00:00:08 Speaker 1: Hell, I invit? 00:00:09 Speaker 2: Did you hear. 00:00:13 Speaker 3: Thought? 00:00:13 Speaker 2: I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to me, you gotta come to me empty, And I said, no, guests your own presences presents enough did I already had too much stuff? 00:00:35 Speaker 1: So how did you dare disurbey me? 00:00:48 Speaker 3: Welcome to? Welcome to? My said no gifts. I'm trying to break up the beginning of this. I always feel almost like a robot at this point. Is there another way to say, I'm Bridger Weininger, I don't know. Welcome to? I said no gift. I'm Bridger Wineger. I don't know. Now you're confused. The listener is so disoriented, And that's fine. We're in the backyard. We've had birds just flocking and screaming, and really the big news is I'm on strike. Not from the podcast industry. Podcast industry offers no protections to me, but my writer's union is on strike, and so I'm kind of just floating about doing whatever. Hopefully, by the time this reaches you, we've reached some sort of agreement. And if that's the case, great, Otherwise I'm going to become more and more militant. I'm willing to become violent. That's just a little update on my life. You had to know it, and you can see I'm just falling apart. We've got to get to the guests. We have to save the podcast. I truly love today's guest. It's Fenn, Lily Fenn, Welcome to I said no gifts. 00:01:56 Speaker 1: This is so cool. Thanks for having me. 00:01:58 Speaker 3: I'm so happy to have you. You're base. We've had some people who play music on the side on the podcast before. You're only the second official musician. Really, who great? Amy Man? 00:02:09 Speaker 1: Oh shit, yeah? 00:02:10 Speaker 3: So oh please? Yeah, Amy Man. I think was the first person in this backyard. 00:02:17 Speaker 1: Actually she gave you a mask, Yeah, she gave I know everything about this podcast. It's actually making me kind of nervous. I don't really get nervous, but I'm nervous now. 00:02:26 Speaker 3: Well, I'm nervous because I love your music. Oh, you have a new album out and we don't have to talk promotionally. But it's not but we should say it's great. 00:02:34 Speaker 1: I should say it's great, it's. 00:02:36 Speaker 3: Lovely, it's wonderful. Thanks. But that's you know, but it also makes you competition for me, because we don't want the listener listening to music. Well, maybe they carve out a half an hour a day. 00:02:46 Speaker 1: I don't listen to me. I didn't listen to music the whole of COVID. I listened to your podcast, Sarah Silverman's podcast, and crime Wow. I didn't listen to any music at all. 00:02:55 Speaker 3: Zero, pretty much zero. 00:02:57 Speaker 1: I listened to like comfort stuff I listened to as a kid, like The Killers. 00:03:03 Speaker 3: That was kind of it. That's kind of like junk food. Yeah. I mean, God, bless the hips and depth of music. Totally. Yeah, I guess because I mostly listened to music in the car. So during COVID, my music and loud music, I barely listen to. No sort of stuff I blast in the car. Isn't happening at home. 00:03:23 Speaker 1: You can't blast at home. 00:03:25 Speaker 3: No, you're mopping. Then you're like dancing around with the mom crying cry. 00:03:30 Speaker 1: To cover it. So no one else in the house, and if you live with other people with. 00:03:35 Speaker 3: My boyfriend, but when he's around, it's silent. Sure, No, it's not. He's actually very loud, I demanded. Unfortunately, he says that in the morning. Did you ever see Phantom Thread? No, there's a. 00:03:49 Speaker 1: This is the third time this week that this has come up that I haven't watched it. I should just watch it. 00:03:53 Speaker 3: Grow up Phantom Thread with you. 00:03:55 Speaker 1: My boyfriend and someone in my band. 00:03:57 Speaker 3: Oh wow, it's in the it's in the era. 00:04:01 Speaker 1: It's nice that you didn't react to you heavily to me not seeing it, because I hate it when you haven't seen something. People like you haven't seen it. 00:04:07 Speaker 3: It's the worst. 00:04:08 Speaker 1: No, I know. 00:04:09 Speaker 3: I mean, I can make you a large list of things I haven't seen, I haven't heard or read. 00:04:14 Speaker 1: I haven't seen, read or heard about most stuff. And I like that. 00:04:18 Speaker 3: And even by the time you die, it'll still be the same story hopefully. Yeah. Why are we talking about Phantom third? Oh yeah, because in the movie, Daniel da Lewis is very much about things being quiet. My boyfriend unfortunately thinks that's how I am in the morning, too much noise, this sort of thing. But it's because the morning I need it to be. 00:04:36 Speaker 1: A little quiet. You need to ease into the day. 00:04:38 Speaker 3: You need to ease into the day. I'm reading that's. 00:04:40 Speaker 1: Like being angry that a baby can't walk yet. 00:04:43 Speaker 3: Thank you any time, I'm constantly angry with babies who aren't walking. Get it together, let's move this a long. 00:04:50 Speaker 1: I don't like it that they have shoes but they don't use them. 00:04:53 Speaker 3: Worthless, It's so stupid. Yeah, I mean, actually that now I'm thinking about that poem for sale short story for sale baby shoes never used? Is that what it is? Yes? 00:05:05 Speaker 1: But I know somebody that got it wrong and said that the foe was for sale baby shoes too small or something like. Completely collapses the whole emotional side of that. 00:05:20 Speaker 3: I mean, obviously it's a sadder version of I mean, it's a sad poem. But now I'm thinking maybe the the salesperson is just like, well, the baby wore them but didn't walk around. 00:05:32 Speaker 1: Them. 00:05:32 Speaker 3: Yeah, never got exactly the mint condition for sale baby shoes mint condition. That's a better story, in my opinion. You'll get more bites, I think. Okay, so you're in Los Angeles because you're on tour, you live in New York. You're not from New York obviously, But how long? How long you on tour. 00:05:52 Speaker 1: For I just finished a long ish tour. We just toured the UK and Europe, and then I got back to New York a few days ago, landed, got a tattoo, and then got a plane here yesterday and I'm rehearsing for the next tour, and the next tour is months and a half. 00:06:09 Speaker 3: Okay, well let's back up. You got a tattoo. I got a tattoo. What is it? 00:06:14 Speaker 1: Well, my dog died on tour last year. Oh I know, and I've been intending to get a tattoo to commemorate him, but I didn't want to get something too sentimental or tweet, right, So I got his name really big on my knee and like rock FM. 00:06:31 Speaker 3: What's his name? 00:06:32 Speaker 1: Moss? 00:06:33 Speaker 3: That's great? Yeah? Yeah, I think with dog stuff and tattoos, if you ended up with some like curly Q thing, you would regret it. 00:06:41 Speaker 1: He wasn't that cute either. I mean he was, but he was kind of like a spunky bad boy. So I feel like immitted the font to Madge. 00:06:47 Speaker 3: How old was he when he died? Mm, this is a sad thing to talk about. 00:06:51 Speaker 1: No, he lived a good life. I think he was twelve twelve. That's a dog. And what sort of dog was a Collie? 00:06:58 Speaker 3: Oh? I love a carling. Don't they chase sheep? They did their goal or their job? The main dog with a job and if they true, they're the main dog. 00:07:09 Speaker 1: With the job. It's the only dog I can really think of that like really struggles with not having its job, like collies getting eurotic if they don't have sheep. 00:07:17 Speaker 3: Oh right, I heard they're defined by their career. I'll get some hobbies and to get. 00:07:23 Speaker 1: Into puzzles and yeah, no, he was really cool. 00:07:27 Speaker 3: I've been doing a puzzle that I got on this podcast, Pieces a thousand. 00:07:30 Speaker 1: It's not enough. 00:07:32 Speaker 3: This is the first puzzle I've ever done, and it's killing me. 00:07:34 Speaker 1: Yeah, what is it? Is it one of those gradient ones? 00:07:37 Speaker 3: It's no, it's of horrible United States presidents. Oh. So it's been. It's been a challenge for me to get into because. 00:07:45 Speaker 1: You just you're angry while you're doing it. 00:07:47 Speaker 3: You have I mean, it's a weird. There's a dissonance because I'm pretty cozy and comfortable looking at the pieces, but there are also these people who have basically been denying me rights for you know, and just destroy the world. So it's been but I'm making progress. The listeners are after me to finish it, and it truly has been on my counter for at least six weeks, and I feel like if someone was watching me do it, they'd be like, oh, you've this is sad. You've never done a puzzle before. You don't know how to do this. 00:08:16 Speaker 1: How are you going about it? 00:08:17 Speaker 3: Tell me how I should be going about before I. 00:08:21 Speaker 1: Be condescending. 00:08:22 Speaker 3: Well, i'd like that. I'm looking to learn. 00:08:25 Speaker 1: I mean, you're obviously starting with the edges, right. 00:08:27 Speaker 3: I did start with the edges. I knew that. 00:08:29 Speaker 1: Then you've got a color group. 00:08:31 Speaker 3: Okay, I've kind of done that, but unfortunate colors are all over the place. The colors are all over the place, and they're all white men and so but it's all like weird slight variations on pink and peach. So it's like when. 00:08:43 Speaker 1: You say it's the bad Presidence, I'm guessing Obama isn't there. 00:08:46 Speaker 3: He's not there. 00:08:47 Speaker 1: We've got just the worst. 00:08:48 Speaker 3: We've got Nixon, Ronald Reagan, both Bushes. I mean, we do have Abraham Lincoln. He's kind of thrown in there. I think, who knows why, Well, it's because we were not going to get into it. Blah blah, black politics, US history. 00:09:02 Speaker 1: I don't know shit about American politics. 00:09:05 Speaker 3: But it's it's the guys I don't really agree with. Yeah, and so they're living on my kitchen counter disrupting every day, I mean, and then today you get sucked into puzzles. It's a weird feeling. 00:09:16 Speaker 1: You don't have to tell me about puzzles. Me and my dad get obsessed with the same stuff. I don't think we're that similar, but we have similar obsessions. Okay, puzzles is one of them. I bought him a Salvador Daly puzzle for Christmas one year. 00:09:30 Speaker 3: How many pieces I. 00:09:31 Speaker 1: Think it was two thousand, and they were quite small. Okay, So the cool thing about this puzzle is that the size of the puzzle matched the picture on the box. Oh kind of do it on the box, which was nice. 00:09:46 Speaker 3: Is it a big box? 00:09:47 Speaker 1: It was a huge box. 00:09:48 Speaker 3: Wow, that's great. 00:09:49 Speaker 1: But it's helpful because then you know, like the parameters and. 00:09:52 Speaker 3: But does that feel like cheating? 