Speaker 1: Guess what decision We're about to make?
Speaker 2: Horrible decision? How do everybody?
Speaker 1: We have the Horrible Decisions podcast, and we are going
Speaker 1: to be in Dallas, Texas Royal Day weekend.
Speaker 2: Bitch is a Sunday. We're gonna be headlining the two
Speaker 2: Togetherland Festival. And you bitches better than I. How no
Speaker 2: motherfucker work on Sunday? Call out?
Speaker 3: Ho?
Speaker 4: I mean you could do that. But also it's a
Speaker 4: three day weekend. They have Monday off. We will see
Speaker 4: you guys in Dallas, Texas at the together Land Festival.
Speaker 4: Make sure you get your tickets now. We will be
Speaker 4: live on the podcast stage. That's May twenty six. Get
Speaker 4: your tickets now at togetherland dot com. Hey guys, welcome
Speaker 4: to another episode of Horrid Black Decisions. I'm your girl,
Speaker 4: Mandy b aka Patdaaion aka Full cour Punks aka dad
Speaker 4: Bitch aka I'll fuck your mama, yo, Daddy, and your
Speaker 4: sister and your brother.
Speaker 2: What's the now?
Speaker 1: A show that I should have been cast on, as
Speaker 1: you know I was gonna turn twenty years ago. Literally
Speaker 1: all of you have written us about this show, like
Speaker 1: please do a cinema on it. But the person that
Speaker 1: really put me on was Bennie. Yes, So I watched
Speaker 1: a show called A Couple of Throuple on Peacock and
Speaker 1: I just wrote my favorite I didn't even ask somebody else.
Speaker 1: I wrote my favorite couple on the show, which is
Speaker 1: crazy because you know you must be good when you
Speaker 1: came in in the middle.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I want to say, because the show, you have
Speaker 4: to keep going to meet this couple.
Speaker 1: And then everybody was like, why didn't you invite the
Speaker 1: only one person said met Brittany and Sean because they
Speaker 1: were the black ones.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I want tea. I'm gonna be real, y'all.
Speaker 4: We have Maximo and Ash here in the motherfucker building,
Speaker 4: and I want to do that little introduction I found
Speaker 4: on the internet because it was cute, but also so
Speaker 4: we could talk shit Bothy extrovert, Maximo said he's mostly
Speaker 4: dated CIS men before dating Ash, and Ash, exuding quiet
Speaker 4: top energy which is hilarious, had mostly dated women their
Speaker 4: relationship through gender and sexuality norms in the trash, y'all.
Speaker 4: Another reason why we have them also on the pot
Speaker 4: is because they rain out of Bushwick, New York.
Speaker 5: That is how the hell that's right?
Speaker 6: Bushwick for y'all, that don't know is Brooklyn gighborhood the gighborhood.
Speaker 7: Okay, because green Point that's that's different than Bushwick.
Speaker 6: And it's not and it's not Hell's Kitchen gighborhood. It's
Speaker 6: like poc artists.
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It is like Bushwick is the place where I'm not
Speaker 1: saying I just get crazy. But there's been a few
Speaker 1: moments in my life like that one time that I
Speaker 1: peed in that guy's bet and he liked it.
Speaker 2: Wait, the Treehouse was in Bushwick.
Speaker 5: It sure was, of course it was.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, makes like that time when I fucked that
Speaker 1: girl that I met with the banker and when we
Speaker 1: were at that bar that was also Bushwick, and.
Speaker 2: Just all in it. It's just that's where it's gonna
Speaker 2: go down.
Speaker 4: Also, let's be very clear, Uh, Susia, which I love
Speaker 4: so very much, is the like sex club that's in Bushwick.
Speaker 6: That's right, absolutely, y'all. Be As just produced their first event.
Speaker 7: Was yeah, and I gug that you even know this
Speaker 7: organization and love.
Speaker 2: Louise and I love love them so much. Amazing. So
Speaker 2: let's get you guys right now.
Speaker 4: Yes, before we get into that is a very thing
Speaker 4: Before we get into our icebreaker, Ken, you do your
Speaker 4: own introduction and a little bit about how the two
Speaker 4: of you became a couple.
Speaker 8: Well, I want this one.
Speaker 5: Sure.
Speaker 6: I'm Maximo and this is Ash, also known as a gentlefemdom.
Speaker 6: I wouldn't even say quiet wow gentlefemdom one day.
Speaker 8: And the next day it's like angry twink changes Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah. We're both pan sexual, non binary, and we live
Speaker 6: in Bushrick, New York. We just moved in a year ago.
Speaker 6: We're about to start our second year together. Just celebrate
Speaker 6: our third year anniversary on third and now just kind
Speaker 6: of like seeing how things go after the show has dropped.
Speaker 6: Ash and I wanting to start more creative work together.
Speaker 6: I'm a dancer and a model and a photographer, among
Speaker 6: other creative things. You know, hustlepreneur here in the city
Speaker 6: and ask tell us about you.
Speaker 7: So right before the show, I had been doing corporate
Speaker 7: my whole career, and I was doing marketing and beauty,
Speaker 7: et cetera, but it was not hitting. I wanted to
Speaker 7: be more with people. So I actually finally did what
Speaker 7: I wanted to do since day one.
Speaker 8: Quit corporate. And now I'm trying to figure that out.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm trying to figure that out, and it's been
Speaker 7: a wild journey. I think just that alone gave me
Speaker 7: a lot of space to really figure out my identities.
Speaker 7: So since the show, it's been a lot more with
Speaker 7: non binaryiness and how that's feeding into my transness. And
Speaker 7: it's been crazy because actually Sabs who was on set
Speaker 7: with us, she was one of the makeup artists for
Speaker 7: Actually the Beautiful Hosts, and I had amazing, amazing time
Speaker 7: with her because she was the one that gave me
Speaker 7: like gender affirming cuts over and over just to make
Speaker 7: me feel more comfortable. And so with Maxie's help, like
Speaker 7: we've been just getting a lot more comfortable with ourselves.
Speaker 7: We've been now doing events together. Max is helping me
Speaker 7: become a performer as well within the Susio community.
Speaker 8: Spicy, but it was healing, very healing.
Speaker 6: So I come from a concert dance background, so I
Speaker 6: brought this more like conceptualized theme behind it.
Speaker 5: Did you put the glitter on the strap on?
Speaker 4: Like that?
Speaker 8: Next one?
Speaker 5: Let me set the scene.
Speaker 6: So this is the first party that Ash ever produced
Speaker 6: with Susio Queer, which is a play party, but this
Speaker 6: was a play party geared towards all queer people and
Speaker 6: specifically trans POC non binary people. But the idea was
Speaker 6: having a blend of different queers, you know how it
Speaker 6: could be segregated, like this is a gay sex party,
Speaker 6: This is like a lesbian sex party. This is like
Speaker 6: a swingers party. You know, this is like a hetero party.
Speaker 6: But if you want to you want to do some
Speaker 6: gay ship like.
Speaker 4: No, let's be very clear, right if the women want
Speaker 4: to be but they don't the men.
Speaker 6: Really, this one was very like we invite all all
Speaker 6: types of gender identities and sexualities. So the performance starts me,
Speaker 6: I'm all kind in my like of course, my fish
Speaker 6: nets and my booty shorts and my lingerie, and so
Speaker 6: it starts out to buttons by pussy cat dolls. And
Speaker 6: I'm also a voguer. So I start I'm servingknes, I'm
Speaker 6: giving you pussy, I'm dancing, I'm voguing. But then I
Speaker 6: start to take out this bag, and in this bag,
Speaker 6: I start to take out different articles of clothing. I
Speaker 6: put on these sunglasses. Then my move starts to become
Speaker 6: a little more masculine. Then I put on this bandana
Speaker 6: more masculine. Then I take this button down and I'm
Speaker 6: like full mask mode. Now I'm giving you like magic
Speaker 6: mic energy, buttoning up the shirt and now my visual
Speaker 6: is turning from like cunt to more masks. Last thing
Speaker 6: I do is I take Ash from the crowd and
Speaker 6: I rip their pants off. I take their pants, I
Speaker 6: put the pants on me. I am now fully trained,
Speaker 6: its form, fully masked. Then magic Mike the song starts playing,
Speaker 6: Let's ride it, dude. That is genuine, right, that's where
Speaker 6: I got it from.
Speaker 8: There's the door.
Speaker 5: Absolutely correct on you. That's right.
Speaker 6: And then so then I have a moment of masculine
Speaker 6: dancing to pony by genuine yes, and then Ash turns
Speaker 6: me around. Oh wait, no, I'm sorry. Then I go
Speaker 6: back to the bag. I go back to the bag.
Speaker 6: The last thing I take out the bag is a
Speaker 6: strap on. I put Ash in the strap on. We
Speaker 6: start putting Ash into the strap on, start taking off
Speaker 6: their top. Now they're fully nude, exposed, vulnerable, but now
Speaker 6: we're putting on their strap on. Next thing you do
Speaker 6: they put me on my knees, turn me around, take
Speaker 6: my pants off, rip open my fish nets. I go
Speaker 6: into the I go into the bag and I passed
Speaker 6: them the loop. Then Ash goes into the bag and
Speaker 6: passes me the poppers because that's important.
