Speaker 1: Hey, viewers, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about
Speaker 1: queer sex. Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities.
Speaker 1: If hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more
Speaker 1: offends your sensibilities, you might want to skip this. Viewer
Speaker 1: discretion is advised. It's definitely not for kids. So game.
Speaker 2: So, Chris, question for you, Oh uh, have you ever
Speaker 2: gotten cruising for a third with a boyfriend or a partner?
Speaker 1: So in college, my very first boyfriend, I opened up
Speaker 1: our relationship and it did not go well in our
Speaker 1: early twenties, I don't think we had the emotional maturity
Speaker 1: to deal with that. My boyfriend now and I have
Speaker 1: been dating for seven years and for the very first
Speaker 1: time I think we have as a pair started dating someone. Oh,
Speaker 1: which is very funny. Yeah. So we're like together and
Speaker 1: we lived together and then we met this guy and
Speaker 1: we thought it would sort of be like a one
Speaker 1: off hookup. We were really into each other, Okay, And
Speaker 1: you know, I think when we first opened up our
Speaker 1: relationship because we lived together, it was just very easy
Speaker 1: for my boyfriend night hook cup of people together. But
Speaker 1: we've kind of I think as we've learned to maneuver
Speaker 1: that and started to trust each other more and understood
Speaker 1: like how to grapple jealousy and transparency. We started hooking
Speaker 1: up with people separately, and so with this guy that
Speaker 1: we're dating, I think this is somebody that we love
Speaker 1: to see together. But like if I'm out of town
Speaker 1: and my boyfriend and our boyfriend hang out, they can,
Speaker 1: and so it's like really nice. There's that comfort. I
Speaker 1: think we're all kind of on the same page about stuff.
Speaker 1: We hang out all the time. It's like very funny
Speaker 1: because I always cringe at the word throuple, but like
Speaker 1: somebody's like, are you' in a thrupple? And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think I am. I am in ale. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So it's like I like to say that. It's like
Speaker 1: we're dating someone, right. We haven't like made it official
Speaker 1: or anything concrete, but we see each other.
Speaker 2: When is that going to happen?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I hate making things concrete. It feels
Speaker 1: so straight to be like what are we okay? But
Speaker 1: like okay, okay, but what are we no? But it works.
Speaker 1: It's really nice. We've got a good flow, You've got
Speaker 1: a nice trust and I think we understand that there's
Speaker 1: like more of an emotional connection there. But we will
Speaker 1: also hook up with other people, so you know, we'll
Speaker 1: have our own moments. We'll have our moments together. But
Speaker 1: I think there's one person that we like cruised and
Speaker 1: ended up becoming like very much a part of our lives.
Speaker 1: Just been fun all right. Well, as we have been
Speaker 1: talking about, some couples do practice strict monogamy, and some
Speaker 1: couples do like to pick up tricks, attend sex parties
Speaker 1: and visit cruising spots together. Ain't love grand?
Speaker 2: In this episode, we'll talk to a married couple who
Speaker 2: cruise together and throw their own sex parties about how
Speaker 2: they make it work for them. Then Gabe and I
Speaker 2: are heading out to hear some cruising confessions both hot
Speaker 2: and horrific.
Speaker 1: Chris, I love it when we're cruising together. Welcome to
Speaker 1: Stiffy's Cruising Confessions.
Speaker 2: I am Gabelinzilers, I'm Chris Patterson Rosso. Each week weeks
Speaker 2: flore there sublind World of Queer Sex, Cruising and Relationship.
Speaker 1: We'll be talking to queer folks of all kinds, ask
Speaker 1: them questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations. A lot
Speaker 1: of us are discovering ourselves incrusing spaces.
Speaker 2: This happened to me at this toilet stall, in the
Speaker 2: library or the airport.
Speaker 1: I feel like everybody's gonna fuck a little harder here. Damn.
Speaker 1: So I've been like the neighborhood slot and I took
Speaker 1: pride in that.
Speaker 3: I was so afraid but yet so intrigued, and the
Speaker 3: more I gave him, the more he could take.
Speaker 2: If you're having sex on Sniffy's, you already have a
Speaker 2: moral deficit. Our guests today are two of my best duties.
Speaker 2: Leo and Jordan. They met it at sex party in
Speaker 2: twenty sixteen, have been together ever since. In twenty twenty
Speaker 2: two they got married, and today they throw the super
Speaker 2: hot New York based ex parties j xx L and
Speaker 2: Comfort Daddy, where you can find me working sometimes.
Speaker 1: Welcome Leo and Jordan. Well everyone, thank you. I wanted
Speaker 1: to start at the beginning with your story. Chris said,
Speaker 1: you met at a sex party, and I wanted to
Speaker 1: know more about the meat cute story.
Speaker 4: I pursued Leo first, and it took a few times,
Speaker 4: but I had started working close check at this sex
Speaker 4: party that happens in Manhattan. I had seen him out
Speaker 4: before as a shape shifter. I don't know if he
Speaker 4: knew it was me that was cruising him all this
Speaker 4: time before at different events and whatnot.
