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Speaker 1: Second date updated. You ever have a date with someone

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Speaker 1: where you plan to do one thing together, but then

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Speaker 1: the date night gets closer and suddenly you decide, eh,

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Speaker 1: you know what, forget dinner, let's do paintball instead.

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Speaker 2: You get a little.

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Speaker 1: Closer and plans change again, and then your plans change

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Speaker 1: another time. I keep changing. Some people could see that

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Speaker 1: and think, oh, this person is spontaneous and creative.

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Speaker 3: Or just indecisive.

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Speaker 1: Others might see it as chaotic and indecisive. Today, our listener,

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Speaker 1: James isn't sure where he falls because he says his

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Speaker 1: plans kept changing, so didn't go out on two dates,

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Speaker 1: didn't go out on one? He calls it one date

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Speaker 1: and a half.

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Speaker 3: That's interesting.

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Speaker 1: Let's learn about it. James, Welcome to the show.

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Speaker 4: Hey, thank you guys so much.

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Speaker 2: You get it.

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Speaker 5: There's a couple indecisive people, including myself on this show.

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Speaker 3: So I don't understand you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, are you indecisive? Do you keep changing plans or

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Speaker 1: just the world keep changing your plans?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 4: I mean you know life is life and.

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Speaker 1: You know life and put that on a bumper. Yeah yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: but life was coming at you and you had to

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Speaker 1: switch things.

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Speaker 4: Up, right, Yeah? I mean because after our first date, man,

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Speaker 4: she texts me and says, she had a great time.

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Speaker 1: You want to do it again?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 3: Wait? Who is she? We don't know who she is.

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Speaker 4: Okay, her name is Lisa and absolutely gorgeous. She could

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Speaker 4: be Zoli's on Donna's older sister.

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Speaker 1: Who Yeah, wow, I don't know who that is, but

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Speaker 1: the name is the blue girl from Avatar. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I can't really see what she looks like in that

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Speaker 3: anything like that.

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Speaker 4: Then, I mean, not fat, but she's beautiful.

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Speaker 5: Okay, that's awesome, that's exciting.

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Speaker 3: Where did you meet her? Did you say, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 4: But we met on a dating app?

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Speaker 3: Okay?

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Speaker 4: And so yeah, we have say interests and stuff like that.

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Speaker 4: I have, like my own company, I have to travel

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Speaker 4: a lot, and I know with her with her job,

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Speaker 4: she has to travel.

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Speaker 5: So okay, that's always nice to find somebody who understands that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, business right, right.

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Speaker 4: But I mean, like for three weeks, you know, we

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Speaker 4: were just can we meet here? And she's like, oh no,

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Speaker 4: my schedule. I got to go out of town. Okay,

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Speaker 4: all right, first week out of town. Then the following

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Speaker 4: week I had to go out of town. So one

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Speaker 4: day I said well, hey, well what about here, Let's

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Speaker 4: meet at this place? She said, well, you know, my

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Speaker 4: girls were going to brunch a day. I said, well, hey,

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Speaker 4: after your brunch, let's just hang out and just have

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Speaker 4: some drinks or something more.

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Speaker 5: Drinks, because brunch doesn't come without drinks.

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Speaker 1: The fact that anybody could walk away from a brunch

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Speaker 1: is that's just impressive in itself, right right.

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Speaker 4: And I mean if we didn't go there, I mean,

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Speaker 4: if it was a nice little place that was next door,

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Speaker 4: that we could have had our privacy.

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Speaker 5: Okay, well that's nice too, because like you're trying to

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Speaker 5: accommodate her busy schedule.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sure she appreciated that.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So how did she respond to that idea?

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Speaker 4: Well, see, that's what I'm gonna say, man. Her response

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Speaker 4: was like, never mind, Like what wait?

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Speaker 3: And this is after you'd already gone on one good date.

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Speaker 4: Right, We did on one date, and I was trying

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Speaker 4: to get a half date by going like after brunch.

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Speaker 4: But again, I know three weeks had passed. I know,

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Speaker 4: things happen and you get back into your routine. So

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Speaker 4: I'm like, yo, at least let me see you or something.

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Speaker 4: You know, let's let's just drive by each other and

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Speaker 4: wave by. But I'm like, what happened?

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Speaker 3: That is weird?

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Speaker 4: Or maybe she does know like me and my friends

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Speaker 4: get drinks, I don't want to meet up with you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, planning stuff back to back can feel so overwhelmed.

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Speaker 1: Yeah totally.

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Speaker 3: Did she plan anything else with you after that?

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Speaker 4: She said never mind? And I mean even she could

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Speaker 4: have said we could we meet before the.