Speaker 5: That that's so part of life.
Speaker 6: And so the next thing that happens, get ready because
Speaker 6: now it gets crazy. So then take care of the poppers.
Speaker 6: Ash starts to penetrate me, as I.
Speaker 7: Actually I ate you at first. You had to eat
Speaker 7: Maxie out first to like loosen it up, get cute coffee.
Speaker 5: So your face in that BOOTLEHOLEO.
Speaker 2: She literally turned around and said, it's important.
Speaker 7: You gotta know, gentle top.
Speaker 6: You know if you're gonna do anal, you need to
Speaker 6: like have some for play first.
Speaker 5: Of course, lots of loop.
Speaker 6: But if you have a nice top, who's gonna really
Speaker 6: make before I stick it?
Speaker 9: Hello?
Speaker 6: So literally you you got puked the hold on them
Speaker 6: so as so they ate me out, then they start
Speaker 6: to penetrate me. As they're penetrating me, I am now
Speaker 6: taking off these articles of clothing and passing them to Ash.
Speaker 6: So my bandana I take off, I passed to Ash.
Speaker 6: My glasses I take off, I passed to Ash. My
Speaker 6: button down I take off and pass to Ash. So
Speaker 6: then Ash, as they're penetrating me, multitasking like putting on
Speaker 6: the button down, the glasses and then they're getting in
Speaker 6: your mask exactly. So then you're seeing this visual of
Speaker 6: me going from mask back to Kent and Ash turning
Speaker 6: more masks, and then it ends with me finishing being
Speaker 6: penetrated and taking my pants off and putting them back
Speaker 6: on Ash and like giving, oh my gosh, oh.
Speaker 2: No, no, no no.
Speaker 4: The next night, I need to go. I would love
Speaker 4: to be in this room.
Speaker 2: You guys seem like you're coming.
Speaker 5: No, they came before everyone else came. It was holy icebreaker,
Speaker 5: and I feel like that being an icebreaker, my icebreaker question.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm like, you know what, I want to
Speaker 1: say something that's gonna sound fucked up, but I have
Speaker 1: to say it. There was a moment where Sean said
Speaker 1: to you on the show. Seawan is another member on
Speaker 1: the show, you know, I see the masculine side of you.
Speaker 1: First I saw feminine, but I'm starting to see it.
Speaker 1: I swear to god, I kind of get it now.
Speaker 1: And it's very difficult because for me, I'm very like,
Speaker 1: I'm by right not really paying me because I really
Speaker 1: like the girl and the girl and the guy and
Speaker 1: the guy. It's still I don't know what it is,
Speaker 1: and maybe isn't the beard, Well, well, not only the beard,
Speaker 1: I'll say, and I'm sure it was by editing.
Speaker 5: First off, I love a black man acknowledging.
Speaker 4: That that was a nice a man, and he literally
Speaker 4: also said I'd never seen a man present both feminine
Speaker 4: and masculine before, and it was so nice to see.
Speaker 4: I hate that the editing, I will say, did not
Speaker 4: show you in that madmore because I came in. First off,
Speaker 4: it was given cut, you had a whole beat.
Speaker 1: Okay, the boots were really the moment the courset, I
Speaker 1: was like, wow, But no, I think it's interesting because yeah,
Speaker 1: the viewer didn't get to see it, right, But sitting
Speaker 1: here with you for ten minutes, I'm like, oh yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: And especially because keep in mind, I think when men
Speaker 1: are watching this straight man, right, yeah, you can't see
Speaker 1: the connections sometimes between somebody queer and hetero because you
Speaker 1: never get to see it on TV.
Speaker 2: There's never a moment. I'm sure you broke up.
Speaker 1: With him, had deep conversation, and I think you definitely
Speaker 1: were painted in a way, not in a bad way.
Speaker 1: But I think the other good thing that was good
Speaker 1: to see is I don't expect to see this couple.
Speaker 2: I'm looking at an Asian girl and like, you know.
Speaker 4: Guy, all about the sorry, but you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 4: Brazilian okay. And I don't want to say what type
Speaker 4: of Asian. But I know we can't just say there's
Speaker 4: a different There's a whole difference between every Yeah, you
Speaker 4: know what you have. You have Filipino. But Bute just
Speaker 4: told me to go to soa bitch, this is your
Speaker 4: sign to now well, I started Japan, but they was like, hey,
Speaker 4: why you over and go to Soul. Okay.
Speaker 6: I just want to say about the Shawn situation. First
Speaker 6: of all, I really appreciate you acknowledging that about me.
Speaker 6: I think, of course on TV they're playing into the
Speaker 6: queer of course, but I also I don't want to
Speaker 6: say I code switch. But just like when I'm around
Speaker 6: women or when I'm around men, when I go to
Speaker 6: the boat Dagga and I order my baking egg and cheese,
Speaker 6: I'm not like, hey, girl, let me get like a
Speaker 6: bacon egg and cheese, and you know, I'm like, what's
Speaker 6: going on the boss, Like can I get like? So
Speaker 6: when I'm around people, you know, it's not that those
Speaker 6: are big parts of myself or like I'm switching to
Speaker 6: a piece, but it's like those are parts of myself
Speaker 6: that I also like to access. It just depends on
Speaker 6: who I'm around. What energy am I in? Am I
Speaker 6: feeling more mask today? Am I feeling more feminine? And
Speaker 6: that is so fluid and like how you present and
Speaker 6: sexuality as well as gender. And for Sean, what was
Speaker 6: so fab as They were like seeing you you're.
Speaker 5: A whole cut.
Speaker 3: He didn't know how to verbalize it, but he said
Speaker 3: that he definitely said that definitely and getting to exchange words,
Speaker 3: They're like, that's when I could see your masculine energy
Speaker 3: really coming out and seeing the dynamics of our relationship
Speaker 3: of how it's like kind of a give and a take.
Speaker 4: So for the icebreaker, you take everybody's So for the icebreaker,
Speaker 4: I wanted to want to make it into that.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 4: So you guys present as you've only you normally were
Speaker 4: with women. Prior to this relationship, you normally were with men.
Speaker 4: I want to know what is something that you both
Speaker 4: used to believe in in relation about relationships that.
Speaker 5: Since has changed.
Speaker 4: I mean even from and you can go all the
Speaker 4: way back to growing up, maybe your cultural beliefs, your backgrounds,
Speaker 4: maybe what your parents instilled on to you. I would
Speaker 4: love to know what's changed about your idea of relationship
Speaker 4: since being together.
Speaker 7: Oh my god, everything you know, like everything that I
Speaker 7: grew up thinking was a relationship, from how you love,
Speaker 7: how you receive love, who you love, has completely changed
Speaker 7: upside down and side around because Maxie, I feel like
Speaker 7: and our whole relationship has been always about what feels
Speaker 7: right to us versus what should we do, because we
Speaker 7: never really had I feel like a guidance in our
Speaker 7: community and who my friends were at the time when
Speaker 7: I was usually with women. We're lesbians who can sometimes
Speaker 7: be harsher than straight people because when then you say,
Speaker 7: oh I'm kind of interested in some.
Speaker 2: Dick, They're like, you're straight, bitch, stay away.
Speaker 8: Sometimes it's like that.
Speaker 7: Yeah, but I feel like we had to really learn
Speaker 7: how to trust ourselves and each other of like what
Speaker 7: feels good to us, because right now it feels like
Speaker 7: we're kind of the anomaly and we get that a lot.
Speaker 2: I kind of think you are.
Speaker 5: Yeah, what about you, Maximal?
Speaker 6: Yeah, well, I feel like so growing up, I predominantly
Speaker 6: had girlfriends, so I was predominantly dating men. From the
Speaker 6: point I came out as bisexual until Ash and I
Speaker 6: until like we started like dating again. So that was
Speaker 6: so I grew up straight in the closet girlfriends, always
Speaker 6: knowing that I had like attraction to men and attraction
Speaker 6: to really like the possibility to be attracted to anybody.
Speaker 6: But growing up in South Florida, where it's.
Speaker 4: Very Florida polka.
Speaker 5: Clearly, growing up in Florida has our minds fucked up.
Speaker 2: It's the water. No, no, we are we are products
Speaker 2: of a red state education.
Speaker 6: Growing up in South Florida, it's very known that like
Speaker 6: being by a girl is not going to want to
Speaker 6: date you.
Speaker 5: In fact, that's just a beard, You're just gay.
Speaker 6: Actually, it's such biphobia, I feel like in middle school
Speaker 6: and high school, so even though knowing that I knew
Speaker 6: I like to maybe such a little dick or something,
Speaker 6: but I also knew that I really was romantically into
Speaker 6: women as well. So eventually getting to college and coming
Speaker 6: out as bisexual, I would say bisexual, hetero romantic until
Speaker 6: I started to give myself the space to actually feel
Speaker 6: intimacy with men and recognize that I have my own
Speaker 6: internal seeds that were planted from society, from friends or
Speaker 6: from whoever. That allowed me to feel like I don't
Speaker 6: want to be close to men in that kind of way.
