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Speaker 1: The big reason why a lot of people stay stuck

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Speaker 1: is that we are actually subconsciously afraid of what it

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Speaker 1: might look like if we succeed at doing it. Get

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Speaker 1: specific about your goals, but get specific about your fears.

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Speaker 2: Hey, everyone, welcome back to on Purpose, the place you

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Speaker 2: come to listen, learn and grow and become happier, healthier,

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Speaker 2: and more healed. Today's guest is Emily McDonald, neuroscientist and

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Speaker 2: founder of Mindcraft Neuroscience back tools to rewire your brain

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Speaker 2: and master your reality. Emily shares how understanding the brain

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Speaker 2: can help you break free from limiting patterns, manage your

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Speaker 2: emotions more effectively, and consciously create the life you want.

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Speaker 2: This conversation will help you see how real change starts

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Speaker 2: from within and how rewiring your brain can transform your reality.

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Speaker 2: Please welcome to on Purpose, Emily McDonald. Emily, it's great

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Speaker 2: to have you here.

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Speaker 1: It's so amazing to be here. Thank you for having me.

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Speaker 2: I love following you on social media. I feel like

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Speaker 2: I learned so much. I have so many friends who

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Speaker 2: live and swear by your page, and so have you

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Speaker 2: here now is awesome. And again, congratulations and all your success.

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Speaker 2: I know you just got engaged as well, So thank

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Speaker 2: you congratulations on that is wonderful to meet your fiance.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, but let's start straight in.

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Speaker 2: If someone was to listen to our conversation today and

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Speaker 2: apply the things you have to say, how would their

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Speaker 2: life change.

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Speaker 1: I'd like to say that it can and will change

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Speaker 1: in every single aspect that you apply it to. I

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Speaker 1: think that And you know, actually, one of my students

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Speaker 1: in Mindecraft she joined a few months ago and she

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Speaker 1: I asked her, I said, in which ways do you

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Speaker 1: think that your life has changed since joining? And she said,

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Speaker 1: every single aspect of her life has changed. And I

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Speaker 1: think that the principles that I teach and I coach

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Speaker 1: on and that I practice, I think they really can

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Speaker 1: be applied to every single area of your life. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think it just depends on you and what you

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Speaker 1: choose and what you intend, right, So it's all about

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Speaker 1: intention there, and it's like if you want to apply

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Speaker 1: to relationships, you can, but also just being more in

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Speaker 1: control of your brain. I like to make the analogy

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Speaker 1: of if you are driving a car down the road

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Speaker 1: and you don't know how that car works, if it

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Speaker 1: breaks down, you don't know how to fix it. You'll

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Speaker 1: be stuck there, right. And I have a story of

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Speaker 1: like my car breaking down. My brother, Luckily he's a

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Speaker 1: mechanical engineer, and I called him. He's like, oh, poor

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Speaker 1: water in this oneman hole or whatever, and I could

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Speaker 1: be on my merry way. Right, I got home safely.

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Speaker 1: But if you don't know how and the brain works

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Speaker 1: the same way, right, So let's say you're stressed out,

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Speaker 1: or you are overwhelmed, or you're struggling to focus or

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Speaker 1: whatever it is. If you don't know how your brain works,

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Speaker 1: you might be stuck. But when you know how your

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Speaker 1: brain works, you can then use that knowledge and apply

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Speaker 1: it to whatever area you're really struggling with. So that

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Speaker 1: I think that it really can be applied to many

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Speaker 1: different areas of your life.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I love that analogy. I've had many a

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Speaker 2: time in my life a car that's broken down on me.

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Speaker 2: Not been a mechanical engineer. Yeah, I pushed my car up.

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Speaker 2: And that's what it sometimes feels like for people. I

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Speaker 2: feel like people feel that they're fighting against their brain,

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Speaker 2: they're breaking down their mind, they're trying to push forward,

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Speaker 2: and they just feel stuck. I feel like so many

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Speaker 2: people listening right now feel stuck in their job, they

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Speaker 2: feel stuck in a bad relationship, they feel stuck looking

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Speaker 2: for a career. If someone feels stuck, what do they

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Speaker 2: need to understand about the brain in order to start

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Speaker 2: the process to get unstuck.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So I think that feeling of being stuck, it's

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Speaker 1: really quite natural. When you think about neuroscience and your biology.

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Speaker 1: The brain loves to keep you in what is safe

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Speaker 1: and normal to you. The brain is also, I like

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Speaker 1: to call it a prediction machine, So we don't necessarily

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Speaker 1: experience reality. We experience, you know, our brains sort of

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Speaker 1: filtering everything we see here feel touched, but also predicting

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Speaker 1: what's about to happen. And that's why a lot of times,

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Speaker 1: you know, we feel like anxious or whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: it has to do with the brain's predicting kind of

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Speaker 1: something that's upcoming. And so I think that feeling of

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Speaker 1: being stuck is quite normal and natural. And I just

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Speaker 1: want to say that first. But also understanding which area

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Speaker 1: you're stuck in, right, And I'm going to take it

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Speaker 1: an interesting direction right now, but I like to talk

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Speaker 1: about procrastination because it's a good example of feeling stuck. Right, So,

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Speaker 1: if you are. Let's say you have a goal and

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Speaker 1: you're like, like starting a podcast, and you're like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I want to do it, and then you're procrastinating it. Right,

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Speaker 1: So I always say that there are three reasons why

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Speaker 1: people procrastinate, and the first reason is there's an identity

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Speaker 1: sort of mismatch. And what I mean by that is

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Speaker 1: that you don't like your sense of self and who

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Speaker 1: you believe that you are doesn't match with you working

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Speaker 1: toward the goal of launching a podcast. And this actually

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Speaker 1: kind of resonated with me personally whenever I was starting

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Speaker 1: to write a book. I was procrastinating writing my book,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, why am I doing this? I

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Speaker 1: know it's a goal, I know I want to do it,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know why I'm procross And the default

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Speaker 1: mode network in the brain is really what's at play here.

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Speaker 1: So the default mode network is really appropriately named because

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Speaker 1: it kind of helps to regulate and propel our default

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Speaker 1: mode of behavior. Right, So it's responsible for our default

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Speaker 1: mode of being and doing, but it's also responsible for

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Speaker 1: our sense of self and constructing the narrative or the

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Speaker 1: story of our lives. And so if your sense of

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Speaker 1: self doesn't match if your identity doesn't match whatever it

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Speaker 1: is that you're trying to do, then your default mode

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Speaker 1: network is not really going to be helping you do

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Speaker 1: the behaviors or take the action toward starting a podcast.

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Speaker 1: And so I always tell my clients, I tell my students,

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Speaker 1: I tell everyone on social media, and like, just identity shift,

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Speaker 1: you know, like shift your identity. You can just start

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Speaker 1: to identify as the version of you who has done

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Speaker 1: the thing. And so that's kind of the first part

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Speaker 1: of that, and then the second.

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Speaker 3: That's so interesting.

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Speaker 2: That's so interesting, And I love the way you broke

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Speaker 2: down the default mode network because this identity mismatch that

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Speaker 2: you're talking about. Are you saying that if you don't

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Speaker 2: I know, you've said something which I love you said.

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Speaker 2: Science says you have to act like you already have it. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: before something can happen. Is that what you're saying that

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Speaker 2: You've got to feel like I'm already an author, I'm

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Speaker 2: already a podcaster. How does someone practically apply that identity

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Speaker 2: to make sure it's aligned?

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Speaker 1: Right? So it's really just choosing to identify as that person, right.

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Speaker 1: And so when I say that you have to act

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Speaker 1: like you already have it, or like you already are

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Speaker 1: it in order to do it or be it works

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Speaker 1: the same way. The analogy I use there is falling

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Speaker 1: asleep at night. Like when you fall asleep at night,

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Speaker 1: you lay down, you close your eyes, you slow your breath,

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Speaker 1: and you pretend like you're asleep until you fall asleep,

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Speaker 1: and your brain makes it so. And life works that

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Speaker 1: way as well, and you have to act like it

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Speaker 1: and move like it, right, Like you're not going to

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Speaker 1: become a drummer in a band unless you act like

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Speaker 1: a drummer, and drummer's practice. And so it's sort of

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Speaker 1: like and so how do I apply that like practically,

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Speaker 1: I guess from my book example, I really just decided

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Speaker 1: I'm an author, Like from this moment forward, I'm an author.

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Speaker 1: And I think a lot of times we don't realize

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Speaker 1: the power that we have to choose those sorts of things.

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Speaker 1: And this is another reason why I tell people to

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Speaker 1: be so careful about the labels that they use to

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Speaker 1: identify themselves and the labels that they put on themselves.

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Speaker 1: And growing up in my own life, I had so

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Speaker 1: many different labels put onto me that I believed and

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Speaker 1: just kind of allowed to describe who I was, and

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Speaker 1: that impacted my life, it impacted my health, it impacted

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Speaker 1: everything in my world. And so that's one of the

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Speaker 1: reasons why I'm so passionate about it. But yeah, and

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Speaker 1: so applying that practically a lot of times, it really

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Speaker 1: just looks like choosing to identify as that version of you.

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Speaker 1: Like if I'm trying to start a podcast, I am

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Speaker 1: a podcaster, and there I am doing.

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Speaker 2: It right, almost like how does an author behave? And

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Speaker 2: let me start practice? Right, So an author gets up

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Speaker 2: and write a page even when they don't feel inspired,

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Speaker 2: because that's how they get for example, right, or like

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Speaker 2: a podcast that sits down and you just start interviewing

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Speaker 2: the people that are available until you're able to book

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Speaker 2: the guests that you really want to speak to.

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Speaker 1: Right, exactly exactly, And when that happens when you choose,

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Speaker 1: when you write a new what happens then is that

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Speaker 1: you're writing a new story and your brain kind of

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Speaker 1: stops using your past to predict your future and it

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Speaker 1: kind of starts to take the present moment and your

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Speaker 1: new identity that you are choosing to help predict your

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Speaker 1: future behavior. And so it's super powerful.

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Speaker 3: I love that, all right, what's the second that was?

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Speaker 1: Okay? So the second reason why most people procrastinate is fear.

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Speaker 1: A lot of times we are actually subconsciously afraid of success.

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Speaker 1: And I think this is a big reason why a

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Speaker 1: lot of people stay stuck, is that we are actually

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Speaker 1: subconsciously afraid of what it might look like if we

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Speaker 1: succeed at doing it interesting and for me personally, so

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Speaker 1: I'm actually about a launch of podcast by the time

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Speaker 1: this episode comes out, and may or may not be

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Speaker 1: already launched. But when I again I was procrastinating filling

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Speaker 1: my podcast, and me being me, I sit down and

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Speaker 1: I analyze my mind, like why am I procrastinating starting

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Speaker 1: to film this podcast? And what I found was that

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Speaker 1: I was subconsciously afraid of being seen in sort of

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Speaker 1: a more vulnerable way, because long form content is a

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Speaker 1: lot more vulnerable than a one minute reel on Instagram,

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Speaker 1: Like you're not really you in that short of period

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Speaker 1: of time, but in long form content, people can really

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Speaker 1: see you. And so that was sort of the fear

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Speaker 1: that I uncovered for myself. But yeah, and I think

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Speaker 1: this is another reason why I tell people all the time,

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Speaker 1: like a lot of people say, get specific about your goals.

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Speaker 1: But I also say get specific about your fears, because

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Speaker 1: your fears, they can have control over you when you

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Speaker 1: don't know what they are. But when you identify them,

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Speaker 1: labeling them, well, that activates the prefernal cortex and the

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Speaker 1: prefernal cortex and the amygdala. They sort of have this

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Speaker 1: kind of seesaw relationship where when one activity activity in

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Speaker 1: one goes up activity and the other goes down. And

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Speaker 1: so when you label your emotions, you label the fears

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Speaker 1: that you you have, you're actually giving yourself your power back.

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Speaker 1: You're activating the prefernal cortex, which is the CEO of

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Speaker 1: your brain. It's sort of the boss of your brain.

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Speaker 1: And so kind of getting specific about your fears, I

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Speaker 1: would say, is the way to overcome that version of stuckness.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's a really powerful activity to do

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Speaker 1: if somebody were feeling stuck.

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Speaker 2: How did you get so specific and define your own fear?

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Speaker 2: I love that you shared what you were worried about

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Speaker 2: in this whole idea that people are scared of success. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: how did you come upon that? Like? What process did

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Speaker 2: it take? What reflection did you do? How did you

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Speaker 2: identify them? I love what you said about identifying your

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Speaker 2: goals is important, but actually knowing your fears is equally

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Speaker 2: as important, if not more.

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Speaker 3: How do you do that?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So I think for me, I have the saying

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Speaker 1: called take it all the way to the end, and

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Speaker 1: so allow yourself to go on the journey or the

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Speaker 1: path all the way to the end. And so I

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Speaker 1: sat down and I was like, Okay, if I go

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Speaker 1: and I film this podcast, my goal is to have

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Speaker 1: a top podcast in the world. Right, so if I'm

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Speaker 1: having a top podcast in the world, what might that

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Speaker 1: look like? Oh, that means that I'm setting myself up

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Speaker 1: to be seen more and maybe have more hate and

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Speaker 1: maybe have more criticism and judgment and all that. And

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Speaker 1: just seeing myself write that down, I was like, Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: if my brain is highlighting that as oh, if you

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Speaker 1: go and start a podcast, you're going to have more

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Speaker 1: hate and face more criticism, then it might try to

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Speaker 1: keep me safe from that. And that's really what that

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Speaker 1: is is your brain is just trying to keep you safe.

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Speaker 1: And so that's why identifying your fears can be so powerful.

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Speaker 1: And so yeah, I would say, if you're trying to

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Speaker 1: identify what your fears are, I would just take the

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Speaker 1: goal whatever it is that you're trying to do all

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Speaker 1: the way to the end, like if it's the top podcast,

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Speaker 1: or if it's the best selling book, or if it's

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Speaker 1: your business, or even a relationship. Right, like a lot

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Speaker 1: of people in relationships, like you're afraid of relying on

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Speaker 1: someone or being dependent on someone, or really fully being

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Speaker 1: open and vulnerable with someone, and honestly just identifying that

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Speaker 1: as the first step and getting super clear on that,

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Speaker 1: because when you get clear on that, then you can

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Speaker 1: rewrite the story of exactly like you said, Yes, it's true,

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Speaker 1: being more vulnerable and being seen my equal more judgment

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Speaker 1: or criticism, but it might also equal and to the

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Speaker 1: same extent, if not more, more love and more support.

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Speaker 1: So and you have to identify at first to give

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Speaker 1: yourself the chance to even rewrite that fear.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I love the idea of take you all the

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Speaker 2: way to the end. That's a great one. It's a

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Speaker 2: great way of actually getting really clear on exactly what's

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Speaker 2: tripping you up. And I love what you just said

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Speaker 2: there that actually when you come up with it, you

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Speaker 2: realize your brain was just trying to keep you safe. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it was actually just trying to help you because it

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Speaker 2: was scared of that. It wasn't that you weren't good enough,

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Speaker 2: or it wasn't that you weren't smart enough, or it

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Speaker 2: wasn't that you can't develop the skills.

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Speaker 3: It was just trying to keep you safe.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think when we think about the brain

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Speaker 1: trying to keep us safe, that and that's a really

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Speaker 1: big reason why the brain tries to keep us kind

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Speaker 1: of in our comfort zone. Right, But it's super important

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Speaker 1: to recognize and acknowledge that any sort of growth happens

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Speaker 1: outside of our comfort zones. Like I would not be

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Speaker 1: in the physition where I am today if I didn't

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Speaker 1: take delusional level risks and leaps of faith. And so

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Speaker 1: it's really a requirement to achieving or receiving or having

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Speaker 1: whatever it is that we want. And so yeah, getting

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Speaker 1: really clear on our fears and take it all the way,

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Speaker 1: I take it all the way to the end applies

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Speaker 1: to that. It also applies to limiting beliefs as well,

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Speaker 1: like take it all the way to the end, see

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Speaker 1: what comes up for you. And also, yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: because I've had students, I had a specific student ask

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Speaker 1: me she was struggling with sand volleyball, beach volleyball, and

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Speaker 1: she was like, I had this fear, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: take it all the way to the end. Visualize it. Maybe,

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't think I've ever heard anyone tell

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Speaker 1: people like visualize your fears. But if it's safe for

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Speaker 1: you and you're not gonna like like have any sort

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Speaker 1: of physical reaction, like visualize it and see what comes

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Speaker 1: up for you and see like what is it really

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Speaker 1: that you're afraid of, and then you can give yourself

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Speaker 1: the chance to kind of rewrite that story to number three. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so we've got there's an identity mismatch or there's maybe

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Speaker 1: some underlying fear behind it, and then number three is

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Speaker 1: really more of a scientific, kind of simple, straightforward thing.

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Speaker 1: And it's cheap dopamine. Uh, it's everywhere and society sort

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Speaker 1: of it's everywhere cheap dopamine, social media, it's all over

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Speaker 1: the place and like fast food, binging, Netflix, whatever it

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Speaker 1: is that's that's number three is cheap dopamine. And it's

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Speaker 1: it's really it's a dream dopamine. I always say, like,

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Speaker 1: dopamine doesn't care about your dreams. Dopamine just cares about

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Speaker 1: what you automate and what you repeat. And so it's

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Speaker 1: going to keep you doing that. And also when it

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Speaker 1: comes to cheap dopamine, if you're giving yourself a lot

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Speaker 1: of that, then you're not really And one of the

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Speaker 1: big things that I do to help kind of motivate

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Speaker 1: myself to doing things is withholding reward. And so whenever

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Speaker 1: I was in the PhD, I studied drug addiction, and

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Speaker 1: so a lot of dopamine research and studying kind of

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Speaker 1: the dopamine pathways. But also drug addiction is really maladaptive

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Speaker 1: habit formation. And so when I think about kind of

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Speaker 1: cheap dopamine and habit formation and behavior, because dopamine drives

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Speaker 1: a lot of behavior, one of the things that I

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Speaker 1: do to kind of motivate myself is just withhold whatever

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Speaker 1: reward that I'm wanting. So let's say I saw it

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Speaker 1: online or I was shopping or whatever, and I saw

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Speaker 1: a shirt that I wanted, I wouldn't allow myself to

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Speaker 1: buy it, or a candle or whatever it is, I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't allow myself to buy it until after I do

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Speaker 1: the task that I'm maybe procrastinating or feeling stuck doing.

