WEBVTT - LOVE IN THE STRIP CLUB GONE RIGHT

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, is this Caesar? Yeah, Caesar, you texted me and

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<v Speaker 1>you said you wanted to talk about the topic of

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<v Speaker 1>love in the strip club.

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<v Speaker 2>Gone right, yep, yep, I remember sending that tax Yeah

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<v Speaker 2>it was. It was crazy, crazy night and I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know how I did.

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<v Speaker 1>It, but yeah, what was What was your night?

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<v Speaker 2>Let's see kind of started with the whole thing with

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<v Speaker 2>the strip club was buddy mine. He told me he's

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<v Speaker 2>never gone to the strip club. This was around I

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<v Speaker 2>think Christmas Eve or day after Christmas. I'm like, all right,

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<v Speaker 2>I got you, let's let's go. It was off work

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<v Speaker 2>to the first time ever taking him to the strip club.

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<v Speaker 2>I was kind of feeling under the weather. It wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>really feeling it, but I mean wanted him to experience

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<v Speaker 2>strip club the first time. So I took him out.

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<v Speaker 2>He did his thing, and which just went back home.

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<v Speaker 2>Come the weekend after Christmas, I was feeling much better.

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<v Speaker 2>I wasn't sick anymore or anything. I was like, all right,

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<v Speaker 2>I couldn't enjoyed myself the other day, I want to

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<v Speaker 2>go out have fun by myself. I'm gonna try again.

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<v Speaker 2>Went to the strip club, chilling there by myself and

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<v Speaker 2>strip club being. I mean the I know they don't

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<v Speaker 2>like being called strippers, but the entertainers, stancers. They there's

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<v Speaker 2>not much of an imagination. They don't leave much to

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<v Speaker 2>that day imagination. You get to see, you get to

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<v Speaker 2>see pretty good things.

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<v Speaker 1>Sure that's I think that's the point.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just I get there, sit at

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<v Speaker 2>the table. I get a waitress come up to me.

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<v Speaker 2>They're fully dress, just working as well in the strip club.

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<v Speaker 2>Comes up to me. I'm still sober her being so

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<v Speaker 2>even right now. She came up to me, asked her

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<v Speaker 2>what I wanted to drink, and I saw how beautiful

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<v Speaker 2>she was, and like, just like right now, I'm fucking

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<v Speaker 2>up with my words. She had me speechless. They didn't

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<v Speaker 2>know what to say. Whatever. She was like, okay, I

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<v Speaker 2>got you. She she understood that. She even laughed and

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<v Speaker 2>chuckled that I couldn't get my words out. She brought

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<v Speaker 2>me a drink. She actually brought me her favorite drink,

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<v Speaker 2>and throughout the night she was my waitress and kept

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<v Speaker 2>bringing me more and more drinks, more and more drinks

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<v Speaker 2>in my system. Have a bit more confident that liquid

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<v Speaker 2>courage and I had the brightest idea and the dumbest

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<v Speaker 2>idea to ask her if I could get a lap

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<v Speaker 2>dance from her instead of a stripper that wanted from her,

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<v Speaker 2>because she was beautiful to me somehow. Do you agree

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<v Speaker 2>I thought I was about to get kicked out or something.

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<v Speaker 2>She agreed. I'm not expecting to see anything more than

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<v Speaker 2>just just a regular lap dance, her fully dressed or whatever,

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<v Speaker 2>because I find her very attractive. What I got to

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<v Speaker 2>see more than than what I was from what I thought.

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<v Speaker 2>So and now so many private room getting the lap

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<v Speaker 2>dance or whatever. But you think there be a leapt dance. No,

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<v Speaker 2>it wasn't even a left dance. I was just she

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<v Speaker 2>tried to do the dance. But I was just there

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<v Speaker 2>talking to her, just pouring myself out to her, just

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<v Speaker 2>telling her how beautiful she was and everything. And if

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<v Speaker 2>if it was through a different situation, a different circumstance,

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<v Speaker 2>I like to get to know her and everything else,

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<v Speaker 2>just I myself.

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<v Speaker 1>So okay, so you guys are back in the private

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<v Speaker 1>room and there's no lap dancer, just you're just sitting

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<v Speaker 1>there and talking with each other. You're pouring yourself out

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<v Speaker 1>to her emotionally, and you say, if this was another situation, yeah, yeah, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>she said, what did she say?

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<v Speaker 2>So, I mean, yeah, it did start as a left dance,

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<v Speaker 2>but conversations kept going. But yeah, I mean, strippers have

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<v Speaker 2>stage names, waitress have their real names. And in the

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<v Speaker 2>beginning she gave me a real name, and we actually

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<v Speaker 2>she wanted to exchange socials and contact information, and I'm like, okay, cool,

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<v Speaker 2>maybe an actual shop here. But I mean at the time,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just drunk, happy on winter, not really thinking. I

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<v Speaker 2>just kept going with the flow, had a good time

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<v Speaker 2>within her talking.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, so was this recent?

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<v Speaker 2>This was let's see, the weekend after Christmas?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So have you guys, I mean you said the

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<v Speaker 1>topic of this was love and the strip club gone rights?

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<v Speaker 1>Has this continued to go?

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<v Speaker 2>Right?

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<v Speaker 1>Have you been in contact with her? Has there what's

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<v Speaker 1>the situation been or was it all the matrix?

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<v Speaker 2>So once strip club over here, I'm not sure in

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<v Speaker 2>other places. Strip club over here closes at two, and

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<v Speaker 2>there's only one other place in the city that is

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<v Speaker 2>open a little after hours nightclub. I go over there

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<v Speaker 2>and just I kept partying. I'm me and her, We're

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<v Speaker 2>messaging back and forth. I invite her out, and she agreed.

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<v Speaker 2>She wanted to come out and everything. Then what's it called?

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<v Speaker 2>She got stuck because they are also the keen up

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<v Speaker 2>crew at the strip club. Okay, she couldn't come out

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<v Speaker 2>that night, no problem. Next morning. Next morning, I realized

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<v Speaker 2>what I've done. I'm apologizing. I'm so embarrassed and everything.

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<v Speaker 1>Why are you? Why are you embarrassed? Why are you?

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<v Speaker 1>What's the matter?

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<v Speaker 2>Because now I'm sober and I'm realizing that somewhat remembering

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<v Speaker 2>what happened last night, I poured myself out to this

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<v Speaker 2>chick that I didn't even know that well. And I

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<v Speaker 2>embarrassed myself. I'm telling all types of things and everything,

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<v Speaker 2>and like, I mean, everything that I said was truthful,

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<v Speaker 2>but I embarrassed myself. I was just, I guess what's

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<v Speaker 2>it called, very lost for words, and her beauty just

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<v Speaker 2>brought it all out. And then I was drunk.

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<v Speaker 1>Were you were you telling her like were you just

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<v Speaker 1>like kind of like emotionally pouring out to her about

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<v Speaker 1>her or were you kind of like talking about like

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<v Speaker 1>your life and whatnot?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh no, not my life? A butt her like that.

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<v Speaker 2>I wanted to be with her, said her, to know

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<v Speaker 2>her more, like just I told her a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>things about her or me wanting to know her. And

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<v Speaker 2>I just met her that night, and mind you, she's

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<v Speaker 2>showing me a lot of things city all of that

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<v Speaker 2>very first night.

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<v Speaker 1>I have to well, I have to ask. I have

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<v Speaker 1>to ask. So even though she wasn't a I guess

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<v Speaker 1>a stripper, were did you did you did you tip?

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<v Speaker 1>Did you tip her in the way that you would

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<v Speaker 1>have a stripper giving you a lap dance?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh? Yeah, because I mean at the time, it's still

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<v Speaker 2>just I wasn't expecting exchangeing contact information. I'm still paying

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<v Speaker 2>for a dance.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, so very in you. You message her and you're

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<v Speaker 1>apologizing for all this stuff, and then what does she say.

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<v Speaker 2>She actually wanted to hang out anymore? Really? Yeah? And

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<v Speaker 2>we kept talking here and there. She helped me do

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<v Speaker 2>run some errands. I needed help. I needed an extra

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<v Speaker 2>driver to pick up a vehicle. She offered to help

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<v Speaker 2>me out.

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<v Speaker 1>Really, but yeah, you guys are hanging out and she's

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<v Speaker 1>running errands with you.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, she sent me her actual address, picked her up,

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<v Speaker 2>run the errands, I took her back home. I'm thinking

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just taking her background dropping her off. That's it

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<v Speaker 2>real quick. Now. Where we sat in front of her place,

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<v Speaker 2>maybe over two to three hours, just talking in the vehicle.

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<v Speaker 2>And come New Year's you had New Year's Eve, New

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<v Speaker 2>Year's Day, I mean, everyone's out partying and everything. She

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<v Speaker 2>had to work. Marchington the problem. I'm out partying with

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<v Speaker 2>a few of my buddies, and she actually had time

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<v Speaker 2>to meet me at the after hours nightclub. So we're

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<v Speaker 2>over there and me and her hanging out. She's meeting

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<v Speaker 2>my buddies and everything. I mean, she was at work.

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<v Speaker 2>I was with my guy friends new Year's with New

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<v Speaker 2>Year's ball drop or whatever. Like people usually kiss New

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<v Speaker 2>Year's as soon as it happens. I was my buddies.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not kissing none of them. She was at work.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if she was kissing on anyone or not,

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<v Speaker 2>maybe one of her girlfriends or something at work coworkers.

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<v Speaker 2>But once we were met up later that night, it's

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<v Speaker 2>New Year's Day now, maybe like four o'clock in the morning,

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<v Speaker 2>we're still at this club, and I had actually when

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<v Speaker 2>she got there, like, so, what you got your New

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<v Speaker 2>Year's kiss? Shit, I'm like no, She asked me if

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<v Speaker 2>I got mine. I'm like no, I didn't do anything.

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<v Speaker 2>But she went for it. She she engaged it and

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<v Speaker 2>everything like all right, cool, little late to a kiss,

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<v Speaker 2>but kept going.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, okay, it sounds like, you know, it sounds

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<v Speaker 1>like it sounds nice. It sounds nice so far. So

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<v Speaker 1>this was New Year's Day, that was about twelve days ago.

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<v Speaker 1>How has how has this evolved or not since then?

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<v Speaker 2>So kinda in the same city, but with my job,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm kind of on the road countryside, city side as well,

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<v Speaker 2>working on the river. I mean, she's also going to school,

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<v Speaker 2>still working two jobs and things like that. So first

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<v Speaker 2>week and second week of January, it's kind of like

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<v Speaker 2>message here there. We're both basically we're both adults and stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>We got things going on, call each other hand there,

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<v Speaker 2>try to out whenever we can to see when our

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<v Speaker 2>schedule is line up. But we both know we're business.

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<v Speaker 2>We're not we're not trying to Uh, she's not all

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<v Speaker 2>in my business. I'm not all of her business. If

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<v Speaker 2>if we may want this to work out, we're gonna try.

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<v Speaker 2>But it was a good start to the New Year's

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<v Speaker 2>If if this doesn't go anywhere, I have a good

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<v Speaker 2>memory of how my New year started.

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<v Speaker 1>That's nice, man, that's nice. What's your name?

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<v Speaker 2>Your name.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you gave me your name. Hold on, let me

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<v Speaker 1>look at it against Caesar. Mm hmmm, that's a nice story. Caesar.

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<v Speaker 1>What's your your I'm curious about you. What's your Uh?

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<v Speaker 1>How'd you find this podcast? How do you find me?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just curious. I'm curious.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if it was usually going not, so

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<v Speaker 2>what's it going? I think I was following at one point,

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<v Speaker 2>on and off, on and off, But I've always seen

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<v Speaker 2>the phone calls, the reals kept coming up and everything.

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<v Speaker 2>Some of them I like funny and everything. But then

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. Sometimes I just be cleaning out my

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<v Speaker 2>uh my followings and everything. But I can honestly say

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<v Speaker 2>I've unfollowed I think a few times, and followed back

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<v Speaker 2>on and off. So some people do it and everything.

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, I like your content, content and everything. I've

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<v Speaker 2>never heard of someone you were out of country as well.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh yeah, well I've never heard. That's interesting to me.

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<v Speaker 1>I've never heard of somebody like I get like unfollowing someone,

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<v Speaker 1>but I've never heard of unfollow and follow back, and

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<v Speaker 1>then I like that the back and forth is a new.

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<v Speaker 2>Not not rapidly like at the same minute.

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<v Speaker 1>I know not pressing the button rapidly. But I know

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<v Speaker 1>what you're being No.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like, at one point I'm like, Okay, I'm liking

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<v Speaker 2>the content. I'm watching all the videos and everything. I

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<v Speaker 2>like it. And later on just I don't know, a

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<v Speaker 2>wave of different emotions or some shit I just cleaned

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<v Speaker 2>out all of my followings or whatever, like, oh, let

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<v Speaker 2>me just refresh my feed get a different feel of things.

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<v Speaker 2>Then later on, oh I like your content, I start

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<v Speaker 2>following again, and they just be back and forth.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, so you're on the So your job takes

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<v Speaker 1>you on the road.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, whenever they call wherever it is that they need me,

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<v Speaker 2>I gotta go.

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<v Speaker 1>What is the job?

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<v Speaker 2>A mechanic for boats?

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<v Speaker 3>Cool?

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<v Speaker 2>Wherever? Wherever our company boat is that there's multiple boats.

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<v Speaker 2>But wherever they're at and something's messed up to I

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<v Speaker 2>have to go fix it.

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<v Speaker 1>So I got some questions. So you really poured yourself

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<v Speaker 1>out to this waitress lady. How's your love life? How's

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<v Speaker 1>your love life been in the past? You strike me

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<v Speaker 1>as an emotionally vulnerable man who you know, takes chances

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<v Speaker 1>when it goes to what's what's your love life been like?

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<v Speaker 2>So let's see back in high school high school days now,

0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:29.840
<v Speaker 2>I was an actual lover boy and everything, try to

0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:34.720
<v Speaker 2>do everything to please whoever I was with. But I'm

0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:37.240
<v Speaker 2>sure people some people may relate, some people may not.

0:14:37.280 --> 0:14:42.800
<v Speaker 2>But when when when you actually care for someone and

0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:45.840
<v Speaker 2>that someone that you're with at the time treats you

0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:51.440
<v Speaker 2>very badly or does you very dirty, or like you

0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:54.640
<v Speaker 2>find out the hard way that you actually don't mean

0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:58.120
<v Speaker 2>shit to them or whatever, It's like that changes or

0:14:58.360 --> 0:15:02.240
<v Speaker 2>kind of hurts you very bad where you tell yourself

0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:04.920
<v Speaker 2>You're never going to be this vulnerable again. So I

0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:08.560
<v Speaker 2>became kind of an asshole for a very very long time.

0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:12.560
<v Speaker 2>But anyone, anyone that i'd be interested in, like, I

0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.360
<v Speaker 2>try a little bit, but I would hold back. I

0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:18.120
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't be as open as I was with this girl.

0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:22.840
<v Speaker 2>And I said I was never going to be that

0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:27.040
<v Speaker 2>vunerable ever again. But I guess it was just me

0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:32.160
<v Speaker 2>being very drunk and seeing how beautiful, beautiful she was.

0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:34.960
<v Speaker 2>It's just all of that came out.

0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:38.600
<v Speaker 1>Do you feel like over the years people have been

0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:42.920
<v Speaker 1>have like taken advantage of your emotional vulnerability?

0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:48.240
<v Speaker 2>When when I start to open up a little more

0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:54.200
<v Speaker 2>to whoever I'm with, Uh, like Yeah, they see they

0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:59.400
<v Speaker 2>take advantage of how nice I be, or like I

0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:03.480
<v Speaker 2>try to offer her. I try to offer help. I

0:16:03.520 --> 0:16:08.200
<v Speaker 2>think a long time ago an ex of mine, like

0:16:09.600 --> 0:16:13.120
<v Speaker 2>an actual I considered this one an actual ex because

0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:15.680
<v Speaker 2>we never hate each other nothing. We only split up

0:16:15.760 --> 0:16:20.880
<v Speaker 2>because of work. Work wise, we'd never have time for

0:16:20.960 --> 0:16:26.320
<v Speaker 2>each other. And later on we talked here and there,

0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:30.440
<v Speaker 2>and I actually offered her to move in with me.

