Speaker 1: The big reason why a lot of people stay stuck
Speaker 1: is that we are actually subconsciously afraid of what it
Speaker 1: might look like if we succeed at doing it. Get
Speaker 1: specific about your goals, but get specific about your fears.
Speaker 2: Hey, everyone, welcome back to on Purpose, the place you
Speaker 2: come to listen, learn and grow and become happier, healthier,
Speaker 2: and more healed. Today's guest is Emily McDonald, neuroscientist and
Speaker 2: founder of Mindcraft Neuroscience back tools to rewire your brain
Speaker 2: and master your reality. Emily shares how understanding the brain
Speaker 2: can help you break free from limiting patterns, manage your
Speaker 2: emotions more effectively, and consciously create the life you want.
Speaker 2: This conversation will help you see how real change starts
Speaker 2: from within and how rewiring your brain can transform your reality.
Speaker 2: Please welcome to on Purpose, Emily McDonald. Emily, it's great
Speaker 2: to have you here.
Speaker 1: It's so amazing to be here. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2: I love following you on social media. I feel like
Speaker 2: I learned so much. I have so many friends who
Speaker 2: live and swear by your page, and so have you
Speaker 2: here now is awesome. And again, congratulations and all your success.
Speaker 2: I know you just got engaged as well, So thank
Speaker 2: you congratulations on that is wonderful to meet your fiance.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, but let's start straight in.
Speaker 2: If someone was to listen to our conversation today and
Speaker 2: apply the things you have to say, how would their
Speaker 2: life change.
Speaker 1: I'd like to say that it can and will change
Speaker 1: in every single aspect that you apply it to. I
Speaker 1: think that And you know, actually, one of my students
Speaker 1: in Mindecraft she joined a few months ago and she
Speaker 1: I asked her, I said, in which ways do you
Speaker 1: think that your life has changed since joining? And she said,
Speaker 1: every single aspect of her life has changed. And I
Speaker 1: think that the principles that I teach and I coach
Speaker 1: on and that I practice, I think they really can
Speaker 1: be applied to every single area of your life. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it just depends on you and what you
Speaker 1: choose and what you intend, right, So it's all about
Speaker 1: intention there, and it's like if you want to apply
Speaker 1: to relationships, you can, but also just being more in
Speaker 1: control of your brain. I like to make the analogy
Speaker 1: of if you are driving a car down the road
Speaker 1: and you don't know how that car works, if it
Speaker 1: breaks down, you don't know how to fix it. You'll
Speaker 1: be stuck there, right. And I have a story of
Speaker 1: like my car breaking down. My brother, Luckily he's a
Speaker 1: mechanical engineer, and I called him. He's like, oh, poor
Speaker 1: water in this oneman hole or whatever, and I could
Speaker 1: be on my merry way. Right, I got home safely.
Speaker 1: But if you don't know how and the brain works
Speaker 1: the same way, right, So let's say you're stressed out,
Speaker 1: or you are overwhelmed, or you're struggling to focus or
Speaker 1: whatever it is. If you don't know how your brain works,
Speaker 1: you might be stuck. But when you know how your
Speaker 1: brain works, you can then use that knowledge and apply
Speaker 1: it to whatever area you're really struggling with. So that
Speaker 1: I think that it really can be applied to many
Speaker 1: different areas of your life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I love that analogy. I've had many a
Speaker 2: time in my life a car that's broken down on me.
Speaker 2: Not been a mechanical engineer. Yeah, I pushed my car up.
Speaker 2: And that's what it sometimes feels like for people. I
Speaker 2: feel like people feel that they're fighting against their brain,
Speaker 2: they're breaking down their mind, they're trying to push forward,
Speaker 2: and they just feel stuck. I feel like so many
Speaker 2: people listening right now feel stuck in their job, they
Speaker 2: feel stuck in a bad relationship, they feel stuck looking
Speaker 2: for a career. If someone feels stuck, what do they
Speaker 2: need to understand about the brain in order to start
Speaker 2: the process to get unstuck.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I think that feeling of being stuck, it's
Speaker 1: really quite natural. When you think about neuroscience and your biology.
Speaker 1: The brain loves to keep you in what is safe
Speaker 1: and normal to you. The brain is also, I like
Speaker 1: to call it a prediction machine, So we don't necessarily
Speaker 1: experience reality. We experience, you know, our brains sort of
Speaker 1: filtering everything we see here feel touched, but also predicting
Speaker 1: what's about to happen. And that's why a lot of times,
Speaker 1: you know, we feel like anxious or whatever it is,
Speaker 1: it has to do with the brain's predicting kind of
Speaker 1: something that's upcoming. And so I think that feeling of
Speaker 1: being stuck is quite normal and natural. And I just
Speaker 1: want to say that first. But also understanding which area
Speaker 1: you're stuck in, right, And I'm going to take it
Speaker 1: an interesting direction right now, but I like to talk
Speaker 1: about procrastination because it's a good example of feeling stuck. Right, So,
Speaker 1: if you are. Let's say you have a goal and
Speaker 1: you're like, like starting a podcast, and you're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I want to do it, and then you're procrastinating it. Right,
Speaker 1: So I always say that there are three reasons why
Speaker 1: people procrastinate, and the first reason is there's an identity
Speaker 1: sort of mismatch. And what I mean by that is
Speaker 1: that you don't like your sense of self and who
Speaker 1: you believe that you are doesn't match with you working
Speaker 1: toward the goal of launching a podcast. And this actually
Speaker 1: kind of resonated with me personally whenever I was starting
Speaker 1: to write a book. I was procrastinating writing my book,
Speaker 1: and I was like, why am I doing this? I
Speaker 1: know it's a goal, I know I want to do it,
Speaker 1: but I don't know why I'm procross And the default
Speaker 1: mode network in the brain is really what's at play here.
Speaker 1: So the default mode network is really appropriately named because
Speaker 1: it kind of helps to regulate and propel our default
Speaker 1: mode of behavior. Right, So it's responsible for our default
Speaker 1: mode of being and doing, but it's also responsible for
Speaker 1: our sense of self and constructing the narrative or the
Speaker 1: story of our lives. And so if your sense of
Speaker 1: self doesn't match if your identity doesn't match whatever it
Speaker 1: is that you're trying to do, then your default mode
Speaker 1: network is not really going to be helping you do
Speaker 1: the behaviors or take the action toward starting a podcast.
Speaker 1: And so I always tell my clients, I tell my students,
Speaker 1: I tell everyone on social media, and like, just identity shift,
Speaker 1: you know, like shift your identity. You can just start
Speaker 1: to identify as the version of you who has done
Speaker 1: the thing. And so that's kind of the first part
Speaker 1: of that, and then the second.
Speaker 3: That's so interesting.
Speaker 2: That's so interesting, And I love the way you broke
Speaker 2: down the default mode network because this identity mismatch that
Speaker 2: you're talking about. Are you saying that if you don't
Speaker 2: I know, you've said something which I love you said.
Speaker 2: Science says you have to act like you already have it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: before something can happen. Is that what you're saying that
Speaker 2: You've got to feel like I'm already an author, I'm
Speaker 2: already a podcaster. How does someone practically apply that identity
Speaker 2: to make sure it's aligned?
Speaker 1: Right? So it's really just choosing to identify as that person, right.
Speaker 1: And so when I say that you have to act
Speaker 1: like you already have it, or like you already are
Speaker 1: it in order to do it or be it works
Speaker 1: the same way. The analogy I use there is falling
Speaker 1: asleep at night. Like when you fall asleep at night,
Speaker 1: you lay down, you close your eyes, you slow your breath,
Speaker 1: and you pretend like you're asleep until you fall asleep,
Speaker 1: and your brain makes it so. And life works that
Speaker 1: way as well, and you have to act like it
Speaker 1: and move like it, right, Like you're not going to
Speaker 1: become a drummer in a band unless you act like
Speaker 1: a drummer, and drummer's practice. And so it's sort of
Speaker 1: like and so how do I apply that like practically,
Speaker 1: I guess from my book example, I really just decided
Speaker 1: I'm an author, Like from this moment forward, I'm an author.
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of times we don't realize
Speaker 1: the power that we have to choose those sorts of things.
Speaker 1: And this is another reason why I tell people to
Speaker 1: be so careful about the labels that they use to
Speaker 1: identify themselves and the labels that they put on themselves.
Speaker 1: And growing up in my own life, I had so
Speaker 1: many different labels put onto me that I believed and
Speaker 1: just kind of allowed to describe who I was, and
Speaker 1: that impacted my life, it impacted my health, it impacted
Speaker 1: everything in my world. And so that's one of the
Speaker 1: reasons why I'm so passionate about it. But yeah, and
Speaker 1: so applying that practically a lot of times, it really
Speaker 1: just looks like choosing to identify as that version of you.
Speaker 1: Like if I'm trying to start a podcast, I am
Speaker 1: a podcaster, and there I am doing.
Speaker 2: It right, almost like how does an author behave? And
Speaker 2: let me start practice? Right, So an author gets up
Speaker 2: and write a page even when they don't feel inspired,
Speaker 2: because that's how they get for example, right, or like
Speaker 2: a podcast that sits down and you just start interviewing
Speaker 2: the people that are available until you're able to book
Speaker 2: the guests that you really want to speak to.
Speaker 1: Right, exactly exactly, And when that happens when you choose,
Speaker 1: when you write a new what happens then is that
Speaker 1: you're writing a new story and your brain kind of
Speaker 1: stops using your past to predict your future and it
Speaker 1: kind of starts to take the present moment and your
Speaker 1: new identity that you are choosing to help predict your
Speaker 1: future behavior. And so it's super powerful.
Speaker 3: I love that, all right, what's the second that was?
Speaker 1: Okay? So the second reason why most people procrastinate is fear.
Speaker 1: A lot of times we are actually subconsciously afraid of success.
Speaker 1: And I think this is a big reason why a
Speaker 1: lot of people stay stuck, is that we are actually
Speaker 1: subconsciously afraid of what it might look like if we
Speaker 1: succeed at doing it interesting and for me personally, so
Speaker 1: I'm actually about a launch of podcast by the time
Speaker 1: this episode comes out, and may or may not be
Speaker 1: already launched. But when I again I was procrastinating filling
Speaker 1: my podcast, and me being me, I sit down and
Speaker 1: I analyze my mind, like why am I procrastinating starting
Speaker 1: to film this podcast? And what I found was that
Speaker 1: I was subconsciously afraid of being seen in sort of
Speaker 1: a more vulnerable way, because long form content is a
Speaker 1: lot more vulnerable than a one minute reel on Instagram,
Speaker 1: Like you're not really you in that short of period
Speaker 1: of time, but in long form content, people can really
Speaker 1: see you. And so that was sort of the fear
Speaker 1: that I uncovered for myself. But yeah, and I think
Speaker 1: this is another reason why I tell people all the time,
Speaker 1: like a lot of people say, get specific about your goals.
Speaker 1: But I also say get specific about your fears, because
Speaker 1: your fears, they can have control over you when you
Speaker 1: don't know what they are. But when you identify them,
Speaker 1: labeling them, well, that activates the prefernal cortex and the
Speaker 1: prefernal cortex and the amygdala. They sort of have this
Speaker 1: kind of seesaw relationship where when one activity activity in
Speaker 1: one goes up activity and the other goes down. And
Speaker 1: so when you label your emotions, you label the fears
Speaker 1: that you you have, you're actually giving yourself your power back.
Speaker 1: You're activating the prefernal cortex, which is the CEO of
Speaker 1: your brain. It's sort of the boss of your brain.
Speaker 1: And so kind of getting specific about your fears, I
Speaker 1: would say, is the way to overcome that version of stuckness.
Speaker 1: And I think that's a really powerful activity to do
Speaker 1: if somebody were feeling stuck.
Speaker 2: How did you get so specific and define your own fear?
Speaker 2: I love that you shared what you were worried about
Speaker 2: in this whole idea that people are scared of success. Yeah,
Speaker 2: how did you come upon that? Like? What process did
Speaker 2: it take? What reflection did you do? How did you
Speaker 2: identify them? I love what you said about identifying your
Speaker 2: goals is important, but actually knowing your fears is equally
Speaker 2: as important, if not more.
Speaker 3: How do you do that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I think for me, I have the saying
Speaker 1: called take it all the way to the end, and
Speaker 1: so allow yourself to go on the journey or the
Speaker 1: path all the way to the end. And so I
Speaker 1: sat down and I was like, Okay, if I go
Speaker 1: and I film this podcast, my goal is to have
Speaker 1: a top podcast in the world. Right, so if I'm
Speaker 1: having a top podcast in the world, what might that
Speaker 1: look like? Oh, that means that I'm setting myself up
Speaker 1: to be seen more and maybe have more hate and
Speaker 1: maybe have more criticism and judgment and all that. And
Speaker 1: just seeing myself write that down, I was like, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: if my brain is highlighting that as oh, if you
Speaker 1: go and start a podcast, you're going to have more
Speaker 1: hate and face more criticism, then it might try to
Speaker 1: keep me safe from that. And that's really what that
Speaker 1: is is your brain is just trying to keep you safe.