Speaker 1: I saw Leo.
Speaker 4: I came up to Leo and I said, hey, I
Speaker 4: think you're really cute. My advances were not received accepted.
Speaker 1: Look at that little smile, You're like, Look, I was busy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And then we came back to the July party,
Speaker 4: and you know, I said, let's try it again, and
Speaker 4: I got a no for a second time.
Speaker 1: So then for the party in.
Speaker 4: August, I was doing close check and I said, we'll
Speaker 4: do you know, to myself, We'll try it again. And
Speaker 4: with that I had said to Leo, this is the
Speaker 4: third time I'm asking you out, and I won't do
Speaker 4: it again. I got the phone number. We kind of
Speaker 4: log cabined it, you know, very quickly. Right after where
Speaker 4: I would stay the night, I would stay two nights.
Speaker 4: I would go back to get my long weekend of
Speaker 4: clothes out of my dresser where I was living in
Speaker 4: my apartment.
Speaker 1: Here we are today, Yeah, yeah, what's your experience of
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's what I I was like, version.
Speaker 5: Of the truth.
Speaker 3: It's true. He did ask me three times. I was
Speaker 3: attending that party each month. I had previously dated someone
Speaker 3: younger than me and that did not end well.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, so now we're getting like the background, all
Speaker 1: the content.
Speaker 3: So my fear in trepidation sort of kept me from,
Speaker 3: you know, saying yeah, right, right now, let's go. So
Speaker 3: then we after my birthday, we went on an official
Speaker 3: date at this restaurant in our neighborhood, and I said,
Speaker 3: before the date, I'm like, we will not be hooking
Speaker 3: up tonight. We've both seen each other in action, We've
Speaker 3: seen each other naked. We you know, we know a
Speaker 3: couple of things about each other. And we had a
Speaker 3: good dinner. The next day, we went on another date
Speaker 3: and he spent the night, and that's when we had sex.
Speaker 4: And then we capitulated that did meeting at a sex
Speaker 4: party make it easier for you to sort of approach
Speaker 4: this topic about anaship.
Speaker 3: I can speak from previous relationships that that was always a.
Speaker 1: Huge tension point.
Speaker 3: And when I decided I was going to pursue a
Speaker 3: relationship with Jordan, I knew that that was something that
Speaker 3: was definitely going to be needed to be worked out
Speaker 3: and very clear. I knew, because I am a man
Speaker 3: of a certain age and he was in his twenties,
Speaker 3: that neither of us were to be tamed.
Speaker 1: And I also think.
Speaker 3: That when you're in, you know, in a relationship, you
Speaker 3: want the best for the person and abundance for the person.
Speaker 3: The situation that we met in, we both know that
Speaker 3: we both have sexual appetite, so it was that we
Speaker 3: weren't going to deny each other that where you always
Speaker 3: opened from the jump. Once we became we made it
Speaker 3: official boyfriends. Then it was my idea that we actually
Speaker 3: start hosting our own, oh fun party, Yeah right, And
Speaker 3: it started like who we would have in our own home,
Speaker 3: in our apartment.
Speaker 1: So I'm curious the first time you all hosted a
Speaker 1: party together that was a bit more explicitly sexual. What
Speaker 1: was sort of navigating that like for the very first
Speaker 1: time once you had officially started dating.
Speaker 3: We invited a new friends. They were new friends to me,
Speaker 3: They were friends of Jordan's and I believe he said
Speaker 3: out loud that he hadn't been with one of them sexually,
Speaker 3: but he was looking forward to it to it and
Speaker 3: then you know, going through that process with him was
Speaker 3: actually kind of nice to watch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've seen her inaction.
Speaker 1: You know, she brought she brought the room together, and
Speaker 1: we need a unifier now more than we are here
Speaker 1: to foster relationships. Is it easier to kind of avoid
Speaker 1: the pitfalls of jealousy when you know the other person
Speaker 1: that you're hooking up with is also partnered.
Speaker 3: There's a level of comfort, But cruising other couples there's
Speaker 3: not necessarily a free radical and they're hungry. We both
Speaker 3: demand a level of respect from our suitors. You know,
Speaker 3: somebody's going to be into one more than the other.
Speaker 3: That's just kind of that's natural, right, you know, if
Speaker 3: you're not so into the other one, you have to at.
Speaker 1: Least be nice and respectable.
Speaker 3: When we sense that that's not the case, it's they
Speaker 3: you know, they get checked off the list.
Speaker 4: To nip that ship in the butt right away, because
Speaker 4: it only then like it's a death. It either is
Speaker 4: a death by a thousand paper cuts or like you know,
Speaker 4: a cat bite where it festers under the skin kind
Speaker 4: of thing.
Speaker 3: We both had previous dalliances that we were still friendly
Speaker 3: with after we made our book. You know, we became official,
Speaker 3: right and they either kind of got on board with
Speaker 3: it or they kind of fell by the wayside. They
Speaker 3: was almost like we had to reacquaint ourselves with them.