0:16:31.120 --> 0:16:33.800
<v Speaker 2>Went free. She doesn't have to worry about paying any

0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:37.560
<v Speaker 2>bills or nothing like that. She can continue working if

0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:39.640
<v Speaker 2>she wants. I can take care of her, and she

0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:43.320
<v Speaker 2>can go back to school. I offered that to her.

0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:47.200
<v Speaker 2>We were in the we were in the moment of

0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:53.080
<v Speaker 2>actually trying to move her into my place, but with

0:16:53.200 --> 0:16:57.560
<v Speaker 2>the person or situation she was in the with someone else,

0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:06.080
<v Speaker 2>it backfiredled her very badly. Now to this day, she's

0:17:06.160 --> 0:17:11.439
<v Speaker 2>actually still with the person and in a very bad space.

0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:20.240
<v Speaker 2>She what's it called? She agreed in the beginning we

0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:24.919
<v Speaker 2>were actually moving the stuff in and backed out last minute,

0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:29.320
<v Speaker 2>and now she's suffering for it and no one, no

0:17:29.400 --> 0:17:33.680
<v Speaker 2>one ever will ever get that offer from me ever. Again.

0:17:35.280 --> 0:17:39.120
<v Speaker 1>Interesting, Okay, so how did it make you feel? She's

0:17:39.160 --> 0:17:44.000
<v Speaker 1>like moving her stuff in and then she's like, you

0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:45.480
<v Speaker 1>know what, no, never mind?

0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:52.240
<v Speaker 2>Well I told her because she said, like, we passed

0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:56.080
<v Speaker 2>up the street from my place, and I called her

0:17:56.080 --> 0:17:58.440
<v Speaker 2>and told her, what's going on? Why did we pass

0:17:58.480 --> 0:18:04.840
<v Speaker 2>it up? Like? Oh, but the person she the situation

0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:08.600
<v Speaker 2>she was with at the target, like, oh, he wants

0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:11.720
<v Speaker 2>to talk in person, he wants to explain himself such

0:18:11.760 --> 0:18:16.440
<v Speaker 2>and such and everything, like I was kind of aggravated

0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:19.840
<v Speaker 2>about it and whatever. I can't do anything about it.

0:18:20.080 --> 0:18:23.040
<v Speaker 2>She wants to go talk to him. Impression, okay, I

0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:27.679
<v Speaker 2>told her. I told her it's either today, we do

0:18:27.840 --> 0:18:33.720
<v Speaker 2>this now, or you'd never see me again. So she

0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:36.800
<v Speaker 2>went to go talk to him, trying to see what

0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:39.800
<v Speaker 2>was going to happen. She told me to just go

0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:43.840
<v Speaker 2>meet her meet up at her grandma's place. I'm at

0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:48.000
<v Speaker 2>her grandma's place. We're waiting on her. As soon as

0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:52.400
<v Speaker 2>she pulls up, she says, oh, he wants to try

0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:56.159
<v Speaker 2>again and everything. I didn't even let her finish. I

0:18:56.320 --> 0:18:58.840
<v Speaker 2>just I loaded her case from the vehicle and I left.

0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:03.800
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm, yeah, was.

0:19:03.800 --> 0:19:06.280
<v Speaker 1>That the last before this waitress warming? Was that the

0:19:06.359 --> 0:19:09.280
<v Speaker 1>last sort of romantic situation you were in?

0:19:11.560 --> 0:19:16.840
<v Speaker 2>Huh? Oh yeah, I think so. I mean, I mean

0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:22.520
<v Speaker 2>there's another other uh what's it called people around that.

0:19:22.560 --> 0:19:26.560
<v Speaker 2>I've been with some things, but it's never never been

0:19:27.080 --> 0:19:30.359
<v Speaker 2>anything deep or emotional. That's just a pastime.

0:19:31.840 --> 0:19:39.560
<v Speaker 1>Mm hm m m. Do you feel like you will

0:19:39.560 --> 0:19:43.639
<v Speaker 1>be able to because that's rough someone being like all right,

0:19:43.680 --> 0:19:45.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm ready to move in with you and then be like,

0:19:45.200 --> 0:19:46.520
<v Speaker 1>actually I want to try to go with my ex

0:19:47.280 --> 0:19:50.240
<v Speaker 1>and there's ship is you know halfway in? That's rough.

0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:53.880
<v Speaker 1>Do you believe, Caesar, that you will ever be able

0:19:53.920 --> 0:19:54.879
<v Speaker 1>to open your heart again?

0:19:58.200 --> 0:20:02.720
<v Speaker 2>I mean I won't and all the uh what's it

0:20:02.800 --> 0:20:07.720
<v Speaker 2>called people have been with, it's it's me pursuing them

0:20:08.040 --> 0:20:11.160
<v Speaker 2>or trying to get to know them. And I feel

0:20:11.200 --> 0:20:16.280
<v Speaker 2>like if I stop trying, it would just come to

0:20:16.320 --> 0:20:19.000
<v Speaker 2>me if someone actually wants to get to know me,

0:20:20.800 --> 0:20:25.560
<v Speaker 2>and if I see they show effort, yeah, I'll open

0:20:25.640 --> 0:20:26.439
<v Speaker 2>up to that person.

0:20:27.160 --> 0:20:31.760
<v Speaker 1>That That's what everyone always says. That's what everyone always says,

0:20:31.880 --> 0:20:37.960
<v Speaker 1>is like you uh uh, you know what's the people

0:20:38.000 --> 0:20:42.720
<v Speaker 1>say like the minute you stop looking is when it happens.

0:20:42.800 --> 0:20:48.680
<v Speaker 1>And I would I would amend that a little bit

0:20:48.840 --> 0:20:51.399
<v Speaker 1>because you have to put yourself out there and you

0:20:51.440 --> 0:20:55.680
<v Speaker 1>have to take chances in order to meet new people

0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:58.399
<v Speaker 1>and whatnot. But I think what they I think what

0:20:58.440 --> 0:21:01.560
<v Speaker 1>they mean by that is, like, you know, you can

0:21:01.640 --> 0:21:06.240
<v Speaker 1>kind of tell, you can kind of tell when somebody

0:21:06.720 --> 0:21:10.720
<v Speaker 1>wants to put effort towards you when they don't.

0:21:11.840 --> 0:21:17.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like, let's say so, I usually try to enjoy

0:21:17.800 --> 0:21:21.840
<v Speaker 2>my myself going up alone sometimes here and there. Like

0:21:21.920 --> 0:21:24.240
<v Speaker 2>I may go to a bar. I would drink myself

0:21:24.480 --> 0:21:27.840
<v Speaker 2>just I'll look around, see what's going on or whatever.

0:21:28.600 --> 0:21:30.720
<v Speaker 2>But I'll sure you can't really findly love at a bar.

0:21:30.960 --> 0:21:36.600
<v Speaker 2>People in there may not be happy or for someone

0:21:36.640 --> 0:21:38.600
<v Speaker 2>to go into a bar is a reason that they're there,

0:21:40.560 --> 0:21:46.320
<v Speaker 2>h it's not isn't a good thing or a bad thing. Yeah,

0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:51.879
<v Speaker 2>But I may go to a nice fat have dinner

0:21:52.240 --> 0:21:56.040
<v Speaker 2>by myself or something, look around, talk to a waitress

0:21:56.040 --> 0:21:59.240
<v Speaker 2>here in there, see how they're day did if they

0:21:59.359 --> 0:22:03.439
<v Speaker 2>continue with the conversation and be friendly or whatever, like

0:22:03.680 --> 0:22:06.600
<v Speaker 2>just actually have an actual conversation, not hit on anyone,

0:22:07.600 --> 0:22:13.280
<v Speaker 2>see where it goes, and so and so whoever you

0:22:13.320 --> 0:22:17.240
<v Speaker 2>speak with at the time, and like and the actual

0:22:17.240 --> 0:22:25.720
<v Speaker 2>conversation and they continue more conversation, more conversation, exchange, contact, inspiration, like,

0:22:25.840 --> 0:22:30.639
<v Speaker 2>don't I wouldn't expect them to be sitting them sending

0:22:30.680 --> 0:22:33.360
<v Speaker 2>me good mornings or updates on things or whatever. Just

0:22:34.280 --> 0:22:39.920
<v Speaker 2>like they'll call here and they like, hey, yeah.

0:22:39.720 --> 0:22:41.600
<v Speaker 1>You can tell. Yeah, you can tell the way that

0:22:41.640 --> 0:22:44.159
<v Speaker 1>somebody's texting you or carery communicating with you, whether or

0:22:44.200 --> 0:22:49.280
<v Speaker 1>not they want to be yeah, yeah, and yeah, and

0:22:49.320 --> 0:22:51.400
<v Speaker 1>just try. I think you were getting on the ID

0:22:51.440 --> 0:22:53.159
<v Speaker 1>subject and it's just like, yeah, not trying not to

0:22:53.280 --> 0:22:55.600
<v Speaker 1>like force ship you know.

0:22:56.600 --> 0:23:04.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, mm hmm, Caesar, what happens I out of time?

0:23:04.359 --> 0:23:06.840
<v Speaker 1>No, you're not, There's there is no there's no concept

0:23:06.840 --> 0:23:09.880
<v Speaker 1>of being out of time. I mean there's death that's

0:23:09.880 --> 0:23:16.720
<v Speaker 1>being out of time, neither dead. Are you still in

0:23:16.920 --> 0:23:19.000
<v Speaker 1>a car outside of your house?

0:23:21.520 --> 0:23:21.920
<v Speaker 2>Yes?

0:23:22.720 --> 0:23:24.440
<v Speaker 1>Oh I forgot. We don't.

0:23:24.560 --> 0:23:24.840
<v Speaker 2>We can.

0:23:24.920 --> 0:23:27.560
<v Speaker 1>We can leave this in, but for context we Caesar

0:23:27.600 --> 0:23:30.640
<v Speaker 1>and I had this conversation for like the first two

0:23:30.640 --> 0:23:32.480
<v Speaker 1>minutes of it, and then I realized I was a recording,

0:23:32.520 --> 0:23:34.960
<v Speaker 1>So I asked him if we could redo the first

0:23:34.960 --> 0:23:36.679
<v Speaker 1>two minutes of this conversation, and I can.

0:23:39.000 --> 0:23:39.240
<v Speaker 2>I don't.

0:23:39.320 --> 0:23:44.199
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'll mention that, but ninety nine percent of the

0:23:44.240 --> 0:23:47.760
<v Speaker 1>conversation was what you guys heard. But I realized in

0:23:47.800 --> 0:23:52.240
<v Speaker 1>that one percent is where the information that you were

0:23:52.280 --> 0:23:55.160
<v Speaker 1>even or no, no, we're not alive. We're just I

0:23:55.240 --> 0:23:57.320
<v Speaker 1>just I I I just put I put the phone

0:23:57.359 --> 0:24:03.680
<v Speaker 1>number on Instagram and I just started recording. But it Uh,

0:24:04.200 --> 0:24:06.359
<v Speaker 1>I forgot that the information that you are parked outside

0:24:06.400 --> 0:24:09.000
<v Speaker 1>of your house was in that bit that was lost.

0:24:09.359 --> 0:24:10.840
<v Speaker 2>Uh.

0:24:10.880 --> 0:24:12.760
<v Speaker 1>So I'm gonna I'll go. I'll let you get back

0:24:12.760 --> 0:24:16.680
<v Speaker 1>into your house. Caesar. I appreciate you sharing your story

0:24:16.680 --> 0:24:20.960
<v Speaker 1>with us, and I think you're gonna have something tells me, Caesar, something,

0:24:21.520 --> 0:24:24.040
<v Speaker 1>something tells me that you're a You're a You're a

0:24:24.119 --> 0:24:27.399
<v Speaker 1>sweet guy, and love will find its way to you.

0:24:28.000 --> 0:24:30.679
<v Speaker 1>Something tells me that I'm not just blowing smoke up

0:24:30.720 --> 0:24:31.040
<v Speaker 1>your deck.

0:24:32.880 --> 0:24:35.280
<v Speaker 2>What's it called? So? Uh you saw a message, correct,

0:24:35.400 --> 0:24:36.080
<v Speaker 2>the one that I said?

0:24:36.640 --> 0:24:38.840
<v Speaker 1>Of course, yeah, of course that's what I called.

0:24:39.920 --> 0:24:46.439
<v Speaker 2>You said, this is this isn't live? Correct? Uh No, Okay, Now,

0:24:47.160 --> 0:24:50.560
<v Speaker 2>if you want to post clips or sorts of it

0:24:50.680 --> 0:24:53.320
<v Speaker 2>or whatever, I'm cool with it and everything. If you

0:24:53.359 --> 0:24:55.879
<v Speaker 2>could kind of lead my name out, that's things.

0:24:56.920 --> 0:24:59.360
<v Speaker 1>Oh sure, wait is your name? Is your real name? Caesar?

0:25:00.480 --> 0:25:02.400
<v Speaker 2>Oh? Yeah, I should have used the fake name.

0:25:03.000 --> 0:25:06.480
<v Speaker 1>Okay, all right, Well, we can do that, Brandon. Let's

0:25:07.160 --> 0:25:07.880
<v Speaker 1>let's put.

0:25:07.760 --> 0:25:10.840
<v Speaker 2>Uh you know, you know never mind.

0:25:11.200 --> 0:25:16.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, really, yeah, serious, you want to put out there?

0:25:16.920 --> 0:25:18.920
<v Speaker 2>Put it out there? Because I was about to say, like,

0:25:19.960 --> 0:25:23.760
<v Speaker 2>so that girl from Strict Club, that's one, and there's

0:25:23.880 --> 0:25:26.919
<v Speaker 2>kind of a few others that I'm not trying to

0:25:26.960 --> 0:25:32.920
<v Speaker 2>pursue but are kind of in conversations right now. So yeah,

0:25:33.240 --> 0:25:38.640
<v Speaker 2>whichever is in the least, it's the one I spend

0:25:38.640 --> 0:25:39.000
<v Speaker 2>more time.

0:25:40.640 --> 0:25:43.040
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I see what I see what you mean? I

0:25:43.040 --> 0:25:45.239
<v Speaker 1>a bit you're are you are you worried that this

0:25:45.280 --> 0:25:48.080
<v Speaker 1>podcast will will be found by one of them an influence?

0:25:49.560 --> 0:25:54.479
<v Speaker 2>No? No, I mean I like your content. I mean

0:25:54.520 --> 0:25:57.000
<v Speaker 2>I did tell you sometimes I don't follow what I follow,

0:25:57.240 --> 0:26:00.960
<v Speaker 2>but I like your content. Like it's weird, it's funny,

0:26:01.000 --> 0:26:03.000
<v Speaker 2>and it's a guy and a great in a get

0:26:03.040 --> 0:26:07.040
<v Speaker 2>Go suit. I like it. To me. I don't think

0:26:07.119 --> 0:26:12.040
<v Speaker 2>that would ever come on to their feeds. Hopefully, hopefully

0:26:12.080 --> 0:26:14.320
<v Speaker 2>it does, like I want you to get more most

0:26:14.359 --> 0:26:17.399
<v Speaker 2>people to come through, but highly doubt it may come

0:26:17.440 --> 0:26:18.880
<v Speaker 2>across their feed You're.

0:26:18.720 --> 0:26:23.280
<v Speaker 1>Telling me that you don't believe that in general, beautiful

0:26:23.280 --> 0:26:27.680
<v Speaker 1>women have therapy. Gecko come across on the Instagram feed

0:26:28.040 --> 0:26:28.480
<v Speaker 1>for sure.

0:26:28.720 --> 0:26:32.040
<v Speaker 2>For sure, I'm sure you get get callers and beautiful

0:26:32.040 --> 0:26:38.000
<v Speaker 2>women coming through, like, uh, what's it called from the

0:26:38.000 --> 0:26:42.280
<v Speaker 2>two that are kind of in conversation with right now. Uh,

0:26:43.480 --> 0:26:47.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, maybe maybe it might come across. It's

0:26:47.800 --> 0:26:49.320
<v Speaker 2>just two two people, righture.

