1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:01,520 Speaker 1: Ah, romance. 2 00:00:01,720 --> 00:00:04,440 Speaker 2: It sounds great. It's got all the upside of love 3 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:07,160 Speaker 2: and sex and none of the downside, I guess. But 4 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,920 Speaker 2: there was a time when Valentine's Day was celebrated a 5 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:15,600 Speaker 2: little differently. Imagine your sweetheart wanting to increase your fertility, 6 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:19,560 Speaker 2: sacrifices an animal, and then slaps you with the hide. 7 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 1: I'm Patty Steele. 8 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 2: How romance has evolved? Next on the backstory. We're back 9 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:32,199 Speaker 2: with the backstory. Well, we all want a little romance 10 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,920 Speaker 2: in our lives, right, but it means different things to 11 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,839 Speaker 2: different people, and it played out really differently depending on 12 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:41,959 Speaker 2: when you lived these days. A lot of us kind 13 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 2: of brush romance aside, but secretly we dream. Let's head 14 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:50,879 Speaker 2: back in time. Attachment is ancient. In fact, apes evolved 15 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:54,360 Speaker 2: the ability to become emotionally attached to one another as 16 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 2: humans appeared on the scene. We maintained those attachments, mostly 17 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 2: because it helped us and the abes survive. Everybody needs 18 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:05,760 Speaker 2: a team. Right well later through thousands of years and 19 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:09,200 Speaker 2: right up until the seventeen hundred's, marriage became a thing, 20 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:13,400 Speaker 2: but it was pure business. Romance wasn't even a consideration 21 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:17,680 Speaker 2: the early days of Valentine's Day began in Roman times 22 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:21,720 Speaker 2: in the sixth century BC with a very unromantic and 23 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 2: very bloody pagan fertility festival. Every year between February thirteenth 24 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 2: and fifteenth the Romans celebrated Lubercalia by sacrificing animals and 25 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 2: then slapping women with the bloody hides of those animals, 26 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:39,839 Speaker 2: which they believed made women more fertile. Later, in those 27 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:43,480 Speaker 2: same festivities, women would be paired off with men by lottery. 28 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:46,560 Speaker 2: Wow talk about romance and when it came to that 29 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:50,440 Speaker 2: pairing off well. For thousands of years, in most societies, 30 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 2: men dealt with the money, getting the food, and the 31 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 2: overall decision making. Women figured out how to make the 32 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,400 Speaker 2: money work. They took care of the home and children 33 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 2: and social obligations. Romance not so much. If you had money. 34 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:08,959 Speaker 2: Marriage was about inheritance, land, politics, business, Children and wealthy 35 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,360 Speaker 2: people often found romance, but it was pretty much always 36 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:15,160 Speaker 2: on the side, and mostly just for men since women 37 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:16,800 Speaker 2: had to worry about pregnancy. 38 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:17,519 Speaker 1: Now. 39 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,800 Speaker 2: If you didn't have money, it was all about getting 40 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 2: the best deal possible from your intended everything from a 41 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,760 Speaker 2: little bit of money. If anybody had any land or 42 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,960 Speaker 2: at least access to some and somebody'd have children with. 43 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 2: You'd put together whatever kind of home you could manage 44 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 2: with traditional responsibilities. Again, not very romantic, but very practical. 45 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 2: Now here's the thing. People entering a marriage didn't really 46 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:45,680 Speaker 2: expect anything different. They knew what they were getting into, 47 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 2: unless you were Romeo and Juliet, who treasured love beyond 48 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:53,679 Speaker 2: family obligations. And we all know how that ended for them, 49 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,119 Speaker 2: which was kind of the point of that story, thank you, Shakespeare. 50 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:58,920 Speaker 1: And there were other exceptions. 51 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 2: In fact, in fourteen fifteen, the Duke of Orleans wrote 52 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 2: the very First Valentine. It was a poem the twenty 53 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,880 Speaker 2: one year old duke sent to his wife from prison. 54 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 2: He was locked up in the Tower of London after 55 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,799 Speaker 2: being captured in a battle with British troops. He wrote, 56 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 2: I am already sick with love, my very gentle Valentine. Unfortunately, 57 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,640 Speaker 2: he was locked up for another twenty five years, and 58 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:25,440 Speaker 2: his wife died five years before he was released. But 59 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:28,960 Speaker 2: by the seventeen hundreds, romantic feelings started to be taken 60 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 2: into account pretty regularly when it came to marriage. Still, 61 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 2: there wasn't much in the way of dating. It was 62 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 2: referred to as courting, and the intention was very different. 63 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: The goal of. 64 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 2: Courtship was always marriage, so family was still very much 65 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 2: involved in the decision. It's just that courting gave both 66 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 2: the man and the woman the opportunity to see if 67 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 2: there were sparks feelings there. In fact, in some cases, 68 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 2: young couples were allowed to go to bed together, but 69 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,000 Speaker 2: they were fully dressed and they had a thing called 70 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:01,440 Speaker 2: a bundling board between them. Yeah, it was actually a 71 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 2: big board that kept them from touching but allowed them 72 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 2: to lie together in the dark and talk and bond. 73 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 1: They also had bundling. 74 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 2: Sacks, by the way, which were basically sleeping bags for two, 75 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 2: but sewn all the way up the middle. Now, if 76 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 2: the couple decided there were feelings and the man made 77 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,960 Speaker 2: a commitment, he had a really really rough time getting 78 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 2: out of it unless the woman released him from his obligation. 79 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:26,560 Speaker 1: As they called it. 80 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 2: It was called breach of promise if you weren't officially released. 81 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 2: But still, feelings became more important, and that's when Valentine's 82 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 2: Day became more of a thing. Love letters and gifts 83 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 2: were away to win someone's heart. The absolute peak of 84 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:47,839 Speaker 2: the romantic approach to Valentine's Day began in the late 85 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:52,600 Speaker 2: seventeen hundreds, when people began to build these elaborate puzzle 86 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 2: Valentines with folded paper, which, when each section was unfolded, 87 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:02,560 Speaker 2: revealed more about the sender's feeling. Then came the eighteen hundreds, when, 88 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 2: in an effort to outdo competitors, guys began to really 89 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:10,200 Speaker 2: slather on the romance. Valentine's cards reached their peak in 90 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 2: the mid eighteen hundreds, since the mail service was reliable 91 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:16,000 Speaker 2: and there was really no other way to reach out, 92 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:20,200 Speaker 2: Plus one woman started making a business out of constructing Valentines. 93 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 2: Incredibly artistic Valentines showed up, decorated with everything from peacock 94 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:29,919 Speaker 2: feathers to lace to jewels, accompanied by very mushy but 95 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 2: beautiful poetry or prose. Sometimes they'd quote their favorite romantic poet, 96 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:38,280 Speaker 2: like Elizabeth Barrett, who published her love poems to her 97 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:42,200 Speaker 2: future husband Robert Browning. The first lines of her sonnets 98 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 2: from the Portuguese read how do I Love THEE? Let 99 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:48,240 Speaker 2: me count the ways I love THEE? To the depth 100 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:52,560 Speaker 2: and breadth and height my soul can reach. Wow, romantic, 101 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,160 Speaker 2: How else might you celebrate in those days? 102 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:56,600 Speaker 1: Well? 103 00:05:56,720 --> 00:06:00,719 Speaker 2: Victorians started the tradition of giving flowers, especially red roses, 104 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 2: for Valentine's Day, still very popular today. They gave jewelry, 105 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,960 Speaker 2: which has never gone out of fashion, and you might 106 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,040 Speaker 2: also swoon over a box of chocolates. In a very 107 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 2: smart business move, Richard Cadbury of Cadbury Chocolates created the 108 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:18,840 Speaker 2: first heart shaped box of chocolates in eighteen sixty one, 109 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,599 Speaker 2: trying to drive up sales for the family business, and 110 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:25,520 Speaker 2: boy did it work. Now thirty six million heart shaped 111 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:29,040 Speaker 2: boxes of chocolate are sold every year. By the way, 112 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 2: it wasn't all flowers and chocolates during the Victorian era. 113 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:36,279 Speaker 2: If you didn't appreciate the attention of an admirer, you 114 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:40,600 Speaker 2: would send vinegar valentines also called penny dreadfuls that were 115 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 2: meant to put a stop to unwanted attention. Now, by 116 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 2: the time Hollywood got involved in romance in the twentieth century, 117 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 2: they sold us on the idea of romantic forever love 118 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:54,360 Speaker 2: and don't you love the happy ending, the happily ever 119 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:55,440 Speaker 2: after storyline? 120 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 1: Question? Is is it realistic? These days? 121 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,839 Speaker 2: We still sell celebrate Valentine's Day, but we've begun to 122 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,320 Speaker 2: lay off the mushy part of it. Did you know 123 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:09,120 Speaker 2: that today teachers get more Valentines than any other group, 124 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 2: followed by kids, moms, then wives, and then are fur babies. 125 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 2: Some even celebrate Gallantine's Day a time to celebrate your 126 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 2: best female friends, even if there's no romance. In fact, 127 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 2: backing you up on that note is the Greek philosopher Plato, 128 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,920 Speaker 2: who said the highest form of love was actually our 129 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 2: non sexual, non. 130 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: Romantic attachment to another person. 131 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:37,000 Speaker 2: That's so called brotherly love, which we now call platonic love, 132 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:41,680 Speaker 2: named after, of course, Plato. He believed that passion, romance, 133 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 2: and sex make us do really stupid stuff, and that 134 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 2: love between family members or close friends is the perfect attachment. 135 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:51,640 Speaker 2: It's kind of hard to argue with that. Now. The 136 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 2: thing is, at the end of the day, we're all 137 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:57,680 Speaker 2: looking to feel something right, that little flutter or warmth 138 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 2: when you see someone you're attracted to and when they 139 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 2: lock eyes with you. Romance does that for us. So 140 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:10,520 Speaker 2: Happy Valentine's Day, whatever that means to you. If you 141 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 2: have a story you'd like me to take a deeper 142 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 2: dive into and share, feel free to DM me on 143 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:19,640 Speaker 2: Facebook at Patty Steele or on Instagram at Real Patty Steele. 144 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 2: I'm Patty Steele. The Backstories a production of iHeartMedia, Premiere Networks, 145 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 2: the Elvis Duran Group, and Steel Trap Productions. Our producer 146 00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:37,880 Speaker 2: is Doug Fraser. Our writer Jake Kushner. We have new 147 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:41,440 Speaker 2: episodes every Tuesday and Friday. Feel free to reach out 148 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:44,880 Speaker 2: to me with comments and even story suggestions on Instagram 149 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:48,120 Speaker 2: at Real Patty Steele and on Facebook at Patty Steele. 150 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:51,520 Speaker 2: Thanks for listening to the Backstory with Patty Steele, the 151 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:54,520 Speaker 2: pieces of history you didn't know you needed to know.