Speaker 1: I kind of appreciate the pragmatism, right. It's like I
Speaker 1: have a similar scenario with my partner. He's much taller,
Speaker 1: he's white, has like ginger hair. I'm a short perto
Speaker 1: Rican dude who's like Harry all over. We are very
Speaker 1: different types, as you said, right, and I think we
Speaker 1: usually enjoy playing together, and there are moments where it's
Speaker 1: like clear somebody's a little more into him than me,
Speaker 1: or maybe a little more into me than him. I
Speaker 1: don't quite know how to articulate it, but you can
Speaker 1: tell when it veers from like a slight preference to
Speaker 1: like being rude and exclusionary. Sure, do you feel the
Speaker 1: same way, You're like, okay, this.
Speaker 4: Is getting a little like right to deny that that
Speaker 4: exists in engaging with another solo person, another couple people
Speaker 4: that liked you one day and don't like you another
Speaker 4: day kind of thing. It You know, you have to
Speaker 4: take it into account. You know, I love a quip
Speaker 4: in a one liner and say you can't have either
Speaker 4: of us if you're not into both of us. Kind
Speaker 4: of thing, and that is easy for people to get
Speaker 4: or at least in.
Speaker 1: Two right to understand.
Speaker 6: It.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're going to make sure you're listening. You're not
Speaker 1: going to hear it, you will listen to it.
Speaker 2: What other boundaries did you say? We had a boundary
Speaker 2: of condom.
Speaker 4: Condoms outside of the two of us, and even at
Speaker 4: our party if other people are having row sex, you
Speaker 4: know we have condoms and offer But everybody there knew
Speaker 4: that if they were going to get together with.
Speaker 1: Us, they were going to have a condom on. But
Speaker 1: I'm curious what goes through your head when you're at
Speaker 1: one of your parties and maybe you see the other
Speaker 1: person playing with someone else. I'm sure that there are
Speaker 1: varying levels of jealousy that have changed over the years.
Speaker 1: But what's the way you two found to kind of
Speaker 1: cope with that stuff and communicate through it.
Speaker 3: I would say, well, it gave me a view sort
Speaker 3: of behind the curtain, because I feel like we become
Speaker 3: more aware of each other's appetites.
Speaker 1: Practices.
Speaker 3: I've walked by and Jordan's busy with like five people
Speaker 3: and I'm like, wow, you go, you go with.
Speaker 4: But we know that we know that we've either you know,
Speaker 4: chatted with him about it, I had to drink about it,
Speaker 4: or allowed in him saying I want to see you
Speaker 4: do that to him next time.
Speaker 3: When we when we first started, there was this bottom
Speaker 3: top dynamic and I was determined to not let him
Speaker 3: get all the dicky.
Speaker 1: And you know, being a you know.
Speaker 3: Total top is actually quite tiresome, isn't it.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's a little tire sound.
Speaker 3: And then you know, and Jordan would always been like, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm ready to go again, let's go again, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: I'm you're gonna give me a heart. So I knew that,
Speaker 3: I knew that he had appetites more than just my
Speaker 3: one staunch on top so fulfilled and the opposite of that,
Speaker 3: like I've been, you know, steadily on my journey of
Speaker 3: trying to take more and.
Speaker 1: More okay, and you know, and some pretty large ones
Speaker 1: at that. Yes, girl, I've seen you this. You know.
Speaker 4: It harkens back to these like settings and rules or
Speaker 4: topics about how we do what we do, and it
Speaker 4: is a piece of our personal relationship that extends into
Speaker 4: these public fears.
Speaker 3: I think we keep the air of our gatherings very casual. Yes,
Speaker 3: like me trying to take a dick in this sling.
Speaker 3: Jordan's walking by and.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, come hold my hand, can
Speaker 1: cheer me on.
Speaker 2: But there's a betting process for your parties though too,
Speaker 2: like sure, and it's kind of rigorous.
Speaker 3: I would say I like to keep I like to
Speaker 3: be very thorough, direct and very clear about what the
Speaker 3: what the what the vibe or environment of the party
Speaker 3: is going to be. You know, we don't allow like
Speaker 3: condom shaming. You know, if any shaming shaming.
Speaker 1: You're into it, say hey.
Speaker 3: If you're not into it, say thank you and keep
Speaker 3: it stepping because somebody's going to want you to feet later.
Speaker 1: Literally, we are going to take a quick break, but
Speaker 1: when we come back, we'll be asking Leo and Jordan
Speaker 1: for their tips if you're looking to start cruising as
Speaker 1: a couple of yourself, and we'll learn about their exciting
Speaker 1: new party Comfort Daddy. More cruising confessions coming up.
Speaker 7: Something special nou Sniffs in the summer, Something special about
Speaker 7: all of my anonymous the first. Something special about our
Speaker 7: collective care and pleasure. Something special about sniff He's in
Speaker 7: the summer. Something special about a map of local dick
Speaker 7: and toolepics. Something special about safety and the humburgs oh N.
Speaker 1: And I have have.
Speaker 7: I something special about.
Speaker 6: Sniffy s the some.
Speaker 7: In the Summer, the summer.
Speaker 1: Something a sort of sniffs the sum Ses.