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Speaker 1: And so if someone's out there right now and you're

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Speaker 1: procrastinating or feeling stuck starting a business or going after

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Speaker 1: a job, or dating in a relationship or whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: and you're regularly giving yourself sort of cheap dopamine or

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Speaker 1: you know, allowing yourself to just like have whatever reward

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Speaker 1: it is, and you just give it to yourself all

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Speaker 1: the time, then you're not really setting yourself up for

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Speaker 1: success because you're giving yourself your brain is just well

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Speaker 1: fed on dopamine. And you can think of it sort

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Speaker 1: of as the analogy of like snacking all day, right,

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Speaker 1: So if you're snacking all day, you're never really gonna

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Speaker 1: be hungry and to eat that whole meal, and so

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Speaker 1: dope means kind of the same way. If you're like

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Speaker 1: giving yourself those cheap dopamine hits going on social media

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Speaker 1: all day long, then you're never really gonna be driven

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Speaker 1: to go complete that big task. And that big task

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Speaker 1: is going to be a lot more rewarding than the small,

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Speaker 1: repetitive cheap dopamine, especially at night. So I want to

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Speaker 1: I want to highlight that because this is something newer

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Speaker 1: that I've been talking about, and honestly, I discover all this,

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Speaker 1: Like obviously I learned about neuroscience in school, but I

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Speaker 1: discover a lot of the kind of hacks and stuff

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Speaker 1: based on what I need and in my own life.

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Speaker 1: And so I realized, you know, I was waking up

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Speaker 1: with less motivation, waking up low on energy, and just

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Speaker 1: not really feeling like normally and I have most of

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Speaker 1: the time. I really do wake up and I jump

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Speaker 1: out of bed and I'm like ready and so excited

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Speaker 1: for the day. So I'm like, what's what's happening here?

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Speaker 1: And what I actually realized was that so dopamine actually

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Speaker 1: resets itself and restores as you sleep, and so scrolling

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Speaker 1: at nighttime or binge, watching Netflix or any of those

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Speaker 1: things that give you cheap dopamine and even eating late

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Speaker 1: night snacks and all that that actually up Well, one,

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Speaker 1: it disrupts your sleep, and that keeps your dopamine system

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Speaker 1: from restoring itself. But also it desensitizes your dopamine receptors,

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Speaker 1: so when you wake up in the morning, you're, for

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Speaker 1: lack of better like to keep it simple, you're less

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Speaker 1: sensitive to dopamine when you wake up in the morning

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Speaker 1: when you give yourself cheap dopamine at night, and so

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Speaker 1: cheap dopamine is number three. It's a big reason why

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Speaker 1: people stay stuck. Yeah, because if you're giving yourself snacks

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Speaker 1: all day, you're never going to be driven to cook

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Speaker 1: a meal. If you're giving yourself cheap dopamine all day long,

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Speaker 1: you're never going to be driven to go do the

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Speaker 1: big task that's going to help you get closer to

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Speaker 1: your dreams.

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Speaker 3: I love that.

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Speaker 2: How do we convince ourselves that the big task is

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Speaker 2: going to be more fulfilling than the cheap, quick dopamine.

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Speaker 3: Or what do we do with that?

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Speaker 2: Because I think you're spot on that there are a

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Speaker 2: million distractions today. It's easy to be caught down a wormhole.

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Speaker 2: It's easy to binge your show, and you don't realize

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Speaker 2: that actually building the thing you love or starting that business,

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Speaker 2: or investing in that relationship, whatever it is, will be

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Speaker 2: so much more meaningful. What do we do with that?

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Speaker 2: How do we get there?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? So I think two things. The first is get

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Speaker 1: super specific about why you want that thing, right, So,

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Speaker 1: if you don't really know why you want and let's

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Speaker 1: I guess the big goal for this would be writing

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Speaker 1: a book, because that takes so long and it does

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Speaker 1: not come easily or company and.

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Speaker 2: It never gets easy. I'm I'm writing my third book

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Speaker 2: right now. It does not get easy.

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Speaker 3: It is not. I'll just tell everyone it's not get.

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Speaker 1: Easy, and it's it's you're in it. It's a marathon,

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Speaker 1: it's not a sprint. They used to say that to

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Speaker 1: me all the time in the PhD. It's even though

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Speaker 1: they wanted you to sprint the marathon. And so I

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Speaker 1: think for that, it's really understanding and being super clear

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Speaker 1: about why you want to do it, because motivation is

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Speaker 1: not always going to be there for you, and that's

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Speaker 1: where knowing your why. And I kind of have a

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Speaker 1: different take on discipline where I don't really think of

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Speaker 1: like this hardcore sort of disciplined sort of moment. I

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Speaker 1: think of discipline as looking out for future you. And

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Speaker 1: I think this is why it's super important for me.

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Speaker 1: Whenever I am working with people, I ask them, you know,

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Speaker 1: like who do you want to be? Like when you

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Speaker 1: imagine yourself like achieving the goals or whatever, it is like,

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Speaker 1: it's not really about that. It's about who achieving those

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Speaker 1: goals is going to make you become. And that's really

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Speaker 1: what it's all about. And like who are you feeling

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Speaker 1: called to become? And getting super clear on who that

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Speaker 1: is and why you want to be that person, and

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Speaker 1: so understanding your why and why you want to do it,

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Speaker 1: why do you want to write the book, and that

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Speaker 1: will keep you going and motivate you, but also who

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Speaker 1: that's going to make you become, Like I want to

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Speaker 1: be an author, Like I want to have a book published,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes that's going to motivate me a lot more

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Speaker 1: than just thinking about publishing a book, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean? I think that is sort of super important,

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Speaker 1: is really knowing your why. And then I think the

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Speaker 1: other thing when you're clear on that, when you're clear

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Speaker 1: on who you want to become and your why and

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Speaker 1: your purpose for doing it, that's really the first half

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Speaker 1: of it, and then the other half of it. I

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Speaker 1: don't do the whole internal battle thing, like don't I

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Speaker 1: don't negotiate with myself. That's something that I don't do.

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Speaker 1: And so I think trying to convince yourself that it's

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Speaker 1: going to be rewarding and going to be better than

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Speaker 1: scrolling on my phone, I don't think that we can

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Speaker 1: really even do that. I don't think that that's something

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Speaker 1: that I wouldn't recommend. I think in that scenario it

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Speaker 1: would more be and actually like recently, I was struggling

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Speaker 1: with getting filming content and I called my friend who's

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Speaker 1: still in the PhD. She's like my best friend and

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Speaker 1: I called her and she's like, em, you're the one

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Speaker 1: that would always tell me, you need to you need

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Speaker 1: to withhold reward, like what do you want? Like you

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Speaker 1: do you want like a new feel? Like what is

433
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,480
Speaker 1: it that you want? And then get that, get clear

434
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:43,919
Speaker 1: on like what it is that you want, and then

435
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,400
Speaker 1: don't give it to yourself until after the big thing

436
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,679
Speaker 1: has been accomplished, after you've done the thing that you

437
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,640
Speaker 1: want to do. And that's how you start to train

438
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:52,880
Speaker 1: your brain that it's more rewarding. A dog doesn't learn

439
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,960
Speaker 1: to sit for free. I say that all the time.

440
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,760
Speaker 1: If you want to teach a dog how to sit,

441
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,680
Speaker 1: you have to give your dog a treat, and then

442
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,879
Speaker 1: that treat boost open me. That dopamine drives learning, and

443
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,159
Speaker 1: then when you learn it and it becomes a habit

444
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:07,000
Speaker 1: that you repeat, then it's just wired in and you're

445
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,160
Speaker 1: doing it and you don't have to think so much

446
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,240
Speaker 1: about it, and it's not about convincing yourself. It's just

447
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:14,080
Speaker 1: wired and it's automatic behavior. And then another thing that

448
00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:16,720
Speaker 1: I talk about a lot in my community, in the

449
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,480
Speaker 1: people that I coach, is that take a moment after

450
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,119
Speaker 1: you do accomplish those things or you do. It doesn't

451
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,359
Speaker 1: have to be some big goal that you're accomplishing either.

452
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:27,600
Speaker 1: It can maybe be even something small, like I said,

453
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 1: creating content like that's a stepping stone on the way,

454
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,639
Speaker 1: And it can be just as simple as taking a

455
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,520
Speaker 1: moment to tell yourself, Hey, I'm proud of you, good

456
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:38,399
Speaker 1: job you accomplish that. Self talk boost dopamine like self

457
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,560
Speaker 1: affirmation boosts opamine. It activates the reward centers in the brain.

458
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:45,640
Speaker 1: I used to be I didn't used to believe in affirmations.

459
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,560
Speaker 1: I used to think they were woo woo or whatever,

460
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:51,399
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, what is that? But then,

461
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,520
Speaker 1: you know, I sort of went on my own journey

462
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,679
Speaker 1: and then of course looked into the neuroscience of it,

463
00:21:55,720 --> 00:22:00,440
Speaker 1: and they really are so powerful and not even necesscessarily

464
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:04,199
Speaker 1: an affirmation track or whatever it is, but speaking to

465
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,399
Speaker 1: yourself positively and kindly, it's so so so important and

466
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,879
Speaker 1: making sure to take a moment to do that and

467
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 1: acknowledge yourself when you are working toward the goals, because

468
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,840
Speaker 1: it's so easy to you know, just be like okay,

469
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,520
Speaker 1: like I'd posted a video, Okay, we're not necessarily at

470
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:21,040
Speaker 1: ten million yet, so that's not we're not there yet.

471
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 1: It's really easy to do that and get caught up

472
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,360
Speaker 1: in the big picture and not give yourself the pat

473
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,119
Speaker 1: on the back for the steps that you're taking along

474
00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:30,679
Speaker 1: the way. And those are the little dopamine booths that

475
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,720
Speaker 1: are going to build momentum, that are going to keep

476
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,879
Speaker 1: you going, and that are also going to teach your

477
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:39,200
Speaker 1: brain that oh hey, this behavior, this action that we're

478
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 1: taking is valuable and meaningful.

479
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 3: Well practices do you think young people should delay?

480
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be a purchase. It is not

481
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,480
Speaker 1: to be a purchase. I'm using this is personally for me.

482
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,879
Speaker 1: I like clothes, so like for me. And then maybe

483
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 1: it's even going and planning. It can be anything like

484
00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 1: planning a reward for yourself, like going out to dinner.

485
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,879
Speaker 1: Let's say if you're a foodie. It really depends. So

486
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna sit here and tell people what's gonna

487
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 1: boost their OPA mean, because it's very highly individual. What

488
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,679
Speaker 1: is it that you want and like? But maybe you

489
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:26,920
Speaker 1: love going to the grocery store and buying these one

490
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 1: box of cookies that you really like or whatever it is.

491
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: Maybe there's something and also it's good to switch it up,

492
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,719
Speaker 1: like if it's something that you haven't done for yourself

493
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 1: in a while, or like there's a dessert that you

494
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 1: love that you only have on your birthday. It's like, Okay,

495
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:40,960
Speaker 1: if I take the steps, if I sign up for

496
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,359
Speaker 1: this LLC and I get the logo done and I

497
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:45,400
Speaker 1: set up the website, I'm gonna go get that thing

498
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 1: that I get for my birthday and I'm gonna give

499
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 1: it to myself now. So it's just kind of really

500
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,879
Speaker 1: anything that makes you And I think also this is

501
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:57,119
Speaker 1: why I always talk about with with people, is to

502
00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 1: also have something to look forward to. I think is

503
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 1: super or whether it's just like a dinner because I

504
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:06,640
Speaker 1: found and this is something I really learned through experience

505
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,720
Speaker 1: in college and undergrad But then of course, now knowing

506
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,000
Speaker 1: the neuroscience of it, I would be so much more

507
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 1: productive and study so much better when I had plans

508
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,040
Speaker 1: on Friday night. And like, if you don't have any

509
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 1: plans or anything to look forward to or like a

510
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 1: reason to get some done quickly, then it's gonna be

511
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:24,359
Speaker 1: a lot harder, and also like dopamine is released in

512
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 1: anticipation of a good thing happening, it's not just about reward.

513
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 1: It's also when you are anticipating something. Like from my

514
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,640
Speaker 1: like kind of research studies, that was more tied to craving, right,

515
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,400
Speaker 1: but in kind of our day to day lives, it's anticipation.

516
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 1: Like that's why when you're when you're a little kid

517
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:42,720
Speaker 1: and it's the night before Christmas, like you can't you couldn't,

518
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:44,440
Speaker 1: you can't fall asleep at night because you're excited, you're

519
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:47,680
Speaker 1: anticipating something. And actually the day that we're supposed to

520
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 1: close on our house, which was like two weeks ago,

521
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:52,440
Speaker 1: I woke up that morning feeling like a kid on Christmas,

522
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 1: and I was like, I was looking into the neuroscience

523
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,199
Speaker 1: of it actually because I was like, how do I

524
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 1: activate this feeling more every single day because it's a

525
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,960
Speaker 1: great feeling, and I was so productive. But that was

526
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,640
Speaker 1: really a day of detachment because we weren't sure whether

527
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:07,119
Speaker 1: or not we were going to close that day, and

528
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,359
Speaker 1: it was actually as soon as we decided, oh no,

529
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,159
Speaker 1: it's not gonna happen today, we'll just drive home, we

530
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:13,440
Speaker 1: got the call and I was like, Oh, you're gonna

531
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,360
Speaker 1: get the keys, and I was like, it's always when

532
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 1: you let go. So yeah, I think it depends on

533
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 1: a person when it comes to what you should delay

534
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,199
Speaker 1: or what you should purchase. It doesn't even have to

535
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 1: be a purchase. It can be any sort of rewarding thing,

536
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 1: like actually, something that I've been doing because I have

537
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 1: a mountain bike, not like an avid mountain biker, but

538
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,439
Speaker 1: I love nature and I also have a ripstick. I

539
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,639
Speaker 1: love to ripstick, just like around my house or whatever

540
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,160
Speaker 1: it is. And so I told myself the other day actually,

541
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna film this content and then

542
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,919
Speaker 1: afterward I'm gonna ripstick and giving myself that sort of

543
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 1: little reward of like honestly, it's like playtime, Like not

544
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 1: giving myself that. It motivated me to go get it

545
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 1: done because I had something to look forward to and

546
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 1: a little reward afterward.

547
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,360
Speaker 3: Absolutely Well said, it definitely works. It definitely works.

548
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 2: I can think of so many moments in my life

549
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,880
Speaker 2: where that's exactly how I'm focusing on how to get

550
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,920
Speaker 2: the work done first and then be able to play

551
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 2: break afterwards. And the biggest one for me from what

552
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 2: you said that I think really is going to make

553
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:10,199
Speaker 2: a difference for people is being kind to yourself in

554
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 2: the process. Yeah, that grace that comes with that, and

555
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 2: the ability to celebrate the small wins and the progress,

556
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 2: because if you're always measuring yourself up against a big goal,

557
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 2: you could be waiting a long long Yeah, especially when

558
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 2: you're writing a book. I mean that you just told

559
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:26,160
Speaker 2: me the cycle of when your book's going to come out,

560
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,080
Speaker 2: and that's what it is. It takes like two three

561
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 2: years to put it together, then it takes time for

562
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,399
Speaker 2: it to come out, then you're promoting it. So the

563
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,159
Speaker 2: actual result of someone saying I love your book and

564
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 2: I got so much from it is so far away

565
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 2: that if that's what you're waiting for, it's going to

566
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:42,399
Speaker 2: feel like forever.

567
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,480
Speaker 1: Yeah. I actually had to switch. This is funny that

568
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 1: you say that, because when I first started, I was

569
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 1: very motivated by having a best selling book and writing

570
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:55,639
Speaker 1: this book. And quickly did I learn that's not going

571
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 1: to last and we're not going to be able to

572
00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:00,680
Speaker 1: push through on this. So I actually shifted from motivated

573
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 1: by kind of the result to hey, actually I just

574
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 1: want to be an author, and being an author is

575
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:11,160
Speaker 1: a reward in itself, and when I acknowledged that, then

576
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,919
Speaker 1: it became more rewarding to write the book and do

577
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 1: the work. And so it was that shift, And I

578
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 1: think that's also why it's so important to figure out

579
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,719
Speaker 1: who you want to be and that identity and who

580
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 1: it's going to make you, because when you can start

581
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,120
Speaker 1: to kind of identify as that, it's also very rewarding

582
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:27,920
Speaker 1: to embody it as well.

583
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, you've said that desperately wanting something actually blocks you

584
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 2: from getting it, which applies to what you just said

585
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:38,720
Speaker 2: about your house. Just that moment you let go, you're like,

586
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 2: you got the call that you've got your house. Why

587
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:43,200
Speaker 2: does desperately wanting something actually block it?

588
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,199
Speaker 1: When you are very attached to an outcome and you

589
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 1: desperately want something and it's to the point where it

590
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,119
Speaker 1: is kind of raising your stress levels and you are

591
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:53,280
Speaker 1: dependent on it or attached to the outcome, it boosts

592
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 1: stress and a boost cortisol and that actually narrows your

593
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:58,919
Speaker 1: perception and kind of which gives you a sort of

594
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 1: tunnel vision and actually blocks you from being able to

595
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:06,359
Speaker 1: perceive or be aware of alternate pathways and alternate routes,

596
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 1: which is one reason why I can block you from

597
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:09,920
Speaker 1: getting it because a lot of times, you know, we'll

598
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,880
Speaker 1: have a goal and we have something that we want

599
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 1: to accomplish. And I know for me personally, I had

600
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 1: a goal and I had to be very open to

601
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:20,680
Speaker 1: alternate pathways in my life. I had to be very

602
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 1: open to like, okay, and you know, we'll go down

603
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,120
Speaker 1: the road and maybe this road isn't it, and we'll

604
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:29,040
Speaker 1: take a different road. But being able to be open

605
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,199
Speaker 1: to alternate pathways that actually you're less able to do

606
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: that and you're less open minded and you have more

607
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 1: of tunnel vision whenever you are kind of desperately attached

608
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 1: to something, and also whenever we are chronically stressed, I

609
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 1: mean that puts us in fight or flight. And when

610
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 1: the nervous system is disregulated, I mean it becomes way

611
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,479
Speaker 1: harder to rewire your brain. And I like to use

612
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 1: the analogy of a kid in the classroom, Like if

613
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 1: you're a kid in the classroom and you are being

614
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 1: bullied by every single student, it's going to be really

615
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 1: hard to pay attention to the teacher and actually learned

616
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 1: what's being said. But if you feel safe in that classroom,

617
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 1: the kid can actually feel safe to learn and pay

618
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:03,080
Speaker 1: attention to the teacher and absorb what's being said. And

619
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 1: it works the same way in our lives. Like, if

620
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 1: we're feeling stressed and anxious all the time, it's really

621
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 1: going to be difficult to be focused on whatever goal

622
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 1: that we have. And so that's another kind of piece

623
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 1: of it. And then there's another piece of it, which

624
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:19,920
Speaker 1: is sort of this incubation effect in the brain. And

625
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 1: I'm sure you've noticed that if you're sitting there and

626
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 1: you're thinking about a problem or a challenge, or you're

627
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 1: wanting an answer to something, and you can't necessarily think

628
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 1: of the way of the answer, But then as soon

629
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 1: as you walk away from it, then you go for

630
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 1: a walk or you're in the shower or whatever it is,

631
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, the answer comes and whatever you

632
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 1: wanted to say comes. That's the incubation effect. And our

633
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 1: subconscious mind or like the other kind of areas in

634
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 1: the brain can process a lot more information and make

635
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 1: a lot more connections than our conscious mind can when

636
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 1: we're sort of focusing on something. And so whenever we're

637
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 1: desperately wanting something or attached to and we're thinking about

638
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 1: it all the time and we're kind of stopping that

639
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 1: from happening. We're stopping the incubation effect to do it

640
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 1: magic of sort of going to work behind the scenes

641
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 1: and coming up with the answers. And so that's another

642
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 1: reason why letting go can be so helpful and just.

