WEBVTT - Ep. 362: Couple to Throuple (Ft. Maximo & Ash) 0:00:02.600 --> 0:00:04.240 Guess what decision We're about to make? 0:00:04.720 --> 0:00:09.680 Horrible decision? How do everybody? 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:11.959 We have the Horrible Decisions podcast, and we are going 0:00:12.000 --> 0:00:13.960 to be in Dallas, Texas Royal Day weekend. 0:00:13.960 --> 0:00:16.279 Bitch is a Sunday. We're gonna be headlining the two 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:18.639 Togetherland Festival. And you bitches better than I. How no 0:00:18.680 --> 0:00:20.560 motherfucker work on Sunday? Call out? 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:20.640 Ho? 0:00:21.760 --> 0:00:23.799 I mean you could do that. But also it's a 0:00:23.840 --> 0:00:26.360 three day weekend. They have Monday off. We will see 0:00:26.360 --> 0:00:29.400 you guys in Dallas, Texas at the together Land Festival. 0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:31.639 Make sure you get your tickets now. We will be 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:35.959 live on the podcast stage. That's May twenty six. Get 0:00:35.960 --> 0:00:41.240 your tickets now at togetherland dot com. Hey guys, welcome 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:46.240 to another episode of Horrid Black Decisions. I'm your girl, 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:49.640 Mandy b aka Patdaaion aka Full cour Punks aka dad 0:00:49.640 --> 0:00:51.839 Bitch aka I'll fuck your mama, yo, Daddy, and your 0:00:51.880 --> 0:00:52.600 sister and your brother. 0:00:52.640 --> 0:00:53.360 What's the now? 0:00:53.360 --> 0:00:55.240 A show that I should have been cast on, as 0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:59.160 you know I was gonna turn twenty years ago. Literally 0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:01.440 all of you have written us about this show, like 0:01:01.480 --> 0:01:03.600 please do a cinema on it. But the person that 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:05.880 really put me on was Bennie. Yes, So I watched 0:01:05.880 --> 0:01:08.240 a show called A Couple of Throuple on Peacock and 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:10.760 I just wrote my favorite I didn't even ask somebody else. 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:12.280 I wrote my favorite couple on the show, which is 0:01:12.319 --> 0:01:13.880 crazy because you know you must be good when you 0:01:13.920 --> 0:01:15.199 came in in the middle. 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:19.039 Yeah, I want to say, because the show, you have 0:01:19.080 --> 0:01:20.319 to keep going to meet this couple. 0:01:20.319 --> 0:01:22.040 And then everybody was like, why didn't you invite the 0:01:22.080 --> 0:01:23.880 only one person said met Brittany and Sean because they 0:01:23.880 --> 0:01:24.440 were the black ones. 0:01:24.480 --> 0:01:29.479 I'm like, I want tea. I'm gonna be real, y'all. 0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:32.279 We have Maximo and Ash here in the motherfucker building, 0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:35.280 and I want to do that little introduction I found 0:01:35.280 --> 0:01:36.679 on the internet because it was cute, but also so 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:42.280 we could talk shit Bothy extrovert, Maximo said he's mostly 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:46.680 dated CIS men before dating Ash, and Ash, exuding quiet 0:01:46.720 --> 0:01:50.280 top energy which is hilarious, had mostly dated women their 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:54.600 relationship through gender and sexuality norms in the trash, y'all. 0:01:54.640 --> 0:01:56.480 Another reason why we have them also on the pot 0:01:56.720 --> 0:01:59.880 is because they rain out of Bushwick, New York. 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:02.760 That is how the hell that's right? 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:10.920 Bushwick for y'all, that don't know is Brooklyn gighborhood the gighborhood. 0:02:09.360 --> 0:02:13.280 Okay, because green Point that's that's different than Bushwick. 0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:16.280 And it's not and it's not Hell's Kitchen gighborhood. It's 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:20.840 like poc artists. 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:20.160 You know what I'm saying. 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:23.480 It is like Bushwick is the place where I'm not 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:26.839 saying I just get crazy. But there's been a few 0:02:26.880 --> 0:02:28.760 moments in my life like that one time that I 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:30.320 peed in that guy's bet and he liked it. 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:31.919 Wait, the Treehouse was in Bushwick. 0:02:31.960 --> 0:02:33.520 It sure was, of course it was. 0:02:33.600 --> 0:02:37.799 Oh wow, makes like that time when I fucked that 0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:39.800 girl that I met with the banker and when we 0:02:39.800 --> 0:02:41.919 were at that bar that was also Bushwick, and. 