00:09:54 Speaker 1: You'd think so, wouldn't you. 00:09:55 Speaker 3: I would think so. 00:09:56 Speaker 1: To me, I was just like, work smart, not harder. I don't know. But we started about eleven PM and it got to we're also standing over the kitchen table kind of bent over, you know when you're washing up over your pasture. Okay, so we're doing that for four hours and it gets to yeah, like two or three in the morning, and I'm like, Dad, I really want to go to bed. You have to save it for me. But he wouldn't save it for me, so I had to stay up and Oh, my god, and how far into it did you get? We did the whole thing in one night, because we're both obsessed about things and kind of are the worst for enabling each other to not take breaks from. 00:10:31 Speaker 3: So we're talking to an adult man who has been doing a puzzle half the size for at least six weeks. 00:10:36 Speaker 1: I could get my dad over here. 00:10:38 Speaker 3: I know. I'm like, so suy to call somebody over and get a task rabbit or some sort of person to come over and help me. But then I'm like, I kind of want to do this, so I want it to be mine. Yes, despite not liking the picture at all. 00:10:49 Speaker 1: Despite not liking the picture all the process, it's mine. 00:10:53 Speaker 3: I hated every element of this. I do feel like it's probably confusing for visitors. They come over and they're like, oh, where does Bridger life. 00:11:03 Speaker 1: Politically, it would be cool if you kind of cloaked it with like a sheet or a and then that would even be more weird. What's under. 00:11:15 Speaker 3: Don't go to the east wing. Well, hopefully it'll be. I have just in the last day made incredible progress. I feel like I'm getting there. Within at least three weeks, it'll be done. And then what do I do? Just push it into a garbage can. 00:11:30 Speaker 1: The problem. When I moved into my first apartment in New York, my roommate had framed completed puzzles. Okay, right, so I guess he's gluing as he goes. I don't know how that. 00:11:42 Speaker 3: Works, but we've got one of those. 00:11:43 Speaker 1: It's awful. I hate it. It's so ugly. I Christian, if you're listening, you knew I didn't like it from the beginning. 00:11:49 Speaker 3: Back it up. Then we've got one hanging in my my boyfriend. I got my boyfriend one of our dog for Christmas. That's different during COVID he put it together. It's in our guest room. Your dog's alive. Dog's alive. Not to brag. She's running around. I gave her a bath this morning. Oh, I had a busy morning. It sounds like you did puzzling, washing dogs. That's two things. 00:12:14 Speaker 1: No. 00:12:15 Speaker 3: I did laundry. I washed my jacket which hadn't been. 00:12:18 Speaker 1: Washed in coats don't get washed enough. 00:12:20 Speaker 3: No, I was like, oh this, I think this smells. And when you can smell, when you can smell your own smell. Then I was with someone recently who really smelled it. I'm not gonna name names, but you know, occasionally you're with somebody you're just like, should I tell you? 00:12:37 Speaker 1: You? 00:12:38 Speaker 3: Should? You definitely should? Would you tell somebody they smell one? How do you go about that? 00:12:44 Speaker 1: Don't want to hurt your feelings, but you smell Wow, I don't know. I I think you won't know really how this feels. But whenever I have my period, I'm worried that I'm leaking. 00:12:58 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'm sure. 00:13:00 Speaker 1: And I have one time gone to the bathroom and realized that I had leaked. Right. This was years ago, and it gave me such a complex, of course, and I tracked back all of the people in the day that i'd met, and all the people that didn't tell me that I was covered in my own blood. 00:13:16 Speaker 3: With all betrayal. 00:13:16 Speaker 1: It's so awful. 00:13:17 Speaker 3: Especially every woman you crosspads, they should have, especially anyone with the tad period should have said. Then you know, it's like having something in your teeth, It's like smelling, but smelling, though, smelling is a different thing because it. 00:13:31 Speaker 1: Depends what you smell of. I think if you smell of armpits grow up, everyone knows that that's something that happens. If you smell like old we you have like stomach breath when you haven't eaten, and you have like you know what I mean, right breath, smelling breath. I think that that's okay to point out, Oh. 00:13:52 Speaker 3: I've never done it before. I don't. Do you think there's do you think you smell right now? Do you get do you feel like you smell on tour? 00:14:02 Speaker 1: I think everyone smells on top. There's a certain like van smell that kind of just lingers. 00:14:07 Speaker 3: Kind of a smelly family exactly. 00:14:11 Speaker 1: But I've definitely gone to the merch table afterwards and like put my arm around someone and been like, oh, I hope that's them. 00:14:18 Speaker 3: But you've been on stage, You've been absolutely rocking out. 00:14:23 Speaker 1: If you if you ever watch me playing, you would notice that there's no reason why I should smell it. I'm stock still, and in my mind when I'm playing, I'm like moving quite a lot, and then I see a video and it's a whole different spot. 00:14:39 Speaker 3: Do you feel like, does that come from nerves? 00:14:41 Speaker 1: No, I'm just not a very comfortable person physically, and also my music doesn't. Really it would be really strange for you to be. 00:14:49 Speaker 3: Like flinging yourself around the stage. Yea, although it could. It would be a fun feeling for the audience to be like, what's what's she up to? 00:14:56 Speaker 1: What's she feeling from this? Because it's not. 00:14:58 Speaker 3: All worth she has a different idea of she's riding. 00:15:00 Speaker 1: Oh, she's thinks she rocks. I'd need a Brittany mic I'm thinking about getting on. 00:15:07 Speaker 3: That's a great move for you. That's a really smart and don't play guitar anymore. 00:15:12 Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been thinking about this. You know what a man wants, A man wants. It's a good Albumme once said that I should stop playing guitar so that I could focus on singing. No, which I don't disagree with because I never really I wrote these songs and I never really know how they go until it's happening. Sure, but if I had a Brittany Mike, I would want to put the guitar down and really get into it for sure. Karaoke to my own music? 00:15:40 Speaker 3: What have we got to do? To get you the brittany mic. I guess, buy it, buy the mic, and then you have to take it to every venue you go to and be like, oh, I have I brought my own? 00:15:49 Speaker 1: I mean, I take my own anyway, because I have had so many lip zits mis so gross. I once played a few days after another band played there and they were infamous for putting the mic up their bum. 00:16:05 Speaker 3: Name the band, I don't remember the band. 00:16:07 Speaker 1: They were Scandinavian, which I remember jar like was jarring because I I think of Scandinavian folks as being very calm and polite, right and clean and yeah, not mic people. Wow, but that just made me. That was the decision point. 00:16:24 Speaker 3: How long is the microphone shoved up? 00:16:26 Speaker 1: The rest? 00:16:27 Speaker 3: Does it matter? I mean, but I'm just like, what part? How does the show? How does this even work? Yeah? 00:16:32 Speaker 1: I guess maybe it's like for the final song, they're like, and now you know we're stopping because this is happening. 00:16:37 Speaker 3: Now we've got to get them, I mean, their name out, We've got to find out who this is. 00:16:41 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's also like we're holding mics now these mics. 00:16:48 Speaker 3: Pod suddenly becomes disgusted. This is the last episode. You didn't know it, but it is. They enabled each other in a really bad way and the show had to be closed down. I think, God, my dad isn't here because it would have happened sooner. Okay, so you refuse to use those mics, and that's the actually the venue is then at fault. They should be throwing those away or I'm. 00:17:11 Speaker 1: Sure they did. I'm sure they were, like, oh. 00:17:13 Speaker 3: Put them in the dishwasher. Can a microphone go through a dishwasher? I don't think so what. 00:17:19 Speaker 1: Can't go through a dishwasher? Have you seen Broad City? I've seen season one and I think two, one, two, and three are the ones that I would recommend. 00:17:28 Speaker 3: And then after that they do a lot of dishwasher stories. 00:17:31 Speaker 1: Three she puts somebody at somebody's dildo in the wash and the dishwasher melts. 00:17:37 Speaker 3: Those should be dishwasher safe. How else are you cleaning those hands? 00:17:44 Speaker 1: Like like me in Lockdown thinking that the laundromats were shut and I was washing my underwear and the sink, but then I discovered that they had been open the whole time. 00:17:54 Speaker 3: So how long did you wash your stuff in the sink? A year and a half year and a half. 00:18:00 Speaker 1: It's a long time about the smell thing. 00:18:02 Speaker 3: So who finally broke the news to you? 00:18:06 Speaker 1: I think I was just mentioning it to a friend that lives nearby, and they were like, oh, doing, Yeah, we've been going. How long did that take you to wash off your clothes and the s I had endless time. It didn't really matter. 00:18:19 Speaker 3: Between puzzling and washing your clothes and the sink, you barely had a life. 00:18:24 Speaker 1: I was doing very little in lockdown, listening to your podcast, washing my pants at the same time, I was doing weird things like I was listening to a podcast and not doing anything else, which is really strange. Just sitting still, sitting so scary, so scary it is. It really is not moving your hands or anything, just sitting. 00:18:48 Speaker 3: Wow, I should give that a try. Yeah. I wasn't even like sunbathing or anything because I can't. We have the same Oh yeah, I meanstly forgetting. When was that some we had a terrible sunburn? 00:18:58 Speaker 1: Um we went through Glasgow on tour famous. 00:19:03 Speaker 3: I mean it's a tropical paradise. 00:19:05 Speaker 1: The top of my head burned. What I had to change my parting? 00:19:11 Speaker 3: Yeah, why did that happen there? 00:19:13 Speaker 1: Because it was sunny for about four hours and I was outside for about one hour. 00:19:20 Speaker 3: Terrible feeling. 00:19:21 Speaker 1: Yeah. Also, the head is like, it's just embarrassing. 00:19:25 Speaker 3: Right because it kind of never gets sun and it's not ready for it. 00:19:28 Speaker 1: Well, I mean, it kind of always gets sun, so you'd think it would have learned. 00:19:31 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I guess I'm saying the absolute wrong thing. 00:19:34 Speaker 1: It's constantly explosive to see what I've said the wrong thing. 