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Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olberman is a production of I Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: This is Sports Center. Wait check that not anymore. This

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Speaker 1: is Countdown with Keith. You are hearing right. We're starting

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Speaker 1: in sports because of breaking news, two extraordinary stories that

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Speaker 1: happened overnight. Then we'll go to Trump and Tuesday's developments.

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Speaker 1: That mean if he was waiting for just the right

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Speaker 1: time to flee the country, that moment is now. First

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Speaker 1: baseball free agent Carlos Korea, this time Tuesday, on his

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Speaker 1: way to a press conference to sign with the San

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Speaker 1: Francisco Giants, has instead signed overnight with the New York Mets.

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Speaker 1: The free agent and the Giants had agreed to a

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Speaker 1: three and fifty million dollar contract to run through the

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Speaker 1: season of twenty thirty four. They scheduled a news conference

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Speaker 1: for eleven am Pacific Yesterday. At eight fifteen am Pacific,

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Speaker 1: the Giants postponed the news conference. Then they postponed Korea's

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Speaker 1: scheduled appearance on the team's flagship radio station. It was

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Speaker 1: widely reported something turned up in Korea's physical that caused

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Speaker 1: the Giants to hesitate, and over which they and Korea

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Speaker 1: and his people disagreed, and the Giants wanted a second opinion.

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Speaker 1: New York and the baseball world awoke to news that

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Speaker 1: Korea too had a second opinion. He wasn't waiting around.

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Speaker 1: He signed with the Mets overnight for one year less

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Speaker 1: and only about six hundred and fifty thousand less a year,

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Speaker 1: three hundred and fifteen million for twelve years instead of

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Speaker 1: three hundred and fifty million for thirteen years, and he

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Speaker 1: will switch from shortstop to third base in New York.

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Speaker 1: It is stunning because yeah, teams back out of trades

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Speaker 1: and contracts all the time. Just looking at the Mets.

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Speaker 1: In one they selected the picture Kumar Rocker out of

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Speaker 1: Vanderbilt with the tenth pick of the amateur draft. Then

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Speaker 1: they got a look at his physical and they didn't

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Speaker 1: sign him. Six years earlier, they had traded infielder Wilmer

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Speaker 1: Florists to Milwaukee for outfielder Carlos Gomez. News of the

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Speaker 1: trade leaked out during a game. Flora's found out. He

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Speaker 1: began to weep on the field during play, the fans

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Speaker 1: rose in emotional standing ovations. Then Gomez failed his Mets physical,

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Speaker 1: the deal was called off. The Mets instead traded for

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Speaker 1: Joenna Cespitas, and he and the untraded Flores led them

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Speaker 1: to the World Series of two thousand fifteen. But what's

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Speaker 1: bizarre here is this got to within two hours and

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Speaker 1: forty five minutes of Carlos Carea and the San Francisco

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Speaker 1: Giants announcing their deal at a press conference. I was

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Speaker 1: flashed back and my flashbacks are a theme for today's

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Speaker 1: podcast to the story of Bob Donal Wald and assist

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Speaker 1: in basketball coach at Indiana University under Bobby Knight. Donna

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Speaker 1: Wald accepted the job as the head coach of Brown

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Speaker 1: University in and flew to Rhode Island. But on the

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Speaker 1: way to the press conference at Brown at the end

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Speaker 1: of March seventy eight, Dona Wald changed his mind. He

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Speaker 1: got out of the car and he told Brown's athletic

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Speaker 1: director he would just walk to the airport and go

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Speaker 1: back to Indiana. He later coached for a couple of

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Speaker 1: colleges in the Midwest. Carlos Korea is of course, not

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Speaker 1: officially a New York met The deal is pending physical

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Speaker 1: and obviously the completion of the press conference. There is

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Speaker 1: another breaking sports story from overnight Tuesday Wednesday, and it

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Speaker 1: is nowhere near as happy Football Hall of Famer Frank

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Speaker 1: O'harris of Penn State and the Pittsburgh Steelers has died

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Speaker 1: at the age of seventy two. He was the most

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Speaker 1: Valuable player of Super Bowl nine. In all, he won

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Speaker 1: four Super Bowls in Pittsburgh, but he will always be

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Speaker 1: remembered for one play, and that's what makes this extraordinary.

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Speaker 1: In the final thirty seconds of the nineteen seventy two

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Speaker 1: a FC Divisional playoff game against the Raiders, Terry Branshaw

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Speaker 1: passed the Steeler running back John Frenchie Fuqua. The ball

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Speaker 1: bounced off defender Jack Tatum, or it bounced off Tatum

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Speaker 1: and Fuqua and into Harris's hands and he ran it

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Speaker 1: in for the game winning touchdown that kept the Steelers

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Speaker 1: playoff hopes alive. Or it bounced only off Fuqua, or

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Speaker 1: it bounced off the turf. Both of those would have

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Speaker 1: made it an incomplete pass and a dead ball and

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Speaker 1: no touchdown. The officials during the game in real time

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Speaker 1: seemed to disagree over the call, but ultimately Harris was

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Speaker 1: granted the touchdown and the Steelers were granted the victory.

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Speaker 1: There was no video replay in nineteen seventy two. Nor

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Speaker 1: frankly Is any of the video or film conclusive even today,

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Speaker 1: even from people who've seen it thousands of times. F Anko.

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Speaker 1: Harris is passing is obviously a tragedy to his family

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Speaker 1: and his fans and his sport. But what elevates this

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Speaker 1: story to almost unbelievable as this That play occurred on

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Speaker 1: December twenty three, two, the fiftieth anniversary of the so

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Speaker 1: called Immaculate Reception, is this Friday. On Saturday, the Steelers

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Speaker 1: were to celebrate that anniversary and retire Frank o'harris's uniform

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Speaker 1: number thirty two, only the third number retirement in their

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Speaker 1: franchise history. That ceremony will go on as scheduled, but

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Speaker 1: it will turn from celebration to memorial. Tens of millions

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Speaker 1: of dollars in these returns that were claimed without adequate

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Speaker 1: substantiation What he is in Trump's tax returns, per Congressman

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Speaker 1: Lloyd Dogga to Texas after the House Ways and Means

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Speaker 1: Committee voted to release them last night, next to no

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Speaker 1: receipts for deductions, He says, no data, no evidence in fact,

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Speaker 1: that the I R S ever completed an audit of

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Speaker 1: Trump while he was president, which would itself be a

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Speaker 1: violation of its own policy, because all presidents are required

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Speaker 1: to be audited while in office. No evidence that it

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Speaker 1: even began an audit until the committee asked for Trump's returns,

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Speaker 1: and of course the I can't release them. I'm being audited.

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Speaker 1: Thing has been the fig leaf behind which Trump has

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Speaker 1: hidden his taxes since at least two thousand fifteen. When

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Speaker 1: they are all out there, there will be six years

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Speaker 1: of them, plus the returns of eight businesses affiliated with Trump.

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Speaker 1: It is al capone time, it is evidence. My point

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Speaker 1: here yesterday was that it was the evidence the January

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Speaker 1: six Committee had presented and not the criminal referrals that mattered.

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Speaker 1: And now punch Bowl News is reporting that the Committee

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Speaker 1: is sending Special Counsel Jack Smith It's evidence, all of

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Speaker 1: its evidence, all of Mark Meadows texts, transcripts of its

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Speaker 1: interviews with many of its one thousand different witnesses, especially

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Speaker 1: the ones who testified about the John Eastman fake collector scheme.

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Speaker 1: They started shipping last week, just in time for Christmas.

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Speaker 1: Prior to Counsel Smith's letter to the House Committee Chairman

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Speaker 1: Benny Thompson on December five, the Committee had been hesitant

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Speaker 1: to send its raw materials but apparently that has changed

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Speaker 1: and changed completely. The Hope Hicks text Smith the I

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Speaker 1: told Trump to tweet about not being violent Monday and

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Speaker 1: Tuesday before the insurrection Wednesday, and he refused Monday and

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Speaker 1: Tuesday text. Get that Smith, get it framed. I am

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Speaker 1: still suffering from Mueller PTSD, and I'm still not fully

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Speaker 1: convinced that Jack Smith's appointment might not still be just

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Speaker 1: another delay to run out the clock because too many

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Speaker 1: in government from both parties still believe the purpose of

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Speaker 1: their jobs is to protect anybody who will ever hold

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Speaker 1: their jobs from accountability, let alone prosecution. But this is

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Speaker 1: slightly encouraging. Meanwhile, the committee may have produced evidence of

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Speaker 1: yet another crime. I also mentioned this yesterday. There is

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Speaker 1: new evidence of another cover up of obstruction of justice

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Speaker 1: relative to the January six committee itself. The committee revealed

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Speaker 1: yesterday that a witness revealed her attorney told her she

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Speaker 1: could get away with not correcting her testimony even though

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Speaker 1: she thought it was incomplete. That she was told that

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Speaker 1: saying she couldn't recall was fine even if she could recall.

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Speaker 1: Last night, CNN identified the witness and the attorney. It

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Speaker 1: is none other than the former Trump Oval Office aide,

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Speaker 1: Cassidy Hutchinson, and the lawyer who we may soon be

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Speaker 1: able to call the ex lawyer, the one who told

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Speaker 1: her that, per the CNN report, is named Stefan Pasentino,

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Speaker 1: and Stephen Pasentino also worked in the Trump White House.

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Speaker 1: As believe it or not, the Presidential Ethics attorney. Now,

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Speaker 1: what he did might be illegal, but at least it

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Speaker 1: was truthful. What else would you expect from the Trump

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Speaker 1: ethics attorney. The Associated Press, meantime, hit another angle to

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Speaker 1: the committee hearing, and today the committee is expected to

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Speaker 1: release its full report. In short, the AP noting it's quiet.

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Speaker 1: It's too quiet. For all the damning words about Trump

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Speaker 1: on Monday, almost no Republicans said a thing. In his defense.

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Speaker 1: The AP reminds us that after the mari Lago documents search,

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Speaker 1: Mitch McConnell demanded quote an immediate and thorough explanation from

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Speaker 1: the FBI. But about the January six committees metaphorical impaling

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Speaker 1: of Trump, McConnell said, only the entire nation knows who

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Speaker 1: is responsible for that day. Even Josh Hawley, running man,

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Speaker 1: who demanded Merritt Garland resign after mari Lago, said nothing

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Speaker 1: about the Committee's criminal referrals on Trump. The News service

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Speaker 1: could get only one prominent Republican to go on the

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Speaker 1: record in defensive Trump on Monday, the Hapless Opportunist the

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Speaker 1: Least Stephanaic of New York. She called the committee unconstitutional

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Speaker 1: and illegitimate, but even she said nothing to suggest Trump

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Speaker 1: had been somehow maligned by it. Bigger picture last night,

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Speaker 1: one Republican senators voted to proceed on the omnibus spending bill,

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Speaker 1: even while the Republican House was railing against it. That

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Speaker 1: preliminary vote passed seventy five, and the bill includes the

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Speaker 1: Bipartisan Electoral Count Reform and Presidential Transition Improvement Act, which

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Speaker 1: would clean up the fuzziness of the original Electoral Count

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Speaker 1: Act of eight seven. Specifically, this one would specify that

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Speaker 1: the vice president's role in counting electors he is completely ceremonial.

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Speaker 1: It would also override potential variants of the Eastman plan

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Speaker 1: at the state level, requiring governors to certify only those

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Speaker 1: electors who match up with the popular vote in their states.

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Speaker 1: Would also smooth processes to challenge Eastman electoral slates in

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Speaker 1: the courts. As the impeccable Greg Sergeant of the Washington

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Speaker 1: Post put it, the GOP is quietly trump proofing our

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Speaker 1: system behind his back. Unfortunately, the omnibus buill does not

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Speaker 1: include a measure proposed to neutralize Schedule F, the plan

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Speaker 1: which would let Trump or any president fire all career

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Speaker 1: bureaucrats civil service staffers and replace them with political flunkeys.

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Speaker 1: And if you haven't seen it, There was also a

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Speaker 1: Washington Post column yesterday echoing what is now about a

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Speaker 1: dozen similar suggestions that have floated out of the far

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Speaker 1: right as the prospect rose again something mentioned here yesterday

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Speaker 1: of just what the trial of Donald Trump would look like.

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Speaker 1: That looming reality has forced conservatives to find an emergency

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Speaker 1: exit somewhere so that a Trump on trial would not

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Speaker 1: take them down with him. Their proposal the Agnew option.

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Speaker 1: If you are not old enough to have lived through this, Hi,

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Speaker 1: how are you Spiro? Ted Agnew. Richard Nixon's first vice president,

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Speaker 1: corrupted everything he touched except the Visiting Nurse Association. He

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Speaker 1: reportedly took cash bribes as governor of Maryland and cash

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Speaker 1: bribes in the White House as vice president. Rather than

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Speaker 1: put him on trial, but Justice Department offered him and

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Speaker 1: the Nixon administration a deal, a no contest plea to

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Speaker 1: one charge of violating federal X laws, a ten dollar fine,

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Speaker 1: his resignation as vice president, and his permanent retirement from

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Speaker 1: public office. Not that Trump would do this, but it

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Speaker 1: is clear conservatives are coalescing around the idea that if

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Speaker 1: justice dropped everything that could actually put Trump in jail

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Speaker 1: or required a trial, and simply asked for something like

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Speaker 1: a guilty plea on insurrection and an acknowledgement that section

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Speaker 1: three of the fourteenth Amendment would preclude Trump from seeking

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Speaker 1: office again because he had pleaded guilty to insurrection, we

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Speaker 1: would then be spared another long national nightmare. My first

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Speaker 1: thought was, sure, but couldn't Trump transfer his cult to

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Speaker 1: his son or some other derelict human being. On the

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Speaker 1: other hand, if he was convicted of everything from the

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Speaker 1: taxes to try and to overthrow the government, and he

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Speaker 1: had to spend the rest of his life in a

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Speaker 1: super max prison somewhere, couldn't Trump transfer his cult to

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Speaker 1: his son or some other derelict human being, like say

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Speaker 1: Congressman elect George Santos of New York. The chairman of

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Speaker 1: the Nassau County Republicans, has even said now that the

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Speaker 1: fact that Santos apparently made up everything about his resume

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Speaker 1: except his birthdate is quote serious, and the Democrat he

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Speaker 1: beat has called for Santos to resign. Of more relevance

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Speaker 1: silence from those whom Santos could take down with him,

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Speaker 1: the Republicans who loudly endorsed him and now look complicit

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Speaker 1: in the fraud. Among them longtime moderate New York Republican

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Speaker 1: Governor George Pataki, Republican candidate for Governor of New York

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Speaker 1: Lee's Elden, Congresswoman Stephanic, the Nassau County Police Benevolent Association,

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Speaker 1: the New York Post newspaper, Congressman Ronnie Jackson of Texas,

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Speaker 1: and best of all of all those who endorse this idiot,

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Speaker 1: the presumptive Speaker of the House, Kevin McCarthy. And all

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Speaker 1: day yesterday I kept thinking of just one thing. They

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Speaker 1: helped George Santos, George Santos, they helped him. George Santos helpers,

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Speaker 1: Santos helpers, Santos helper, Santos L helper, Santos L helper.

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Speaker 1: If you know, you know so, it's that time again

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Speaker 1: for the daily roundup of the miscrants, morons, and Dunning

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Speaker 1: Krueger effects specimens who constitute today's worst persons in the

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Speaker 1: world Lebronze. The website media It higher an idiot named

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Speaker 1: Isaac Shore away from the Conservative National Review. One of

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Speaker 1: his first stories for mediaite was about the Elon Musk

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Speaker 1: Twitter suspensions. Shore wrote that one of the victims of

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Speaker 1: Musk's rage was quote John Mastodon, the founder of a

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Speaker 1: competing social media company named after himself. I'll just repeat that,

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Speaker 1: John Mastodon, the founder of a competing social media company

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Speaker 1: named after himself. Of course, what it said in the

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Speaker 1: tweet was joined Mastodon. This kid, sure, like all standard conservatives,

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Speaker 1: didn't understand something and instead of asking or grown up,

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Speaker 1: he just made up whatever sounded good to him. John Mastodon.

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Speaker 1: My family name is Mastodon. This over here, this is

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Speaker 1: my cousin stand Elephant. No, we're not related to the

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Speaker 1: former head of the European Union, Donald Tusk. John mastad

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Speaker 1: On our runner up. Speaking of Mastodon's. James Dolan the

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Speaker 1: owner of Madison Square Garden, the New York Knicks the

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Speaker 1: New York Rangers. He has rivals to be the worst

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Speaker 1: owner in sports and entertainment, but not when it comes

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Speaker 1: to hands on pettiness. A woman named Kelly Conlin says

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Speaker 1: she took her daughter to Radio City in New York,

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Speaker 1: which Dolan and Madison Square Garden also own. They were

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Speaker 1: part of a girl Scout group going to see the

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Speaker 1: Rocketts and their Christmas spectacular, which, by the way, is

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Speaker 1: advertised here in New York approximately every seventy three seconds. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: they went through the metal detectors at Radio City, which

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Speaker 1: is when she was stopped by security and told she

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Speaker 1: could not enter the facility. They let her daughter go

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Speaker 1: in with the other Scout moms, but Ms Conlin says

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Speaker 1: they told her that facial recognition technology had identified her

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Speaker 1: and she was not permitted to enter because is she

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Speaker 1: works for a New Jersey based law firm representing somebody

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Speaker 1: who had a personal injury lawsuit against the restaurant that

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Speaker 1: is somehow part of Madison Square Garden. Conlin can't figure

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Speaker 1: this out. The lawsuit is being handled by her firm's

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Speaker 1: New York office. She works in Jersey. She's got nothing

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Speaker 1: to do with it. Yet. A spokesman for MSG confirms

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Speaker 1: nobody working for that law firm is admitted to see

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Speaker 1: the Rockettes, the Rangers, or the Knicks. Given how Jim

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Speaker 1: Dolan has driven the Rockets, the Rangers and the Knicks

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Speaker 1: into the ground. It could have been worse for Ms Conlin.

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Speaker 1: They could have led her in, But our winner, Sean Hannity,

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Speaker 1: the folks at TPM Talking Points Memo phoned him about

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Speaker 1: his role in the insurrection, texts of the former chief

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Speaker 1: of staff for Trump, Mark Meadows. Hannity's reply, number one,

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Speaker 1: You're not allowed to get my number. You knew the

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Speaker 1: rules and you're bidden care. Let me translate that into English.

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Speaker 1: Number one, You're not allowed to get my number. You

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Speaker 1: knew the rules and you didn't care. Yes, I believe

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Speaker 1: it's a law, a federal law eighteen US Code three

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Speaker 1: three seven. Anybody getting Sean Hannity's phone number is subject

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Speaker 1: to a penalty of not more than seven hours in

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Speaker 1: a holding cell with Greg Gutfeld. You're not allowed to

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Speaker 1: get my number. I was flashed back. I've been having

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Speaker 1: a lot of these flashbacks lately, Doctor to Hannity's old

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Speaker 1: Fox colleague Bill O'Reilly. Bill O'Reilly used to have a

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Speaker 1: radio show too, before the Lufa's and the Falafels of

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Speaker 1: history caught up with him. One day, a provocateur called

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Speaker 1: in identified himself as Mike, and he told Billow quote,

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Speaker 1: I'd like to listen to you during the day and

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Speaker 1: I think Keith Olberman show, at which point O'Reilly disconnected

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Speaker 1: the call and went into a tirade. Mike is he's

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Speaker 1: a gone guy. You know, we we have your phone numbers,

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Speaker 1: by the way, So if you're listening, Mike, we have

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Speaker 1: your phone number and we're going to turn it over

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Speaker 1: to Fox Security and you'll be getting a little visit.

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Speaker 1: Mike is going to get in big trouble because we're

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Speaker 1: not gonna play around when you call us ladies and gentlemen.

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Speaker 1: Just so you know, we do have your phone number,

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Speaker 1: and if you say anything untoward up scene or anything

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Speaker 1: like that, Fox Security will contact your local authorities. Dill

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Speaker 1: o'reiley believed that Fox could send the cops to punish

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Speaker 1: people callers who said things he didn't like on his

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Speaker 1: radio show, just like Hannity thinks you're not allowed to

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Speaker 1: get his phone number. It always pleased me that when

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Speaker 1: they finally fired Bill O'Reilly after the three thousand harassment

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Speaker 1: case or whatever it was, Billow was escorted out of

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Speaker 1: the Fox headquarters down the street from me by Fox security, Sean,

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Speaker 1: you're not allowed to get my number. Watch yourself, I

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Speaker 1: have facial recognition. To Hannity, Today's worst person in the World.

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Speaker 1: Still ahead on Countdown, the rumor within NBC universal that

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Speaker 1: things are going so badly at MSNBC that they may

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Speaker 1: sell it or shutter it. I had another one of

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Speaker 1: those flashbacks. I went back to the day in two

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Speaker 1: thousand nine when things are going so well at MSNBC

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Speaker 1: that they actually wanted to sell it or shutter it

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Speaker 1: because the chairman's mother was a fan of Fox News.

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Speaker 1: No seriously. First, in each edition of Countdown, we feature

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Speaker 1: a dog in need you can help. Every dog has

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Speaker 1: its day. Two things to mention. First, it is unbelievable.

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Speaker 1: There are now twenty seven dogs on the kill list

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Speaker 1: at the New York City Pound. The NYC a c

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Speaker 1: C Happy Holidays, reminding you of Elaine Boosler's offer to

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Speaker 1: cover ordinary expenses for a year if you save one

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Speaker 1: of them by adopting their bios on my Twitter feed

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Speaker 1: for dogs. Also, though, a big shepherd named Grizzly arrived

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Speaker 1: just last Thursday in the pound at DeVore, California. He's

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Speaker 1: five years old, injured, They're already ready to kill him

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Speaker 1: because he's acting stressed as if they deliberately can't understand

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Speaker 1: cause and effect. Pledges to help a rescue group save

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Speaker 1: Grizzly are urgently needed. My tweet about him is also

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Speaker 1: at tom Jumbo Grumbo on Twitter. I thank you, and

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Speaker 1: Grizzly thanks you. This is Countdown with Keith Olberman. So

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Speaker 1: a programming announcement. Now, this is the planned holiday schedule.

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Speaker 1: I am taking the next week off and we will

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Speaker 1: be back with a new episode next Thursday, that is December.

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Speaker 1: If in the interim something else happens, like Elon Musk

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Speaker 1: being the planet, or Trump getting frog marched at Marilago

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Speaker 1: or whatever, of course I will put out a special

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Speaker 1: edition and if you are subscribing to this it will

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Speaker 1: download automatically on your device. You should excuse the expression.

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Speaker 1: So now to the number two story on the Countdown

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Speaker 1: on my favorite topic, me and things I promised not

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Speaker 1: to tell. And this is not the anniversary of this event,

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Speaker 1: and in fact happened over the summer, but I was

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Speaker 1: reminded of it yesterday when somebody who knows told me

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Speaker 1: that things are going so poorly at NBC News that

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Speaker 1: one of the things floating around NBC Universal corporate management

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Speaker 1: half seriously at this point is to sell, among other things,

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Speaker 1: MSNBC or just close MSNBC down. That rang a few bells,

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Speaker 1: so here goes. Often it happens in television that there

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Speaker 1: are events so traumatic that the cliche about your life

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Speaker 1: flashing before your eyes does not apply, but an equally

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Speaker 1: hackneyed one about your career flashing before your eyes might.

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Speaker 1: The executive producer of our MSNBC newscast Countdown, Izzy Povich,

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Speaker 1: and I were on the grown up elevator to the

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Speaker 1: office of NBC President Jeff Zucker on the fifty second

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Speaker 1: floor of thirty Rock in New York, Summoned there by

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Speaker 1: some garbled message from MSNBC president Phil Griffin about MSNBC

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Speaker 1: being taken off the air, I was mumbling to Izzy,

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Speaker 1: sundry imprecations and reminiscences, eight freaking months is we spent

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Speaker 1: twelve freaking months forcing them to create meadows showed last

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Speaker 1: eight months, all the crap prompter practice, getting her over

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Speaker 1: her fears, rockets past CNN only eight months of show

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Speaker 1: and now it's all gone. Izzy reminded me it was

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Speaker 1: not just Rachel's show that was threatened, which was why

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Speaker 1: poor Court Harson from Hardball was already upstairs along with

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Speaker 1: poor Ed Schultz and Phil Griffin at Rachel's execut at,

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Speaker 1: a producer, Bill Wolf, and some clown from Morning Joe,

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Speaker 1: and a couple of other MSNBC executives and us. I know,

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Speaker 1: I know, I did the line from the drunken Irishman

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Speaker 1: from Hitchcock's The Birds, complete with the bad accent. It's

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Speaker 1: the end of the world, I said, Jeff Emil is

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Speaker 1: going to take MSNBC off the air. I didn't need

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Speaker 1: any of my overwrought visions from two years earlier of

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Speaker 1: the future of liberal news commentary falling out the NBC

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Speaker 1: window to its death on the rink. This was the

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Speaker 1: real thing. The chairman of General Electric was threatening to

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Speaker 1: open the window himself, throw us out the window himself,

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Speaker 1: and then race down to the pavement to stomp on

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Speaker 1: our dying remains himself. Poor Ed Schultz heard Jeff Zucker

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Speaker 1: say those words, and he had screwed up his face

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Speaker 1: and tilted his head like a puppy hearing a car crash.

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Speaker 1: He had not believed it the first time. He had

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Speaker 1: not believed it the second time. Zucker said it a

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Speaker 1: third time. Emilt going to take MSNBC off the ff

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Speaker 1: ing air at, Schultz groaned. After weeks of Griffin's coaxing,

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Speaker 1: he had finally just moved from Nebraska to New York

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Speaker 1: the preceding weekend, yet he was still, somehow only the

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Speaker 1: second most strung out person in the room. You, Zucker,

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Speaker 1: shouted at me, You're the smartest one in the room.

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Speaker 1: What the f do we do now? I'll confess I

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Speaker 1: was shaken by this because it appeared for once that

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Speaker 1: Zucker was not being sarcastic. I had never before seen

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Speaker 1: him flush nor flustered. This was a guy who wore

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Speaker 1: fleece in July. Now he was beat red and sweating.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes he knew what he was doing, and, as his

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Speaker 1: opposition to hiring Mattow had proved, sometimes he didn't know

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Speaker 1: what he was doing. But he always acted as the

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Speaker 1: most confident man in the galaxy. But now he literally

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Speaker 1: had no clue what to do next. And he not

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Speaker 1: only could not ignore my advice, he desperately needed it.

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Speaker 1: This situation and that color on his case. We're almost

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Speaker 1: worth watching the corporate fascists nuke my network, I asked

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Speaker 1: the sucker, to explain what happened. You God, Dad, well

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Speaker 1: know what happened. Zucker moved towards me, and I stood

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Speaker 1: up and I told him I would see myself out.

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Speaker 1: He stopped, remembering that he did indeed actually need my help.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I apologize. This isn't rational, this is this

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Speaker 1: is I melt. Last week sometime Bill O'Reilly snapped. He

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Speaker 1: told Murdach he wasn't gonna take any more of what

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Speaker 1: you were saying about him on the air. So he

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Speaker 1: did a piece last night accusing GE of manufacturing the

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Speaker 1: components that been used in roadside bombs that were built

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Speaker 1: in a rand to kill Americans in Iraq, which is

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Speaker 1: which is true? Legally, that's legally true. They found roadside

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Speaker 1: bombs that had like thirty year old GE transistors or

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Speaker 1: or TV tubes from nineteen fifty four or is something

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Speaker 1: in them? Legally, g E did manufacture components that were

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Speaker 1: used in roadside bombs that were built in I ran

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Speaker 1: to kill Americans in Iraq. So O'Reilly puts this on

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Speaker 1: his fffing show as a last story, and then Fox

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Speaker 1: sent two camera crews in this little crap. Producer from

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Speaker 1: a Riley Show, Jesse water something to stake Immilt out

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Speaker 1: and chase him around the GE shareholders meeting in Charlotte.

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Speaker 1: Zucker finally came up for air, and I jumped in,

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Speaker 1: why didn't m L have six camera crews to stake

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Speaker 1: out the two Fox crews and chase them around in Charlotte?

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Speaker 1: I mean, isn't that one of our news hubs Charlotte

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Speaker 1: doesn't m L own like twenty camera crews? There? He

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Speaker 1: bring a camera crew, you'll bring two camera crews. Zucker

426
00:28:38,035 --> 00:28:40,795
Speaker 1: started to not like me again. Now you suggest that

427
00:28:40,875 --> 00:28:43,355
Speaker 1: where were you in al I never mind, it doesn't matter.

428
00:28:44,195 --> 00:28:46,795
Speaker 1: mL says, if there's one more story on Bill O'Reilly

429
00:28:46,795 --> 00:28:50,835
Speaker 1: about GE manufacturing components for roadside bombs inter rack, he's

430
00:28:50,875 --> 00:28:55,555
Speaker 1: taking MSNBC off the air immediately. It'll just be twenty

431
00:28:55,555 --> 00:28:59,115
Speaker 1: four hours of lock up. And I'm fired and you're fired.

432
00:28:59,555 --> 00:29:01,995
Speaker 1: And then he pointed at Chris Matthews, producer, and Matthews

433
00:29:02,075 --> 00:29:04,475
Speaker 1: is fired. And he pointed at poor Ed Sheltz and

434
00:29:04,475 --> 00:29:07,875
Speaker 1: you're are fired, and Ed whimpered, so smart asked, what

435
00:29:07,915 --> 00:29:11,715
Speaker 1: the f do we do? I feigned all the nonchalance

436
00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:14,675
Speaker 1: I could feign if I could have lit a shroot

437
00:29:14,835 --> 00:29:17,555
Speaker 1: by striking a match on the soul of my boot.

438
00:29:17,715 --> 00:29:23,275
Speaker 1: I would have it's manageable. But Jeff, why is mL

439
00:29:23,475 --> 00:29:26,395
Speaker 1: so worked up about what O'Reilly said about him? Only

440
00:29:26,435 --> 00:29:29,755
Speaker 1: O'Reilly's nutjob viewers actually believe any of that crap. Nobody

441
00:29:29,755 --> 00:29:33,955
Speaker 1: had GE, nobody investing in GE could possibly believe we're

442
00:29:33,995 --> 00:29:41,755
Speaker 1: building components for roadside bombs. Zucker inhaled deeply. M L's

443
00:29:41,835 --> 00:29:45,755
Speaker 1: mother believes it. All the heads in the room turned

444
00:29:45,795 --> 00:29:49,155
Speaker 1: toward the president of NBC. Mrs m L back in

445
00:29:49,235 --> 00:29:54,435
Speaker 1: Cincinnati is a devoted Bill O'Reilly viewer watches him every night,

446
00:29:54,715 --> 00:29:58,635
Speaker 1: sees this, calls him, says, Sonny, why are you manufacturing

447
00:29:58,635 --> 00:30:01,075
Speaker 1: components that were used in roadside bombs built in a

448
00:30:01,155 --> 00:30:06,075
Speaker 1: rand to kill Americans in Iraq? I had not expected that,

449
00:30:07,515 --> 00:30:10,915
Speaker 1: I said to Zooker. So so he'll really burn what

450
00:30:11,355 --> 00:30:15,035
Speaker 1: two million a year in profits just between Rachel and me?

451
00:30:15,595 --> 00:30:20,435
Speaker 1: Because he's mom watches Bill O'Reilly. Zucker got angry again.

452
00:30:20,715 --> 00:30:23,115
Speaker 1: You bet your effing ass he will now you said

453
00:30:23,155 --> 00:30:26,355
Speaker 1: it was manageable. How how the he do we manage it? Ulverman,

454
00:30:27,355 --> 00:30:31,555
Speaker 1: just a minute, how old is she? Zucker summoned all

455
00:30:31,675 --> 00:30:36,795
Speaker 1: his annoyance. How old is who m ELTs mother? How

456
00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:40,515
Speaker 1: old is she? Jeff Zucker was really annoyed. How the

457
00:30:40,555 --> 00:30:43,795
Speaker 1: eff should I know? You're missing the point? I had

458
00:30:43,875 --> 00:30:46,275
Speaker 1: him really worked up, nearly to the boiling point. It

459
00:30:46,355 --> 00:30:51,595
Speaker 1: was great, guess, Zucker spluttered, I don't know. He's in

460
00:30:51,635 --> 00:30:55,555
Speaker 1: his mid fifties. She's gotta be eighty nineties something. I

461
00:30:55,635 --> 00:30:59,315
Speaker 1: stifled to fake yawn. Yeah, you're right, probably closer to

462
00:30:59,435 --> 00:31:01,755
Speaker 1: ninety now that I think of it. So the problem

463
00:31:01,835 --> 00:31:06,835
Speaker 1: is she watches O'Reilly. She tells him what's on Fox?

464
00:31:07,515 --> 00:31:10,835
Speaker 1: What O'Reilly saying about Ge? Well, I think you have

465
00:31:10,875 --> 00:31:12,715
Speaker 1: a simple solution. I'd say the first thing you do

466
00:31:12,795 --> 00:31:14,555
Speaker 1: is you send over a couple of big guys to

467
00:31:14,595 --> 00:31:17,035
Speaker 1: her house and you pull the freaking cable out of

468
00:31:17,075 --> 00:31:22,795
Speaker 1: the wall. Zucker actually gasped. My producer, is Hepovich unsuccessfully

469
00:31:22,795 --> 00:31:25,715
Speaker 1: stifled a laugh, and I saw Rachel crack a smile.

470
00:31:26,275 --> 00:31:31,275
Speaker 1: Zucker regained himself. This isn't funny, Alderman, I crossed my legs. Oh,

471
00:31:31,315 --> 00:31:34,995
Speaker 1: it's a little funny. And anyway, it's not essential. If

472
00:31:35,035 --> 00:31:37,315
Speaker 1: the problem is email is threatening to take the network

473
00:31:37,355 --> 00:31:40,995
Speaker 1: off there because O'Reilly is avenging himself against me by

474
00:31:41,035 --> 00:31:45,275
Speaker 1: attacking him and attacking ge. The short term solution is easy,

475
00:31:45,555 --> 00:31:48,675
Speaker 1: and in fact, it is manageable. The long term solution

476
00:31:48,915 --> 00:31:51,435
Speaker 1: that's not easy, and that's not manageable. But the short

477
00:31:51,555 --> 00:31:54,115
Speaker 1: term one that's simple. Rest of this week, next week,

478
00:31:54,235 --> 00:31:57,315
Speaker 1: maybe the week after that, even we just don't mention

479
00:31:57,475 --> 00:32:04,595
Speaker 1: Fox News on MSNBC. Something resembling a smile crossed Zooker

480
00:32:04,755 --> 00:32:07,075
Speaker 1: his face. It made him look a little less like

481
00:32:07,115 --> 00:32:09,955
Speaker 1: a lizard person and more like a monkey with glasses.

482
00:32:10,715 --> 00:32:15,915
Speaker 1: You do that forever? No, not forever. I would not

483
00:32:15,995 --> 00:32:20,355
Speaker 1: do that, I said to Bias time. Yes, but remember

484
00:32:20,435 --> 00:32:22,355
Speaker 1: who was it who was in my office last winter

485
00:32:22,475 --> 00:32:24,515
Speaker 1: telling me that I should go on the air and

486
00:32:24,515 --> 00:32:27,475
Speaker 1: and just to f with Fox? I should ask why

487
00:32:27,555 --> 00:32:30,635
Speaker 1: Rupert Murdoch was still running a huge international media company

488
00:32:30,675 --> 00:32:34,235
Speaker 1: like News Corp, despite all the reports that he's suffering

489
00:32:34,275 --> 00:32:37,115
Speaker 1: from dementia, even though there haven't been any reports that

490
00:32:37,115 --> 00:32:40,955
Speaker 1: he's suffering from dementia. For everybody's sake, here, who was

491
00:32:40,995 --> 00:32:44,555
Speaker 1: that again who told me to do that? Zuker's goodwill

492
00:32:44,675 --> 00:32:47,555
Speaker 1: was gone again? Obviously that was me. What's your point?

493
00:32:48,435 --> 00:32:52,915
Speaker 1: My point is, we built this new brand of ours organically,

494
00:32:52,915 --> 00:32:55,715
Speaker 1: and a couple of themes, a couple of statements of principle,

495
00:32:55,795 --> 00:32:58,595
Speaker 1: and one of them is to use your words just

496
00:32:58,835 --> 00:33:02,635
Speaker 1: to f with Fox. If we don't f with Fox

497
00:33:02,715 --> 00:33:04,515
Speaker 1: for a couple of weeks at the start of the summer,

498
00:33:04,515 --> 00:33:08,035
Speaker 1: who is gonna care. Who's gonna notice? But like after

499
00:33:08,435 --> 00:33:11,835
Speaker 1: two weeks, three weeks, our viewers are gonna notice, and

500
00:33:11,875 --> 00:33:14,555
Speaker 1: the TV writers are gonna notice, and then the crap

501
00:33:14,595 --> 00:33:17,715
Speaker 1: will hit from every direction. You can think of temporary

502
00:33:17,795 --> 00:33:21,715
Speaker 1: freeze on mentioning Fox, then mentioning O'Reilly and mentioning Murdock. Fine,

503
00:33:21,995 --> 00:33:25,195
Speaker 1: permanent freeze. Might as well let him l turn us

504
00:33:25,195 --> 00:33:28,995
Speaker 1: off in the morning. After all, I don't think Zucker

505
00:33:29,075 --> 00:33:31,835
Speaker 1: actually heard the last part about him turning us off.

506
00:33:31,875 --> 00:33:37,115
Speaker 1: After all, the lack of color was returning to his face. Okay, breathe,

507
00:33:37,395 --> 00:33:41,915
Speaker 1: he kept saying to himself. Breathe, breathe, Okay, breathe. He

508
00:33:41,995 --> 00:33:44,715
Speaker 1: looked at me and nodded. He pointed at Izzy and

509
00:33:44,755 --> 00:33:46,955
Speaker 1: at Phil Griffin and me, you and you and you

510
00:33:47,395 --> 00:33:50,515
Speaker 1: and I will we will talk tomorrow, maybe tonight, and

511
00:33:50,555 --> 00:33:54,155
Speaker 1: we'll all meet again next week. Until then, nothing about Fox, anybody,

512
00:33:54,155 --> 00:33:58,435
Speaker 1: Are we clear? Nothing on the air about Fox. Silence

513
00:33:58,475 --> 00:34:01,635
Speaker 1: in the room, Then the assorted noises of people rising,

514
00:34:01,675 --> 00:34:06,515
Speaker 1: mixed with attempts to resuscitate poor Ed Schultz. Somebody Matthew's guy,

515
00:34:06,555 --> 00:34:09,315
Speaker 1: Harson I think, was almost at the door out of

516
00:34:09,395 --> 00:34:11,635
Speaker 1: Zooker's office, an office so big that it was to

517
00:34:11,635 --> 00:34:15,035
Speaker 1: steal the Ring Lardner line, the size of the Yale Bowl,

518
00:34:15,275 --> 00:34:19,315
Speaker 1: but with lamps. And then a voice spoke up, quietly

519
00:34:19,395 --> 00:34:24,995
Speaker 1: but firmly, Excuse me. It was Rachel Maddow. Excuse me.

520
00:34:25,795 --> 00:34:28,475
Speaker 1: I will not have the content of my show dictated

521
00:34:28,515 --> 00:34:32,995
Speaker 1: by any corporations, including the one I work for. Remember

522
00:34:33,035 --> 00:34:35,475
Speaker 1: this is June two nine. She still felt that way then,

523
00:34:35,995 --> 00:34:38,675
Speaker 1: and especially one I don't work for. I will walk

524
00:34:38,675 --> 00:34:41,395
Speaker 1: out first. I cannot have the audience wondering what else

525
00:34:41,515 --> 00:34:43,835
Speaker 1: I have not told them. I don't do a lot

526
00:34:43,875 --> 00:34:45,515
Speaker 1: about Fox on my show, but if there is a

527
00:34:45,555 --> 00:34:48,155
Speaker 1: story about Fox, I will not honor this freeze. I

528
00:34:48,195 --> 00:34:50,755
Speaker 1: will report that story. And if I'm prevented from reporting

529
00:34:50,795 --> 00:34:55,875
Speaker 1: that story, I will leave. Whereupon she left, Zucker barked

530
00:34:55,995 --> 00:35:00,195
Speaker 1: Phil all Rouman, is he stay? When the rest of

531
00:35:00,235 --> 00:35:03,235
Speaker 1: the room had cleared, Zucker blew air out of his

532
00:35:03,275 --> 00:35:06,555
Speaker 1: mouth as if it were smoke. He gestured violently at

533
00:35:06,595 --> 00:35:08,275
Speaker 1: me with his right arm. I told you she was

534
00:35:08,315 --> 00:35:10,395
Speaker 1: a mistake. You didn't listen to me. I told you.

535
00:35:10,555 --> 00:35:13,195
Speaker 1: Now she's your problem. All this is your problem. Get

536
00:35:13,195 --> 00:35:16,795
Speaker 1: her back on the reservation or else. Now I had

537
00:35:16,875 --> 00:35:20,475
Speaker 1: run out of goodwill and jokes. Oh, I'll get her

538
00:35:20,475 --> 00:35:22,395
Speaker 1: back on the reservation, Jeff. But if you think this

539
00:35:22,475 --> 00:35:25,235
Speaker 1: is my problem, just think about what happens if he

540
00:35:25,315 --> 00:35:27,915
Speaker 1: really does take us off the air, or if it

541
00:35:27,995 --> 00:35:31,035
Speaker 1: just gets out that he threatened to take us off

542
00:35:31,075 --> 00:35:38,355
Speaker 1: the air because his mother didn't like what Fox said

543
00:35:38,395 --> 00:35:44,115
Speaker 1: about him. That's my problem. Uh, that's your problem. And

544
00:35:44,235 --> 00:35:47,475
Speaker 1: it's the problem of the CEO of the freaking sixth

545
00:35:47,595 --> 00:35:51,675
Speaker 1: largest corporation in the world, who makes his business decisions

546
00:35:51,715 --> 00:35:55,755
Speaker 1: involving hundreds of millions of dollars of profits based on

547
00:35:55,915 --> 00:36:01,515
Speaker 1: what his mother says. At this point, Phil Griffin managed

548
00:36:01,555 --> 00:36:04,155
Speaker 1: to pull Zooker away, and Izzy and I made for

549
00:36:04,155 --> 00:36:08,115
Speaker 1: the door, saying nothing until we were in the elevator. Finally,

550
00:36:08,155 --> 00:36:10,955
Speaker 1: she asked, what are you going to do about Rachel?

551
00:36:11,755 --> 00:36:14,355
Speaker 1: I looked straight ahead. I have depth reception issues while

552
00:36:14,395 --> 00:36:18,075
Speaker 1: traveling forward, backwards, up or down the I I know

553
00:36:18,115 --> 00:36:19,795
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do about her, but I got an idea.

554
00:36:20,275 --> 00:36:22,195
Speaker 1: I mean, the only person she was really talking to

555
00:36:22,275 --> 00:36:26,235
Speaker 1: in there was herself. This isn't a brand new surprise

556
00:36:26,355 --> 00:36:29,835
Speaker 1: success for her anymore. This is successful. This is what

557
00:36:30,075 --> 00:36:33,795
Speaker 1: nine ten months she's successful. She said she was once

558
00:36:33,835 --> 00:36:37,115
Speaker 1: a dancing cell phone outside of cell phone store outside

559
00:36:37,115 --> 00:36:40,875
Speaker 1: of Boston. She ain't going back to that. I went

560
00:36:40,915 --> 00:36:43,355
Speaker 1: to talk to Rachel about an hour later and reassured her.

561
00:36:43,995 --> 00:36:46,795
Speaker 1: I mentioned that powerful as Fox was, they were not

562
00:36:46,795 --> 00:36:49,475
Speaker 1: going to be able to re invade Iraq by themselves,

563
00:36:49,995 --> 00:36:52,915
Speaker 1: and unless she moved it way closer than it had been,

564
00:36:52,955 --> 00:36:56,275
Speaker 1: nobody would cross her censorship line. And I said, just

565
00:36:56,435 --> 00:36:58,915
Speaker 1: give me as much time as the French government took

566
00:36:59,235 --> 00:37:02,835
Speaker 1: before fleeing during the Nazi advance in n I said,

567
00:37:02,995 --> 00:37:05,155
Speaker 1: give me, what was it, thirty three days? Give me

568
00:37:05,195 --> 00:37:07,635
Speaker 1: thirty three days. If we aren't back where we were

569
00:37:07,715 --> 00:37:10,995
Speaker 1: this morning, we can both quit on the air. I

570
00:37:10,995 --> 00:37:14,435
Speaker 1: mean that would be fun, right. Three nights later, well

571
00:37:14,475 --> 00:37:18,315
Speaker 1: after midnight on a Friday, my NBC issued BlackBerry buzzed

572
00:37:18,315 --> 00:37:22,355
Speaker 1: with a quick email from Rachel Maddow. Hey, she wrote,

573
00:37:22,675 --> 00:37:26,035
Speaker 1: don't necessarily quote me because I'm really drunk, but just

574
00:37:26,115 --> 00:37:28,475
Speaker 1: make the best deal you can for us. I trust you.

575
00:37:28,715 --> 00:37:30,475
Speaker 1: We don't need to do Fox all the time. I

576
00:37:30,515 --> 00:37:33,395
Speaker 1: never do Fox stories anyway. I just had to say that,

577
00:37:33,675 --> 00:37:36,075
Speaker 1: and this is the best platform we will ever have.

578
00:37:37,275 --> 00:37:39,675
Speaker 1: Well she was right, at least for the time being.

579
00:37:39,995 --> 00:37:41,675
Speaker 1: A couple of weeks later, I had to sneak in

580
00:37:41,755 --> 00:37:44,395
Speaker 1: a script that blasted Fox, and at ten thirty at

581
00:37:44,395 --> 00:37:46,515
Speaker 1: home that night, I got a call from a drunken

582
00:37:46,515 --> 00:37:49,995
Speaker 1: Phil Griffin shouting into the phone, I have a family.

583
00:37:51,355 --> 00:37:55,635
Speaker 1: Zooker had to go meet with Roger Ales secretly inside

584
00:37:55,715 --> 00:37:58,715
Speaker 1: thirty Rock and I hope they remember to clean the

585
00:37:58,795 --> 00:38:02,155
Speaker 1: room afterwards. And m l even had to meet with Murdoch.

586
00:38:02,715 --> 00:38:06,155
Speaker 1: And then, happily, some idiot g executive decided to boast

587
00:38:06,235 --> 00:38:09,075
Speaker 1: to The New York Times about getting us little talent

588
00:38:09,195 --> 00:38:12,875
Speaker 1: children under control and a big deal with the executives

589
00:38:12,915 --> 00:38:15,435
Speaker 1: over at Fox and how they'd settled everything, which blew

590
00:38:15,515 --> 00:38:18,675
Speaker 1: up the whole deal instantly, because the moment the deal

591
00:38:18,715 --> 00:38:23,395
Speaker 1: went public, NBC looked so stupid, and even NBC News

592
00:38:23,475 --> 00:38:27,275
Speaker 1: was now risked. The only point of the whole thing

593
00:38:27,355 --> 00:38:29,515
Speaker 1: was to keep the Immelts and the Zookers and the

594
00:38:29,555 --> 00:38:32,315
Speaker 1: Griffins and the Ailes is from throwing us and our

595
00:38:32,355 --> 00:38:36,035
Speaker 1: little island of liberal commentary out of that window at

596
00:38:36,075 --> 00:38:39,635
Speaker 1: thirty Rock. But as Rachel Maddow and I would be

597
00:38:39,675 --> 00:38:43,875
Speaker 1: constantly reminded in the ensuing years, thirty Rock has a

598
00:38:43,995 --> 00:38:56,555
Speaker 1: lot of freaking windows. So that the day they almost

599
00:38:56,595 --> 00:38:59,435
Speaker 1: threw all of us out the window at thirty Rock

600
00:38:59,555 --> 00:39:03,315
Speaker 1: because Jeff Immelts mommy was a big bill O'Reilly fan,

601
00:39:03,915 --> 00:39:07,475
Speaker 1: that flash me back to that imagery out the window,

602
00:39:08,795 --> 00:39:11,115
Speaker 1: and that is what we will close the countdown with,

603
00:39:11,395 --> 00:39:16,715
Speaker 1: possibly James Thurber's most cutting, most prophetic story of American

604
00:39:16,835 --> 00:39:22,235
Speaker 1: fame without character, American adoration without any redeeming qualities. It

605
00:39:22,355 --> 00:39:26,795
Speaker 1: foretold everybody from Joe McCarthy to Donald Trump to Kanye West,

606
00:39:27,475 --> 00:39:44,515
Speaker 1: the greatest men in the world next to the master

607
00:39:44,835 --> 00:39:47,995
Speaker 1: the work of James Thurber. There is a short film

608
00:39:48,035 --> 00:39:51,515
Speaker 1: of this story. I don't think it really does it justice.

609
00:39:51,635 --> 00:39:55,155
Speaker 1: I don't think anything does it justice. Occasionally, real life

610
00:39:55,235 --> 00:39:58,715
Speaker 1: does do it justice. I've thought I've seen this story

611
00:39:58,875 --> 00:40:02,515
Speaker 1: playing out in real time in this country almost every

612
00:40:02,595 --> 00:40:07,435
Speaker 1: day for about seven years years. Sit back and relax,

613
00:40:08,755 --> 00:40:13,155
Speaker 1: if relaxes the right word for it for the Greatest

614
00:40:13,275 --> 00:40:19,715
Speaker 1: Man in the World by James Thurber. Looking back on

615
00:40:19,795 --> 00:40:22,555
Speaker 1: it now from the vantage point of nineteen forty, one

616
00:40:22,595 --> 00:40:25,155
Speaker 1: can only marvel that it had not happened long before

617
00:40:25,155 --> 00:40:28,635
Speaker 1: it did. The United States of America had been ever

618
00:40:28,715 --> 00:40:33,795
Speaker 1: since Kittie Hawk blindly constructing the elaborate petard by which,

619
00:40:33,835 --> 00:40:39,475
Speaker 1: sooner or later it must be hoist. It was inevitable

620
00:40:39,515 --> 00:40:41,715
Speaker 1: that someday there would come, roaring out of the skies

621
00:40:42,155 --> 00:40:46,875
Speaker 1: a national hero of insufficient intelligence, background, and character, successfully

622
00:40:46,915 --> 00:40:50,275
Speaker 1: to endure the mounting orgies of glory prepared for aviators

623
00:40:50,635 --> 00:40:53,795
Speaker 1: who stayed up for a long time or flew a

624
00:40:53,835 --> 00:40:59,315
Speaker 1: great distance. Both Lindberg and Bird, fortunately for national decorum

625
00:40:59,395 --> 00:41:03,555
Speaker 1: and international amity, had been gentleman. So had our other

626
00:41:03,595 --> 00:41:08,115
Speaker 1: famous aviators. They wore their laurels gracefully, withstood the awful

627
00:41:08,155 --> 00:41:12,475
Speaker 1: weather of publicity, married excellent women, usually fine family, and

628
00:41:12,675 --> 00:41:15,555
Speaker 1: quietly retired to private life and the enjoyment of their

629
00:41:15,675 --> 00:41:21,555
Speaker 1: varying fortunes. No untoward incidents on a worldwide scale marred

630
00:41:21,595 --> 00:41:24,595
Speaker 1: the perfection of their conduct on the perilous heights of fame.

631
00:41:25,995 --> 00:41:31,035
Speaker 1: The exception to the rule was, however, bound to occur,

632
00:41:31,875 --> 00:41:36,595
Speaker 1: and it did in July ninety seven when Jack Pal

633
00:41:37,195 --> 00:41:42,555
Speaker 1: Smirch erstwhile mechanics helper in a small garage in Westfield, Iowa,

634
00:41:42,955 --> 00:41:47,715
Speaker 1: flew a second hand, single notored breast Haven Dragonfly three

635
00:41:47,795 --> 00:41:55,635
Speaker 1: monoplane all the way around the world without stopping. Never

636
00:41:55,715 --> 00:41:57,955
Speaker 1: before in the history of aviation had such a flight

637
00:41:57,995 --> 00:42:01,315
Speaker 1: as Smirches even been dreamed of. No one had even

638
00:42:01,395 --> 00:42:05,875
Speaker 1: taken seriously the weird floating auxiliary gas tanks invention of

639
00:42:05,875 --> 00:42:10,155
Speaker 1: the mad New Hampshire professor of astronomy, Dr Charles Lewis Gresham,

640
00:42:10,235 --> 00:42:14,635
Speaker 1: upon which Smirch placed full reliance. When the garage worker,

641
00:42:15,115 --> 00:42:20,195
Speaker 1: slightly built, surly unprepossessing young men of twenty two appeared

642
00:42:20,235 --> 00:42:25,035
Speaker 1: at Roosevelt Field early in July n slowly chewing a

643
00:42:25,075 --> 00:42:29,755
Speaker 1: great quid of scrap tobacco, and announced nobody ain't seen

644
00:42:29,835 --> 00:42:34,635
Speaker 1: no flying yet. The newspapers touched briefly and satirically upon

645
00:42:34,835 --> 00:42:40,675
Speaker 1: his projected twenty five thousand mile flight. Aeronauticle and automotive

646
00:42:40,715 --> 00:42:43,955
Speaker 1: experts dismissed the idea, curtly, implying that it was a hoax.

647
00:42:44,355 --> 00:42:50,155
Speaker 1: The publicity stunt. The rusty battered second hand plane wouldn't go.

648
00:42:51,275 --> 00:42:57,475
Speaker 1: The Gresham auxiliary tanks wouldn't work. It was simply a

649
00:42:57,595 --> 00:43:03,155
Speaker 1: cheap joke. Smirch. However, after calling on a girl in

650
00:43:03,235 --> 00:43:06,115
Speaker 1: Brooklyn who worked in the flap folding department of a

651
00:43:06,235 --> 00:43:09,875
Speaker 1: large paper box factory, a girl whom he later described

652
00:43:09,875 --> 00:43:14,995
Speaker 1: as his sweet but duty climbed nonchalantly into his ridiculous

653
00:43:15,035 --> 00:43:19,915
Speaker 1: plane at dawn the memorable seventh of July, n spit

654
00:43:19,995 --> 00:43:23,075
Speaker 1: a curve of tobacco juice into the still air, and

655
00:43:23,155 --> 00:43:26,875
Speaker 1: took off, carrying with him only a gallon of bootleg

656
00:43:26,955 --> 00:43:33,155
Speaker 1: gin and six pounds of salami. When the garage boy

657
00:43:33,235 --> 00:43:35,635
Speaker 1: thundered out over the ocean, the papers were forced to

658
00:43:35,675 --> 00:43:39,555
Speaker 1: record in all seriousness that a mad, unknown young man

659
00:43:39,875 --> 00:43:43,955
Speaker 1: his name was variously misspelled, had actually set out upon

660
00:43:43,995 --> 00:43:47,195
Speaker 1: a preposterous attempt to span the world in a rickety

661
00:43:47,315 --> 00:43:51,475
Speaker 1: one engine contraption, trusting to the long distance refueling device

662
00:43:51,475 --> 00:43:56,035
Speaker 1: of a crazy school master. When nine days later, without

663
00:43:56,075 --> 00:44:00,355
Speaker 1: having stopped once, the tiny plane appeared above San Francisco Bay,

664
00:44:00,395 --> 00:44:03,195
Speaker 1: headed for New York, spluttering and choking, to be sure,

665
00:44:03,435 --> 00:44:07,835
Speaker 1: but still magnificent and miraculously aloft the headlines which long

666
00:44:07,955 --> 00:44:11,075
Speaker 1: since had crowded everything else off the front page. Even

667
00:44:11,115 --> 00:44:13,795
Speaker 1: the shooting of the Governor of Illinois by the Valetti

668
00:44:13,875 --> 00:44:18,715
Speaker 1: Gang swelled to unprecedented size, and the news stories began

669
00:44:18,715 --> 00:44:25,955
Speaker 1: to run to twenty five and thirty columns. It was noticeable, however,

670
00:44:26,395 --> 00:44:30,595
Speaker 1: that the accounts of the epoch making flight touched rather

671
00:44:30,835 --> 00:44:35,755
Speaker 1: lightly upon the aviator himself. This was not because the

672
00:44:35,835 --> 00:44:38,315
Speaker 1: facts about the hero as a man were too meager,

673
00:44:38,515 --> 00:44:44,315
Speaker 1: but because they were too complete. Reporters who had been

674
00:44:44,355 --> 00:44:47,395
Speaker 1: rushed out to Iowa when Smirch's plane was first sighted

675
00:44:47,395 --> 00:44:49,835
Speaker 1: over the ledge Lord French coast town of sair Lee

676
00:44:49,915 --> 00:44:52,835
Speaker 1: Lemaire to dig up the story of the great man's life,

677
00:44:52,955 --> 00:44:56,275
Speaker 1: had promptly discovered that the story of his life could

678
00:44:56,315 --> 00:45:00,555
Speaker 1: not be printed. His mother, a sullen short order cook

679
00:45:00,595 --> 00:45:02,755
Speaker 1: in a shack restaurant on the edge of a tourist's

680
00:45:02,835 --> 00:45:06,315
Speaker 1: camping ground near Westfield, met all inquiries as to her

681
00:45:06,355 --> 00:45:09,315
Speaker 1: son with an angry and the hell with him help

682
00:45:09,355 --> 00:45:13,515
Speaker 1: he drowns. His father appeared to be in jail somewhere

683
00:45:13,635 --> 00:45:18,835
Speaker 1: for stealing spotlights and lap robes from tourists automobiles. His

684
00:45:18,955 --> 00:45:22,555
Speaker 1: young brother, a weak minded lad, had but recently escaped

685
00:45:22,595 --> 00:45:25,395
Speaker 1: from the Preston, Iowa Reformatory, and was already wanted in

686
00:45:25,515 --> 00:45:28,635
Speaker 1: several Western towns where the theft of money order blanks

687
00:45:28,635 --> 00:45:33,635
Speaker 1: from post offices. These alarming discoveries were still piling up

688
00:45:33,635 --> 00:45:36,795
Speaker 1: at the very time that Pal Smirch, the greatest hero

689
00:45:36,995 --> 00:45:41,595
Speaker 1: of the twentieth century, blear eyed, dead for sleep, half starved,

690
00:45:41,995 --> 00:45:44,955
Speaker 1: was piloting his crazy junk heap high above the region

691
00:45:44,995 --> 00:45:47,355
Speaker 1: in which the lamentable story of his private life was

692
00:45:47,395 --> 00:45:50,835
Speaker 1: being unearthed, headed for New York and a greater glory

693
00:45:50,875 --> 00:45:56,635
Speaker 1: than any man of his time had ever known. The

694
00:45:56,955 --> 00:46:00,675
Speaker 1: necessity for printing some account in the papers of the

695
00:46:00,715 --> 00:46:04,195
Speaker 1: young man's career and personality had led to a remarkable

696
00:46:04,195 --> 00:46:07,715
Speaker 1: predict of It was, of course, impossible to reveal the facts,

697
00:46:08,395 --> 00:46:11,555
Speaker 1: for a tremendous popular feeling in favor of the young

698
00:46:11,635 --> 00:46:14,395
Speaker 1: hero had sprung up like a grass fire when he

699
00:46:14,435 --> 00:46:17,075
Speaker 1: was halfway across Europe on his flight around the globe.

700
00:46:17,755 --> 00:46:22,315
Speaker 1: He was therefore described as a modest, chap taciturn blonde,

701
00:46:22,795 --> 00:46:27,675
Speaker 1: popular with his friends, popular with girls. The only available

702
00:46:27,755 --> 00:46:30,555
Speaker 1: snapshot of Smirch, taken at the wheel of a phony

703
00:46:30,595 --> 00:46:33,675
Speaker 1: automobile in a cheap photo studio at an amusement park

704
00:46:33,995 --> 00:46:37,635
Speaker 1: was touched up so that the little vulgarian looked quite handsome.

705
00:46:38,715 --> 00:46:43,515
Speaker 1: His twisted leer was smoothed into a pleasant smile. The

706
00:46:43,555 --> 00:46:47,555
Speaker 1: truth was in this way kept from the youth's ecstatic compatriots.

707
00:46:47,875 --> 00:46:51,155
Speaker 1: They did not dream that the Smirch family was despised

708
00:46:51,635 --> 00:46:54,795
Speaker 1: and feared by its neighbors in the obscure Iowa town,

709
00:46:55,035 --> 00:46:59,475
Speaker 1: nor that the hero himself, because of numerous unsavory exploits,

710
00:46:59,635 --> 00:47:02,195
Speaker 1: had come to be regarded in Westfield as a nuisance

711
00:47:02,635 --> 00:47:07,755
Speaker 1: and a menace. Pal Smirch had, the reporters discovered, once

712
00:47:07,875 --> 00:47:11,675
Speaker 1: knife the principle of his high school, not mortally, to

713
00:47:11,715 --> 00:47:14,955
Speaker 1: be sure, but he had knifed him, and on another occasion,

714
00:47:15,195 --> 00:47:19,715
Speaker 1: surprised in the act of an stealing altarcloth from a church,

715
00:47:19,995 --> 00:47:22,515
Speaker 1: he had bashed the sexton over the head with a

716
00:47:22,595 --> 00:47:27,275
Speaker 1: pot of Easter lilies. For each of these offenses he

717
00:47:27,315 --> 00:47:32,475
Speaker 1: had served a sentence in the reformatory. Inwardly, the authorities,

718
00:47:32,515 --> 00:47:34,915
Speaker 1: both in New York and in Washington, prayed that an

719
00:47:34,995 --> 00:47:40,635
Speaker 1: understanding providence might, however awful, such a thing seemed, bring

720
00:47:40,755 --> 00:47:44,475
Speaker 1: disaster to the rusty, battered plane and its illustrious pilot,

721
00:47:44,555 --> 00:47:47,995
Speaker 1: who's unheard of flight had aroused the civilized world to

722
00:47:48,115 --> 00:47:52,875
Speaker 1: hosannas of hysterical praise. The authorities were convinced that the

723
00:47:52,955 --> 00:47:56,435
Speaker 1: character of the renowned aviator was such that the limelight

724
00:47:56,515 --> 00:47:59,835
Speaker 1: of adulation was bound to reveal him to all the

725
00:47:59,875 --> 00:48:05,475
Speaker 1: world as a congenital hooligan, mentally and morally unequipped to

726
00:48:05,595 --> 00:48:10,835
Speaker 1: cope with his own prodigious fame. Trust, said the Secretary

727
00:48:10,835 --> 00:48:13,595
Speaker 1: of State, at one of the many secret cabinet meetings

728
00:48:13,595 --> 00:48:17,755
Speaker 1: called to consider the national dilemma, a trust that his

729
00:48:17,875 --> 00:48:22,675
Speaker 1: mother's prayer will be answered by which he referred to

730
00:48:22,835 --> 00:48:28,355
Speaker 1: Mrs Emma's Smirch's wish that her son might be drowned. Was, however,

731
00:48:28,475 --> 00:48:31,315
Speaker 1: too late, for that Smurch had leaked the Atlantic and

732
00:48:31,355 --> 00:48:34,315
Speaker 1: then the Pacific as if they were mill ponds. At

733
00:48:34,355 --> 00:48:38,395
Speaker 1: three minutes after two o'clock on the afternoon of July seven,

734
00:48:38,555 --> 00:48:42,435
Speaker 1: the garage boy brought his idiotic plane into Roosevelt Field

735
00:48:42,475 --> 00:48:47,475
Speaker 1: for a perfect three point landing. It had, of course

736
00:48:47,875 --> 00:48:50,515
Speaker 1: been out of the question to arrange a modest little

737
00:48:50,555 --> 00:48:53,515
Speaker 1: reception for the greatest flyer in the history of the world.

738
00:48:53,795 --> 00:48:56,715
Speaker 1: He was received at Roosevelt Field, with such elaborate and

739
00:48:56,755 --> 00:49:02,515
Speaker 1: pretentious ceremonies, has rocked the world. Fortunately, however, the warren

740
00:49:02,595 --> 00:49:06,675
Speaker 1: and spent hero promptly swung, had to be removed bodily

741
00:49:06,715 --> 00:49:09,155
Speaker 1: from his plane, and was spirited from the field without

742
00:49:09,195 --> 00:49:12,915
Speaker 1: having opened his mouth once. Thus he did not jeopardize

743
00:49:12,955 --> 00:49:17,355
Speaker 1: the dignity of his first reception, a reception illumined by

744
00:49:17,395 --> 00:49:20,195
Speaker 1: the presence of the Secretaries of War and the Navy,

745
00:49:20,275 --> 00:49:23,635
Speaker 1: Mayor Michael J. Moriarty of New York, the Premier of Canada.

746
00:49:23,875 --> 00:49:27,355
Speaker 1: Governor's phantomen grows mcpheeley and Critchfield in a brilliant array

747
00:49:27,395 --> 00:49:31,435
Speaker 1: of European diplomats. Smirch did not, in fact come to

748
00:49:32,275 --> 00:49:35,075
Speaker 1: in time to take part in the gigantic hullabaloo arranged

749
00:49:35,115 --> 00:49:37,715
Speaker 1: at City Hall for the next day. He was rushed

750
00:49:37,755 --> 00:49:42,115
Speaker 1: to a secluded nursing home and confined in bed. It

751
00:49:42,235 --> 00:49:44,755
Speaker 1: was nine days before he was able to get up, or,

752
00:49:44,795 --> 00:49:50,795
Speaker 1: to be more exact, before he was permitted to get up. Meanwhile,

753
00:49:50,835 --> 00:49:53,515
Speaker 1: the greatest minds in the country and Solemn Assembly had

754
00:49:53,595 --> 00:49:57,875
Speaker 1: arranged a secret conference of city, state and government officials

755
00:49:57,875 --> 00:50:01,155
Speaker 1: which Smirch was to attend for the purpose of being

756
00:50:01,195 --> 00:50:07,995
Speaker 1: instructed in the ethics and behavior of heroism. On the

757
00:50:08,075 --> 00:50:10,395
Speaker 1: day that the little mechanic was finally allowed to get

758
00:50:10,435 --> 00:50:12,435
Speaker 1: up and dress, and, for the first time in two weeks,

759
00:50:12,475 --> 00:50:15,515
Speaker 1: took a great chew of tobacco, he was permitted to receive.

760
00:50:15,715 --> 00:50:19,115
Speaker 1: The newspaper men this by way of testing him out.

761
00:50:20,395 --> 00:50:24,355
Speaker 1: Smirch did not wait for questions. Use guys, he said,

762
00:50:24,995 --> 00:50:28,595
Speaker 1: and the Times Man winced. Use guys can tell a

763
00:50:28,715 --> 00:50:31,675
Speaker 1: cock eyed world that I put it over on Lindbergh.

764
00:50:31,755 --> 00:50:36,795
Speaker 1: See yeah, man, an as said, I'm two frogs. The

765
00:50:37,115 --> 00:50:40,195
Speaker 1: two frogs. It was a reference to a pair of

766
00:50:40,435 --> 00:50:44,475
Speaker 1: gallant French flyers who, in attempting to flight only halfway

767
00:50:44,555 --> 00:50:46,955
Speaker 1: round the world, had two weeks before unhappily been lost

768
00:50:46,995 --> 00:50:50,595
Speaker 1: at sea. The Times Man was bold enough at this

769
00:50:50,635 --> 00:50:53,835
Speaker 1: point to sketch out for Smirch the accepted formula for

770
00:50:53,955 --> 00:50:57,075
Speaker 1: interviews in cases of this kind. He explained that there

771
00:50:57,115 --> 00:51:01,955
Speaker 1: should be no arrogant statements belittling the achievements of other heroes,

772
00:51:01,995 --> 00:51:05,635
Speaker 1: particularly heroes of foreign nations. Ah to hell with that,

773
00:51:06,155 --> 00:51:09,875
Speaker 1: said Smirch. I did it. See I did it, and

774
00:51:09,995 --> 00:51:14,035
Speaker 1: I'm talking about it. And he did talk about it.

775
00:51:15,275 --> 00:51:19,355
Speaker 1: None of this extraordinary interview was of course printed on

776
00:51:19,395 --> 00:51:22,795
Speaker 1: the contrary. The newspapers, already under the discipline direction of

777
00:51:22,795 --> 00:51:25,955
Speaker 1: a secret director it created for the occasion, and composed

778
00:51:25,955 --> 00:51:28,755
Speaker 1: of statesmen and editors, gave out to a panting and

779
00:51:28,835 --> 00:51:33,235
Speaker 1: restless world that Jackie, as he had been arbitrarily nicknamed,

780
00:51:33,755 --> 00:51:37,115
Speaker 1: would consent to say only that he was very happy,

781
00:51:37,235 --> 00:51:40,075
Speaker 1: and that anyone could have done what he did. My

782
00:51:40,195 --> 00:51:44,675
Speaker 1: achievement has been I fear slightly exaggerated. The Times Man's

783
00:51:44,795 --> 00:51:48,915
Speaker 1: article had him protest with a modest smile. These newspaper

784
00:51:48,995 --> 00:51:52,395
Speaker 1: stories were kept from the hero, a restriction which did

785
00:51:52,435 --> 00:51:55,755
Speaker 1: not serve to abate the rising malevolence of his temper.

786
00:51:56,995 --> 00:52:02,035
Speaker 1: The situation was indeed extremely grave for pal Smirch was,

787
00:52:02,875 --> 00:52:07,235
Speaker 1: as he kept insisting, arn to go. He could not

788
00:52:07,395 --> 00:52:10,675
Speaker 1: much longer be kept from a nation clamorous to lionize him.

789
00:52:10,675 --> 00:52:13,515
Speaker 1: It was the most desperate crisis the United States of

790
00:52:13,555 --> 00:52:19,475
Speaker 1: America had faced since the sinking of the Lusitania. On

791
00:52:19,595 --> 00:52:22,755
Speaker 1: the afternoon of the twenty seven of July, Smirch was

792
00:52:22,835 --> 00:52:26,235
Speaker 1: spirited away to a conference room in which were gathered mayors, governors,

793
00:52:26,235 --> 00:52:31,195
Speaker 1: government officials, behaviorist psychologists, and editors. He gave them each

794
00:52:31,195 --> 00:52:37,355
Speaker 1: a limp moist paw, and a brief, unlovely grin Hi,

795
00:52:37,635 --> 00:52:40,955
Speaker 1: he said. When Smirch was seated, the Mayor of New

796
00:52:41,035 --> 00:52:44,515
Speaker 1: York arose, and, with obvious pessimism, attempted to explain what

797
00:52:44,555 --> 00:52:47,675
Speaker 1: he must say and how he must act when presented

798
00:52:47,715 --> 00:52:50,875
Speaker 1: to the world, ending his talk with a high tribute

799
00:52:50,875 --> 00:52:54,155
Speaker 1: to the hero's courage and integrity. The Mayor was followed

800
00:52:54,195 --> 00:52:56,995
Speaker 1: by Governor Fanaman of New York, who, after a touching

801
00:52:57,035 --> 00:53:01,955
Speaker 1: declaration of faith, introduced Cameron Spottiswood, second Secretary of the

802
00:53:01,955 --> 00:53:05,875
Speaker 1: American Embassy in Paris, the gentleman selected to coach Smirch

803
00:53:06,435 --> 00:53:10,755
Speaker 1: in the amenities of public ceremonies. Sitting in a chair

804
00:53:10,915 --> 00:53:13,675
Speaker 1: with a soiled yellow tie in his hand and his

805
00:53:13,675 --> 00:53:18,195
Speaker 1: shirt open at the throat, unshaved, smoking a rolled cigarette,

806
00:53:18,635 --> 00:53:21,955
Speaker 1: Jack Smirch listened with a leer on his lips. I

807
00:53:22,315 --> 00:53:26,475
Speaker 1: get you, I get you, he cut in nastily. You

808
00:53:26,475 --> 00:53:29,275
Speaker 1: want me to act like a softy huh. You want

809
00:53:29,315 --> 00:53:33,155
Speaker 1: me to act like that memony, memny baby face, lind

810
00:53:33,195 --> 00:53:37,635
Speaker 1: big huh. Well nuts to that. See. Everyone took in

811
00:53:37,755 --> 00:53:40,995
Speaker 1: his breath sharply. It was a sigh and a hiss.

812
00:53:42,715 --> 00:53:47,195
Speaker 1: Mr Lindbergh began a United States Senator purple with rage,

813
00:53:47,395 --> 00:53:51,555
Speaker 1: and Mr bird Smirch, who was paring his nails with

814
00:53:51,595 --> 00:53:55,835
Speaker 1: a jackknife, cut in again. Boyd. He exclaimed, for God's

815
00:53:55,875 --> 00:53:59,395
Speaker 1: sake that pick somebody shut off the blasphemies with a

816
00:53:59,435 --> 00:54:03,075
Speaker 1: sharp word. A newcomer had entered the word the room.

817
00:54:03,155 --> 00:54:05,635
Speaker 1: Everyone stood up except smur who was still busy with

818
00:54:05,675 --> 00:54:08,835
Speaker 1: his nails, and he did not even glance up. Mr

819
00:54:08,915 --> 00:54:12,435
Speaker 1: Smirch said someone sternly the President of the United States.

820
00:54:13,595 --> 00:54:15,435
Speaker 1: It had been thought that the presence of the Chief

821
00:54:15,475 --> 00:54:18,435
Speaker 1: Executive might have a chastening effect on the young hero,

822
00:54:18,915 --> 00:54:21,195
Speaker 1: and the former had been, thanks to the remarkable co

823
00:54:21,395 --> 00:54:26,515
Speaker 1: operation of the press, secretly brought to the obscure conference room.

824
00:54:26,555 --> 00:54:36,235
Speaker 1: A great painful silence fell. Smirch looked up, waved a

825
00:54:36,275 --> 00:54:40,235
Speaker 1: hand at the President. How are you coming, he asked,

826
00:54:41,155 --> 00:54:49,915
Speaker 1: and began rolling a fresh cigarette. The silence deepened. Someone

827
00:54:50,075 --> 00:54:55,635
Speaker 1: coughed in a strained way. Jesus's hot, ain't it, said Smirch.

828
00:54:57,315 --> 00:55:01,235
Speaker 1: He loosened two more shirt buttons, revealing a hairy chest

829
00:55:01,315 --> 00:55:05,995
Speaker 1: and the tattooed word Sadie enclosed in a stenciled heart.

830
00:55:07,275 --> 00:55:10,475
Speaker 1: The great and important men in the room, faced by

831
00:55:10,515 --> 00:55:15,075
Speaker 1: the most serious crisis in American history, exchanged worried frowns.

832
00:55:15,915 --> 00:55:19,875
Speaker 1: Nobody seemed to know how to proceed. Come on, come on,

833
00:55:20,275 --> 00:55:23,395
Speaker 1: said Smirch. Let's get the hell outta here. Why do

834
00:55:23,435 --> 00:55:26,475
Speaker 1: I start cutting in on the party's uh? And when

835
00:55:27,475 --> 00:55:31,115
Speaker 1: is there gonna be this in it? He rubbed a

836
00:55:31,155 --> 00:55:36,435
Speaker 1: thumb and forefinger together meaningly, Money, exclaimed a state senator,

837
00:55:36,555 --> 00:55:41,875
Speaker 1: shocked Pale. Yeah money, said Pal, flipping his cigarette out

838
00:55:41,915 --> 00:55:45,395
Speaker 1: of the window. And big money. He began rolling a

839
00:55:45,435 --> 00:55:51,195
Speaker 1: fresh cigarette. Big money, he repeated, Frowning over the rice paper.

840
00:55:51,915 --> 00:55:54,635
Speaker 1: He tilted back in his chair and leered at each

841
00:55:54,675 --> 00:55:59,395
Speaker 1: gentleman separately, the leer of an animal that knows its power,

842
00:55:59,715 --> 00:56:02,675
Speaker 1: the leer of a leopard loose in a bird and

843
00:56:02,915 --> 00:56:07,795
Speaker 1: dog shop. For God's sake, Let's get someplace where it's cool,

844
00:56:08,115 --> 00:56:11,235
Speaker 1: he said. I've been cooped up plenty for three weeks.

845
00:56:12,755 --> 00:56:15,315
Speaker 1: Smirch stood up and walked over to an open window,

846
00:56:15,875 --> 00:56:19,595
Speaker 1: where he stood staring down into the street nine floors below.

847
00:56:20,755 --> 00:56:24,155
Speaker 1: The faint shouting of newsboys floated up to him. He

848
00:56:24,275 --> 00:56:28,635
Speaker 1: made out his name, hot Dog. He cried, grinning ecstatic,

849
00:56:29,195 --> 00:56:34,275
Speaker 1: he leaned out over the sill Yo talent babies. He

850
00:56:34,355 --> 00:56:39,315
Speaker 1: shouted down, hot diggity dog. In the tense little knot

851
00:56:39,315 --> 00:56:43,315
Speaker 1: of men standing behind him, a quick, mad impulse flared up.

852
00:56:43,595 --> 00:56:47,675
Speaker 1: An unspoken word of appeal of command seemed to ring

853
00:56:47,835 --> 00:56:51,235
Speaker 1: through the room, yet it was deadly silent. Charles K.

854
00:56:51,635 --> 00:56:54,155
Speaker 1: L Brand, secretary to the Mayor of New York City,

855
00:56:54,235 --> 00:56:57,755
Speaker 1: happened to be standing nearest smirch. He looked inquiringly at

856
00:56:57,795 --> 00:57:02,235
Speaker 1: the President of the United States. The President, pale grim

857
00:57:02,315 --> 00:57:06,595
Speaker 1: nodded shortly. Brand, a tall, powerfully built man wants to

858
00:57:06,635 --> 00:57:11,035
Speaker 1: tackle at Rutgers University, stepped forward, seized the greatest man

859
00:57:11,115 --> 00:57:13,075
Speaker 1: in the world by his left shoulder and the seat

860
00:57:13,075 --> 00:57:16,755
Speaker 1: of his pants, and pushed him out the window. My god,

861
00:57:16,795 --> 00:57:19,875
Speaker 1: he's fallen out the window, cried a quick witted editor.

862
00:57:19,995 --> 00:57:22,275
Speaker 1: Get me out of here, cried the President. Several men

863
00:57:22,275 --> 00:57:24,395
Speaker 1: sprang to his side, and he was hurriedly escorted out

864
00:57:24,395 --> 00:57:26,235
Speaker 1: of a door toward a side entrance of the building.

865
00:57:26,475 --> 00:57:29,035
Speaker 1: The editor of the Associated Press took charge. Being used

866
00:57:29,035 --> 00:57:31,755
Speaker 1: to such things crisply, he ordered certain men to leave,

867
00:57:31,955 --> 00:57:34,915
Speaker 1: others to stay. Quickly. He outlined a story which all

868
00:57:34,915 --> 00:57:37,275
Speaker 1: the papers were to agree on. Sent two men to

869
00:57:37,355 --> 00:57:39,835
Speaker 1: the street to handle that end of the tragedy, commanded

870
00:57:39,835 --> 00:57:42,635
Speaker 1: a Senator to sob and two Congressmen to go to

871
00:57:42,675 --> 00:57:47,635
Speaker 1: pieces nervously. In a word, he skillfully set the stage

872
00:57:47,635 --> 00:57:50,795
Speaker 1: for the gigantic task that was to follow, the task

873
00:57:51,475 --> 00:57:54,835
Speaker 1: of breaking to a grief stricken world the sad story

874
00:57:54,875 --> 00:57:59,795
Speaker 1: of the untimely accidental death of its most illustrious and

875
00:57:59,835 --> 00:58:07,195
Speaker 1: spectacular figure. The funeral was, as you know, the most elaborate,

876
00:58:07,515 --> 00:58:11,755
Speaker 1: the finest, the solemnist, and the saddest ever held in

877
00:58:11,795 --> 00:58:16,115
Speaker 1: the United States of America. The monument in Arlington Cemetery,

878
00:58:16,435 --> 00:58:19,795
Speaker 1: with its clean white shaft of marble and the simple

879
00:58:19,835 --> 00:58:24,395
Speaker 1: device of a tiny plane carved on its base, is

880
00:58:24,435 --> 00:58:30,715
Speaker 1: a place for pilgrims in deep reverence to visit. The

881
00:58:30,835 --> 00:58:34,915
Speaker 1: nations of the world paid lofty tributes to Little Jackie Smirch,

882
00:58:35,315 --> 00:58:40,515
Speaker 1: America's greatest hero. At a given hour, there were two

883
00:58:40,555 --> 00:58:44,115
Speaker 1: minutes of silence throughout the nation. Even the inhabitants of

884
00:58:44,115 --> 00:58:49,755
Speaker 1: the small bewildered town of Westfield, Iowa, observed this touching ceremony.

885
00:58:49,955 --> 00:58:53,675
Speaker 1: Agents of the Department of Justice sought at that one

886
00:58:53,675 --> 00:58:56,915
Speaker 1: of them was especially assigned to stand grimly in the

887
00:58:56,955 --> 00:59:00,355
Speaker 1: doorway of a little shack restaurant on the edge of

888
00:59:00,395 --> 00:59:04,835
Speaker 1: the tourists camping ground just outside the town. They are

889
00:59:05,035 --> 00:59:09,795
Speaker 1: under his stern scrutiny. Mrs Emma Smirch bowed her head

890
00:59:09,835 --> 00:59:13,675
Speaker 1: over to hamburger stakes sizzling on her grill. Bowed her

891
00:59:13,715 --> 00:59:18,155
Speaker 1: head and turned away so that the secret serviceman could

892
00:59:18,195 --> 00:59:24,995
Speaker 1: not see the twisted, strangely familiar leer on her lips.

893
00:59:27,155 --> 00:59:45,315
Speaker 1: The Greatest Man in the World by James Thurber. I've

894
00:59:45,355 --> 00:59:47,875
Speaker 1: done all the damage I can do here. Thank you

895
00:59:47,955 --> 00:59:51,115
Speaker 1: for listening The Greatest Man in the World. If you're

896
00:59:51,115 --> 00:59:53,755
Speaker 1: not following or subscribing to the podcast, please do so.

897
00:59:53,875 --> 00:59:56,515
Speaker 1: Among other things, if there are special editions between now

898
00:59:56,555 --> 00:59:59,555
Speaker 1: and the next scheduled Countdown on December twenty nine, you

899
00:59:59,595 --> 01:00:03,955
Speaker 1: will know automatically. Here are the credits. Most of the music,

900
01:00:03,995 --> 01:00:06,955
Speaker 1: including our the from Beethoven's Ninth was arranged, produced, and

901
01:00:07,035 --> 01:00:09,675
Speaker 1: performed by Brian Ray and John Philip Shanelle, who are

902
01:00:09,675 --> 01:00:13,515
Speaker 1: the Countdown musical directors. All orchestration and keyboards by John

903
01:00:13,515 --> 01:00:17,235
Speaker 1: Philip Chanelle. Guitars, bass and drums by Brian Ray. Produced

904
01:00:17,235 --> 01:00:20,675
Speaker 1: by t k O Brothers. Other Beethoven selections have been

905
01:00:20,755 --> 01:00:23,675
Speaker 1: arranged and performed by the group No Horns Allowed. The

906
01:00:23,715 --> 01:00:26,915
Speaker 1: sports music is the Olberman theme from ESPN two and

907
01:00:26,955 --> 01:00:30,435
Speaker 1: it was written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN, Inc.

908
01:00:30,835 --> 01:00:34,515
Speaker 1: Musical comments by Nancy Faust. The best baseball stadium organist ever.

909
01:00:34,915 --> 01:00:38,715
Speaker 1: Our announcer today from our rotating cast of celebrity announcers

910
01:00:39,035 --> 01:00:42,555
Speaker 1: was the great friend of mine, John Dean. Everything else

911
01:00:42,635 --> 01:00:46,235
Speaker 1: was pretty much my fault. So that's the one episode

912
01:00:46,275 --> 01:00:49,955
Speaker 1: of the Countdown podcast for this the seven and fifteenth

913
01:00:50,075 --> 01:00:53,595
Speaker 1: day since Donald Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically

914
01:00:53,635 --> 01:00:56,835
Speaker 1: elected government of the United States. Arrest him now while

915
01:00:56,995 --> 01:01:01,075
Speaker 1: we still can. I'm Keith Allerman. Good Morning, good afternoon, goodnight,

916
01:01:01,195 --> 01:01:15,795
Speaker 1: good luck, and Merry Christmas. M Countdown with Keith Alderman

917
01:01:15,955 --> 01:01:19,395
Speaker 1: is a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts

918
01:01:19,435 --> 01:01:22,075
Speaker 1: from I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app,

919
01:01:22,155 --> 01:01:25,555
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.