Speaker 1: And so that's why identifying your fears can be so powerful.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, I would say, if you're trying to
Speaker 1: identify what your fears are, I would just take the
Speaker 1: goal whatever it is that you're trying to do all
Speaker 1: the way to the end, like if it's the top podcast,
Speaker 1: or if it's the best selling book, or if it's
Speaker 1: your business, or even a relationship. Right, like a lot
Speaker 1: of people in relationships, like you're afraid of relying on
Speaker 1: someone or being dependent on someone, or really fully being
Speaker 1: open and vulnerable with someone, and honestly just identifying that
Speaker 1: as the first step and getting super clear on that,
Speaker 1: because when you get clear on that, then you can
Speaker 1: rewrite the story of exactly like you said, Yes, it's true,
Speaker 1: being more vulnerable and being seen my equal more judgment
Speaker 1: or criticism, but it might also equal and to the
Speaker 1: same extent, if not more, more love and more support.
Speaker 1: So and you have to identify at first to give
Speaker 1: yourself the chance to even rewrite that fear.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love the idea of take you all the
Speaker 2: way to the end. That's a great one. It's a
Speaker 2: great way of actually getting really clear on exactly what's
Speaker 2: tripping you up. And I love what you just said
Speaker 2: there that actually when you come up with it, you
Speaker 2: realize your brain was just trying to keep you safe. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was actually just trying to help you because it
Speaker 2: was scared of that. It wasn't that you weren't good enough,
Speaker 2: or it wasn't that you weren't smart enough, or it
Speaker 2: wasn't that you can't develop the skills.
Speaker 3: It was just trying to keep you safe.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think when we think about the brain
Speaker 1: trying to keep us safe, that and that's a really
Speaker 1: big reason why the brain tries to keep us kind
Speaker 1: of in our comfort zone. Right, But it's super important
Speaker 1: to recognize and acknowledge that any sort of growth happens
Speaker 1: outside of our comfort zones. Like I would not be
Speaker 1: in the physition where I am today if I didn't
Speaker 1: take delusional level risks and leaps of faith. And so
Speaker 1: it's really a requirement to achieving or receiving or having
Speaker 1: whatever it is that we want. And so yeah, getting
Speaker 1: really clear on our fears and take it all the way,
Speaker 1: I take it all the way to the end applies
Speaker 1: to that. It also applies to limiting beliefs as well,
Speaker 1: like take it all the way to the end, see
Speaker 1: what comes up for you. And also, yeah, I think
Speaker 1: because I've had students, I had a specific student ask
Speaker 1: me she was struggling with sand volleyball, beach volleyball, and
Speaker 1: she was like, I had this fear, and I was like,
Speaker 1: take it all the way to the end. Visualize it. Maybe,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't think I've ever heard anyone tell
Speaker 1: people like visualize your fears. But if it's safe for
Speaker 1: you and you're not gonna like like have any sort
Speaker 1: of physical reaction, like visualize it and see what comes
Speaker 1: up for you and see like what is it really
Speaker 1: that you're afraid of, and then you can give yourself
Speaker 1: the chance to kind of rewrite that story to number three. Okay,
Speaker 1: so we've got there's an identity mismatch or there's maybe
Speaker 1: some underlying fear behind it, and then number three is
Speaker 1: really more of a scientific, kind of simple, straightforward thing.
Speaker 1: And it's cheap dopamine. Uh, it's everywhere and society sort
Speaker 1: of it's everywhere cheap dopamine, social media, it's all over
Speaker 1: the place and like fast food, binging, Netflix, whatever it
Speaker 1: is that's that's number three is cheap dopamine. And it's
Speaker 1: it's really it's a dream dopamine. I always say, like,
Speaker 1: dopamine doesn't care about your dreams. Dopamine just cares about
Speaker 1: what you automate and what you repeat. And so it's
Speaker 1: going to keep you doing that. And also when it
Speaker 1: comes to cheap dopamine, if you're giving yourself a lot
Speaker 1: of that, then you're not really And one of the
Speaker 1: big things that I do to help kind of motivate
Speaker 1: myself to doing things is withholding reward. And so whenever
Speaker 1: I was in the PhD, I studied drug addiction, and
Speaker 1: so a lot of dopamine research and studying kind of
Speaker 1: the dopamine pathways. But also drug addiction is really maladaptive
Speaker 1: habit formation. And so when I think about kind of
Speaker 1: cheap dopamine and habit formation and behavior, because dopamine drives
Speaker 1: a lot of behavior, one of the things that I
Speaker 1: do to kind of motivate myself is just withhold whatever
Speaker 1: reward that I'm wanting. So let's say I saw it
Speaker 1: online or I was shopping or whatever, and I saw
Speaker 1: a shirt that I wanted, I wouldn't allow myself to
Speaker 1: buy it, or a candle or whatever it is, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't allow myself to buy it until after I do
Speaker 1: the task that I'm maybe procrastinating or feeling stuck doing.
Speaker 1: And so if someone's out there right now and you're
Speaker 1: procrastinating or feeling stuck starting a business or going after
Speaker 1: a job, or dating in a relationship or whatever it is,
Speaker 1: and you're regularly giving yourself sort of cheap dopamine or
Speaker 1: you know, allowing yourself to just like have whatever reward
Speaker 1: it is, and you just give it to yourself all
Speaker 1: the time, then you're not really setting yourself up for
Speaker 1: success because you're giving yourself your brain is just well
Speaker 1: fed on dopamine. And you can think of it sort
Speaker 1: of as the analogy of like snacking all day, right,
Speaker 1: So if you're snacking all day, you're never really gonna
Speaker 1: be hungry and to eat that whole meal, and so
Speaker 1: dope means kind of the same way. If you're like
Speaker 1: giving yourself those cheap dopamine hits going on social media
Speaker 1: all day long, then you're never really gonna be driven
Speaker 1: to go complete that big task. And that big task
Speaker 1: is going to be a lot more rewarding than the small,
Speaker 1: repetitive cheap dopamine, especially at night. So I want to
Speaker 1: I want to highlight that because this is something newer
Speaker 1: that I've been talking about, and honestly, I discover all this,
Speaker 1: Like obviously I learned about neuroscience in school, but I
Speaker 1: discover a lot of the kind of hacks and stuff
Speaker 1: based on what I need and in my own life.
Speaker 1: And so I realized, you know, I was waking up
Speaker 1: with less motivation, waking up low on energy, and just
Speaker 1: not really feeling like normally and I have most of
Speaker 1: the time. I really do wake up and I jump
Speaker 1: out of bed and I'm like ready and so excited
Speaker 1: for the day. So I'm like, what's what's happening here?
Speaker 1: And what I actually realized was that so dopamine actually
Speaker 1: resets itself and restores as you sleep, and so scrolling
Speaker 1: at nighttime or binge, watching Netflix or any of those
Speaker 1: things that give you cheap dopamine and even eating late
Speaker 1: night snacks and all that that actually up Well, one,
Speaker 1: it disrupts your sleep, and that keeps your dopamine system
Speaker 1: from restoring itself. But also it desensitizes your dopamine receptors,
Speaker 1: so when you wake up in the morning, you're, for
Speaker 1: lack of better like to keep it simple, you're less
Speaker 1: sensitive to dopamine when you wake up in the morning
Speaker 1: when you give yourself cheap dopamine at night, and so
Speaker 1: cheap dopamine is number three. It's a big reason why
Speaker 1: people stay stuck. Yeah, because if you're giving yourself snacks
Speaker 1: all day, you're never going to be driven to cook
Speaker 1: a meal. If you're giving yourself cheap dopamine all day long,
Speaker 1: you're never going to be driven to go do the
Speaker 1: big task that's going to help you get closer to
Speaker 1: your dreams.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 2: How do we convince ourselves that the big task is
Speaker 2: going to be more fulfilling than the cheap, quick dopamine.
Speaker 3: Or what do we do with that?
Speaker 2: Because I think you're spot on that there are a
Speaker 2: million distractions today. It's easy to be caught down a wormhole.
Speaker 2: It's easy to binge your show, and you don't realize
Speaker 2: that actually building the thing you love or starting that business,
Speaker 2: or investing in that relationship, whatever it is, will be
Speaker 2: so much more meaningful. What do we do with that?
Speaker 2: How do we get there?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So I think two things. The first is get
Speaker 1: super specific about why you want that thing, right, So,
Speaker 1: if you don't really know why you want and let's
Speaker 1: I guess the big goal for this would be writing
Speaker 1: a book, because that takes so long and it does
Speaker 1: not come easily or company and.
Speaker 2: It never gets easy. I'm I'm writing my third book
Speaker 2: right now. It does not get easy.
Speaker 3: It is not. I'll just tell everyone it's not get.
Speaker 1: Easy, and it's it's you're in it. It's a marathon,
Speaker 1: it's not a sprint. They used to say that to
Speaker 1: me all the time in the PhD. It's even though
Speaker 1: they wanted you to sprint the marathon. And so I
Speaker 1: think for that, it's really understanding and being super clear
Speaker 1: about why you want to do it, because motivation is
Speaker 1: not always going to be there for you, and that's
Speaker 1: where knowing your why. And I kind of have a
Speaker 1: different take on discipline where I don't really think of
Speaker 1: like this hardcore sort of disciplined sort of moment. I
Speaker 1: think of discipline as looking out for future you. And
Speaker 1: I think this is why it's super important for me.
Speaker 1: Whenever I am working with people, I ask them, you know,
Speaker 1: like who do you want to be? Like when you
Speaker 1: imagine yourself like achieving the goals or whatever, it is like,
Speaker 1: it's not really about that. It's about who achieving those
Speaker 1: goals is going to make you become. And that's really
Speaker 1: what it's all about. And like who are you feeling
Speaker 1: called to become? And getting super clear on who that
Speaker 1: is and why you want to be that person, and
Speaker 1: so understanding your why and why you want to do it,
Speaker 1: why do you want to write the book, and that
Speaker 1: will keep you going and motivate you, but also who
Speaker 1: that's going to make you become, Like I want to
Speaker 1: be an author, Like I want to have a book published,
Speaker 1: and sometimes that's going to motivate me a lot more
Speaker 1: than just thinking about publishing a book, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? I think that is sort of super important,
Speaker 1: is really knowing your why. And then I think the
Speaker 1: other thing when you're clear on that, when you're clear
Speaker 1: on who you want to become and your why and
Speaker 1: your purpose for doing it, that's really the first half
Speaker 1: of it, and then the other half of it. I
Speaker 1: don't do the whole internal battle thing, like don't I
Speaker 1: don't negotiate with myself. That's something that I don't do.
Speaker 1: And so I think trying to convince yourself that it's
Speaker 1: going to be rewarding and going to be better than
Speaker 1: scrolling on my phone, I don't think that we can
Speaker 1: really even do that. I don't think that that's something
Speaker 1: that I wouldn't recommend. I think in that scenario it
Speaker 1: would more be and actually like recently, I was struggling
Speaker 1: with getting filming content and I called my friend who's
Speaker 1: still in the PhD. She's like my best friend and
Speaker 1: I called her and she's like, em, you're the one
Speaker 1: that would always tell me, you need to you need
Speaker 1: to withhold reward, like what do you want? Like you
Speaker 1: do you want like a new feel? Like what is
Speaker 1: it that you want? And then get that, get clear
Speaker 1: on like what it is that you want, and then
Speaker 1: don't give it to yourself until after the big thing
Speaker 1: has been accomplished, after you've done the thing that you
Speaker 1: want to do. And that's how you start to train
Speaker 1: your brain that it's more rewarding. A dog doesn't learn
Speaker 1: to sit for free. I say that all the time.
Speaker 1: If you want to teach a dog how to sit,
Speaker 1: you have to give your dog a treat, and then
Speaker 1: that treat boost open me. That dopamine drives learning, and
Speaker 1: then when you learn it and it becomes a habit
Speaker 1: that you repeat, then it's just wired in and you're
Speaker 1: doing it and you don't have to think so much
Speaker 1: about it, and it's not about convincing yourself. It's just
Speaker 1: wired and it's automatic behavior. And then another thing that
Speaker 1: I talk about a lot in my community, in the
Speaker 1: people that I coach, is that take a moment after
Speaker 1: you do accomplish those things or you do. It doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be some big goal that you're accomplishing either.
Speaker 1: It can maybe be even something small, like I said,
Speaker 1: creating content like that's a stepping stone on the way,
Speaker 1: And it can be just as simple as taking a
Speaker 1: moment to tell yourself, Hey, I'm proud of you, good
Speaker 1: job you accomplish that. Self talk boost dopamine like self
Speaker 1: affirmation boosts opamine. It activates the reward centers in the brain.
Speaker 1: I used to be I didn't used to believe in affirmations.
Speaker 1: I used to think they were woo woo or whatever,
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, what is that? But then,
Speaker 1: you know, I sort of went on my own journey
Speaker 1: and then of course looked into the neuroscience of it,
Speaker 1: and they really are so powerful and not even necesscessarily
Speaker 1: an affirmation track or whatever it is, but speaking to
Speaker 1: yourself positively and kindly, it's so so so important and
Speaker 1: making sure to take a moment to do that and
Speaker 1: acknowledge yourself when you are working toward the goals, because
Speaker 1: it's so easy to you know, just be like okay,
Speaker 1: like I'd posted a video, Okay, we're not necessarily at
Speaker 1: ten million yet, so that's not we're not there yet.