Speaker 2: That was Snippy's in the Summer by Clovis Gaynor. Now
Speaker 2: we're talking with Leo and Jordan, the hop Ways behind
Speaker 2: the new Parties, j XXL and Comfort Daddy. Now y'all
Speaker 2: seem to have made your open relationship work. What would
Speaker 2: you say to the couples who are interested in having
Speaker 2: a sort of a relationship that you have.
Speaker 4: The biggest piece of advice or encouragement that I can
Speaker 4: get from my perspective is to be open to it
Speaker 4: not working out like you planned, and to be able
Speaker 4: to be flexible and move within that or away from it.
Speaker 3: There's safety in numbers. I would say, as a unit,
Speaker 3: go into more of an event atmosphere rather than just
Speaker 3: taking on just a third, because then the dynamics of
Speaker 3: that are just so intense that you know somebody's going
Speaker 3: to feel left out. Where if you both go into
Speaker 3: let's say, you know, an inferno event, there's just so
Speaker 3: much more to look at, talk out. You know, you
Speaker 3: can make friends, you keep it, you know, you keep
Speaker 3: it familiar and casual. Our policy is that we only
Speaker 3: have sex with other people at events. We don't do
Speaker 3: single fuck dates with other people. When I'm talking to
Speaker 3: people about our party or how we do our events,
Speaker 3: they will say, Oh, I'd rather just you know, hook
Speaker 3: up with you and your partner. I'd rather see how
Speaker 3: that person actually engages in a more sexually charged environment,
Speaker 3: just to get to know them better. I think that
Speaker 3: keeping these casual is a better idea from the beginning.
Speaker 1: How do you see other couples navigate sort of cruising
Speaker 1: together or those spaces.
Speaker 3: I see a couple in their like sort of joined
Speaker 3: at the hip and they only move around together. In
Speaker 3: my mind, I think, oh, well, they're still in that
Speaker 3: honeymoon stage where you know, there's I'm sniffing at some
Speaker 3: kind of insecurity in there. I also think that attending
Speaker 3: an event like hours, you know you're going to work
Speaker 3: through that, and there are going to be insecurities at
Speaker 3: the beginning of any relationship, but I know who I'm
Speaker 3: going home with. Yeah, it makes me feel a little
Speaker 3: bit more calm about, you know, just hanging out.
Speaker 1: See what pops I mean. It will say for myself.
Speaker 1: It took a while for my boyfriend and I to
Speaker 1: open up. The relationship was about three four years in.
Speaker 1: But I think having that sort of baseline of trust,
Speaker 1: understanding each other, developing a routine, our own rituals made
Speaker 1: it so much easier to then be like, hey, I
Speaker 1: think we're at this point where we want to explore
Speaker 1: different things and no one partner is ever going to
Speaker 1: be able to satiate every appetite you have, right, And
Speaker 1: so I think opening that up made me feel so
Speaker 1: much more comfortable going to a sex party or inviting
Speaker 1: a few folks home to hook up with us, or
Speaker 1: turning my birthday party into an orgy after midnight. Right,
Speaker 1: It's a lot more fun because I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 1: know what the deal is, I know our level of trust.
Speaker 1: And again it's like, you know who you're going home
Speaker 1: with at the end of the night.
Speaker 4: You have to know that there's going to be discomfort
Speaker 4: or it's not going to work out the way you
Speaker 4: think it is. And again, flexibility within.
Speaker 3: That and in going to these events, I mean some
Speaker 3: people go to them, you know avidly, or you know
Speaker 3: they're regulars, And I feel like the more you do it,
Speaker 3: the more as a couple, you go to these events,
Speaker 3: you build confidence not only in each other but yourself.
Speaker 1: Well, there is something kind of fun, right about seeing
Speaker 1: your partner do something or try something that you haven't
Speaker 1: seen in them yet and seeing that kind of come
Speaker 1: out in them. Have either of you ever faced judgment
Speaker 1: from friends or strangers for other being in an open
Speaker 1: relationship or for throwing sex parties.
Speaker 3: I know we're in a corporate environment, but in my
Speaker 3: saying that is that I am very open with my escapades,
Speaker 3: with my practices, with you know what I'm doing this weekend.
Speaker 3: If someone asks, right leaving like freely and openly and
Speaker 3: having no shame, I think that turns some people off
Speaker 3: or it maybe it brings out their own insecurities in themself,
Speaker 3: so then they're gonna downplay what you do is being
Speaker 3: sort of out of bounds or not proper. I think
Speaker 3: promoting a you know, open and freeway of living it
Speaker 3: removes stigma.
Speaker 4: It also removes some of that judgment, right because then,
Speaker 4: like you were saying, there's this, it's carte blanche to
Speaker 4: have the conversation or whatever the conversation might be about.
Speaker 4: And so where somebody kind of down noses.
Speaker 1: Like eye rolls.
Speaker 4: It's then an opportunity that like, okay, this might turn
Speaker 4: into a game to convert them and bring them into
Speaker 4: our house of worship.
Speaker 6: Right.