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:44.760 Just all in it. It's just that's where it's gonna 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:45.000 go down. 0:02:45.040 --> 0:02:48.000 Also, let's be very clear, Uh, Susia, which I love 0:02:48.080 --> 0:02:51.560 so very much, is the like sex club that's in Bushwick. 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:56.120 That's right, absolutely, y'all. Be As just produced their first event. 0:02:56.240 --> 0:02:58.680 Was yeah, and I gug that you even know this 0:02:58.840 --> 0:03:00.480 organization and love. 0:03:00.440 --> 0:03:04.919 Louise and I love love them so much. Amazing. So 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:07.000 let's get you guys right now. 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:10.080 Yes, before we get into that is a very thing 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:14.839 Before we get into our icebreaker, Ken, you do your 0:03:14.919 --> 0:03:17.799 own introduction and a little bit about how the two 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:19.000 of you became a couple. 0:03:21.560 --> 0:03:22.920 Well, I want this one. 0:03:23.080 --> 0:03:23.360 Sure. 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:29.200 I'm Maximo and this is Ash, also known as a gentlefemdom. 0:03:29.240 --> 0:03:32.799 I wouldn't even say quiet wow gentlefemdom one day. 0:03:32.680 --> 0:03:36.480 And the next day it's like angry twink changes Yeah. 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:41.080 Yeah. We're both pan sexual, non binary, and we live 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:43.880 in Bushrick, New York. We just moved in a year ago. 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:46.440 We're about to start our second year together. Just celebrate 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:51.839 our third year anniversary on third and now just kind 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:54.320 of like seeing how things go after the show has dropped. 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:57.120 Ash and I wanting to start more creative work together. 0:03:57.200 --> 0:03:59.880 I'm a dancer and a model and a photographer, among 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:02.800 other creative things. You know, hustlepreneur here in the city 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:05.280 and ask tell us about you. 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:09.080 So right before the show, I had been doing corporate 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:11.800 my whole career, and I was doing marketing and beauty, 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:14.880 et cetera, but it was not hitting. I wanted to 0:04:14.880 --> 0:04:17.479 be more with people. So I actually finally did what 0:04:17.560 --> 0:04:18.840 I wanted to do since day one. 0:04:19.040 --> 0:04:21.640 Quit corporate. And now I'm trying to figure that out. 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:24.479 Yeah, I'm trying to figure that out, and it's been 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:28.080 a wild journey. I think just that alone gave me 0:04:28.120 --> 0:04:30.200 a lot of space to really figure out my identities. 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:32.560 So since the show, it's been a lot more with 0:04:32.920 --> 0:04:36.040 non binaryiness and how that's feeding into my transness. And 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:39.480 it's been crazy because actually Sabs who was on set 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:42.640 with us, she was one of the makeup artists for 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:47.160 Actually the Beautiful Hosts, and I had amazing, amazing time 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:48.960 with her because she was the one that gave me 0:04:49.000 --> 0:04:51.880 like gender affirming cuts over and over just to make 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:55.200 me feel more comfortable. And so with Maxie's help, like 0:04:55.320 --> 0:04:58.039 we've been just getting a lot more comfortable with ourselves. 0:04:58.080 --> 0:05:01.640 We've been now doing events together. Max is helping me 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:05.760 become a performer as well within the Susio community. 0:05:09.240 --> 0:05:11.760 Spicy, but it was healing, very healing. 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:14.320 So I come from a concert dance background, so I 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:17.320 brought this more like conceptualized theme behind it. 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:19.400 Did you put the glitter on the strap on? 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:20.880 Like that? 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:22.440 Next one? 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:24.000 Let me set the scene. 