Speaker 1: It's really easy to do that and get caught up
Speaker 1: in the big picture and not give yourself the pat
Speaker 1: on the back for the steps that you're taking along
Speaker 1: the way. And those are the little dopamine booths that
Speaker 1: are going to build momentum, that are going to keep
Speaker 1: you going, and that are also going to teach your
Speaker 1: brain that oh hey, this behavior, this action that we're
Speaker 1: taking is valuable and meaningful.
Speaker 3: Well practices do you think young people should delay?
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be a purchase. It is not
Speaker 1: to be a purchase. I'm using this is personally for me.
Speaker 1: I like clothes, so like for me. And then maybe
Speaker 1: it's even going and planning. It can be anything like
Speaker 1: planning a reward for yourself, like going out to dinner.
Speaker 1: Let's say if you're a foodie. It really depends. So
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna sit here and tell people what's gonna
Speaker 1: boost their OPA mean, because it's very highly individual. What
Speaker 1: is it that you want and like? But maybe you
Speaker 1: love going to the grocery store and buying these one
Speaker 1: box of cookies that you really like or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: Maybe there's something and also it's good to switch it up,
Speaker 1: like if it's something that you haven't done for yourself
Speaker 1: in a while, or like there's a dessert that you
Speaker 1: love that you only have on your birthday. It's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: if I take the steps, if I sign up for
Speaker 1: this LLC and I get the logo done and I
Speaker 1: set up the website, I'm gonna go get that thing
Speaker 1: that I get for my birthday and I'm gonna give
Speaker 1: it to myself now. So it's just kind of really
Speaker 1: anything that makes you And I think also this is
Speaker 1: why I always talk about with with people, is to
Speaker 1: also have something to look forward to. I think is
Speaker 1: super or whether it's just like a dinner because I
Speaker 1: found and this is something I really learned through experience
Speaker 1: in college and undergrad But then of course, now knowing
Speaker 1: the neuroscience of it, I would be so much more
Speaker 1: productive and study so much better when I had plans
Speaker 1: on Friday night. And like, if you don't have any
Speaker 1: plans or anything to look forward to or like a
Speaker 1: reason to get some done quickly, then it's gonna be
Speaker 1: a lot harder, and also like dopamine is released in
Speaker 1: anticipation of a good thing happening, it's not just about reward.
Speaker 1: It's also when you are anticipating something. Like from my
Speaker 1: like kind of research studies, that was more tied to craving, right,
Speaker 1: but in kind of our day to day lives, it's anticipation.
Speaker 1: Like that's why when you're when you're a little kid
Speaker 1: and it's the night before Christmas, like you can't you couldn't,
Speaker 1: you can't fall asleep at night because you're excited, you're
Speaker 1: anticipating something. And actually the day that we're supposed to
Speaker 1: close on our house, which was like two weeks ago,
Speaker 1: I woke up that morning feeling like a kid on Christmas,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I was looking into the neuroscience
Speaker 1: of it actually because I was like, how do I
Speaker 1: activate this feeling more every single day because it's a
Speaker 1: great feeling, and I was so productive. But that was
Speaker 1: really a day of detachment because we weren't sure whether
Speaker 1: or not we were going to close that day, and
Speaker 1: it was actually as soon as we decided, oh no,
Speaker 1: it's not gonna happen today, we'll just drive home, we
Speaker 1: got the call and I was like, Oh, you're gonna
Speaker 1: get the keys, and I was like, it's always when
Speaker 1: you let go. So yeah, I think it depends on
Speaker 1: a person when it comes to what you should delay
Speaker 1: or what you should purchase. It doesn't even have to
Speaker 1: be a purchase. It can be any sort of rewarding thing,
Speaker 1: like actually, something that I've been doing because I have
Speaker 1: a mountain bike, not like an avid mountain biker, but
Speaker 1: I love nature and I also have a ripstick. I
Speaker 1: love to ripstick, just like around my house or whatever
Speaker 1: it is. And so I told myself the other day actually,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna film this content and then
Speaker 1: afterward I'm gonna ripstick and giving myself that sort of
Speaker 1: little reward of like honestly, it's like playtime, Like not
Speaker 1: giving myself that. It motivated me to go get it
Speaker 1: done because I had something to look forward to and
Speaker 1: a little reward afterward.
Speaker 3: Absolutely Well said, it definitely works. It definitely works.
Speaker 2: I can think of so many moments in my life
Speaker 2: where that's exactly how I'm focusing on how to get
Speaker 2: the work done first and then be able to play
Speaker 2: break afterwards. And the biggest one for me from what
Speaker 2: you said that I think really is going to make
Speaker 2: a difference for people is being kind to yourself in
Speaker 2: the process. Yeah, that grace that comes with that, and
Speaker 2: the ability to celebrate the small wins and the progress,
Speaker 2: because if you're always measuring yourself up against a big goal,
Speaker 2: you could be waiting a long long Yeah, especially when
Speaker 2: you're writing a book. I mean that you just told
Speaker 2: me the cycle of when your book's going to come out,
Speaker 2: and that's what it is. It takes like two three
Speaker 2: years to put it together, then it takes time for
Speaker 2: it to come out, then you're promoting it. So the
Speaker 2: actual result of someone saying I love your book and
Speaker 2: I got so much from it is so far away
Speaker 2: that if that's what you're waiting for, it's going to
Speaker 2: feel like forever.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I actually had to switch. This is funny that
Speaker 1: you say that, because when I first started, I was
Speaker 1: very motivated by having a best selling book and writing
Speaker 1: this book. And quickly did I learn that's not going
Speaker 1: to last and we're not going to be able to
Speaker 1: push through on this. So I actually shifted from motivated
Speaker 1: by kind of the result to hey, actually I just
Speaker 1: want to be an author, and being an author is
Speaker 1: a reward in itself, and when I acknowledged that, then
Speaker 1: it became more rewarding to write the book and do
Speaker 1: the work. And so it was that shift, And I
Speaker 1: think that's also why it's so important to figure out
Speaker 1: who you want to be and that identity and who
Speaker 1: it's going to make you, because when you can start
Speaker 1: to kind of identify as that, it's also very rewarding
Speaker 1: to embody it as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you've said that desperately wanting something actually blocks you
Speaker 2: from getting it, which applies to what you just said
Speaker 2: about your house. Just that moment you let go, you're like,
Speaker 2: you got the call that you've got your house. Why
Speaker 2: does desperately wanting something actually block it?
Speaker 1: When you are very attached to an outcome and you
Speaker 1: desperately want something and it's to the point where it
Speaker 1: is kind of raising your stress levels and you are
Speaker 1: dependent on it or attached to the outcome, it boosts
Speaker 1: stress and a boost cortisol and that actually narrows your
Speaker 1: perception and kind of which gives you a sort of
Speaker 1: tunnel vision and actually blocks you from being able to
Speaker 1: perceive or be aware of alternate pathways and alternate routes,
Speaker 1: which is one reason why I can block you from
Speaker 1: getting it because a lot of times, you know, we'll
Speaker 1: have a goal and we have something that we want
Speaker 1: to accomplish. And I know for me personally, I had
Speaker 1: a goal and I had to be very open to
Speaker 1: alternate pathways in my life. I had to be very
Speaker 1: open to like, okay, and you know, we'll go down
Speaker 1: the road and maybe this road isn't it, and we'll
Speaker 1: take a different road. But being able to be open
Speaker 1: to alternate pathways that actually you're less able to do
Speaker 1: that and you're less open minded and you have more
Speaker 1: of tunnel vision whenever you are kind of desperately attached
Speaker 1: to something, and also whenever we are chronically stressed, I
Speaker 1: mean that puts us in fight or flight. And when
Speaker 1: the nervous system is disregulated, I mean it becomes way
Speaker 1: harder to rewire your brain. And I like to use
Speaker 1: the analogy of a kid in the classroom, Like if
Speaker 1: you're a kid in the classroom and you are being
Speaker 1: bullied by every single student, it's going to be really
Speaker 1: hard to pay attention to the teacher and actually learned
Speaker 1: what's being said. But if you feel safe in that classroom,
Speaker 1: the kid can actually feel safe to learn and pay
Speaker 1: attention to the teacher and absorb what's being said. And
Speaker 1: it works the same way in our lives. Like, if
Speaker 1: we're feeling stressed and anxious all the time, it's really
Speaker 1: going to be difficult to be focused on whatever goal
Speaker 1: that we have. And so that's another kind of piece
Speaker 1: of it. And then there's another piece of it, which
Speaker 1: is sort of this incubation effect in the brain. And
Speaker 1: I'm sure you've noticed that if you're sitting there and
Speaker 1: you're thinking about a problem or a challenge, or you're
Speaker 1: wanting an answer to something, and you can't necessarily think
Speaker 1: of the way of the answer, But then as soon
Speaker 1: as you walk away from it, then you go for
Speaker 1: a walk or you're in the shower or whatever it is,
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, the answer comes and whatever you
Speaker 1: wanted to say comes. That's the incubation effect. And our
Speaker 1: subconscious mind or like the other kind of areas in
Speaker 1: the brain can process a lot more information and make
Speaker 1: a lot more connections than our conscious mind can when
Speaker 1: we're sort of focusing on something. And so whenever we're
Speaker 1: desperately wanting something or attached to and we're thinking about
Speaker 1: it all the time and we're kind of stopping that
Speaker 1: from happening. We're stopping the incubation effect to do it
Speaker 1: magic of sort of going to work behind the scenes
Speaker 1: and coming up with the answers. And so that's another
Speaker 1: reason why letting go can be so helpful and just.
Speaker 1: And that doesn't mean that you're not going to work
Speaker 1: towards your goals. That doesn't mean that you're not going
Speaker 1: to be focused on your goals, but it means that
Speaker 1: you know you work toward it, and you worry about what,
Speaker 1: you worry about the inputs, and you worry about what
Speaker 1: you can do, but you sort of let go of
Speaker 1: the how and the when, and you just and it
Speaker 1: also allows you to enjoy the journey, which is which
Speaker 1: is really important. And I think that's, if not one
Speaker 1: of the most important things when it comes to all
Speaker 1: of it, is enjoying the journey. And I always say,
Speaker 1: you know, life is about the journey. If it were
Speaker 1: about the destination, it would be called death. It's about
Speaker 1: the journey, and so enjoying the journey is super important.
Speaker 1: And when you're desperately attached to something, especially you know
Speaker 1: when it's a long term sort of situation, you're going
Speaker 1: to be you're you're withholding reward and you're withholding feeling
Speaker 1: proud of yourself and feeling accomplished for a long time.
Speaker 1: And I don't think that anybody should really live that
Speaker 1: way either.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it can be you can tolment yourself. Yeah, you
Speaker 2: can capture yourself if you do it, and it can
Speaker 2: lead to greatness, but at what cost?
Speaker 1: Right, it absolutely can. But I knowing myself, and I
Speaker 1: think that that's a very important piece of this, and
Speaker 1: knowing myself is that one of my top values is
Speaker 1: joy and being able to enjoy my life and enjoy
Speaker 1: the journey of my life. And so for me, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think remembering to enjoy the journey. But also I've
Speaker 1: found that I do so much better in my work
Speaker 1: and creative process when I am in my joy. And
Speaker 1: so I think that joy isn't necessarily like a break
Speaker 1: or like an additional reward, but it also is sort
Speaker 1: of a necessity if we want our brain to be
Speaker 1: in its most optimized state, because tons of studies show
Speaker 1: that play and being in your joy it actually boosts
Speaker 1: creativity and also boosts longevity and our immune system function
Speaker 1: and all the things. So it's really good for our
Speaker 1: physical health as well as our mental health.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Yeah, you've reminded me of two things. One thing
Speaker 2: I always say to people is you'll get to where
Speaker 2: you want in life, just not in the way you
Speaker 2: imagine it. The idea that you're going in the direction,
Speaker 2: but the path it's going to take is going to
Speaker 2: be totally different.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so.
Speaker 2: What you want may even change if you're moving at
Speaker 2: the pace you want to go. And one of the
Speaker 2: things I love that you said your values joy. One
Speaker 2: of my values, deep values, is love. And I always
Speaker 2: say to myself, I always want to move at the
Speaker 2: pace of love. I want to move as fast as
Speaker 2: I can while still loving it. Yeah, because if I
Speaker 2: start hating it, then it's not worth it, even if
Speaker 2: I move three times.
Speaker 3: The speed that I'm at right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Because I want to move at the pace of love.
Speaker 2: I want to move at a pace that I'm in
Speaker 2: love with myself. I'm in love with what I'm doing
Speaker 2: and I in love with what I'm serving, rather than
Speaker 2: I'm moving really really fast. We're getting there, but I
Speaker 2: actually hate it and I'm upset at myself.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it's super important to know in mindcraft,
Speaker 1: in the very beginning, I have people get to know themselves,
Speaker 1: and they're key values because in my business, actually, like
Speaker 1: working in business, I've had kind of I don't want
Speaker 1: to use the word standoffs, but situations where I've had
Speaker 1: to bring up and so mine what I have mind
Speaker 1: broken down into three parts, and one of the parts
Speaker 1: is to be to have love and joy. And for me,
Speaker 1: it's the exact same way. It's like, yes, we could
Speaker 1: do all of this, and we could move at this speed,
Speaker 1: and we could, but at the cost of my love,
Speaker 1: at the cost of feeling love and joy, it's not
Speaker 1: worth it to me. And so I completely resonate with that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what is the number one thing people are coming
Speaker 2: to you in Minecraft and your community for coaching? What's
Speaker 2: the number one thing you're seeing amongst young people?
