Speaker 1: Episode four fifty four, How to Say No to Impulse Purchases.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
Speaker 1: save money, embrace simplicity, and liver your life.
Speaker 2: Here your hosts Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my
Speaker 1: name is Jill, and today we are taking a slight
Speaker 1: departure from our normal format where we cover the internet's
Speaker 1: most not reliable, but most obvious answers to our questions
Speaker 1: about spending money in personal finance, and we are sharing
Speaker 1: our own opinions, which may not be podcasts most accurate,
Speaker 1: but it is the most in your face just like Google,
Speaker 1: it's the most readily available answers to questions you may
Speaker 1: or may not have had.
Speaker 3: There are times where we think we have the best
Speaker 3: things to say on any given topic, like this one
Speaker 3: impulse purchases. We talk about it a ton in our
Speaker 3: upcoming book by What You Love Without Going Broke, and
Speaker 3: we've talked about it a ton on the podcast. So
Speaker 3: we feel as though it's time to do our own
Speaker 3: dedicated episode about saying no to impulse purchases. But first,
Speaker 3: this episode is brought to you by Easy Yes. Is
Speaker 3: like when someone offers you a free hot dog, or
Speaker 3: to clean your floors, or a lifetime supply of gum.
Speaker 3: There are just some things in life that we can
Speaker 3: respond to with an instant, emphatic yes, like ordering our
Speaker 3: book By What you Love Without Going Broke. The title
Speaker 3: is a banger, the content is fire. The authors are
Speaker 3: slightly unhinged but completely trustworthy. So when we tell you
Speaker 3: to stop what you're doing and pre order Buy What
Speaker 3: you Love Without Going Broke at buywoulovebook dot com, we
Speaker 3: know it's an easy Yeah. Yes, you won't regret this decision.
Speaker 3: Come January, when you're ready to set yourself up for
Speaker 3: financial success in twenty twenty five, and you've got this
Speaker 3: puppy in your hands again by what you Love book
Speaker 3: dot com.
Speaker 1: Yes, don't wait, do it now, Do it now, four
Speaker 1: before the holidays get you feeling discouraged.
Speaker 3: And before you hear all of our tips about how
Speaker 3: to say no to impulse spending, make this impulse purchased
Speaker 3: and then say no to the rest.
Speaker 1: So true the book will help you say no to
Speaker 1: so many impulse purchases. It will literally pay for itself.
Speaker 1: I think it will also help you save money on
Speaker 1: some huge expenses and it will pay for itself ten
Speaker 1: maybe a thousand times over. It's only twenty five dollars,
Speaker 1: so it's very likely some of the tips in here
Speaker 1: could save you money a thousand times over. I'm not lying,
Speaker 1: I'm not over inflating it. I really do believe that.
Speaker 1: So buy what you loovebook dot Com and Impulse Bedding.
Speaker 1: Let's get down to it. We asked you guys about
Speaker 1: it in the friend Letter that is our three time
Speaker 1: weekly newsletter where we share freebies and saving tips and
Speaker 1: even excerpts from the book, excerpts about values based spending,
Speaker 1: and we ask you one, are you most likely to
Speaker 1: impulse by late night on the phone, in person at
Speaker 1: the store, when you're with other people, when you're stressed,
Speaker 1: other and y'all had some interesting answers, but it was
Speaker 1: a very evenly space between all of these options when
Speaker 1: I'm stressed or excited, edged out slightly, but like, really,
Speaker 1: everyone struggles with impulse spending for a different reason. I
Speaker 1: would say, even the people if I was taking the poll,
Speaker 1: which I didn't because I would skew it my one answer.
Speaker 1: If I took the poll, I could answer all of these.
Speaker 1: So I'm sure, we're definitely going to cover all four
Speaker 1: of these options, but only six people chose other and uh,
Speaker 1: we don't know what any of those responses are.
Speaker 3: Did they not elaborate?
Speaker 1: No, But so many people like it's not just in store,
Speaker 1: sometimes it's online. Some people do it, you know, with
Speaker 1: other people, some people do more alone. Like it just
Speaker 1: runs the gamut. So we're going to cover all of
Speaker 1: it today because we cover all of it in our
Speaker 1: book and this is just gonna be a fun little teaser.
Speaker 1: We also have other episodes about impulse shopping to queue
Speaker 1: up after this. We've got episode four oh eight What
Speaker 1: Happens when You Stop Impulse Shopping, and then episode three
Speaker 1: fifty one Impulse Buying What it is and how to Stop.
Speaker 1: So those episodes we do cover some articles on the
Speaker 1: internet and we have some spicy tape. It might be
Speaker 1: interested in queueing them up after this.
Speaker 3: So we want to go through again something that we
Speaker 3: talk about in the book by What we Love without
Speaker 3: Going Broke is the top five reasons that we impulse by,
Speaker 3: and we want to rattle those off to you all
Speaker 3: today in this podcast episode, but also pair that with
Speaker 3: ways that we can choose differently. So wherever you find
Speaker 3: yourself in that kind of questionnaire, or as we talk
Speaker 3: about these reasons that we impulse by identifying which one's
Speaker 3: your impulse buying kind of kryptonite, which one are you
Speaker 3: most drawn to, and what can you do as a result.