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:26.679 So this is the first party that Ash ever produced 0:05:26.680 --> 0:05:29.480 with Susio Queer, which is a play party, but this 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:33.240 was a play party geared towards all queer people and 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:37.640 specifically trans POC non binary people. But the idea was 0:05:37.720 --> 0:05:40.680 having a blend of different queers, you know how it 0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:42.679 could be segregated, like this is a gay sex party, 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:44.360 This is like a lesbian sex party. This is like 0:05:44.400 --> 0:05:47.279 a swingers party. You know, this is like a hetero party. 0:05:47.279 --> 0:05:48.800 But if you want to you want to do some 0:05:48.839 --> 0:05:49.640 gay ship like. 0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:53.320 No, let's be very clear, right if the women want 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:56.000 to be but they don't the men. 0:05:56.120 --> 0:06:01.600 Really, this one was very like we invite all all 0:06:01.640 --> 0:06:07.280 types of gender identities and sexualities. So the performance starts me, 0:06:07.920 --> 0:06:11.279 I'm all kind in my like of course, my fish 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:16.040 nets and my booty shorts and my lingerie, and so 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:19.240 it starts out to buttons by pussy cat dolls. And 0:06:19.360 --> 0:06:28.120 I'm also a voguer. So I start I'm servingknes, I'm 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:30.960 giving you pussy, I'm dancing, I'm voguing. But then I 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:33.120 start to take out this bag, and in this bag, 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:35.280 I start to take out different articles of clothing. I 0:06:35.320 --> 0:06:38.240 put on these sunglasses. Then my move starts to become 0:06:38.279 --> 0:06:40.520 a little more masculine. Then I put on this bandana 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:43.880 more masculine. Then I take this button down and I'm 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:46.040 like full mask mode. Now I'm giving you like magic 0:06:46.120 --> 0:06:49.800 mic energy, buttoning up the shirt and now my visual 0:06:49.880 --> 0:06:52.560 is turning from like cunt to more masks. Last thing 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:54.800 I do is I take Ash from the crowd and 0:06:54.839 --> 0:06:57.840 I rip their pants off. I take their pants, I 0:06:57.880 --> 0:07:00.000 put the pants on me. I am now fully trained, 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:05.840 its form, fully masked. Then magic Mike the song starts playing, 0:07:06.120 --> 0:07:11.600 Let's ride it, dude. That is genuine, right, that's where 0:07:11.640 --> 0:07:14.600 I got it from. 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:17.560 There's the door. 0:07:23.200 --> 0:07:27.360 Absolutely correct on you. That's right. 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:31.160 And then so then I have a moment of masculine 0:07:31.400 --> 0:07:38.120 dancing to pony by genuine yes, and then Ash turns 0:07:38.160 --> 0:07:41.280 me around. Oh wait, no, I'm sorry. Then I go 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:42.920 back to the bag. I go back to the bag. 0:07:43.000 --> 0:07:44.800 The last thing I take out the bag is a 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:48.320 strap on. I put Ash in the strap on. We 0:07:48.360 --> 0:07:51.840 start putting Ash into the strap on, start taking off 0:07:51.840 --> 0:07:55.840 their top. Now they're fully nude, exposed, vulnerable, but now 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:58.640 we're putting on their strap on. Next thing you do 0:07:58.680 --> 0:08:01.280 they put me on my knees, turn me around, take 0:08:01.320 --> 0:08:04.720 my pants off, rip open my fish nets. I go 0:08:04.840 --> 0:08:08.240 into the I go into the bag and I passed 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:11.120 them the loop. Then Ash goes into the bag and 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:17.000 passes me the poppers because that's important. 0:08:14.640 --> 0:08:16.880 That that's so part of life. 0:08:17.040 --> 0:08:19.800 And so the next thing that happens, get ready because 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:23.000 now it gets crazy. So then take care of the poppers. 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:25.640 Ash starts to penetrate me, as I. 0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:30.160 Actually I ate you at first. You had to eat 0:08:30.200 --> 0:08:33.800 Maxie out first to like loosen it up, get cute coffee. 0:08:33.520 --> 0:08:35.559 So your face in that BOOTLEHOLEO. 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:43.079 She literally turned around and said, it's important. 0:08:43.360 --> 0:08:46.440 You gotta know, gentle top. 0:08:46.800 --> 0:08:48.880 You know if you're gonna do anal, you need to 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:50.760 like have some for play first. 0:08:50.800 --> 0:08:51.720 Of course, lots of loop. 0:08:51.800 --> 0:08:55.240 But if you have a nice top, who's gonna really 0:08:56.240 --> 0:08:58.240 make before I stick it? 0:08:58.360 --> 0:08:58.640 Hello? 