WEBVTT - Second Date Update PODCAST: British Guy Gets Bangered and Mashed

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<v Speaker 1>Today's second Date Update powered by South hilm Off Rooking

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<v Speaker 1>Jewels Second Date. I'm actually very surprised that the guy

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<v Speaker 1>on the phone for a second Date update today isn't

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<v Speaker 1>getting a call back because he could be the worst

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<v Speaker 1>person on the planet, and no matter what, an American

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<v Speaker 1>girl will call him back. You know why, because he's

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<v Speaker 1>an Englishman. Yeah, yep, and so he could be a murderer,

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<v Speaker 1>and just like I don't care. The accent is so hot,

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<v Speaker 1>I have to go out with him again. His name

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<v Speaker 1>is James, James. How are you well? I'm good, mate,

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<v Speaker 1>how are you? I'm not too bad. Thank you very

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<v Speaker 1>much for emailing us and agreeing to do a second

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<v Speaker 1>date update. Absolutely, I'm glad you can help me out. Maybe, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>for sure. Like I said, I'm surprised that this girl

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<v Speaker 1>isn't calling you back. I'm guessing how long you've been

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<v Speaker 1>in this country, Um, a couple of years? Just two

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<v Speaker 1>enough years now, okay, And I'm guessing in your experience

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<v Speaker 1>it's probably pretty easy in the bars and the clubs

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<v Speaker 1>when you meet girls with that accent, isn't it. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>there's not been a problem so far. Yeah, I know,

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<v Speaker 1>I had an English guy hit on me once. He

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<v Speaker 1>was so ugly, and I was still flattered by it.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, she's very I did have to turn

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<v Speaker 1>them down because of that, but whatever. So you're not

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<v Speaker 1>getting a call back from a girl. Her name is Sarah. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's right, all right? And how did you meet her? Where?

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<v Speaker 1>She met through Tinder? Okay? Okay? And you know, I

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<v Speaker 1>mean it's just it's not something that we do very often,

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<v Speaker 1>although I do very often, but you know, I met

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<v Speaker 1>a through Tinder. We agree to meet up. So I

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<v Speaker 1>drove over to pick her up, and we went, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>downtown for a couple of drinks, said something to eight.

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<v Speaker 1>We spent a couple of hours together. It was good. No,

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<v Speaker 1>we had a really good time. She was really cool,

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<v Speaker 1>like really easy to hang out with. You know. Let

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<v Speaker 1>me ask you a question. For a guy like you

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<v Speaker 1>who has an accent that you know American women love,

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<v Speaker 1>is it annoying? Do they sit there and harp on

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<v Speaker 1>it the whole time? That's what I picture happening. It's like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, that has been the cay Us a couple

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<v Speaker 1>of times, you know, But like Sarah was just you know,

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<v Speaker 1>she didn't really even pay that much attend into it.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, it was kind of cool. And I do

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<v Speaker 1>feel like if you're a more well traveled person, you're

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<v Speaker 1>probably not going to care quite as much, right right, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>she seems really, you know, really really cool. I'm just

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<v Speaker 1>I'm I'm shocked. What did you like about her? So much?

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<v Speaker 1>Like I said, she was just really easy to hang

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<v Speaker 1>out with, you know, like you mentioned about other chicks

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<v Speaker 1>that like, you know, har up on the accent or

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<v Speaker 1>always talk about themselves or you know, always you know,

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<v Speaker 1>she was really easy to talk to. She listened to

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<v Speaker 1>what I had to say, so the stuff that she

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<v Speaker 1>had to say was really interesting. It was it was

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<v Speaker 1>like a quality date, you know, it was like we've

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<v Speaker 1>known each other a couple of months or something. Was

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<v Speaker 1>there like one moment during the date where like she's

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<v Speaker 1>definitely into me, definitely into me. Yeah, like the moment

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<v Speaker 1>where she showed how interested she was. I mean it

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<v Speaker 1>seemed like that from the very start, you know, So

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<v Speaker 1>why do you think she's not calling you back then?

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<v Speaker 1>I honestly don't know. The only thing this is kind

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<v Speaker 1>of sound stupid, but the only other thing that I

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<v Speaker 1>can think about is that I just bought a new car.

