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Speaker 1: Let's just get started, man, Okay, do you want to

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Speaker 1: do like a little intro because I'm feeling kind of

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Speaker 1: like hot underneath the collar if I had a collar.

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Speaker 1: I have something to I want.

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Speaker 2: To talk about. Yes, we could just get right into it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So Brandon Ambition fam. We're recording a few days

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Speaker 1: earlier this time because I'm going on vacation. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I can't wait. You know how they say there's studies

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Speaker 1: at show that you're never happier about vacation than the

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Speaker 1: week before you go on vacation.

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Speaker 2: Even more so than when you're actually on vacation.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and then yeah, so I feel like I'm a

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Speaker 1: peak excitedness right now. So forgive us if we miss

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Speaker 1: a few days worth of news. We'll get to that

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Speaker 1: next week. I have to start things off by talking

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Speaker 1: about Leanne lah Beauty. Do you know LeAnn Lahavas? No,

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Speaker 1: have you talked about her before? So she is this

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Speaker 1: British like beautiful singer, singer songwriter. She's like, it's hard

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Speaker 1: to describe her music. It's kind of like a mix

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Speaker 1: of R and B soul folk. She's kind of like

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Speaker 1: a Corinne Bailey, ray Born Hill vibe. She's amazing. Okay,

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Speaker 1: she's kind of She's not huge huge, but she's big ish.

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Speaker 1: I'll say, I've been to two of her shows. I

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Speaker 1: went to her show in September. She performed in New

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Speaker 1: York and we just went and actually spent a pretty

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Speaker 1: penny getting good seats for her show that she did

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Speaker 1: earlier this month at the at A venue also downtown Manhattan. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: I love her music, like everyone loves her and like

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Speaker 1: there was nothing it was probably the crowd like seventy

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Speaker 1: five percent, just like black women at her shows like

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Speaker 1: Women Lovely and anyway, all that aside, she went on

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Speaker 1: a Twitter raid today. So the brit Awards for this

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Speaker 1: weekend or this week yesterday or the day before or

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Speaker 1: something like that, right, the briton words, that's like the

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Speaker 1: Grammys of Britain.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I saw so you know how.

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Speaker 1: They had the hashtag Oscar so white. Yes, they had

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Speaker 1: the hashtag going BRIT's so white because I think someone

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Speaker 1: wrote that. Like anyway, the vast majority of nominees were white,

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Speaker 1: and then of course the winners were white. Okay, Leanne

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Speaker 1: who I think she was nominated? She was definitely there.

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Speaker 1: I mean, she's British totally makes sense. She is she

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Speaker 1: white black? Ok Yeah, I should have said that. So

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Speaker 1: she's mixed. She's biracial, half Jamaican, half Greek.

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Speaker 2: Okay, she's wow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she has like big beautiful natural hair. She I mean,

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Speaker 1: you could just I have to before I tell you

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Speaker 1: why I'm so everyone's so upset at Leanne right now.

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Speaker 1: I have to talk about like when women of color

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Speaker 1: talk about Leanne, they feel like that sense of ownership

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Speaker 1: in her because she rocks the natural hair. She's a

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Speaker 1: beautiful black woman. She feels like, you know how, we

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Speaker 1: get really attached and we're like, oh, she's ours, She's

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Speaker 1: for us, like you know how, kind of like Beyonce,

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Speaker 1: but like on a smaller scale. So she came out

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Speaker 1: on Twitter, don't know why, denouncing the britso white hashtag.

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Speaker 1: And it wasn't just the fact that she was saying

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Speaker 1: that the hashtag. She called it horrible and she called

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Speaker 1: it racist. She said that she wanted to be removed

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Speaker 1: from any reference to it, and she deleted all these tweets.

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Speaker 1: So thank you blavity dot com for curating all these

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Speaker 1: people who took screenshots. You know, people aren't to let

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Speaker 1: anyone get away with anything. You know, there's always a start.

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Speaker 1: You cannot use Twitter. I think you can delete stuff

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Speaker 1: and it's just number just gonna.

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Speaker 3: Go away unless twenty sixteen, unless you're like Edward Snowden,

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Speaker 3: but even then, So anyway, she's like going back and

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Speaker 3: forth tweeting at people, just random people, talking about how she.

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Speaker 1: Doesn't think that we should be using it as very offensive,

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Speaker 1: saying every like like like Stacy Dash level stuff like

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Speaker 1: oh well, if there was a hashtag Brits so black,

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Speaker 1: there'd be outraged, So why isn't the other way around?

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Speaker 1: And then she caps everything off with one single tweet,

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Speaker 1: one single hashtag, all Lives Matter.

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Speaker 2: Oh gosh, what where you making? Father? You don't understand.

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Speaker 1: I just read this. I was busy all day. I

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Speaker 1: didn't see I didn't notice this happening. I didn't feel

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Speaker 1: the ripple in the matrix when this happened on Twitter.

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Speaker 1: But I was just reading in a minute agoing, oh man,

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Speaker 1: why And then she deleted everything, and all that slept

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Speaker 1: is like a tweet saying she's going to go visit

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Speaker 1: her grandma right now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I bet you are.

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Speaker 1: Your Grandma's who you go to when you know you

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Speaker 1: did wrong and he wants someone to love you anyway.

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Speaker 2: An right, Hey, Grand's like it's okay baby.

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Speaker 1: Ah, it's just really disappointing, and people are Blavity has

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Speaker 1: a hilarious story.

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Speaker 2: Oh I want to read what's her name again?

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Speaker 1: Leanne Leanne l I A N N E. Okay, her

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Speaker 1: music is is good. I'm not gonna do you know

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Speaker 1: what anyway, So the Blavity story, the Blavity story is

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Speaker 1: called seventeen Hilari reactions to Leanne Lahavas becoming a problematic

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Speaker 1: fave because she was everyone's fave. She was like the

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Speaker 1: prom queen.

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Speaker 2: You know, ah damn.

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Speaker 1: And it's not even like the Beyonce level, where I

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Speaker 1: feel like Beyonce was so huge that everyone was waiting

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Speaker 1: and like they were really expecting Beyonce to speak out,

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Speaker 1: And that's why everyone was so excited about the Formation

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Speaker 1: video because they were like, finally, we've been waiting for

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Speaker 1: someone of her caliber to call people out on this.

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Speaker 1: With Leanne, there's not all that pressure there. But at

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Speaker 1: the same time, she's not so huge she's on a

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Speaker 1: central figure in Black America at all. She's British for

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Speaker 1: one thing, and I mean I'll get to that as well.

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Speaker 1: I think her being British plays a big role in

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Speaker 1: her point of view, although I think that the UK

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Speaker 1: has maybe not as many problems with the police because

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Speaker 1: police don't even carry firearms in the UK. But I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna venture a guess that blacks in the UK are

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Speaker 1: not treated all the time as equally as as whites,

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Speaker 1: just like it is here. She even tweeted at someone

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Speaker 1: who was saying I thought she were half Jamaican. She's like, listen,

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Speaker 1: I don't mean to. She's like, no offense, bad idea,

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Speaker 1: whatever you episode of sad, delete delete, I just stop,

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Speaker 1: no offense. But I'm also half Greek, is what she responded. Okay,

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Speaker 1: well just because go ahead.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, it's so hilarious because I'm like looking like Blavity

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Speaker 2: has no chill, no chill. It's like number one tweet,

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Speaker 2: it's about to go down the second tweet. It is

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Speaker 2: like the picture of like what is John John Legend's wife.

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Speaker 1: Christy Tagan? The Christy Tagan reaction, Yes.

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Speaker 2: And that's like the the Beyonce like ooh face, yes, yo,

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Speaker 2: it is hilarious. Oh. You know what the thing is

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Speaker 2: with social media? You just I don't understand. What I

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Speaker 2: don't get is that regular everyday people know not to

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Speaker 2: wild out on social media. What did you want with

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Speaker 2: celebrity brains? Like I know not to put anything crazy

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Speaker 2: on social media, Like my friends know, I've never really

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Speaker 2: anything crazy from them. Why is it so difficult for

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Speaker 2: somebody who has a huge following to say, you know what,

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Speaker 2: I might this might not be a good.

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Speaker 1: Idea because everybody loves celebrities and they're so used to

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Speaker 1: putting a tweet out there and everyone's laughing and loving

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Speaker 1: them and oh retweeting, and they just love me, love me,

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Speaker 1: love me, and they get in that mode and they

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Speaker 1: start to think everything I say matters, everything I say

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Speaker 1: is has a point and I need to say it.

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Speaker 1: Like they just get in that mode. And then it's

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Speaker 1: when they say something stupid.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know somebody wrote, wow, Leanne Lahaves broke my

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Speaker 2: little black heart.

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Speaker 1: Even what I'm saying, why, yeah.

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Speaker 2: I mean, like, and I get it, I will say

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Speaker 2: this that. I mean, it's hard to see perspective if

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Speaker 2: you one are not kind of like inundated in that culture,

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Speaker 2: or you don't know anyone of that culture. Like for example,

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Speaker 2: when when Beyonce. Remember she did that recently, that video

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Speaker 2: with Coldplay, and she was wearing like Indian garb uh oh.

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Speaker 1: I never watched that, like Indian of India, right.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah that's so. And so at first

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, she looks pretty. It didn't even click.

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Speaker 2: And then someone was like, oh, it's cultural appropriation, and

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Speaker 2: it didn't. I'm not gonna lie. That wasn't my knee

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Speaker 2: York reaction. But then I thought to myself, you know what,

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Speaker 2: I could see that. It's just because I'm not Indian.

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Speaker 2: So I did not have that reaction. But if I

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Speaker 2: saw Kesha dressed in like like cultural Nigerian clothes and like,

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Speaker 2: I'd be like, what what is she doing? Because you know,

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Speaker 2: so I can see how sometimes you can miss these

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Speaker 2: these cues if you're not a part of certain cultures.

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Speaker 2: But I think what's important is that then when someone

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Speaker 2: educates you and says, hey, this is why that, you

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Speaker 2: kind of take a step back and you're like, you

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Speaker 2: know what, I could see that or like, you know,

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Speaker 2: if I was in that person's shoes or if that

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Speaker 2: was my culture or that was my experience, I can

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Speaker 2: see how. You know, it's not hard to have empathy

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Speaker 2: for someone else by just really taking a step back.

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Speaker 2: It's just that people refuse to do so on both sides.

