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Speaker 1: Radio Radio Radio Commies, a myth and bullshit radio phonic

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Speaker 1: novella Local Radio hosted by Malamo. Hello, Hello, Hello, welcome

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Speaker 1: back to local Radio. Welcome back, Welcome back. This is

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Speaker 1: Mala and this is diosa were Radio coming to you

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Speaker 1: once again from Radio Espasio, based out of EsPAS and

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Speaker 1: boil His. Thank you for joining us, Thank you for

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Speaker 1: tuning in once again. Local Radio is a radiophonic novella,

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Speaker 1: a podcast archiving the brilliance and legacies of women and

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Speaker 1: fans of color. Thank you, thank you, thank you for

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Speaker 1: tuning into forty two. And we're back after a hiatus. Yes,

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Speaker 1: we took a unexpected break for the month of June

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Speaker 1: our last copy where we interviewed Julio Um. After that,

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Speaker 1: we realized that June was so packed and we actually

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Speaker 1: didn't have any saturdays available to record, so we took

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Speaker 1: a break. But we were still hustling. We were still working,

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Speaker 1: so we did take a break from recording, but we

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Speaker 1: were still doing lots of ship. So we want to

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Speaker 1: recap somehow we were podcasting without podcasting. Yeah, it was

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Speaker 1: really interesting. Yeah, we like just we could not record,

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Speaker 1: We couldn't didn't have any saturdays. Available and so to

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Speaker 1: start UM. We actually the first weekend, the first Saturday

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Speaker 1: of June, we actually gave a workshop for the at

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Speaker 1: the third Annual Latino Conference organized by Council member Current Price,

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Speaker 1: he represents District nine, and that was l T Tech

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Speaker 1: and we did our intro to Latin x Tech intro

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Speaker 1: to podcasting for youth and it was so amazing to

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Speaker 1: work with these youth and teach them about our origin

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Speaker 1: story and where we how we started and basically our

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Speaker 1: podcast is completely d I Y do it yourself, so

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Speaker 1: sharing that with them and basically that they have all

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Speaker 1: the tools that they need within themselves UM to start

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Speaker 1: a podcast or to start any type of platform that

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Speaker 1: they want UM. And it was so good because our

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Speaker 1: activity we do like an interactive activity with our youth

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Speaker 1: or with any time we do this is UM. We

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Speaker 1: have them break up into groups and we have them

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Speaker 1: create their own podcast. So they have to create their

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Speaker 1: podcast title, UM, decide if they want personalities like the

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Speaker 1: way we do UM, if they have a jingle, what

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Speaker 1: would it sound like and what would their first episode

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Speaker 1: be like? And would they have any taglines like les

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Speaker 1: Mammies a myth and bullshit Radio. Yeah, um, what's ideas

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Speaker 1: for the names of like a first episode, and they

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Speaker 1: came up with some cute ones. There was there was

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Speaker 1: one my favorite one last I was going to say

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Speaker 1: that one. So they wanted to do a foodie podcast. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and the catch was that you would they would make

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Speaker 1: whatever they had in their fridge and they called it.

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Speaker 1: They said, like it's fridge and delicious. That was their catch.

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Speaker 1: It was so cute, fridge and delicious. Yeah, and these

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Speaker 1: were these were you know, for the most part, it

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Speaker 1: was a mixed gender group, but it was a Latina conference,

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Speaker 1: so the focus was for you know girls, UM, so

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Speaker 1: for Latinas who are in high school or elementary schools

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Speaker 1: in the local area in South l A. So a

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Speaker 1: lot of fun. Thank you to council member Current Price

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Speaker 1: for having yes, and to our localmotor listener Genevieve. She's

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Speaker 1: the one that approached us UM with this opportunity, So

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Speaker 1: thank you so much, We appreciate you, We love you

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Speaker 1: so much. UM. And also we got like certificates of

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Speaker 1: recognition from the City of l a and with our

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Speaker 1: podcast names. So I thought that that was like, yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: it was cool. It was cute, It was cool. It

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Speaker 1: was cool to see City of l a like official

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Speaker 1: official loved love that so that, but that's not all

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Speaker 1: that we did. That's not all that we did. More

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Speaker 1: real quick, because I'm thinking about the month of June,

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Speaker 1: I want to shout out Sebastian Ka of Gothic on Cheeseman.

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Speaker 1: He just um, he walked this past June and he

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Speaker 1: received his doctor in Chicana Chican Chicana studies. So so

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Speaker 1: proud of him for y'all that don't know, like we're

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Speaker 1: podcast friends, but he's also my best friend. We've known

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Speaker 1: each other for years now, so I just want to

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Speaker 1: congratulate him on the air. Um, you gotta fit you know,

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Speaker 1: finish that dissertation boo, Like we love you and yeah,

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Speaker 1: keep doing what you're doing. Dr Yes, it's very exciting.

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Speaker 1: Dr Puppy, very Dr Puppy. Congrats to all of the

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Speaker 1: grab yes, all of our listeners who graduated. You know

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Speaker 1: you got through it, you finished, you got your degree,

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Speaker 1: you've got your certification, whatever it is that you accomplished

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Speaker 1: this year. Congratulations. Yes, I'm sure it was hard. We

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Speaker 1: know it's hard. We see you. Good job enshoy your summer. Um.

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Speaker 1: So then another really really really really exciting event that

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Speaker 1: we were a part of. So for the past five years, UM,

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Speaker 1: the Los Angeles Latino International Film Festival was on a

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Speaker 1: hiatus and it came back this year. There were other

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Speaker 1: Latino film festivals taking place. There was a Central American

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Speaker 1: Film Festival that's been going on the past four years,

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Speaker 1: and there was also like a Queer Latin X film

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Speaker 1: Festival Yeah yeah, taking place, and I think the City

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Speaker 1: of Long Beach their LGBT Center, they also do a

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Speaker 1: film festival yearly. So there have been some you know,

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Speaker 1: throughout this hiatus, but this particular one hadn't been producing

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Speaker 1: the festival because I have been working on their youth

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Speaker 1: cinema projects UM in the past five years, so that

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Speaker 1: there was their focus, and then they brought it back

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Speaker 1: this year. But with the twist, they added all this

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Speaker 1: all these different components to the to the film festival.

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Speaker 1: They had La Leaf Art which is what was a

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Speaker 1: part of. They had a digital which is what we

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Speaker 1: were a part of, and music and all these different

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Speaker 1: things Legacy which is the youth component, the youth filmmaker

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Speaker 1: La Leaf Music. So we were really really really like

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Speaker 1: fortunate and honored to be included in the programming. So

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Speaker 1: rafaelin we want to shout out Rafael, who's a writer

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Speaker 1: on Jane the Verse gin and it's like one of

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Speaker 1: the Latin X like TV writers who's really out there

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Speaker 1: and like really doing it and creating and getting projects

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Speaker 1: off the ground. Um. And so Raphael had reached out

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Speaker 1: to us and asked us if we would be interested

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Speaker 1: in helping to co moderate podcast panel along with one

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Speaker 1: of our favorite podcasts, Latinos to Lunch. And so the

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Speaker 1: idea was that, you know, look Latino to Lunch. We

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Speaker 1: were going to go as a part of the film

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Speaker 1: festival and interview and a few of the cast members

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Speaker 1: of Tanya's new show Vita, which is on the Stars Network. Yes,

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Speaker 1: if you have not checked that out, um, it's so good.

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Speaker 1: They so the first season has six episodes and it

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Speaker 1: was picked up for a second season. So congrats to

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Speaker 1: Dania and all the creators and everyone working on that team.

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Speaker 1: The writers are actually all latin X, so the writing

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Speaker 1: room is all Latino X writers and I think that

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Speaker 1: that really um shows in the authenticity of what they're doing.

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Speaker 1: And you y'all will be able to hear that conversation

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Speaker 1: because we actually have the audio for you, so we

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Speaker 1: were going to be distributing that within the next week,

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Speaker 1: so keep your eye out if you couldn't make it,

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Speaker 1: and thank you to our localot is. It did make it.

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Speaker 1: So we saw y'all in the in the audience, so

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Speaker 1: thank you so much to everyone that was there. Also

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Speaker 1: to thank you to PoCA Stio Network and to Lose

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Speaker 1: Um Linda Garcia Lose Warrior for coordinate, coordinating and you know,

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Speaker 1: helping us with this opportunity. So it was a lot

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Speaker 1: of fun. We met, We met Edward James on Us

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Speaker 1: Malla chased him down. I chased him down rather unsuccessfully,

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Speaker 1: but I did. I chased him. I saw Jimmy Smith's

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Speaker 1: and I wanted to die and I told my mom.

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Speaker 1: I was like, mom, and I haven't stopped talking about

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Speaker 1: it because I love Jimmy Smith. He's so fine. Also, um,

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Speaker 1: I'm like horrified. I don't remember his name right now,

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Speaker 1: But okay, did y'all watch the very gramaticized version of

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Speaker 1: Selea Cruz's Life and Telemundo it's also on Netflix. Well.

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Speaker 1: The actor that plays Bero, which is Celea Cruz's husband,

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Speaker 1: and they like work together in Last Uma and he

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Speaker 1: was there the after Pedro. He was there like he was.

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Speaker 1: We saw him multiple times like in the past two

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Speaker 1: weeks and it was like, I'm like that, you cannot

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Speaker 1: fandgirl right over him. I just don't do it. I

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Speaker 1: didn't do it to his face. I did do it. Tomala.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, easier and he's so

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Speaker 1: cute and like this is dead. Role was dying. We

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Speaker 1: also after lalif at the after the opening, Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: it's so much, so much to share, Okay, cal Lazo

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Speaker 1: Calazo of the cat call our friend Cat she was here. Um,

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Speaker 1: she came for vidcomn and she was also came to

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Speaker 1: the laalaf opening and the film. The opening, the film

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Speaker 1: that they opened with what's incredible called the Sentence. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I'm realizing we have so much to say,

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Speaker 1: we have so much to say. Let's let's just keep going, Okay,

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Speaker 1: the sentil This was on opening night of the Latino

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Speaker 1: International Film Festival. Yes, so the Sentence of the film.

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Speaker 1: They're actually going to be debuting it on HBO in October.