0:26:49.600 --> 0:26:53.159
<v Speaker 1>But okay, yeah, all right, I'm gonna this is all right,

0:26:53.200 --> 0:26:56.199
<v Speaker 1>this is I'm gonna take this as your final answer

0:26:56.240 --> 0:26:57.600
<v Speaker 1>that we can keep the name Caesar.

0:26:58.600 --> 0:27:02.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Yeah, and I'll possibly just just burn myself and

0:27:03.680 --> 0:27:04.560
<v Speaker 2>ruin all chances.

0:27:04.640 --> 0:27:06.640
<v Speaker 1>But you don't have to burn I can I tell

0:27:06.640 --> 0:27:09.240
<v Speaker 1>you something and listen, I listen sees you don't have

0:27:09.240 --> 0:27:12.280
<v Speaker 1>to burn yourself genuinely. I mean, I'm sure I think

0:27:12.359 --> 0:27:19.639
<v Speaker 1>you my my my view of you from the half

0:27:19.680 --> 0:27:22.720
<v Speaker 1>hour that I've been talking to you is a positive view.

0:27:22.800 --> 0:27:29.560
<v Speaker 1>So I don't think that this would negatively. It seems

0:27:29.560 --> 0:27:31.320
<v Speaker 1>to me that women and this is, by the way,

0:27:31.359 --> 0:27:34.879
<v Speaker 1>this is like a dude. I read a book about

0:27:34.880 --> 0:27:39.760
<v Speaker 1>this when I was like twenty. It's called Models by

0:27:39.760 --> 0:27:46.000
<v Speaker 1>this guy, Mark Manson. But actually, I think certain certain

0:27:46.080 --> 0:27:52.560
<v Speaker 1>kinds of women are really attracted to, uh, you know,

0:27:53.160 --> 0:27:58.199
<v Speaker 1>a guy who's who's emotionally vulnerable and honest about his

0:27:58.880 --> 0:28:02.000
<v Speaker 1>feelings and whatnot. And so I think I think that

0:28:02.040 --> 0:28:07.359
<v Speaker 1>the waitress at the strip club that night, you know,

0:28:07.520 --> 0:28:09.600
<v Speaker 1>the thing that I guess you found embarrassing, I say,

0:28:09.640 --> 0:28:14.119
<v Speaker 1>it seems as though that actually, like the authenticity of

0:28:14.160 --> 0:28:17.639
<v Speaker 1>that perhaps drew her in, you know, and you strike

0:28:17.720 --> 0:28:23.760
<v Speaker 1>me as an authentic guy, So I wouldn't look at

0:28:23.760 --> 0:28:27.520
<v Speaker 1>any of this is anything to be embarrassed from my perspective.

0:28:29.880 --> 0:28:33.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I get it. But like she is the

0:28:33.320 --> 0:28:35.800
<v Speaker 2>only one that I kind of that kind of really

0:28:35.880 --> 0:28:43.240
<v Speaker 2>knows me, somewhat knows me. But part of me, yeah,

0:28:43.320 --> 0:28:46.120
<v Speaker 2>there's another part of me, Like you said, you see

0:28:46.120 --> 0:28:50.120
<v Speaker 2>me as a nice, genuine person. That that's your point

0:28:50.520 --> 0:28:55.640
<v Speaker 2>of view of me, correct, h h. But other side

0:28:55.640 --> 0:28:59.520
<v Speaker 2>of me, I'm actually kind of still an asshole.

0:29:00.560 --> 0:29:03.040
<v Speaker 1>That's okay, I don't but love it. But I'm going

0:29:03.120 --> 0:29:06.760
<v Speaker 1>to refute this real quick because I don't think that

0:29:06.960 --> 0:29:10.920
<v Speaker 1>the part of you that's kind of an asshole necessarily

0:29:13.360 --> 0:29:16.360
<v Speaker 1>negates or refutes the part of you that I am

0:29:16.400 --> 0:29:21.720
<v Speaker 1>perceiving right now. I think that those two parts of

0:29:21.720 --> 0:29:26.720
<v Speaker 1>your existence, uh, can coexist as you are a dynamic,

0:29:26.840 --> 0:29:28.080
<v Speaker 1>multifaceted human being.

0:29:35.200 --> 0:29:40.200
<v Speaker 2>I feel like sometimes I'm probably long, but I feel

0:29:40.240 --> 0:29:43.840
<v Speaker 2>like sometimes that autistic because you kind of lost me

0:29:43.880 --> 0:29:44.520
<v Speaker 2>there a little bit.

0:29:45.200 --> 0:29:45.920
<v Speaker 1>Oh, I love.

0:29:51.240 --> 0:29:51.280
<v Speaker 2>No.

0:29:51.360 --> 0:29:53.520
<v Speaker 1>I feel like if you're artistic, if if you are autistic,

0:29:53.560 --> 0:29:54.560
<v Speaker 1>would have been locked in.

0:29:57.400 --> 0:30:00.800
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes. But like, uh, I'm good with words, but sometimes

0:30:00.800 --> 0:30:03.959
<v Speaker 2>I also fucking my words as well, and also with

0:30:04.040 --> 0:30:07.240
<v Speaker 2>the chicks, I'm lost for words as well.

0:30:07.480 --> 0:30:08.800
<v Speaker 1>So I get you.

0:30:08.920 --> 0:30:09.080
<v Speaker 4>Man.

0:30:10.080 --> 0:30:11.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, today, he's also kind of been a long day.

0:30:12.880 --> 0:30:14.680
<v Speaker 1>See, it's been nice talking you, Suess. I'm gonna let

0:30:14.680 --> 0:30:17.760
<v Speaker 1>you get back into your house. Anything. Is there anything

0:30:17.760 --> 0:30:18.920
<v Speaker 1>else you want to say to the people of the

0:30:18.920 --> 0:30:19.920
<v Speaker 1>computer before we go?

0:30:21.840 --> 0:30:27.000
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm. I hope everyone finds love, true love and

0:30:27.480 --> 0:30:30.240
<v Speaker 2>not get taken advantage of.

0:30:31.760 --> 0:30:32.280
<v Speaker 1>Thank you, brother.

0:30:32.360 --> 0:30:35.560
<v Speaker 2>Don't be like me. Don't don't be like me, be

0:30:35.640 --> 0:30:36.800
<v Speaker 2>an actual good person.

0:30:37.560 --> 0:30:38.480
<v Speaker 1>You're doing great man.

0:30:40.200 --> 0:30:42.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this year I said I want to change, I

0:30:42.280 --> 0:30:43.360
<v Speaker 2>want to be better, so.

0:30:44.080 --> 0:30:48.840
<v Speaker 1>More take care of Thanks for sharing, man, I appreciate you.

0:30:49.920 --> 0:30:51.920
<v Speaker 2>Nice talking man you Caesar.

0:30:53.040 --> 0:30:59.719
<v Speaker 1>That was Caesar. That was really that was interesting. I

0:30:59.760 --> 0:31:03.480
<v Speaker 1>want to an update from Caesar. I really do like

0:31:04.320 --> 0:31:07.400
<v Speaker 1>of all the like callers that I would want updates

0:31:07.440 --> 0:31:09.400
<v Speaker 1>from that I can think of in my head. Caesar

0:31:09.480 --> 0:31:12.920
<v Speaker 1>is one. Caesar doesn't strike me as someone who listens

0:31:12.920 --> 0:31:15.240
<v Speaker 1>to the podcast. I think he just follows me on Instagram.

0:31:15.280 --> 0:31:18.320
<v Speaker 1>But if he does happen to listen back to this,

0:31:19.120 --> 0:31:21.400
<v Speaker 1>give me an update, Caesar. Caesar, I want to hear

0:31:21.400 --> 0:31:23.680
<v Speaker 1>from you. I a lot of people I'm like, don't

0:31:23.680 --> 0:31:29.040
<v Speaker 1>call me back for another year. I want an update

0:31:29.040 --> 0:31:30.960
<v Speaker 1>from Caesar. I would be very happy to hear from

0:31:31.000 --> 0:31:33.040
<v Speaker 1>Caesar again. Call me back and call me back in

0:31:33.080 --> 0:31:35.520
<v Speaker 1>a month, Caesar. I want to hear how your love

0:31:35.560 --> 0:31:36.800
<v Speaker 1>life's going. I'm invested in.

0:31:36.760 --> 0:31:41.840
<v Speaker 2>This all from Jude.

0:31:42.720 --> 0:31:45.320
<v Speaker 4>Hello, Hey, Hi is this Lyle?

0:31:46.000 --> 0:31:46.560
<v Speaker 2>Yes? Hi?

0:31:46.600 --> 0:31:47.000
<v Speaker 1>Who's this?

0:31:47.520 --> 0:31:47.720
<v Speaker 4>Oh?

0:31:47.880 --> 0:31:48.040
<v Speaker 3>Hi?

0:31:48.200 --> 0:31:50.360
<v Speaker 4>This is uh Jude.

0:31:50.840 --> 0:31:52.680
<v Speaker 1>What's going on, Jude? How's life?

0:31:52.880 --> 0:31:54.280
<v Speaker 4>I think it's going well so far.

0:31:54.440 --> 0:31:54.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:31:54.800 --> 0:31:56.880
<v Speaker 4>I mean a lot's been happening in the last few

0:31:56.880 --> 0:32:02.080
<v Speaker 4>months for me. But all things considered, could be could

0:32:02.160 --> 0:32:04.680
<v Speaker 4>be worse. I guess that's something to say, But I

0:32:04.720 --> 0:32:06.040
<v Speaker 4>think it's going just fine.

0:32:06.080 --> 0:32:10.000
<v Speaker 1>You know, was there any particular reason why you wanted

0:32:10.040 --> 0:32:10.760
<v Speaker 1>to call me today?

0:32:12.640 --> 0:32:15.000
<v Speaker 4>Honestly, I just saw you were online and I figured

0:32:15.040 --> 0:32:18.880
<v Speaker 4>I I have tried calling you before on like other

0:32:18.960 --> 0:32:23.040
<v Speaker 4>fronts that I've kind of already had, I guess sort

0:32:23.040 --> 0:32:26.640
<v Speaker 4>of like topics in mind for but I just didn't

0:32:26.640 --> 0:32:29.120
<v Speaker 4>think you were gonna pick up. So I was like, whatever,

0:32:29.200 --> 0:32:31.680
<v Speaker 4>I'll give a call and shit. So you know, I'm

0:32:31.680 --> 0:32:36.920
<v Speaker 4>a little uh I guess, uh no, that's that's okay.

0:32:37.360 --> 0:32:37.600
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:32:37.800 --> 0:32:37.920
<v Speaker 3>Uh.

0:32:38.160 --> 0:32:42.680
<v Speaker 1>We put this podcast through like a background noise removal thing,

0:32:42.760 --> 0:32:44.240
<v Speaker 1>so I don't know if it'll pick this up. But

0:32:44.720 --> 0:32:47.400
<v Speaker 1>you sound like you have a baby in the back.

0:32:47.480 --> 0:32:50.640
<v Speaker 4>I do absolutely actually Ceas just throwing a ball around

0:32:50.720 --> 0:32:52.520
<v Speaker 4>right now in like my apartment courtyard.

0:32:53.040 --> 0:32:57.280
<v Speaker 1>Is that your baby, Yeah it is, this is your base. Okay.

0:32:57.280 --> 0:32:58.600
<v Speaker 1>I have a really important question.

0:32:59.360 --> 0:33:00.440
<v Speaker 4>Mm hmm, go for it.

0:33:01.080 --> 0:33:02.880
<v Speaker 1>Have you seen the movie Marty Supreme?

0:33:04.280 --> 0:33:05.240
<v Speaker 2>I haven't yet.

0:33:05.320 --> 0:33:06.640
<v Speaker 4>No, I've been hearing great things though.

0:33:06.960 --> 0:33:09.520
<v Speaker 1>Ah fuck, all right, well shit now I can't talk

0:33:09.560 --> 0:33:12.920
<v Speaker 1>about it. Okay, it's a great I can't why I can't.

0:33:12.960 --> 0:33:14.720
<v Speaker 1>The question I had for you would require me to

0:33:14.720 --> 0:33:16.560
<v Speaker 1>spoil the movie, and so I don't want to go.

0:33:16.800 --> 0:33:19.240
<v Speaker 4>You know what, It's all right, though, go for it

0:33:19.400 --> 0:33:22.960
<v Speaker 4>all No, that's like it's too important of a spoiler,

0:33:23.040 --> 0:33:24.200
<v Speaker 4>is it it is?

0:33:24.280 --> 0:33:25.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? No, you should go see that. I actually haven't

0:33:26.040 --> 0:33:29.720
<v Speaker 1>yet fully talked about I mean, that's not what this

0:33:30.000 --> 0:33:32.600
<v Speaker 1>podcast is about. But I haven't talked about yet how

0:33:32.640 --> 0:33:34.920
<v Speaker 1>much I loved that movie. Everyone should go see that movie.

0:33:34.920 --> 0:33:36.959
<v Speaker 1>It's a good movie anyway, Okay, And I can't tell you.

0:33:37.040 --> 0:33:39.840
<v Speaker 1>I can't tell you why, but I can't tell you

0:33:39.920 --> 0:33:41.920
<v Speaker 1>why I brought up that movie without spoiling it anyway.

0:33:41.960 --> 0:33:43.840
<v Speaker 1>All Right, you have a child, feel like.

0:33:43.880 --> 0:33:46.960
<v Speaker 4>I might have. She's too and a quarter.

0:33:47.440 --> 0:33:48.160
<v Speaker 1>How old are you.

0:33:49.880 --> 0:33:50.760
<v Speaker 4>Twenty six?

0:33:51.680 --> 0:33:55.040
<v Speaker 1>Oh shit? Okay, dude, what's it like being dad? Was

0:33:55.040 --> 0:33:55.840
<v Speaker 1>it like being a dad?

0:33:55.880 --> 0:34:00.479
<v Speaker 4>Honestly, it's fucking insane, like people always say it, you know,

0:34:00.600 --> 0:34:02.920
<v Speaker 4>the moment I saw my kid let changed for me

0:34:02.960 --> 0:34:05.200
<v Speaker 4>and you think it's like a load of shit, but

0:34:05.320 --> 0:34:09.439
<v Speaker 4>it really isn't. Actually, it's pretty intense, Like you feel

0:34:09.480 --> 0:34:13.759
<v Speaker 4>this really primal sort of like emotion that you've never

0:34:13.880 --> 0:34:19.200
<v Speaker 4>really ever thought was even anywhere within I guess like reach.

0:34:19.360 --> 0:34:21.799
<v Speaker 4>And it's just sort of like, I don't know, your

0:34:21.880 --> 0:34:25.040
<v Speaker 4>DNA gets fucking changed, and it just says like you

0:34:25.200 --> 0:34:28.279
<v Speaker 4>have to protect and fucking provide for this little thing

0:34:28.360 --> 0:34:30.960
<v Speaker 4>for the rest of his life, you know, Like it's

0:34:31.080 --> 0:34:33.960
<v Speaker 4>it's pretty it's pretty intense. She's she's yelling at me

0:34:34.040 --> 0:34:35.560
<v Speaker 4>right now that she doesn't want me to play with her.

0:34:35.600 --> 0:34:41.400
<v Speaker 4>But even now I'm like, yo, that's that's kind of shitty,

0:34:41.600 --> 0:34:43.160
<v Speaker 4>but you know, I got to give her a space.

0:34:43.239 --> 0:34:48.120
<v Speaker 4>And uh yet it's it's a whole array of emotions

0:34:48.160 --> 0:34:50.520
<v Speaker 4>because I mean, you know, people they always ask you like,

0:34:51.040 --> 0:34:54.120
<v Speaker 4>are you ready? But I don't think anybody's ever ready

0:34:54.160 --> 0:34:59.719
<v Speaker 4>for any moment because, like you know, every every instance

0:34:59.760 --> 0:35:02.120
<v Speaker 4>that that happens, when when it comes down to like

0:35:02.280 --> 0:35:05.680
<v Speaker 4>having a kid is sort of just like absolutely brand new.

0:35:05.680 --> 0:35:08.200
<v Speaker 4>They kind of die at the end of every night

0:35:08.239 --> 0:35:11.760
<v Speaker 4>and are reborn every morning because they're just constantly fucking changing.