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<v Speaker 1>And my parallel parking skills are not really up to Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it took me, like it took me like five or

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<v Speaker 1>six time skates space and then, you know, like I

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<v Speaker 1>was freaking out about that. And then at some point

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<v Speaker 1>she even asked me, she was like, do you need

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<v Speaker 1>me to do that for you? Get out and help

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<v Speaker 1>you park the car? Your little Englishman, I was. I was.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, well embarrassed, and then uh, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I tried to explain about the other side of the

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<v Speaker 1>road is not doing blah blah. Anyway, I'll get out

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<v Speaker 1>of the car and then I'll walk into the restaurant

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<v Speaker 1>and I get to open the door for her to

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<v Speaker 1>get out. So okay, you know, if that's if that's

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<v Speaker 1>something to go by, then I don't know, that might

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<v Speaker 1>be that might be the only problem. That is a

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<v Speaker 1>terrible feeling when you're on a date and you're having

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<v Speaker 1>trouble parallel parking, because then you just start to get

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<v Speaker 1>hot under the collar and you're embarrassed and you're just

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<v Speaker 1>like awful, And it's always in front of a crowded

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<v Speaker 1>window of people too, so it's not just your date

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<v Speaker 1>watching you, but about two hundred other strangers, right so

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<v Speaker 1>the only thing that you can think of that might

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<v Speaker 1>have gone bad on your date is the fact that

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<v Speaker 1>you had trouble parallel parking and didn't open her door. Yep,

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<v Speaker 1>that seems silly though that was at the big How

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<v Speaker 1>did the end of the date go? It was good.

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<v Speaker 1>Everything was great, you know, really it was really great,

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<v Speaker 1>full of smiles, full of happiness. There wasn't one awkward

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<v Speaker 1>moment during the night when no one had anything to say,

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<v Speaker 1>or you know, did you guys kiss? Yeah? Yeah, you did. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>we'll kind of kissed though, like a real quick peck

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<v Speaker 1>on the lips or a full I mean, just a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit more than that. You know, it wasn't it

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't anything you know, hot and heavy, but you know

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<v Speaker 1>it was it was a good night kiss. And what

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<v Speaker 1>was the last thing that you guys said to each other.

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<v Speaker 1>I said, I'll be in touch and she said, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>that'd be great. Okay. And has she responded at all

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<v Speaker 1>to any of your text messages or not one? Nothing?

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<v Speaker 1>And how many times have you tried to reach her?

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<v Speaker 1>I've texted her like three or four times and called

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<v Speaker 1>her twice. And did you tell her like, oh that

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<v Speaker 1>kiss made my heart, skip a beat or anything like that. No, no,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't say anything like that. I mean I met

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<v Speaker 1>the girl and tinder you know, yea not exactly going

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<v Speaker 1>to be like I think you're the love of my life.

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<v Speaker 1>That all right, Well we'll play a song, comeback, call

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<v Speaker 1>her and get your Second Date Update. Okay, okay, sounds good. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>hang on brooking Jubil in the morning, sate, Hello, love,

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<v Speaker 1>and welcome back to today's royal edition of the Second

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<v Speaker 1>Date Update. I'd be your host, Jubil Flag, and today

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<v Speaker 1>we're talking to Sir James of Update. He went out

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<v Speaker 1>with a lovely young lass he met on tender, took

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<v Speaker 1>her out for drinks, hoping that later he'd be able

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<v Speaker 1>to show her his throbbery, but he was unsuccessful in

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<v Speaker 1>getting the knickers on the floor back at his flat.

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<v Speaker 1>So now he is on the phone wondering what went wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>And James, I never asked you what is your occupation?

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<v Speaker 1>I would assume Chimney sweep. I never Oh yeah, oh

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<v Speaker 1>yeah thanks for that. Yeah yeah yeah, I worked for

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<v Speaker 1>Mary Poppinson. Thank you. James is on the phone. James

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<v Speaker 1>is English, yes, so of course I have to mess

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<v Speaker 1>with him a little bit because it's weird to US

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<v Speaker 1>Americans when we hear an accent. Yeah, but he did

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<v Speaker 1>go out with a girl named Sarah, and Sarah isn't

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<v Speaker 1>calling him back, which is weird to me because I

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<v Speaker 1>would think any guy with an English accent or Australian

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<v Speaker 1>accent in America just kills it. Yeah accent and John

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<v Speaker 1>Vietnamese accent whatever, any sort of accent usually does very

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<v Speaker 1>well with the American women. But she's not calling him back.