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Speaker 1: To keep your eye out. And it's an incredible documentary

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Speaker 1: about the story of a woman that's incarcerated and She's

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Speaker 1: given a minimum sentence of fifteen years for um basically

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Speaker 1: being an inconspiracy and being an accessory in a crime.

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Speaker 1: Because her partner at the time, her boyfriend, was a

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Speaker 1: drug dealer, and because she lived in the home where

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Speaker 1: he was doing the drugs and keeping these weapons, she

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Speaker 1: was now a conspirator. She was charged. She was charged

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Speaker 1: with the exact same crimes that he was exactly and

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Speaker 1: the catch. The catch is that the boyfriend had actually

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Speaker 1: been murdered, so he you know, he died right, and

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Speaker 1: she served the time for his crimes. So it was

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Speaker 1: this horrible, horrible, horrible thing that happened to her. And

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Speaker 1: she had three daughters. When she was she was completely

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Speaker 1: separated from her family, which we know is like, you know,

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Speaker 1: we're talking like, not only are our folks at the

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Speaker 1: border being you know, wrongfully detained and kept in these cages,

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Speaker 1: but we also see that families are being separated when

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Speaker 1: the majority of black and brown men and women are

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Speaker 1: in serrated So families are being separated. You're not not

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Speaker 1: only at the border, but also in the prison industrial

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Speaker 1: complex in both contexts, both contexts. Yeah, and the story unfold.

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Speaker 1: Her brother, who was the filmmaker He also was the

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Speaker 1: one who filmed like nine years of her three daughters

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Speaker 1: growing up without her, their attempts to um file for

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Speaker 1: appeals and being denied and then filing for Obama's clemency program.

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Speaker 1: And we're not going to give away the end because

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Speaker 1: it's incredible, but all of us were puddles. We were

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Speaker 1: in tears, like, oh my god, like it was super emotional,

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Speaker 1: like there was a happy ending, but oh my god,

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Speaker 1: just the whole story, the journey, and she was there

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Speaker 1: and then she was there at the film. That was

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Speaker 1: so emotional. Yeah, so really good. So look out for

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Speaker 1: that the sentence. So then we went to and after

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Speaker 1: the after the screening, we went to an after party

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Speaker 1: at the Roosevelt, Right, So we go and Cats with

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Speaker 1: us and we're just like working the room. We're working

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Speaker 1: the room her pictures, seeing like you know, just being

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Speaker 1: seen being seen, seeing who we can see. As Cat

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Speaker 1: called it, peacocking, we were pea cocking. We saw the

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Speaker 1: actor who plays Pedro in Napoleon's Dynamite. I flipped out.

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Speaker 1: I flipped out. And then there were two other kind

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Speaker 1: of prominent like latin X like ch kind of actor show.

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Speaker 1: The show remained unnamed and unidentifiable. There are two of them, right, well, yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: so one of them, right, he ends up, but we

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Speaker 1: can see him kind of like looking over at our table.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, hardcore like the whole night, and he

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Speaker 1: instantly right, So he comes over and he talks to us,

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Speaker 1: and he mainly like talks to Kat, and Kat reveals

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Speaker 1: that she actually has seen him at the meet Do office.

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Speaker 1: So she says like, oh, I think you were at

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Speaker 1: the meet Do office. I think I've seen you, and

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Speaker 1: he goes oh, and he goes, are you the receptionist? Yep,

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Speaker 1: he said that. He said that. He said that, which

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Speaker 1: is fine if she were the receptionists. That the media

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Speaker 1: assumption that she can't be a video producer, she can't

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Speaker 1: be a on screen talent, she can't be a creator. Right.

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Speaker 1: We know we know that this is that women are

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Speaker 1: always given that that role of the secretary of the receptionists. Right,

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Speaker 1: We're at a Latino International Film festival, and his immediate

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Speaker 1: assumption is that she is the receptionist, right, So it

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Speaker 1: was just very misogynistic and codit coded sexism, right, and

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Speaker 1: Cad just goes, yeah, I am I am the receptionist.

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Speaker 1: She kind of just played it off, right, hold on,

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Speaker 1: plotius plot tois because my life, your phone isn't working,

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Speaker 1: so you didn't see this text. He actually damned her

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Speaker 1: a few days ago. I don't know if I'm allowed

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Speaker 1: to read that. Let's say this, actually you already fuck Okay, sorry, sorry,

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Speaker 1: it's okay, okay, I'm gonna text her tell her. We

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Speaker 1: still don't know who this person is, right, But anyway,

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Speaker 1: So then back to that night. Wait, wait, hold on,

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Speaker 1: he danced her and he says, Cad, you're famous, and

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Speaker 1: she replied, no, I'm just the receptionist. This yeah, this,

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Speaker 1: I love cats. I like you love cat Queen of

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Speaker 1: the clap Backs TV. These fools need to learn. They

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Speaker 1: need to learn to think before they speak. What it

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Speaker 1: could have all all you have to say. It was

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Speaker 1: like what do you do exactly? That's all you have

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Speaker 1: to say. It's like, oh, I don't remember seeing you, like,

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Speaker 1: remind me, remind me what you do? There? Him and

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Speaker 1: one other guy that like, if you saw their faces,

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Speaker 1: you know that you've seen them in movies. They've been

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Speaker 1: in a bunch of movies. I'm not gonna lie. They

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Speaker 1: usually play secondary roles. They usually play supporting roles, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, which is fine, it's cool, but

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Speaker 1: they're recognizable. So they're sitting there there talking to us,

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Speaker 1: and then they're asking us like, oh, do you guys

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Speaker 1: want drinks? Right? So, and they asked us. We didn't

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Speaker 1: even bring up drinks. Who didn't mention drinks, We didn't

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Speaker 1: say anything about drinks. These two guys asked us, if

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Speaker 1: you want drinks? There was an open bar, but it

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Speaker 1: was only open up until a certain time that it

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Speaker 1: was a cash bar. And then the drinks were like

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Speaker 1: eighteen dollars a drink, right, So they offer and then

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Speaker 1: they go over to get his drinks and then they

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Speaker 1: all says like, oh my god, Molla, you should go

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Speaker 1: with them to like watch the drinks to make sure

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Speaker 1: that it's right. We're like, one of us needs to go,

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Speaker 1: my legoes, I'll go. So I'm like, true, good idea.

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Speaker 1: So I go, and I'm up there with them and

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Speaker 1: they and the bartender tells them like, it's not open anymore.

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Speaker 1: It's a cash bar. It's eighteen bucks to drink. And

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Speaker 1: then and then the rude guy, the guy that was

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Speaker 1: rude to cat the actor, he turns to me and

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Speaker 1: he looks at me and he goes, you guys want

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Speaker 1: to drink that bad? I'm like you God. So then

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Speaker 1: they ran to the other bar and brought us waters.

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Speaker 1: They brought us waters Latino Hollywood first l negative point.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry so far. But the women that we were amazing.

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Speaker 1: The women that we met were American. The Latinos in

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Speaker 1: Hollywood were amazing. The men need to help, need some guidance.

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Speaker 1: So that was funny. So hopefully as we do more

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Speaker 1: stuff in Hollywood will have more of these stories, and

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Speaker 1: we'll have we'll have celebrity tea, celebrity cheese man to

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Speaker 1: share with you. All that will remain anonymous, unnamed. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you about the events, not the people,

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Speaker 1: right anyway, Okay, So then to wrap up the month,

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Speaker 1: um were just the other day we had a film.

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Speaker 1: We were a part of a panel in film screening

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Speaker 1: at the Lost Fields Vintage Theater. So American Entertainment Media

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Speaker 1: reached out to us because they were filming. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: they were screening the film. Sorry to bother you. Um.

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Speaker 1: This is a new film by Boots Riley, who is

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Speaker 1: a movie maker out of the Bay Area, starring Lakeith Stanfield,

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Speaker 1: an Tessa Thompson, UM, the movie is incredible. It's incredible,

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Speaker 1: it's funny, it's bizarre, it's surreal, it's political, it's it's gory.

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Speaker 1: Like it was, we were looking away like constantly throughout

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Speaker 1: the movie because it was kind of aggressive, um, but

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Speaker 1: it was really really good. Now, this panel that was

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Speaker 1: put together was very interesting for us because a, the

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Speaker 1: film is a predominantly black film, UM from the creators,

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Speaker 1: the directors, the stars of the film. UM, Tessa Thompson

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Speaker 1: is a Latina. And so the idea behind the panel,

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Speaker 1: like when we first they reached out to us, was

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Speaker 1: that what we would be moderating the panel with the

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Speaker 1: talent with Tessa and Lakeith. Yes, that was the original

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Speaker 1: um intention of the organizers that so we got there

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Speaker 1: and that's not what ended up happening, and it ended

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Speaker 1: up being a panel with like latin X. They called

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Speaker 1: us like thought leaders UM, so it was us look

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Speaker 1: and then there were some folks who like have backgrounds

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Speaker 1: with u c L A labor center and like community

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Speaker 1: organizing work. And it turned out that none of the

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Speaker 1: panelists were after latinos or black or black at all,

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Speaker 1: which was not the original plan. And so we were

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Speaker 1: not sure what our role was in the context of

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Speaker 1: the film because it really didn't have anything to do

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Speaker 1: with us. But I guess what this particular, this series

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Speaker 1: of movie panels that this group has been doing is

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Speaker 1: they want to bring in black and brown film and

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Speaker 1: speakers and like panelists and creators and do like combined

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Speaker 1: events to bring the two communities together. So that was

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Speaker 1: sort of the idea behind it. So we were talking

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Speaker 1: about labor in the movie and connecting it to all

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Speaker 1: of our different experiences, violence against women, violence from labor, exploitation,

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Speaker 1: all that stuff. So that was that. And then DJ Sooty,

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Speaker 1: who played our life party who we love. She DJ

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Speaker 1: the after party, the reception, so that was always cool

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Speaker 1: to see her so good. She's amazing and she's beautiful.

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Speaker 1: She's so beautiful. She wore like this really beautiful mustard

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Speaker 1: yellow coat like a trench coat but like as a dress,

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Speaker 1: and she looked fun. She gives me very much like

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Speaker 1: cross between Rihanna and Selena vibes in her. She had

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Speaker 1: a high pony and a dark lip. Yes, she she

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Speaker 1: gives me that energy like with with what she wears.

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Speaker 1: Love it. So I love dj um So. Then yesterday.

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Speaker 1: Yesterday we were on Dash radio. Yesterday, we were on

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Speaker 1: Dash Radio and we were invited from the show umunrimo

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Speaker 1: and um it is a show that is co hosted

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Speaker 1: or yeah, I mean because there's three of them, DJ

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Speaker 1: did By, DJ Sasha Be, DJ My Goodness and hay

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Speaker 1: L DJ UM and so this is like the number

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Speaker 1: one show on like Dash Latin x UM. So. I

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Speaker 1: was actually at Gania Rumbar one day with Franny and

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Speaker 1: Monica and I was gone off the branch Mimosas and

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Speaker 1: Harvey had spoken to me at Gania all about his

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Speaker 1: show and I forgot about it, and the next day

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Speaker 1: he dammed me and like invited us to go on.

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Speaker 1: So we were like yes, sure, so we went and

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Speaker 1: we were there for like three hours talking UM DJ

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Speaker 1: I should be love you girl. Yeah, nice to meet you.

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Speaker 1: But you know, it was kind of interesting because like

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Speaker 1: we go on there to talk about the podcast and

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Speaker 1: talk about like what we do about yeah, and we

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Speaker 1: just you know, we forget what it's like to talk

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Speaker 1: to straight men because we don't do it that off. No,

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Speaker 1: we don't. UM, and you know, we're thankful for the opportunity. Definitely. Um,

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Speaker 1: it was very much like Devil's Advocate kind of conversation. Um,

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Speaker 1: when we talked about violence against women, like one of

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Speaker 1: them brought up, um, well, what about the women that

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Speaker 1: falsely accused men of rape? Which Mala of course has

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Speaker 1: all the statistics, and she's like, actually that's only two percent,

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Speaker 1: and of even all of the allegations, the do process

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Speaker 1: is like non existent essentially, So Mama has all these

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Speaker 1: facts and all this experience obviously because of what she does,

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Speaker 1: and still being antagonized and still being questioned and this

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00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,880
Speaker 1: whole like, well, like what about you know, what about

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Speaker 1: what the women doing? These these men like, and not

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00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,440
Speaker 1: just these particular men, but in general, across the board,

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Speaker 1: we can see that men have issues with women in Instagram.

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Speaker 1: That has been a topic of conversation across the board.

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Speaker 1: When it's so interesting when straight men want to like

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Speaker 1: derail a conversation and show us an example of like

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Speaker 1: women behaving badly or like women needing to be held

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Speaker 1: accountable or women doing something wrong, they always start with like, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: like let's say, you know these girls that post bikini

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Speaker 1: picks on Instagram. These two separate guys yesterday like brought

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Speaker 1: that up in different scenarios as like an entry point

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Speaker 1: into talking about women misbehaving all they like have an

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Speaker 1: issue with women in bikinis on Instagram for some reason,

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Speaker 1: for some reason, a woman in a bikini is having

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Speaker 1: a low standard for herself, right, And that's That's not

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Speaker 1: exactly what they said, but that was my takeaway that

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Speaker 1: I'm paraphrasing. I'm like, oh, so, what you mean is

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Speaker 1: everyone has low standards these days, quote and like an

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Speaker 1: anger at the fact that they're They were also very

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Speaker 1: salty and these guys are DJs, right, they were very

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Speaker 1: salty that there are women DJs who post lots of

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Speaker 1: as they would refer to it, there's traps or bikini picks,

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Speaker 1: and not that many DJ picks, so they must be

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Speaker 1: frauds and ruined. They ruined dejaying for all other women

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Speaker 1: DJs that don't post those kinds of photos. And then

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Speaker 1: we look at their instagrams and it's like, like you

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00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:26,359
Speaker 1: were pointing out, these are paid at these are sponsored photos.

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00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 1: It's obvious, like the tags, the tags that they use,

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Speaker 1: all everyone that's tag in the actual photo, like all

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00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 1: like the closing layer and the photographers and stuff. This

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00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,480
Speaker 1: is obviously a sponsored photo. So what I'm hearing is

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Speaker 1: that you don't want women to make money off of

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00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,360
Speaker 1: maybe their looks or whatever it is that they're making

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00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,680
Speaker 1: their money off of. I'm like, if I'm if someone

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00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,600
Speaker 1: were to reach out to MoMA and I, um, this

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00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,040
Speaker 1: is also a hint if you were to reach out

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00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,520
Speaker 1: to us and be like, hey, um, can we're gonna

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00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 1: send you this, um these bikinis for the summer, and

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Speaker 1: um can you post them and tag us and we're

399
00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,680
Speaker 1: gonna pay you five Do you think we're gonna say no? Realistically,

400
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:02,720
Speaker 1: we're going to say yes, I love bikini picks. Yes,

401
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 1: we have a bunch from last summer. We need to

402
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 1: retake some new. It was because it was so funny

403
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,879
Speaker 1: because here these guys are talking about like, yeah, like

404
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,359
Speaker 1: when girls post all these bikini picks and we're like, yeah,

405
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,959
Speaker 1: like me, like my Instagram right now and pictures of

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00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 1: me in my bikini on my Instagram right now? Are

407
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:19,680
Speaker 1: you talking about me? Right? And they it's always done.

408
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:22,080
Speaker 1: Is like we're talking about literal sexual assault, we're talking

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00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:25,960
Speaker 1: about misogyny and rape culture, and they're one example that

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00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 1: they always lead with is the bikini picks. It's always

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Speaker 1: I don't get it's always these like also like out

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00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 1: of sight examples, and I'm like, okay, can we stop

413
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 1: derailing the conversation. Can we bring it back to what

414
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 1: we were talking about? You? And you know, I'm assuming

415
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 1: at the very least you know that Logal thought our

416
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,919
Speaker 1: radio was about feminism. At the very least, you may

417
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,439
Speaker 1: not know like exactly what topics we talk about, but

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Speaker 1: you can probably assume that we're going to have some

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00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 1: pretty feminist ship to say, so completely feminist. Yeah, I

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00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 1: was kind of taken aback. Also, like hiring, it was time.

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00:22:56,119 --> 00:22:58,120
Speaker 1: It was tiring because I thought that we were there

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00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 1: to talk about our podcast, and it ends it being

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00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:04,880
Speaker 1: that same old like we get trapped into arguing with them.

424
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 1: It's goes into circles and then and now I'm upset

425
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 1: and now I'm yelling, and now I'm like destabilized and

426
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,439
Speaker 1: like I'm now I'm having a bad day when that

427
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 1: didn't need to be the case. So I don't know,

428
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:19,479
Speaker 1: we just like have to I think it's just like

429
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 1: we have to like remember that if we're going into

430
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 1: a space with an interview with straight man, we can

431
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,920
Speaker 1: expect that this will be the dynamic. So we either

432
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,159
Speaker 1: decide not to do it at all, or that we

433
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 1: go in with a specific sort of plan that like,

434
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,680
Speaker 1: we do engage these comments or we don't engage these comments.

435
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 1: I didn't expect the conversation to get there at all

436
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:43,239
Speaker 1: at all. Neither neither. Yeah. I also thought like we

437
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 1: were there for the three hours, so um, and we

438
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:47,199
Speaker 1: didn't talk the entire time because it is a it

439
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 1: is a amused music um station, so UM. We didn't

440
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,480
Speaker 1: expect to necessarily be there the full three hours. So

441
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,119
Speaker 1: it was it was a lot. It was a lot. Um.

442
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 1: The episode is up on their channel. I mean, if

443
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,399
Speaker 1: anyone wants to, if you want a tune in, it

444
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:05,960
Speaker 1: will make you mad. If your local mood, you're not

445
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 1: going to be happy, you're not gonna like it. But

446
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,199
Speaker 1: we we tried to hold our own and we represented

447
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,439
Speaker 1: ourselves and you know, we talked our ship and we

448
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,200
Speaker 1: talked about what we believe in because you know, we

449
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 1: don't care about those fuckers and how they feel are

450
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,360
Speaker 1: their opinions. But yeah, be angry with us. You could

451
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:21,439
Speaker 1: comment on their ship if you want. If you can

452
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:25,720
Speaker 1: comment on the Instagram if you feel like it. Anyways,

453
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:33,120
Speaker 1: onto another segment. Of oh yea look us all right, right, okay,

454
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 1: so this question. So we are at the end of June,

455
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 1: so happy Pride Month, Happy Pride month. Pride is all

456
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,480
Speaker 1: year round. We know it's not just the month of June,

457
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,919
Speaker 1: but also we want to like always remember and celebrate

458
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 1: the trans women of color, the queer women that lead

459
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,280
Speaker 1: um the stonewall riots. Right, so Pride it is definitely

460
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 1: has developed into this very like corporate um like party,

461
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 1: which is fine because the party is political. But we

462
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 1: also have to remember that it started because of the

463
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,720
Speaker 1: trans women. We're tired of being brutalized by the police,

464
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 1: so we have to remember that it started as a riot.

465
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 1: So I just want to hold space and give honor

466
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:14,479
Speaker 1: to our our queer ancestors, our fem ancestors, UM. And

467
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:18,880
Speaker 1: now let's get into this question. Yes go friend months Okay, So,

468
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,120
Speaker 1: in honor of Pride Month twenty gayteen, what are your

469
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:25,199
Speaker 1: favorite queer memories moments that make you smile and be

470
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:28,159
Speaker 1: happy even though our identities are really rough sometimes to

471
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:33,440
Speaker 1: imagine good moments. I okay, So my friend Alyssa recently

472
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 1: sent me this picture that I posted to my Instagram,

473
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 1: and it's like the four of us as little girls

474
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: in our Jane skirts. Okay, well tell me why now

475
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,720
Speaker 1: years later three out of the four of all those

476
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 1: little girls are like queer. But we never talked about

477
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:51,640
Speaker 1: it as kids. We were all hanging out so like me, Lilia, um, Alyssa,

478
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,880
Speaker 1: Kathy not so much, but her sister Caroline, yes, and

479
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:56,239
Speaker 1: so you know what I mean. But like we all

480
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 1: grew up together, but we never had those conversations about

481
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: our sexuality and we kind of just grew into adult

482
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 1: women who just like see each other and understand each

483
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 1: other and like talking about you know, like who we're

484
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 1: dating or who we're hooking up with. Um, and just

485
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,959
Speaker 1: kind of like looking back and seeing like, well, we

486
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,400
Speaker 1: were always here with each other, you know what I mean,

487
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 1: just sort of being ourselves and just never pushing each

488
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,119
Speaker 1: other on it, and you know what I mean, Like

489
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:23,479
Speaker 1: it was just interesting to me, like to see it

490
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,679
Speaker 1: and it made me smile. Oh, I love that, And

491
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 1: it's such a cute picture. It's a very cute picture.

492
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,399
Speaker 1: And that was, like Vann said my sister that that

493
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,639
Speaker 1: was the first that picture is the first day that

494
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 1: Alyssa ever wear a skirt. Because Alyssa is very Alyssa's

495
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,639
Speaker 1: very mask. Like Alyssa's very mask, you know, but like

496
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 1: back then, like when you're little girls, the whole thing

497
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,480
Speaker 1: is like we all dress a lot, right, and usually

498
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,919
Speaker 1: your mom, your thea's they will put you in dresses

499
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 1: and skirts even if you don't like it, right, And

500
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,960
Speaker 1: I've like heard like queer women that are more math

501
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 1: centered say that, Like when I was little, they would

502
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,400
Speaker 1: always make me wear dresses and I hated it. Right.

503
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 1: So it was interesting because I remember, like Alyssa specifically,

504
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,639
Speaker 1: was always kind of like playing around with her style

505
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,679
Speaker 1: and with her clothes, and there were times where like

506
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:06,679
Speaker 1: as groups, it was really fun for all of us

507
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,159
Speaker 1: together and for her to like we're doing face masks,

508
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 1: were dressing up, we're doing the makeup right, and then

509
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,679
Speaker 1: seeing her come into her own now, you know, and

510
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 1: like really owning her style and just being herself and

511
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,919
Speaker 1: it's cute. I love that. I love that. Um. Okay,

512
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:24,640
Speaker 1: So I went to an all girls Catholic school, um,

513
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:28,639
Speaker 1: and it was yeah, it was very queer and um,

514
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,680
Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of the faculty was queer

515
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 1: as well, and so it was really it was really interesting.

516
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,400
Speaker 1: Even though I went to Graslic school. I feel like

517
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:39,360
Speaker 1: I had like a lot of people, and a lot

518
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 1: in like the relative sense that it was like a

519
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,639
Speaker 1: school of like four people, right, So not not a

520
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:45,200
Speaker 1: lot of us were queer, but a lot of girls

521
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 1: were like kind of like experimenting with their sexuality. Anyway,

522
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:50,520
Speaker 1: the point is my father sent me to a all

523
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 1: girls Catholic school because he did not want me to

524
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:57,919
Speaker 1: be distracted by boys. It was like, Bobby, I'm actually

525
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:01,679
Speaker 1: queer as buck. So for a good part of like

526
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,439
Speaker 1: my teenage years and even early twenties identified as a lesbian.

527
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:09,640
Speaker 1: So now identify as queer. But anyway, UM to continue

528
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:12,159
Speaker 1: on to like the Catholic the Catholicism, right, and like

529
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 1: the queerness. So I um was supposed to be UM confirmed.

530
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 1: I was supposed to be confirmed, but I knew I

531
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 1: was queer, and I was like, Mom, I don't want

532
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: to be confirmed, and she like made me. And my

533
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:26,119
Speaker 1: mom wasn't even like a practicing Catholic, but she made me.

534
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 1: Maybe she like was trying to save my soul at

535
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,720
Speaker 1: the time. Who freaking notes, right, But anyway, the point

536
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 1: is I was confirmed, but I technically like have never

537
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 1: been confirmed because I didn't go to a retreat that

538
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:39,200
Speaker 1: I was supposed to go to. So the retreat that

539
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 1: I was supposed to go to actually landed on um

540
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 1: l A we Hope Pride. So I didn't tell my

541
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 1: mom that I didn't go to the retreat. Instead, I

542
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 1: went to Pride, and I was fifteen, and I went

543
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 1: with my first girlfriend and are my friend at the time,

544
00:28:57,840 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 1: and like we went and we were like little just

545
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 1: like little queer kids, you know, like Pride. We were

546
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 1: too young to even do anything. We were fifteen. We

547
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 1: were there, yeah, we were there, were there. I think

548
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 1: the first time I went to Pride was actually with

549
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 1: Lilia and Alissa, who interesting it was with Leah and Alissa,

550
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 1: and we took the bus and we like walked for

551
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 1: miles and miles because you know, it's so hard to

552
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 1: get there. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. That's like

553
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 1: when it like baby queer memory for me. Cute. That's

554
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:27,479
Speaker 1: a good question, good question, Thank you, thank you for

555
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 1: that question. Um well, now we're coming towards like our break.

556
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 1: We have a special guest who's going to be joining

557
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 1: us the second half after our song break, Jay Dodd,

558
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 1: who is a poet who is a creative, a filmmaker,

559
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 1: one of my dear friends, um from college. So we're

560
00:29:45,560 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 1: gonna bring Jay on the second half and and and

561
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 1: and um m of it and little ship. Okay, look,

562
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 1: I'm what is We are back from our break and

563
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 1: now we're really really excited to introduce our special guest

564
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 1: for today. Everybody, please welcome Jay dot Y Say hi,

565
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 1: I'm Jay Jee. Thank you so much for being here today.

566
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. This is like I'm just going to

567
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,520
Speaker 1: be here. I've I've I've seen y'all just like blow

568
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,280
Speaker 1: up and blossom and also aesthetics are always on, which

569
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: I'm a big fan of. But also like what ill

570
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:03,800
Speaker 1: are doing is so important, so like best of both

571
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 1: of us, look good and doing good. You see you

572
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 1: see our vision. It's very California, which I'm happy that

573
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 1: you came back and live your truth from the East,

574
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:15,760
Speaker 1: like you came back grab all that knowledge. Cute because

575
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 1: it's not actually over there. I'm glad you mentioned the

576
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 1: East because that's where our origin story began, I mean

577
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 1: our individual stories. I think our California origin stories. But

578
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 1: the origin of this friendship, yeah, which is so funny.

579
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 1: That is that is that is that we were here

580
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 1: to like living parallel lives and then met on the

581
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 1: East yes, like also doving down to like Polytechnic. Like

582
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 1: in fact, we were like in the same geographic like

583
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: Land Pasadena. What high school did you go to? Jay?

584
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 1: So I'm going to boarding school in Connecticut, So I like,

585
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 1: I like spend my time between l A and Connecticut.

586
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:51,760
Speaker 1: So you were literally living parallel lines, like literally living parallelized.

587
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 1: And but we didn't even meet until college. And then

588
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 1: we're like, oh, where you're gonna go to l A.

589
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 1: And it to us like people said there from l A,

590
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 1: and like we're lying, and so would we like we

591
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,360
Speaker 1: like from last ange, we like figured out that we

592
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:05,880
Speaker 1: literally the same area and I've been like living in

593
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,360
Speaker 1: the same cities before, and like it was it was

594
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 1: it was special because like, yeah, people lie because people

595
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:14,480
Speaker 1: lied can like you know, l A culture and California

596
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 1: culture is so like particular, like we are who we

597
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 1: are and it's cool to like connect with other Californians

598
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 1: outside and I like, oh my god, Tough, there's so

599
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:26,040
Speaker 1: much to talk about. So we went to toughs We

600
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 1: went to Tough University. We graduated. It's been four years,

601
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 1: it's been four years, four long years, for interesting years, years,

602
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 1: for wild years. And we were talking about so like

603
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:39,720
Speaker 1: something that a lot of people don't know is like

604
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 1: there are a number of pretty like active like Twitter accounts,

605
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 1: Internet people, um so like myself malmuns u j and

606
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 1: can you tell people what your your handles are online?

607
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:53,479
Speaker 1: So on Twitter and Instagram on day Black d e

608
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 1: y b l x k um and then I also

609
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 1: make a video art under Jazzmine, Giselle, jay Z and

610
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,480
Speaker 1: my in j Z e l l e um so

611
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 1: you can just look up that one on Instagram. Yeah,

612
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 1: but on Twitter day Black d u I b l

613
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 1: X King talk a lot of ship. Yes, we both

614
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 1: talk a lot, and some of our other friends from

615
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 1: toughs that we were talking about like that maybe a

616
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:18,240
Speaker 1: lot of people might follow a bunch of these accounts

617
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 1: and not know that we all want to college together.

618
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 1: But like a hood queer jumping more frank is Amber

619
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 1: speak speaks. But then this whole like like like squad

620
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 1: like era of like like tell us people amstad slash

621
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:45,480
Speaker 1: sociology slash Latino Center slash Afrikana Center slash LGBT centers,

622
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 1: an amalgamation of like we all to study where we

623
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:51,840
Speaker 1: couldn't get out of there. So we all like we

624
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 1: called we had these professors that I think all of

625
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 1: us took classes with, and I feel like a lot

626
00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 1: of our becoming thought makers and like internet either yes,

627
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,680
Speaker 1: is we're thought makers in every like spelling that you

628
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:11,399
Speaker 1: can think of every in all the spelling. So Professor Sharp,

629
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 1: Christina Sharp, brilliant in the way to go buy it right,

630
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 1: the way go by it, monster's intimacy. Um was Christina

631
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: Sharp not the first tenured black woman professor in the

632
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:28,840
Speaker 1: English department. She was so like a giant giant in

633
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:32,880
Speaker 1: the field. And then Professor Wu, I never you never have,

634
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 1: professor because I was a saylogy not in that American

635
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 1: studies so raised in America. We didn't we're having we're

636
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:43,319
Speaker 1: having an installed right now. It was like like I'll

637
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 1: think about the classes I took myself. No, but Professor Pennington,

638
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: we took history of African American music or Professor Pennington,

639
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:57,919
Speaker 1: did you think queer pop? No? Oh ye, my ship?

640
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 1: I heard, my ship, I heard. But but but it's funny

641
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:03,640
Speaker 1: is that I feel like this sort of threat between

642
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 1: all of us is that like we all love culture

643
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 1: but are not like like the same kind of like

644
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 1: not not same kind of fans anything. And we are

645
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,920
Speaker 1: fans of things for sure, our fans and things, not

646
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 1: like we're about being fans, but everything we like we don't,

647
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,320
Speaker 1: we don't just like we can't just like it all.

648
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:24,360
Speaker 1: The pleasure of like liking things is like wild complicated.

649
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:27,880
Speaker 1: You know. We we like we were very well trained.

650
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 1: We were well trained. Honestly, we were well trained to

651
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 1: look at everything with a critical eye and do that

652
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 1: constant deconstructing and questioning like why do I like this?

653
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,800
Speaker 1: But also not in a way that makes ruins everything,

654
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:42,480
Speaker 1: because that's the thing that I feel like a lot

655
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: of like I think I think a lot of like

656
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 1: especially like young like like Peo people color Creepbouk who

657
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:49,399
Speaker 1: go to like college and like they learn all necessary things.

658
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:52,359
Speaker 1: They didn't like like let everything be bad and they

659
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 1: don't actually do any true work or like actually enjoy things,

660
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 1: and there's a lot of joy and happiness and everything

661
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:59,319
Speaker 1: everything feels like it's toxic and terrible and like, yeah,

662
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:03,440
Speaker 1: it is terrible, but why can't we enjoy things? You know?

663
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 1: And I think that like that Naza goat there like

664
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 1: really sort of pushed us to like navigate with what

665
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:09,840
Speaker 1: we got, but like a guilty pleasure and there's no

666
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 1: guilt on what I enjoyed, right exactly. I feel like

667
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,839
Speaker 1: that happens when you're coming into consciousness, right or you're

668
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 1: like on learning all this, all these systems, like everything

669
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:20,680
Speaker 1: is something like you realize, right, like there's there's so much,

670
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 1: like you said, to deconstruct behind like the music and

671
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,440
Speaker 1: the TV we watch and all like whatever is popular.

672
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 1: But then when you deconcerted so much, it's like then

673
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 1: you can't enjoy it either, and then you will let

674
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 1: other people enjoy it. So it's like I feel like

675
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 1: that's like baby activism type stuff, and then you move

676
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:39,719
Speaker 1: beyond it and you grow and you see the nuances.

677
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 1: At least that's how I feel about it. Or that's

678
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,799
Speaker 1: you've been my understanding, right, That's what the thing is

679
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,439
Speaker 1: is that like, yes, there are some of us who

680
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 1: have like stayed in the academia and like or even

681
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 1: gone to more like like uh, social work, like so

682
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 1: social justice work and social work like in the field,

683
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 1: and someone's just like taking that knowledge like like y'all

684
00:36:57,160 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 1: are like and like doing it here and and and

685
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,839
Speaker 1: not like like sort of like decentralizing and like and

686
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:04,359
Speaker 1: like and like redistributing that knowledge of people you need

687
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:05,960
Speaker 1: who don't need to get all that debt and go

688
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,279
Speaker 1: to a school, they can just go on SoundCloud and

689
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:11,080
Speaker 1: get the knowledge. And so like that's what I like,

690
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 1: I'm doing my art and my poetry is like that.

691
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 1: It was cool and not happy that I learned it,

692
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 1: but like y'all need to go and do all that

693
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 1: ship to get this knowledge. And how do we I

694
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 1: think I think the ways we each have like re

695
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 1: tuned and like tuned our knowledge to our to our

696
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:25,920
Speaker 1: communities and do what we care about most has been

697
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:28,399
Speaker 1: like the best way to use all that. But I'm

698
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:30,360
Speaker 1: speaking of your poetry. Do you want to tell us

699
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:33,360
Speaker 1: a little bit, because you've you've published, you're published multiple

700
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 1: times over, multiple times over, tell us about it, your worst,

701
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:41,239
Speaker 1: what I'm doing, Share with the voice, and share with

702
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:44,399
Speaker 1: the children, Share with the children. So I'm a black

703
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:49,479
Speaker 1: transfilm artist and filmmaker and writer and um music maker

704
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:51,399
Speaker 1: and it's now get h P play a song later.

705
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 1: But yeah, so essentially, right after college, I started working

706
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 1: at a nonprofit doing like education, non private work, and

707
00:37:58,560 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: I thought that was the thing that I could care

708
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:04,719
Speaker 1: about it. It wasn't like many of us. We'll talk

709
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 1: about that the nonprofit funnel the fund right anyways, and

710
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 1: so and then that was the course hell, and so

711
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 1: I had to stop, and I I was trying to

712
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:16,840
Speaker 1: organize ended at the same time. And like in organizing,

713
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 1: I was like a beaut a by police and like

714
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:20,439
Speaker 1: having as in fighting, and then at work I wanted

715
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:21,800
Speaker 1: to die. So I was like, I'm going to stop

716
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,320
Speaker 1: all this. And these are things that really and truly

717
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 1: and literally happened to you, like literally like physically, like

718
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,120
Speaker 1: like I was at a rally and like was caught

719
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 1: in a police line and like it's a you know.

720
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 1: And so I had like they can choose how I

721
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 1: could do this work, you know. And so now I'm

722
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:42,319
Speaker 1: a full time artist. I was I was teaching youth

723
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 1: poetry in Boston, but now I run a writing works

724
00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 1: online and live for Winter Tangerine magazine. Um and yeah,

725
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 1: I said, I'm published, poet, published essayist. I've a column

726
00:38:55,719 --> 00:39:01,319
Speaker 1: dropping in Poetry Foundation magazine to Monday really July and July. Yeah,

727
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:04,360
Speaker 1: how exciting? But so is this is this like a

728
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:08,839
Speaker 1: regular column? So I'm the featured columns for July very cool,

729
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:12,239
Speaker 1: but for essay sort of on the world culture sending

730
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:16,239
Speaker 1: around poet you're coming out? Is this an online Yes, yes,

731
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 1: you'll have to send it to us so we can

732
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 1: link it so we can put our listeners. Yes. Um.

733
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:22,680
Speaker 1: And then more recently I've started doing a lot more

734
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,440
Speaker 1: video and film work, um, doing just like a lot

735
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:29,680
Speaker 1: of like sort of like like elevating and deconstructing like

736
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:33,440
Speaker 1: sort of selfie work and self making and telling you

737
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,000
Speaker 1: about that, tell little more you know, you know, we

738
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 1: love that, you know that you need That's all we

739
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:44,359
Speaker 1: needed that words. So my my next collection is coming

740
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:47,839
Speaker 1: out on Nightboat Books, and I think next next March. Um.

741
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 1: It's called The Black Condition, featuring Narcissus, and so obviously

742
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 1: take being Narcissus smith um and like really like delve

743
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:55,360
Speaker 1: into it and like it's sort of like you know,

744
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:58,360
Speaker 1: like the thornal ways that dismissed like oh someth's narcissist.

745
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 1: But the actually like tragedy of it all was, uh,

746
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,440
Speaker 1: our sisters were never allowed to see themselves like lootly

747
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 1: their whole life like praise, adored, gifted, told they were

748
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:07,960
Speaker 1: great and wonderful. But would never allowed to literally ever

749
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,959
Speaker 1: see themselves. So anything they received, they can never under

750
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:13,279
Speaker 1: truly understand why they were just told that they just

751
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:16,439
Speaker 1: deserved it up somebody, you know, being a gifted brown

752
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,719
Speaker 1: kid and struff through the world and whatever whatever whatever,

753
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:23,080
Speaker 1: get the parallels, so whatever. So when the sisters basically

754
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 1: in the wood and this nymph echo basically gaslights him

755
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 1: and drives him crazy when she reveals himself, he's like, no, bitch,

756
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:34,080
Speaker 1: I'm out, and so he runs away and this other

757
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:37,720
Speaker 1: demi god puts a river in his path and seeing

758
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 1: just a glipse of his own face like made him

759
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 1: stop and he dies because he can't actually see his face,

760
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 1: but because he saw that glimmer he's trying to see

761
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:47,839
Speaker 1: He's never seen it before. So it's not that he's

762
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:49,879
Speaker 1: so obsessed with his own reflection. He literally just trying

763
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 1: to see it for the first time ever. And see,

764
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,840
Speaker 1: that's the story that I know, is that he's obsessed

765
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:57,880
Speaker 1: with his own reflection. I never knew this, and so

766
00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:00,719
Speaker 1: he dies trying to trying to see himself literally trying

767
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:06,520
Speaker 1: that way, right, So yeah, so so like getting into

768
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 1: because as I know that I could be narcissistic and

769
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:10,759
Speaker 1: so I wanted to figure out like why why and

770
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:13,719
Speaker 1: soft because so it's sort of a parallel for me

771
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 1: the beginning of my transition. So I was like, Okay,

772
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 1: I need to figure out who this self is. I

773
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 1: kind of I thought, I sort of like a ca

774
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 1: Cattic glimpse. And so for me, it was like, how

775
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 1: do I see this whole self from myself without dying? Here?

776
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:27,920
Speaker 1: How do I not die? Trying to find myself? And

777
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 1: so thinking about like selfie work and like creating like

778
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:34,840
Speaker 1: digital selves and thinking about like distortion because I in

779
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 1: my transition thinking about like distorting my body from how

780
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:39,880
Speaker 1: it is currently rendered, you know, And and distortion is

781
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:42,439
Speaker 1: not a negative thing but an empowering, empowering thing because

782
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:44,920
Speaker 1: it's sort of things can't be put back, you know

783
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 1: what I mean, sort of you can't undo something that's

784
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:49,080
Speaker 1: been distorted in this way, which I really love. Um.

785
00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:51,799
Speaker 1: So yeah, So like selfie work and like self and

786
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 1: like trying to make self, trying trying to make a

787
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 1: reflective self that makes sense to me has been like

788
00:41:56,400 --> 00:42:00,600
Speaker 1: really important for my art. I absolutely love that. And

789
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:04,720
Speaker 1: thank you so much for bringing that story of Narcissus,

790
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:14,360
Speaker 1: because that like wow, that like is volumes, volumes, we're processed.

791
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 1: I love I love it. I love that process. I

792
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 1: love it. I'm excited. I love it. Right, I mean

793
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 1: and even just like the act of taking a selfie right,

794
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:24,800
Speaker 1: And it's kind of like when you're when you're curating

795
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 1: your Instagram or wherever you post. Right, it's like this

796
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 1: idea of like not posting back to back selfies or

797
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 1: too many selfies. Yeah, I not if it's my face

798
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 1: and it's my page, why not? Why not? You know?

799
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:40,440
Speaker 1: But I mean, yeah, I'm very taking selfie. I'm like

800
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:43,479
Speaker 1: against not. I'm also really in self and shame because

801
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,799
Speaker 1: I can there was one like definite sexist, but also

802
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 1: just like absolutely like people, I'm not like, I think

803
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,719
Speaker 1: that there has to be some need to see yourself right,

804
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:55,279
Speaker 1: and you know, people really and truly well, I would

805
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:58,239
Speaker 1: say straight men really and truly hate like the foum

806
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 1: selfie culture, the outwardly and admittedly hate it told you

807
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:03,399
Speaker 1: about yesterday. No we I think we should talk about

808
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:06,400
Speaker 1: that later, okay, um, but I mean doing on that

809
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 1: going on that. I hate it they hated because it's

810
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:12,279
Speaker 1: not from the perspective of the male gaze. It's completely

811
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:16,839
Speaker 1: like for yourself empowered and then I mean, obviously there

812
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:19,239
Speaker 1: are men that come onto the to the comments, but

813
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,600
Speaker 1: I know for myself, like whenever I post a selfie,

814
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:23,200
Speaker 1: it's a lot of my friends and the women and

815
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,439
Speaker 1: the films that I follow, like Praising Me right, which

816
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:28,319
Speaker 1: we talk about, and like our Goddess worship episode, you know,

817
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:30,399
Speaker 1: and it's like, because it's not for the male game.

818
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,320
Speaker 1: I have a question, Ja, so speaking of like journeys

819
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,239
Speaker 1: and distortion and selfies. So, and we've been on the

820
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:39,800
Speaker 1: internet all this time, right since before college, So what

821
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:42,959
Speaker 1: what role have selfies played for you, like college era

822
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 1: j and today? Because I've been doing You're right, you've

823
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 1: seen me do so I like, so I grew up

824
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 1: my mom, my mom and grandma obvious sending photos of me.

825
00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:52,200
Speaker 1: So I grewup in my house full of photos of myself.

826
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:55,479
Speaker 1: So it was like not weird. I'm very like even

827
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 1: all my dysphoria, it is very private because like my

828
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 1: external like sort of self that like you know, I

829
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 1: was like I was always loved it, Like I didn't

830
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:05,479
Speaker 1: always get it, had had a lot of body issues

831
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:07,880
Speaker 1: or whatever, but like I've always had reflects to myself

832
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:10,080
Speaker 1: in my home or whatever. And so when I first

833
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:12,120
Speaker 1: went to the boarding school, obviously there was no siting

834
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 1: me around them anywhere. And so that's when I begin

835
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 1: the practice of just like I'm like, always had to

836
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 1: phone with the camera, always had me in camera. Iways like,

837
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:21,200
Speaker 1: you know, just creating this photo doccultation for myself because

838
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:23,759
Speaker 1: I honestly like I didn't even realize it then, but

839
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:26,320
Speaker 1: I just did not. I didn't feel real I didn't

840
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:27,879
Speaker 1: I had seeing myself. I was like, oh no, you're

841
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:29,880
Speaker 1: a person like you you you do take up a

842
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 1: physical space, you know, and like did you feel it

843
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 1: like a disassociation before I had linked for this association,

844
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:39,799
Speaker 1: Like I would take selfies whenever I would feel like

845
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,919
Speaker 1: nothing got it to make like the actor that was like, okay,

846
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 1: even you're here, like all that work you got you

847
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 1: looking at you being here, you know, And so I

848
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:49,960
Speaker 1: didn't help the legs for that. But like every time

849
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:51,799
Speaker 1: I was down, as you know, I can go back,

850
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 1: going back now and see when high school selfies are

851
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:56,359
Speaker 1: like all that ship, I was like, oh, bit, you

852
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:58,759
Speaker 1: needed you needed a friend, but you made it. You

853
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,239
Speaker 1: made you made it self to like a digital copy

854
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 1: digital copy with myself. And but and also now like

855
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:05,239
Speaker 1: be able to look back and see all that, Like

856
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:09,479
Speaker 1: it's so helpful because I can really see, like how

857
00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:13,400
Speaker 1: do college photos are like heartbreaking? I'm like, you're sad,

858
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 1: you're blackout, like you're never stated like you know, smiling

859
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:18,279
Speaker 1: or not. I can just see. I can just know,

860
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:20,840
Speaker 1: you know. And so I'm happy that I haven't just

861
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:22,759
Speaker 1: to know how far I've come. Oh my god, those

862
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:26,880
Speaker 1: old college photos, the pain in our eyes, the pain,

863
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:30,399
Speaker 1: the pain in our even were together, like happy and happy.

864
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 1: They were together in that moment. This is collective sadness,

865
00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:42,560
Speaker 1: all of us. Just like that's real. That's the world's helpless. Yeah,

866
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:45,160
Speaker 1: I can definitely relate to like taking photos when like

867
00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:48,040
Speaker 1: you're disassociating. Like last summer, I was like I was

868
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 1: really depressed, and I was like going through all these transitions,

869
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:52,439
Speaker 1: and I would take photos of myself, but I would

870
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:54,799
Speaker 1: take like mirror pictures because for me, a lot of

871
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 1: my disassociation came from like feeling separate from my body

872
00:45:58,000 --> 00:45:59,920
Speaker 1: as a survivor. So I would have to take like

873
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 1: not even just selfies, but like here's a mirror photo

874
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,480
Speaker 1: of my full body, and like that would make me

875
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:06,360
Speaker 1: feel connected, Like I would have to look at that

876
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 1: photo like, Okay, I'm here, I'm a person, I'm present,

877
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 1: I'm moving, I'm transitioning, like I'm going through these transitions

878
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:16,319
Speaker 1: in life, but like I'm right here. You know. There's

879
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:19,400
Speaker 1: when I was in Detroit, I had, I had a

880
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:23,040
Speaker 1: room to myself and like, moment's very kind, but left

881
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:25,279
Speaker 1: Alan a lot in the best way. Yeah, and you

882
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:27,359
Speaker 1: moved to Detroit right after college? No, no, no no, no,

883
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 1: I lived in Boston for two whole years, two years,

884
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 1: two years. Yeah, I moved. I just moved from Detroit

885
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 1: back to California last summer. Yeah, but that recent elms

886
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:42,439
Speaker 1: the year. But when when I when when I was there,

887
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:46,040
Speaker 1: like I had this practice of like sitting staying in

888
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:49,000
Speaker 1: the mirror just saying you're alive and like and like

889
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:50,759
Speaker 1: and like I don't know how it sort of came

890
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:52,560
Speaker 1: to me, but I just like just like I remember

891
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 1: like feeling like nothing and happened, and we were just

892
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:57,320
Speaker 1: saying it until it felt like something. Yeah, and that

893
00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:58,799
Speaker 1: it came to practice of that I would just do

894
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,319
Speaker 1: like all the time time and and me and even

895
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 1: now whever I feel like posted that I'll descend the

896
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:06,160
Speaker 1: mirror like light on and to say, like you're alive,

897
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:08,880
Speaker 1: You're like just like it's kind of like a like

898
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:10,799
Speaker 1: a like a mantra almost, but it's sort of like

899
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:13,600
Speaker 1: a programming. I found program programming myself to be to

900
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:16,920
Speaker 1: hear it. And yeah, almost like muscle memory, because your

901
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:20,800
Speaker 1: brain is that muscle, right, yeah, exactly, exactly ex no,

902
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 1: And I'm like, okay, So it kind of reminds me

903
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 1: of like the practice of like talking to oneself as well,

904
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:29,880
Speaker 1: like almost how like taking a selfie is like talking

905
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,840
Speaker 1: with yourself or like speaking that way is like talking

906
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:36,040
Speaker 1: to yourself, And it's just like I think instead of

907
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:39,440
Speaker 1: prayer sometimes like those types of things can bring us

908
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 1: comfort and remind us of like our purpose and why

909
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:44,839
Speaker 1: we're here. And yeah, I talk to myself all the time,

910
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 1: so do I all the time. I'm like pull like interviews,

911
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:50,719
Speaker 1: like I play our conversations with people in my real

912
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:52,239
Speaker 1: life before I have to have them, right, I do

913
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 1: that to you. Yeah, sometimes you need it's important. It's important.

914
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 1: And the best is when like you're right where you've

915
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:00,319
Speaker 1: already prepared yourself and saving you're like I know you

916
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 1: were going to got you. I gotta right, that's so

917
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:08,240
Speaker 1: do you want to remind us? Um, where can people

918
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:10,799
Speaker 1: like look at find your poetry and your books and

919
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:13,360
Speaker 1: your work Jay dot dot net. You can get everything

920
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:16,920
Speaker 1: jay dot dot net A Y Y D O D D.

921
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,280
Speaker 1: If you go there, you'll find everything. You'll find poem,

922
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:25,400
Speaker 1: you'll find my music, you'll find my film essays. Yeah, everything,

923
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:27,359
Speaker 1: We'll be right there. It's it's one one stop shot

924
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:30,239
Speaker 1: for all you want from me. Perfect, perfect, And do

925
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:32,920
Speaker 1: you have any like I know you were touring, Um,

926
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:34,360
Speaker 1: there was a ProDance from when you were touring? What

927
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 1: was touring? Yeah? What was what was tour life? Like?

928
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:40,960
Speaker 1: What was that like? It was fun? It was fun? Uh,

929
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:43,840
Speaker 1: it was complicated. It was so easy things. So we

930
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:46,239
Speaker 1: went to went through like the Southwest, so we went

931
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 1: from like l A down to Arizona and New Mexico.

932
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:52,000
Speaker 1: And I'm trying to move to Mexico because like ghost

933
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:53,400
Speaker 1: the aliens on my ship and I'm not like on

934
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 1: the black people there and they were great, So I'm

935
00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:58,280
Speaker 1: like trying to get there in my life. No, no,

936
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:01,359
Speaker 1: no truth or consequences. It's a very small town. That's

937
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:05,160
Speaker 1: the name of the town in Mexico. Yes, yes, sounds

938
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:10,799
Speaker 1: like a band that's a whole other story. On tour,

939
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:15,319
Speaker 1: like it was wild, like like it's not someone so

940
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:20,279
Speaker 1: different than California, but there's a certain like uh like

941
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 1: less pretense in this way, you know. Um, and I

942
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:27,279
Speaker 1: was sort of surprised how queer parts of it were,

943
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:29,960
Speaker 1: but it's it was still very like like white and

944
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 1: light brown queer. It wasn't like you know, it wasn't

945
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 1: on the black transforms out there and getting in life.