0:35:12.040 --> 0:35:14.879
<v Speaker 4>So it's it's like you you have to take care

0:35:14.880 --> 0:35:17.279
<v Speaker 4>of a new person every single day and you just

0:35:17.320 --> 0:35:22.080
<v Speaker 4>have to kind of adapt to this like incredibly unreasonable

0:35:22.120 --> 0:35:24.840
<v Speaker 4>force that just has your face.

0:35:27.360 --> 0:35:28.360
<v Speaker 1>What's your name again?

0:35:30.000 --> 0:35:33.680
<v Speaker 4>Uh, I'm using my kid's name, but we'll go with Jude.

0:35:33.920 --> 0:35:38.240
<v Speaker 1>Jude. That was you're you're a well spoken gentleman.

0:35:38.320 --> 0:35:38.560
<v Speaker 2>Jude.

0:35:38.560 --> 0:35:44.080
<v Speaker 1>I enjoyed that description. It is interesting a new person

0:35:44.200 --> 0:35:49.440
<v Speaker 1>is born every day. You feel like you're going up

0:35:49.480 --> 0:35:53.480
<v Speaker 1>against a different child every day. Like it's really that

0:35:53.560 --> 0:35:57.440
<v Speaker 1>it's that inconsistent the personality is is ever evolving?

0:35:58.320 --> 0:36:01.400
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, you know, I will say that the interests they'll

0:36:01.520 --> 0:36:04.719
<v Speaker 4>they'll stick. And so, like, I know, she loves blue

0:36:05.080 --> 0:36:07.040
<v Speaker 4>and that's not going to change for a good minute.

0:36:07.120 --> 0:36:09.520
<v Speaker 4>She loves the rolling Stones, that's fine, gonna change for

0:36:09.560 --> 0:36:09.839
<v Speaker 4>a while.

0:36:09.880 --> 0:36:13.760
<v Speaker 1>She she she's two.

0:36:15.000 --> 0:36:18.800
<v Speaker 4>She's two in a quarter. Yet she's really like aware

0:36:19.120 --> 0:36:21.920
<v Speaker 4>for her age. I always get people kind of like,

0:36:22.520 --> 0:36:26.120
<v Speaker 4>generally I don't know, kind of questioning if I'm lying

0:36:26.160 --> 0:36:29.480
<v Speaker 4>about her age because she just seems really and I

0:36:29.520 --> 0:36:31.799
<v Speaker 4>know everybody goes, oh, my kid's soul blah blah blah

0:36:31.800 --> 0:36:35.000
<v Speaker 4>blah blah, but like I don't, I don't consider she's

0:36:35.040 --> 0:36:37.000
<v Speaker 4>not over here fucking you know, in three years. I

0:36:37.080 --> 0:36:40.840
<v Speaker 4>don't expect her to be Beethoven composing symphonies like fucking death.

0:36:41.000 --> 0:36:45.680
<v Speaker 4>But I do think she's uh got, I don't know, Well,

0:36:45.800 --> 0:36:47.759
<v Speaker 4>like this, this kind of believes into something else that

0:36:47.760 --> 0:36:50.680
<v Speaker 4>I've I've kind of had in mind about like that

0:36:50.760 --> 0:36:54.200
<v Speaker 4>I read this series, this book series that really dipped

0:36:54.200 --> 0:36:56.200
<v Speaker 4>into like reincarnation and ship, and I'm just like, this

0:36:56.360 --> 0:37:00.360
<v Speaker 4>definitely is not this kid's first rodeo, Like he's been around.

0:37:01.360 --> 0:37:05.200
<v Speaker 1>That's fascinating. Okay, all right, I have. I have lots

0:37:05.239 --> 0:37:10.440
<v Speaker 1>of questions. Uh anyway, First of all, I put a

0:37:10.440 --> 0:37:13.400
<v Speaker 1>pin in the uh reincarnation things. I want to talk

0:37:13.440 --> 0:37:15.719
<v Speaker 1>about that. But she's two years old and she likes

0:37:15.719 --> 0:37:18.480
<v Speaker 1>the rolling Stones, Like does she like the rolling Stones

0:37:18.520 --> 0:37:20.480
<v Speaker 1>in the sense that like you put on the music

0:37:20.520 --> 0:37:23.120
<v Speaker 1>for her and she likes the music, or does she

0:37:23.239 --> 0:37:26.520
<v Speaker 1>like does she like know who they are? Is a

0:37:26.560 --> 0:37:31.759
<v Speaker 1>two year old conscious enough to understand mick Jack's existence.

0:37:32.800 --> 0:37:37.279
<v Speaker 4>I will say that she's she's aware of of influence,

0:37:37.520 --> 0:37:40.879
<v Speaker 4>like as in sometimes she'll see me try to shoehorn

0:37:41.000 --> 0:37:43.640
<v Speaker 4>some of my interests into who she is, and that's

0:37:43.640 --> 0:37:45.640
<v Speaker 4>just like a natural part of it, you know, Like

0:37:46.400 --> 0:37:49.319
<v Speaker 4>I don't know, I I guess if I had to

0:37:49.400 --> 0:37:52.640
<v Speaker 4>think of like something, even if if it's like as

0:37:52.680 --> 0:37:54.880
<v Speaker 4>my new as what I'm about to bring up. We

0:37:55.200 --> 0:37:57.720
<v Speaker 4>go to this little sushi cafe right down the street

0:37:57.719 --> 0:38:01.000
<v Speaker 4>from us, and I absolutely love of the fucking choshu

0:38:01.040 --> 0:38:03.400
<v Speaker 4>pork that's in that ramen. She hates it, and I

0:38:03.400 --> 0:38:05.680
<v Speaker 4>always go, you know, trying to go to her like, oh,

0:38:05.719 --> 0:38:07.960
<v Speaker 4>this is the these fucking knees you should eat it too,

0:38:08.000 --> 0:38:09.880
<v Speaker 4>and she was like no, no, no no, And it

0:38:09.960 --> 0:38:12.960
<v Speaker 4>kind of works that way with like generally her interest too.

0:38:13.120 --> 0:38:16.840
<v Speaker 4>I mean, she didn't fuck with Batman forever just because

0:38:17.600 --> 0:38:20.360
<v Speaker 4>you know, she she really likes bright tones and just

0:38:20.640 --> 0:38:22.920
<v Speaker 4>h I guess he's an optimistic kind of kid, and

0:38:24.560 --> 0:38:27.279
<v Speaker 4>our relationship is sort of like a Batman Superman kind

0:38:27.280 --> 0:38:31.200
<v Speaker 4>of thing, where it's just like she's this bright ray

0:38:31.239 --> 0:38:34.760
<v Speaker 4>of light that sort of like is just unfettered and shines.

0:38:34.920 --> 0:38:39.000
<v Speaker 4>And I've always been more kind of a pessimistic, kind

0:38:39.040 --> 0:38:42.600
<v Speaker 4>of detached person. So it's like, you know, as much

0:38:42.600 --> 0:38:45.000
<v Speaker 4>as I would want her to love that man, she won't.

0:38:45.239 --> 0:38:48.080
<v Speaker 4>So when I put on the Stones, she was just

0:38:48.120 --> 0:38:51.960
<v Speaker 4>like it was it was jumping Jack Flash, and she

0:38:52.040 --> 0:38:54.680
<v Speaker 4>just started moving her little fucking head, her little fucking heat,

0:38:54.760 --> 0:38:57.840
<v Speaker 4>and I was like, okay, well, I'm gonna introduce to

0:38:57.880 --> 0:39:02.040
<v Speaker 4>you what this band is called. And she she recently

0:39:02.080 --> 0:39:06.440
<v Speaker 4>also kind of picked up on Nirvana too, and it's just, honestly,

0:39:06.480 --> 0:39:08.759
<v Speaker 4>it's just fancy shirts. I think that's kind of what

0:39:09.880 --> 0:39:15.920
<v Speaker 4>helps kind of introduce the concepts of these musical groups.

0:39:16.960 --> 0:39:20.920
<v Speaker 4>But generally music has always been something that's fascinated her.

0:39:21.960 --> 0:39:24.920
<v Speaker 1>So but you said to me, sorry to interrupt you,

0:39:24.960 --> 0:39:31.600
<v Speaker 1>but you said that you are a generally pessimistic, detached person.

0:39:31.960 --> 0:39:35.879
<v Speaker 1>Did that Did she change any of that in you?

0:39:35.880 --> 0:39:39.600
<v Speaker 4>You know it? It definitely took uh uh, she did,

0:39:39.680 --> 0:39:42.280
<v Speaker 4>she did, for sure, But it took some time because

0:39:42.760 --> 0:39:46.160
<v Speaker 4>I mean she was born and you know, my uh

0:39:46.880 --> 0:39:49.720
<v Speaker 4>my baby mama, because we did separate, she was always

0:39:49.719 --> 0:39:51.880
<v Speaker 4>more on the optimistic side of things. But for me,

0:39:52.000 --> 0:39:55.400
<v Speaker 4>I just like, I'm not even joking. The very first

0:39:55.560 --> 0:39:58.520
<v Speaker 4>I want to say, like thirty forty days that she

0:39:58.640 --> 0:40:01.680
<v Speaker 4>was born, I would up till like four in the

0:40:01.719 --> 0:40:04.560
<v Speaker 4>morning just fucking watching her breathe, making sure she like

0:40:05.040 --> 0:40:08.120
<v Speaker 4>didn't spontaneously die on me or something, or you know,

0:40:08.360 --> 0:40:11.680
<v Speaker 4>like sometimes kids will roll over and or you'll hear like, oh,

0:40:11.760 --> 0:40:14.200
<v Speaker 4>you know, if only someone was awake, they wouldn't have

0:40:14.320 --> 0:40:17.560
<v Speaker 4>choked on there, like you know, fucking they drink and

0:40:17.719 --> 0:40:19.600
<v Speaker 4>ounce too much of milk and they're gone, and it's

0:40:19.680 --> 0:40:22.560
<v Speaker 4>like holy shit, you know, and it it bleeds into

0:40:22.600 --> 0:40:25.279
<v Speaker 4>a lot more than just that. But I will say,

0:40:25.360 --> 0:40:31.759
<v Speaker 4>she's she's she changed a lot about me, m and

0:40:32.040 --> 0:40:32.560
<v Speaker 4>for the better.

0:40:32.640 --> 0:40:32.799
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:40:33.080 --> 0:40:36.640
<v Speaker 1>It's just what happened with your baby mama.

0:40:38.600 --> 0:40:41.719
<v Speaker 4>Honestly, it was. It was just kind of the age

0:40:41.719 --> 0:40:44.640
<v Speaker 4>old story. It's funny. We we fit a lot of statistics,

0:40:44.680 --> 0:40:48.120
<v Speaker 4>like almost down to the tea, And it was actually

0:40:48.120 --> 0:40:49.520
<v Speaker 4>something that I kind of had in mind where I

0:40:49.520 --> 0:40:51.600
<v Speaker 4>was like, maybe I should start being safe about, like,

0:40:52.080 --> 0:40:57.320
<v Speaker 4>you know, coitus, because I remember, hold up, hold.

0:40:57.160 --> 0:40:59.560
<v Speaker 1>Up, what what do you mean by you fit a

0:40:59.600 --> 0:41:01.040
<v Speaker 1>lot of statistics?

0:41:01.560 --> 0:41:01.640
<v Speaker 2>So?

0:41:02.680 --> 0:41:05.960
<v Speaker 4>Do you know what the average amount of time that

0:41:06.040 --> 0:41:09.040
<v Speaker 4>you have to for lack of a better word, right now,

0:41:09.239 --> 0:41:15.440
<v Speaker 4>bang someone to get them pregnant, like concurrently through you know,

0:41:15.520 --> 0:41:17.759
<v Speaker 4>like a period of time that you're with them for

0:41:17.920 --> 0:41:19.280
<v Speaker 4>like on on average.

0:41:20.080 --> 0:41:22.680
<v Speaker 1>My guess, I think it's a lot, right, Like it's

0:41:22.800 --> 0:41:25.280
<v Speaker 1>it's hard to get pregnant, like people have to try.

0:41:25.480 --> 0:41:28.120
<v Speaker 4>Well, I think it, you know what. And I don't

0:41:28.160 --> 0:41:29.920
<v Speaker 4>remember if I looked at the age range that we

0:41:29.920 --> 0:41:32.719
<v Speaker 4>were when this happened, but maybe it's very specific to

0:41:33.120 --> 0:41:35.480
<v Speaker 4>when we were. I believe we were twenty three and

0:41:35.680 --> 0:41:41.799
<v Speaker 4>twenty two ish and it's eight months and that's exactly

0:41:42.000 --> 0:41:44.160
<v Speaker 4>when I googled that. And then I'm not joking, Like

0:41:44.200 --> 0:41:47.040
<v Speaker 4>two days later, she's like, yo, I'm pregnant. I'm like fuck, okay,

0:41:47.600 --> 0:41:48.160
<v Speaker 4>wait you were like.

0:41:48.080 --> 0:41:51.200
<v Speaker 1>Fuck okay, okay, hold on, you were you were like

0:41:51.320 --> 0:41:54.840
<v Speaker 1>you just you keep unraveling. You were like, fuck, okay,

0:41:55.560 --> 0:42:01.920
<v Speaker 1>but yeah, were you having unprotected sex with this lady

0:42:02.920 --> 0:42:04.760
<v Speaker 1>for eight months?

0:42:05.680 --> 0:42:07.000
<v Speaker 2>Eight eight months?

0:42:07.080 --> 0:42:09.160
<v Speaker 1>Just we you know, were you pull an ounce?

0:42:09.719 --> 0:42:10.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:42:10.120 --> 0:42:12.520
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, of course, you know, right all over the back.

0:42:12.719 --> 0:42:13.600
<v Speaker 4>That's what you gotta do.

0:42:13.719 --> 0:42:15.920
<v Speaker 1>But you know, were you doing it? Were you doing

0:42:16.000 --> 0:42:17.000
<v Speaker 1>it at the last minute?

0:42:18.400 --> 0:42:21.439
<v Speaker 4>No, well, for the most part, yes, But I will

0:42:21.480 --> 0:42:24.400
<v Speaker 4>just say I know when I conceived my child, and

0:42:24.440 --> 0:42:28.440
<v Speaker 4>I know exactly why it happened, And honestly, it's because

0:42:28.440 --> 0:42:32.320
<v Speaker 4>of the fucking uh Friends Christmas episode where Phoebe's singing

0:42:32.360 --> 0:42:34.720
<v Speaker 4>a happy kitty sad kitty at that cafe.

0:42:36.840 --> 0:42:38.320
<v Speaker 1>I have no idea what you're talking about.

0:42:39.239 --> 0:42:41.640
<v Speaker 4>So there's this friend's episode. Honestly, it could have been

0:42:41.680 --> 0:42:44.520
<v Speaker 4>any fucking Friends episode. We were we were traveling like

0:42:45.440 --> 0:42:48.160
<v Speaker 4>to Arizona because that's where my siblings are, and she

0:42:48.160 --> 0:42:51.120
<v Speaker 4>she came along with me, right like we were a ers.

0:42:51.440 --> 0:42:55.319
<v Speaker 4>Well we were some months in the point is it'll

0:42:55.400 --> 0:42:57.880
<v Speaker 4>kind of lined up to that day like when I

0:42:57.880 --> 0:43:00.800
<v Speaker 4>trace it back. Obviously I don't have like the exact

0:43:00.880 --> 0:43:03.680
<v Speaker 4>timeline etched into my head, so I can't give you exact,

0:43:04.200 --> 0:43:07.120
<v Speaker 4>you know, details on it, but I will say a

0:43:07.280 --> 0:43:10.840
<v Speaker 4>thousand percent that day I fell asleep on top of

0:43:10.880 --> 0:43:13.160
<v Speaker 4>her because I was I was we were just you know,

0:43:13.280 --> 0:43:15.480
<v Speaker 4>like shit, we we got a motel, we might as

0:43:15.480 --> 0:43:16.080
<v Speaker 4>well use it.

