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Speaker 1: Karen, mom forces me into a relationship, but I already

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Speaker 1: have a boyfriend that's an aggressive matchmaker. Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: because there's the kind of typical like, oh, your mom

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Speaker 1: wants to, like, you know, hook you up with someone

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Speaker 1: to get married. Daughter looks so great, doesn't she sad?

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Speaker 1: But but this Karen is taking it to the next

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Speaker 1: All was like, no, no, no, I'm gonna I'm just gonna

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Speaker 1: delete your current relationship and then make a new one.

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Speaker 1: I liked him anyway. He's out on the streets, boom

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Speaker 1: next level, picked at the curb. So my female fourteen

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Speaker 1: mom female forty four, in the past few weeks, has

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Speaker 1: been trying to force me to date her friend's son. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I feel bad for the friend's son. Oh yeah.

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Speaker 2: It's like man doesn't have a strong enough tender profile

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Speaker 2: for it to work on his own, so he has

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Speaker 2: to like incorporate like mercenary moms to go do his

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Speaker 2: bidding and try to get women for him.

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Speaker 1: Now you feel bad for him now, but just just wait,

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Speaker 1: just wait till the end of the story.

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Speaker 2: This way, I also feel bad for Op. Just to

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Speaker 2: be clear, Oh yeah, he's for everyone.

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Speaker 1: Yes, for context him and I used to be pretty

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Speaker 1: close friends back in middle school. Two months ago, he

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Speaker 1: had broken up with his longtime girlfriend, so he's, uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, singles ready to mingle. He's hurting despite me

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Speaker 1: currently having a relationship. My mom is constantly telling me

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Speaker 1: to come over to comfort him, always telling me that

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Speaker 1: he is the perfect guy for me.

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Speaker 2: I'm also imagining that, like they're at the dinner table

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Speaker 2: with the current boyfriend and like, you know who you

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Speaker 2: should date? You know who's the perfect man. Sally's little kid,

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Speaker 2: little little mungch kid, dude, I would not put it

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Speaker 2: past his care. And this this yeah, she's she's a

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Speaker 2: bit wild. Yeah, yeah, I want, I want. I want

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Speaker 2: a statement though from the boy, the current boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: I want to know what. Yeah, honestly, we do we

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Speaker 1: do need that. One day. The guy my mom is

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Speaker 1: trying to hook me up with, not my boyfriend, tried

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Speaker 1: to kiss me during her relationship nice. So I told

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Speaker 1: my mom that I do not want to hang out

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Speaker 1: with him anymore. She literally slapped me and I almost crossed,

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Speaker 1: Like you imagine, dude, terrible dude.

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Speaker 2: I'm just imagining this Karen mom with this this little

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Speaker 2: what's the other kid's name? We do not know, I'm

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Speaker 2: just madging this Karen's mom with this this like young

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Speaker 2: young man saying like, I know just how my daughter

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Speaker 2: likes it. Puck her up and they're practicing. This kid's

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Speaker 2: making out on the one point oh versions, so we

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Speaker 2: can get with the two point oh version. And then

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Speaker 2: little Op throws it all in her face and she's like,

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Speaker 2: why did I kiss your new potential boyfriend all those times?

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Speaker 1: If you're not going to get with him? Have you

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Speaker 1: seen have you seen romy the show? No, there's a

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Speaker 1: bit of a it's it's this really good show on Hulu,

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Speaker 1: and there's a bit of it almost that that scenario

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Speaker 1: almost happens. Nice. She told me that I'm making him

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Speaker 1: more sad by doing this, and then I should be ashamed. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he is shamed for having a boyfriend, bro and not

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Speaker 1: not leaving him for the person your mom randomly wants

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Speaker 1: to Like.

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Speaker 2: Mom, if you like him so much, why don't you

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Speaker 2: date him? It sounds like you're just vicariously living through me,

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Speaker 2: So why don't you just take the helm and go

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Speaker 2: down that dude?

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Speaker 1: That's that's what needs to happen. She later phoned him

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Speaker 1: to say sorry to him and told him that I

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Speaker 1: really loved him and he should not give up. Yeah, bro,

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Speaker 1: this is like, good God. Not on the OS part obviously.