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Speaker 2: So it's not just the whatever the argument is. I

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Speaker 2: see that you know more and more. I mean, I'm

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Speaker 2: not gonna lie. Social media. It's like so depressing these

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Speaker 2: days because it's just so much you know, it is, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it is, and so but and what I'm saying is like.

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Speaker 1: We're all tired of responding to it too, bro.

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Speaker 2: We are. Honestly at that point, if.

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Speaker 1: You're not woke, then no one's gonna wake you up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't want to be woke. You're like no,

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Speaker 2: You're like you have okay, you threw your long clock

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Speaker 2: against the wall and you're just like, no, don't. And honestly,

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Speaker 2: I'm not trying to wake anybody up. I'm just like, man,

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Speaker 2: I'm just trying to get by day by day. You know,

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Speaker 2: I'm just trying to make sure I take my vitamins

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Speaker 2: in the morning, which, by the way, gummy vitamins are everything.

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Speaker 1: I just took my two gummy vitamins earlier. Are you

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Speaker 1: just discovering this.

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Speaker 2: No, But it's just I mean it's so crazy. But

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Speaker 2: literally every morning. I'm like, okay, when okay, she'll ripe

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Speaker 2: before breakfast. No, wait, okay, wait wait, cause they're so

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Speaker 2: they're so good. I'm like, should I take one down

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Speaker 2: and one later? They are so delicious it is sinful.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm sure there's like no nutritional value in

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Speaker 2: the vitamins that I have, but darn it, I take

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Speaker 2: them every morning with joy.

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Speaker 1: I mean there's a placebo effect too. If it makes

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Speaker 1: you feel better, yes.

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Speaker 2: It does. It puts a smile. I don't care what

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Speaker 2: kind of morning or what kind of dream I had

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Speaker 2: When I see that jar of done me vitamins on

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Speaker 2: my in my bathroom, on my bathroom sink, I'm like, yes,

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Speaker 2: you and me.

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Speaker 1: Oh, speaking of joy, can we please talk about Virginia

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Speaker 1: McLaurin one hundred and six year old Virginia mclauren who

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Speaker 1: got to visit the White House and shake her little

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Speaker 1: one hundred and.

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Speaker 2: Six year old booty.

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Speaker 1: Yes, that was Keith Obama's. That was so cute.

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Speaker 2: First of all, how was that so hilariously different from

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Speaker 2: the other older lady? They did they remember the other

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Speaker 2: older lady?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 2: What was her name?

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Speaker 1: FLOSSI? Yes, Oh, so we didn't talk about that last week,

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Speaker 1: but Tiffany and I got a little chuckle out of

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Speaker 1: the BuzzFeed. BuzzFeed, I think we're not BuzzFeed. This was

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Speaker 1: like a local report in Seattle. One hundred and how

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Speaker 1: cold was she? One hundred and fourteen or something something

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Speaker 1: like that. Ten Her name was FLOSSI just google Flossy.

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Speaker 2: Yes, old and FLOSSI is the sassiest oldest Like they're like, hey, Flossy,

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Speaker 2: she's drinking her little coffee, like why are you here?

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Speaker 2: And they're like, are you excited about your birthday? She said,

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Speaker 2: not one bit?

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Speaker 1: She said not one Yeah, she was not even going

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Speaker 1: to speed up her cadence a voice for this woman.

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Speaker 1: It's the best four minutes you can spend on the internet,

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Speaker 1: I would say. But Miss Virginia is not sassy. She's

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Speaker 1: just happy. It's so sweet to see her joy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that was really sweet. I was like, that's right,

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Speaker 2: you just danced it on up, you know. But that

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Speaker 2: was just hilarious, Like between the two of them, it's

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Speaker 2: been a great week for old people.

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Speaker 1: But you know, I'm really starting to feel And it

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Speaker 1: wasn't just because of that viral video of the little

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Speaker 1: girl the little black girl crying about Obama leaving?

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Speaker 2: Did you see that?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: I saw that one.

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Speaker 1: Oh it wasn't just because of that. But I'm starting

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Speaker 1: to really and I get the sense everyone is starting

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Speaker 1: to really feel sad about the end of the Obama's

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Speaker 1: And I think what's really making it for me is

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Speaker 1: just like the insanity of this presidential race right now.

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Speaker 1: I had to put my head on my desk earlier

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Speaker 1: today because Trump won Nevada this week. He's probably gonna

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Speaker 1: sweep some states on Super Tuesday next week. I cannot

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Speaker 1: believe we are letting this happen. And I don't know

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Speaker 1: what to do. I just every headline is another dagger

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Speaker 1: in my heart. I don't know what's happening. I don't

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Speaker 1: know how we allowed this to happen. If it was

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Speaker 1: the media, If it's just like there was way more

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Speaker 1: racist and bigots in America than I ever thought possible,

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Speaker 1: I guess that's the answer.

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Speaker 2: Any other buzzworthy things, Well.

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Speaker 1: One last thing I wanted to share so I earlier

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Speaker 1: this week I was I wrote a story for Yahoo

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Speaker 1: about did you ever hear about that startup that launched

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Speaker 1: last fall called swan Love? Yeah, Swan luv So this

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Speaker 1: was from the very get go, a ludicrous platform for

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Speaker 1: a startup. They promised that they were going to loan

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Speaker 1: couples ten thousand dollars for their weddings, no strings attached,

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Speaker 1: so long as they stayed married. If they got divorced,

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Speaker 1: they were going to get the ten thousand dollars back

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Speaker 1: with interest. If they stayed together, they can keep the

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Speaker 1: tang grin forever. So okay, crazy premise. How are you

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Speaker 1: going to finance that? How? How?

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Speaker 2: Why? So?

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Speaker 1: This was back in November at the time. They had

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Speaker 1: everyone go to their website and sign up for their

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Speaker 1: list oh site. They were basically like saying, put your

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Speaker 1: email on the list and when we launched Valentine's Day

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Speaker 1: twenty sixteen, you'll be the first to be able to

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Speaker 1: apply for the Swan Love Wedding funding or whatever it

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Speaker 1: was called. And then Valentine's Day rolls around and people

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Speaker 1: went to the website and it wasn't working and they

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Speaker 1: were told to wait twenty four hours. Like one lady

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Speaker 1: I talked to you named Keana. She's twenty two years

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Speaker 1: old from Shreveport, Louisiana. She went back the next day

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Speaker 1: and the site was just down. So she went to

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Speaker 1: the Facebook page and there they posted a letter saying,

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Speaker 1: we're really sorry to let you guys know, we decided

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Speaker 1: to change our business strategy, basically change the whole way

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Speaker 1: the platform works, and instead of giving you guys ten

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars, we're going to allow you to raise money

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Speaker 1: from your friends and family up to ten thousand, and

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Speaker 1: then if you'd get divorced, you owe them the money back.

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Speaker 1: What So they completely lopsided on there on their initial promise.

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Speaker 1: And I mean not that any any reporter who initially

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Speaker 1: covered it was that surprise because it sounded crazy, right,

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Speaker 1: they said they they said they were overwhelmed by the interest.

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Speaker 1: No duh? Why no duh? I mean the Trader Joe's

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Speaker 1: sample line goes out the wall. Okay, teny little paper cup.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm asking myself when I'm at Trader Joe's. Why

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Speaker 1: am I standing in this line for a teeny tiny

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Speaker 1: little paper cup with a baby sized morsel of pretzel?

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Speaker 2: Why you're there? You're like, I don't care, I'll get

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Speaker 2: my press.

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Speaker 1: It's free, so you want it, right?

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Speaker 2: Yes? Oh yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So I couldn't even get in touch with the

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Speaker 1: CEO because they are obviously just hiding under a rock somewhere.

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Speaker 1: But they said that they people so many people, so

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Speaker 1: many people signed up that they would have had to

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Speaker 1: show out two billion dollars. Wow, wah, two billion. Maybe

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Speaker 1: you should have thought about.

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Speaker 2: That, right, Like, who's not gonna go for free money?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a nunny story. But you know what,

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Speaker 1: I talked to like four or five really upset brides

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Speaker 1: to be and the comments, of course were really negative, saying,

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Speaker 1: you know, why would you ever expect anybody to pay

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Speaker 1: for your wedding? This is trashy. But as someone who's

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Speaker 1: planning a wedding, I can I can I empathize with

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Speaker 1: these women? You know, if there was a chance for

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Speaker 1: ten k I would I would snatch that up in

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Speaker 1: a heartbeat exactly.

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Speaker 2: And people always you know, one thing, my friend told

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Speaker 2: me that my friend marked to it because I was

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Speaker 2: like having like a hard time with I was doing

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Speaker 2: something nice for like a group of people, and somebody

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Speaker 2: was complaining and I'm like, but it's nice and it's free.

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Speaker 2: I don't understand. And he said, Tiffany, my mentor told me,

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Speaker 2: you could literally stand in the middle of time Square

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Speaker 2: with a stack of one hundred dollar bills, giving them

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Speaker 2: one to each person, and somebody will say this is

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Speaker 2: not enough. The next person will say, you know, this

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Speaker 2: is too much. The next person would say, well, how

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Speaker 2: come they get the same amount as me? I have

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Speaker 2: more bills than No matter what you do, that there's

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Speaker 2: always gonna be someone, not everyone and not even most,

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Speaker 2: but there will always be someone to complain, even if

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Speaker 2: it's something good and free and amazing, And so you

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Speaker 2: just learn that, like just got to kind of roll

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Speaker 2: with it, like, well, there's always going to be some pushback,

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Speaker 2: you know, when it comes to.

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Speaker 1: Listen, there's another this reminded me of. I was listening

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Speaker 1: to one of my really one of my new favorite podcasts.

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Speaker 1: It's called Strangers, and it's basically stories about strangers doing things.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's just it runs the gamut. But there

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Speaker 1: is a recent story that this woman produced and put

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Speaker 1: together about a woman in Wisconsin who just decided to

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Speaker 1: donate a kidney, just decided to donate it anonymously or

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Speaker 1: not anonymously, but to donate it to somebody, okay. And

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Speaker 1: she went to this website called donormatch dot com or

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Speaker 1: something where you can find people who are looking for donors.

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Speaker 1: They basically set up profile saying, you know, here's my story,

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Speaker 1: I really need a kidney. I'm seventy five, I'm fifty five. Whatever.

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Speaker 1: So she picks someone that she likes. She's an older

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Speaker 1: woman in her sixties, and she's pretty healthy anyway. Blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah. She's giving this woman one of her organs

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Speaker 1: that she does not need to give anybody. It's hers.