0:43:16.560 --> 0:43:19.640
<v Speaker 1>And I have to keep a sorry, sorry, sorry, I

0:43:19.719 --> 0:43:25.400
<v Speaker 1>keep interrupting you, but I'm trying to. Okay, you're good. Okay,

0:43:26.200 --> 0:43:29.120
<v Speaker 1>you're telling me that an episode of Friends.

0:43:29.920 --> 0:43:31.719
<v Speaker 4>You're telling me on top of her.

0:43:32.080 --> 0:43:35.120
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so you're having sex with your girlfriend and then

0:43:35.600 --> 0:43:39.000
<v Speaker 1>while watching, while watching Friends, and then you what you

0:43:39.000 --> 0:43:40.200
<v Speaker 1>come in your sleep?

0:43:41.600 --> 0:43:46.080
<v Speaker 4>I think I just like I was so bored and

0:43:46.239 --> 0:43:50.719
<v Speaker 4>just like I guess numb to both like this act

0:43:50.800 --> 0:43:52.480
<v Speaker 4>we were having at the time as well as like

0:43:52.520 --> 0:43:54.440
<v Speaker 4>this episode of Friends that I was just kind of like,

0:43:55.560 --> 0:43:58.240
<v Speaker 4>I really dropped the ball, you know. I was distracted, fell.

0:43:58.000 --> 0:44:02.080
<v Speaker 1>Asleep with your You like, okay, so you're having sex

0:44:02.120 --> 0:44:04.120
<v Speaker 1>with this lady. Girlfriends drifting.

0:44:04.239 --> 0:44:06.080
<v Speaker 4>I was drifting to sleep. I was like in and

0:44:06.080 --> 0:44:08.719
<v Speaker 4>out of consciousness, and I was like, I should stay up.

0:44:08.840 --> 0:44:12.080
<v Speaker 4>This is happening, and but you know, Friends was on

0:44:12.120 --> 0:44:13.719
<v Speaker 4>in the background. I was like, this isn't doing it

0:44:13.760 --> 0:44:16.520
<v Speaker 4>for me. I was in Austin, Man, I drove like

0:44:16.680 --> 0:44:18.320
<v Speaker 4>nine hours.

0:44:18.360 --> 0:44:24.520
<v Speaker 1>I've never heard of somebody coming in there. Well okay, well, okay,

0:44:24.520 --> 0:44:28.840
<v Speaker 1>all right, hola haha, you had a wet dream inside

0:44:28.880 --> 0:44:35.799
<v Speaker 1>of a girlfriend, is what I'm hearing. Yeah, essentially, that's hilarious.

0:44:37.520 --> 0:44:40.839
<v Speaker 4>Yeah yeah. But I do remember also thinking, like day,

0:44:40.880 --> 0:44:42.480
<v Speaker 4>maybe I should get Plan B And at the time

0:44:42.520 --> 0:44:44.480
<v Speaker 4>I didn't know they cost like eight bucks at Costco.

0:44:44.520 --> 0:44:45.759
<v Speaker 4>And I was like, I'm not I just went on

0:44:45.800 --> 0:44:48.080
<v Speaker 4>a road trip. I'm not trying to drop fifty bucks.

0:44:51.120 --> 0:44:52.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't have to tell you how much more expensive

0:44:52.960 --> 0:44:54.319
<v Speaker 1>having a child is than Plan B.

0:44:55.320 --> 0:44:57.920
<v Speaker 4>Oh, one thousand percent. But also I was like, I mean,

0:44:58.160 --> 0:45:01.560
<v Speaker 4>we've been doing this for how long? And it that happened? Like, okay,

0:45:01.600 --> 0:45:04.360
<v Speaker 4>I slip up once? What what are the odds the

0:45:04.400 --> 0:45:08.520
<v Speaker 4>one time I fall asleep while you know, just a

0:45:08.560 --> 0:45:12.040
<v Speaker 4>little underprepared that it's gonna happen.

0:45:12.280 --> 0:45:14.520
<v Speaker 1>And okay, so I mean it's so she it's okay,

0:45:14.520 --> 0:45:16.120
<v Speaker 1>So she tells you that she's pregnant, and what's your

0:45:16.120 --> 0:45:16.880
<v Speaker 1>first response?

0:45:18.080 --> 0:45:18.560
<v Speaker 2>A fuck?

0:45:19.200 --> 0:45:21.759
<v Speaker 4>Straight up? I was just like, I don't, I mean,

0:45:21.800 --> 0:45:25.800
<v Speaker 4>I'm mind you, I'm I'm fuck. I was twenty two,

0:45:25.920 --> 0:45:32.279
<v Speaker 4>twenty three ish around there, right, and I uh sorry,

0:45:32.320 --> 0:45:33.680
<v Speaker 4>I got a text that kind of distracted me a

0:45:33.680 --> 0:45:35.680
<v Speaker 4>little bit. But I I was twenty two or twenty three.

0:45:35.920 --> 0:45:37.839
<v Speaker 4>I was in and out of college at this point

0:45:37.880 --> 0:45:41.239
<v Speaker 4>in time. I just dropped out again and I was

0:45:41.239 --> 0:45:43.920
<v Speaker 4>working at a coffee shop broke as fuck. Like my

0:45:44.080 --> 0:45:48.080
<v Speaker 4>last you know, tax thing or whatever's like twenty grand

0:45:48.120 --> 0:45:51.640
<v Speaker 4>in California. I was like, I can't afford a baby.

0:45:51.800 --> 0:45:54.560
<v Speaker 4>And also, I don't think that I should be passing

0:45:54.560 --> 0:45:58.000
<v Speaker 4>my dreams down, like they're not that great. I'm like

0:45:59.040 --> 0:46:01.640
<v Speaker 4>five eight. Most of my family has like a history

0:46:01.680 --> 0:46:03.880
<v Speaker 4>of mental illness. And I was like I was in

0:46:03.920 --> 0:46:06.520
<v Speaker 4>a real tony soprano thing where I was like, my shun,

0:46:07.280 --> 0:46:09.160
<v Speaker 4>what what the fuck did I give my shun? But

0:46:09.320 --> 0:46:12.799
<v Speaker 4>my shitty fucking dreams, you know.

0:46:13.800 --> 0:46:16.279
<v Speaker 1>So what's your life like now? Like, what do you do?

0:46:16.400 --> 0:46:19.719
<v Speaker 1>What's the what's your You're an interesting guy to me,

0:46:19.760 --> 0:46:21.919
<v Speaker 1>You're you know, you're smart, dude. I'm curious what's going

0:46:21.920 --> 0:46:22.319
<v Speaker 1>on with you.

0:46:23.239 --> 0:46:26.520
<v Speaker 4>I've always said my life is like kind of predicated

0:46:26.760 --> 0:46:32.240
<v Speaker 4>on like two very distinct forces, and it's like luck

0:46:32.560 --> 0:46:36.919
<v Speaker 4>and tragedy and uh. For the most part, recently, it's

0:46:37.000 --> 0:46:40.800
<v Speaker 4>been just a lot of really cool, lucky breaks where

0:46:41.360 --> 0:46:44.280
<v Speaker 4>you know, I knocked her up, and I it's funny.

0:46:44.320 --> 0:46:47.480
<v Speaker 4>So when I found out she was pregnant in that week,

0:46:48.600 --> 0:46:50.840
<v Speaker 4>this crazy shit happened where I I basically had to

0:46:50.880 --> 0:46:52.840
<v Speaker 4>save her life so the end, and we thought my

0:46:52.920 --> 0:46:55.320
<v Speaker 4>kid died. So it was this whole other thing. I

0:46:55.320 --> 0:47:00.560
<v Speaker 4>won't get too much into it, but essentially I I

0:47:00.560 --> 0:47:03.160
<v Speaker 4>I got hooked up with the job out in a

0:47:03.200 --> 0:47:09.120
<v Speaker 4>really big, touristy rich area and so now I kind

0:47:09.120 --> 0:47:13.680
<v Speaker 4>of I work maybe five, like maybe thirty hours a week.

0:47:14.160 --> 0:47:16.840
<v Speaker 1>I came home with, uh, wait, how did your how

0:47:16.880 --> 0:47:19.520
<v Speaker 1>did your wife almost die? What the fuck happens?

0:47:19.640 --> 0:47:19.799
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

0:47:19.880 --> 0:47:24.560
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I mean it's it's kind of crazy.

0:47:24.600 --> 0:47:29.640
<v Speaker 4>So I have I have various theories on this, one

0:47:29.680 --> 0:47:32.839
<v Speaker 4>of which is so it's funny. She she had gone

0:47:32.880 --> 0:47:35.359
<v Speaker 4>to the doctors during the time that I'd met her

0:47:35.520 --> 0:47:40.040
<v Speaker 4>for this, like Ovari insist that she had, and they

0:47:40.080 --> 0:47:42.719
<v Speaker 4>told her, like, it doesn't matter, nothing's gonna happen, like

0:47:42.719 --> 0:47:45.640
<v Speaker 4>it can just fucking stay there, It'll be fine. And

0:47:45.719 --> 0:47:49.759
<v Speaker 4>so then either one of two things was, uh, you know,

0:47:49.960 --> 0:47:54.239
<v Speaker 4>because my my uh sperm was in her and there

0:47:54.320 --> 0:47:57.120
<v Speaker 4>was a little thing at two weeks or maybe like

0:47:57.120 --> 0:48:00.800
<v Speaker 4>the size of a fucking pentoben that pent being probably

0:48:00.840 --> 0:48:05.040
<v Speaker 4>like shop on the cyst broke it. And so she's

0:48:05.239 --> 0:48:09.360
<v Speaker 4>she's a really recalcit trent person, like very headstrong and ornery.

0:48:09.880 --> 0:48:13.719
<v Speaker 4>So I'm not even joking. I remember we were in

0:48:13.800 --> 0:48:17.239
<v Speaker 4>bed and she was she was fucking just she looked

0:48:17.280 --> 0:48:19.200
<v Speaker 4>like ship. She looked like she was gonna die, and

0:48:19.239 --> 0:48:22.160
<v Speaker 4>she actually was. You know, like at one point in time,

0:48:22.680 --> 0:48:24.480
<v Speaker 4>I was like, you know, are you sure we shouldn't,

0:48:24.520 --> 0:48:26.200
<v Speaker 4>you know, go to the hosports and she's like, no, no, no,

0:48:26.280 --> 0:48:28.919
<v Speaker 4>like it really really really fucking hurts, but I'll be fine,

0:48:28.960 --> 0:48:31.120
<v Speaker 4>and and then we both dozed off, and when I

0:48:31.160 --> 0:48:34.919
<v Speaker 4>woke up, her lips were pale, she was cold, and

0:48:35.000 --> 0:48:37.239
<v Speaker 4>I like smacked her a few times and she just

0:48:37.360 --> 0:48:39.720
<v Speaker 4>was unresponsive, and I was like, you know, I finally

0:48:39.800 --> 0:48:42.040
<v Speaker 4>ended up getting a kind of like really drows.

0:48:41.920 --> 0:48:42.279
<v Speaker 2>Like, h.

0:48:44.440 --> 0:48:46.040
<v Speaker 4>Oh my mom, And I was like.

0:48:46.160 --> 0:48:48.040
<v Speaker 2>Your mom's not gonna do shit. I'm gonna call nine

0:48:48.040 --> 0:48:51.080
<v Speaker 2>one one.

0:48:50.280 --> 0:48:53.560
<v Speaker 1>And she said that like you said that exactly, like ause,

0:48:53.560 --> 0:48:59.080
<v Speaker 1>he's I'm sorry, I'm gonna call that.

0:49:00.960 --> 0:49:04.480
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, no, exactly that That's probably how I sounded in

0:49:04.520 --> 0:49:09.560
<v Speaker 4>the moment too. But I I ended up calling the ambulance.

0:49:09.880 --> 0:49:14.160
<v Speaker 4>And this was so when I say we dozed off,

0:49:15.040 --> 0:49:18.080
<v Speaker 4>it was it was again like and I don't remember

0:49:18.160 --> 0:49:20.319
<v Speaker 4>who started what I mean, she felt like shit, but

0:49:21.160 --> 0:49:26.680
<v Speaker 4>somehow like the mood came about and that was when

0:49:26.840 --> 0:49:29.439
<v Speaker 4>that was when it got really really bad. Was and

0:49:29.480 --> 0:49:32.680
<v Speaker 4>also at that time it was just like again, I'm like,

0:49:32.719 --> 0:49:34.160
<v Speaker 4>twenty two twenty three.

0:49:34.880 --> 0:49:37.080
<v Speaker 1>Dude, s down track with me real quick. What do

0:49:37.120 --> 0:49:39.640
<v Speaker 1>you mean the mood? The mood guys at the hospital.

0:49:40.680 --> 0:49:44.160
<v Speaker 4>No, no, no, no, this was before before we knocked out.

0:49:44.320 --> 0:49:48.160
<v Speaker 4>We went for another round, and I like, again, you're.

0:49:48.000 --> 0:49:51.799
<v Speaker 1>Jude, You're Jude, Jude. I think that down dude's down

0:49:51.880 --> 0:49:54.840
<v Speaker 1>track of man, okay you yeah, this lady, this lady

0:49:55.520 --> 0:50:00.600
<v Speaker 1>is falling this okay, your girlfriend is like pale and

0:50:00.600 --> 0:50:03.200
<v Speaker 1>and you called did you call nine one one?

0:50:04.360 --> 0:50:06.160
<v Speaker 4>I did a thousand percent right away?

0:50:06.200 --> 0:50:07.320
<v Speaker 1>And I guess what happens?

0:50:08.840 --> 0:50:12.200
<v Speaker 4>So then they come and they tick her to the hospital.

0:50:12.760 --> 0:50:14.960
<v Speaker 4>They have to like do some crazy surgery, and they

0:50:15.239 --> 0:50:18.160
<v Speaker 4>tell me point blank, they're like, your kid's probably dead

0:50:18.440 --> 0:50:22.359
<v Speaker 4>and she might. Yeah. They were like you're you're cause

0:50:22.680 --> 0:50:24.480
<v Speaker 4>it was like a two week old thing. It was

0:50:24.520 --> 0:50:29.000
<v Speaker 4>it was a tiny, little, like very just new form

0:50:29.040 --> 0:50:31.319
<v Speaker 4>of life again, like the size of the fucking pinto bean.

0:50:31.440 --> 0:50:33.480
<v Speaker 4>And so they were like, the kid's probably dead, like

0:50:33.520 --> 0:50:36.040
<v Speaker 4>she's lots of ships on the blood. We're gonna have

0:50:36.080 --> 0:50:38.160
<v Speaker 4>to do with surgery. And I remember asking them, like,

0:50:38.320 --> 0:50:40.600
<v Speaker 4>she'll she'll make it though, right, like at least she'll

0:50:40.600 --> 0:50:44.360
<v Speaker 4>make it, and they're like, ooh, I mean no promises.

0:50:44.480 --> 0:50:47.200
<v Speaker 4>I was like, fuck, So I'm just like, my kid's

0:50:47.239 --> 0:50:50.080
<v Speaker 4>dead and my girlfriend might die. That's crazy, you know,

0:50:50.880 --> 0:50:55.120
<v Speaker 4>But yeah, no, she she ended up pulling through and

0:50:55.160 --> 0:51:02.319
<v Speaker 4>then they, uh, they they ended up realizing that, you know,

0:51:03.719 --> 0:51:06.960
<v Speaker 4>the kid was still alive. But she she again was

0:51:07.000 --> 0:51:10.120
<v Speaker 4>like basically recovering from surgery, and it was like the

0:51:10.160 --> 0:51:14.520
<v Speaker 4>first two weeks of of her my kid even being

0:51:14.560 --> 0:51:17.279
<v Speaker 4>of any kind of like existence. So they told me

0:51:17.560 --> 0:51:22.080
<v Speaker 4>straight up like probably the next ultrasound, it's gonna be

0:51:22.120 --> 0:51:24.480
<v Speaker 4>like fifty to fifty, whether or not there's a heartbeat

0:51:24.640 --> 0:51:25.839
<v Speaker 4>or even anything in there.