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Speaker 2: I'm just imagine him going back to his fellas and

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Speaker 2: he's like, dude, I try to kiss her and then

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Speaker 2: she threw up.

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Speaker 1: But then I got on the.

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Speaker 2: Phone with her mom and she's like, oh no, No,

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Speaker 2: that just means she really really likes you to go

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Speaker 2: for it again.

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Speaker 1: So I'm gonna trust her mom so bad.

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Speaker 2: Because like, if I can't get with Stacy, then maybe

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Speaker 2: I can get with her mom.

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Speaker 1: See, that's what should be happening, but tragically it does not.

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Speaker 2: I feel like the best ending. I don't know the ending,

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Speaker 2: but I hope the ending is this kid gets with

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Speaker 2: Opie's mom and now it's like I'm your stepdad.

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Speaker 1: We'll see, we will see. Sadly, he listened to her

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Speaker 1: and kept trying to hit on me. Where where are they?

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Speaker 1: Are they meeting up somewhere? I think I in this

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Speaker 1: part it doesn't specify, but there's there's some more juice

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Speaker 1: because there's an update. Give me that juice, bab. So

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Speaker 1: for the update, My mom took my phone away from me.

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Speaker 1: I usually use it in the morning when she's sleeping,

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Speaker 1: and she did not allow me to leave my room

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Speaker 1: at all.

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Speaker 2: She's like, you are not leaving this room until you

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Speaker 2: make out with my friend's kid.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I literally forgot this part that this just ups

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Speaker 1: the anti buy a million. Her mom literally called the

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Speaker 1: school and told them that she was sick and couldn't

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Speaker 1: go and barely gave her.

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Speaker 2: Food even Yo, the only thing he should be sick

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Speaker 2: with is sick of the ship.

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Speaker 1: Dude, this is insane, bikes, I decided that on Monday,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to be moving to a friend's house. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: you definitely should because seventeen seventeen. Yeah, yeah, this is

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Speaker 1: absolutely like. This is like Elon Musk rocket blasting.

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Speaker 2: Pass the line on Musk having his six children from

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Speaker 2: eighteen different Marris.

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Speaker 1: I think she's at like literally nine or something like

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Speaker 1: nine or ten or something.

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Speaker 2: He has like a baby with crimes, right, at least

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Speaker 2: one two or one maybe two, I don't know, honestly,

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Speaker 2: but at least he isn't forcing his kids to date

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Speaker 2: his best friend's kids. Just Hey, which who is Elon

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Speaker 2: Musk's best friend? Me Samuel Donner childhood best friend? That's right, John,

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Speaker 2: I really think you should. I know, you have a

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Speaker 2: girlfriend and everything. I really think you should date my

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Speaker 2: best friend's kid, Elon Musk.

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Speaker 1: Yes, let's do it. You know, we'll add one to

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Speaker 1: the party, you know what I mean. Yeah, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's what I like to hear. Yesterday, my mom told

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Speaker 1: me that my boyfriend texted me that he really wanted

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Speaker 1: to meet me at the park. Oh no, you see,

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Speaker 1: you're you're sensing, you're sensing some uh some tomfoolery about dinging,

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Speaker 1: And if I really wanted to go, she would allow it.

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Speaker 1: But I just couldn't leave the park. And she gave

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Speaker 1: my phone back but shared my GPS coordinates with her

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Speaker 1: so she would know where I was.

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Speaker 2: So this is so controlling, this is so out of

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Speaker 2: Lineah okay, but at least she's going to meet up

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Speaker 2: with her boyfriend, right.

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Speaker 1: Right, right, So my mom is the one driving me

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Speaker 1: there and driving me home. And I was surprised at

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Speaker 1: how generous this was in comparison to the past few

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Speaker 1: days slash weeks. Oh god, I of course agreed, even

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Speaker 1: in the limited space, this is good. So I quickly

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Speaker 1: prepared because she only told me an hour before she

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Speaker 1: was ready to leave, and she wanted me to put

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Speaker 1: on clothes that a few weeks ago she called salute.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, So now she's like, okay, now she's STI

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Speaker 1: changing her tune on everything for seemingly no reason.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, Well, maybe she's finally come around to this boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: Maybe she's literally just had a complete overnight transformation and

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Speaker 1: all of her toxic traits are gone. You know what,

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Speaker 1: Maybe that's a thing. It does happen, It's happened before.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure someone realizes their wrongs and then they.