Speaker 2: So I'm curious about things from the other party side
Speaker 2: of you. Right, So, like, what should cruisers know before
Speaker 2: they start hooking up with couples.
Speaker 4: You might cruise a couple on a bad day for them, Okay,
Speaker 4: you know, yeah, you.
Speaker 3: Kind of don't know what what you know, what went
Speaker 3: on before they went on stage?
Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, somebody approaches us because like you know, we
Speaker 4: are out there, our shirts are off, or we're in
Speaker 4: our jock straps or whatever it might be. And you
Speaker 4: have to be prepared for not to go how you
Speaker 4: think it, how you have so maybe planned it or
Speaker 4: thought it might.
Speaker 1: On the other hand, you will. You can walk into
Speaker 1: a very warm situation.
Speaker 4: You can walk into everything that you might have and
Speaker 4: so flexibility with understanding.
Speaker 1: I like charisma.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say be charismatic and friendly and to
Speaker 3: keep it in a light place, be open and and
Speaker 3: and forward, but not intrusive.
Speaker 1: No, I like that too, And I think not being
Speaker 1: intrusive is a is a very great guideline, right, because
Speaker 1: you're a guest star in this couple's world, right. I
Speaker 1: mean what I'm hearing is your place, Yeah, in a
Speaker 1: very gentle way, in a very gentle way, know your
Speaker 1: place right and be and be good at it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: earn your place too, writ of course. Okay, So I
Speaker 1: am curious a bit more about JXXL and Comfort Daddy.
Speaker 1: I know you've been a regular attendee, but I'm curious
Speaker 1: you've talked to us a bit about the vibe. But
Speaker 1: there are so many hot sex parties in New York.
Speaker 1: What do you think makes yours the one to go to?
Speaker 1: And what's the difference between JXXL and Comfort Daddy.
Speaker 3: JXXL was, you know, an invite only we rent the space,
Speaker 3: so we were I felt like we were entitled to make,
Speaker 3: you know, pick and choose our list. And like I said,
Speaker 3: it was about like Vibe referrals, there's some intimacy there.
Speaker 3: It's not competitive, it's not CD. What Comfort Daddy is
Speaker 3: offering is more of a like diversity. It's a very
Speaker 3: evocative party title. Let me tell you, I saw it
Speaker 3: in my eyes lit up.
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, because.
Speaker 2: It's all the different meanings were Comfort Daddy Daddy.
Speaker 1: But I'm don't you come for Daddy exactly.
Speaker 3: I've had to ask myself like, what exactly are we
Speaker 3: doing bringing it more into the public sector With Comfort Daddy,
Speaker 3: it is a you know, it's a public facing I'm
Speaker 3: calling it a public facing event.
Speaker 1: There'll be a variety of music our DJs.
Speaker 3: I think, are you know, unique in their in their offerings,
Speaker 3: and you know it's not your cookie cutter pots and
Speaker 3: pants like circuit music. Again, like a level of intimacy
Speaker 3: that's not competitive. It is almost like a celebration of
Speaker 3: I would say, like manhood. You know, guys in their jocks,
Speaker 3: you know, kind of bearing bearing all. You know what
Speaker 3: you're getting when you go inside. Yes, all right, well,
Speaker 3: thank y'all so much for stopping by. How can people
Speaker 3: find you online? And how do we get to your party.
Speaker 4: At j x x L community community spelled the dictionary
Speaker 4: Way is our instagram for JXXL.
Speaker 1: That's how you can find Comfort Daddy.
Speaker 3: Yes, and then in order to come to one of
Speaker 3: the JXSL parties to know somebody, somebody, you got to
Speaker 3: talk to us, make a good impression.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 1: Thank you both again for coming. This has been such
Speaker 1: a lovely conversation. All right, when we get back, Chris
Speaker 1: and I will be cruising over to one of Brooklyn's
Speaker 1: hottest new night spots to hear some piping hot cruising confessions.
Speaker 1: We'll see after the break. Hey, welcome back to Snippy's
Speaker 1: Cruising Confessions.
Speaker 2: We are here at Animal Bar here in Williamsborg, New York.
Speaker 2: It's the hottest new bar here in the city, and
Speaker 2: we're just gonna be asking people what it's like to
Speaker 2: cruise as a couple or as a single who cruises
Speaker 2: with couples. Tell us about the time that you've hooked
Speaker 2: up with couples.
Speaker 1: I hooked up with a couple.
Speaker 8: They were beautiful, a very I would say, like famous
Speaker 8: Instagate couple. Okay, I was planning on hooking up with them,
Speaker 8: and while at the same time also talking to another guy.
Speaker 8: The other guy and I were chatting and he was like,
Speaker 8: oh my gosh, you're planning on a cooking up with
Speaker 8: this couple.
Speaker 1: I hook up with them all the time.
Speaker 8: Should I also join? So the four of us ended
Speaker 8: up actually hooking up together, which was so much fun.
Speaker 1: I had a great time.
Speaker 2: And do you normally hook up with couples?
Speaker 8: Is that like your thing, or I wouldn't say that
Speaker 8: it's normally my thing. I think it's like if the
Speaker 8: right moment presents, if I'm into both of them, if
Speaker 8: clearly they're there to both play.