0:51:26.560 --> 0:51:29.440
<v Speaker 1>Oh wow that How did that make it? Okay? By

0:51:29.480 --> 0:51:32.000
<v Speaker 1>the way, also, the way you were telling that story before,

0:51:33.480 --> 0:51:35.400
<v Speaker 1>when you were like because you were going in and

0:51:35.400 --> 0:51:37.480
<v Speaker 1>out of two different stories, and it made it sound

0:51:37.600 --> 0:51:39.759
<v Speaker 1>like your girlfriend got really sick and then you guys

0:51:39.800 --> 0:51:40.759
<v Speaker 1>started fucking again.

0:51:40.840 --> 0:51:45.080
<v Speaker 4>You understand, Oh no, no, no, thousand thousand percent, and.

0:51:46.160 --> 0:51:49.120
<v Speaker 1>So Jude, I'm gonna stop you.

0:51:49.120 --> 0:51:49.520
<v Speaker 2>Okay.

0:51:49.880 --> 0:51:53.960
<v Speaker 1>So okay, So when you're when you when you were

0:51:54.000 --> 0:51:58.839
<v Speaker 1>told that there was a fifty to fifty chance, like, like, what,

0:51:59.000 --> 0:51:59.840
<v Speaker 1>how did you feel?

0:51:59.840 --> 0:51:59.960
<v Speaker 2>Like?

0:52:00.080 --> 0:52:02.080
<v Speaker 1>What was going on in your because I because you

0:52:02.200 --> 0:52:06.560
<v Speaker 1>initially because like it's an interesting emotional roller coaster to

0:52:06.600 --> 0:52:08.920
<v Speaker 1>me because you initially don't didn't you were like, you know,

0:52:09.120 --> 0:52:10.799
<v Speaker 1>afraid to even have this baby, and then when you

0:52:10.840 --> 0:52:12.360
<v Speaker 1>hear it's a fifty to fifty chance, like, what do

0:52:12.400 --> 0:52:13.800
<v Speaker 1>you like? What's going on in your head?

0:52:14.040 --> 0:52:14.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:52:14.480 --> 0:52:18.239
<v Speaker 4>Well, I mean when we first got there and they

0:52:18.239 --> 0:52:20.040
<v Speaker 4>told me it was dead, I mean it felt like

0:52:20.120 --> 0:52:23.600
<v Speaker 4>I lost, I lost my kid, I lost And you know,

0:52:23.680 --> 0:52:27.520
<v Speaker 4>I never I never didn't want her. I just always

0:52:27.560 --> 0:52:31.959
<v Speaker 4>wanted to like kind of brace her mom for who

0:52:32.040 --> 0:52:34.279
<v Speaker 4>she was gonna have this baby with. So I'd just

0:52:34.280 --> 0:52:36.800
<v Speaker 4>tell her like, hey, I'm up for it, I'm game.

0:52:37.480 --> 0:52:40.040
<v Speaker 4>But you know, obviously you're like eight months in a

0:52:40.120 --> 0:52:43.080
<v Speaker 4>dat and you're not gonna disclose everything about yourself. At

0:52:43.080 --> 0:52:45.600
<v Speaker 4>that point, you're barely out of like the honeymoon phase.

0:52:45.680 --> 0:52:48.799
<v Speaker 4>So I was just like as blunt as I could be.

0:52:49.200 --> 0:52:51.000
<v Speaker 4>I told her. I was like, look, I mean, we

0:52:51.040 --> 0:52:53.680
<v Speaker 4>could do it. And then she was at whatever. Anyway,

0:52:53.920 --> 0:52:57.839
<v Speaker 4>I felt devastated. I just started bawling and crying and

0:52:58.120 --> 0:53:01.279
<v Speaker 4>I could have fucking I shut down, dude, I was.

0:53:02.360 --> 0:53:05.000
<v Speaker 2>I was just not even there.

0:53:05.200 --> 0:53:08.560
<v Speaker 4>It felt like some some part of me separated from

0:53:09.040 --> 0:53:11.680
<v Speaker 4>from who I was and just would never come back.

0:53:11.920 --> 0:53:16.600
<v Speaker 4>And then lucky, luckily enough, there was a chance, and

0:53:16.600 --> 0:53:19.920
<v Speaker 4>and so it was nothing but hope. I was just like,

0:53:20.800 --> 0:53:25.839
<v Speaker 4>I mean, I think I think this thing's gonna want

0:53:25.840 --> 0:53:29.000
<v Speaker 4>to be born. I think it's gonna fight this fucking

0:53:29.400 --> 0:53:31.920
<v Speaker 4>you know, and it and it did like against the

0:53:32.000 --> 0:53:37.000
<v Speaker 4>wants man, like you know, she just Kanda is here now.

0:53:38.280 --> 0:53:42.840
<v Speaker 1>Interesting, all right, let's go back to this thing I

0:53:42.880 --> 0:53:46.000
<v Speaker 1>put a pin in earlier about you're you've been reading

0:53:46.000 --> 0:53:47.280
<v Speaker 1>a book about reincarnation.

0:53:48.600 --> 0:53:53.160
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, so it's it's a series by Yukio Mishima. It's

0:53:53.200 --> 0:53:57.600
<v Speaker 4>called The Sea of Fertility Tetrology. And it starts off

0:53:57.640 --> 0:54:01.279
<v Speaker 4>like really super benign. It's just I mean, this guy

0:54:01.360 --> 0:54:05.560
<v Speaker 4>was a far right radical kind of guy who in

0:54:06.000 --> 0:54:09.839
<v Speaker 4>his books is trying to I mean, it's the whole

0:54:09.880 --> 0:54:14.480
<v Speaker 4>reincarnation part is a different aspect of who he is

0:54:14.840 --> 0:54:17.800
<v Speaker 4>or what his beliefs are. But essentially in the book,

0:54:18.120 --> 0:54:25.640
<v Speaker 4>there's the central kind of figure who chronicles the lives

0:54:25.760 --> 0:54:29.640
<v Speaker 4>of one of his best friends who comes back to

0:54:29.719 --> 0:54:35.879
<v Speaker 4>life and dies in like ways it just kind of

0:54:36.400 --> 0:54:39.960
<v Speaker 4>establish who he is. Like it's sort of like his

0:54:40.200 --> 0:54:45.040
<v Speaker 4>hubris ends up being, you know, it not only a

0:54:45.080 --> 0:54:49.680
<v Speaker 4>defining factor of him and his you know kind of

0:54:49.719 --> 0:54:53.520
<v Speaker 4>like coming back every time, but it manifests in a

0:54:53.560 --> 0:54:56.719
<v Speaker 4>different way. So like the first time he's kind of

0:54:56.920 --> 0:54:59.360
<v Speaker 4>obviously going through this is his friends just like this

0:54:59.520 --> 0:55:03.400
<v Speaker 4>really pure, dainty, kind of like noble guy who's just

0:55:04.640 --> 0:55:11.280
<v Speaker 4>you know, absolutely just in denial of of being anything

0:55:11.360 --> 0:55:15.040
<v Speaker 4>other than than pure. It's like, of course, I don't

0:55:15.160 --> 0:55:18.040
<v Speaker 4>like this girl, Like that's stupid. I'm I'm I'm the

0:55:18.080 --> 0:55:22.520
<v Speaker 4>embodiment of of what like pre World War One Japan

0:55:22.640 --> 0:55:25.160
<v Speaker 4>and bodies and and it's this whole other thing with

0:55:25.200 --> 0:55:27.120
<v Speaker 4>like you know, the quot shifts and shit.

0:55:27.320 --> 0:55:34.440
<v Speaker 1>But so so do you believe that, like, uh, your

0:55:34.520 --> 0:55:35.879
<v Speaker 1>kid used to be someone else?

0:55:37.080 --> 0:55:39.799
<v Speaker 4>A thousand percent. I think a lot of us used

0:55:39.800 --> 0:55:43.920
<v Speaker 4>to be people in other lives before this one, Like

0:55:43.960 --> 0:55:47.440
<v Speaker 4>there's there's certain mannerisms in me that a lot of

0:55:47.440 --> 0:55:49.919
<v Speaker 4>people kind of like jab at and they're like, what

0:55:49.960 --> 0:55:51.799
<v Speaker 4>the fuck is that, dude? Why do you do that?

0:55:51.880 --> 0:55:56.239
<v Speaker 4>Like you're not You're not. And it's it's something as

0:55:56.280 --> 0:56:00.320
<v Speaker 4>simple as like I've always had this proclivity towards likewing

0:56:00.320 --> 0:56:03.360
<v Speaker 4>my head like just slightly every time, I like, excuse

0:56:03.440 --> 0:56:05.040
<v Speaker 4>myself for and I'm like, where are the fun I'm

0:56:05.080 --> 0:56:08.360
<v Speaker 4>Mexican bro like and and and and that's the things

0:56:08.440 --> 0:56:13.160
<v Speaker 4>like nobody understands you. They're like, you're you're fucking weird

0:56:13.200 --> 0:56:15.040
<v Speaker 4>for that. And there's other things where I'm like, I'm

0:56:15.040 --> 0:56:17.920
<v Speaker 4>pretty sure I was like a Japanese dude in my past.

0:56:17.920 --> 0:56:19.920
<v Speaker 1>Was about to say. I was about to say, you like,

0:56:20.040 --> 0:56:23.600
<v Speaker 1>it's so funny to me that you read a reincarnation

0:56:23.719 --> 0:56:26.279
<v Speaker 1>book by a Japanese guy and your conclusion was like,

0:56:26.440 --> 0:56:28.720
<v Speaker 1>I was a Japanese guy in the past.

0:56:28.880 --> 0:56:30.040
<v Speaker 4>I was a Japanese guy.

0:56:32.840 --> 0:56:34.920
<v Speaker 1>So so what's next for you?

0:56:35.040 --> 0:56:35.440
<v Speaker 2>Jude?

0:56:35.640 --> 0:56:37.960
<v Speaker 1>What's uh? I You've given me a bit of a

0:56:38.000 --> 0:56:41.200
<v Speaker 1>picture of how you got to be living the life

0:56:41.239 --> 0:56:43.400
<v Speaker 1>that you're currently living. Oh what did you kind of

0:56:43.400 --> 0:56:46.239
<v Speaker 1>tell me? What happened with the baby mama. So it's

0:56:46.400 --> 0:56:47.520
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it sounds like you guys had a kind

0:56:47.560 --> 0:56:53.359
<v Speaker 1>of a close relationship. Yeah, you like like what, yeah,

0:56:53.640 --> 0:56:55.480
<v Speaker 1>did you? Did you mention what happened there?

0:56:56.400 --> 0:56:59.879
<v Speaker 4>I didn't, and it was it was anything like crazy drum.

0:57:00.360 --> 0:57:03.360
<v Speaker 4>It was just again, you know, we we sit a

0:57:03.400 --> 0:57:05.239
<v Speaker 4>lot of the statistics where it's like eight months we

0:57:05.320 --> 0:57:08.600
<v Speaker 4>got pregnant, fucking two years after having a kid, we

0:57:08.680 --> 0:57:11.320
<v Speaker 4>broke up, and it's just like no bad blood really

0:57:11.800 --> 0:57:17.360
<v Speaker 4>just generally, I don't think we we had enough. I

0:57:17.360 --> 0:57:21.680
<v Speaker 4>guess I'm not sure if it's like background or for

0:57:21.840 --> 0:57:25.200
<v Speaker 4>grand information on what a relationship. I mean, we barely

0:57:25.240 --> 0:57:27.840
<v Speaker 4>had a relationship without a kid, let alone one with

0:57:27.960 --> 0:57:31.360
<v Speaker 4>a kid, and it's just difficult to kind of, you know,

0:57:31.440 --> 0:57:36.240
<v Speaker 4>like learn to be a parent and still be a

0:57:36.280 --> 0:57:41.640
<v Speaker 4>partner when that idea of how we were gonna, like

0:57:41.720 --> 0:57:44.120
<v Speaker 4>I guess you could say love each other was never

0:57:44.160 --> 0:57:47.720
<v Speaker 4>even really fully established like we were. We were at

0:57:47.720 --> 0:57:50.360
<v Speaker 4>that point in time where you're barely setting boundaries, you're

0:57:50.400 --> 0:57:53.160
<v Speaker 4>barely starting to kind of like really understand who the

0:57:53.200 --> 0:57:56.440
<v Speaker 4>other person is. But the thing is, you know, we

0:57:56.440 --> 0:57:58.400
<v Speaker 4>were we were in a time of transition too. So

0:57:58.440 --> 0:58:02.160
<v Speaker 4>it's just like, I mean, I loved her before she

0:58:02.280 --> 0:58:04.919
<v Speaker 4>was a mother, I loved her as she was becoming one,

0:58:05.440 --> 0:58:07.880
<v Speaker 4>and then once she became one. It's not that like

0:58:08.200 --> 0:58:11.080
<v Speaker 4>I stopped or that she stopped, but just rather that

0:58:11.440 --> 0:58:15.880
<v Speaker 4>neither of us were able to really, I guess, put

0:58:15.920 --> 0:58:20.600
<v Speaker 4>in enough time or effort to continue to grow that

0:58:21.600 --> 0:58:24.880
<v Speaker 4>aspect of our lives. It was like, you know, it's

0:58:24.960 --> 0:58:27.160
<v Speaker 4>just it just kind of happened.

0:58:27.240 --> 0:58:27.600
<v Speaker 2>One day.

0:58:27.680 --> 0:58:29.400
<v Speaker 4>She came home. She was like, I don't think we

0:58:29.400 --> 0:58:31.920
<v Speaker 4>should be together, and I was like, I don't either,

0:58:32.160 --> 0:58:35.320
<v Speaker 4>Like house serendipitous, we should probably break up. She's like, probably,

0:58:35.720 --> 0:58:36.520
<v Speaker 4>all right, cool.

0:58:37.040 --> 0:58:38.480
<v Speaker 1>That makes a lot of sense to me though, that

0:58:38.560 --> 0:58:43.600
<v Speaker 1>you have a kid. And then you're like, that makes

0:58:43.600 --> 0:58:45.920
<v Speaker 1>all aspect because you you guys, So you guys were

0:58:45.960 --> 0:58:48.040
<v Speaker 1>together for for how long.

0:58:49.120 --> 0:58:54.240
<v Speaker 4>And total eight months before she got pregnant and my

0:58:54.320 --> 0:58:58.720
<v Speaker 4>kid was so it makes sense to me that almost

0:58:58.720 --> 0:58:59.240
<v Speaker 4>three years.

0:59:00.000 --> 0:59:02.240
<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay, so you stayed together for a little bit

0:59:02.240 --> 0:59:02.800
<v Speaker 1>after the kid.

0:59:04.080 --> 0:59:06.920
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:59:05.840 --> 0:59:07.439
<v Speaker 1>So you wrote that you were together with the kid

0:59:07.440 --> 0:59:08.840
<v Speaker 1>for longer than you were together without the.

0:59:08.800 --> 0:59:10.360
<v Speaker 2>Kid, exactly.

0:59:10.400 --> 0:59:12.080
<v Speaker 4>That's what That's what I mean A.

0:59:12.400 --> 0:59:14.760
<v Speaker 1>Guess it's interesting, right because you were like you had

0:59:14.760 --> 0:59:18.160
<v Speaker 1>an already premature relationship there where you didn't even like

0:59:20.080 --> 0:59:23.080
<v Speaker 1>know each other all that well, and then now you

0:59:23.080 --> 0:59:25.520
<v Speaker 1>have a kid and it's like, oh, we got to

0:59:25.560 --> 0:59:28.720
<v Speaker 1>get to know not only get to know the kid,

0:59:29.120 --> 0:59:32.800
<v Speaker 1>but get to know ourselves with the kid. And it's

0:59:32.840 --> 0:59:34.680
<v Speaker 1>just like, but with all this shit going on, there's

0:59:34.960 --> 0:59:40.160
<v Speaker 1>not enough room for you guys to really develop your relationship.

0:59:40.360 --> 0:59:41.840
<v Speaker 1>I guess that that makes a lot of sense to me,

0:59:41.960 --> 0:59:43.800
<v Speaker 1>Like just like logistically.