00:19:38 Speaker 3: I mean, I guess it depends on where your hair is parted and the thickness of. 00:19:42 Speaker 1: Your hair exactly. This is why I'm wearing a hat right now. 00:19:44 Speaker 3: You're basically bald. I'm not under that hat, that's what you. 00:19:48 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like Bret Michaels when he's always wearing the bandanna, because you know that he's just tucked the extensions in the sun. 00:19:57 Speaker 3: There's nothing on top. Okay, well we have to look Ben. You've listened to this podcast. You know what's happening here. The podcast is called I said no gifts. You've admitted you've listened to the show. You clearly know the rules. So I'm just gonna say it sucks. It really sucks for you to show up today. I was excited to have you here. You've got a new album out. Everyone should go listen to it and find a way to pay a musician. I don't know how that works anymore. It doesn't happen. God bless the musicians, God bless anyone. No one gets money anymore. I was excited to have you here. That's what I'm trying to get to. So I was obviously a little shaken. You show up really late, first of all, with some flimsy excuse about an uber driver playing harp music giving you a gift. By the way, maybe we'll get into that in a minute, but we've got to get to I'm distracting myself. You brought me a gift. Mhm. It's kind of a it's basically in the it's a shape of a. 00:21:03 Speaker 1: Baby, the shape and size and texture of a baby. 00:21:07 Speaker 3: It's swaddled. Yeah, uh, do you swaddle anything other than a baby? 00:21:12 Speaker 1: Bury toes? 00:21:13 Speaker 3: So it's a very toe. Sorry, this is full of rice and beans. Just slop, absolutely slop. It's swaddled like a baby in kind of a sheet or something. Do you want me to open it here on the podcast? 00:21:26 Speaker 1: I would love you too. 00:21:44 Speaker 3: We're already saying so, I'm so it's unwrapping itself. 00:21:50 Speaker 1: It's a giant. 00:21:51 Speaker 3: It's a giant coke bottle. It's enormous. This is at least eighteen inches. I just threw the sheet on the. 00:21:57 Speaker 1: Ground that that was part of the gift. 00:21:59 Speaker 3: I'm doing, and I'm addicted. Where did this? It's probably thirty it's like a yard. 00:22:05 Speaker 1: Did you measure it on your body? Because I'm thinking it might be from your hips to your shoulder. 00:22:08 Speaker 3: It goes from Oh, I think I was perfectly right, like the Torso creepy that I knew that should you could win a prize at the fair. 00:22:19 Speaker 1: I got that at the fair guessing beans in a jar. 00:22:24 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's about a Torso sized bottle. Where did this come from? 00:22:27 Speaker 1: It came from a junk shop in LA I was trying to find big things to a photo shoot and I found. 00:22:34 Speaker 3: That, Wow, this isn't How much did this cost you? I'm not going to tell you to ask. I'm rude. 00:22:40 Speaker 1: I think I was like twenty bucks. 00:22:41 Speaker 3: It was twenty dollars. Yeah, that's expensive. I mean, is it? 00:22:45 Speaker 1: That feels that's only four million streams on Spotify. I could do it in a day. 00:22:50 Speaker 3: You're underestimating it. It's probably twenty million. Yeah, it's a gorgeous bottle. So you went to a junk shop. 00:22:59 Speaker 1: Well, I was on the hunt for big things, and if you type in big things in LA, it comes up with a list of stuff that's happened historically in LA. It's very hard to find big things in LA. So I was kind of just trapesing around and I found that I wanted in my photo shoot to be dwarfed, of course, or dwarfed. 00:23:20 Speaker 3: To look small. Dwarfed, I think it warved sounds a little class here. This is not a trashy. 00:23:26 Speaker 1: Podcast, primarily, sorry to bring the tone down. Yeah, I was trying to find big stuff to make me look smaller because my record's called Big Picture, and I thought it would be funny if I looked small. And I found that. But then I realized for the photo shoot that we couldn't have branding. 00:23:41 Speaker 3: Oh interesting, but I mean you heavily branded. I did, but then it looked trash cool. 00:23:47 Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, so I thought I'll give it to Bridgest. 00:23:50 Speaker 3: So what other big things did you get? 00:23:52 Speaker 1: I got a bowling ball that looked like an eyeball, oh, which just cool. Well, so I got a huge pencil. Do you know how much a big pencil costs? 00:24:00 Speaker 3: Oh? I want it? So it was newer used used. I'm going to say that it's nine dollars so much more shocked the expression on her face. 00:24:11 Speaker 1: You haven't seen phantom threat. No, it's it's like two and a half grand to buy. I'm not joking. Wait, I'm not joking. I didn't buy it. I rented it. But it was like three hundred dollars pencil a bit taller than me, not even that big as well. Can I tell you a small anecdote from my hunt for big things? 00:24:32 Speaker 3: Okay, but we're definitely marking down. We are coming. We can come back to a cast of this pencil. Because I'm mystified inflation. I don't know what it's out of control. Okay, go on. 00:24:43 Speaker 1: So, yeah, I found this bottle first. This was the first thing, and I thought that is I mean, how much bigger than a normal coke bottle? Is it maybe like six times the height? 00:24:51 Speaker 3: I would say that like size wise, it's probably like three and a half coke bottles. Okay, but yeah, obviously gurfey, it's a proportional. So it's much. 00:25:02 Speaker 1: It's big, It's like suitably big. So I took a picture of it. And I found a man who who rents out oversized props for stuff, and I went to his warehouse and he's got all these big things, and I showed him the picture of the coke bottle, and I was like, this is what I've got so far. Do you have anything that kind of matches? And he full body laughed and was like, you call that a big coke bottle? This is a big coke bottle. And he had one that was like as tall as your little porch area. 00:25:30 Speaker 3: Do you call this thing a goda? A roof on the. 00:25:33 Speaker 1: Outside roof, it's a houseless roof. 00:25:36 Speaker 3: Another thing I'm eventually going to fall through while trying to clean off or something. 00:25:40 Speaker 1: He was he was laughing at my big thing because his big things were bigger. 00:25:44 Speaker 3: So this was like probably fifteen feet tall. Sure, yeah, wow? What was it made out of glass? What? What is he using this for? Oh? 00:25:54 Speaker 1: This is the thing. I don't know, and I don't think he knows. He doesn't really have a clear client base. He was clearly very excited to have me in the showroom. So I was confused why he was making me feel bad about myself and my previous decisions. But he had the big He had a big cray on, a big pencil. He had a huge foot. So how long is a piece of string? 00:26:18 Speaker 3: Of string can be any length was at the world. 00:26:25 Speaker 1: It was as big as this table. 00:26:26 Speaker 3: Okay, so probably this and this episode six is dedicated to the measuring freaks. Let's just put it out there, the estimators and the measurers. We are looking for you, the fair ground freaks. This table's probably of seven feet long. Six feet long, yeah, no, probably five and a half feet long. 00:26:45 Speaker 1: You're using your own leg as measured. 00:26:48 Speaker 3: And I've just revealed my height, which is so embarrassing. That's what kept me out of the NBA. 00:26:53 Speaker 1: I'm three oversized coke bottles toil. But yeah, he was a strange man. 00:26:59 Speaker 3: And did he make the things? 00:27:00 Speaker 1: No, he just collected them from. 00:27:02 Speaker 3: Where movie sets. 00:27:04 Speaker 1: Maybe it's also sweet because he he's like big in the game of big things, but clearly has some kind of point to prove and seems like a small man emotionally because he was he wanted to make me a lady feel bad about my big bottle. 00:27:20 Speaker 3: Odd wow, job, and it was it a big warehouse. 00:27:24 Speaker 1: It's surprisingly not for all the big things. 00:27:26 Speaker 3: It was kind of just piled up. How much is in charging for a huge crayon? 00:27:30 Speaker 1: So much? It was like, yeah, three hundred bucks to rent it for a day. 00:27:35 Speaker 3: Whoa, yeah that is wild. 00:27:37 Speaker 1: And then one and a half two grand to buy. 00:27:40 Speaker 3: So this photo shoot photo shoot, oooh interesting, that's a new thing. Photo shoot ended up being what you had, the coke bottle, the pencil. 00:27:48 Speaker 1: I had a huge vase with a huge flower in it. Oh, I couldn't really afford many more things. 00:27:53 Speaker 3: Sounds like a very expensive shoot. 00:27:55 Speaker 1: But I'm on a label now. 00:27:57 Speaker 3: You should have just that's true. 00:27:59 Speaker 1: But it just keep having to remind me that it is my money. 00:28:03 Speaker 3: Yeah, ultimately they're loaning you the money, right, Wow, No one makes any money anymore. Everybody just owes everyone money. It's an interesting world. 00:28:11 Speaker 1: The world, isn't that the world itself like seven billion zillion dollars in debt or something that probably is. And how can the world be in debt to who? 00:28:21 Speaker 3: I just don't understand. And of course everyone's thought of this before is shocked. 00:28:27 Speaker 1: I am sorry. It's a three hundred trillion dollars. 00:28:31 Speaker 3: That feels like a bargain. Actually, I mean for the entire planet, what. 00:28:35 Speaker 1: Even is a trillion? How many? How many zeros? 00:28:37 Speaker 3: A thousand billion billions? And when you put it in that way, doesn't sound like that much. You put it that way, I could do a fundraiser and get there. M No, I feel like, why can't we all just say, let's give each other a break. We're no longer in debt to the three hundred trillion is gone. 00:28:57 Speaker 1: How can that is. 00:29:00 Speaker 3: The side of big money. 00:29:02 Speaker 1: You're a banker, big bottles, big farmer, big money, big pencil. Now, I just I was just about to get really deep into that idea of the world owing itself money. But then on my way back from I flew from Paris to New York the other day and I was tired, and at the passport control station when you're internationally flying, they make you wait for three hours to prove that you're not trying to stay forever, especially in New York. But I was like right at the front of the two hour long queue, and I made a friend in the queue just before I went through. It was kind of like this feeling of elation, like finishing a marathon or something where I was like, let's bond. It was a it was like a French exchange student, and we were talking about daylight savings kind of zero to one hundred, and then I was I said, I started some stupid line of conversation like if we can make the days longer in the summer, why don't we just do it all year round? And English wasn't his first language. He was already kind of stretching to anyway. Saw his face kind of just drained of color. And then my name was. 00:30:14 Speaker 3: Called, and you left this tired, confused man. 00:30:18 Speaker 1: Probably straight back to Paris. It's like hate. 00:30:24 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean there are a lot of imaginary concepts we're all just kind of hanging on to for whatever, the same Santa Claus, those are the two CONTI yeah, if we could just get rid of those, everything would be fine. 00:30:36 Speaker 1: I agree. 