Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janna Kramer and I heard radio podcast
Speaker 1: It's time to wind down. Okay, So producer Jenna is
Speaker 1: eating Kuffin's right now? What is there so good? And
Speaker 1: this isn't This is not an ad, by the way,
Speaker 1: but it's a hybrid of a chocolate chip cookie and
Speaker 1: a muffin. Where do you get him at? I have
Speaker 1: no idea. Amy, my friend Natalie, her kid Lane invented them.
Speaker 1: Amy is in a studio with us today because she's
Speaker 1: obsessed with our guests that we have on today. Um,
Speaker 1: and I'm really obsessed to because Blossom Guys, Like I
Speaker 1: grew up watching that show. And she's like, she's a neuroscientist,
Speaker 1: she's an author, she's an actress, she's a mom, kick
Speaker 1: ass mom. Yeah, she's like she's everything. And Amy is
Speaker 1: obsessed with her. So that's why she's here. I'm totally
Speaker 1: obsessed with her, her brain, for her brain. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: fascinates me. Girl crushed. What was she impeating? It's right.
Speaker 1: I'll never forget when I watched Beaches and I was
Speaker 1: in the back of my bus and I was I
Speaker 1: can't remember which tour I was on, but one of
Speaker 1: my band guys came back and he's like, are you okay?
Speaker 1: And I was like it's a good cry, bawling like
Speaker 1: and he was just like, okay, we gotta go on
Speaker 1: in like five minutes. So, like my eyes are tearing
Speaker 1: up just thinking about them. Yeah, I guess they had
Speaker 1: a remake, but I couldn't watch it. I was like, no, nothing,
Speaker 1: absolutely Beaches like number one, but I cannot. Oh my goodness,
Speaker 1: I love that, like I love Beaches. I know it's
Speaker 1: so good and good cry. I do too. I kind
Speaker 1: of feel like a good cry. Yeah, why you I
Speaker 1: don't you know? Just I don't know. Life, it's hard.
Speaker 1: So it was just Father's Day. What did you? What
Speaker 1: did you get my Father's Day? So he got a
Speaker 1: new set of golf clubs and so he's like, babe,
Speaker 1: all I want to do is I just want He
Speaker 1: wants to perfect his golf swing because his dream, like
Speaker 1: he's his dream is for me to get on like
Speaker 1: a hit show and then he can quit his job
Speaker 1: and then he'll be a professional golfer. That's a great train.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you like, I can't even hit the ball.
Speaker 1: I've tried. He's like, no, that's not really. He loves
Speaker 1: his job just in case any of his bosses are listening.
Speaker 1: But no, Um, he loves his job. He's just obsessed
Speaker 1: with golf and he just like his dream is to
Speaker 1: be in the p g A. And I'm like, great,
Speaker 1: I get more naptime because I just will asleep when
Speaker 1: I watch golf. It's so slow. It's slow. Yes, it's
Speaker 1: kind of boring, but as he loves it. That's his thing,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, cool, babe, awesome, So golf lessons and um, yeah,
Speaker 1: we just had a really nice relaxing day. He played
Speaker 1: golf in the morning, so I didn't see him and
Speaker 1: it was nice and relaxing morning. And then he came
Speaker 1: back and we just hung out. He loves to cook,
Speaker 1: so we had some steak. It was good. What it
Speaker 1: was Rocco with daddy. Yes, so he was with his dad.
Speaker 1: And that was one thing, you know, he didn't give me.
Speaker 1: He didn't take Rocco to get me a Mother's Day gift.
Speaker 1: So I know, although Rocco made me the most beautiful
Speaker 1: card and a painting at school, which I thought was
Speaker 1: even it was so special. Um, but I got him
Speaker 1: something so that Rocco could give to him. Maybe that's
Speaker 1: like a hey, hint for next year right now exactly exactly.
Speaker 1: But also my birthday is this week? What when it's
Speaker 1: one and I'm turning forty four, So I scheduled um
Speaker 1: a LiPo suction appointment? What for my birthday? That's my
Speaker 1: birthday gift to me. It's my divorce gift and birthday gifts.
Speaker 1: Why are you getting LiPo because I think it's going
Speaker 1: to be fantastic. No, I am. I'm going to debate
Speaker 1: this with you because it's not about I mean, okay,
Speaker 1: it's all about just good eating and working out. It's
Speaker 1: not just about working out, but it's about healthy diet.
Speaker 1: I know I do have a healthy diet. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: then and I work out. I'm just old. You will
Speaker 1: see when you end up getting in your forties. Is
Speaker 1: it a tummy tuck? No? No, like you're actually going
Speaker 1: to do sucking out like life bye bye. You know
Speaker 1: what he said? He said, I can even if you want,
Speaker 1: I can put it in your button. And I was like, no,
Speaker 1: thank you, I'm asking you to take the fat out.
Speaker 1: I don't want it back. I wonder if that's what
Speaker 1: like that, like what amber Rose does and then those
Speaker 1: they put the fat in there. He said, everyone's doing it.
Speaker 1: I said, I don't care. I'm asking you to take
Speaker 1: it out and get throw it out like some of
Speaker 1: the things that could happen now Like no, no, it's
Speaker 1: nothing you should do. And I think we should actually
Speaker 1: all shame her. It's not. The whole show is to
Speaker 1: not shame. Yeah, that is the whole point of the
Speaker 1: show is do not shame. But I am just advising
Speaker 1: you as your friend. I don't I think is if
Speaker 1: you just continue to maintain a healthy diet and some
Speaker 1: exercise on top of But the diet is my trainer says,
Speaker 1: you can work out every single day, but if you're
Speaker 1: eating doesn't change you. Your body will not change. I
Speaker 1: just you know what, I'm vegan, and I'm not a
Speaker 1: crappy vegan. There's crappy vegans. I'm not that person. I
Speaker 1: um is it just waits from over because I you
Speaker 1: don't like I literally, I'm like, where are you going
Speaker 1: to suck it out from its? We have a great
Speaker 1: I'm just getting my torso sucked out just bye bye.
Speaker 1: And it's from being older and I had a baby
Speaker 1: later in life and I'm turning forty four and it's
Speaker 1: my birthday gift to myself. I never brought my birthday
Speaker 1: and it's smart it's smart light BO. So it's not
Speaker 1: I'm not fully under it's smart light bo. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm getting a smart light. Those section well, I mean,
Speaker 1: I will say this if it's going to it's an investment,
Speaker 1: which means look, I'll say I'll say this if that
Speaker 1: is going to make you feel better about yourself. I
Speaker 1: don't think that's the way you should go. But if
Speaker 1: it's going to make you feel better, then you need
Speaker 1: to do what you want to do. Like my mom
Speaker 1: always said, She's like, I want to tell me talk
Speaker 1: and I'm like, Mom, put down the M and m's
Speaker 1: and then you know, fine, But you know over time
Speaker 1: again I don't. I don't when my metabolism it's I
Speaker 1: can already tell it's changing, but it is harder for
Speaker 1: me to lose weight when I want to. But again,
Speaker 1: like if you start to eat crappy after your liposection,
Speaker 1: I'm going to be mad at you and not I won't.
Speaker 1: I promise we'll see Okay, No, I don't know, cramise,
Speaker 1: I won't. We'll see No, no, no, I mean I
Speaker 1: don't eat crappy. That's the thing. It's everything also, it's
Speaker 1: like you know, it's the genes. Just I think everything
Speaker 1: in moderation. Again, like for me, like I always said,
Speaker 1: after I'm done with babies, like I want to get
Speaker 1: a boob job, not because I want big boobs, but
Speaker 1: because I just like I hate wearing bras and I
Speaker 1: would love to just have like a full be and
Speaker 1: just you know, that would be just be nice, a round,
Speaker 1: full be. And you know everyone's like, no, you shouldn't,
Speaker 1: you shouldn't do that, but again, it would make me happy,
Speaker 1: So a kind of like make you happy. Well, you
Speaker 1: can't change me if you're I'm telling you, but like no, again,
Speaker 1: it's about like if that's what's going to make you
Speaker 1: feel pretty, I'm not for it. But I think there's
Speaker 1: other ways I've been doing the other ways. Let's just
Speaker 1: what You're right, there's no other way to get me
Speaker 1: a big be without you know, adding a little small something.
Speaker 1: How about you give me some of your fat? There
Speaker 1: were good? Oh my god, I wonder if we can
Speaker 1: get a deal three because too um all right, well sorry, Amy,
Speaker 1: we're just gonna we're gonna table that is that what
Speaker 1: you wanted to Was that your Yeah, you told me
Speaker 1: that you had something you want to talk about? That
Speaker 1: was it? Like? I mean, I seriously went through It
Speaker 1: took me a week to make the decision. One week, well,
Speaker 1: another week. It took like it took a while, it
Speaker 1: really did. Is there anything else you want to do?