Speaker 3: I love something that you've said Jen quite a bit
Speaker 3: in the past, just to start the episode off, is
Speaker 3: we all do it, and our friend letter poll proves
Speaker 3: that we all impulse by maybe some of us more
Speaker 3: than others, but it happens to all of us. And
Speaker 3: I think it's important to recognize that there is a
Speaker 3: reason behind our impulse buying, and there's a reason that
Speaker 3: is not easy to just stop, even though we might
Speaker 3: not feel great about the purchase afterward, or there might
Speaker 3: be some guilt attached to it, or we wish that
Speaker 3: we could put money towards these other goals that we have,
Speaker 3: but instead we find ourselves just one click buying or
Speaker 3: filling our cart with more than what was on our
Speaker 3: shopping list. And I think to recognize that it's not
Speaker 3: because oh, we're so weak or we're too easily influenced.
Speaker 3: There's a whole lot going on behind the scenes when
Speaker 3: it comes to marketing and advertising that is playing into
Speaker 3: the ways that our brains are wired. How we think
Speaker 3: about things are cognitive biases, which we'll get a little
Speaker 3: bit more into that as we go along, But it's
Speaker 3: worth noting at the top of this episode that there's
Speaker 3: nothing wrong with you if impulse buy, it's very normal.
Speaker 3: We probably will not be able to stop impulse buying
Speaker 3: all together. But the more we can equip ourselves with
Speaker 3: the knowledge and information around why it happens, the ways
Speaker 3: in which we're prone to impulse by, the better able
Speaker 3: we are to interrupt it, choose something differently, and feel
Speaker 3: a lot more confident about the ways that we're managing
Speaker 3: our money exactly.
Speaker 1: So, the first type, the first root cause of impulse
Speaker 1: spending that we talk about in the book is one
Speaker 1: that I think is kind of I think it is
Speaker 1: the ultimate way that a lot of us impulse spend,
Speaker 1: and understanding this one actually helps us with all the
Speaker 1: other ones. And it's habit spending, because so often I
Speaker 1: have found that even in talking about impulse spending and
Speaker 1: talking about overconsumption, day after day after day, I still
Speaker 1: fall prey to I will I will go to Starbucks
Speaker 1: and do a drive through like treat for my son,
Speaker 1: and then maybe just do another treat next week, and
Speaker 1: then maybe the next week, maybe I do one with him,
Speaker 1: and maybe I do just one with me, And it
Speaker 1: slowly kind of spirals from this special thing I was
Speaker 1: doing with my son to a habit of ending up
Speaker 1: in the drive through. And so mine is usually coffee,
Speaker 1: but like it could be anything, it could be escaping
Speaker 1: to target or you know, anytime there's a sale, like
Speaker 1: there's there's so many things, and we'll talk about these
Speaker 1: roots of impulse spending, but ultimately, if we first understand
Speaker 1: habits and habit spending, then we can better understand how
Speaker 1: each of these other roots evolve. And so a lot
Speaker 1: of you have heard of the habit Luke. We have
Speaker 1: talked about it so much on this podcast, and we
Speaker 1: love there's two I think two main kind of theories
Speaker 1: in the habit loop. So Q craving response reward is
Speaker 1: the typical one, but then you could also just Q
Speaker 1: Q craving reward, and so it doesn't matter which one
Speaker 1: you look at. Honestly, I think if you just look
Speaker 1: at the Q, we know the craving the response to
Speaker 1: the reward. Because we're talking about spending. I think we
Speaker 1: just have to look at the Q so don't make
Speaker 1: it super complicated. That's where the ninety day transaction inventory
Speaker 1: comes in. And when you put all of your past
Speaker 1: transactions out on the table, on the spreadsheet wherever you
Speaker 1: have it, and you're looking for patterns, you're looking for
Speaker 1: the queues are specifically what you are looking for. So
Speaker 1: if you are making a lot of coffee purchases at
Speaker 1: a certain time of day, like on your way to work,
Speaker 1: that could be location. It could be preceding event leaving
Speaker 1: your house, it could be time of day morning. You'll
Speaker 1: find that usually these purchases won't just have one trigger,
Speaker 1: won't have just one queue, but you need to identify
Speaker 1: at least one queue for each of the patterns so
Speaker 1: that you can start to say, Okay, the pattern is
Speaker 1: I leave my house to go to work and I
Speaker 1: stop at Starbucks on the way. I obviously cannot change
Speaker 1: the location because that would involve changing either my house
Speaker 1: or my work.
Speaker 2: Can't touch that.
Speaker 1: I can't change the time of day because I go,
Speaker 1: or the preceding event, So I you know what can
Speaker 1: I can? I can't change the time of day, but
Speaker 1: I can change the preceding event, which is I can
Speaker 1: I can make coffee at home and take it with me.
Speaker 1: So a lot of the times we will say like,
Speaker 1: I can't change because I can't change where I work,
Speaker 1: I can't change where I live, I can't change the
Speaker 1: time to day. But there's usually one trigger of the
Speaker 1: many that can be interrupted. I know that was a
Speaker 1: long ramble, I'm so sorry, or the.