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Speaker 3: Brunch so early I let's get a great pair.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So before we keep going, let's just rewind back for

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Speaker 1: a second here, James, can we know a little bit

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Speaker 1: about date number one?

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Speaker 3: That's a good point, Like where did you guys go?

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Speaker 1: What was so great about it? Just give us a

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Speaker 1: few details so that we know what it was like.

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Speaker 4: So we went to this Italian restaurant, real nice during

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Speaker 4: happy hour and had a great time salad, you know,

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Speaker 4: pops and were trying to watch those carbs and stuff.

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Speaker 3: But salad time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, as much as much dressing as you.

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Speaker 4: Want, exactly exactly.

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Speaker 5: I never understand why people who were worried about carbs

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Speaker 5: go to an Italian restaurant.

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Speaker 1: That's all it is.

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Speaker 3: That's all right. I mean, how was the conversation, the

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Speaker 3: connection between you two.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean it was good. We had great conversation,

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Speaker 4: we found out we liked certain things, you know, our

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Speaker 4: spirit animal. I don't want to go into too much detail,

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Speaker 4: but okay, hey, I forgot to say, and she we

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Speaker 4: did have a kiss.

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Speaker 3: You did?

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Speaker 2: Okay, there was a kid's right, you know.

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Speaker 4: At the end of the day. Nothing to elaborate, but

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Speaker 4: just nice kiss is like cool. And then I get

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Speaker 4: this text. She enjoyed it, she had a great time,

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Speaker 4: and she said, let's do this again.

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Speaker 5: So there was like no doubt in your mind that

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Speaker 5: this was going somewhere exactly.

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Speaker 4: I think, like the scheduling thing, I understood, but I

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Speaker 4: don't I don't understand like why this was like never mind.

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Speaker 1: And so there hasn't been there's never been a second

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Speaker 1: meet up that's materialized out of all this.

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Speaker 4: Correct. I would like for it, But nah.

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Speaker 3: Why'd we say there was one and a half then

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Speaker 3: there was only one?

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Speaker 5: I guess the brunch it didn't happen.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it didn't.

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Speaker 1: Well, it did happen with her and her girlfriends. He

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Speaker 1: just wasn't there.

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Speaker 3: That doesn't count for in a guy's world.

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Speaker 5: That counts desperate man.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's where we're at Terrible four Days last week.

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Speaker 1: They all said no, but in my mind we were parties.

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Speaker 1: So James, we're going to reach out to Lisa for you.

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Speaker 1: We'll see if she picks up, and then we'll try

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Speaker 1: and get you your second date update right after this

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Speaker 1: hold on date Second date update. If you're just joining

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Speaker 1: us for the second date update, our listener, James has

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Speaker 1: spent the last three weeks arranging and rearranging plans, desperately

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Speaker 1: trying to meet up with a woman named Lisa, who

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Speaker 1: he already went out with once and Brooks yawning about the.

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Speaker 3: Three cap that coffee.

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Speaker 1: First date it was it was yes, according.

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Speaker 3: To her on that stuff, nobody would have known.

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Speaker 1: I'm just looking around the room now sixteen other people

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Speaker 1: just yawned into I'm just saying, according to James and

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Speaker 1: to Lisa, because she responded afterwards that it was great.

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Speaker 1: They had a good kiss, a top notch Caesar salad,

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Speaker 1: everything you could ever want in a romantic first meet up.

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Speaker 1: And now, after all that effort, the last thing that

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Speaker 1: Lisa texted him was never mind. It's one of the

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Speaker 1: top three worst things a woman can send to a guy.

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Speaker 1: But James, we're gonna try and help you get this

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Speaker 1: thing back on track.

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Speaker 4: All right, it sounds great.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I feel like I only say never mind

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Speaker 3: when I'm mad.

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Speaker 1: That's the thing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it feels like a mad response for sure. Did

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Speaker 3: have a period at the end of never mind.

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Speaker 1: It's like end of conversation? Was it never mine?

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Speaker 2: All right?

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Speaker 1: Well, now I don't even know if she'll pick up,

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Speaker 1: but seriously, let's see if she answers. I'm gonna dial

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Speaker 1: her number right now. Hopefully we can get some answers

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Speaker 1: out of her. But here we go. Hello, Hey, is

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Speaker 1: this Lisa. Yeah, we're We're a radio show called Brook

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Speaker 1: and Jeffrey in the Morning.

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Speaker 2: Good morning, Him asked, why are you calling me?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're doing this segment it's called second Date Update

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Speaker 1: where we try to help out listeners who've gone out

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Speaker 1: with somebody and they're having trouble arranging that second meetup.

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Speaker 1: We try and help facilitate it or figure out if

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Speaker 1: there's a reason why the other person doesn't want to

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Speaker 1: see them again. Yeah, and you can't say never mind participation?

