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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode. Oh Alchemy, this, I'm your host,

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Speaker 1: Kevin Pollock. Yes, that Kevin Pollock. What's that? Well, if

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Speaker 1: not for jet lag, I'd have no lag at all

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Speaker 1: to less than humble brag about now. But I digress.

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Speaker 1: Let's meet our alchemists, shall we know? Particularly, please say

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Speaker 1: hello to Chris Alvarado che Che. Do you still think

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Speaker 1: about that time we did that thing by the place? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was the first time I think I ever fully

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Speaker 1: love you. Well, yeah, so, thank you very much. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's the gift that keeps on giving. Yeah, popcorn, schmopcorn.

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Speaker 1: It's Vanessa Raglan Vaniche. Um. Do you still like to

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Speaker 1: get down or you prefer to boogie? Oh? Great question,

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for asking. I like both, you do. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's good to hear. Look out of the hood. It's

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Speaker 1: returning Alchemists favorite Mark Gagliardi. Hello, thanks for having me back,

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Speaker 1: Mr Gaggs. If you're nasty? Are you still mad at Joey? Um? Well,

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Speaker 1: there's uh, there's a wall between us now. Like Edgar

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Speaker 1: Allan post style, I'm slowly building it as this as

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Speaker 1: this day will progress. So if at any point you

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Speaker 1: can't hear him anymore. It's because I've walled him up. Sweet,

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Speaker 1: That is a correct answer to poetic and last, but

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Speaker 1: my porcupine, leave a needle in your paw if you

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Speaker 1: think at least it's Joey Greer freak boy? How many

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Speaker 1: pairs of pantaloons do you think I own? I just

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Speaker 1: want to go back to Mark and say that this

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Speaker 1: is an unending war. Okay, that's fun. Let a gauntlet

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Speaker 1: has been thrown. As always, a special thanks to our

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Speaker 1: patron v I P members. Those of you who would

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Speaker 1: like to find out more about these super fan group

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Speaker 1: and enjoy all the available content they're in go to

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Speaker 1: patreon dot com. Slash Alchemy. This almost all of our

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Speaker 1: scene suggestions we gather from our listener emails. If you'd

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Speaker 1: like to submit yours, please write to the podcast at

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Speaker 1: your name here, locking me this dot com. That's your

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Speaker 1: name here. Seen one comes from Austin, who wrote, greetings

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Speaker 1: from New Orleans, thank you so much for your amazing show.

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Speaker 1: I work overnight in a grocery store and Alchemy. This

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Speaker 1: is a welcome reprieve from the recycled nineties music that

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Speaker 1: perpetually plays in a loop on the overhead speakers. Wow,

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Speaker 1: I don't have too many problems with the nineties music.

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Speaker 1: Thankfully I'm typically alone, so there's no one around the witness,

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Speaker 1: the witness to be doubled over and crying with laughter.

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Speaker 1: I'd like to give propms to demand the myth the

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Speaker 1: heen James Heeney and alsould like to congratulate Vanessa on

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Speaker 1: her tiny human on her new tiny human um. Yes,

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Speaker 1: not sweet and slightly stocker ish. Okay, well it gets more,

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Speaker 1: it gets more stocky. Anyways, the newest addition to the

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Speaker 1: Raglan family inspiredment to think about the state of sex

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Speaker 1: and in our country, and how informed so many of

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Speaker 1: our citizens are. We take you now to us, She'll say,

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Speaker 1: We take it out of support group made up of

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Speaker 1: couples who are having issues conceiving, but only because they

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Speaker 1: have no idea how to make the sex and have

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Speaker 1: all been told different stories about how babies are actually conceived.

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Speaker 1: Thanks again, Austin Malone. If everyone could just sit in,

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Speaker 1: I don't know why we got to be here, I

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Speaker 1: know what I'm doing it and that would be great. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: please have some coffee and grab a donut if you

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Speaker 1: like coffee. Really what you need right now? It's a donut,

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Speaker 1: free donut. Everything is free grabbing a donut? Everything? Can

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Speaker 1: we pay if we want to? You can. I don't

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Speaker 1: like to make a donation. And there's a little this

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Speaker 1: is free. It's not everyone who wants to just take it.

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Speaker 1: We get started. I pretty much already know how to

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Speaker 1: do everything here. So thank you, thank you who would

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Speaker 1: like to start us off, I would thank you very much.

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Speaker 1: Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack or Jack? His name jack

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Speaker 1: Jack Jack Jack Jack, let's not sure for jack man,

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Speaker 1: and he's a big man. I'm gonna get right to it. O.

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Speaker 1: Something is not working, something's wrong with me. I know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it's her fault or not, but

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Speaker 1: the F word. Look, we there's one thing. There's two

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Speaker 1: things I know how to do. One is chop wood.

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Speaker 1: Two is make sex. Okay, now, let's I may stop

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Speaker 1: it from when you chop woods? Free for the coffee, honey,

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Speaker 1: will you come sitting next to me please? Or not?

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Speaker 1: I'm beginning to think this might be part of cups

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Speaker 1: are free? Really? How much are the cups? Five dollars? Well,

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Speaker 1: then I'm just gonna drink from the coffee. If you

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Speaker 1: don't mind, Jack, If Jack doesn't speaking, right now and

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Speaker 1: has the floor cup? Fella. So, Jack, when you're cutting

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Speaker 1: the wood using your whole body, okay, when you're making

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Speaker 1: the sex, what are we doing it? My honey, I

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Speaker 1: knew you would burn your mouth on that. Here here,

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Speaker 1: Mr Harpert, Mr Harpert, here's five dollars. Here's five dollars.

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Speaker 1: I'm getting you a cop. Do you want me to

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Speaker 1: put it's free? There's ice here, sir. If you want

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Speaker 1: to try an ice free have some ice cubes. Jack. Now,

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Speaker 1: when you're making the sex, are we using the whole body? Well,

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Speaker 1: I mean obviously not. I'm using the parts that are

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Speaker 1: important to sex making. I tell her this all the

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Speaker 1: time when when we're doing it, I'm over the moon.

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Speaker 1: Just for the record, I'm over I am it? Did

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Speaker 1: I am? She used to ask a lot of questions

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Speaker 1: like like I didn't know worked like that, or like

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Speaker 1: this is not what I've seen in the movies? Is

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Speaker 1: it in? But um, that's not a question. Can we

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Speaker 1: have a limited donuts or is it just one? Honey?

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Speaker 1: Will you please, for the love of God come sit

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Speaker 1: down next to me. You know what, here's five more dollars.

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Speaker 1: Just fill yourself up a cup with donuts. And come

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Speaker 1: sit down. That's a cup for you. I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: get that guy. I'm not gonna pay. What's your name, sir,

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Speaker 1: it's my name. That's what I'm asking. Hanner, Hannah. I'm sorry, Hanner, Hanner.

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Speaker 1: Jack calmed down, Hanner. He wasn't looking at me. Check

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Speaker 1: you're looking at my lady. Hey, do not talk to

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Speaker 1: my husband like that. You are gorgeous, ma'am. Oh, thank you, Jack,

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Speaker 1: So are you? Baby? Look? Jack and I met in

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Speaker 1: the same youth group, and I just want to say,

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Speaker 1: you know, under Jesus, watchful I and I am so satisfied.

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Speaker 1: And I know I'm broken and Jack's not, and um,

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Speaker 1: I know those things to look all right, I'll just

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Speaker 1: know we're talking. I'm gonna show you. I'm gonna show

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Speaker 1: you here. So what I do. So what I do

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Speaker 1: is I put my hand in her mouth and then

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Speaker 1: I whispered, and then I whispered in her ear keep

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Speaker 1: watching for this. And then I say, um, I am

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Speaker 1: the moon in the sky. I am the moon in

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Speaker 1: your sky, stars that were there, and then wham bam,

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Speaker 1: thank you ma'am. She feels good. All right, there you go.

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Speaker 1: I got a question if you don't mind. Yes, then

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Speaker 1: is this guy? Well, how you doing? My name is Clarish.

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Speaker 1: I've been in just should you? Mitt Hanner? Well I've

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Speaker 1: I've kind of just met all of y'all in passing

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Speaker 1: at the moment, but I have t Yeah, so, um

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Speaker 1: is this Mrs Clarsh. I prefer to not be married. Actually,

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Speaker 1: as do I. We kind of gotta marry. Just out

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Speaker 1: in the Jenna clarsh No, oh you reminded me of someone. Sorry, No,

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Speaker 1: I'm just Clark. Is it clarsh Gable? Look? You know,

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Speaker 1: if I can give little to no information my personal

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Speaker 1: background not be good. I mean being here, we're clar Okay,

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Speaker 1: maybe you've heard our music. Wait a second, you're the band.

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Speaker 1: You do not want to give out any person information.

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Speaker 1: But here's our CD all this is just covered in

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Speaker 1: personal information on the back. That's Those are the song titles.

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Speaker 1: The title seems really can bring your attention to song

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Speaker 1: title number three. Yeah, okay, social security yea seven nine

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Speaker 1: two oh four three three three three and then song

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Speaker 1: title number four maybe speaking to another problem an issue

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Speaker 1: two of you. Oh that's the home address? No, you

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Speaker 1: just point that's the number four. Yeah, that's not the

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Speaker 1: fourth track they're not. They're an intuitively numbered tracks. Oh

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Speaker 1: I see the numbers don't match the order. Yeah, come on,

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Speaker 1: they don't. I mean the way we have it down. Look,

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Speaker 1: our problem is why are you here? I love average

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Speaker 1: sexually animals. Okay, alright, I'm as other two is the thing.

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Speaker 1: But the trucks written right here on the back of

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Speaker 1: the CD consensual. Oh totally, totally. We're trying to have hybrid, yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 1: we're kind of having the creatures, yet we want to

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Speaker 1: have a common era. I don't. Chimera is what it

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Speaker 1: looks on Well, it's pronounced chimera, but people will know it. Boy, chimera.

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Speaker 1: It is a half horse, half you know, gator if

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Speaker 1: you right down, looks like chimmera the straw spring or no, Kenny,

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Speaker 1: come sit down. I just want to know. I don't.

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Speaker 1: I just want to say that I don't think people

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Speaker 1: are supposed to have sex with animals. Well, that's the

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Speaker 1: next they're not. There are laws regulating that sort of thing.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out how having sex with an

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Speaker 1: animal would make a half horse half gator. Well that's

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Speaker 1: what we're trying to thank you for a very different reasons.

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Speaker 1: I've never even I've tried to have. Okay, so there

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Speaker 1: was just going on new and carrom to. I don't

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Speaker 1: like this story. I'm no baby, but form as well

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Speaker 1: be on this with people. I can't remember. I can't

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Speaker 1: right now, I can't now corses coming, Okay, go for it,

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Speaker 1: go for it? Wait all right? Stopping the wait? What

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Speaker 1: hold on? Okay, it was a quick that was a

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Speaker 1: graphic description. Hold on a second video. Now this is again,

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Speaker 1: this is all three D rendering. But from the best

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Speaker 1: of her imagination, this is what happened. Right, So again, doc,

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Speaker 1: you're you're a doctor. Right, technically, I'm so sorry I

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Speaker 1: called you, Mr Harper, But I want to say I

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Speaker 1: don't know what's coming out of that goats coming out

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Speaker 1: of I'm gonna guess, well nothing, Wait, what's that? What

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Speaker 1: do you need that for? This is it? PP? I

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Speaker 1: thought it was a ghost. You thought the okay, come,

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Speaker 1: we gotta we gotta get this back on track. That

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Speaker 1: was discon I thought it was a ghost. Was there coming?

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Speaker 1: I didn't get no dope. Just what I'm confused about? Well,

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Speaker 1: I don't again, I thought it was I thought you'd

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Speaker 1: get breaking in by ghosts. Oh my God. That's Oh,

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Speaker 1: I think we've had a breakthrough. Not just put him

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Speaker 1: in your sucking pocket. You're gonna take it. If I

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Speaker 1: have to pay for you, They're not gonna have to.

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Speaker 1: May I help you with all of the questions. Everything's free.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to break it down. And that was

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Speaker 1: five dollars five now right, this has gotten out of control. Jack.

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Speaker 1: I'm the one here who is closest to God, obviously, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I have the answers. I'm only here because I need

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Speaker 1: to prove to my wife that she is wrong. Now.

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Speaker 1: Making sex is shoving my hand in her mouth and

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Speaker 1: whispering the eye in the moon and the stars. Is

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Speaker 1: that correct? I don't know what semen is. What that means?

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Speaker 1: You don't know at some point you need to put

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Speaker 1: your seed inside. My hand is in her mouth. Right,

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Speaker 1: I got that part, But but no, it needs to

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Speaker 1: be more involved in that. He means you need to

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Speaker 1: fuck her. Check for God's sake. You don't know what

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Speaker 1: God's sake is. I do know what God's sake. What

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Speaker 1: don't take? Don't you you're you're as I am the moon,

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Speaker 1: I am the stars. Okay, I just made sex with

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Speaker 1: two ladies. Making sex. Sex is making sex, and honey,

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Speaker 1: what you do is not making sex in any wonderful

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Speaker 1: traditional way either. What do you do? What is it?

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Speaker 1: That's wow? Okay, so that's what it is. Yes, Hannah,

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Speaker 1: show sit down, tell everybody what the problem is. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: show us tell everyone with the problem. You know what

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Speaker 1: the problem is, the problem is. I'm not into traditional

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Speaker 1: sex or experimental Hanna, why don't you join the group

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Speaker 1: instead of hand or get away from the food table

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Speaker 1: for God's sake? For course from course to ann Yes,

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Speaker 1: what what are you into? If you don't like traditional?

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Speaker 1: Can't be more clear? I'm not in traditional or experimental sex. Okay.

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Speaker 1: What I like is I like to lay there and

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Speaker 1: just if it happens, it happens. Hannahy don't you join

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Speaker 1: the group? I think i'm here. I think i'm here.

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Speaker 1: That guy's distant, you know, Yeah, you're telling me? Are

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Speaker 1: you all right? Yeah? Where the think? I brought some

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Speaker 1: fish in here and I don't know where the hell

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Speaker 1: they went? Okay, Um, I'm gonna we're gonna try a

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Speaker 1: little something. Now. It's magic. I think it might be

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Speaker 1: helpful for everyone. It's not magic, although it can be magical.

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Speaker 1: All right, all right, I did see a magician in

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Speaker 1: the hallway. Is he part of this hallway? Oh there's

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Speaker 1: another seminar down the hall yeah, ok yeah, purple soon.

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Speaker 1: Now my problem is I just don't know what's going

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Speaker 1: to come out of the hat, You know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: I like every time I reach my hand in there

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Speaker 1: and I'm scared. What if it's not a rabbit? What

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Speaker 1: if it's my dad? Okay, let's go, You're done. Out

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Speaker 1: of the hand. Yeah, And he's gonna yell at me

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Speaker 1: and tell me I can't be a magician. I know

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Speaker 1: that feeling. I cut volunteers and half constantly, as I've

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Speaker 1: also been cut in hair. Your wife has been cut.

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Speaker 1: She's not my wife, she is my lover. Okay, I've

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Speaker 1: cutting out of women's heads, just cutting you, he's cutting

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Speaker 1: other ones. I'm getting a sneaking suspicion that none of

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Speaker 1: you realize that magic is tricks, tricks, tricks. Well, then

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Speaker 1: we know who what his problem is? Am I? Right? Kay? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we know what the problems. You open a book, it

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Speaker 1: shows you that that is every child calls these magic

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Speaker 1: tricks that I don't look look in this book, do

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Speaker 1: you see look in this book here you will see

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Speaker 1: Do you see there's a fake way to cut a

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Speaker 1: woman in half? And when you when when you pull

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Speaker 1: something out of your head, it will never be your father.

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Speaker 1: But the look in this book? What what is this?

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Speaker 1: What are else? All right? So I guess it's time

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Speaker 1: for Hannah to show us how he does how he

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Speaker 1: does it? All right? Hold on one, saying before we

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Speaker 1: get to it, do I have to be the partner

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Speaker 1: in this one? Your wife? Do you mind if we

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Speaker 1: all just do like it's just a second to kind

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Speaker 1: of look in the corners for that fish you lost?

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Speaker 1: The fish he lost, I don't it's in the room.

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Speaker 1: I just don't know where it is. Kind of fish

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Speaker 1: did you bring in the room? Halibut? Hall a bit

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Speaker 1: about eight pound halibut that seems that could be difficult

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Speaker 1: to lose. That's what I'm saying. I don't know he went.

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Speaker 1: Are you sure you're gonna put that on? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying anybody stole it. I'm I think somebody

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Speaker 1: stole Clark. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying you

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Speaker 1: left it in the vehicle. You came here, we walked. Okay,

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Speaker 1: how did I find myself in this void turned out today.

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Speaker 1: Magic Now, why are you? Who are you making raspberries

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Speaker 1: at me? Halibut? You have entered god Safe safe. Oh,

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Speaker 1: this is God's safe. Inside God's safe are all his

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Speaker 1: treasured items. Oh, I see it, the holy grail. I

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Speaker 1: see this, Halibut and Magic one in the corner. I

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Speaker 1: only have three things things, Magic one. Can you help

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Speaker 1: me get out of this whatever you need? Right, I

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Speaker 1: just need to get back to my seminar. Collect your heels. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I can't believe they always do it. Very funny, very funny.

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Speaker 1: We all saw the movie. If you want to know,

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Speaker 1: have got a cent if you were, tell him your plans,

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Speaker 1: tell him my plans. I was running a simple magic seminar.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what happened. I was sucked into a

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Speaker 1: big book and now I'm down here with a fish

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Speaker 1: and I'm trying to leave this void and magically, I

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Speaker 1: just I guess metaphorically, I wanted to pull my father

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Speaker 1: out of that scene. What oh yeah, oh man, we

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Speaker 1: went to some places, we saw some things, but we

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Speaker 1: made it back. But we made it back scene too.

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Speaker 1: From Anonymous, who wrote, Hello alchemist, I've got a public

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Speaker 1: defender for a while now. I still can't believe the

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Speaker 1: level of stupidity among my clients, No wonder the anonymous

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Speaker 1: I've had clients continue to proclaim their innocence, even after

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Speaker 1: I tell them I saw the crime committed on surveillance

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Speaker 1: surveillance and heard them admit to it in a recorded interview.

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Speaker 1: Some people will even tell you they can't explain it,

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Speaker 1: but the audio and video are line. May I think

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Speaker 1: you should do a scene with a crime captured on

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Speaker 1: surveillance or cell phone, or go pro attached to a

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Speaker 1: goldfish whatever. Uh And then when they the face of

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Speaker 1: the overwhelming amount of evidence, they tell their attorney it

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Speaker 1: wasn't them. Can't use my name due to my profession,

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Speaker 1: I will go by the alias Clementine Marvel Waffle. That's

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Speaker 1: an Astagram share for all right, all right, we'll just

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Speaker 1: just but rewind the tape a little. You'll see, Okay, listen, Um,

300
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Speaker 1: we did see. We don't need to rewind it again.

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Speaker 1: We saw you smash the window, walk into the jewelry store,

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Speaker 1: grab all the gold, and then leave. Why just to gout?

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Speaker 1: Is what I want him? Know? What do you mean?

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Speaker 1: Why just go? Why did you take to go from

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Speaker 1: this place. There's a lot of range necklace. I didn't

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00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,120
Speaker 1: take anything from this place. Rewind the tape. Look you'll

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Speaker 1: see right there. Rewond hold, let me, let me go,

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Speaker 1: let me we don't we freeze frame where you look

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Speaker 1: right down the barrel of the land. Okay, flip it

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Speaker 1: off with your left finger. Okay, that is who's that?

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Speaker 1: That is? That's not me? Alright, that's not me. That

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Speaker 1: is an elderly woman. Should we call this person that

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00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:30,399
Speaker 1: looks exactly like you a doppelganger? Yeah, that elderly woman

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Speaker 1: is a double ganger for me. How often does a

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Speaker 1: doppelganger defense work? And your experience pretty often? Really, there

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Speaker 1: are dub I don't think people realize how many double

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Speaker 1: gangers there are in the world. How many do you have?

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Speaker 1: Do you think? I, well, there's how many billion? Look,

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Speaker 1: people say you're one in a million, right, there's six

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Speaker 1: billion people in the world, So I reckon I got

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Speaker 1: about six thousand dollars. Don't think anyone ever said to

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Speaker 1: you you're one of a million. I don't believe that. Well,

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Speaker 1: then you never read any of the birthday guards my

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Speaker 1: mom sent me. Let's get one out now, I got

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Speaker 1: it right here. Look at that card and says, son,

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Speaker 1: you're one in a million. Also, that's not you on

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Speaker 1: that video. Read it right there. It says it magic, magic,

328
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:18,159
Speaker 1: move around. I got his hair from the ground added

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Speaker 1: to the elixture. Go, you'll have a doppelgang or out

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Speaker 1: in the snow or world. Okay, let's see if this works. Okay, yes,

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Speaker 1: it's happening. It's happening. It's merchant. What am I? You're

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Speaker 1: an old woman? Alright, an old woman? All right, you

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Speaker 1: hear me? Okay, and you look like a million other people.

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Speaker 1: All right, do you understand that? Now? I need gold? Okay,

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00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:58,679
Speaker 1: clip to me gold just gold, watches just gold, just gold.

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00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 1: All right? All right, now here, take this track suit? Okay,

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00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:07,119
Speaker 1: very good? These ray bands nice? Actually, you know what,

338
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:11,359
Speaker 1: and let's do this. Let's take ok ok actually, new time.

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00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,320
Speaker 1: Let's do something else. Let's do let's do something. What

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00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,440
Speaker 1: do you what do you feeling? What do you feeling?

341
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,120
Speaker 1: What your vibe? What your blue? Blue? Blue? Okay blue? Okay?

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00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:24,120
Speaker 1: Do you want you're talking about? Just like a friend, Yes, yes,

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00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,879
Speaker 1: I can't hold it into my experiment worked. I'm making topplegangers.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna we're gonna make billions of dollars. Baby, I don't.

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Speaker 1: Did you quit your job a little? I'ming the magic well,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm resorting to it. Okay, I got married.

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Speaker 1: You said you gave up your warlock pe Okay, I know,

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00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 1: I know I said I did. But this is an

349
00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:46,240
Speaker 1: opportunity to maybe this an opportunity. It can open up

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Speaker 1: your just a regular guy. I am a regular guys.

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Speaker 1: Have this nig we have? You've agreed to read your

352
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Speaker 1: own vows? Yes? Uh? And do you want to begin?

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Speaker 1: Which one of you? I'd like him to begin, because

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00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:01,919
Speaker 1: the whole marriage is sort of contention on what he

355
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,920
Speaker 1: says at this part. If you know what I mean,

356
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Speaker 1: my sister, I know, Gino go ahead, please Marcia, so

357
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,320
Speaker 1: for that so good. From the first day I met you,

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Speaker 1: I knew that you were going to be the only

359
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:22,679
Speaker 1: woman in my life to keep you that man, I

360
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:26,840
Speaker 1: needed to put its, put something from my life down,

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Speaker 1: and that thing is my warlocking. That's right, Darryl, I

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00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 1: promise to not have any familiars. You'll describe your family

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Speaker 1: with these mouse I hate my in laws. I hate

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Speaker 1: my in laws. Don't fuck this up right now, I'm

365
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Speaker 1: trying to get married. I'm wearing a dress, Marsha, please

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00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:48,159
Speaker 1: to concurse your other family. Marsha. You want me to

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00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 1: funk up these warlocks for you? Yet you know don't

368
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,879
Speaker 1: do not? Please please continue to Can we wearing a

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Speaker 1: dress here? I got my chicks up to my chin?

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00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,960
Speaker 1: Can we please do that? I just want to piece

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Speaker 1: full ceremony. Please from everybody, please a peaceful ceremony. Let's

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Speaker 1: respect the wishes of the of the groom, shall we? Okay?

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00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,160
Speaker 1: Who made it? Who made this guy wear wolf? Who

374
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:14,119
Speaker 1: did that? That's what's meeting dogs in here? I have

375
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,800
Speaker 1: to pay pets it. Curse him, uncursed him? Please? It

376
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:19,920
Speaker 1: was someone from his side of the family. I swear

377
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,679
Speaker 1: to God, I believe you, Gino, because nobody in a

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00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:25,959
Speaker 1: family can turn people into wolves. Why the hell are

379
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 1: you having your wedding at midnight? Anyway? Was this his idea?

380
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,400
Speaker 1: It was his idea. We need the blood moon. It's

381
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 1: just to listen. We had to compromise. Okay. Look, I

382
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,400
Speaker 1: promised not to be a warlock or do anything like that,

383
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 1: or do anything like that, do anything like that, and

384
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 1: I want this to be romantic. Screen at your brother.

385
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 1: He's screaming at me. You know who's screaming at me?

386
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 1: You fucking warlock. Father is a literal witch. Okay, Darrel,

387
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 1: please you knew that before. Ma'am down? Please can you

388
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 1: please not be brewman around? She's actually right? Okay, okay,

389
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 1: I do, I do? Do you want to? All right?

390
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:07,960
Speaker 1: Listen up. It's been a tough day hear at the precinct,

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00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:12,439
Speaker 1: as you all know, detectives there. So in room A, sage,

392
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 1: what have we gotten? Roommate and room ay, we got

393
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:18,000
Speaker 1: somebody who's claiming I'll tell you right now, they're claiming

394
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 1: the doppleganger defense. So now I need all hands on

395
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:26,640
Speaker 1: room B. We got a real hands put your hands

396
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 1: on room beat all right, Tyler, Tyler, not literally, Tyler,

397
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,200
Speaker 1: you weren't so fucking handsome. I don't know, man, you

398
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 1: wouldn't be a cop. God rarely gives a dune. Tyler,

399
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 1: You're gorgeous. Dump me up and listen to the sarge. Yeah,

400
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 1: so you got dopplegating defense or out? You know what

401
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:46,880
Speaker 1: I mean? No, No, no, we're not actually um room

402
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 1: room B. We got a real motherfucking what's real sick?

403
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 1: Whose mother is fucking not? Not Tyler Tyler? This guy

404
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,440
Speaker 1: first of all, he's not a guy, he's a her.

405
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 1: She's a woman. Then why did you say, I just meant,

406
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:10,000
Speaker 1: I'm just you're confusing me, Tyler, my confusing. You said, okay,

407
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:14,160
Speaker 1: we have her on camera. What she'd do? What didn't

408
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 1: you want you go peek into the room? Yeah, happy,

409
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:22,639
Speaker 1: let's go peek in there. Oh baby, that was real. No, listen, Okay,

410
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:26,400
Speaker 1: as your lawyer, all I have a limited powers. All right. Literally,

411
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:28,119
Speaker 1: I'd love to be able to do anything. I'd love

412
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 1: to make people fly. I can't do that. I'm a lawyer. Question.

413
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 1: Did you say you have unlimited powers? I said limited?

414
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 1: Limited powers? Okay, limited, okay, Yeah, Look what I like

415
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:39,680
Speaker 1: to take water and make it into like, I don't know,

416
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 1: a solid brick of mud. Yeah, that'd be fun, would

417
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 1: be fun to me. I'm unlimited powers. The first thing

418
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:50,920
Speaker 1: you imagine just saying water does turn dirt into my

419
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 1: regular You need dirt. You can't just have a glass.

420
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 1: So right now, what we're what we're calling her is

421
00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 1: crowbar Carol because she just terrible. Is she a crowbar?

422
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,360
Speaker 1: She's not a crowbar? Tyler, No, No, but she does

423
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 1: crazy things with I mean she puts crow bars at

424
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:08,159
Speaker 1: the backup people's heads. She uses them to smash windows.

425
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 1: She's like a serial killer. I'd say, say, do we

426
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 1: got any evidence? Yeah, well let's go listen into the

427
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 1: lawyer situation. We got her on camera doing some horrific crimes.

428
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 1: That doesn't matter. Okay, because only the three wishes, what

429
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:27,440
Speaker 1: would they be, they'd obviously be the same wish. I

430
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 1: don't like my counsel. I don't like my counsel. I

431
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,760
Speaker 1: want new council. You want new council. No, I want

432
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:36,399
Speaker 1: someone that's not an idiot, that has limited power, limited powers,

433
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,360
Speaker 1: and you want to turn water to mud. I'm telling

434
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,159
Speaker 1: you as her most recent crime, let me guess, Let

435
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 1: me guess, Uh, Tyler, honestly got all you gotta do

436
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 1: is listen. That's it. You don't gotta talk ever. All right,

437
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 1: here we go. She went out on a date with

438
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,360
Speaker 1: with a real nice guy. Tyler, Why are you guessing

439
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 1: a real nice guy? Yeah? It turns out this guy

440
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:03,640
Speaker 1: isn't just any guy. He's the son of a trillionaire,

441
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,760
Speaker 1: no more, a trillionaire. How much is that? Yeah, it's

442
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 1: like gapple, it's a lot like Okay, my skin is

443
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,199
Speaker 1: made out of diamonds at this point. Okay, are you

444
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 1: even talking about I'm tony you exactly? How would listen? Okay,

445
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,639
Speaker 1: if I had the power crystal that I'm imagining in

446
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:22,159
Speaker 1: my head that I could have, you just you're not

447
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,120
Speaker 1: even a good communicator. How are you going to save

448
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,800
Speaker 1: my ass in court? Well? First off, this needs to change.

449
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 1: Our relationship needs to change. Our relationship does need to change.

450
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 1: It's actually you, Hi, welcome to the restaurant. Um, Yeah,

451
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 1: did you need a table? Did you have a reservation? Yeah?

452
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:44,360
Speaker 1: We we don't, but Andrew Jackson does. Oh my god,

453
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 1: that Mr Jackson's Mr Jackson. My god, your father is

454
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 1: Oh we know you are, Mr Jackson. Um, but here

455
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 1: you take this money back, Mr Jackson. Yeah, this guy

456
00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 1: owns all the shoe factors in the right this way right?

457
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 1: You had a feeling? Is that? Andrew? Hey? Can I

458
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,600
Speaker 1: get you? Want somebody drink and the start you off?

459
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:13,480
Speaker 1: Somebody pass? Well? Uh, that's PEPSI I like your star

460
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: lady ta meat, Yes, and shoes some shoes? Can you

461
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 1: get her some shoes? I don't have to point out

462
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 1: the chrome poking out of her restaurant. We will shoes.

463
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, you're telling me this is a lady

464
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:46,240
Speaker 1: that killed that bus boy. And Andrew's jackson saw the

465
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:50,960
Speaker 1: whole thing. Hold on, there are boys on busses forgot,

466
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:54,480
Speaker 1: what is happening? How long has this been going on?

467
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: Do do do do do do do do do do?

468
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 1: That's our Tyler. Welcome back to another episode of that

469
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 1: So Tyler Uh filming for a live studio audience in Burbank, California.

470
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 1: Right back to one's paintball. I'm not gonna go back

471
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 1: to one, okay, Tyler? Please, I'm gonna have a fucking cigarette. God,

472
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: I that's a fiver. I want to make it a

473
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: six taking six sex christ Man can't work? All right?

474
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 1: Can I talk to the writers for just a moment? Please? Yeah?

475
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 1: You can't even call use writers because he's not saying

476
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 1: a fucking word right now. Doesn't say anything. So who

477
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 1: knows how to get him to say the words you've written?

478
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 1: Don't know. We don't think he can read. Hey, I

479
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 1: don't want to. I don't want to, you know, I

480
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 1: don't want to throw anything out, too crazy? Throw it out, Timmy.

481
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 1: I do know a warlock that could make a stoppel ganger.

482
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 1: Keep talking. I know a warlock, he said, ganger at

483
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 1: Tyler married a friend of mine I went to college with. Yeah, yeah,

484
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 1: so Tyler's out. We used the doppel ganger like that

485
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:58,320
Speaker 1: movie Dave. As the movie Dave was underrated, but I

486
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:00,479
Speaker 1: loved it. Yeah right, you went to call I went

487
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 1: to college to Okay, terrific. Could you get us a sandwich?

488
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:11,959
Speaker 1: Let's get a sandwich, K yeah, Tommy, Jake Cops salad

489
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 1: Copshall to salad, cop salad. I want um blue cheese

490
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 1: on the side, of course, no egg, no egg, don't

491
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:26,880
Speaker 1: put no ranch and extra romaine et no no a

492
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:29,479
Speaker 1: cop salad or thank you very much. You're good. So

493
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 1: there's I'll just just some shoes for me, all right,

494
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 1: So how do we get to stop agang here? Honestly, guys,

495
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,479
Speaker 1: a warlock he's married to a friend of mine. How

496
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 1: quickly can we do it before the act? I mean,

497
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 1: I don't know how much awesome? What's Austin's seen you? Yeah? Yeah,

498
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:44,120
Speaker 1: it's a look. I just um, I didn't see you

499
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 1: at the wedding. Um. Yeah, well you imagine you're holding

500
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 1: this as a formal apology for not making the ceremony.

501
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 1: So I appreciate that. That's why I'm here. Yeah, so

502
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 1: this is my formal apology. I'm sorry it wasn't at

503
00:30:54,560 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 1: your wedding. Oh hey, hey, it's it's Austin Marcia in Hello.

504
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 1: How are you? We missed you at the wedding. I know,

505
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 1: I know, I'm listen. There was a warlot. Okay, you

506
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 1: know we're wolf my mother in law's brook. I get

507
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,320
Speaker 1: a drink, would you like some? Actually it's some water

508
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:20,040
Speaker 1: and turn out of a rush because we're just on

509
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 1: a six minute cigarette right now. But um, would you

510
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 1: mind making a doppelganger? Oh no, no, no, get a

511
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 1: awesome listen, buddy, I I can't do that right. Yeah,

512
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 1: but but you're winking though, Yeah, okay, I have something

513
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 1: in my eye. Hold on, okay, wait do you actually

514
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 1: do you actually have something in your eye? Eye? Jesus, look,

515
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 1: I want to wink at you, but I do have

516
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 1: something in my eye. Com okay, so so you are

517
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:56,640
Speaker 1: going to do the thing. Yeah, but I funk my eye.

518
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 1: What is in your eye? It is very red? Yeah, looking,

519
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 1: you know, we we just gotta I'm gonna do I'm

520
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 1: gonna do it. Just I'll send one over. Okay, but

521
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 1: I okay, great, okay, So here's the post and he

522
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 1: gave me, he said, just put this in whatever he's

523
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 1: drinking and uh and we'll be fine. On will that

524
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 1: kill Tyler? Or will that create a doppelganger that I

525
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know how, I don't know if

526
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 1: it's what's gonna like leap out of the cup? Right,

527
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 1: we're bad? Hey, college kid, get over here, Give this

528
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 1: to Tyler. Tell him it's vitamin B. Did you no, No,

529
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 1: we don't know. Would you do that? Tell me? Oh

530
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 1: my god? All right, everybody listen up. You thought Room

531
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:53,560
Speaker 1: B was bad, terrible bad? Well, you know Room B.

532
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 1: We thought it was about the crowbar killer, right, ended

533
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 1: up being that Tyler was at He was on a

534
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,200
Speaker 1: TV show the whole time time Get out of Here. Yeah,

535
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 1: the whole time, the whole time. That was an actor. Yeah,

536
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: he was an actor. That explains it all. So are

537
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:11,600
Speaker 1: you a Sergeant Hammer Hammer? Yes, sir, I just got

538
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 1: transferred to your precinct ship. You're huge. Yeah, formerly swat

539
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 1: Navy Seal and other crazy ship game. When we send

540
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,520
Speaker 1: him in the room, see, well, what's your name, sir?

541
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 1: My name America? Oh oh, Jesus Christ. Is that lead

542
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 1: me just blowing you while you walked in? I don't know. Yeah,

543
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 1: I just finished. Thank you for an opportunity. How are

544
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 1: you man? Okay, Jesus Christ? Wait? Is there another one

545
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 1: down there? I don't know? Excuse me? Sorry, hey, thanks,

546
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 1: that's a really great opportunity. You're welcome. Now listen to America.

547
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:48,160
Speaker 1: You've come to the craziest pre scenct in the fucking country. Okay,

548
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 1: room A nuts, room B nuts. But Room C is

549
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 1: unlike anything we've ever seen. We're sending you in there.

550
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 1: I've seen it all. We're really we're about to find

551
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 1: out what you say, America, go ahead and walk into

552
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:10,200
Speaker 1: rooms whenever you're ready. All right, here's room C. Come on,

553
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:23,360
Speaker 1: come on, come on. Well we lost him. What a

554
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 1: shame for scene too. We had him so close. He

555
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:29,319
Speaker 1: was right there at the precipice. America left room CE.

556
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 1: What's your name? America? Are you still very cohesive today? Really? Alright?

557
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:44,360
Speaker 1: S three comes from a Patreon V I p chance,

558
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 1: Well I couldn't. This is an amazingly chance chance at well.

559
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 1: That should be painted on a door him. Sorry, just

560
00:34:55,320 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 1: confidently saying I know I felt bad about myself. I

561
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 1: felt bad about myself. Yeah, we're gonna drive. We're gonna

562
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 1: drive right past it. I just couldn't pass up a

563
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,399
Speaker 1: sweet sweet v I p person shut up and take

564
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:12,239
Speaker 1: my five dollars. With Valentine's coming up, I thought this

565
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,719
Speaker 1: scene would be funny. A jaded person who can't seem

566
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 1: to get a Valentine date goes around and tries to

567
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,760
Speaker 1: buy all the candy and chocolate so no one else

568
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 1: can have any. Thank you to the original outcomis and

569
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 1: also the fantastic guests. What we have on today smooch

570
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 1: chance at well, so I gonna help you. Uh yeah,

571
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:32,880
Speaker 1: it doesn't really have anything in stock yet. Um or

572
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 1: the candies coming out? Or did you come to uh

573
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:40,320
Speaker 1: CVS looking to get your Valentine's on? Yeah? Yeah, the

574
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,840
Speaker 1: Valentine's is tomorrow and you thought, oh, I'm gonna go

575
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 1: down and get some chocolate. Yeah. Okay, So you're like

576
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:50,400
Speaker 1: the forty seven guy in the past fifteen minutes with

577
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: this move. Did you really think CVS was the answer?

578
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 1: What kind of relationship are you went, let's start there

579
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:59,800
Speaker 1: seven years seven with this person. He's still having sex.

580
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 1: That's not your business. Yeah, if you want truck, and

581
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:06,080
Speaker 1: it's my business. We're having traditional and experimental section. When

582
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:15,319
Speaker 1: you say experiment, yes, sir you sir? Hello, can you

583
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 1: come back to the chess? Okay? Is there someone else

584
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 1: who can help me? I don't know. I hi. Yeah,

585
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:23,799
Speaker 1: just looking at the candy section, handy sections, just a

586
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:27,239
Speaker 1: waste land. Yeah, doesn't seem to be anything. There's like

587
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:32,240
Speaker 1: what do they call him Western the ghost town candy

588
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 1: sections of empty back of Eminem's. Someone like the Eminem's

589
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:41,799
Speaker 1: out of the inside and they didn't need to wrapper, right,

590
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,719
Speaker 1: I just need to know where the candy is. Okay.

591
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 1: I gotta get some candy and bring it back to

592
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:49,720
Speaker 1: my partner. All right, candy partner? Were you a cop?

593
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 1: I'm not a cop. This is my lover, all right.

594
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:57,880
Speaker 1: I need candy. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day? Yeah, okay, all right,

595
00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:00,360
Speaker 1: we don't have any candy. But in the back, is

596
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:02,080
Speaker 1: there a box of candy in the back? I just

597
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 1: need candy. You want to go get in my car

598
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 1: with me? Yes? I do want to get in your

599
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,000
Speaker 1: You're gonna take me to another CVS has candy. Let's

600
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,319
Speaker 1: do that. Come get in my car with Okay, let's

601
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 1: go welcome to CVS. I'm a district to employee. Uh

602
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 1: do you have the card here? And I written a scan?

603
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 1: Okay here if I'm here? Hey, John, thanks for coming

604
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,439
Speaker 1: into my office. I really appreciate you. I'm taking time out.

605
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,080
Speaker 1: I just had a report from a couple of customers

606
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:35,399
Speaker 1: that you greeted them by saying welcome to CVS. Yeah,

607
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 1: who told you to do that? We're just cured CVS.

608
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 1: Did you take it upon yourself to greet people at

609
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 1: the CVS by by reminding them where they are? Well?

610
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 1: I just look at the Why would we look at

611
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:50,479
Speaker 1: the tape? Why would we? John? That looks like you John,

612
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,319
Speaker 1: stuck on the barrel of this gun while you watch

613
00:37:52,400 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 1: this video? Open Clark, Clark, come on, Jesus Christ. Uh,

614
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:03,640
Speaker 1: I think you need to finished second on that. Alright, alright,

615
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 1: can I just talk to you guys second? John, just

616
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,279
Speaker 1: give us a second. Uh. Do you want the gun

617
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 1: back or no? You just want to give him the gun?

618
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:11,840
Speaker 1: I want it back? Okay, John, Can we have the

619
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 1: gun back for just for a second? Yeah, there you go?

620
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 1: All right? What the hell is going on? Huh? What

621
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 1: do you mean we need to reprimand somebody put a

622
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:20,359
Speaker 1: barrel of a gun down the guy's throat and told

623
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:23,400
Speaker 1: himt suck it off. That's okay. So when did this

624
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:25,880
Speaker 1: policy change? Well, I don't know every since my fucking

625
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:27,719
Speaker 1: wife was yelling at me because they couldn't find any

626
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 1: chocolate sake Clark, Okay, we're all dealing with the same problem. Okay,

627
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:37,560
Speaker 1: where's the fucking chocolate weight? Can I go back out front? There?

628
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:45,680
Speaker 1: You got some questions? Welcome the cvs? How how could well? Why? Why? Well?

629
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:47,480
Speaker 1: I was at Walmart the other day. I saw them

630
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 1: do it. It It seemed like a nice how are you

631
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 1: at Walmart? On? Yeah? What are you doing a fucking Walmart?

632
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:54,239
Speaker 1: I went in because I needed to buy things that

633
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 1: we cvs. What did they have that you couldn't find here?

634
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:04,680
Speaker 1: A flat screen television at us there? I mean, look, hey, baby,

635
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:09,319
Speaker 1: good morning, Good Happy Valentine's Day. What is this? I

636
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 1: got you flowers? Oh, it doesn't make and I got

637
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:18,359
Speaker 1: you a little treat. It was chocolate. It's better be chocolate. Wow,

638
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:26,360
Speaker 1: it's sweet. I love chocolate and weep for my mommy

639
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 1: needs chocolate. When I got you strawberries with sugar on them.

640
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 1: Happy Valentine's Day, baby, but a kind of a ship joke?

641
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:45,000
Speaker 1: Is this what, Damien, where's the chocolate? What kind of

642
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 1: a joke is this? Jamian? I just thought because tell

643
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 1: me you're joking. I just well, this is the seventh

644
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 1: body we found. I don't know what's going on, but

645
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:59,480
Speaker 1: we've got a lot of Valentine's Day murderers. Just I

646
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,720
Speaker 1: don't know. You know, you wanted to say Valentine's Day man, No, no,

647
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:06,840
Speaker 1: anything we heard. I'm not gonna say. I'm gonna stop yourself.

648
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 1: It may not be, but you could say, because it

649
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:14,360
Speaker 1: seems like I'm going with Valentine's Day murderers. But that

650
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 1: doesn't even make sense because we don't know. If there's

651
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 1: a lot of murderers there, there's a saying, and I

652
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:23,279
Speaker 1: want the precinct to say it too. Okay, alright, top

653
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 1: down Valentine's Day murderers, that we're all we're all valent

654
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 1: to Valentine's Day massacre. If you, if anyone I find

655
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 1: your Valentine' Dy massacre, I want badges and guns. Now

656
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:35,480
Speaker 1: you know it's not the first time he did this.

657
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,800
Speaker 1: Remember he called that last thing the Zodiac Killer. And

658
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 1: we're like I said, Orion's belt. You said, Remember remember that,

659
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 1: remember when a son of Steve? Oh yeah, alright, now listen, listen. Okay,

660
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:53,520
Speaker 1: we've got a Valentine's Day murderer. I want to hear it.

661
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 1: I'm hear him. Here, hear it, Let me hear it.

662
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 1: Can I ask a question? Well, far yeah, as the

663
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 1: new guy at thet sing, what are you doing barking

664
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:04,000
Speaker 1: on all these orders as a new guy. I'm a captain. Okay, right,

665
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:09,720
Speaker 1: I'm the new captain. Okay, okay, yeah, already badges and guns.

666
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:12,839
Speaker 1: Already have a badge, and I'm gonna ask for your

667
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 1: badge and gun. That's what I'm taking. Can I do

668
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 1: air quotes? When I say it? You can do air quotes? Boss, Yeah,

669
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 1: it's it's been done. You now have all the chocolate

670
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:28,239
Speaker 1: in the city. It's been done. Um, the rest of

671
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 1: the boys and I was wondering if we can go

672
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 1: home now? Can you go home? Now? Can you go home? Now?

