was so ready to bury her. But then 705 00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,520 Speaker 1: I had to step back and go Clayton again, your emotion, 706 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:43,880 Speaker 1: you want to bury her? How are you going to 707 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:45,760 Speaker 1: feel about that? If you ruin her? If you ruin 708 00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:48,560 Speaker 1: her and subject her to all that pain and everyone 709 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,680 Speaker 1: comes in her DMS and starts telling her how how 710 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:54,480 Speaker 1: terrible she is. Now you've impacted her her health negatively, 711 00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,120 Speaker 1: and you don't want that. So it helped me. She 712 00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:58,920 Speaker 1: taught me to kind of like step back and let 713 00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:02,160 Speaker 1: my emotions subside and then make a judgment. Call man, 714 00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:03,719 Speaker 1: the last year has been a big year for you. 715 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:06,560 Speaker 1: It's gonna be a good year for so many who 716 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:08,640 Speaker 1: pick up this book and just continue to follow along 717 00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:11,600 Speaker 1: with you. But it's been a big year. Um. It 718 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:15,680 Speaker 1: sounds like from me from my perspective on growth and 719 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:20,520 Speaker 1: understanding and forgiveness and positivity and all these things that, yeah, 720 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,160 Speaker 1: you know, I would think that you look back on 721 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:26,080 Speaker 1: years from now and be like, I'm glad I went 722 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:30,160 Speaker 1: through that season. Even you know there's some unfortunate parts, 723 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:31,759 Speaker 1: but I'm glad I went through that season because I'm 724 00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:34,000 Speaker 1: guessing that your your impact is going to be great 725 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,640 Speaker 1: thousand percent. Yeah. I the person I am today is 726 00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:40,719 Speaker 1: because of everything I went through, so very grateful, um, 727 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:44,399 Speaker 1: and and so much positivity I had so ben I know, 728 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:46,279 Speaker 1: I got I know, I got asked the co host, 729 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,360 Speaker 1: So I really feel like I'm gonna start firing questions 730 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:50,440 Speaker 1: off of you, so we're gonna we're gonna balance this 731 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,440 Speaker 1: thing back out here. I appreciate you checking in on me, 732 00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,640 Speaker 1: but I think, uh, it was that was the final question. 733 00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:57,279 Speaker 1: I think it's time for us to do a little 734 00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:00,520 Speaker 1: deep dive and to talk some bachelors. Man, all right, 735 00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:02,759 Speaker 1: I felt I feel took me. It took me back. 736 00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:04,080 Speaker 1: I kind of, I kind of felt a little. I 737 00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:05,879 Speaker 1: was like, WHOA, this is weird watching the show again. 738 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:08,240 Speaker 1: I don't know how I feel about this. Yeah, we 739 00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:14,200 Speaker 1: are going to balance the act after this episode, which 740 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,919 Speaker 1: ends right now, tune into the next episode to hear 741 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:23,040 Speaker 1: Clayton and I Clayton being positive, me being critical of 742 00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:26,680 Speaker 1: this season of The Bachelor. Follow the Benn and Ashley 743 00:35:26,719 --> 00:35:30,680 Speaker 1: I Almost Famous podcasts on iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you 744 00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:31,719 Speaker 1: listen to podcasts.