1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,080 Speaker 1: We don't go find our purpose. Find yourself and there's 2 00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:05,640 Speaker 1: your purpose. So if you're in that great era saying 3 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,320 Speaker 1: I don't know what I want to do, that's because 4 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:18,799 Speaker 1: you have not yet to find you. 5 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, Emily Abadi here, you are listening to another 6 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 2: installment of Hurdle Moment from Hurdle. 7 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 3: A wellness focused podcast. 8 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 2: Reconnect with everyone from your favorite athletes to top experts 9 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 2: and industry CEOs about their highest hies, toughest moments, and 10 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:42,360 Speaker 2: everything in between. We all go through hurdles in life, 11 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,239 Speaker 2: and my goal through these discussions is to empower you 12 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 2: to better navigate yours and move with intentions so that 13 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 2: you can stride towards your own big potential and of 14 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 2: course have some fun along the way. Today I am 15 00:00:56,560 --> 00:01:00,960 Speaker 2: sitting down with doctor Cheyenne Brian. She has a psychology expert, 16 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 2: a renowned life coach, and we are talking all about 17 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 2: how to go after your big goals. This episode is 18 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 2: repurposed from last year, but I would argue perfectly timed 19 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:16,399 Speaker 2: with the new year on deck. We discuss how to 20 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 2: set smart goals and the important step you need to 21 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:23,960 Speaker 2: take before you even put pen to paper on concepting 22 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:28,560 Speaker 2: those goals, plus the nitty gritty about the steps on 23 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:32,920 Speaker 2: the way. How can you actually succeed at going after 24 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:35,560 Speaker 2: the things that you want? How should you be breaking 25 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:39,039 Speaker 2: it down to make your goals a reality. I really 26 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:42,240 Speaker 2: appreciate so much of her wisdom and perspective on this. 27 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 2: I could listen to doctor Brian talk forever and I 28 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:50,800 Speaker 2: love her philosophy about the importance of celebrating yourself along 29 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 2: the way to going after what you want. 30 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,400 Speaker 3: And I also really loved her. 31 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 2: Thoughts on surrounding yourself with people that support you in 32 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 2: whatever it is that after I know it's so so 33 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 2: important to make sure you fill up your own cup 34 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,600 Speaker 2: before giving to others, and that the others that you 35 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:11,079 Speaker 2: are giving to really appreciate your efforts. 36 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 3: Make sure you're following along with Hurdle. 37 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 2: Over at Hurdle Podcasts, I'm over at Emily Bodie. 38 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 3: Last call out. 39 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,920 Speaker 2: If you feel motivated by today's episode, check out the 40 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 2: goal setting workshop that we have on deck for January fourth. 41 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 2: Blink is in the show notes. With that, let's get 42 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 2: to it. Let's get to hurdling. 43 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:34,240 Speaker 3: Today. 44 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 2: I am sitting down with doctor Cheyenne Bryant. She's a 45 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,680 Speaker 2: doctor of psychology and a life coach. 46 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 1: How you do today, I'm doing amazing. Thank you for 47 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 1: having me on. I'm excited to be here and I'm 48 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,680 Speaker 1: ready to give a give out some tips and some 49 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:52,360 Speaker 1: tools on how folks cannot just you know, accomplish, but 50 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 1: set goals and for some people, believe it or not, 51 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,360 Speaker 1: I have a lot of clients that come to session 52 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,440 Speaker 1: and they say, I don't know what I want to do. 53 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,680 Speaker 1: I don't know who I am right. So it's more 54 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,959 Speaker 1: than just like, like, you got goals, set it, let's 55 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:10,639 Speaker 1: go get it. It's also processing what goals do you want? Right? 56 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 1: It's okay to not know what you want. It's okay 57 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:15,760 Speaker 1: to not have any goals because you're in that great 58 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,600 Speaker 1: area space of like, I'm just figuring out right now, 59 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:21,920 Speaker 1: and so my goal is to figure out what my 60 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 1: goals are. And I think people, especially women, need to 61 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: know that that is also a safe space, and that 62 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,960 Speaker 1: is also a space that's perfectly okay to be in 63 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 1: because you're in that blank plateauo space where it's needed 64 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 1: for you to empty out right and then say I 65 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 1: emptied out everything I thought I wanted, all the ideologies 66 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 1: that I thought life would be as we all think 67 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,160 Speaker 1: life's going to be this way and we're going, holy moly, 68 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 1: that's not how it turned out. And then just have 69 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 1: someone that helps you pick your own brain, process your 70 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 1: heart space, and put it all out and say I 71 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 1: want this, I don't want this, and now let's create. 72 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 2: Wow, you're jumping right into it. I love this about you. 73 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,840 Speaker 2: We're still getting to know each other. I before we 74 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 2: really dive straight into the tips and tricks that we're 75 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 2: going to offer the hurdlers today, give us a little 76 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:18,160 Speaker 2: bit of intel on your background and how you got 77 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,240 Speaker 2: into this line of work. When you were a little girl, 78 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,359 Speaker 2: did you think, hmm, I want to be a psychologist? 79 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 1: You know, Okay, hurdlers And I love that. You know, 80 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 1: I always, since a little girl, have been big on 81 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 1: making good decisions. And it's something that my best friend 82 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,480 Speaker 1: brought to me. Brought to my attention again actually a 83 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:44,360 Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago. I am dating, and so I 84 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 1: get to cutting off people when I'm dating, and she goes, 85 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:50,360 Speaker 1: you know what it is. She goes, you are big 86 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 1: on good decision making, and she goes, You've always been 87 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:56,040 Speaker 1: like that since we've been kids, because we've been best 88 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 1: friend since we were like, you know, fourteen, and I'm like, 89 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:00,720 Speaker 1: you know what, Yeah, you're right. And so just as 90 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:04,920 Speaker 1: a kid, I've always been big on good decision making right, 91 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 1: and good decision making doesn't mean that you're always coming 92 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 1: out the winner. It doesn't mean that you're always coming 93 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 1: out better than someone else. It just means that you 94 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:18,839 Speaker 1: get the best experience possible and that you are able 95 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 1: to either leverage that experience from your decision, leverage to 96 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:26,040 Speaker 1: go in the direction you want to go in right 97 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 1: talking about goals, or you are able to obtain the 98 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 1: intent of that decision. And so