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Speaker 1: She could keep it like most of everybody else, because

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Speaker 1: no one just gives kidneys unless you really know someone

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Speaker 1: who needs.

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Speaker 2: It, right mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: And yet, and yet she's gotten so much crap from

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Speaker 1: people who are upset because she chose someone who's older.

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Speaker 1: They're upset because she chose someone at all. They think

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Speaker 1: that she's playing god. She should have done an anonymously,

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Speaker 1: you know, like why didn't she give it. I'm just like,

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Speaker 1: but she's giving an wagon.

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Speaker 2: I don't understand what is Like, let's really talk about that,

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Speaker 2: because I'm not gonna lie. I've been struggling with that

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Speaker 2: this week, like in my business, like I can't even

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Speaker 2: tell you, Mandy. Sometimes I'm like, I'm just gonna close

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Speaker 2: the shop and then you guys can help yourself because

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Speaker 2: I just don't get how like, I don't understand. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: but it's free. Someone actually emailed me to say, hey,

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Speaker 2: you know, i'd like, you know, half an hour of

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Speaker 2: your time, and you know, to like, I'm doing your

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Speaker 2: challenge which is free. You know, I'm in the group

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Speaker 2: which is free. Thank you for all the resources which

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Speaker 2: are free, but I want you to talk to me

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Speaker 2: on the phone stranger that I don't know. And I

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Speaker 2: just said, honestly, like, I don't have the bandwidth to

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Speaker 2: do one on once, but I could certainly suggest when

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Speaker 2: someone to you or even better, the group is free,

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Speaker 2: and if you post your question in the group, I

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Speaker 2: will tag the appropriate person that can help you get

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Speaker 2: your response. You know that was not enough. It was, well,

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Speaker 2: I think you're selfish and I, you know what, this

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Speaker 2: might not be the right program for me, the free program.

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Speaker 2: I was like, am I unaware of some payment that

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Speaker 2: she made? This might not be the right program? And

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Speaker 2: I just thought, and I just I didn't even know

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Speaker 2: what to say there. Literally, I have nearly ninety thousand

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Speaker 2: people doing this free thing, and it's just not possible

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Speaker 2: for me to get on the phone. And I you know,

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Speaker 2: I tried to explain it because I always I always

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Speaker 2: feel like you know that sometimes people reach out to

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Speaker 2: me and I know that they're scared or they're afraid,

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Speaker 2: and I understand that, so I try, you know, even

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Speaker 2: when I'm upset with them. I never you take that tone.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm not gonna lie. I might say it

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Speaker 2: out loud, but I'm not gonna write you back that way,

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Speaker 2: because I always believe you should leave with kindness. But

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Speaker 2: it took everything in my body. I had to step

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Speaker 2: away from the computer, like I just I just And

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Speaker 2: it's days like that, and it's been happening more and

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Speaker 2: more where folks are just like, you mean to tell

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Speaker 2: me you can't give me more, and I'm just like,

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Speaker 2: I don't even know what to say, cause I'm just

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Speaker 2: like if people only knew, like I know that the

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00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,440
Speaker 2: things that like, you know, especially if if you're giving

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Speaker 2: kind of like for a living, and I see like

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Speaker 2: this with other brands that give a lot, like I

407
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Speaker 2: don't think people understand just how much it costs. I

408
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Speaker 2: have literally spent my life savings to like create some

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Speaker 2: of the things that I give away absolutely for free,

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Speaker 2: because it's just that important to me that I always

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Speaker 2: knew that I wanted to live a life of service,

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Speaker 2: and like I was putting that before almost everything at

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Speaker 2: some points. And then finally, like last year, I was like, Okay, Tiffany,

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Speaker 2: we're not trying to be broke, old lady, so you

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Speaker 2: got to start setting aside for your future, which I'm

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Speaker 2: doing and I'm much much better now. But I have

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Speaker 2: given away so much, and I'm like, why so you

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Speaker 2: want my leg, you want this finger, you want my kneecaps.

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Speaker 2: You know, I just don't get it. And sometimes could

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Speaker 2: you just be so frustrating that you're just like, you

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Speaker 2: know what, Because honestly, I don't get any really any

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Speaker 2: money from the free stuff. And that's fine, because that's

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Speaker 2: not honestly, that's not why I do it. It just

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Speaker 2: makes me feel really good to know that people are better.

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Speaker 2: And so most of my money comes from speaking at

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Speaker 2: different organizations, so like a large organization or a school

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Speaker 2: or church, they'll pay me and so I live off

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Speaker 2: that money, and then in their interim I give away

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Speaker 2: like the other things for free to individuals, just so

430
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,200
Speaker 2: because I like to do that. But honestly, that people

431
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,960
Speaker 2: have you questioning whether you should help them. And even

432
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,439
Speaker 2: though I'm knowing the vast majority are grateful. It's the

433
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,879
Speaker 2: people who are the loudest are always the meanest and

434
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,560
Speaker 2: the negative ones, and it just it makes you not

435
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,200
Speaker 2: want to do it anymore. And it's been a rough

436
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 2: week for that. I'm just like, man, there are days

437
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:49,960
Speaker 2: where I'm like, man, I'm about to shut this whole

438
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,520
Speaker 2: group down. There's seventy thousand people nearly in this group.

439
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,359
Speaker 2: Y'all gonna be on your own because I just can't

440
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:59,160
Speaker 2: take another negative email or nastiness behind the scenes, because

441
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:02,080
Speaker 2: I won't do some some additional free thing for someone

442
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,199
Speaker 2: on top of everything else that I give. You know,

443
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,280
Speaker 2: But it's just it has been like a rough week,

444
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,480
Speaker 2: and I'm just like, like all of my entrepreneur friends,

445
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:10,800
Speaker 2: I always lean on them and I'm like, what do

446
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:14,399
Speaker 2: you do? And some days they have bad weeks two

447
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,520
Speaker 2: in other days, you know, you let it roll off

448
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:20,040
Speaker 2: your back, but you're just not inhuman. It's just I

449
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,879
Speaker 2: don't know, honestly what you're supposed to do. I'm hoping

450
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:26,680
Speaker 2: that with time I'll grow past this. This. Every every

451
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,200
Speaker 2: I notice every year, I always have one new mental

452
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,520
Speaker 2: hurdle to get over. There was like a jealousy year

453
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,000
Speaker 2: that I had. There was a self confidence year, and

454
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,800
Speaker 2: I feel like this year is the Maybe it's like

455
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 2: the sensitivity year, where like I'm extra sensitive to people

456
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,919
Speaker 2: being critical. I don't know, but yeah, it's just been

457
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 2: a rough week. But yeah. So if you're listening and

458
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 2: you're part of the Dreamcatchers group, please be nice.

459
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 1: She I think with you. It's probably taken time because

460
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 1: they're taking this along because people really identify with you personally.

461
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 1: They like you first, then they love what you do

462
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 1: and that you know that you have that halo effect

463
00:21:58,680 --> 00:21:59,119
Speaker 1: for a while.

464
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like, no, we're taking you down.

465
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,160
Speaker 1: Let's go on to brown Break.

466
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:14,920
Speaker 2: You want to go first, because I went first to

467
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 2: last couple of.

468
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:19,360
Speaker 1: Times, I had one naguna. Make me forget it, man,

469
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,160
Speaker 1: I knew I should have written it down. Old lady brain,

470
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,159
Speaker 1: hold on, just give me two seconds and I'll think

471
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 1: about it.

472
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 2: Do you have an old lady name? I feel like

473
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 2: you should have one, Mandy. My name is Wanda, and

474
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:29,800
Speaker 2: I need you to have one.

475
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,120
Speaker 1: I need an old lady name.

476
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:33,600
Speaker 2: Yes, everybody has to have an old lady name. So

477
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,959
Speaker 2: my old lady name. I came up with it because

478
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 2: when I was one of my strategies for like saving

479
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,679
Speaker 2: for retirement. So when I was making choices and I

480
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,960
Speaker 2: wasn't sure, I would ask myself, what does Wanda need?

481
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:46,080
Speaker 2: And Wanda's my old lady, my eighty year old self,

482
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 2: and so I would decide, like, well, I really don't

483
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 2: want Wanda to eat cat food, so and so that.

484
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 2: But then it became like a fun game like with

485
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,640
Speaker 2: my friends, like mmm, my Wanda and your girtruth, they're

486
00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,119
Speaker 2: gonna be fighting on the fighting over the old and

487
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 2: at the the I don't know, yes, at the nursing home.

488
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 1: Or like you know, I'm a nursing home. Just shoot me.

489
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:09,400
Speaker 2: So you have to think of an old lady name.

490
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 2: That is your homework for next week. Everyone should think

491
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,439
Speaker 2: of an old lady name. And tweeted to us at

492
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 2: the BA podcast, I want to know your old lady name.

493
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, who are you saving for?

494
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:17,960
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

495
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,120
Speaker 1: My grandma's name was Doris. That's pretty good.

496
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 2: Ooh, I like that. Oh that's a nice old lady name.

497
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 1: Dorry. They called her.

498
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:25,680
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I think that is like the most

499
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 2: adorable old lady name.

500
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,720
Speaker 1: Her middle name was also something that my grandpa's son,

501
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,640
Speaker 1: her middle name was also Eleanor, so those are also

502
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:34,160
Speaker 1: two Dori.

503
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,360
Speaker 2: Can you imagine as a baby, I guess I'm assuming

504
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 2: Doris and eleanor probably you know, we're like probably like

505
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 2: regular names when she was a kid, but like now

506
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 2: it's like double whemmy old lady name, which I love.

507
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 1: That's how I feel about kids. You have grown up

508
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 1: names as a baby's like George, like Frank.

509
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:58,639
Speaker 2: Yes, Frank is such a grown man who like works

510
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,640
Speaker 2: hard and like comes home. It just wants his dinner.

511
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:04,200
Speaker 2: It doesn't want to and doesn't want any lip from you. Well,

512
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 2: like you know what, I love. I kind of love

513
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 2: and hate it when people name their dogs like those

514
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 2: serious names like oh this is my dog Joseph.

515
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I have a dog named

516
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 1: Phil I signed to He's a Schnauzer. He's very regal.

517
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,919
Speaker 2: When I get a dog, I'm totally gonna name, know,

518
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:32,239
Speaker 2: like a regular name, like oh this is my dog Amanda.

519
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 1: Sounds like a like a dig at me.

520
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:33,440
Speaker 2: No, it just came to mind.

521
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,880
Speaker 1: So I still haven't remembered my brown break.