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Speaker 2: Okay, and you're calling me.

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Speaker 1: Why because a little while ago, almost a month ago,

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Speaker 1: you went out with one of our listeners named long ago,

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Speaker 1: he said, three weeks ago with a guy named James.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not in contact with him.

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Speaker 1: Yeahs that we got that vibe.

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Speaker 3: It sounds like it things shifted, though.

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Speaker 5: Did it shift for you because at first he thought

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Speaker 5: you were liking him.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess.

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Speaker 1: I mean the thing that's confusing to him is that

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Speaker 1: after that first date, he said to you, guys even

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Speaker 1: texted each other about having a great time, and you

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Speaker 1: said you really wanted to meet up again?

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Speaker 3: Or we just pull in like a Lexus Wood and

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Speaker 3: just trying to be nice. Yeah, you know, I mean, honestly.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it.

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Speaker 5: But that was then Okay, so something is what happened?

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Speaker 2: Well, okay, so I text him and I did tell

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Speaker 2: him that I had a wonderful time and we were

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Speaker 2: trying to meet up to see each other.

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Speaker 3: Okay, And so at that point you're excited about him, right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean absolutely. But it went from let me

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Speaker 2: buy you dinner, and then it went to let's get drinks,

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Speaker 2: then let me buy you drinks after brunch with my friends.

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Speaker 2: And I'm the type of woman where if a guy

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Speaker 2: says he wants to buy me dinner. Then I'm going

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Speaker 2: to hold him to that. And you know, however, with James,

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Speaker 2: our potential meetups became progressively worse.

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Speaker 1: So you you felt like as the conversation went on,

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Speaker 1: he was willing to put less effort into meeting up

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Speaker 1: with you.

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Speaker 2: Listen, when a man says that he wants to buy

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Speaker 2: you dinner, then I expect him to buy me dinner

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Speaker 2: and not say, okay, let me buy your dinner and dinner.

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Speaker 2: Next thing is like, okay, you know what, you know what,

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Speaker 2: let me get you drinks. You know what, you know what,

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Speaker 2: Let's just meet up after you hang out with your

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Speaker 2: friends and we'll just spend a little ten minutes.

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Speaker 5: Okay, So it didn't make you feel special, But did

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Speaker 5: you have time to get dinner?

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Speaker 3: I thought you didn't have time.

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Speaker 1: Well, there were times that I.

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Speaker 2: Didn't have time, and there were times where he didn't

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Speaker 2: have time. But you make time, Okay, plan it out

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Speaker 2: and you make time. It's just not a drive by.

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Speaker 2: Oh let me just see you real quick and keep

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Speaker 2: going like I don't even know you like that.

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Speaker 5: It's weird because like I think he took it as

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Speaker 5: he was putting an extra effort to try.

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Speaker 3: To make him.

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Speaker 1: You, Yeah, like shift around you and I know that.

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Speaker 1: You know, making time is very important. He's made time

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Speaker 1: to be on the phone with you right now listening

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Speaker 1: on the other line waiting to talk to you.

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Speaker 3: Talk about effort.

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Speaker 2: You didn't tell me that he was going to be

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Speaker 2: in a phone Yeah, just.

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Speaker 1: Now, I think this is a misunderstanding. Honestly, James talk

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Speaker 1: to her.

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Speaker 4: Well, yeah, I mean, Lisa, I'm not treating you as

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Speaker 4: a drive by. I was trying to make time so

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Speaker 4: I can at least see you and so we can

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Speaker 4: have conversation. But that was the whole purpose of doing it,

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Speaker 4: so you can get to know me.

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Speaker 2: Jans, you text me, let me buy you dinner, and

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Speaker 2: having drinks after being with my girls is not buy

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Speaker 2: any dinner.

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Speaker 4: Well, I didn't realize I had to be a bread

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Speaker 4: basket in order to hang out with you.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I don't even know what that means either.

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Speaker 4: I don't mean if you go to a dinner, they

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Speaker 4: usually give you bread before you have your dinner.

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Speaker 3: To her, and I don't know that that's exactly what

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Speaker 3: she's saying there.

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Speaker 4: No, that's exactly what she's saying. Because if I'm giving

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Speaker 4: an effort to meet you and you said you want

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Speaker 4: to get dinner with it. There's two people at the

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Speaker 4: same time.

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Speaker 2: You know, God, wait, you suggest dinner after the brunch.

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Speaker 2: You could have said we would you can go to dinner.

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Speaker 1: After brunch bunch.

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Speaker 3: I can't eat that much.

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Speaker 2: I mean I get hurt, Like, not directly after, but

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Speaker 2: later on that same day. Clearly I had time to

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Speaker 2: go on a brunch. Then maybe later on that evening

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Speaker 2: I would have had.