again, my definition of 99 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,080 Speaker 1: good decision making based on the results that I want 100 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 1: to receive are going to be different than anyone else's 101 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:45,719 Speaker 1: because the results that we desire are different. And so 102 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:47,240 Speaker 1: for me, you know, as a young ger, I just 103 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 1: always been big on that. And I went to school 104 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,880 Speaker 1: really first saying I'm going to law school because I 105 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:53,840 Speaker 1: know I'd be really good. I'm good with creating a 106 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 1: narrative and telling a story and people seeing it and 107 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 1: really grabbing people their attention and bringing them into my 108 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,680 Speaker 1: story and my narrative my world. But am I really 109 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 1: changing lives? Am I really saving lives. Am I really 110 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:11,839 Speaker 1: having a legacy impact on people and not saying that 111 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 1: attorneys can't have that right, But for the level that 112 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 1: I wanted to have the impact on folks lives, it 113 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 1: didn't do it for me. And then as soon as 114 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,920 Speaker 1: I went to that blank space, I was saying, it's 115 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 1: okay for us to be in, which is actually the 116 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:29,720 Speaker 1: magical space, and we'll get into that. That's where God 117 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 1: was able to have my full attention. He goes, Okay, 118 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,919 Speaker 1: you went blank on me. You emptied out all of 119 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 1: your broken ideologies and all of these ideas you thought 120 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 1: you'd have. Now I can really come and penetrate you. 121 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,640 Speaker 1: And so he started to show me my broken pieces 122 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 1: and I was like oh. And then he started to 123 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:49,040 Speaker 1: give me these different tools on how to make peace 124 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 1: from my broken pieces, and he goes, so, you know, 125 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:52,920 Speaker 1: what's up? 126 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:53,479 Speaker 3: What do you want? 127 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 1: And I'm like, I want everybody who I come in 128 00:06:55,800 --> 00:07:00,080 Speaker 1: contact with to feel what I call God's peace. They 129 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 1: can call it whatever they want, as long as the 130 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 1: end goal is peace. For me, it's God's peace. I 131 00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:07,480 Speaker 1: want them to have that in their world because we 132 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 1: are all broken in some way, and if we can 133 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:13,640 Speaker 1: have a shift in perception, which is America. I call 134 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 1: America just a shift in perception. We can take our 135 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 1: broken pieces which we perceive to be broken, and then 136 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 1: we can find the peace out of it. And I go, well, 137 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 1: I got to go into the field that makes sense 138 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 1: for me, and that would be the study of behavior 139 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 1: and people and help them understand their self and help 140 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:33,120 Speaker 1: them have a shift of perception so that they can 141 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 1: see their world in a way that would create the 142 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 1: experience that they want for themselves first and then they 143 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 1: can give that to other people. And what the beautiful 144 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: thing about that was that God gave me the experience 145 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 1: of seeing my brokenness and allowed me to create right 146 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 1: the experience I want for myself. And so that I 147 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 1: am you know, my academics and all that stuff is 148 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:04,240 Speaker 1: pretty cool, but I am qualified by my brokenness and 149 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 1: my pain that I fuse with other people. I am 150 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,680 Speaker 1: qualified by the peace that I brought and I was 151 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 1: able to create from that. And so I'm not just 152 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:15,360 Speaker 1: speaking from you know, credentials and accolades. And don't get 153 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 1: me wrong, I love on pro education. I think it's amazing. 154 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:23,200 Speaker 1: But I do find that my experiences and my brokenness 155 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 1: and me having to been there, and the empathy versus 156 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 1: sympathy I can give my clients is where we fuse 157 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 1: and it's where I tend to heal and help them 158 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,439 Speaker 1: the most. And they say it, they say, doc when 159 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:38,280 Speaker 1: you self disclosed and you share your stories with us, 160 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:42,240 Speaker 1: which most therapists and coaches don't. More therapists don't, coaches 161 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 1: do more, which is what I am. They're like, that 162 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:48,560 Speaker 1: changes my life, That makes me feel more more equal 163 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,680 Speaker 1: eye to eye to you and lets me know that 164 00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:54,840 Speaker 1: you're human and I'm able to relate more. And that's 165 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,959 Speaker 1: that's that's what I want. I want to say, look 166 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,120 Speaker 1: at me, I'm all, I'm kookie too, and you know 167 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 1: I'm crazy too. And on my screws, I left them 168 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:05,200 Speaker 1: over there somewhere. I can't find them, and I don't 169 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,040 Speaker 1: want to put them on today. But I'm going to 170 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,360 Speaker 1: have the most amazing fag of this day with some 171 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:13,319 Speaker 1: screws off and yeah, okay, it's okay. 172 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah. And I think I mean what you're talking 173 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:15,439 Speaker 3: about here. 174 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:19,440 Speaker 2: Modeling that behavior is so important to cultivate that safe space. 175 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 2: And I also love what you were talking about when 176 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 2: you talked about shifting that perspective, which will get us here, 177 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,720 Speaker 2: lead us into this conversation about goal setting. 178 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,760 Speaker 3: You set it right off the bat, right after I introduced. 179 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:35,199 Speaker 2: You that a huge issue that many have with goal 180 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 2: setting is that in order to set goals, you have 181 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,240 Speaker 2: to start first with knowing who you are and what 182 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 2: it is that you want and. 183 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 3: Not having judgment. 184 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 2: Maybe if you can't really articulate that all that well 185 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 2: right from the get. 186 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:53,960 Speaker 1: Go, absolutely and that and that is the safe space. 187 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,800 Speaker 1: So the safe space is exactly, you know what, I 188 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:02,960 Speaker 1: feel safe enough to understand that I don't know who 189 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,680 Speaker 1: I am, I don't know what I want, and understand 190 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 1: that not everyone feels safe telling their buddies that, and 191 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 1: then me go further telling their you know, their coach 192 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:17,079 Speaker 1: or their therapist. Unfortunately, that's where the safe haven is. 193 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 1: I tell my clients when you come in here, I 194 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 1: have a commitment form or an agreement forum that says 195 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:26,960 Speaker 1: that there's three commitments. It's to be completely wide open 196 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:30,439 Speaker 1: and row right, to be as honest as you can 197 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,680 Speaker 1: within your capacity so we can only heal the truth, 198 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:38,160 Speaker 1: and to commit to doing the work and just be authentic. Right. 