946
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:37,760
Speaker 1: So that was sort of weird, like performing people performing

947
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:39,839
Speaker 1: for a majority people who are not people who are

948
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:42,360
Speaker 1: right who create my work for um, and sort of

949
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 1: feeling like a token like within the tour, that was

950
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:47,200
Speaker 1: something that was hard to deal with. But the actual

951
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:49,440
Speaker 1: like being out and like performing live and like sharing

952
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 1: spaces always wanted that was cool, you know because you

953
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:53,840
Speaker 1: were on tour with a group. Yeah. Yeah, so it

954
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:57,520
Speaker 1: was this group called Sisters Spit. Oh my god, okay, yes,

955
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:02,320
Speaker 1: let's talk about it. Yeah yeah, so I was like,

956
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:06,239
Speaker 1: yeah I was on this year. Um and uh, one

957
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:09,400
Speaker 1: thing is it was starting for like white bunch lesbians

958
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,719
Speaker 1: to go on our band and like white white but

959
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:15,279
Speaker 1: especially been saying got in Mexico and Arizona, right, sure,

960
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:18,880
Speaker 1: just fine, just fine, And and and it even like

961
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:22,440
Speaker 1: so like like like says people can like you know

962
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 1: what I mean. And so this thing where we're just

963
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 1: like it was sort of hard to like hold other

964
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:29,759
Speaker 1: people's like kind of like fake anxieties. We're not fake,

965
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:31,759
Speaker 1: but I'm like, y'all performing anxiety because you know, this

966
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 1: is ANXIO situation, but the person who's most most endangered

967
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:37,880
Speaker 1: is me, and I'm here and I'm level, so y'all stuff,

968
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 1: So hard to like that's having to maintain all these

969
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:42,759
Speaker 1: people when I was like, you know what, Jamal Jamal

970
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:47,520
Speaker 1: lewis fat them on. Yeah, so Jamal along to people

971
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 1: come tour um and and so like it was always

972
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:52,480
Speaker 1: so it was us and then all these other like

973
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:57,040
Speaker 1: small mostly sis like you know, yeah, and so there's

974
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,480
Speaker 1: a little bit of like a safety gap in sort

975
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:02,399
Speaker 1: of like a k air community gap, solidarity solidarity gap

976
00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:05,960
Speaker 1: that happens, but then like sort of reflecting on what

977
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 1: is created for of course of course not and so

978
00:51:08,719 --> 00:51:11,160
Speaker 1: and so I'm happy that I got that space, but

979
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:14,080
Speaker 1: it definitely not like safe or like good for my

980
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:17,520
Speaker 1: body casually. And I'm happy that it was like that

981
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:19,320
Speaker 1: we got through it, but it definitely was like, oh,

982
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:22,360
Speaker 1: like yellow is not safe for everyone. Bring there is

983
00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 1: that gap right where it's like, if I'm by myself,

984
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:31,120
Speaker 1: I faced my own particular violences, right, But then now

985
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:33,839
Speaker 1: if you and I are walking down the street, I

986
00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 1: am probably going to be the one to like get

987
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 1: in between or assert my privileges in that moment, especially

988
00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:44,360
Speaker 1: if you're in my community, which is predominantly non black

989
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:48,719
Speaker 1: and not many trans people at all and like very religious,

990
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:51,080
Speaker 1: right right, but is the thing like it all depends

991
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:55,239
Speaker 1: on the space and like stars and that's fine, and

992
00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:59,240
Speaker 1: that's fine, but like if y'all are white passing says passing,

993
00:51:59,320 --> 00:52:03,239
Speaker 1: straight passing, I don't get that luxury ever right in

994
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:05,239
Speaker 1: any space, you know, like and maybe even gender, but

995
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:07,359
Speaker 1: I'm can still something, I'm a little with some something

996
00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 1: and that's something something something something, you know what I mean.

997
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:11,879
Speaker 1: It's never like an assuming that oh they're probably just fine,

998
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:14,960
Speaker 1: never and so and so I was curious to me

999
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,360
Speaker 1: even like when sort of like queer spaces don't unpack

1000
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:22,840
Speaker 1: the differences within those spaces, I mean, have it happens

1001
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:25,600
Speaker 1: across POC general, especially in these creer spaces, like they

1002
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 1: really sort of like get away with like casual anti

1003
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:34,040
Speaker 1: like black anti black in consideration, I think consideration and

1004
00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:36,960
Speaker 1: like like transphobic in consideration. It's not like it's definitely

1005
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 1: not intentional or like malicious and so you can't call

1006
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:41,960
Speaker 1: him on it and what well, yeah, but you're not

1007
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:43,880
Speaker 1: meaning to will still lead me dead, you know what

1008
00:52:43,880 --> 00:52:45,920
Speaker 1: I mean, You're not meaning to still lead me. Like

1009
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:49,759
Speaker 1: remember we stopped to Tuside and there's like white it's

1010
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:53,239
Speaker 1: like sort of white passing like trans mass person on

1011
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:55,839
Speaker 1: the tour um and we're into something. I mean, we're

1012
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:57,520
Speaker 1: on like a stop going some where people are going

1013
00:52:57,560 --> 00:53:00,520
Speaker 1: to get groceries or whatever. And I just went to

1014
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:02,960
Speaker 1: a two walk block, like I go over to to

1015
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:05,640
Speaker 1: walk for like two blocks to have a cigarette whatever.

1016
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:08,319
Speaker 1: Every single block, someone in the car, someone like some

1017
00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:13,040
Speaker 1: of something to say, whatever, something, something all violent, all terrible,

1018
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 1: And I was just like and I've been't do something

1019
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:16,719
Speaker 1: before like I'd say that, like I was like this

1020
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:21,759
Speaker 1: whatever out. I mean, I always think that I'm not

1021
00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:23,440
Speaker 1: even that fan, but like that's not even that's start

1022
00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:24,759
Speaker 1: feeding like field. But you know what I mean, I

1023
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:27,120
Speaker 1: thought it was fine or whatever that means, you know,

1024
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:30,480
Speaker 1: what I mean, we try and rationalized to protect right

1025
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:34,000
Speaker 1: felt all that ship. So I was and I just

1026
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:36,000
Speaker 1: like got a whole huspanic attack and then came back

1027
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:39,759
Speaker 1: and then my like white passing mask transfer and is

1028
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:42,360
Speaker 1: making out with some way bits oh fucking outside of

1029
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:45,279
Speaker 1: the building on this on the same you can make

1030
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:47,880
Speaker 1: out with somebody on I can't walk down, got it right?

1031
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,600
Speaker 1: And there's the there's the there's don't know what I mean,

1032
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:52,279
Speaker 1: it's like that's like a you know, like and like

1033
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:53,840
Speaker 1: and they're a fire person. We were home, is like

1034
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:55,400
Speaker 1: it was not about them, say, but that should have

1035
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:57,440
Speaker 1: showed me that like this space is okay for certain

1036
00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:59,799
Speaker 1: people and not others. And the fact that it wasn't

1037
00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:02,080
Speaker 1: like talked about or like or like whatever was brought

1038
00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:04,640
Speaker 1: episode of just like oh we're just bad, no y'all,

1039
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:07,239
Speaker 1: y'all brought me here. You know. The thing that we

1040
00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:10,120
Speaker 1: talked about one of our we've done two episodes on

1041
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:12,400
Speaker 1: the podcast on what we call fem defense, So just

1042
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:16,640
Speaker 1: safety planning in general, whether that's street harassment, um, what

1043
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:20,319
Speaker 1: have you so for you when you think of your

1044
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:24,000
Speaker 1: day to day and safety planning or like as far

1045
00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:26,000
Speaker 1: as people who are hanging out with you and safety

1046
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:28,000
Speaker 1: planning for you. What would that look like like? What

1047
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:32,200
Speaker 1: would that film defense conversation look like for you? So

1048
00:54:32,239 --> 00:54:35,239
Speaker 1: this is complicated obviously because like my body is to

1049
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:39,120
Speaker 1: my body, I'm six five, I'm black, I'm not like,

1050
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:42,279
Speaker 1: I'm not as oft as I want to imagine, you know,

1051
00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:45,080
Speaker 1: in terms of how outside will read me. Sure, and

1052
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:46,920
Speaker 1: so like this is thing where I've been with like

1053
00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:50,239
Speaker 1: transfer friends and trans women friends who are like much

1054
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:53,120
Speaker 1: less palpable than me. And it's funny how like in

1055
00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:57,440
Speaker 1: a cup setting, how quickly I become like a buoyded them.

1056
00:54:57,480 --> 00:54:59,480
Speaker 1: How do you deal with that having to be like,

1057
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:02,640
Speaker 1: oh interesting, Oh you're you're literally using me as a

1058
00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:05,880
Speaker 1: physical block aide, like because of your size, because because

1059
00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 1: of my size, the bodyguards. I know, I know that,

1060
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:09,719
Speaker 1: it's not I know that it's not like I don't

1061
00:55:09,719 --> 00:55:12,320
Speaker 1: see as a woman. It's that I'm just now because

1062
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:14,359
Speaker 1: of my body, I like I'm always going to I'm

1063
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:17,799
Speaker 1: physically like the first line of defense, and so like

1064
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:21,799
Speaker 1: something about that instead of the one needing defending right right,

1065
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:23,400
Speaker 1: And I don't even like so I don't even have

1066
00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:25,719
Speaker 1: to think about that dichotomy so actively, because like I

1067
00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 1: would defend just because I like, it's just like words.

1068
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:30,080
Speaker 1: I look at my mom creat a gun and so

1069
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:32,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, do you know, like I come from a

1070
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:34,400
Speaker 1: line of FIM dug so like FIM arrest is not

1071
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:36,560
Speaker 1: hard for me to hold onto, but like when I'm

1072
00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:38,680
Speaker 1: being used without being told on being used to be

1073
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:41,399
Speaker 1: uh this thing and so for me, it's just like

1074
00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:45,040
Speaker 1: I think it's really like a in the spot, like

1075
00:55:45,239 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 1: if you were something's happening to you and I know

1076
00:55:47,239 --> 00:55:49,359
Speaker 1: my body will will be used. I'm gonna use it.

1077
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:51,680
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna I'm not gonna need to be dowdated.