0:59:44.320 --> 0:59:47.640
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, it was. It was just you know, logistics,

0:59:47.720 --> 0:59:53.720
<v Speaker 4>and I mean a lot of I guess, like, you know,

0:59:53.800 --> 0:59:57.040
<v Speaker 4>we we never found our communication style. I guess you

0:59:57.040 --> 1:00:00.440
<v Speaker 4>could say it was a big because there was. And

1:00:00.600 --> 1:00:02.240
<v Speaker 4>you know, we've we've been broken up for about three

1:00:02.280 --> 1:00:03.920
<v Speaker 4>months now, and the first month we kind of just

1:00:03.960 --> 1:00:07.240
<v Speaker 4>talked it out. We just hashed out, like we were

1:00:07.240 --> 1:00:09.400
<v Speaker 4>both in a place where we wanted to understand why

1:00:09.440 --> 1:00:12.080
<v Speaker 4>it didn't work out, and I think we we came

1:00:12.120 --> 1:00:16.600
<v Speaker 4>to understand that, Like it just it just was for

1:00:16.640 --> 1:00:19.800
<v Speaker 4>the most part, both of us kind of being and

1:00:20.440 --> 1:00:21.920
<v Speaker 4>a big part of it too, is like you don't

1:00:21.960 --> 1:00:23.480
<v Speaker 4>want to argue in front of your kid. You don't

1:00:23.480 --> 1:00:25.320
<v Speaker 4>want to put that on them, but you also can't

1:00:25.360 --> 1:00:27.400
<v Speaker 4>get away from them. So it's like you never have

1:00:27.520 --> 1:00:32.280
<v Speaker 4>the time to to really work on compromise. And compromise

1:00:32.360 --> 1:00:35.560
<v Speaker 4>people say is like when neither party is happy or

1:00:36.440 --> 1:00:39.640
<v Speaker 4>you know, a thousand percent unsatisfied. So it's like we

1:00:39.680 --> 1:00:42.680
<v Speaker 4>couldn't work through that progress. So there were times where

1:00:42.720 --> 1:00:45.000
<v Speaker 4>I would play Kate what she wanted and she would

1:00:45.000 --> 1:00:48.680
<v Speaker 4>do the same without fully wanting to, because there could

1:00:48.680 --> 1:00:50.640
<v Speaker 4>have been some middle ground that we would have found,

1:00:51.120 --> 1:00:55.520
<v Speaker 4>but we never felt that we could actually work towards

1:00:55.520 --> 1:00:58.560
<v Speaker 4>it because you know, we don't want to. We don't

1:00:58.600 --> 1:01:01.520
<v Speaker 4>want to put it's a sensitive kid, we out, so

1:01:01.600 --> 1:01:04.440
<v Speaker 4>she would have picked up on it. And how terrible

1:01:04.480 --> 1:01:06.600
<v Speaker 4>is that? You know, Like I guess at the end

1:01:06.600 --> 1:01:06.760
<v Speaker 4>of the.

1:01:06.800 --> 1:01:10.840
<v Speaker 1>Day, Well, as guys, I get what you mean. It's like, Okay,

1:01:10.840 --> 1:01:12.760
<v Speaker 1>in order for us to really understand each other, we

1:01:12.880 --> 1:01:17.640
<v Speaker 1>have to like hash things out, and uh, we don't

1:01:17.640 --> 1:01:19.160
<v Speaker 1>want to be hash in it. We don't want to

1:01:19.160 --> 1:01:21.840
<v Speaker 1>be hash in and out in front of the kid.

1:01:22.720 --> 1:01:26.640
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, So it's like, you know, if it didn't work

1:01:26.680 --> 1:01:30.640
<v Speaker 4>out and we we couldn't really like fit each other's

1:01:30.720 --> 1:01:34.120
<v Speaker 4>molds quite so easily within the context of what life

1:01:34.160 --> 1:01:36.959
<v Speaker 4>had in store for us. Then that's just how she goes,

1:01:37.040 --> 1:01:37.200
<v Speaker 4>you know.

1:01:37.920 --> 1:01:42.960
<v Speaker 1>So what are you up to? What's okay? Let me

1:01:42.960 --> 1:01:45.640
<v Speaker 1>ask you this, okay, So again, Yeah, I have a

1:01:45.680 --> 1:01:47.680
<v Speaker 1>pretty clear picture of how you arrived at your life

1:01:47.680 --> 1:01:50.320
<v Speaker 1>as it is before we go, And thank you very

1:01:50.400 --> 1:01:53.680
<v Speaker 1>much for sharing all of this with us. It's been

1:01:53.760 --> 1:02:00.720
<v Speaker 1>very interesting talking to you. What's next? What's next? Are you, Jude?

1:02:00.600 --> 1:02:02.760
<v Speaker 1>Where where do you see life taking you?

1:02:04.000 --> 1:02:04.320
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

1:02:04.440 --> 1:02:07.880
<v Speaker 4>Right now, it's just kind of focusing on, you know,

1:02:08.040 --> 1:02:14.440
<v Speaker 4>raising my daughter still kind of I guess, reinvesting in

1:02:14.480 --> 1:02:18.360
<v Speaker 4>myself and pursuing the interest that you know. Unfortunately when

1:02:18.360 --> 1:02:20.000
<v Speaker 4>she was younger, you you kind of have to give

1:02:20.080 --> 1:02:24.200
<v Speaker 4>up and just generally moving on from here.

1:02:24.240 --> 1:02:24.400
<v Speaker 2>Man.

1:02:24.560 --> 1:02:28.920
<v Speaker 4>Like you know, I'm not I'm not saying like, oh

1:02:28.960 --> 1:02:33.200
<v Speaker 4>I I need someone to like feel complete, but I

1:02:33.240 --> 1:02:35.880
<v Speaker 4>am in a place where, like I feel complete enough

1:02:35.920 --> 1:02:38.280
<v Speaker 4>that it's like, okay, we're you know, I'm just gonna

1:02:38.720 --> 1:02:40.920
<v Speaker 4>go with the wind and just you know, be a

1:02:40.960 --> 1:02:43.880
<v Speaker 4>wave and fucking ride lights out and see where it

1:02:43.920 --> 1:02:46.880
<v Speaker 4>takes me in. Right now, it's like I feel good, bro,

1:02:47.000 --> 1:02:50.040
<v Speaker 4>I'm I'm I got a decent job, I might go

1:02:50.120 --> 1:02:52.880
<v Speaker 4>back to school. I have, my kid is happy with me,

1:02:53.000 --> 1:02:56.160
<v Speaker 4>and like, you know, I recently started kind of talking

1:02:56.200 --> 1:02:59.000
<v Speaker 4>to someone. So it's like it's all the up and up.

1:02:59.040 --> 1:03:03.960
<v Speaker 4>It's it's uh, just staying positive and being strong for

1:03:04.680 --> 1:03:09.000
<v Speaker 4>my child and for myself and just yeah, I think

1:03:09.160 --> 1:03:12.280
<v Speaker 4>I think there are clearers guys now than ever, and

1:03:12.320 --> 1:03:15.960
<v Speaker 4>so it's just taking in that sunlight in the you know,

1:03:16.320 --> 1:03:17.720
<v Speaker 4>can up.

1:03:19.200 --> 1:03:21.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm uh, I'm glad to hear that. It was interesting

1:03:21.160 --> 1:03:26.640
<v Speaker 1>the way you describe yourself as a life of tragedy

1:03:27.080 --> 1:03:32.640
<v Speaker 1>and luck, and it sounds like you're in a great

1:03:32.680 --> 1:03:39.960
<v Speaker 1>season of luck, that's for sure. That's awesome. Mm, thanks

1:03:40.000 --> 1:03:42.680
<v Speaker 1>for talking to me, Jude. I appreciate I appreciate this.

1:03:42.760 --> 1:03:47.720
<v Speaker 1>I felt like I feel like I learned some stuff

1:03:48.280 --> 1:03:49.200
<v Speaker 1>from listening to you.

1:03:49.920 --> 1:03:51.920
<v Speaker 4>I'm glad you could take something away from man, and

1:03:53.200 --> 1:03:55.320
<v Speaker 4>thank you for giving me my fifteen minutes.

1:03:56.680 --> 1:03:57.960
<v Speaker 1>Is there anything else you want to say is to

1:03:57.960 --> 1:03:59.520
<v Speaker 1>the people of the computer before we go?

1:04:00.560 --> 1:04:03.080
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I guess you know what I will say to

1:04:03.320 --> 1:04:05.880
<v Speaker 4>like all the single dads out there that feel like

1:04:06.560 --> 1:04:08.240
<v Speaker 4>right now, you know, maybe you might have just broken

1:04:08.320 --> 1:04:11.000
<v Speaker 4>up with or have gotten broken up with or whatever

1:04:11.040 --> 1:04:13.200
<v Speaker 4>the fuck happened between you and your baby mama, and

1:04:13.680 --> 1:04:16.040
<v Speaker 4>you come home and all your kids shit is there

1:04:16.080 --> 1:04:17.960
<v Speaker 4>and your kid's not there, and you go, damn the

1:04:18.000 --> 1:04:20.240
<v Speaker 4>Fuck'm gonna have to be be a piece of shit.

1:04:20.520 --> 1:04:23.080
<v Speaker 4>Don't do it, man, like just stuffing up. You know,

1:04:23.160 --> 1:04:26.720
<v Speaker 4>it's it's it's hard to kind of get away from

1:04:26.880 --> 1:04:30.400
<v Speaker 4>the feeling that things are never gonna be better, or

1:04:30.400 --> 1:04:33.080
<v Speaker 4>that like you've lost something that you'll never get back,

1:04:33.160 --> 1:04:36.360
<v Speaker 4>but that's still not true. Like life is so long

1:04:36.600 --> 1:04:43.120
<v Speaker 4>and you know you've got prospects out there, and don't

1:04:43.120 --> 1:04:48.120
<v Speaker 4>feel that you have to chase after something that I

1:04:48.120 --> 1:04:51.440
<v Speaker 4>guess won't chase back after you or that just wasn't

1:04:52.240 --> 1:04:54.800
<v Speaker 4>in the cards for you. People always say like I

1:04:54.840 --> 1:04:56.840
<v Speaker 4>wish I had a perfect family, and it's like, there

1:04:56.960 --> 1:04:59.200
<v Speaker 4>there really is no perfect family. Like even if you

1:04:59.200 --> 1:05:04.520
<v Speaker 4>have nuclear family, like you got problems, there's drama, there's bullshit,

1:05:04.640 --> 1:05:07.520
<v Speaker 4>and just because you're not you know, maybe with the

1:05:07.560 --> 1:05:10.280
<v Speaker 4>mother of your child, don't let that turn it to

1:05:10.920 --> 1:05:15.560
<v Speaker 4>something that it shouldn't because you know, it's just the

1:05:15.560 --> 1:05:19.200
<v Speaker 4>the the loss of I guess everything that you have

1:05:19.280 --> 1:05:21.720
<v Speaker 4>as a foundation when you become a father and a

1:05:21.760 --> 1:05:24.200
<v Speaker 4>partner in that sort of way. Is is a great

1:05:24.200 --> 1:05:27.680
<v Speaker 4>one that that's gonna really bring you down, but uh

1:05:28.240 --> 1:05:31.320
<v Speaker 4>you can, uh you can persevere and uh you know

1:05:31.680 --> 1:05:36.040
<v Speaker 4>uh in uh Herman has his said dartha. He says,

1:05:36.080 --> 1:05:39.040
<v Speaker 4>I can think, I can wait, I can fast, And

1:05:39.680 --> 1:05:45.360
<v Speaker 4>fucking Victor Frankle says that with any with any why,

1:05:45.440 --> 1:05:51.840
<v Speaker 4>there's always a how so like you know you'll uh

1:05:51.880 --> 1:05:55.960
<v Speaker 4>you'll be better, bro, don't don't let not you.

1:05:55.920 --> 1:05:59.680
<v Speaker 1>Know, Victor Victor Victor Frankel, Victor Frankl is the uh

1:05:59.720 --> 1:06:01.440
<v Speaker 1>the got the Holocaust driver guy.

1:06:02.040 --> 1:06:03.360
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:06:03.400 --> 1:06:05.040
<v Speaker 1>I've been trying to read that book.

1:06:05.960 --> 1:06:08.760
<v Speaker 4>Dude, It's it's so good. Yeah I have I'm a

1:06:08.800 --> 1:06:11.360
<v Speaker 4>few by him that I haven't been able to get

1:06:11.400 --> 1:06:15.440
<v Speaker 4>around you. But he's pretty fucking amazing. All right, let's go, you.

1:06:15.360 --> 1:06:18.960
<v Speaker 1>Know I am, but dude, I you know, I I

1:06:19.000 --> 1:06:21.840
<v Speaker 1>know I said we're gonna go in a second. But yeah,

1:06:21.880 --> 1:06:26.840
<v Speaker 1>the way the picture, the picture you painted struck me.

1:06:27.520 --> 1:06:30.440
<v Speaker 1>That's very specific thing of being a single father where

1:06:30.720 --> 1:06:34.320
<v Speaker 1>your kid's ship is at your house but they're not there,

1:06:34.480 --> 1:06:36.480
<v Speaker 1>and you're just like fuck, what do you even? What

1:06:36.600 --> 1:06:39.200
<v Speaker 1>is like? What is this room?

1:06:40.040 --> 1:06:40.120
<v Speaker 2>Is?

1:06:40.120 --> 1:06:44.280
<v Speaker 1>It is this a home? Is this a fucking bachelor den?

1:06:44.400 --> 1:06:44.520
<v Speaker 2>Like?

1:06:44.560 --> 1:06:47.480
<v Speaker 1>What the like? It's just that sounds like just a

1:06:47.480 --> 1:06:53.640
<v Speaker 1>an interesting, like mental space to be in. It sounds

1:06:53.640 --> 1:06:59.800
<v Speaker 1>like you're you're writing through it. So I'm proud of you, buddy.

1:07:00.920 --> 1:07:03.520
<v Speaker 4>Oh thank you man. Yeah, and I definitely appreciate it.

1:07:03.560 --> 1:07:07.520
<v Speaker 4>And uh again, it's for you know, like I guess,

1:07:07.520 --> 1:07:11.480
<v Speaker 4>there's always so solidarity to be found, and you know,

1:07:12.240 --> 1:07:15.720
<v Speaker 4>being in different I guess groups and stuff, and especially

1:07:15.760 --> 1:07:19.200
<v Speaker 4>like online, you always see shit about single moms and

1:07:19.280 --> 1:07:21.440
<v Speaker 4>kudos to them and to everything they go through, but

1:07:21.560 --> 1:07:24.640
<v Speaker 4>there's always that stigma about like men's mental health and

1:07:24.720 --> 1:07:27.400
<v Speaker 4>talking shit out and you know, I guess I kind

1:07:27.400 --> 1:07:31.640
<v Speaker 4>of just wanted to really quickly, uh give give voice

1:07:31.680 --> 1:07:35.320
<v Speaker 4>to to that very niche group of dudes out there

1:07:35.360 --> 1:07:37.920
<v Speaker 4>that are probably just like because you know, you work,

1:07:38.520 --> 1:07:41.880
<v Speaker 4>you work, and you come home and help contribute towards

1:07:41.920 --> 1:07:44.040
<v Speaker 4>the kid, and maybe you don't have the time to

1:07:44.040 --> 1:07:46.280
<v Speaker 4>see them. I do, thank god, but I know a

1:07:46.320 --> 1:07:48.760
<v Speaker 4>lot of people probably don't. And maybe you only have

1:07:48.800 --> 1:07:51.000
<v Speaker 4>them one they're two nights out of the fucking week,

1:07:51.120 --> 1:07:54.560
<v Speaker 4>but you know, it's it's something and they're always gonna

1:07:54.680 --> 1:07:57.200
<v Speaker 4>they're always gonna love you for that. And even if

1:07:57.400 --> 1:07:59.640
<v Speaker 4>if you don't have that constant reminder of them being

1:07:59.680 --> 1:08:02.400
<v Speaker 4>there at the end of the night to like kind

1:08:02.400 --> 1:08:05.800
<v Speaker 4>of show you what you're working for. I mean, you know,

1:08:06.000 --> 1:08:10.439
<v Speaker 4>there's still there's still wherever they are and you're still

1:08:10.440 --> 1:08:12.720
<v Speaker 4>wherever you are, and it's very important to just.