199 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,960 Speaker 1: And so I think it's more important for people to 200 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 1: understand that you don't have to know what freaking goals 201 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:51,600 Speaker 1: you have, and when you try to create them from 202 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 1: the space of I just have to have goals. I 203 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,240 Speaker 1: just have to have something that I want to do. 204 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,120 Speaker 1: I have to have these three goals and it just 205 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,960 Speaker 1: has to be there before I can even do anything. 206 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:05,320 Speaker 1: You create resistance. You're also standing on a foundation that's 207 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:08,360 Speaker 1: not authentically you. And so what happens is you start 208 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:12,400 Speaker 1: to process and create these goals, and what happened you 209 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 1: get bored because it's not you. And I always tell people, 210 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:19,560 Speaker 1: we don't go find our purpose, find yourself, and there's 211 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 1: your purpose. So if you're in that gray area saying 212 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:23,800 Speaker 1: I don't know what I want to do, that's because 213 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 1: you have not yet to find you. So that means 214 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 1: what you need to do in that space is create 215 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,680 Speaker 1: this relationship with you. But it has to be a 216 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:35,040 Speaker 1: real relationship, like who are you really? Right? What really 217 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,080 Speaker 1: do you like? I don't care if it's quirky, if 218 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,600 Speaker 1: it's against your family values, if it's outside of your 219 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 1: friendship norm if it's outside of your community societal norms, No, 220 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:48,720 Speaker 1: who are you? And really love that person and start 221 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,960 Speaker 1: to create this unconditional love for who you are, and 222 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 1: I promise like magic, I'm talking about God's speed. As 223 00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 1: you start to know who you are and of whatever 224 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:04,200 Speaker 1: the heck comes up as you're you know as you 225 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:09,240 Speaker 1: are consistently or should I say paralleling shifting or changing 226 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,680 Speaker 1: what you don't like about yourself. All of a sudden, 227 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,319 Speaker 1: you know what you love, You know who you want 228 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:17,760 Speaker 1: to be, and then your goals are what gets you 229 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 1: to where you want to be and who you want 230 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,440 Speaker 1: to be. Those things are easy to create once you 231 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:24,960 Speaker 1: know who you are. But be okay with saying another 232 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,120 Speaker 1: thing is I don't know. Another thing is you can 233 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:30,920 Speaker 1: know who you are for forty years, okay, forty years. 234 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:32,920 Speaker 1: This is who I've been, This is what I've stood on, 235 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 1: this is who I'm proud I have been proud to be. 236 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: And now I hit forty forty five or fifty, and 237 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,840 Speaker 1: I don't know who the hell I am because that 238 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 1: person I used to be I really don't want to 239 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:44,839 Speaker 1: be anymore. I don't have any interest in any of 240 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 1: those things anymore. And so don't go into a dark space. 241 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: Don't go in, don't turn the lights off and go, 242 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I don't know and I'm fifty and 243 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,480 Speaker 1: I should know. And I'm forty five, and all of 244 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 1: a sudden I had it all together, and I don't 245 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,079 Speaker 1: guess what. Welcome to life. It is all going to 246 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:02,120 Speaker 1: fall apart few times if it hasn't already for you 247 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:03,800 Speaker 1: and you just didn't know that's what was going on. 248 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:07,640 Speaker 1: But let it fall apart. Be excited about the fall apart, 249 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,160 Speaker 1: because then you get to create and build. Anything that 250 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:13,560 Speaker 1: falls apart, you have the opportunity to build, and you 251 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,320 Speaker 1: get to pick the material like a home that you 252 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,439 Speaker 1: want to build with. You get to interior decorate your 253 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:22,600 Speaker 1: insize of who you want to be again. Perception, how 254 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 1: do you perceive your breaking down? Are you perceiving it 255 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:32,320 Speaker 1: as the ultimate opportunity to build up everything you've always wanted? Right? 256 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,680 Speaker 1: Are you perceiving it as, oh my god, I'm falling 257 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:37,640 Speaker 1: apart and I won't know where to go from here? 258 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,920 Speaker 1: When the you know the former answer, which is really 259 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:45,839 Speaker 1: the truth. We're creators and like anything, you got to 260 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,440 Speaker 1: build down, but you have to tear apart. I don't 261 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,640 Speaker 1: care if you have a beautiful, huge home and you 262 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:52,680 Speaker 1: want to do new flooring, you got to tear that 263 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:55,760 Speaker 1: wood up. But when that wood is being torn up, 264 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,280 Speaker 1: and you know this beautiful flooring that you picked out 265 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:01,720 Speaker 1: is going in there, this marble so granted flooring. You're like, 266 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,120 Speaker 1: can we tear this thing up quicker? You can't wait? 267 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,559 Speaker 1: And that should be not shit. That is a better 268 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:11,240 Speaker 1: perspective to have that will give you the best experience 269 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,720 Speaker 1: of your world. Is like, oh, this thing has fallen apart. 270 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:15,520 Speaker 1: That means I get to build something. 271 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:19,320 Speaker 2: I love the idea of the fact that you may 272 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,680 Speaker 2: have a very strong sense of self for a while, 273 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,200 Speaker 2: but something could happen to shake that and it's okay 274 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,840 Speaker 2: to do a little bit of that self inquiry and 275 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,520 Speaker 2: kind of come back to start as long as you 276 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 2: have that perspective that what lies ahead of you could 277 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:37,000 Speaker 2: also be just as beautiful as what you knew before. 278 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,960 Speaker 2: I also think it's really important here to establish that 279 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 2: oftentimes if we don't know ourselves holy or we're not 280 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,000 Speaker 2: really understanding, you know, who it is that we are 281 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,080 Speaker 2: when we walk out the door in the morning, it 282 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,920 Speaker 2: can lead to us like establishing goals that actually have 283 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,720 Speaker 2: nothing to do with our own personal interests. Something I 284 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,200 Speaker 2: talked a lot about in the show a few years 285 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 2: back was that in finding and learning a lot about myself. 286 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 2: Got really comfortable and excited about solo travel, right. And 287 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 2: I think that when you hear someone else is really 288 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 2: excited about this thing, it's easy to get like wrapped 289 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 2: up in that. And I would have listeners of the 290 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,880 Speaker 2: show that would go on their own solo travel and 291 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,200 Speaker 2: I could tell by the way that they were sending 292 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:21,720 Speaker 2: me constant photos of it, dming with me during dinner. 