0:08:58.800 --> 0:09:02.800 So literally you you got puked the hold on them 0:09:03.280 --> 0:09:06.720 so as so they ate me out, then they start 0:09:06.760 --> 0:09:09.760 to penetrate me. As they're penetrating me, I am now 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:13.280 taking off these articles of clothing and passing them to Ash. 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:15.520 So my bandana I take off, I passed to Ash. 0:09:15.800 --> 0:09:18.200 My glasses I take off, I passed to Ash. My 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:20.360 button down I take off and pass to Ash. So 0:09:20.400 --> 0:09:24.960 then Ash, as they're penetrating me, multitasking like putting on 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:28.040 the button down, the glasses and then they're getting in 0:09:28.080 --> 0:09:33.120 your mask exactly. So then you're seeing this visual of 0:09:33.160 --> 0:09:35.520 me going from mask back to Kent and Ash turning 0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:38.760 more masks, and then it ends with me finishing being 0:09:38.800 --> 0:09:41.840 penetrated and taking my pants off and putting them back 0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:46.319 on Ash and like giving, oh my gosh, oh. 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:46.679 No, no, no no. 0:09:46.880 --> 0:09:49.680 The next night, I need to go. I would love 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:51.080 to be in this room. 0:09:52.360 --> 0:09:53.559 You guys seem like you're coming. 0:09:54.880 --> 0:10:00.880 No, they came before everyone else came. It was holy icebreaker, 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:03.400 and I feel like that being an icebreaker, my icebreaker question. 0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:06.000 I mean, I'm like, you know what, I want to 0:10:06.000 --> 0:10:08.360 say something that's gonna sound fucked up, but I have 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:11.520 to say it. There was a moment where Sean said 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:13.920 to you on the show. Seawan is another member on 0:10:13.960 --> 0:10:16.800 the show, you know, I see the masculine side of you. 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:18.679 First I saw feminine, but I'm starting to see it. 0:10:19.000 --> 0:10:20.600 I swear to god, I kind of get it now. 0:10:21.320 --> 0:10:24.640 And it's very difficult because for me, I'm very like, 0:10:25.040 --> 0:10:26.840 I'm by right not really paying me because I really 0:10:26.920 --> 0:10:28.000 like the girl and the girl and the guy and 0:10:28.000 --> 0:10:30.840 the guy. It's still I don't know what it is, 0:10:31.080 --> 0:10:34.800 and maybe isn't the beard, Well, well, not only the beard, 0:10:34.840 --> 0:10:36.560 I'll say, and I'm sure it was by editing. 0:10:36.760 --> 0:10:40.000 First off, I love a black man acknowledging. 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:45.079 That that was a nice a man, and he literally 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:49.040 also said I'd never seen a man present both feminine 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:50.920 and masculine before, and it was so nice to see. 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:53.160 I hate that the editing, I will say, did not 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:57.560 show you in that madmore because I came in. First off, 0:10:57.559 --> 0:10:59.120 it was given cut, you had a whole beat. 0:10:59.200 --> 0:11:02.720 Okay, the boots were really the moment the courset, I 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:06.600 was like, wow, But no, I think it's interesting because yeah, 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:08.959 the viewer didn't get to see it, right, But sitting 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:11.920 here with you for ten minutes, I'm like, oh yeah, okay, 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:15.480 And especially because keep in mind, I think when men 0:11:15.520 --> 0:11:18.720 are watching this straight man, right, yeah, you can't see 0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:21.920 the connections sometimes between somebody queer and hetero because you 0:11:21.960 --> 0:11:23.959 never get to see it on TV. 0:11:24.400 --> 0:11:26.200 There's never a moment. I'm sure you broke up. 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:30.560 With him, had deep conversation, and I think you definitely 0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:33.440 were painted in a way, not in a bad way. 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:36.520 But I think the other good thing that was good 0:11:36.600 --> 0:11:40.000 to see is I don't expect to see this couple. 0:11:40.280 --> 0:11:42.600 I'm looking at an Asian girl and like, you know. 