1078
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:53,680
Speaker 1: Oh no, this been bitch will kill you. And this

1079
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:55,080
Speaker 1: is five body, you know what I mean. It's not

1080
00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:58,279
Speaker 1: something about that, but I do wish sort of like

1081
00:55:59,239 --> 00:56:02,920
Speaker 1: in like sort of a casual ways that like uh

1082
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:06,160
Speaker 1: women and fims sort of like engaged big and tall

1083
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:09,520
Speaker 1: women with a little bit more like humanity and like

1084
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:13,240
Speaker 1: and like and just like and like. But it's almost

1085
00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:14,719
Speaker 1: like like a body leguas because and even like how

1086
00:56:14,760 --> 00:56:16,239
Speaker 1: people always speak to me. But it's like, you know,

1087
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:18,680
Speaker 1: you're literally physically treating me like I'm your bodyguard, Like

1088
00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:22,239
Speaker 1: I'm you're like guard dog, I'm not that much. I

1089
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 1: was asked to be. You've asked me to be. So

1090
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:26,520
Speaker 1: how do we get here? You know what I mean? Um?

1091
00:56:26,520 --> 00:56:29,919
Speaker 1: And so it's it's like I think, like I think,

1092
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:34,040
Speaker 1: knowing what people need, knowing what like like like checking in,

1093
00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:35,759
Speaker 1: like in a space. If you feel like how you

1094
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:38,000
Speaker 1: hop off with what you need to get out? Are

1095
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:40,120
Speaker 1: you going to fight? You're not a fight to get out.

1096
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:41,680
Speaker 1: If you want to fight, then you can like let

1097
00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:44,279
Speaker 1: it play you out. You know what? The communication communication

1098
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:47,880
Speaker 1: I said, it's not about being used in that way.

1099
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:51,640
Speaker 1: It's about not being student, not choosing to It's not

1100
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 1: not not not being able to choose my body to

1101
00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:56,279
Speaker 1: use it, to use it as I want to. Yeah,

1102
00:56:56,320 --> 00:56:57,680
Speaker 1: you're like a ton of me and your agency is

1103
00:56:57,760 --> 00:57:01,320
Speaker 1: lost in those moments, right right, right right, Oh my gosh.

1104
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:04,840
Speaker 1: There's levels upon levels up levels un levels send degrees

1105
00:57:05,040 --> 00:57:08,640
Speaker 1: to other degrees. Yeah, and it's not cutting drivers wise,

1106
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:10,440
Speaker 1: like it's not like should be better, it's like no, no,

1107
00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:13,239
Speaker 1: we have to just like in communication in those situations,

1108
00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:15,600
Speaker 1: how to communicate will keep us all the safer and

1109
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:18,400
Speaker 1: like long term feeling bad about how to navigate it,

1110
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:21,120
Speaker 1: and life is long and there are many days in

1111
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:23,000
Speaker 1: the week and they just keep coming. So it's it's

1112
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:25,560
Speaker 1: going to end up being like a situational like situation

1113
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:28,480
Speaker 1: by situation, we're making assessments and talking to each other.

1114
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:35,160
Speaker 1: So you did mention that you make music. We're kind

1115
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:38,360
Speaker 1: of coming towards the end of this interview at this point,

1116
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:41,640
Speaker 1: and we want to make sure that you plug everything

1117
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:43,919
Speaker 1: that you know. You would like our listeners to check

1118
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:47,120
Speaker 1: out your work, your projects, your music, where to find

1119
00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:48,920
Speaker 1: it and if you can introduce this song this is

1120
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 1: Jay song? Sure? Okay, yeah, so, um, you should definitely

1121
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:55,360
Speaker 1: go on our website. I'm more so like people just

1122
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,880
Speaker 1: to read and follow me and then send me money

1123
00:57:58,080 --> 00:57:59,440
Speaker 1: if you If you go on my website, you can

1124
00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:02,960
Speaker 1: find all my don't the links, but on PayPal, Vinmo,

1125
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:05,880
Speaker 1: and cash me. It's j dot my name j A

1126
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:07,720
Speaker 1: Y Y d O D D on all of them

1127
00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:10,640
Speaker 1: all one word. Um. But yeah, go on my website.

1128
00:58:10,760 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 1: Check out my poem, check out my essays. Uh, and

1129
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:15,760
Speaker 1: also you can check out my new my new work.

1130
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:18,320
Speaker 1: I released it. I released it like a rap album

1131
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:22,840
Speaker 1: like three years ago. I remember, I remember, And have

1132
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:25,840
Speaker 1: you done anything really? Yes? So I haven't done anything

1133
00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:33,520
Speaker 1: musical publicly since then. Yeah, what was it called Goon? Yes? Yes,

1134
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:36,240
Speaker 1: yes you did, Yes you did, Yes you did, you did?

1135
00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:38,920
Speaker 1: You did? Um but oh my god, Googen was a

1136
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:43,480
Speaker 1: whole error from me anyways, and era moment Googon era

1137
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:46,280
Speaker 1: lasted basically Utili Goon was my last bour era like

1138
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:48,840
Speaker 1: Goon and then like Death of Boyhood and then now

1139
00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:51,080
Speaker 1: and then now and here we are, here we are

1140
00:58:51,120 --> 00:58:54,000
Speaker 1: and here we are. But yeah, so I but even

1141
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:56,280
Speaker 1: that production was that, that was all just wrapping. I

1142
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:58,760
Speaker 1: do any any of the production on that. So this

1143
00:58:58,840 --> 00:59:01,640
Speaker 1: is like a whole new venture. It's no words, it's

1144
00:59:01,680 --> 00:59:06,040
Speaker 1: all it's all production, instrumental soundscape. But yeah, but this

1145
00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:09,840
Speaker 1: album is Constellations Humanity and it's based on the soundtrack

1146
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:12,000
Speaker 1: to my first film, but also some other cool songs.

1147
00:59:12,240 --> 00:59:14,520
Speaker 1: But this one song is called Andre Leon Tally and

1148
00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 1: it's named after the like black fashion god. But the

1149
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:21,680
Speaker 1: thing is he's like dying poor and alone, really really

1150
00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:26,160
Speaker 1: really really tragic, like profile come out recently being like yeah,

1151
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:28,760
Speaker 1: like animator online things that she wants to like me

1152
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:30,640
Speaker 1: and like all these people whatever, and I have to

1153
00:59:30,680 --> 00:59:32,520
Speaker 1: sort of this feeling of like he was just at

1154
00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:37,680
Speaker 1: the met again right right, no, right right, and so

1155
00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:40,760
Speaker 1: but the thing is also like Tally like has like

1156
00:59:40,880 --> 00:59:43,920
Speaker 1: never demanded blackness in this way of his faces that

1157
00:59:43,920 --> 00:59:45,760
Speaker 1: he was in crafting, and I think that was why

1158
00:59:45,760 --> 00:59:47,240
Speaker 1: he got so far in many ways, and he sort

1159
00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:50,600
Speaker 1: of reflects about sometimes, especially in this profile. But he

1160
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 1: also is a very large black man, So I was

1161
00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:54,800
Speaker 1: very like bodily connection to him, but also worry about

1162
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:58,480
Speaker 1: like ascent in like non black worlds and like the

1163
00:59:58,520 --> 01:00:01,520
Speaker 1: particial loan and how to avoid that. Okay, because I'm

1164
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:04,200
Speaker 1: about about dying broke, like what's money, but I do

1165
01:00:04,280 --> 01:00:06,240
Speaker 1: worry about dying like alone and without a thought like

1166
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:09,520
Speaker 1: a black community loving me. So this song is like

1167
01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:12,560
Speaker 1: both in homage and like a thought, but it's not

1168
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:16,200
Speaker 1: like I'm on Telly, Okay, thank you so much for

1169
01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:18,880
Speaker 1: you In the background of that's of that Wow, J

1170
01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:23,480
Speaker 1: you're so with Jay and I. We were talking. We

1171
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:26,520
Speaker 1: haven't seen each other since graduation. It's been for years,

1172
01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:29,040
Speaker 1: you know, just doing our thing and living our lives.

1173
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:31,160
Speaker 1: And when we saw each other right now on the street,

1174
01:00:31,440 --> 01:00:34,160
Speaker 1: it's well, no time has a labs when it's time,

1175
01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:36,680
Speaker 1: when it's time. Anyways, we're back we're back at it.

1176
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:39,040
Speaker 1: Thank you so much Jay for being here. You are

1177
01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:43,040
Speaker 1: truly brilliant, Like whenever you're in the area and you

1178
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:44,760
Speaker 1: want to come on the show, you are more than

1179
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:49,320
Speaker 1: This has been such a fun episode to like come back,

1180
01:00:49,600 --> 01:00:53,240
Speaker 1: you know, after our break. I'm like, truly, truly you

1181
01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:56,560
Speaker 1: came on the show. I'm so happy y'all doing such

1182
01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:59,959
Speaker 1: important things like I love you and I have about

1183
01:00:59,960 --> 01:01:01,920
Speaker 1: I know y'all in this way, I don't feel like

1184
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:07,480
Speaker 1: like fan the quiet, but belated to be hearing to

1185
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:09,240
Speaker 1: help y'all and help you' all like support you all

1186
01:01:09,240 --> 01:01:12,600
Speaker 1: this time. Yeah, I love you, Thank you, thank you,

1187
01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:17,439
Speaker 1: Thank you once again for tuning in to Another Look Radio. Yes,

1188
01:01:17,520 --> 01:01:20,640
Speaker 1: as always, you can follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook

1189
01:01:20,680 --> 01:01:23,720
Speaker 1: at Look at That Radio. Um, we have new merch

1190
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:25,640
Speaker 1: we have our pins, so if you want to place

1191
01:01:25,680 --> 01:01:28,480
Speaker 1: an order, you can do that via Venmo And if

1192
01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:30,480
Speaker 1: you feel so inclined to do so, please leave us

1193
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:35,280
Speaker 1: a review on Apple Podcast. We're at like close to

1194
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:40,000
Speaker 1: two hundred reviews, two hundred stars. Exciting. Please help us

1195
01:01:40,120 --> 01:01:43,440
Speaker 1: get get us to two hundred. Yes, yes, thank you,

1196
01:01:43,680 --> 01:01:45,200
Speaker 1: love you, love you all.