Speaker 3: Route that you take to work. And I know A
Speaker 3: huge pushback on this too is oh, cutting out coffee
Speaker 3: is not going to make a huge difference in my finances,
Speaker 3: And we don't disagree. I think it's just an easy
Speaker 3: example of something that could be habit spending. But it
Speaker 3: also is you know, what could seven to ten dollars
Speaker 3: a day mean to other financial goals or other things
Speaker 3: that you would want to purchase. So I still think
Speaker 3: it's worth looking at, but also recognize that that habit
Speaker 3: spending can happen even apart from a coffee example, but
Speaker 3: recognizing whether or not it's something that's happening just out
Speaker 3: out of it's just what you're accustomed to doing, versus
Speaker 3: intentional choices that are being made. The second most common
Speaker 3: reason that we impulse by is shopping as an activity
Speaker 3: this one, for me is one of my kryptonites personally.
Speaker 3: I grew up going to the mall on the weekends
Speaker 3: for fun, when I'm together with friends or my mom,
Speaker 3: just going to a store window shopping as we often
Speaker 3: call it. But we are always going into the stores
Speaker 3: and walking around and usually buying something, allowing the shelves
Speaker 3: and the racks to inform us on what we want
Speaker 3: to spend our money on that day, not really going
Speaker 3: in with a list, it's just something to do that
Speaker 3: afternoon or that weekend. And so I think, what can
Speaker 3: happen here in shifting If this is your circumstances. If
Speaker 3: you're finding yourself just at the store but no list
Speaker 3: in hand, no real reason to be there, you just
Speaker 3: don't know what else to do, it's worthwhile to list
Speaker 3: out what could be some alternative activities, because with any
Speaker 3: of these that we're talking about, the way to say
Speaker 3: no to impulse purchases is not simply to stop and
Speaker 3: say no. It's to find replacements. It's to find alternatives.
Speaker 3: We have to give ourselves something else to do, a
Speaker 3: way to value whatever needs are going on for us,
Speaker 3: and not just deprive ourselves. So I'm not saying don't
Speaker 3: go shopping, just stay at home instead. It could be
Speaker 3: are there people that you could get together with, could
Speaker 3: you pick up a new hobby, could you do something
Speaker 3: that's been on your to do list for a while,
Speaker 3: and go shopping when you have a list. Right, Eventually,
Speaker 3: we do spend money, and we can spend it intentionally,
Speaker 3: but it doesn't have to be the thing that is
Speaker 3: how we're entertaining ourselves and buying things that we don't
Speaker 3: actually need, we weren't planning to purchase, and doesn't really
Speaker 3: make us feel great after we've bought it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and shopping as an activity becomes habit. And one
Speaker 1: of the big things about that we talk about in
Speaker 1: frugality is cultivating creativity. And without borders, without limits, you
Speaker 1: don't have any incentive to be creative with how you
Speaker 1: spend your time, how you spend your money, and when
Speaker 1: you give yourself these you know these barriers, you can
Speaker 1: get creative. So there are so many activities you won't
Speaker 1: like them all right, they're not all for you, but
Speaker 1: you don't know the ones that are for you until
Speaker 1: you try a lot that are not for you. So
Speaker 1: getting creative with your activities, how you spend time with
Speaker 1: friends is an integral part of frugality and values based spending.
Speaker 2: Next, this was the.
Speaker 1: Number one thing people said they impulse spot for is
Speaker 1: stress shopping. But we actually think that it's just emotional shopping.
Speaker 1: It's every emotion, so sad, happy, celebratory, lamenting, Like we
Speaker 1: will shop for every perceivable emotion, it's just the primary
Speaker 1: one that we shop for is when we're stressed. And
Speaker 1: I feel that so intensely, I will, I will, I
Speaker 1: will try to get off of social media because I
Speaker 1: will stress scroll, and then social media will make me stressed,
Speaker 1: so I'll get off of it. And then where do
Speaker 1: I go? I for some reason, I will open up
Speaker 1: Amazon and I'll stress scroll Amazon after my child screams
Speaker 1: about me turning off Minecraft for the three hundred and
Speaker 1: sixty eighth day in a row. So like, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: just a mindless way to dissociate and regain control over
Speaker 1: situations that I feel like I have very little control over.
Speaker 1: And so the combat to that would be just having
Speaker 1: a list of alternatives to feel to do when I
Speaker 1: feel different emotions, and so addressing not even needing to
Speaker 1: address the emotion head on, but to address that coping
Speaker 1: mechanism head on is to just create a healthier coping mechanism.
Speaker 1: So and the key to this is having different sizes
Speaker 1: of activities of coping mechanisms. So when I'm scrolling Amazon
Speaker 1: in my bed and I'm stressed, the solution is not
Speaker 1: to get up and go for a run. Though exercise
Speaker 1: and meditation are super helpful in relieving stress, I would
Speaker 1: not get up and go for a run at that time.
Speaker 1: I might try meditating more often than not. I'm going
Speaker 1: to like recheck myself and be like, okay, I have
Speaker 1: to stop scrolling. I'm going to turn on a phone game,
Speaker 1: and my go to is Solitaire, so I'll do that.
Speaker 1: But in a perfect world, the most ideal solutions are
Speaker 1: either exercise or meditation, and I should probably meditate more.