522
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,639
Speaker 2: You go first, Okay, so my brown break. It's kind

523
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,880
Speaker 2: of related to the social media thing kicked that we're on.

524
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 2: So have you ever been on Facebook and you see

525
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 2: someone say goodbye, cruel world, I'm leaving Facebook or I

526
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 2: need a Facebook break, and then they make an exit,

527
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 2: like a public exit on social media. So my brown

528
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,960
Speaker 2: break is these public exits on social media. I was

529
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,200
Speaker 2: in a group recently and the guy was like, I

530
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,960
Speaker 2: don't like the way the poe are going. I'm leaving

531
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 2: this group is not what it used to be. And

532
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 2: somebody wrote underneath this post, you know what, this is

533
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,199
Speaker 2: a group of over seventy thousand people. Nobody would have

534
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 2: missed you if you left. Good fine, yes, And I'm

535
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:17,879
Speaker 2: just like, I think that just seems so unnecessary and

536
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:21,360
Speaker 2: so dramatic. Why are you making a public exit? Why

537
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,240
Speaker 2: not just go like, if you're gonna take a break

538
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 2: from Facebook, take a break, start now, Or if you're

539
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,680
Speaker 2: going to leave a group, just leave the group. People

540
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,159
Speaker 2: don't need like an exit like post.

541
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 1: And so yet, I have a very dear friend of

542
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,200
Speaker 1: mine who in college, every like two months would delete

543
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 1: her Facebook profile and whenever, you know, like back then,

544
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,640
Speaker 1: you used to be able to tell because you would

545
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,119
Speaker 1: lose like two hundred photos because every photo they had

546
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,160
Speaker 1: tagged you when or posted of you. They would when

547
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,159
Speaker 1: they deleted their profile, it would go away. Oh I

548
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,399
Speaker 1: would lose like five hundred votos and be like, oh

549
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 1: there goes de Nisha, She's gone, and we just laugh

550
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 1: about it. She always would text us, yeah I know.

551
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 1: So she'd always be like, listen you guys, I just

552
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:07,240
Speaker 1: can't anymore. And I'm like, some people just think you

553
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 1: think about them a lot more than you do. Yeah, well,

554
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,639
Speaker 1: I think we all are like that. I'm always like, oh, man,

555
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,120
Speaker 1: are they thinking that I'm like rude because I left

556
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:16,919
Speaker 1: the elevator door close on them?

557
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 2: But I did, yeah too, Or.

558
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 1: Like people don't think about it as much as you

559
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:20,199
Speaker 1: think you do.

560
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think they do. You're right right. I'm always

561
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 2: the one like that is a bad habit, and I

562
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:27,880
Speaker 2: find that guys don't do that as much as most

563
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:29,919
Speaker 2: girls that I know. One of my friends, he is

564
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 2: like the king of like not thinking about other people

565
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,679
Speaker 2: in that way. One time he came over we were

566
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 2: hanging out, and I was like, stopping so loud my roommates.

567
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:40,400
Speaker 2: This is like years ago, stopping so loud my roommates.

568
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 2: And then my roommates actually came home and he was like,

569
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 2: are you kidding me? And that just stuck in my

570
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,679
Speaker 2: mind because I thought to myself, Tiffany, you're always so

571
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 2: overly accommodating for people who one don't care, and your

572
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,639
Speaker 2: roommates weren't even here, you're accommodating them. And so I

573
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 2: told myself to stop. I think because I came from

574
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,159
Speaker 2: a big family and I have four sisters, so you

575
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 2: always have to be accommodating. But I know for a

576
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 2: fact that I'm overly accommodating, and like, yeah, I always

577
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:08,439
Speaker 2: remember being quiet for roommates who weren't even home for

578
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 2: two hours.

579
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:14,120
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I know that's just called being courteous.

580
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:17,439
Speaker 1: I feel guilty because I'm the opposite of that. I

581
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 1: come in like a wrecking ball. Wherever I go, I.

582
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 2: Come in like a raging ball. I actually kind of

583
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:24,680
Speaker 2: like that song. I'm not gonna lie.

584
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:25,440
Speaker 1: It's a great song.

585
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,480
Speaker 2: It is. The video is weird, but it's a good song.

586
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:30,600
Speaker 2: So that's that's your brown break.

587
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, My brown break was just gonna be

588
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 1: work because I'm finally leaving and it's been almost a

589
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 1: year and for me taking any time off, I didn't

590
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 1: even take off Christmas I think that's why I'm so desperate.

591
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 2: Oh girl, I thought you said leaving. I thought I

592
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 2: meant like you were leaving, like quitting.

593
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 3: I was like on air, this girl having like I'm like,

594
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 3: she's taking an awfully light No.

595
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:53,840
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, I mean quitting's not the worst

596
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 1: thing ever happened to anybody. Happens all the time. No,

597
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,919
Speaker 1: I'm just taking this, taking this time off. I'm gonna go.

598
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 1: I'm already resent, I'm already regretting how short it It's

599
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,920
Speaker 1: it's only eight days and I'm thinking, man, we should

600
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 1: have done two weeks. This is what I mean. Like,

601
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 1: you're never as happy for vacation.

602
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 2: Yep, until you're ready to ready to go on and

603
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:13,439
Speaker 2: right before you're about to go.

604
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 1: So brown break from work, brown break from email, brown

605
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 1: break from bosses, brown break from writing, break from telephones,

606
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 1: ringing all day long. This is going to be very nice, right.

607
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,120
Speaker 1: I want to know if you guys have any vacations planned?

608
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 1: Where are you going spring break? That's what I'm trying

609
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:31,480
Speaker 1: to avoid personally.

610
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, when is spring break?

611
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 1: It's like this month. I feel like it gets earlier.

612
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:37,879
Speaker 1: It's like this month and through early April. That's when

613
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 1: people do spring break. I think it depends on what

614
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 1: part of the country you live in. Down South it's

615
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 1: mid March. But anyway, I just.

616
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think when is the next place I'm going.

617
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly the two I'm also going on vacation,

618
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 2: but I just have not been in the mindsetate to

619
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 2: like because for me, vacation is like game on to

620
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 2: plan it because you know, I'm like always looking for

621
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 2: the best deal and doing search and I just can't

622
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:04,560
Speaker 2: buy vacation. So the planning of it is stressful in itself.

623
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 1: But I have an easy solution for you. Just to

624
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 1: plan a vacation with your Dominican in laws and they

625
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 1: will just make it impossible for you to plan anything

626
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,200
Speaker 1: because they will not have their act together. And then

627
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 1: you'll just go. You'll just they'll one day they'll call

628
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:19,960
Speaker 1: and say we're ready to go, and then you just

629
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 1: book your flight two weeks before the vacation. Well lest

630
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 1: you going done.

631
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 2: But you know, I, I mean, the good thing is

632
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 2: that I do have, Like I think, in July, I'm

633
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 2: booked to speak once in like Miami and then another

634
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 2: in La in California, and Superman and Supergirl are gonna

635
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:39,719
Speaker 2: come with me to California, So I'm excited. It's their

636
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 2: first trip to California. So we're gonna go to La

637
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 2: and then we're gonna drive to San Diego and like

638
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 2: hang out with my girl Diessa, who's one of my thaives.

639
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 2: I'm just like enjoy. And then I actually got booked

640
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 2: to speak in New Orleans in December. And I'm curious,

641
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 2: for those of you who live in Nola, how is

642
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 2: New Orleans? And like November December, is it really cold?

643
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 2: And chili?

644
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 1: Just so I know, I think a little chili, but

645
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:06,160
Speaker 1: the least you won't have the humidity of the summertime

646
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 1: in the fall.

647
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, but New Orleans is in December.

648
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, you won't have all that humidity.

649
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,479
Speaker 2: Oh that's true. That's true because I remember New Orleans

650
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 2: is the first time that I actually what is it

651
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 2: that I actually was like officially dehydrated, Like I was

652
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 2: walking down the tree. I didn't know what was wrong

653
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 2: with me, but I thought I had never felt like

654
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 2: that before, and I'm like, it is something wrong, Tiffany.

655
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:28,520
Speaker 2: I just I was literally weaving through the street. I

656
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 2: felt like I was drunk, and I stumbled into a

657
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 2: gay bar and I knew it was a gay bar

658
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 2: because they all looked at me like, uh, I think

659
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 2: you might being a wrong place. It was all men,

660
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 2: but he could just tell that. I was like, I don't,

661
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 2: I don't feel well. He said, ooh, honey, that the

662
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 2: heat done got to you. And I was like, well,

663
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 2: he's like, you're dehydrated. So they made me sit down

664
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 2: and they pumped me full of water, and he was right.

665
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 2: I didn't even know.

666
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's really hard to stay hydrated at conferences.

667
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 1: Do you notice that?

668
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:56,320
Speaker 2: Yes?

669
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 1: Because well, if I carry around your own water supply,

670
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 1: yeah you do. But oh I wouldn't. I wanted to

671
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,720
Speaker 1: ask earlier. If you guys have vacations you got planned

672
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 1: or dream vacations you want to write us about that'd

673
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 1: be fun to share. You can email us at Brown

674
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 1: Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. Yes, Or if you

675
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,479
Speaker 1: have vacation disasters you want to share it too, Those

676
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 1: are always fun. Oh god, I'm gonna drink myself knock

677
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 1: on wood. I don't want a disaster. I don't want

678
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 1: the Zecra virus. That's my biggest fear. No, the Zeka

679
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 1: is in Dominican Republic. That's where I'm going. It is.

680
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 2: And my mother sent me because she's a nurse. She

681
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 2: always sends me stuff. So she sent me like an

682
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 2: email with like updates and stuff. So she's like obsessed with,

683
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 2: like I don't know, diseases.

684
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 1: She's always tell me anything I don't want to know

685
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 1: before I go. I got I got one hundred okay,

686
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 1: and long sleeves, you know, And you.

687
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 2: Don't have to for Dominican Republic. You didn't have to

688
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 2: go get like.

689
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 1: Any shots, right, Nope, but I hope not.

690
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 2: No, I don't think so doubtful nope.

691
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 1: Any who, I think that wraps up brown Bree.

692
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 2: I believe so well, we gotta do some tips, man.

693
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 1: Yeah. We got actually quite a few emails about your

694
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 1: pack underwear confession.

695
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 2: Ohoos, you know what I know. People were like, oh,

696
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 2: tif any wears pack underwear. Yes, I have no problem

697
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 2: being honest about it. I'm wearing a pack. I'm wearing

698
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,800
Speaker 2: underwear from a pack as we speak.

699
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 1: Okay, congrats, No, but.