Speaker 1: I don't think so. No, no, So I want to
Speaker 1: talk to you guys about care Of. I have a
Speaker 1: really difficult time picking out well. First of all, when
Speaker 1: I go to like a vitamin store, I get super
Speaker 1: overwhelmed because there's so many different vitamins and I'm like,
Speaker 1: which one's actually like I want just this, like I
Speaker 1: want just for my skin or you know, I want
Speaker 1: bone health, and I just feel like there's but then
Speaker 1: there's like so many more vitamins in there, and I'm like, wait,
Speaker 1: I don't want those. So it's like super overwhelming it is,
Speaker 1: and the milligrams everything, it's so confusing, super confusing. But
Speaker 1: there's this amazing company called care Of. And what's great
Speaker 1: is it you take this five minute quiz. It's super
Speaker 1: easy and it's basically says, what do you want to um? Like,
Speaker 1: what do you want to improve in your health? All
Speaker 1: of it. So for me, I said, I wanted, um,
Speaker 1: something to help my skin, uh, for my bones, and
Speaker 1: then just for like just regular cognitive health. And what
Speaker 1: they do is they send you a vitamin for each
Speaker 1: one of those. So it's very very um, it's very
Speaker 1: hand picked for you what vitamins you need for yourself. Um.
Speaker 1: And again it's great, it's it's it's so easy, it's
Speaker 1: it's a great quiz whatever you want for your diet,
Speaker 1: health goals, health goals, lifestyle choices, um. And then they
Speaker 1: send you a personalized supplement supplement recommendation and it's fantastic.
Speaker 1: The box is actually really cute too, so I put
Speaker 1: it up in my kitchen. It's got a cute little
Speaker 1: design on it, and each each Vitaminpact two has a
Speaker 1: little message on it, a little inspirational message. So I
Speaker 1: love that. What was the message this morning? Um, well,
Speaker 1: this one this morning was a funny one. It said
Speaker 1: to use a new emoji. But the other one was like, um,
Speaker 1: it was a Theodore Roosevelt quote. Cool. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: think it's pretty great. So I want to offer it
Speaker 1: to ucuys so for off your first month of personalized
Speaker 1: care of vitamins visit take Care of dot Com and
Speaker 1: entered Janna. That's take care of dot Com and entered Janna. Okay,
Speaker 1: so your subscription box includes individually wrapped packets with your
Speaker 1: specific vitamins and supplements for easy grab and go. That
Speaker 1: is perfect for moms, let me tell you, because big
Speaker 1: like five big bottles of itamins in your purse. It's
Speaker 1: like a cute little teeny package on the way out,
Speaker 1: throw it in your purse, which is that's incredible. Um,
Speaker 1: thirty days supply shifted right to your door. Hell love yea,
Speaker 1: so good, so great that so you'all go to y'all
Speaker 1: go to take Care of dot Com and enter the
Speaker 1: code Jana off your first month of personalized care of vitamins.
Speaker 1: Let's get healthy. Okay, I am, I'm really, really really
Speaker 1: excited because, um, this is gonna be a fun episode
Speaker 1: because I have someone who I grew up watching and idolizing.
Speaker 1: She is in the studio with us today, also producer Jen,
Speaker 1: and we know it's an amazing guest because producer Amy
Speaker 1: is also here with us because she has more questions
Speaker 1: than anyone. And then you guys, please welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: My m b al Hello. Also known as Blossom. That's sorry,
Speaker 1: Like I'm gonna say that you were old enough to
Speaker 1: have known that girl. No, I'm almost thirty five. Wow. Yeah, Okay.
Speaker 1: The joke is I slept in my makeup last night,
Speaker 1: so like for the first time I have like somewhat
Speaker 1: of a glimpse of makeup on. But I just twenty
Speaker 1: years much the same age. It's good. But I'm just
Speaker 1: so excited because you you have I mean, like you
Speaker 1: have your name, and then it's like, neuroscientist, what you're
Speaker 1: so smart? After well, I'm persistent. You know, having a
Speaker 1: degree doesn't necessarily mean you're smart. It means you're persistent.
Speaker 1: But you've got that degree, which means you're smart. After Blossom,
Speaker 1: I was nineteen in Blossom ended, So I did Blossom
Speaker 1: from fourteen to nineteen. I went to u c l A.
Speaker 1: And I did my undergraduate degree in a science and
Speaker 1: a minor in Hebrew and Jewish studies, which kept my
Speaker 1: g p A up. And then I went directly into
Speaker 1: a PhD program at U c l A, also in neuroscience. Incredible,
Speaker 1: and you come out of that with two children in
Speaker 1: a PhD. I mean, I was telling her, I was
Speaker 1: like I feel stupid next to you because I still
Speaker 1: count like I don't even know the Times table, and
Speaker 1: you're smart enough to know that if your makeup looked
Speaker 1: like that yesterday, your best sleeping it because it looks
Speaker 1: good today. Things yesterday's eyeliner, today's smokey eye. Right, So
Speaker 1: what they say, I'm street smart, I'm just not book smart.
Speaker 1: But I mean, like, how like you were just like,
Speaker 1: all right, I was just on the most famous TV show.
Speaker 1: Now I want to be a neuroscientist. Well it wasn't
Speaker 1: that famous, which is part of why it was seen
Speaker 1: as yeah so Blossom. Yeah, you know. But when you
Speaker 1: when you think about what TV was like then, which
Speaker 1: you may not have thought about because you were younger
Speaker 1: than I was, you know, um, the TV watching was
Speaker 1: really really different, and our show was like sometimes in
Speaker 1: the top twenty. But it was not like the love
Speaker 1: full of success of never knowne that. We just we
Speaker 1: never nominated for anything. We never got an Emmy, We
Speaker 1: never got nominated even our writing or directing. So wedicated
Speaker 1: those syndication So actually we were, we were we had
Speaker 1: enough episodes for syndication. But you may notice that our
Speaker 1: show is not syndicated. The way the other shows from
Speaker 1: the nineties were. So you can now see it. I
Speaker 1: think Hulu picked it up. You can now watch it.
Speaker 1: But it never had the kind of run that these
Speaker 1: other shows from the from the nineties had. Um. So
Speaker 1: the fact is like it was seen, you know, as
Speaker 1: different than like Punky Brewster, which was a kids show,
Speaker 1: but it was but it was But Blossom was really
Speaker 1: right at the time though, that was really seen as
Speaker 1: like a like a family sitcom. It wasn't like you
Speaker 1: were considered a serious actor back then. TV was considered
Speaker 1: the lesser of the acting gigs to have, meaning, you know,
Speaker 1: the way you have like movie stars doing guest spots
Speaker 1: on TV shows now, that was not happening in the nineties.
Speaker 1: So it was seen as a good thing to kind
Speaker 1: of step away from the industry grow up a little bit.
Speaker 1: I fell in love with science when I was on
Speaker 1: the set of Blossom, and I really wanted to be
Speaker 1: appreciated for what was in my head and not what
Speaker 1: I could offer people, you know, in terms of entertainment
Speaker 1: and money. Um, my parents were both teachers, my grandparents
Speaker 1: were immigrants, so I was raised that you go to college.
Speaker 1: So it really felt like a natural thing for me
Speaker 1: to do, and I wanted to have more of a
Speaker 1: normal life and whatever normal is, Like, I don't think
Speaker 1: anyone's normal, but I certainly was not. Well. I think
Speaker 1: it was cool about that though, was that you were
Speaker 1: able because a lot of people like, you know, you're
Speaker 1: to me. You were on a hit show, and then
Speaker 1: you went away to college, you became a neuroscientist, and
Speaker 1: then you were able to go back into acting, which
Speaker 1: I think is fantastic because a lot of people kind
Speaker 1: of were like, no, you were typecasted as one thing
Speaker 1: like hard. But I mean now you're on another very
Speaker 1: successful show. I mean that was really it's I mean,
Speaker 1: it's a blessed accident to have been cast in the
Speaker 1: Big Bang theory. But um, the true story is, you know,
Speaker 1: after I got my degree, Um I did. I had
Speaker 1: a toddler. I was pregnant with my second son when
Speaker 1: I took my doctorate. When I took my whole I
Speaker 1: was that lady in a doctoralhood like super pregnant. Um so,
Speaker 1: so you were finishing your dissertation while pregnant. Well, I
Speaker 1: actually wrote my dissertation and edited it while nursing my
Speaker 1: first son, and then by the time I submitted my dissertation,
Speaker 1: I was pregnant. I defended my dissertation. Um, I defended
Speaker 1: my dissertation before I got pregnant. But then by the
Speaker 1: time you take your hood, I was Greggor's again. I mean,
Speaker 1: was it like baby like, Yeah, I guess I'm just
Speaker 1: kind of like most pregnant women just layer out. I mean,
Speaker 1: I remember I was pregnant with my my daughter, Jolia.