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<v Speaker 1>He thinks the reason that he's not getting a call

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<v Speaker 1>back is because he had trouble parallel parking so much

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<v Speaker 1>to the point where she was like, hey, do you

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<v Speaker 1>want me to do it for you? And then he

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<v Speaker 1>didn't open her door. But that's the only thing you

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<v Speaker 1>can think of other than that they had a great time.

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<v Speaker 1>You were about to call her and find out if,

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<v Speaker 1>in fact, he did something wrong on the date, James,

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<v Speaker 1>you're ready to go? Oh yeah. Can I ask you

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<v Speaker 1>one question, James? You don't fall into the stereotype of

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<v Speaker 1>bad British teeth, do you? No, that's a myth. That's

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<v Speaker 1>the whole thing is we don't know walk around like

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<v Speaker 1>Austin Howard. You know, I went to London before, and

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<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't call it a myth, but I'm glad that

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<v Speaker 1>you're not there. No, absolutely not. Okay, all right, well

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a dollar phone number right now and get your

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<v Speaker 1>second date update. Okay, okay, sounds good. All right, here

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<v Speaker 1>we go. Hello. Oh can I speak to Sarah please?

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<v Speaker 1>This is she. Hey Sarah, how are you? This is

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<v Speaker 1>Jewil from brook and Jewil in the Morning. I'm good.

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<v Speaker 1>What's going on? I'm at work, I'm good. Just calling

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<v Speaker 1>to check in with some of our listeners. Do you

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<v Speaker 1>listen to the show? Yeah? No, I listen. I'm just

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<v Speaker 1>shocked you're calling me. It's kind of random. Any idea

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<v Speaker 1>why I might be calling you? Honestly? You know? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>the reason I'm calling you today is one of our

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<v Speaker 1>listeners sent us an email about you. Really okay. It's

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<v Speaker 1>somebody that you went on a date with recently. His

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<v Speaker 1>name is James. Oh god, okay, okay, and so it

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<v Speaker 1>sounds like you know James. He says that you guys

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<v Speaker 1>met on tender and went out for drinks and had

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<v Speaker 1>a fun time, but you haven't been answering any of

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<v Speaker 1>his phone calls or text messages. So he asked us

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<v Speaker 1>to get you on the phone and ask if he

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<v Speaker 1>did something wrong. Okay, Okay, look, I don't know if

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I need to do this on

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<v Speaker 1>the radio, Like I don't want to embarrass him. You

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to, Well, that's okay. He wants to be embarrassed.

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<v Speaker 1>He's the one that emailed us. I think he wouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>really appreciate me calling him out on it. Okay, but

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<v Speaker 1>he we listen, we talked to him, and he's prepared

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<v Speaker 1>to hear anything that you have to say. Is he

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<v Speaker 1>on the line right now if you're worried about embarrassing him,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean he's asking for it. Basically, he said he's

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<v Speaker 1>okay with that. And I have to know this explanation

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<v Speaker 1>because he sounds lovely with an accent. I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>why you would turn this dude down. Oh yeah, see,

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<v Speaker 1>that's exactly the problem. I just I don't buy it.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't you don't buy what. I don't buy his

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<v Speaker 1>whole I'm British thing. Do you think he's faking it?

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<v Speaker 1>I studied abroad, I lived in the UK for a

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<v Speaker 1>couple of years. I think he's faking being British because

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<v Speaker 1>it's something that works, and we met on Tinder if

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<v Speaker 1>you can be anybody on tender. It's true, though, why

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<v Speaker 1>do you think is like you think the whole accent

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<v Speaker 1>thing everything is just a lie? Absolutely was there like

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<v Speaker 1>a hint when he was talking. And you're like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean didn't you Guys you said you talked to him.

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<v Speaker 1>Didn't you hear it for yourself? It's pretty bad. I

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<v Speaker 1>thought it sounds it sounds like he's English to me.

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<v Speaker 1>Can I have a little Dicky birdner? Can I have

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<v Speaker 1>a word? Or what? Wait? Is that him? Yes, it is.