Speaker 1: Minecraft is a pretty wide range. I would say it's
Speaker 1: from like twenties up to sixties, so we've got a
Speaker 1: pretty wide range of people. And so I would say
Speaker 1: the reasons why people come into Minecraft are pretty variable.
Speaker 1: But I think I like that you asked a question
Speaker 1: about people feeling stuck, because I think that that's a
Speaker 1: big reason why people do come to Minecraft and understanding
Speaker 1: kind of the neuroscience of reality and how life works
Speaker 1: and how the brain builds reality is so sort of
Speaker 1: an eye opener. It was an eye opener for me,
Speaker 1: it's an eye opener for a lot of people. But
Speaker 1: then also seeing how your brain is really like directing
Speaker 1: you and then directing how you feel and your actions
Speaker 1: and all of that. And so I think a big
Speaker 1: reason is that people do feel stuck and they want
Speaker 1: they and also, I mean just I got to meet
Speaker 1: with some people in Minecraft in person recently, and one
Speaker 1: person said that he joined because he wanted to find
Speaker 1: purpose in his life and connect more deeply with spirituality.
Speaker 1: And he found that not only did he find his purpose,
Speaker 1: but he actually just launched a nonprofit, which is super cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a lot of people, surprisingly, and I guess surprisingly or not.
Speaker 1: I don't really know what I was expecting when I
Speaker 1: started Minecraft. I just sort of started it because I
Speaker 1: wanted to give people everything that helped me get to
Speaker 1: where I am in one place. But I've found that
Speaker 1: a lot of people end up quitting their nine to
Speaker 1: five jobs and starting their own thing and not that.
Speaker 1: And you know, of course, there are people who love
Speaker 1: their nine to five jobs and they're in them but
Speaker 1: surprisingly a lot of people do embark on that journey,
Speaker 1: and so I think it a lot of people join
Speaker 1: because they want to really find what lights them up
Speaker 1: and what calls to them. And I think that when
Speaker 1: you figure out who you are on a super deep level,
Speaker 1: and you then figure out how your brain works, and
Speaker 1: you understand all the little kind of nuances of focus
Speaker 1: and stress and anxiety and nervous system regulation and of
Speaker 1: course like identity and your sense of self and how
Speaker 1: all that works, then you kind of have this sort
Speaker 1: of freedom to go and create the life that you
Speaker 1: really want.
Speaker 3: What's your take on manifestation.
Speaker 1: I'm one hundred thousand percent believe in manifestation.
Speaker 3: Version yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: So I think a lot of people don't believe in
Speaker 1: manifestation because they think that it's this thing where you
Speaker 1: just sit down and think until it pops up into
Speaker 1: your reality. And I don't really I don't really see
Speaker 1: it that way. So I guess my take on manifestation
Speaker 1: is really sort of just understanding the neuroscience of reality
Speaker 1: and how the brain works. There's actually a really cool study,
Speaker 1: so I'll tell you about this study. This study actually
Speaker 1: really greatly explains how manifestation works at least in my eyes.
Speaker 1: So there's a study done in the nineteen seventies where
Speaker 1: they took kittens and they raised one group of kittens.
Speaker 1: They raised them all in complete darkness. They took one
Speaker 1: group of kittens and they showed them only horizontal lines,
Speaker 1: horizontal black and white lines. So they're raised mostly in
Speaker 1: complete darkness except for a few hours a day where
Speaker 1: they're shown only horizontal black and white lines. And then
Speaker 1: a different group was shown only vertical black and white lines.
Speaker 1: They allowed their brains to develop through their adolescence, and
Speaker 1: then when their brains were more developed, their visual systems
Speaker 1: were developed, they put them in a normal environment with
Speaker 1: chairs and tables and all the things. And what they
Speaker 1: found was that the kittens that were raised to only
Speaker 1: see horizontal lines, they couldn't see vertical objects. They would
Speaker 1: bump into table legs and chair legs because their brains
Speaker 1: weren't programmed or wired to see them. The brain develops
Speaker 1: in a way that helps us survive in our environment
Speaker 1: that we grew up in. And so the kittens that
Speaker 1: could only see the vertical lines as they were raised,
Speaker 1: they could see they would weave in and out of
Speaker 1: table legs and chair legs and all that, but they
Speaker 1: wouldn't jump up up onto tabletops or you know, chairs
Speaker 1: to perch the way that the kittens that were raised
Speaker 1: to see horizontal lines would. And so I think that,
Speaker 1: you know, that study kind of really showed me that
Speaker 1: if the way that kittens were raised kind of determined
Speaker 1: what they could then see or perceive in their reality,
Speaker 1: Like what am I missing in my life because of
Speaker 1: the way that my brain is wired and the way
Speaker 1: that I was programmed by my environment? And I think
Speaker 1: that's where sort of certain activities like shadow were kind
Speaker 1: of come in. But recognizing that you really can only
Speaker 1: see in your reality what your brain is wired for,
Speaker 1: and so that job, that relationship, that thing that you're
Speaker 1: trying to make or create into your life, you it
Speaker 1: might be right in front of you, but you're missing
Speaker 1: it because your brain is not programmed to see it
Speaker 1: or construct it.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: And it's super cool because there was someone who came
Speaker 1: to my masterclass. I host free master classes, and he
Speaker 1: he said he had been searching for a job for
Speaker 1: two years, and two weeks after the masterclass, he got
Speaker 1: his dream job. And to me, it's just it's a
Speaker 1: really cool example, but also a real like when you
Speaker 1: wire your brain to become a match, and so that's
Speaker 1: what it's really it's all about. It's sort of that
Speaker 1: like neuroscience meets law of attraction sort of situation where
Speaker 1: when you wire your brain to become a match so
Speaker 1: that it can actually construct the experience that you're wanting
Speaker 1: to experience, that's when you can see it. And that's
Speaker 1: why I say, like you need to act like it
Speaker 1: or you need to be it before you can see it.
Speaker 1: It's because the brain has to be a match for
Speaker 1: it in order to even construct whatever it is. Like
Speaker 1: you can be in the best relationship ever, but make
Speaker 1: it toxic or you know it won't you won't be
Speaker 1: perceiving it as that if you're brain isn't wired to
Speaker 1: be in a healthy relationship. And so I think it
Speaker 1: really is about rewiring your brain so that you can
Speaker 1: perceive the things that you want. And so for me,
Speaker 1: that's what manifestation is all about. For me, manifestations and
Speaker 1: it is I guess an entire it is a mental game.
Speaker 1: It is about rewiring your brain so that you can
Speaker 1: become a match to whatever it is that you want.
Speaker 1: But then of course that requires action. You don't rewiring
Speaker 1: your brain. Yes, it can be done through visualization and
Speaker 1: all of that, but a lot of the circuitry, like
Speaker 1: habit formation, all that, a lot of it comes from
Speaker 1: action and from doing. And so I do think that
Speaker 1: of course it requires action, but taking aligned action and when,
Speaker 1: And I think that it's important to recognize that when
Speaker 1: when you have action but your brain isn't programmed to
Speaker 1: see it, then you'll be taking action for a long time.
Speaker 1: You might achieve it, you might not. But when and
Speaker 1: when you're of course only doing the brain component, or
Speaker 1: the energetic component of it, the mental component, you might
Speaker 1: become this great thing. But then it's going to take
Speaker 1: action for you to go. And I think that when
Speaker 1: you have both your brain as programmed for whatever it
Speaker 1: is that you want, and you're taking action toward what
Speaker 1: you want, then that's when you become completely unstoppable.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so interesting to hear about the exposure of
Speaker 2: the kittens. Yeah, what they had the vertical and horizontal lines.
Speaker 2: I remember I was coaching someone a few years back
Speaker 2: and they told me that the richest person they knew
Speaker 2: made one hundred thousand dollars a year. And so then
Speaker 2: I introduced them to someone who made one hundred thousand
Speaker 2: dollars a month, and they were like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I didn't know you could make one hundred thousand dollars
Speaker 2: a month. Then I introduced them to someone who made
Speaker 2: one hundred thousand dollars a day, and then they're like, oh,
Speaker 2: wait a minute, Like, I didn't know you could make
Speaker 2: one hundred thousand dollars a day. And then I introduced
Speaker 2: them to someone who makes one hundred thousand dollars an hour.
Speaker 2: And it was just incredible to watch their mind expand
Speaker 2: because it was just a glitch almost in their belief
Speaker 2: system of what was possible. And that wasn't about that
Speaker 2: person wanting to become really rich or wealthy. It was
Speaker 2: just about the idea of can you expand the mind
Speaker 2: out enough to be exposed to something that it hasn't
Speaker 2: seen before and heard before, and all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: the person since being able to wire differently and being
Speaker 2: able to conceptualize dreams and businesses and ideas that they
Speaker 2: never have because they just weren't aware. And I always
Speaker 2: think about that, like, what's the prison that we've created
Speaker 2: for ourselves? Yeah, no matter how big your world is,
Speaker 2: or how small your world is, it just ends up
Speaker 2: being that size. And it's hard to do that if
Speaker 2: you haven't left your town or met someone outside of
Speaker 2: your landscape, or met someone in a different career path.
Speaker 2: I mean, I talk about it all the time. Growing up,
Speaker 2: I didn't know anyone who looked like me who worked
Speaker 2: in media or was on television or worked in.
Speaker 3: Any sort of way. I just didn't see anyone.
Speaker 2: And if you haven't seen it, it's so hard to
Speaker 2: experience it or dream to become it because you just
Speaker 2: think people like you don't do that right exactly.
Speaker 1: And that's why I'm really big on normalizing your dreams
Speaker 1: to yourself, because yeah, exactly, if your brain hasn't been
Speaker 1: exposed to it, it's going to be really hard to
Speaker 1: honestly even set the goal for yourself to be it
Speaker 1: or have it. And you know, I've definitely had people
Speaker 1: like my business partner and fiance. He definitely should me
Speaker 1: a lot on the business side of things that I
Speaker 1: had never experienced before, and I was like, well, there's
Speaker 1: a whole different world out there that I didn't even
Speaker 1: know existed. But then also kind of more in the
Speaker 1: content creation space and like meeting people when I did.
Speaker 1: I'm big into moving and I love that you said
Speaker 1: that if you haven't been outside of your hometown, because
Speaker 1: for me, moving is just an incredible way to level
Speaker 1: up your life. And I love to talk about the
Speaker 1: brain also being an association machine. So the brain loves
Speaker 1: to make connections and associations between things, and when you
Speaker 1: move into a new environment, the brain has no prior
Speaker 1: associations to anything. It's like it's a clean slate, and
Speaker 1: so it's really easy to establish a new identity or
Speaker 1: sort of new beliefs or a new mindset in a
Speaker 1: new environment because your brain has no prior associations to
Speaker 1: kind of hold you back in that past version of yourself,
Speaker 1: and so it's really easy to start anew But yeah,
Speaker 1: and love I love going and putting myself in environments
Speaker 1: where I'm being around people or places or things that
Speaker 1: are expanding my mind. It's an incredible way to level
Speaker 1: up in your life and in your mindset and in
Speaker 1: your ability to even set goals for yourself because I
Speaker 1: think for a long time, for me, I didn't even
Speaker 1: know what I wanted to do or be or have.
Speaker 1: I didn't I didn't know like I didn't know any
Speaker 1: of it, and so I think exposing myself to that,
Speaker 1: And like when I moved across the country to Miami,
Speaker 1: I didn't know a single person there, but being around
Speaker 1: certain people I knew, I was like, you know this person.
Speaker 1: Not necessarily do they resonate with me, but I know
Speaker 1: that they were brought into my reality to show me
Speaker 1: what's possible, and it really did expand my mind. So
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for that.
Speaker 2: How do we manifest based on neuroscience? How would neuroscience
Speaker 2: suggest we do that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I have a three set process.
Speaker 3: I love them, I know you, I.
Speaker 1: Love me, some steps and making it simple. That goes
Speaker 1: back to my scientists days. So when it comes to manifesting,
Speaker 1: it really is the same thing for anything that you want.
Speaker 1: So the first step is to be is to identify
Speaker 1: the feelings. Identify the feelings that you believe the thing
Speaker 1: that you want is going to bring you. I always say,
Speaker 1: you don't want the thing that you want, You want
Speaker 1: the feeling that you believe the thing that you want
Speaker 1: is going to bring you. So, for example, if you
Speaker 1: are wanting a relationship, then you might the feeling you
Speaker 1: might be after is to be loved and feel safe
Speaker 1: and supported. If you're wanting a whole bunch of money,
Speaker 1: it might be freedom. It might be security again, safety
Speaker 1: and security and freedom, whatever it is, right, So those
Speaker 1: are a few examples. But whatever it is that you want,
Speaker 1: write down whatever it is that you want, and then
Speaker 1: write down the feelings that you believe those things that
Speaker 1: you want are going to bring you. It's super important
Speaker 1: to identify the feelings. And I get a lot of
Speaker 1: questions from people like what if I don't know what
Speaker 1: I want? If you don't know what you want, that's
Speaker 1: it's fine. You can still write down the feelings that
Speaker 1: you want because I think a lot of times maybe
Speaker 1: we don't know. And I think a lot of times
Speaker 1: also we think we know what we want, but we
Speaker 1: don't really know what we want, but it really is
Speaker 1: the feeling that we're after. And so identify the feelings.