Speaker 1: I was just like, I was just like, I can't
Speaker 1: do anything. I'm just there and you're like getting your
Speaker 1: neural science forgetting degree nursing. Well, I'm very, very human.
Speaker 1: I'm not superhuman. Um. But no, but I think it's
Speaker 1: it's a it's a really important point to like to
Speaker 1: realize that women, you know, we can all do it differently,
Speaker 1: you know. And like I loved being home with my
Speaker 1: kids after I got my degree, Like I was home
Speaker 1: with my kids. I was able to be home with
Speaker 1: them because that's what I wanted to do and I
Speaker 1: felt like that's the way I wanted to raise my children,
Speaker 1: was to be with them in those years. But that's decision.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be an actress. No, I didn't
Speaker 1: even want to be a research professor. I stayed home
Speaker 1: with my kids. I taught, I tutored piano, I tutored Hebrew,
Speaker 1: I taught second. Didn't want to do anything with it.
Speaker 1: You know what, Sometimes you want to get it great
Speaker 1: for the the experience and the potential. And the fact
Speaker 1: is I didn't know what kind of mom I'd want
Speaker 1: to be. But when that child came out of my body,
Speaker 1: I realized I want to be with him rather than
Speaker 1: with someone else's children all day while paying for childcare.
Speaker 1: And some women decide that, and there are women in
Speaker 1: my department who did that. I don't judge, went like,
Speaker 1: I don't begrudge on that decision. But I didn't realize
Speaker 1: how much I was going to love being a parent.
Speaker 1: And sure there were times when I was bored, and
Speaker 1: there were times when I was frustrated, when I was like,
Speaker 1: why is my purpose in life to be a milk
Speaker 1: factory for this human that doesn't even seem to appreciate it?
Speaker 1: And he's always pooping on me, Like how your nipple
Speaker 1: is raw right now? Like I'm in pain. I don't sleep.
Speaker 1: I never got training for this job, and no one
Speaker 1: pays me. And in addition, you don't get health insurance
Speaker 1: from being a mom. So that's actually what I started
Speaker 1: auditioning again, is we were running out of health insurance
Speaker 1: my my now ex hus when we were married at
Speaker 1: the time. Um, we were both in school and get
Speaker 1: to later. Um No, we were both in grad school
Speaker 1: and my insurance lapsed. He was finishing his master's thesis.
Speaker 1: And I figured, if I can just like act literally
Speaker 1: this is a true story enough to just get basic
Speaker 1: health insurance for my family, I could still keep teaching.
Speaker 1: I was supposed to be the at home mom, so
Speaker 1: I started auditioning for things. All the casting directors were
Speaker 1: too young to even remember Blossom, and I was considered like, oh,
Speaker 1: this child actor, like thanks jacket act. So I just
Speaker 1: started auditioning for characters that had no names. It was
Speaker 1: just like girl one, like you know, chubby girl too. Um.
Speaker 1: So I have a manager. Her name is Tiffany Kuzon.
Speaker 1: We were actually friends in high school before I was
Speaker 1: even like thinking of becoming an actress again. Later in life,
Speaker 1: we lost touch because in the days before cell phones
Speaker 1: and Facebook, you know, I finished Blossom. She went to
Speaker 1: work at U t A and then she actually took
Speaker 1: me on when I was eight months pregnant with my
Speaker 1: second son. I had a literary project at the management
Speaker 1: firm she was at, and I got to get this message,
Speaker 1: Tiffany wants to speak to you, and I was like,
Speaker 1: wait a second. We were friends, and she took me
Speaker 1: on and I was like, if this lady believes in
Speaker 1: me eight months pregnant looking like this with no like
Speaker 1: ankle bones showing because I'm so swollen and puffy, she
Speaker 1: must really believe in me. And that's who has kind
Speaker 1: of built my career. Back up your ride or Die.
Speaker 1: That's right, She's Ride or Die. So how many years
Speaker 1: was it before you got them Big Bang? Um? Let's see,
Speaker 1: it was probably about um. I mean it was maybe
Speaker 1: a year of just like auditioning for stuff. I did
Speaker 1: an episode of Bones, I did an episode of like
Speaker 1: Saving Grace, like just like you know, some random small things.
Speaker 1: That's huge. That well, I had never seen the Big
Speaker 1: Bang theory. I thought it was a talk show or
Speaker 1: like a game show, because someone told me that they
Speaker 1: had mentioned me first season, so I figured it was
Speaker 1: like a quiz show. I had no idea, and Tiffany
Speaker 1: was like, why do I represent someone who doesn't even
Speaker 1: know like the most popular show on television. I didn't
Speaker 1: watch television. That's how I get so many things done,
Speaker 1: is I don't watch television watching the Kardashians like I
Speaker 1: am no. But you know that has its value as well,
Speaker 1: but it's just not my thing. So um, I googled
Speaker 1: Jim Parsons because the audition said we want a female
Speaker 1: version of Sheldon Cooper and I was like, who's that?
Speaker 1: Google it and I was like, oh, I know people
Speaker 1: like this. I'm like this, so this is And I
Speaker 1: was brought on for one episode the season finale of
Speaker 1: season three and brought back as a regular. Melissa Rause,
Speaker 1: who plays Bernadett, she had a similar thing. She was
Speaker 1: brought on in season three, and we were both made
Speaker 1: regulars in season four and then we just finished eleven. Wow.
Speaker 1: I was a pumping working mom. I was still pumping
Speaker 1: um every break for like the first year I was
Speaker 1: on Big Bang Theory. So I would hang my little
Speaker 1: sign on door, you know, woman at work? Can you
Speaker 1: hear exactly? You would hear the cow the cow factory.
Speaker 1: That's really like, that's such a great story because it
Speaker 1: feels like it'd be so hard again because you were
Speaker 1: a child actor and now again like, you've you've done
Speaker 1: everything you've wanted to do, So what's a lot of
Speaker 1: things I want to do? I'm like, what's what is
Speaker 1: that done? Um? Well, I mean there's a lot of
Speaker 1: things I want to do. You know. I have a
Speaker 1: website called grack Nation, which we've kind of expanded out
Speaker 1: to sort of be the miryambiolic version of Goop as
Speaker 1: it were, meaning, um, you know, what if you focused
Speaker 1: on sustainable design choices and sustainable thinking and sustainable living. Um,
Speaker 1: what if your emphasis on understanding the news was to
Speaker 1: come from a place of empathy or what if the
Speaker 1: emphasis was on like what can you do to change
Speaker 1: your little corner of the world. That's what we say.
Speaker 1: So I spent a lot of my time on grack Nation. Um.
Speaker 1: We have an editor in chief. Her names Christina Kelly,
Speaker 1: and she came from Sassy Magazine, which I used to
Speaker 1: I know, I know that for me to check out
Speaker 1: grack nation dot com because christ nic Kelly, who was
Speaker 1: you know, she was one of the editors and she
Speaker 1: ended up working with Jane and she worked at you
Speaker 1: know why am all these things? She is She's our
Speaker 1: editor in chief and so we're creating a combination of
Speaker 1: like sassy magazine meets like real Simple meets like a
Speaker 1: holistic parentsing kind of place. So I spent a lot
Speaker 1: of my time working on the website. I also have
Speaker 1: a YouTube channel. Um we just hit four hundred thousand subscribers,
Speaker 1: which is very small in comparison to all these big YouTubers.
Speaker 1: But um, I produce a lot of material about a
Speaker 1: lot of the stuff we're talking about. You know, how
Speaker 1: did I decide when to have children? And why? What's
Speaker 1: it like being a divorced mom? Why am I a
Speaker 1: religious person who also believes in evolution? What's that like?