643
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 1: And that doesn't mean that you're not going to work

644
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 1: towards your goals. That doesn't mean that you're not going

645
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 1: to be focused on your goals, but it means that

646
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 1: you know you work toward it, and you worry about what,

647
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: you worry about the inputs, and you worry about what

648
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 1: you can do, but you sort of let go of

649
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 1: the how and the when, and you just and it

650
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 1: also allows you to enjoy the journey, which is which

651
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: is really important. And I think that's, if not one

652
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,640
Speaker 1: of the most important things when it comes to all

653
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 1: of it, is enjoying the journey. And I always say,

654
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 1: you know, life is about the journey. If it were

655
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 1: about the destination, it would be called death. It's about

656
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 1: the journey, and so enjoying the journey is super important.

657
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 1: And when you're desperately attached to something, especially you know

658
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 1: when it's a long term sort of situation, you're going

659
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 1: to be you're you're withholding reward and you're withholding feeling

660
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 1: proud of yourself and feeling accomplished for a long time.

661
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 1: And I don't think that anybody should really live that

662
00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 1: way either.

663
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, it can be you can tolment yourself. Yeah, you

664
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 2: can capture yourself if you do it, and it can

665
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 2: lead to greatness, but at what cost?

666
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 1: Right, it absolutely can. But I knowing myself, and I

667
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 1: think that that's a very important piece of this, and

668
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 1: knowing myself is that one of my top values is

669
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 1: joy and being able to enjoy my life and enjoy

670
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 1: the journey of my life. And so for me, yeah,

671
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 1: I think remembering to enjoy the journey. But also I've

672
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 1: found that I do so much better in my work

673
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 1: and creative process when I am in my joy. And

674
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 1: so I think that joy isn't necessarily like a break

675
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 1: or like an additional reward, but it also is sort

676
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 1: of a necessity if we want our brain to be

677
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 1: in its most optimized state, because tons of studies show

678
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,479
Speaker 1: that play and being in your joy it actually boosts

679
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:53,440
Speaker 1: creativity and also boosts longevity and our immune system function

680
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:55,920
Speaker 1: and all the things. So it's really good for our

681
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 1: physical health as well as our mental health.

682
00:31:58,080 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 3: Yeah.

683
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Yeah, you've reminded me of two things. One thing

684
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,280
Speaker 2: I always say to people is you'll get to where

685
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:04,959
Speaker 2: you want in life, just not in the way you

686
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,360
Speaker 2: imagine it. The idea that you're going in the direction,

687
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 2: but the path it's going to take is going to

688
00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:11,479
Speaker 2: be totally different.

689
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so.

690
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 2: What you want may even change if you're moving at

691
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 2: the pace you want to go. And one of the

692
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 2: things I love that you said your values joy. One

693
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 2: of my values, deep values, is love. And I always

694
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 2: say to myself, I always want to move at the

695
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 2: pace of love. I want to move as fast as

696
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 2: I can while still loving it. Yeah, because if I

697
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 2: start hating it, then it's not worth it, even if

698
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 2: I move three times.

699
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 3: The speed that I'm at right now.

700
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:36,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, Because I want to move at the pace of love.

701
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 2: I want to move at a pace that I'm in

702
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 2: love with myself. I'm in love with what I'm doing

703
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 2: and I in love with what I'm serving, rather than

704
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:45,720
Speaker 2: I'm moving really really fast. We're getting there, but I

705
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 2: actually hate it and I'm upset at myself.

706
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it's super important to know in mindcraft,

707
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: in the very beginning, I have people get to know themselves,

708
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 1: and they're key values because in my business, actually, like

709
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 1: working in business, I've had kind of I don't want

710
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,719
Speaker 1: to use the word standoffs, but situations where I've had

711
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,960
Speaker 1: to bring up and so mine what I have mind

712
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 1: broken down into three parts, and one of the parts

713
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: is to be to have love and joy. And for me,

714
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 1: it's the exact same way. It's like, yes, we could

715
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 1: do all of this, and we could move at this speed,

716
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 1: and we could, but at the cost of my love,

717
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:21,320
Speaker 1: at the cost of feeling love and joy, it's not

718
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 1: worth it to me. And so I completely resonate with that.

719
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:27,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, what is the number one thing people are coming

720
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:31,320
Speaker 2: to you in Minecraft and your community for coaching? What's

721
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 2: the number one thing you're seeing amongst young people?

722
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 1: Minecraft is a pretty wide range. I would say it's

723
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,800
Speaker 1: from like twenties up to sixties, so we've got a

724
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 1: pretty wide range of people. And so I would say

725
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 1: the reasons why people come into Minecraft are pretty variable.

726
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 1: But I think I like that you asked a question

727
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 1: about people feeling stuck, because I think that that's a

728
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 1: big reason why people do come to Minecraft and understanding

729
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 1: kind of the neuroscience of reality and how life works

730
00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 1: and how the brain builds reality is so sort of

731
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 1: an eye opener. It was an eye opener for me,

732
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 1: it's an eye opener for a lot of people. But

733
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 1: then also seeing how your brain is really like directing

734
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:09,960
Speaker 1: you and then directing how you feel and your actions

735
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:11,919
Speaker 1: and all of that. And so I think a big

736
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:15,040
Speaker 1: reason is that people do feel stuck and they want

737
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:17,839
Speaker 1: they and also, I mean just I got to meet

738
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 1: with some people in Minecraft in person recently, and one

739
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 1: person said that he joined because he wanted to find

740
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 1: purpose in his life and connect more deeply with spirituality.

741
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 1: And he found that not only did he find his purpose,

742
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:36,240
Speaker 1: but he actually just launched a nonprofit, which is super cool. Yeah,

743
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 1: a lot of people, surprisingly, and I guess surprisingly or not.

744
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 1: I don't really know what I was expecting when I

745
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:45,279
Speaker 1: started Minecraft. I just sort of started it because I

746
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 1: wanted to give people everything that helped me get to

747
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 1: where I am in one place. But I've found that

748
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 1: a lot of people end up quitting their nine to

749
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 1: five jobs and starting their own thing and not that.

750
00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:58,120
Speaker 1: And you know, of course, there are people who love

751
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:00,160
Speaker 1: their nine to five jobs and they're in them but

752
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:04,240
Speaker 1: surprisingly a lot of people do embark on that journey,

753
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:06,839
Speaker 1: and so I think it a lot of people join

754
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:09,399
Speaker 1: because they want to really find what lights them up

755
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,759
Speaker 1: and what calls to them. And I think that when

756
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 1: you figure out who you are on a super deep level,

757
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 1: and you then figure out how your brain works, and

758
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:24,920
Speaker 1: you understand all the little kind of nuances of focus

759
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 1: and stress and anxiety and nervous system regulation and of

760
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 1: course like identity and your sense of self and how

761
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 1: all that works, then you kind of have this sort

762
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:37,040
Speaker 1: of freedom to go and create the life that you

763
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 1: really want.

764
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:39,359
Speaker 3: What's your take on manifestation.

765
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:43,239
Speaker 1: I'm one hundred thousand percent believe in manifestation.

766
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 3: Version yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

767
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,040
Speaker 1: So I think a lot of people don't believe in

768
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:50,319
Speaker 1: manifestation because they think that it's this thing where you

769
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 1: just sit down and think until it pops up into

770
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 1: your reality. And I don't really I don't really see

771
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 1: it that way. So I guess my take on manifestation

772
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 1: is really sort of just understanding the neuroscience of reality

773
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 1: and how the brain works. There's actually a really cool study,

774
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 1: so I'll tell you about this study. This study actually

775
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:13,439
Speaker 1: really greatly explains how manifestation works at least in my eyes.

776
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 1: So there's a study done in the nineteen seventies where

777
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 1: they took kittens and they raised one group of kittens.

778
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,920
Speaker 1: They raised them all in complete darkness. They took one

779
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 1: group of kittens and they showed them only horizontal lines,

780
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 1: horizontal black and white lines. So they're raised mostly in

781
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,120
Speaker 1: complete darkness except for a few hours a day where

782
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:34,279
Speaker 1: they're shown only horizontal black and white lines. And then

783
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 1: a different group was shown only vertical black and white lines.

784
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:43,799
Speaker 1: They allowed their brains to develop through their adolescence, and

785
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,440
Speaker 1: then when their brains were more developed, their visual systems

786
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:49,080
Speaker 1: were developed, they put them in a normal environment with

787
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:51,279
Speaker 1: chairs and tables and all the things. And what they

788
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 1: found was that the kittens that were raised to only

789
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:59,439
Speaker 1: see horizontal lines, they couldn't see vertical objects. They would

790
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:02,280
Speaker 1: bump into table legs and chair legs because their brains

791
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:06,319
Speaker 1: weren't programmed or wired to see them. The brain develops

792
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 1: in a way that helps us survive in our environment

793
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,319
Speaker 1: that we grew up in. And so the kittens that

794
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 1: could only see the vertical lines as they were raised,

795
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 1: they could see they would weave in and out of

796
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 1: table legs and chair legs and all that, but they

797
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:22,800
Speaker 1: wouldn't jump up up onto tabletops or you know, chairs

798
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,399
Speaker 1: to perch the way that the kittens that were raised

799
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:28,200
Speaker 1: to see horizontal lines would. And so I think that,

800
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:31,799
Speaker 1: you know, that study kind of really showed me that

801
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 1: if the way that kittens were raised kind of determined

802
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:37,280
Speaker 1: what they could then see or perceive in their reality,

803
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 1: Like what am I missing in my life because of

804
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 1: the way that my brain is wired and the way

805
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,879
Speaker 1: that I was programmed by my environment? And I think

806
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,799
Speaker 1: that's where sort of certain activities like shadow were kind

807
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 1: of come in. But recognizing that you really can only

808
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:55,239
Speaker 1: see in your reality what your brain is wired for,

809
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 1: and so that job, that relationship, that thing that you're

810
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,279
Speaker 1: trying to make or create into your life, you it

811
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 1: might be right in front of you, but you're missing

812
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,359
Speaker 1: it because your brain is not programmed to see it

813
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:08,400
Speaker 1: or construct it.

814
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:08,759
Speaker 2: Right.

815
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 1: And it's super cool because there was someone who came

816
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:16,240
Speaker 1: to my masterclass. I host free master classes, and he

817
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:17,799
Speaker 1: he said he had been searching for a job for

818
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 1: two years, and two weeks after the masterclass, he got

819
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 1: his dream job. And to me, it's just it's a

820
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 1: really cool example, but also a real like when you

821
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 1: wire your brain to become a match, and so that's

822
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 1: what it's really it's all about. It's sort of that

823
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 1: like neuroscience meets law of attraction sort of situation where

824
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 1: when you wire your brain to become a match so

825
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:40,840
Speaker 1: that it can actually construct the experience that you're wanting

826
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,799
Speaker 1: to experience, that's when you can see it. And that's

827
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:46,440
Speaker 1: why I say, like you need to act like it

828
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 1: or you need to be it before you can see it.

829
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:50,440
Speaker 1: It's because the brain has to be a match for

830
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:53,120
Speaker 1: it in order to even construct whatever it is. Like

831
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 1: you can be in the best relationship ever, but make

832
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 1: it toxic or you know it won't you won't be

833
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 1: perceiving it as that if you're brain isn't wired to

834
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 1: be in a healthy relationship. And so I think it

835
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:06,839
Speaker 1: really is about rewiring your brain so that you can

836
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 1: perceive the things that you want. And so for me,

837
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 1: that's what manifestation is all about. For me, manifestations and

838
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 1: it is I guess an entire it is a mental game.

839
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 1: It is about rewiring your brain so that you can

840
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,360
Speaker 1: become a match to whatever it is that you want.

841
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 1: But then of course that requires action. You don't rewiring

842
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 1: your brain. Yes, it can be done through visualization and

843
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 1: all of that, but a lot of the circuitry, like

844
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 1: habit formation, all that, a lot of it comes from

845
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:37,600
Speaker 1: action and from doing. And so I do think that

846
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:41,759
Speaker 1: of course it requires action, but taking aligned action and when,

847
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:44,919
Speaker 1: And I think that it's important to recognize that when

848
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 1: when you have action but your brain isn't programmed to

849
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,720
Speaker 1: see it, then you'll be taking action for a long time.

850
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 1: You might achieve it, you might not. But when and

851
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,680
Speaker 1: when you're of course only doing the brain component, or

852
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 1: the energetic component of it, the mental component, you might

853
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,319
Speaker 1: become this great thing. But then it's going to take

854
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 1: action for you to go. And I think that when

855
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 1: you have both your brain as programmed for whatever it

856
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:07,319
Speaker 1: is that you want, and you're taking action toward what

857
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,640
Speaker 1: you want, then that's when you become completely unstoppable.

858
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so interesting to hear about the exposure of

859
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 2: the kittens. Yeah, what they had the vertical and horizontal lines.

860
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 2: I remember I was coaching someone a few years back

861
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:21,160
Speaker 2: and they told me that the richest person they knew

862
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 2: made one hundred thousand dollars a year. And so then

863
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 2: I introduced them to someone who made one hundred thousand

864
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:27,799
Speaker 2: dollars a month, and they were like, oh my god,

865
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:29,399
Speaker 2: I didn't know you could make one hundred thousand dollars

866
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:31,480
Speaker 2: a month. Then I introduced them to someone who made

867
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:33,799
Speaker 2: one hundred thousand dollars a day, and then they're like, oh,

868
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:34,960
Speaker 2: wait a minute, Like, I didn't know you could make

869
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 2: one hundred thousand dollars a day. And then I introduced

870
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,319
Speaker 2: them to someone who makes one hundred thousand dollars an hour.

871
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 2: And it was just incredible to watch their mind expand

872
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:45,880
Speaker 2: because it was just a glitch almost in their belief

873
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 2: system of what was possible. And that wasn't about that

874
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,920
Speaker 2: person wanting to become really rich or wealthy. It was

875
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,680
Speaker 2: just about the idea of can you expand the mind

876
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 2: out enough to be exposed to something that it hasn't

877
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 2: seen before and heard before, and all of a sudden,

878
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:02,399
Speaker 2: the person since being able to wire differently and being

879
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,879
Speaker 2: able to conceptualize dreams and businesses and ideas that they

880
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 2: never have because they just weren't aware. And I always

881
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 2: think about that, like, what's the prison that we've created

882
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:13,840
Speaker 2: for ourselves? Yeah, no matter how big your world is,

883
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 2: or how small your world is, it just ends up

884
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:20,080
Speaker 2: being that size. And it's hard to do that if

885
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 2: you haven't left your town or met someone outside of

886
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 2: your landscape, or met someone in a different career path.

887
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 2: I mean, I talk about it all the time. Growing up,

888
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:30,040
Speaker 2: I didn't know anyone who looked like me who worked

889
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:33,520
Speaker 2: in media or was on television or worked in.

890
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 3: Any sort of way. I just didn't see anyone.

891
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 2: And if you haven't seen it, it's so hard to

892
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 2: experience it or dream to become it because you just

893
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:42,240
Speaker 2: think people like you don't do that right exactly.

894
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:46,280
Speaker 1: And that's why I'm really big on normalizing your dreams

895
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:49,839
Speaker 1: to yourself, because yeah, exactly, if your brain hasn't been

896
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 1: exposed to it, it's going to be really hard to

897
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 1: honestly even set the goal for yourself to be it

898
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:57,280
Speaker 1: or have it. And you know, I've definitely had people

899
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 1: like my business partner and fiance. He definitely should me

900
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 1: a lot on the business side of things that I

901
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 1: had never experienced before, and I was like, well, there's

902
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 1: a whole different world out there that I didn't even

903
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 1: know existed. But then also kind of more in the

904
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:11,879
Speaker 1: content creation space and like meeting people when I did.

905
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:13,759
Speaker 1: I'm big into moving and I love that you said

906
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:15,520
Speaker 1: that if you haven't been outside of your hometown, because

907
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:19,719
Speaker 1: for me, moving is just an incredible way to level

908
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 1: up your life. And I love to talk about the

909
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,560
Speaker 1: brain also being an association machine. So the brain loves

910
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 1: to make connections and associations between things, and when you

911
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:30,840
Speaker 1: move into a new environment, the brain has no prior

912
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 1: associations to anything. It's like it's a clean slate, and

913
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:36,759
Speaker 1: so it's really easy to establish a new identity or

914
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:39,360
Speaker 1: sort of new beliefs or a new mindset in a

915
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:42,840
Speaker 1: new environment because your brain has no prior associations to

916
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 1: kind of hold you back in that past version of yourself,

917
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:49,359
Speaker 1: and so it's really easy to start anew But yeah,

918
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:52,760
Speaker 1: and love I love going and putting myself in environments

919
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:56,279
Speaker 1: where I'm being around people or places or things that

920
00:42:56,600 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 1: are expanding my mind. It's an incredible way to level

921
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 1: up in your life and in your mindset and in

922
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 1: your ability to even set goals for yourself because I

923
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,640
Speaker 1: think for a long time, for me, I didn't even

924
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 1: know what I wanted to do or be or have.