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:46.080 Guy, all about the sorry, but you know what I'm saying, 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:49.880 Brazilian okay. And I don't want to say what type 0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:54.760 of Asian. But I know we can't just say there's 0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:58.800 a different There's a whole difference between every Yeah, you 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:06.720 know what you have. You have Filipino. But Bute just 0:12:06.720 --> 0:12:10.600 told me to go to soa bitch, this is your 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:15.760 sign to now well, I started Japan, but they was like, hey, 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:19.640 why you over and go to Soul. Okay. 0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:22.520 I just want to say about the Shawn situation. First 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:24.800 of all, I really appreciate you acknowledging that about me. 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:27.520 I think, of course on TV they're playing into the 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:33.920 queer of course, but I also I don't want to 0:12:33.960 --> 0:12:36.320 say I code switch. But just like when I'm around 0:12:36.360 --> 0:12:38.120 women or when I'm around men, when I go to 0:12:38.160 --> 0:12:39.800 the boat Dagga and I order my baking egg and cheese, 0:12:39.840 --> 0:12:41.440 I'm not like, hey, girl, let me get like a 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:44.280 bacon egg and cheese, and you know, I'm like, what's 0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:46.680 going on the boss, Like can I get like? So 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:50.280 when I'm around people, you know, it's not that those 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:52.880 are big parts of myself or like I'm switching to 0:12:53.040 --> 0:12:54.880 a piece, but it's like those are parts of myself 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:57.400 that I also like to access. It just depends on 0:12:57.679 --> 0:12:59.520 who I'm around. What energy am I in? Am I 0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:02.480 feeling more mask today? Am I feeling more feminine? And 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:05.120 that is so fluid and like how you present and 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:08.440 sexuality as well as gender. And for Sean, what was 0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:11.160 so fab as They were like seeing you you're. 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:11.800 A whole cut. 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:14.760 He didn't know how to verbalize it, but he said 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:18.880 that he definitely said that definitely and getting to exchange words, 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:21.520 They're like, that's when I could see your masculine energy 0:13:21.600 --> 0:13:25.199 really coming out and seeing the dynamics of our relationship 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:27.360 of how it's like kind of a give and a take. 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:34.840 So for the icebreaker, you take everybody's So for the icebreaker, 0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:36.440 I wanted to want to make it into that. 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:36.920 Right. 0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:42.400 So you guys present as you've only you normally were 0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:45.199 with women. Prior to this relationship, you normally were with men. 0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:48.200 I want to know what is something that you both 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:52.000 used to believe in in relation about relationships that. 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:52.840 Since has changed. 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:55.760 I mean even from and you can go all the 0:13:55.800 --> 0:13:59.360 way back to growing up, maybe your cultural beliefs, your backgrounds, 0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:02.000 maybe what your parents instilled on to you. I would 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:04.800 love to know what's changed about your idea of relationship 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:05.520 since being together. 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:09.320 Oh my god, everything you know, like everything that I 0:14:09.360 --> 0:14:12.199 grew up thinking was a relationship, from how you love, 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:15.640 how you receive love, who you love, has completely changed 0:14:15.720 --> 0:14:18.520 upside down and side around because Maxie, I feel like 0:14:18.720 --> 0:14:22.240 and our whole relationship has been always about what feels 0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:25.520 right to us versus what should we do, because we 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:28.040 never really had I feel like a guidance in our 0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:30.200 community and who my friends were at the time when 0:14:30.200 --> 0:14:33.720 I was usually with women. We're lesbians who can sometimes 0:14:33.760 --> 0:14:38.520 be harsher than straight people because when then you say, 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:39.800 oh I'm kind of interested in some. 0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:42.640 Dick, They're like, you're straight, bitch, stay away. 0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:43.640 Sometimes it's like that. 