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Speaker 1: Keep become a key different person. They just wake up

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Speaker 1: a different person. Yeah. I thought my mom had just

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Speaker 1: done a complete one eighty degree turn. When we arrived,

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Speaker 1: I didn't see my boyfriend anywhere, but my mom assured

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Speaker 1: me that he would be there. I got out of

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Speaker 1: the car and just walked over to a bench, and

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Speaker 1: I started looking through the messages that my boyfriend had

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Speaker 1: sent me, But there was zero mention of this meetup. Suspicious.

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Speaker 1: I thought maybe my mom would want me to believe

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend had forgotten and I would be mad at him.

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Speaker 1: I saw someone coming in the distance. Oh no, it

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Speaker 1: was the guy my mom wanted me to get set up.

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Speaker 2: With YO, and is she like waiting in the car

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Speaker 2: with binoculars, like getting off to this shit.

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Speaker 1: I ca'me, no, I think she left. I think she

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Speaker 1: left and she's gonna come back, so we think, so

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Speaker 1: we know. I started to realize what was happening. I

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Speaker 1: quickly read his messages and noticed my mother in my

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Speaker 1: name had invited him to meet there, so it wasn't

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Speaker 1: just her.

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Speaker 2: I feel so bad for this dude, Like I think,

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Speaker 2: I think this mom is trying all right in this

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Speaker 2: in a perverted way. This mom is trying to help

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Speaker 2: this kid who just went through a bad breakup. But

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Speaker 2: can you imagine going up to this girl that you think, like, oh,

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Speaker 2: this girl so into me, like her mom has been

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Speaker 2: saying how into me she is. I'm so excited. I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna wear my best colonne. I'm gonna wear my collared shirt.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna, you know, like wear my dragon ball Z underpants.

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Speaker 2: He's like feeling really good, like going to a Kami

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Speaker 2: hama ha in this park, and then he shows up

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Speaker 2: and like this girl is like mortified, and like I know,

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Speaker 2: just just just imagine being like, oh, this guy gives

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Speaker 2: me the eck.

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Speaker 1: It would be. It would be terrible if it were

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Speaker 1: you or me. But he's he's a bit of a

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Speaker 1: different breed. Okay, it's a bit of a different breed.

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Speaker 1: He came up to me hugging me, and I told

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Speaker 1: him immediately that I had not sent the messages. At first,

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Speaker 1: he looks like he understood. Oh, f in the chat

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Speaker 1: for my boys. Yeah, just drop drop. Here's a question.

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Speaker 1: What would you guys do, like if if you were

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Speaker 1: actually in both scenarios.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure, dude, I'm getting emancipated as as the op you.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, sure as this kid as this kid, you know,

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Speaker 2: I actually have been.

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Speaker 1: I'll leave my story for the but I have a

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Speaker 1: related story. We got juicy Juicy Juicy Sam the same

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Speaker 1: daughter love chronicles will continue right coming back, that's right.

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Speaker 1: Should we should have a we should have a band.

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Speaker 1: We absolutely chronicle. We're going to make that a segment, guys,

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Speaker 1: just you wait. I told him I was leaving my

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Speaker 1: mom's house for good, but didn't tell him when or where.

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Speaker 1: He suggested that the simplest solution to my problem would

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Speaker 1: be for me to just simply kiss him when she

200
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Speaker 1: sees us.

201
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Speaker 2: Yeah, my man's playing forty chess. It's like, yo, just

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Speaker 2: to make your mom happy when she's watching us, let's

203
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Speaker 2: just kiss bro, and then my eyes will lock with

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Speaker 2: her eyes and I'll be like, we're having a little threesome.

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Speaker 1: The inceel energy only it only goes up from here.

