WEBVTT - Bonus Episode | Restoring the Way

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<v Speaker 1>Hello.

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<v Speaker 2>This is a prepaid call from an inmate at a

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<v Speaker 2>Florida Department of Corrections institution.

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<v Speaker 3>To accept this call, press zero to refuse this call.

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<v Speaker 3>This call is from a correction facility and is subject

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<v Speaker 3>to monitoring and recording. Thank you for using Global Telling.

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<v Speaker 1>Good morning, Leo, Hey Bud, how are you good.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm sitting here with Kelsey.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh really, hey Kelsey.

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<v Speaker 5>Hey Leo. It's so nice to hear your voice.

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<v Speaker 1>It's nice to hear you too. I ask about you

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<v Speaker 1>all the time.

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<v Speaker 5>I know, I get the messages. I mean, I ask

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<v Speaker 5>about you all the time too.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. How are you?

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<v Speaker 5>I'm good? How are you? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Doing really well?

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<v Speaker 4>Hey everyone, it's been a while since our last episode.

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<v Speaker 4>Leo has been transferred to Everglade's Correctional Institution down in Miami,

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<v Speaker 4>where he's been preparing for parole through what's called the

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<v Speaker 4>Corrections Transition Program or CTP for short. Currently, he's one

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<v Speaker 4>of seventy nine men who are preparing for life on

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<v Speaker 4>the outside after spending decades in prison. Leo has spent

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<v Speaker 4>the past seven months attending classes and workshops on resocialization skills,

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<v Speaker 4>job interviews, and self esteem with help from program alumni.

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<v Speaker 4>And students at Florida International University. He's even been teaching

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<v Speaker 4>a few classes himself. I've been keeping up with Leo

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<v Speaker 4>through weekly phone calls and emails. I even had dinner

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<v Speaker 4>with him over the summer. At an end of semester banquet,

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<v Speaker 4>Leo and I sat at a long table in the

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<v Speaker 4>CTP cafeteria with Chrissy, former Judge Scott Kupp, and Senator

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<v Speaker 4>Jonathan Martin, along with some of the other guys in

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<v Speaker 4>the program and their families. Leo's classes just ended for

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<v Speaker 4>this semester. He has some free time now and we

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<v Speaker 4>wanted him to give an update on how he's been doing. Hey,

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<v Speaker 4>we want to ask you a couple of questions because

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<v Speaker 4>you know, the last that the listeners had heard from

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<v Speaker 4>you was was right after the parole hearing back in May,

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<v Speaker 4>and uh so we just wanted to, you know, ask

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<v Speaker 4>a few questions about what it was like when you

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<v Speaker 4>just left Hardy and made the transition down to Everglades.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, oh my god, Well for me, you know, I

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<v Speaker 1>was I was at Haughty for so long and created

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<v Speaker 1>a family, and of course my best friend Kevin's there,

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<v Speaker 1>so you know that that made all the difference in

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<v Speaker 1>the world as well, and we were there for a

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<v Speaker 1>long time. But leaving that was really really difficult, and

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<v Speaker 1>I had a lot of responsibilities there. I was involved

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<v Speaker 1>in a lot of things that, you know, it was

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<v Speaker 1>part of the functioning of that particular institution, and then

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<v Speaker 1>coming here, I was essentially nobody and I lost those roles,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's kind of a fish out of water. Even

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<v Speaker 1>though I knew this was a good move. I knew

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<v Speaker 1>it was the right move at the time for me,

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<v Speaker 1>for my bid for home, it was still really really tough.

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<v Speaker 1>And then I missed my friends horribly. To be honest

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<v Speaker 1>with you, I still miss them all right now. And

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes I get lonely form and you know, I'll tell

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<v Speaker 1>myself maybe I can go back, and you know that

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<v Speaker 1>there's still going back.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, what was that journey? Like, Leo, Like, I'm just

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<v Speaker 6>imagining you get on a bus and off you go.