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:46.120 Yeah, but I feel like we had to really learn 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:48.320 how to trust ourselves and each other of like what 0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:50.640 feels good to us, because right now it feels like 0:14:50.640 --> 0:14:53.040 we're kind of the anomaly and we get that a lot. 0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:54.680 I kind of think you are. 0:14:54.760 --> 0:14:55.880 Yeah, what about you, Maximal? 0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:59.960 Yeah, well, I feel like so growing up, I predominantly 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:03.200 had girlfriends, so I was predominantly dating men. From the 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:07.880 point I came out as bisexual until Ash and I 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:12.040 until like we started like dating again. So that was 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:16.840 so I grew up straight in the closet girlfriends, always 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:20.560 knowing that I had like attraction to men and attraction 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:23.800 to really like the possibility to be attracted to anybody. 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:27.280 But growing up in South Florida, where it's. 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:33.880 Very Florida polka. 0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:41.160 Clearly, growing up in Florida has our minds fucked up. 0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:46.160 It's the water. No, no, we are we are products 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:50.040 of a red state education. 0:15:51.600 --> 0:15:56.160 Growing up in South Florida, it's very known that like 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:59.960 being by a girl is not going to want to 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:00.400 date you. 0:16:00.560 --> 0:16:02.760 In fact, that's just a beard, You're just gay. 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:05.400 Actually, it's such biphobia, I feel like in middle school 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:08.000 and high school, so even though knowing that I knew 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:10.080 I like to maybe such a little dick or something, 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:14.360 but I also knew that I really was romantically into 0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:17.560 women as well. So eventually getting to college and coming 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:22.480 out as bisexual, I would say bisexual, hetero romantic until 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:25.360 I started to give myself the space to actually feel 0:16:25.360 --> 0:16:28.600 intimacy with men and recognize that I have my own 0:16:28.640 --> 0:16:32.520 internal seeds that were planted from society, from friends or 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:36.360 from whoever. That allowed me to feel like I don't 0:16:36.400 --> 0:16:38.400 want to be close to men in that kind of way. 0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:41.720 So giving myself that space to explore, I realized, no, 0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:44.720 I'm pan sexual. I have the capacity to love anybody 0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:48.320 and really form intimate connections with anyone. Meeting Ash though, 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:51.920 then that really took us on a journey of a 0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:56.080 sense like, well, we know we're both very queer, right, 0:16:56.440 --> 0:17:00.360 but we are very attracted romantically and physically to each other. 0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:04.280 But then also me coming from being predominantly with men 0:17:04.320 --> 0:17:07.520 before and ASH with women is like, right, one, I 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:10.400 don't want to limit my partner from experiencing any kind 0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:12.320 of love or pleasure in this world, just as I 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:13.919 don't want to feel like I'm limited as long as 0:17:13.960 --> 0:17:17.960 it's respectfully and communicatively. But there's this sense of wanting 0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:20.679 to also stay in touch with our queerness, wanting to 0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:24.520 still like give that side of ourselves love. So it 0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:27.639 allowed me and I feel like allowed us to really 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:31.600 speak on the things that in relationships you don't actually 0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:34.679 talk about, like I'm actually attracted to this other person, 0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:37.240 I kind of want to have sex with somebody else, 0:17:37.400 --> 0:17:41.040 maybe it's together, or maybe it's separately, and how do 0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:43.960 I do that in a relationship where it's ethical and 0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:46.919 making sure that I'm communicating? Do you want to know 0:17:47.320 --> 0:17:50.000 before I search for somebody? Do you want to know 0:17:50.040 --> 0:17:51.080 if I meet somebody? 