Speaker 1: You know? So making these videos has been a way
Speaker 1: to share a bigger part of myself. Um. And it's
Speaker 1: something that you know, is I don't mean to say
Speaker 1: like it's my passion project, but its literally something I
Speaker 1: feel passionately about that I you knows, as we were
Speaker 1: talking about, it doesn't really make a lot of money,
Speaker 1: but it's something that I believe in putting out into
Speaker 1: a world that is consuming information in a way that
Speaker 1: none of us dreamed of when we were kids or teenagers. Um,
Speaker 1: I write, you know, I just boing. I just released
Speaker 1: Bowing Up, which Bowing up. Yeah, your fourth, just for
Speaker 1: so many questions about us. She's a mom to a boy. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I have a six year old. That's a year Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: so much fun. Oh yeah, I am waiting for my
Speaker 1: PhD in civil engineering to arrive in the mail. From
Speaker 1: all of the legos, I've felt like, I'm sure you're
Speaker 1: pretty much an expert because when my boys were that age. Oh,
Speaker 1: I mean, my favorite thing to do, just because this
Speaker 1: is my personality. We organized the lego by type. What
Speaker 1: does that mean? By color? There are several ways to
Speaker 1: do it. You can do it by color and by
Speaker 1: type like they do in the Lego store. But what
Speaker 1: we do is it was just it was out of
Speaker 1: control and I needed to take control. So we have
Speaker 1: we have a little kind of like a little dresser
Speaker 1: that we keep all our legoing. So I keep all
Speaker 1: of the standard sized pieces in one and all of
Speaker 1: the unusual sized pieces, and then I have separated bodies
Speaker 1: by a type, like so you can have like you
Speaker 1: can mix and I know it's so much fun. And
Speaker 1: then wheels are separation. Yes, it's super fun. Can you
Speaker 1: come over to my house because I still we will
Speaker 1: make that YouTube video of me organizing your lego. There's
Speaker 1: nothing I love more than organizing. I'm a Laurel Canyon,
Speaker 1: Canyon perfect. Next Monday, makeup and drink a martini in
Speaker 1: the background. I promised to post a picture of Rocco's
Speaker 1: lego disaster because my legos look nothing like that. Right.
Speaker 1: I'm terrified to have a boy because my husband, I mean,
Speaker 1: when I was pregnant with Jolie, he got like he's
Speaker 1: he is a grown man. He's thirty one years old,
Speaker 1: and he gets he buys legos and my people it's okay,
Speaker 1: but I don't. I'm like, babe, like, why are you
Speaker 1: building a star trek lego thing? And because he can?
Speaker 1: But why because we don't have you just started to
Speaker 1: be don't ask. Just just accept him the way he is.
Speaker 1: There's plenty of people who understanding just sitting there, pieces everywhere,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, no, you can contend. No, no,
Speaker 1: you need to contain it. There are boundaries we can
Speaker 1: put need the boundary. Um, he likes Yeah, but he's
Speaker 1: like a lego geek, yes, and does he like dungeons
Speaker 1: and dragons? No? Did I lose you? I was gonna
Speaker 1: make I was gonna make enough friend. I mean maybe
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe in his weird like Lego world
Speaker 1: he likes sdungeons and dragons to be grateful for a
Speaker 1: moment that he likes to build legos because that means
Speaker 1: you don't have correct if you love a boy, Oh good,
Speaker 1: thank you. Some girls like to build too. Let's just
Speaker 1: put it out there. I did into loving the lease
Speaker 1: medotato of when I opened the bottle of wine, and
Speaker 1: then I couldn't Friday night. You know, eight thousand pieces?
Speaker 1: Oh see that, I get overwhelmed and I get pissed,
Speaker 1: and then I'm just like, I'm like, I don't understand
Speaker 1: where does this piece go? And then he's that's what
Speaker 1: the diagram is for. Its confusing. I have a silver
Speaker 1: Lego for my small brain, like I am the Lego mom.
Speaker 1: It's a little silver Lego block on a on a
Speaker 1: silver chain. Do you drink wine? I do. I drink
Speaker 1: other things as well. Wine past a certain age gives
Speaker 1: some people headaches. I'm one of those people, because clearly
Speaker 1: evolution is like, we don't need you anymore, Like we
Speaker 1: don't need you to be attractive. We're gonna make like
Speaker 1: weird skin gather weird ways We're gonna put like dark
Speaker 1: spots on your face. Your breasts will never be at
Speaker 1: attention anymore. And also you can't go on roller coasters
Speaker 1: or drink wine without getting a headache. Is that not
Speaker 1: what it's like being a humans? Also, if you sprain
Speaker 1: your ankle, you will be out of commission for eight months.
Speaker 1: For you just you turned and all of a sudden
Speaker 1: for three d You're like, how old are you? Don't
Speaker 1: you laugh? But something? Also your eyes will go like
Speaker 1: you don't need to see anymore. You have already given
Speaker 1: us your eggs were done. We're done. You don't need
Speaker 1: to read anything or go anywhere or see a menu.
Speaker 1: We're going to break and I really want to talk
Speaker 1: about the F word when we come back, not that one,
Speaker 1: not the same fame. Okay, I was gonna well, never mind,
Speaker 1: my um love you, but I gotta take a break,
Speaker 1: baby for just one second to tell you about what
Speaker 1: my husband is obsessed with and also me. But you know,
Speaker 1: my husband does most of the cooking in the household,
Speaker 1: and he's obsessed with Hella fresh groceries get delivered to
Speaker 1: the door, Go online, you pick out the meals you want.
Speaker 1: How many meals a week you want. It's fantastic because
Speaker 1: there's no extra groceries and produce second way bad exactly.
Speaker 1: And that's what I love about it because there's no
Speaker 1: ways you get exactly what you need. And for me,
Speaker 1: because I'm I'm just not good at new recipes, but
Speaker 1: I want to learn. How do you know things? And
Speaker 1: you don't have to come up with the idea I know,
Speaker 1: and it's just appears and it's like and here's you
Speaker 1: know this, these are the ingredients and this stu to
Speaker 1: put in and I'm like, wow, this is fantastic. And
Speaker 1: my husband's actually remade some of them on his own
Speaker 1: because he knows, like he loves them so much. So
Speaker 1: I'm a huge advocate for Hello Fresh and I think
Speaker 1: they're fantastic. And again, you know, it's great for my
Speaker 1: my daughter too. She loves she loves the meals and
Speaker 1: it's great because it's fuss free and it's just makes
Speaker 1: dinner so easy. It's thirty minutes, I mean, and it's fresh.
Speaker 1: It's fresh fresh, And there's vegetarian boxes. There's which one
Speaker 1: do you guys get? There's classic family and vegetarian and
Speaker 1: we we do the classic family. Cool. Yeah, what kind
Speaker 1: of like, what's your favorite what has been your favorite meal?
Speaker 1: I love the balsamic burger, and my husband loves the
Speaker 1: pineapple chicken with the rice and the green beans. But
Speaker 1: Julie Jolie likes mac and cheese. But yeah, but she
Speaker 1: really really liked the jasmine rice that was with the
Speaker 1: pineapple chicken meal. Jasmine rice. That sounds really good. Which, um,
Speaker 1: all the ingredients come pre measured in handy labeled meal cats.
Speaker 1: It's so easy for thirty dollars off your first week
Speaker 1: of Hello Fresh, visit Hello Fresh dot com slash cramer
Speaker 1: thirty and enter cramer thirty. That's Hello Fresh dot com
Speaker 1: slash Cramer thirty and enter cramer. Also, you know what's
Speaker 1: really great about this, there's a ton of one pot
Speaker 1: recipes that way less clean up. It's like one pot.
Speaker 1: You're cooking everything in one pot. Oh I didn't know that.
Speaker 1: Oh that's great. I thought it was like a one
Speaker 1: pot like for the one Lonely one lonely divorced. No
Speaker 1: one pot. But I think maybe I don't know if
Speaker 1: there is just for one, but that would be kind
Speaker 1: of great for my one Wednesday. I might get one day.
Speaker 1: You guys, that's thirty dollars off your first week of
Speaker 1: Hello Fresh. Visit Hello Fresh dot com slash Cramer thirty
Speaker 1: and to Cramer thirty. Well then okay, girls, here I
Speaker 1: will I will bring legos. No here, no time out,
Speaker 1: y'all bring the legos and I'm gonna bringing it. Ay.