Speaker 1: Together, I'm into it.
Speaker 8: If there's like a weird dynamic or there's like some
Speaker 8: underlying vibe that I get that there's like a weird
Speaker 8: jealousy component to it's not my thing. I am currently
Speaker 8: in a monogamous relationship.
Speaker 1: Have you all ever talked about inviting a third into
Speaker 1: your sexual activity.
Speaker 8: I think that the way that we think about it
Speaker 8: is an open relationship is something that you do separately,
Speaker 8: or that there's not a conversation you have to have
Speaker 8: before you hook up with someone else. For us, I
Speaker 8: don't think that makes sense. I think only playing together
Speaker 8: is something that we would do. It would only make
Speaker 8: sense if we both are really into it and both
Speaker 8: excited about it. I think if there's even just a
Speaker 8: hint of doubt or not feeling like it's the right time,
Speaker 8: we would both kind of back out and not feel
Speaker 8: like it's important.
Speaker 1: So Keith, how long have you all been together and
Speaker 1: when did you decide to open up the relationship? About
Speaker 1: two years and I don't know.
Speaker 8: It was kind of from the beginning we decided that
Speaker 8: like it worked well for us.
Speaker 9: We found that it really helped to connect on the
Speaker 9: expectation of monogamy versus non monogamy at the beginning, and
Speaker 9: that just makes us smooth all the way through.
Speaker 1: So if I can ask, what was your most recent
Speaker 1: experience with a third or with a group, like, it
Speaker 1: wasn't really anything that was like out of the norm
Speaker 1: for us.
Speaker 9: It's kind of like a routine hookup with someone and
Speaker 9: we aligned on a lot of the things that we
Speaker 9: liked at the beginning and kind of like made sure that.
Speaker 1: The third was into it as.
Speaker 9: Well, and it played off very smoothly from there. So
Speaker 9: communication and expectation setting work really well, and it just
Speaker 9: felt natural. We find confident knowing that we like know
Speaker 9: what we're doing and we can kind of provide and
Speaker 9: experiencing the other person as well. That isn't like awkward
Speaker 9: or like we have to figure out our own shit
Speaker 9: while they're like kind of along for the ride, Like
Speaker 9: we can kind of just make it clow smoothly.
Speaker 1: Have you found there are any like kind of ground rules,
Speaker 1: Like we talked to a couple earlier this episode that
Speaker 1: told us they won't hook up with anyone if the
Speaker 1: third isn't into both of them.
Speaker 9: I think the biggest thing for us is just knowing
Speaker 9: that the other person is like planning on hooking up.
Speaker 1: There's like no secrets.
Speaker 9: There's obviously a very interconnected community of gays in New York,
Speaker 9: so you just want to make sure that you don't
Speaker 9: like potentially hookup with someone or get involved with someone
Speaker 9: that is contentious to your partner.
Speaker 1: Let's say that you all are cruising tonight, assuming you
Speaker 1: might be looking. What's like one sign that someone might
Speaker 1: be approachable or someone you might be interested in.
Speaker 9: Just a look and like a second of like prolonged
Speaker 9: eye contact and like a very innocent, simple like expression
Speaker 9: of interest usually and then you kind of know from there, Yeah.
Speaker 2: That little smirk that you get, Yeah, yeah, the one
Speaker 2: you're giving them right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Issue. We are here with a very lovely guest.
Speaker 1: We've managed sharrangle Edward. Do you have any memorable stories
Speaker 1: you'd like to share with us? Yeah?
Speaker 10: No, I mean I dated a couple for about six
Speaker 10: months and then it got it got kind of weird.
Speaker 10: One of them got jealous, but it was fantastic experience.
Speaker 10: I learned a lot about myself and yeah, which is great.
Speaker 10: I don't want to write like I'm a power top
Speaker 10: gave nose. I have this thing where I can come.
Speaker 8: Like multiple, multiple, multiple.
Speaker 10: Times without pulling out. I mean like twenty one times
Speaker 10: at twenty two times in my record. But they loved that,
Speaker 10: and so it became kind of like a selling point
Speaker 10: for one of them, and then the other one got jealous.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you feel like there's like a bit of
Speaker 1: pressure with that? Oh?
Speaker 10: Yeah, before they meet popular Like, how many times are
Speaker 10: you gonna come?
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know.
Speaker 10: I can't predict the future, but sometimes it's.
Speaker 2: A lot depends on how well you do your job.
Speaker 2: The minimum is like four or five times.
Speaker 1: I think the better question would be, how are you
Speaker 1: going to make me come? Yeah, right, let's get that.
Speaker 1: Let's flip that. I'm pretty good at that.
Speaker 2: And so have you as a couple hooked up with
Speaker 2: a third or yeah?
Speaker 10: I mean to be honest, I like to watch the
Speaker 10: guy i've been dating get fucked Yeah, and then kind
Speaker 10: of fucking matter.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's more I like.
Speaker 10: To watch more. Otherwise I like to be watched by
Speaker 10: a third when I'm fucking at Yeah.
Speaker 1: Any advice for people who might be in open relationships
Speaker 1: who want to hook up with.
Speaker 10: A third Yeah, I think just be free, be open,
Speaker 10: be curious, Like I was in a lot of monogamous
Speaker 10: relationships and the one that's once I opened it up,
Speaker 10: it's been very hot, to be honest, like, I would
Speaker 10: recommend it if you're emotionally available.
Speaker 1: And talking to your partner. It's really good. Out of
Speaker 1: five stars, ten out of five. Yeah, you heard it
Speaker 1: here first, and that's how many times he's coming. We're
Speaker 1: here with Matthew, also known as Midnight Radio, one of
Speaker 1: Animal's favorite DJs. You can find spinning here on the regular.
Speaker 2: I'd love for you to tell our audience a little
Speaker 2: bit about what it's been like for you as a
Speaker 2: single person in cruising with couples.
Speaker 11: You know how like Nicki Minaj's verse on Monster is
Speaker 11: the best verse. It feels like that.
Speaker 1: You're the Nicki Minaj verse anytime you're featuring. Of course,
Speaker 1: of course, Matthew, I'm curious, what was your latest took
Speaker 1: up experience with a couple?
Speaker 11: Like we hooked up, they broke up. I ended up
Speaker 11: with one of them. And two years later we broke up.
Speaker 1: Oh did they break up during the hookup or like afterward?
Speaker 1: That would be pretty fire, though, if you had that power,
Speaker 1: if one of them was like, you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: actually done.
Speaker 11: No, it didn't happen quite that quickly. But yeah, I
Speaker 11: think inevitably one could fall in love with a single
Speaker 11: person the other one gets angry when we have an
Speaker 11: issue that can work out for the single person or
Speaker 11: it could not as a single person. You have to
Speaker 11: remember you have no say. You might be the featured artist,
Speaker 11: but you have no say.
Speaker 1: Tonight we are here with Michael. Michael, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for joining us. Are you in a relationship right
Speaker 1: now that's open or are you here cruising for couples?
Speaker 6: No? Actually I met with a friend, but I'm in
Speaker 6: a relationship for eighteen years. Yeah, I'm in an open relationship.
Speaker 1: How long were you into your relationship before you and
Speaker 1: your partner decided to open it up?
Speaker 6: Five years. It was in Italy and we were talking
Speaker 6: about that. Everyone has it in his mind, and it
Speaker 6: was like and then we said, okay, let's open the relationship,
Speaker 6: but it will be a little bit like a Pandora box,
Speaker 6: you know. We decided to take this risk and it
Speaker 6: worked actually, and.
Speaker 2: Can you talk a little bit about what the evolution
Speaker 2: was like.
Speaker 6: I had this obsession that we we have to be
Speaker 6: in a treism relationship more than less or to do
Speaker 6: a treism. It was not easy because I fall in
Speaker 6: love with the with the Italian with an Italian guy.
Speaker 1: That's relationship in Italy. Do you have any advice for
Speaker 1: people who might be looking to open up the relationship
Speaker 1: or join another couple.
Speaker 6: To be in an open relationship, you have to be
Speaker 6: very in a good relationship to yourself and in a
Speaker 6: good relationship to your partner, and very honest, because if
Speaker 6: it became kind of competition, it could be very bad
Speaker 6: for the relationship. So I would take care when I
Speaker 6: open the relationship if if I'm able to manage it.
Speaker 1: We are here with as well and Jay, are you open?
Speaker 1: Do you hook up with other folks a lot together?
Speaker 5: So yeah, we just open a relationship about less than
Speaker 5: like six months ago. But when it comes to actually
Speaker 5: using it in practice, even less than that, I had
Speaker 5: a couple threesomes, a couple of individual interactions, but nothing
Speaker 5: too crazy. So I would say we're still relatively new
Speaker 5: and still exploring.
Speaker 1: I love that you've got like your driver's permit for
Speaker 1: that openships, but we're working towards the full license. We
Speaker 1: are going slowly with it.
Speaker 12: We both understand that we're both individual personalities and we're
Speaker 12: working together as a team versus being a little bit
Speaker 12: more possessive about it.
Speaker 1: I love that y'all are the Jujubi and Raven of
Speaker 1: open couples. Yes, all stars one. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I love that your twenties are for figuring out yourself.
Speaker 5: And I feel like I spent like my first six
Speaker 5: years of my twenties kind of figuring out myself and
Speaker 5: that's when I got into relationship afterwards. But at that point,
Speaker 5: I knew myself so well. I knew what I didn't
Speaker 5: want and what I did want, so that I feel
Speaker 5: like I was the most prepared for when a relationship
Speaker 5: actually came. So I'm curious how long were you all
Speaker 5: dating and what was that like kind of conversation and
Speaker 5: like once you did decide to invite other people into
Speaker 5: having sex with you, Well, we.
Speaker 12: Talked about it before we even decided to be boyfriends,
Speaker 12: so we actually had a really honest discussion when we
Speaker 12: first started talking to each other.