Speaker 1: That's the first step. Identify the feelings and write them down,
Speaker 1: and then from there make two lists. The first list
Speaker 1: is a list of reasons why you already have to
Speaker 1: feel that way, and so for example, for me, I
Speaker 1: actually held a manifestation workshop in my community and I
Speaker 1: was I always use personal examples, so mine was a
Speaker 1: million followers on Instagram, and I didn't have it at
Speaker 1: the time, and I live on that call. I realized, Oh,
Speaker 1: what I'm really after is feeling official and accomplished, Like
Speaker 1: I want to feel official and accomplished. That's really what
Speaker 1: I want. And so then I identified those feelings, right,
Speaker 1: And so then the next step is to write a
Speaker 1: list of reasons I already have to feel that way.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times again, our brain isn't
Speaker 1: even letting us acknowledge that we actually can already feel
Speaker 1: that way in the present. And I was like, I
Speaker 1: already have this business, I'm coaching people, I'm changing lives,
Speaker 1: I have a giant follow on social media, even if
Speaker 1: it's not a million. I have a lot of reasons
Speaker 1: to feel official and accomplished already, and writing a list
Speaker 1: of all those reasons down. And I have people in
Speaker 1: my community that they print out their resume and put
Speaker 1: it in their bathroom mirror, like all of the things
Speaker 1: that they've done right to make them feel that way.
Speaker 1: But write down a list of the reasons why you
Speaker 1: already have to feel that way. And then the second
Speaker 1: list is a list of things right. So sometimes people
Speaker 1: will be like, well, I don't have any reason to
Speaker 1: feel that way, which to that I would argue. To that,
Speaker 1: I would argue, try harder. But there is another list,
Speaker 1: and the list is a list of things that you
Speaker 1: can give yourself that you are in control over to
Speaker 1: feel that way. So, if I'm trying to feel official
Speaker 1: and accomplished, what can I do today to make myself
Speaker 1: feel more accomplished? Well, for me, I always feel accomplished
Speaker 1: after I complete a workout. I always feel like I
Speaker 1: know that I'm writing a book. I can go write
Speaker 1: a few pages of my book that will help me
Speaker 1: feel accomplished. And so again, what will help me feel official?
Speaker 1: I mean the definition what an official means to me?
Speaker 1: I guess for me, it's just like, oh, I made it,
Speaker 1: and I guess that for that I could go and
Speaker 1: maybe read comments from people like saying like, oh you
Speaker 1: really help me or whatever it is. So, what are
Speaker 1: some activities that you can do to give yourself that feeling?
Speaker 1: And I think combining the two is important, right because
Speaker 1: again acknowledging all the reasons why you already have to
Speaker 1: feel that way, but then also becoming more aware of
Speaker 1: things that you can do in the moment to make
Speaker 1: yourself feel that way. And when you start doing that,
Speaker 1: and after like two months after doing that practice on myself,
Speaker 1: I had a million followers on Instagram, and I do
Speaker 1: believe and know that it shifted my energy, right, Like
Speaker 1: I'm creating now from a different space of feeling more
Speaker 1: official and accomplished. And so I think that that kind
Speaker 1: of process of identifying the feelings, recognizing all the reasons
Speaker 1: you already have to feel that way, and then becoming
Speaker 1: aware of things that you can do to help yourself
Speaker 1: feel that way even more. When you start doing that,
Speaker 1: now you have the feelings that you want already, and
Speaker 1: now you're in a place where you can also be
Speaker 1: detached from the outcome. It's not going to stop you. You
Speaker 1: should still go and work toward the thing that you're wanting, right.
Speaker 1: But that's how you rewire your brain. And so that's
Speaker 1: sort of the neuroscience component. Of course, we could go
Speaker 1: way deeper into this and talk about this for hours,
Speaker 1: but this is sort of like my short, condensed three
Speaker 1: step neuroscience component to becoming a match to whatever it
Speaker 1: is that you want. And now when you're going and
Speaker 1: working toward the journey, When I was going and working
Speaker 1: toward a million followers. Now I'm working toward it with
Speaker 1: a different energy. I'm working toward it as a match
Speaker 1: to whatever it is that I want.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that match piece is brilliant. I love the way
Speaker 2: you broke that down. I think we all forget how
Speaker 2: many difficult things we've already done, and how many amazing
Speaker 2: barriers that we've already broken through, and how many challenges
Speaker 2: we've already overcome. And if you just took a moment
Speaker 2: to recognize that, you'd feel so confident, because each and
Speaker 2: everyone person who's listening to us has been through Helen
Speaker 2: Back in their own way, and that experience is something
Speaker 2: we kind of take for granted. We don't realize how
Speaker 2: hard it was because to us it was normal, right.
Speaker 2: We don't recognize just how much beauty there Isn't it?
Speaker 2: That's brilliant. Do you believe that you can miss something
Speaker 2: was meant for you?
Speaker 3: Don't?
Speaker 1: I don't believe that you can miss something that's meant
Speaker 1: for you, because I think that really we are on
Speaker 1: this journey to learn lessons and level up in our
Speaker 1: own little game of life, and so I don't believe that.
Speaker 1: And I think that if there is something that you
Speaker 1: think that you missed out on, that you believe was
Speaker 1: meant for you. I think that I'm a firm believer
Speaker 1: in divine timing, So everything happens in divine timing, maybe
Speaker 1: not at that time, but it will come around and
Speaker 1: cycle back. I think that also life happens in these
Speaker 1: sort of cycles where every time you level up or
Speaker 1: just you know, you'll still see the same situation over
Speaker 1: and over again. So I don't think that you can
Speaker 1: miss something that was meant for you if you're not
Speaker 1: a match for whatever it is that you want, I
Speaker 1: do think that you can miss it, but then in
Speaker 1: that case, it wasn't meant for you in that time.
Speaker 2: At that time, I think you were talking about how
Speaker 2: if you judge someone, you can internalize those same things
Speaker 2: that you're judging about them. And I really like that
Speaker 2: you brought that out because I think one of the
Speaker 2: other biggest distractions right now is actually jealousy, comparison, gossip.
Speaker 2: There's a sense of like, we'll talk about the person,
Speaker 2: and it's what you said, was your fear with even
Speaker 2: becoming more public and being more vulnerable, is that people
Speaker 2: put themselves out there, then other people point to them
Speaker 2: either make fun of it or call it cringe or
Speaker 2: whatever it may be, and then we don't realize we're
Speaker 2: actually just setting ourselves up for failure too, because then
Speaker 2: we're not able to put ourselves out there. Talk to
Speaker 2: me about what do we do with feelings of jealousy
Speaker 2: and comparison when they're so human, they're natural for us
Speaker 2: all to feel, But how do we transform them into
Speaker 2: something actually useful for us rather than something unhealthy?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think for jealousy a huge thing that I
Speaker 1: would do when I first I don't remember where I
Speaker 1: learned this from, but I have a mantra or a
Speaker 1: statement that I say, and when I see somebody with
Speaker 1: something that I want, I say, that's for me. And
Speaker 1: I think jealousy a lot of time is it is
Speaker 1: just fear with a mask. It's fear that we can't
Speaker 1: have it too. It's fear that this person can achieve
Speaker 1: this goal or have this thing and I can't have it,
Speaker 1: and so I'm going to be jealous of them. And
Speaker 1: I think that it is sort of a limiting belief
Speaker 1: and a limiting kind of mindset and behavior to be
Speaker 1: jealous of somebody, because you're basically telling your brain that
Speaker 1: you can't have it. Whenever you're jealous of someone, you're
Speaker 1: basically reinforcing to yourself that's not for me. And so
Speaker 1: recognizing that that when you're jealous of someone, you're teaching
Speaker 1: your brain that's not for me, then you're like, oh, wow,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that anymore. I want I'm
Speaker 1: gonna teach my brain. And I think that a lot
Speaker 1: of times we are shown things in reality to see them,
Speaker 1: and when our brain is triggered it by this thing,
Speaker 1: it's because we actually want it too, and it's to
Speaker 1: be shown something that we can then go and work toward.
Speaker 1: And so I started saying to myself, that's for me.
Speaker 1: And I remember actually when I first moved to Miami
Speaker 1: and I was on the beach and I went on
Speaker 1: the beach and there's this couple having the super romantic
Speaker 1: like picnic on the sand, and I was very saying
Speaker 1: and I just like I remember looking at them, and
Speaker 1: I took a video. I was like, that's for me,
Speaker 1: and just like being so took a creepy video from Afar,
Speaker 1: like that's for me too. And it's really cool though,
Speaker 1: because I think maybe it was about a year later
Speaker 1: that I'm less than that. Actually that I met my
Speaker 1: fiance and then we were both in Florida and we
Speaker 1: were doing that, So it's super cool how that works.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think recognizing that you don't want to
Speaker 1: teach your brain that you're limited in that way, like
Speaker 1: teach your brain that that's possible for you too, and
Speaker 1: so recognizing that that's really what jealousy is is just
Speaker 1: fear with a mask.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I really like the idea of that's for me,
Speaker 2: and the idea that when you are jealous of someone,
Speaker 2: it's actually saying that's not for me, and that is
Speaker 2: the emotion that blocks you because and then you justify it.
Speaker 2: You come up with so many reasons for why you
Speaker 2: don't like what that person's doing, or so many reasons
Speaker 2: for why you deserve that and they don't, but none
Speaker 2: of that actually motivates you to get out there. How
Speaker 2: much do you believe that our matching is feeling we're
Speaker 2: worthy of something or deserving of something, Like when you
Speaker 2: say that's for me, that's you saying like, well, I
Speaker 2: deserve a love like that, I deserve a picnic on
Speaker 2: the beach like that. How much how much do we
Speaker 2: struggle what's happening in the brain when we're struggling with
Speaker 2: feeling worthy or deserving of that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it really is just a worthiness component
Speaker 1: to it. And I think that there are different components
Speaker 1: to achieving whatever it is that we want or having
Speaker 1: whatever it is we want, Like believing that it's possible
Speaker 1: is huge, but also believing that you are deserving and
Speaker 1: worthy of it. And worthiness comes down to self love
Speaker 1: and knowing yourself, and I think self love really is
Speaker 1: one of the biggest components to all of this that
Speaker 1: we're talking about today, and loving yourself and so and
Speaker 1: loving yourself is about more than just like doing self
Speaker 1: love practices. It's also about knowing yourself and knowing who
Speaker 1: you are and in the light parts and also in
Speaker 1: the dark parts, and giving yourself grace and also accepting
Speaker 1: all that you are and accepting every single piece of yourself.
Speaker 1: And so when it comes to self love, of course,
Speaker 1: there are so many I mean, the first thing on that,
Speaker 1: what I would say is really your self talk and
Speaker 1: recognizing how you're talking to yourself is so important. But
Speaker 1: I've seen insane shifts in my own life when I
Speaker 1: have decided that I'm worthy of something and a lot
Speaker 1: of times we don't. Again, it's sort of that on
Speaker 1: that same playing field of getting specific about your fears,
Speaker 1: like getting specific about your limiting beliefs and where you
Speaker 1: are limiting yourself. And I think that worthiness is a
Speaker 1: big component to that, and so recognizing that you are
Speaker 1: worthy of whatever it is that you want is so important.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I mean you can, of course, like make
Speaker 1: a list of all the reasons why you deserve it
Speaker 1: and why you are worthy of it, and that's great,
Speaker 1: but also like it really can just be a decision
Speaker 1: to decide that I am worthy of this, like I
Speaker 1: am worthy of this, and I do deserve it, and
Speaker 1: really like stepping into that. And if you don't believe
Speaker 1: that you're worthy of it, then that's again an area
Speaker 1: where you can take it all the way to the
Speaker 1: end and ask yourself why, like why don't I believe
Speaker 1: that I'm worthy of this? And then getting clear on
Speaker 1: that and getting clear on your why, and then again
Speaker 1: you can rewrite the story from there and and kind
Speaker 1: of create a new narrative around whether or not you're
Speaker 1: worthy of something. But back when I rouse in the PhD,
Speaker 1: I would go to this temple all the time and
Speaker 1: hang out with all these monks, and I got like
Speaker 1: really close with a couple of them, and I think
Speaker 1: one of my greatest takeaways from the time that I
Speaker 1: spent there and just learning from them and talking to
Speaker 1: them is that wanting things, wanting material things and physical things,
Speaker 1: whether it's money or a job or a relationship, whatever
Speaker 1: it is, that's it's it's not a bad thing. It's
Speaker 1: it's not bad to want to make more money. It's
Speaker 1: not bad. It's it's actually like one of the most
Speaker 1: spiritual things that you can do is to be abundant,
Speaker 1: because it's that's the state of nature is abundant. When
Speaker 1: a tree blossoms with fruit, it's abundant with fruit, and
Speaker 1: so you like, we are abundant by nature, and recoging
Speaker 1: that and that, like the divine, by nature is abundant,
Speaker 1: and so recognizing that you deserve to be abundant as well,
Speaker 1: and recognizing that honestly really helped me because before that
Speaker 1: I thought, I think this is also where a lot
Speaker 1: of like the hate or like because I've got I've
Speaker 1: seen people before say things like, oh, it's bad to
Speaker 1: want money, I don't like money, and all that. I
Speaker 1: think a lot of it comes from that place as
Speaker 1: well as like thinking that it's bad or feeling guilty
Speaker 1: or shameful for wanting to achieve it. And I think
Speaker 1: it's really important to recognize that you don't need to
Speaker 1: feel shameful or guilty for wanting things. That's actually like
Speaker 1: you came here to expand consciousness and expand along with
Speaker 1: the universe universes expanding. We're here to expand, and a
Speaker 1: lot of times that does mean to go after whatever
Speaker 1: material thing that we're wanting. And that's that's it again,
Speaker 1: it's not about the material thing. It's about who we're
Speaker 1: going to become on the journey toward achieving the material thing.