293 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 2: My question to them and my challenge at times, was hey, 294 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:29,520 Speaker 2: take this time to be with yourself, like ask yourself, 295 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 2: like what is it from this experience that you want? 296 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,240 Speaker 3: Who are you right now? 297 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 2: And value that time because don't do something just because 298 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,080 Speaker 2: you saw that I did it. Do something because you 299 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 2: you want to do it. 300 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,760 Speaker 1: That was such great advice. I am the Otis of seven. 301 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 1: I always tell my my siblings, especially my brother Shane. 302 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:54,640 Speaker 1: I say, you know, baby, we're living you depart. I say, baby, listen, 303 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 1: you know I have high expectations. We've came from the 304 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 1: inner city. You know. I was the first to go 305 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:05,040 Speaker 1: to college, you know, as far as generational and go 306 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:08,800 Speaker 1: all the way obviously to my doctorate level. And my 307 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:12,920 Speaker 1: brother's not into the education piece. He's more entrepreneurial, and 308 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:14,920 Speaker 1: he does his thing and he's killing it in his world. 309 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 1: But I say, I've always told me, you know, I 310 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:21,120 Speaker 1: want you to use and look at me as my 311 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 1: drive and my work ethic and me being a powerhouse 312 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,600 Speaker 1: and whatever else you've see me. And I want you 313 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:31,120 Speaker 1: to grab the things that you really love right, implement 314 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:34,360 Speaker 1: them into your world. If they work, keep them if 315 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,840 Speaker 1: they don't, rid them, and I won't be offended. I 316 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 1: want you to be a rock star, like you just said, 317 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,320 Speaker 1: in your own authentic way, and I don't want you 318 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,840 Speaker 1: to feel like you have to do as I do 319 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,080 Speaker 1: for me to feel as though you admire me. I 320 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:53,280 Speaker 1: want you to pick the things from me and take them, 321 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,400 Speaker 1: and the things even advice I tell them that I 322 00:16:55,440 --> 00:17:00,280 Speaker 1: give you. If you don't agree with those respect fully, 323 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,360 Speaker 1: say sis, I hear you, but I'm gonna go left. 324 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,359 Speaker 1: And I said, I'm gonna roll with you left until 325 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:08,480 Speaker 1: the wills fall off, and even if left doesn't get 326 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,320 Speaker 1: you your to the end result and we have to 327 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,639 Speaker 1: go back to do it the other way. I'm okay 328 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 1: with that. But the idea is, I want you to 329 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:19,400 Speaker 1: exercise your own, you know, internal locus muscle. I want 330 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,719 Speaker 1: you to exercise your own decision making muscle so that 331 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,960 Speaker 1: you do and you start to create what makes you 332 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:29,119 Speaker 1: as a young man happy, because at the end of 333 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:32,600 Speaker 1: all of this stuff, from education to entrepreneurial to this 334 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:36,040 Speaker 1: amazing podcast, you have emily to anything else you could think. 335 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:38,840 Speaker 1: If it goes back to what you said, there are 336 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:42,280 Speaker 1: more times where the road will be you and you 337 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:46,960 Speaker 1: and you, and if you can't create something that you 338 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,400 Speaker 1: you and you can look at each other and say, listen, 339 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,919 Speaker 1: I we are having the time of our life. You 340 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,800 Speaker 1: are going to be a world of trouble. That's when 341 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:58,680 Speaker 1: the light went off. Depression comes in, anxiety comes in, 342 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:03,600 Speaker 1: and fortunately a lot of people can't find the freaking 343 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,800 Speaker 1: light switch in the dark. And for me, I'm going 344 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,239 Speaker 1: listen to my clients who I invest everything I have 345 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:13,680 Speaker 1: into them, and again to you, my siblings and my brother. 346 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:18,360 Speaker 1: I just I want because I've learned to love myself unconditionally, 347 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,479 Speaker 1: I am able to give them permission, not that they 348 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:23,360 Speaker 1: need my permission, but I'm able to give them permission 349 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:28,080 Speaker 1: to choose a blueprint that's unconditional for them. And I'm 350 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,440 Speaker 1: able to walk that road side by side with them 351 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,240 Speaker 1: and I'm able to understand when they have to depart 352 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,640 Speaker 1: and do their own thing. But you're one hundred percent 353 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,520 Speaker 1: right when I learned that, you know, years ago as 354 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:40,959 Speaker 1: a young girl, that hey, this road is kind of 355 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,760 Speaker 1: like I can get lonely even when I'm a room 356 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,240 Speaker 1: full of a room full of people. If I don't 357 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:53,000 Speaker 1: learn to create a world and experience that really is 358 00:18:53,080 --> 00:19:00,280 Speaker 1: beautiful for me, me perfectly perfectly creating and custom for 359 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: for doctor Shyanne Bryant. If I don't do that, this 360 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,879 Speaker 1: thing's gonna be really really challenging. When I learned to 361 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:10,960 Speaker 1: do that, I am glowing, and I am enjoy and 362 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,320 Speaker 1: I am in peace, whether it's five hundred people in 363 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,119 Speaker 1: the room or it's just me, because I've learned to 364 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:20,080 Speaker 1: fuse with the one person you will never depart from, 365 00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:21,320 Speaker 1: and that's yourself. 366 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,200 Speaker 2: You're kind of like the flashlight in the dark room 367 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,640 Speaker 2: for all of those people. So we've established that it's 368 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:31,439 Speaker 2: okay to maybe not know exactly who you are and 369 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,639 Speaker 2: do some soul searching to figure that out. But for 370 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:37,240 Speaker 2: those that can feel confident in where they are who 371 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,920 Speaker 2: they are, we're talking about setting some goals. 372 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,800 Speaker 3: Where does one even begin? 373 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,880 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I love that. I love that question because 374 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:48,040 Speaker 1: I'm I always say words don't teach, experience does, and 375 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:51,080 Speaker 1: so I'm like you, you know, I don't believe in 376 00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:54,840 Speaker 1: telling people what to do. I believe in following up 377 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,119 Speaker 1: with the how to write and then giving them the experience. 