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Speaker 1: My husband wants to punish our daughter for cheating. But

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Speaker 1: there's only one problem. She's only seven years old.

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Speaker 2: What does she do? Hold the hands with another little boy?

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Speaker 1: Giving you know, the little heart candies, which are disgusting,

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Speaker 1: by the way, disgusting, so gross, but they show love.

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Speaker 1: But they show so much that they have sweet little messages.

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Speaker 3: The fact that someone's accusing a seven year old of

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Speaker 3: cheating is ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: You know, it just doesn't exist actually if you think

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Speaker 1: about it.

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Speaker 3: But hey, I mean, seven is the age of reason

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Speaker 3: in the Catholic Church apparently, Uh so you can start

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Speaker 3: being convicted of crimes.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: I think this case, we might have to take it

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Speaker 1: to the highest power.

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Speaker 2: Oh h.

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Speaker 3: Lane all the get the pope, get them all, I say,

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Speaker 3: you know, goes straight to like Saudi Arabia. Let's do

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Speaker 3: an old fashioned stoning.

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Speaker 1: Let's have fun over there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it would be a good time. So I talk

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Speaker 3: about getting stone That's what I mean, by the way.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, puffin that grass, no throwing those stones? Oh okay,

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Speaker 3: doubling down, I see, you.

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Speaker 2: Know that's what I want.

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Speaker 3: Great, It's like that game where you like throw those

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Speaker 3: balls to like dunk someone.

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Speaker 2: You know, oh right, right.

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Speaker 1: Right, yeah, it seems a little more high stakes, more fun,

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Speaker 1: just slightly, yeah, more enjoyable. Yeah, yeah, of course. So

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Speaker 1: my husband and I have a seven year old daughter together, Layla.

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Speaker 1: A few months ago, Layla got a boyfriend, Lucas.

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Speaker 2: I feel like that I didn't.

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Speaker 3: Have a like even like a quote unquote boyfriend or

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Speaker 3: girlfriend until.

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Speaker 2: Like what high school.

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Speaker 3: To have a quote unquote boyfriend at seven, that's that's early.

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Speaker 1: See, it's uh, you know, it's tough, Sam, because some

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Speaker 1: some people had them when they were five.

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Speaker 2: You know, do you have a girlfriend at five?

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Speaker 1: May or may not have a shorty at five? Five?

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Speaker 2: Damn John Spain, I.

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Speaker 1: Think like either kindergarten or I think preschool because it

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Speaker 1: was outside of like the regular.

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Speaker 3: Big deal, you know, big geez. I know you were

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Speaker 3: a flopper at five. Man's got a fucking anaconda, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, just you know me, it was like they had

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Speaker 1: to take me out of diapers because there just wasn't

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Speaker 1: enough room, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: You know, for my.

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Speaker 1: Dookies had a terrible diarrhea.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. On my way to solve it was to plug

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Speaker 3: it with your own member exactly. Who needs a butt?

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Speaker 3: Plug when you can just when you're in your asshole.

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Speaker 1: It's like Steve Jobs, Why use a stylist when you

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Speaker 1: have a finger, That's why use a butt plug when

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Speaker 1: you have a wiener? Innovation facts facts. Now they're both

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Speaker 1: seven years old, so this is obviously not a real relationship,

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Speaker 1: says you, mama.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, who bade you the star of love?

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Speaker 1: You can't stop on my love?

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Speaker 2: Nah ah, low key.

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Speaker 3: I feel like holding hands can be more of like

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Speaker 3: an intimate gesture than most of these bangs on tinder.

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Speaker 1: Come on days, you meet you throwing you throw the

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Speaker 1: hot dog in the hallway and then you kick her,

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Speaker 1: kick her to the curb. But holding hand, Holding hands

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Speaker 1: is serious. That is a big old big.

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Speaker 2: Hands in public is like, that's a big deal.

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Speaker 1: Wait, I'm sorry, are you married? I just saw you

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Speaker 1: were holding hands? Is it your fiftieth anniversary?

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Speaker 2: Because it is? Congratulations. Yeah, I'm happy for me too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah of course I'm alone. Oh you should be and sad?

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Speaker 3: Hey when you had all your game at five? Like

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Speaker 3: I leave some for the rest.