Speaker 1: But if the material thing is driving you, that's not
Speaker 1: a bad thing and you don't have to feel ashamed
Speaker 1: of it and you can actually feel worthy of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so interesting how we think of them beliefs
Speaker 2: as being I'm not good enough or I'm not smart enough.
Speaker 2: But shame and guilt can be limiting beliefs as well,
Speaker 2: like I don't I feel like if I want that,
Speaker 2: then I'm a bad person. And if I want that,
Speaker 2: then I'm not a good person, or whatever it may be.
Speaker 2: And what do we do with that? What do we
Speaker 2: do with limiting beliefs of I'm not good enough? And
Speaker 2: what do we do with the shame and guilt of
Speaker 2: maybe I'm not a good person if I want that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, So on the I'm not good enough piece, I
Speaker 1: think that's where I like to adopt the game of
Speaker 1: life mindset. When you make it to a new level
Speaker 1: of a game, you're tech you're good enough to get
Speaker 1: there because you passed the previous level and you're on
Speaker 1: this new level. But are you really good enough to
Speaker 1: play this level yet? Like? Probably no, you haven't learned
Speaker 1: the way this level works. You haven't learned the ins
Speaker 1: and outs. Usually it takes yourself, you a few tries,
Speaker 1: and you got to go and navigate and learn the
Speaker 1: rules of this new level of life and this level
Speaker 1: of the game. And so are you good enough to
Speaker 1: be on this level? Maybe not, but you're good enough
Speaker 1: to pass the previous one. And but recognizing that that's okay,
Speaker 1: Like you're not meant to be perfect at this new
Speaker 1: level yet, like you just got there, and so recognizing
Speaker 1: like for me, like I'm starting to write it, I
Speaker 1: might not be good enough to be a best selling
Speaker 1: author yet, But it's gonna be the journey that's going
Speaker 1: to make me into one. And so I think giving
Speaker 1: yourself permission, permission actually to not be good enough to
Speaker 1: do the thing. And I mean, of course, like understanding
Speaker 1: who you are and knowing yourself and and and being confident.
Speaker 1: And I think I have like a hot take when
Speaker 1: it comes to confidence that it doesn't have to You're like,
Speaker 1: confidence isn't about achievements or accomplishments. Confidence is knowing who
Speaker 1: you are. And I have a track on like all
Speaker 1: streaming platforms, I'm like, I'm not trying to plug this
Speaker 1: right now, but it's called like you don't even realize
Speaker 1: who you are. And I think for me, whenever I
Speaker 1: was first starting the journey to go into the PhD
Speaker 1: and moving to Arizona where I didn't know a single
Speaker 1: person there, I had people asking me like, aren't you afraid?
Speaker 1: Are you nervous? And I wasn't at all, and and
Speaker 1: thinking about why I wasn't. It was because I had
Speaker 1: just embarked on this journey of self improvement and knowing
Speaker 1: myself and self awareness and also like a huge spiritual
Speaker 1: journey that I was on. And I think that those
Speaker 1: two things together and this sort of trust and surrender mentality.
Speaker 1: I had trust and surrender written on sticky notes everywhere.
Speaker 1: Did I necessarily think I was good enough to be
Speaker 1: to be this like amazing scientist doing all these things.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I really believe that, but I
Speaker 1: believe that I was capable of being good enough to
Speaker 1: do it. So recognizing, of course, like innately I am worthy,
Speaker 1: but also like mentally and physically, maybe I haven't gained
Speaker 1: those skills yet, but that's okay, I don't need to
Speaker 1: have those skills yet. From there, you can really again,
Speaker 1: it all comes back to your why of why you
Speaker 1: want those things. Like for me, I don't feel shamed,
Speaker 1: like I don't feel ashamed or guilty for saying I
Speaker 1: wanted a million followers because I know that with my
Speaker 1: platform growing then I can impact and help more people
Speaker 1: and that's my overall goal. Like and so yes, of course,
Speaker 1: like I want a million followers. Honestly, if I'm being
Speaker 1: honest with myself, I want even more. And that's okay
Speaker 1: to want that, but also understanding that what is driving
Speaker 1: me to even build this from the beginning because I
Speaker 1: never even my plan was never to be a content
Speaker 1: creator in the first place, I was just becoming a scientist,
Speaker 1: and then the content about science was taking off. It
Speaker 1: really is about helping people reach their maximum potential and
Speaker 1: giving people the information that I wish I had whenever
Speaker 1: I was younger that I didn't have, and so recognizing
Speaker 1: my why and other people don't need to know that.
Speaker 1: And I think one of the things that I've had
Speaker 1: to really release on my journey is being understood and
Speaker 1: accepted by everyone. And when you are, I always say
Speaker 1: that being misunderstood is the tax that you pay for
Speaker 1: being authentic and so and authenticity is the most magnetic
Speaker 1: energy that you could possibly have, Like you are so powerful,
Speaker 1: because that's really if I have to name a purpose
Speaker 1: that can be distilled down to everyone, that is your
Speaker 1: purpose to be you, because like you came to this
Speaker 1: planet to be exactly who you are. You were made
Speaker 1: on purpose, and so that is your purpose to be you.
Speaker 1: Being yourself and being authentic is super powerful. And me
Speaker 1: kind of being myself and sharing that like that that
Speaker 1: is me just being authentic. But also I don't feel
Speaker 1: ashamed for it because I know my why and I
Speaker 1: know that it's a lot bigger than me, and I
Speaker 1: know that it's going to be like helpful for people,
Speaker 1: and that's what's driving me, you know, And there are
Speaker 1: people that and I can't speak for everyone, but there
Speaker 1: are people in my personal life that want to make
Speaker 1: more money and they are driven by money. And I
Speaker 1: think from there, it's like, okay, but what is your why?
Speaker 1: Like why do you want to make more money? And
Speaker 1: a lot of times it's okay, I want to be
Speaker 1: able to take care of my family. I want to
Speaker 1: be able to have a sense of freedom and safety
Speaker 1: and security. I don't want to have to worry about
Speaker 1: certain things, and that is completely valid and okay, And
Speaker 1: I think again, you mentioned giving yourself grace before, and
Speaker 1: that's something that I've recognized through working with people, that
Speaker 1: most people do not give themselves enough grace. We really do,
Speaker 1: and forgiveness is powerful practice forgiving others but also forgiving yourself.
Speaker 1: But I think that when it comes to feeling guilty
Speaker 1: or feeling shameful, I think thinking about it from the
Speaker 1: neuroscience perspective to kind of attack from both sides here,
Speaker 1: realizing that you learned that story and that doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that it's true. And so if you feel guilty for
Speaker 1: wanting money or a specific job. If you feel like
Speaker 1: if you feel like that makes you a bad person,
Speaker 1: realize that you learn that from somewhere and that does
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that it's truth. It means that that's
Speaker 1: what was programmed into you and from there. And this
Speaker 1: is what I tell people with limiting beliefs as well,
Speaker 1: is look for evidence of the opposite. Look for evidence
Speaker 1: of people. And I have people someone in my community
Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, there's this guy who's super rich,
Speaker 1: multi millionaire, and he uses that money and donates it
Speaker 1: to charity and does a lot of great things. And
Speaker 1: so that's a great example of someone who's gone out
Speaker 1: and made a lot of money and then used it
Speaker 1: for good. And so of course there are the opposite
Speaker 1: side of that as well, but that doesn't that doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that that's going to be you, and so recognizing
Speaker 1: that is important to.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what I appreciate is you're such a student of
Speaker 2: your own work, Like you're testing these things out in yourself,
Speaker 2: You're creating the things you wanted when you were younger.
Speaker 2: What's the work you're doing on yourself right now? Like,
Speaker 2: what are you working on and building for yourself right now?
Speaker 1: Recently I have been doing a lot of re releasing
Speaker 1: of being accepted and understood by other people. That's something
Speaker 1: that I've been writing down a lot in my journal,
Speaker 1: but also tapping back into more of my creative side.
Speaker 1: Something I live and swear by is doing morning brain dumps.
Speaker 1: So every single morning I wake up and I just
Speaker 1: I write for about thirty minutes in my journal and
Speaker 1: I just write and and it's great for a lot
Speaker 1: of reasons, but also it is a great way of
Speaker 1: practicing non judgment of yourself. If you just allow yourself
Speaker 1: to get into flow and just write in your journal
Speaker 1: without judging it, without really overthinking it, but just stream
Speaker 1: of consciousness writing, it's really kind of priming your brain
Speaker 1: for flow for the rest of the day as well
Speaker 1: as well as you know, practicing no judge but of
Speaker 1: yourself and getting into more of a creative state. But
Speaker 1: also it's a really great way to observe your own
Speaker 1: patterns too, So I love kind of analyzing myself in
Speaker 1: that way. But that's really something that I've been tapping into.
Speaker 1: And also I guess just really giving myself more grace
Speaker 1: because the past few weeks have been insane in my life,
Speaker 1: like we're we just closed on house and we're moving
Speaker 1: and getting engaged in all that, and I think, like
Speaker 1: I was telling you, the house is a mess. We
Speaker 1: don't have furniture, and there's a lot going on, But
Speaker 1: recognizing that the messy middle is proof of growth, and
Speaker 1: sometimes the in between stages mean that you're growing and
Speaker 1: leveling up, and so giving myself grace and that as
Speaker 1: well as and recognizing like, Okay, yeah, things are not
Speaker 1: put together right now, like we are not settled, I
Speaker 1: feel displaced, I feel a little bit all over the place,
Speaker 1: But recognizing that that means that I'm in a journey
Speaker 1: of leveling up and is a good sort of mindset
Speaker 1: to have while doing this. So I would say that
Speaker 1: those are really some of the key things that I'm working.
Speaker 1: I'm kind of acknowledging and wiring into my brain right now.
Speaker 2: You're releasing the need to be accepted by people. What
Speaker 2: is the part of you that is crave to be
Speaker 2: accepted that you're trying to release?
Speaker 1: So I think for me, I guess me understanding my
Speaker 1: why and understanding that I really am here to just
Speaker 1: help people in every way that I can. It's sort
Speaker 1: of tough when you see comments or get dms from people,
Speaker 1: and I mean people have negative things to say or
Speaker 1: they pick on like certain things like oh I can't
Speaker 1: believe that you would do this or whatever, and it's
Speaker 1: just like damn, Like I'm trying so hard to be
Speaker 1: like a positive force for good. No matter what I do,
Speaker 1: it seems like some And so I've recognized sort of
Speaker 1: recently that maybe it's having a little more effect on
Speaker 1: me than I would like it too, and so becoming
Speaker 1: aware of that and now also recognizing that I think
Speaker 1: a big thing that I've realized, and I guess another
Speaker 1: thing that I've been working on a lot lately is
Speaker 1: play and being in my joy more. Because actually we
Speaker 1: were in Sedona a couple of weeks ago, and it
Speaker 1: was funny because and this is you had mentioned a
Speaker 1: little bit about the videos, like what you put out
Speaker 1: and what you put onto people is actually mirrored in
Speaker 1: your brain and you're really putting it onto yourself. But
Speaker 1: I went to this like or reading thing and Alex
Speaker 1: he asked me, he was like, what color is my
Speaker 1: or going to be? And I told him brown, and
Speaker 1: he's like, what's your gold Mine's gonna be gold? And
Speaker 1: we go there and mine was brown. And it really
Speaker 1: is true, like you get what you give and there's
Speaker 1: tons of neuroscience behind Yeah it was gold. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: it really is like I mean obviously like and you
Speaker 1: kind of mentioned it a little bit, but when you
Speaker 1: when you talk about badly about other people or just
Speaker 1: make any sort of comments, like you are activating those
Speaker 1: pathways in your brain, and so your brain isn't necessarily
Speaker 1: even making the difference that it's about someone else. You're
Speaker 1: just focusing on that emotion and you're focusing on negativity
Speaker 1: or complaining. And for me it's like, okay, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: focusing on that brown aura. But really what I was
Speaker 1: told and that was like you need to be pouring
Speaker 1: into yourself more, like you're pouring into a lot of
Speaker 1: other people, and you need to be pouring back into
Speaker 1: yourself more. And I've come to recognize that the comparison,
Speaker 1: the jealousy, being bothered by what other people have to say,
Speaker 1: it has a lot less of an effect when you're
Speaker 1: actually really enjoying your life and so pouring back into
Speaker 1: myself more and spending more time in play and like
Speaker 1: going on my ripstick and going hiking and playing with
Speaker 1: my dog but allowing myself to actually be in my
Speaker 1: joy more often and pouring more into myself is actually
Speaker 1: something that I've been doing more often that I kind
Speaker 1: of fell off of doing, and it I think that's
Speaker 1: one way that I am kind of lessening the effect
Speaker 1: of that, because yeah, I recognized that it was having
Speaker 1: more of an effect on me, and I have learned
Speaker 1: that those comments and what other people have to say,
Speaker 1: it really has less effect on you when you are
Speaker 1: actually truly enjoying your own life and feeling confident in yourself.