700
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 2: I do want to switch. I want to change my ways.

701
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 2: So what do they say? What do they say?

702
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 1: Well, what's funny is well, a couple people had recommended

703
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 1: in places. One of them said Journal, which in my

704
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 1: experience is a very kind of expensive lingerie place. Okay,

705
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 1: someone said Nordstrum, Macy's, department stores, department stories. But one woman,

706
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,239
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna call her out because I don't think

707
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,600
Speaker 1: she wants her business out there. I was talking about

708
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 1: how she wears pack underwear, but she throws them away

709
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 1: every month.

710
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 2: Oh every month? Who throws every month? I'm like, I'm

711
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 2: not about that.

712
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 1: Life have underwear from comin.

713
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,160
Speaker 2: I'm gonna lie, I still have underwear. I'm like, you

714
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 2: can help one more time of the month. Yes he

715
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 2: got your special, Like yeah, no, okay, so but I did.

716
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 2: Somebody you guys tweeted me thank you so much. Like

717
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 2: someone tweeted me at the Budgetista that north Strum's was

718
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 2: a good place, but it's a little pricey. But I

719
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 2: think I'm gonna try Coles this weekend, and I'm also

720
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 2: gonna try Macy's because you know, Macy's always has coupons

721
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 2: on coupons, and I know what I probably have to

722
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,120
Speaker 2: do is like what Mandy said, is that right? You said, like,

723
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 2: once I kind of find like a brand that I like,

724
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 2: then I can just that can be my go to brand.

725
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,160
Speaker 2: That's really the problem is that it's hard for me

726
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 2: to find like underwear that fits that are comfortable, and

727
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 2: so I have to kind of go through a few

728
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 2: of them before I find like this is my go

729
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 2: to brand. I could just pick up my underwear whenever

730
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 2: I'm ready for it, because I still got to find

731
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 2: like bras that I like. So I know, I got

732
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 2: to get fitted by north Stum. So you know, I'm

733
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,719
Speaker 2: gon I'm gonna keep guys updated with my underwear situation.

734
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 2: Since you're so interested.

735
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 1: Listen, everybody has to wear well, everyone should wear underwear.

736
00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 1: It's a universal topic, all right. So le's gettingto some

737
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 1: real questions. I think we can do two this week

738
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: because we have a couple well, we have one last

739
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 1: week that we wanted to get to that we forgot

740
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 1: about for our friend Darla. Darla wanted to know how

741
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:15,280
Speaker 1: do you respond to a family family member who asks

742
00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:16,400
Speaker 1: you to borrow money.

743
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:19,600
Speaker 2: That's a good one.

744
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:22,319
Speaker 1: Have this. I've had this happen to me. Has this

745
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 1: happened to you?

746
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:28,440
Speaker 2: Has it? Well? Yeah, yeah, of course, But I always

747
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:33,240
Speaker 2: say it depends who it is, so how much yes,

748
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 2: because honestly, typically like my family members don't ask. So

749
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 2: on occasion, like a sister of like, we'll ask, but

750
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:43,279
Speaker 2: that's rare. Like I can honestly say, my older sister

751
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 2: Karen has never asked. My sister Tracy, in all of

752
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:49,320
Speaker 2: our years, has asked me once. The baby, she doesn't count.

753
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,680
Speaker 2: She's just a she's a revolving door of money, so

754
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 2: she doesn't ask to borrow money. She just says, can

755
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 2: I have so you know the baby? Yes, you know,

756
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 2: the baby of five girls, So she's just like a baby.

757
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 2: But so it depends. So if if I was lending

758
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 2: money to my my sisters, my older sisters and anybody

759
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,800
Speaker 2: but the baby, then I know that it's something serious.

760
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:12,279
Speaker 2: So cause it's it's such a rare occurrence, I'm like,

761
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 2: you need to borrow money? Are you okay? You know?

762
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 2: Now the baby, I'm like, what do you need it for?

763
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:17,440
Speaker 2: What am I gonna get it back? What are you

764
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 2: going to do with it? Show me what you got

765
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,960
Speaker 2: because I already know that her borrowing money might not

766
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:24,839
Speaker 2: be the best use of whatever she's gonna do with

767
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:27,239
Speaker 2: my money. But other than that, like my parents don't ask,

768
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:30,640
Speaker 2: my extended family does not ask. So I'm really fortunate.

769
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:33,840
Speaker 2: But Superman, oh my gosh, he is a bank of Superman.

770
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 2: I mean a day does not go by, like literally,

771
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,600
Speaker 2: he lent money to a cousin, just got it back

772
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 2: and not even but not even two days later, they

773
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,880
Speaker 2: asked to borrow money. I'm like, like, it doesn't even

774
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:47,600
Speaker 2: make sense, like and I told him, I'm like, at

775
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:49,880
Speaker 2: some point you have to just say, this is ridiculous

776
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 2: because they're not even giving it back to you for

777
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 2: you to have it. They're giving it back to you

778
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,359
Speaker 2: to hold for them for when they need it next time.

779
00:35:56,520 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 1: And so like a keev alone, can you hold this

780
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:01,360
Speaker 1: for me?

781
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 2: Because you know money the next week.

782
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,440
Speaker 1: It's an interesting situation. It's not quite what she was

783
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,840
Speaker 1: talking about. But what do you do when your partner

784
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,799
Speaker 1: it's your partner who's giving money to family, and when

785
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 1: you're even I but it's even worse when you're married

786
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,279
Speaker 1: and your money is tied up together. Yes you know.

787
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 2: So this is what I've done to help with me

788
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,880
Speaker 2: and Superman because we live together, we share finances and stuff.

789
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:23,720
Speaker 2: And so what I learned is this is what works

790
00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:26,839
Speaker 2: best for him, is that before like his check, when

791
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 2: he gets it, I sat down, we talked about his goals,

792
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:33,480
Speaker 2: and then we had his check from his job automatically

793
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 2: split into those goals. So he has a daughter who's nine,

794
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,480
Speaker 2: so he puts money in her college fund. We have

795
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 2: a joint savings account, so money automatically goes there. He

796
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,120
Speaker 2: has a bill's account, so money automatically goes there. So

797
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,799
Speaker 2: basically everything is kind of split already, and then kind

798
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 2: of what's left. I've learned that he could do whatever

799
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:53,960
Speaker 2: he wants with it because he's already taken care of

800
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,480
Speaker 2: the things that he's supposed to be responsible for, and

801
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 2: so I just learned to be like, well, if he

802
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:01,840
Speaker 2: wants to lend out, lend his money away, then okay,

803
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 2: it's not you know what I mean. So I've just

804
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:05,719
Speaker 2: learned to just be like, as long as what needs

805
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:07,920
Speaker 2: to be taken care of is taken care of, that

806
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:11,320
Speaker 2: excess is really his choice and his decision. And honestly

807
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 2: it speaks to his character because he's just a really genuous,

808
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 2: nice person. Although sometimes it's like just it just blows

809
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 2: my mind how generous he is, but ultimately it doesn't

810
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 2: take away from our household.

811
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say when it comes to family members

812
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 1: or even friends, every time I and that's not terribly often,

813
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 1: but whenever I give money to people or loan money

814
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:37,000
Speaker 1: to people, I always think, Okay, that was not a loon.

815
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:39,080
Speaker 1: That was a gift, and I don't want to get

816
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 1: that money back, and I don't need that money back.

817
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 1: And if I can feel okay saying I definitely don't

818
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 1: need this money back, then I'll loan it. Because I

819
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,880
Speaker 1: feel like you're gonna lend family members' money, you have

820
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 1: to be realistic with the fact that they may not

821
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 1: pay you back. Yeah, you know, they may really be

822
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 1: needing it. And I think every family member wants to say,

823
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:58,840
Speaker 1: when they're asking for money, oh well, it's going to

824
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 1: be a loon, I'll pay it back, pay it back.

825
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 1: But I don't know. I feel like when I give

826
00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 1: money away, I'm not expecting it back. It's great if

827
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 1: it comes back. Yeah, But that just for me, that

828
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:12,280
Speaker 1: instantly reduces that tension. It instantly removes any sort of future,

829
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 1: any tension, or any chance of an argument, because I

830
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:18,200
Speaker 1: don't have anything to be, you know, upset about in

831
00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 1: my own head. That was alone, that I a gift

832
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 1: that I gave somebody. So that's my litmus test. I'm like,

833
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:25,760
Speaker 1: can I afford. I'll only give what I can afford,

834
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 1: not to give back.

835
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:28,240
Speaker 2: Yes, that's definitely a good idea.

836
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:28,760
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying.

837
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 2: But what if it's somebody important, Like what if it's

838
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 2: like your mom who's like, you know.

839
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 1: Oh, I definitely wouldn't want that back.

840
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no, but meaning like, like what if your

841
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 2: mom is like, you know, we don't have it and

842
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:43,160
Speaker 2: we really need help, and you really don't. It's it

843
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:45,160
Speaker 2: would put a strain on you to give, you know

844
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 2: what I mean, Like, there's certain people who I can

845
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 2: easily be like no, girl, bye, and there's certain people

846
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 2: You're like, h do I put myself in financial harm's

847
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 2: way to make sure my mom is okay?

848
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 1: Yes?

849
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I agree. But I'm just saying that what if, Like,

850
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:01,360
Speaker 2: but what if your mom or someone like that, someone

851
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,279
Speaker 2: who you know looked after you, took care of you,

852
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 2: is constantly coming Because I've had that, I mean, I

853
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 2: get this from a lot of women, especially women in

854
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:12,400
Speaker 2: my age range, especially women of color, who have you know,

855
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:16,160
Speaker 2: they're the first in their family to go to college,

856
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,399
Speaker 2: they're making the most in their family, and people who

857
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:21,719
Speaker 2: kind of helped them along the way grandma mom. So

858
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 2: not just random auntie and uncle, but like those people

859
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 2: who really cared for them are literally bringing them down financially,

860
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:31,360
Speaker 2: and they're like, how do I tell my mother no?

861
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:35,200
Speaker 2: And she needs medication and she needs food, and you know, well, I.

862
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 1: Think that, I mean, that's a danger, that's a I've

863
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,279
Speaker 1: experienced that. I know people who have too. I think

864
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,279
Speaker 1: that it's it's if it gets to the point where

865
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:44,879
Speaker 1: they're actually putting a straight on you, then I think

866
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:46,759
Speaker 1: it's time for you to have a conversation with them

867
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,879
Speaker 1: and maybe readjust their expectations of what you can give.