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Speaker 1: Time for dinner.

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Speaker 2: But you didn't think about that?

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Speaker 4: Said maybe no neither neither did you think about that?

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Speaker 4: And I didn't know you love language with food like that?

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Speaker 4: How about that I didn't know.

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Speaker 2: You loved this time and consideration? Then either you don't know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think. I think, honestly everybody needs to just

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Speaker 1: relax just a little bit, because this just sounds like

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Speaker 1: a big communication misunderstanding. We're forgetting that they had a

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Speaker 1: great first date. They both admitted it. That's true that

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Speaker 1: the conversation was great and the chemistry was on and

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Speaker 1: the only problem that has come up is communicating how

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Speaker 1: and when to meet up the second time.

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Speaker 3: So James, I mean that would be like, do you

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Speaker 3: not want to meet her for dinner? Like isn't dinner this.

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Speaker 4: Point, I'd rather just send a door dash and she

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Speaker 4: can have a full course meal.

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Speaker 5: I think she just wants the energy, not someone to

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Speaker 5: pay for her dinner. She just wants the thoughtfulness, is

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Speaker 5: what it sounds like.

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Speaker 1: Exactly, Lisa, this was thoughtful. When we first talked to James,

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Speaker 1: he described you as Zoe Saldana's younger, hotter sister.

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Speaker 4: No, I actually said the older hot Well.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to protect you here, James, So maybe he

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Speaker 1: just go with what I said. He called me the

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Speaker 1: older but she's how did the couple in backfire?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I mean, how about this? How about this? Think of this, Lisa.

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Speaker 5: He went out of his way to get a radio

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Speaker 5: station to call you because he wanted to see you

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Speaker 5: that much.

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Speaker 3: That is effort.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like he had you called me to embarrass me. No,

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Speaker 2: it doesn't sound he was trying to flatter me.

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Speaker 1: No, it's the opposite. He wants to go out and

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Speaker 1: actually spend time at a dinner with you, a dinner

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Speaker 1: that we would pay for if you'll agree to meet

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Speaker 1: up with him again. Well that was at the start.

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Speaker 1: I don't know about to lead the last three weeks

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Speaker 1: from your mind and just remember after that first date

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Speaker 1: how good you felt about each other.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know now because I feel like he's

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Speaker 2: gonna like he might stand me up.

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Speaker 3: Why would he stand he.

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Speaker 4: Was create Okay, no, no, no, no, no, she's creating stuff now.

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Speaker 4: Now she's gone from a happy hour to a hostile hour,

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Speaker 4: which is gonna probably lead to a hot dinner.

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Speaker 5: Okay yeah, okay, So wait, does that mean that you're

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Speaker 5: not interested in a date?

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Speaker 2: He said, no, yeah, I'm not interested in going on

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Speaker 2: with that went back.

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Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, that's okay. The feeling is mutual.

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Speaker 1: Wow, okay, well this one doesn't work out.

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Speaker 3: They've shifted those shift Yah.

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Speaker 1: In Jesus words, life is like yeah, life life and

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Speaker 1: right now, am I right? James?

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Speaker 4: The thrill is gone.

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Speaker 1: But the second dates or second dating they really are,

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Speaker 1: sure Jeffrey in the morning, you know, by the end

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Speaker 1: of that call, I don't know if there was anything

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Speaker 1: that we could have said to save that situation. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they kind of took over. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I think dating is hard for both of them right now,

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Speaker 5: and they just took it out on each other. Like

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Speaker 5: I'm just saying about you know what I mean, Like

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Speaker 5: it's just like, ah, I hate it all.

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Speaker 3: They're both too busy to sleep deprived.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's like, well I want more than thirty minutes,

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Speaker 1: I want a full dinner. Well I just want to

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Speaker 1: see you, right. But on a positive note, James did

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Speaker 1: give us three of our top quotes for the entire year.

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Speaker 1: Happy hour turned into hostile hour. Life keeps on Life

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Speaker 1: in and you want a bread basket with that wine

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Speaker 1: that I don't think I I kind of work shopped.

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Speaker 1: Its changed it a little.

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Speaker 2: Bit, but.

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Speaker 3: I mean I actually basket. I always want a bread basket.

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Speaker 3: So my first is always.

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Speaker 2: Going to be yes.

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Speaker 1: The whole thing was promises made, promises not kept.

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Speaker 4: Yes.

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Speaker 1: Goodness is we don't make any promises. When you go

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Speaker 1: listen to us on podcasts at Brook and Jeffrey just

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Speaker 1: life is life and all that. That's how we do.

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Speaker 1: Go check it out online wherever you get your podcasts

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Speaker 1: at Brook and

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Speaker 2: Jeffery Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning,