WEBVTT - Couples Who Cruise Together 0:00:01.320 --> 0:00:04.960 Hey, viewers, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about 0:00:05.000 --> 0:00:09.280 queer sex. Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities. 0:00:09.560 --> 0:00:13.520 If hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:17.120 offends your sensibilities, you might want to skip this. Viewer 0:00:17.160 --> 0:00:21.840 discretion is advised. It's definitely not for kids. So game. 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:25.640 So, Chris, question for you, Oh uh, have you ever 0:00:25.640 --> 0:00:28.000 gotten cruising for a third with a boyfriend or a partner? 0:00:28.320 --> 0:00:30.600 So in college, my very first boyfriend, I opened up 0:00:30.600 --> 0:00:32.559 our relationship and it did not go well in our 0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:34.640 early twenties, I don't think we had the emotional maturity 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:37.720 to deal with that. My boyfriend now and I have 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:41.320 been dating for seven years and for the very first 0:00:41.400 --> 0:00:46.000 time I think we have as a pair started dating someone. Oh, 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:48.839 which is very funny. Yeah. So we're like together and 0:00:48.880 --> 0:00:52.159 we lived together and then we met this guy and 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:53.320 we thought it would sort of be like a one 0:00:53.360 --> 0:00:56.680 off hookup. We were really into each other, Okay, And 0:00:57.280 --> 0:00:58.640 you know, I think when we first opened up our 0:00:58.640 --> 0:01:00.840 relationship because we lived together, it was just very easy 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:03.480 for my boyfriend night hook cup of people together. But 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:06.880 we've kind of I think as we've learned to maneuver 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:10.960 that and started to trust each other more and understood 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:13.920 like how to grapple jealousy and transparency. We started hooking 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:16.480 up with people separately, and so with this guy that 0:01:16.480 --> 0:01:18.759 we're dating, I think this is somebody that we love 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:20.880 to see together. But like if I'm out of town 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:27.840 and my boyfriend and our boyfriend hang out, they can, 0:01:28.000 --> 0:01:30.200 and so it's like really nice. There's that comfort. I 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:32.080 think we're all kind of on the same page about stuff. 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:35.440 We hang out all the time. It's like very funny 0:01:35.440 --> 0:01:37.560 because I always cringe at the word throuple, but like 0:01:37.600 --> 0:01:39.920 somebody's like, are you' in a thrupple? And I was like, oh, 0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:44.559 I don't know. I think I am. I am in ale. Yeah. 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:46.120 So it's like I like to say that. It's like 0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:49.160 we're dating someone, right. We haven't like made it official 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:51.040 or anything concrete, but we see each other. 0:01:51.240 --> 0:01:52.160 When is that going to happen? 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:54.480 I don't know. I hate making things concrete. It feels 0:01:54.480 --> 0:01:56.440 so straight to be like what are we okay? But 0:01:56.600 --> 0:02:03.080 like okay, okay, but what are we no? But it works. 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:04.520 It's really nice. We've got a good flow, You've got 0:02:04.520 --> 0:02:06.360 a nice trust and I think we understand that there's 0:02:06.400 --> 0:02:08.760 like more of an emotional connection there. But we will 0:02:08.760 --> 0:02:10.639 also hook up with other people, so you know, we'll 0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:12.360 have our own moments. We'll have our moments together. But 0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:15.560 I think there's one person that we like cruised and 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:17.560 ended up becoming like very much a part of our lives. 0:02:17.800 --> 0:02:20.760 Just been fun all right. Well, as we have been 0:02:20.800 --> 0:02:24.399 talking about, some couples do practice strict monogamy, and some 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:26.840 couples do like to pick up tricks, attend sex parties 0:02:26.840 --> 0:02:29.880 and visit cruising spots together. Ain't love grand? 0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:32.360 In this episode, we'll talk to a married couple who 0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:34.840 cruise together and throw their own sex parties about how 0:02:34.880 --> 0:02:37.000 they make it work for them. Then Gabe and I 0:02:37.000 --> 0:02:39.520 are heading out to hear some cruising confessions both hot 0:02:39.560 --> 0:02:40.239 and horrific. 0:02:40.520 --> 0:02:43.480 Chris, I love it when we're cruising together. Welcome to 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:44.800 Stiffy's Cruising Confessions. 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:49.840 I am Gabelinzilers, I'm Chris Patterson Rosso. Each week weeks 0:02:49.840 --> 0:02:52.920 flore there sublind World of Queer Sex, Cruising and Relationship. 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:54.799 We'll be talking to queer folks of all kinds, ask 0:02:54.880 --> 0:02:58.639 them questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations. A lot 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:01.079 of us are discovering ourselves incrusing spaces. 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:03.280 This happened to me at this toilet stall, in the 0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:04.560 library or the airport. 0:03:04.639 --> 0:03:07.320 I feel like everybody's gonna fuck a little harder here. Damn. 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:09.720 So I've been like the neighborhood slot and I took 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:10.519 pride in that. 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:14.200 I was so afraid but yet so intrigued, and the 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:15.880 more I gave him, the more he could take. 0:03:17.400 --> 0:03:20.240 If you're having sex on Sniffy's, you already have a 0:03:20.280 --> 0:03:26.360 moral deficit. Our guests today are two of my best duties. 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:28.360 Leo and Jordan. They met it at sex party in 0:03:28.360 --> 0:03:31.440 twenty sixteen, have been together ever since. In twenty twenty 0:03:31.440 --> 0:03:33.560 two they got married, and today they throw the super 0:03:33.600 --> 0:03:36.160 hot New York based ex parties j xx L and 0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:38.760 Comfort Daddy, where you can find me working sometimes. 0:03:39.400 --> 0:03:44.440 Welcome Leo and Jordan. Well everyone, thank you. I wanted 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:46.520 to start at the beginning with your story. Chris said, 0:03:46.520 --> 0:03:48.440 you met at a sex party, and I wanted to 0:03:48.480 --> 0:03:50.040 know more about the meat cute story. 0:03:50.280 --> 0:03:54.720 I pursued Leo first, and it took a few times, 0:03:54.760 --> 0:03:57.800 but I had started working close check at this sex 0:03:57.840 --> 0:04:00.880 party that happens in Manhattan. I had seen him out 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:03.160 before as a shape shifter. I don't know if he 0:04:03.240 --> 0:04:04.840 knew it was me that was cruising him all this 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:06.720 time before at different events and whatnot. 0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:08.119 I saw Leo. 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:10.280 I came up to Leo and I said, hey, I 0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:14.520 think you're really cute. My advances were not received accepted. 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:19.240 Look at that little smile, You're like, Look, I was busy. 0:04:19.480 --> 0:04:22.320 Yeah, And then we came back to the July party, 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:26.040 and you know, I said, let's try it again, and 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:28.039 I got a no for a second time. 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:29.919 So then for the party in. 0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:32.000 August, I was doing close check and I said, we'll 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:34.880 do you know, to myself, We'll try it again. And 0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:37.279 with that I had said to Leo, this is the 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:39.919 third time I'm asking you out, and I won't do 0:04:39.960 --> 0:04:43.440 it again. I got the phone number. We kind of 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:46.520 log cabined it, you know, very quickly. Right after where 0:04:46.520 --> 0:04:50.279 I would stay the night, I would stay two nights. 0:04:50.880 --> 0:04:53.080 I would go back to get my long weekend of 0:04:53.279 --> 0:04:54.919 clothes out of my dresser where I was living in 0:04:54.920 --> 0:04:55.480 my apartment. 0:04:55.920 --> 0:04:58.760 Here we are today, Yeah, yeah, what's your experience of 0:04:59.200 --> 0:05:02.840 Oh yeah, that's what I I was like, version. 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:04.599 Of the truth. 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:08.920 It's true. He did ask me three times. I was 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:12.960 attending that party each month. I had previously dated someone 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:16.120 younger than me and that did not end well. 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:18.640 Oh okay, so now we're getting like the background, all 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:19.080 the content. 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:23.159 So my fear in trepidation sort of kept me from, 0:05:23.720 --> 0:05:26.840 you know, saying yeah, right, right now, let's go. So 0:05:26.960 --> 0:05:29.000 then we after my birthday, we went on an official 0:05:29.080 --> 0:05:33.640 date at this restaurant in our neighborhood, and I said, 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:35.479 before the date, I'm like, we will not be hooking 0:05:35.560 --> 0:05:39.280 up tonight. We've both seen each other in action, We've 0:05:39.279 --> 0:05:42.400 seen each other naked. We you know, we know a 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:47.000 couple of things about each other. And we had a 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:50.440 good dinner. The next day, we went on another date 0:05:50.600 --> 0:05:52.960 and he spent the night, and that's when we had sex. 0:05:53.000 --> 0:05:56.960 And then we capitulated that did meeting at a sex 0:05:57.000 --> 0:05:59.040 party make it easier for you to sort of approach 0:05:59.120 --> 0:06:00.839 this topic about anaship. 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:05.560 I can speak from previous relationships that that was always a. 0:06:05.760 --> 0:06:07.120 Huge tension point. 0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:12.600 And when I decided I was going to pursue a 0:06:12.680 --> 0:06:15.360 relationship with Jordan, I knew that that was something that 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:19.320 was definitely going to be needed to be worked out 0:06:19.880 --> 0:06:22.920 and very clear. I knew, because I am a man 0:06:22.960 --> 0:06:26.000 of a certain age and he was in his twenties, 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:29.200 that neither of us were to be tamed. 0:06:30.480 --> 0:06:32.800 And I also think. 0:06:32.560 --> 0:06:35.800 That when you're in, you know, in a relationship, you 0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:39.800 want the best for the person and abundance for the person. 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:42.680 The situation that we met in, we both know that 0:06:42.680 --> 0:06:46.800 we both have sexual appetite, so it was that we 0:06:46.800 --> 0:06:50.800 weren't going to deny each other that where you always 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:53.400 opened from the jump. Once we became we made it 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:56.919 official boyfriends. Then it was my idea that we actually 0:06:57.080 --> 0:07:03.520 start hosting our own, oh fun party, Yeah right, And 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:07.039 it started like who we would have in our own home, 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:08.040 in our apartment. 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:10.560 So I'm curious the first time you all hosted a 0:07:10.600 --> 0:07:14.960 party together that was a bit more explicitly sexual. What 0:07:15.200 --> 0:07:17.160 was sort of navigating that like for the very first 0:07:17.160 --> 0:07:18.840 time once you had officially started dating. 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:23.320 We invited a new friends. They were new friends to me, 0:07:23.960 --> 0:07:28.080 They were friends of Jordan's and I believe he said 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:32.120 out loud that he hadn't been with one of them sexually, 0:07:32.160 --> 0:07:34.720 but he was looking forward to it to it and 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:38.400 then you know, going through that process with him was 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:40.160 actually kind of nice to watch. 0:07:42.400 --> 0:07:43.600 Yeah, I've seen her inaction. 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:49.080 You know, she brought she brought the room together, and 0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:51.960 we need a unifier now more than we are here 0:07:52.040 --> 0:07:55.600 to foster relationships. Is it easier to kind of avoid 0:07:55.960 --> 0:07:57.880 the pitfalls of jealousy when you know the other person 0:07:57.920 --> 0:07:59.960 that you're hooking up with is also partnered. 0:07:59.640 --> 0:08:03.080 There's a level of comfort, But cruising other couples there's 0:08:03.120 --> 0:08:18.680 not necessarily a free radical and they're hungry. We both 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:23.760 demand a level of respect from our suitors. You know, 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:27.040 somebody's going to be into one more than the other. 0:08:27.160 --> 0:08:30.160 That's just kind of that's natural, right, you know, if 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:32.199 you're not so into the other one, you have to at. 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:33.680 Least be nice and respectable. 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:36.920 When we sense that that's not the case, it's they 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:38.720 you know, they get checked off the list. 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:40.480 To nip that ship in the butt right away, because 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:42.800 it only then like it's a death. It either is 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:44.800 a death by a thousand paper cuts or like you know, 0:08:44.840 --> 0:08:47.240 a cat bite where it festers under the skin kind 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:47.560 of thing. 0:08:48.240 --> 0:08:53.160 We both had previous dalliances that we were still friendly 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:57.480 with after we made our book. You know, we became official, 0:08:57.720 --> 0:09:01.080 right and they either kind of got on board with 0:09:01.120 --> 0:09:05.079 it or they kind of fell by the wayside. They 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:10.200 was almost like we had to reacquaint ourselves with them. 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:12.199 I kind of appreciate the pragmatism, right. It's like I 0:09:12.240 --> 0:09:15.240 have a similar scenario with my partner. He's much taller, 0:09:15.320 --> 0:09:17.560 he's white, has like ginger hair. I'm a short perto 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:20.280 Rican dude who's like Harry all over. We are very 0:09:20.280 --> 0:09:22.960 different types, as you said, right, and I think we 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:25.280 usually enjoy playing together, and there are moments where it's 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:27.040 like clear somebody's a little more into him than me, 0:09:27.320 --> 0:09:29.079 or maybe a little more into me than him. I 0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:30.880 don't quite know how to articulate it, but you can 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:34.080 tell when it veers from like a slight preference to 0:09:34.200 --> 0:09:36.880 like being rude and exclusionary. Sure, do you feel the 0:09:36.920 --> 0:09:38.160 same way, You're like, okay, this. 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:40.480 Is getting a little like right to deny that that 0:09:40.600 --> 0:09:46.320 exists in engaging with another solo person, another couple people 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:48.120 that liked you one day and don't like you another 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:50.040 day kind of thing. It You know, you have to 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:52.480 take it into account. You know, I love a quip 0:09:52.480 --> 0:09:54.360 in a one liner and say you can't have either 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:56.520 of us if you're not into both of us. Kind 0:09:56.520 --> 0:09:58.720 of thing, and that is easy for people to get 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:00.160 or at least in. 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:02.760 Two right to understand. 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:04.040 It. 0:10:04.240 --> 0:10:08.160 Yeah, we're going to make sure you're listening. You're not 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:09.960 going to hear it, you will listen to it. 0:10:11.120 --> 0:10:13.960 What other boundaries did you say? We had a boundary 0:10:13.960 --> 0:10:14.840 of condom. 0:10:14.720 --> 0:10:17.000 Condoms outside of the two of us, and even at 0:10:17.040 --> 0:10:19.599 our party if other people are having row sex, you 0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:23.120 know we have condoms and offer But everybody there knew 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:25.120 that if they were going to get together with. 0:10:25.120 --> 0:10:27.839 Us, they were going to have a condom on. But 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:29.680 I'm curious what goes through your head when you're at 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:31.679 one of your parties and maybe you see the other 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:34.760 person playing with someone else. I'm sure that there are 0:10:34.880 --> 0:10:37.439 varying levels of jealousy that have changed over the years. 0:10:37.720 --> 0:10:40.160 But what's the way you two found to kind of 0:10:40.160 --> 0:10:41.800 cope with that stuff and communicate through it. 0:10:41.880 --> 0:10:46.040 I would say, well, it gave me a view sort 0:10:46.040 --> 0:10:50.200 of behind the curtain, because I feel like we become 0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:53.160 more aware of each other's appetites. 0:10:54.080 --> 0:10:54.680 Practices. 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:57.920 I've walked by and Jordan's busy with like five people 0:10:59.040 --> 0:11:02.839 and I'm like, wow, you go, you go with. 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:05.960 But we know that we know that we've either you know, 0:11:06.080 --> 0:11:09.000 chatted with him about it, I had to drink about it, 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:10.840 or allowed in him saying I want to see you 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:12.040 do that to him next time. 0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:17.160 When we when we first started, there was this bottom 0:11:17.200 --> 0:11:21.959 top dynamic and I was determined to not let him 0:11:22.000 --> 0:11:23.480 get all the dicky. 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.160 And you know, being a you know. 0:11:26.280 --> 0:11:29.400 Total top is actually quite tiresome, isn't it. 0:11:29.480 --> 0:11:30.880 Yes, it's a little tire sound. 0:11:31.120 --> 0:11:33.360 And then you know, and Jordan would always been like, oh, 0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:35.600 I'm ready to go again, let's go again, and I'm like, 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:41.320 I'm you're gonna give me a heart. So I knew that, 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:44.800 I knew that he had appetites more than just my 0:11:45.040 --> 0:11:51.040 one staunch on top so fulfilled and the opposite of that, 0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:54.400 like I've been, you know, steadily on my journey of 0:11:54.440 --> 0:11:55.400 trying to take more and. 0:11:55.360 --> 0:12:01.240 More okay, and you know, and some pretty large ones 0:12:01.280 --> 0:12:05.720 at that. Yes, girl, I've seen you this. You know. 0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:08.160 It harkens back to these like settings and rules or 0:12:08.200 --> 0:12:11.199 topics about how we do what we do, and it 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:13.559 is a piece of our personal relationship that extends into 0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:15.079 these public fears. 0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:19.600 I think we keep the air of our gatherings very casual. Yes, 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:21.920 like me trying to take a dick in this sling. 0:12:22.040 --> 0:12:22.880 Jordan's walking by and. 0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:25.600 I'm like, oh my god, come hold my hand, can 0:12:25.679 --> 0:12:26.120 cheer me on. 0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:30.000 But there's a betting process for your parties though too, 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:31.840 like sure, and it's kind of rigorous. 0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:34.440 I would say I like to keep I like to 0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:37.840 be very thorough, direct and very clear about what the 0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:41.320 what the what the vibe or environment of the party 0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:42.880 is going to be. You know, we don't allow like 0:12:43.040 --> 0:12:47.120 condom shaming. You know, if any shaming shaming. 0:12:47.720 --> 0:12:49.520 You're into it, say hey. 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:52.760 If you're not into it, say thank you and keep 0:12:52.800 --> 0:12:55.520 it stepping because somebody's going to want you to feet later. 0:12:55.679 --> 0:12:58.440 Literally, we are going to take a quick break, but 0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:00.480 when we come back, we'll be asking Leo and Jordan 0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:02.679 for their tips if you're looking to start cruising as 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:04.960 a couple of yourself, and we'll learn about their exciting 0:13:05.080 --> 0:13:08.120 new party Comfort Daddy. More cruising confessions coming up. 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:14.200 Something special nou Sniffs in the summer, Something special about 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:18.199 all of my anonymous the first. Something special about our 0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:25.080 collective care and pleasure. Something special about sniff He's in 0:13:25.120 --> 0:13:28.960 the summer. Something special about a map of local dick 0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:34.760 and toolepics. Something special about safety and the humburgs oh N. 0:13:37.760 --> 0:13:40.480 And I have have. 0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:48.360 I something special about. 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:50.240 Sniffy s the some. 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:56.320 In the Summer, the summer. 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:07.439 Something a sort of sniffs the sum Ses. 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:11.079 That was Snippy's in the Summer by Clovis Gaynor. Now 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:13.280 we're talking with Leo and Jordan, the hop Ways behind 0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:17.080 the new Parties, j XXL and Comfort Daddy. Now y'all 0:14:17.080 --> 0:14:19.600 seem to have made your open relationship work. What would 0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:21.480 you say to the couples who are interested in having 0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:23.000 a sort of a relationship that you have. 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:26.400 The biggest piece of advice or encouragement that I can 0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:29.720 get from my perspective is to be open to it 0:14:29.880 --> 0:14:33.440 not working out like you planned, and to be able 0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:36.040 to be flexible and move within that or away from it. 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:39.080 There's safety in numbers. I would say, as a unit, 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:42.640 go into more of an event atmosphere rather than just 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:47.600 taking on just a third, because then the dynamics of 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:50.520 that are just so intense that you know somebody's going 0:14:50.560 --> 0:14:53.640 to feel left out. Where if you both go into 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:58.800 let's say, you know, an inferno event, there's just so 0:14:58.880 --> 0:15:01.280 much more to look at, talk out. You know, you 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:03.480 can make friends, you keep it, you know, you keep 0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:09.360 it familiar and casual. Our policy is that we only 0:15:10.360 --> 0:15:14.880 have sex with other people at events. We don't do 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:18.280 single fuck dates with other people. When I'm talking to 0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:21.480 people about our party or how we do our events, 0:15:22.080 --> 0:15:23.720 they will say, Oh, I'd rather just you know, hook 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:26.320 up with you and your partner. I'd rather see how 0:15:26.320 --> 0:15:31.560 that person actually engages in a more sexually charged environment, 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:34.480 just to get to know them better. I think that 0:15:34.600 --> 0:15:38.320 keeping these casual is a better idea from the beginning. 0:15:38.480 --> 0:15:40.960 How do you see other couples navigate sort of cruising 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:42.400 together or those spaces. 0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:44.640 I see a couple in their like sort of joined 0:15:44.640 --> 0:15:48.480 at the hip and they only move around together. In 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:50.680 my mind, I think, oh, well, they're still in that 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:56.240 honeymoon stage where you know, there's I'm sniffing at some 0:15:56.360 --> 0:16:00.920 kind of insecurity in there. I also think that attending 0:16:00.960 --> 0:16:02.840 an event like hours, you know you're going to work 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:04.800 through that, and there are going to be insecurities at 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:07.800 the beginning of any relationship, but I know who I'm 0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:10.040 going home with. Yeah, it makes me feel a little 0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:12.840 bit more calm about, you know, just hanging out. 0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:15.080 See what pops I mean. It will say for myself. 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:17.000 It took a while for my boyfriend and I to 0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:19.480 open up. The relationship was about three four years in. 0:16:19.720 --> 0:16:21.880 But I think having that sort of baseline of trust, 0:16:21.960 --> 0:16:25.480 understanding each other, developing a routine, our own rituals made 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:27.440 it so much easier to then be like, hey, I 0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:29.200 think we're at this point where we want to explore 0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:31.360 different things and no one partner is ever going to 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:34.480 be able to satiate every appetite you have, right, And 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:36.800 so I think opening that up made me feel so 0:16:36.960 --> 0:16:40.240 much more comfortable going to a sex party or inviting 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:41.920 a few folks home to hook up with us, or 0:16:42.000 --> 0:16:44.120 turning my birthday party into an orgy after midnight. Right, 0:16:45.120 --> 0:16:47.000 It's a lot more fun because I'm like, oh, I 0:16:47.080 --> 0:16:49.080 know what the deal is, I know our level of trust. 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:50.920 And again it's like, you know who you're going home 0:16:50.920 --> 0:16:51.720 with at the end of the night. 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:54.400 You have to know that there's going to be discomfort 0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:56.320 or it's not going to work out the way you 0:16:56.360 --> 0:16:58.840 think it is. And again, flexibility within. 0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:02.400 That and in going to these events, I mean some 0:17:02.520 --> 0:17:06.080 people go to them, you know avidly, or you know 0:17:06.080 --> 0:17:09.640 they're regulars, And I feel like the more you do it, 0:17:09.680 --> 0:17:11.800 the more as a couple, you go to these events, 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:15.359 you build confidence not only in each other but yourself. 