673
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,480
Speaker 1: Let me ask you one more question. Chocolate the only

674
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 1: thing people give their loved ones on Valentine's Day. I

675
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 1: don't know the answer to that, sir. The answer to

676
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 1: that is no, I need you to every flower shop

677
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:46,920
Speaker 1: in the city now, every flowers already, women every card shop,

678
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:50,439
Speaker 1: because if I can't have love on Valentine's Day, then

679
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:52,799
Speaker 1: no one can have love. You don't let me ask

680
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:56,640
Speaker 1: you have a border question? What let me ask you

681
00:41:56,719 --> 00:42:03,239
Speaker 1: border questions? Already ask you a question. He's so gross, boss,

682
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:06,719
Speaker 1: I know he's your father. He's disgusted. He has been

683
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:09,719
Speaker 1: He's been the patriarch of his family for a very

684
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 1: long time. Listen, I don't know if you're watching the

685
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 1: news or anything, but there are women. Are you the nurse?

686
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 1: Can you make that noise? Yeah? Okay, dad, I understood

687
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 1: the noise. Okay, listen, someone's gotta make that noise when

688
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:32,720
Speaker 1: the noise? Why? Okay, there, boss, there are women killing

689
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,879
Speaker 1: their husbands and boyfriends all over the city because there's

690
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 1: no chocolate. I don't know what would happen if we

691
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 1: got rid of all the flowers and cards. Well, look

692
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:45,759
Speaker 1: if I'll do it. Okay, boop, it's Valentine's Day. The

693
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,400
Speaker 1: woman in my life is gone, The other woman in

694
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:50,400
Speaker 1: my life is gone, and the third woman in my

695
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 1: life are gone. Yeah, but she doesn't count. That's not

696
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:59,360
Speaker 1: for Valentine's Day. That's more for like that's a good boy. Yeah,

697
00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:01,799
Speaker 1: I don't know what that last thing he said was.

698
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:08,919
Speaker 1: It's just it just seems like so uh six six years,

699
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:13,000
Speaker 1: that's long been lacious. Yeah, do you like to have

700
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 1: the windows rolled up? Hot? There's a there's a smell here. Oh.

701
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:19,520
Speaker 1: The smell is from all the things I keep in

702
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:24,799
Speaker 1: the different you know, compartments. All right. Uh, you know

703
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:31,479
Speaker 1: I used to keep hamsters alive, alive, alive, alive. Yeah,

704
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 1: we're almost there. I'm gonna get you so much chocolate.

705
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 1: I have a boyfriend, so I'm definitely not, you know,

706
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:47,239
Speaker 1: kidnapping you with the intent to make love. Okay, Oh,

707
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 1: it's so heats the heats broke. You might want to

708
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 1: take your pants off. Heats broke, I might want to

709
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 1: take your pants off. It's going to get really hot

710
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 1: in here. All right, pants off? What was No? No,

711
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 1: I'm not take my pants off because the heat is broken.

712
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:05,440
Speaker 1: All right, keep your keep your pants on. I'll keep

713
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:08,640
Speaker 1: my pants on. We're almost there. Great, we're almost there. Great.

714
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:12,760
Speaker 1: You know what I actually don't believe you? Shortcut? Shortcut

715
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:16,279
Speaker 1: through a dirt road. Yeah, okay, most shortcuts are through

716
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 1: dirt roads. Okay, fine, fine, did you see that sign?

717
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 1: We just passed, Yes, shooting stars in the area. No, no, No,

718
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:26,759
Speaker 1: another one I don't know. Bears are on foot. The

719
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 1: other one. Get your dick out. Last second, I didn't

720
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:34,160
Speaker 1: see a sign that said get it said under it

721
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 1: said this area is under video surveillance. Get your dick out.

722
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 1: This dirt road wants me to just pull my peep

723
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:47,000
Speaker 1: out because it's under surveillance. Did you see that shooting star?

724
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:50,520
Speaker 1: There's a science is what the shooting stars? Did you

725
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:55,399
Speaker 1: make a holy sh It's okay, okay, just reverse, just reverse,

726
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 1: just me at the same time. I wish i'm you.

727
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:01,759
Speaker 1: What you wish you're me, and I'll wish i'm you.

728
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:05,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wish with diamond. I'm gonna wish for diamond skin.

729
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 1: I wish the diamond skin. And Welcome back to Channel

730
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 1: four News Live updates today. What should have been a

731
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 1: lovely day known as Valentine's Day has that's right, Chad,

732
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 1: it's turned into a real Valentine's Day massacre. Hold on,

733
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:26,279
Speaker 1: hold on, hold on, hold on. I am the captain. Okay, no,

734
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:27,839
Speaker 1: we're not doing that all right now. I kept into

735
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:31,840
Speaker 1: the news. I'm kepting of the place. It's Valentine's Day.

736
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 1: I don't even have a brain. Who wrote that? He producer?

737
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 1: I need your gun in bad right now. I'm a producer.

738
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:39,839
Speaker 1: Don't have a gun in bad. Here's a gun and bad.

739
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:42,439
Speaker 1: You already have a gun in bad. I'm not taking mind,

740
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 1: I'm taking mirrors. Okay, you're not a cop anymore. I've

741
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 1: never been a cop. TV producer. You're fired. Now we're

742
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:51,120
Speaker 1: going live to the mayor, who is going to actually

743
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:56,200
Speaker 1: get rid of Valentine's Day as a holiday? Okay? Is

744
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 1: he all right? No? I'm not okay, no, no, no,

745
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,840
Speaker 1: no, no no, not from there. We're not cutting into the mayor.

746
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 1: Nobody's cutt into the mayor. I am not okay alright,

747
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:10,920
Speaker 1: because I am a bad partner, and I have one day,

748
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:13,480
Speaker 1: two days a year where I can make up for

749
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 1: that on my lover's birthday and non Valentine's Day. But

750
00:46:17,719 --> 00:46:26,880
Speaker 1: this day, never didn't find chocolate to CVS. Yeah, I

751
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 1: went to CVS lebra Oh yeah, no, no, no, the

752
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:32,239
Speaker 1: mob wiped out all the CVS as. You didn't hear this. No, yeah,

753
00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 1: there's no chocolate. A story on that, Yeah, you think

754
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:39,480
Speaker 1: that that would be I guess we'll cut to the mayor,

755
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:47,000
Speaker 1: then not take questions now. Question question, question, question, question, questions,

756
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 1: question question Tommy, why don't you ask a question? Tommy

757
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 1: Hamburg from Sanitisers all the way around dot com. We

758
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:56,680
Speaker 1: have a I have a question for you, Mr Mayor. Uh,

759
00:46:57,120 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 1: there's no more chocolate? But is there more a lot? Well? Yeah,

760
00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 1: we're not in question question question What are you guys? Yeah,

761
00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 1: I'm Leo from CVS. Guy put a gun in my

762
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:15,480
Speaker 1: mouth and my pregnant? Now, yes you questions question I

763
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:22,360
Speaker 1: was just gonna say I don't even like chocolate. Good thanks.

764
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:25,840
Speaker 1: Questions question news news what are you going? Hi? John

765
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 1: Bober from Upside Down World from is it true that

766
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:34,560
Speaker 1: you that love is no longer to be found in

767
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:37,839
Speaker 1: this city? Yes, that's also true. You'll have to go

768
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:41,440
Speaker 1: to a Slipperyville the next town over to find news.

769
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:46,440
Speaker 1: Questions question question ham tamper for a fish fish outlet?

770
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:50,080
Speaker 1: Uh and BP oil. I have a question. What is

771
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:57,399
Speaker 1: the difference between us? Yeah? Hey, welcome to Slipperyville. Here

772
00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:00,839
Speaker 1: you're looking for love? Yeah? Yeah, I don't know if

773
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:06,360
Speaker 1: you heard it. Oh my god, oh my god, people

774
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 1: really make love. Well here, hey guys, just grab another room. Wow,

775
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 1: that's irreplaceable. This is like a dream come true. Yeah, well,

776
00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:16,840
Speaker 1: welcome to Slipperyville. Am I? How do I become a resident?