00:30:37 Speaker 3: Do you drink soda? 00:30:40 Speaker 1: Yeah? 00:30:41 Speaker 3: Like what soda are you drinking? 00:30:43 Speaker 1: I like sprite, like a lemon, I like a citrus, right drink. 00:30:48 Speaker 3: My problem with a sprider is that I do not I cannot detect a citrus anything in that. 00:30:54 Speaker 1: Yeah, I have beef with it because it's like lemon. And lime, right, tastes like neither. 00:30:59 Speaker 3: They're almost the same flavors a different color. That's where you know they're lying. Yeah, just from the very beginning, it's lemonon lies. We're just we just choose to read it lime. The podcast is not political. We said it in advance. We can't get into the ship. 00:31:14 Speaker 1: This is all off the record. 00:31:16 Speaker 3: I'll be edited out. No, Yeah, that's interesting. Lemon and lime are essentially this. Are they the same flavor as my big I prefer a lime? 00:31:24 Speaker 1: Sure? 00:31:24 Speaker 3: But then I think, is it just because it's a more fun color. 00:31:27 Speaker 1: It's just cuter as well, Right, it's a. 00:31:29 Speaker 3: Little bit smaller, kind of stocky. 00:31:31 Speaker 1: The little cousin of the lemon. It's curvyd cousin of the lemon. 00:31:34 Speaker 3: Yes, lemon. 00:31:36 Speaker 1: You drink? You seem like not a sweet food and drink person. 00:31:40 Speaker 3: Well, I was raised Mormon, so I know everything. 00:31:43 Speaker 1: About you that you've ever shared publicly. 00:31:45 Speaker 3: So for a long time I couldn't drink coffee. So my caffeine source was, what are the rules? 00:31:50 Speaker 1: What are the rules about consuming? 00:31:52 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm sorry, no, it's I mean it's you look like a. 00:31:55 Speaker 1: French boy that I made friends with suddenly just like not wanting. 00:31:58 Speaker 3: To be here. Mormons can't drink coffee your tea? 00:32:00 Speaker 1: Why, I mean, God is. 00:32:04 Speaker 3: That's essentially the rule. It's supposed to be some sort of health code. But then you're allowed to drink as much coke as you want, which is truly bad for you. Sure, so for a long time that I drank like doctor Pepper coke, you know, I was doing it. I was in the soda game. I then switched to diet coke. Now most of my caffeine comes from coffee, although I say my evening caffeine comes from a diet coke. 00:32:28 Speaker 1: Evening caffeine, yeah, because. 00:32:29 Speaker 3: If I need a little pick me up at night. I camp too much. 00:32:31 Speaker 1: About a club Marte. Oh what you don't have that here? 00:32:35 Speaker 3: What is that? 00:32:35 Speaker 1: Sorry, I've just been to Europe. 00:32:37 Speaker 3: We're about to learn everyone embrace yourself club Marte. 00:32:41 Speaker 1: It's a I don't really know what it is. It's like a soda with caffeine in it, and it tastes like juice. Oh that sounds lovely, it's really nice. 00:32:48 Speaker 3: What sort of juice? 00:32:49 Speaker 1: It kind of tastes like what's the brown soda that you get? It starts with an m it's made from like a root. It tastes kind of like a root beer. 00:33:00 Speaker 3: Oh, I guessing not. There's something called sassafrass. That's oh tamarind tamarin? 00:33:06 Speaker 1: Is that a thing? 00:33:07 Speaker 3: Tamarind? I think is kind of a citrusy thing, right or it's kind of just an ugly fruit that no one wants. 00:33:11 Speaker 1: It looks like a potato, but it's it's kind of. 00:33:14 Speaker 3: The least appealing fruit. 00:33:17 Speaker 1: If you ever have Where are you. 00:33:18 Speaker 3: Getting this is? Does it come in a bottle or do they mix it up? 00:33:21 Speaker 1: Comes in a bottle? I guess they've mixed it before it comes in a bottle like like like that, right, you have to drink all of you will die? 00:33:30 Speaker 3: I live, I think in this neighborhood is I'm just gonna say it. Why not? I can lie. The world's biggest soda shop Galco's Soda Pop Stop, I think is what it's called. 00:33:41 Speaker 1: You're saying biggest, like it's the biggest shop or they sell the biggest version of drinks. 00:33:45 Speaker 3: I think the biggest. Yeah, I don't think size wise. I'm sure somebody else I don't care. But variety. 00:33:51 Speaker 1: What's the weirdest one that you've tried. 00:33:53 Speaker 3: Somebody on this podcast brought me cucumber. Cucumber. It was really refreshing. 00:33:58 Speaker 1: Sound nice. 00:34:00 Speaker 3: That's probably the weirdest soda I've had, at least as far as my weak memory can tell me. What's the weird soda you've had? M Kiwi kwee? That sounds nice. 00:34:11 Speaker 1: It was nice. Do you guys have twisters here? 00:34:13 Speaker 3: The lolly? 00:34:15 Speaker 1: Like the nice ice cream twist? Twisters are like pineapple cream. I'm like, I don't know why I'm doing it with my hand. I'm trying to like shape, to know the shape pineapple cream with lime and raspberry. 00:34:29 Speaker 3: Oh, well, that sounds phenomenal. 00:34:31 Speaker 1: It's incredible. It's very good. 00:34:32 Speaker 3: And it's kind of like in a DNA shape, kind of a double heats. Yes for our science freaks. 00:34:37 Speaker 1: Yeah, the measuring freaks and science freaks. So the ki we drink tasted kind of like the twister. 00:34:45 Speaker 3: Oh that sounds great, And where did you get that? Probably Europe, Europe they're doing it. I feel like the other Europe and I feel like Japan goes big with flavors. Sure they get well, I. 00:34:56 Speaker 1: Think America does. When I moved here. Before I moved here, Fanta to me, was a two flavored drink. 00:35:03 Speaker 3: What flavors were you getting? 00:35:04 Speaker 1: Cherry and orange? 00:35:05 Speaker 3: Oh? 00:35:06 Speaker 1: Okay, now you've got apple, pineapple, strawberry. Disgusting too many? 00:35:13 Speaker 3: They're all, I mean to me, they're all so sweet. 00:35:15 Speaker 1: It all taste the same. 00:35:17 Speaker 3: Right at this point, it's just sugar with a different color. It's kind of a lemon lime situation. Yeah, I guess if I was going to go for a Fanta, i'd choose orange. 00:35:28 Speaker 1: I think classic. I like to go classic. Like, if I'm gonna wear something for like an event, it's gonna be black. 00:35:35 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're not gonna go all out. 00:35:36 Speaker 1: And yeah, I feel safe with the classic choices. 00:35:41 Speaker 3: Right. 00:35:42 Speaker 1: Going back to our shared hair color, black is like. 00:35:46 Speaker 3: It works kind of the only one, right. What colors work for us? 00:35:49 Speaker 1: Black? 00:35:50 Speaker 3: White, white, green. 00:35:52 Speaker 1: I recently discovered that yellow is quite a good look on me. 00:35:56 Speaker 3: I had this for years. For years, I avoided yellow. Yeah, yellow looks great on a pale person. 00:36:02 Speaker 1: Indeed, it's uh with blue eyes as well. I think it really works. 00:36:06 Speaker 3: Clicks clicks. What the colors that we kept pink and wearing? Actually, this is like a ti dye situation. It says I'm going straight to hell. I love this shirt. 00:36:17 Speaker 1: My boyfriend got it for me. I don't usually wear tied eye all right. 00:36:21 Speaker 3: Tight eye is a weird thing because it's now come back. I think everyone is always like, none of us really likes this, but we're wearing it now. 00:36:28 Speaker 1: I grew up in a naked, barefoot family that went to festivals and stuff, and as a result of that, now I get kind of flashbacks to my hippie upbringing when I see tied eye. 00:36:41 Speaker 3: Oh, of course I don't like it. 00:36:43 Speaker 1: I don't like it. 00:36:46 Speaker 3: I now own three different tight eyed pieces of clothing. Never thought it would happen to me. 00:36:50 Speaker 1: Have you ever worn them all together like Seth Rogan mite? 00:36:54 Speaker 3: Oh, that might be interesting. 00:36:55 Speaker 1: Wait, whom I think you of? No, it's not Seth Rogan. 00:36:57 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm trying to picture Seth Rogan in layers. 00:36:59 Speaker 1: What's the guy that it starts the Jonah Hill? Yes? 00:37:03 Speaker 3: Jonah Hill? Does he wear three T shirts? At our time? 00:37:06 Speaker 1: Oh? I didn't know all your pieces were T shirts. I was imagining like a sock shorts. 00:37:11 Speaker 3: Oh no, I don't have. It's all tops, three tops and nothing else, completely naked. Wrong, But I do have three shirts on. That would be my excuse everywhere. 00:37:24 Speaker 1: It's enough. 00:37:26 Speaker 3: How much do you need from me? 00:37:29 Speaker 1: So? 00:37:29 Speaker 3: Wait, are your parents musicians or what's the deal? 00:37:32 Speaker 1: Very much? Not? 00:37:32 Speaker 3: Why are they going to festivals? 00:37:34 Speaker 1: Ah, they just wear hippies. 00:37:37 Speaker 3: Are hippies? 00:37:38 Speaker 1: That was kind of our like summer holiday. Oh that sounds great, it was fun. Were you going to like music festivals or renaissance fair as well as happening? 00:37:48 Speaker 3: No, we just were. 00:37:49 Speaker 1: There's a festival in England called Buddha Field. Okay, my parents are Buddhists. Oh wonderful, or as much Buddhists as that was kind of their chosen religion. That's like more their vibe than anything else. Religions isn't so much of a thing in the UK as it is here. Oh God bless or not in the case maybe, yeah, So we were just going to like hippie festivals and hanging out. I just remember people. I keep seeing memes about like unlocking a core memory. Do you know what I mean by a core memory? 00:38:25 Speaker 3: Well, like some horrible hidden thing in your brain. 00:38:27 Speaker 1: Right exactly, or like a really good thing that you forgot kind of informed to the way that you are as a person. 00:38:32 Speaker 3: And how do you go about unlocking the core memory. 00:38:34 Speaker 1: You don't. I think it just happens, and it just happened right now, so I have to share. 00:38:38 Speaker 3: Oh my god, I can't believe it's happening here. You know, live, we live, We're live. 00:38:46 Speaker 1: All right. We were at a hippie festival. My parents used to sell for context. I grew up on like a small holding farm, so we would have sheep and cows and stuff like. 00:38:58 Speaker 3: That picture chicken run exactly okay. 00:39:00 Speaker 1: But we're not the chickens and they're not trying to escape the. 00:39:05 Speaker 3: Chicken pie. 00:39:06 Speaker 1: No one's making bis no tweeties. 00:39:08 Speaker 3: Stop picturing chicken and one. I'm sorry, please go on. This is so annoying and I want to hear the core memory's coming. 00:39:16 Speaker 1: So we're at a festival. My parents are selling sheepskins from their sheep. They have like a market stall on the ground, making it seem very like, very kind of skanky. It was much more pastoral than I'm making it sound. I'm lying in the sun with my mom. We're selling sheep skins. I maybe eight, and there's a vegan lady that comes out, oh boy, and she has a problem with it, and my mum is trying to explain this is a byproduct, right, and then the hippie vegan is like a byproduct of meat though, and my mom's like, fair point, sure, sure, you're not going to ever be happy with this, and that's just something that's going to have to be agreed to disagree upon. And the vegan lady walks away and we think that's the last that we've seen of her. Ten minutes later, I'm lying down, I have my eyes shut, I'm sunbathing, burning up, I'm flaking off. Suddenly, I'm just suddenly really wet, like there's wet falling on me. And I look up and the vegan lady is sloshing from a big metal can some kind of liquid over the sheepskins Me and my mom. 00:40:30 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 00:40:31 Speaker 1: I grew up watching a lot of like action cartoon creative ways to kill people cartoons, you know, like Itchy and Scratches. So immediately I'm like, can angry vegan, this is petrol and we're all gonna die. So I overreact. I'm yeah, eight nine, ten, maybe maximum. 00:40:54 Speaker 3: She sets fired off. 00:40:55 Speaker 1: That's what I was thinking. I was like, she knows no bounds. I don't know this woman. I so I go into full protect my mum mode, leap up and body slam fully, like like, I can remember the feeling of the impact of kind of toppling her. 00:41:14 Speaker 3: What side was a ten year old is body slamming her? 00:41:21 Speaker 1: Well, she's vegan, so she's slimmed, she's emaciated and furious. And I'm bulky. I was a chubby ish kid, bulky, sunburnt, ready to fucking. 00:41:34 Speaker 3: Full of lamb. 00:41:35 Speaker 1: Yeah, full of byproducts. So yeah, I body slammed her. Wow, I'm like hitting her because I actually do think that she's going to set fire. 00:41:47 Speaker 3: You had every reason to believe. 00:41:49 Speaker 1: I don't know what she's capable of, So I'm slamming her, smacking her and shouting at her, and then she's screaming. 00:41:56 Speaker 3: She's kind of weirdly silent, eily, she's already dead. 00:42:02 Speaker 1: Yeah, her time has come. So that's a cool memory. I don't know why I felt the need to mention it. 00:42:09 Speaker 3: Because it's myself in a great light. I mean, nobody comes out of that clean. 00:42:13 Speaker 1: Sure, do you know what it turned out to be? So it turned out to be vegetable oil. But she's stolen from a nearby cafe. 00:42:21 Speaker 3: So she could have lit you on fire. She goes flammable. Yeah, she's okay. So this woman is thief, yes, rude and now able to be attacked by a ten year a week. She's got nothing going for. She's picking fights at the fair or festival. 00:42:38 Speaker 1: She was jucked out of the festival, but not for the for the vandalism, for the. 00:42:44 Speaker 3: The Oh wow, interesting, So vandalism was cool at the best. 00:42:48 Speaker 1: The vandalism's chill. 00:42:49 Speaker 3: Nobody learned a lesson there, but. 00:42:51 Speaker 1: I learned to fight. It's kind of my villain origin story found on my fists that day. 00:42:57 Speaker 3: The vegan community has probably ejected her. 00:43:00 Speaker 1: Oh this is funny because now I'm a vegan, but not from the fact that I morally have any kind of reason to be right. Just that meet and dairy here messes me up. Oh right, right back at home, I can eat whatever I like, interesting city cheese for every meal, and I'm fine. 00:43:17 Speaker 3: What's happening here? 00:43:18 Speaker 1: Do you want to know? If sure, do you think that it's safe to tell people what's really going on? 00:43:22 Speaker 3: I would love to hear. Finally, finally, so. 00:43:26 Speaker 1: I recorded a I recorded the last record here in May last year, and I hadn't really ever been for an extended period of time in the States. I was here for a couple of months, and two months in I realized I hadn't got my period, and I was doing loads of tests and it wasn't telling me that I was pregnant. But I was like, I this has never happened before. 00:43:48 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 00:43:49 Speaker 1: And then someone was like, have you tried cutting out dairy because it's got kind of hormones in it, right, And I cut out dairy in a couple of days later. 00:43:57 Speaker 3: Period is horrifying. 00:43:58 Speaker 1: So that's scary. So from then I didn't eat dairy. Wow for the hormones. 00:44:05 Speaker 3: Well, I'm gonna keep You have to have milk with my cookies. What are we going to do? There's no real like perfect substitute for with the cookie Yeah, oh yeah, there's nothing but tea. 00:44:17 Speaker 1: I think oat milk and tea is creepy. Yeah, it doesn't rice milk? 00:44:21 Speaker 3: Why all right? 00:44:22 Speaker 1: Pilk? 00:44:24 Speaker 3: None of it quite works. And then there's the kind of original soy milk, which everyone kind of feels like everybody, I feel bad for soy milk. It was out there trying and then everyone's like, oh, we have other. 00:44:39 Speaker 1: It was the Trailblazer. It's fine. 00:44:40 Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess people still must drink it, but it's truly the last It's. 00:44:46 Speaker 1: The last thing on the shelf. I remember like COVID shopping. 00:44:49 Speaker 3: And being like, Okay, I'll take the soy milk. 00:44:51 Speaker 1: I'll take the long grain brown rice and the soy milk. No, ba's matty for me. 00:44:56 Speaker 3: What is it going to take to get you to write a song about your next album? Has to have it? Do I have to break your heart? What do I have to do? I'm do I have to like terrorize you or something? 00:45:04 Speaker 1: Wait? 00:45:04 Speaker 3: What do you need it to be about about me? 00:45:07 Speaker 1: Oh? How do you know that? 00:45:09 Speaker 3: Make a campaign? Well, I should be some allusion. 00:45:11 Speaker 1: To your podcasting. You as a person have filtered into my the way that I've listened. Well, I was listening the whole time I was writing this last record. 00:45:20 Speaker 3: Interesting. Yeah, interesting. 00:45:22 Speaker 1: So you you say that, I now say, but I only realized it recently, Like you make a list of something and then you say that sort of thing, and then you say, I don't know what to tell you. 00:45:33 Speaker 3: I don't know. And now I'll never say those things again because I have looked in the mirror you've taken. That's how you take things from people say you know, you say this a lot, and then you know it's my go Have you ever seen it follows? 00:45:46 Speaker 1: I haven't seen anything. 00:45:47 Speaker 3: Well, I'm not freaking out. I was just asking, don't get cross it now we're in a fight. I knew it's gonna happen. That movie is kind of about transferring things. But I think that movie the way that you have sex with somebody and then they end up with the demon following you or something like a smile. What happens in smile? 00:46:07 Speaker 1: Hmmm. I have a real weird disability where I forget everything that I've ever consumed. Immediately after I finished consuming connects Us, I read a book a week. I couldn't tell you what any books I've ever read. 00:46:21 Speaker 3: Or abud I barely tell you the title and author struggle with that. 00:46:25 Speaker 1: Was the last book you actually remember a tiny bit from Slash, just. 00:46:29 Speaker 3: That I'm not currently reading the book before. The book I'm currently reading was called Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kings. Kings read I read that, and I can tell you it's about foster child growing up in the South and being addicted to opioids. 00:46:55 Speaker 1: It sounds so good, it's actually what else did she write? She wrote the poison with Bible. 00:47:03 Speaker 3: So you're retaining information, So you're blowing what. 00:47:06 Speaker 1: Triggers if I'm like, oh right, if you like to an answer. 00:47:10 Speaker 3: But just like in avoid you can't. 00:47:13 Speaker 1: I be like, uh, the Bible, the Dictionary? He read, neither of them, know of them. 00:47:21 Speaker 3: Those are the two books you've read. 00:47:22 Speaker 1: These are the only ones I care about. 00:47:25 Speaker 3: Uh. Yeah, I have a hard time retaining information. 00:47:27 Speaker 1: I wonder why that is, because I know a lot of people who remember a lot of things. I do you have it? Add? 00:47:34 Speaker 3: I think I might. I think that there is some level of that in my family, and I might. I may be undiagnosed. Although in school I did an okay job, like add never really got in the way of me remembering things. But as I got older, even in college, I started having a harder time retaining information, which may just be because I'm dumb. I mean, we can't rule that out. 00:47:52 Speaker 1: Well, you just remember things that make you that feel like worth your while to be remembering. 00:47:56 Speaker 3: I don't know, right, but what are those things? 00:47:58 Speaker 1: I don't know? Tell me some things you remember? 00:48:00 Speaker 3: I simply can't. I used to tour festivals with my parents and we've sold sheep. That's my memory, No, it's mine. Now what are we talking about? Reading books? And uh I was I was trying. I was making a hard sell on a song about me on your next album. It's a B side. 00:48:21 Speaker 1: I don't believe in B sides. 00:48:22 Speaker 3: You don't believe in B sides. Such things on B side the kind of don't exists anymore. 00:48:28 Speaker 2: I don't. 00:48:29 Speaker 3: It's just like special edition. Yeah, just a longer album or whatever. 00:48:33 Speaker 1: That weren't so good that you want people to associate them with you necessarily. 00:48:39 Speaker 3: But there was a period when B sides were great. Yeah, they were like the I guess they were like the more interesting things. That was like, once you've accessed the band, right now you can listen to something a little bit tasty. Yeah, once now I've got your attention right, A darker coffee. 00:48:53 Speaker 1: I would definitely write a song about you, but I can't promise that it won't come off as like romantic. 00:49:00 Speaker 3: It has to come after everything. 00:49:02 Speaker 1: I write about is kind of like. I write a lot of songs about tender dates that I've been on. 00:49:06 Speaker 3: Oh that's great. 00:49:07 Speaker 1: People that I've loved and lost, so you're gonna have to be in that category. 00:49:11 Speaker 3: I'm happy to be. Yeah, Okay, do you ever feel like I'm going to write a song that's four to the floor blasting techno? Is that ever a temptation for you? 00:49:23 Speaker 1: No? But what I will say is that when I learned how to use garage band, garage. 00:49:28 Speaker 3: Band, Oh I love this. 00:49:31 Speaker 1: I was so bored of just writing on guitar that I learned how to record on garage band and I start. I had a fever at the time. I remember the week I was with my worst ever boyfriend. Okay, he had just taken a bunch of acid and was wilding out in my garden, and I was like, this is a good I've got a good eight hours to spend learning garage band. So I started making just like joke country songs with like really aggressive fake band joe and stuff where you like use the keyboard to type the notes of it's like really aggressive and janky and scratchy. That's as far as I got with like joke that sounds incredible, that feels like a tech no song about you, though. 00:50:13 Speaker 3: There we go. That's all I want in the world. So song about me being your ex boyfriend that people can dance to. It tears up the charts because. 00:50:24 Speaker 1: Don't need that anymore. There's one song we care about. 00:50:29 Speaker 3: I've got Bridge or Fever, Well, I want that to be the No. I'm leaving it up to you. I am not sounds like a bad STI that's another thing that I should contribute to the world. Okay, so we have agreed. This is legal. The listener has heard at some point in your long career. You're gonna surprise everybody like, oh that I remember the podcast. She made good on her word. We can trust her finally, and it'll be like me completing this puzzle. I promise. 00:51:00 Speaker 1: That's lower sixty and six years for both missions. 00:51:04 Speaker 3: Do you ever? You know just what's the word? I don't want to say rock out? But do you ever? Are you ever? Just like on your guitar WAI length. 00:51:14 Speaker 1: I can barely play the guitar to the point of solos. 00:51:17 Speaker 2: No. 00:51:18 Speaker 1: I wrote one solo for this last record, and then when it came to recording it couldn't play it and had to show the recording that I had to someone else. 00:51:28 Speaker 3: They played it. That's rocking out. You're never going to be in Halo. 00:51:33 Speaker 1: I think I'm just lazy. I could try. Yeah, no, I I had an old drummer. She wasn't old. She's just my old. 00:51:42 Speaker 3: Drum ninety six years old, six year old drummers. 00:51:46 Speaker 1: There should be more. 00:51:47 Speaker 3: I know, it'd be amazing. 00:51:48 Speaker 1: I mean probably what Aarin would be gone too much by that point. I don't know. You need to. 00:51:55 Speaker 3: Yeah, you do need some joint strength for that. 00:51:58 Speaker 1: But this trauma was better at guitar than me. She was like, oh on shred I was like, no, no, no. There's a video of Joe Jonas or one of the Jonases trying to do a solo. Have you seen this? I'll send it to you. It's my favorite city of all time. It's amazing. Do you know the videos the account. 00:52:19 Speaker 3: Shreds is that where they like take old like beach Boys, they do like bad, really horrible versions of it. 00:52:26 Speaker 1: So it's basically like a Shreds video, but it's real. It's incredible. It's like he's like wearing all leather. There's like fucking twenty thousand screaming teenagers and he's like. 00:52:39 Speaker 3: Hi, you didn't have to do those I know, I know, why would you do. It's brilliant. It's an ego. 00:52:47 Speaker 1: It's so fantastic. 00:52:48 Speaker 3: Wow, I have to see. 00:52:49 Speaker 1: I love a public failure. And also his face was giving nothing away. If I make a mistake in public, I'm like, like, my whole face shows it more than the actual mistake itself. 00:52:59 Speaker 3: I'm my legs are shaking, and I'm in absolute tears. I've now people know they've seen the real me. Oh do you know what I want to ask you about is the trading journey you've been. Oh yeah, what did you end up getting? You started with a lighter, I did, and you were trading at every show, and I want to know did you hold the audience hostage? You were like, I've got a lighter. Now, somebody give something from this. 00:53:25 Speaker 1: I should have been more militant about it. I think because the experiment that I was basing it off. They did fourteen trades, went from a paper clip to a full house. 00:53:37 Speaker 3: Somebody is, well, liar. 00:53:38 Speaker 1: I think that they didn't have to do a trade every day, so it kind of wasn't so limiting. It's also I don't know about you, but I find it really hard when someone's offering me something to be like, I deserve better in basically every sense of how I mean that, of course, but especially when it's like sweet fans that have come and they've brought like a homemade doll, and I'm like, but the matadogs are worth more monetarily. Okay, I got to be a dick about it, but I definitely it kind of we went like lighter doll with human teeth. It kind of was like going up and up Powerpuff Girls. That was a real that was kind of the top of the mountain. Then it started plateauing to the point where it was like people were kind of bringing like medium like bits of clothing and other dolls. 00:54:27 Speaker 3: We got a. 00:54:29 Speaker 1: Like a scary mind doll with kind of China feet that we called mister Jackson, and actually we ended up keeping him because he was nice. But the final trade was I got a boy genius ripoff merch t shirt. 00:54:43 Speaker 3: Oh it was like a counterfeit. 00:54:45 Speaker 1: Yes, somebody said they would give me a car for and then. 00:54:48 Speaker 3: Didn't what Phoebe Bridgers. 00:54:51 Speaker 1: BB was like, I need to take that off the market. Have my Tesla, but then she didn't show up because she's playing with fucking Taylor Swift and I know you're listening. 00:55:03 Speaker 3: Taylor Phoebe speaking of bridge or fever. 00:55:07 Speaker 1: There we go, the two bridges that I know. 00:55:10 Speaker 3: Okay they okay, they both owe you a car. 00:55:12 Speaker 1: Yes. Now, the final thing that I got was a massive frog candle in the shape of a frog candle. 00:55:20 Speaker 3: I love that. 00:55:21 Speaker 1: I love it too. Does it smell it actually frequently doesn't smell of anything. But I'm going to give it to my nana. Oh, that was kind of the only reason I took it. 00:55:28 Speaker 3: How do you get it? A Is it going to be a huge pain to get it across the ocean? 00:55:32 Speaker 1: It weighs so much? 00:55:33 Speaker 3: I bet it's pure wax? Sure? Is it like thirty pounds? 00:55:37 Speaker 1: I don't know what pounds are? 00:55:38 Speaker 3: Oh, it's. 00:55:41 Speaker 1: Probably Is it the weight of your hips to your shoulder? 00:55:45 Speaker 3: Okay, so it's four thousand kilo. 00:55:49 Speaker 1: It's too stone, it's too stony. Measure things stone in England, I mean can't get. 00:55:54 Speaker 3: With the time. 00:55:56 Speaker 1: Do you know why that is a thing I would like to know. In ancient Scotland, like really long ago, very long ago, they realized that they didn't know how to compare amounts of produce. Okay, so somebody literally chose a random stone and it ended up being fourteen pounds. 00:56:16 Speaker 3: I think, oh my god. 00:56:17 Speaker 1: And then that was a stone that was the unit of measurement. And I'm not joking. It has never changed. 00:56:21 Speaker 3: It could have been any I mean, it could have been four pounds, it. 00:56:24 Speaker 1: Could have been literally anything. We could be I could be saying I'm six billion leaves heavy, but as a result, I say I'm nine stone. 00:56:33 Speaker 3: Wow. Fascinating, so weird. Wow, I'm glad that we kept track of that piece of information. Yeah, that's incredible. Well, I'm going to estimate this and the coke bottle in stone is probably a quarter stone. 00:56:45 Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say, do you say like a quarter stone? Now we say it would be well, a pebble. 00:56:51 Speaker 3: That is not I know that's not true. It such a bad liar. It's not funny. I may be a moron, but I'm not. 00:56:58 Speaker 1: I'm not. 00:57:02 Speaker 3: That was horrible. What do you what do you say instead of quarterstone, he has kilos? Then you go Then you get with the kind. 00:57:09 Speaker 1: Of like we're like ingredients, right right, fascinating. 00:57:12 Speaker 3: Interesting, Well we say feet, which is feels bad too, not for weight, but for measurements. 00:57:19 Speaker 1: Is that because the same thing some Scottish man was how long my foot? 00:57:24 Speaker 3: I think it probably goes back to some I measure with some king's foot or something on a leash. 00:57:29 Speaker 1: King Henry the first, you're googling things. 00:57:31 Speaker 3: It's unreal. 00:57:33 Speaker 1: I know that was googling everything, was saying I try. So there's silence. It means there's no answer that I found. 00:57:39 Speaker 3: That's incredible. So King Henry the first, Wow, So his foot was twelve inches long. That's kind of little interesting little foot. That's yeah, interesting. Well, he was really revealing a lot to himself. 00:57:54 Speaker 1: He was a foot freak, the first recorded foot fetter. I have to name a whole unit of measurement after my feet. 00:58:01 Speaker 3: The first entry on Wiki feet is Henry the first. 00:58:06 Speaker 1: There's a Wiki feet about me. 00:58:07 Speaker 3: You're kidding, I'm not how many pictures do they have? Like honestly so many? 00:58:12 Speaker 1: And do you know what, I'm actually kind of cross about this, And I don't know who is getting these pictures because they're from like, uh, screenshots from Instagram videos that I've done on like my story that is very years. 00:58:27 Speaker 3: So some scary man or woman out there, which give show me a woman with a foot fetish. They're riding into the podcast right now. 00:58:38 Speaker 1: I wish they would. There's literally nothing wrong with having a foot fetish. What is wrong is secretly screen grabbing pictures of someone's feet, putting them on a website, and making the public vote about how ugly they are voting element Yes, there's two. Okay, there's like twenty votes at this point. Maybe we could make this more of a I'll give you a link to my wiki feed. 00:58:58 Speaker 3: To get on wiki feet and vote up vote. 00:59:00 Speaker 1: Yes, these two people have voted ugly, and it makes me so sad. You know, when you're falling asleep and you're thinking about all of the ways that you fail, of course, and all the people that hate you, and all the things you should change but can't. That's one of them. 00:59:13 Speaker 3: Well, we've got it. We can easily shift the tide here. We're on wiki feet. I'm gonna get on it right now. Let's get I've never been to wicked. This is going to throw off my algorithm. 00:59:23 Speaker 1: No, this isn't work. I'm not traversing that. Okay, what's googling my feet and my least favorite part body wise, And I'm so sad that they haven't got like a hands hands voting site or something like that. 00:59:38 Speaker 3: Interesting is I mean there's always by the U R L. Okay, what do I do here? I'm on your thing? How do I vote? Oh? 00:59:46 Speaker 1: My god? Maybe see? 00:59:48 Speaker 3: Look how many there are so many? This is really alarming. How many photos? 00:59:53 Speaker 1: Is it from my deep hop page? 00:59:55 Speaker 3: That's who? And this is probably one person. That's the scariest thing of all, dude. 01:00:00 Speaker 1: Hotel photos and gallery thirty thirty four feet picks upload here. Three pictures were removed from this gallery? Who by who? I don't know how to vote? Here we go rating nice feet click to rate. 01:00:16 Speaker 3: Okay, so I'm going to give you three stars there specific I'm you go on. 01:00:22 Speaker 1: Wait birthplace, United Kingdom, birth date. 01:00:24 Speaker 3: They've got my birth your shoe size and they're never going to put it in put size nineteen, men's. 01:00:30 Speaker 1: Put one foot like King Henry the first. 