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<v Speaker 1>What is it like? Yeah, you know when when the

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<v Speaker 1>bus rides a notorious so back in the eighties and

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I hate that I can say that, but

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<v Speaker 1>way back in the eighties, they had these buses and

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<v Speaker 1>they were old and they were rickety, and I mean

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<v Speaker 1>it's essentially like a school bus would steal over the

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<v Speaker 1>windows and stuff. It's hot, and it's it's a miserable ride. Uh,

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<v Speaker 1>this last trip, and I hadn't been on one in

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<v Speaker 1>you know, quite a few years, almost a decade and

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<v Speaker 1>a half. But they've they've since then got new ones

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<v Speaker 1>and so the new ones were much better. They were

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<v Speaker 1>cleaner and not so dark on the inside. But you're

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<v Speaker 1>still hand up and they're still shackled, and you take

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<v Speaker 1>a ride and you don't come straight from one place

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<v Speaker 1>to another. That would make it kind of okay. When

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<v Speaker 1>you come in here from Hardy, you're going to leave

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<v Speaker 1>Hardy and go to Central Florida Reception Center and you'll

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<v Speaker 1>stay there until you get on the bus that's leaving

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<v Speaker 1>from Central Florida to come to South Florida Reception Center.

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<v Speaker 1>And then you go through that. And every time you

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<v Speaker 1>go through one of those places, you got to check

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<v Speaker 1>your property in, you gotta go through the script search

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<v Speaker 1>and all that stuff. You know, it's just part of

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<v Speaker 1>the the journey and it's very tiring.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, did you did you drive through Polk County?

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<v Speaker 1>We did. We did have to go through Pope County

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<v Speaker 1>that you got to go through the able to get

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<v Speaker 1>to Orlando, and there were some places that I did recognize.

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<v Speaker 1>The it looks so different out there. I mean, even

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<v Speaker 1>the names of stores. There was one name of a

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<v Speaker 1>comedian store. I don't even remember what it is now.

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<v Speaker 1>I just I didn't even know that was a word,

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<v Speaker 1>but apparently that's a that's the thing. And then the

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<v Speaker 1>way people dress, you know, I'm like, you know, I

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<v Speaker 1>know it's hot, but you know, you should try to

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<v Speaker 1>put some clothes on, you know. But it was it

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<v Speaker 1>was just very very strange for me.

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<v Speaker 5>It was.

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<v Speaker 1>And that had been the first time I've been outside

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<v Speaker 1>of of you know, Haughty in sixteen years, and a

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<v Speaker 1>lot had changed. Yeah, yeah, it was a lot.

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<v Speaker 6>What is it like when you get down to a CTP.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I wish you could see it. You got

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<v Speaker 1>to understand, in prison, the doms are painted in stark

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<v Speaker 1>colors for a reason, and they're very bland, and you

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<v Speaker 1>know that's the way that they are everywhere here. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>if you can just envision it, the main color here

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<v Speaker 1>is purple colored Seaton fear purple and yellow, really bright

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<v Speaker 1>and vibrant. So you come in it's like, you know

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<v Speaker 1>it's different. You immediately know it's different. It took a

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<v Speaker 1>little getting used to. I mean, purple is not a

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<v Speaker 1>color I associate with prison. It is royal purple. It's

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<v Speaker 1>very very purple. I wish you could see it.

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<v Speaker 5>I know I wish I could see it too. I

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<v Speaker 5>Gilbert mentioned to me that there's a place there that

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<v Speaker 5>maybe it's like a room where there's photos of men

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<v Speaker 5>who have gone through the program.

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<v Speaker 1>It's called the Learning Center. I think I told Gilbert

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<v Speaker 1>this before, aside from the war room over at Haughty

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<v Speaker 1>and I think it's the most profound room I've ever

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<v Speaker 1>been in the prison. And the room is yellow and

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<v Speaker 1>purple like the dawn. There's a lot of symbolism around.

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<v Speaker 1>And you look around, so at the top of the

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<v Speaker 1>wall right with the wall and ceiling meat all the

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<v Speaker 1>way around from one one end of the room all

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<v Speaker 1>the way around to the other on three walls. These

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<v Speaker 1>posters that were handmade from each class. But the year

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<v Speaker 1>of the class that exists, like I'm in twenty seven,

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<v Speaker 1>and the CTP is as if it's for twenty seven years,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm in the number twenty seven class. It's called

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<v Speaker 1>Restoring Away. That's the overall name of the class at

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<v Speaker 1>twenty seven and there's a representation poster for each class

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<v Speaker 1>all the way around, and when you get from like

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<v Speaker 1>one to sixteen, all the names are in yellow and

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<v Speaker 1>there's a one hundred percent sticker on all those posters.