Speaker 1: That's what happen in what's the word fame? What is
Speaker 1: it like? How have you navigated? She navigated the back uh,
Speaker 1: the back entrance of the extradited passport. I didn't even
Speaker 1: ask for that. You know, there's that song, um, I
Speaker 1: took a pill in a visa and it is about fame,
Speaker 1: and I always like, I didn't take a pill in
Speaker 1: a visa. Um, But you know, there are things in
Speaker 1: that song that I talked about with my boys, because
Speaker 1: he says, you don't want to be high like this
Speaker 1: right like, and you don't want to be stuck up
Speaker 1: on that stage saying all I know is sad songs.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, like, it gives me chills, because, um,
Speaker 1: there are certain things that are amazing about fame, and
Speaker 1: no one wants to hear famous people be like, oh man,
Speaker 1: that is so hard. But there are aspects to the
Speaker 1: loneliness you feel when everybody loves you, but you're still
Speaker 1: a human. And I remember when I saw like the
Speaker 1: Lady Gaga documentary that was it was super tough, but
Speaker 1: there was something she said that struck me. So she said,
Speaker 1: like everybody loves you, and you hang out with them
Speaker 1: all the day, like you know, and everything's right. But
Speaker 1: she said, then everybody goes home, you know, and like
Speaker 1: and at this point in her life she's like, and
Speaker 1: I'm alone, like, you know, and even if you have
Speaker 1: someone to love, you know, there's that sense of being human,
Speaker 1: you know, that touches all of us. So like when
Speaker 1: my dad died three years ago, like that was still
Speaker 1: think you that was still my dad dying and having
Speaker 1: that experience as a human. Fame doesn't protect you from
Speaker 1: being human, you know. It adds all these layers that
Speaker 1: are really interesting. But when you have kids, that's like
Speaker 1: a whole other conversation, you know, Like my older son especially,
Speaker 1: like why can't I be on your Instagram page? All
Speaker 1: my friends are on their mom's Instagram. It's like, because
Speaker 1: you can't. That's why. Because you didn't choose this life,
Speaker 1: and there are consequences of this life that you don't
Speaker 1: think about you don't get to play as freely at
Speaker 1: the park because if I have to wonder that people
Speaker 1: know what your face looks like, you know, you don't
Speaker 1: want to scare them. But fame also comes with like
Speaker 1: all these decisions about like security and blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: You know, where you live, you have to do, you
Speaker 1: have to be when you're traveling different. Yeah, it's different,
Speaker 1: and it's and it's a scary world. And I don't
Speaker 1: mean to like make people scared or make my children scared,
Speaker 1: but yeah, fame, Fame provides people access to your life,
Speaker 1: um that you can't take back, you know. And part
Speaker 1: of my decision to to to work on crack Nation
Speaker 1: and to have this YouTube channel is the notion that
Speaker 1: I'm going to kind of suspend a lot of that
Speaker 1: fear in the belief that I can provide something that
Speaker 1: might be entertaining or interesting or helpful to someone you know,
Speaker 1: and also inspiring and helping the new generation. Right, And
Speaker 1: like I can show you all the ways that I
Speaker 1: cut an avocado, and that might get a million hits, um,
Speaker 1: but that's not That's not what I'm interested in, you know.
Speaker 1: I'm interested in talking about issues that are important that
Speaker 1: make people think and that start conversations. And you know
Speaker 1: in the research that that my team does you know
Speaker 1: that that might well know he's sitting right there, um
Speaker 1: that that. But there's there's research that has to be
Speaker 1: done about what do people want? What do people want
Speaker 1: from you and from your people don't right, and they
Speaker 1: don't need to see you know, my like morning toothbrush
Speaker 1: like routine, but like to see parts of me that
Speaker 1: are that are hard to share is not something that
Speaker 1: we do for ratings, right, It's something like it's trying
Speaker 1: to make the world smaller in healthy ways, you know,
Speaker 1: using the internet to connect in ways that that don't
Speaker 1: make fame. This kind of like isolating burden you because
Speaker 1: I don't want it to be. I don't want to
Speaker 1: live my life like that. Life is with people, you know,
Speaker 1: but it has its parks too. Yeah, Well, like the
Speaker 1: passport expositing thing, I didn't know there's a thing. But
Speaker 1: also I think they were concerned that not that I
Speaker 1: would start a riot in the federal building, you know,
Speaker 1: but like there's a lot of people and like it
Speaker 1: could be distracting, absolutely if that became a thing. But
Speaker 1: I still like I go out, I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: being an unadorned woman when you choose to be actually
Speaker 1: has its perks, you know, like there are ways to
Speaker 1: be more recognizable, there are ways to be less recognizable.
Speaker 1: I happened to be in full hair and makeup when
Speaker 1: I went to the Federal Building because I had a
Speaker 1: day of publicity and I literally was like squeezing it
Speaker 1: in between three interviews. So my kids aren't used to
Speaker 1: be looking like that. I mean while I walk into
Speaker 1: the Federal Building like you know, in my like crappy
Speaker 1: espadrils and like a crappy T shirt. But with full
Speaker 1: hair and makeup, you're more recognizable that way for sure,
Speaker 1: and yours were very thrilled the Federal Building. Is it
Speaker 1: harder to date? Um? Yes, I mean some would say
Speaker 1: it's impossible the date unless you use like one of
Speaker 1: these sites like Rya or whatever. Um is that how
Speaker 1: you met your No? No, I'm friends with eliza'schlessinger, who
Speaker 1: did you know, very publicly meet her her wonderful husband
Speaker 1: on Riya. And the funny story about that is that
Speaker 1: I tried to get on Riya and they wouldn't answer
Speaker 1: my emails. What my publicist email? So the way you
Speaker 1: get people there. Don't don't don't because I like there's
Speaker 1: something on there, like why is this person? Are you
Speaker 1: not happen? I will take that straight to my therapist,
Speaker 1: but like, why would they have all these people? But
Speaker 1: we literally my publicist email twice. I email. We never
Speaker 1: got a response back, and I was like, Okay, I
Speaker 1: guess I won't do that. Have got to be kidding
Speaker 1: and I feel like, well, we probably need to reach
Speaker 1: out and do something with them, But yeah, I have.
Speaker 1: I actually just wrote a script for my YouTube channel
Speaker 1: about I did try online dating and it was hilarious.
Speaker 1: BIA is basically celebrities. It's a celebrity dating site, so
Speaker 1: you have to have the blue check mark and you
Speaker 1: have to have so many followers in ye, but they
Speaker 1: also verify you if you have a very large bank account,
Speaker 1: and there's a certain with all due respect to all
Speaker 1: kinds of people in the industry, there's a certain kind
Speaker 1: of woman in particular and man that they want on
Speaker 1: that site, of course, raise the profile of their site.
Speaker 1: It's fascinating. But I tried using a different um online
Speaker 1: dating service. It was it was not that I did.
Speaker 1: I did, Okay, keep it and someone was like, why
Speaker 1: are you using Jenna Gramer's photo, and I'm like, it
Speaker 1: is a little awkward. There's also there's a I think
Speaker 1: there's a Jewish online dating site called saw You at
Speaker 1: Sinai because the notion is that the mystical notion is
Speaker 1: that all of the Jewish people stood at the base
Speaker 1: amount sign I win the ten Commandments were handed down,
Speaker 1: which is just like a cool mystic, but a notion
Speaker 1: that someone was like, that's the name, like saw you
Speaker 1: at Sinai? It's a Dorb's and him where did you
Speaker 1: meet them? I don't. I don't tell about how I
Speaker 1: met him. Was it romantic? Um? It was romantic in
Speaker 1: like a start of a poor no script kind of way.
Speaker 1: I like it. He's a carpenter. He's a carpenter anyway,
Speaker 1: So I don't. I haven't ever, you know, talked more
Speaker 1: about it. But but I've been divorced for it will
Speaker 1: be six years is great, so sometimes, you know, So
Speaker 1: I've I've heard about this from from married friends of mine,
Speaker 1: and especially from from women who who got married young
Speaker 1: and not didn't necessarily get to do the things that
Speaker 1: they wanted to. And with the much needed progress of
Speaker 1: the women's movement, which is progressing every day. Still, you know,
Speaker 1: we're still learning new ways to assert our needs and
Speaker 1: our desires. I do hear this from some friends of mine,
Speaker 1: like what's it like? You know, what's it like to
Speaker 1: be alone in your home and get to do whatever
Speaker 1: you need to do with no one interrupting? You know, Um,
Speaker 1: it's a very strange sense of independence. And you know,
Speaker 1: my ex husband we were married when we were together
Speaker 1: almost fifteen years and we were married for almost ten
Speaker 1: of them. And you know, my ex husband is the
Speaker 1: at home dad. You know, I'm the working parent, which
Speaker 1: is what it was like when we were married. But um,
Speaker 1: you know, he homeschools our boys, like he gives his
Speaker 1: life for them. It's really it's really incredible. But you know,
Speaker 1: our lives are very different. Like we're we're with our
Speaker 1: kids a lot, and um, you know when your homeschool,
Speaker 1: they're kind of around a lot. But um, you know,
Speaker 1: we've both kind of learned new ways to to exercise
Speaker 1: things about ourselves that that weren't exercised, you know, and
Speaker 1: didn't work. Um, there were a lot of things. And
Speaker 1: you know, it's not something I have talked about and
Speaker 1: probably may not plan to unless I read a book
Speaker 1: about it, which might happen. Um, but five million. But
Speaker 1: also I mean I think that, you know, I think
Speaker 1: that we were friends before we started dating. We were
Speaker 1: friends for a year and a half, and right now
Speaker 1: it does feel like we're best friends raising kids together
Speaker 1: because even though we've been divorced for six years, like
Speaker 1: we are still we're still responsible for them together, and
Speaker 1: that's amazing. That's the dream. Yeah, I mean, but and
Speaker 1: again and it right, but it comes with also this
Speaker 1: like other life that you get to have, you know.
Speaker 1: And my son said to me the other day, he
Speaker 1: was like, Wema, remember when we used to travel all
Speaker 1: the time. We used to all get on an airplane
Speaker 1: and go to New York. I missed those days. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, we we can't do that. We
Speaker 1: are taking a divorced family trip to Israel next week,
Speaker 1: which is how long are you do? Um, we're going
Speaker 1: for ten days. My kids have been before, but my
Speaker 1: older son's going to be bitsfod here in September, and
Speaker 1: we wanted to like my X and I are taking
Speaker 1: our mom's and we want that picture of like we
Speaker 1: went to Israel for man friend and I went three
Speaker 1: months ago to Israel, Like, so this is not a
Speaker 1: trip for um, no girlfriend. I won't speak to that
Speaker 1: because he gets to have his privacy, Like I wouldn't
Speaker 1: violate his privacy. But I know that, like what I
Speaker 1: most want is for him to be happy. And I
Speaker 1: never like knew I could feel that so deeply, you know. Um,
Speaker 1: and yeah, and there's not you know obviously, like all
Speaker 1: sorts of gossipy places have things to say about like
Speaker 1: you know, oh it must be because they slept with
Speaker 1: their kids in their bed. It's like no, plenty of
Speaker 1: people you know, share sleep with their kids and don't
Speaker 1: get divorced. Like it's not really you know, the business
Speaker 1: of the gossip universe and and you know, and everything
Speaker 1: that I've said, you know about our marriage, and you
Speaker 1: know on grack nation and on YouTube. Um, those are
Speaker 1: things that he approves. He approves every post, every video
Speaker 1: that is even vaguely about him or the boys. We
Speaker 1: made the decision to have them on the cover together.
Speaker 1: And if he would have said, you know what, I
Speaker 1: don't want them on the cover, I would have respected that.
Speaker 1: But I think that's great that you guys are working
Speaker 1: together like that. We're told that we're the most amazing
Speaker 1: divorced couple of people now, like it's kind of crazy.
Speaker 1: I think that's great. My situation is a little different.
Speaker 1: I have to say. Yeah, I hope in five years
Speaker 1: it gets to that place definitely. And I'm not saying
Speaker 1: it's all like like there are a lot of times
Speaker 1: that I'm frustrated. He clearly like there's a lot about
Speaker 1: my energy that annoyed him when we were married. It
Speaker 1: still annoys him. You know, there's a lot about his personality,
Speaker 1: like you know, but it's but again, it's like we're
Speaker 1: just humans. Like we're humans and there's no dress, like
Speaker 1: this is the dress rehearsal. This is our kid's life.
Speaker 1: They get it once they get one opportunity to learn
Speaker 1: how to speak about other people and to learn how
Speaker 1: to like work through adversity and to be heard, you know,
Speaker 1: like yeah, and like when my sons saying like I
Speaker 1: missed blah blah blah. Yeah I missed that too, you know,
Speaker 1: I missed data. It's hard. Yeah, it's hard. Did you
Speaker 1: ever consider staying together for them? Not that I think
Speaker 1: that's the right thing. Yeah, I mean, like you know,
Speaker 1: it's like Louis Kay says, like, no, happy couple gets divorced.
Speaker 1: You know, don't be sad when people get divorced. It's
Speaker 1: like that's that's because they've tried everything in their experience
Speaker 1: UM and those things didn't work. And you know a
Speaker 1: lot of people, like the celebrities, they just think it's like, no,
Speaker 1: we're people. We did all the things. We went to there,
Speaker 1: like we do all those things. We went to therapy
Speaker 1: through our divorce, which is really interesting and I think
Speaker 1: it's really probably really helpful. It was very help It
Speaker 1: was very helpful. We still speak to a family therapist UM,
Speaker 1: sometimes together, sometimes separate if things come up, because we
Speaker 1: need that support. It's not that like, oh we're so
Speaker 1: rich we afford it. No, like we we seek out
Speaker 1: support even from you know, people that do it, meaning
Speaker 1: from people who have been through it. It's so important
Speaker 1: to find what worked for other people and then to
Speaker 1: adjust it to make you know what works for you.
Speaker 1: I find that people when I say, oh, no, I'm
Speaker 1: getting divorced, they'll say, oh, I'm so sorry, and I'm like, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, I'm so happy. Exactly right, okay, Amy, Sorry,
Speaker 1: She's like she needs this is where I sitting on
Speaker 1: my lap, right now, everyone's straddling me, and her nose
Speaker 1: is like a centimeter from my nose. This is what
Speaker 1: I want to sort of understand. I don't even know
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna be able to ask it right, and
Speaker 1: hopefully you can help me through it. Just so you
Speaker 1: guys know, Amy is really smart and super mar and
Speaker 1: I think it's my downfall because I try to like
Speaker 1: overthink everything, Like I spend a lot of time googling
Speaker 1: how to stop overthinking, like so then I you should
Speaker 1: google how to stop googling things. And I spend two
Speaker 1: hours reading about how to not think, how to think
Speaker 1: myself out of thinking right. And I think that's I mean,
Speaker 1: part of the works, part of the you know, blessing
Speaker 1: of having an active mind, um is that we want
Speaker 1: to work through everything and we want to believe there's
Speaker 1: a solution to everything. And I think one of the
Speaker 1: things that I've gained with you know, experience and hopefully maturity,
Speaker 1: which I'm a very immature person, you know, Like I
Speaker 1: still think burping is funny, um as I'm doing it
Speaker 1: literally right now and I'm trying no, But I think
Speaker 1: one of the things I've learned is that, um, there
Speaker 1: are certain things that cannot be figured out by the
Speaker 1: power of my brain. And what it is. What it
Speaker 1: is a lot of times is that we want to
Speaker 1: control something because it feels so unpleasant to not be
Speaker 1: able to and that's the thing that we try and do.
Speaker 1: And it can ruin relationships. It can ruin your relationship
Speaker 1: with your kids. It was really hard on my relationship
Speaker 1: with my parents. And it wasn't until my dad was
Speaker 1: dying that I was like, oh, I best figure this
Speaker 1: out in these three years. Right now. I figured out
Speaker 1: that sometimes you have to The expression is like let
Speaker 1: go and let God, you know, no, But the fact
Speaker 1: for me as a person of faith, like I actually
Speaker 1: do resonant and it doesn't have to be a religious
Speaker 1: or a Judeo Christian or a patriarchal faith. But the
Speaker 1: notion that there are things we can't explain and sometimes
Speaker 1: they have an organic existence that is beyond our need
Speaker 1: to control them that can be really empowering. You know,
Speaker 1: a lot of people feel like, oh, surrenders a sign
Speaker 1: of weakness. For me, surrenders a sign of strength, because
Speaker 1: it's literally like, that's the point that that's why people
Speaker 1: structured religion the way we did, because like I can't
Speaker 1: hold this, I can't think my way out of my pain.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you just have to feel your feelings and like
Speaker 1: that's that's therapy. And that's what we were told with
Speaker 1: the divorce and particular, when your children are crying for
Speaker 1: their father, don't have them make a card for him,
Speaker 1: don't have them watch a movie, don't give them a snack,
Speaker 1: because that's setting them up for a lifetime of eating.
Speaker 1: What I was told to do is say, yes, it hurts,
Speaker 1: it's sad. Can I hold you? That's it? And it's
Speaker 1: so hard because I want to be like, oh, here's
Speaker 1: the key chain I'll make you that makes you not
Speaker 1: miss your father, and like, oh, wait a second. They
Speaker 1: miss him because they're human, and if I try and
Speaker 1: interrupt it, it teaches them to substitute. It teaches them like, oh,
Speaker 1: is there a drink that makes it better? Is there
Speaker 1: a pill that makes it better? Is there a TV
Speaker 1: show that makes it better? Is there a food that
Speaker 1: makes it? Oh? You so badly want to feed them
Speaker 1: when they're sad. Oh you do, But that's messed up
Speaker 1: because when I'm sad, it's really important message because I
Speaker 1: do that to them, and that's why sometimes I drink wine.