378 00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:58,920 Speaker 1: Because of how to give you the experience and the 379 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,640 Speaker 1: you know to do just gives you obviously the textual 380 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,880 Speaker 1: textbook you know tips on how to do it, so 381 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 1: how to do it again once you. Tip number one 382 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:11,679 Speaker 1: is obviously to you know whatever it takes, take a 383 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:14,120 Speaker 1: long walk, sit by yourself for thirty forty minutes. I'm 384 00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:18,080 Speaker 1: big on meditation, but the thing is to sit with self. 385 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,720 Speaker 1: Let whatever comes up comes up. Don't judge yourself. Get 386 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,879 Speaker 1: in contact with your emotions and what you feel and 387 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,840 Speaker 1: what feels good and what doesn't feel good, which is 388 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,639 Speaker 1: getting to know yourself. That is tip number one for 389 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,399 Speaker 1: everything in life, especially for setting goals, because then you 390 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:32,639 Speaker 1: get to know who you are and what you like 391 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,959 Speaker 1: and what you want. And then the second thing is 392 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,520 Speaker 1: you write out a whole list on a piece of paper. 393 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,000 Speaker 1: On the left side, you write down all the things 394 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,760 Speaker 1: that make you feel good, all the things that make 395 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:46,040 Speaker 1: you happy. On the left side, you tie into that 396 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 1: what it would take to obtain those things. Okay, the 397 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,399 Speaker 1: left side of what it would take to obtain those things. 398 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:58,280 Speaker 1: After you get that, you say, okay, so from a 399 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: scale of one to ten, much enjoyment, what I find 400 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:05,879 Speaker 1: in doing what it would take? Okay, the things that 401 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:09,000 Speaker 1: are eight and up you keep on there. The things 402 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,239 Speaker 1: that are eight and below, get rid of them. The 403 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 1: things that are eight and above you tie them to 404 00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:16,439 Speaker 1: what you associated, what you love to do, and you 405 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,080 Speaker 1: start to create a goal as to what would that 406 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,359 Speaker 1: goal be. What would that look like? For example, for 407 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,120 Speaker 1: me with my practice, I said, okay, I did Monday 408 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,480 Speaker 1: through Sunday when I first started out, and I'm going, yep, 409 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 1: i want money through Sunday. I love what I do, 410 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:32,600 Speaker 1: I want to do this. And then it changed over 411 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,800 Speaker 1: the years. I'm going, no, I want Friday through Sunday 412 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,000 Speaker 1: as my days off. Even though I love what I do, 413 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 1: I want those days off and you know, Friday so 414 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,280 Speaker 1: I could do all my interviews, I can do all 415 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,960 Speaker 1: my podcast, my publications, and the weekends to have to 416 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,960 Speaker 1: myself so I can have a well balanced life. But 417 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:51,200 Speaker 1: see how we spoke earlier, For about ten years Monday 418 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:54,639 Speaker 1: through Sunday was something I freaking loved. I couldn't go 419 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,359 Speaker 1: a day without my clients. I mean I didn't do 420 00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:01,040 Speaker 1: it for the money. I literally loved interacting, infusing and 421 00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:04,240 Speaker 1: helping my clients and being in session. Ten years later, 422 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,160 Speaker 1: you know I changed as a person, as a woman. 423 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:10,159 Speaker 1: I want it more me time. Now. There's going to 424 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,840 Speaker 1: be times in the midst of doing your happy stuff 425 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,479 Speaker 1: that you may want to take a break, or you 426 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,920 Speaker 1: may feel like, okay, this is becoming a little redundant 427 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:21,199 Speaker 1: because I'm doing the same thing. Take a break, That's okay. 428 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 1: But how you know if it's something that ignites you 429 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:28,439 Speaker 1: is when you take a break, you miss it like 430 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,080 Speaker 1: you will your partner you're in love with, like you 431 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,760 Speaker 1: will someone you're dating and you know the relationship is 432 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,280 Speaker 1: in a healthy space. You may say I need my 433 00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:38,800 Speaker 1: me time, but your meantime only last is so long 434 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,399 Speaker 1: before you miss that person. So I want you to 435 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:44,560 Speaker 1: think of your goals as a relationship because it is 436 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:48,680 Speaker 1: with yourself saying do I miss my goal. I want 437 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:52,400 Speaker 1: you to pay attention to how you feel about the 438 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:56,480 Speaker 1: goals that you're doing, because at the end of the day, 439 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,080 Speaker 1: everything that we want. I eat the goals that we 440 00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:01,399 Speaker 1: set as ticket as what we want. It's only for 441 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,880 Speaker 1: us to feel a certain way, and that's just real. 442 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:07,600 Speaker 1: We're not doing anything for any other payoff but to 443 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,119 Speaker 1: feel good or feel happy. And this is why I 444 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,440 Speaker 1: always tell my clients, I say, we have one goal. 445 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 1: You have one goal, and that's to be happy. Because 446 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,720 Speaker 1: if your goal is to be happy all the time, 447 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 1: and happy doesn't mean you're out of ten all the 448 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:24,040 Speaker 1: time happy, It can be you're out of six but 449 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:26,879 Speaker 1: you feel really really good. You know you're at a seven, 450 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:32,160 Speaker 1: but you feel super super balanced. You're not blasting with excitement, 451 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:35,400 Speaker 1: but you're in extreme harmony and you feel so peaceful. 452 00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 1: And this calmness is just giving you everything you need. 453 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,480 Speaker 1: And so the key thing is to feel good about 454 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:44,360 Speaker 1: your goals. Are you freaking happy doing this? And if 455 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:50,320 Speaker 1: you're not, don't be afraid of doing it all the way. 456 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,040 Speaker 3: Taking a break from today's episode to talk to you. 457 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:59,560 Speaker 2: About my sponsor's first up inside Tracker, to live at 458 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,960 Speaker 2: your health the longest life possible. 459 00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:04,760 Speaker 3: You've got to understand what's going on in your body, know. 460 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 2: That people age at different speeds and generic annual blood work. 461 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:13,160 Speaker 2: It just doesn't properly evaluate your biological age. The good 462 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:17,160 Speaker 2: news is that inside Tracker does. 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Futures a new workout experience that pairs. 481 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,200 Speaker 3: You one on one with your own fitness coach. 482 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,800 Speaker 2: Your coach will map out a plan based on your goals, 483 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,640 Speaker 2: with workouts delivered to your phone each. 484 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:30,640 Speaker 3: And every week. 485 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:35,119 Speaker 2: Future, your Apple Watch, and the app all pair seamlessly, 486 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,760 Speaker 2: so you and your coach can track your progress, celebrate achievements, 487 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,320 Speaker 2: and keep you accountable every day. 488 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:43,040 Speaker 3: What I love. 489 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,320 Speaker 2: Working with my guy Brandon is that he knows when 490 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,960 Speaker 2: I've got travel on the docket, and then we can 491 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:52,880 Speaker 2: kind of work together to see what's the best way 492 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:56,240 Speaker 2: to form workouts depending on where I'm headed. So right 493 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:59,840 Speaker 2: now I am in Las Vegas. It has a great hotel, 494 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,439 Speaker 2: and I was able to try and mix things up 495 00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,320 Speaker 2: a little bit knowing that I have access here that 496 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:06,280 Speaker 2: I don't. 497 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,880 Speaker 3: Have at my home gym back in Brooklyn. 