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<v Speaker 1>He's actually on the phone. You asked me a second ago,

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<v Speaker 1>and I didn't answer you on purpose because James is

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<v Speaker 1>on the other line listening. Oh my god, Hello, Sarah,

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<v Speaker 1>how's it going. Don't you're listening to that? Sarah? How

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<v Speaker 1>are you doing? It sounds legit to me, Sarah, it

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<v Speaker 1>is the I don't know what you want. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>I could show you my passport, I could, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>give you my national insurance number? You know, And I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. I don't know what else you want me

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<v Speaker 1>to you know what you need to see? Yeah, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>sure you could show me your fake green car and

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<v Speaker 1>your fake passport, you fake everything else because I've got

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<v Speaker 1>all the time in the world to sit around and

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<v Speaker 1>generate fake copies of documents so that I can meet

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<v Speaker 1>girls on tender you. I mean, come on, that's exactly

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<v Speaker 1>that stupid thing I've ever heard. What I think you're doing. No,

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<v Speaker 1>exactly what I think you're doing. Wow, paranoid much love? Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>way to be all patronizing. That's going to make me

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<v Speaker 1>want to go out in a second date with you.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, at this point, it's really you know, it's

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<v Speaker 1>it's I mean, it's not been here and all that,

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<v Speaker 1>and now is it. I mean, you think I'm a

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<v Speaker 1>complete fake, so I might as well just don't bost

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<v Speaker 1>to the wall, you know. Yeah, I don't think you're fake.

0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:55.319
<v Speaker 1>I know you're fake, and you're laying out pretty thick

0:10:55.320 --> 0:10:58.240
<v Speaker 1>with a whole parallel parking job. Oh I can't. I

0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:03.160
<v Speaker 1>can't pot because it's on the outside of the road.

0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:06.160
<v Speaker 1>Good accent, Sarah, that's a pretty good accent. You should

0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:10.160
<v Speaker 1>try faking it and meeting people on Tinder. Okay, just

0:11:10.760 --> 0:11:15.920
<v Speaker 1>give it up. Your accent is so fake. I don't

0:11:15.960 --> 0:11:17.920
<v Speaker 1>know what else to tell you. You know, I've got

0:11:17.960 --> 0:11:20.000
<v Speaker 1>nothing else to go with this is this is me.

0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:22.959
<v Speaker 1>You know, I'm a come mine. Just give it up, dude,

0:11:23.040 --> 0:11:25.240
<v Speaker 1>and you can have a really two perfect teeth for

0:11:25.360 --> 0:11:28.600
<v Speaker 1>somebody in the British anyway. I mean, and this is

0:11:28.720 --> 0:11:31.040
<v Speaker 1>this is crazy. I've never heard anything like, yeah, do

0:11:31.040 --> 0:11:32.920
<v Speaker 1>you need me to like call my parents in London

0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:34.400
<v Speaker 1>or something. You can have a little word with them.

0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:37.240
<v Speaker 1>They can tell you who I am. Oh sir, I mean,

0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:40.000
<v Speaker 1>I'll call international how we can scape if we want

0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:42.320
<v Speaker 1>you and they can get there a couple of cherryo

0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:48.480
<v Speaker 1>are you dating Jane? Lovely Jane SATs infide her over

0:11:48.559 --> 0:11:51.840
<v Speaker 1>for teas all right, See, now we're crossing the line.

0:11:51.960 --> 0:11:54.160
<v Speaker 1>This is outrageous, Sarah, Like, I don't know what the

0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:56.640
<v Speaker 1>is you want me to do, but I mean, this

0:11:56.800 --> 0:11:59.800
<v Speaker 1>is this is just bloody ridiculous, mate. You know any

0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:03.640
<v Speaker 1>and if anything you say, anything you say, I'll do

0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:08.240
<v Speaker 1>to prove to you. I don't I don't know how

0:12:08.400 --> 0:12:11.320
<v Speaker 1>to get you to prove that you're faking it. But

0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:17.880
<v Speaker 1>there's just it's just something slightly untrustworthy about you. Wow.

0:12:18.520 --> 0:12:20.959
<v Speaker 1>I just I don't know, mate, I don't know. I'm

0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:24.040
<v Speaker 1>at the end of my seven now, Sarah. I'm confused.

0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:27.480
<v Speaker 1>You liked him on the day, right, Well, I liked

0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:30.280
<v Speaker 1>him when I met a montender until then we met

0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:33.560
<v Speaker 1>in person and he started faking them British accent. I'll

0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:35.480
<v Speaker 1>get this, like, why would I fake a British accent?