Speaker 6: So giving myself that space to explore, I realized, no,
Speaker 6: I'm pan sexual. I have the capacity to love anybody
Speaker 6: and really form intimate connections with anyone. Meeting Ash though,
Speaker 6: then that really took us on a journey of a
Speaker 6: sense like, well, we know we're both very queer, right,
Speaker 6: but we are very attracted romantically and physically to each other.
Speaker 6: But then also me coming from being predominantly with men
Speaker 6: before and ASH with women is like, right, one, I
Speaker 6: don't want to limit my partner from experiencing any kind
Speaker 6: of love or pleasure in this world, just as I
Speaker 6: don't want to feel like I'm limited as long as
Speaker 6: it's respectfully and communicatively. But there's this sense of wanting
Speaker 6: to also stay in touch with our queerness, wanting to
Speaker 6: still like give that side of ourselves love. So it
Speaker 6: allowed me and I feel like allowed us to really
Speaker 6: speak on the things that in relationships you don't actually
Speaker 6: talk about, like I'm actually attracted to this other person,
Speaker 6: I kind of want to have sex with somebody else,
Speaker 6: maybe it's together, or maybe it's separately, and how do
Speaker 6: I do that in a relationship where it's ethical and
Speaker 6: making sure that I'm communicating? Do you want to know
Speaker 6: before I search for somebody? Do you want to know
Speaker 6: if I meet somebody?
Speaker 4: So I've literally been in my house the last two days.
Speaker 4: We've we've talked about ethical nonm monogamy on Horrible Decision
Speaker 4: Now we both just got out of non monogamous relationships,
Speaker 4: still playing in an ethical non monogamous way, and the
Speaker 4: show pissed me off so much because navigating this space
Speaker 4: is really hard. But then the communicating of it, where
Speaker 4: you're literally communicating to other people's and securities, and that's
Speaker 4: all I kept seeing. And we'll get into it later
Speaker 4: because y'all did some function shit.
Speaker 5: We gonna get into it.
Speaker 2: While I was watching it, and we weren't supposed to
Speaker 2: think it was all sexual.
Speaker 4: No no, no, So not that it was sexual, but in
Speaker 4: terms of the communication between the singles and the couples,
Speaker 4: knowing that I'm I know, I want to be non monogamous.
Speaker 5: I love sex clubs. I love that.
Speaker 4: I felt like I opened my last relationship into Pandora's
Speaker 4: box and there that was betrayal, Right, and so all
Speaker 4: I saw with all of these non monogamous people seeking
Speaker 4: throuble relationships was no one's ever satisfied. And because now
Speaker 4: you've opened the floodgates to allowing your partner to be
Speaker 4: just with anyone, I through a lot of people saw
Speaker 4: constant search of someone else.
Speaker 2: That's not true. You literally don't have someone leaving early
Speaker 2: because it was so good.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, I get that. In the realm of
Speaker 4: the show. I also think that was production also, I
Speaker 4: also feel like there's a lot of things that are fabricated.
Speaker 4: But all I kept seeing was people like, oh, well,
Speaker 4: we have this opportunity to have someone else, let me
Speaker 4: swap and bring someone else in. Watching Darien, which is
Speaker 4: one person who actually expressed to want to play with y'all,
Speaker 4: her couple was like, oh, actually, no, this should be closed.
Speaker 4: How dare you want someone else yet? We want to
Speaker 4: be able to have someone else.
Speaker 2: But that's okay though they have a I get that.
Speaker 9: To me.
Speaker 4: It was where a as millennials, I would say, we're
Speaker 4: the first generation of people to openly be navigating this
Speaker 4: space at the monogamy. And as I'm watching it, I'm
Speaker 4: literally seeing Romaine that nig annoyed me. Okay, let me
Speaker 4: be honest, but they watching. If they were taken out
Speaker 4: of it, there would have been some healthy ship.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 4: No, even the fact that the other white man was
Speaker 4: clearly jealous, that a lot of the women were more
Speaker 4: attracted to you, because what we really got to see.
Speaker 2: But so I'm watching this and I just don't like thinking.
Speaker 4: It's not that it's not that rumbles are hunky dory,
Speaker 4: it's the fact of the true layers of communication, trauma,
Speaker 4: and dismantling society ideas of what a true relationship looks
Speaker 4: like while also navigating someone's the securities, someone leaning into
Speaker 4: their lives because they don't know how to be honest,
Speaker 4: someone really wanting to be sensual and sexual with someone
Speaker 4: else and not knowing how to communicate that.
Speaker 1: But see, I might have been Britney too, and I'm
Speaker 1: actually gay, So let me just say sorry, she's gorgeous,
Speaker 1: followed her forever, never got gay. But anyway, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you who I thought was healthiest to unhealthy in order.
Speaker 5: Oh and by the way, oh hopefully, okay, hopefully, just so.
Speaker 4: You know we're talking about what we're talking about.
Speaker 5: The show couple to throuble. Go ahead and say so the.
Speaker 1: Couple that left, where I saw the unhealthiness was she
Speaker 1: seemed jealous a lot.
Speaker 2: It was really a little too early.
Speaker 1: I only thought you were the healthiest because of I
Speaker 1: didn't really see an uncomfortability when the others were attracted
Speaker 1: to someone else. However, there's a clear compersion element of that, right,
Speaker 1: oh I like him, hurts you Number Max and Ash
Speaker 1: explore it. But it's basically this thing of like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm into this. There wasn't really a moment where you
Speaker 1: got to see some turmoil in between each other unless
Speaker 1: it had to do with the third That to me
Speaker 1: is strength in a couple because if anyone else fucked
Speaker 1: something up, that was the only time we saw you
Speaker 1: have a serious convo. Every other couple had some internal shit,
Speaker 1: They had an issue with their own jealousy together. Your
Speaker 1: main issue was like you couldn't connect with someone else,
Speaker 1: And I was.
Speaker 2: Like, dangn So we're gonna talk about it real quick, but.
Speaker 1: Wait, wait, waiting on them, But I'm going in order
Speaker 1: remember secondary to that, you got a married couple who
Speaker 1: I thought and everybody thought would be the strongest, and
Speaker 1: then like Mandy just said, we got to see a
Speaker 1: man be jealous of the woman he was with and
Speaker 1: the other partners being attracted to them. First of all,
Speaker 1: they were so stereotypical macho guy girl having a threesome,
Speaker 1: just looking and I was like, damn, I kind of
Speaker 1: thought they were going to impress me. Did not third unhealthy.
Speaker 1: I will definitely say I hate it that it was them.
Speaker 1: Was the black couple. I don't think she was gay enough.
Speaker 1: I think when he said, she wanted to.
Speaker 4: Do that shit reviews so she can get more instant.
Speaker 4: They can't be at the bottom, honey, when you saw
Speaker 4: oh yeah, gaze was at the bottom, you write they weren't.
Speaker 4: Literally they was at the bottom, was at the bottom.
Speaker 5: But that's that's what people are thinking.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, that's what you don't think that white
Speaker 4: couple with the blonde was the most healthy with Denise.
Speaker 2: No, I thought they were.
Speaker 5: So I will remember why.
Speaker 6: Like the arc though at the ending, I really like
Speaker 6: how they gave them that journey that then they started
Speaker 6: to find that comfort because Britt was also going through
Speaker 6: their own coming out.
Speaker 4: Like she said at the end, I gotta act like
Speaker 4: I'm by. I want to tell you you guys why
Speaker 4: wouldn't put you at the most healthy And what frustrated me.
Speaker 2: About who was the most healthy to you?
Speaker 4: The one that left no the white couple that was
Speaker 4: with Denise even cure the level of communication between them
Speaker 4: and Denise will like I'm more sexual, your man is
Speaker 4: more sexual. I want to make you comfortable. That to
Speaker 4: me was very strong. The reason why your foundation is great.
Speaker 4: What I viewed again as my I'm watching this show
Speaker 4: and I was getting angry because I was like, baby,
Speaker 4: this is tough, was the fact that for everyone that
Speaker 4: y'all wanted to bring in, there was a layer of
Speaker 4: dishonesty that you wanted them to have with whoever they
Speaker 4: were dealing with, and so and you didn't want Jonathan
Speaker 4: or you.
Speaker 7: Didn't you see it, like Jonathan Darien, the both man
Speaker 7: and woman that you wanted to bring in were already
Speaker 7: a part of a couple and navigating that relationship.
Speaker 4: And when you both spoke on interest to them about it, however,
Speaker 4: they repeated it to their partners was that you were
Speaker 4: going behind their backs. And so to me, having been
Speaker 4: in a relationship that was ethically non monogamous and literally
Speaker 4: going into a sex club and the the woman that
Speaker 4: my partner is cheating on me with introduces herself to
Speaker 4: me and acts like I'm meeting No, it's not even
Speaker 4: that I'm triggered.
Speaker 5: But but.
Speaker 4: If we're in this non monogamous space, the idea that
Speaker 4: we're supposed to be open, fluid and communicating with our partners,
Speaker 4: that there would y'all would lean into them being dishonest
Speaker 4: with their partner.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so I guess that's where.
Speaker 4: Where does the ethical come in, Where clearly you want
Speaker 4: them to be ethical with y'all, but is it okay
Speaker 4: for them to lie to their partners?
Speaker 5: And Maximo.
Speaker 8: Answer, no, that's not right.