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Speaker 2: Of them pre school.

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Speaker 1: Now these two just hold handsometimes. And Andala's true love

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Speaker 1: if you ask us. And they drew each other hearts

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Speaker 1: for Valentine's Day. That's cute, very sweet. This week, though,

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Speaker 1: Layla was apparently holding hands with another boy who.

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Speaker 2: Was going on ar God, that's fine.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you know, maybe maybe she's trying to start

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Speaker 3: like a little little Polly poly group.

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Speaker 1: You know, hey, listen, love is love.

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Speaker 2: Love is love.

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Speaker 1: I mean sometimes that's what I saw hands. God gave

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Speaker 1: us two hands. So what I'm what am I finna

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Speaker 1: do with that?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: You get a whole little boyfriend, Billy Bob, come out down.

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Speaker 1: And this other boy also sent Leila a Valentine's Day

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Speaker 1: love letter. Dang, Layla's like John when he was five.

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Speaker 1: You know, the attention sometimes, you know, it's a smart

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Speaker 1: nanny when you just just got out of diapers, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean by the way, it took me

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Speaker 1: a long time to get out of diapers a lot.

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Speaker 1: So I want to say, like three or four something

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Speaker 1: like that.

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Speaker 2: What's normal?

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Speaker 1: I feel like two, Like potty training is at too.

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Speaker 1: I think they start potty training diapers now, no comment. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know. It keeps certain things private in my life,

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Speaker 1: you know, fair fair judgment, like like the affair I

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Speaker 1: had when I was five.

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Speaker 3: I was also wondering, just like why the podcast to

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Speaker 3: you smells like shit every day?

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Speaker 1: You know, look, there's this there's this new incense. It's

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Speaker 1: this whole thing. It's there's this whole gut biome thing

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Speaker 1: where you smell and it improves your your gut. You know,

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Speaker 1: keep it a whole bunch of science. Okay, you wouldn't

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Speaker 1: hear it, but I do you want to hear this story? Okay,

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Speaker 1: Lucas took offense to all this.

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Speaker 2: I can imagine his girl will be cheating.

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Speaker 1: Yep, we found out.

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Speaker 2: His hands getting hot and sweaty, hot and heavy.

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Speaker 1: Uh oh, we found out because Lucas's parents called us

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Speaker 1: to tell us that they said they told us that

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Speaker 1: Lucas won't be coming over this Saturday like originally planned

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Speaker 1: because he is mad at Layla.

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Speaker 3: I can understand Lucas. You know, you think you're going

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Speaker 3: steady with your girl and then you know you see

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Speaker 3: it with another man.

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Speaker 1: One hundred steeli old girl. Yeah that's the number. That

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Speaker 1: other guy called my husband wants us to punish Leilah

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Speaker 1: and wants me to have a talk with her about faithfulness.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I agree with half of that. Yeah, punish.

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Speaker 3: No like I mean like I don't think like you're seven,

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Speaker 3: you know, like I feel like I used to play

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Speaker 3: kissy tag in kindergarten, so like I had I had

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Speaker 3: some girls around, you know, a little yeah, a little Harrem.

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Speaker 3: But I mean like you don't know anything about you really,

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Speaker 3: monogamy or how these weird roles that society says that

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Speaker 3: you have to you know, impose on yourself work, and

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Speaker 3: so it's like, yes, maybe give the talk about Hey,

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Speaker 3: this is you know, like Lucas is kind of pissed

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Speaker 3: right now.

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Speaker 2: Because he thinks you're cheating. This is what.

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Speaker 3: Here's what like, you know, how jealousy and some of

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Speaker 3: these relationships work in the future.

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Speaker 2: But to punish like it doesn't make.

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Speaker 1: The angle of like you did something wrong.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just explain what happened, you know, it's not necessary.

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Speaker 3: It's actually not necessarily wrong to hook up with multiple

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Speaker 3: people or hold hands with multiple people. It's just like

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Speaker 3: if you're lying about it, or if the uh, the

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Speaker 3: relationship contract is violated, that's true. So I think you

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Speaker 3: have that little level of detail of a talk with

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Speaker 3: your seven year old.

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Speaker 1: You forgot one thing. So Lucas signed the contract with

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Speaker 1: the hand turkey that is true.

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Speaker 2: I see your prince on this, Lucas, you can't get

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Speaker 2: out of this.

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Speaker 1: Always read your contract. At first I thought my husband

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Speaker 1: was joking, but no, he was serious. He says that

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Speaker 1: Layla cheated on Lucas, and I, as her mother, should

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Speaker 1: do something about it. I told my husband that Layla

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Speaker 1: is seven, not a cheater, and I won't treat her

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Speaker 1: as such. Love, how you have to say that Layla

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Speaker 1: is seven? Come on, dude, like he he? Then my

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Speaker 1: man doubles down. He then accuses me of raising a

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Speaker 1: cheater and encouraging the bad behavior. So am I for

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Speaker 1: wanting to punish Layla? Ladies and gentlemen, I think you

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Speaker 1: need to tell us what you think or if you've

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Speaker 1: raised a cheater. But Sam, have you raised a cheater?

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Speaker 1: What are your thoughts?

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Speaker 2: All? Right?

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Speaker 3: Well, first of all, twist, I think maybe the husband's cheating.

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Speaker 3: Oh they always say, and a bunch of our stories.

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Speaker 3: It's like the accuser who is accusing that person of

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Speaker 3: cheating is usually self conscious about their own cheating.

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Speaker 1: That is such. I honestly totally think that's very, very possible.

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Speaker 2: I think that could keep case. Wow.

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Speaker 3: Second though, second, second, second, don't I don't agree with punishment.

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Speaker 2: I don't agree this person as a cheater.

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Speaker 3: But what I do agree with is like just having

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Speaker 3: this conversation, Like I said, totally think is an a

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Speaker 3: hole to call the seven year old a cheater a

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Speaker 3: whole move to like call the mom a the raizor

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Speaker 3: of a cheater. The fact that it happened, I think,

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Speaker 3: I think it opens up a conversation which I actually

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Speaker 3: think could benefit the daughter. So I say, uh, Op,

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Speaker 3: not an a hole father, a hole seven year old daughter?

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Speaker 3: Also not an a hole.

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Speaker 1: Case closed. I don't care about your heart attack. My

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Speaker 1: son's finger has a booboo.

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Speaker 2: OKAYOPI this is okay o B.

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Speaker 3: I'm Samuel Donner and I'm John Fry and we tell

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Speaker 3: the funniest stories on the internets.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we do. Sam. Have you ever been in like

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Speaker 1: a like an accident where you like hurt yourself pretty badly?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm lucky to say that I haven't been in

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Speaker 3: too many accidents. But there is one time that I'm

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Speaker 3: I'm remembering I got a longboard right for the first time,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, I'm going to bomb the biggest hill

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Speaker 3: in my area. So I go to the top of

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Speaker 3: the hill and I'm like, I'm also not prepared for

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Speaker 3: it all. I'm wearing flip flops, I'm wearing a tank top,

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Speaker 3: and I'm wearing like my my shortest shorts effort so protected,

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Speaker 3: so protected. And so I get at the top of

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Speaker 3: this hill and I'm like, this is gonna be a

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Speaker 3: piece of cake, right, never having ridden this long board before.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, you're telling me this is the first time

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Speaker 1: you step foot on this long board.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been skateboards before, but I like, longboard's completely different.

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Speaker 1: I thought you were saying like you literally stepped foot

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Speaker 1: on like a board.

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Speaker 3: I had step forward, I had boards before. It was

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Speaker 3: the first time IVE ever gotten a long board. I

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Speaker 3: get to the top of the hill, I stand on

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Speaker 3: and I'm carving. I'm carving, but it's it's still pretty pretty,

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Speaker 3: like you know, flat, right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I get to this hill section and I'm going faster

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Speaker 3: and faster and faster, and I'm like, oh crap. And

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Speaker 3: there's a certain point when you're going so fast you

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Speaker 3: don't have control. You get speed wobbles, and so the

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Speaker 3: board starts shaking and I'm just like seeing my life

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Speaker 3: flash before my eyes.

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Speaker 2: I'm like oh my god, it's coming. It's coming.

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Speaker 3: And I get thrown from the board right and I

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Speaker 3: twist back and I'm not wearing a helmet too, of course, yeah, twist.

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Speaker 2: Back and my my, I kind of like I.

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Speaker 3: Luckily I don't hit my head, but I slide back

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Speaker 3: and I'm just ripping up my whole back. I'm wearing

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Speaker 3: a tank top, so there's no no protection, ripping the

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Speaker 3: skin on the concrete, all along my back, all along

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Speaker 3: my legs. And I come home and like and like,

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Speaker 3: I I get up, I'm bleeding everywhere. My back is

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Speaker 3: totally erect. I come home and I said, and I

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Speaker 3: and I and I go go to the door. I'm like, mom,

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Speaker 3: I felt like, you know, I'm bleeding everywhere.

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Speaker 2: It's just like you idiot, you didn't wear a helmet.

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Speaker 2: Go to your room. No.

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Speaker 3: Even worse, even worse is the next day, I I like,

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Speaker 3: I'm actually no, Like that week, we had like my

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Speaker 3: big swim competition. So no, throughout the week, I'm becoming

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Speaker 3: all scabbed up, all these scabs on my back. And

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Speaker 3: we had the swim competition later that week. So I

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Speaker 3: end up competing. But what happened And I still like

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Speaker 3: give it at my all. But what happens is as

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Speaker 3: soon as I like like get off the blocks, all

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Speaker 3: the scabs are ripping open and there's just blood in

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Speaker 3: the water. Looks like freaking jaws over row and it's bad.

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Speaker 3: So yes, that's my story of getting hurt.

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Speaker 1: Man vomit crazy.

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Speaker 2: I take a fast one, a quick bathroom bake.

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Speaker 1: You should have been like, I just murdered, y'all. That's

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Speaker 1: why I was blood in the water. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I didn't win. Wo did you not?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: Did you? Was there no like practice between the.

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Speaker 3: There was, but it was taper, so I can kind

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Speaker 3: of go slow, Like there's a taper week before big

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Speaker 3: big events where you're just kind of like allowing your

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Speaker 3: muscles to recover. I see my coaches thought I was

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Speaker 3: an idiot too. I was an idiot.

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Speaker 2: Man.

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Speaker 1: That's that street just treated you like a cheese grater.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It was a big hunk.

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Speaker 2: Of cheese with an even delicious though.

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Speaker 1: Oh goodness, well we have it. We have a story

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Speaker 1: today about someone else who got in an accident honestly

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Speaker 1: ten times less severe, but they kind of blow it

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Speaker 1: out of proportions. I don't care about your heart attack.

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Speaker 1: My son's finger has a booboo.

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Speaker 3: Who that seems like two different scales of hurts.

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Speaker 2: Not the boo boo, not the boo boom.

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Speaker 1: How could you this? This man is dying, but my

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Speaker 1: finger though, my finger though. All right, let's dive into

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Speaker 1: this one. So it was another wondrous day in the

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Speaker 1: emergency room. I love that. It was a wondrous day.

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Speaker 2: We love emergency We love it.

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Speaker 1: We gotta love it. People running wild, trying to keep up,

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Speaker 1: frantic health employees talking over each other. The emergency room

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Speaker 1: is a mixture of very severe patients in real risk

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Speaker 1: of dying, and patients who really don't have an emergency.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like hypochondrias, Yes, but they like coming in

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Speaker 3: here for who knows what reason and everything in between, just.

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Speaker 2: To be seen, in love, just to be, just to be.

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Speaker 1: I want, I want my fake emergency to be to

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Speaker 1: be recognized.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to be acknowledged.

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Speaker 1: To be validated. My finger deserves validation. Now, we had

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Speaker 1: a twenty three year old male who dislocated his index

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Speaker 1: finger in a sporting competition.

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Speaker 2: Okay, doesn't seem like too bad of an injury.

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Speaker 1: It's pretty you know, not even a whole appendage. He

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Speaker 1: had four other working fans. No, no, he had nine

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Speaker 1: other working fingers. Bro this man's fine. He came in

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Speaker 1: accompanied by his dad, the main antagonist in this story foreshadowing.

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Speaker 1: We attended to the sun and since we are an

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Speaker 1: expensive private hospital, we called the orthopedist to come down

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Speaker 1: and fix his finger. Meanwhile, the lad was given a

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Speaker 1: painkiller to help with the pain while he waited for

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Speaker 1: a few minutes for his specialist to arrive.

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Speaker 2: And that sounds like everything's going to plan.

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Speaker 1: Everything is going swimmingly so far as if on Q

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Speaker 1: incomes a man with horrendous chest pains. And here's the thing.

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Speaker 1: In the emergency department, we treat every single chest pain

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Speaker 1: as guilty of being a heart attack until being proven innocent.

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Speaker 1: So basically like we we just assume it's a heart attack.

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Speaker 2: From the jump. Yeah, but you should, guys, the heart

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Speaker 2: attacks are deadly.

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Speaker 1: This is true, So we begin investigations. We had finished

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Speaker 1: taking a brief history and we were setting up the

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Speaker 1: electrodes to the EKG which they use in case of

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Speaker 1: a heart attack. At that point, entitled Dad strolls on

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Speaker 1: up to us and says, hey, my son is in

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Speaker 1: a lot of pain. You can't just ignore him like this.

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Speaker 3: But the guy has a heart attack. Your son has

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Speaker 3: a dislocated finger. Priorities, priorities, my guy.

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Speaker 1: Me Sir, your son was just giving medication to aid

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Speaker 1: with the pain, and we cannot do anything more for him.

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Speaker 1: The specialist is on the way to get the finger fixed.

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Speaker 1: Entitled Dad, I know that, but but you must do something.

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Speaker 1: You can't just leave him like that, just off on

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Speaker 1: his left, on his own to defend himself.

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Speaker 4: With only one finger. With his fingo, I can't even

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Speaker 4: point anyway. How do I know where he wants me

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Speaker 4: to go and where he used to go?

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Speaker 1: What if a mountain lion attacks him and he can't

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Speaker 1: even point to point out where it is? The Chief

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Speaker 1: of the er, Sir, we have a much more urgent

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Speaker 1: case here. Your son is perfectly fine, and nobody but

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Speaker 1: the orthopedist can fix his finger as per hospital rules.

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Speaker 2: Makes sense, makes perfect sense.

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Speaker 1: That, of course, is unless you would be happy for

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Speaker 1: a nonspec to PLoP that old finger back into place,

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Speaker 1: and you accept the risk of attention by a non

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Speaker 1: specialist entitled Dad, Well, uh no, but uh the chief

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Speaker 1: of the r wonderful. Now give us space, please, we

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Speaker 1: are trying to work on this potential heart attack. At

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Speaker 1: the heart attack, the goodness entitled dad huffed his way

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Speaker 1: back to the orthopedic procedures room his son was in.

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Speaker 1: You might think walking into a room of three doctors

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Speaker 1: setting up an EKG machine on a patient with an

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Speaker 1: I'm in pain face would give the man enough of

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Speaker 1: a clue that priorities are priorities.

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Speaker 2: But no, no, no, this guy does not come again.

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Speaker 1: His son was way too precious to have a finger

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Speaker 1: boo boo sideline for a man with chest pains and

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Speaker 1: a potential heart attack. Now, in case you were wondering,

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Speaker 1: it all had an happy ending. The man with the

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Speaker 1: chest pains ended up not having a full blown heart attack,

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Speaker 1: and the twenty three year old got his finger fixed

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Speaker 1: and will be competition ready in no time.

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Speaker 2: Happy endings all around, that's right.

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Speaker 3: But man like, don't interrupt a doctor trying to treat

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Speaker 3: a heart attack, like, come on.

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Speaker 1: Cannot even begin to imagine.

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Speaker 2: Jeez, But you know what you should always imagine? Ooh.

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Speaker 3: Subscribing to Oh Kop Baby, follow us on Spotify and TikTok,

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Speaker 3: subscribe on YouTube.

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Speaker 2: If you want to be a real one, support us

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Speaker 2: in patron that's right.

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Speaker 1: Join Sandy Jamison, Felicia, Joey, Sandra Ario, Casey's Apurius, Davna

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Speaker 1: mo Amanda, will Desre, Keegan, and Kathy quickly to assume