Speaker 1: That and I also had a dream. I had this
Speaker 1: dream about the neuroscience of reality and why you shouldn't
Speaker 1: listen to what other people have to say, and that actually,
Speaker 1: of course it told me everything I needed to know,
Speaker 1: and I made a video about it, and it was like, basically,
Speaker 1: the neuroscience of reality and in short, is just the
Speaker 1: idea and understanding how the brain works. That your brain
Speaker 1: is constructing your entire experience of reality. Everything that you
Speaker 1: hear see like, you don't see with your eyes, you
Speaker 1: see with your brain. All your eyes do is just
Speaker 1: taken light signals and then those light signals travel through
Speaker 1: the brain where your thoughts and your emotions and your
Speaker 1: beliefs and your past. It's all incorporated before the image
Speaker 1: is even put together that you see. This is why
Speaker 1: they've they've shown differences in activity in people that when
Speaker 1: they look in the mirror like they have sort of
Speaker 1: body dysmorphia or whatever it is. They've shown differences in
Speaker 1: brain activity in those people. So it's not just that like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's on their head, but really their brain is actually
Speaker 1: constructing the image of them differently. And so this works
Speaker 1: with everything in your reality. This is just how it works.
Speaker 1: It's not just vision. Also, it's same thing with sound,
Speaker 1: all of it. And so recognizing that what that means
Speaker 1: is my brain is different than your brain. You live
Speaker 1: in a completely different world than I do because your
Speaker 1: brain is constructing the world differently. You have a different brain,
Speaker 1: and so it's constructing a different world. And this is
Speaker 1: why actually science shows that no two people see color
Speaker 1: the exact same way, because no two people have the
Speaker 1: exact same brain. I used to work in a color
Speaker 1: vision lab and I got to see how different objects
Speaker 1: and were plotted on this color map, and how different
Speaker 1: individuals would see the same color fruit And it was
Speaker 1: pretty cool to see that. But yeah, and so recognizing that, like, okay,
Speaker 1: every single person is seeing the world differently, like they're
Speaker 1: essentially living in a different reality. And so when somebody
Speaker 1: makes a comment or they say something that might be
Speaker 1: actually true for their reality, it might be true for them,
Speaker 1: that might be the world that they live in, but
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that it has to be the world
Speaker 1: that I live in, and doesn't mean that it has
Speaker 1: to be true for my reality. And so recognizing that,
Speaker 1: and of course, like everybody's on their own journey, their
Speaker 1: own timeline, their own path, they have their own programming,
Speaker 1: like the kittens, Like imagine the kittens that were raised
Speaker 1: with the horizontal lines giving giving advice to the kittens
Speaker 1: with the vertical lines, the kittens of the vertical lines,
Speaker 1: and be like, what are you talking about? That doesn't
Speaker 1: make sense at all, And that's it's the same thing
Speaker 1: for people. We're all programmed and raised differently. And that's
Speaker 1: why you know, we should take or resonates and leave
Speaker 1: what does not resonate. But also I think that that's
Speaker 1: given me a lot of reassurance, So think thankful for
Speaker 1: that dream, but it's given me a lot of reassurance
Speaker 1: on my journey of releasing that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's beautiful, Thank you for sharing that. I wanted
Speaker 2: to talk to you about love. You just go engaged
Speaker 2: two weeks ago, and you've said that you don't attract
Speaker 2: what you want. You attract what your brain is wired for.
Speaker 2: And I wanted to ask you for anyone right now
Speaker 2: who's in that space where they're like, I want to
Speaker 2: be in love, I want to find my person, but
Speaker 2: maybe they just got broken up with. What do you
Speaker 2: do when you're feeling going back to what we talked
Speaker 2: about earlier, you're almost feeling so desperate that you just
Speaker 2: want to find this person, and you keep hearing different
Speaker 2: forms of advice. Someone's like, yeah, you just got to
Speaker 2: get on the apps, you got to focus, and the
Speaker 2: other person saying, no, you'll find someone when you're least
Speaker 2: interested in looking for them. People are confused, where do
Speaker 2: they start? From a neuroscience point of view, Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I can share my story of it all. And
Speaker 1: of course it's really funny because whenever I was still dating,
Speaker 1: I used to people in my life would be like,
Speaker 1: you date like a scientist, and I absolutely did date
Speaker 1: like a scientist. So everything I like to be super
Speaker 1: intentional with the way that I do things. So whenever
Speaker 1: I would date people or go on dates or whatever,
Speaker 1: it is, like I said, you do have to be
Speaker 1: a match for it, but also you should be sort
Speaker 1: of putting yourself in positions. But so I would go
Speaker 1: on dates and stuff or whatever. And actually what ended
Speaker 1: up happening was I ended up with a list. I
Speaker 1: love lists, if that's not obvious. I ended up with
Speaker 1: a list of all the different qualities that I wanted
Speaker 1: in a partner because I became very aware and clear
Speaker 1: of what I didn't like in people and what I did,
Speaker 1: at least for myself, right, And so these weren't necessarily
Speaker 1: physical attributes, but values and different characteristics of a person.
Speaker 1: I took stock of, Okay, where am I a match
Speaker 1: to that? Where am I not? Like if I'm wanting
Speaker 1: someone that's physically active and physically healthy and into fitness
Speaker 1: and likes to eat healthy and all that, like am
Speaker 1: I living that lifestyle?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Like? Am I a match for that? And so I
Speaker 1: think that's the first step is getting super clear. And
Speaker 1: I think also understanding what you want is very important
Speaker 1: when it comes to wanting to date someone so or
Speaker 1: wanting to meet your person. That's Honestly, what I did
Speaker 1: is I would treat it like an experiment and collect
Speaker 1: data of all the different things that I valued and
Speaker 1: things that I didn't, and then on that list, recognizing like, Okay,
Speaker 1: where am I out of sync with whatever it is
Speaker 1: that I'm asking for? Am I asking for something that
Speaker 1: I'm not currently embodying, and then embodying that, And then,
Speaker 1: honestly what happened was I did give up. I did
Speaker 1: actually give up. I met my fiance literally the same
Speaker 1: week I had said to my friends I'm giving up
Speaker 1: on dating. I went through like a little bit of
Speaker 1: like a talking stage and then ended it and I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm giving up. I'm just gonna focus on
Speaker 1: my business, I'm gonna focus on content, I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna do me. And and literally I was in
Speaker 1: the middle of doing me. And you heard the story
Speaker 1: of like how we met, but we met on a
Speaker 1: work call, so I was in the process of doing me.
Speaker 1: And I think that it really does work well when
Speaker 1: it happens that way, because I met someone that was
Speaker 1: literally my perfect match, and it was really cool because
Speaker 1: I think maybe like a few weeks after we officially
Speaker 1: started dating or whatever, it was I went back and
Speaker 1: looked at the list, and he checks every single box
Speaker 1: on that list, and so it works. And I think
Speaker 1: from that for that, I also tell people like, don't
Speaker 1: ever settle, like I don't settle for a person. And
Speaker 1: it was really cool because when I it was that
Speaker 1: moment of like, oh, that's what it's supposed to feel
Speaker 1: like like that. For so long, I was like fighting
Speaker 1: to make certain things work, or like trying to like
Speaker 1: make explain myself in situations or whatever it is. But
Speaker 1: then finding that person that really understands you that you
Speaker 1: don't have to over explain yourself all the time is
Speaker 1: really incredible. But yeah, and so I guess just again
Speaker 1: getting clear on the feelings that you want. And I
Speaker 1: think when it comes to manifesting love from the neuroscience
Speaker 1: perspective of it, you do have to date yourself. And
Speaker 1: people do say that, and you do. You do have
Speaker 1: to be in love with yourself, and you do have
Speaker 1: to date yourself, and you do need to have a
Speaker 1: really good relationship with yourself because I mean, the truth
Speaker 1: is is that like relationships are like they are work
Speaker 1: and you do have to pour into them and there
Speaker 1: are going to be moments where you're gonna maybe not
Speaker 1: see it the same way, But understanding yourself and really
Speaker 1: being really confident in who you are is really important,
Speaker 1: even for the longevity of a relationship. So it's more
Speaker 1: than just about finding your person, but also making that
Speaker 1: relationship last and making it a healthy relationship. Dating yourself
Speaker 1: and really being in love with yourself and having a
Speaker 1: positive relationship with yourself is super important. So I think,
Speaker 1: of course, then again, what's the follow the three step
Speaker 1: process that I said earlier? Identify the feelings that you
Speaker 1: want the person to give you. Do you want them
Speaker 1: to make you feel safe? Do you want them to
Speaker 1: make you feel supportive? Are you making yourself feel supportive?
Speaker 1: Do you support yourself? Do you celebrate yourself? If you
Speaker 1: want someone to celebrate you, are you celebrating yourself? Because
Speaker 1: the way that it works is then if you get
Speaker 1: into a relationship, you start dating someone or whatever it is,
Speaker 1: and they don't celebrate you, if you don't celebrate yourself,
Speaker 1: you might let that slide. But if you're celebrating yourself
Speaker 1: and you're loving yourself and showing yourself all of the
Speaker 1: being for yourself, all of the things that you're wanting
Speaker 1: from someone, else then you would You wouldn't even settling,
Speaker 1: wouldn't even be in your vocabulary, because as soon as
Speaker 1: somebody didn't do something that you would do for yourself,
Speaker 1: little switch will go off and brain and be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: something is a mismatch here and it's not Maybe it's
Speaker 1: not completely a match, or maybe it's something you need
Speaker 1: to communicate, but either way, again, giving yourself all the
Speaker 1: feelings that you want to have from that person is
Speaker 1: then going to make you a match for it. And
Speaker 1: then also whenever you're dating someone that's not a match again,
Speaker 1: that's where your question of do you think that you
Speaker 1: can miss something that's meant for you? This is going
Speaker 1: to make you better at missing things that are not
Speaker 1: meant for you.
Speaker 3: What's that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been great. I've learned so much and I
Speaker 2: think we've touched on everything from manifestation to relationships, to
Speaker 2: people dealing with self doubt, to people knowing their values,
Speaker 2: getting to know themselves, being able to understand My biggest
Speaker 2: takeaway has been this idea of the mismatch of identity
Speaker 2: with goal or even identity with the person. And I
Speaker 2: think that's going to help so many people. And I
Speaker 2: love all your steps and lists keep them coming there great.
Speaker 2: But Emily, we end every episode of On Purpose with
Speaker 2: a final five. These questions have to be answered in
Speaker 2: one word or one sentence maximum for each of them.
Speaker 2: And then sometimes I'll break the rules that I'll.
Speaker 3: Let you know.
Speaker 2: So the first question is what is the best advice
Speaker 2: You've ever had or received?
Speaker 1: The best piece of advice I've ever heard or received
Speaker 1: is don't follow or do what you think you should
Speaker 1: do or what you think is going to work, but
Speaker 1: follow or do the thing that most lights you up,
Speaker 1: because that's the thing that you're going to make work
Speaker 1: in the end.
Speaker 3: Well said question number two, what is the worst advice
Speaker 3: you've ever had or received?
Speaker 1: You you have to follow this diet or you have
Speaker 1: to create content this way, you have to have this
Speaker 1: schedule for posting, you have to do this, that or
Speaker 1: the other. I think when you try to follow specific
Speaker 1: step by step pads that work for other people. And
Speaker 1: I think for the same reason of the neuroscience of
Speaker 1: reality and that you live in a different world. It
Speaker 1: might be true for somebody else's world, but it's not
Speaker 1: necessarily true for your world and your reality. And so
Speaker 1: I think any piece of advice that my answer would
Speaker 1: be any piece of advice that is calling you to
Speaker 1: go against your own intuition.
Speaker 2: The question number three, for anyone who's listening to this,
Speaker 2: when they wake up tomorrow morning, what's one thing you'd
Speaker 2: like them to try or do differently?
Speaker 1: All right, when you wake up tomorrow morning, well before
Speaker 1: you went to bed, I hope you didn't give yourself
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of cheap dopamine so that your dopamine
Speaker 1: stores can replenish themselves. But I would like them to
Speaker 1: try the three m's movement, mindset, and mindfulness. And they
Speaker 1: can be done in any order. But these three components
Speaker 1: in the morning, they make you that deeply rooted tree
Speaker 1: so that you're not swayed in the wind of life.