498 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:13,560 Speaker 2: Like I said, these programs are completely customized and it 499 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:17,480 Speaker 2: has been the most fun I've had working out in 500 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:21,280 Speaker 2: a long long time. Get started right now with your 501 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,800 Speaker 2: first month of Future for just nineteen dollars at try 502 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:29,800 Speaker 2: Future dot com slash hurdle again. That's Tryfuture dot Com 503 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:33,119 Speaker 2: slash Hurdle. Your first thirty days are risk free and 504 00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:36,720 Speaker 2: you can cancel at any time for a full refund. 505 00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:44,159 Speaker 3: What you were. 506 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:47,280 Speaker 2: Saying about the fact that at one point a goal 507 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,040 Speaker 2: can be good for you, and that doesn't mean that 508 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,840 Speaker 2: you aren't or cannot go for a goal that might 509 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,560 Speaker 2: be a little bit bigger. I mean, I feel like 510 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:58,680 Speaker 2: a great example of this is when someone starts running, 511 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:02,080 Speaker 2: for example, and they set a goal to run a mile. 512 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:04,800 Speaker 2: At that same time they set a goal to run 513 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,359 Speaker 2: a marathon. Well, all of the things on that list 514 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:08,720 Speaker 2: that would get them to where they need to be 515 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:12,440 Speaker 2: to run the marathon would feel completely bizarre and outlandish 516 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,600 Speaker 2: at that point, but setting a goal to run one 517 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,359 Speaker 2: mile a couple of days a week could be a 518 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,679 Speaker 2: process that that same person would really enjoy. Now that 519 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,840 Speaker 2: doesn't mean that there is never a marathon in their life. 520 00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,800 Speaker 2: It just means that at that point, right then, right there, 521 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,720 Speaker 2: they might find they may find a little bit more 522 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:34,840 Speaker 2: enjoyment starting small, Which leads me into my next question 523 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:38,919 Speaker 2: for you about kind of the sizes of our goals. 524 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,439 Speaker 2: Right we talked about a lot of small, little doables. 525 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,480 Speaker 2: Would you say that there is a safe way to 526 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:48,080 Speaker 2: set really big goals without setting really small goals or 527 00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:49,960 Speaker 2: how does someone even navigate something like that? 528 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,120 Speaker 1: Totally? I think that it all depends on on the person. 529 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:57,240 Speaker 1: It all depends on how discipline and commit it you've 530 00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:01,440 Speaker 1: been in the past to you know, completing your goals. 531 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:05,240 Speaker 1: I think that for someone who you know just sets 532 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:07,919 Speaker 1: their goals and they're very committed, they're very disciplined, they 533 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:10,960 Speaker 1: get through them. Is someone who I would say, your 534 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:14,680 Speaker 1: only problem is you're dreaming too small. Go big, go big, 535 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,800 Speaker 1: go crazy, go big, go crazy. Stretch yourself. You have 536 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,680 Speaker 1: the discipline, apply the discipline to the big goals as 537 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,560 Speaker 1: you have been the small goals, and go big. Why 538 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,120 Speaker 1: are you going small now? For someone who and this 539 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:29,760 Speaker 1: person is no you know, less or better than the 540 00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:31,520 Speaker 1: person the person I just described, But for someone who 541 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:34,560 Speaker 1: just doesn't yet have a discipline, the obedience and that 542 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:39,920 Speaker 1: commitment to you know, complete their goals, go small. Because 543 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:44,480 Speaker 1: what happens is as we complete our goals, we become empowered. 544 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:47,640 Speaker 1: And so the idea is, if you can empower yourself, 545 00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:49,719 Speaker 1: which is the belief in yourself to say I can 546 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:54,440 Speaker 1: do this, you start to exercise your commitment muscle, your 547 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,680 Speaker 1: discipline and obedience muscle. And the idea is to get 548 00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:01,360 Speaker 1: that muscle so big that it has muscle memories like 549 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 1: our real muscles do. In our body and you no 550 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,680 Speaker 1: longer have to really exercise it. That muscle shows up 551 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:08,360 Speaker 1: in bulth when it's time to go. 552 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,680 Speaker 2: Of course, there are the occasional hurdles that pop up 553 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:15,000 Speaker 2: that are unexpected or ones that really knock us down 554 00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:20,360 Speaker 2: and perhaps prevent you from going after that initial big goal. 555 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:25,080 Speaker 2: So what advice do you offer to individuals who do 556 00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:28,440 Speaker 2: come across these unexpected hurdles and how can they keep 557 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:32,360 Speaker 2: or search for seek out that positive mindset that they're 558 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:34,440 Speaker 2: going to need to get back up and stand on 559 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:35,160 Speaker 2: their own two feet. 560 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,320 Speaker 1: Get a coach. More than that, get an effective life 561 00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,960 Speaker 1: coach or a therapist who can do it. Get an 562 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:47,480 Speaker 1: effective coach who can see your authenticity, who can see 563 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:50,280 Speaker 1: inside of you some of the parts that you've turned off. 564 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 1: Because the idea of an effective coach is we go in, 565 00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:56,440 Speaker 1: we grab and sometimes you guys are uncomfortable with us 566 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,360 Speaker 1: being in there, but it doesn't matter. That's our job, 567 00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:03,240 Speaker 1: and we pull out the beautiful stuff that you go, well, 568 00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,000 Speaker 1: that's not me, and we're like, yeah, look at this 569 00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,320 Speaker 1: that is you. Wow, look at this. You can do it. 570 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,640 Speaker 1: You've done it before you've even completed it. And guess 571 00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,600 Speaker 1: what I got your back. Not everybody can afford a coach, 572 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:17,920 Speaker 1: and I don't want to be that coach that says, 573 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:19,400 Speaker 1: get a coach, you can't afford it. I don't know, 574 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,320 Speaker 1: you're just crap out of love. That's not true. You 575 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:23,880 Speaker 1: can't afford a coach, right, Or maybe you can and 576 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,920 Speaker 1: you're still in that indecisive gray area mode. That's okay. 577 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,920 Speaker 1: Celebrate yourself where you are, or go to YouTube and 578 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,800 Speaker 1: go to YouTube is free and you watch I have 579 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:34,960 Speaker 1: a Doctor Bryant channel that you can watch many of 580 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,600 Speaker 1: my videos. I am a fan of Abraham Hicks. I 581 00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:39,840 Speaker 1: watch her like crazy. She's my go to when I'm 582 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,960 Speaker 1: feeling like one of my screws is lost. Bishop TD Jakes. 583 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,920 Speaker 1: If you want to go to the more religious aspect 584 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,360 Speaker 1: of it, if you want to go spiritual, it's Abraham Hicks. 