925
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:15,359
Speaker 1: I didn't I didn't know like I didn't know any

926
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 1: of it, and so I think exposing myself to that,

927
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:21,120
Speaker 1: And like when I moved across the country to Miami,

928
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:22,960
Speaker 1: I didn't know a single person there, but being around

929
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,240
Speaker 1: certain people I knew, I was like, you know this person.

930
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 1: Not necessarily do they resonate with me, but I know

931
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 1: that they were brought into my reality to show me

932
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:34,279
Speaker 1: what's possible, and it really did expand my mind. So

933
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for that.

934
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:55,320
Speaker 2: How do we manifest based on neuroscience? How would neuroscience

935
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 2: suggest we do that?

936
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I have a three set process.

937
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 3: I love them, I know you, I.

938
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:07,879
Speaker 1: Love me, some steps and making it simple. That goes

939
00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:10,839
Speaker 1: back to my scientists days. So when it comes to manifesting,

940
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,279
Speaker 1: it really is the same thing for anything that you want.

941
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:15,520
Speaker 1: So the first step is to be is to identify

942
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:19,640
Speaker 1: the feelings. Identify the feelings that you believe the thing

943
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,399
Speaker 1: that you want is going to bring you. I always say,

944
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:24,479
Speaker 1: you don't want the thing that you want, You want

945
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:26,359
Speaker 1: the feeling that you believe the thing that you want

946
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 1: is going to bring you. So, for example, if you

947
00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:34,239
Speaker 1: are wanting a relationship, then you might the feeling you

948
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:36,280
Speaker 1: might be after is to be loved and feel safe

949
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:39,880
Speaker 1: and supported. If you're wanting a whole bunch of money,

950
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 1: it might be freedom. It might be security again, safety

951
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 1: and security and freedom, whatever it is, right, So those

952
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:47,719
Speaker 1: are a few examples. But whatever it is that you want,

953
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 1: write down whatever it is that you want, and then

954
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:52,440
Speaker 1: write down the feelings that you believe those things that

955
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,640
Speaker 1: you want are going to bring you. It's super important

956
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,360
Speaker 1: to identify the feelings. And I get a lot of

957
00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:57,799
Speaker 1: questions from people like what if I don't know what

958
00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:59,919
Speaker 1: I want? If you don't know what you want, that's

959
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:01,920
Speaker 1: it's fine. You can still write down the feelings that

960
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 1: you want because I think a lot of times maybe

961
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:04,959
Speaker 1: we don't know. And I think a lot of times

962
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:07,120
Speaker 1: also we think we know what we want, but we

963
00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 1: don't really know what we want, but it really is

964
00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 1: the feeling that we're after. And so identify the feelings.

965
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:14,479
Speaker 1: That's the first step. Identify the feelings and write them down,

966
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:18,520
Speaker 1: and then from there make two lists. The first list

967
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,400
Speaker 1: is a list of reasons why you already have to

968
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:23,400
Speaker 1: feel that way, and so for example, for me, I

969
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:26,840
Speaker 1: actually held a manifestation workshop in my community and I

970
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 1: was I always use personal examples, so mine was a

971
00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:33,120
Speaker 1: million followers on Instagram, and I didn't have it at

972
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:36,279
Speaker 1: the time, and I live on that call. I realized, Oh,

973
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 1: what I'm really after is feeling official and accomplished, Like

974
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 1: I want to feel official and accomplished. That's really what

975
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:44,880
Speaker 1: I want. And so then I identified those feelings, right,

976
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:46,319
Speaker 1: And so then the next step is to write a

977
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:48,240
Speaker 1: list of reasons I already have to feel that way.

978
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:50,680
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times again, our brain isn't

979
00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:54,399
Speaker 1: even letting us acknowledge that we actually can already feel

980
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:55,799
Speaker 1: that way in the present. And I was like, I

981
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:58,560
Speaker 1: already have this business, I'm coaching people, I'm changing lives,

982
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 1: I have a giant follow on social media, even if

983
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,000
Speaker 1: it's not a million. I have a lot of reasons

984
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:06,239
Speaker 1: to feel official and accomplished already, and writing a list

985
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:08,360
Speaker 1: of all those reasons down. And I have people in

986
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:10,480
Speaker 1: my community that they print out their resume and put

987
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:12,560
Speaker 1: it in their bathroom mirror, like all of the things

988
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 1: that they've done right to make them feel that way.

989
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:17,279
Speaker 1: But write down a list of the reasons why you

990
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:20,360
Speaker 1: already have to feel that way. And then the second

991
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:23,360
Speaker 1: list is a list of things right. So sometimes people

992
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:24,880
Speaker 1: will be like, well, I don't have any reason to

993
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:28,799
Speaker 1: feel that way, which to that I would argue. To that,

994
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 1: I would argue, try harder. But there is another list,

995
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:33,799
Speaker 1: and the list is a list of things that you

996
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:35,840
Speaker 1: can give yourself that you are in control over to

997
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:37,800
Speaker 1: feel that way. So, if I'm trying to feel official

998
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 1: and accomplished, what can I do today to make myself

999
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 1: feel more accomplished? Well, for me, I always feel accomplished

1000
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:47,520
Speaker 1: after I complete a workout. I always feel like I

1001
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 1: know that I'm writing a book. I can go write

1002
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:51,040
Speaker 1: a few pages of my book that will help me

1003
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:55,240
Speaker 1: feel accomplished. And so again, what will help me feel official?

1004
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 1: I mean the definition what an official means to me?

1005
00:46:58,280 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 1: I guess for me, it's just like, oh, I made it,

1006
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 1: and I guess that for that I could go and

1007
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:03,640
Speaker 1: maybe read comments from people like saying like, oh you

1008
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 1: really help me or whatever it is. So, what are

1009
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:08,800
Speaker 1: some activities that you can do to give yourself that feeling?

1010
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,239
Speaker 1: And I think combining the two is important, right because

1011
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:13,960
Speaker 1: again acknowledging all the reasons why you already have to

1012
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:17,120
Speaker 1: feel that way, but then also becoming more aware of

1013
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:19,640
Speaker 1: things that you can do in the moment to make

1014
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:22,040
Speaker 1: yourself feel that way. And when you start doing that,

1015
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:25,680
Speaker 1: and after like two months after doing that practice on myself,

1016
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:28,640
Speaker 1: I had a million followers on Instagram, and I do

1017
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 1: believe and know that it shifted my energy, right, Like

1018
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 1: I'm creating now from a different space of feeling more

1019
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 1: official and accomplished. And so I think that that kind

1020
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 1: of process of identifying the feelings, recognizing all the reasons

1021
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:44,480
Speaker 1: you already have to feel that way, and then becoming

1022
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 1: aware of things that you can do to help yourself

1023
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:48,680
Speaker 1: feel that way even more. When you start doing that,

1024
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,360
Speaker 1: now you have the feelings that you want already, and

1025
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:53,360
Speaker 1: now you're in a place where you can also be

1026
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 1: detached from the outcome. It's not going to stop you. You

1027
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:58,239
Speaker 1: should still go and work toward the thing that you're wanting, right.

1028
00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:00,480
Speaker 1: But that's how you rewire your brain. And so that's

1029
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:03,839
Speaker 1: sort of the neuroscience component. Of course, we could go

1030
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:06,240
Speaker 1: way deeper into this and talk about this for hours,

1031
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 1: but this is sort of like my short, condensed three

1032
00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:12,239
Speaker 1: step neuroscience component to becoming a match to whatever it

1033
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,239
Speaker 1: is that you want. And now when you're going and

1034
00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 1: working toward the journey, When I was going and working

1035
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:18,319
Speaker 1: toward a million followers. Now I'm working toward it with

1036
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:21,200
Speaker 1: a different energy. I'm working toward it as a match

1037
00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 1: to whatever it is that I want.

1038
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, that match piece is brilliant. I love the way

1039
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:28,399
Speaker 2: you broke that down. I think we all forget how

1040
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:31,760
Speaker 2: many difficult things we've already done, and how many amazing

1041
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:35,360
Speaker 2: barriers that we've already broken through, and how many challenges

1042
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:38,360
Speaker 2: we've already overcome. And if you just took a moment

1043
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 2: to recognize that, you'd feel so confident, because each and

1044
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:44,680
Speaker 2: everyone person who's listening to us has been through Helen

1045
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:48,439
Speaker 2: Back in their own way, and that experience is something

1046
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:51,399
Speaker 2: we kind of take for granted. We don't realize how

1047
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:53,439
Speaker 2: hard it was because to us it was normal, right.

1048
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:55,799
Speaker 2: We don't recognize just how much beauty there Isn't it?

1049
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:59,560
Speaker 2: That's brilliant. Do you believe that you can miss something

1050
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:00,719
Speaker 2: was meant for you?

1051
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:02,080
Speaker 3: Don't?

1052
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:06,040
Speaker 1: I don't believe that you can miss something that's meant

1053
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:09,640
Speaker 1: for you, because I think that really we are on

1054
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:13,440
Speaker 1: this journey to learn lessons and level up in our

1055
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:17,480
Speaker 1: own little game of life, and so I don't believe that.

1056
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:20,400
Speaker 1: And I think that if there is something that you

1057
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:23,520
Speaker 1: think that you missed out on, that you believe was

1058
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 1: meant for you. I think that I'm a firm believer

1059
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:30,879
Speaker 1: in divine timing, So everything happens in divine timing, maybe

1060
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:32,680
Speaker 1: not at that time, but it will come around and

1061
00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:35,239
Speaker 1: cycle back. I think that also life happens in these

1062
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 1: sort of cycles where every time you level up or

1063
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 1: just you know, you'll still see the same situation over

1064
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 1: and over again. So I don't think that you can

1065
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:45,799
Speaker 1: miss something that was meant for you if you're not

1066
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:47,799
Speaker 1: a match for whatever it is that you want, I

1067
00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 1: do think that you can miss it, but then in

1068
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 1: that case, it wasn't meant for you in that time.

1069
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:55,280
Speaker 2: At that time, I think you were talking about how

1070
00:49:56,239 --> 00:50:00,400
Speaker 2: if you judge someone, you can internalize those same things

1071
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:02,960
Speaker 2: that you're judging about them. And I really like that

1072
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:04,360
Speaker 2: you brought that out because I think one of the

1073
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 2: other biggest distractions right now is actually jealousy, comparison, gossip.

1074
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:13,640
Speaker 2: There's a sense of like, we'll talk about the person,

1075
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:15,480
Speaker 2: and it's what you said, was your fear with even

1076
00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:19,360
Speaker 2: becoming more public and being more vulnerable, is that people

1077
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 2: put themselves out there, then other people point to them

1078
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:25,120
Speaker 2: either make fun of it or call it cringe or

1079
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 2: whatever it may be, and then we don't realize we're

1080
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:29,880
Speaker 2: actually just setting ourselves up for failure too, because then

1081
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:32,520
Speaker 2: we're not able to put ourselves out there. Talk to

1082
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:35,000
Speaker 2: me about what do we do with feelings of jealousy

1083
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:38,400
Speaker 2: and comparison when they're so human, they're natural for us

1084
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:40,719
Speaker 2: all to feel, But how do we transform them into

1085
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:43,840
Speaker 2: something actually useful for us rather than something unhealthy?

1086
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:48,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think for jealousy a huge thing that I

1087
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 1: would do when I first I don't remember where I

1088
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:53,400
Speaker 1: learned this from, but I have a mantra or a

1089
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:55,920
Speaker 1: statement that I say, and when I see somebody with

1090
00:50:55,960 --> 00:51:00,040
Speaker 1: something that I want, I say, that's for me. And

1091
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:02,600
Speaker 1: I think jealousy a lot of time is it is

1092
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:04,880
Speaker 1: just fear with a mask. It's fear that we can't

1093
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:09,000
Speaker 1: have it too. It's fear that this person can achieve

1094
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:12,279
Speaker 1: this goal or have this thing and I can't have it,

1095
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 1: and so I'm going to be jealous of them. And

1096
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:17,080
Speaker 1: I think that it is sort of a limiting belief

1097
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:19,040
Speaker 1: and a limiting kind of mindset and behavior to be

1098
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:22,279
Speaker 1: jealous of somebody, because you're basically telling your brain that

1099
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 1: you can't have it. Whenever you're jealous of someone, you're

1100
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:28,840
Speaker 1: basically reinforcing to yourself that's not for me. And so

1101
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,920
Speaker 1: recognizing that that when you're jealous of someone, you're teaching

1102
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:35,480
Speaker 1: your brain that's not for me, then you're like, oh, wow,

1103
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:37,960
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that anymore. I want I'm

1104
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:39,600
Speaker 1: gonna teach my brain. And I think that a lot

1105
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:43,080
Speaker 1: of times we are shown things in reality to see them,

1106
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:45,879
Speaker 1: and when our brain is triggered it by this thing,

1107
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:47,480
Speaker 1: it's because we actually want it too, and it's to

1108
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:49,840
Speaker 1: be shown something that we can then go and work toward.

1109
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:52,920
Speaker 1: And so I started saying to myself, that's for me.

1110
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:55,000
Speaker 1: And I remember actually when I first moved to Miami

1111
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:55,960
Speaker 1: and I was on the beach and I went on

1112
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,200
Speaker 1: the beach and there's this couple having the super romantic

1113
00:51:58,239 --> 00:51:59,920
Speaker 1: like picnic on the sand, and I was very saying

1114
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:03,640
Speaker 1: and I just like I remember looking at them, and

1115
00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:05,640
Speaker 1: I took a video. I was like, that's for me,

1116
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 1: and just like being so took a creepy video from Afar,

1117
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:13,080
Speaker 1: like that's for me too. And it's really cool though,

1118
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:15,479
Speaker 1: because I think maybe it was about a year later

1119
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:18,680
Speaker 1: that I'm less than that. Actually that I met my

1120
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:21,279
Speaker 1: fiance and then we were both in Florida and we

1121
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:24,920
Speaker 1: were doing that, So it's super cool how that works.

1122
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:26,920
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think recognizing that you don't want to

1123
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:29,239
Speaker 1: teach your brain that you're limited in that way, like

1124
00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:31,719
Speaker 1: teach your brain that that's possible for you too, and

1125
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:34,160
Speaker 1: so recognizing that that's really what jealousy is is just

1126
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:35,120
Speaker 1: fear with a mask.

1127
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:37,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I really like the idea of that's for me,

1128
00:52:37,239 --> 00:52:40,239
Speaker 2: and the idea that when you are jealous of someone,

1129
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:42,799
Speaker 2: it's actually saying that's not for me, and that is

1130
00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:45,840
Speaker 2: the emotion that blocks you because and then you justify it.

1131
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:48,239
Speaker 2: You come up with so many reasons for why you

1132
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:51,080
Speaker 2: don't like what that person's doing, or so many reasons

1133
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:53,319
Speaker 2: for why you deserve that and they don't, but none

1134
00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:55,640
Speaker 2: of that actually motivates you to get out there. How

1135
00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:58,520
Speaker 2: much do you believe that our matching is feeling we're

1136
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 2: worthy of something or deserving of something, Like when you

1137
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:04,400
Speaker 2: say that's for me, that's you saying like, well, I

1138
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:06,560
Speaker 2: deserve a love like that, I deserve a picnic on

1139
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:09,799
Speaker 2: the beach like that. How much how much do we

1140
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:12,160
Speaker 2: struggle what's happening in the brain when we're struggling with

1141
00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:14,560
Speaker 2: feeling worthy or deserving of that.

1142
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:18,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it really is just a worthiness component

1143
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:21,760
Speaker 1: to it. And I think that there are different components

1144
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:24,239
Speaker 1: to achieving whatever it is that we want or having

1145
00:53:24,239 --> 00:53:26,759
Speaker 1: whatever it is we want, Like believing that it's possible

1146
00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:30,560
Speaker 1: is huge, but also believing that you are deserving and

1147
00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:34,680
Speaker 1: worthy of it. And worthiness comes down to self love

1148
00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:38,799
Speaker 1: and knowing yourself, and I think self love really is

1149
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:41,719
Speaker 1: one of the biggest components to all of this that

1150
00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:45,400
Speaker 1: we're talking about today, and loving yourself and so and

1151
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:48,680
Speaker 1: loving yourself is about more than just like doing self

1152
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:51,359
Speaker 1: love practices. It's also about knowing yourself and knowing who

1153
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:54,200
Speaker 1: you are and in the light parts and also in

1154
00:53:54,239 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 1: the dark parts, and giving yourself grace and also accepting

1155
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:01,600
Speaker 1: all that you are and accepting every single piece of yourself.

1156
00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:03,919
Speaker 1: And so when it comes to self love, of course,

1157
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:06,279
Speaker 1: there are so many I mean, the first thing on that,

1158
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:08,640
Speaker 1: what I would say is really your self talk and

1159
00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:11,960
Speaker 1: recognizing how you're talking to yourself is so important. But

1160
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:16,400
Speaker 1: I've seen insane shifts in my own life when I

1161
00:54:16,480 --> 00:54:20,439
Speaker 1: have decided that I'm worthy of something and a lot

1162
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:23,520
Speaker 1: of times we don't. Again, it's sort of that on

1163
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:27,200
Speaker 1: that same playing field of getting specific about your fears,

1164
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 1: like getting specific about your limiting beliefs and where you

1165
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:33,480
Speaker 1: are limiting yourself. And I think that worthiness is a

1166
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:35,839
Speaker 1: big component to that, and so recognizing that you are

1167
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:39,680
Speaker 1: worthy of whatever it is that you want is so important.