Speaker 1: Seriously in terms of what we were looking for.
Speaker 5: Honestly, because I had seen relationships that were close to
Speaker 5: me in open relationships, and I think that they were
Speaker 5: some of the most beautiful relationship that I've seen in
Speaker 5: the queer community. So that was something that I was like, Oh,
Speaker 5: I was always very drawn to that because it's just
Speaker 5: like for me, at least, I was a very sexual person.
Speaker 5: So it's just like it was gonna be hard for
Speaker 5: me to be monogamous to someone from what I thought,
Speaker 5: and it has come easier as the way.
Speaker 1: But I will say I still have.
Speaker 5: My sexual urges and things like that, and I feel
Speaker 5: like it doesn't have to mean anything other than that.
Speaker 5: Like to me, that's my ideology. It's different for everybody,
Speaker 5: but that's just how I think of it.
Speaker 1: And tonight we're here with Walker.
Speaker 13: Well, I'm in an open relationship when I came here tonight,
Speaker 13: so I'm from Albuquerque, New Mexico. I was in a
Speaker 13: relationship with this guy who lived in Santa Fe at
Speaker 13: the time, and he was always telling me about this
Speaker 13: like big like bear daddy couple who had a hot tub, right, So.
Speaker 1: We were gonna go hook up with them and be
Speaker 1: in their hot.
Speaker 13: Tub immediately a selling point, right, yeah, But then me
Speaker 13: and him broke up, unfortunately, but I still wanted to
Speaker 13: get in the hot tub. So I hit the guys
Speaker 13: up and they were into me. So I drive up
Speaker 13: to Santa Fe. I go hang out with them. I'm
Speaker 13: like sitting in their living room for a little bit.
Speaker 13: You know, we're having the chat beforehand, we're getting to
Speaker 13: know each other a little bit. So I'm like, come
Speaker 13: up to the bedroom. I think it's time. And it
Speaker 13: turns out one of them is a police officer. So
Speaker 13: in the bio, he has the pig emoji, and I
Speaker 13: thought it was like raunchy pig, but it turns out
Speaker 13: it's cop pig.
Speaker 7: Right.
Speaker 1: At least he's self aware, right, No, right, right? Right?
Speaker 1: So this is not where I thought this story was going.
Speaker 1: This might be the wildest story we had. You're like,
Speaker 1: I thought the pigamog may he was into raunch but
Speaker 1: he's actually a cop.
Speaker 13: So so I get upstairs and they're like, are you
Speaker 13: into handcuffs? And I go, I've never tried, but I
Speaker 13: guess i'd be open to it. And he's like, well,
Speaker 13: you know, I'm a police officer. So he pulls out
Speaker 13: his like police grade handcuffs.
Speaker 1: Right, I'm sorry, not the state sponsored handcuffs.
Speaker 13: Okay, all right, So I'm on all fours. I then
Speaker 13: get onto like my chest, knees up right, I guess,
Speaker 13: butt up on my knees on all fours. I'm trying
Speaker 13: to paint the picture. Hands, please do, please do paint
Speaker 13: the picture for us. Hands behind me. They fucked me
Speaker 13: for all of like five minutes. Like there was like
Speaker 13: an hour and a half build up. They fucked me
Speaker 13: for all of five minutes exactly, and there was there
Speaker 13: was and there was absolutely no focus on me. I
Speaker 13: was truly there for their pleasure, which is never like
Speaker 13: not a bad thing, but I was hoping for a
Speaker 13: little more. Anyways, they finish inside me, they take the
Speaker 13: handcuffs off, and they're like, okay, so do you want
Speaker 13: to leave?
Speaker 1: I'm all, but.
Speaker 2: What about the hot tub?
Speaker 1: And they didn't let you back into the hot tub,
Speaker 1: so there was no hot tub.
Speaker 13: I drove home with a load in my butt, and
Speaker 13: did you tell your excess story?
Speaker 1: No, he doesn't know.
Speaker 13: Oh so if he's a viewer listener of the pod,
Speaker 13: maybe he'll reach out.
Speaker 1: Well he might now, Miss Albuquerque if you recognize Walker
Speaker 1: and you know what happened. I appreciate the referral, but
Speaker 1: it didn't turn out as expected. I'm so sorry, God,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry for you. Thank you. I really need
Speaker 1: all the sympathy I can get. Maybe y'all better ask
Speaker 1: follow up questions when you see the PIGAMOCHI. That's all
Speaker 1: I'm saying again. I want to thank our guest today,
Speaker 1: Leo and Jordan and the team over at Animal in Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is a production of the Outspoken podcast
Speaker 1: Network from iHeart Podcasts. It's directed by Adam Barron, produced
Speaker 1: by Stevie Williams and Cameron Femino, and executive produced by
Speaker 1: Eli Martin. Cruising Confessions is presented by Sniffy's, the ultimate
Speaker 1: map based cruising platform for gay, by and curious people
Speaker 1: ready to cruise. Check out the map at Sniffy's dot
Speaker 1: com and follow Sniffy's on socials at Sniffy's app. Put
Speaker 1: your put your poots to y