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Speaker 1: Mmm, Hello everyone, and welcome back to Dear Cheekies. This

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Speaker 1: weekly podcast is a chance for me to connect with

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Speaker 1: you guys personally and directly. It's a place where I

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Speaker 1: can wait in on your questions about whatever you're going through.

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Speaker 1: Whether it's a breakup, a new marriage, or maybe you're

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Speaker 1: having issues with your best friend. These are my thoughts

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Speaker 1: and opinions and I'm happy to share them with you.

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Speaker 1: So without further ado, let's listen to the first question.

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Speaker 1: This question is from Michelle. Hi Cheekies. So, I separated

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Speaker 1: from baby Daddy when my baby was one years old,

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Speaker 1: and eight months later I met all of my life.

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Speaker 1: So I want to know how solness too soon to

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Speaker 1: move on. We've been talking about marriage and buying a

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Speaker 1: house together, something that baby Daddy didn't want. You know,

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Speaker 1: want family, and this new guy is family oriented and

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Speaker 1: that's all I wanted. Well, Michelle, thank you first of

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Speaker 1: all for your question. I have to be honest, I

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Speaker 1: think I am the last person to say that you

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Speaker 1: should wait, because I'm very much a relationship type of girl.

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Speaker 1: So I have jumped fairly quickly into next relationships. It

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Speaker 1: could be good, it could be bad, but I'm here

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Speaker 1: to tell you if this person, this guy is giving

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Speaker 1: you what you've always wanted, no one should tell you

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Speaker 1: it's too soon. If that's what you feel in the moment,

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Speaker 1: that you want to move in with him, that you

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Speaker 1: guys want to get married, that's your prerogative. I know

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Speaker 1: people that met on the internet, they met each other

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Speaker 1: two weeks later, they are pregnant and they're still together

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Speaker 1: and they have two or three kids. It says like

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Speaker 1: the boys. I think that if you feel comfortable and

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Speaker 1: he's giving you everything that your baby daddy didn't, then

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Speaker 1: I say go for it. Whether it's been a month,

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Speaker 1: eight months, or a year, whatever's gonna make you happy,

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Speaker 1: because at the end of the day, it's your responsibility

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Speaker 1: to be happy, and if this guy is doing it

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Speaker 1: Atlanta Mikita. Next, we have a question from Latinicia. Thank you, gas.

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Speaker 1: I have a quick question. So I've been with my

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Speaker 1: husband four or five years, and I've gotten to a

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Speaker 1: point where i can go a week without having any

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Speaker 1: sexual relationships and I'm fine, Like I don't crave any

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Speaker 1: sexual activities. And I know it's not because I don't

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Speaker 1: love my husband, because I mean I love him. I

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Speaker 1: feel like he's the love of my life. I find

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Speaker 1: him so attractive. I've just gotten to that point where

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Speaker 1: I don't really crave or care for sexual relations chips,

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Speaker 1: and I guess it bothers me because the first years

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Speaker 1: we were together, we would literally have sex like every day, NonStop.

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Speaker 1: And it makes me feel bad because I feel like

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Speaker 1: doing that. I don't want to be with you. I'm

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Speaker 1: not attracted to you vibes. I just need some advice

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Speaker 1: or some recommendations, And again, thank you very much for listening.

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Speaker 1: Let the Sea. First of all, I want to tell

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Speaker 1: you not to feel bad for what you're feeling. As women,

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Speaker 1: we have so much pressure from the world, from society,

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Speaker 1: our hormones. That's one thing. I don't know how old

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Speaker 1: you are, but I'm telling you from personal experiences that

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Speaker 1: I have also gone through that where I'm okay without

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Speaker 1: having sex for a while. And it's because as women,

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Speaker 1: we creve a different type of intimacy with our partner.

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Speaker 1: We're okay with laying with them in bed and watching

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Speaker 1: a movie that makes us happy, that fulfills us, and

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Speaker 1: a guy would It's different, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: So that's where we have to kind of find the balance.

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Speaker 1: When I started getting hormone therapy. I was very deficient

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Speaker 1: into sasterone. So as soon as I started getting that,

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Speaker 1: I started kind of balancing that out and creating sex

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Speaker 1: a little bit more and you know, t m I

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Speaker 1: but getting a little bit more wet down there. You know.

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Speaker 1: It has a lot to do with age, It has

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Speaker 1: a lot to do with hormones. Again, I mean it's

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Speaker 1: a lot being a woman and cleaning the house, and

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Speaker 1: I mean sometimes we're just tired. But my recommendation is

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Speaker 1: getting your hormones check. That can also help very much. Also,

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Speaker 1: relationships change dimple. You know, like you guys said, you

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Speaker 1: had a lot of sex in the beginning, and then

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Speaker 1: just with time, we do get a little bit comfortable

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Speaker 1: in our relationship. And that could be a good thing,

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Speaker 1: and it can also be a bad thing. So I

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Speaker 1: think what you should do is maybe try new things.

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Speaker 1: Because a man does need sex way more often than

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Speaker 1: as women, And if you want to be happy in

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Speaker 1: that relationship, I think it's important for you and for

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Speaker 1: it to be long lasting, to communicate that with your

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Speaker 1: partner and find different things. Maybe implement of librator. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: like that's one thing I started doing it and I

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Speaker 1: really enjoy it, and so does he try new things,

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Speaker 1: go to the sex store together. I mean there's like

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Speaker 1: cool like lubricants. I see this how that you could

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Speaker 1: put places and he can lick and you can lick.