1168
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 1: And yeah, I mean you can, of course, like make

1169
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:44,879
Speaker 1: a list of all the reasons why you deserve it

1170
00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:48,240
Speaker 1: and why you are worthy of it, and that's great,

1171
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:50,920
Speaker 1: but also like it really can just be a decision

1172
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:53,839
Speaker 1: to decide that I am worthy of this, like I

1173
00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:56,520
Speaker 1: am worthy of this, and I do deserve it, and

1174
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 1: really like stepping into that. And if you don't believe

1175
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:02,719
Speaker 1: that you're worthy of it, then that's again an area

1176
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:03,960
Speaker 1: where you can take it all the way to the

1177
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:06,240
Speaker 1: end and ask yourself why, like why don't I believe

1178
00:55:06,239 --> 00:55:09,000
Speaker 1: that I'm worthy of this? And then getting clear on

1179
00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:11,320
Speaker 1: that and getting clear on your why, and then again

1180
00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:13,960
Speaker 1: you can rewrite the story from there and and kind

1181
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:17,239
Speaker 1: of create a new narrative around whether or not you're

1182
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:19,680
Speaker 1: worthy of something. But back when I rouse in the PhD,

1183
00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 1: I would go to this temple all the time and

1184
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:24,480
Speaker 1: hang out with all these monks, and I got like

1185
00:55:24,600 --> 00:55:27,040
Speaker 1: really close with a couple of them, and I think

1186
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:29,319
Speaker 1: one of my greatest takeaways from the time that I

1187
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,279
Speaker 1: spent there and just learning from them and talking to

1188
00:55:31,320 --> 00:55:37,480
Speaker 1: them is that wanting things, wanting material things and physical things,

1189
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:40,600
Speaker 1: whether it's money or a job or a relationship, whatever

1190
00:55:40,640 --> 00:55:43,239
Speaker 1: it is, that's it's it's not a bad thing. It's

1191
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:46,439
Speaker 1: it's not bad to want to make more money. It's

1192
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:49,000
Speaker 1: not bad. It's it's actually like one of the most

1193
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,120
Speaker 1: spiritual things that you can do is to be abundant,

1194
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:53,719
Speaker 1: because it's that's the state of nature is abundant. When

1195
00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 1: a tree blossoms with fruit, it's abundant with fruit, and

1196
00:55:57,200 --> 00:56:00,360
Speaker 1: so you like, we are abundant by nature, and recoging

1197
00:56:00,440 --> 00:56:03,680
Speaker 1: that and that, like the divine, by nature is abundant,

1198
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:06,600
Speaker 1: and so recognizing that you deserve to be abundant as well,

1199
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 1: and recognizing that honestly really helped me because before that

1200
00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:12,239
Speaker 1: I thought, I think this is also where a lot

1201
00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:14,399
Speaker 1: of like the hate or like because I've got I've

1202
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:16,960
Speaker 1: seen people before say things like, oh, it's bad to

1203
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:19,319
Speaker 1: want money, I don't like money, and all that. I

1204
00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:22,160
Speaker 1: think a lot of it comes from that place as

1205
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:25,000
Speaker 1: well as like thinking that it's bad or feeling guilty

1206
00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:27,759
Speaker 1: or shameful for wanting to achieve it. And I think

1207
00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:30,239
Speaker 1: it's really important to recognize that you don't need to

1208
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:32,920
Speaker 1: feel shameful or guilty for wanting things. That's actually like

1209
00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:36,880
Speaker 1: you came here to expand consciousness and expand along with

1210
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:40,520
Speaker 1: the universe universes expanding. We're here to expand, and a

1211
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:42,720
Speaker 1: lot of times that does mean to go after whatever

1212
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:45,800
Speaker 1: material thing that we're wanting. And that's that's it again,

1213
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:48,080
Speaker 1: it's not about the material thing. It's about who we're

1214
00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:50,719
Speaker 1: going to become on the journey toward achieving the material thing.

1215
00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:53,799
Speaker 1: But if the material thing is driving you, that's not

1216
00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:55,480
Speaker 1: a bad thing and you don't have to feel ashamed

1217
00:56:55,480 --> 00:56:57,239
Speaker 1: of it and you can actually feel worthy of it.

1218
00:56:57,800 --> 00:57:00,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so interesting how we think of them beliefs

1219
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:03,640
Speaker 2: as being I'm not good enough or I'm not smart enough.

1220
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:06,600
Speaker 2: But shame and guilt can be limiting beliefs as well,

1221
00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:08,680
Speaker 2: like I don't I feel like if I want that,

1222
00:57:08,719 --> 00:57:11,359
Speaker 2: then I'm a bad person. And if I want that,

1223
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:14,480
Speaker 2: then I'm not a good person, or whatever it may be.

1224
00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 2: And what do we do with that? What do we

1225
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:20,360
Speaker 2: do with limiting beliefs of I'm not good enough? And

1226
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:22,360
Speaker 2: what do we do with the shame and guilt of

1227
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:24,800
Speaker 2: maybe I'm not a good person if I want that?

1228
00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:29,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, So on the I'm not good enough piece, I

1229
00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:33,000
Speaker 1: think that's where I like to adopt the game of

1230
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:36,680
Speaker 1: life mindset. When you make it to a new level

1231
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:39,920
Speaker 1: of a game, you're tech you're good enough to get

1232
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:42,720
Speaker 1: there because you passed the previous level and you're on

1233
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:44,880
Speaker 1: this new level. But are you really good enough to

1234
00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:48,120
Speaker 1: play this level yet? Like? Probably no, you haven't learned

1235
00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:50,960
Speaker 1: the way this level works. You haven't learned the ins

1236
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:54,400
Speaker 1: and outs. Usually it takes yourself, you a few tries,

1237
00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:57,280
Speaker 1: and you got to go and navigate and learn the

1238
00:57:57,360 --> 00:58:00,000
Speaker 1: rules of this new level of life and this level

1239
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:03,160
Speaker 1: of the game. And so are you good enough to

1240
00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:06,320
Speaker 1: be on this level? Maybe not, but you're good enough

1241
00:58:06,680 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 1: to pass the previous one. And but recognizing that that's okay,

1242
00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:14,000
Speaker 1: Like you're not meant to be perfect at this new

1243
00:58:14,040 --> 00:58:17,080
Speaker 1: level yet, like you just got there, and so recognizing

1244
00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:18,840
Speaker 1: like for me, like I'm starting to write it, I

1245
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:20,479
Speaker 1: might not be good enough to be a best selling

1246
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:22,280
Speaker 1: author yet, But it's gonna be the journey that's going

1247
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 1: to make me into one. And so I think giving

1248
00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:28,000
Speaker 1: yourself permission, permission actually to not be good enough to

1249
00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:30,440
Speaker 1: do the thing. And I mean, of course, like understanding

1250
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:33,160
Speaker 1: who you are and knowing yourself and and and being confident.

1251
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 1: And I think I have like a hot take when

1252
00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:37,000
Speaker 1: it comes to confidence that it doesn't have to You're like,

1253
00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:40,840
Speaker 1: confidence isn't about achievements or accomplishments. Confidence is knowing who

1254
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:43,160
Speaker 1: you are. And I have a track on like all

1255
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:44,960
Speaker 1: streaming platforms, I'm like, I'm not trying to plug this

1256
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:47,160
Speaker 1: right now, but it's called like you don't even realize

1257
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:50,000
Speaker 1: who you are. And I think for me, whenever I

1258
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:53,000
Speaker 1: was first starting the journey to go into the PhD

1259
00:58:53,440 --> 00:58:55,760
Speaker 1: and moving to Arizona where I didn't know a single

1260
00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:57,800
Speaker 1: person there, I had people asking me like, aren't you afraid?

1261
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:00,320
Speaker 1: Are you nervous? And I wasn't at all, and and

1262
00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:02,680
Speaker 1: thinking about why I wasn't. It was because I had

1263
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:05,400
Speaker 1: just embarked on this journey of self improvement and knowing

1264
00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:08,760
Speaker 1: myself and self awareness and also like a huge spiritual

1265
00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 1: journey that I was on. And I think that those

1266
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 1: two things together and this sort of trust and surrender mentality.

1267
00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:17,200
Speaker 1: I had trust and surrender written on sticky notes everywhere.

1268
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:19,960
Speaker 1: Did I necessarily think I was good enough to be

1269
00:59:20,200 --> 00:59:22,960
Speaker 1: to be this like amazing scientist doing all these things.

1270
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:25,560
Speaker 1: I don't know if I really believe that, but I

1271
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:28,040
Speaker 1: believe that I was capable of being good enough to

1272
00:59:28,080 --> 00:59:31,200
Speaker 1: do it. So recognizing, of course, like innately I am worthy,

1273
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:34,640
Speaker 1: but also like mentally and physically, maybe I haven't gained

1274
00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:37,080
Speaker 1: those skills yet, but that's okay, I don't need to

1275
00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:40,120
Speaker 1: have those skills yet. From there, you can really again,

1276
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:42,320
Speaker 1: it all comes back to your why of why you

1277
00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:45,640
Speaker 1: want those things. Like for me, I don't feel shamed,

1278
00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:47,880
Speaker 1: like I don't feel ashamed or guilty for saying I

1279
00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:50,560
Speaker 1: wanted a million followers because I know that with my

1280
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:53,080
Speaker 1: platform growing then I can impact and help more people

1281
00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:56,200
Speaker 1: and that's my overall goal. Like and so yes, of course,

1282
00:59:56,240 --> 00:59:58,600
Speaker 1: like I want a million followers. Honestly, if I'm being

1283
00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:01,800
Speaker 1: honest with myself, I want even more. And that's okay

1284
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:04,680
Speaker 1: to want that, but also understanding that what is driving

1285
01:00:04,720 --> 01:00:06,720
Speaker 1: me to even build this from the beginning because I

1286
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:08,880
Speaker 1: never even my plan was never to be a content

1287
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:12,000
Speaker 1: creator in the first place, I was just becoming a scientist,

1288
01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:15,760
Speaker 1: and then the content about science was taking off. It

1289
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:19,040
Speaker 1: really is about helping people reach their maximum potential and

1290
01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:22,120
Speaker 1: giving people the information that I wish I had whenever

1291
01:00:22,160 --> 01:00:24,800
Speaker 1: I was younger that I didn't have, and so recognizing

1292
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:27,000
Speaker 1: my why and other people don't need to know that.

1293
01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 1: And I think one of the things that I've had

1294
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:32,560
Speaker 1: to really release on my journey is being understood and

1295
01:00:32,600 --> 01:00:35,360
Speaker 1: accepted by everyone. And when you are, I always say

1296
01:00:35,360 --> 01:00:38,320
Speaker 1: that being misunderstood is the tax that you pay for

1297
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:42,320
Speaker 1: being authentic and so and authenticity is the most magnetic

1298
01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:45,400
Speaker 1: energy that you could possibly have, Like you are so powerful,

1299
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:48,440
Speaker 1: because that's really if I have to name a purpose

1300
01:00:48,480 --> 01:00:50,560
Speaker 1: that can be distilled down to everyone, that is your

1301
01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:53,760
Speaker 1: purpose to be you, because like you came to this

1302
01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:56,880
Speaker 1: planet to be exactly who you are. You were made

1303
01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:59,360
Speaker 1: on purpose, and so that is your purpose to be you.

1304
01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:03,240
Speaker 1: Being yourself and being authentic is super powerful. And me

1305
01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:06,080
Speaker 1: kind of being myself and sharing that like that that

1306
01:01:06,240 --> 01:01:10,240
Speaker 1: is me just being authentic. But also I don't feel

1307
01:01:10,280 --> 01:01:12,640
Speaker 1: ashamed for it because I know my why and I

1308
01:01:12,720 --> 01:01:14,200
Speaker 1: know that it's a lot bigger than me, and I

1309
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:17,080
Speaker 1: know that it's going to be like helpful for people,

1310
01:01:17,120 --> 01:01:19,160
Speaker 1: and that's what's driving me, you know, And there are

1311
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:21,880
Speaker 1: people that and I can't speak for everyone, but there

1312
01:01:21,880 --> 01:01:24,600
Speaker 1: are people in my personal life that want to make

1313
01:01:25,160 --> 01:01:27,240
Speaker 1: more money and they are driven by money. And I

1314
01:01:27,280 --> 01:01:29,640
Speaker 1: think from there, it's like, okay, but what is your why?

1315
01:01:29,680 --> 01:01:31,520
Speaker 1: Like why do you want to make more money? And

1316
01:01:31,560 --> 01:01:33,000
Speaker 1: a lot of times it's okay, I want to be

1317
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:34,760
Speaker 1: able to take care of my family. I want to

1318
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:36,880
Speaker 1: be able to have a sense of freedom and safety

1319
01:01:36,880 --> 01:01:39,440
Speaker 1: and security. I don't want to have to worry about

1320
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:43,800
Speaker 1: certain things, and that is completely valid and okay, And

1321
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:47,160
Speaker 1: I think again, you mentioned giving yourself grace before, and

1322
01:01:47,240 --> 01:01:50,360
Speaker 1: that's something that I've recognized through working with people, that

1323
01:01:50,560 --> 01:01:54,280
Speaker 1: most people do not give themselves enough grace. We really do,

1324
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:58,560
Speaker 1: and forgiveness is powerful practice forgiving others but also forgiving yourself.

1325
01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 1: But I think that when it comes to feeling guilty

1326
01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:04,480
Speaker 1: or feeling shameful, I think thinking about it from the

1327
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:07,919
Speaker 1: neuroscience perspective to kind of attack from both sides here,

1328
01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:13,320
Speaker 1: realizing that you learned that story and that doesn't mean

1329
01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:16,560
Speaker 1: that it's true. And so if you feel guilty for

1330
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:20,520
Speaker 1: wanting money or a specific job. If you feel like

1331
01:02:20,560 --> 01:02:22,560
Speaker 1: if you feel like that makes you a bad person,

1332
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:25,560
Speaker 1: realize that you learn that from somewhere and that does

1333
01:02:25,720 --> 01:02:27,920
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that it's truth. It means that that's

1334
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:30,840
Speaker 1: what was programmed into you and from there. And this

1335
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:32,919
Speaker 1: is what I tell people with limiting beliefs as well,

1336
01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:35,600
Speaker 1: is look for evidence of the opposite. Look for evidence

1337
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:37,360
Speaker 1: of people. And I have people someone in my community

1338
01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:39,480
Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, there's this guy who's super rich,

1339
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:42,600
Speaker 1: multi millionaire, and he uses that money and donates it

1340
01:02:42,640 --> 01:02:44,120
Speaker 1: to charity and does a lot of great things. And

1341
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:46,360
Speaker 1: so that's a great example of someone who's gone out

1342
01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:48,040
Speaker 1: and made a lot of money and then used it

1343
01:02:48,080 --> 01:02:51,360
Speaker 1: for good. And so of course there are the opposite

1344
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:54,000
Speaker 1: side of that as well, but that doesn't that doesn't

1345
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:56,200
Speaker 1: mean that that's going to be you, and so recognizing

1346
01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:58,280
Speaker 1: that is important to.

1347
01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:17,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, what I appreciate is you're such a student of

1348
01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:21,480
Speaker 2: your own work, Like you're testing these things out in yourself,

1349
01:03:21,960 --> 01:03:23,960
Speaker 2: You're creating the things you wanted when you were younger.

1350
01:03:24,800 --> 01:03:27,240
Speaker 2: What's the work you're doing on yourself right now? Like,

1351
01:03:27,280 --> 01:03:31,520
Speaker 2: what are you working on and building for yourself right now?

1352
01:03:32,160 --> 01:03:36,200
Speaker 1: Recently I have been doing a lot of re releasing

1353
01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:40,200
Speaker 1: of being accepted and understood by other people. That's something

1354
01:03:40,240 --> 01:03:42,200
Speaker 1: that I've been writing down a lot in my journal,

1355
01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:47,520
Speaker 1: but also tapping back into more of my creative side.

1356
01:03:47,680 --> 01:03:50,440
Speaker 1: Something I live and swear by is doing morning brain dumps.

1357
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:53,160
Speaker 1: So every single morning I wake up and I just

1358
01:03:53,520 --> 01:03:55,680
Speaker 1: I write for about thirty minutes in my journal and

1359
01:03:55,720 --> 01:03:59,600
Speaker 1: I just write and and it's great for a lot

1360
01:03:59,640 --> 01:04:01,800
Speaker 1: of reasons, but also it is a great way of

1361
01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:05,600
Speaker 1: practicing non judgment of yourself. If you just allow yourself

1362
01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:07,680
Speaker 1: to get into flow and just write in your journal

1363
01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:10,720
Speaker 1: without judging it, without really overthinking it, but just stream

1364
01:04:10,760 --> 01:04:15,080
Speaker 1: of consciousness writing, it's really kind of priming your brain

1365
01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:17,000
Speaker 1: for flow for the rest of the day as well

1366
01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:19,520
Speaker 1: as well as you know, practicing no judge but of

1367
01:04:19,520 --> 01:04:22,200
Speaker 1: yourself and getting into more of a creative state. But

1368
01:04:22,200 --> 01:04:24,080
Speaker 1: also it's a really great way to observe your own

1369
01:04:24,120 --> 01:04:27,000
Speaker 1: patterns too, So I love kind of analyzing myself in

1370
01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:29,920
Speaker 1: that way. But that's really something that I've been tapping into.

1371
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:33,280
Speaker 1: And also I guess just really giving myself more grace

1372
01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:35,640
Speaker 1: because the past few weeks have been insane in my life,

1373
01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:38,120
Speaker 1: like we're we just closed on house and we're moving

1374
01:04:38,160 --> 01:04:40,600
Speaker 1: and getting engaged in all that, and I think, like

1375
01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:43,200
Speaker 1: I was telling you, the house is a mess. We

1376
01:04:43,280 --> 01:04:45,880
Speaker 1: don't have furniture, and there's a lot going on, But

1377
01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:49,720
Speaker 1: recognizing that the messy middle is proof of growth, and

1378
01:04:50,080 --> 01:04:53,240
Speaker 1: sometimes the in between stages mean that you're growing and

1379
01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:56,280
Speaker 1: leveling up, and so giving myself grace and that as

1380
01:04:56,280 --> 01:04:58,960
Speaker 1: well as and recognizing like, Okay, yeah, things are not

1381
01:04:59,200 --> 01:05:01,760
Speaker 1: put together right now, like we are not settled, I

1382
01:05:01,840 --> 01:05:04,760
Speaker 1: feel displaced, I feel a little bit all over the place,

1383
01:05:04,800 --> 01:05:07,480
Speaker 1: But recognizing that that means that I'm in a journey

1384
01:05:07,480 --> 01:05:11,080
Speaker 1: of leveling up and is a good sort of mindset

1385
01:05:11,080 --> 01:05:12,680
Speaker 1: to have while doing this. So I would say that

1386
01:05:12,720 --> 01:05:15,680
Speaker 1: those are really some of the key things that I'm working.

1387
01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:19,439
Speaker 1: I'm kind of acknowledging and wiring into my brain right now.

1388
01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:22,440
Speaker 2: You're releasing the need to be accepted by people. What

1389
01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:25,000
Speaker 2: is the part of you that is crave to be

1390
01:05:25,080 --> 01:05:26,800
Speaker 2: accepted that you're trying to release?