868
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 1: If they've been looking to you as a source of

869
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 1: emergency cash, they need to know that that cash is

870
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:57,799
Speaker 1: going to run dry and that they won't be able

871
00:39:57,840 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 1: to lean on you. And they've been going to you,

872
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:02,759
Speaker 1: you know, that's easier to them, that's become the default,

873
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 1: and you need to let them know nicely that hey,

874
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:07,080
Speaker 1: I don't know what you think my situation is, but

875
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 1: I really don't have this much. I can afford to

876
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 1: give you this much. If you need help, let me

877
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 1: help you find another means of income. But I've definitely

878
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 1: also had one of my you know, I don't even know.

879
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,239
Speaker 1: A cousin of a cousin of a cousin email me

880
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:22,839
Speaker 1: randomly and was like, Yo, cuz it's can I get

881
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 1: a ticket to New York?

882
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:30,160
Speaker 2: You know? And I'm like, uh right, I'm sorry, Right,

883
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 2: I mean, that's.

884
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 1: Easy to say no too, It's it's definitely hard when

885
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 1: it's your family. And I think moms, you know, I've

886
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 1: watched I've seen mothers who have a really hard time

887
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:43,879
Speaker 1: obviously saying no to their kids. The kid might have

888
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:46,799
Speaker 1: issues just whether not just being lazy, but they may

889
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 1: have issues with drugs or you know, other sort of

890
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:54,759
Speaker 1: substance abuse, and they become this this huge burden on them,

891
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:59,080
Speaker 1: and in that case, it's almost impossible to turn them away. Yeah,

892
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:00,160
Speaker 1: and it's your blood.

893
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 2: Yeah it is. And so the only thing we can say,

894
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 2: what's the woman's name that wrote us, Darla? Darla? Is

895
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 2: the transparency, help sitting down and communication and really sharing, like,

896
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 2: you know, if this is what I can afford to

897
00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 2: do with those people, and for those people who you

898
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:17,719
Speaker 2: kind of know, like if it's your mom and she's like,

899
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 2: we don't have food or medicine, that's something different. But

900
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 2: if it's your uncle, who's like, you know, we really

901
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 2: need help. It's another thing to just be like, you

902
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 2: know what, I don't have it, because people figure out

903
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 2: a way when they know you can't do it, they

904
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 2: figure out a way, you.

905
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,759
Speaker 1: Know, And if you let them, if you show that

906
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:35,840
Speaker 1: you're an easy to begin with, they will remember that

907
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:38,440
Speaker 1: and continue tapping the well. And I think women tend

908
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 1: to feel like you know, they want to Like we

909
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 1: said earlier, we want to please, we want to provide,

910
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 1: we want to take care of people. But you have

911
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:46,320
Speaker 1: to take care of yourself first, and especially I have

912
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:48,359
Speaker 1: a family, kids, and this goes for men too. That's

913
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 1: your priority, your family and your kids first, just like

914
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:53,360
Speaker 1: you said Superman, as you know, as long as the

915
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 1: priorities are paid for first and he can do whatever

916
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 1: he wants with the rest. Don't guilt yourself and to

917
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 1: give you money to anybody. Yeah, question number two this

918
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:07,440
Speaker 1: is from oh how do I say this, Charlisia? Okay,

919
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:10,799
Speaker 1: Charlicia says, oh, she really loved the episode about the

920
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:14,320
Speaker 1: FU Fund. Yes, and that was all about having a

921
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 1: little money set aside for you to just say you,

922
00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:19,920
Speaker 1: F you to a bad boyfriend, f you to a

923
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:23,400
Speaker 1: bad job, F you to a waiter who you know

924
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:25,560
Speaker 1: is rude to you for whatever reason, just f you

925
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:28,759
Speaker 1: fund so, she says, So she's dating somebody, let me

926
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 1: make sure. Oh yeah, I'm dating an amazing man. But

927
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:33,920
Speaker 1: when I have mentioned that I have a pot of money,

928
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:37,760
Speaker 1: a pot of my own money on the side, against

929
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 1: my mother's advice to not tell him until after we

930
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:45,479
Speaker 1: were married, he was not receptive to it. She gives

931
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:48,400
Speaker 1: us some context. I'm his only girlfriend since college, and

932
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 1: he's a person who does not love often, but loves hard.

933
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 1: His parents divorced, and he feels like wanting my own

934
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:59,399
Speaker 1: little pot of side cash is a sign that I'm

935
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:03,240
Speaker 1: not all of course. Okay, she says, to be honest,

936
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:04,960
Speaker 1: I struggle with this too. I don't want to be

937
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 1: I don't want to be planning an exit, but I

938
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 1: like the idea of a separate account for whatever may happen.

939
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 1: I want to do it, but I don't want to

940
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:13,839
Speaker 1: keep that a secret. She wants to know what our

941
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 1: thoughts are in juggling an independent how to be an

942
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:21,399
Speaker 1: independent and prepared woman versus making sure that the guy

943
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:23,799
Speaker 1: she loves knows that she's one hundred percent all in.

944
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 2: I you know, what I think it was the presentation

945
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,480
Speaker 2: because for example, Superman and I, like I said, I

946
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,360
Speaker 2: have a bill's account. He has a bill's account, We

947
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 2: have a one joint savings account. He has money in

948
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:36,800
Speaker 2: his daughter's account, and then he has like other moneies,

949
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,640
Speaker 2: like he has another savings and some other things. But

950
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 2: I don't. And it's not a secret that he has

951
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:44,719
Speaker 2: those things. But I don't. I don't know what everything is.

952
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:46,920
Speaker 2: And I will say, he's my boyfriend, so we're not married,

953
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:50,720
Speaker 2: but and me too. He knows that I have savings

954
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:52,880
Speaker 2: accounts and I have other things, and I have a

955
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 2: business with that has its own savings accounts, and so

956
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:58,600
Speaker 2: I don't. I didn't present those accounts as a just

957
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,320
Speaker 2: in case fund because nobody really wants to hear that

958
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 2: that's just stuff, you know, like right that exactly, So

959
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:10,919
Speaker 2: I can see why he's feeling that way, because presentation

960
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 2: is everything. If it's just like, oh, you have you

961
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:15,160
Speaker 2: have your bill money, and this is where I have

962
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:17,759
Speaker 2: some of my bill money, and it's more like that

963
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,600
Speaker 2: this is just an account that you have because all

964
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:23,319
Speaker 2: of our money is not our money. You're gonna have

965
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 2: some money that's yours, and I'm gonna have some money

966
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 2: that's mine. It's not money set aside specifically for it

967
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:30,799
Speaker 2: should I have to leave you, you know what I mean.

968
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:33,160
Speaker 2: So I think if if that I mean, I'm not

969
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:35,040
Speaker 2: saying that's how you presented it, but if that's how

970
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:36,960
Speaker 2: you he received it, then you might want to go

971
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:40,040
Speaker 2: back and say, Babe, this account is not for should

972
00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:41,800
Speaker 2: I have to leave you? This is just my money.

973
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,879
Speaker 2: You know, we're paying bills together, we have savings together.

974
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:46,839
Speaker 1: And see they're not married, they're just dating.

975
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:49,480
Speaker 2: Okay, So then that's I think maybe going back and

976
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,080
Speaker 2: just saying like, no, just like you have money, I mean,

977
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:55,400
Speaker 2: we don't have a If you don't have any joint

978
00:44:55,400 --> 00:45:00,000
Speaker 2: savings and joint money together, then he has whatever whatever

979
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 2: accounts that he has, it's not with you, technically similar

980
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,520
Speaker 2: accounts that you have without him. So I just think

981
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 2: representing it and repositioning it in a way that it's

982
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:09,959
Speaker 2: not an exit strategy fund.

983
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:15,319
Speaker 1: It's just a fund, right, And I think maybe I think, well,

984
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 1: what I'll say initially is that if he's truly upset

985
00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:20,759
Speaker 1: by the fact that you have a little money on

986
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 1: the side, is this an issue that you should be

987
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,520
Speaker 1: worried about I think that if a man is threatened

988
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:28,040
Speaker 1: by a woman who has a little bit of cash

989
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:31,239
Speaker 1: on the side, it can be a And I'm not

990
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 1: saying this is the case at all, because I don't

991
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:34,920
Speaker 1: know all the context, but I feel like it can

992
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:38,880
Speaker 1: be a sign that he is intimidated by someone having

993
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 1: what he thinks as an exit, like he's afraid that

994
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:44,319
Speaker 1: you might leave and actually have the means to leave,

995
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,359
Speaker 1: rather than feeling like, Oh, I found a woman who's

996
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:51,040
Speaker 1: really independent and can take care of herself and is

997
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:54,640
Speaker 1: smart and saves a head. And I don't know if

998
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:57,480
Speaker 1: it sounds like he's telling himself that that narrative in

999
00:45:57,480 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 1: his head, like you said, he's you know, the divorce,

1000
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:03,120
Speaker 1: and so am I and we see that and we worry.

1001
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:05,720
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of that worry is maybe

1002
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 1: happening in his own mind and he's just sort of

1003
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:10,600
Speaker 1: projecting that onto you in this savings account. But I

1004
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:12,759
Speaker 1: agree with Tiffany to talk to him again about it

1005
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 1: and just let him know you are all in this

1006
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:17,439
Speaker 1: money is something that you feel is important to have

1007
00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:20,799
Speaker 1: for your own financial security. If it's to the point

1008
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:22,759
Speaker 1: where you guys can do this or want to do this,

1009
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:25,279
Speaker 1: why don't you present the idea of creating a pot

1010
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 1: of money you both can save for or have, you know,

1011
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:31,200
Speaker 1: put toward a common goal, whether it's the wedding or whatnot.

1012
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 1: But I definitely feel like being open and honest is

1013
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:37,879
Speaker 1: important I I personally, and maybe I did it way

1014
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 1: too soon because I am just like I don't have

1015
00:46:40,239 --> 00:46:43,040
Speaker 1: any filter. And I also because I talk to people

1016
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:45,280
Speaker 1: about their finances every day, I forget that it's awkward.

1017
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 1: I forget that people don't like doing it. And so

1018
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 1: early on when we moved in together, me and my fiance,

1019
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:52,279
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, what do you have? Where is

1020
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:54,319
Speaker 1: it at? And here's what I have, and here's where

1021
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 1: it's at. And I and I kind of we continue

1022
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 1: sort of doing that, and we would, I would, you know,

1023
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:01,920
Speaker 1: want to make sure because so where are we at

1024
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,239
Speaker 1: with this? Where's the savings? Where's the credit dead? And

1025
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:08,160
Speaker 1: I mean not like overbearing, but I'm really really because

1026
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:09,879
Speaker 1: I grew up in a household where money was such

1027
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:12,920
Speaker 1: a hush hush topic and the only time manyone was

1028
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 1: talking about as if they were fighting about it, I

1029
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:18,280
Speaker 1: really wanted to make it more of a positive, normal

1030
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 1: conversation to have and I wanted him to know where

1031
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:23,239
Speaker 1: I was and for me to know where he was.

1032
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't want to go into marriage blind

1033
00:47:25,239 --> 00:47:28,480
Speaker 1: and and I feel like we were stronger because of that.

1034
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:30,280
Speaker 1: I'm not saying it was always easy. It wasn't awkward.

1035
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:32,440
Speaker 1: We didn't fight about some stuff, you know, when I

1036
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:35,000
Speaker 1: tried to push too much to get the information that

1037
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:38,440
Speaker 1: I wanted. But I don't think you should keep it secret.

1038
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:40,000
Speaker 1: I think you did the right thing. I think it's

1039
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:43,080
Speaker 1: just a I think you'll continue probably having this conversation.

1040
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,919
Speaker 1: You'll see when you're in relationship, you'll continue talking about

1041
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 1: the same things, and you'll think you get over it.

1042
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:51,480
Speaker 1: He's down with the savings account, and then it'll come

1043
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:52,759
Speaker 1: up a year from now, and you'll just have to

1044
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:56,840
Speaker 1: keep revisiting it and reiterating sort of what you've said before.

1045
00:47:56,880 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 1: But I feel like that's just part of relationships.

1046
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:03,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is. And so you just it's like a

1047
00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:05,360
Speaker 2: dance that you do. I always say, especially in the beginning,

1048
00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:07,279
Speaker 2: I don't know how long you've been dating him, I

1049
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,160
Speaker 2: always say, you know, when you start a relationship, it's

1050
00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:11,280
Speaker 2: like dancing with the guy for the first time, or whoever,

1051
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:13,520
Speaker 2: for the first time on the dance floor, both of

1052
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 2: you guys are like trying to figure out each other's rhythm,

1053
00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:18,120
Speaker 2: like wait, okay, wait, okay, no you go first, okay wait,

1054
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:21,399
Speaker 2: and then you know, the longer you dance, you start

1055
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,959
Speaker 2: to just know people's movements. And then you see people

1056
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 2: who have been together for a long time and they're

1057
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:28,879
Speaker 2: in sync with each other, because that takes time, and

1058
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:31,880
Speaker 2: it's okay not to be in sync right away, you know,

1059
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,239
Speaker 2: just learning the keywords and the buzzwords that kind of

1060
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 2: like make him feel uncomfortable because you might be saying

1061
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:38,799
Speaker 2: the same thing, but saying it in a different way

1062
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:41,800
Speaker 2: could change everything. So just give it time and open

1063
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 2: open communication and transparency are.

1064
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:55,359
Speaker 1: Key, alrighty. If you guys have any questions, you can

1065
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:59,440
Speaker 1: email us at Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com.

1066
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:02,640
Speaker 1: Detailed questions are always preferred, and let us know if

1067
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:03,800
Speaker 1: you want us to say your name or not. I

1068
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:04,799
Speaker 1: kind of just call people out.

1069
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:05,840
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I want to.

1070
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:09,919
Speaker 1: I just feel like if you don't want your name

1071
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 1: to be said, then you would say, don't say.

1072
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:14,960
Speaker 2: Monday, say my name, say my name. Do you want

1073
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 2: to end with any wins?

1074
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 1: I would love to end with a win. What was

1075
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:22,439
Speaker 1: my oh my win this week? Well, can we set

1076
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 1: it up actually do the whole win thing? Okay for

1077
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:27,759
Speaker 1: editing purposes, Okay.

1078
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:29,839
Speaker 2: You go.

1079
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:33,319
Speaker 1: Do you want to do the win win Okay?

1080
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:37,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like your saying, all right, so let's start again,

1081
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:40,879
Speaker 2: all right. All I do is win, win, win, no

1082
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 2: matter what. I never know the second line. I don't

1083
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:44,680
Speaker 2: really care.

1084
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 1: We established this last week so much so that one

1085
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:49,680
Speaker 1: of my friends text and they were like, yay, you

1086
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:50,880
Speaker 1: got the second line.

1087
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:57,759
Speaker 2: Oh well friend, sorry, Oh that's cute. Our friends are like,

1088
00:49:57,800 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 2: what you have? You have a podcast? I'm like, you

1089
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:01,600
Speaker 2: know what you know?

1090
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:03,840
Speaker 1: I don't know what. I love that they listen. But

1091
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:05,279
Speaker 1: at the same time, I'm like, okay, you're gonna pick

1092
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 1: apart everything I said this week. Okay, good, here we go.

1093
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:10,360
Speaker 2: And I'm glad. I'm like, like, definitely a lot of

1094
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:11,960
Speaker 2: people I know listen, but like as far as like

1095
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:14,359
Speaker 2: my close close friends, no, because I'm like they're gonna

1096
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:15,880
Speaker 2: be like really packed under her Tiffany.

1097
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:19,719
Speaker 1: Really they're really close. They should know by now.

1098
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 2: So what is your win my win this week?

1099
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:26,400
Speaker 1: I don't know. If you watch the show Blackish, do

1100
00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:27,719
Speaker 1: you yes? Love it.

1101
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:30,319
Speaker 2: Did you watch this week's episode? No, but I saw

1102
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:32,120
Speaker 2: that clip that you're about to probably give a win too.

1103
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:35,880
Speaker 1: I haven't seen the clip. What clip? I just I

1104
00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:37,200
Speaker 1: didn't do the whole episode.

1105
00:50:37,440 --> 00:50:39,880
Speaker 2: Oh well, they talked about like when she was like,

1106
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:41,720
Speaker 2: don't worry, you're not going to get shot. That couldn't

1107
00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 2: be you, and she goes in. They go in to say, yes,

1108
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:46,160
Speaker 2: that could be you to their kids, like, I guess

1109
00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:48,960
Speaker 2: they're watching like a case on TV about a young

1110
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 2: black dady. Yeah.

1111
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:51,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me let me do the whole thing, okay.

1112
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 1: I mean, because the whole context for the show is

1113
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 1: this episode. It was called Hope okay, and I knew

1114
00:50:57,120 --> 00:51:00,239
Speaker 1: it was going to be about Black lives matter, although

1115
00:51:00,239 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 1: they never really said black lives matter in the whole

1116
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:04,320
Speaker 1: episode now that I think about it. But they were

1117
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:07,800
Speaker 1: handling the Black Lives Matter movement and all these instances

1118
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:10,600
Speaker 1: of police brutality against black men and black women. They

1119
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:12,880
Speaker 1: handled it in such a cool way. And I was

1120
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:15,800
Speaker 1: worried going in. I was like, it's sitcom. How do

1121
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:18,880
Speaker 1: they're really funny? How are they going to make Black

1122
00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:22,000
Speaker 1: lives matter funny? And they managed to do it, and

1123
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 1: the way that they did it. I mean the family

1124
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 1: and the show. It's a mom and dad and then

1125
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:28,799
Speaker 1: four hilarious kids. There's the two twins who are about

1126
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:30,839
Speaker 1: how they're like eleven. I don't know how they old,

1127
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:32,879
Speaker 1: like nine to eleven years old. I'm really bad at

1128
00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:35,560
Speaker 1: like age perception of children. Then you got the older

1129
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:38,319
Speaker 1: kids who are like maybe fifteen and seventeen, and they're

1130
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:42,920
Speaker 1: all sitting around watching CNN and they are watching I

1131
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:45,960
Speaker 1: think it's a fictional case that's happening. They're waiting for

1132
00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 1: to see whether these cops will be indicted for shooting

1133
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:52,040
Speaker 1: an unarmed black man. And the entire episode is them

1134
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:54,200
Speaker 1: in the living room. That's the only set there is

1135
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:57,440
Speaker 1: really okay, the whole episode from start to finish, they're

1136
00:51:57,440 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 1: sitting in front of the TV. It's almost like a play,

1137
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:02,360
Speaker 1: like a like a one act play or something. And

1138
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:04,319
Speaker 1: the kids come in and they get the young kids

1139
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:06,239
Speaker 1: want to know where. They say, you know, why is

1140
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:09,719
Speaker 1: everybody so mad? And then the mom and dad go

1141
00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:11,919
Speaker 1: back and forth because the dad wants to tell them

1142
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:15,320
Speaker 1: and the mom wants to protect them, and the teenage

1143
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:18,000
Speaker 1: son wants to go out because after the indictment comes

1144
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 1: down and after there's no indictment. He wants to go.

1145
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:22,960
Speaker 1: There's all these riots in the city. He wants to

1146
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 1: go downtown, and the dad wants to let him and

1147
00:52:25,640 --> 00:52:28,400
Speaker 1: the mom doesn't. And it's a really, I think, authentic

1148
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:31,799
Speaker 1: picture of the struggle parents have when their kids can

1149
00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:34,880
Speaker 1: see everything. You know, back in the day, in the

1150
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:38,920
Speaker 1: nineteen the sixties, seventies, like there were no twitters or facebooks.

1151
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:41,279
Speaker 1: You could really turn the TV off and that was it.

1152
00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:44,000
Speaker 1: Your kids were not going to see anything. And now

1153
00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:46,040
Speaker 1: there's no way you can't shut off. There's too many

1154
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:48,960
Speaker 1: screens and outlets, Like kids are exposed to all this stuff.

1155
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:51,720
Speaker 1: And I just thought the show and Kenya Harris, who's

1156
00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:54,919
Speaker 1: the I think she is the creator and the writer

1157
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:58,240
Speaker 1: of the show, did an amazing job tackling that subject

1158
00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 1: matter and doing a really authentic depiction of what it's

1159
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 1: like for families today.

1160
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:05,319
Speaker 2: I saw like the clip a clip of it, and

1161
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 2: I was like, Wow, this is great. So I think

1162
00:53:07,239 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 2: I might I'm not really a big TV person and

1163
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,319
Speaker 2: I never got into Blackish because I just don't watch TV,

1164
00:53:11,440 --> 00:53:13,640
Speaker 2: but I think I might might have to do.