Speaker 1: And it can be as short as fifteen minutes, it
Speaker 1: can take you two hours for me, it depends on
Speaker 1: the day. But movement is super important. I mean, every
Speaker 1: single night, as you sleep, your brain dumps a whole
Speaker 1: bunch of waste down into your neck through the glymphatic system.
Speaker 1: If you're not moving in some way, shape or form,
Speaker 1: it will just sit there in your neck. And there's
Speaker 1: actually been some studies now showing they're linking that to
Speaker 1: Alzheimer's and cognitive decline. And so it's just super important
Speaker 1: to move your body. And back in my PhD days,
Speaker 1: whenever I was super busy, I would just hit three
Speaker 1: sun salutations like thirties, like one minute, and I would
Speaker 1: be on with that. And then mindfulness. And a lot
Speaker 1: of people ask me like, what's the difference between mindfulness
Speaker 1: and mindset? For me, mindfulness is raking the soil, and
Speaker 1: mindset is planning the seeds. So mindfulness can look like meditating,
Speaker 1: it can look like breathwork, whatever that is. And then
Speaker 1: mindset for me is setting an attention or an affirmation
Speaker 1: or whatever it is. If you do those three things
Speaker 1: in the morning, you really will set yourself up for
Speaker 1: success on a level that you might not have ever
Speaker 1: seen before.
Speaker 2: Nice a question of before, what's something that you've learned
Speaker 2: in euroscience that still shocks you or something recently that
Speaker 2: you learned that really stands out to you about us.
Speaker 1: The one thing that still shocks me that is super
Speaker 1: powerful and really important to know that I never hear
Speaker 1: anybody talk about is how the vagus nerve ties in
Speaker 1: with our ability to manifest and our intuition Yeah, So
Speaker 1: there's actually research to show that the level of our
Speaker 1: the level of how much our vegus nerve is toned,
Speaker 1: actually is connected to our intuition. And of course the
Speaker 1: vegus nerve is the tenth granial nerve and it is
Speaker 1: what is really responsible for that mind body connection. And
Speaker 1: what they've found is that not so when I say,
Speaker 1: like the vegus nerve, how toned it is, you can
Speaker 1: think of it like a muscle. So when your muscles
Speaker 1: are really toned, When your muscles are really toned, they're stronger.
Speaker 1: When your vegus nerve is really toned, it's stronger, it's better,
Speaker 1: it's better. And so when you have more vegas tone,
Speaker 1: they've actually found that your your sense of intuition is stronger,
Speaker 1: it's more accurate. But also your nervous system is more regulated,
Speaker 1: so you're in more of that kind of like rest
Speaker 1: and digest feeling of safety. You're better able to rewire
Speaker 1: your brain, you're better able to learn new things, and
Speaker 1: it's super powerful. And something that I always tell people,
Speaker 1: and I've talked about before, is just how easy it
Speaker 1: is to tone it, like right in the moment, like
Speaker 1: if you're feeling anxious, you can just start humming and
Speaker 1: humming or you know, ohm or whatever it is. It's
Speaker 1: really cool, how like ancient kind of spiritual practices are
Speaker 1: already doing it. But humming actually tones the vegas nerve,
Speaker 1: and that's one There are many ways to tone the
Speaker 1: vegas nerve, but that's one thing that you can do
Speaker 1: in real time that you'll immediately start to feel calmer
Speaker 1: and more relaxed in the moment. But yeah, and so
Speaker 1: they've shown that when your vegus nerve is not as toned,
Speaker 1: you actually have lower heart rate variability. And heart rate
Speaker 1: variability is also linked to intuition, and of course nervous
Speaker 1: system dysregulation, and so we're kind of more stuck in
Speaker 1: that fight or flight our intuition is less accurate. And
Speaker 1: so I think the vegus nerve is a kind of
Speaker 1: cool avenue to think about and talk about that I
Speaker 1: don't really hear a lot of people talking about when
Speaker 1: it comes to neuroscience.
Speaker 3: And that's huge.
Speaker 2: I've never heard that before. Yeah, that's awesome. And what
Speaker 2: are the other ways of toning it?
Speaker 1: So you've got humming, Yeah, humming ground exercise? Does it
Speaker 1: actually really cool? Gratitude practice tones of vegas nerves. But yeah,
Speaker 1: and so, and there are a lot of ways like
Speaker 1: to tone it, but exercise grounding, humming. There's actually like
Speaker 1: I had this device, which I mean they're available everywhere,
Speaker 1: but they like vibrate and through bone conduction actually can
Speaker 1: tone the vegas nerve as well. So there's a bunch
Speaker 1: of different ways to do it.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I love that. That was great. I'm glad
Speaker 3: to ask.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't I've never heard that. Fifth and final
Speaker 2: question we asked this to every guest who's ever been
Speaker 2: on the show. If you could create one law that
Speaker 2: everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be.
Speaker 1: I would say, I would want people to learn about
Speaker 1: the power of their minds. Yeah, growing up, I had
Speaker 1: so many labels and all these different like diagnosis put
Speaker 1: onto me, and I thought I was just stuck that way,
Speaker 1: and I thought that's just who I was and what
Speaker 1: I had to deal with for the rest of my life.
Speaker 1: And I had no idea that, oh, hey, like, through
Speaker 1: the power of neuroplasticity and epigenetics and all these different practices,
Speaker 1: I can not only rewire my brain, but change the
Speaker 1: way that I think and feel and behave and also
Speaker 1: change my physical health through all of that. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I would say that my law would be that people
Speaker 1: need to learn about how powerful their mind is.
Speaker 3: Is that what made you want to study in neuroscience?
Speaker 1: No, I actually found neuroscience on accident. So I was
Speaker 1: again just kind of following the rules that everybody had
Speaker 1: set out for me. I was smart and good at science,
Speaker 1: and so I just was like, okay, I should become
Speaker 1: a doctor then. And my major was actually biology. I
Speaker 1: hated it. I did not like learning about the crab
Speaker 1: cycle or photosynthesis or any of it. And so I
Speaker 1: actually went up to one of my friends and I
Speaker 1: asked him, I said, I hate biology. What should I
Speaker 1: switch my major to? And he was like, you should
Speaker 1: switch it to neuroscience. I had never even heard of
Speaker 1: neuroscience at the time, but it sounded cool, and so
Speaker 1: I switched my major. First exam I ever took, I
Speaker 1: got a one hundred, and my professor reached out to
Speaker 1: me and he was like, congratulations, you can have done better.
Speaker 1: And I responded back to his email and I was like,
Speaker 1: this is so cool to be in the research love.
Speaker 1: So I started doing research and neuroscience immediately, very early
Speaker 1: on and that's where I started to really fall in
Speaker 1: love with neuroscience and just learning about how cool the
Speaker 1: brain is, because the brain is super cool, but also
Speaker 1: all the different things that we can do with it.
Speaker 1: And then I was taking a class in undergrad about
Speaker 1: the neurobiology of drug addiction and why current treatments don't work,
Speaker 1: and it was like, they don't work because we don't
Speaker 1: actually know the problem and we're just throwing band aids
Speaker 1: on the symptoms. And that was something I really resonated
Speaker 1: with kind of growing up. That happened to me a lot,
Speaker 1: and so I was like, that's what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go and I'm gonna cure drug addiction. And
Speaker 1: so I actually I actually ended up doing the exact
Speaker 1: research that I wanted to do. I was investigating new
Speaker 1: targets to treat relapse to drug addiction, like neuropharmacology and
Speaker 1: all that, and so that's what I went to do.
Speaker 1: And I like that you mentioned, you know, being open
Speaker 1: to other pathways and stuff, because yeah, whenever I decided
Speaker 1: obviously not to be a scientist in the lab all
Speaker 1: the time anymore, I kind of didn't really know what
Speaker 1: was going to happen with that dream. But actually someone
Speaker 1: in Minecraft let me know that she's two months sober
Speaker 1: since joining, and for me, that made me. That was
Speaker 1: a full circle moment for me when I realized, oh, hey,
Speaker 1: like actually I still did the thing that I want
Speaker 1: set out to do, just in a different way than
Speaker 1: I thought I was going to be able to do it.
Speaker 1: So that's how I got into neuroscience. It wasn't on purpose,
Speaker 1: it was by accident.
Speaker 2: And what were some of the labels that you had
Speaker 2: when you were younger that you felt you wish you
Speaker 2: had this insight earlier on in life?
Speaker 3: What were those labels?
Speaker 1: Yeah, So growing up I actually dealt with a lot
Speaker 1: of physical and mental health issues. When I was eight
Speaker 1: years old, I was hospitalized with E coli and then
Speaker 1: from then on I really struggled with my health. I
Speaker 1: was in and out of doctor's offices all the time
Speaker 1: I was there. At one point in high school, I
Speaker 1: was going to like the emergency room. I remember having
Speaker 1: to leave a haircut halfway through because I had to
Speaker 1: go to the emergency room. So I had like like pcos,
Speaker 1: like hormonal imbalance, all the different kind of physical things.
Speaker 1: Then mentally, you know, like depression ADHD all the just
Speaker 1: one doctor labeled me as bipolar, like a lot of
Speaker 1: different things, and knowing now what I know, like I
Speaker 1: was a teenage girl, like going through a lot of
Speaker 1: hormonal changes and not being supported and so you know,
Speaker 1: and of course, like I think, especially with many other things,
Speaker 1: and I think especially with the ADHD component, but also now,
Speaker 1: like I was talking to my grandma on the phone
Speaker 1: recently and she had asked me, like, oh, how's your health?
Speaker 1: And I honestly hadn't thought about it in a long time.
Speaker 1: And that's when I realized, whoa Like, not only have
Speaker 1: I healed my mind, but I've really healed from the
Speaker 1: inside out. And I think for me, I thought that
Speaker 1: I was gonna have to be on all these medications
Speaker 1: the rest of my life. I thought I was gonna
Speaker 1: just like I really struggled with like and I think
Speaker 1: something with ADHD that a lot of people don't talk
Speaker 1: about is it's not just an ability to focus and
Speaker 1: being distracted. It's like, Okay, if you're bad at controlling
Speaker 1: your impulses, I personally also was bad at controlling my
Speaker 1: impulse of emotions, and so I was super emotional. This
Speaker 1: is a whole bunch of things. And so I think
Speaker 1: for me, I wish that I someone was like, hey,
Speaker 1: you can actually start to train your brain to be
Speaker 1: better at focusing and being less impulsive. Like for me,
Speaker 1: meditation gave me superpowers, and I mean that in every
Speaker 1: aspect of it, like also like of course with the
Speaker 1: brain and focusing and training my ability to focus and
Speaker 1: all of that, but also to be able to tap
Speaker 1: into my intuition and to be able to tap into
Speaker 1: all that is and all that and just get downloads
Speaker 1: and answers and all of that. So I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: I wish that when it comes to all, Like to
Speaker 1: answer your question of what labels, there are so many,
Speaker 1: and I just wish that somebody would have come and
Speaker 1: told me, hey, you can change. You do have the
Speaker 1: power to change, because I thought I was stuck like
Speaker 1: that and I thought that there was something wrong with me.
Speaker 2: Well that's so powerful. I love hearing that because I think,
Speaker 2: right now, that's exactly what every young person's being told.
Speaker 2: And we hear those diagnosis and they're useful, but then
Speaker 2: we end up creating a story around them as well.
Speaker 2: Can achieve who we can be, how much we can
Speaker 2: focus what's possible for us, and your living proof that
Speaker 2: you can go on to not only heal from the
Speaker 2: inside out, but to actually go and have goals and
Speaker 2: targets and win and achieve and build a healthy life,
Speaker 2: which I think is so inspiring for so many disease
Speaker 2: So that's awesome.
Speaker 3: Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, of course I love that.
Speaker 2: Well, everyone's been listening and watching. Make sure you go
Speaker 2: and tag me and Emily with all the incredible insights
Speaker 2: that she shared. Any advice that stood out to you,
Speaker 2: Anything you're going to try out, anything you're going to
Speaker 2: journal about, Go and follow em on the brain on
Speaker 2: Instagram if you don't already, and across social media, and
Speaker 2: you can follow mindcraft as well, which is Emily's community platform.
Speaker 2: Check that out as well, Emily. Anything else anywhere else
Speaker 2: you'd like people to discover you, follow you, find you?
Speaker 1: Oh no, those are the main those are the main accounts.
Speaker 1: So thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2: Of course, of course, and I'm sure we get to
Speaker 2: welcome Emily back when her book's ready. She's already an author.
Speaker 2: We have a back d Yeah, such a pleasure talking
Speaker 2: to Emily. I learned so much and thank you for
Speaker 2: being such an incredible instrument and vessel for neuroscience and
Speaker 2: spirituality and mindset. It's incredible what you're doing and I'm
Speaker 2: such a fan. So congratulations.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been great. Thank you for having me. This
Speaker 1: has been awesome.
Speaker 3: Thanks for what.
Speaker 2: If you love this episode, you'll enjoy my interview with
Speaker 2: doctor Daniel Ahman on how to change your life by
Speaker 2: changing your brain.
Speaker 4: If we want a healthy mind, it actually starts with
Speaker 4: a healthy brain. You know. I've had the blessing or
Speaker 4: the curse to scam over a thousand convicted felons and
Speaker 4: over one hundred murderers, and their brains are very damaged.