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<v Speaker 1>And what that means is that everybody in that class

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<v Speaker 1>has pearled. And so you got to get you've got

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<v Speaker 1>to get to like sixteen before if you start seeing

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<v Speaker 1>they're not all in yellow anymore, they're sporadic throughout. And

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<v Speaker 1>get to my class and there's now a couple of

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<v Speaker 1>people from my class that have prolled recently be colored

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<v Speaker 1>in and so that it just shows you and that,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, you see them one hundred percent stickers, a

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<v Speaker 1>little ribbon on them, and you realize that everybody in

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<v Speaker 1>that class parole. That's that's pretty amazing. And then on

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<v Speaker 1>the back wall you have all this giant bulletin board

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<v Speaker 1>with all these photos of of inmates that have gotten out,

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<v Speaker 1>people that are out in the street, and the street

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<v Speaker 1>clothes and in fact our pictures on there. Gilbert, there's

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<v Speaker 1>a picture of us with Senator Martin that's right in

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<v Speaker 1>the middle of the bulleting board. And then on the

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<v Speaker 1>front wall is the most important part because on the

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<v Speaker 1>front wall, there is a giant blown up official paper.

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<v Speaker 1>It's the form that you get from the Parole Commission

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<v Speaker 1>that it's a termination of prole form. It's you know,

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<v Speaker 1>it would be eight and half by eleven piece of paper,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's blown up on poster size. And underneath that

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<v Speaker 1>is and it's called the Hall of Fame Hall of Fame.

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<v Speaker 1>And underneath that are all these little yellow stickers with

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<v Speaker 1>names on it of the hundred or so people that

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<v Speaker 1>have been terminated from parole. That's the goal, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>to finally they're not just parole now they've been terminated

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<v Speaker 1>from parole. They're no longer on parole. They successfully made

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<v Speaker 1>it through the program and through the parole and made

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<v Speaker 1>it off. And that's where I want my name to be.

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<v Speaker 6>Hey, Leo, can you talk a little bit about the

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<v Speaker 6>program and what your days are like there at Everglades.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well, thankfully we're in a break right now. We're

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<v Speaker 1>in between semesters because I took thirteen classes last semester

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<v Speaker 1>and that was an idiotic move in my books. We

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<v Speaker 1>have to take five, yeah, because I facilitated three of them.

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<v Speaker 1>One of them I do twice a week, So literally

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<v Speaker 1>four classes a week I'm facilitating plus the thirteen that

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<v Speaker 1>I'm already doing, and I'm running the Messianic community here

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<v Speaker 1>again as well. So I got a lot on the

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<v Speaker 1>plate and taking them thirteen classes was a pair cycle

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<v Speaker 1>of addiction. That was one of the mandatory classes. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>we all need work in that area. You know, there's

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<v Speaker 1>various types of addictions, not just drugs, and so we

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<v Speaker 1>learn through a curriculum how to deal with certain addictions,

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<v Speaker 1>how to overcome those, and you know, those classes extremely important.

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<v Speaker 1>There's also parole planning, which is also mandatory every semester

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<v Speaker 1>because we're always That was a very important class for me.

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<v Speaker 1>The parole planning class was important, and I'm so glad

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<v Speaker 1>I was here because there are so many things aspects

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<v Speaker 1>of parole that I just didn't even know. I just

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<v Speaker 1>took for granted. You parole, you go out, you obay

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<v Speaker 1>the law, and you you live peaceably in the land

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<v Speaker 1>you find and for the most part, that's okay. But

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<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of responsibility that you that we have to,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, be concerned with being out on parole that

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't even know. One of them is I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>realize that we don't have freedom of speech. I'm still

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<v Speaker 1>under the conviction and so I don't have freedom of speed.

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<v Speaker 1>You can't say just anything you want. There's a perfect

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<v Speaker 1>example of a guy that he get out on parole.

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<v Speaker 1>He was out, he was working in a job, and

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<v Speaker 1>you know, there's some somebody was precious against him being

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<v Speaker 1>in a former convict, and they went out and kept

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<v Speaker 1>his car, and you know, that was pretty hard and

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<v Speaker 1>he got really upset about it. I mean, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>and in a fit of his anger, he had said,

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<v Speaker 1>if I find out who did this, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>kill you. Well guess what he got. He got violated

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<v Speaker 1>for that, and he's been in prison over twenty years

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<v Speaker 1>over it. You know, you can't just go out and

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<v Speaker 1>say what you want to say human if you're angry,

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<v Speaker 1>you've got to be careful. You got to be careful

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<v Speaker 1>of those things. There's a lot of things that you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I needed to learn. And Monday Night where the FIU

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<v Speaker 1>students come in to share with us. As part of

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<v Speaker 1>their curriculum, they have to come in on Monday nights

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<v Speaker 1>to one of them will give a presentation on some

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<v Speaker 1>element of you know, being out in the free world,

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<v Speaker 1>such as maybe like the use of a cell phone.