1165
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:16,279
Speaker 1: So. It's a funny, it's quirky, it's so quirky that

1166
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 1: you'll be surprised they even did Black. I thought they

1167
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 1: would just you know, I never thought they would do

1168
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:22,239
Speaker 1: it because it's such a quirky and funny show. I mean,

1169
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:23,799
Speaker 1: the first of all, the kids are hilarious. The two

1170
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:27,160
Speaker 1: little kids, Diane I think her name is Marquise, might

1171
00:53:27,200 --> 00:53:29,759
Speaker 1: be getting that wrong, Marquis or something like that. The

1172
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:33,360
Speaker 1: kids are amazing, and you know, it has Tracy Ellis

1173
00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:37,960
Speaker 1: Ross and yeah, it's a good show. And now I'll

1174
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 1: be a loyal fan because I thought that was just

1175
00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 1: really well done.

1176
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:44,040
Speaker 2: Okay, Black Ash, we see you, all right. So I

1177
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:48,000
Speaker 2: found my wind via Google on my phone. So apparently

1178
00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:50,240
Speaker 2: the Oscars, which are happening soon.

1179
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:53,200
Speaker 1: Sunday, I will not see them, and I'm okay with that.

1180
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 2: And so there are a bunch of black Hollywood stars

1181
00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:59,640
Speaker 2: that are skipping the Oscars to attend a Justice for

1182
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:02,680
Speaker 2: flat benefit. Our Faith is going to be there. Jesse

1183
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:03,480
Speaker 2: you know, we.

1184
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:06,320
Speaker 1: Love him, Jesse from Empire.

1185
00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:11,000
Speaker 2: No, Jesse him, Jesse Williams. Yes, our Faith, Abra Duvene,

1186
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:13,000
Speaker 2: ournother fave is going to be there, and a bunch

1187
00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:14,520
Speaker 2: of other people. So they're like, you know, and I

1188
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:18,680
Speaker 2: don't know that it's an anti oscar statement versus a

1189
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:20,800
Speaker 2: pro Flint Michigan statement.

1190
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:22,200
Speaker 1: You know I like that.

1191
00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:24,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too, Like it's one thing just to stay home,

1192
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:27,680
Speaker 2: but why not do something with that time? Like, you know,

1193
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:29,600
Speaker 2: why not? I just think that this is a great

1194
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 2: idea I would love to see. Not to say Jada

1195
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 2: Pinkett Smith doesn't do like you know what she does

1196
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:39,719
Speaker 2: for child She does, like what isn't it child sex traffic? Yes,

1197
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:41,760
Speaker 2: you know, so people act like Jada doesn't do anything,

1198
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:43,960
Speaker 2: but she does. But it would be nice to see

1199
00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:46,000
Speaker 2: that if you're going to stay home from the oscars,

1200
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 2: then putting that energy towards something it doesn't have to

1201
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:52,360
Speaker 2: be Flint, but towards something else, and bringing attention towards

1202
00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 2: something else like one thing. I mean, I know this

1203
00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 2: for sure, but it's hard sometimes is that we have

1204
00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:00,440
Speaker 2: to remember that what you put your energy toward is

1205
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:03,040
Speaker 2: what you kind of bring forth in your life. So

1206
00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:07,120
Speaker 2: you could be anti something. I think they quoted Mother Teresa.

1207
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:08,760
Speaker 2: You know, I was about to say instead of mother Teresa,

1208
00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:12,560
Speaker 2: I was about to say Queen LA'TI f oh oh,

1209
00:55:12,719 --> 00:55:15,719
Speaker 2: But the Queen's awesome too, So Mother Teresa. They asked

1210
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:18,600
Speaker 2: her if she would ever attend an anti war rally

1211
00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:20,879
Speaker 2: and she said no, I would never And they said

1212
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:24,080
Speaker 2: why not, and she said, I would instead attend a

1213
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:27,200
Speaker 2: pro peace rally because what you put your energy toward,

1214
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:29,400
Speaker 2: you know, what you focus on is really what you

1215
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:31,520
Speaker 2: grow in your life. And just reminding that's just a

1216
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:33,440
Speaker 2: little reminder for me too, like this week, like put

1217
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:36,040
Speaker 2: your energy toward good things and that's what you see

1218
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:38,399
Speaker 2: and that's what you get. And I like that they're

1219
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:42,840
Speaker 2: putting their energy toward something positive versus just anti oscars.

1220
00:55:43,239 --> 00:55:45,719
Speaker 1: Oh, I totally agree. That's awesome. Oh and it's co

1221
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:49,920
Speaker 1: hosted by Ryan Coogler, he directed Creed. Mm hmm, that's cool.

1222
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:52,520
Speaker 1: You know, I feel like this is a really like

1223
00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:54,880
Speaker 1: you said, it's a good reminder to actually do something.

1224
00:55:54,880 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 1: When you say, oh, if you're not for the state

1225
00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:59,360
Speaker 1: of America right now, then what are you doing to

1226
00:55:59,360 --> 00:55:59,880
Speaker 1: make it better?

1227
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:00,279
Speaker 2: Mm?

1228
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,439
Speaker 1: Hm, you know, don't wait around for someone to fix

1229
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:06,880
Speaker 1: it for you. That's great. I wonder I Phil, we

1230
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:09,440
Speaker 1: can be invited now since we support this. I hear

1231
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:13,480
Speaker 1: it's open an event. We had to pay thousands of

1232
00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:14,040
Speaker 1: dollars to go.

1233
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:16,000
Speaker 2: No, I don't think so whatch for Flint?

1234
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:22,000
Speaker 1: Where's my where's my invite? At? Ashtack? Justice for Flint?

1235
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:26,400
Speaker 2: Yes, the winds, the winds, the winds. I'm glad we

1236
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:28,400
Speaker 2: always end with a win. It's just a little little up,

1237
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:29,200
Speaker 2: little uptick.

1238
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:32,640
Speaker 1: You know. This reminded me real quick of a mini win.

1239
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 1: The New York Times did that whole feature on like

1240
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:36,360
Speaker 1: what it's like to be in Hollywood if you're not

1241
00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:36,960
Speaker 1: a white man.

1242
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:38,120
Speaker 2: I didn't see that.

1243
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:40,399
Speaker 1: It's good. Everyone go to New York Times and look

1244
00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:43,560
Speaker 1: it up. Yeah, it's awesome. It's yeah, it's up there.

1245
00:56:43,560 --> 00:56:44,960
Speaker 1: It's up there. It's going to be the magazine this

1246
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:46,960
Speaker 1: weekend too. But who you know? You can read a

1247
00:56:47,040 --> 00:56:50,520
Speaker 1: line now, Oh, I know I get the magazine. I

1248
00:56:50,560 --> 00:56:52,600
Speaker 1: know who reads it. I do because I pay for it,

1249
00:56:52,640 --> 00:56:53,600
Speaker 1: But no one else does. I know.

1250
00:56:55,280 --> 00:56:57,759
Speaker 2: Honestly, y'all think that I'm the shady one. Mandy. It's like,

1251
00:56:57,800 --> 00:56:59,239
Speaker 2: and you know it's so crazy, Mandy. I don't know

1252
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:02,200
Speaker 2: what it is about me, But all of my friends

1253
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:05,080
Speaker 2: that I love the most, you have like the identical

1254
00:57:05,120 --> 00:57:07,839
Speaker 2: personality to my best friend Drina, to my CEO who

1255
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:12,000
Speaker 2: I love Sierra, like all of my like friends, not

1256
00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:13,880
Speaker 2: all of them, but a great number of like my

1257
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:18,560
Speaker 2: friend's friends, all have this similar like like just lovable

1258
00:57:18,720 --> 00:57:23,720
Speaker 2: but definitely sassy and like like this like shady on

1259
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:26,120
Speaker 2: on the low sometimes personalities, And I'm like, I wonder

1260
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:28,280
Speaker 2: why I track these people. Maybe because secretly I wish

1261
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:29,000
Speaker 2: that I could be.

1262
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:32,360
Speaker 1: Like your mind, you're a good cop.

1263
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:34,480
Speaker 2: Yes, that bad cop.

1264
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:35,400
Speaker 1: I love being bad cop.

1265
00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:38,880
Speaker 2: Yes, and they do too. What Drina loves it. She's like, girl,

1266
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:40,840
Speaker 2: I start with not liking you, and then you earn

1267
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:43,760
Speaker 2: your way to like it. I'm like really, but she's like, no,

1268
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:45,320
Speaker 2: I'm always you know. What it is is that I'm

1269
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:49,120
Speaker 2: always like everybody's great. And she's like, well, let's see.

1270
00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:50,600
Speaker 1: That.

1271
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:53,320
Speaker 2: Yes, I know, And I'm like, that's why I love

1272
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:54,880
Speaker 2: Maddy so much. I'm like, you just remind me of

1273
00:57:54,880 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 2: all all my favorite people. That was the back hitm No,

1274
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:03,400
Speaker 2: it wasn't, because I just like when people are not

1275
00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:06,920
Speaker 2: afraid to not always have to be lovable, because I

1276
00:58:06,960 --> 00:58:09,920
Speaker 2: have not quite mastered the art of not feeling like

1277
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:11,720
Speaker 2: I have to be likable at all times, you know.

1278
00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:14,000
Speaker 1: I feel like by the time you get to Wanda,

1279
00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:14,960
Speaker 1: you'll have learned.

1280
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:17,480
Speaker 2: Oh yes, I cannot wait. I feel like Wanda is

1281
00:58:17,520 --> 00:58:20,640
Speaker 2: gonna be cussing and fussing and enjoying it.

1282
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:25,080
Speaker 1: Wanda has zero fucks to give, but anybody's opinion, mss Wanda.

1283
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:27,040
Speaker 1: I can't wait for Miss Wanda. I love timmany, but

1284
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:28,160
Speaker 1: we'll get to ms Wanda one day.

1285
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:30,720
Speaker 2: So are you, Dory? So what have you decided?

1286
00:58:30,920 --> 00:58:33,840
Speaker 1: I think I'll be Dorry Okay, Dorry, Dory eleanor when

1287
00:58:33,840 --> 00:58:34,560
Speaker 1: I'm being fancy.

1288
00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:38,000
Speaker 2: Yes, when we are signing off, Wanda and Dory, we

1289
00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:38,880
Speaker 2: will check y out later.

1290
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:41,880
Speaker 1: Next time I talk to you, I will be hopefully

1291
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:46,919
Speaker 1: three shades browner oo and nice and the last Yes.

1292
00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:50,040
Speaker 1: All right, have a great week you too.

1293
00:58:50,400 --> 00:59:01,720
Speaker 2: Bye bye