0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:17.480 Well, there is something kind of fun, right about seeing 0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:20.119 your partner do something or try something that you haven't 0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:22.280 seen in them yet and seeing that kind of come 0:17:22.320 --> 0:17:24.960 out in them. Have either of you ever faced judgment 0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:27.720 from friends or strangers for other being in an open 0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:30.040 relationship or for throwing sex parties. 0:17:30.280 --> 0:17:38.600 I know we're in a corporate environment, but in my 0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:43.120 saying that is that I am very open with my escapades, 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:47.760 with my practices, with you know what I'm doing this weekend. 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:51.719 If someone asks, right leaving like freely and openly and 0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:55.359 having no shame, I think that turns some people off 0:17:56.160 --> 0:18:00.320 or it maybe it brings out their own insecurities in themself, 0:18:01.400 --> 0:18:04.120 so then they're gonna downplay what you do is being 0:18:04.160 --> 0:18:07.640 sort of out of bounds or not proper. I think 0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:12.680 promoting a you know, open and freeway of living it 0:18:12.760 --> 0:18:13.479 removes stigma. 0:18:13.720 --> 0:18:16.200 It also removes some of that judgment, right because then, 0:18:17.040 --> 0:18:20.399 like you were saying, there's this, it's carte blanche to 0:18:20.440 --> 0:18:23.479 have the conversation or whatever the conversation might be about. 0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:26.960 And so where somebody kind of down noses. 0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:27.840 Like eye rolls. 0:18:28.480 --> 0:18:31.480 It's then an opportunity that like, okay, this might turn 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:34.600 into a game to convert them and bring them into 0:18:34.640 --> 0:18:35.560 our house of worship. 0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:37.280 Right. 0:18:38.320 --> 0:18:41.280 So I'm curious about things from the other party side 0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:45.359 of you. Right, So, like, what should cruisers know before 0:18:45.440 --> 0:18:47.000 they start hooking up with couples. 0:18:47.320 --> 0:18:50.640 You might cruise a couple on a bad day for them, Okay, 0:18:50.760 --> 0:18:53.280 you know, yeah, you. 0:18:55.600 --> 0:18:58.760 Kind of don't know what what you know, what went 0:18:58.800 --> 0:19:00.000 on before they went on stage? 0:19:00.280 --> 0:19:03.280 Right, Yeah, somebody approaches us because like you know, we 0:19:03.359 --> 0:19:06.600 are out there, our shirts are off, or we're in 0:19:06.600 --> 0:19:09.520 our jock straps or whatever it might be. And you 0:19:09.600 --> 0:19:12.639 have to be prepared for not to go how you 0:19:12.680 --> 0:19:15.199 think it, how you have so maybe planned it or 0:19:15.240 --> 0:19:15.840 thought it might. 0:19:16.280 --> 0:19:18.880 On the other hand, you will. You can walk into 0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:19.679 a very warm situation. 0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:21.479 You can walk into everything that you might have and 0:19:21.520 --> 0:19:25.080 so flexibility with understanding. 0:19:25.880 --> 0:19:26.760 I like charisma. 0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:32.800 Yeah, I would say be charismatic and friendly and to 0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:36.840 keep it in a light place, be open and and 0:19:37.080 --> 0:19:40.040 and forward, but not intrusive. 0:19:40.760 --> 0:19:42.160 No, I like that too, And I think not being 0:19:42.160 --> 0:19:44.800 intrusive is a is a very great guideline, right, because 0:19:44.840 --> 0:19:48.280 you're a guest star in this couple's world, right. I 0:19:48.280 --> 0:19:51.199 mean what I'm hearing is your place, Yeah, in a 0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:54.520 very gentle way, in a very gentle way, know your 0:19:54.560 --> 0:19:56.879 place right and be and be good at it. Yeah, 0:19:58.400 --> 0:20:02.199 earn your place too, writ of course. Okay, So I 0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:04.639 am curious a bit more about JXXL and Comfort Daddy. 0:20:04.680 --> 0:20:06.840 I know you've been a regular attendee, but I'm curious 0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:09.159 you've talked to us a bit about the vibe. But 0:20:09.160 --> 0:20:10.880 there are so many hot sex parties in New York. 0:20:10.920 --> 0:20:12.719 What do you think makes yours the one to go to? 0:20:13.119 --> 0:20:16.200 And what's the difference between JXXL and Comfort Daddy. 0:20:16.359 --> 0:20:21.080