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Speaker 1: And I think it's just being open and saying, hey,

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Speaker 1: something's going on here, let me go get this checked.

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Speaker 1: But also what can we do different? You know what

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Speaker 1: I mean? So, girl, you're not the only one. I

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Speaker 1: think a lot of women are going to understand you

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Speaker 1: on this one. So don't feel bad, and I am

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Speaker 1: sending you sexy sexual vibes mama. Up next, we have

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Speaker 1: a question that was submitted anonymously. My producers tell me

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Speaker 1: it's a question that deals with sexual abuse. So I

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Speaker 1: just want to let you guys know in case it's triggering,

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Speaker 1: we're going to press play and get into the question now. Hi, chikys.

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Speaker 1: I was just wondering, how is it that you were

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Speaker 1: able to get over the sexual abuse and your sister

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Speaker 1: and your aunt, just because I went through it and

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Speaker 1: I'm doing fine. And my two little girls also, the

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Speaker 1: youngest one is having a lot of problems. I'm to

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Speaker 1: put on. I don't know what to do. She gets

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Speaker 1: so much anxiety depression. I don't know how to help her.

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Speaker 1: Can you help me? What did you do? How to

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Speaker 1: do it? We tried therapy, we've tried church, We've tried

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Speaker 1: so many things, and it just it hasn't worked. And

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Speaker 1: I know she has to want it, and that's the thing.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if she wants it. Man, Guys, this

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Speaker 1: is a subject that is very important to me because

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Speaker 1: of what I've gone through, you know, being sexually abused

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Speaker 1: by my dad, and it happens a lot more often

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Speaker 1: than than we know, and that's why it's so important.

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Speaker 1: This is just my opinion for you to speak to

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Speaker 1: your children about sex and about their body parts early

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Speaker 1: on so that we can catch this, you know, sooner

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Speaker 1: rather than later. Look, I think it's difficult because I

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Speaker 1: think what really helped me was the fact that my

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Speaker 1: mom supported me and never questioned me. She believed me

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Speaker 1: right away. And I'm glad that she has you your daughter,

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Speaker 1: both your daughters, and I'm so sorry first about it.

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Speaker 1: To hear about this. It's not something that that's easy

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Speaker 1: and it's going to take some time to heal. It's

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Speaker 1: going to be something as as you know, because you

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Speaker 1: also went through it. It's something that you start just

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Speaker 1: getting used to living with, you know. And I think

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Speaker 1: would help me was because I did church and it

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Speaker 1: helped me, but I also kind of felt dirty in

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Speaker 1: a way for a long time, less valuable for a

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Speaker 1: long time. And I think as you get older, you

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Speaker 1: start realizing, Okay, if God quote unquote allowed this to

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Speaker 1: happen to me, it's because I can be a voice

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Speaker 1: for other people. I can help other people. I think,

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Speaker 1: maybe try going the route of this happened. And that's

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Speaker 1: one thing my mom did. She never allowed me to

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Speaker 1: victimize myself or feel sorry for myself for what had happened.

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Speaker 1: She was always like, Okay, this happened. We got to

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Speaker 1: move on. Only God knows why. And you can be

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Speaker 1: a voice in this world and help other people that

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Speaker 1: have gone through it. And that changed everything for me.

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Speaker 1: And I think if you speak to your daughter in

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Speaker 1: that way and say, okay, like maybe you can become

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Speaker 1: a psychologist to help other people through this. When you

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Speaker 1: turn your pain and what you went through into a

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Speaker 1: way of helping other people, it makes you feel a

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Speaker 1: little bit better about what you went through. So that's

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Speaker 1: what helped me. That's one of the things that just changed.

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Speaker 1: My entire perspective was Okay, this happened. Now, how can

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Speaker 1: I help other people? I don't know how old your

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Speaker 1: daughter is. I wish I can give her a hug

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Speaker 1: and speak to her and and and I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I would love to do that. But that's

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Speaker 1: the best advice I can give you. If you guys,

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Speaker 1: keep with therapy. It's very important. Therapy for me is

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Speaker 1: like one of the biggest I'm a huge advocate for it.

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Speaker 1: For therapy. So the more she does life coaching as

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Speaker 1: well as she gets older, but I think try speaking

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Speaker 1: to her in that way. You know, how are we

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Speaker 1: going to help other people? What are we going to do,

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Speaker 1: even if it's in our small community, it's them And

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Speaker 1: I hope, I hope that helps. I'm sending you all

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Speaker 1: a big hug and thank you for your question and

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Speaker 1: for being vulnerable and sharing that with with me, with us,

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Speaker 1: And yeah, hopefully I can meet your daughter and give

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Speaker 1: her a hug. Thank you so much for your question,

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Speaker 1: and you guys, thank you so much for these questions.

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Speaker 1: A reminder to all my listeners that these are my

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Speaker 1: thoughts and opinions on the questions that you are submitting.

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Speaker 1: I encourage everyone to seek help from a professional if

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Speaker 1: you're suffering an issue or hardship that requires immediate attention.

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Speaker 1: You can submit your questions at speak pipe dot com,

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Speaker 1: slash Cheek Ease, and Chill podcast and you might just

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Speaker 1: hear it on this podcast. Dear Chickie is a production

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Speaker 1: of I Heart's Michael durap podcast Network. For more of

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Speaker 1: your favorite shows, visit Michael dura podcast dot com and

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Speaker 1: follow us on YouTube. Thanks again, guys, Lismando, which risks