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, that's absolutely not right the way that you
Speaker 6: perceive that, the way that it was edited. Of course,
Speaker 6: I don't agree with that style of ethical non monogamy.
Speaker 6: Going back to your like beginning beginnings of like just
Speaker 6: like the idea between couples and singles and like thropilism
Speaker 6: and polyamory on TV, and this being like the representation
Speaker 6: of it, there's a lot that holds it back because
Speaker 6: of form. Unfortunately, so it turns into almost like yes,
Speaker 6: this is a dating show, but then it becomes almost
Speaker 6: like a game show aspect where it's like you'reopping and
Speaker 6: you're choosing, so then singles are getting like objectified and
Speaker 6: like even though yeah, and they absolutely did, and that's
Speaker 6: what sucks. And so when we're in the situation, of
Speaker 6: course we're treating everyone with like as much humanity. We
Speaker 6: really want to get to know everybody. But the thing
Speaker 6: is you're in that resort, the singles come in, you
Speaker 6: have three hours until the gong goes, and then you
Speaker 6: don't get to see the singles anymore. So you're just
Speaker 6: trying to like have a connection, but it's it's swiping.
Speaker 5: Exactly.
Speaker 2: So oh wait, so keep going. So we saw something,
Speaker 2: so she perceived it.
Speaker 6: So that's kind of like the reality of the situation,
Speaker 6: which holds it back from the true beauty. I feel
Speaker 6: like of polyamory and of ethical non monogamy is that
Speaker 6: tryads truthfully are one of the hardest dynamics in polyamory,
Speaker 6: is it even? I think it's because yeah, it's this
Speaker 6: idea of like equal love, but it's also this idea
Speaker 6: of like, you have two main partners that you're also
Speaker 6: trying to cater to. But then my connection with Ash
Speaker 6: is one thing, but my connection with this person is
Speaker 6: another thing. And then the three of us, and then
Speaker 6: if there's one riff, then like this, it's a support.
Speaker 6: But then it can also become like talk shit to
Speaker 6: somebody and then you and your best friend makeup, and
Speaker 6: then you just made this person hate this person because
Speaker 6: you talked shit to them about how they treat And
Speaker 6: I feel like it creates a lot of that in
Speaker 6: a threatle. It's that kind of energy. Now when Darien right,
Speaker 6: so like we had that experience with Darien in the
Speaker 6: real world, had we been able to explore something with
Speaker 6: Darien that is absolutely ethical if everyone is like aware
Speaker 6: about it, and if Darian had the opportunity to be
Speaker 6: with us as well as being with Britney and Sean,
Speaker 6: and then getting into the edits, the edits, I mean
Speaker 6: naturally reality TV, there's so much that happens that you
Speaker 6: can't see. And of course we got our villain at
Speaker 6: it in there and that's okay, and they needed to
Speaker 6: make it dramatic, and I love that you caught this,
Speaker 6: but we noticed it too. We're like, our problems in
Speaker 6: the resort were not with each other everyone else because
Speaker 6: already only they no I know, yeah, and I were
Speaker 6: already non monogamous so we've already dealt with the idea
Speaker 6: of jealousy.
Speaker 5: You guys look like people and hooking up with each other.
Speaker 1: Why when you came in, I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that experience too is interesting, right, And I gotta say,
Speaker 1: like a lot of the things that you didn't like
Speaker 1: when you watched it, I was like, Oh, this is
Speaker 1: so real. You have the couple that Brittany John, the
Speaker 1: black couple with anyone watching and can't remember their names
Speaker 1: kind of want to try it. Then you have the
Speaker 1: one that the white couple that that have been married
Speaker 1: for years. They look like they just fucked people and
Speaker 1: have fun.
Speaker 2: Yep. And I was like that was all there was. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they looked like that.
Speaker 6: So now they're coming into polyamoryan where they have to
Speaker 6: care about people's feelings, emotions, and generally.
Speaker 2: Speaking, when people are queer or have a flexible gender identity,
Speaker 2: you just know they're going to be more well versed.
Speaker 2: And I think that that probably had something to do
Speaker 2: with it.
Speaker 1: But even right now, right I'm watching this show with
Speaker 1: a partner I'm dating, and every single week I'm like, huh,
Speaker 1: who would I be? Who would the person be? And
Speaker 1: when I'm watching you two. I literally said to him, like,
Speaker 1: now we gotta be like that. This is the central relationship.
Speaker 1: I never want to be too worried about the other
Speaker 1: person to the point where you start to lose it yourselves,
Speaker 1: because that was the embarrassment in sometimes watching the other
Speaker 1: gay couple on the right, it's like you get to
Speaker 1: see this couple that was in love crumble, and I
Speaker 1: don't like seeing that because to me, it almost tells
Speaker 1: the public non monogamy is unhealthy.
Speaker 2: So you kind of gotta have this like solid have.
Speaker 6: A solid base before you someone else. And I think
Speaker 6: that's also something about our relationship is we are consistently evolving,
Speaker 6: so we start with one boundary, like from the beginning
Speaker 6: of our relationship, we can only have this many das
Speaker 6: a week or you know this many disappointments disappointments. Yeah,
Speaker 6: but like it's for anybody. So it's like if you
Speaker 6: want a DA like, oh, we'll limit it to one
Speaker 6: a week, or like what are you comfortable with? Do
Speaker 6: you want to know about it before or after? And
Speaker 6: then slowly trying things.
Speaker 2: It's true though, it's true, yes, but.
Speaker 7: You know, like okay, back in the day in corporate
Speaker 7: you know, I had my schedule.
Speaker 8: I was very like by the hour.
Speaker 7: So the fact that you bring up like one DA
Speaker 7: a week is just like so cringe.
Speaker 2: Wait tell us, what are your boundaries? How have they changed?
Speaker 7: They definitely changed from there? Oh yes, we cannot. I
Speaker 7: feel like I don't know the scheduling versus the spontaneity.
Speaker 7: There has to be a balance of both when it
Speaker 7: comes to like us kind of want pursue that sexual drive.
Speaker 6: Especially from my way of getting about like quick hookups
Speaker 6: and ashes way about getting hookups, Like it's very different.
Speaker 4: I mean, I think they're just different for men in
Speaker 4: comparison to like even if you're looking for men, they
Speaker 4: want to sooner, right yeah, the women the glory hole
Speaker 4: like grinder.
Speaker 7: I don't want to go on the hinge jet because
Speaker 7: that's who much works, and I just want to quick
Speaker 7: as well sometimes, but there's always ones.
Speaker 2: What build What are the current boundaries you have together?
Speaker 3: For?
Speaker 5: What are.
Speaker 2: I'm just looking confused.
Speaker 4: Hold on, hold on, I got a question that might
Speaker 4: be a boundary. Hold on, And this is just a
Speaker 4: spicy beau, because y'all are just so perfect. Here we go,
Speaker 4: here we go.
Speaker 5: And I found them.
Speaker 2: It was like, oh, here to go.
Speaker 4: So you both are probably open deal with same sex,
Speaker 4: opposite sex.
Speaker 2: It's whoever you fall in love with.
Speaker 4: So you also meet people, maybe without each other, and
Speaker 4: that's allowed. This is a question for both of you.
Speaker 4: Your partner says they met someone out and about. This
Speaker 4: could be a club, this could be in a work environment,
Speaker 4: This could be at a goddamn bookstore. They have a
Speaker 4: one night stand with this person and come to share
Speaker 4: with you how absolutely incredible it is. Okay, they finally
Speaker 4: share with you who they are and you find out
Speaker 4: that it's your first cousin. Oh god, I would love
Speaker 4: to know again, because the world is small. You show
Speaker 4: them the Facebook, the Instagram, and you're like, bitch, that
Speaker 4: is my family member.
Speaker 5: Okay, I want to know how you respond.
Speaker 4: So if they're allowed to keep sucking your first cousin,
Speaker 4: we're talking about boundaries here.
Speaker 2: What's the response here?
Speaker 5: In our relationship?
Speaker 2: Are your nails white and black?
Speaker 5: Yeah? They are?
Speaker 7: So?
Speaker 2: Are your so?
Speaker 6: In our current relationship in a perfect world, right for
Speaker 6: both being good girls and boys, we always talk to
Speaker 6: each other before ever like being sexual with.
Speaker 2: Someone, pictures and everything.
Speaker 6: Though, No, it's more like if ash were out at
Speaker 6: a club, and let's say I'm not there or I'm
Speaker 6: traveling and they're like, hey, like I want to go
Speaker 6: out tonight and maybe meet someone.
Speaker 5: I'm like, yeah, go do it, do your thing.
Speaker 6: Or if they meet someone and then text me like,
Speaker 6: hey I met someone, is it okay? If this happens,
Speaker 6: and then me in the moment, I'm like, okay, let
Speaker 6: me assess. Can I support this? Yes, like, go off, girl,
Speaker 6: have your fun. And so then finding out that it's
Speaker 6: the first cousin or like my extrava brother, I think naturally,
Speaker 6: there's always gonna be jealousy, especially I found when we're apart,
Speaker 6: like there's so much more jealousy when we have our
Speaker 6: own hookups than when we are together.