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:56.320 So I've literally been in my house the last two days. 0:17:57.320 --> 0:18:00.000 We've we've talked about ethical nonm monogamy on Horrible Decision 0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:03.720 Now we both just got out of non monogamous relationships, 0:18:04.240 --> 0:18:09.560 still playing in an ethical non monogamous way, and the 0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:13.000 show pissed me off so much because navigating this space 0:18:13.560 --> 0:18:17.679 is really hard. But then the communicating of it, where 0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:22.040 you're literally communicating to other people's and securities, and that's 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:24.400 all I kept seeing. And we'll get into it later 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:25.480 because y'all did some function shit. 0:18:27.560 --> 0:18:28.920 We gonna get into it. 0:18:30.680 --> 0:18:32.440 While I was watching it, and we weren't supposed to 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:33.280 think it was all sexual. 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:36.600 No no, no, So not that it was sexual, but in 0:18:36.680 --> 0:18:39.840 terms of the communication between the singles and the couples, 0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:44.880 knowing that I'm I know, I want to be non monogamous. 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:46.560 I love sex clubs. I love that. 0:18:46.880 --> 0:18:49.640 I felt like I opened my last relationship into Pandora's 0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:54.800 box and there that was betrayal, Right, and so all 0:18:54.840 --> 0:18:58.560 I saw with all of these non monogamous people seeking 0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:04.640 throuble relationships was no one's ever satisfied. And because now 0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:07.960 you've opened the floodgates to allowing your partner to be 0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:11.240 just with anyone, I through a lot of people saw 0:19:12.119 --> 0:19:14.240 constant search of someone else. 0:19:14.280 --> 0:19:16.480 That's not true. You literally don't have someone leaving early 0:19:16.480 --> 0:19:17.400 because it was so good. 0:19:17.520 --> 0:19:20.680 No, no, no, no, I get that. In the realm of 0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:23.399 the show. I also think that was production also, I 0:19:23.400 --> 0:19:27.359 also feel like there's a lot of things that are fabricated. 0:19:27.400 --> 0:19:30.400 But all I kept seeing was people like, oh, well, 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:33.240 we have this opportunity to have someone else, let me 0:19:33.320 --> 0:19:38.000 swap and bring someone else in. Watching Darien, which is 0:19:38.320 --> 0:19:41.760 one person who actually expressed to want to play with y'all, 0:19:42.200 --> 0:19:44.639 her couple was like, oh, actually, no, this should be closed. 0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:46.399 How dare you want someone else yet? We want to 0:19:46.400 --> 0:19:47.680 be able to have someone else. 0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:50.120 But that's okay though they have a I get that. 0:19:50.200 --> 0:19:50.520 To me. 0:19:51.240 --> 0:19:54.560 It was where a as millennials, I would say, we're 0:19:54.600 --> 0:19:59.199 the first generation of people to openly be navigating this 0:19:59.280 --> 0:20:03.000 space at the monogamy. And as I'm watching it, I'm 0:20:03.080 --> 0:20:09.040 literally seeing Romaine that nig annoyed me. Okay, let me 0:20:09.040 --> 0:20:11.480 be honest, but they watching. If they were taken out 0:20:11.480 --> 0:20:13.080 of it, there would have been some healthy ship. 0:20:13.200 --> 0:20:13.360 Well. 0:20:13.400 --> 0:20:15.800 No, even the fact that the other white man was 0:20:15.880 --> 0:20:17.920 clearly jealous, that a lot of the women were more 0:20:18.119 --> 0:20:23.920 attracted to you, because what we really got to see. 0:20:24.480 --> 0:20:26.480 But so I'm watching this and I just don't like thinking. 0:20:27.680 --> 0:20:32.640 It's not that it's not that rumbles are hunky dory, 0:20:32.720 --> 0:20:39.320 it's the fact of the true layers of communication, trauma, 0:20:39.720 --> 0:20:44.119 and dismantling society ideas of what a true relationship looks 0:20:44.160 --> 0:20:49.280 like while also navigating someone's the securities, someone leaning into 0:20:49.320 --> 0:20:51.080 their lives because they don't know how to be honest, 0:20:51.240 --> 0:20:54.920 someone really wanting to be sensual and sexual with someone 0:20:54.920 --> 0:20:56.320