0:12:35.520 --> 0:12:37.120
<v Speaker 1>You've already said that I'm a pretty good looking guy,

0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:38.800
<v Speaker 1>and I've got perfect teeth, and I've got, you know,

0:12:39.080 --> 0:12:41.520
<v Speaker 1>everything else, So I wouldn't really have a problem getting dates,

0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:45.520
<v Speaker 1>would I? You know? I mean, you're attractive enough on

0:12:45.600 --> 0:12:47.280
<v Speaker 1>your own. I don't feel like you have to lay

0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:49.880
<v Speaker 1>it on that thick like you do have nice teeth

0:12:49.920 --> 0:12:52.160
<v Speaker 1>and you are attractive, which is why you don't need

0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:54.480
<v Speaker 1>to fake the accent because you have some other stuff

0:12:54.480 --> 0:13:00.000
<v Speaker 1>going for you already. That's not are you talking about Sarah?

0:13:00.200 --> 0:13:02.880
<v Speaker 1>You would dialect coach now or something. I'm English, I'm

0:13:02.880 --> 0:13:06.720
<v Speaker 1>from London, Crystal Palace, s W sixteen. What else do

0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:11.840
<v Speaker 1>you need to know? James? It doesn't sound like Sarah

0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:15.800
<v Speaker 1>is gonna believe you no matter what. For for the record, James,

0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:19.200
<v Speaker 1>I believe you that you're British. Yeah, thank you? Okay,

0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:22.240
<v Speaker 1>what neighborhood are you from? I just said that Crystal

0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:30.760
<v Speaker 1>Palace sounds made up to me. Yeah, there's a football team.

0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:33.280
<v Speaker 1>There's a football team I lived. I lived right on

0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:42.640
<v Speaker 1>Church Road. Right, it would be called Church Road. Okay, Hey, Sarah,

0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:44.480
<v Speaker 1>I would love to ask you if he'll go out

0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:46.920
<v Speaker 1>on the second date with James. I don't think he

0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:49.040
<v Speaker 1>can drop the accent because I have a feeling that

0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:52.840
<v Speaker 1>it's real. Are you willing to go out with him again? Sarah?

0:13:52.880 --> 0:13:59.360
<v Speaker 1>Do it? Don't sabotage this? Yeah, nope, what I no? No,

0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:02.280
<v Speaker 1>I can't. I'm not going to waste my time with

0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:05.040
<v Speaker 1>somebody who wants to be a charlatan and line to

0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:07.800
<v Speaker 1>my face and I don't need that. I don't know

0:14:07.840 --> 0:14:11.040
<v Speaker 1>how he's convinced you guys, but he certainly hasn't open

0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:13.280
<v Speaker 1>to me. And I wasn't born yesterday. I'm not going

0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:20.960
<v Speaker 1>to waste my time having a laugh. Sorry, James, No

0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:23.880
<v Speaker 1>second date for you, man. I just I don't know

0:14:23.920 --> 0:14:25.400
<v Speaker 1>what the sight is there. I don't know what to say.

0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:28.080
<v Speaker 1>You know, you missed out loud, you missed out? That's

0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:29.880
<v Speaker 1>all right, same. I'm sure there are plenty of other

0:14:29.920 --> 0:14:31.880
<v Speaker 1>girls on tenning that they have to drop the nickets

0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:41.200
<v Speaker 1>for you any time. Wow, let's go Wow. Well, thanks,

0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:43.720
<v Speaker 1>a lot for your time, both of you. We appreciate it.

0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:47.280
<v Speaker 1>Sarah better, better luck contender, finding like a real American

0:14:47.320 --> 0:14:51.280
<v Speaker 1>guy who's not faking it like James is. I'm not

0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:56.760
<v Speaker 1>fighting this thing. Oh hy you listen up right, listen.

0:14:57.680 --> 0:15:00.440
<v Speaker 1>I'll send you just for giggles, I'll send you everything.

0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:03.560
<v Speaker 1>I'll send you everything, my passport, my Green cards, I'll

0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:05.960
<v Speaker 1>send you everything, just so you know, you know I mean,

0:15:06.000 --> 0:15:07.600
<v Speaker 1>I'll show you the tattoo of a Union Jack on

0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:13.080
<v Speaker 1>the end of my I hope you actually have that

0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:16.960
<v Speaker 1>broken jubel in the morning.