Speaker 1: Yeah right, I mean, of course, but that is a
Speaker 1: great point, you said sending pictures first. So we're in
Speaker 1: the middle of writing this book, and I realized with
Speaker 1: my ex girlfriend, something we enjoyed was like doing it
Speaker 1: at the same time. She and I would be out
Speaker 1: at the same time. I'd be like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I just met so and so, and it's just basic.
Speaker 1: Haven't we did do it much? But that was the
Speaker 1: most fun and it felt like, oh, now we can come.
Speaker 2: Together about it. But when you're doing this, do you
Speaker 2: get to bring them home? You guys share a home.
Speaker 5: Like, what's that like?
Speaker 9: Right?
Speaker 7: So it's more I feel like, Okay, if one of
Speaker 7: us is at home, the default probably option would be
Speaker 7: you're traveling, you're gonna go to their place.
Speaker 8: We're not hosting.
Speaker 7: Oh, but if it's some of them, maybe would also
Speaker 7: interest me. And I'm the one at home and Maxi's
Speaker 7: out and saying like, oh, I'm having this great time.
Speaker 7: Sometimes it can end with can you bring them home?
Speaker 7: And then we'll have our like a little moment together
Speaker 7: if they're all okay with it. But I feel like
Speaker 7: it has been very much. We always try to if
Speaker 7: the jealousy comes up or something, we'll also express that
Speaker 7: and we'll be like, ooh, I think maybe that's because
Speaker 7: I'm just like, I recognize that would be really fun
Speaker 7: for me, and you know what, at that point, you
Speaker 7: should enjoy that, And so we like process that one
Speaker 7: out together. But what if though, we didn't have thepportunity
Speaker 7: to tell each other and it was just like in
Speaker 7: the moment, sexy hot.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, that's what I'm saying. For being good boys
Speaker 6: and girls that would never happen, but life happens. Things happen,
Speaker 6: and if that did, of course there's gonna be a conversation.
Speaker 6: There's gonna be jealousy. But I think that's the moment
Speaker 6: where I take off my partner hat and I put
Speaker 6: on my best friend hat and I'm like, Okay, how
Speaker 6: can I be like Kei Ki Maxi.
Speaker 5: Right now?
Speaker 6: Like you know, that's how I want to show up
Speaker 6: for in supporting like yes, like it was amazing, Like bitch,
Speaker 6: what did you do? Did he eat your ass? Like
Speaker 6: did you take it all? Did you pegnam? Like I'm
Speaker 6: the one when whenever Ash has a hookup, I'm like, bitch,
Speaker 6: tummy eth and Ashes like no, like I want to
Speaker 6: like keep it to myself like sometimes and Ash sometimes
Speaker 6: when I have a hookup, They're like, I don't want
Speaker 6: to know anything.
Speaker 4: Really, I think I think there is there is a
Speaker 4: difference in receiving information.
Speaker 2: Put y'all make sure you get your tickets now.
Speaker 4: So May fifth, we are at the Earth Theater in
Speaker 4: London's and we made this a specific request to be
Speaker 4: in London on the weekend so that are all of
Speaker 4: our euro people can come and see this. We want
Speaker 4: our whole euro people Europe and okay, europeal pull whatever,
Speaker 4: all the black people that live over there, just take
Speaker 4: that another fucking Eurostar and come and see us.
Speaker 2: We're gonna be there. May fifth.
Speaker 1: We are having a whole new show, one that you
Speaker 1: didn't see. This is a part of the Climax tour.
Speaker 1: So even if you were on the Climax Tour and
Speaker 1: you need a little trip, it's gonna be warmer, it's
Speaker 1: gonna be fun.
Speaker 2: Come through and see a that's right.
Speaker 4: Make sure you head on over to horehive dot com
Speaker 4: and get your tickets. Now, I think what I love
Speaker 4: without even us falling into there, I had a vanilla shit.
Speaker 4: The vanilla shit is actually that fomo is actually related
Speaker 4: to sex. So what y'all are saying and fear of
Speaker 4: missing out y'all know, we talk about fomo whether it's
Speaker 4: at a party or missing a family gathering or things
Speaker 4: like that, and fomo is actually about sex. Apparently, I
Speaker 4: want to read this comes from b vibe, but also
Speaker 4: a current research in behavioral sciences booh, not science. So
Speaker 4: researchers actually started rate three hundred and twenty seven Americans
Speaker 4: ages nineteen to sixty and measure their differences in attitudes, behaviors,
Speaker 4: and desires towards short term mating. Participants also writed statements
Speaker 4: like I can imagine myself being comfortable and enjoying casual
Speaker 4: sex with different partners between one and nine, and we're
Speaker 4: as to also rate levels of fomo to similar situations
Speaker 4: between one and five. Fomo is intrinsically linked to anxiety
Speaker 4: about missing a possibility, a possible opportunity for sex.
Speaker 5: And so if your partner, if your partner is.
Speaker 4: Having sex, that jealousy may not even come from the
Speaker 4: act that you did it, but from the fact that
Speaker 4: you weren't there, Especially as someone who enjoys having sex together.
Speaker 6: That just brought up for me, like the idea of
Speaker 6: fomo not only in sex, but how you found it
Speaker 6: or how you went about it right, because I know
Speaker 6: that Ash, And there was a time where we started
Speaker 6: to have fomo for each other's kind of ways we
Speaker 6: had to go about navigating because like me being a
Speaker 6: queer man, I can go on Grinder, I can go
Speaker 6: on Sniffies or whatever and find like somebody to hook
Speaker 6: up with, and like could be thirty minutes, could be
Speaker 6: an hour, but it could.
Speaker 5: Like very much to be that week ahead.
Speaker 6: I don't need to know your name, we don't have
Speaker 6: to exchange a word, like nothing like that bleeding this week,
Speaker 6: I gotta wait exactly, And so Ash is like, damn,
Speaker 6: I wish I could like get it that quick sometimes
Speaker 6: as like quickly have that hookup with someone, and then
Speaker 6: for me, I'm like, oh, I'm tired of these like
Speaker 6: transactional ass just boring ass like no connection hookups, Like
Speaker 6: I want to meet somebody on hinge and like talk
Speaker 6: to them a little bit and then like.
Speaker 5: Get to know that.
Speaker 1: I got a question. What about when you're ones more
Speaker 1: horny than the other, do you have to take a
Speaker 1: pause that week?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Very much.
Speaker 3: So.
Speaker 7: Actually, we actually like have some months where I'm like,
Speaker 7: this is my period week and I just need a
Speaker 7: little bit more support, And the FOMO is like, also,
Speaker 7: you know, I need you to also enjoy not doing
Speaker 7: anything right now because I'm in pain.
Speaker 2: Open and close the relationship.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 6: It's very much like a check in day of like Babe,
Speaker 6: like I'm really horny, I want a DA and they
Speaker 6: might be like, you know, I could feel it. I'm
Speaker 6: not feeling like a DA today. You go get your
Speaker 6: own da on your own. I'm like, okay, cool, or
Speaker 6: I'd be like, you know what, I just really miss us.
Speaker 6: I want to connect with us. So I'm like, okay, word,
Speaker 6: no problem, Like Dick will always be there.
Speaker 2: I need.
Speaker 5: I will a.
Speaker 2: Sexy time when it's not hard to find, not hard
Speaker 2: to time.
Speaker 1: Tell us about a sexy time where you brought someone home,
Speaker 1: maybe one of you was watching TV chilling, and then
Speaker 1: you're like, okay, I got somebody.
Speaker 8: When you weren't when we weren't together, we weren't together.
Speaker 8: Was there a time when we weren't together.
Speaker 4: You brought some I was just like, they don't be
Speaker 4: that sexy.
Speaker 7: I just.
Speaker 2: Tell us about anytime. Tell us the time where you're like, no, wait, can.
Speaker 4: We can we talk about that? Yeah, we were in
Speaker 4: a relationship where you go together. How how important is
Speaker 4: it for you to have the same type and how
Speaker 4: do you decide who compromises and who does it? Oh?
Speaker 5: I love that. I feel like.
Speaker 7: I feel like this like also just happened, but we
Speaker 7: I feel like, come to the compromise of who really
Speaker 7: gets to decide on, like who we want to explore
Speaker 7: with is more so the one that I think either
Speaker 7: proposes first, or is expressing a lot more of the horniness.
Speaker 7: And then for me, I feel like, if it's not
Speaker 7: someone I would maybe meet with alone, one on one,
Speaker 7: then we're gonna be picking options. We're gonna go through
Speaker 7: some options, we're gonna keep searching, but we're gonna keep
Speaker 7: that one as an option in the way of I
Speaker 7: see you, I see you where you're at, and this
Speaker 7: is about us, it's not just about me. And so
Speaker 7: if it happens to be that this is the person
Speaker 7: that we want to explore more with.
Speaker 4: Is this how you navigated this last one? I want
Speaker 4: to hear the most recent time y'all had to navigate this.
Speaker 5: Oh okay, come.
Speaker 2: On last night. This is posting in a month or stuff.
Speaker 4: So get story time, girl, let's let's get come on.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they're nervous. It's okay. They were ugly, but the.
Speaker 5: Wait, oh my god, so I just well I need beautiful.
Speaker 8: Okay, the dick was amazing. Eleven out of ten.