01:00:34 Speaker 3: Let's I'm going to estimate you're a fifteen and a half us. 01:00:37 Speaker 1: There we go, male or female? 01:00:38 Speaker 3: Who cares you are not? I'm not okay, I'm not creating an account wiki feet. You're not getting me. But I can't dude. 01:00:44 Speaker 1: That was from like last week. 01:00:45 Speaker 3: Oh, I'm not logged in. Well, this is too much well, you're not getting my vote. Listener, go review the podcast. We can always use a good vote. 01:00:53 Speaker 1: Wing to like and subscribe to my wiki seat. 01:00:57 Speaker 3: Well, somebody with a wiki account, Listener, sign up for the stupid website, give a five star review to Fen's Feet. That's the least we can do today. 01:01:07 Speaker 1: It really isn't. Yeah, I don't get paid for my jobs. Might as well, right, have a great feet rating? Sure? 01:01:13 Speaker 3: Okay, we have to play a game. Yes, do you have a game preference? 01:01:16 Speaker 1: Yeah? 01:01:17 Speaker 3: What do you want to play? 01:01:18 Speaker 1: Well, I've noticed that you play Gift or a Curse more than Gift Master. 01:01:23 Speaker 3: It feels like we fall into it a lot. 01:01:24 Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say Gift Master just to like rebalance, right right, But I don't think I'll be that good at it, purely because I really regularly don't know all of the people that you've said and that thing, because I fairly not SA if they were like King Henry the first fucking Taylor Swift and you, then it would be fine. 01:01:48 Speaker 3: So Gift or a Curse then it's a nice safe thing. I mean it's a classic. It's a classic. We love a classic. Okay, I need a number between one and ten from you four. Okay, I'm gonna do some like Calculator. Are you promote recommend sing you've I mean you're one of the sing a false song. 01:02:04 Speaker 1: I get to work on my fucking techno song. 01:02:07 Speaker 3: Yes, I'll be right back. 01:02:08 Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I'm obviously gonna promote my record because that's why I'm here. It's the only reason I'm here. I'm about to go on tour with Christian Lee Hudson. We're doing a North American door probably coming to your city if you live in any of the cities where we're touring. What else recommend Phantom Thread? I've heard it's really good. I just toured with a musician called Naima Boch who I'm recommending to everyone. She's very cool. She has a record called Giant Palm. What else? I've been watching Working Moms, any books, haven't read any Yeah, that's my wow. 01:02:44 Speaker 3: So many great recommendations I have heard most of the I'm sure everybody go seek out all whatever that is most essentially fens album. And again, we all should find a way to give musicians money. I don't know how it works. 01:02:58 Speaker 1: See you're alive, Yeah, gome come to a show. I know that there's like a global cost of living crisis. Yes, so I'm always surprised when people actually do come to a show because it's like twenty five bucks. 01:03:09 Speaker 3: Right then, Yeah, I'm not trying to discourage people from going. 01:03:13 Speaker 1: No, I kind of am. No, I'm not. Definitely. 01:03:16 Speaker 3: You forget how much fun going to a show is. 01:03:18 Speaker 1: Going to a show is great, it's delightful. 01:03:21 Speaker 3: And we have the opportunity now unlike you know two years ago. 01:03:25 Speaker 1: And just because we have the opportunity doesn't mean we should do it. But I am saying you should do it because otherwise I will not have a job. 01:03:32 Speaker 3: I am begging you not to see Fendilla live. Do not go out of your house, never see a concert again. Okay, we're gonna play gift to a curse. Hell yeah, I'm going to name three things. You're gonna tell me if there are a gift or a curse and why, and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong because there are correct answer. 01:03:47 Speaker 1: I'm feeling on a lot of pressure. 01:03:49 Speaker 3: Okay, we'll see how you do. Okay. Number one This is from a listener named Shane, and Shane has suggested gift to a Curse William Shakespeare. 01:04:00 Speaker 1: Oh, Shane, Well, I mean he invented most words. That's important. I saw a debate between someone from Oxford University and I think it was big nasty. The Oxford student was debating that William Shakespeare was more important for culture, and I think it was big nasty saying that Kanye was interesting and it wasn't a serious to may but it was pretty cool. I mean, I hate that we have to study him. I feel like there's other people but gift, gift. I mean, if you say curse, then you are wrong. I don't know what to tell you. 01:04:45 Speaker 3: I don't want to know. 01:04:47 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean he invented language. Also, he was like the first kind of literary stoner, making writing very cool. Sure, he was like a bisexual stoner. What's not cool about that? 01:05:02 Speaker 3: Fenn Fenn, Fenn Fenn. I hate a hear it curse? I mean hell, First of all, he's dead. Against him just from the very beginning, what's up? Well, we're not getting don't don't bring the personal into this. This is a very clinical game, and William Shakespeare is he's been dead for a very long time. Second of all, we don't really know. He's kind of a fraud. We don't know that he really wrote all of that, do we know? I feel like there are theories that he's not quite You're not quite who he we think he is. Isn't that true? Lise is nodding their head. Yeah. I think he may have taken a lot of credit where other people are kind of well. 01:05:46 Speaker 1: Kind of the thing that everyone does nowadays, ghostwriting. You think the musicians written all their songs and. 01:05:52 Speaker 3: We should name names. 01:05:53 Speaker 1: We're not going to. I'll put a list of in the description of the podcast. 01:05:57 Speaker 3: Fam Lily X Martin writes all of Fenderley's songs. 01:06:02 Speaker 1: I can't even read. 01:06:03 Speaker 3: Oh, what was I going to say? No? Curse? Okay, William Shakespeare is game. I was in the tempest in fifth grade. M oh kind of kickstart my show business career. I was a trinkulow clown. I did an incredible choge are you? But I haven't worked with Shakespeare since Curse, So. 01:06:24 Speaker 1: You've got your own kind of baggage and bitterness Again. 01:06:30 Speaker 3: I get to what I said was I get to bring the personal the guest game. 01:06:35 Speaker 1: I'm in your house, under your weird outside. 01:06:37 Speaker 3: You're with my birds, so you will play by my rules. Okay, so zero so far. That's too bad. 01:06:43 Speaker 1: Well, I'm the kind of person that if I'm already losing, I'm like, fuck this, you're gonna burn it down. I'm throwing my prams, my prams out of the toys. 01:06:51 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay. Number two. This is from somebody named Beth Gift. You're a curse and this is an interesting one for you. Actually, people that have lived broad slash traveled for a year and then make that the basis of their entire personality for the next twenty years. 01:07:08 Speaker 1: I mean, comedically, it's a gift. I love re meeting a friend who's had a life changing event happen and just watching them try to hold together the fractured new personality that they've made and stop any cracks showing as to who they used to be. Sure, it's a great joy for me. I have friends that have been abroad and then kind of adopt the accent or start saying things like, how do you say because they've been in Italy or whatever. 01:07:40 Speaker 3: It's amazing. 01:07:40 Speaker 1: I have a friend who lapsed, I'm doing air quotes, lapsed into Italian recently because they've a holiday. Incredible, it's so satisfying. 01:07:50 Speaker 3: It's brilliant. Do you know anybody that ever drags americanisms into their life? 01:07:55 Speaker 1: Huh No. But when I was on tour back in England, people kept being like, you sound more American, And then when I came back to my New York friends, they were like, you sound more English. I don't know. Everyone needs to let go of the idea that we don't slightly adopt little bits of well we've been But if I started, I mean, I have started wearing cowboy boots. I was going to say, if I started wearing cowboy boots and a cowboy hat, then people can say something. But I do do that, and I wish no one would say anything about it. 01:08:23 Speaker 3: That'll be your luck. 01:08:25 Speaker 1: I think it's a gift just because it's funny. I think anything funny is a gift. 01:08:30 Speaker 3: You're right, I love this. I mean, the best one that ever happened to me was I knew someone who had truly been out of the country for three months and said that they couldn't break the habit of writing their dates like other countries right their day. How often are they writing? They probably they take to do it one time. How did they pick up that behavior? 01:08:53 Speaker 1: Okay, I will say. When I moved from the UK in September this last September, for the first month, I found it very hard to know which direction to look when crossing a road. I quickly learned for survival reasons. Of course, anything that you need to know, you will quickly know. But it's never hard to go back to how you learn it initially. Do you know what I mean? 01:09:16 Speaker 2: Right? 01:09:16 Speaker 3: If there's some level of threat involved, brain is like. 01:09:19 Speaker 1: No one's going to hit you with a car if you've put the month before the day. 01:09:24 Speaker 3: But maybe from maybe days were very important to this one. 01:09:28 Speaker 1: She was. 01:09:28 Speaker 3: She loved scheduling. Maybe that's what was going on. I don't know, but I mean absolutely a gift. We all have them in our lives. We all get to kind of quietly talk about them with our friends and just think you lose her, You poor loser. 01:09:42 Speaker 1: Brilliant loser, you well traveled hand loser. 01:09:48 Speaker 3: Okay, well, excellently done. You've got one out of two so far, so you've got one left to maybe kind of redeem yourself. Sure, finally a number three. This is from someone named James. Give her a curse. iPhone live photos. 01:10:03 Speaker 1: Hmmm, I love them. It's a tiny video. It's like the Harry Potter photos. Sure, and we can't talk about Harry Peter anymore. 01:10:12 Speaker 3: There's some baggage at the. 01:10:14 Speaker 1: Yeah, such a shame when things that you used to love you absolutely hate now. 01:10:20 Speaker 3: Just shouldn't shouldn't have a problem. 01:10:22 Speaker 1: And the fact that she doubled down, she doubled down, everyone gave her the opportunity to be like, you didn't mean that, did you. That just came out wrong, And she was like, oh no, I a one hundred. 01:10:34 Speaker 3: Actually I have a worse opinion. 01:10:36 Speaker 1: Worse than I seem even now. 01:10:39 Speaker 3: I'm just a mean, cruel person. Welcome. I mean live iPhone photos. 