1:08:14.200 --> 1:08:15.760
<v Speaker 2>Not go.

1:08:17.320 --> 1:08:21.880
<v Speaker 4>The easy way out and slowly kind of destroy yourself

1:08:21.880 --> 1:08:23.719
<v Speaker 4>and be like, well, there's nothing I can do because

1:08:23.760 --> 1:08:25.280
<v Speaker 4>it was with their mom or they do this or

1:08:25.280 --> 1:08:28.080
<v Speaker 4>they do that. But it's like, yeah, dude, I anytime

1:08:28.080 --> 1:08:31.280
<v Speaker 4>you get to see your kids, make that opportunity. Don't

1:08:31.360 --> 1:08:34.200
<v Speaker 4>don't just go oh, well shit, you know, maybe I'll

1:08:34.240 --> 1:08:35.599
<v Speaker 4>just only see him for an hour. Maybe I'll only

1:08:35.640 --> 1:08:37.920
<v Speaker 4>see them for two. Well all right, fuck it, see

1:08:38.000 --> 1:08:39.320
<v Speaker 4>them for an hour, see them for two, take a

1:08:39.360 --> 1:08:42.760
<v Speaker 4>little fucking park, you know. Do it, because I know

1:08:42.760 --> 1:08:45.200
<v Speaker 4>there's some people that are that make themselves victims where

1:08:45.200 --> 1:08:48.640
<v Speaker 4>they're like, oh, you know, I I only see my

1:08:48.680 --> 1:08:50.840
<v Speaker 4>kid on Monday, and it's like, well, why why work

1:08:50.880 --> 1:08:53.759
<v Speaker 4>every other day? And I get tired and it's like, okay, dude,

1:08:54.320 --> 1:08:56.640
<v Speaker 4>I do it too. Everybody does too. But that's not

1:08:56.760 --> 1:08:59.400
<v Speaker 4>a fucking excuse to not to not you know, like

1:08:59.760 --> 1:09:02.519
<v Speaker 4>I don't know that you can't just like play your

1:09:02.520 --> 1:09:05.519
<v Speaker 4>part by by contributing money and one day out of

1:09:05.560 --> 1:09:08.840
<v Speaker 4>the week, like you know, but but put every effort

1:09:08.840 --> 1:09:14.639
<v Speaker 4>that you can to be a good dad. Sometimes. Yeah, absolutely,

1:09:14.680 --> 1:09:16.360
<v Speaker 4>And I'm sorry I keep sucking ranting and.

1:09:18.280 --> 1:09:20.360
<v Speaker 1>No, no, no, no, no, it's okay. I I have a

1:09:20.400 --> 1:09:23.920
<v Speaker 1>lot of respect for the for everything you just said,

1:09:23.920 --> 1:09:25.479
<v Speaker 1>I think you're doing a great fucking job. Man. I

1:09:26.040 --> 1:09:27.000
<v Speaker 1>have a lot of respect for you.

1:09:28.760 --> 1:09:31.719
<v Speaker 4>Thank you, dude. I appreciate you too, and I respect

1:09:31.760 --> 1:09:33.560
<v Speaker 4>what you do as well because, uh, you know it,

1:09:34.360 --> 1:09:36.040
<v Speaker 4>this has helped a lot for sure.

1:09:36.360 --> 1:09:36.479
<v Speaker 2>Uh.

1:09:36.600 --> 1:09:38.400
<v Speaker 4>Personally, they just get it off by just and to

1:09:38.600 --> 1:09:42.000
<v Speaker 4>uh I guess feel feel heard in the very specific

1:09:42.400 --> 1:09:45.720
<v Speaker 4>uh way and topic. And uh you do that for

1:09:45.720 --> 1:09:47.200
<v Speaker 4>for more than just me, you know, you do that

1:09:47.240 --> 1:09:50.360
<v Speaker 4>for every person who calls. And sometimes you just give

1:09:50.439 --> 1:09:53.120
<v Speaker 4>less a laughs and sometimes that's that's all you need,

1:09:53.439 --> 1:09:57.479
<v Speaker 4>you know. It's like the ridiculousness of it all, like

1:09:58.120 --> 1:10:00.519
<v Speaker 4>that I'm talking about this. Yesterday, I was about how

1:10:01.000 --> 1:10:04.080
<v Speaker 4>I wonder if at petting Zoos they make you sign

1:10:04.120 --> 1:10:06.120
<v Speaker 4>a waiver saying you might get chlamydia, or if they

1:10:06.120 --> 1:10:08.880
<v Speaker 4>test the koalas for chlamydia before letting them in the

1:10:08.880 --> 1:10:13.040
<v Speaker 4>petting zoos. And you know, like you need a perfect

1:10:13.080 --> 1:10:17.040
<v Speaker 4>little balance of both taking life seriously and and thinking

1:10:17.040 --> 1:10:19.080
<v Speaker 4>about kohala is and chlamydia.

1:10:19.640 --> 1:10:22.479
<v Speaker 1>And and with that and with that, I think we'll

1:10:22.600 --> 1:10:27.200
<v Speaker 1>end the call. Good luck, dude, man, Thank you for sharing. Man,

1:10:27.240 --> 1:10:27.960
<v Speaker 1>I appreciate it.

1:10:28.720 --> 1:10:33.200
<v Speaker 4>No, absolutely, yeah, uh, thank you. Uh, get blessed. I

1:10:33.200 --> 1:10:34.519
<v Speaker 4>guess this is what you say at the time, So

1:10:34.560 --> 1:10:35.880
<v Speaker 4>I'll say.

1:10:35.680 --> 1:10:37.240
<v Speaker 1>They take care of Jude, get blessed, brother.

1:10:38.040 --> 1:10:40.080
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, thank you, Bye bye, Okay.

1:10:41.960 --> 1:10:43.680
<v Speaker 1>I like that guy, Man, that guy is a real

1:10:43.720 --> 1:10:46.719
<v Speaker 1>sweet dude. I'm I was just blowing smoke up as ass.

1:10:46.720 --> 1:10:46.920
<v Speaker 2>Either.

1:10:46.960 --> 1:10:49.880
<v Speaker 1>I really do I respect him, irish, I respect anyone

1:10:49.880 --> 1:10:53.160
<v Speaker 1>of was fucking uh And like I really have a

1:10:53.160 --> 1:10:55.120
<v Speaker 1>lot of respect for anyone who has kids that aren't

1:10:55.240 --> 1:10:58.240
<v Speaker 1>like actively in their life and like taking care of them.

1:10:58.280 --> 1:11:02.799
<v Speaker 1>Like it's not fucking easy. Uh, it's not an easy

1:11:02.880 --> 1:11:05.880
<v Speaker 1>pledge to take either, you know. I mean it's a

1:11:05.920 --> 1:11:08.960
<v Speaker 1>lot of responsibility that feels like like I don't know, man,

1:11:09.000 --> 1:11:13.800
<v Speaker 1>like I was twenty now he's about my He's not

1:11:13.840 --> 1:11:14.719
<v Speaker 1>that much younger.

1:11:14.720 --> 1:11:14.960
<v Speaker 2>Than me.

1:11:15.120 --> 1:11:17.920
<v Speaker 1>But people with kids, I'm always just like, that's a

1:11:18.000 --> 1:11:20.320
<v Speaker 1>real adult. I really don't feel I feel like if

1:11:20.400 --> 1:11:26.280
<v Speaker 1>I really do feel like the only way I see myself,

1:11:26.880 --> 1:11:29.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm like the only way I feel like like real

1:11:29.120 --> 1:11:33.719
<v Speaker 1>adults have, like you know, I guess answer to things

1:11:34.280 --> 1:11:39.400
<v Speaker 1>outside of themselves. So and I've I got to I

1:11:39.439 --> 1:11:41.040
<v Speaker 1>got a lot of respect and it doesn't always have

1:11:41.040 --> 1:11:41.960
<v Speaker 1>to be a kid. But I got a lot of

1:11:41.960 --> 1:11:47.720
<v Speaker 1>respect for folks like Jude, you know, doing their thing.

1:11:50.960 --> 1:11:52.400
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for thank you for sharing with us.

1:11:52.479 --> 1:11:55.560
<v Speaker 2>Jude. Hello, are you the get go?

1:11:56.400 --> 1:11:58.760
<v Speaker 1>I am the gecko? I am the gecko? Who are you?

1:11:59.040 --> 1:11:59.760
<v Speaker 1>What's going on?

1:12:01.400 --> 1:12:04.200
<v Speaker 3>I'm Maggie and I'm crashing out?

1:12:04.840 --> 1:12:08.360
<v Speaker 1>Well you're crashing out? Okay, Well, first of all, nice

1:12:08.360 --> 1:12:13.599
<v Speaker 1>to meet you digitally, Maggie. Why are you crashing out?

1:12:14.280 --> 1:12:15.520
<v Speaker 3>My cat has asthma?

1:12:16.640 --> 1:12:17.839
<v Speaker 1>Your cat has asma.

1:12:19.160 --> 1:12:21.439
<v Speaker 3>She has asthma, and I just s meant five hundred

1:12:21.479 --> 1:12:23.599
<v Speaker 3>dollars to get her drugs to fix her asthma.

1:12:24.360 --> 1:12:26.600
<v Speaker 1>That's really nice of you. Did you get her like

1:12:26.640 --> 1:12:28.840
<v Speaker 1>a cute like cat Inhaler?

1:12:30.520 --> 1:12:30.720
<v Speaker 4>Oh?

1:12:30.800 --> 1:12:33.679
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, she's been on me inhaler. But that does not work.

1:12:36.439 --> 1:12:37.360
<v Speaker 1>You know what's crazy?

1:12:37.439 --> 1:12:37.559
<v Speaker 2>Is.

1:12:37.600 --> 1:12:40.160
<v Speaker 1>I would think cats don't even need that much air.

1:12:40.200 --> 1:12:42.960
<v Speaker 1>They're pretty tiny people, so they don't even need that

1:12:43.040 --> 1:12:44.639
<v Speaker 1>much air. It's crazy they can get asthma.

1:12:46.200 --> 1:12:50.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think she just has like a will to

1:12:50.960 --> 1:12:53.479
<v Speaker 3>die and for me to spend money on keeping her

1:12:53.479 --> 1:12:55.880
<v Speaker 3>from dying. It's like a fun game we play.

1:12:56.400 --> 1:13:02.920
<v Speaker 1>Interesting. Why do you think your cat wants to die?

1:13:03.120 --> 1:13:03.599
<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

1:13:03.680 --> 1:13:06.320
<v Speaker 3>I think when she was like burst into the world,

1:13:06.439 --> 1:13:12.519
<v Speaker 3>she got my genetic anxiety. So maybe it's like that.

1:13:14.960 --> 1:13:17.840
<v Speaker 1>Do you want to die? That's a load of questions.

1:13:18.000 --> 1:13:24.880
<v Speaker 3>No, I just have genetic anxiety, you.

1:13:24.840 --> 1:13:28.200
<v Speaker 1>Know, and you believe that your anxiety is so bad

1:13:28.240 --> 1:13:30.360
<v Speaker 1>you can pass it on to your animals.

1:13:32.080 --> 1:13:36.040
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, when she was burst into this.

1:13:36.000 --> 1:13:42.439
<v Speaker 1>World, that sucks, like being a therapy animal, but like

1:13:42.880 --> 1:13:47.240
<v Speaker 1>the person's mental illness rubs off on you, you know what

1:13:47.240 --> 1:13:50.599
<v Speaker 1>I mean. Like if you're like a golden retriever, you're

1:13:50.640 --> 1:13:54.280
<v Speaker 1>like a golden retriever and you're assigned to make this

1:13:54.400 --> 1:13:57.960
<v Speaker 1>kid feel less anxious, but instead the dog is like,

1:13:58.000 --> 1:13:59.599
<v Speaker 1>do this kid's stressing me out?

1:14:00.600 --> 1:14:00.840
<v Speaker 2>You know?

1:14:01.560 --> 1:14:05.040
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Yeah, it kind of sucks, but like she she

1:14:05.080 --> 1:14:07.679
<v Speaker 3>does enjoy the saltiness of a tear so I think

1:14:07.680 --> 1:14:08.800
<v Speaker 3>it's like it's good for her.

1:14:09.240 --> 1:14:12.400
<v Speaker 1>Does she lick your tears when you get upset?

1:14:12.800 --> 1:14:14.320
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, she's like she's pretty baller.

1:14:15.040 --> 1:14:19.000
<v Speaker 1>Wow, you feed your dog, No, you're not your fucking dog.

1:14:19.280 --> 1:14:23.280
<v Speaker 1>You feed your cat your own sadness.

1:14:24.120 --> 1:14:26.120
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but it like makes her stronger.

1:14:27.360 --> 1:14:34.799
<v Speaker 1>That's fucking powerful. Ooh m, your cat is fucking asthma.

1:14:35.520 --> 1:14:38.000
<v Speaker 1>I think you're lying. Yeah, your cat has asthma. I

1:14:38.000 --> 1:14:38.519
<v Speaker 1>don't know why I.

1:14:38.520 --> 1:14:42.559
<v Speaker 3>Said that, dead ass, while dead ass, I.

1:14:42.479 --> 1:14:44.000
<v Speaker 1>Don't know why I said that. That would be a

1:14:44.040 --> 1:14:51.560
<v Speaker 1>lame thing for you to lie about. Well, Maggie, Uh,

1:14:52.080 --> 1:14:54.760
<v Speaker 1>you don't listen, Maggie. We can keep talking about other ship.

1:14:54.840 --> 1:14:57.000
<v Speaker 1>We could end it right here if you have something

1:14:57.000 --> 1:14:59.679
<v Speaker 1>else you want to talk about. I don't know if

1:14:59.720 --> 1:15:04.040
<v Speaker 1>we fully covered the topic of your cat have an asthma.

1:15:04.080 --> 1:15:07.840
<v Speaker 1>If we didn't, we can keep diving into that. I'm

1:15:07.840 --> 1:15:09.120
<v Speaker 1>gonna let you take the floor here.

1:15:11.920 --> 1:15:17.599
<v Speaker 3>Oh god, I mean I think the the cat asthma

1:15:17.640 --> 1:15:18.479
<v Speaker 3>has been covered.

1:15:19.640 --> 1:15:22.639
<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay, do you have Do you have asthma?

1:15:24.560 --> 1:15:25.680
<v Speaker 3>I don't think so.

1:15:29.400 --> 1:15:31.479
<v Speaker 1>You should? You should? That should be something that you

1:15:31.720 --> 1:15:36.360
<v Speaker 1>know or don't. No, no, no, I'm gonna go that's

1:15:36.479 --> 1:15:38.080
<v Speaker 1>not something that you know, or that should be something

1:15:38.080 --> 1:15:40.439
<v Speaker 1>that you know, whether or not. That's what I meant to.

1:15:40.400 --> 1:15:42.920
<v Speaker 3>Say, and I'm gonna say no for the for the

1:15:43.000 --> 1:15:43.639
<v Speaker 3>me asthma.

1:15:44.880 --> 1:15:47.599
<v Speaker 1>Beautiful Meg, is there anything else you want to say

1:15:47.600 --> 1:15:49.000
<v Speaker 1>to the people of the computer before we go?

1:15:51.960 --> 1:15:52.280
<v Speaker 3>Uh?

1:15:52.760 --> 1:15:53.120
<v Speaker 2>Fuck it?

1:15:53.160 --> 1:15:59.160
<v Speaker 3>We all get bitches, get money, don't have asthma. Thank you, Maggie,

1:16:00.439 --> 1:16:01.599
<v Speaker 3>of course, Thank you, Lyle.

1:16:02.200 --> 1:16:05.360
<v Speaker 2>Never be Ken goes on the line taking your phone

1:16:05.360 --> 1:16:06.320
<v Speaker 2>calls every night.

1:16:06.680 --> 1:16:08.559
<v Speaker 1>Never Pinken goes through his eye.

1:16:08.680 --> 1:16:09.360
<v Speaker 2>He's teaching you

1:16:09.360 --> 1:16:12.439
<v Speaker 3>A cloud to live your life, but he's not really

1:16:12.600 --> 1:16:14.080
<v Speaker 3>an expert.