585 00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,160 Speaker 1: And when you go to YouTube you see many other 586 00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:53,280 Speaker 1: things that are there. Click on what works for you. 587 00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:57,120 Speaker 1: If it works for you, you allow it to penetrate 588 00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:59,680 Speaker 1: you until it no longer works. That means it can 589 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:03,200 Speaker 1: work for five years, twenty years, five months. If you 590 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:07,440 Speaker 1: have grown with that thing that works and outgrown it, 591 00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:09,000 Speaker 1: start to seek something else. 592 00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:10,560 Speaker 3: I love what you said. To just there. 593 00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:13,160 Speaker 2: And I think that also when it comes to these 594 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:17,000 Speaker 2: hurdles that we might face, you reiterating that asking for 595 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:19,280 Speaker 2: help is important. I remember, I think it was this 596 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,640 Speaker 2: morning that I was watching the Today Show and there 597 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,600 Speaker 2: was a segment on men's health and just the alarming 598 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:28,760 Speaker 2: statistics that so many men don't even seek out like 599 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:32,400 Speaker 2: a general their primary care physician during the year because 600 00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 2: it's almost as though they feel as though checking in 601 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:38,160 Speaker 2: on their body is them doing too much or needing that, 602 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,480 Speaker 2: you know, all of brand, when that's not the truth 603 00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:43,080 Speaker 2: at all. The same goes for our mental health, and 604 00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:46,600 Speaker 2: when especially when we're talking about goal setting here, is 605 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:49,640 Speaker 2: that it's just so integral at one point or another 606 00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:53,120 Speaker 2: when things aren't going your way, to say, hey, like 607 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,640 Speaker 2: I need to do a debrief, I need to dive 608 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:59,800 Speaker 2: into what's happening here, and just you know, have some grease. 609 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:04,280 Speaker 1: That entire process one hundred percent, you know, which you said, 610 00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:09,440 Speaker 1: is so powerful. There's power in asking for help, and 611 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:13,120 Speaker 1: there's power in receiving that help. Okay, you want to 612 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:15,680 Speaker 1: go fast, go alone, you want to go far, go 613 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:19,000 Speaker 1: as a team. Be easy on yourself and allow yourself 614 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:23,760 Speaker 1: to just feel another thing is you know, sometimes you 615 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:25,880 Speaker 1: don't need to do anything. Sometimes you don't need to 616 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,200 Speaker 1: run that mile. Sometimes it's not time to set any goals. 617 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:33,400 Speaker 1: It's time to do nothing at all and allow yourself 618 00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:35,160 Speaker 1: to be okay in that space. And when I say 619 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,800 Speaker 1: do nothing, I'm not saying do nothing for months, do 620 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:41,640 Speaker 1: nothing for weeks. I'm saying, give yourself the day if 621 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:44,320 Speaker 1: you may need the week to say. You know, I'm 622 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,640 Speaker 1: gonna do nothing but be in my pajamas. I'm gonna 623 00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,720 Speaker 1: drink my coffee, my tea, and I'm gonna sit in 624 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,760 Speaker 1: my emotions and I'm going to really get in contact 625 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:58,880 Speaker 1: and fuse with myself. That week can catapult you five 626 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,200 Speaker 1: years ahead. That's where people don't understand. This is not 627 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:06,200 Speaker 1: about who can work the hardest, who can kill themselves 628 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:08,640 Speaker 1: with this work ethic that just drives them in the ground. 629 00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:12,320 Speaker 1: That's not a good quality of life. That's imbalanced or unbalanced, 630 00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:16,960 Speaker 1: and it's unhealthy. The idea is, you know, how can 631 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,560 Speaker 1: I it's the law of non resistance. How can I 632 00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:25,400 Speaker 1: do less and get more? That doesn't mean you're cheating 633 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,720 Speaker 1: people what they get from you. That's not what it means, 634 00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:30,959 Speaker 1: or even yourself that means, how can I make my mind, 635 00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:34,440 Speaker 1: how can I make my law of attraction calibrate and 636 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:38,600 Speaker 1: work for me? Because we are attracting things, we are 637 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:44,680 Speaker 1: not outfinding things. Finding is exhausting, that's called doing. Attracting 638 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:48,480 Speaker 1: is empowering, that's called being. And when you are just being, 639 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:52,560 Speaker 1: you will attract everything of who you are, because we 640 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,800 Speaker 1: attract who we are despite of who we think we are. 641 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:56,960 Speaker 1: So if you really want to do an assessment and 642 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,000 Speaker 1: a measurement on what the heck is going on with 643 00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:05,720 Speaker 1: you inside internally, just seek nothing, attract everything, and then 644 00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:09,520 Speaker 1: look at it as observer and go, oh, okay, so 645 00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:13,640 Speaker 1: I'm attracting this or maybe argumentative people, or I'm attracting 646 00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,360 Speaker 1: givers or I'm attracting takers, And then you go, okay, 647 00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:20,480 Speaker 1: that's what I am. And don't deny it. Just say 648 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:22,959 Speaker 1: that's what I am. Don't beat yourself up and write 649 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:24,400 Speaker 1: it down on a piece of paper and say I 650 00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,799 Speaker 1: don't want to be this, but I do love being this. 651 00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:30,400 Speaker 1: So let me calibrate different, let me take that out 652 00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:35,879 Speaker 1: of my calibration and my energetic whirlpool, because all we're 653 00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:39,959 Speaker 1: doing are these we're these little you know, calibrators who 654 00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:42,000 Speaker 1: attracts who we are, and guess what we do. We 655 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:45,080 Speaker 1: throw out who we are, so we attract and we project, 656 00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:48,319 Speaker 1: and we see in others who we are, not who 657 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:50,719 Speaker 1: they are. So start to look at people. This is 658 00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:56,120 Speaker 1: a good homework for all of your hurdlers. Look at 659 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,200 Speaker 1: I want you to take inventory, right, I want you 660 00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:00,520 Speaker 1: to take a piece of paper out and start to 661 00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:02,560 Speaker 1: take five people in your world, and I want you 662 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:04,480 Speaker 1: to write down what you see in them, and don't 663 00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:07,440 Speaker 1: be biased good and bad, because whatever you see in 664 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,040 Speaker 1: them is really what you see in you. Because we 665 00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:12,080 Speaker 1: see in others who we are, not who they are. 666 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:14,520 Speaker 1: And write that down and then look at it and 667 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:18,080 Speaker 1: take inventory and go, Okay, I'm a little funky over here, 668 00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:21,400 Speaker 1: I'm killing it over here, I'm doing my thing. And 669 00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:24,520 Speaker 1: then just take that list, work on it, and I 670 00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:28,080 Speaker 1: want you to create goals from that list as to, Okay, 671 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:31,040 Speaker 1: my goal is to become more of these things that 672 00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:33,279 Speaker 1: I really love. And I don't want you to even 673 00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:35,200 Speaker 1: focus on the things that you don't because what we 674 00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:38,799 Speaker 1: focus on magnifies. Don't water the plant we don't want 675 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:42,319 Speaker 1: to grow. And then celebrate yourself. You know we will 676 00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:45,080 Speaker 1: you can't beat yourself down and build yourself up at 677 00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:48,000 Speaker 1: the same time. And I tell my clients, so you 678 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,839 Speaker 1: got to choose one. So if you choose build yourself up, 679 00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:54,800 Speaker 1: then let's celebrate ourselves. Let's celebrate when we are bold 680 00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:59,160 Speaker 1: enough and we love ourself enough Emily to take a 681 00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:01,440 Speaker 1: day or two our lie week off, that's something to 682 00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,640 Speaker 1: be proud of. You know what. I allow myself to 683 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:05,600 Speaker 1: take a couple of days off, and I allow myself 684 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:09,360 Speaker 1: to be okay with it. Celebrate that, and then the 685 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,719 Speaker 1: days when you know I was totally committed because I 686 00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:13,600 Speaker 1: didn't feel like doing any of this, but I did 687 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:17,720 Speaker 1: it all. And I deserve a glass of wine tonight. 