1391
01:05:27,760 --> 01:05:31,360
Speaker 1: So I think for me, I guess me understanding my

1392
01:05:31,480 --> 01:05:33,840
Speaker 1: why and understanding that I really am here to just

1393
01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:36,800
Speaker 1: help people in every way that I can. It's sort

1394
01:05:36,880 --> 01:05:43,040
Speaker 1: of tough when you see comments or get dms from people,

1395
01:05:43,120 --> 01:05:46,640
Speaker 1: and I mean people have negative things to say or

1396
01:05:46,680 --> 01:05:48,720
Speaker 1: they pick on like certain things like oh I can't

1397
01:05:48,760 --> 01:05:50,320
Speaker 1: believe that you would do this or whatever, and it's

1398
01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:52,960
Speaker 1: just like damn, Like I'm trying so hard to be

1399
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:55,480
Speaker 1: like a positive force for good. No matter what I do,

1400
01:05:55,520 --> 01:05:58,440
Speaker 1: it seems like some And so I've recognized sort of

1401
01:05:58,480 --> 01:06:01,480
Speaker 1: recently that maybe it's having a little more effect on

1402
01:06:01,560 --> 01:06:04,360
Speaker 1: me than I would like it too, and so becoming

1403
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:08,080
Speaker 1: aware of that and now also recognizing that I think

1404
01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:11,120
Speaker 1: a big thing that I've realized, and I guess another

1405
01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:12,640
Speaker 1: thing that I've been working on a lot lately is

1406
01:06:12,720 --> 01:06:16,480
Speaker 1: play and being in my joy more. Because actually we

1407
01:06:16,480 --> 01:06:18,560
Speaker 1: were in Sedona a couple of weeks ago, and it

1408
01:06:18,640 --> 01:06:20,440
Speaker 1: was funny because and this is you had mentioned a

1409
01:06:20,480 --> 01:06:22,200
Speaker 1: little bit about the videos, like what you put out

1410
01:06:22,200 --> 01:06:24,640
Speaker 1: and what you put onto people is actually mirrored in

1411
01:06:24,680 --> 01:06:27,160
Speaker 1: your brain and you're really putting it onto yourself. But

1412
01:06:27,240 --> 01:06:30,680
Speaker 1: I went to this like or reading thing and Alex

1413
01:06:30,720 --> 01:06:32,360
Speaker 1: he asked me, he was like, what color is my

1414
01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:34,160
Speaker 1: or going to be? And I told him brown, and

1415
01:06:34,720 --> 01:06:37,400
Speaker 1: he's like, what's your gold Mine's gonna be gold? And

1416
01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:41,439
Speaker 1: we go there and mine was brown. And it really

1417
01:06:41,560 --> 01:06:43,840
Speaker 1: is true, like you get what you give and there's

1418
01:06:44,080 --> 01:06:51,400
Speaker 1: tons of neuroscience behind Yeah it was gold. Yeah, and

1419
01:06:51,440 --> 01:06:53,800
Speaker 1: it really is like I mean obviously like and you

1420
01:06:53,880 --> 01:06:55,760
Speaker 1: kind of mentioned it a little bit, but when you

1421
01:06:55,800 --> 01:06:57,880
Speaker 1: when you talk about badly about other people or just

1422
01:06:57,920 --> 01:07:00,240
Speaker 1: make any sort of comments, like you are activating those

1423
01:07:00,240 --> 01:07:03,000
Speaker 1: pathways in your brain, and so your brain isn't necessarily

1424
01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:07,400
Speaker 1: even making the difference that it's about someone else. You're

1425
01:07:07,480 --> 01:07:10,200
Speaker 1: just focusing on that emotion and you're focusing on negativity

1426
01:07:10,280 --> 01:07:11,960
Speaker 1: or complaining. And for me it's like, okay, yeah, I'm

1427
01:07:11,960 --> 01:07:15,120
Speaker 1: focusing on that brown aura. But really what I was

1428
01:07:15,160 --> 01:07:17,080
Speaker 1: told and that was like you need to be pouring

1429
01:07:17,080 --> 01:07:19,000
Speaker 1: into yourself more, like you're pouring into a lot of

1430
01:07:19,040 --> 01:07:20,880
Speaker 1: other people, and you need to be pouring back into

1431
01:07:20,880 --> 01:07:25,400
Speaker 1: yourself more. And I've come to recognize that the comparison,

1432
01:07:25,800 --> 01:07:30,200
Speaker 1: the jealousy, being bothered by what other people have to say,

1433
01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:32,360
Speaker 1: it has a lot less of an effect when you're

1434
01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:36,240
Speaker 1: actually really enjoying your life and so pouring back into

1435
01:07:36,280 --> 01:07:39,080
Speaker 1: myself more and spending more time in play and like

1436
01:07:39,160 --> 01:07:41,400
Speaker 1: going on my ripstick and going hiking and playing with

1437
01:07:41,440 --> 01:07:45,280
Speaker 1: my dog but allowing myself to actually be in my

1438
01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:48,040
Speaker 1: joy more often and pouring more into myself is actually

1439
01:07:48,040 --> 01:07:50,320
Speaker 1: something that I've been doing more often that I kind

1440
01:07:50,320 --> 01:07:53,600
Speaker 1: of fell off of doing, and it I think that's

1441
01:07:53,720 --> 01:07:56,400
Speaker 1: one way that I am kind of lessening the effect

1442
01:07:56,440 --> 01:07:58,400
Speaker 1: of that, because yeah, I recognized that it was having

1443
01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:01,480
Speaker 1: more of an effect on me, and I have learned

1444
01:08:01,520 --> 01:08:05,680
Speaker 1: that those comments and what other people have to say,

1445
01:08:06,080 --> 01:08:10,040
Speaker 1: it really has less effect on you when you are

1446
01:08:10,160 --> 01:08:13,840
Speaker 1: actually truly enjoying your own life and feeling confident in yourself.

1447
01:08:14,120 --> 01:08:17,439
Speaker 1: That and I also had a dream. I had this

1448
01:08:17,560 --> 01:08:20,679
Speaker 1: dream about the neuroscience of reality and why you shouldn't

1449
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:23,919
Speaker 1: listen to what other people have to say, and that actually,

1450
01:08:24,040 --> 01:08:26,280
Speaker 1: of course it told me everything I needed to know,

1451
01:08:26,360 --> 01:08:30,160
Speaker 1: and I made a video about it, and it was like, basically,

1452
01:08:30,200 --> 01:08:34,760
Speaker 1: the neuroscience of reality and in short, is just the

1453
01:08:34,840 --> 01:08:37,800
Speaker 1: idea and understanding how the brain works. That your brain

1454
01:08:37,880 --> 01:08:41,320
Speaker 1: is constructing your entire experience of reality. Everything that you

1455
01:08:41,520 --> 01:08:44,439
Speaker 1: hear see like, you don't see with your eyes, you

1456
01:08:44,479 --> 01:08:46,479
Speaker 1: see with your brain. All your eyes do is just

1457
01:08:46,520 --> 01:08:49,400
Speaker 1: taken light signals and then those light signals travel through

1458
01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:51,519
Speaker 1: the brain where your thoughts and your emotions and your

1459
01:08:51,520 --> 01:08:54,879
Speaker 1: beliefs and your past. It's all incorporated before the image

1460
01:08:54,920 --> 01:08:57,439
Speaker 1: is even put together that you see. This is why

1461
01:08:57,880 --> 01:09:01,080
Speaker 1: they've they've shown differences in activity in people that when

1462
01:09:01,120 --> 01:09:02,960
Speaker 1: they look in the mirror like they have sort of

1463
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:06,840
Speaker 1: body dysmorphia or whatever it is. They've shown differences in

1464
01:09:06,880 --> 01:09:09,120
Speaker 1: brain activity in those people. So it's not just that like, oh,

1465
01:09:09,120 --> 01:09:11,439
Speaker 1: it's on their head, but really their brain is actually

1466
01:09:11,439 --> 01:09:16,000
Speaker 1: constructing the image of them differently. And so this works

1467
01:09:16,200 --> 01:09:18,360
Speaker 1: with everything in your reality. This is just how it works.

1468
01:09:18,400 --> 01:09:20,920
Speaker 1: It's not just vision. Also, it's same thing with sound,

1469
01:09:22,080 --> 01:09:25,240
Speaker 1: all of it. And so recognizing that what that means

1470
01:09:25,439 --> 01:09:28,720
Speaker 1: is my brain is different than your brain. You live

1471
01:09:28,800 --> 01:09:30,680
Speaker 1: in a completely different world than I do because your

1472
01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:33,280
Speaker 1: brain is constructing the world differently. You have a different brain,

1473
01:09:33,320 --> 01:09:35,680
Speaker 1: and so it's constructing a different world. And this is

1474
01:09:35,680 --> 01:09:37,960
Speaker 1: why actually science shows that no two people see color

1475
01:09:38,000 --> 01:09:40,000
Speaker 1: the exact same way, because no two people have the

1476
01:09:40,040 --> 01:09:41,880
Speaker 1: exact same brain. I used to work in a color

1477
01:09:41,920 --> 01:09:44,680
Speaker 1: vision lab and I got to see how different objects

1478
01:09:44,880 --> 01:09:47,479
Speaker 1: and were plotted on this color map, and how different

1479
01:09:47,479 --> 01:09:50,519
Speaker 1: individuals would see the same color fruit And it was

1480
01:09:50,520 --> 01:09:54,880
Speaker 1: pretty cool to see that. But yeah, and so recognizing that, like, okay,

1481
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:57,880
Speaker 1: every single person is seeing the world differently, like they're

1482
01:09:57,960 --> 01:10:01,160
Speaker 1: essentially living in a different reality. And so when somebody

1483
01:10:01,200 --> 01:10:05,400
Speaker 1: makes a comment or they say something that might be

1484
01:10:05,520 --> 01:10:07,720
Speaker 1: actually true for their reality, it might be true for them,

1485
01:10:07,760 --> 01:10:09,519
Speaker 1: that might be the world that they live in, but

1486
01:10:09,520 --> 01:10:11,080
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that it has to be the world

1487
01:10:11,080 --> 01:10:12,920
Speaker 1: that I live in, and doesn't mean that it has

1488
01:10:12,960 --> 01:10:15,760
Speaker 1: to be true for my reality. And so recognizing that,

1489
01:10:16,600 --> 01:10:18,840
Speaker 1: and of course, like everybody's on their own journey, their

1490
01:10:18,840 --> 01:10:21,320
Speaker 1: own timeline, their own path, they have their own programming,

1491
01:10:21,360 --> 01:10:23,760
Speaker 1: like the kittens, Like imagine the kittens that were raised

1492
01:10:23,760 --> 01:10:26,719
Speaker 1: with the horizontal lines giving giving advice to the kittens

1493
01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:28,479
Speaker 1: with the vertical lines, the kittens of the vertical lines,

1494
01:10:28,520 --> 01:10:29,960
Speaker 1: and be like, what are you talking about? That doesn't

1495
01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:34,360
Speaker 1: make sense at all, And that's it's the same thing

1496
01:10:34,439 --> 01:10:37,800
Speaker 1: for people. We're all programmed and raised differently. And that's

1497
01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:39,840
Speaker 1: why you know, we should take or resonates and leave

1498
01:10:39,840 --> 01:10:43,280
Speaker 1: what does not resonate. But also I think that that's

1499
01:10:43,280 --> 01:10:45,559
Speaker 1: given me a lot of reassurance, So think thankful for

1500
01:10:45,600 --> 01:10:48,400
Speaker 1: that dream, but it's given me a lot of reassurance

1501
01:10:48,880 --> 01:10:50,960
Speaker 1: on my journey of releasing that.

1502
01:10:51,439 --> 01:10:53,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's beautiful, Thank you for sharing that. I wanted

1503
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:56,120
Speaker 2: to talk to you about love. You just go engaged

1504
01:10:56,120 --> 01:10:59,960
Speaker 2: two weeks ago, and you've said that you don't attract

1505
01:11:00,120 --> 01:11:03,559
Speaker 2: what you want. You attract what your brain is wired for.

1506
01:11:04,439 --> 01:11:06,760
Speaker 2: And I wanted to ask you for anyone right now

1507
01:11:06,800 --> 01:11:10,280
Speaker 2: who's in that space where they're like, I want to

1508
01:11:10,280 --> 01:11:12,800
Speaker 2: be in love, I want to find my person, but

1509
01:11:12,840 --> 01:11:16,000
Speaker 2: maybe they just got broken up with. What do you

1510
01:11:16,080 --> 01:11:19,080
Speaker 2: do when you're feeling going back to what we talked

1511
01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:21,479
Speaker 2: about earlier, you're almost feeling so desperate that you just

1512
01:11:21,520 --> 01:11:24,160
Speaker 2: want to find this person, and you keep hearing different

1513
01:11:24,160 --> 01:11:25,960
Speaker 2: forms of advice. Someone's like, yeah, you just got to

1514
01:11:25,960 --> 01:11:27,800
Speaker 2: get on the apps, you got to focus, and the

1515
01:11:27,840 --> 01:11:30,559
Speaker 2: other person saying, no, you'll find someone when you're least

1516
01:11:30,800 --> 01:11:33,320
Speaker 2: interested in looking for them. People are confused, where do

1517
01:11:33,400 --> 01:11:36,160
Speaker 2: they start? From a neuroscience point of view, Yeah.

1518
01:11:35,960 --> 01:11:38,479
Speaker 1: So I can share my story of it all. And

1519
01:11:38,560 --> 01:11:42,679
Speaker 1: of course it's really funny because whenever I was still dating,

1520
01:11:42,760 --> 01:11:44,280
Speaker 1: I used to people in my life would be like,

1521
01:11:44,520 --> 01:11:47,400
Speaker 1: you date like a scientist, and I absolutely did date

1522
01:11:47,439 --> 01:11:49,759
Speaker 1: like a scientist. So everything I like to be super

1523
01:11:49,760 --> 01:11:52,759
Speaker 1: intentional with the way that I do things. So whenever

1524
01:11:52,800 --> 01:11:54,760
Speaker 1: I would date people or go on dates or whatever,

1525
01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:56,400
Speaker 1: it is, like I said, you do have to be

1526
01:11:56,400 --> 01:11:58,240
Speaker 1: a match for it, but also you should be sort

1527
01:11:58,240 --> 01:12:01,120
Speaker 1: of putting yourself in positions. But so I would go

1528
01:12:01,160 --> 01:12:04,360
Speaker 1: on dates and stuff or whatever. And actually what ended

1529
01:12:04,439 --> 01:12:06,519
Speaker 1: up happening was I ended up with a list. I

1530
01:12:06,520 --> 01:12:08,600
Speaker 1: love lists, if that's not obvious. I ended up with

1531
01:12:08,640 --> 01:12:10,719
Speaker 1: a list of all the different qualities that I wanted

1532
01:12:10,760 --> 01:12:13,719
Speaker 1: in a partner because I became very aware and clear

1533
01:12:13,760 --> 01:12:15,559
Speaker 1: of what I didn't like in people and what I did,

1534
01:12:16,120 --> 01:12:19,240
Speaker 1: at least for myself, right, And so these weren't necessarily

1535
01:12:19,360 --> 01:12:24,040
Speaker 1: physical attributes, but values and different characteristics of a person.

1536
01:12:24,520 --> 01:12:26,880
Speaker 1: I took stock of, Okay, where am I a match

1537
01:12:26,920 --> 01:12:29,000
Speaker 1: to that? Where am I not? Like if I'm wanting

1538
01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:33,200
Speaker 1: someone that's physically active and physically healthy and into fitness

1539
01:12:33,280 --> 01:12:36,000
Speaker 1: and likes to eat healthy and all that, like am

1540
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:37,080
Speaker 1: I living that lifestyle?

1541
01:12:37,160 --> 01:12:37,320
Speaker 2: Right?

1542
01:12:37,360 --> 01:12:39,280
Speaker 1: Like? Am I a match for that? And so I

1543
01:12:39,280 --> 01:12:41,040
Speaker 1: think that's the first step is getting super clear. And

1544
01:12:41,080 --> 01:12:44,000
Speaker 1: I think also understanding what you want is very important

1545
01:12:44,040 --> 01:12:46,360
Speaker 1: when it comes to wanting to date someone so or

1546
01:12:46,400 --> 01:12:49,280
Speaker 1: wanting to meet your person. That's Honestly, what I did

1547
01:12:49,320 --> 01:12:52,880
Speaker 1: is I would treat it like an experiment and collect

1548
01:12:52,960 --> 01:12:55,720
Speaker 1: data of all the different things that I valued and

1549
01:12:55,760 --> 01:12:58,559
Speaker 1: things that I didn't, and then on that list, recognizing like, Okay,

1550
01:12:58,600 --> 01:13:00,439
Speaker 1: where am I out of sync with whatever it is

1551
01:13:00,479 --> 01:13:03,080
Speaker 1: that I'm asking for? Am I asking for something that

1552
01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:06,439
Speaker 1: I'm not currently embodying, and then embodying that, And then,

1553
01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:10,160
Speaker 1: honestly what happened was I did give up. I did

1554
01:13:10,200 --> 01:13:14,080
Speaker 1: actually give up. I met my fiance literally the same

1555
01:13:14,120 --> 01:13:16,320
Speaker 1: week I had said to my friends I'm giving up

1556
01:13:16,320 --> 01:13:19,880
Speaker 1: on dating. I went through like a little bit of

1557
01:13:19,920 --> 01:13:22,479
Speaker 1: like a talking stage and then ended it and I

1558
01:13:22,520 --> 01:13:24,000
Speaker 1: was like, I'm giving up. I'm just gonna focus on

1559
01:13:24,040 --> 01:13:26,439
Speaker 1: my business, I'm gonna focus on content, I'm gonna I'm

1560
01:13:26,479 --> 01:13:29,960
Speaker 1: just gonna do me. And and literally I was in

1561
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:31,679
Speaker 1: the middle of doing me. And you heard the story

1562
01:13:31,720 --> 01:13:33,760
Speaker 1: of like how we met, but we met on a

1563
01:13:33,760 --> 01:13:37,280
Speaker 1: work call, so I was in the process of doing me.