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Speaker 1: That it only goes up from here.

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Speaker 2: In cel energy is the most concentrated and pure form

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Speaker 2: of energy that you can get.

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Speaker 1: It's basically like diamond. It's like the same. It's like

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Speaker 1: the opposite of vibranium, the same power, but with nefarious

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Speaker 1: for evil, dark energy, evil exactly. I decided that it

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Speaker 1: was time to go, and I called my mom to

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Speaker 1: pick me up. When he when he heard the car arrive,

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Speaker 1: he pulled me close and said, just a quick kiss. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I replied, kes, I didn't say anything, which he took

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Speaker 1: as a yest, and he just straight up kissed me.

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Speaker 1: After that, he started confessing his love for me and

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Speaker 1: kissed me again. Yo. I just said bye and left.

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Speaker 1: When I got to my mom's car, my mom just

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Speaker 1: smiled and said we look very cute together. Hopefully after Monday,

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Speaker 1: I will never see my mom again. Yo.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, man is not smooth first of all, Like

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Speaker 2: this is a weird situation. But what does what does

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Speaker 2: Opie's mom seeing this guy like it's it's it's just like.

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Speaker 1: Super weird, Like it's like a Karen fixation when they

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Speaker 1: like fixate on these like stupid nonsensical like there's no reason,

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Speaker 1: no reason.

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Speaker 2: I mean, all right, the real reason Karen as a

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Speaker 2: crush on this Jem's real.

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Speaker 1: I think that's I think that's a good theory.

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Speaker 2: Maybe they're maybe like they're trying to do like a

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Speaker 2: Game of Throne style thing where it's like, my family

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Speaker 2: must be married to your family so we could have

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Speaker 2: a great empire.

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Speaker 1: And maybe maybe op maybe that dude's family is rich.

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Speaker 2: Oh see, see this is what you're forgetting o p

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Speaker 2: He might he statement, he might be. He might be

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Speaker 2: a total in cell, a bad kisser, a weirdo, a freak.

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Speaker 2: But but if you got that Elon Musk money.

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Speaker 1: This this is a double down. I will leave leave

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Speaker 1: to you. But that is that is, that is all yours.

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Speaker 1: Give him a chance, that is all yours. What love

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Speaker 1: can't buy jet skis that is that is technically true.

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Speaker 1: That is technically a true statement. I'm kidding, I'm kidding,

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Speaker 1: you know, do it for love for love. Speaking of love,

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Speaker 1: we have a Sam Donna love chronicle.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so my first girlfriend that I ever have had,

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Speaker 2: a family friend was over and I was like sixteen

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Speaker 2: or seventeen or something like that. And this family friend

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Speaker 2: she I was like a swimmer back then, and I

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Speaker 2: had just gotten out of the pool, just ripped and wet.

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Speaker 2: Yeah I was. I was ripped, but I was like thin.

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Speaker 2: It was like a linky swimmer, like a body. You

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Speaker 2: were I would rip. You were glistening. And lady literally

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Speaker 2: felt me up. She was mom, this mom. She was

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Speaker 2: like she was like she was like touching my abs

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Speaker 2: and my arms and she's like, Matt, uh uh, my

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Speaker 2: daughter would love you. Uh uh Okay, And she gave

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Speaker 2: me her daughter's number. That's yeah. Raise And so I

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Speaker 2: got her daughter's number. She was two years older than me.

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Speaker 2: I was in high school.

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Speaker 1: She was in.

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Speaker 2: College, and I'm like college girl, that's like the dream.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And we dated for two years. Oh really? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, that that you you actually got. Like,

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Speaker 1: We've seen a lot of plot twist endings, but I

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Speaker 1: I genuinely was not seeing that one. Yeah. Wow, Okay,

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Speaker 1: everyone everyone comment below that we we are gonna make.

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Speaker 1: Sam Samuel Donner Love Chronicles, Love Nothing We're gonna make.

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Speaker 1: If you want another great Karen story, check out this

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Speaker 1: one where Karen calls the police on someone with cancer.

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Speaker 1: Why you gotta do that?

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Speaker 2: Why called make a wish not be a bish