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<v Speaker 1>Let me think about you. Guys use a cell phone

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<v Speaker 1>all the time. I've never ever been on a cell phone.

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<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't even know that. I mean, it looks like

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<v Speaker 1>a little square thing to me, and I wouldn't know

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<v Speaker 1>how your answered. Whereas the speaker, how do you hear it?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, none of that stuff. That's a really big

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<v Speaker 1>deal for us in here. Some of these guys have

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<v Speaker 1>been in longer than I have. Forty fifty years and

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<v Speaker 1>they're sixty seventy years old, and so you know, those

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<v Speaker 1>are important elements of learning. So the classes may be great,

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<v Speaker 1>and they are, and they teach you a lot of

0:12:53.080 --> 0:12:55.360
<v Speaker 1>good information. But the FIU students come in and they

0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:57.240
<v Speaker 1>show us how to live it, and they live with

0:12:57.480 --> 0:13:02.360
<v Speaker 1>us in it, and they're absolutely And then on Tuesday night,

0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:02.760
<v Speaker 1>you have.

0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:06.360
<v Speaker 3>You have one minute remaining.

0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:08.679
<v Speaker 6>LEO, would it would it be possible? You said you

0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:10.360
<v Speaker 6>had to wait a half hour before you call back,

0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:11.959
<v Speaker 6>would you be Would you be able to do that today?

0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:15.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? I should be able to call it eleven. Hopefully

0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:17.600
<v Speaker 1>we can get another one in. Yeah. They usually call

0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:21.240
<v Speaker 1>call count around eleven, twenty eleven, thirty somewhere on there.

0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:24.280
<v Speaker 6>Okay, okay, yeah, but we would love to talk to

0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:25.679
<v Speaker 6>you if you can, if you can swing it.

0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:28.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't get a chance to talk

0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:31.439
<v Speaker 1>to you. I elsie all the time, so I take

0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:32.000
<v Speaker 1>advantage of it.

0:14:09.400 --> 0:14:12.760
<v Speaker 2>Hello, this is a prepaid call from an inmate at

0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:14.880
<v Speaker 2>a Florida Department of Corrections.

0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:18.600
<v Speaker 3>Institutions to accept this call press zero.

0:14:19.560 --> 0:14:22.160
<v Speaker 4>Hey, thanks for calling us back, Leo Gil.

0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:24.720
<v Speaker 1>But well, the one thing I couldn't count for was

0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:26.720
<v Speaker 1>people being on the phone when I came to get it.

0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:30.760
<v Speaker 1>So we're probably going to get cut off with COUNT,

0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:33.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, But I want the phone, hope, and I

0:14:33.240 --> 0:14:34.640
<v Speaker 1>want to let you know that, you know.

0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:38.280
<v Speaker 6>Oh no, that's fine. We totally we totally understand. It's

0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:38.760
<v Speaker 6>no problem.

0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:42.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, So here I am. We can go to

0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:46.120
<v Speaker 1>they call COUNT anyway about a minute or so.

0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:54.640
<v Speaker 5>Okay, well, let's okay. One of the questions I wanted

0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:58.280
<v Speaker 5>to ask you is I know it Hardy. By the

0:14:58.320 --> 0:15:02.280
<v Speaker 5>time you left, your claim of innocence was like very

0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:05.800
<v Speaker 5>well known and accepted by a lot of people there,

0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:09.320
<v Speaker 5>And I'm wondering if you could talk a little bit

0:15:09.360 --> 0:15:16.160
<v Speaker 5>about what that's been like at CTP at Everglades. How

0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:17.840
<v Speaker 5>has that been received.

0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:23.680
<v Speaker 1>You know, that's an interesting question. CTP is not full

0:15:23.680 --> 0:15:27.320
<v Speaker 1>of guys who are in here innocently. You know that

0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:32.120
<v Speaker 1>A big factor, a big element of CPP is taking

0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:36.080
<v Speaker 1>responsibility for your wronggoing and being accountable for it. That

0:15:36.200 --> 0:15:40.640
<v Speaker 1>is a huge, huge thing, and rightly so so when

0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:43.000
<v Speaker 1>I first got here, my very first week here, when

0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:46.280
<v Speaker 1>I was going through the orientation process, the orientating inmate

0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:49.240
<v Speaker 1>that was talking to me about that, he didn't know