688 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,280 Speaker 1: I deserve to be in my pj's and watch my show. 689 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:22,440 Speaker 1: Maybe I want to have a two hour conversation with 690 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:26,120 Speaker 1: my girlfriend about absolutely nothing. I deserve that. That is 691 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:29,520 Speaker 1: celebration for me. I deserve to have a week in 692 00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:35,480 Speaker 1: vacation like Emily does solo. Then do that, embrace it, 693 00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:39,120 Speaker 1: and be celebratory the entire time that you're doing it. 694 00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:44,480 Speaker 1: We have to learn to feel good about ourselves, especially 695 00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:49,760 Speaker 1: women and especially men who are which statistically has proven 696 00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,080 Speaker 1: men who don't not only ask for help, but they 697 00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:55,839 Speaker 1: don't open They're not open to receiving help. They have 698 00:36:55,920 --> 00:37:00,440 Speaker 1: to start to celebrate that vulnerable space of them asking 699 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:05,240 Speaker 1: for help right and then receiving it and being grateful 700 00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:07,400 Speaker 1: and okay with it and not feeling less than our 701 00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:11,520 Speaker 1: week because you receive something that society or learned behavior 702 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,400 Speaker 1: taught you you should be able to do on your own. 703 00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:14,360 Speaker 1: That's not true. 704 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:16,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I mean you're leading us right into where 705 00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:19,760 Speaker 2: I wanted to kind of wind down our conversation today, 706 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:23,400 Speaker 2: which is on this note of celebration and making the 707 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:27,040 Speaker 2: time to recognize that work that you have done to 708 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:30,000 Speaker 2: get to where you want to be. So what advice 709 00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:34,080 Speaker 2: do you have for anyone who is in this phase, 710 00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:37,279 Speaker 2: right in this phase of completing their goal? How do 711 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:38,480 Speaker 2: they proceed from there? 712 00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:45,400 Speaker 1: Totally? You know, there's milestones in the middle of your goal, 713 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:49,080 Speaker 1: and say your goal takes four steps, you should have 714 00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:52,080 Speaker 1: a plan that says, hey, on step number two, I'm 715 00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:56,880 Speaker 1: turning up. On step number four, I'm going to celebrate 716 00:37:56,960 --> 00:38:01,680 Speaker 1: like crazy and then celebrate in way is that recharge 717 00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:05,640 Speaker 1: you that make you feel like a powerhouse, that make 718 00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:09,360 Speaker 1: you feel so loved And the key thing to celebration 719 00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:13,719 Speaker 1: is to surround yourself with people who celebrate you too, 720 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:19,239 Speaker 1: not just merely tolerate you. And you don't have to 721 00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:22,000 Speaker 1: shift who you are when you walk in the room 722 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:24,960 Speaker 1: and make sure that the number one person that you're 723 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:27,759 Speaker 1: talking to and that you're having a relationship with and 724 00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:30,319 Speaker 1: that you are allowing to celebrate you as a person 725 00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:34,240 Speaker 1: you're never depart from, and that's yourself. And so everything 726 00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,680 Speaker 1: goes back to self. Learn how to feel really good 727 00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:42,040 Speaker 1: about everything you do, even when nobody's cheering for you, 728 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,440 Speaker 1: even when nobody gets it and when they don't agree 729 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:46,640 Speaker 1: with it. I say, you have to learn the balance 730 00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:50,480 Speaker 1: of really really caring for people and about people, but 731 00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:53,040 Speaker 1: not giving a damn about how they feel about you. 732 00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:57,879 Speaker 1: Not an easy space to obtain, but once you're there, man, 733 00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:00,400 Speaker 1: you're in the money. You're in the money because then 734 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:02,360 Speaker 1: you can say, you know, I love you, Emily, I 735 00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,600 Speaker 1: care about you, I got your back, You're my girl, 736 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:10,279 Speaker 1: but you don't influence my value. And that would be 737 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:15,080 Speaker 1: the healthiest, the epitome of a healthy friendship. But that's 738 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:18,000 Speaker 1: also also the peak of emotional intelligence, which is a 739 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:18,800 Speaker 1: whole other show. 740 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:24,640 Speaker 2: It's another episode that we'll do next month. Maybe I 741 00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:27,080 Speaker 2: love the idea of harmony. I love the idea of 742 00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,120 Speaker 2: lifting one another up and surrounding yourself with people that 743 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,440 Speaker 2: not only support you, but cheer you on. I know 744 00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:36,480 Speaker 2: it's so so important and so many unbelievable takeaways. In 745 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:40,680 Speaker 2: today's episode, Doctor Bryant, give the hurdler some information. Let 746 00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:42,600 Speaker 2: them know. How do they follow along with you? How 747 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,560 Speaker 2: do they keep up with you? Give me the details. 748 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:49,280 Speaker 1: So to find Doctor b I'm on Instagram and Twitter 749 00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:53,440 Speaker 1: at Underscore Doctor Bryant. My website is doctor Bryant dot 750 00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:56,840 Speaker 1: co and that's doctor Bryant dot CEO, not dot com. 751 00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:59,800 Speaker 1: And then on Facebook you just put in doctor Shane Bryant. 752 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,240 Speaker 1: The cool thing is if you just google me, doctor 753 00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:05,440 Speaker 1: Shy and Bryant, my book Mental Detoks comes up number one, 754 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,920 Speaker 1: and for some reason, the universe must have felt very 755 00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:11,240 Speaker 1: good about me. I come up number one on Google. 756 00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:15,279 Speaker 1: So try it out and thanks for tuning, And I 757 00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:17,799 Speaker 1: really hope that y'all have taken away some tools and 758 00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:21,080 Speaker 1: some tips that you will apply to your life, because 759 00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,000 Speaker 1: the truth of the matter is, if you do the work, 760 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:24,440 Speaker 1: it works. 761 00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:26,600 Speaker 3: Do the work, it works. 762 00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:29,920 Speaker 2: I'm over at emily A Badi and at Hurdle Podcasts, 763 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,440 Speaker 2: Another hurdle conquered. 764 00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:32,799 Speaker 3: Catch you guys next time.