Speaker 5: Like the dick, but you know, not like to girthy
Speaker 5: where you can't like like.
Speaker 8: Deep throat that but not gag too much because it's
Speaker 8: the girth.
Speaker 2: So the dick was amazing.
Speaker 4: Let's go into why you weren't interested ash and and
Speaker 4: how y'all ended up?
Speaker 2: How Dick?
Speaker 7: So, Okay, we had met this person like months and
Speaker 7: months ago, and it was like one of those nights,
Speaker 7: and so we still had like the group chat of okay,
Speaker 7: like we're joking around with this person like they're like
Speaker 7: giving Daddy vibes, and we had this group chat still
Speaker 7: and then they just spontaneously hit us up again and
Speaker 7: sent us a beautiful Dick pic And it was there
Speaker 7: in that moment, Max was like, oh, I remember this one,
Speaker 7: like this is remember and I'm like.
Speaker 8: Yeah, but remember how like it's.
Speaker 7: Been months because I have those X Like we had
Speaker 7: those ex about things that they like noises they would make,
Speaker 7: or like names that they would call us.
Speaker 2: Do we hear the noises?
Speaker 4: Like what not?
Speaker 2: What kind of do we hear the noises? That turned you?
Speaker 9: Well?
Speaker 2: What is like me?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 9: And I was like ye, But then I was like
Speaker 9: I'm like oh and me making out with them didn't
Speaker 9: how it was like still making the noises, kissing yeah, wait.
Speaker 2: Like grunting like oh I hate the animal girl.
Speaker 10: Hate it.
Speaker 6: But you sound like you're going like you're really stimulated and.
Speaker 7: It's like now kind of performative. I don't know, you
Speaker 7: seem like you need to just chill for a bit, dick.
Speaker 5: So so he hit us though.
Speaker 8: He hit us up, and in that moment last night,
Speaker 8: I was like, yeah, it is.
Speaker 5: A really great day you we're about to do your skincare.
Speaker 7: I was about to do my skincare and I'm like,
Speaker 7: I'm so tired. But then I know and recognize Maxie,
Speaker 7: you know, for the last twenty two days, was like,
Speaker 7: you know, I'm feeling some dick, and I'm like, yesterday
Speaker 7: was a rough day for me at work, so we
Speaker 7: didn't get to leave for that. Okay, I feel like
Speaker 7: I can show up right now. This is so convenient.
Speaker 7: The dick is there and I can forget some X
Speaker 7: at a time. So that's when we compromise, and I'm like,
Speaker 7: all right, we're not doing the skincare yet, let's hop
Speaker 7: them over.
Speaker 6: We're like you and we then we're like compromising, So
Speaker 6: how long is this going to be. We're like, let's
Speaker 6: make it clear, we only have thirty minutes, like we're
Speaker 6: taxing them. We are getting ready for bad minutes. Our
Speaker 6: cutoff time. It's twelve fifty eight. I love that you
Speaker 6: gotta go. Were just like haying around like okay, like
Speaker 6: you should go. Instead, it could be like, oh my god,
Speaker 6: it's left I'm feeling it. If we're really feeling it,
Speaker 6: we can be like, oh it's okay.
Speaker 2: I feel really good.
Speaker 7: Right.
Speaker 4: So I have a question before we get into our
Speaker 4: ward because this was information shared on the show, and
Speaker 4: I don't want to really even get much into the
Speaker 4: show as much as I like, no, girl, just say
Speaker 4: because I don't want to ask, we don't want to ask.
Speaker 2: Let's be very clear, you really want to Let's be
Speaker 2: very clear.
Speaker 4: So it was announced that you first and only bottomed
Speaker 4: for Ash.
Speaker 6: My god, people don't believe that.
Speaker 5: Okay to talk about it.
Speaker 4: Mind you you saying you're talking about beautiful and Biden.
Speaker 2: A legendly.
Speaker 9: Now.
Speaker 6: So that's the thing is like before, And it's interesting
Speaker 6: because before Ash, I would hook up with guys, but
Speaker 6: I would be more like, you know, like no kissing bro,
Speaker 6: like you know, like we're just like sucking each other's dicks,
Speaker 6: being doing like for play. I never even really was
Speaker 6: too into topping guys. Honestly, I hadn't got over my
Speaker 6: fear of the anus.
Speaker 5: I guess you said you.
Speaker 2: Had a lot of girlfriends another kind of makes sense.
Speaker 6: Yeah, So, like I knew my way around pussy, no problem,
Speaker 6: but it was like when it came to guys, the
Speaker 6: dick very familiar, the booty hole, that's where I get scared, right.
Speaker 6: And so then after being with Ash and really education
Speaker 6: and then I remember I had a roommate at the
Speaker 6: time that taught me like, no, you don't just like
Speaker 6: bottom out of nowhere like you have to like do
Speaker 6: she had to clean yourself out. And so they taught
Speaker 6: me what that was like. And so we spoke about it. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 6: So Ash picked out a new little toy, new strap on.
Speaker 4: You picked it out and didn't let Maximo pick his
Speaker 4: size that he felt comfortable with.
Speaker 5: We start later.
Speaker 8: We started with it was like just like a let's
Speaker 8: try it out.
Speaker 5: I have, but not in.
Speaker 7: A way that I feel like really turns it with
Speaker 7: Maxie when it's it's very gender for me when Maxie
Speaker 7: and I like have that moment and I strap up.
Speaker 7: But prior to MAXI it's just feeling like very that
Speaker 7: top mask energy. Now it's like it feels like I'm
Speaker 7: connected to this bitch still do and it's like very beautiful.
Speaker 7: Sometimes I come faster with a dildo on versus without,
Speaker 7: and it's like crazy.
Speaker 5: It's all psychological, like can com.
Speaker 8: And that's like you're not even you know.
Speaker 5: Emotion Maximo, just sucking this.
Speaker 8: But I'm actually like it.
Speaker 7: Takes me time. So that's why I kind of gagged
Speaker 7: the first time. I was like, wait did I It did?
Speaker 6: And you just started leaking between your I love them
Speaker 6: because connected.
Speaker 4: Not only connected, I'm sure it's also which I'm a
Speaker 4: very visual person, the simulation and so how I like
Speaker 4: watching corners?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, motherfucker called me basic conrol.
Speaker 4: I like the boyer, but also watching watching someone somewhat
Speaker 4: devour you. You take that control in a position that
Speaker 4: most women don't get to sight.
Speaker 7: Which is why the gag of all gags is when
Speaker 7: we do glory holes and you're like, you never see
Speaker 7: a pussy in that hole?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 4: Can we hear about the gloryholes? I know we talked
Speaker 4: about bushit, but wait the glory holes? So oh wait,
Speaker 4: let me finish off the strap on real quick? Okay, Okay,
Speaker 4: So then ash got the strap on.
Speaker 6: They took my virginity because essentially, for me, I never
Speaker 6: wanted to bottom for a guy because I just never
Speaker 6: wanted to give a guy that side of me personally.
Speaker 6: I got really close with this guy that I started dating,
Speaker 6: and I had thought about possibly bottoming, but it just
Speaker 6: never happened. And so with Ash, after falling in love,
Speaker 6: I'm like, Okay, finally I feel safe enough for someone
Speaker 6: to like take my flower, you know what I mean.
Speaker 6: And so she did and after that, now I've been
Speaker 6: able to like experience dick and I don't feel like
Speaker 6: attached to it. I'm like, girl, like, that's just another dick.
Speaker 6: Like it's not the same. It's not the.
Speaker 5: Same as like to it. It's another dick it is. Yeah.
Speaker 5: So now getting into gloryholes, you both do gloriholes together,
Speaker 5: you know, Okay.
Speaker 7: So I started with having that little fomo jealousy of
Speaker 7: how quick you can get it with like these different apps,
Speaker 7: and one yes, very gender for me for me to
Speaker 7: also not be playing on these apps, and also to
Speaker 7: the fact that I can, like, I don't know, experience
Speaker 7: something that's.
Speaker 5: Very gay culture gloryholes.
Speaker 7: Right, So I expressed one day when we have now
Speaker 7: moved in together, like, you know, it would be really
Speaker 7: hot if we like set one up here and nego
Speaker 7: like talked about it with someone.
Speaker 5: Slow down with this goddamn story.
Speaker 4: So you didn't go anywhere in bushwell, you set updamn glory,
Speaker 4: set one up home.
Speaker 5: Let's let's let's get into that and scene. How do
Speaker 5: you build it? How do you set it up?
Speaker 7: We have the front door, got it, yeah, and we
Speaker 7: got all the clan, like big clans, like the very
Speaker 7: big one, so.
Speaker 2: Like for when you're doing a photo shoot.
Speaker 6: Yeah, exactly, okay, And so we clamp a bed sheet
Speaker 6: and took bed sheets and we cut a hole in
Speaker 6: it at the right height, and so we clamp it
Speaker 6: up onto our like I'm doing this and then on
Speaker 6: to our like you know.
Speaker 8: The one of the doors just.
Speaker 6: Like a support. So literally you walk in our front door.
Speaker 6: We shut all the lights off before, play a little music.