0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:53.000
<v Speaker 1>me from Adam, and you know, he was taking me

0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:57.960
<v Speaker 1>through the orientation process and he, you know, made a

0:15:57.960 --> 0:16:00.800
<v Speaker 1>big thing about that part of it, about being accountable,

0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:03.600
<v Speaker 1>about you know, being able to admit your guilt and

0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:06.840
<v Speaker 1>being able to talk about it openly, especially you know,

0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:10.320
<v Speaker 1>during any time your questions and things like that. They

0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:13.320
<v Speaker 1>want to know you're being accountable. And like I said,

0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:17.160
<v Speaker 1>that's that's the right thing. My problem was I can't

0:16:17.160 --> 0:16:19.760
<v Speaker 1>be accountable for a crime I didn't commit, and so

0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:24.240
<v Speaker 1>I began explaining that to you know, this individual, and

0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:26.520
<v Speaker 1>he was a little bit you know, you know, that's

0:16:26.520 --> 0:16:29.440
<v Speaker 1>not going to work really well, you know, And it

0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:32.360
<v Speaker 1>was interesting because coming from an inmate is different. You know,

0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:35.320
<v Speaker 1>I expect Free world people to be a little skeptical.

0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:38.400
<v Speaker 1>You know, it makes it makes kind of know better.

0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:40.280
<v Speaker 1>You know, we don't we don't just say those kinds

0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:42.720
<v Speaker 1>of things. And so when he was giving me a

0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:45.680
<v Speaker 1>little bit of a resistance to that, it was, it

0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:50.600
<v Speaker 1>was it was difficult because he's wanting to get me

0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:54.040
<v Speaker 1>in the place where I'm being accountable, which he's supposed

0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:57.560
<v Speaker 1>to do, and I just can't do it. And so

0:16:57.800 --> 0:17:00.080
<v Speaker 1>it was a struggle for me in the beginning, you know.

0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:04.760
<v Speaker 1>And you know, we talked about it, and eventually Senior

0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:09.240
<v Speaker 1>counselor got involved in it CPP and he knew me

0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:13.399
<v Speaker 1>from haughty and explained to him, you know, who I

0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:15.280
<v Speaker 1>was and where I was coming from, and so it

0:17:15.359 --> 0:17:17.200
<v Speaker 1>got it got a little better after that, but there

0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:19.520
<v Speaker 1>was a couple of weeks in the beginning where it

0:17:19.560 --> 0:17:21.760
<v Speaker 1>was a struggle. And you know, when I do get

0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:25.480
<v Speaker 1>the opportunity to speak and and uh and talk as

0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:29.160
<v Speaker 1>we do make presentations with each other, you know, it's

0:17:29.200 --> 0:17:31.879
<v Speaker 1>a little it's a little different for me because everybody

0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:33.919
<v Speaker 1>here is able to stand up and say, you know,

0:17:34.080 --> 0:17:36.720
<v Speaker 1>how sorry they are, and they pray for their victims

0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:39.679
<v Speaker 1>and they you know, they say all these you know,

0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:43.000
<v Speaker 1>things that show them being accountable, and you know, I'm

0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:44.960
<v Speaker 1>proud of them for doing it, but I don't know.

0:17:45.119 --> 0:17:46.840
<v Speaker 1>I don't have the ability to do that. You know,

0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:50.480
<v Speaker 1>of course I pray from Michelle's family and Michelle and

0:17:50.480 --> 0:17:53.439
<v Speaker 1>all that, but I can't stand up and give an

0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:56.760
<v Speaker 1>account of, you know, a crime I didn't commit, And

0:17:56.840 --> 0:18:00.480
<v Speaker 1>so it puts me at a different place and one

0:18:00.480 --> 0:18:03.439
<v Speaker 1>that I am not always comfortable with. And I'm not

0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:06.080
<v Speaker 1>saying I wish I was guilty, but you know, being

0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:10.080
<v Speaker 1>in a program that is designed to bring accountability and

0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:15.520
<v Speaker 1>not being guilty of the crime, it's difficult. Now. Having

0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:18.560
<v Speaker 1>said that, I will say that what CTP has helped me,

0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:22.199
<v Speaker 1>what my brothers have helped me with here that was

0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:24.719
<v Speaker 1>different than any place else before, is that I've been

0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:29.159
<v Speaker 1>able to take a really strong moral inventory of my

0:18:29.240 --> 0:18:32.240
<v Speaker 1>own life and the reason why I'm here. And I'm

0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:36.440
<v Speaker 1>very careful about how I word this, because I'm not guilty.