Speaker 1: If you are stronger than I am, that is what
Speaker 1: I would recommend to you. And if you're like me,
Speaker 1: I would say pick up Solitaire. It's the only child's
Speaker 1: favorite phone game. If my trigger is going to target
Speaker 1: when I'm stressed, then that's kind of like a medium
Speaker 1: sized so that in that case, maybe trying a walk
Speaker 1: or going outside in nature or something that's going to
Speaker 1: give you a dopamine rush, similar to shopping, but in
Speaker 1: a different way for a different price. And then there's
Speaker 1: bigger things like shopping as an activity if we're stressed
Speaker 1: and we're calling the girls and like let's go out
Speaker 1: on the town. I'm feeling stressed, I just want to
Speaker 1: buy dranks, creating a different big coping mechanism to where
Speaker 1: you're gathering the girls and we're walking. We're just we're
Speaker 1: going for a walk or we're doing something. So having
Speaker 1: those different sizes again a lot of trial and error
Speaker 1: to see what's going to work for you, but that's
Speaker 1: an important distinction to have when you're trying to combat
Speaker 1: the stress shopping.
Speaker 3: Another type of list that you could have is identifying
Speaker 3: what might work for you when feeling different emotions, So
Speaker 3: literally having a written out list of when I'm happy,
Speaker 3: what do I want to be engaging in when I'm sad?
Speaker 3: Are some things that I can do to care for
Speaker 3: myself when just listing out common emotions you've felt within
Speaker 3: the last week and activities that you could do that
Speaker 3: are free when you're feeling that way. And this is
Speaker 3: something that you can absolutely use the Internet to help
Speaker 3: you come up with a list, and like Jen mentioned earlier,
Speaker 3: not all of them are going to work for you.
Speaker 3: Some of them you'll try on for size and they
Speaker 3: don't fit, and you can throw that one out. But eventually,
Speaker 3: refining this list of here's what I can do when
Speaker 3: I'm feeling this way and then that way, we can
Speaker 3: know we are meeting the need. We're addressing the emotion
Speaker 3: with something that's actually going to work, rather than slapping
Speaker 3: a purchase onto something and it usually doesn't actually fulfill
Speaker 3: whatever it is that we're looking for. The fourth reason
Speaker 3: that many of us impulse shop is social influence. This
Speaker 3: is both the people around us, our community, our friends,
Speaker 3: our neighbors, as well as the people that we follow online.
Speaker 3: So there's a lot of opportunity for impulse purchasing when
Speaker 3: it comes to who it is that we follow, who
Speaker 3: it is that we hang out with. When we see
Speaker 3: other people having something or recommending something, or seemingly making
Speaker 3: their lives better or more efficient, or giving us a
Speaker 3: sense of if we had that thing, maybe we would
Speaker 3: fit in. There'd be belonging community happening. As a result,
Speaker 3: it can really influence us to want to buy that
Speaker 3: thing again. From following people online and getting to know
Speaker 3: someone's personality, what it is that they're doing, and trusting
Speaker 3: their recommendations of skincare products, kitchen appliances. I mean, people
Speaker 3: are selling clothing, people are selling everything online. And so
Speaker 3: when we feel like we are connecting with someone on
Speaker 3: Instagram or Facebook and they're talking about what it is
Speaker 3: that they that they recommend, we are more likely to
Speaker 3: want that item because there's this cognitive bias of social
Speaker 3: proof that I like them, I trust them. They seem
Speaker 3: to like this thing. It's working for them. I want
Speaker 3: to try it out. Maybe it'll work for me. And
Speaker 3: those thoughts aren't even necessarily happening in the way that
Speaker 3: I'm saying them out loud. We sometimes don't even know
Speaker 3: all that goes into our purchase. We don't realize that
Speaker 3: it's because we trust them, we like them. We think
Speaker 3: it'll solve our desire for belonging and self fulfillment. Our
Speaker 3: brains just cut too. If I get yes, I want
Speaker 3: that thing, I'm going to one click by it, and
Speaker 3: that's the impulsiveness of it. Or we're at a friend's
Speaker 3: house and they've got the latest type of appliance, rug
Speaker 3: even cleaning products. My goodness, and now I think I
Speaker 3: have to do that. If I buy that, then maybe
Speaker 3: my house will be clean. If I buy that, maybe
Speaker 3: my home will look as aesthetic as this place. Who
Speaker 3: knows what it is that that might be connecting with you.
Speaker 3: But the people that we're around play a massive role,
Speaker 3: and so there's not much we can do about this
Speaker 3: because we desire belonging and community and that's a very
Speaker 3: good thing. So we don't want to cut out people.
Speaker 3: But being aware of the ways in which the people
Speaker 3: were around are influencing us. And this can be as
Speaker 3: simple as creating a pause before our purchases. So whether
Speaker 3: that's just asking ourselves a few simple questions of what
Speaker 3: is behind me wanting to buy this thing? What problem
Speaker 3: that I'm experiencing? Do I think that this will solve
Speaker 3: for me? Can help in identifying is this actually something
Speaker 3: that I want to do. Some other things that I've
Speaker 3: found helpful is creating a life of the things that
Speaker 3: I want to purchase. So if I do see somebody
Speaker 3: selling something on Instagram, or a friend just got something,
Speaker 3: or a neighbor's got a new gadget, I'll write it
Speaker 3: down because it's good to value the need that is
Speaker 3: arising the desire that's arising and put that energy somewhere,
Speaker 3: But it doesn't mean that we need to use our
Speaker 3: energy by buying the thing. We can put space in
Speaker 3: between it. Create a list I keep it in my
Speaker 3: notes app on my phone of here's something that I
Speaker 3: want to purchase, want to buy this, want to get this.