777
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 1: I want to be a full time resident here. I'm

778
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 1: I'm in. Well, you have to improve that. You've got

779
00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 1: some sort of income. Do you have an income? I do? Yeah,

780
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:25,359
Speaker 1: I work at a news station. You working which news station? Yeah?

781
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 1: Channel four? Channel four, from the town over, the town over,

782
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:31,040
Speaker 1: But I'm wanting the town over where there is no love.

783
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:34,719
Speaker 1: Valentine's stay, no love, Valentine stay. You really think we

784
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:37,319
Speaker 1: want someone from no love town coming over to Slipperyville

785
00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:39,799
Speaker 1: and sir and slipping up our slip. Give me your gun,

786
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 1: Give me your gun in your bad give her your

787
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 1: gun in your badge. I'm just an anchor. Give me

788
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 1: your gun in your badge. You had a gun on

789
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 1: a badge. She means your penis. Give your penis? Ya,

790
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:54,480
Speaker 1: give it your Joey greer. Okay, you want to listen.

791
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,760
Speaker 1: I use my Joey Greer to do terrible things, such

792
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:01,919
Speaker 1: as slap people, sticking in things. Hang on a second,

793
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:06,960
Speaker 1: turn this old man off. Go on? So this is

794
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:09,279
Speaker 1: I just want to find love. I'm here for love. Yeah,

795
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 1: you're in slippery If that's what happens here, what do

796
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 1: you mean though you're from the wrong town, You're out

797
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:22,279
Speaker 1: of your jurisdiction and the Joey Grew thing is upsetting. Yeah,

798
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:24,399
Speaker 1: can you put it away? Please? Hey? How are you doing?

799
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 1: I'm sorry? Is there a line? Please? I'm dumbfounded. Hey

800
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 1: are you that guy from clarsh Yeah? Yeah, yeah, thanks.

801
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 1: It was you know, first time doing a little solo

802
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 1: peace And what happened to you? Well we we had

803
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:44,120
Speaker 1: an alligator flamingo child and it was dangerous to say

804
00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 1: the least. And uh, well she wanted to be with

805
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:48,680
Speaker 1: that over me, and she got exactly what she wanted,

806
00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:52,239
Speaker 1: a relationship. So long story short. Here I am Slipperville,

807
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 1: trying to find love again. Which part of the creature

808
00:49:54,719 --> 00:50:00,319
Speaker 1: was the flamingo? The top part, top part. It's a

809
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:02,440
Speaker 1: shame because usually flaming. Do you think the legs like

810
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:08,200
Speaker 1: you want them? You know? Or was it just the shape? No? No,

811
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 1: it was actually gry. I mean it only gets that

812
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,719
Speaker 1: color because of the krilla. So I'm just trying to

813
00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:14,879
Speaker 1: find up. Well, you know what, right this way, you're

814
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:17,080
Speaker 1: not You're not from from the next town over where

815
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 1: there's no love. Oh no not okay, we'll come right

816
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 1: up this way. The beds are replaceable. Just grab any

817
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:23,800
Speaker 1: room you like. They're just full of love. The beds

818
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:27,120
Speaker 1: are replaceable. Yeah, should I replace him now? I'll just

819
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:29,160
Speaker 1: replace one now. Then you don't have to. I'm just

820
00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:31,600
Speaker 1: saying if if anything happens and you have an extra

821
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 1: slipper bail you're looking for love, yeah, I'll get the

822
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:38,719
Speaker 1: number two and let me get an nice coffee as well. Okay, okay,

823
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 1: can you show us your joey career? Hold on? Say?

824
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 1: Are you asking me to expose myself in this little

825
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:46,239
Speaker 1: coffee dinner? You know? I am all right? Look, I

826
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:49,480
Speaker 1: just want that drink. Holy for give me one second?

827
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:56,080
Speaker 1: Excuse me? Do you remember me? Do you remember me? Huh? Yeah?

828
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:58,120
Speaker 1: You're trying to funk up my marriage once I do

829
00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 1: you understand? Yeah? Yeah. If that isn't C three, I

830
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 1: don't know what is. You know, let's thank all of

831
00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:17,600
Speaker 1: our alchemists and no particular order. Returning Champion Mark Gagliardi,

832
00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:24,799
Speaker 1: Are you going? You finished the season? Were plenty more

833
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:27,600
Speaker 1: to do? About to head off to Bangkok and Rome.

834
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:30,880
Speaker 1: It's a very exciting season to Blood and Treasure this

835
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 1: summer on CBS. Very very exciting, uh and continued success

836
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 1: with it. It's back in the summer, back in the summer.

837
00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:39,480
Speaker 1: We can't be more specific than that. Uh No, you

838
00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:41,919
Speaker 1: want to pick a month, I'm gonna say. I'm gonna

839
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:45,600
Speaker 1: say du lie July. Yeah sure, sure, Yeah, like you

840
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 1: said jews lie. But I'm sure you didn't Nope, not,

841
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:53,000
Speaker 1: I didn't pluralize it. Joey Grimm, Uh wow, what a

842
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:59,920
Speaker 1: what a slanderous episode for me? Check out you Jeffy Green,

843
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:06,919
Speaker 1: and then listen to good Night. Yeah, that's great, that's

844
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:11,839
Speaker 1: a rag lab. Go to dins entire writer dot com. Yeah,

845
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:16,640
Speaker 1: amazing shows. Yeah, it's never gonna stop. Now are you

846
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 1: putting the popcorn out there? Beyond the theater itself? We're

847
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:21,880
Speaker 1: trying to do. You feel like there's a little franchise.

848
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:27,800
Speaker 1: Very excited, is that right? Bus? Yes, I think it

849
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 1: just got put into the universe somebody corn distributor or

850
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 1: corn copywriter or with mons Santo. But one of the

851
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 1: good guys give me a call. There we have it

852
00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:42,600
Speaker 1: and Chris Alvarado, Yeah, not much going on, that's not true.

853
00:52:42,719 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 1: I work hard, I work hard. I'm out there hustling.

854
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:47,960
Speaker 1: Come see my shows mainly at the west Side Comedy

855
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:51,479
Speaker 1: Theater in Santa Monica, California. Uh follow me on Instagram world,

856
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:54,920
Speaker 1: I post at least once a month. That's right that

857
00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:01,680
Speaker 1: Chris al Verado man, how about you? What's your little stuff?

858
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 1: What's my deal? Kevin pollg one to three on the Instagram.

859
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:09,000
Speaker 1: Just Kevin Pollock on the Twitter. And we'll be announcing

860
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,920
Speaker 1: our next uh well, our live show first Sunday in March.

861
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:14,439
Speaker 1: I don't know if this comes out before that, so

862
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:17,920
Speaker 1: that if it did or don't you know, it's always

863
00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:19,920
Speaker 1: the first Sunday at west Side Comedy Theater for a

864
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:22,920
Speaker 1: live Alchemy This on stage eight o'clock. Please check that

865
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:24,880
Speaker 1: out off here in the Santa Monica area of the

866
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:29,319
Speaker 1: Lost Greater Los Angeles. UM and yeah like that, and

867
00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:35,560
Speaker 1: Chris our guest engineering for Doug Baine today. Let's and

868
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:40,799
Speaker 1: I heart media. Until next time. We'd love to hear

869
00:53:40,840 --> 00:53:42,200
Speaker 1: from you right too, us at your name here at

870
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:47,600
Speaker 1: Alchemy this dot com. We'll see you next time on

871
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:05,120
Speaker 1: h