0:18:37.680 --> 0:18:40.920
<v Speaker 1>Having said that, my life before this crime had taken

0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:44.840
<v Speaker 1>place was pretty rocky because of my personality issues and

0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:49.159
<v Speaker 1>growing up and just the attitude that I had, and

0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:54.320
<v Speaker 1>that played as much a part in allowing people like

0:18:54.400 --> 0:18:57.640
<v Speaker 1>on the jury to believe that I was guilty as

0:18:57.720 --> 0:19:00.359
<v Speaker 1>anything else, and so I had to take out for

0:19:00.600 --> 0:19:03.000
<v Speaker 1>my own actions and that was really hard for me.

0:19:03.040 --> 0:19:05.960
<v Speaker 1>It was it because I've been on the defense for

0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:09.119
<v Speaker 1>my life with this case from the very beginning, and

0:19:09.480 --> 0:19:11.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, you don't get to take morel inventories while

0:19:11.760 --> 0:19:15.400
<v Speaker 1>you're defending yourself against the crimean commit. And when you're

0:19:15.400 --> 0:19:17.600
<v Speaker 1>doing that for so many years and you're claiming your

0:19:17.640 --> 0:19:20.639
<v Speaker 1>innocence for so many years, you kind of get in

0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:23.840
<v Speaker 1>this victim role. And here I was able to get

0:19:23.880 --> 0:19:26.680
<v Speaker 1>outside of that for a minute and look and see

0:19:26.720 --> 0:19:29.679
<v Speaker 1>my own responsibility in it. And that has allowed me

0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:33.320
<v Speaker 1>really to not be so angry with Jerry Hill and

0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:37.119
<v Speaker 1>people who have accused me of something that I didn't do,

0:19:38.000 --> 0:19:40.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, to be able to see their perspective in it.

0:19:40.680 --> 0:19:43.439
<v Speaker 1>Let me tell you something that's that's really difficult. That

0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:46.040
<v Speaker 1>is extremely difficult. And it was hard for me because

0:19:46.760 --> 0:19:48.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to be a bad person. I don't

0:19:48.720 --> 0:19:50.560
<v Speaker 1>think I was a bad person. I just think I

0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:52.600
<v Speaker 1>was an immature person and I didn't really have the

0:19:52.680 --> 0:19:55.440
<v Speaker 1>chance to grow up and become who I would be

0:19:56.240 --> 0:19:59.800
<v Speaker 1>until I got here. And so yeah, that part was

0:19:59.800 --> 0:20:03.399
<v Speaker 1>har Kelsey. It was. It was really difficult and still

0:20:03.480 --> 0:20:06.639
<v Speaker 1>is a little bit now, you know, seventy eight months

0:20:06.640 --> 0:20:08.199
<v Speaker 1>in it, and you know, these guys have known me

0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:11.240
<v Speaker 1>really really well. They've they've they've gotten close to me,

0:20:11.359 --> 0:20:14.200
<v Speaker 1>like they did it haughty, and you know, we've worked

0:20:14.200 --> 0:20:16.720
<v Speaker 1>together and they've accepted that. You know, this guy's the

0:20:16.760 --> 0:20:19.680
<v Speaker 1>real deal. He really didn't do it. And but yeah,

0:20:19.960 --> 0:20:22.639
<v Speaker 1>to directly answer your question, it was difficult. It was

0:20:22.680 --> 0:20:25.960
<v Speaker 1>a difficult transition, and I think I'm full circle with

0:20:26.040 --> 0:20:32.000
<v Speaker 1>that now. Yeah. But hey, listen, they just called County,

0:20:32.480 --> 0:20:34.760
<v Speaker 1>so well, listen, guys, thank you so much.

0:20:34.960 --> 0:20:37.560
<v Speaker 6>Thanks for thanks for calling le I really appreciate and

0:20:37.880 --> 0:20:38.680
<v Speaker 6>we'll talk to you soon.

0:20:39.920 --> 0:20:40.560
<v Speaker 3>Take care of it.

0:20:40.720 --> 0:20:44.160
<v Speaker 2>Bye, Thank you for using global cool.

0:20:45.280 --> 0:20:45.920
<v Speaker 1>I got that off.

0:20:45.920 --> 0:20:49.040
<v Speaker 5>I should left it. I think we got it the

0:20:49.080 --> 0:21:04.760
<v Speaker 5>first time. Probably, Yeah, thing think