Speaker 3: So then when it comes time to maybe I am
Speaker 3: out at the store, I'm running errands, I can look
Speaker 3: at that list and identify is this something that I
Speaker 3: still want? Have I lived life without it long enough
Speaker 3: that I'm actually okay without it? The initial desire for
Speaker 3: it has gone, and I'm okay without purchasing this. Can
Speaker 3: I make this myself? Can I fix the problem with
Speaker 3: things that I already have? Can I buy by this secondhand?
Speaker 3: These are kind of the questions that I run through
Speaker 3: before I'll end up purchasing something new. And finally, I
Speaker 3: would recommend at least when it comes to who we're
Speaker 3: following online, that could use a little bit of an
Speaker 3: inventory and potentially an overhaul. If you're noticing that there's
Speaker 3: particular people that you're following on social media who are
Speaker 3: leading you to your most common impulse buys, maybe stop
Speaker 3: following them for a little bit or hide their profile,
Speaker 3: find people to follow that are going to encourage you
Speaker 3: towards your goals. I think social media is a lovely
Speaker 3: tool if we can curate it for ourselves in a
Speaker 3: way that's going to be helpful for us. So following
Speaker 3: people who are going to get as excited about cooking
Speaker 3: at home or hosting in our home on a budget,
Speaker 3: or hanging out with friends free ideas. All of these
Speaker 3: accounts exist, and we can be following these people that
Speaker 3: are supporting and encouraging us towards our goals rather than
Speaker 3: depleting our energy, our emotions, our finances.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the cleaning thing was so personally attacking to me
Speaker 1: because I have definitely in my disdain for cleaning. I
Speaker 1: hate cleaning, and so I am looking always for things
Speaker 1: to make it easier. But the only thing that makes
Speaker 1: it easier is doing it more frequently and shorter spurts.
Speaker 1: And so it's a habit change that's the root cause
Speaker 1: of my disdain for it. And I'm trying to buy
Speaker 1: the solution to a problem whose solution is not purchasable,
Speaker 1: or whose best solution is not purchased. It is a
Speaker 1: It's a sorry, not a sorry. Excuse, but it is
Speaker 1: a lesser excuse for the true solution.
Speaker 3: So it's yeah, yeah, will procress to spend. We'll spend
Speaker 3: on the cleaning products because we think that's what's going
Speaker 3: to make our house clean. We'll spend on all the
Speaker 3: exercise gear and equipment because we think that's what's going
Speaker 3: to get us to be exercising. We'll spend on the
Speaker 3: journals so that we can start gratitude journaling, when in reality,
Speaker 3: we already have these things at our disposal. We already
Speaker 3: have at least soap and water and a rag at home.
Speaker 3: We already have clothes we can wear to exercise, and
Speaker 3: old ready tennis shoes if need be. We already have
Speaker 3: paper and pen or even something digital that we can
Speaker 3: be journaling with. But instead we'll go and buy the things,
Speaker 3: thinking that purchasing the item is going to get us
Speaker 3: closer to that goal, when really taking the steps towards
Speaker 3: that goal is what we need to be doing first.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's hard to hear that.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I'm saying it to myself too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so we're going to move on because I don't
Speaker 1: want to hear it. So the last one that I
Speaker 1: actually love talking about one of the biggest reasons, and
Speaker 1: this one's coming up with the holidays, is the thrill
Speaker 1: of the hunt. We love hunting, and this comes from
Speaker 1: somebody who does not love camping. I don't love thrifting
Speaker 1: like hunting for things that I can, you know, But
Speaker 1: I still feel a rush when I get a good
Speaker 1: deal on something, especially if it was something I was
Speaker 1: going to buy anyways. And that feeling is capitalized on
Speaker 1: by companies because they want to give you a deal
Speaker 1: on something you are going to buy in the hopes
Speaker 1: of bringing you in because it is very likely you'll
Speaker 1: add something to your cart that you weren't going to buy,
Speaker 1: but you will because it's on sale. That is the
Speaker 1: goal of sales, not to get you a deal. But
Speaker 1: we love the thrill of the hunt, and so how
Speaker 1: do we fulfill that specially, I mean, especially if you're
Speaker 1: like me and I don't. I don't love other hunts.
Speaker 1: So how do you fulfill that without spending unnecessarily? So
Speaker 1: hunt something different? The most dangerous game goals that I
Speaker 1: really wanted to put that in book. Spoiler it did
Speaker 1: not make That line did not make the in the book.
Speaker 1: But I really wanted to talk about hunting the most
Speaker 1: dangerous game anyways, goals. I think a lot of the
Speaker 1: thrill that I can get now is hunting some kind
Speaker 1: of goal, and not big goals, but maybe smaller goals
Speaker 1: and focusing on those. So, like I for the last
Speaker 1: six weeks, I've been tracking my eating and that's been
Speaker 1: a goal of mine, is to be more intentional with
Speaker 1: tracking what I eat and making little changes to kind
Speaker 1: of make healthier choices. So I haven't eaten out like
Speaker 1: at all in the last six weeks except when we've
Speaker 1: been out of town, but when we have been home,
Speaker 1: we have eaten in like every night. It's been It's
Speaker 1: it's been insane for me because I don't love cooking.
Speaker 1: I hate dishes, and I'm always looking for inex used
Speaker 1: to get out like and eat and it's just been
Speaker 1: like mind blowing to me with this little like chase
Speaker 1: that I've been doing to like track and like stay
Speaker 1: on track has been doing for other things financially for me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the thrill of the hunt remains for me absolutely,
Speaker 3: and I think that's one of those things we don't
Speaker 3: have to entirely weed out, this desire to hunt for
Speaker 3: a good deal. I think that's part of the best
Speaker 3: fit of that this particular propensity is there can be
Speaker 3: a lot more research that goes into your purchases and
Speaker 3: potentially a lot more thought around it. So we can
Speaker 3: certainly leverage this to our benefit in looking for the
Speaker 3: best deal, the best way that you can solve for
Speaker 3: this issue or problem that you're having without spending a
Speaker 3: ton of money. So I think that this one can
Speaker 3: can work in our favor. But also recognizing that there
Speaker 3: are other things that we can replace here, like you
Speaker 3: mentioned the new goal, Yeah, reading a book, trying out
Speaker 3: a new hobby. I think there's so many things that
Speaker 3: we can do that fit into that thing that many
Speaker 3: of us have where we want to dig, we want
Speaker 3: to search, we want to problem solve, and it doesn't
Speaker 3: have to mean that we're buying something we didn't intend to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it sounds so silly, try another hobby, do this, like,
Speaker 1: but it is so effective and just trying until you
Speaker 1: get something that fits is it increases your creativity and
Speaker 1: it makes you feel so good. It don't increase your confidence.
Speaker 1: And so we talk about that stuff. And like some
Speaker 1: other things in the book that are peripheral to these five,
Speaker 1: like cognitive biases and so again you'll have to check
Speaker 1: out the book and buy what you loovebook dot com
Speaker 1: to get the rest of it.
Speaker 3: And the thing that has been most helpful for me
Speaker 3: speaking of the peripheral stuff is the marketing tactics. I
Speaker 3: think when we were researching for that and writing about that,
Speaker 3: it was so illuminating and really helped to equip me
Speaker 3: with knowledge and awareness to be more mindful and intentional
Speaker 3: when I'm spending where now I can identify, oh, this
Speaker 3: marketing tactic is at play here, I can be a
Speaker 3: little bit more judicious about the ways that I'm thinking
Speaker 3: about how I want to spend my money, and knowledgeable
Speaker 3: about what's happening. What are the ways that they're trying
Speaker 3: to utilize my cognitive biases, which can be really great
Speaker 3: and helpful in some scenarios against me in this situation,
Speaker 3: to make me spend money that I didn't want to.
Speaker 3: So another peripheral topic that I think is so so
Speaker 3: helpful if you want to be equipped even more on
Speaker 3: this type of thing, how to say no to impulse
Speaker 3: purchases again by what you loovebook dot com. But you
Speaker 3: know what makes us equipped every single episode with just
Speaker 3: the best tips and randomness.
Speaker 2: And you don't have to wait for this.
Speaker 3: The bill of the week.
Speaker 1: That's right, it's time for the best minute of your
Speaker 1: entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name
Speaker 1: is Williams. Maybe you paid off your mortgage. Maybe your
Speaker 1: car died and you're happy to not have to pay
Speaker 1: that bill anymore. Such bills, butffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this
Speaker 1: is the bill of the week.
Speaker 2: Hi, Jenn and Jill.
Speaker 4: This is Friend Letter writer Kim, and I'm recording my
Speaker 4: Bill of the week about the Renaissance Fare. My partner
Speaker 4: wanted to go because he has never gone before for
Speaker 4: his birthday, and while we were there, we got engaged,
Speaker 4: and I wanted you guys to know danks have a
Speaker 4: great weekend.
Speaker 1: We are both clearly finding out about this at the
Speaker 1: same time.
Speaker 2: Sachell's face.
Speaker 1: Congratulations, Kim, yay kay way.
Speaker 3: Yeah. We make our own sound effects over here.
Speaker 1: I don't know what sound effects are at the Renaissance
Speaker 1: Spare or I would do them, but clink up. It's
Speaker 1: swords clinging together in celebration.
Speaker 3: That too, oh Kim, how exciting?
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So, Kim is one of our writers for the Friend Letter,
Speaker 3: which we mentioned at the top of the episode is
Speaker 3: where we all we send out freebies and savings tips,
Speaker 3: how to spend more mindfully and in values based alignment,
Speaker 3: and even excerpts from the book, and Kim helps us
Speaker 3: to write those. Every week we give three free friend
Speaker 3: letter emails a week and Kim is an awesome one.
Speaker 3: She's got the same kind of wit and style that
Speaker 3: we do and lots of fun memes in these friend
Speaker 3: letters and it's where we pull you where we talk
Speaker 3: about the polls in these episodes. So if you want
Speaker 3: to get that friend letter, Frugal Friends podcast dot com.
Speaker 3: But Kim is just a valued part of our team
Speaker 3: and we knew that you were getting serious in this relationship.
Speaker 3: But my goodness, this is so very exciting. Congratulations, what
Speaker 3: a great bill. If you all want to submit your bill,
Speaker 3: if it has to do with a renaissance fare or
Speaker 3: getting engaged or getting married or having a baby or
Speaker 3: just out life, if.
Speaker 1: You want to propose as a bill of the week,
Speaker 1: please that would be a dream. That's my dream. Somebody's
Speaker 1: proposing to someone as they're on the bill of the week.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So Frugal Friends Podcast dot com slash bill to
Speaker 3: leave your bill and now it's time for the rush.
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 1: How do you extend grace to yourself after making an
Speaker 1: impulse purchase?
Speaker 3: This is a question.
Speaker 2: It's a deep one. Jill. Can you go first from
Speaker 2: this one? I really want to hear your answer.
Speaker 3: Mine is kind of tongue in cheek, but it's accurate.
Speaker 3: I'm not saying it's the best response or that everyone
Speaker 3: should do this. But if I make an impulse purchase
Speaker 3: and I don't feel good about it, I just return it.
Speaker 3: That's just the truth of it. So I don't know
Speaker 3: if that's exactly extending grace to myself, but it does
Speaker 3: bring me relief. If I'm like, you know what, I
Speaker 3: don't know why I bought this. I don't like it,
Speaker 3: I don't want it. I don't want to go back
Speaker 3: to the store. But that's what's going to happen. I mean,
Speaker 3: maybe not the same exact day, but I'll just throw
Speaker 3: it back in the car with the receipt and it
Speaker 3: gets returned. If it's a purchase from a thrift store
Speaker 3: or or you about what I thought returned or food, yeah,
Speaker 3: or something, I do make sure that I use it.
Speaker 3: I think that's the best way for me to feel
Speaker 3: relief and freedom in it is to say, you know what,
Speaker 3: that's a decision I made. I can learn from it.
Speaker 3: There's the grace in it of letting myself off the hook,
Speaker 3: but logging it so that it can inform future decisions,
Speaker 3: and then using it, whether for myself or if I
Speaker 3: decide I don't actually want this thing, but I know
Speaker 3: someone who could benefit from it, that's always a silver
Speaker 3: lining for me, as if it could be of use
Speaker 3: to somebody else, that's what I do. How about you?
Speaker 1: For me, I something that's very much helped me, uh
Speaker 1: is the non judgmental questions that we talk about in
Speaker 1: chapter two is looking at my spending with neutrality, because
Speaker 1: every purchase has a purpose, including and especially impulse purchases.
Speaker 1: So asking myself non judgmental questions about why I made
Speaker 1: the impulse purchase and then making a plan to make
Speaker 1: a better choice or more I ues aligned choice in
Speaker 1: the future. And that's kind of something I'm doing with this.
Speaker 1: With tracking my food for the past six weeks has
Speaker 1: been because I was eating out more than I liked
Speaker 1: and I was not making it. I was buying something
Speaker 1: that should have lasted me all week and like eating
Speaker 1: it in two days. Sort of thing to the point
Speaker 1: where like Travis would get mad because we were like
Speaker 1: trying to split something, and then I just couldn't help
Speaker 1: myself and I would eat all of it and leave
Speaker 1: nothing for him, and it would be two days, right,
Speaker 1: and so he didn't even have time, and so like now,
Speaker 1: so this has been my solution to that. And yeah,
Speaker 1: just making a plan and looking at it nudjudgmentally.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's good.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I hope this episode helped you to think about
Speaker 1: some of your impulse spending, to think honestly about impulse
Speaker 1: spending in a more holistic way, that there are multiple
Speaker 1: root causes to it and multiple solutions, and in our
Speaker 1: book we even propose an exercise you can do to
Speaker 1: more quickly round out these solutions and come up with them.
Speaker 1: So highly recommend by what you lovebook dot com. Thank
Speaker 1: you for listening. We love reading your kind reviews, especially
Speaker 1: this one for Maya in the Sun It happens to
Speaker 1: be five stars. I love these girls. Practical, relevant, and
Speaker 1: a little weird. This podcast is not only full of
Speaker 1: practical tips and tricks to save money, but full of
Speaker 1: fun and weirdness too. Listening to Jen and Jill is
Speaker 1: like sitting in your back patio on a perfect summer afternoon,
Speaker 1: drinking a margarita with your best girls and talking money.
Speaker 1: They're so purely themselves and it makes them so relatable.
Speaker 1: The topics are almost always relevant to me as a
Speaker 1: woman in her early thirties with no kids, but there's
Speaker 1: something for everyone. The show is really a breath of
Speaker 1: fresh air amid all the stuff or bro dude personal
Speaker 1: finance podcasts that are out there. Jen and Jill are
Speaker 1: girls girls, and I love it.
Speaker 3: Oh my yeah, we are not with you drinking marks.
Speaker 3: I'm feeling that I wish that's where we were right now,
Speaker 3: summer afternoon, drinking a mark, talking money, being relatable about.
Speaker 2: This is the perfect maya thank you.
Speaker 3: It is funny. Eric said, I think your listeners know
Speaker 3: you know you better than you think that they do,
Speaker 3: because I'm like, you know, the podcast is just part
Speaker 3: of me. It's like, no, you really are just yourself.
Speaker 3: I think they they know you and get you and
Speaker 3: your style just who you are a whole lot more
Speaker 3: than well.
Speaker 1: I got an email literally the other day from a
Speaker 1: listener who sent me a picture of her water bottle
Speaker 1: and she's like, I thought about your new shirt that
Speaker 1: you just got that says support local libraries. And so
Speaker 1: she got a sticker from her local library. I think
Speaker 1: it said like like I love the Wisconsin Library or
Speaker 1: Wisconsin Library loves me or something.
Speaker 2: It was right under our fruiting frodare.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I was like, you know me, I'm a
Speaker 1: one issue voter and that's my issue.
Speaker 2: It's libraries. Wow.
Speaker 3: Well, thank you so much, Maya. We feel like you
Speaker 3: get us, and we're glad that you feel as though
Speaker 3: we get you. And we love that review. And if
Speaker 3: you all are listening and you haven't left us a
Speaker 3: review yet, and you do think that you know us
Speaker 3: more than we realize you know us, please leave us
Speaker 3: a review telling us that we'd love to hear how
Speaker 3: many of you are out there just just getting us.
Speaker 2: Just leave a review with something.
Speaker 1: Really like oddly specific about one of us that you
Speaker 1: think is oddly specific and really really weird.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Thanks everyone, See you next time.
Speaker 2: Google Friends is produced by Eric.
Speaker 3: Sirianni speaking of people understanding us. So we just had
Speaker 3: an awful hurricane here. By the time this comes out,
Speaker 3: we will be weeks post Hurricane Helene. But Jenna and
Speaker 3: I are both in the Tampa Bay area and it's
Speaker 3: been really, really, really rough. Thankfully, we are okay and
Speaker 3: as far as the people that were connected with our communities,
Speaker 3: our neighborhoods devastated but moving through it. And I was
Speaker 3: out in the immediate wake of this at home depot
Speaker 3: getting supplies and helping people clean out their flooded homes,
Speaker 3: and I walk out and they were offering free hot dogs.
Speaker 3: This guy just yelled out, you want a free hot dog?
Speaker 3: And I've never heard someone yell that to me before.
Speaker 3: My initial reaction was like, oh, I don't I don't
Speaker 3: know if I want to if I want to buy
Speaker 3: a hot dog, and then the free settled in. I'm like, yes,
Speaker 3: immediate tes automatic, yes, free hot dogs. Then I'm like,
Speaker 3: oh man, the Frugal Friends community would love to know this.
Speaker 3: And also we had a lot of people checking in
Speaker 3: like how are you doing, So I'm like, this is
Speaker 3: a great way to update everybody that we are okay
Speaker 3: and good things are still happening in the midst of tragedy.
Speaker 3: So anyways, I posted about that on our stories and
Speaker 3: and we had somebody respond like, oh my gosh, I
Speaker 3: knew you loved hot dogs so much. I can't believe
Speaker 3: you're holding two in one hand. I don't know why
Speaker 3: that impressed them, very easy to hold two hot dogs
Speaker 3: in one hand.
Speaker 1: Your hands are so small, Jill, I can't believe you're
Speaker 1: holding two.
Speaker 3: One for me, one for my husband. I wasn't getting
Speaker 3: too greedy with it, but yeah, we had people certainly
Speaker 3: commenting on the hot dog bit, like yeah, of course,
Speaker 3: of course, because you love hot dogs, like you guys
Speaker 3: get me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't, So I don't usually like when I
Speaker 1: tell people I live where I live, I usually say
Speaker 1: Saint Pete because it's more like easily recognizable, but I
Speaker 1: actually live in Gulfport, Florida. And Gulfport got a lot
Speaker 1: of national media coverage around Helene because a lot of
Speaker 1: it was uncharacteristically devastated, Like there are some areas that
Speaker 1: flood frequently and knew they were going to get flooding,
Speaker 1: and Golfport is on the water but does not typically flood. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so it has been really interesting to be so close.
Speaker 1: Last year, when Ian came, we were pretty far removed
Speaker 1: from all that devastation, and like today I am a
Speaker 1: four minute drive from where Gulfport basically ends now, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: those those roads in those houses were just like decimated.
Speaker 3: It is wild because I've seen, you know, you see
Speaker 3: stories throughout life of various communities getting hit with a
Speaker 3: natural disaster and seeing what devastation and need and rebuild
Speaker 3: efforts happen and how long it takes. But to actually
Speaker 3: be now living in the community where that's happening and
Speaker 3: seeing it firsthand, it's it's a whole other animal.
Speaker 2: But yeah, people are stuff.
Speaker 3: But it's been yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, North Carolina, you know, and parts of Georgia.
Speaker 1: See and Georgia, so so so many people.
Speaker 3: The needs are so widespread and and I know with
Speaker 3: something like this there can be this absurgence of oh
Speaker 3: how can I help in the immediate aftermath, And I
Speaker 3: think what we can forget about is that there are
Speaker 3: needs that happen one, two, three months out from it.
Speaker 3: So yeah, if you're listening, if you're still with us listening,
Speaker 3: it's about a month out probably since the storm. Yeah,
Speaker 3: efforts are still happening. I think my takeaway from this
Speaker 3: is best a partner with organizations that are already doing stuff.
Speaker 3: So whether that's the Red Cross or Smaritan's Purse or
Speaker 3: local organizations, A lot of businesses and restaurants are doing
Speaker 3: relief efforts partnering with other people. So yeah, good thing
Speaker 3: to keep in mind.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Gulfport, Mississippi who specifically raising supplies and
Speaker 1: money for Gulfport, Florida. Calling them they're like a little
Speaker 1: sister or something.
Speaker 2: I don't know. It was really cute to see. Yeah,
Speaker 2: who very cool.
Speaker 1: So that's yeah, there are some good organizations that are
Speaker 1: doing some good work here, and help them, help us
Speaker 1: help our communities because we love these communities, We love
Speaker 1: these neighborhoods, our beaches. We want to see them come
Speaker 1: back and their employees back, residents back, and so please
Speaker 1: if you are able to, yeah, we'd love to see
Speaker 1: our community rise up.
Speaker 3: Fee yah