Speaker 6: We might live water or if I have some drink
Speaker 6: maybe like a little rum or something and a glass,
Speaker 6: I'm for you to drink whatever you want. And then
Speaker 6: we'll find somebody. We obviously we let them know where
Speaker 6: MF couple is what we say online because we don't
Speaker 6: want to confuse anybody. And then if they're interested, we'll
Speaker 6: be like yeah, like come stop drop by.
Speaker 5: This t it's a knock? Was there a certain knock
Speaker 5: that well?
Speaker 6: Was? The funny thing is you have to go through
Speaker 6: our security to go downstairs.
Speaker 7: So this guy so they don't know your names, but
Speaker 7: they know where you live, and they want to come up,
Speaker 7: and we're like, yeah, that's right up.
Speaker 5: That's them.
Speaker 8: Let them up, and then they'll knock.
Speaker 7: Maxie opens the door through this little hole and then
Speaker 7: we're on the other side and they can they just
Speaker 7: now like be undressed. We've already talked about the fact
Speaker 7: that we're okay with like receiving servicing, et cetera.
Speaker 4: The do what you are performing oral on these or
Speaker 4: did you bend over with your whole take it?
Speaker 5: I've been yet. Actually I know I haven't taken anything. Yeah,
Speaker 5: through the glory hole, but I haven't. But through the
Speaker 5: glory hole.
Speaker 6: Typically, it's funny because when we're finding people online, first
Speaker 6: of all, they're gagging. They're like, wait, it's like it's
Speaker 6: a guy and a girl, can you send me pictures
Speaker 6: of the pussy? And then I'm like, they're not sending
Speaker 6: you nudes. They're like, well, how am I going to
Speaker 6: know it's it's a girl and the other and We're
Speaker 6: like me, you can eat first when you get here
Speaker 6: you want, and they're like yeah, sure. So as soon
Speaker 6: as they get there, they're like, yeah, let me like
Speaker 6: let me eat her pussy, and we're like okay. And
Speaker 6: then they got and like okay, and then they're getting off.
Speaker 6: Now the guys they're getting off to not only being
Speaker 6: like pleasure through the gloryhole, but they're like, oh my god,
Speaker 6: there's a guy and girl and sometimes they'll be like okay,
Speaker 6: now now her second, Okay, now give it back to him.
Speaker 6: It's like, you know, it's really hot, like super cute,
Speaker 6: and you don't got to see their face.
Speaker 1: Even a threesome, but not having a three, you don't
Speaker 1: know what they look like.
Speaker 5: And just they just you ever see their pictures?
Speaker 8: I usually don't want to. The fantasy is that I
Speaker 8: don't see them.
Speaker 5: Yeah, ash like yeah, boy doesn't like.
Speaker 7: To see that because if I see the face, then
Speaker 7: it's going to take longer to search, you know what
Speaker 7: I mean.
Speaker 5: It's true, like.
Speaker 8: What I'm here for the place.
Speaker 7: Convenience so nice, like so the gloryhole makes sense because
Speaker 7: now we all win.
Speaker 8: But that's that was really.
Speaker 2: They ever wanted to come around the curtain.
Speaker 6: Now, we had one guy where where he started to
Speaker 6: like reach behind the curtain.
Speaker 8: And we're like, no, no, this is my.
Speaker 5: Thanks God, we've never had that happen yet.
Speaker 6: But yeah, we're just we are also.
Speaker 2: Not living life bit and y'all thought we was home.
Speaker 5: We're very selective. They are selective. They keep us safe.
Speaker 2: Nice, but it's.
Speaker 6: Like, you know, it's dedicated search time and like as
Speaker 6: soon as something that like turns you off for like,
Speaker 6: oh no, like this just doesn't feel right before.
Speaker 2: We get out of here.
Speaker 4: For people who may be as adventurous as y'all in
Speaker 4: couple format wanting to inviit strangers, how do you keep
Speaker 4: yourself safe?
Speaker 5: How do you what? What protective measures.
Speaker 2: Do you have? You have a gun? Probably not, don't
Speaker 2: say if you do, because but how.
Speaker 4: Do you protect yourself if someone is coming and maybe
Speaker 4: predatory or not.
Speaker 6: First of all, communication obviously, trust your gut. If you
Speaker 6: ever feel anything that's like unsafe, even in just chat,
Speaker 6: like you have every right to just blast, like you
Speaker 6: don't have to talk to anybody, and people start to
Speaker 6: get defensive or feel entitled to your time, that's a
Speaker 6: very big red flag for me.
Speaker 5: I'm like nope, no, thank you.
Speaker 6: Also, we're very fortunate to live in a nice building
Speaker 6: with the doorman, so we have that security. We have cameras,
Speaker 6: like there's kind of that stuff. But then also communicating
Speaker 6: with each other like are you getting tested, when's the
Speaker 6: last time you were tested?
Speaker 5: Do you practice safe sex?
Speaker 6: A lot of gays around prep and now they do
Speaker 6: like doxy PAP, So just like communicating that and then
Speaker 6: us making sure that we're staying on our testing like
Speaker 6: every two to three months, just like getting our rounds,
Speaker 6: checking it out so that we're staying honest and safe
Speaker 6: with other people.
Speaker 5: I love that and shout out.
Speaker 7: Actually, Chelsea Express Health Clinic they do free testings and
Speaker 7: it's the same day results free and Chelsea Baby where
Speaker 7: Chelsea Health Express clinicance?
Speaker 2: Is it in Chelsea? Yeah? It is because the way
Speaker 2: I've been paying two point fifty know they're good.
Speaker 8: That's what I mean.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is the wait long.
Speaker 7: No, so you gotta go at eight am open and
Speaker 7: you'll be fine, and you just have to.
Speaker 5: Anyway, I've been taking my coffee ship, but I just.
Speaker 6: Want honestly, if you go a little later, just you'll
Speaker 6: know you're in the right place because you'll see a
Speaker 6: line of but queens.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's Chelsea.
Speaker 5: Clinics.
Speaker 2: But it's that easy. I don't want to there. Calm down,
Speaker 2: let me go get my test in the queen first, right.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 1: I know you. Literally my man went to go get
Speaker 1: tested at the playing parent her. The other was like,
Speaker 1: let's start with some fresh results. And I was thinking
Speaker 1: I never had to get an abortion as much as
Speaker 1: we talk about this ship because I've been to the
Speaker 1: guy I know, the walking empty where they've known me,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, where.
Speaker 2: Am I going to get the abortion when I don't
Speaker 2: know me?
Speaker 1: I know that sounds crazy. I'm not planning it like
Speaker 1: a birthday party. I'm just saying if I had to.
Speaker 5: I'm not trying to be said, Oh, I ain't gonna
Speaker 5: hold you.
Speaker 4: I actually was trying to go out to like Queens
Speaker 4: where I don't want to say your people, but I
Speaker 4: don't want to be around we're all let me Todd,
Speaker 4: I don't want to.
Speaker 2: Run across no matter. You gotta go up to Yeah,
Speaker 2: d girls trip, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Girls trip for test results before we gave here though.
Speaker 1: Family planning, do you guys want to have kids?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 7: Ashes, actually yeah, we're trying to figure that out more seriously,
Speaker 7: so me getting healthcare now, I'm gonna like try to
Speaker 7: look at freezing my eggs and I feel like that's
Speaker 7: just naturally like having the option to give life, like
Speaker 7: that would be amazing. But I just feel like at
Speaker 7: that time being trans masked being pregnant. I mean, that's
Speaker 7: like I'm God like that would be amazing.
Speaker 1: But both I'm gonna say this though, it's crazy freezing
Speaker 1: your eggs while having a partner. No one talks about that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they always think, oh, you're lucky you have someone. What
Speaker 1: a great thing to hear come out of your mouth.
Speaker 1: For real, because so many women are watching this and
Speaker 1: thinking they have to freeze because they're single, not because
Speaker 1: they have they haven't enjoyed their relationship.
Speaker 4: Let's be very clear politically, we are in an election year.
Speaker 4: There are certain states now looking to literally remove the
Speaker 4: option of freezing eggs because they say that it's.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 4: But Bushwick, we we I we we need a part two,
Speaker 4: even if when you guys have one, but if not
Speaker 4: with love a part two, even if we do Patreon,
Speaker 4: but also.
Speaker 2: I have your email. I want to come to the
Speaker 2: next Lucia party. I haven't been to a queer party.
Speaker 7: Next month there will be more to come. I'll be
Speaker 7: on Instagram talking about it. But I'm actually meeting with
Speaker 7: morgana tomorrow talk.
Speaker 2: And thank you you're saying yes, by the way, I
Speaker 2: did not expect you to say.
Speaker 5: I got Are you kidding?
Speaker 8: Are you kidding?
Speaker 1: I think reality TV people are very The network really
Speaker 1: freaks them out from exploring. And also you don't know
Speaker 1: what someone's trying to do.
Speaker 4: So I really appreciate you see you know and be
Speaker 4: prepared for everyone to hit your dms trying to fuck.
Speaker 4: I would love though, for your next party opening it
Speaker 4: up to our Patreon community. Just invite more before high members.
Speaker 4: They're definitely familiar with Susia. Susia has also been featured
Speaker 4: on Sex Cells her Sean Fuse. So love creating like
Speaker 4: more of an ecosystem of a more more people that
Speaker 4: understand this lifestyle, that are exploring this lifestyle and it
Speaker 4: truly can be open to being comfortable with more.
Speaker 2: Like minded people.
Speaker 5: Absolutely, So if you can, can you let everyone know
Speaker 5: where they can follow you and spot in them d ms?
Speaker 8: Yes, you can catch me on Instagram at eat my
Speaker 8: Ash Lee, wait, wait for real?
Speaker 9: Yeah, that is I.
Speaker 7: I was dying for like two days when I thought, okay,
Speaker 7: this is it and I was like to do a
Speaker 7: great time I say it, I'm like, oh that makes
Speaker 7: me really happy.
Speaker 5: It's like how I felt.
Speaker 2: But we came up with horrible decisions like it's good
Speaker 2: everybody named pissat.
Speaker 5: Great Maximo and I am maximum extravaganza.
Speaker 2: It's okay, it's.
Speaker 5: What's what's par two? We gotta do this.
Speaker 6: But absolutely, if you're out there, if you're in New York,
Speaker 6: if you want to experience a queer play party, a
Speaker 6: truly queer play party, and a safe space, Susia and
Speaker 6: Susia queer, just to give you an idea, you have
Speaker 6: like a mixer, then you have a consent speech where
Speaker 6: then we talk about the rules of the space and
Speaker 6: then we open it up to like safe play. But
Speaker 6: it's very much about enthusiastic consent and decolonizing like race,
Speaker 6: sex and gender. So honestly, that's.
Speaker 2: A very decolonizing couch.
Speaker 5: Very much and Ash, thank you so much for joining
Speaker 5: us here on horrible decisions. Thanks.
Speaker 4: I don't know if you want more information about their
Speaker 4: parties or also our bonus content. Make sure you join
Speaker 4: us at patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions. If you're
Speaker 4: on our YouTube, you may be able to watch some
Speaker 4: clips as well as listen to a clip right after
Speaker 4: this episode. But thank you guys for supporting. Thank you
Speaker 4: guys for listening. This has been yet another episode of
Speaker 4: Horrible Decisions.
Speaker 2: See you in London. Bye, hey guys.
Speaker 4: We are super super excited to be announcing that we
Speaker 4: are part of the second annual Block Effect Festival in Atlanta, Georgia.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a wild and brand new show that
Speaker 1: you didn't see last year. We're so excited to be
Speaker 1: back with our atl family and our Blacksheed family.
Speaker 5: That's right.
Speaker 4: So the date is Saturday, April the twenty seventh. Make
Speaker 4: sure you head on over to block Effect dot com
Speaker 4: and get your tickets now.
Speaker 1: See this one of our most popular episodes you've ever had.
Speaker 1: We're guests with disabilities, and I think it's because.
Speaker 2: You know, everybody's curious.
Speaker 1: We all want to know, and it's like this is
Speaker 1: like our secret way of figuring out this is your
Speaker 1: dick work.
Speaker 10: You hear man, I don't want to keep it focky
Speaker 10: with you listen, I back. I was final core injury.
Speaker 11: When I was eighteen, I was in a football scholarship
Speaker 11: and a lady was texting and driving and ran me
Speaker 11: off the road right after practice and I broke my
Speaker 11: naked two places.
Speaker 2: Now your name is Fletcher. Let's start with that.
Speaker 10: Fletcher.
Speaker 1: You're known on IG as Rolling on Faith, but some
Speaker 1: people call you the wheelchair nomad.
Speaker 2: Is that right?
Speaker 9: Yeah?
Speaker 10: Correct? Correct?
Speaker 11: Yeah, i' obtain a nickname the wheelchair Nomad because I
Speaker 11: do a lot of traveling and moving and grooving.
Speaker 2: How long have you been to say, like, how old
Speaker 2: are you?
Speaker 10: I'm thirty one, twelve twelve, my birthday coming up thirty two,
Speaker 10: I know, right, getting old? Getting oh for real, for real?
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: You said, like, you know, the texting and driving, which
Speaker 1: is so crazy because we we take for granted so much,
Speaker 1: like we're like technology, you know what I mean, and
Speaker 1: like actually having an experience just to drive and not
Speaker 1: text people can't do anymore. When it happened to you,
Speaker 1: did you think that there was a chance that you
Speaker 1: would walk again?
Speaker 9: Like?
Speaker 2: What was that experience?
Speaker 9: Like?
Speaker 11: Oh, well, of course, you know, saying being eighteen years young,
Speaker 11: you have the idealization like, damn, like I really can't walk,
Speaker 11: you know what I'm saying, And especially being an athlete,
Speaker 11: like I've rely on my physical capabilities my entire life,
Speaker 11: and I was blessed enough to receive a football scholarship.
Speaker 11: And then when my physical ability was taken away, I
Speaker 11: was like, damn, what I'm gonna do now? But you know,
Speaker 11: fortunately my parents are still education inside of me. So
Speaker 11: I went back to college and got a degree in
Speaker 11: computer science. But it was it was tough in the beginning,
Speaker 11: and because that's the main goal, It's like, all right,
Speaker 11: I need to walk.
Speaker 10: I need to walk. I need to walk. I need
Speaker 10: to walk. But then you start to learn what it
Speaker 10: really means to be paralyzed. It was like, before I walked,
Speaker 10: maybe I she'll learn how to put my shirt on first,
Speaker 10: Maybe she'll learn how to give myself dressed. You know,
Speaker 10: it's like levels to it. It ain't just like not
Speaker 10: being able to walk.
Speaker 1: What were basic things that you like that were super
Speaker 1: frustrated And I'm sure you know. I mean it's been
Speaker 1: what twelve thirteen.
Speaker 10: Years now, thirteen years?
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: What was something basic that you were like, fuck, I
Speaker 1: can't do this, And it was difficult for you basic
Speaker 1: needs with yourself in.
Speaker 11: The beginning of like now that I'm thirty thirty one,
Speaker 11: because it changed throughout the times, does so like you know,
Speaker 11: like being honest, like when I was eighteen, I got
Speaker 11: hurt and then you paralyzed.
Speaker 10: First day eighteen yard think can I still have six?
Speaker 10: Like that's the first day you started thinking that?
Speaker 2: Was you fucking that young?
Speaker 10: When did you start fucking now that? You can't tell nobody,
Speaker 10: But I lost my virginia at fourteen.
Speaker 2: That ain't that man?
Speaker 10: Wow, it is that was too young to be doing
Speaker 10: what I was doing. I never forget boys, it's best. Yeah.
Speaker 10: I got here for the first time in seventh grade
Speaker 10: and I lost my virginia in the eighth grade.
Speaker 2: Yep, that's not about you didn't think it is your
Speaker 2: dick on work? But did it work?
Speaker 10: What's so? That's what you know?
Speaker 11: You go to the doctors and they give you all
Speaker 11: you know, the blue diamonds and all see alicis and
Speaker 11: all that stuff.
Speaker 10: So you know, everybody's body is different. So what it
Speaker 10: might work to oh, yeah, you get it right to it? Well,
Speaker 10: I was still fresh in my injury.
Speaker 11: So like after like a year of like, all right,
Speaker 11: before you start thinking about that, let's work on therapy,
Speaker 11: you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: So after that accident, you went a year then not
Speaker 5: having sex because they wanted to.
Speaker 10: Yeah, I would say, I would say like a year.
Speaker 10: I would say, like a year and a half. Yeah,
Speaker 10: did you did you have.
Speaker 4: Any xs that you was fucking before the injury that
Speaker 4: came back and fucked you after the injury?
Speaker 10: Now to give you pity, no, not not not not
Speaker 10: before and not before and after. I wish, but not
Speaker 10: before and after.
Speaker 11: So like, unfortunately the situation I was involved in, just
Speaker 11: being young, she ended up breaking up with me when
Speaker 11: I was in the hospital.
Speaker 10: And uh no she didn't. I won't even call her that.
Speaker 10: She she good people.
Speaker 2: She was just young. How did she do it? How
Speaker 2: does she do it?
Speaker 9: No?
Speaker 5: Fuck her?
Speaker 10: See, I ain't that type of nigga. I can't do
Speaker 10: it like that, Like I can't. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 10: I can do it. That's still my homie.
Speaker 11: She was just like because I was a freshman in college,
Speaker 11: she was a senior in high school, and she was
Speaker 11: just like, you know, Flitch, everybody's been coming up to
Speaker 11: me house, Flitch house, flitch.
Speaker 10: I've had to shake into therapy.
Speaker 5: I can't.
Speaker 11: I just need a break from everything, you know. I
Speaker 11: think it's the best if we just, you know, take
Speaker 11: some time apart. And I was like, bitch, I mean
Speaker 11: I see you, Like I didn't what like, this ain't
Speaker 11: the time for this at least wait till I got
Speaker 11: to the regular room that far.
Speaker 10: I'm like, she could have waited a little bit when
Speaker 10: I get it, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 11: Like, plus being that quote unquote star athlete and then
Speaker 11: being paralyzed, you think, you know, she eighteen, She don't
Speaker 11: have to take care of this nigga.
Speaker 10: She don't have to do this, She don't have to
Speaker 10: do that. But then the nigga bossed up and was like, Okay,
Speaker 10: damn matn flesh, you right here doing these things