1564
01:13:37,760 --> 01:13:40,559
Speaker 1: And I think that it really does work well when

1565
01:13:40,560 --> 01:13:43,800
Speaker 1: it happens that way, because I met someone that was

1566
01:13:43,880 --> 01:13:46,040
Speaker 1: literally my perfect match, and it was really cool because

1567
01:13:46,680 --> 01:13:48,919
Speaker 1: I think maybe like a few weeks after we officially

1568
01:13:48,960 --> 01:13:50,600
Speaker 1: started dating or whatever, it was I went back and

1569
01:13:50,600 --> 01:13:53,519
Speaker 1: looked at the list, and he checks every single box

1570
01:13:53,720 --> 01:13:56,720
Speaker 1: on that list, and so it works. And I think

1571
01:13:56,840 --> 01:13:59,240
Speaker 1: from that for that, I also tell people like, don't

1572
01:13:59,280 --> 01:14:01,599
Speaker 1: ever settle, like I don't settle for a person. And

1573
01:14:01,720 --> 01:14:03,519
Speaker 1: it was really cool because when I it was that

1574
01:14:03,560 --> 01:14:05,840
Speaker 1: moment of like, oh, that's what it's supposed to feel

1575
01:14:05,880 --> 01:14:08,280
Speaker 1: like like that. For so long, I was like fighting

1576
01:14:08,320 --> 01:14:10,960
Speaker 1: to make certain things work, or like trying to like

1577
01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:14,200
Speaker 1: make explain myself in situations or whatever it is. But

1578
01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:17,880
Speaker 1: then finding that person that really understands you that you

1579
01:14:17,920 --> 01:14:20,800
Speaker 1: don't have to over explain yourself all the time is

1580
01:14:21,360 --> 01:14:25,240
Speaker 1: really incredible. But yeah, and so I guess just again

1581
01:14:25,880 --> 01:14:27,680
Speaker 1: getting clear on the feelings that you want. And I

1582
01:14:27,680 --> 01:14:30,000
Speaker 1: think when it comes to manifesting love from the neuroscience

1583
01:14:30,120 --> 01:14:32,800
Speaker 1: perspective of it, you do have to date yourself. And

1584
01:14:32,840 --> 01:14:34,960
Speaker 1: people do say that, and you do. You do have

1585
01:14:35,040 --> 01:14:37,040
Speaker 1: to be in love with yourself, and you do have

1586
01:14:37,120 --> 01:14:39,680
Speaker 1: to date yourself, and you do need to have a

1587
01:14:39,720 --> 01:14:42,439
Speaker 1: really good relationship with yourself because I mean, the truth

1588
01:14:42,520 --> 01:14:45,120
Speaker 1: is is that like relationships are like they are work

1589
01:14:45,360 --> 01:14:47,080
Speaker 1: and you do have to pour into them and there

1590
01:14:47,080 --> 01:14:50,360
Speaker 1: are going to be moments where you're gonna maybe not

1591
01:14:50,479 --> 01:14:54,800
Speaker 1: see it the same way, But understanding yourself and really

1592
01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:57,240
Speaker 1: being really confident in who you are is really important,

1593
01:14:57,280 --> 01:15:00,360
Speaker 1: even for the longevity of a relationship. So it's more

1594
01:15:00,400 --> 01:15:03,360
Speaker 1: than just about finding your person, but also making that

1595
01:15:03,439 --> 01:15:07,320
Speaker 1: relationship last and making it a healthy relationship. Dating yourself

1596
01:15:07,320 --> 01:15:09,439
Speaker 1: and really being in love with yourself and having a

1597
01:15:09,479 --> 01:15:12,840
Speaker 1: positive relationship with yourself is super important. So I think,

1598
01:15:13,600 --> 01:15:17,040
Speaker 1: of course, then again, what's the follow the three step

1599
01:15:17,080 --> 01:15:20,800
Speaker 1: process that I said earlier? Identify the feelings that you

1600
01:15:20,840 --> 01:15:22,720
Speaker 1: want the person to give you. Do you want them

1601
01:15:22,800 --> 01:15:24,200
Speaker 1: to make you feel safe? Do you want them to

1602
01:15:24,200 --> 01:15:26,879
Speaker 1: make you feel supportive? Are you making yourself feel supportive?

1603
01:15:27,040 --> 01:15:29,600
Speaker 1: Do you support yourself? Do you celebrate yourself? If you

1604
01:15:29,640 --> 01:15:32,280
Speaker 1: want someone to celebrate you, are you celebrating yourself? Because

1605
01:15:32,560 --> 01:15:34,080
Speaker 1: the way that it works is then if you get

1606
01:15:34,080 --> 01:15:36,599
Speaker 1: into a relationship, you start dating someone or whatever it is,

1607
01:15:36,880 --> 01:15:40,320
Speaker 1: and they don't celebrate you, if you don't celebrate yourself,

1608
01:15:40,439 --> 01:15:44,240
Speaker 1: you might let that slide. But if you're celebrating yourself

1609
01:15:44,560 --> 01:15:47,840
Speaker 1: and you're loving yourself and showing yourself all of the

1610
01:15:48,000 --> 01:15:49,960
Speaker 1: being for yourself, all of the things that you're wanting

1611
01:15:49,960 --> 01:15:53,559
Speaker 1: from someone, else then you would You wouldn't even settling,

1612
01:15:53,600 --> 01:15:56,280
Speaker 1: wouldn't even be in your vocabulary, because as soon as

1613
01:15:56,320 --> 01:15:58,919
Speaker 1: somebody didn't do something that you would do for yourself,

1614
01:15:59,080 --> 01:16:00,880
Speaker 1: little switch will go off and brain and be like, Okay,

1615
01:16:01,000 --> 01:16:03,400
Speaker 1: something is a mismatch here and it's not Maybe it's

1616
01:16:03,439 --> 01:16:05,080
Speaker 1: not completely a match, or maybe it's something you need

1617
01:16:05,120 --> 01:16:08,479
Speaker 1: to communicate, but either way, again, giving yourself all the

1618
01:16:08,479 --> 01:16:11,120
Speaker 1: feelings that you want to have from that person is

1619
01:16:11,160 --> 01:16:13,479
Speaker 1: then going to make you a match for it. And

1620
01:16:13,520 --> 01:16:16,360
Speaker 1: then also whenever you're dating someone that's not a match again,

1621
01:16:16,560 --> 01:16:18,800
Speaker 1: that's where your question of do you think that you

1622
01:16:18,840 --> 01:16:21,240
Speaker 1: can miss something that's meant for you? This is going

1623
01:16:21,280 --> 01:16:22,840
Speaker 1: to make you better at missing things that are not

1624
01:16:22,880 --> 01:16:23,320
Speaker 1: meant for you.

1625
01:16:24,120 --> 01:16:24,439
Speaker 3: What's that?

1626
01:16:25,160 --> 01:16:27,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been great. I've learned so much and I

1627
01:16:28,040 --> 01:16:32,240
Speaker 2: think we've touched on everything from manifestation to relationships, to

1628
01:16:32,360 --> 01:16:35,040
Speaker 2: people dealing with self doubt, to people knowing their values,

1629
01:16:35,080 --> 01:16:39,639
Speaker 2: getting to know themselves, being able to understand My biggest

1630
01:16:39,640 --> 01:16:44,000
Speaker 2: takeaway has been this idea of the mismatch of identity

1631
01:16:44,040 --> 01:16:47,479
Speaker 2: with goal or even identity with the person. And I

1632
01:16:47,520 --> 01:16:49,240
Speaker 2: think that's going to help so many people. And I

1633
01:16:49,280 --> 01:16:52,040
Speaker 2: love all your steps and lists keep them coming there great.

1634
01:16:52,720 --> 01:16:54,559
Speaker 2: But Emily, we end every episode of On Purpose with

1635
01:16:54,560 --> 01:16:56,800
Speaker 2: a final five. These questions have to be answered in

1636
01:16:56,880 --> 01:16:59,639
Speaker 2: one word or one sentence maximum for each of them.

1637
01:17:00,320 --> 01:17:04,040
Speaker 2: And then sometimes I'll break the rules that I'll.

1638
01:17:03,880 --> 01:17:04,280
Speaker 3: Let you know.

1639
01:17:04,600 --> 01:17:07,320
Speaker 2: So the first question is what is the best advice

1640
01:17:07,360 --> 01:17:08,519
Speaker 2: You've ever had or received?

1641
01:17:09,000 --> 01:17:11,640
Speaker 1: The best piece of advice I've ever heard or received

1642
01:17:12,240 --> 01:17:17,080
Speaker 1: is don't follow or do what you think you should

1643
01:17:17,160 --> 01:17:19,160
Speaker 1: do or what you think is going to work, but

1644
01:17:19,280 --> 01:17:22,040
Speaker 1: follow or do the thing that most lights you up,

1645
01:17:22,080 --> 01:17:23,880
Speaker 1: because that's the thing that you're going to make work

1646
01:17:23,920 --> 01:17:24,360
Speaker 1: in the end.

1647
01:17:25,240 --> 01:17:28,599
Speaker 3: Well said question number two, what is the worst advice

1648
01:17:28,640 --> 01:17:29,799
Speaker 3: you've ever had or received?

1649
01:17:30,200 --> 01:17:32,920
Speaker 1: You you have to follow this diet or you have

1650
01:17:33,000 --> 01:17:35,280
Speaker 1: to create content this way, you have to have this

1651
01:17:35,320 --> 01:17:37,920
Speaker 1: schedule for posting, you have to do this, that or

1652
01:17:37,920 --> 01:17:43,240
Speaker 1: the other. I think when you try to follow specific

1653
01:17:44,040 --> 01:17:46,960
Speaker 1: step by step pads that work for other people. And

1654
01:17:47,000 --> 01:17:48,720
Speaker 1: I think for the same reason of the neuroscience of

1655
01:17:48,760 --> 01:17:51,400
Speaker 1: reality and that you live in a different world. It

1656
01:17:51,479 --> 01:17:54,439
Speaker 1: might be true for somebody else's world, but it's not

1657
01:17:54,520 --> 01:17:57,400
Speaker 1: necessarily true for your world and your reality. And so

1658
01:17:57,840 --> 01:18:01,800
Speaker 1: I think any piece of advice that my answer would

1659
01:18:01,800 --> 01:18:03,600
Speaker 1: be any piece of advice that is calling you to

1660
01:18:03,640 --> 01:18:05,080
Speaker 1: go against your own intuition.

1661
01:18:06,680 --> 01:18:08,760
Speaker 2: The question number three, for anyone who's listening to this,

1662
01:18:09,560 --> 01:18:12,080
Speaker 2: when they wake up tomorrow morning, what's one thing you'd

1663
01:18:12,120 --> 01:18:13,719
Speaker 2: like them to try or do differently?

1664
01:18:13,920 --> 01:18:17,519
Speaker 1: All right, when you wake up tomorrow morning, well before

1665
01:18:17,560 --> 01:18:19,160
Speaker 1: you went to bed, I hope you didn't give yourself

1666
01:18:19,160 --> 01:18:21,720
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of cheap dopamine so that your dopamine

1667
01:18:21,760 --> 01:18:27,040
Speaker 1: stores can replenish themselves. But I would like them to

1668
01:18:27,080 --> 01:18:33,240
Speaker 1: try the three m's movement, mindset, and mindfulness. And they

1669
01:18:33,280 --> 01:18:36,720
Speaker 1: can be done in any order. But these three components

1670
01:18:36,800 --> 01:18:39,320
Speaker 1: in the morning, they make you that deeply rooted tree

1671
01:18:39,360 --> 01:18:41,799
Speaker 1: so that you're not swayed in the wind of life.

1672
01:18:41,840 --> 01:18:44,760
Speaker 1: And it can be as short as fifteen minutes, it

1673
01:18:44,800 --> 01:18:47,080
Speaker 1: can take you two hours for me, it depends on

1674
01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:49,680
Speaker 1: the day. But movement is super important. I mean, every

1675
01:18:49,760 --> 01:18:52,080
Speaker 1: single night, as you sleep, your brain dumps a whole

1676
01:18:52,080 --> 01:18:55,240
Speaker 1: bunch of waste down into your neck through the glymphatic system.

1677
01:18:55,520 --> 01:18:58,240
Speaker 1: If you're not moving in some way, shape or form,

1678
01:18:58,560 --> 01:19:01,200
Speaker 1: it will just sit there in your neck. And there's

1679
01:19:01,240 --> 01:19:03,240
Speaker 1: actually been some studies now showing they're linking that to

1680
01:19:03,240 --> 01:19:07,320
Speaker 1: Alzheimer's and cognitive decline. And so it's just super important

1681
01:19:07,400 --> 01:19:10,599
Speaker 1: to move your body. And back in my PhD days,

1682
01:19:10,600 --> 01:19:13,360
Speaker 1: whenever I was super busy, I would just hit three

1683
01:19:13,439 --> 01:19:16,679
Speaker 1: sun salutations like thirties, like one minute, and I would

1684
01:19:16,680 --> 01:19:19,120
Speaker 1: be on with that. And then mindfulness. And a lot

1685
01:19:19,160 --> 01:19:20,960
Speaker 1: of people ask me like, what's the difference between mindfulness

1686
01:19:21,000 --> 01:19:24,840
Speaker 1: and mindset? For me, mindfulness is raking the soil, and

1687
01:19:24,920 --> 01:19:29,480
Speaker 1: mindset is planning the seeds. So mindfulness can look like meditating,

1688
01:19:29,560 --> 01:19:31,840
Speaker 1: it can look like breathwork, whatever that is. And then

1689
01:19:31,920 --> 01:19:36,040
Speaker 1: mindset for me is setting an attention or an affirmation

1690
01:19:36,479 --> 01:19:39,040
Speaker 1: or whatever it is. If you do those three things

1691
01:19:39,040 --> 01:19:41,760
Speaker 1: in the morning, you really will set yourself up for

1692
01:19:41,880 --> 01:19:44,439
Speaker 1: success on a level that you might not have ever

1693
01:19:44,439 --> 01:19:45,040
Speaker 1: seen before.

1694
01:19:45,520 --> 01:19:49,519
Speaker 2: Nice a question of before, what's something that you've learned

1695
01:19:49,520 --> 01:19:52,840
Speaker 2: in euroscience that still shocks you or something recently that

1696
01:19:52,880 --> 01:19:56,280
Speaker 2: you learned that really stands out to you about us.

1697
01:19:56,640 --> 01:19:59,280
Speaker 1: The one thing that still shocks me that is super

1698
01:19:59,320 --> 01:20:01,400
Speaker 1: powerful and really important to know that I never hear

1699
01:20:01,439 --> 01:20:05,280
Speaker 1: anybody talk about is how the vagus nerve ties in

1700
01:20:05,320 --> 01:20:09,559
Speaker 1: with our ability to manifest and our intuition Yeah, So

1701
01:20:09,760 --> 01:20:12,000
Speaker 1: there's actually research to show that the level of our

1702
01:20:12,160 --> 01:20:14,599
Speaker 1: the level of how much our vegus nerve is toned,

1703
01:20:15,080 --> 01:20:18,920
Speaker 1: actually is connected to our intuition. And of course the

1704
01:20:19,000 --> 01:20:21,960
Speaker 1: vegus nerve is the tenth granial nerve and it is

1705
01:20:22,000 --> 01:20:25,960
Speaker 1: what is really responsible for that mind body connection. And

1706
01:20:26,000 --> 01:20:27,719
Speaker 1: what they've found is that not so when I say,

1707
01:20:27,760 --> 01:20:29,960
Speaker 1: like the vegus nerve, how toned it is, you can

1708
01:20:29,960 --> 01:20:31,559
Speaker 1: think of it like a muscle. So when your muscles

1709
01:20:31,560 --> 01:20:36,360
Speaker 1: are really toned, When your muscles are really toned, they're stronger.

1710
01:20:36,400 --> 01:20:39,559
Speaker 1: When your vegus nerve is really toned, it's stronger, it's better,

1711
01:20:39,640 --> 01:20:44,000
Speaker 1: it's better. And so when you have more vegas tone,

1712
01:20:44,920 --> 01:20:47,759
Speaker 1: they've actually found that your your sense of intuition is stronger,

1713
01:20:47,960 --> 01:20:51,160
Speaker 1: it's more accurate. But also your nervous system is more regulated,

1714
01:20:51,200 --> 01:20:52,960
Speaker 1: so you're in more of that kind of like rest

1715
01:20:53,040 --> 01:20:56,679
Speaker 1: and digest feeling of safety. You're better able to rewire

1716
01:20:56,720 --> 01:21:00,360
Speaker 1: your brain, you're better able to learn new things, and

1717
01:21:00,400 --> 01:21:03,360
Speaker 1: it's super powerful. And something that I always tell people,

1718
01:21:03,520 --> 01:21:06,280
Speaker 1: and I've talked about before, is just how easy it

1719
01:21:06,320 --> 01:21:07,880
Speaker 1: is to tone it, like right in the moment, like

1720
01:21:07,880 --> 01:21:11,160
Speaker 1: if you're feeling anxious, you can just start humming and

1721
01:21:11,320 --> 01:21:13,840
Speaker 1: humming or you know, ohm or whatever it is. It's

1722
01:21:13,840 --> 01:21:16,439
Speaker 1: really cool, how like ancient kind of spiritual practices are

1723
01:21:16,960 --> 01:21:20,679
Speaker 1: already doing it. But humming actually tones the vegas nerve,

1724
01:21:20,720 --> 01:21:22,760
Speaker 1: and that's one There are many ways to tone the

1725
01:21:22,840 --> 01:21:24,640
Speaker 1: vegas nerve, but that's one thing that you can do

1726
01:21:24,760 --> 01:21:27,880
Speaker 1: in real time that you'll immediately start to feel calmer

1727
01:21:27,960 --> 01:21:30,439
Speaker 1: and more relaxed in the moment. But yeah, and so

1728
01:21:30,479 --> 01:21:32,719
Speaker 1: they've shown that when your vegus nerve is not as toned,

1729
01:21:33,280 --> 01:21:36,320
Speaker 1: you actually have lower heart rate variability. And heart rate

1730
01:21:36,400 --> 01:21:39,160
Speaker 1: variability is also linked to intuition, and of course nervous

1731
01:21:39,160 --> 01:21:42,360
Speaker 1: system dysregulation, and so we're kind of more stuck in

1732
01:21:42,360 --> 01:21:45,320
Speaker 1: that fight or flight our intuition is less accurate. And

1733
01:21:45,360 --> 01:21:47,800
Speaker 1: so I think the vegus nerve is a kind of

1734
01:21:47,880 --> 01:21:50,600
Speaker 1: cool avenue to think about and talk about that I

1735
01:21:50,640 --> 01:21:52,240
Speaker 1: don't really hear a lot of people talking about when

1736
01:21:52,280 --> 01:21:53,480
Speaker 1: it comes to neuroscience.

1737
01:21:53,479 --> 01:21:54,320
Speaker 3: And that's huge.

1738
01:21:54,360 --> 01:21:56,640
Speaker 2: I've never heard that before. Yeah, that's awesome. And what

1739
01:21:56,680 --> 01:21:57,800
Speaker 2: are the other ways of toning it?

1740
01:21:57,840 --> 01:22:02,160
Speaker 1: So you've got humming, Yeah, humming ground exercise? Does it

1741
01:22:02,320 --> 01:22:06,200
Speaker 1: actually really cool? Gratitude practice tones of vegas nerves. But yeah,

1742
01:22:06,240 --> 01:22:07,920
Speaker 1: and so, and there are a lot of ways like

1743
01:22:09,160 --> 01:22:12,960
Speaker 1: to tone it, but exercise grounding, humming. There's actually like

1744
01:22:13,520 --> 01:22:16,759
Speaker 1: I had this device, which I mean they're available everywhere,

1745
01:22:16,800 --> 01:22:19,920
Speaker 1: but they like vibrate and through bone conduction actually can

1746
01:22:19,920 --> 01:22:22,280
Speaker 1: tone the vegas nerve as well. So there's a bunch

1747
01:22:22,280 --> 01:22:23,400
Speaker 1: of different ways to do it.

1748
01:22:23,520 --> 01:22:26,080
Speaker 3: But yeah, I love that. That was great. I'm glad

1749
01:22:26,120 --> 01:22:26,360
Speaker 3: to ask.

1750
01:22:26,479 --> 01:22:29,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't I've never heard that. Fifth and final

1751
01:22:29,800 --> 01:22:32,360
Speaker 2: question we asked this to every guest who's ever been

1752
01:22:32,400 --> 01:22:35,120
Speaker 2: on the show. If you could create one law that

1753
01:22:35,160 --> 01:22:37,519
Speaker 2: everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be.

1754
01:22:39,240 --> 01:22:44,280
Speaker 1: I would say, I would want people to learn about

1755
01:22:44,320 --> 01:22:48,639
Speaker 1: the power of their minds. Yeah, growing up, I had

1756
01:22:48,720 --> 01:22:53,639
Speaker 1: so many labels and all these different like diagnosis put

1757
01:22:53,640 --> 01:22:57,920
Speaker 1: onto me, and I thought I was just stuck that way,

1758
01:22:58,160 --> 01:22:59,600
Speaker 1: and I thought that's just who I was and what

1759
01:22:59,640 --> 01:23:01,080
Speaker 1: I had to deal with for the rest of my life.

1760
01:23:01,360 --> 01:23:03,800
Speaker 1: And I had no idea that, oh, hey, like, through

1761
01:23:03,840 --> 01:23:07,639
Speaker 1: the power of neuroplasticity and epigenetics and all these different practices,

1762
01:23:07,680 --> 01:23:10,680
Speaker 1: I can not only rewire my brain, but change the

1763
01:23:10,720 --> 01:23:13,040
Speaker 1: way that I think and feel and behave and also

1764
01:23:13,120 --> 01:23:16,040
Speaker 1: change my physical health through all of that. So yeah,

1765
01:23:16,080 --> 01:23:17,800
Speaker 1: I would say that my law would be that people

1766
01:23:17,880 --> 01:23:21,240
Speaker 1: need to learn about how powerful their mind is.

1767
01:23:21,240 --> 01:23:23,320
Speaker 3: Is that what made you want to study in neuroscience?

1768
01:23:23,800 --> 01:23:27,360
Speaker 1: No, I actually found neuroscience on accident. So I was

1769
01:23:27,439 --> 01:23:29,720
Speaker 1: again just kind of following the rules that everybody had

1770
01:23:29,720 --> 01:23:31,559
Speaker 1: set out for me. I was smart and good at science,

1771
01:23:32,160 --> 01:23:33,559
Speaker 1: and so I just was like, okay, I should become

1772
01:23:33,560 --> 01:23:36,439
Speaker 1: a doctor then. And my major was actually biology. I

1773
01:23:36,479 --> 01:23:38,400
Speaker 1: hated it. I did not like learning about the crab

1774
01:23:38,439 --> 01:23:41,880
Speaker 1: cycle or photosynthesis or any of it. And so I

1775
01:23:41,880 --> 01:23:43,240
Speaker 1: actually went up to one of my friends and I

1776
01:23:43,240 --> 01:23:44,960
Speaker 1: asked him, I said, I hate biology. What should I

1777
01:23:44,960 --> 01:23:46,719
Speaker 1: switch my major to? And he was like, you should

1778
01:23:46,720 --> 01:23:48,479
Speaker 1: switch it to neuroscience. I had never even heard of

1779
01:23:48,479 --> 01:23:51,519
Speaker 1: neuroscience at the time, but it sounded cool, and so

1780
01:23:51,600 --> 01:23:53,640
Speaker 1: I switched my major. First exam I ever took, I

1781
01:23:53,640 --> 01:23:55,280
Speaker 1: got a one hundred, and my professor reached out to

1782
01:23:55,360 --> 01:23:57,240
Speaker 1: me and he was like, congratulations, you can have done better.

1783
01:23:57,280 --> 01:23:58,880
Speaker 1: And I responded back to his email and I was like,

1784
01:23:58,920 --> 01:24:00,960
Speaker 1: this is so cool to be in the research love.

1785
01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:05,439
Speaker 1: So I started doing research and neuroscience immediately, very early

1786
01:24:05,479 --> 01:24:08,720
Speaker 1: on and that's where I started to really fall in

1787
01:24:08,760 --> 01:24:11,880
Speaker 1: love with neuroscience and just learning about how cool the

1788
01:24:11,920 --> 01:24:13,639
Speaker 1: brain is, because the brain is super cool, but also

1789
01:24:13,680 --> 01:24:15,400
Speaker 1: all the different things that we can do with it.

1790
01:24:15,479 --> 01:24:18,200
Speaker 1: And then I was taking a class in undergrad about

1791
01:24:18,240 --> 01:24:22,080
Speaker 1: the neurobiology of drug addiction and why current treatments don't work,

1792
01:24:22,680 --> 01:24:24,679
Speaker 1: and it was like, they don't work because we don't

1793
01:24:24,720 --> 01:24:27,040
Speaker 1: actually know the problem and we're just throwing band aids

1794
01:24:27,040 --> 01:24:29,519
Speaker 1: on the symptoms. And that was something I really resonated

1795
01:24:29,560 --> 01:24:31,800
Speaker 1: with kind of growing up. That happened to me a lot,

1796
01:24:32,760 --> 01:24:34,280
Speaker 1: and so I was like, that's what I'm gonna do.

1797
01:24:34,280 --> 01:24:36,400
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go and I'm gonna cure drug addiction. And

1798
01:24:36,479 --> 01:24:39,559
Speaker 1: so I actually I actually ended up doing the exact

1799
01:24:39,560 --> 01:24:41,840
Speaker 1: research that I wanted to do. I was investigating new

1800
01:24:41,920 --> 01:24:46,040
Speaker 1: targets to treat relapse to drug addiction, like neuropharmacology and

1801
01:24:46,080 --> 01:24:47,880
Speaker 1: all that, and so that's what I went to do.

1802
01:24:47,920 --> 01:24:49,800
Speaker 1: And I like that you mentioned, you know, being open

1803
01:24:49,840 --> 01:24:52,759
Speaker 1: to other pathways and stuff, because yeah, whenever I decided

1804
01:24:52,760 --> 01:24:55,320
Speaker 1: obviously not to be a scientist in the lab all

1805
01:24:55,360 --> 01:24:58,200
Speaker 1: the time anymore, I kind of didn't really know what

1806
01:24:58,240 --> 01:25:00,000
Speaker 1: was going to happen with that dream. But actually someone

1807
01:25:00,080 --> 01:25:02,400
Speaker 1: in Minecraft let me know that she's two months sober

1808
01:25:02,520 --> 01:25:05,640
Speaker 1: since joining, and for me, that made me. That was

1809
01:25:05,680 --> 01:25:08,240
Speaker 1: a full circle moment for me when I realized, oh, hey,

1810
01:25:08,280 --> 01:25:11,080
Speaker 1: like actually I still did the thing that I want

1811
01:25:11,120 --> 01:25:13,439
Speaker 1: set out to do, just in a different way than

1812
01:25:13,720 --> 01:25:15,120
Speaker 1: I thought I was going to be able to do it.

1813
01:25:15,400 --> 01:25:20,000
Speaker 1: So that's how I got into neuroscience. It wasn't on purpose,

1814
01:25:20,200 --> 01:25:21,120
Speaker 1: it was by accident.

1815
01:25:21,520 --> 01:25:23,160
Speaker 2: And what were some of the labels that you had

1816
01:25:23,160 --> 01:25:26,120
Speaker 2: when you were younger that you felt you wish you

1817
01:25:26,200 --> 01:25:28,759
Speaker 2: had this insight earlier on in life?

1818
01:25:29,160 --> 01:25:30,280
Speaker 3: What were those labels?

1819
01:25:30,680 --> 01:25:33,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, So growing up I actually dealt with a lot

1820
01:25:33,360 --> 01:25:35,280
Speaker 1: of physical and mental health issues. When I was eight

1821
01:25:35,360 --> 01:25:37,559
Speaker 1: years old, I was hospitalized with E coli and then

1822
01:25:37,560 --> 01:25:39,840
Speaker 1: from then on I really struggled with my health. I

1823
01:25:39,920 --> 01:25:42,320
Speaker 1: was in and out of doctor's offices all the time

1824
01:25:42,400 --> 01:25:44,000
Speaker 1: I was there. At one point in high school, I

1825
01:25:44,080 --> 01:25:46,439
Speaker 1: was going to like the emergency room. I remember having

1826
01:25:46,439 --> 01:25:48,280
Speaker 1: to leave a haircut halfway through because I had to

1827
01:25:48,280 --> 01:25:51,240
Speaker 1: go to the emergency room. So I had like like pcos,

1828
01:25:51,280 --> 01:25:54,599
Speaker 1: like hormonal imbalance, all the different kind of physical things.

1829
01:25:55,439 --> 01:26:00,559
Speaker 1: Then mentally, you know, like depression ADHD all the just

1830
01:26:01,840 --> 01:26:04,439
Speaker 1: one doctor labeled me as bipolar, like a lot of

1831
01:26:04,479 --> 01:26:07,559
Speaker 1: different things, and knowing now what I know, like I

1832
01:26:07,600 --> 01:26:10,000
Speaker 1: was a teenage girl, like going through a lot of

1833
01:26:10,000 --> 01:26:13,720
Speaker 1: hormonal changes and not being supported and so you know,

1834
01:26:13,920 --> 01:26:17,320
Speaker 1: and of course, like I think, especially with many other things,

1835
01:26:17,400 --> 01:26:20,960
Speaker 1: and I think especially with the ADHD component, but also now,

1836
01:26:21,000 --> 01:26:22,719
Speaker 1: like I was talking to my grandma on the phone

1837
01:26:22,760 --> 01:26:25,400
Speaker 1: recently and she had asked me, like, oh, how's your health?

1838
01:26:25,680 --> 01:26:27,680
Speaker 1: And I honestly hadn't thought about it in a long time.

1839
01:26:27,720 --> 01:26:30,360
Speaker 1: And that's when I realized, whoa Like, not only have

1840
01:26:30,439 --> 01:26:32,080
Speaker 1: I healed my mind, but I've really healed from the

1841
01:26:32,120 --> 01:26:34,640
Speaker 1: inside out. And I think for me, I thought that

1842
01:26:34,680 --> 01:26:36,360
Speaker 1: I was gonna have to be on all these medications

1843
01:26:36,360 --> 01:26:37,960
Speaker 1: the rest of my life. I thought I was gonna

1844
01:26:38,000 --> 01:26:40,240
Speaker 1: just like I really struggled with like and I think

1845
01:26:40,280 --> 01:26:42,439
Speaker 1: something with ADHD that a lot of people don't talk

1846
01:26:42,479 --> 01:26:46,680
Speaker 1: about is it's not just an ability to focus and

1847
01:26:46,800 --> 01:26:49,639
Speaker 1: being distracted. It's like, Okay, if you're bad at controlling

1848
01:26:49,640 --> 01:26:52,439
Speaker 1: your impulses, I personally also was bad at controlling my

1849
01:26:52,479 --> 01:26:55,120
Speaker 1: impulse of emotions, and so I was super emotional. This

1850
01:26:55,240 --> 01:26:57,320
Speaker 1: is a whole bunch of things. And so I think

1851
01:26:57,320 --> 01:27:00,519
Speaker 1: for me, I wish that I someone was like, hey,

1852
01:27:00,960 --> 01:27:03,880
Speaker 1: you can actually start to train your brain to be

1853
01:27:03,960 --> 01:27:08,519
Speaker 1: better at focusing and being less impulsive. Like for me,

1854
01:27:08,520 --> 01:27:12,160
Speaker 1: meditation gave me superpowers, and I mean that in every

1855
01:27:12,560 --> 01:27:14,760
Speaker 1: aspect of it, like also like of course with the

1856
01:27:14,760 --> 01:27:19,040
Speaker 1: brain and focusing and training my ability to focus and

1857
01:27:19,080 --> 01:27:20,760
Speaker 1: all of that, but also to be able to tap

1858
01:27:20,760 --> 01:27:22,880
Speaker 1: into my intuition and to be able to tap into

1859
01:27:23,960 --> 01:27:26,600
Speaker 1: all that is and all that and just get downloads

1860
01:27:26,600 --> 01:27:30,639
Speaker 1: and answers and all of that. So I think, yeah,

1861
01:27:30,720 --> 01:27:33,000
Speaker 1: I wish that when it comes to all, Like to

1862
01:27:33,080 --> 01:27:35,400
Speaker 1: answer your question of what labels, there are so many,

1863
01:27:36,160 --> 01:27:37,800
Speaker 1: and I just wish that somebody would have come and

1864
01:27:37,840 --> 01:27:41,360
Speaker 1: told me, hey, you can change. You do have the

1865
01:27:41,400 --> 01:27:43,400
Speaker 1: power to change, because I thought I was stuck like

1866
01:27:43,439 --> 01:27:45,280
Speaker 1: that and I thought that there was something wrong with me.

1867
01:27:46,000 --> 01:27:48,760
Speaker 2: Well that's so powerful. I love hearing that because I think,

1868
01:27:48,880 --> 01:27:51,840
Speaker 2: right now, that's exactly what every young person's being told.

1869
01:27:52,560 --> 01:27:57,680
Speaker 2: And we hear those diagnosis and they're useful, but then

1870
01:27:57,720 --> 01:27:59,680
Speaker 2: we end up creating a story around them as well.

1871
01:28:00,080 --> 01:28:02,599
Speaker 2: Can achieve who we can be, how much we can

1872
01:28:02,640 --> 01:28:06,400
Speaker 2: focus what's possible for us, and your living proof that

1873
01:28:06,600 --> 01:28:09,280
Speaker 2: you can go on to not only heal from the

1874
01:28:09,600 --> 01:28:12,360
Speaker 2: inside out, but to actually go and have goals and

1875
01:28:12,400 --> 01:28:15,400
Speaker 2: targets and win and achieve and build a healthy life,

1876
01:28:15,400 --> 01:28:17,840
Speaker 2: which I think is so inspiring for so many disease

1877
01:28:17,920 --> 01:28:18,479
Speaker 2: So that's awesome.

1878
01:28:18,520 --> 01:28:20,920
Speaker 3: Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, of course I love that.

1879
01:28:21,040 --> 01:28:23,639
Speaker 2: Well, everyone's been listening and watching. Make sure you go

1880
01:28:24,040 --> 01:28:27,080
Speaker 2: and tag me and Emily with all the incredible insights

1881
01:28:27,080 --> 01:28:29,439
Speaker 2: that she shared. Any advice that stood out to you,

1882
01:28:29,840 --> 01:28:32,080
Speaker 2: Anything you're going to try out, anything you're going to

1883
01:28:32,160 --> 01:28:34,680
Speaker 2: journal about, Go and follow em on the brain on

1884
01:28:34,720 --> 01:28:37,840
Speaker 2: Instagram if you don't already, and across social media, and

1885
01:28:37,920 --> 01:28:41,440
Speaker 2: you can follow mindcraft as well, which is Emily's community platform.

1886
01:28:41,920 --> 01:28:44,320
Speaker 2: Check that out as well, Emily. Anything else anywhere else

1887
01:28:44,360 --> 01:28:47,040
Speaker 2: you'd like people to discover you, follow you, find you?

1888
01:28:47,200 --> 01:28:50,120
Speaker 1: Oh no, those are the main those are the main accounts.

1889
01:28:50,120 --> 01:28:51,280
Speaker 1: So thank you for sharing that.

1890
01:28:51,320 --> 01:28:53,800
Speaker 2: Of course, of course, and I'm sure we get to

1891
01:28:54,080 --> 01:28:57,280
Speaker 2: welcome Emily back when her book's ready. She's already an author.

1892
01:28:59,120 --> 01:29:02,360
Speaker 2: We have a back d Yeah, such a pleasure talking

1893
01:29:02,360 --> 01:29:04,519
Speaker 2: to Emily. I learned so much and thank you for

1894
01:29:04,560 --> 01:29:09,040
Speaker 2: being such an incredible instrument and vessel for neuroscience and

1895
01:29:09,320 --> 01:29:12,760
Speaker 2: spirituality and mindset. It's incredible what you're doing and I'm

1896
01:29:12,760 --> 01:29:14,320
Speaker 2: such a fan. So congratulations.

1897
01:29:14,360 --> 01:29:16,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been great. Thank you for having me. This

1898
01:29:16,120 --> 01:29:16,759
Speaker 1: has been awesome.

1899
01:29:16,960 --> 01:29:17,400
Speaker 3: Thanks for what.

1900
01:29:17,920 --> 01:29:20,920
Speaker 2: If you love this episode, you'll enjoy my interview with

1901
01:29:21,040 --> 01:29:24,240
Speaker 2: doctor Daniel Ahman on how to change your life by

1902
01:29:24,320 --> 01:29:25,200
Speaker 2: changing your brain.

1903
01:29:25,640 --> 01:29:30,600
Speaker 4: If we want a healthy mind, it actually starts with

1904
01:29:30,680 --> 01:29:33,840
Speaker 4: a healthy brain. You know. I've had the blessing or

1905
01:29:33,920 --> 01:29:38,400
Speaker 4: the curse to scam over a thousand convicted felons and

1906
01:29:38,520 --> 01:29:42,320
Speaker 4: over one hundred murderers, and their brains are very damaged.