01:10:46 Speaker 1: It's cool because my face is very expressive in ways that I don't know. It is like my eyebrows move a lot. My mouth doesn't just move up and down, it moves like side to side. I've got a lot of there's a lot of information right right, So when a photo is taken, just one tiny bit of my face needs to be wrong for me to look completely insane. So I like a live photo. I can just slowly scrub around until my face looks like marginally all right. What I will say about live iPhone photos, though, is it seems like the frame that they automatically choose for you is the only one that's ever in focus. You're like interesting, much better, and then it's like, okay, we've selected your blurry awful photo where you kind of look good, but like. 01:11:29 Speaker 3: As if you were in your glasses and you can't select halfway through it. Sure so you think gift. Yeah, of course I love them. There's so much we're not using them often enough. No, I mean, the only person I ever really get live photos from is my mom, and it's because she's doing them by mistake. Sure she accidentally hit audio. They have audio, which is such a fun surprise from my phone is on complete silence all the time. But when I've won a little treat, I'll turn on the right right And I also love turning on the audio and typing. It feels like I turned on the lights and I'm able to see the typewriter. Oh you never hear that noise. 01:12:04 Speaker 1: That's nice. 01:12:04 Speaker 3: That's a little clique clique, But that's just a treat. 01:12:07 Speaker 1: I've been on buses with people that have the typing. It's just infuriated. But for a little treat sometimes, Sure, do it feel like fucking Shakespeare. 01:12:16 Speaker 3: But I love the live photo. I think that should just be a permanent feature that shouldn't be able to be turned off. 01:12:21 Speaker 1: It should always be if you're ever sending a nude, it should be compulsory for it to be live. Absolutely, because you get in an audio, you get a little bit of the context, right, so they're not perfectly post sure reality. 01:12:36 Speaker 3: We're getting reality touched up. 01:12:38 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know it hasn't been like photoshop. 01:12:41 Speaker 3: We need to verify our nudes with a live photo. 01:12:45 Speaker 1: Thank you. 01:12:45 Speaker 3: Somebody had to say it. You've got two out of three. That's really good for me, not bad. You've listened to a lot of the podcasts and didn't get a perfect score. 01:12:53 Speaker 1: Also, now it's good to know that when I listen to it, just before you reveal that someone's got the answer wrong. I've always wondered what your face does? Your eyes dim a little, like a slight betrayal, but like you expected it to happen, like ah, the inevitable failure of someone I thought might make me woud. 01:13:16 Speaker 3: I thought we had things in common, another friend I don't get to have. No, you did decently, a nice sixty six percent or whatever. The hell it is. Okay, well, let's answer our listener question. 01:13:29 Speaker 1: Hellia. 01:13:29 Speaker 3: This is called I Said No Emails. It is the final segment of the podcast. People write into I Said No Gifts at gmail dot com. Occasionally they get on Instagram and try it, and I say, please send it to the email. I can't copy this into the doc. You gotta send it to the email. They're asking questions the listeners. I'm trying to be a little bit nicer. They're trying. They're certainly trying, and that's why they're reaching out for help. Pathetic and we're going to try to help somebody. Will you help me? 01:13:55 Speaker 1: Yeah? 01:13:56 Speaker 3: Okay, let's get in here. This is dearest Bridger and beautiful guest. So sweet you. What do I get my mother in law for her birthday? I cannot stand her and she says mean things to me. For example, at Christmas after my after my father died, she said, losing a parent isn't like losing a spouse. She's widowed. For your information, Okay, interesting, I'm a teacher and she called me selfish for getting the COVID vaccine as soon as it was made available to teachers. Okay. She frequently needles my partner into doing house projects at her house, thus infringing on our limited time together due to our work schedules. However, I love my partner and I put up with her as an act of love, which means I have to get her a present. She likes Martini's Florida. We live in New York, pitbull capitalized, and we're talking about musician, pitbull and lawn ornaments. Respect lawn ornaments. Don't you put on your grass decorations flamingos, gnomes. 01:15:01 Speaker 1: Pit bulls. 01:15:04 Speaker 3: I've already got my aunts, respectfully. Stephanie, Stephanie's mother in law, is trying, obviously, she wants to connect with Stephanie, and she's looking for every inn she's you know, she's trying to connect on it having someone in their life dead, and she's obviously failing. 01:15:21 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't even think she's trying. She sounds like a bad old bitch. 01:15:25 Speaker 3: This lady. 01:15:26 Speaker 1: Not bad in a good way. 01:15:29 Speaker 3: Okay, Fenn, well what do you think then? 01:15:31 Speaker 1: All right, I'm actually a brilliant gift giver. Okay, well let's hear what excellent at it? Everyone gets what you got, and that's just it is. Do you know it's a piggy bank. 01:15:41 Speaker 3: It's a coin, right, and I'm gonna fill this with change and then take it to get. 01:15:44 Speaker 1: Your leaking roof fixed. If has that been solved yet, you're flooded. 01:15:47 Speaker 3: Well, this hasn't rained since we got it fixed, and now I have to wait nine months for my life to fall apart. I'll fill up with water and dump it in, all right, Yeah, this lady sounds awful. So lawn ornaments and Pitbull. My idiot first thought is get a custom gnome of Pitbull. Oh my god. That if he's not already selling that on tour, he's got a revenue stream he's not. 01:16:09 Speaker 1: I feel stupid that I gave him that idea, now I know, but that. 01:16:13 Speaker 3: Just that grounds for a last suit. It's hard to say. 01:16:14 Speaker 1: I hope. 01:16:15 Speaker 3: So I love to sue and to sup Pitbull, to see him in court. What a place to see Pitbull? 01:16:21 Speaker 1: What would he wear? 01:16:22 Speaker 3: He would probably wear? I don't think he takes the sunglasses off, No, why should he? So he's got those, and then he'd look good in court. I think he'd probably wear a purple. He seems like the kind of guy who's like, why would I wear black? When I can wear Teal. Right, I've got the money for Teal. Sure, I've got Teal money. 01:16:39 Speaker 1: Meanwhile, me and my classic black because nothing goes in my fucking skin color. Yeah, I go for like a pit bull gnome or I mean you said Martini's in Florida, martiniz and Florida, like a set of like Florida souvenir Martini glasses or something. I'm just going for the obvious things. But maybe a reality check, maybe like hidden within this gift that is clearly you've put a lot of time and effort into it, more time and effort than she's put into making you feel happy and comfortable. Just put a little note in being like you're nothing but a. 01:17:11 Speaker 3: Bad old bitch and you change your ways. I think those are all excellent gifts. I mean she's obviously, I mean the mother in law, as I said, is trying, has a good heart and is just struggling, just struggling, and this unfair daughter in law is attacking her on a podcast. So first of all, one gift, Stepanie can give hers an apology. Maybe that's a form of a trip to Florida to see pitball in Miami, dude, But it's just the two of them, so they can bond. Meanwhile, her husband's at home redecorating because she's obviously working on her house turning up full pitball. 01:17:50 Speaker 1: So when she returns, dude, that would be I'm obsessed with the only the house renovation part of Queeraye because I am for the day when they get it wrong where they're like, welcome to your new pitbull themed mansion. 01:18:09 Speaker 3: Then the first is just trapped, just like starts crying, You've ruined my life. 01:18:17 Speaker 1: Well, you've got some good ideas there. 01:18:18 Speaker 3: I think that, Wow, Stephanie. Stephanie got more than she bargained for. She got so many gift ideas. And meanwhile, get your mother in law listening to this podcast, Stephanie, so she can find out what a horrible daughter in law you are and then she'll feel justified in attacking you about losing a family member. Stephanie. I hope that this trip to Florida heels every trip to Florida here. 01:18:44 Speaker 1: I've never been, but I really want to go now. 01:18:47 Speaker 3: It's a place, It's a place in the United States. We love our Florida listener. I love my international fans. It's fun that to imagine a Florida listener as an international fan that gives them an exotic. 01:19:02 Speaker 1: Because once I went on holiday to Iceland and my heart's still really there. 01:19:10 Speaker 3: Ah fan, we answered it perfectly perfectly, and now I'm here with my coke bottle. I can't wait to have this in my office decorating. I'll probably use it to bay a water out. You should fill it with sprite or so interesting. Would be kind of a strange choice. Whe I'm drinking the sprite out of a coke bottle, you would really look like. 01:19:29 Speaker 1: An elf if you've got a big straw and your boyfriend like you trunk in the day. This is a regular coke bottle. 01:19:38 Speaker 3: I'm so happy to have it, and I'm so happy we're here. What a thrill. 01:19:42 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having this is genuinely the best thing that could have happened to me. Podcast wise. Honestly, I have never skipped an episode and I will listen to this episode two. 01:19:53 Speaker 3: This has been such a wonderful time, and the listener again, go listen to Fenn and see You're live. There's some controversy there. We don't know if we're going to see concerts or not, but I guess we're leading pro Thank you for being here, thank you for having me listener. The podcast is simply over. It's uh, you're not going to hear that much more audio unless you stay for the credits, which you probably should. You owe me that much you owe yourself. You'll probably learn something in the credits, I imagine. Please move on with your day. I've got to do it the same with mine. I love you, goodbye, I said, no Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend Analise Nilson, and it's beautifully mixed by Leona Squilatchi. And we couldn't do it without our guest booker, Patrick Kottner. The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle worker Amy Man. You must follow the show on Instagram. At I said no gifts. I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts. 01:21:05 Speaker 2: But I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're I guess to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said no guests your own presences presents enough, and I already had too much stuff. 01:21:31 Speaker 1: So how do you dare to surbey me?