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is my ing it. That's that's we
Speaker 1: all self medicating in some way. It's either TV or
Speaker 1: or its video games, or it's sacks or it's or
Speaker 1: it's flirting. You know. Some men to some some women
Speaker 1: really love like that energy of like he wants me,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't think, oh maybe he does,
Speaker 1: like oh you're that woman, right, everybody's got their things.
Speaker 1: She's smart and she's sexy. I might be that because
Speaker 1: like even today, I'm like I want to text him
Speaker 1: so bad, and so I'm just like I want to
Speaker 1: not text so that I'm not like an addict. It
Speaker 1: feels addict. Well, you're that's a love addiction, which I
Speaker 1: cannot wait to talk about at some point. But oh,
Speaker 1: it's going to be so juicy. Sea gives me that like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that hits or very good smart, don't say that. No,
Speaker 1: it's feeding your endorphins every single time you because that's
Speaker 1: your hit that you're trying to get back. You need it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And it's like yeah, and that's love addiction. What I
Speaker 1: learned because I'm a love addict things is that hit
Speaker 1: doesn't last because that will last a week last like
Speaker 1: a couple hours doesn't last, and then themes just a second,
Speaker 1: it's so bad. And then the other thing I learned
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear you talk about when she's still
Speaker 1: sitting in her lap, you're inviting me back. I think
Speaker 1: you're inviting me back her because you're smart and spiritual
Speaker 1: and emotional, which you don't usually get all that. I'm
Speaker 1: the whole package. Would you like a room women women,
Speaker 1: and don't don't touch me? There? You can be on
Speaker 1: my lap, but don't touch I. Men tend to say
Speaker 1: like everything would be great if he only would do
Speaker 1: the Yeah, that's called the heaths, and that's like literally
Speaker 1: the worst thing you can do. Okay, Well, well, I
Speaker 1: mean honestly, that's that's a that's a symptom of any
Speaker 1: addiction or any codependency, like and there's science behind this
Speaker 1: that like I would be okay if you know, and
Speaker 1: a lot of these things are you know, codependency is
Speaker 1: kind of like you know, it's this term like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm codependent, But the truth is that codependency, by definition,
Speaker 1: if you take the quizzes online, you know, codependency by
Speaker 1: definition is I'm only okay if you're okay, or meaning
Speaker 1: if like, if you're doing what I want you to do,
Speaker 1: like that's okay, and that I mean honestly, that's the
Speaker 1: root of what drives a lot of people to drink,
Speaker 1: to use drugs, to use sex, because the idea is
Speaker 1: I don't like what it feels like to not have that.
Speaker 1: So people say, like for people who are alcoholic, right, um,
Speaker 1: the problem is not drinking. The problem is sobriety. Like,
Speaker 1: people don't like what it feels like to be sober,
Speaker 1: so they drink. So people don't like what it feels
Speaker 1: like to be alone, so they keep pursuing people. People
Speaker 1: don't like what it feels like to have to live
Speaker 1: as a human, so we take drugs. You know, I mean,
Speaker 1: whatever it is, I think a lot of women and
Speaker 1: I'm sure men, but I can only speak for women
Speaker 1: like text there significant other whatever they text. But I've
Speaker 1: learned what I'm really saying is like, am I okay? Ye?
Speaker 1: Make me happy? Am I good enough? Am I okay? Yeah?
Speaker 1: We need also need a whole episode on codependency and
Speaker 1: love addiction, because yes, and part of it is how
Speaker 1: we're raised. I was raised. I mean, my mom was
Speaker 1: a very old fashioned you know. She was born in
Speaker 1: the forties, very old fashioned. I was raised that the
Speaker 1: way you please a man is to cook for him,
Speaker 1: to iron his handkerchiefs, to make sure every like food's
Speaker 1: on the table, don't disturb and when he gets home,
Speaker 1: like my dad, my dad was a public school teacher, um,
Speaker 1: and he would come home and it was like, do
Speaker 1: not speak to your father for the next ninety minutes.
Speaker 1: He needs to lay down and relax. And it's like,
Speaker 1: but mom, you've been scrubbing toilets all day and teaching,
Speaker 1: making us breakfast and lunch, and now you're going to
Speaker 1: make dinner and he needs a nap. You need a nap. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I don't marriage. That's the thing. Like we're programmed
Speaker 1: like that. And people are like, oh, women's movement, we
Speaker 1: still got a long way to go forget about like
Speaker 1: me too and all this which is so important. There
Speaker 1: are basics in our home of how we think about
Speaker 1: like I still want to approval from my ex husband
Speaker 1: about like what I'm gonna wear to our kids photo
Speaker 1: exhibits up bringing your childhood try And then we ended
Speaker 1: up dressing like twins. Accidentally. I'm like, this is awkward.
Speaker 1: My ex husband and I were twins at the photo exhibit,
Speaker 1: and I had to say in a man friend, I'm like,
Speaker 1: we didn't plan this. My ex husband and I are twins.
Speaker 1: We didn't plan it. I think great. All three of
Speaker 1: you address the same serious Okay, I seriously want you
Speaker 1: back because I think you're fantastic. But in the meantime,
Speaker 1: where can our listeners find you? Our listeners can find me.
Speaker 1: Let's see at grap nation dot com. I miss my
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, g r okay Nation. To grack means to
Speaker 1: understand something super, super deeply and intimately so that it
Speaker 1: becomes part of you. When you say that, all I
Speaker 1: think of this sassy, Oh well you should so, yes,
Speaker 1: grap Nation, I miss my um on all my, what's
Speaker 1: it called social media? Everything? You have your right if
Speaker 1: you have if you have a boy or we're a boy,
Speaker 1: but especially if you have a boy or want to
Speaker 1: understand men. This is the process by which boys become men,
Speaker 1: and it actually informs a lot of adult male behavior
Speaker 1: as well. And if you have a girl growing up?
Speaker 1: Was its companion um that I wrote a year ago,
Speaker 1: And that's also about the process of you know, it's
Speaker 1: the psychology and the sociology of being female, and then
Speaker 1: I did basically the same for boys, with an emphasis
Speaker 1: on the mixed messages girls get in our culture for
Speaker 1: growing up um and then for bowing up the mixed
Speaker 1: messages the boys get like be aggressive, not too aggressive,
Speaker 1: you know it would be nice, not too nice. Be
Speaker 1: sweet not too sweet, you know, like musical theater but
Speaker 1: not too much. Don't cry, don't cry or cry? You
Speaker 1: right right? I love it. Well, thank you so much,
Speaker 1: thank you an interesting group of women, really really really nice. Dude.
Speaker 1: She's awesome. I love her. If she really comes over
Speaker 1: and organizes my my eight five thousand million legos that
Speaker 1: are in five different areas of the house, it is
Speaker 1: a game changer. My life will be changed. I want
Speaker 1: to see four. She seems like she would. I think
Speaker 1: she seemed like she was just like, hey, Amy, what,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I just feel like I made me so happy.
Speaker 1: I think she liked I know. I want to drink
Speaker 1: Scotch with her. You're like that girl that's like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, the popular girl like I'm gonna be fried
Speaker 1: my hair? Can we get Drew barrymore in next? She
Speaker 1: is on my friend list, and he's like, Okay, but
Speaker 1: she was curious. I just love how honest she is
Speaker 1: about struggles, which is great because she's not like, oh yeah, Thames,
Speaker 1: it's like Sames. Great. She's she keeps it real, which
Speaker 1: I love, but she also keeps she keeps enough of
Speaker 1: a wall to still be relatable. That makes absolutely She's
Speaker 1: so authentic. She's so authentic. She's so cool, you know,
Speaker 1: I was. There's something that she said though that made
Speaker 1: me question what I've been doing because my daughter is
Speaker 1: everywhere on Instagram. And she said that you know she
Speaker 1: does an Instagram or boys, because that's not the life
Speaker 1: that they chose. And I'm just like, wow, that really
Speaker 1: start a chord with me, because I will I'll never
Speaker 1: forget this. We were at Disneyland or no disney World
Speaker 1: and someone went up to Joe Ling goes, Jolie, can
Speaker 1: I have a picture with you? Did not even ask
Speaker 1: for a picture with me, Like I went to get
Speaker 1: into picture. No, no, just with Jolie and that's scary,
Speaker 1: And I was like, I don't like that. But but
Speaker 1: it's my fault because I've put her up on Instagram
Speaker 1: so much, but I've just wanted to like share motherhood
Speaker 1: and her But she didn't. She didn't ask to be
Speaker 1: on my Instagram, she didn't ask to be all over
Speaker 1: my social So now I'm just like, am I doing
Speaker 1: something wrong? I don't think so, because I do it
Speaker 1: as well. Although I'm not famous, so it's very different.
Speaker 1: You're famous in a like, like a different way. I'm
Speaker 1: famous in my family. You're like, it's like they asked
Speaker 1: you like a million questions about Ryan Seacrest in Detroit.
Speaker 1: I'm famous, yeah, because I'm from Detroit. You know that
Speaker 1: we're from Michigan. Oh yeah, I know, it's weird. It's air.
Speaker 1: But no, but so so you do the same thing. No,
Speaker 1: I mean, he's all over my Instagram. And the only
Speaker 1: thing I'm very careful about is I never post a
Speaker 1: location with his picture or something that is recognizable, because
Speaker 1: I don't do that either. But I mean, it was
Speaker 1: very clear that we were at Disney World, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just you know, it's it's scary and in my
Speaker 1: daytime TV talk days when I worked at one of
Speaker 1: those big shows that I used to have these guests
Speaker 1: on and people would write it, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: say a doctor. It's a it was a doctor. And anyways,
Speaker 1: there's only one, so it's fine as well, just say bill, okay.
Speaker 1: I remember there's this one story that stood out. Um,
Speaker 1: somebody wrote in that she found a website and a
Speaker 1: Facebook page where somebody had stolen all of her family
Speaker 1: pictures and she was catfishing people and pretending to have
Speaker 1: this family with these children, and that freaks me the
Speaker 1: f out. Someone someone did a pay age for Jolie
Speaker 1: and I immediately sent it to my manager, Catherine. I
Speaker 1: was like, to have them take this down. She's like, well,
Speaker 1: I mean it's kind of one of those things where
Speaker 1: it's like these photos are public, click they can do
Speaker 1: somehow hover they want to shut down. But still, I
Speaker 1: mean someone else could. So it's like, yeah, that's just scary.
Speaker 1: It's scary. But I don't know what the balance is
Speaker 1: because I love sharing Jolie. I know she's so cute.
Speaker 1: I mean her like dance recital, Like I loved every
Speaker 1: moment of that, like sharing that with people. So I
Speaker 1: don't know. I guess I just again like location thing,
Speaker 1: which I don't do. But still, it's just but it's
Speaker 1: just a very interesting. When she said that, that made
Speaker 1: me kind of go, oh, you can always start. I
Speaker 1: have a friend who is is a huge folloween. He's
Speaker 1: a radio radio personality. He's a dad, his entire um fatherhood.
Speaker 1: Of his daughters, he's always put something over their face
Speaker 1: or made their hair cover their face, or put in
Speaker 1: emoji over their face. I don't want to do that.
Speaker 1: I know. I'm just saying, you have options, but again,
Speaker 1: like I love it because she's so darn cute. So
Speaker 1: you know what I will say this. I was watching
Speaker 1: Regis and not Regis and Kelly's Louise Kelly and Ryan Sorry,
Speaker 1: and Kelly Rippa said that her daughter Lola Um. She
Speaker 1: was like, you cannot post my prom picture on Instagram.
Speaker 1: And so I think when Julie comes to the age
Speaker 1: where she says, mom, I don't want you doing this,
Speaker 1: or I'll even ask her like is it okay? Like
Speaker 1: if I post this photo like I want her to have,
Speaker 1: then she can make she can make a say. But
Speaker 1: until that, sorry, girl, you're getting plastered all my stuff.
Speaker 1: I get the most likes when you're in it, right,
Speaker 1: Puppies and babies, puppies and babies, Like I mean again,
Speaker 1: I just I want to share that. But when she
Speaker 1: gets that age where she says, Mommy, I don't want
Speaker 1: you to do that. I'll not do it. But then
Speaker 1: I just I love Kelly's relationship with Lola. I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh man, that's gonna be me, and it's gonna be
Speaker 1: me and Julie just going at it. You are going
Speaker 1: to yeah, speaking of like you just have a different
Speaker 1: relationship with girls and you do sons like daughters and
Speaker 1: you do sons. Sons are very um just I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean they're just mostly mama's like Mama boys, Mama's boy.
Speaker 1: What is it Mama's boys, Mama boy, mama by mama's boys.
Speaker 1: What did you take the most from mine? I love
Speaker 1: how grounded she is in how she walks through life,
Speaker 1: Like her journey is so balanced with cognitive you know her,
Speaker 1: like the way she weirdness, the way she thinks she's
Speaker 1: scientific yet spiritual. Um, she just seems so grounded in
Speaker 1: the way she makes decisions and walks through life. And
Speaker 1: I love that. Um. I could really resonate with everything
Speaker 1: she was saying, because I try and be that. I
Speaker 1: try and be a rooted tree that just sways in
Speaker 1: the wind. But were you kind of upset about not
Speaker 1: upset but envious of the relationship that she has with her.
Speaker 1: I'm not envious, but I'm I'm just fascinated by it,
Speaker 1: like how they can be like so close because I
Speaker 1: think you guys are just too new. I think it's
Speaker 1: too new, and I don't. I mean, I was like
Speaker 1: when I was thinking about it, I was like, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be maybe like not not now
Speaker 1: it's I think it's too fresh. But yeah, and I
Speaker 1: think Amy. What Amy mostly got out of it was
Speaker 1: the fact that she's not going to text her man friend, right,
Speaker 1: She's going to let that one she has a new ve. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: pretty much. Okay, so let's talk about brushing your teeth everybody.
Speaker 1: The truth is most of us are brushing our teeth wrong.
Speaker 1: And I I knew that. You. I know that you
Speaker 1: have to brush your teeth for two minutes, but I
Speaker 1: never do. I never do either. I try and sing
Speaker 1: the alphabet in my head three times, like did you
Speaker 1: give you trying to go really fast? Yes, but two
Speaker 1: minutes is actually a long time. It's I mean, that's
Speaker 1: a super long time. Yeah. So I like the fact
Speaker 1: that this toothbrush holds me accountable for brushing my teeth
Speaker 1: for two minutes. Um, it's really cute. It comes in
Speaker 1: rose gold. It was also Oprah's favorite favorite things, which
Speaker 1: I which if Oprah says she loves it, then I
Speaker 1: love it. Well. She jumps, I jump whatever whatever she
Speaker 1: does whenever she's brush with that. So UM, I think
Speaker 1: it's fantastic Quip as an electric toothbrush that's a fraction
Speaker 1: of the cost of bulk your toothbrushes while still packing
Speaker 1: just the right amount of vibrations to help clean your teeth.
Speaker 1: And I love clean teeth. So Dennis recommended two minutes
Speaker 1: amazing pulses. Um. The Equip subscription plans are for your health,
Speaker 1: not just convenience. They deliver new brush heads on a
Speaker 1: dentist recommended schedule every three months. And I know this
Speaker 1: sounds gross, but like I never I ain't changed my teethbrush,
Speaker 1: like feel hard toothbrush that you love, and then every
Speaker 1: three months like that, but that's the dentist recommended. So
Speaker 1: they'll send it to you at your doorstop your convenience
Speaker 1: for just five dollars, including free shipping worldwide, So that's fantastic. Um.
Speaker 1: Quip also comes with amount that suctions right to your
Speaker 1: mirror and unsticks to use as a cover for your
Speaker 1: hygienic travel wherever you take your teeth, so it's super easy. Again,
Speaker 1: it's super small too, so it's just super convenient. Um
Speaker 1: Quip starts at just twenty five dollars and if you
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Speaker 1: get quip dot com slash Jana. So next week, by
Speaker 1: the way, I love today's show. I hope everyone liked
Speaker 1: it and laughed as much as we did. But next
Speaker 1: week is going to be a very um important episode
Speaker 1: for me and um Jenny, you don't even know that.
Speaker 1: I don't even I have no idea there's I don't
Speaker 1: believe I'm going to have to wait a whole week.
Speaker 1: It's so unfair. Well, I told, I told Jen and
Speaker 1: Amy the producers. I said, there's something that I need
Speaker 1: to share and I it's a very big announcement and
Speaker 1: I want to do it on the podcast. So next week, guys,
Speaker 1: listen up because I want to share it with y'all.
Speaker 1: So I cannot wait, you're gonna have to wait. I
Speaker 1: know it's torture. Yeah, I'm going to be time to you.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be like, what is tell me. I'm the
Speaker 1: worst secret keeper of other people's secrets, but like with mine,
Speaker 1: I'm like, nope, not telling you, but no, I'm really
Speaker 1: excited to share uh, to share this with you guys. Um,
Speaker 1: but I just uh oh, she's excited. That means it's good. Um. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I don't know, we'll see awesome. All right, that's it.
Speaker 1: Foo